Ray Gun Revival Magazine, Issue 50

Issue 50 January 2009
Pg. 2
Ray Gun Revival 2
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Table of Contents
Overlords’ Lair
Science Fiction - The Perfect Gift
Table of Contents 4 The Silver Dollar Saucer
Overlords (Founders / Editors) by Lou Antonelli
Johne Cook, L. S. King, Paul Christian Glenn 12 Susie Earthshine, Space Substitute
by Jeff Schnaufer
Venerable Staff 17 Terror Ride to Work
A.M. Stickel - Managing Copyeditor by Robert Evans
Matthew Winslow - Book Reviews Editor 23 No Remorse
Shannon McNear - Lord High Advisor, grammar consultant, listening
ear/sanity saver for Overlord Lee by George S. Walker
Paul Christian Glenn - PR, Film Reviews Editor, Executive Tiebreaker 31 The Taming of the Shill
L. S. King - Lord High Editor, proofreader, beloved nag, muse, A Dean the Space Rogue story
webmistress by Andy Heizeler
Johne Cook - art wrangler, desktop publishing, chief cook and bottle 37 RGR Reviews - Book Reviews
washer Matthew Winslow, Reviews Editor
41 Featured Artist - Inga Nielsen
Slushmasters (Submissions Editors) 46 Calamity’s Child Chapter Six, Rites of Passage
John M. Whalen Dante’s Fourth, by Gaslight, Part One
Alice M. Roelke
Jenn Silva by M. Keaton
Martin Turton 56 Thieves’ Honor Episode Five: The Game - Shooter
David Wilhelms by Keanan Brand
Serial Authors
66 Deuces Wild, Season Two
M Keaton Chapter 7: Suicide Run, Part Two
Keanan Brand by L. S. King
L. S. King 72 This Raygun for Hire The Great Author Affair
John M. Whalen by John M. Whalen
Cover Art 81 The RGR Time Capsule
“Cold Fire” by Inga Nielsen, Germany December 2008
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Rev: 200901B
Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009
Merry Christmas, 2008 Pg. 3
Overlords’ Lair
Science Fiction - The Perfect Gift
This is our 50th issue of Ray Gun Revival everything and made for a memorable year not interested in reading or science fiction,
magazine. Thank you for being a part of this for all of us. knew this was a meaningful experience for
grand experiment to revitalize a venerable Cory Doctorow embarked on a world-wide me, and acted accordingly. It was amazing!
genre for a new generation of readers! On tour in support of the book, and I had I’ve been working on introducing the pleasure
with the editorial! occasion to go see him at a reading at Harry and utility of reading to my son since he was
J anuary can be a brutal month. Post-
Christmas, post-New Year, it is a time when
the day-to-day life resumes after a delightful
W. Schwartz, a charming bookstore in the
Milwaukee area. Cory read a section of his
book, engaged in a lively Q and A, and then
in the first grade in school. It has just now
paid off, but has paid off big. Since Christmas,
he’s been reading science fiction on his own
period of other-activity. However, it is also a autographed books. I had a brainstorm and for pleasure, pounding through five books in
time when the we have a new year to put asked Cory to autograph the book to my two weeks. I couldn’t be prouder of him.
our own unique imprint upon, and ours has son’s gaming handle. While I was there, Cory 2009 is looking like a difficult year. I already
been shaped by things that happened at was gracious enough to pose with me for a know that changes around here are likely.
Christmas. picture. However, the language of science fiction is
For me and mine, it was our best Christmas At least two cool things came out of that the language of discovery, hard work, and
ever. We restricted ourselves to one gift each, experience—my son eventually picked up (if you’ll permit me a slightly corny word)
and made them count. I’ve said for years that the book autographed to him, and it opened fellowship. I think we need this release of
I don’t want to be asked what I’d like for a his eyes to the wide world of science fiction. fiction now more than ever, and Ray Gun
gift. I prefer people to want to know me well And I got this great picture of the occasion, Revival is committed to do whatever it takes
enough to know what I’d like even if I hadn’t which I happily showed to, well, everyone. to continue bringing you the best space
asked for something specifically. If I want My wife, a very crafty woman, blew the opera and golden age sci-fi that we can. This
something specific, I’ll likely get it myself. But picture up and made a custom matte for it is a language in which we are fluent, and it is
the real magic comes when somebody cares and framed it. The matte contains hundreds our great honor and joy to continue to share
enough about you to dig into your interests of thinly-cut brightly-colored pieces of works that may help introduce the pleasure
and surprise you with something that you’d construction paper. The end result looks like a of reading to others.
totally love without having asked for it. stained glass window, hand-crafted with love, Bring it on!
For us this year, the special things involved very cool. It’s exactly the kind of thoughtful
author Cory Doctorow and his book Little gesture that I never would have thought to Johne Cook
Brother. It was the first book I’d felt compelled ask for, and yet so perfectly matched my Overlord
to read through from cover-to-cover in one interests. The whole thing cost her about ten Breezeway, WI USA
sitting in years. I tried to interest my fourteen bucks and maybe twenty hours of painstaking January, 2009
year old son in the book without any progress, activity. But it was the thought more than
but then something happened that changed anything that touched me. My wife, who is

The Silver Dollar Saucer
by Lou Antonelli Pg. 4

by Lou Antonelli
C hance McMurphy and Cisco McAtee would

have been hanged from the nearest tree—if
there had been one between Sanderson and
Cisco sat up when he saw the glow on the
horizon.
but couldn’t catch him until he stumbled over
a rock.
the Mexican border. “Thank God,” he muttered. The sun was “What the hell’s got into you?” he hissed.
coming up and they’d get some warmth.
They had robbed the Fort Davis stage just “Demons, demons.” Cisco almost sobbed.
outside the West Texas town. It wouldn’t have Chance opened his eyes and then jumped “There’s demons down there.”
been so bad, but there was an undercover up. “Jesus, that glow’s in the south!”
Chance would have thought Cisco had
Pinkerton man on board who decided to act Cisco scrambled out of his sleeping kit. gone loco, but he could see the terror in his
like a hero. Chance was right. eyes.
They had originally planned to head to They both scrambled to the highest part of Both men then noticed the glow behind
Laredo after the robbery—where they had the rocks. Sure enough, just over a rise in the them was growing brighter. Chance turned to
accomplices who would help them dispose of desert, there was a yellow glow. look without letting go of Cisco’s collar.
their saddlebags full of Double Eagles.
Now the pair had both worked as scouts The glow went from yellowish to bright
After leaving the detective dead in the during the Indian Wars, and—in a decision they white, and then in the glare they saw some
dust, their plans changed. They made straight were later to supremely regret—they decided kind of craft come up out of the hollow and
for Mexico. “Things are fixin’ to get real hot to see what was making that glow. It might be swoop over the dune towards them.
real fast,” said Chance as they spurred their the campfire of a posse on their trail.
horses due south. Chance let go of Cisco and pulled out both
Chance let Cisco take the lead as the smaller his six guns. He began to shoot at whatever
“Let’s get to the damn border first,” he and more nimble of the pair. After skulking, was coming at them.
added, “and worry about where we’re going and then crouching, and then crawling, Cisco
later.” Cisco turned and ran like a rabbit as Chance
pulled himself up to a clump of buffalo grass
and propped himself up on his elbows. He unloaded. He heard a sound like a rising wind,
Cisco just nodded.
looked over the sand dune. as whatever it was reached Chance—who let
By nightfall, they made it to some rocks on out with a loud grunt followed by a dull thud.
the edge of the desert, halfway to the border Chance heard Cisco suck in his breath like
he had been punched in the gut. In a moment, whatever it was reached him,
in the foothills of the Davis Mountains and he passed out in a white haze.
They bedded down with no campfire, in Cisco flopped over and then rolled a few
case they were followed. For dinner they times before scrambling to his feet and heading #
chewed on some jerky. in the opposite direction in a spray of sand.
When he woke up, Chance realized he
The pink quartz outcropping cooled quickly Chance had been prone ten feet behind was in a pungent and dark room. He looked
after sunset, and they slept fitfully in the cold. him. He jumped up and chased his colleague, over towards a door. Light was coming from

beneath a curtain. He sniffed the air a few The curtain in the doorway was pulled back. “Guess so,” said Chance, looking over at
times and recognized the unmistakable stench Chance winced as the sunlight fell on his face. Cisco.
of his companion—the ever-present aroma of
bacon, tobacco, and sweat. “I see my new friends are beginning to #
revive.”
He saw Cisco asleep on some kind of low
A six-foot tall man who also happened to The light was dim from beneath the curtain
platform across the room.
be six feet wide waddled into the room. in the doorway by the time Chance felt strong
He tried to prop himself up on an elbow, enough to swing his legs over the edge of the
but he ached all over and his muscles were He was carrying a water jug and basin in platform and take a few steps.
unstrung. one hand, and a basket with fruit in the other.
Towels were draped over one arm; the other Cisco was against the far wall.
He thoughtfully scratched the yellow was bare up to the elbow and displayed dark “You okay, Chance?” He called out quietly.
stubble on his chin. blue tattoos that would have made a cannibal
proud. “I reckon.” Chance reached down and
“I’m as weak as a kitten,” he murmured to grabbed a fruit from the basket. It was a red
himself. He shambled over to Chance and placed pear-like fruit, and he devoured it in three
the basket of fruit on a low wicker table. He
Cisco grunted. bites.
placed the basin and jug by Cisco.
“Cisco! Hey, Cis!” Chance hissed. “Come “Damn, that’s good!” He went over to where
“I know my fellow humans are still too weak
to!” Cisco lay and drank from the pitcher.
to arise or eat yet, but you will soon regain
He heard a few moans from his companion, your strength,” he said. “I’ll leave these here Cisco was shifting around, so Chance helped
for now.” him sit up.
whose eyes began to open.
Chance winced at being called a human. It Cisco shook his head to clear the cobwebs.
Chance called out to him again, and Cisco didn’t sound right. The large man continued. “I wonder what happened to our bags?”
turned his head. “My name is Tor. I’m outside if you need
“Are we in Hell?” asked Cisco. anything.” “Whoever bushwhacked us must have took
them,” said Chance. “I reckon we need to lay
“Not unless Hell’s got fleas and shit,” said He turned and began to shamble off. low for a while. We’re lucky to be alive.”
Chance, wrinkling his nose. “I think we’ve been Chance cleared his dry throat. Tor came through the door, an oil lamp in
shanghaied.”
hand. He smiled at the desperadoes.
“Hey, hombre, what are we in for?”
“Serves us right,” moaned Cisco.
“Good evening, my friends. Your timing is
Tor half-turned and knitted his brow as he
“Anything beats dancing at the end of a impeccable. I was just closing up my shop.”
thought a second before answering.
rope,” said Chance. “How do you feel?”
Chance realized—by the baskets and
“Like I’ve been rode hard and put up wet,” the“You’re in for being in the wrong place at pots and various—that lined the walls of the
said Cisco. “I don’t think I can move a toe in continued out andhe
wrong time,” said with a sly smile. He room—that Tor was some kind of merchant.
the curtain flapped behind
my boot.” him. “What kind of business are you in, mister?”

Tor smiled widely, showing a disconcerting “These were our horses?” Tor sat back down. “Earth is not on the
array of peg-like teeth. official star charts any more. Terrans once
“Yes, well, the traders wouldn’t waste any sailed to the stars, but their empire fell after a
“Oh, I just help outfit some of the traders care on pack animals. They died during decel- great war and their society collapsed. Earth is
who pass through.” eration at the end of the trip.” formally off-limits—but there are brigands and
Chance didn’t understand that, but he traders who stop there for supplies and provi-
Cisco hopped off his platform. “On the way sions.”
to Nevada?” focused on one thing.
“You call them angels or demons.” He smiled
Thousands of people had been heading to “Trip. Trip to where?” again. “They’re just people from other worlds.
the Comstock Lode.
“To here, of course.” Tor waved a skewer as You came upon a group of traders extracting
Tor chuckled in a way that didn’t reassure he pointed skyward. The pair looked up. silicon from the sand. They needed to repair
either man. He didn’t answer, but held the the shielding of their antimatter drive.”
curtain in the door aside. Cisco looked up until he fell back and off his
bench. Chance just stared, pop-eyed. Ymilas Chance looked at Tor with a totally puzzled
The delicious smell of roasting meat began sits much closer to the center of the galaxy expression.
to waft through. than Earth, so its sky that much more full of “They set themselves down in a most
stars. The spectacular tapestry of lights—along
“May I invite you to dinner?” desolate place,” continued Tor, “but you still
with its trio of irregularly-shaped moons—left found them.”
the two Texans speechless for some time.
He gestured, and the two Texans walked
outside. “We were on the run ourselves,” said Cisco
Cisco was still lying on his back when weakly as he began to pick himself up.
Chance finally spoke up.
It was obvious there were in some kind of
bazaar. Flickering lights and dark shadows were “That was simple enough for the traders to
“Where are we?” he asked in a voice he
scattered among a myriad of shops and stalls. deduce,” said Tor. “Why else would you be so
hadn’t used since Sunday school twenty years far away from any settlements—and carrying
earlier.
Both Chance and Cisco saw meat roasting such a large amount of metallic gold?”
in a simple clay pit. Tor gestured for them to sit Tor laid his hands on his belly in a rather
on some rough benches. Chance began to speak, but Tor held up a
self-satisfied way. “This world is called Ymilas. chubby hand to stop him.
It’s just another ball in the sky—much like
He waddled over to the fire and then Earth.” “They took your gold, of course,” he said.
brought back two wooden skewers with sizzling
meat. He held them out with both hands. “But they felt it would be unfair to kill you after
Cisco’s voice came from beneath them. receiving such a bounty. So they sedated you
Each man grabbed one and began to eat. “We have been shanghaied!” and tossed both yourselves and your animals
into their hold.”
“No charge for the meal. These were your Tor staggered to his feet and looked down
animals. I’m sorry they didn’t survive the trip.” at the supine stage robber. At the mention of the animals, Cisco—who
was now back on his bench—looked over
Cisco swallowed hard while Chance stopped “Yes, and to another world completely!” he woefully towards the fire pit before looking
chewing and spit out his mouthful. said with a wide grin back at Chance, who just shrugged back.

