Feedback that I left for my peers after reviewing their draft artefacts Sunday Dec 2nd 10pm Tomas

Hi Tomas, Ive listened to both interviews. I found them very interesting. As a listener with no background understanding of who these people are and the full context of their music/ art, it was difficult at first to get a clear perspective. I think when you edit it together you defiantly need to introduce the interviewee with some context. Heres what I picked up. So in the first one, the producer altered their musical genre! Thats such a dramatic change for a producer to make, not just crafting their art but changing it to the point where band members left! It seemed also form the second producer they had, that technical competency and being able to mix helped to define w good producer. So their role becomes one of collaboration and not just guidance. I had always envisaged the producer as the one who sorts the bookings and contracts (financial stuff), books the studio, the gigs etc. Its interesting that they have such an influence on the sound and on the technicality of the recording. It also interesting to consider the developing role of the artist, as they learn from producers and then take on some of those skills. Perhaps another area of exploration, in sharing his skills does the producer devalue or risk making himself redundant? It seems that the role is a mix of managerial and collaboration. I liked the phrase meeting the producer half way, a valuable asset to the group. I thin its a bog job to go through and edit the best bits as the whole interviews will be rather long for a documentary. But I think this should be split between your VO and extracts of the music. It might help to summarise the key points you feel came out of each interview? The second interview was slightly harder to follow for me. The guys voice sounded more distant and he had a much stronger accent which at times i really struggled to understand (My mum is Scottish and my dad Greek and i was brought up in cockney East London, but im rubbish with accents, I blame a childhood around too many accents as the key factor). While the first one sounded like there was more focus on

collaboration, the second one seems less focussed on this. There was clear signs of real conflict in the decisions of the producer. His examples of lyrics being changed is interesting as often the lyrics are key to giving meaning, and to think producers therefore have power to change the intended meaning and therefore the artist value is interesting. He sounds less 'producer' happy, which is a nice contrast to the first one. I think you have a good range of comments from the two to cut together a very effective debate on authorship and collaboration. It will be interesting to listen to once the VO is added and the music. Hope thats helpful Sunday 2nd Dec 8pm Liz Hi Liz, finally had time to feed back. I viewed your clip (which i really liked) but then realised I needed to sit down and read through your blog in order to give you feedback, hence the delay. So here goes... The blog Deconstructing Reality TV What struck me is the idea that after a few seasons the characters become celebrities but their celebrity status is still no issue in the show itself.. Its something that as a viewer ive never thought of. Ive watched lots of these shows and as the seasons go on I tend to stop watching but then the characters are on game shows and other reality programs, as they have now become celebrities. However when you go back to the show there is no reference of Mark Wright (TOWIE) being a host on the spin off of that No Lighty show, or of them attending celebrity events. Considering its supposedly reality, you would think that celebrity events and the changes this has brought to their lifestyle would be mentioned. However this would make them less average in the show and perhaps alienate viewers? Representations of Reality When I first watched your clip, I thought Why are they not talking about their love life. But reading your blog I realized that you made a decision to steer clear of this plot drive with your students. I did however find it the most noticeable difference, as a viewer of the existing shows I see this as a theme which the shows centralise around.

Other features, which so strongly exist in these shows are regional stereotypes and for me, having no idea about the existing stereotypes of Mutley was difficult. In order to make a like for like comparison I felt it was quite hard without the inclusion of relationships. Just because now, my view of these young people is that they are more serious and mature, less into 'relationships' as the youngsters in all the other shows. I wondered if you could include some scripted and fake discussions to bridge this gap? Practicing Practise I remember watching these shows on tv for the first time and criticizing how rigid and badly acted they were. Then when id seen a few I accumulated to the rubbish acting and accepted it as being because they were not acting, they were real people. Its interested how you explore this idea, and i think i your video the feel of the acting is very good, it feels 'real'. Shut Up and Shoot I thought it was interesting to consider your presence and the implications of that. As someone who they know as a teacher, and the impact of this on how they act, which i guess is an added factor in why it was difficult to ask them to talk about relationships and the stuff they would normally discuss. Sunday 2nd Dec 8pm Liz The Video I thought the introductive text, was perfectly worded and if you wanted to add a voce over then thats all you need to say. As Denise Van Outen does with TOWIE. I think the casting is perfect, they definitely have the look of the attractive characters in the existing shows. The topic of conversation with the girls, of shopping bodes well with the genre, where all the women seem consumed with their appearances and looks. As someone who has very little geographical awareness outside of London (appalling I know), and I have no pre existing stereotypes of this region and initially feel that the student angle makes me link academia and education, creating an assumption that these are characters are from a middle class background. I think there accent is also a factor here. I think with the girls cutting to close ups would have been effective.

