TYPICAL DIFFERENCES IN MALE AND FEMALE STYLES OF COMMUNICATION Women are more likely to talk to other women when

they have a problem or need to make a decision. Men keep their problems to themselves and dont see the point in sharing personal issues. Women are more relationship oriented, and look for commonalities and ways to connect with other women. Men tend to relate to other men on a one-up, one-down basis. Status and dominance is important. Women focus on building rapport, by sharing experiences and asking questions. Men like to tell and give information rather than ask questions. They share experiences as a way of being oneup. If women have a disagreement with each other it affects all aspects of their relationship. Men can have a disagreement, move on to another subject and go get a drink together. Women get things done at work by building relationships. Men build relationships while they are working on tasks with each other. At meetings women nod their head to show they are listening. Men think the woman is agreeing with them. He then assumes the women will go along with his idea. He is surprised when she later disagrees, since she nodded her head. She has no idea why he thought she agreed with him since he never asked her. At meetings, men only nod their heads when they agree. If a women is speaking and she doesnt see his head nod as he listens, she assumes he either disagrees or is not listening. Too often men and women see the differences between each other and make each other wrong, rather than appreciating how they can benefit from those differences. Report versus rapport Deborah Tannen, linguistics professor and author of You Just Dont Understand, believes that men and women differ in the focus, or driving force, behind their communication. According to Tannen, men converse with a focus on achieving social status and avoiding failure, while women focus on achieving personal connection and avoiding social isolation. Men want to report, women want rapport. Not that men dont value involvement or women status, but these arent as important for either. Tannen offers these descriptionssee if any of these fit you and others you know: Women desire intimacy in conversation, to feel connected to others. Men desire to give information while remaining independent of the other party. Women try to avoid the appearance of superiority. Men are comfortable telling others what to do and appearing superior. Women want to reach consensus and consult with others before deciding. Men want to get straight to the bottom line and choose without consulting. Women communicate to build relationships. Men communicate to give information, solve problems and show expertise. Neither focus is better or more correct than the other. Its just the underlying motives that differ. As an example of report versus rapport, a woman, upon hearing bad news from a man, might say, Im sorry to show sympathy. The man, however, might wonder why shes apologizing for something that isnt her fault. She draws closer to connect, he hears her from his focus on status and problem solving. Mars versus Venus Another view on the differences in male and female communication comes from marriage therapist John Gray, PhD, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. While Tannen emphasizes the different driving forces behind conversation in men and women, Gray distinguishes the overall styles of communication in the sexes. Here are some examples Gray provides: Women use more words to make a point and express more feelings. Men use fewer words and express fewer feelings.

Women use conversation to think through a problem and work toward a solution. Men think through a problem privately, then express the solution as the bottom line. Women give feedback with tact, tentativeness and sensitivity to the other persons feelings. Men give feedback directly and with bluntness, without the intention that it should be taken personally. Women often change the topic in the middle of a conversation, then return to it later. Men tend to finish one topic before going on to the next. Once again, neither style is right or wrong, just different. Imagine the frustration of a man listening to his wife or female co-worker think through her problem out loudveering often off the subject then returning to itonly to find that she didnt really want him to solve her problem, but rather to be her sounding board. Imagine her hurt feelings when she senses that hes mad at her but wont tell her how he feels. He says, she says Another expert theory comes from speech pathologist Lillian Glass, PhD, author of He Says, She Says: Closing the Gap Between the Sexes. In her book, Glass lists specific traits that are reported by researchers to differ in male and female communication: Women talk more about relationships. Men talk more about what they did, where they went, etc. Women tend to take verbal rejection more personally than men. Women are more likely than men to ask for help rather than figure things out on their own. Men appear less intuitive and aware of details than women. Women have a more emotional approach to problems. Men have a more analytical approach. Men use fewer voice tones and facial expressions while communicating than women do. Men make more direct statements; theres less beating around the bush with men than with women. Toward understanding In our desire to be understood by others we must acknowledge that differences exist among us all and specifically between the sexes in how we communicate. We can become alert to our differences and work with them, nonjudgmentally, rather than struggle against them. The blend of male and female styles of communication should give us more leverage in solving problems, growing personally and living life.

Ethnography is the scientific study of human social phenomena and communities, through means such as fieldwork. It is considered a branch of cultural anthropology, the branch of anthropology which focuses on the study of human societies. Some people use ethnography and cultural anthropology interchangeably, although cultural anthropology includes more research techniques than just ethnography. The ethnography of communication is an academic field of study that was first conceptualized as a branch of sociolinguistics by researchers during the 1950s and early 1960s. As an academic discipline, the ethnography of communication studies and analyzes how language is used in cultural settings. Originally, this branch of study was actually called the ethnography of speaking, but the term was changed so the field could include studies in both the non-verbal and the non-vocal facets of communication. Most of the studies done in the ethnography of communication, however, tend to be mainly concerned with speaking, because that is regarded as the leading means of communication. As a discipline at least partially based in linguistics, the ethnography of communication takes a somewhat different view of communication and language than do other linguistic theories such as

structuralism or transformational grammar. In contrast with these theories, the ethnography of communication has as a basic premise, or theory, the view that the meaning of a particular expression or vocalization can be understood only in relation to the speech event or culture in which it is embedded. The view of this field is that communication is an uninterrupted flow of information and not an exchange or transmission of disconnected, separate messages. Communications, rather than specific languages, provide the frame of reference for analyzing the place of language in any particular society or culture. Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_cultural_identity#ixzz277lOwWiw