Why Divorce Cases have increased more at present?

( Part 1)

In earlier days marriages were taking place around 18 year girl and 21 year boy, family was taking responsibility for both of them and joint family tradition were in place. AS boy was not settled and girls were not educated But at present Boy or Girls are taking their education and going for professional carrier and wants to settle before commitment for marriage takes place and in bargain age slab normally crosses between 28 to 35 years by the time they are settled and want person of their caliber. The flexibility to adjustment time is over by that time due to settled in carrier and wants to be independent and due to work pressure, Travel Pressure, Carrier pressure they dont want to change or adjust in different atmosphere. It is more in new marriages happens in first few months or in 12 to 18 months of marriage. Since married girl comes to boys house in different environment, it is very difficult her to adjust in her new environment. That is one of the main reason most of the marriages end up in divorce in first year of marriage. Because to adjust with different family members and cultures and free space is not available. Once she crosses one or two years, she knows how to deal with each of problem and she is more or less settled. In the beginning of married life she needs lot of support from Boy only as he is the known face who is aware of environment for guidance, which has to balance between parents and Wife. If he fails and tilts more towards parents then chances of divorce are more. There are Real problems in few cases abuse, drink and beat the girl for dowry, where Boy is more responsible and their parents but those cases are not more than 10% of cases, in other cases minor issues are there, which can be tackled very easily by discussion between boy and girl or in front of some senior family members. But we just argue and prove I am right.

Presently Support from Girls parents, they always want to know how their child is doing in that family and they want to know minute by minute story of their daughter on mobile and form their own opinion about the situation in boys family, that their daughter is not happy in that family and misguide her and almost force her to take wrong steps which can lead to divorce, because they dont understand the situation and context things moving in boys house. They just form their opinion, before forming some opinion they should put the foot in boys familys shoes. Now a days Girls are educated and were supporting her parents from her salary and giving them good lifestyle, so most of them doesnt want to their daughter to be married, but due to Society pressure they will get their daughter married and create situation ad get her back and brain wash her, just for their lifestyle they spoil the life of that girl and boy, before girl realise, it is too late. This is fact and one of the main reason for divorce, In fact in India boy or girl are never take independent decisions they are just listen others and not applying their minds. As counseling services are not commonly available, as common as this is commonly available in western countries and people afraid to visit cancellers they think they are not balanced one or mentally ill.

Reasons are as follows: 1. Stop communication between boy and girl. (THE MOST IMPORTANT) 2. Never discuss about their problem or opinion, they just wants arguments to prove other person is wrong. 3. Balance in home and professional life. 4. They dont give quality time to each other. 5. Girl or boy is not giving space to each other for adjustment in different environment.. 6. Balance in relationship between parents and bride i.e now boy has to give proper response to girl as she is new in this house, so he has to balance between parents and wife.. 7. Over expectation from each other, like girl wants he should separate from parents and we go and stay separate within few days of marriage and boy expects my wife is super women and she should do all house work and then travel to job and come back and cook the food for family, just like jenny. 8. We must buy big house or car as our neighbors of friends have- wait boss plan first then think about it, dont live in Dream world be practical. 9. Girl wants that She should not cook the food and every day there should be candle light dinner. 10. Late marriage age. i.e. 28-35 after carrier is set in both cases boy or girl. 11. Settled and earning both not dependent on any one. 12. Parents support as girls are earning so they will not be a burden, in fact she is going to support them. 13. Position or status craze. 14. No adjustment from both the sides. 15. Long Travel hours and Long duty hours. 16. Free space is not available. 17. Late marriage and planning of carrier so delay child birth and when you plan around 35 or so then medical complication. 18. Ego clashes. 19. Higher expectations. 20. Equality treatment. 21. Freedom from parents. 22. No responsibility. 23. Pear pressure. 24. Mobile.

Mobile is big Reason : Use carefully now otherwise education of your Kids will suffer, just passing information with relatives may cause major disputes in Family, because you never know the answer you got from your husband /Wife or kids is under what circumstance or situation they are at that point of Time.

Think before you Talk even on Mobile, it may cause biggest misunderstandings between Familys . Specially Kids or in-laws, even Clients and in couple or friends . Use Mobile whenever Necessary and to the point. When you are comfortable you never know the position of other person, whether he is in elevator, in meeting with client, Travelling or Driving, or he is in prayer room or relaxing with family, so he should be comfortable to talk, so we do not know his position or situation he or she is in, we want instant answer the way we want, so every situation needs to be understood. Now a days most of girls or ladies are earning, they just pass the personal information to their parents or brother or sister each and every happening in her personal Life, they are not aware of the circumstances or situations things might have been discussed in Husband/Wife/Kids it has to remain in family only not to be shared with outsiders, i.e. parents/Brothers/ Sisters/Friends Take e.g. (Your Husband might have scolded you because of some reason it cant be shared with your Mother or Sister, they will give you instant suggestion that you come with us we will show him, they will not solve your Problem but break your House, because to suggest anything to anyone is available free till it is not affecting him or her interest, so be careful always keep your Pluses (+) & Minuses (-) of your family with you and among your house only.

TO BE Continue.

You can Send your comments and Suggestions for giving meaningful information to the society.

As I am not an expert on the above subject, but watching the situation in our society and discussion with some experts in this field, some small points were noticed are shared by me. Dont take it personally.