“Very well,” said Chance. “Why are we here, as Tor went back into the shop. Chance gave As it turned out, they quickly made them-
with you?” a little shrug and began to gnaw again on his selves very handy around Tor’s shop. The work
skewer. was simple, and Tor was happy to have some
“The traders simply dropped you off at their human help.
next stop, which happened to be here in Ymilas, Cisco went over to the fire pit and picked up
and offered you for sale to whoever happened a fresh skewer. He began to nibble and looked He didn’t have to think twice when he gave
to be interested. I was.” hard at Chance. them commands. He’d had slaves before of
all different species. For example, he said, he
Both men’s eyes got large. “We’re slaves Chance nodded. “Don’t worry,” he said. once had an assistant that was a member of
now?” asked Chance. “I’m thinking.” an insectoid race, the Kammerer. If you asked
it to pick up something, it would stand there
“Yes, you are.” Tor rose and tapped Chance # confused until you indicated whether it was to
on the shoulder as he shambled over to the fire use a limb, antenna or tail.
pit. “But I assure you I’m a kindly master. I’m Tor’s accommodations for the pair were
grateful to have some human workers. That’s Tor gradually opened up with the pair. He
grimy but comfortable. Cisco made Chance
why I bought you.” explained his girth was a result of growing up
laugh when he reminded them of the room
they slept in one night over a cantina in Agua on a world twice the size of Earth, with the
He sat back down and began to gnaw on
Punte. resulting gravity. He had come to Ymilas as the
another skewer of roast horseflesh. “As you manager of a caravanserai for a native trade
can see, I am human. My ancestors were a “This is a whole lot better!” Chance agreed. lord—a post that, unfortunately, required he
people called Hebrews. They were slaves, also, become a eunuch.
but were granted their freedom. They were on It was just after sunrise the next day when
their way back to their homeland when—like Tor showed them their duties at his shop. The When the trade route was attacked and
you—they unfortunately stumbled on some Ymilan souk quickly filled with hundreds of taken over, and his lord killed, he escaped and
star traders in the desert and were all taken traders representing dozens of species. found his way to the nearest crossroads—which
captive.” happened to be a Ymilan city called Bardoth.
“Its a vision of hell,” muttered Cisco.
“My God, the Lost Tribes of Israel,” sputtered There, with the small amount of money he
Chance. “At least we’re alive,” said Chance. had carried with him, he bought the rundown
shop.
“Yes, exactly. It’s nice to know they haven’t “When do we bolt?” asked Cisco.
been forgotten,” said Tor. All the trading in the souk was done in
Chance looked at his old friend in bullion coins. One day, while the trio were
“How do we get back home?” asked Cisco. amazement. “Bolt? To where?” eating of midday meal—which consisted of
“You don’t,” said Tor. “If my people haven’t Chance nodded towards Tor. “Just do what some Terran-style wine washed down with the
made it back in over 3,000 years, you two the fat man says, keep you mouth shut and your last of the dried horse meat—Chance noticed a
certainly won’t.” bowels open, and we may figger something trader walking through the souk shuffling shiny
out—later.” coins in both hands.
He waved a hand in front of his face to
indicate the subject was closed, and he rose. Cisco looked around meekly. He knew “I reckon,” Chance said to Tor and Cisco as
Chance was right. he looked towards the trader, “the fellow’s that
Chance and Cisco looked at each other got our gold made quite a killing.”

“Not quite as good as you would imagine,” money in your trousers?” and the goods grew larger.
said Tor, who took a swig of the strong red
wine before he continued. “Gold is certainly “Heck no, I was wearing denims with no Chance stopped in front of a lot with a
valuable, but it’s not our most precious metal.” pockets. What’s that got to do with anything?” crude metal fence. Inside were a half dozen
metal contraptions of all different designs and
Cisco looked at Chance. He knew he was “I had a pocketful of change—a buck and sizes.
up to something. seventy-five cents. I still have it.”
A trader came forward, and Chance pointed
Tor grunted and nodded. “There are some “What are you planning to do with a buck to a shiny machine that was perhaps fifty feet
Earth metals that are quite valuable here. Tin is seventy-five?” wide. It looked like a plump discus.
one. And Argentum is very, very valuable.” “I think I got more than a buck seventy- Cisco looked at the machine. He had seen
“Argentum?” asked Chance, scratching five. Remember, Tor said silver is the most many strange things in the time they had been
behind an ear. valuable metal on this world. I have three silver on Ymilas, but he had never seen anything like
pieces—a silver dollar, half dollar and quarter that.
“Yes, though I think where you come from, dollar.
they call it silver.” Cisco saw Chance make the universally
He heard Cisco grunt. “Still, what could you recognized gesture that said he wanted to
Tor rose and went over to grab another buy with that?” bargain.
piece of horse jerky from a basket on the rough
wooden table. “It’s an excellent conductor of Chance rolled over. “We’ll see.” The Ymilan began to shout and wave his
electricity, plus it’s very malleable.” hands. Cisco could see the Ymilan wave four of
# his six fingers.
He took a bite as he looked at Chance. “The
native Ymilans also find any metal that takes a As he had said at first, Tor was a kindly Chance went after it in good form—he’d
high shine very desirable. One of their religions master. He often gave the pair time to explore picked up a lot of the Ymilan trading lingo in a
is to worship their sun, and they feel any metal Bardoth. half year. He held up a single digit.
that reflects sunlight so well will bring great
luck and prosperity to the bearer.” Humans weren’t uncommon on Ymilas—a Cisco smiled because it was the middle
number of traders and shopkeepers were finger he was waving—a meaningless gesture
Tor smacked his hands loose of the crumbs descendants of Lost Hebrews and Atlantean on Ymilas.
of meat. It was time to get back to work. space colonists. After maybe five minutes of shouting and
That night Cisco tossed a loud “pssst!” in One day, when they had some extra time waving, the Ymilan was waving three digits.
Chance’s direction. off, Chance took them in a direction they had Chance was still shouting but eventually went
up to two fingers.
“Cis? What you want?” he answered in the never been before.
dark. Cisco didn’t even ask where they were The shouting went on for a while longer,
and then suddenly the Ymilan spat in his palm
“What was all that talk today about valuable jostlingbut
going, just followed Chance through the
crowd. and rushed over to Chance, who struck the
metals?” palm with his fist.
After a while the crowds thinned. They
“When you got here, did you have any were Chance gave the Ymilan the silver dollar.
on the outskirts of the city. Both the stall

The Ymilan made a gesture of thanks. “Huh?” The pair reclined as they snapped on all
the buckles and clamps. Chance pulled a lever
Chance then handed over the half dollar. “Is there anything you need to take with that closed the hatch and then showed Cisco a
The Ymilan gave thanks again. you?” plunger that activated the homing device.
Chance waved at Cisco, who been hanging Cisco ran his fingers through his curly dark Once the hatch was closed, the interior
back watching the proceedings. hair. “Guess not.” smelled musty. “I hope this wagon holds
together,” muttered Cisco as he looked around.
“That the hell is going on?” he asked. There was a braying sound, and the pair “If it came from Atlantis, it’s pretty old.”
looked to see an eight-legged draft animal
“We just got us a ride home,” said Chance. advancing to the craft. A dwarf tied a rope to “Cis, I don’t want to grow old and die here.
the saucer and began to tow it away. I want to go home—or die trying. What about
“Huh?”
“The fellow who sold me the ship is towing you?”
Chance walked over to the saucer-shaped it to where we can launch it.” Cisco thought real hard, and nodded.
craft and pushed on a panel. A door flipped
upwards. “Wait, how do we run the thing?” “Ready?”
Chance stuck his head inside, and a moment “It’s a rescue ship, its clockwork is designed Cisco nodded again.
later Cisco crowded next to him. to take you back to Earth on its own, once you
set the gears spinning.” Chance pushed the red plunger.
“This here’s a kind of lifeboat, and it happens
to come from Earth,” said Chance. “It’s left over The pair trudged along. “I bought the ship Outside, the anti-grav buffer hummed into
from the great Atlantis.” with the dollar,” said Chance. “And the half action and the saucer rose one hundred feet
dollar paid for the fuel—whatever kind of coal above the field before the atmospheric jets
“I’ve been snooping around, and I found it burns.” kicked in and it shot upwards at a sharp angle.
out about this thing.” he continued. “It was in
storage and still runs, but it’s only good for a Once the ship was in the middle of an Tor was just taking a bracing swig of some
one-way trip back to Earth—I guess because empty field, the dwarf untied the rope, and late afternoon red wine, as he looked up to see
it’s a rescue boat.” walked around to the opposite side of the craft, the jet plume over Bardoth.
“You bought this with the money you had?” where he punched a matter/antimatter pod
into a tube. A street urchin who earned his living as a
spy and informant ran and quickly told him
“Hell ya, silver’s so valuable here. And there’s He gave a human “okay” sign to the pair what had transpired. Tor kicked a bench and
not many people interested in a one-way trip and left riding the eight-legged beast. cursed as he reached into a pouch and tossed
back to a Earth.” a small coin into the bastard’s dirty paw.
“Ready to go, pardner?”
He smiled as he looked around the interior. Chance and Cisco were clutching the
“Except us.” “Chance, old bud, I’m more than ready.” armrests, unaccustomed as they were to the G’s,
Chance had scouted the saucer before- as
“What about Tor?” they rose through the atmosphere. As the
FTL drive kicked on, the suspended animation
hand, so he was familiar with interior and basic system
“Tor will never know. We’re leaving now.” activated. Both men fell asleep as beta
controls. waves filled the cabin.

# heading towards it,” said Chance. “This damn “Pardner, this may be the end of the trail,”
thing worked.” said Chance.
“Chance? Chance?”
Neither man knew that because of the time Cisco kept his eyes on the window and
Cisco was looking across to his companion. dilation effect, it was thirty years later on the looked at the turning globe below. Texas disap-
world beneath them than it had been when peared in the distance as the saucer continued
“I’m okay.” He rubbed his forehead. “I guess they left. Most of the people they had known its trajectory.
we’ve been out for a while.” were dead.
“At least we made it home,” he said quietly
After the saucer’s FTL drive kicked off, a gas As the bright blue ball grew larger, they as the growing flames obscured the window.
had entered the interior to revive them. could see the continents passing below. “We made it home.”
Chance looked over at Cisco. “I guess we’re “I reckon if this thing can sail us in, we’ll be #
still alive. You smell horrible.” on the ground soon,” said Chance.
Cisco chuckled. “You don’t smell like French Cisco pointed. “Look! Down there! There’s Vasily Vasilyev was sucking some bitter tea
perfume yourself.” home!” through a sugar cube and waiting for his latkes
to warm on the cast iron stove.
“I hope that this thing’s clockwork has been They could see the Gulf of Mexico and Texas
running while we were asleep,” said Chance. below them. The sky was bright and blue this Siberian
“Let’s get a look.” morning. His wife Nadia had stepped outside
Suddenly a loud warning sound began to hang a few small rugs to air.
He undid his straps and clamps. He was coming through a speaker, and a message in a
startled as he drifted up towards the low language neither man could read flashed on a He was looking at her through the small
ceiling. panel. panes of the kitchen window when he saw her
point upwards.
“Air must be pretty thin,” he said. “I’m just If they could have read it, they would have
floating around.” seen it said: “Automatic Reentry System Failure. He went to the window and saw a large
Assume manual controls.” fireball descending from the sky. There was an
He grabbed the wall and dragged himself enormous flash, and the fireball exploded.
over to a small window. After nearly 10,000 years, something was
bound to have broken down. Nadia ran back quickly to the cabin. Vasily
“Cis, come over and look at this!” grabbed her and pulled her towards the front
Cisco looked at Chance, who pushed himself room. The cabin shook as the concussion hit
Cisco undid himself and pulled himself over back and floated to the control panel. Rows of and the windows blew out.
to the window. red and blue lights were flashing.
They were thrown to the floor. After a
Down below, a large hazy ball hung on a “Dammit, this can’t be good,” he snarled. moment, Vasily raised his head. He then stood
black background. up, brushing off his clothes.
Cisco’s eyes grew large as flames begin to
Cisco was stunned. “Oh, God, that must shoot around the edges of the window. They He went over to the front door, which was
what the Earth looks like from the heavens!” looked at each other as the interior quickly still banging on its hinges. He walked into the
“Yes, and it’s getting bigger, so we must be began to heat up. front yard and saw plumes of smoke flying

upwards in the distance.

Nadia joined him on the steps. “My God,
Vasilyevich, what happened?”
“It looks like a meteor struck Tunguska.”
They both heard a sound like a pebble
hitting their cabin. Vasily turned and listened,
as whatever had struck the cabin rolled down
the steep tin roof.
He went over to where something shiny lay
under the eaves. He poked at it a moment, and
then blew on it as he picked it up.
He fingered it gingerly as he walked back
to his wife.
“What is it?”
He squinted at the shiny piece of metal and
then looked back to the smoke on the horizon.
“It’s a silver American twenty-five cent
piece,” he said. “I wonder how to God it got
here?”
Lou Antonelli
Lou Antonelli is a professional journalist who
began writing s-f and fantasy when he was
45. He has been published in the U.S., U.K.,
Canada and Australia.

Susie Earthshine, Space Substitute by Jeff Schnaufer Pg. 12
Susie Earthshine, Space Substitute

by Jeff Schnaufer
V enomous darts spurted at her from a

tubular alien tongue. A clubbed tail swung
menacingly towards her head. Fangs dripped
tentacles, and rising fast. The regular teacher
for this class had taken a poison dart on the
first day of school. The last substitute had
white, daisy-covered dress. The gun’s coolness
in the holster against her leg was reassuring.
drool inches from her feet. been squeezed into a lunch box. And tempting.
And she hadn’t even started But it was too soon.

teaching yet. The principal had asked her
Susie Earthshine, space sub- just to try and make it through
stitute, looked over the third the day without injury. That
graders in the classroom from wasn’t enough for Susie. She
behind the force field surround- was a belle from the South, U.S.
ing her desk. Forty-one eyes from of A., on Earth. Where she was
thirty-two students bussed in taught to take pride in her work,
from across the galaxy peered not just orders. No matter how
back at her. The students sat, low the job was on the cosmic
squirmed, and bubbled in their career ladder, she knew she
“seats”—miniature mobile and was one of the lucky earthlings
permeable replicas of their own to land one. And like all good
scorching, submerged, or soaring Southern Belles, Susie knew first
habitats on their native planets. impressions were important. In
Each “seat” was outfitted with any solar system.
a species-centric translator and “I’ll just have to teach these
touch-screen info-monitors to ill-mannered little critters a thing
research their lessons. or two,” Susie thought to herself.
“Rak flar bukka sii!” shouted And there was only one way
one of the students, who looked to do that.
like blue spaghetti on a stick.
“Bukka sii! Bukka sii!” the other students Her slender fingers touched the force field
Roughly translated by her earpiece, the
chanted the insult as a hail of venomous darts controls.
Rigellian was calling her a coward, challenging
her to lower her force field. from the Arcturan students—who resembled The classroom suddenly quieted in antici-
grass-covered snails—clattered against the pation.
It was Susie’s first assignment at the force field.
Betelgeuse School for Troubled Life Forms, “You darlin’s want me to turn off this itty
where the teacher-student ratio was 1 to 100 Susie fingered the blaster beneath her bitty field?” Susie cooed, her fingers teasing

