PERFECTING OUR PARENTING

Session Two / Harvest Baptist Church / Pastor Alan Shelby

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Paradigm for Parenting Ages 1-12

Proverbs 22:6
Thesis: The Bible has an inuence to your advantage and an impact on your behalf when you simply ____________ what it says. FOUR ITEMS IN THE FIRST DECADE TO DOZEN YEARS 1. Your ____________ ______________ Denitions The Hebrew word translated betimes means to be __________ and earnestly at something The word train means to dedicate and inaugurate; to create ___________ and to stimulate a childs feeding instinct Authority is the right to dene limits, rules and consequences through the ________________ application of direct control and appeal to conscience Nurture means one of the things you have to provide your children by example is a general set of life ____________ Admonition means we provide ____________________ and discipline Spanking is the ________________ use of physical pain to change the mind of your child in their determination to be disobedient Point 1. Every child has natural __________ that are both good and evil. THE SIX ABSOLUTE ELEMENTS OF LOVING CONTROL, DEUT 6:17-25 Two principles falling on the truth side 1. Authorityknow the truth 2. Accountabilityobey the truth Four principles falling on the grace side 3. Affectionopenly 4. Availabilityreadily 5. Appreciationregularly 6. Acceptanceconstantly

AN EXPERIENTIAL EXEGESIS OF OUR PARENTING CHALLENGE 1. There is so much to know and do, it can leave you feeling tired and r un-down, and if youre not careful, run-________ 2. There is an incredible __________ to children 3. Bible principles push against our soft spot, and often go against the ______________ and their books

Outline Proverbs 22:1-6 I. PRIORITIES, 1-2 II. PERCEPTIONS, 3-5 III. PARENTHOOD, 6

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PERFECTINGPARENTING
WHAT WE ARE ASKING YOU TO DO NOW 1. Give your children a safe and secure environment The way you establish children in a secure environment is through constant, consistent and courageous communication about life issues from a biblical frame of reference 2. Train your children to be good citizens You get to this goal by teaching them to submit to authority and preventing them from being unruly 3. Teach your children biblical understanding Educate them in what it takes to be pleasing to God by rst making right decisions, and then secondly developing the discipline to get it done 4. Lead your children to be godly like you Start with the heart, stick to the scriptures, seek the Spirits assistance, and strive for biblical success Recommended Resources Family Shock: Keeping Families Strong in the Midst of Earthshaking Change, by Gary R. Collins. Tyndale House: 1995. Communication Skills for Parents http:// parentingteens.about.com/cs/disciplin1/a/ comskills.htm Five Needs Your Child Must Have Met at Home, by Ron Hutchcraft. Zondervan: 1995. To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl. No Greater Joy, 1995. http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/ The Five Musts of Intentional Listening, by Jan Pedersen. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/ Pedersen2.html Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, by Paul David Tripp. P & R Publishing, 2001. Shepherding a Childs Heart, by Tedd Tripp, Shepherd Press, 1998. Hints on Child Training, by H. Clay Trumbull. Great Expectations Book Co.: 1993. *Note: recommending a resource does not constitute Alans endorsement of everything in the book. Read with discretion, and balance any authors advice against what you are learning in our studies.

A Word to the Mommas and the Poppas A. Parents are not in charge just because they are bigger, smarter, or got to the planet rst, but because God has made the adult his divine __________ in the lives of their children THE DIVINE ______________ OF PARENTING Be guardianprotect your kids Be guidedirect your kids Be governoradministrate your kids B. Perfected parental authority is expressed as a combination of control and __________________ C. Expect them to both ______________ and try to get around the rules regularly D. If you dont ______ it, they cant obey it E. Be willing to talk about it but never willing to __________ over it F. Train them by telling them only once, because you establish the limit by what you __________ early on FOUR TYPES OF PARENTS Total autocratic control is on one extreme (no grace) Total negligence is on the other extreme (no presence) The permissive parent also falls to that extreme (no discipline) The balanced relational parent Point 2. Parenting impacts more than just the present, b e c a u s e yo u a r e p r e p a r i n g t h e m t o e n t e r ________________ SIDEBAR ON SPANKING from this life. THE BIBLE DOES NOT CONDONE BEATING, INJURING,
HURTING OR HUMILIATING YOUR CHILDREN SPANKING SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE FOR PATIENCE

FOUR OVERLAPPING STAGES OF GROWTH A. ______________________ Stage, 6 mos-2 yrs B. ______________________ Stage, 3-12 yrs C. ______________________ Stage, 13-18 yrs D. ______________________ Stage, 18+ yrs FOUR ITEMS IN THE FIRST DECADE TO DOZEN YEARS 2. Your __________ ______________ 3. Routines, rules and ____________________ 4. Your effective ____________-______________ on promised consequences

In this important series of studies, we will be perfecting our parenting by discovering the biblical principles of child-rearing.

The principles covered in these studies are especially applicable to young couples and single parents. We will be laying out a
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vision and talking about the stages of growth, the types of parents, and the principles of parenting from the Bible