Especially when the dark haired girl flicks her hair in the beginning. Also it was difficult to hear the boys in their setting and perhaps there were too many of them to prompt that personal conversation which you expect to see taking place. I think as Guy said, you shouldnt be wary of scripting in scenarios and talk around people- gossip. As I feel like is a key factor in the show. Even if the conversation is ambiguous, he really gets on my nerves, but no mention of who he is. Or you had the girl saying, did you see that guy? and then you cut to the guys talking, which suggests its possibly one of those guys? It hard to say much more as its 1 minute and your final will be 5 minutes. Id have liked to have seen some of the establishing shots to help clarify for me the setting. As it stands, it fits elements of the genre well. The casting is very good, and the conversation feels real. I think that the topic of conversations may cause it to isolate itself from the existing shows, but despite that it definitely gives an insight into Mutley. Im really looking forward to seeing the end piece. Sunday Dec 2nd Guy Well done Guy, I really enjoyed your three movies. 1)Do you think that the three films successfully illustrate the changing film production techniques from 1895 1926? Well in production techniques you mean mainly the use of sound? As the footage is the same for all three right? I think this is very clear, and its a nice transitional change to follow. 2) Is Film One (Primitive Cinema) easy to follow? Please give reasons for your answer. I found it hard to follow. Mostly because Im impatient and without any musical prompts or signs, I found myself trying to lip-read. I felt like I expected more animated and exaggerated acting in such a silent movie? But I dont know enough about them to know if this is a far expectation? (Possibly I'm just making connections to Chaplin lol). I did feel that it had a more serious tone without the sound/ dialogue. 3) Do you think that Film One would be easier to understand with a Lecturer explaining the story?

Yes definitely. I feel it would need this as its quite long to watch and try to work out the narrative, especially as there are these conversations taking place and you are in effect guessing what they are saying. If the narrative was purely action, people doing things and not speaking then perhaps the silence wouldnt not matter But as you can see they are talking, if feels like a natural reaction to try and work out what they are saying. I found myself frustrated that I was guessing, I wanted to know for sure. 4) What impact(s) does the introduction of intertitle cards have on your enjoyment and understanding of Film Two? I felt they made a huge difference. I found myself waiting for the next one, almost so I could read the story, which helped me to understand and make sense of the visuals. 5) Does Film Three fill-in any gaps in the narrative? Does Film Three offer greater narrative clarity? For me, without a doubt. I got to understand that the old lady was manipulative and her drunken songs added humour. the soft voice of the women made me feel sorry for her, and the very tall you, with your stern voice came in and saved the day. Then again i suppose so knew this, so thats not gaps, more detailed characterisation, whihc did make it clearer. 6) Do you think that piano music would add to the dramatic tension of the three films? I think music would add tension to the first two, allowing the audience to know where the heights of the tension lie. 7) Which film do you find most enjoyable to watch? Which do you find least enjoyable to watch? Please give reasons for your answer. Film three most, because I was able to follow the emotions of the characters, their voices brought them to life. The drunk lady, and the worried mother. Film One because I had to concentrate so much and wasnt able to sit back and be entertained instead it was like a puzzle. 8) Do you think that the three films achieve my aims for my CMED2 project? My project aims are to investigate and illustrate the shifting production techniques and modes of narration (storytelling) employed by early film-makers? Yes, the changes are very evident. Although I wonder if you was