the controls. Then she released a boisterous customs the Core had adopted). In the excite- She settled on the lone Capellan student.
laugh that made her petite body shake. One of ment, a Kirellian—who looked like a weiner dog It’s fluffy exterior and tubular torso reminded
the Arcturan’s even wet itself (which was still balloon—even tried to high five a Frackoid— her of her favorite breakfast, pigs in a blanket.
embarrassing in any corner of the galaxy). who looked like an orange cactus. Susie’s stomach growled involuntarily, causing
her freckled face to briefly flush with embar-
“Mercy. Pardon me. But I just do not think It took a few minutes for the robotic janitor rassment.
any of you are smart enough to make me, is all,” to sweep up the pieces of the Kirellian and take
she said, her challenge immediately translated them to the nurse’s office. But then all eyes in “Let’s start with you,” she said to the
for all the students to hear. the classroom—this time only thirty-eight— Capellan, careful not to sound like she was
were once again on Susie. She still stood behind choosing from a menu.
Forty one eyes in the classroom glanced the force field, her fingers at the controls.
at each other. Then at their teacher. And once “Ask me anything,” the Capellan crowed.
again, a hail of darts, clubbed tails, fangs—and “Let’s hope that our inflatable little friend “I’ll get it right. When the field goes down, we’ll
this time, acid from one of the feathered Ori- will be back with us by lunchtime,” she said eat your brains. Then we’ll see how smart you
onids—struck the force field. cheerily. “Though I do declare I will still be are!”
behind this force field, even then. Unless one
Susie’s fingers withdrew from the controls of you can make me lower it.” The student’s vengeful boast piqued Susie’s
and touched her pouting, ruby lips. “Well, isn’t anger for just a moment, long enough for
that clever? You know how to throw things. But Then she looked straight at the Rigellian. an image to flash in her mind of the student
do you know how to use your brains? Why, I’m “Because, honeychild, those natural defenses covered in maple syrup. She quickly pushed
not even sure some of you have brains in those yore so plum proud of,” she said, tossing her the thought from her mind. Eating students—
little things you call heads. And some of you curly blonde hair, “will not always do the job. even unruly ones—was bad manners. It was
poor little darlin’s don’t even have those.” Sometimes you have to use your brains.” also cause for suspension.
The insult took the children by surprise. Sure, “Use our brains?” one Arcturan whined. And she needed this job to support her
they had been sent to Betelgeuse because they “But we don’t learn telepathy until fifth grade!” mother. Jobs for humans were rare in the Core.
were the worst of the worst from the Core, that Most of Earth’s population was on universal
unified district of thirty-eight solar systems. “All you have to do,” Susie smiled, her white health-and-wealth-care. Even Earth’s intelli-
And sure, they had been trying to maim Miss teeth glinting off the force field, “is answer one gentsia—the Nobel-prize winning poets, politi-
Earthshine since she walked in the door. But question correctly.” cians, scientists and artists—had been forced
that was no excuse for her to be rude. into the unemployment line when the planet
“Then you’ll switch off the shield?” the was absorbed into the Core’s culture of more
“At least we can defend ourselves,” blurted Arcturan asked. advanced alien races. Only Earth’s lowly substi-
the Rigellian through his translator, obviously tute teacher was in intergalactic demand—in
a little hurt. “Not like Earthlings. You got no go “On my honor as a lady. Now who wants to
first?” the most demanding job in the Universe, no
claws. No poison. No spikes. Even your fur is less.
gone. Just hair left. What good is that? You Instantly, a forest of hands, wings and
can’t even swing it at your enemies. You have flippers rose above the eager students. “Well?”
to hide behind a force field.”
“Pick me! Pick me!” pleaded a chorus Susie was yanked from her reverie by the
Some of the students laughed. A few gave of translated alien tongues through Susie’s impatient voice of the Capellan. She quickly
each other high fives (one of the few Earth earpiece. gained her composure as her mother had

taught her, by smoothing her dress, tossing gurgled as it swum around his tank. “That The Orionid asked to go first. Susie
back her hair and clicking her heels, twice. white human. The Pope!” complied.
“Well, indeedy. First question to you, “Incorrect.” “What’s the tallest volcano in the Core?”
dumplin’.”
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww,” the other The students looked at each other, dumb-
Throughout the classroom, darts and clubs students moaned again. founded.
and stingers were aimed at the force field in
anticipation. Question after question was tossed at the “Volcano?” the Rigellian chittered. “What
students, each one having the impact of a water happened to all the questions about the presi-
“What is the name of the first leader of the balloon—leaving most of them surprised and dents, the leaders, the warlords?”
Core?” more than a little embarrassed. After a while,
the students began searching their monitors, “That was yesterday,” Susie said with a
“Who cares?” the child blurted out. sometimes in curiosity, other times in the smile. “New day, new questions.”
hopes of guessing what the next question
“Incorrect.” “Freetle’s gizz,” cursed one of the students,
would be. a Pupbel—who looked like a potted fern with
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww,” the other blue eyes.
students groaned in unison, followed by shouts 127 By the time school ended, Susie had asked
questions about the Core’s leaders—past
of “Way to go, dummy!” and “Quit sitting on and present—without “Mind your manners,” Susie warned. “Or no
a single correct answer.
your brain!” The Capellan’s natural instinct more questions.”
kicked in and he turned invisible in his seat, The students floated, slithered, and poured
embarrassed. “Sorry,” the fern replied.
out of the classroom with mumbled curses on
“My turn!” called the blue spaghetti-head- their lips, beaks and funnels. Vows of “We’ll get The next question was about the deepest
her tomorrow” were traded between them. canyon in the Core. Followed by a question
ed Rigellian.
about the hardest rock—which caused a
“Y’all have a wonderful day, now,” Susie
“Very well,” Susie said. “Who was the first called debate between the granite-like Ziglunder
after them cheerfully.
Warlord of Ziglund Six?” and the marble-faced Litracor. The rest of the
The next day, Susie noticed that a few day was filled with other questions—and no
“How should I know?” the Rigellian whined. of the correct answers—about geologic figures and
students had arrived early and were
“I don’t live on that worthless hunk of rock.” facts. This time, there was less grumbling and
studying vid-discs of worlds history on their
more research on the info-monitors. When
“Hey!” huffed the class’s lone Ziglunder— info-monitors. One of them was the Rigellian,
who quickly switched off his info-monitor when class ended, Susie even had to threaten one of
who, incidentally, looked like a hunk of rock.
Susie entered behind the force field. the Arcturans with her blaster to turn off the
“Next?” Susie asked. info-monitor in time to catch the interstellar
“Y’all ready to continue our little game?” bus.
“Me!” gurgled a wriggly Vormox in his liquid said Susie, wearing a foofy, pink, petticoat skirt
amber “seat.” and a white argyle sweater embroidered with The next day began with even more
a yellow smiley face. students studying their monitors when Susie
“Who is the President of Earth?” arrived in class. But again, the topic was, as
She caressed the force field controls in Susie said, “as fresh as the dew on a Savannah
“Wait, wait, I know this one,” the Vormox anticipation. sunflower”—filled with questions on animated

life forms—or animals. The fastest, the tallest, Susie tossed her hair back, smoothed her The answer came from behind the exploded
the smallest and the most dangerous—which dress and stamped her heels on the floor, torso of the Capellan. The Rigellian, the same
prompted even more debate among the twice. one who had challenged her from the start
students, some of whom claimed that right in of her first day, stood in front of her—a long
their ancestry. A Torgoth and a Kl’lmjot—he- “A lady’s word,” she said, fingering the force stalk topped with blue spaghetti-like tendrils.
reditary enemies on Sirius B—were even ready field controls, “is her bond.” The tendrils parted, like hair, and revealed a
to prove it. The debate was ended by a warning large, pulsating grey mass behind a transpar-
And she switched off the field.
shot from Susie’s blaster. And quickly followed ent skull.
by Susie’s homemade molasses cookies, which The Capellan’s tube stretched up from its
she tossed through the force field to eager The Rigellian’s brain.
torso, like a snake shedding its skin, towards
tentacles, claws and beaks. her face. The top of the tube opened wide, “I don’t think I’m ready for the game to
enough for Susie to see a whirring circular row end,” Susie heard the Rigellian’s voice. Then
On the fourth day, Susie asked the Pupbel of teeth. She thought of the story that would she realized the alien had no mouth, nor eyes.
what the fastest growing plant was on Sagitta. appear in the society page of her newspaper It was speaking to her telepathically. It’s tele-
“Me,” the fern replied. back in Atlanta. Being eaten by a pig in a blanket pathic powers must be immense, she realized.
would not reflect well on the family name. She That’s what caused the Capellan to explode.
“Correct.” feared that her mother might never be able to The Rigellian used brainpower.
attend Sunday brunch at the DewDrop Country
The room went silent. Club, ever again. “You could have done that to me at any
time,” Susie thought.
“The Mirigu species is the fastest growing Poo, she thought.
plant form on the planet Sagitta,” Susie said. “I was having fun,” the Rigellian said.
“And,” she smiled at the fern, “quite intelli- Susie gripped the blaster under her pastel “Learning.”
gent.” pink chiffon dress, wondering if she could get
away with a just a warning shot or whether she “Why didn’t you just read my mind for the
The fern student turned a slight shade of would, indeed, have to roast the little weenie answers?” she thought.
pink. Susie wasn’t sure if that was embarrass- alive.
ment or whether she had just caused it to “No fun in that,” the Rigellian replied.
bloom. Perhaps with pride. That meant a lot of paperwork.
With that, the creature turned on its stalk
This was confirmed when the other Poo, she thought. and returned to it’s “seat.” The robotic janitor
students started to respond. Shouts of “Way arrived to sweep up the pieces of the Capellan.
to go, Mirigu!” and “Nice job!” poured its way, Just as she had decided to try a warning It left a small stack of paperwork on Susie’s
deepening the pink to a bright red. It reminded shot, the Capellan lunged at her. desk—instructions on how to write a note for
Susie of her mother’s rose garden back home. the Capellan’s parents.
And exploded.
“Alllll riiiiiiight!” squealed the Capellan “Let’s keep playing this game,” the Rigellian
The classroom was filled with shrieks, declared
student, rising out of his “seat” towards the tatters of floating pancake-like bits and more Susie andfor all to hear. Then he turned towards
force field. His tubular torso made a sickly than a little asked: “Best two out of three?”
confusion on Susie’s part.
sucking sound. “We won! Drop the field! It’s
brain-chewing time!” Susie smiled.
Did I pull the trigger? she asked herself.

“Best two out of three.” Transfixed by the characters’ apparent

There were no objections. Susie wasn’t
Jeff Schnaufer success and big hair, Solana resolved to
sure if that was because her little plan to win
pursue a career in the arts. Although her
over the students had worked. Or because the extreme distaste of wood ultmately led
SOLANA’S BIO her away from interior design, she found
Rigellian had used his telepathy to “convince”
the rest of his classmates to continue, too. herself in creature design and illustration,
Artwork by Solana Mejia-Schnaufer and has been doing that ever since. To
It didn’t really matter to Susie. She would, —handpainted in watercolors with artist see more of her art, you can check out
after all, only be here until the original teacher markers. her sassy page: http://xburrito-dream-
recovered from her wounds at the hands of sx.deviantart.com/
her students. That came much sooner than Abandoned as a child at a nunnery in the
expected or, Susie realized, hoped for. The south of France, Solana Mejia-Schnaufer JEFF’S BIO
original teacher returned to school a week charmed her way into the hearts of her
later. With Susie’s help, the students were now fellow sisters with her childlike innocence As a writer, Jeff Schnaufer has recounted
ready to accept their old teacher. The teacher and tendency to frequently replace true tales for the Los Angeles Times and
still wore armor to the first day of class, just in
case. everyday conversation with highly the- People Magazine and written for Star
atrical outbursts of song. When at last Trek Voyager and Bewildering Stories. He
Susie felt a sense of satisfaction as she left her yearning to see the world overcame has chased tornadoes, braved firestorms
the Betelgeuse school for Troubled Life Forms her intense fear of indoor plumbing, she and survived earthquakes. But he thinks
and headed to her next assignment. She was abandoned her safe but small world to the bravest people on earth are substi-
ready for her next challenge. And, as she read pursue her dreams of becoming a profes- tute teachers like his mom, Marilyn. This
over her assignment on the interstellar shuttle, sional ventriloquist. Three years and ten story is for her and all the other substitute
she knew it would be the most daunting of her puppets later, disillusioned by the dark teachers who face out of this world chal-
life. Her mother even called on the in-flight cutthroat nature of the business and her lenges each day. If you like this story, feel
phone and begged her to reconsider.
inability to say “B” words without moving free to contact Jeff by email at schnauf-
“But dumplin’,” her mother said. “It’s New her lips, Solana pawned her last dummy dog@yahoo.com. (A special thanks to
York City. They’re the damn Yankees. They’ll “Pickles” for a ticket back to France **the my daughter, Solana, for finding her way
eat you alive.” exchange rate on puppets was higher home after we accidentally left her in a
in those days**. After years of sulking, nunnery while in France for a Jerry Lewis
Susie just fingered the blaster beneath her Solana was suddenly struck by a bolt of film festival. She picked up some nifty art
dress and smiled.
inspiration once again while working late skills along the way home.)
one night at a 24-hour crepery. As she
prepared a batch of strawberry filling
for the following morning, she happened
to catch a French-dubbed episode of
“Designing Women” on the small black-
and-white television set in the parlor.

Terror Ride to Work by Robert Evans Pg. 17
Terror Ride to Work

by Robert Evans
M y XTS was chugging along the speeder

corridor as I cut across the sky. Most
people looking up at this miserable time of the
flashed to fill the screen. The commentator
spoke in a pleasingly benevolent voice. “Join
the United Guild of Professional Terrorists,
Cilia came into hazy focus on the monitor,
since she kept the light low to keep from
waking the baby. Disheveled, light-brown hair
morning saw a lone streak through the night and enjoy the financial security your family framed puffy blue eyes as she smiled.
sky heading east, but in a few hours this par- deserves.” The scene was of a young family
ticular section of the heavens would be filled smiling happily as they played with their two “Hi, husband,” she said quietly with
with white trails of other XTs speeding along young kids. I punched the button hard to turn husband being drawn out in a long yawn.
their commute to low-earth orbit and beyond. off the display. “Have you made it to the ferry yet?”
“Control, this is Hawthorn XTS One-Six-Nin- With travel mirror and razor in hand, I “Being grappled as we speak.”
er-Niner, requesting permission to dock with clicked the device on and started shaving the “Good. Glad you made it safe. I just wanted
Asteroid Express Two-Zero-Four. Over.” stubble off my face. Looking in the mirror, I saw to call you before the ferry went into commu-
tired, green eyes looking back, and more gray
My earphone beeped three times before nication blackout.”
hair in what use to be a full head of dark brown.
the control operator spoke. “Hawthorn XTS God, I feel old. The scar on my head that used “Thanks for calling, babe. Is Dain still
One-Six-Niner-Niner, continue with current to be well above my hairline and concealed sleeping?”
approach. No adjustments needed. Prepare was now on the wispy edge of naked skin. I
to be grappled.” joked with my wife that I was going to tattoo “Yes, he is. He’s so cute when he sleeps.
a line on my head with a date to remember Check on housing when you get to work.”
The government-subsidized ferries were where my hair used to be. I figured in a few
always less friendly than their corporate “I will, but I’m sure nothing has changed.
years there would be lines going back over
cousins, but they were the only ones operating Our chances of getting a place in the asteroid
the top. I hadn’t expected to lose my hair so
at the time I needed. Government systems belt are unlikely right now.”
early, but I knew I would go gray; premature
always filled the void corporate entities failed grayness ran in my family, yet I had been lucky
to secure. “I know, but still check, keep us on their
enough to hold out until my early thirties. I minds. Somebody there has to be able to
Three long, metal appendages snaked out scratched the scar on my right cheek, the exit get us a place to live. I hate you being away
from the ferry and magnetically attached to wound of an electrical discharge. My wife said from us for so long at a time. It’s getting bad
my XTS. I rocked from side to side gently as it gave me character, but then she didn’t have around here. I’m scared. New California was
the grapples attached, slowly retracted, and to feel the constant itch just below the skin. supposed to be a bastion of peace in a chaotic
pulled me toward the ferry. I finished shaving and reclined the seat so I world, but instead it’s the home base for the
could stretch out. UGPT. I looked at the news just before calling
I took my hands off the controls, pushed
The speaker in the cabin rang out with an you and there were five terrorist attacks last
the button next to my armrest and let the
odd jumble of drums, bells, and synthesized night and two in San Francisco, that’s only an
seat slide back. I punched the button next to
music. I pushed the button to bring the screen hour away from us by rocket rail, and the news
the video screen. The news feed came into
to life. “Hi, wife.” said to expect more.”
view, and a UGPT advertisement immediately

