Cam laid down in her room and her mind continuously replayed the words from the phone

call she had received a few hours before. Tonight she had received the news which would change her life forever. Her parents had died in a car accident leaving her to face the world all alone and to be put into foster care for the next two years. After those two years, she would be 18 and considered an adult. She didnt know what to do, where to go, or how to respond to the news. Cam was devastated. Her only family she had ever known was gone. Knowing that someone would be there in the morning to take her to her new home, she slowly made her way down the stairs and into her parents room. She crawled into their bed and closed her eyes. She saw her parents waving her goodbye on her first day of school, her father teaching her to ride a bike, her mother helping her with her algebra homework, and all the family dinners they had spent together over the years. She heard the laughs which were shared between them, the childish screams as they played tag in the backyard, and the long talks they had shared about her future. She breathed in and could smell the faint scent of her mothers perfume and her fathers after shave. The memories played back over and over through her head which gave her a warm feeling inside. Her alarm clock went off and Cam woke up with a jolt. She heard the muffled sound of the radio in the other room and the faint voices from the t.v. she had left on upstairs. She looked around the room and realized where she was and that she wasnt as alone as she had thought herself to be. Her parents were always with her, which gave her a source of comfort. She rolled out of bed, got dressed, and was ready to start another day.

Revise, Edit, Accept STAAR Literary Writing Checklist Score: R E A You need to work on: Organization/Progression Creating a clear theme. Creating a coherent story line. Adequately addressing the prompt. Developing your introduction. Developing your body paragraphs. Developing your conclusion. Details contributing to the effectiveness of the story. Characters, events, and ideas focused and unify the story. Story having a logical progression. Re-arranging ideas/paragraphs/sentences. Eliminating ideas that are not relevant. Ideas Details that are lacking. Need to add more substance to the story. Story is too shallow. Needs to be more thoughtful. Story is boring. Needs to be more engaging Story is too clich . A hundred other writers will write about the same topic. Voice and Word Choice Need more vivid and expressive word choice Word choice is too elementary. Unnecessary repetition. Fluency Using effective sentence forms. Using a variety of sentence structures. Eliminating awkward sentences and/or phrases. Conventions Using accurate spelling. Punctuating correctly throughout your paper. Capitalizing correctly. Sentence structure (run-ons and fragments) Indenting for each paragraph. Making your subjects and verbs agree. Making your pronouns and their antecedents agree.