showing all three of the clips in sequence, are they longer than they need to be? To allow you to make a clearer comparison. 9) What improvements would you make? -introduce music/ piano (as you said) - perhaps a change of camerawork over the different periods? change in speed of editing ? - I wondered if you changed the voices what impact would this have. If the mother had a harsh tone and the old hag was soft and sweet? (Not possibly now youve filmed, but just a thought) 10) I thought your acting was very good, although you do have your back to the camera in the last scene Sunday 2nd Dec 7pm Jude Which overall page (if any) works best? Why? I have looked them over a few times and I think working the best can be interpreted two way. While I feel the inclusion of the boy definitely makes the dance one an image which challenges the stereotypes of the princess, Im not sure it would actually be the one that worked best with the audience. So the dance one I feel would defiantly work best in terms of challenging the princess theme, but I think that even today its still an idea which isnt so much about the exclusion of boys, but is more about the repeated portrayal of women in a particular way. For instance I think if girls who are influenced by the 'princess stereotype' and want to be princess, view this, they may think, oh a boy. But his image wouldnt bother them, as its not an image that reflects them, instead its a boy. Whereas when they see the princess they have idealized and dressed up as in a different way it could challenge their view that all the princess have to wear ball gowns and wait to be saved by a man etc. So the dance image may challenge their view of boys, but not of themselves, in my opinion making it less effective (I think). i think that the front cover works best in terms of having an impact, as it has the images which would make the audience question their view of that character/ image. But if you mean works best as in - fits the current market/ magazine, then probably the subtle changes on the certificate

would work best. Are the subtle changes (e.g. the changes made to the princesses on the certificate) or the very obvious changes (e.g. the changes made on the front cover) work best? Why? I agree that the subtle change work well as they seem more natural, its like the princess have had a gradual makeover, the more drastic changes make them seem rebellious and they then lose a little bit of who the audience think they are, which could possibly alienate the audience. But that said i watched 'Rise of the Guardians' at the cinema today with the boys in which Santa has a Russian/ Eastern European accent and is a heavily tattooed, quite hard character. Amongst his heavily tattooed arms, he has naughty on one arm and nice on the other. So maybe there is a place for a tattooed princess? Which overall page (if any) doesnt seem to work? Why? When you say 'doesn't work' i think are referring to what wouldn't fit in that market, that magazine. Although I love it, i think its the front cover as it has the boldest and most dramatic changes. Its such a big statement- Snow White with her tattoos, the masculine job roles and costume changes. While i think these changes such as costume, the job roles etc are effective, they stand out against the princess' existing posing and gazing, which we as an audience automatically link with ball gowns and tiaras. What do you think the response of the audience demographic (young girls) would be to the subversive magazine (my artefact)? e.g. Do you think it would sell? Well i think it would be interesting. Im sure it would be that 'thats not what princess' do' and id expect they would feel that the changes had been intrusive. i think for girls into the princess theme, the front cover might cause some concern, but the certificate i think perhaps less. Which image/phrase stands out to you? Why? The sleeping beauty and the boiler suit, Snow white and the tattoos- these changes completely flip what these characters stand for. sleeping beauty as her name suggest sleeps and does not work, and then is rescued by a man. Snow white is is delicate and fragile woman. The changes you made have changed who they are. Bringing new values to these characters of strength, power,

and independence. Extra... I think you are looking at a very specific age group here, as young girls do eventually grow out of this princess syndrome. Ironically, giving the sexualisation of them, its normally affiliated to very young girls. I remember talking with Liz about her daughters experience. My niece went through a stage of 'princess syndrome', everything was pink and she wore her dressing up gowns everywhere, she wanted to grow up and get married. But then she went the opposite at age 9 and hated pink, loved blue and shunned everything princess. Tuesday Nov 27th Vanessa 1. Does the theory (Goffman) link successfully to the practice (Creative constructions of Identity)? Yes definitely. As you discuss things like the strange idea of explaining things that the people who you will friend already know, it really brings together the theory and the practice of being on a social network. 2. Is it clear at which point within the tool where discussion should take place? I found myself saying, id pause there and talk about this When you went through the fact that we make such precise and carefully thought decisions about how we represent ourselves on social media, I thought that could start an interesting dialogue with kids. Your thoughts on the first thing you would write could prompt talk on how we select labels and titles for ourselves which we feel positively reflect our life. There is a lot of discussion to be had about the role of selection and how this identity we create is selectively driven, and unexposed in some ways, in that we can limit what we say, and yet it was clear you felt exposed each time you added information. Maybe the feeling of exposure is one that is felt more by less digital users than the kids who are growing up with facebook. They do not think twice about saying something or posting something. As adults we think about the consequences more. 3. If you teach A2 Media Studies does the artefact work as an