Hearing my wife voice the current state I pushed the button to switch the video tional don’t-talk-to-me look. She was in her
of affairs put a knot of anxiety in my stomach, off and lay back with a heavy sigh. Once again, mid twenties, straight black hair pulled back
reminding me just how dangerous the Earth it looked as if the president was trying to lay tightly and rolled up into a bun at the back
had become. “I hate to hear that too, and it her hands on independent companies, but of her head, green eyes, and a mouth held
scares me to be away from you for these two this time she had her sights set on companies unyieldingly rigid. She was dressed in business
weeks and only home for a few days. I’m doing in the asteroid belt. The government hadn’t clothes: close-fitting light-blue jumpsuit with
everything I can to get us moved to Ceres or stopped trying to take over companies and a starburst of orange and purple on the right
one of the other asteroids near Henry Harkins control individual industries ever since they side.
power project. But nothing is available.” took over the financial market. I shut my eyes,
determined to put politics out of my mind for After getting my things together and
“I know you’re doing everything you can, a few moments. checking that my XTS was secure, I started
I’m just frustrated. We had no way of knowing moving down the tube. A young man crawled
that we wouldn’t be able to buy a place when A short time later, my earpiece beeped awkwardly along, fighting to maintain his grip
you first took the job.” to life. “Passenger. Your craft is secure, and and control his legs instead of just letting them
all other outside hatches for this section are dangle free. His backpack of tools didn’t help,
The video started to cut out. locked. Please make your way to primary thrust and he was constantly trying to keep them
“I’ll check on housing when I get there. cabin. Initial thrust in twenty minutes.” centered while he went from hand hold to
hand hold. It was obviously his first flight. He
Looks like we’re losing the signal. I love you.” The computer had gone idle, so I leaned was dressed in new work clothes, freshly cut
close for it to scan my retina. Then I typed my hair, with a complexion, eyes, and hair making
“I love you too. Call me when you get to password to open the hatch. Behind me and it impossible to tell what region of Earth he
Ceres.” to my right, the hatch of my XTS lifted up and came from.
As I said my goodbye, the screen went slid back. I floated out, grabbed a handrail,
blank, so I switched to the ferry’s news link. A and stuffed my flexo-paper in a pocket before I followed in behind him, easily maneuver-
Global News Network story was in progress. punching my password on the side keypad. The ing my body in the zero gravity.
hatch closed tight with a sucking hiss, buttoned
“...a press conference, the president up until I returned for the remainder of the two “Are you doing okay?”
announced that she was creating a committee day trip, holed up its cramped confines. The guy awkwardly turned to look at me.
to investigate the legality of private companies
The majority of the dock was empty, but I caught his ankle before he started tumbling
acquiring housing and housing projects in the
I recognized five of the six other XT’s docked, out of control within the tube.
asteroid belt. According the Rojas-Mora Act of
2110, it is illegal for private companies to own and the commuter shuttle for those that had “I don’t have the hang of this zero gravity
housing that is used as a primary residence for to hitch a ride to space. crap. I took a couple training classes but so far
employees near their place of work. Addition- everything I learned hasn’t helped much.”
A pretty young lady passed me on her way
ally, the Act gives increased power to the UEC along
to regulate the housing industry and to operate once inthe tube I hadn’t seen before. Every “You’ll get the hang of it, just keep your eyes
a while a new face popped up, but I
housing complexes in the best interest of the didn’t think I would focused on a point ahead of you and forget
public. The committee would investigate if the tion with her anytimebesoon; striking up a conversa- about your feet. What’s your name?”
she looked cold as
law applied to companies in the asteroid belt. a comet. People always looked grumpy at this “Bulut. What’s yours?”
The president promised...” time of the morning, but she wore an excep-

“Jason. You’re doing better. Just keep your secure in zero gravity. was qualified to just ride as a passenger on a
mind on something else.” commuter transit to the asteroid belt. Back
The primary thrust cabin was almost empty, then it was a different world, when everyone
“Thanks for your help.” only about twenty people belting into their was eager to know everything there was to
seats, and at least another hundred seats know about space flight. Today, people didn’t
“No worries. Is this your first time out?” available. As I made my way to my place, I want to know the basics of space flight, let
unconsciously scanned the room seeing the alone the more in-depth aspects that could
“Yes. I just got a job in the asteroids.” familiar faces of commuters that always sat in save their lives. I was lucky—I had spent a tour
“What type of work will you be doing?” the same seats, and went through their same in the Naval Space Marines, and most of basic
ritual. An old guy with grey hair and goatee training consisted of being drilled on all aspects
“I’m a robotic tech. I graduated from tech occupied with reading his flexo-paper. A mid- of space flight.
school a week ago. Do you know if it’s true that dle-aged lady with long, blond hair, always
robo-techs spend most of their time in enviro- impeccably dressed, typed on her computer My earpiece let out a long beep. “Passen-
suits on the surface or deep underground?” console; she had a nervous look about her as gers! Initial thrust in Ten-Nine-Eight-Seven-
if space flight didn’t agree with her. Another Six-Five”—I unconsciously checked my straps
“Yes, it is. I don’t envy you guys, it’s tough fellow commuter, Game Boy as I referred to and stowed my flexo-paper. I could hear the
work. But you are surely needed. For what you him, was a young man always slouched in woman typing furiously on her console—
all do, you don’t get paid nearly enough.” his seat with a virtual visor covering his eyes, ”Four-Three”—I took a deep breath and shut
neurally tied into a game; he sat on the far my eyes—”Two-One.”
“The pay is more than me and my family side of the cabin, unconscious of what went
was getting from the government for doing on around The MPD engines kicked in. I was pushed
him. Some people took space flight
nothing. I took it upon myself to go to school way too casually. back into my seat, not uncomfortably so, but
and get a job, which is something no one in my the weight pressing down on my chest suddenly
family has done in generations.” My earpiece beeped. “Passenger Hawthorn. made it hard to breath, I could still move, but it
“Glad to hear you are doing more with Initial thrust will begin in two minutes. Be was like trying to wade through water, I could
seated and strapped in at this time.” The even get out of my seat if I wanted, the accel-
yourself than most.” ferries’ computer system showed that I was eration was slow and constant. The engines
“I’m not afraid to tell you I’m nervous about still unbuckled, and was prompted to warn me. that powered the ferry could create enough
this— my family has long been members of the It was a cost-saving measure; government-sub- impulse to make the trip to the asteroid belt
Technocrats.” sidized ferries weren’t required to have safety in two days, and after the acceleration period
personnel in the cabin with passengers. If this it was smooth cruising, we could get up and
“Don’t worry about that, you will be working had been a commercial ferry, there would move about the cabin until deceleration.
far away from Earth and its politics. Concen- have been one safety personnel in the cabin
trate on your job. That will give you enough to for every seven passengers. A klaxon broke through the enveloping hum
worry about. Hey, it looks like you made it to of the engines followed by a tense voice over
the primary thrust cabin. Good Job, Bulut.” Initial thrust was still the most dangerous the loudspeaker. “All passengers refrain from
time of space flight, but with the commer- the use of all electronic devices at this time,
I helped Bulut to a seat near the front of the cialization of space it had become less so. My repeat, discontinue the use of all electronic
cabin and got him buckled in. He sat holding grandfather told stories about how he went devices.”
his tool backpack as if it were his most prized through two weeks of training in everything
possession, happy and content to be sitting from space survival to piloting before he The initial thrust phase was never inter-

rupted, and an uncomfortable murmur filled my time in the NSM, and fortunately until now, no matter how powerful the engines, we
the cabin as we passengers started to look I had not seen its full affect on a human being. couldn’t pull away without tearing the ferry
around to determine what the problem was. These devices were illegal outside the military apart and scattering debris all around the
and extremely hard to find. globe.
The pretty, don’t-talk-to-me young lady
suddenly filled the view screen in front of the All of which didn’t help my situation in the The terrorist obviously had control of the
cabin; she held a device for us all to see. The least; I was about to die, and I had a wife and computer system with the remote device she
strange device was flashing different colors baby to take care of that I desperately wanted held in her hand. Our only hope was getting
with a strip of machine language texting across. see at the end of my shift. Although I had a ahold of that device in time to correct the
It was an ominous refusal to the order given by premium life insurance policy, the one thing no current course. Otherwise, she would have
the ship that she had not powered down her insurance policy in all of Earth would cover was never worn the protective shield, and she
electronic device. death caused by terrorist action. Terrorist acts would have just pushed the button and smiled
had become too prevalent. all the way to oblivion.
“I am Katrina Khartimaji,” she said in an
unfeeling voice that echoed through the cabin The terrorist was already showing signs I unbuckled my harness and started making
speakers. “I have taken control of this ship. As of the intense electrical and magnetic fields my way over the seats, moving toward the front
a member of the United Guild of Professional that surrounded her body, protecting her from of the cabin. My muscles felt like jelly, I felt like
Terrorists, I commit this act for the betterment, attacks. Her skin was drying out and getting red, I weighed a ton. But at least I could still move.
equality, and status of people everywhere. All soon blisters would start forming and running
of you that give your lives here today can be...” pus. Once she switched on the shield, she was The unblinking face of the terrorist stared
a dead woman. The micro-magnetometers at me from the view screen, her face looking
I thought quickly—she was too far away, created a magnetic field that protected her as if it had aged fifty years in the last minute.
and with the acceleration, I couldn’t move fast from the high-energy discharge of the capacitor Her countenance was a tribute to the plethora
enough to catch her by surprise. banks, the capacitor banks protected her from of drugs she had taken before embarking on
the idiots like the poor fool that made the her self-destructive course. Painkillers were
Solutions went through my head as I heroic a wonderful thing, especially when every
grab; he had completed a six hundred
unbuckled my harness, when a young man in thousand molecule in your body was being ripped
watt circuit, the capacitors fired,
work clothes, sitting behind her and to the and he became apart and burned; once the shield device was
a corpse. Having that much
right, freed himself from his seat. Fighting the energy buzzing around activated nothing was spared its devastating
you wasn’t good, and it
mounting force, he pulled himself over the seat showed, as the first signs effects—not the nerves or even the bones. I
and moved close to the terrorist, encircling her what used to be a smooth,ofyouthful
blisters formed on
face. just hoped I didn’t look up at the screen when
with his arms. The loud zap, flash, and scream her eyes burst.
were instantaneous—only the smell of burning The loudspeaker crackled to life with a
flesh lingered in the cabin. A woman shrieked. computer voice warning. “Asteroid Express Another discharge of the field would give
A man cried. I could hear others as they retched Two-Zero-Four is off course, all passengers and me a few seconds to grab the device that had
from the sight and smell. The young man was crew evacuate immediately. Ferry will enter hijacked the computer system. No matter how
now a charred corpse, pieces of which were Earth gravity well in fifteen minutes.” efficient the protective shield was, it still took
falling away as the ferry continued its accelera- anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes
tion, the remainder of his body rested in the The terrorist could last another half hour to charge up the cap banks. My guess was this
seat next to the terrorist. before she could no longer function. We didn’t was one of the more efficient types that only
have that long; after entering the gravity well, took seconds. I was going to gamble that they
I hadn’t seen a personal shield device since

hadn’t improved much since my training in the my feet onto a lip and keeping myself from as well as the fresh scent of burnt flesh. As I
NSM. bulleting toward her, I was only a few feet in looked at the crazed demon crawling/falling
front of her, but due to her weakened state, toward me I saw that her chest was badly
Bulut was sitting with a frightened look, she couldn’t hope to fight against the Gs and burned. Her shield device was malfunctioning,
staring at the hideous form deteriorating on reach me. She maintained a curious, confident and she was almost on me.
the view screen. I crawled as fast as I could smile as she watched me. I pulled the backpack
toward him. around to my front and opened it; there at Using all my strength I crawled like an
the bottom were the contents of the bag all upside-down crab out of her path, before she
“Where are your tools?” came to rest on the wall beside me. All she
stuck together. I took a deep breath as I went
needed to do was touch me, and I was dead.
He looked at me eyes bulging with fear, and over in my mind what I meant to do. Then I
turned the open end of the backpack toward I scrambled like a crazed spider on the side of
his face a pasty grey.
the terrorist. the wall to get away from her. I heard a slap
“Where are your tools?” I repeated. behind me as she tried to hit my foot with a
The contents flew forward, like a bunch of grotesque, pus-running, skin-peeling hand, but
He still looked as if he didn’t understand crazy bullets, and hit with a loud crash, followed she missed.
or couldn’t even grasp the fact I was talking to immediately by an electrical crackle and bright
him. But before I had to repeat myself again flash of light. Globs of melted metal hurtled I had enough space between us, so I took
he moved his hand slightly pointing under the behind and away from the terrorist. When the device in hand and quickly looked it over.
seat beside him. the smoke cleared she was a bleeding mess I had no idea how it operated, and all I could
since some of the tools hit her after the shield tell was that it was heavily protected from
I pulled the bag out and looked through it discharged, but she was still alive. I quickly overloading. I could start pushing buttons from
as fast as I could. Reaching in, I tried to pull located the device that had control of the ship now until the ferry started to burn up, and not
out a metal bar but it was worse than trying to still clutched in her hand, and let my feet fall off push the right sequence. All I could think of
separate a pile of heavy magnets, everything the lip. I reached out and grabbed the device, was to destroy the thing, so I started slamming
was stuck together in the bottom of the bag, as I crashed by the terrorist. I tucked the device it against the wall with all my strength. A weird,
the thrust was creating enough Gs to make it in close, tumbling the rest of the way toward gurgling sound forced me to look up. The
impossible for me to get my fingers between the back of the cabin, bouncing over seats and terrorist had her arm held out with a horrified
the tools. away from her. look on her face. I must have been doing
something right, so I kept pounding the device.
I closed the bag, put it on my back as best I came to rest at the back of the primary The lights started fading, and the case cracked.
I could, and continued my way toward the thrust cabin, lying across several seats. I looked I kept beating the device against the wall. The
terrorist. at the view screen in time to see the terrorist case cracked in two.
I was three seats to the side of her when she unbuckle from her seat and start to push
“No!” screamed the terrorist.
looked my way. Her face was a hideous mask where I was,the
herself over back. From where she sat and
she would hurtle toward me like
of peeling skin and runny blisters. Her clothes a missile. The ferry moved, and I was thrown across
were wet with the seepage from the blisters the room, tumbling along the wall like a spider
that covered her body. A curious smile etched She flew over the back of her chair and hit dislodged from its web.
her mouth, and then she looked straight ahead the seat behind her without the shield device
once more. The terrorist slammed into a seat with a
discharging. She hit another seat. No discharge. loud crack and a bright flash as the shield dis-
The next seat lit up the room with a bright flash,
I crawled in front of the terrorist, propping charged.

The loudspeaker crackled to life with a Robert Evans

computer voice. “Asteroid Express Two-Zero-
Four has resumed standard course.” Robert lives in the foothills of California
with his Wife, Son and two cats; Talisker
# and Skye. He has worked in various fields;
drilled oil wells in Alaska, a stockbroker,
My XTS was as uncomfortable as always, an electric utility energy trader, and a full
but at least we were on course toward the time soldier who served in Iraq. His firm
asteroid belt. The ferry security removed the belief is that writing Science Fiction and
remains of the terrorist, and the unfortunate Fantasy is the shortest distance to reality.
hero, shortly after I smashed the device that
had taken control of the ferries’ computer For more information check out his blog
system. at SciFiWriter.blogspot.com
The passengers in the primary thrust cabin
were extremely happy and congratulatory for
what I had done. The crew was a different
story, they didn’t see the events unfold, and
didn’t realize exactly how close they had come
to being a fiery ball plunging to Earth. The crew
was so indifferent to the event, they didn’t
even put me up in a berth for the rest of the
trip. This was the attitude of the Earth I was
hoping to escape, where no one was entitled
to anything more than another, where actions
of an individual didn’t matter. I wanted a place
where my son could grow up to be rewarded
for his actions and his accomplishments, and
not relegated to sleep in the cramped confines
of a commuter craft.

