FACTS OF LIFE Everyone should get married some time, after all, happiness is not the only thing

he only thing in life!! Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. another thing, they die earlier. A man without a woman is like a fish without water. Marriage is a three ring circus, Engagement-ring, Wedding-ring, Suffe-ring. When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?" We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, and Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!" If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at him in! A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let Oscar Wilde Sam Kinison

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for H. L. Mencken

mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband." Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent. The prime minister of China called Bush on the 11th Sept after the attack on the Pentagon.... "I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It was a very big tragedy... But in case you're missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything" Saddam Hussein called Bush on the 11th Sept... Saddam: Mr. President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that...It was not us... Bush: What buildings? What people?? What are you talking about?? Saddam: Oh, and what time it is in America right now? Bush: 8.00 in the morning. Saddam: Ooops! Will call back in an hour! Bye Bye.....

It's

Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman says "Yep, thats them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" And Bush says, "We're planning world war 3" And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" And Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Afghans this time and one bicycle repairman." And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!" So Bush turns to Powell and says, See, I told you no-one would worry about the 140 million Afghans!"