introduction into Identity and Facebook? Without a doubt this would be a great way to introduce the idea of how we create an identity as I feel they quite often lack that understanding and just see social media as being a mirror of them. They are very nave about the creation element. Although I wonder if as its from the view of an adult, they will find that an abstract experience? As in- for them facebook and the social media world are not all that daunting. But I feel it will give them an insight into how perhaps us digital immigrants have approached social media and will help to reflect on that? Maybe it could be a may of even prompting discussion on reception theory and how the other generation receive social media with reservations whereas the younger ones have such naivety. 4. Is it too long? Not really. Its long but there is not anything id say take out. You could definitely teach a whole lesson from this, stopping to discuss along the way. 5. Do the cartoons clarify some of the quotes as intended? Yes, I like them There is a nice mix of cartoon, the facebook profiles and you 6. Do you feel the language and register is correct for A2 students? Yes, because its conversational so in that way perfect. I like the way you are talking over your shoulder to the camera, its like your talking to us and we are watching you do this new thing and join social media. 7. Which aspects do you feel could be improved? At first I thought- Where in the focus group are you? Its strange seeing you first as it feels like its going to be about your story and then a list of other people, but as it goes on you realize its like a parallel edit of your journey of creating a profile and a exploration of their existing profiles. So the thing that at first confused me, I think, makes it interesting, I found myself paying more attention to see how far you get with your profile creation. Also an editing thing, I dont know if my eyesight is blurred from being so tired or if the lip syncing is slightly out when your talking?

Not sure if im just seeing it slower than it is. Anyway, I love it! Its real, in that we follow you creating your identity. It really made me think about my facebook and one of the things I hate about it is how I feel like I am always being judged on it. In real life I can be a slightly different person, when im with my family, with friends I grew up with or at work. Now I have friends from all those categories on my facebook and I so often stop myself from saying something or liking something as it may effect the way they see me. Your video identity prompts some serious reflection into my own online identity.

QUESTION: How did you upload such a long video to youtube. My upload currently says 1377 minutes!!!! Ive compressed the quality to 30%, is that what you did? Yours doesnt doesnt look low quality? Tuesday Nov 27th Dina Hi Dina, Hope your well I really liked your video, particularly the mix of 'media texts' and the very personal footage of yourself. If brought together the idea of media possibly impacting on peoples real life. 1- What is the message that you get or feel from watching this film? It feels like a motivational, inspiring message about how media and interactions can encourage children to follow their dreams. I completely agree that quiet often animation, especially for young children, can evoke a creative response and can be a source of inspiration. You mention animation at the beginning and then its not mentioned again so I wasnt sure if animation as a stimulus for creative practice was a key factor. Or is it the collaboration of different media, such as all the positive image of horses and riding that inspired you? I went back and paused the first quote- which was clearly linked. I think this message of this quote was lost the first time so perhaps this needs to be paused?

2- Can you use this kind of presenting in your work or in an educational use? I think I could use this when getting media students to consider the uses and gratification theory, the idea that we use the media we consume to gain a sense of the person we want to become, to help shape our identity. I think it would be a good discussion point to prompt feedback on media which has evoked a response from them in their life. In addition the you can achieve anything feel would be encouraging for students. At first I thought perhaps it would be suited or a younger audience, but as you said, young children already believe they can do anything. It is sadly as we grow older that we lose this motivation and belief. 3- What do you think would be better to do to enhance this work? I think that you should make links between the clips and the theory a bit more. But it depends on who your audience is. As it stands this would be well understood by a non-media teacher or individual. I had this image in my head of almost like an equation- childhood animation+ adult consumption = motivation to fulfill a dream. 4-Can you kindly add your comment and feedback about this work? I think the soundtrack is perfect, and carried through the idea of childhood dreams. Ive watched it three times now and each time I like it more, as I think the message sinks in. Perhaps at the point where you summarise you could have some of the key vocabulary which you feel brought you to that point- interaction collaboration? Its a very optimistic video, but is this everyone reality? What about social differences? If I showed this to my students, students from struggling working class inner city families they would most definitely point out the political and financial barriers which they feel stand in the way of their dreams. 5-Can you rate it out of 10 ?