No Remorse by George S. Walker Pg. 23
No Remorse
by George S. Walker
T hey never found the body of the man we

accidentally killed on Rigel III. Would anyone
find ours on this backwater planet?
“It will be worse near the falls,” I said.
“Lucky to see past the bow.”
teak deck and brass fittings. If I could get her to
the bottom of the Edge without killing us, the
boat was mine. That was part of the payment:
“Thanks, Ali.” She gave me a sour look. the bigger part had been getting Jasmine and
Iron Mermaid, storm-secured except for “That helps.” me released from prison on Rigel III, a Terran
extended titanium hydrofoils, skimmed the colony so distant its star wasn’t even visible in
waves of the tidal crest at nearly a hundred “Facts, ma’am. You want ‘em, I got ‘em.” the night sky here.
knots. Up and down with sea-sickening rhythm. “Bring the native forward,” ordered
A few volcanic peaks near the Edge towered Barely a month ago, I’d sat in the warden’s
another Andromedan, the blue. They didn’t
above the waves, but the coastline was freshly office as the offer was explained to me. The
use names. We could only tell them apart by
drowned deep beneath the boat. Our external warden hated my guts, and the feeling was
their hologhost tints. Their projectors were
mikes picked up only the howl of wind and sea mutual. There’d been no Andromedan remotes
designed for a non-human spectrum; looking
spray. there, just the warden. A take it or leave it
at the ghosts gave me a headache. offer with no chance to consult with Jasmine,
“Between the saddle peaks,” said the and I knew it was illegal. The Andromedans
Jasmine put on her breathing mask and
Andromedan, mandibles out of sync with its had bought the warden and the local justice
walked aft to fetch the Khotohian from the
words. The tentacled ghost-image writhed in system.
cargo hold, the only compartment with native
the air beside me, watching my every move. air. Like us, the guide had come aboard less
Through it, I could see the other three hovering If it had just been me, I might have said no.
than an hour ago. But so far, he’d spent the
around the control room. The real Androm- I was sure I’d survive prison, and I wasn’t sure
entire time in the hold. Alone.
edans were safe in orbit, cozy aboard the FTL about the Edge. But I’d seen what the Remorse
starship that had brought us across the galaxy. I checked that our boat was still on course. treatments were doing to Jasmine, taking her
The satellite map provided by the Androm- down notch by notch every day. She’d be a
I frowned and nodded. Jasmine and I were hollow shell after a year. The mind treatments
edans only showed one approach path to the
the Terrans who would pilot this boat, but not had little effect on me; my business com-
Edge. I’d wanted to choose my own route, pref-
until the last minute, when the Andromedans petitors claimed I didn’t have a conscience to
erably an easy one, for our run over the Edge.
relinquished control. It would make their vir- begin with.
But the Andromedans were the sponsors of
tuality recording more marketable. Especially this cursed expedition.
if we didn’t survive. I tried not to think about Now we had a deal with the Andromedans.
trillions of aliens watching us die, in blood- Iron Mermaid was Andromedan-built to Though how do you shake on a deal with
spattered slow motion. replicate a mid-twenty-first century Niagara something that has tentacles? I didn’t trust
runner from Earth. Fifty feet long, she had drive them.
“I wish I could see better,” said Jasmine, jets powered by archaic hydrogen turbines,
peering through the windows. It was nearly After a few minutes, the boat’s aft
not matter converters. It was a single-hull
local midnight, with only the light of alien con- bulkhead hatch opened, and the native
design with retractable hydrofoils. Museum
stellations and two huge moons. Soon to be Khotohian, Rha’nik, squeezed his thick body
quality, from the duralumin alloy hull to the
one, when the eclipse became complete. through the opening. Not accustomed to the

heat of our cabin, he wheezed through his on the Edge, to be pushed off and sacrificed Her eyes burned into mine, an echo of
bulky mask. Yellow tusks protruded from the on Judgment Day.” She shook her head, and Remorse. But I didn’t blink, and she turned
bottom of it, curling upward. His hooded green the prison barcode tattooed on her forehead away.
eyes flickered up at mine for only an instant, peeked through her black hair.
then sought out the Andromedans. He stank, We rejoined the Andromedans in the
and not a stitch of clothing covered his matted “So? You know he’s just local color for the control room. Ahead, moonlight reflected
black fur. Andromedans’ virtuality drama. The natives off pale green clouds rising from the Rift Sea,
are little more than animals.” beyond the Edge. The inner orbit moon, with
An Andromedan drifted toward him: yellow. its water oceans and reddish vegetation, made
Its hologhost projection mechanism hummed Jasmine shot me a look that probably spoke Terra’s moon look like a golf ball. It nearly
as it floated through the air, and one of the volumes, but I’m tone deaf to looks. obscured the more distant moon, swelling the
creature’s tentacles appeared to pass through tide closer to maximum. Land between the two
“Did you ask why he came?” I asked.
my chest. peaks just ahead was no longer visible above
“Because of the offer the Andromedans the waves. Above the horizon floated two gas
Hovering in front of Rha’nik, it said a few made whales, converting swarms of flying taikas into
to the elders of his village. Though when
words in the local language. I recognized one your village hydrogen gas.
word: Edge, but not a word of Rha’nik’s reply. can it take?”is hovels on an ice floe, how much
Only Jasmine had become reasonably fluent “How many minutes till we reach the falls?”
from the language cubes. The Khotohian stared “Did you tell Rha’nik he’s going to live?” Jasmine asked.
up through the pressure glass in the bow as the
deck rolled. “What, you think he trusts me? He called I looked at the strip map. “T minus five,
me Obedient to Ghosts. I honestly think he’s ma’am. Got an opening on your calendar?”
Jasmine put her hand on my shoulder. going to be the first to die. I’m so sorry he got Something rope-like and phosphorescent
dragged into this. I’ve asked myself why the
“Ali, can I talk to you for a minute?” broke the surface ahead, and the boat barely
Andromedans chose us, and I think I’ve figured missed snapping a foil.
“Talk away.” it out. Out of all their choices, they picked two
Terrans who underwent Remorse treatments. I “What was that?” asked Jasmine.
“Why don’t we get something to drink?” think they want to record how Rha’nik’s death
She frowned at the Andromedan and squeezed affects us.” I looked at the sonar, but the thing was
my shoulder—her nails dug in. behind us.
I shrugged as the deck rocked. “Ours is the
Privacy was an illusion. The Andromedans perfect boat for this kind of run, Jasmine. We’ll “Nybrak!” growled Rha’nik.
were recording everything: sights, sounds, make it.”
smells, and senses we didn’t even know about. I recognized the word: a creature hunted
But I followed her into Iron Mermaid’s cramped “Forget your damn boat, Ali. When it was nearly to extinction by Khotohian harpoon
galley. There were no bottles to be found, just just the two of us, it was okay. If we die, we boats.
an antique brass coffee maker. I needed a drink, die—better than rotting in prison. But I’m not
letting an innocent die. Once was enough.” “Perhaps the guide wishes to be on the
and coffee wasn’t it. outer deck,” said the red Andromedan.
“I found out our ‘guide’ thinks he’s a “What’s our choice, Jasmine? They’re
“Nobody goes outside till we reach the Rift
God-toy,” said Jasmine. “A puppet balanced Andromedans, and we’re the God-toys. All we
can do is our best.” Sea,” I growled. “First surge wave, and he’d be

gone.” If the Andromedans wanted Rha’nik’s they cleared, the ocean’s horizon was less I hung onto the wheel, white-knuckled.
early death, they’d only get it by shooting me than a hundred yards away: Edge of the world. Water cascaded against the windows to blur
first. Clouds roiled in the moonlight, hiding any view the view below, but there was nothing to see,
of the Rift beyond. I felt an adrenaline high, only white water. A tiny moving dot on the map
I wasn’t sure how far they’d allow me the just like the old days. showed Iron Mermaid’s descent off the Edge.
illusion I was in command. I’d run adventure Currents buffeted her, and I fought to keep her
expeditions for six years, until the accident on “Prepare to assume control,” said the in the main channel. For a moment I was back
Rigel III. Never before for Andromedan scum, Andromedan. The jets powered down to idle. on Rigel III, watching a man fall, a tiny dot. I
and never again, if I survived. shook it off.
I’d been prepared for a long time. “This’ll
I drew Jasmine’s attention to the map be a helluva ride.” The boat shuddered and went under as she
screen; it was 2D, part of the boat’s dated landed keel-down in a catch-pool. Rha’nik had
technology. “Here’s the main channel down the From the corner of my eye, I saw Jasmine figured out how to unfasten his webbing and
mountain: We know from the erosion.” There trying to belt the Khotohian in. He didn’t like rolled against the safety rail. The Andromedans
was no water at all in the satellite strip image, the web-style harness—probably thought nets hovered in place, unaffected, hoping to record
because it had been recorded earlier, before were for prey. our pain. Through the hull pounded the roar of
the monster tide. “Sheer rock walls here and the falls. I slapped off the speaker switch.
“Depth beneath the hull?” asked Jasmine,
here, and where it dips farther down, a current sitting down beside me and belting herself in.
will try to smash us into this ridge. After we In Khotohian, Jasmine shouted to ask
pass the last crest we’ll be in free fall for about “250,” I said. “Decreasing fast. 225... 200.” Rha’nik if he was all right. No answer.
150 feet, then we’ve got a deep dive bay below
it. Try explaining that to your native friend.” “You have control,” said an Andromedan. A wall of water shoved Iron Mermaid over
The boat was drifting dangerously. the lip of the pool. The drop was steeper this
She tried in her halting Khotohian. He didn’t time, and despite my efforts, the boat slewed
seem to care about the details of his impending Lights and readouts came alive on the sideways as she fell.
doom. Frustrated, she led him to the starboard controls in front of me. I accelerated to catch
seats and motioned him to sit. The rocky peaks the next swell, maneuvering to stay on top of it. I cursed. The jets screamed up and down,
of the saddle ridge rose thousands of feet The boat was more sluggish than I’d expected. dipping in and out of water. I straightened the
above both sides of the boat now, and the falls Ancient underpowered Terran technology, a boat out, barely avoiding a side wall as the
roared from the cabin speakers. Rha’nik closed museum curator’s dream. Mist pelted the erosion channel turned.
his eyes, rocking in counter-rhythm to the pressure glass. I switched on the fog lights, but One of the Andromedans spoke in
waves. A sacrifice, accepting his fate. their yellow glow only pierced the clouds for a Khotohian, then laughed, also a Khotohian
short distance.
“We shall pull the foils now,” said the red sound. If I had a blaster, the Andromedan
Andromedan. “75,” I said. “50... 40... Drop off ahead!” wouldn’t be laughing. In Khotohian legend, this
was truly the end of the world, with a watery
My heart sped up. “About time.” There was no more ocean before us, just Hell below. The eclipse meant Judgment Day,
howling mist. Iron Mermaid’s needle-sharp bow and Rha’nik was on his way down, condemned
The foils retracted, and Iron Mermaid rocked tipped down, and Rha’nik chanted something I along with us.
as her hull plowed into the water, slowing fast. couldn’t understand. The bottom fell out of my
The pitch of the jets dropped, and at the next stomach as our boat slid down the falls. In a straight channel now, the current
swell, dark water engulfed the windows. When picked up speed. Up ahead, somewhere in the

mist, was a ridge the current must smash into, rotation sync’ed with the eclipse. “Hold position here and open the outer
according to the dry-view map. Turn too soon, doors,” said the blue Andromedan, gesturing
and Iron Mermaid would strike the channel For a moment, the lights showed the with a tentacle. “We shall record outside while
wall; too late, and the current would slam her boundary between water and mist, then the waiting for the lifter ship.”
into the ridge. boat toppled over the falls. I stood ready to
use the jets, but the curtain of water hugged Were they disappointed we were still alive?
I judged the moment and turned the wheel. our hull like a bear, keeping the needle bow They floated out of the main cabin. Rha’nik said
The boat continued straight. I punched the jets. straight down. Falling: the Khotohians’ worst something sharp—maybe a curse. He didn’t
Iron Mermaid spun too fast, and I counter- nightmare. Remorse took me to Rigel III again, know we were safe.
steered. She hit the wave reflecting from the helpless. The dot slid down the cliff on the
ridge and tilted, deck almost vertical. The fog map, gaining speed. Eerily, there was no roar “Jasmine, ask him if he wants a closer look
lights lit up rock beneath the water. Close from the hull; the boat and the water fell as at Hell before the Andromedans return him
enough to touch. The keel scraped, then the one. The wheezing of the Khotohian guide to his village.” I set the autopilot to hold the
boat righted herself in the main channel. filled the room. boat’s position and went aft to open doors for
the Andromedan remotes.
“That was some turn,” gasped Jasmine. Iron Mermaid pierced dark water. The dive
pushed her deep beneath the sea, and the Outside the cargo hold, I pulled on a
“Testing my boat,” I growled. harness compressed my chest. I felt my cheeks breathing mask. The hologhost mechanisms of
and eyes bulge. On the hull pressure gauge, the four Andromedans hummed as they waited
The channel leveled out and widened. Iron in mid-air. They could operate the boat’s crude
numbers climbed furiously. Bubbles exploded
Mermaid wasn’t getting pummeled here, and transistor electronics, but not physical devices
past the windows, left far behind as we plunged
I glanced around. The Andromedans floated like manual locks. When I opened the hatch,
deeper and darker.
through the cabin, recording. The Khotohian they floated through ahead of me. Scattered
stared straight ahead through the windows. I strained to adjust the diving planes, and around the compartment lay Rha’nik’s few
the hull groaned as I forced the boat into her possessions, where the ride down the falls had
“Coming up on the main falls,” I said. upward arc. I turned on the jets to kick us away tossed them: an amulet, a leather bag, a dozen
“Prepare for dive.” from the whirlpools beneath the falls. Outside or so carved icons. Protection? Luck beetles the
Jasmine was already up, struggling to belt the glass, the lights showed only dark water. size of Jasmine’s fists squirmed inside a fishnet
Rha’nik in again. She was determined not to Inside, the Andromedans prowled. bag. I closed the hatch, and the clang echoed.
have another death on her conscience. Just like my old prison cell.
“I think you won your boat, Ali,” Jasmine
Iron Mermaid was designed to dive. Not gasped. Following the Andromedans, I pressed
like a submarine, since she had no ballast tanks the switch to open the big cargo doors on the
A minute later, Iron Mermaid broached the starboard hull. My feet felt the vibration of
to fill, but for a smooth bow-first penetration. surface of the Rift Sea. The hull boomed as she
heavy gears in motion.
Mist swirled in the fog lights, hiding the slapped down.
final waterfall. On the map, our bright dot “Is the lifter ship on its way?” I asked.
I swung the boat to face the Edge falls.
approached the cliff overlooking the Rift Sea. Obsidian cliffs climbed out of the mist, and “The Edge tide will last a short while longer.
Below, eons of tidal stress had torn a hundred- high above them, moonlit clouds swirled like We shall record as it recedes.”
mile gap in the planet’s crust. No normal rivers a lid trapping us in the Rift. A volcano rumbled
fed this sea, only the tides when the planet’s in the distance. The big doors slid open along their tracks,