9. I really enjoyed it. I could use it to teach with, although I think id have to pause at times to focus on the theory and discuss. (but this is actually what I do with anything I show them) 30th Nov Richard 25 abstract 15 narrative - What is your level of gaming experience? Well I dont really play games. Sometimes I am forced to play Mario and sonic at the Olympic games and I do play wii dance with my niece, but thats about it. I would say I am in the limited category (if there is one). - How would you compare the 2 games (similarities and differences) At first I was going to message you and ask what gameplay meant, but once I played them both I got it, the game is the samethings fall and you catch them. However strangely I felt that they were very much like different games. With the first one I started to feel a bit mesmerized by the balls, and found myself going into a absent train of thought. I was literally just watching the balls and trying to catch them, and thinking about nothing else. It was like these coloured balls prompted no thoughts from me. But I was concentrating. Then with the second game I got rather excited at Lenny the lifeguard and his predicament of people trying to drown themselves (this made me giggle), and I was so sure I had scored better on this game. I was thinking how much Lenny reminded me of Alex the Kid, a game I played on megadrive when I was young. Then I was listening to all the different noise and sounds, I particularly liked the baby crying and found myself trying to rescue them the most. So what was similar, well the action of chasing and catching the falling things- the gameplay. I think there were more differences, the personal connection with Lenny the Lifeguard, the sense of relating it to a real life scenario. I preferred to variation of noises as it made the falling things have different meaning. The sound in the first one almost put me in a trance. I dont like cats so I tried not to save them.

- How would you classify each of these games? Im not sure what classifications you mean? Do you want a good, ok, bad rating? Or are you talking about age classification? - Which is your preferred game and why? Narrative without a doubt, I am even going to re-play to see if I can save everyone. It feels more personal because there are creatures and people in it. I like the sounds better and the idea of Lenny saving people give it purpose which makes it for me, more worthy. (Which is crazy as they are effectively the same, and I scored higher on the abstract!) - What do you think of the story element within the second game? This is so interesting, because when you said narrative I assumed that the second one would be a different gameplay, more of a journey or a quest. But just the addition of characters and scenario gave it a narrative, which as a player you immediately feel part of. Although I guess it was a quest- to save all the suicidal babies and animals. I felt quite sad when I couldnt save some of the creatures. - Have you found one of the games more difficult than the other? If yes, what makes the game more difficult? Well I thought id scored higher in the second one, but I didnt! But in hindsight I didnt pay any attention to the points rating of the different coloured balls or the things in the second one. As a limited gamer, I was concentrating on the controls as I tried to play it twice assuming you used the arrow keys and then I finally read the instructions. So maybe my lack of attention to the points rating hindered my score? I felt that the catching was equally difficult in both games, however I perhaps concentrated more in the first one? Sunday Dec 2nd 6.30pm Richard Just had to add that my issue with the calculations, which were as you pointed out due to me not realising that the crocodile was minus 5 points, were today clarified to me by my 6 year old son! He played it and scored 44 on the abstract game and 70 on the narrative. When i asked him how he did so well, he just said 'you have to avoid the crocodiles, they are minus 5 points'. He didn't even read the instructions but had noticed the tally of points while playing and caught a glimpse of a deduction and worked it out!

ZAC 6, said I like the people one, because its a little but slower, the water slows them down. I dont like the other game, its too fast and the balls keep on going down I like being the person who saves the people, but I dont save the crocodile or the face as that loses you points Thought you might like to the scores of some other gamers who tested your games. JOSH 9 years old 48 abstract: 'too fast, didnt like it, found it hard' 82: narrative: 'really enjoyed it, good speed, think everyone will enjoy it. I just liked the way you get to save some people and not save others They were all different' because it had people in it, it was better. This game is bare sick, which in fact translates to to 'this game is really good' MY DAD aged 59 (who just had to get involved) abstract 39 narrative 53 'Its seems purposeful, rather than catch a stodge, youd rather catch people and creatures. The ball game initially reminded me of my youth and seems fun, but felt meaningless when compared to the second one.' i thought it was interesting that both the boys, who despite my reservations have ended up being huge gamers, felt sure that there was a difference in the speed of the games. They felt this was why the first one was harder. But i don't think there is, is there? As gamers they seemed to expect that there would be some you let drown, whereas i assumed the aim was to save everyone. Josh in fact said it wouldn't be fun if you just saved everyone (not sure what that says about my 9 year old lol). But i definitely felt there was this expectation of death of 'baddies' in the narrative of a game, someone loses a life, someone dies. I said to them there is no difference in speed. But Zac was adamant that the water made them slow down! Its like the narrative elements gave fuel to his idea that water slows you down. Then i started thinking 'is he right?'.

Interesting! Ill let them play again, as they now love your game, and see what happens with Michael Gove. I heard them telling a friend about your game, and they asked me, "Mum where can Freddy get that game?" lol, i had to tell them its an exclusive download just for us.