and the four hologhosts departed, floating “If it wasn’t for that,” I said, “these doors glowing faint red. The other three appeared
effortlessly above the churning sea. The wind would be shut by now, and I’d be putting miles behind it. There was another huge splash close
howled. It was dark outside, but lava from an between them and us.” I tried to see down into behind them. Something blue glowed beneath
erupting volcano glowed orange in the distance. the water. “A lot of native wrecks below us, I the water.
The Andromedans became squirming wraiths suppose. I wonder if anybody’s recorded the
as they dissolved into the mist. I shivered in locations?” “What is it?” I yelled.
the icy wind, hoping they’d find something to
“You starting a salvage business, Ali?” A monstrous head lunged from the water
record. What they’d wanted—our deaths— toward the last hologhost, which soared
hadn’t happened. “Maybe. I’ve got a boat and no clientele upward.
The cargo room’s inner hatch opened, and for an expedition agency: just one tiny Terran
outpost on a barren island.” Jaws filled with thousands of teeth snapped
Jasmine and the Khotohian entered. Jasmine, on empty air.
her face hidden by her mask, gestured to “Can’t be much left down there besides
Rha’nik that it was safe to remove his. I bones. “Nybrak!” roared Rha’nik. His empty
The Khotohians use hardly any metal.”
stepped onto the narrow hull walkway below forepaws opened and closed futilely.
the doors. Rha’nik’s matted fur brushed me as I shrugged. “Gold doesn’t corrode. Maybe
he stepped beside me. We stared down at the they sent over offering rafts.” Water streamed from the nybrak’s phos-
waves beating against the hull. Iron Mermaid phorescent blue scales, and for an instant the
rocked to their rhythm. “Crude unmanned remotes.” She shivered. creature looked straight at me before submerg-
“Like Rigel III.” ing with a splash.
“Bottom,” said Rha’nik in Khotohian. Steam
came from his breathing holes. When I’d started my agency on Rigel III, “Back inside!” I ordered.
Jasmine or I had personally accompanied every
I knew that word. It probably meant client into the Canyon of Winds. But when “It’s huge!” said Jasmine.
something else to him: Hell. the young man had fallen screaming to his Rha’nik turned and leapt into the cargo
death, his only companion had been a remote.
Rha’nik bent his thick neck to peer upward. Jasmine hold.
had been plugged into the interface,
The pounding of the falls carried through the but it wasn’t
night air, but the mist hid the sight of the Edge sky-sail. Therethe same as being there, riding a “The nybraks lack predators in the Rift
was nothing we could’ve done, Sea,” said the red Andromedan as it reached
high above. To our left, there was a bright but the colonial court ruled otherwise. the boat: emotionless as an audio guidebook.
yellow flare. A gas whale, hit by cinders from
the volcano, spiraled in flames toward the sea. “This one has reached maturity.”
A large splash sounded in the distance, off
where the Andromedans had disappeared. Taking their time, the Andromedan remotes
“Ghosts gone,” said Rha’nik.
flew through the doorway. Then, before I could
“They’ll be back,” said Jasmine through her said“Don’t tell me they’re going for a swim,” close the doors, Rha’nik pulled a boat hook
Jasmine.
breathing mask. She stayed in the cargo hold, from the bulkhead of the cargo hold. I tried to
hugging her arms to her chest for warmth. “Too loud for a hologhost device.” I looked block him, and he shoved me to the floor.
“The ghosts’ ship will take us back to the top.” upward. “Don’t think it’s anything from the
Jasmine spoke slowly, and even I understood falls, either. We’re too far away.” “No!” Jasmine screamed in Khotohian.
the native words. The damn fool strode onto the walkway
A hologhost emerged from the mist,

just as the nybrak’s head re-emerged from the the wall, where she gasped for air. I grabbed the She grimaced and nodded, shivering.
sea, and hurled the boat hook like a harpoon. It big breathing mask from the floor and tossed
bounced off the monster’s head into the water. it to Rha’nik as he came through, following the The deck tilted past 45 degrees, and Rha’nik
The nybrak hissed, it’s eel-like head nearly hologhosts. slid down against the starboard windows. His
filling the doorway. A huge eye with a vertical luck beetles were surely drowned by now, and
black pupil twitched, locating Rha’nik. He The nybrak reappeared and snaked its maybe our luck with them.
stepped back and tripped on the sill, tumbling head through the jammed outer doors, tilting
the boat. I slammed the inner hatch shut and “When’s the lifter get here?” I shouted,
backwards into the room.
locked it. The bulkhead boomed as the creature turning to the Andromedans.
I was on my feet now, and hit the switch to butted against it. I turned to help Jasmine. “It has not yet left orbit,” said the blue
close the doors. They began sliding together as
“I’m okay,” she wheezed, barely audible. She Andromedan.
the nybrak’s head lunged at Rha’nik. The head
hit a door, and the beast thrashed, jarring the was shivering, and the fabric of her drenched “Get it down here! Now!”
mechanism. With a screech of metal, the left jumpsuit clung to her skin. “Move the boat!”
door halted. The beast hissed in fury. I swore. She pushed me away. The cargo hold must have filled with water,
for Iron Mermaid was slipping beneath the Rift
Jasmine was at Rha’nik’s side, trying to Iron Mermaid rocked violently from side to Sea. Even with her hold filled, the boat should
help him up, when the boat suddenly tilted. side. The bulkhead boomed again and again. have been buoyant, but the nybrak was pulling
The nybrak, hooking its head in the doorway, us under. Dark water obscured all the windows
I ran through the slanting corridor and
was trying to pull its meal underwater. A wave now. Glowing coils thrashed beneath the sea.
reached the controls, disengaging the
of numbingly cold water crashed over the sill The fins along the beast’s body rippled, driving
autopilot.
into the cargo hold. I was braced against the it downward.
bulkhead, but the wave toppled Jasmine. And When I opened the jets to maximum, the
Rha’nik, lunging forward, knocked loose her boat lurched forward briefly. The jets still I glanced at the sonar display. The bottom
breathing mask. screamed, but the boat made no headway. She of the trench was beyond the sonar limit, and
began listing sharply to starboard, and I heard only the nybrak showed.
He picked up a supply container and the rumble of tons of water pouring into the
hurled it into the nybrak’s mouth. The creature cargo “What’s our crush depth?” croaked
hold. Alarms shrieked.
jerked free its head, and the boat rocked back, Jasmine.
sending the wave crashing back across the Still gasping for breath, Jasmine dragged
floor. It pushed Jasmine to her knees this time. herself into the seat beside me. Outside, the “The Niagaras were spec’d for a hundred
A sea spider big as a dinner plate struggled to coils of the nybrak writhed among the waves. feet. Not with the damn doors open,” I added.
get away from her. Their phosphorescent glow revealed its body Rha’nik said something I couldn’t interpret.
I waded forward and grabbed her, propel- nearly ten feet in diameter, with thick fins He stared at the nybrak.
ling her toward the inner hatch. She coughed sinking toalong
running it. Iron Mermaid continued
starboard, and the pressure glass on “What’d he say?”
and gagged, and I half carried her. that side of the boat slowly submerged.
“It takes him to the cave of demons,” said
“Everybody back inside!” I shouted through “You okay, Jasmine?” I slapped her wet Jasmine. “Final Judgment. I’m sorry,” she
my mask. shoulder. whispered. “I’m so sorry.” She shook her head,
In the corridor, I propped Jasmine against still shivering.

A hiss came from the corridor, and I jerked “You’re recording the nybrak”—Jasmine With a crackle and a smell of ozone, the red
my head around. A spray of high-pressure water coughed and gasped for air—”which you lured vanished.
spurted from the edges of the cargo hatch. to the boat!”
I found the code to blow the cable mounting
I pulsed the jets, trying to break free. “The tide is not finished,” it said. “We have and punched it.
a contract.”
In the cabin, one of the hologhosts flickered. A bang sounded through the hull. The
All four began pixelating, like primitive Jasmine turned to me. “Ali! Do something!” remaining three hologhosts winked out, their
computer animations. The sea water overhead mechanisms clattering to the deck. Iron
interfered with the signals from orbit. “If you detach the tether,” warned the Mermaid tilted and began rising on her jets.
Andromedan, “you will be off the datanet, and
Then there was a clunk from the roof, and there can be no lifter ship rescue.” Rha’nik spoke. “Disobedient to ghosts.”
the console showed the tethered communi-
cations pod floating toward the surface. The “If we go deeper, there won’t even be “Yes,” said Jasmine vehemently. “No more
Andromedans were still meddling. pieces for the lifter ship to find.” Jasmine’s eyes innocents.”
burned into mine. “We’re dead either way, Ali,
“Maybe that will distract it,” said Jasmine. but we can save Rha’nik.” True enough. But the Andromedan defeat
was ours, too. Our fuel and air wouldn’t last
The nybrak’s body slammed against the The hull groaned. Did I even care about long enough for anyone from the Terran
windows. Rha’nik made a warding gesture. Rha’nik? I decided maybe I did. I scrolled outpost to find us.
through control codes.
Then there was a jerk, and Iron Mermaid Ahead through the pressure glass there
righted herself. She began rising, propelled “Forbidden by contract!” said the red was only water, but it was getting brighter.
by the jets. The hologhosts returned to their Andromedan, and I wished I’d left them all In moments I saw the foam of a wave above
normal colors. outside the hatch, the hatch they couldn’t us. Iron Mermaid broke the surface, listing to
open. As the Andromedan floated toward starboard. I started emergency pumps to clear
“I think we’re safe,” Jasmine said in me, I threw a right jab. My fist hit home on its water from her cargo hold.
Khotohian. hologhost projector. Red tentacles went flying.
It bounced off the far wall like a football. I steered the boat toward land, back by
Rha’nik looked at her, and at that instant the falls. Beside them, the tops of a grove of
the boat jerked to a stop. Tilting slowly, but to Jasmine lunged to intercept it. The red carnivorous trees writhed in the surf. Once the
port this time. When I checked the sonar, there ballooned in size, tentacles whipping through tide receded, Rha’nik could hike up out of the
was no trace of the nybrak hugging the keel. the cabin. As she caught it, the other three Rift. With any luck, a harpoon boat would spot
The boat began sinking, despite the jets. Andromedans converged on her. Rha’nik batted him before he starved to death. Air wasn’t a
one of the mechanisms away and spread his problem for him.
The answer dawned on me. “It’s wrapped arms, warding off the others.
around the tether!” He said something to Jasmine.
Jasmine had a firm grip on the red’s
“Detach it!” said Jasmine. “He wants to know if we’ll sail upstream
mechanism. She pounded it repeatedly against
the floor. Red tentacles began pixelating. now,” she said.
“You may not disconnect our communica-
tions tether,” said an Andromedan. “We are I glanced at the falls and laughed bitterly.
“I will not,” she panted, “be sorry! Again!”
still recording.” “Tell him this isn’t a damn elevator. He’ll have

to take the stairs.”

“Ali, he has a point. There must be other
places where the tide spills into the Rift.” She
spoke to Rha’nik.
I caught a few phrases. “Slow water” was
one. Rha’nik squatted, scratching with a claw
on the teak deck: a map.
“The tide sends many rivers into Hell,”
Jasmine translated. “There’s one a quarter
mile wide, with no falls. Think we can give him
a ride?”
I turned the boat away from shore, away
from trees that were already biting at the boat.
With luck, we’d make it to the Terran outpost.
“Tell Rha’nik we ran him into Hell, and we’ll run
him back out.” I looked at Jasmine. “Sorry you
came?”
She smiled and shook her head no.
George S. Walker
George’s stories have appeared in Helix,

Science Fiction Age, Tomorrow SF, Midnight
Zoo, and other SF magazines. “Zorroid”, a
tale of androids south of the border, is in the
December 2008 issue at www.ideomancer.
com, and his older stories can be found at
http://george.s.walker.googlepages.com/.

The Taming of the Shill, A Dean the Space Rogue story by Andy Heizeler Pg. 31
The Taming of the Shill
A Dean the Space Rogue story
by Andy Heizeler
“P lease, you’ve got to help me!” cried the

skinny man grabbing at Dean’s sack of
potatoes. His story about being stranded here
a transit route that consisted of three fifteen-
hour sub-implicate order jumps, they could
reach the Greater Star Republic mining colony
“Excellent. This may be a better run than
I expected,” she said pleasantly, taking a
vicious bite out of her carrot before heading
after coming to visit his sick grandmother had in the dead system Darkville in just two days. off towards her potential passenger. Dean
not impressed Dean as very compelling. The Real, soil grown food would bring hefty profits followed, keeping his face purposefully
delivery, however, had been superb. Were he a in raw petroleum, which could be turned into neutral.
much younger soul, Dean might have even felt Universal Credits in a matter of weeks on the
sorry for the guy. He took a step back, looked black market. Never mind that the transaction “I hear you’re looking for a ride,” said
the man up and down, and shrugged. was illegal, the price was certainly right. Captain Sedona, placing her hands on her hips
in a way that always made Dean think of angry
“All right, I’ll put in a good word with the “I just traded the last of the neomycin for actresses.
captain, but not for free. You can start by ten bushels of carrots,” said Captain Sedona
hauling these potatoes to that crate over proudly, holding up two sticks of bright orange The man looked up with genuine surprise
there,” said Dean masterfully, lobbing the sack produce and offering one to Dean. at the shocking beauty of the captain. He
onto the other man’s shoulder. The surprised might have been a bit thrown off by her garb,
look on they skinny fellow’s face was classic, in “Why thank you, Captain. Oh, by the way as well, thought Dean.
Dean’s opinion. we may be having a guest on board,” he said
casually and nodded towards the man putting “Yes ma’am,” he said nervously. Dean
Dean brushed off his black T-shirt, which sacks of potatoes into one of the lifter crates. noticed that the fingers of his right hand
bore the neon white words “Black Holes Suck.” twitched unconsciously near his belt. At one
It looked a bit out of place on the frontier, Captain Sedona leaned over Dean’s point this fellow had walked around armed.
but Dean didn’t mind. On his hip he wore a shoulder to peer at him. “He’s got a goatee. Not a good trait to display if going for the
nicked-up laser pistol, which he had purchased He must be evil. Did he say what he can pay?” innocent traveler look.
from a pawn shop a few planets back. He didn’t she asked with an arched eyebrow.
“Load the rest of the supplies on the ship.
intend on using it, but its presence tended to “Oh, he’s good for ‘solid credits’ once we She’s an automated hauler, with Dean and
dissuade forceful arguments. get him to a Galactic Standard Bank on a myself the only crew. Don’t get in our way
Captain Sedona came wading through the civilized world,” said Dean with a grin. and don’t snoop. If you fail to come up with
bustle of the open-air farm market set up near the credits when we hit civilized dirt, you’ll be
“I’m sure of it, any luggage?” she asked. lucky if I turn you in to the authorities,” said
the resting hulk of the Tachyon Valkyrie. Instead
of her tight, test-pilot skin-suit, she wore blue Captain Sedona tersely, before nodding to
“Just his backpack. Large enough for some
jean coveralls with a white work shirt. Dean Dean.
clothes and a hygiene kit or a quantum trans-
found them charming on her, which made the mitter with a power adaptor,” said Dean, “Make sure he has a place to sleep,” she
day just that much better. nibbling his carrot. said, heading for the loading ramp of her
The farm tools and medicine had fetched a spaceship.
Captain Sedona’s expression darkened
very respectable bounty in fresh goods. With with sinister glee.

Dean followed moments later, making sure The goatee-sporting passenger, who had he’s going to transmit, the twenty four seconds
to pause for a few deep breaths of the frontier given the name of Dick Everton, nodded with we’re in normal space between jumps on this
planet’s dairy air. With a glance around from a mystified expression. The two men relaxed first leg is when he will,” she said pointedly.
atop the ramp, he couldn’t help but think the on the broken down old couch in the mess
whole place reminded him of Montana, which lounge of the Tachyon Valkyrie. Arc would have “Ah, of course. This doesn’t mean we can’t
was appropriate considering the planet’s normally been there, but today he was piloting have alone time, mind you,” said Dean, hoping
name. the ship from his bunk, via his ever present for sheer blind luck to favor him. The captain
telepad. Not to mention Dick had no idea that walked past him with a sigh of frustration. So
As the twin suns of the binary system he, Creon, or Cloey was aboard. much for that, Dean thought grumpily and
were setting on Big Sky, the Tachyon Valkyrie continued towards the engine room. Her resis-
fired her powerful thrusters, lifting gently off “So, what’s a cigarette again?” asked Dick. tance to his charms had the legendary quality
the surface. The long, sleek shape of her half of force armor.
military hull gleamed in the twilight as she “Never mind,” said Dean, standing up and
left an orange and blue trail of fire across the stretching with a yawn. The ships chrono The engine room once again smelled of
winking first stars of a summer’s eve. Despite marked it as late afternoon, but Dean found his incense and scented candles. The darkened,
her advanced age and heavy modifications, internal clock still ran on Big Sky time, where itthrumming chamber, with its impossibly
the old Light Cruiser could still put on an was heading towards midnight. confusing array of conduits and mechanical
impressive show as she glided past the radar devices that fed the Bohm Drive had never
“I’m going to turn in, Dick. Kill the lights appealed to Dean. He preferred things that
screens of the orbiting Greater Star Republic before you head to your quarters, will you?” didn’t require a deep understanding of quantum
Destroyer on anti-piracy patrol. The children said Dean nonchalantly, rinsing out his glass physics to operate, like his laser pistol.
below waved as the sonic boom reached them and placing it carefully in the storage case.
from on high. He wouldn’t have come down here at all,
“No problem. See you tomorrow,” said Dick but according to the plan he was supposed
A lone man huddled in his rented room in pleasantly. Dean smiled and ducked under the
the big farmhouse just south of the landing hatch rim, heading sternward. to check on Cloey and Creon to make sure
area. He had enough energy stored in the cells their needs were attended to while in hiding.
He ran into Captain Sedona in junction B, check on Arc rightthinking
of his transmitter to send one, simple message Halfway through about how he should
to the men who had threatened him and his just above the down hatch to engineering. She after this, his world exploded
family with death if he did not comply. into sheer terror.
had her black test pilot suit on again, and her
Unscrambled it read, “The prize is moving.” long black hair spilled in endless curls down her There are moments, Dean reflected later,
back. Dean found himself smitten, as always. that must certainly shorten a man’s life by
“We translate out of the sub-implicate order several
# years. The instant the orange and black
ball of pure rage and madness hit his head with
in three hours. We should both be ‘asleep’ by a death shriek from the pits of the Void, was
“So we got chickens, and the krauts got ciga- then,” whispered Captain Sedona. certainly one of them.
rettes! The headquarters in both trenches were
none the wiser. It just goes to show, when two “A good opportunity for us to have some It didn’t help that the attack was over as
supply sergeants get together, even if they’re alone time then?” said Dean with a roguish soon as it began, with the little furry monster
enemies, nothing is impossible!” finished Dean, grin. bounding off his face and into the waiting arms
tipping back another glass of champagne. The captain rolled her eyes. “No, Dean. If of the chief engineer.

Cloey caught the kitten and smiled, cradling “Et tu, Creon?” asked Dean as the big man “We’re quite comfy down here, everything
the now docile creature against her pink squeezed past him to pet the little creature. is set,” said Creon, patting a large cylindrical
coveralls. Its purring could be heard even over the drive device. Unlike the rest of the equipment down
generators. here, it wasn’t hooked into anything at the
“What in the name of all that is holy are moment.
you doing with that thing aboard this ship?” “A spaceship is a natural place for her, Dean.
demanded Dean, trying very hard to keep his I believe Jules Champfleury put it best ‘There “Amelia is doing fine, thank you very much
voice down, despite the fact that it couldn’t is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten,’” for asking. We’re using one of your old shirts to
really carry past the sound proofed chamber. quoted Creon, letting the tiny animal gnaw on line her bed,” said Cloey with obvious delight.
His hands instinctively began checking for his thick index finger.
blood on his skull. “Lovely,” said Dean, less aggravated with the
“Don’t forget the one you told me from realization that if having his shirt stolen to be
Cloey made a pouting face, which suited Dickens,” said Cloey helpfully. used as a bed for the next coming of the Dark
her youthful appearance well. Her long, blonde One was the only thing that went wrong with
hair was tied back in a ponytail today, and her Dean shook his head. “Fine, just make sure this mission, they’d be doing quite well. This
plasma-blue eyes sparkled with anger. “It’s not it stays out from underfoot, will you?” he said, was by far the riskiest plan they had attempted
a thing, she’s an innocent little kitten!” said knowing that calling the kitten “it” again would yet, and Dean wasn’t all that sure it would work,
Cloey defensively. only earn him another reprimand, which it despite the confidence he had projected while
did. proposing it to the captain in the first place.
“I keep that in mind at its trial! Does the
captain know she’s aboard?” asked Dean, “She has a name you know! She’s our own
little Amelia, after Amelia Earhart, not that #
knowing full well that she did not. Cloey shook
her head. you’d know who she was,” said Cloey with the
glowing pride of a mother, while simultane- Dick worked quickly in the low light of
“We’re in the middle of an operation, it ously reprimanding Dean for not knowing what the abandoned cockpit. It didn’t take long to
wouldn’t be prudent to add additional stress should have been ancient history for him. He obtain the jump route the Valkyrie had plotted
to the captain at a time like this,” said Cloey had never really, truly understood the enigma in her primitive computers. He marveled at
levelly. that was Cloey. One of these days he would how easily they were accessed, compared to
have to sit down and have a long talk with her. prior jobs on more modern merchant ships.
Dean took a deep breath. Most times, he
enjoyed life a great deal. At this point, finding “Just make sure little Amelia doesn’t get lost Not that he always worked with top of
the mental certainty and lightheartedness then,” said Dean with the beginnings of a smile. the line equipment, himself, he conceded. His
that had carried him through years of turmoil Cloey and Amelia both gave him angry glares. quantum transmitter would have been consid-
seemed particularly distant. The beast glared ered crude by even the lowest standards, but
at him with its menacing little eyes. “That’s not really funny, Dean,” said Cleoy, the fact that it did the job was all that really
clearly upset. You’d think she knew the woman, mattered. The adaptor now firmly plugged into
“Oh it’s just a kitten, Dean, lighten up!” said thought Dean, taken aback by her sensitivity to their power circuit, the device emitted a soft
Creon from behind him. The seven-foot-tall ex- the issue. orange glow from its screen.
mercenary wore an expression of bemusement
that was entirely unfitting on his scar-lined “Do you two need anything, besides a The wave of disorientation and stomach
face. mental examination that is,” asked Dean finding flipping of passing from the sub-implicate to
no evidence of the attack on his scalp. normal space washed over him. He now had

twenty-four seconds in which to send while know what hit them. In fifteen hours when Dean looked at Dick with an expression of
the astrogation computer fixed their location they translated back out into normal space, pure terror. “We’re doomed!” he said, looking
for the next jump and the Bohm Drive’s hyper the pirate ship Tormenter would be waiting as if to faint.
capacitor recharged. with her electro-pulse cannons ready.
“They might just take the cargo and let us
Dick keyed his message carefully in the # go,” said Dick soothingly.
space above the transmitter while its spatial
recognizers watched his fingers. Dean shook his head. “I very much doubt
For several, terrifying seconds, the interior that, Dick,” he said earnestly while hitting the
“Merchie, automated, two person crew, no of the Tachyon Valkyrie plunged into total intercom switch. “Captain, we’ve just been
weapons, 24 sec. Bohm recycle, Captain and darkness. The emergency lighting kicked on, attacked by pirates and they’re coming in to
Assist armed with std L-Pistols. One oppor- revealing Dean and Dick in the cockpit, with board us at the cargo bay. They’ve got a lock
tunity only along route. Navigation plot file confused looks on their faces that were entirely on us with their weapons,” he said forlornly.
attached. Easy money.” faked.
“Do as they say, Dean. There’s not much
Dick’s pinky tapped the air where send “Our primary power grid’s been shut down choice,” said the captain in a perfectly strained,
would have appeared on a normal holo-key- by an electro-pulse weapon. Low power resigned voice.
board. The device printed “Message Sent And scanners indicate a ship out there!” exclaimed
Received,” across its archaic screen. Dean. Dean looked at Dick and noticed the little
smile starting the corner of his mouth. A deep,
Dick grinned. Another fat prize for the “Pirates?” asked Dick, sounding appropri- sinister part of Dean decided to wipe that smile
taking. He congratulated himself once again ately concerned. off his face.
on his own genius. The pirate trade had been “It has to be,” said Dean, allowing his face to “To the Void with that!” said Dean, making
largely a long shot fishing trip in a galaxy-sized show the mortification that would be natural sure the intercom was turned off. He started
ocean since governments stopped requiring under such circumstances. A million and one plotting a high speed intercept course.
detailed navigation plans of their merchants. things could still go wrong, so the mortification
Plans which could be bought for a heavy per- wasn’t all that hard to emulate. Dick shot him a panicked glance. “What
centage of the sale price on the captured goods, are you doing? You said yourself that your ship
of course. “Looks like they’re transmitting a low band doesn’t have any weapons! They’ll blow us
message,” said Dick, pointing to the flashing apart!” His worry wasn’t at all faked now, Dean
When Dick first proposed his idea to Captain light on the archaic com-panel. noted with pleasure.
Ataki, the old man had bet him a thousand
credits it wouldn’t work. Now, after four suc- Dean nodded grimly and flipped the “No we don’t, but those are pirates out there.
cessful raids having gone off without a hitch switch. The pirates along these lanes have a reputation
in the deep black of interstellar space where
“We’ve got you deadlocked with missiles for doing terrible things to the crews they find
no patrols could touch them, Dick had been
and heavy lasers. If you try to run, we’ll turn going tospacing
before the left over bodies. I’m not
elevated to the rank of First Mate from mere
that barge of yours into scrap metal. We’re says. We may notit,have
stand for no matter what the captain
Deckhand. primary systems, but
coming to relative speed zero and will dock I’ve still got the conventional
at your port side cargo bay,” said a rough sort they get just a little bit closer thrusters!
Dick let a warm smile of satisfaction grace When
his features as he packed up the transmitter I’m going to ram
of voice through the static of the Valkyrie’s right into them and send us both to oblivion!”
and headed for his bunk. These idiots wouldn’t ancient speakers.

said Dean with a snarl of defiance. Inwardly # activated. No way short of explosion and death
he chuckled at Dick’s expression as the man existed of getting out of it. Dean had once had
searched for a reasonable argument. Ten pirates strutted confidently into the it described to him as being the equivalent of
cargo bay of the Tachyon Valkyrie, bearing throwing a pencil into a tub of water. The angle
The scanner plot showed the pirate ship pulsers and turbo-rifles. The Tormenter was and force with which it went in determined
moving into ramming range according to Dean’s now hard-locked onto her prey. where it would come up.
programmed course. The activate thrusters
switch blinked in readiness. The man at the forefront of the grisly band “We had an extra one in reserve. In roughly
bore a wicked scar across his face and had six hours we’ll be right in the middle of three
“Wait! Wait, don’t be hasty here! You have strapped an ancient cutlass to his side as a waiting Republic Heavy Cruisers. You’ve been
no chance of survival if you do that! If you mark of eccentricity. His leering grin at Captain out witted, Captain,” said Dean smugly, grinning
cooperate, they may very well let you live!” said Sedona filled Dean with a sense of rage and at Dick the entire time.
Dick passionately, the sweat on his forehead indignation.
brought a smile to Dean’s face. “We could still kill every last one of you,”
Dean stood with his hands in the air next snarled Captain Ataki.
“Come with me, brother! Stare into the to Captain Sedona and Dick, who held similar
face of the reaper! Let’s show these dogs they poses. “Not really. Our sniper has a bead on your
can’t get away with murder without paying the forehead as we speak,” said Captain Sedona.
ultimate price!” shouted Dean, leaping to his “You can drop the act now, Dick,” said The storage spaces, crawl areas, and mainte-
feet and grabbing Dick by the collar. He made Captain Ataki. Dean and Captain Sedona both nance shafts in the Izar-class light cruiser were
sure to slobber a bit with his snarling oath. refused to show surprise as Dick walked over legendary, and the Valkyrie had been heavily
to join his crew. modified beyond her original design.
“Listen to reason, man! Your own captain
wishes to cooperate! This is madness!” cried “Oh, not impressed are you?” asked Captain “I don’t believe you, kill the—” Ataki’s order
Dick in absolute skittering fear. Ataki sneeringly. never finished, as a tiny smoking hole appeared
in his head. Captain Sedona had signaled Creon
Dean stared at him for several seconds, “Not particularly,” said Captain Sedona, with another finger twitch.
making sure to keep the suicidal gleam in his twitching her right forefinger in a silent signal
eyes. Dick hadn’t wet himself yet, but he had to Arc, watching the vid pick-ups from his The body dropped to the deck, causing
come close enough, Dean supposed. telepad. By now, Cloey had hooked in the spare the rest of the pirates to quickly place their
hyper-capacitor. weapons down.
“Fine. Have it your way, coward! We could
have gone down in glory!” said Dean with The nauseous wave of passing into sub-im- “What are you people?” asked Dick,
mock disappointment, heading towards the plicate space washed over the pirates, bringing shivering with rage and indignation. “Republic
cargo bay. looks of stark disbelief. SS?”
Dick followed on shaky knees. He hadn’t “That’s not possible! We drained your “Nope. Space rogues, actually,” said Dean
had a close call like that in quite some time. If capacitors when we hit you with the pulse!” proudly.
nothing else, the man who called himself Dean said Captain Ataki. No matter what they
was a maniac, and Dick found himself glad that did now, both ships were headed through a “We don’t take kindly to butchers giving the
the man wasn’t in charge of a pirate ship of his sub-path towards whatever destination had rest of us a bad name,” said Captain Sedona,
own. been in the Bohm drive’s computer when it sniffing.

“You never let on that you were on to me. little Amelia in her arms with an expression of He joined the Army in 2001 after the
How did you know?” asked Dick with growing pure joy on her face while Creon looked on like terroist attacks of 9/11 and has deployed to
amazement, despite his rage. a proud father. Iraq a total of three times. During his third
Dean took a bow and drew his laser pistol. “It’s just too bad the miners wouldn’t take deployment, at the age of 32, he decided
“Well, your crew hit merchants docking at Big her in trade for a deck of cards,” said Dean, after a near miss (which is just as safe as a
Sky enough times for the Greater Star Republic knowing full well what would happen. far miss, only more personal) by a mortar
to take notice. They couldn’t figure out how
you were doing it, so they hired us. It didn’t Cloey was on top of him and tickling him in round that it was time to achieve his dream
take me long to not only determine your game, seconds while Amelia leaped over to join in the
of being published.
but to think up a counter to it,” said Dean mas- fun. Captain Sedona followed while Creon and The pen name Andy Heizeler was created
terfully. Arc sat back and laughed.
as a conglomeration of the initials of his
“I’ll be more careful, next time,” said Dick As Dean tried to defend himself through the favorite authors, under which he created
with a glare of pure hatred in his eyes. flurry of fur and tickles, he realized he couldn’t a series of stories about Dean the Space
have been happier.
Dean shrugged. “If the Republic doesn’t Rogue. The first Dean the Space Rogue story
hang you, or put you into a perma-cell to be accepted appeared in the anthology
somewhere, I’m sure you will, Dick,” said Dean “Star Stepping” by Wild Child Press. The
patting the man on the shoulder. second, but first chronologically, “Dean the
Space Rogue,” appeared in Ray Gun Revival
# #40, with another “Galactic Saviors,” that
appeared in Newmyths.com magazine. A
Heavy with barrels of mined and semi- separate story will be appearing in issue 42
refined petroleum, the Tachyon Valkyrie lifted
off the sunless surface of Darkville. Once upon of the print magazine Cosmos, titled “The
a time she had been a vibrant planet with Broken Hourglass.”
multiple life forms. When her star died, the
only thing left behind were the carbon fuels David and his wife Kit have recently
and minerals in her crust. Andy Heizeler moved to the northern artic regions of WI
where they will be rediscovering the joys of
The miners who watched the ship lift deep snow and cars that need to be thawed
happily set to making fresh sandwiches for the David Bridgette started writing at the before starting. Since he is now a U.S. Army
first time in several months. age of ten in 1985 on a Tandy TRS-80 Recruiter, he won’t have as much time for
“Well, despite the potential for complete computer. By 1995, he had enough rejection writing, but assures his small but untimid
disaster, I’d say that went rather smoothly,” slips to account for the shrinking rainforests. fan base that ultimately, more Dean will
said Dean, flopping onto the couch in the mess Off and on he continued writing in spurts,
lounge. come!
submitting randomly but mostly pursuing
Cloey nodded happily as she flung an arm the art of daily living (as opposed to the art
around him companionably. The captain held of daily starving.)

RGR Reviews - Book Reviews Pg. 37
RGR Reviews
Book Reviews
Matthew Winslow, Reviews Editor
January 2008 • A presentation of and commentary on Stross’ novel ought to be in brown paper
the SF genre as a whole. wrappers, behind the counter, inside several
Saturn’s Children by Charles Stross layers of asbestos-impregnated plastic bags
Ace, 2008, 336 pages • An action-adventure tale that spans and under lock-and-key.
the solar system.
I found this aspect of the story to be
Reviewed by Steve Davidson • A mystery/spy thriller story. perhaps the most intriguing (if saying so isn’t
revealing too many of my own peccadilloes).
I’ve just finished Saturn’s Child, Charlie Stross’
homage/send-up of the works of Robert A.
Heinlein and I’m very tempted to restrict my
• A possible commentary on Spider
Robinson’s completion of Heinlein’s
Variable Star (although I’ve not had
Heinlein got progressively sexier as time went
by, culminating in the time-travelling enabled,
incest-laden confusion of To Sail Beyond The
review to a single word: whew! time to examine this contention in Sunset: there isn’t a single form of human
detail). sexuality he didn’t cover, with the exception of
What a ride. This is an extremely complex
• Most definitely several other themes bondage/sado-masochism, and Stross focuses
work that twists together an enormous
I’ve either missed or failed to list. on this omission like the tip of a bullwhip in
number of elements and themes—far too the hands of a master (that’s like saying “with
many to examine in any kind of detail in the For those of you embarking on a doctorate a laser beam” for those of you not familiar
space afforded here. in literature, Saturn’s Children is the kind of with some of the more extreme tools of the
I’ll attempt a summary, just to give text that would provide more than enough S&M trade).
everyone some small idea of what they’re in meat for several dissertations: I’ll suggest that
someone could make a very nice career out of His use of such imagery is deliberate, not
for, because reading Freya’s tale is a must:
charting the references, both overt and subtle, for its erotic content, but because it informs
• A straight re-telling of Heinlein’s Friday, to various works by Heinlein. the overriding theme of the novel, which is
examining the various Heinleinesque that all of Heinlein’s social commentary was
social contentions and offering alter- That’s not to say that Saturn’s Children is dreck, borne out of some misguided belief
native viewpoints. some kind of dry, academic polemic. Far from that mankind’s sole motivator is love. Saturn’s
it. In fact, the single most appropriate word Children amply demonstrates that love can
• An exploration of every single work to use to describe this novel is “juicy,” and I twist us just as easily as it can save us, and
Heinlein ever wrote, more often than use that with every single possible sexual con- that it has resulted in the former far more fre-
not from a humorous perspective. notation deliberately in mind. quently than the latter.
• A compilation of contemporary social Be forewarned: if sex in science fiction is a The story is a somewhat complicated one:
issues (global warming, for example) problem for you, don’t read Heinlein’s Friday Freya—the Friday stand-in—is a humaniform
and science fiction tropes (singular- and stay far away from Saturn’s Children. If robot created to serve as a sex toy. Unfortu-
ity, for example), mixed together and fetish sex—particularly of the S&M variety—is nately, the human race has gone extinct and
yielding a variety of viewpoints on something you believe should remain hidden Freya has no one to ‘imprint’ on. Her type of
those issues. behind brown paper wrappers, well then, robot is programmed to fall in love, deeply,

totally and submissively in love, with the

human owner who purchases them.
other contemporary issues in, such as global
warming and the growing fight between the
“new atheists” and fundamentalists and his
A rtificial humans abound in science fiction,
from Karel Capek’s R.U.R. and Fritz Lang’s
Metropolis to the present day. Robots and
Stross examines what this kind of pro- take on these is just as refreshingly humorous androids and their ilk have become a trope
grammed love means throughout the story as everything else in the novel. in SF. Originality in such a situation lies not in
and it serves as an analogy for “true” human coming up with something completely new,
love. Are humans deeply in love still beings Saturn’s Children is highly recommended but in how one uses traditional SF elements.
of free will? Are they capable of making for everyone; Heinlein fans are particularly
rational decisions? Are their motivations to be encouraged to give it a read: you may not like Thus it may be helpful to say what Austra-
trusted? everything you see, but you will most assuredly lian author Joel Shepherd’s Cassandra Kresnov
recognize Heinlein’s style of presentation and series is not. Although there are occasional
Freya, on the verge of personal bankruptcy, pacing, and if nothing else, it will have you philosophical discussions in the books, they are
falls in with a courier service that is really a running to the stacks to make comparisons. not a meditation on the meaning of humanity
secret espionage/assassination organization I’m sure I’ll be re-reading this one multiple as in Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of
and gets embroiled in a war between various times, and I’ll be finding something else that Electric Sheep? Although the series has its
factions of robots, some of whom are bent on will intrigue and amuse me every single time “android-on-the-run” moments, its world is
resurrecting the human race and others just as I do. not the brooding dystopia of Blade Runner.
desperately trying to prevent this.
Steve Davidson Although intrigue and cyberspace both play
a role in Shepherd’s novels, they are not an
Along the way she travels to virtually every Steve Davidson has been an SF fan since exercise in paranoia such as anime’s Ghost in
planet in the solar system (in a sequence that watching his first episode of Fireball XL5. the Shell.
I believe has some relationship to Heinlein’s
novels, although I’ve not yet broken the code), He is currently the ‘crotchety’ behind the Instead, the Cassandra Kresnov series is
and while doing so, Stross manages to squeeze Crotchety Old Fan blog and is the curator military SF, “space opera” in the action-ad-
in a mention of, so far as I can tell, every single of The Classic Science Fiction Channel, a venture sense of the term. Shepherd’s future
story Heinlein ever wrote. Without working at is a bright and happy place, at least on the
it I found imagery reminiscent of Glory Road, website devoted to classic science fiction film,
planet Callay where the novels are set. There
Stranger in a Strange Land, Time Enough For television, radio and print. He can be found at are, of course, dark forces that threaten this
Love, Farmer in the Sky, Universe, Space Cadet, www.rimworlds.com/thecrotchetyoldfan happiness, both from within and without, but
and on and on. In every single instance, Stross the main character and her allies are able to
offers a different, if not always contradictory, rise to the occasion to defend the planet from
take on Heinlein’s points of view. Crossover by Joel Shepherd each new threat.
Pyr, 2006. 459 pages
Stross also deals in contrarian fashion with The first novel, Crossover, introduces us
the singularity concept, dismissing it out of Breakaway by Joel Shepherd to Captain Cassandra Kresnov, Sandy as she is
hand by having the human race simply fading Pyr, 2007. 427 pages known to her friends. She is a GI, an artificial
away and going extinct. Humanity’s works, person created by the population-deficient but
unfinished, have been left behind, abandoned Killswitch by Joel Shepherd technologically superior League to fight in its
(like a thrown-over lover I shouldn’t have to Pyr, 2007. 451 pages war with the more conservative Federation.
point out) to go their own confused way. When the war comes to a close, Sandy defects
Reviewed by Donald Jacob Uitvlugt
to the Federation and is looking for employ-
Stross also manages to throw a few

ment under a false name in the Callay capital command is our own Cassandra Kresnov. But fault of my own imagination.
city of Tanusha. But the old guards of both the when Sandy’s lover, Special Agent Ari Ruben,
League and the Federation have reasons to discovers a plot to kill her using a killswitch the Crossover and Breakaway were first
want Sandy, both for the secrets in her head League built into her brainstem, she is forced published in Shepherd’s native Australia, where
and the technological advances she embodies. to go underground just to stay alive. they were short-listed in 1998 and 1999 for
the George Turner Prize. I’m not sure why the
When she thwarts an assassination attempt Mr. Shepherd masterfully interweaves U.S. edition was picked up by a smaller house
on the Callayan president, Sandy finds herself Sandy’s personal story with the presentation like Pyr (the Australian editions are by Harp-
embroiled not only in her own struggle from of a richly detailed future galaxy. In the course erCollins, Australia’s imprint, Voyager), but it
freedom and survival, but in politics on an of the series, we get tantalizing glimpses of a seems to have done very well by the company.
interplanetary level. She also finds friends future that is (refreshingly) not Eurocentric. The My copy of Crossover indicates it is in at least
in the leader of one of Tanusha’s few SWAT Federation has a strong Indian influence, with its third printing, and starting in 2009, Pyr is
teams, Lt. Vanessa Rice, and in the head of the strong Arabic and African subcultures. Indeed, issuing mass-market paperbacks of the series.
Callayan Security Authority, Shan Ibrahim. With one of the points of Callayan politics seems to This marks Pyr’s first foray into this format.
President Katia Neiland, these remain Sandy’s be finding a way for all cultures to have a voice.
strongest allies throughout the series. The technocratic League has a strongly Chinese For fans of military SF and action-adventure
cast, to grossly oversimplify. SF with strong female characters, the Cassandra
The second novel, Breakaway, set three Kresnov series is not to be missed. I hope there
months after the events in Crossover, sees For me, it was hard not to read at least will be many more volumes to come.
Sandy finding her way in Tanushan society. She parts of the politics of the story as a Southern
has legal status and a place on Vanessa’s SWAT Hemisphere commentary on 21st-century glo- #
team. But the political forces her presence set balization, with the Federation as a stand-in
in motion have led to a referendum on Callay for the U.S., the League for China, and Callay Off Armageddon Reef by David Weber
breaking away from the Federation. Sandy’s for Australia. Such a reading may just be inter- Tor, 2007, 789 pages
personal life again intersects with interplanetarypolation on my part, but it points to how well
politics as she attempts to keep terrorists and developed and plausible Shepherd’s future By Schism Rent Asunder by David Weber
outside interests from interfering in Callayan history is. Tor, 2008, 511 pages
politics. To further complicate matters, a del-
egation from the League has recently arrived More importantly, the politics never get in Four centuries in the future, mankind
in Tanusha. Do they truly represent a change in the way of the action. has spread to the stars, forming the Terran
League policies, or are they merely attempting Federation. However, mankind is soon faced
I find the Cassandra Kresnov series to be with its greatest challenge in the form of the
to lure Sandy back into the League’s fold? well written, in the highest sense of the term: alien Gbaba who are intent on wiping out all
The third novel, Killswitch, is set two years the author’s prose is completely transparent mankind with no remorse at all. It is not long
after Breakaway. Callay has stayed in the Fed- to the story. Shepherd’s training in film tells before the Gbaba focus in on Earth itself, the
eration, but on the condition that the Federa- to good effect. He makes complicated action last planet left of the Terran Federation. The
tion capital be moved from Earth to Callay. This sequences very “watchable,” and I know I’m Terrans know they cannot stand up to the
has understandably caused friction. A faction of not the only one who would love to see a might of the Gbaba, as they’ve watched one
Fleet captains threaten to blockade the planet. Cassandra Kresnov movie. I did on occasion planet after another destroyed and utterly
All Callay has to oppose the Fleet is the nascent have some difficulty visualizing his presenta- annihilated by the Gbaba’s strength. With their
Callayan Defense Force, whose second-in- tion of cyberspace. But that could well be a death imminent, the humans of Earth devise

one last attempt to save mankind. A fleet of become Merlin Anthrawes, a seijin of Safe- one, allowing Weber to play with the best
Terran ships takes off from Earth on the eve of holdian legend, a combination of holy warrior fantasy tropes in an SFnal world. One of the
Earth’s destruction. Part of that fleet is a decoy and superman. complaints that some readers have with fantasy
to distract the Gbaba from the rest of the is its penchant for medieval worlds (a result of
fleet whose objective is to escape unnoticed As Merlin, Nimue works her way into the the ur-fantasy novel Lord of the Rings being set
and establish a colony elsewhere, far from the confidence of the king of the Safeholdian in such a world). Weber cleverly constructs a
Gbaba’s notice. kingdom of Charis, Haarahld Ahrmahk. Merlin world wherein there is a reason for this level
soon shows the Charisians a few ways to of technology while still having an SFnal back-
This desperate act to save the human improve the rudimentary technology of their ground to the series. It is an almost perfect
race works and a planet is soon found for the weapons in order to give them the technologi- blend of science fiction and fantasy.
eight million colonists who are in hiberna- cal edge over their neighbors. The Charisians
tion. However, since it was technology that don’t have any intentions of world domina- This is a story told on an epic scale—in the
attracted the Gbaba to the Terran Federation, tion; they just want to have freedom from the back of the second volume there is a ten-page
the founders of the colony determine that they oppressive religious leaders and their Inquisi- character list—but Weber has the skill to
must wipe the minds of all the colonists and set tion. However, the Church will have none of create realistic characters in just a few pages.
up the new world in such a way that technology that and begins a war against Charis, the results Oddly enough, the least developed character is
will never rise above the level of Renaissance- of which will have long lasting ramifications for his main character, Merlin/Nimue, who keeps
era Earth. However, there is soon a division all of Safehold. himself/herself aloof from the characters and
between the founders with the winning group thus we learn about her only mostly through
setting itself up as godlike ‘archangels’ and The second book of the series, By Schism interior monologues. Still, there are enough
establishing a religion that will not only restrict Rent Asunder, picks up almost immediately other characters of depth to keep the reader
the technology but also hamper the growth of after the ending of Off Armageddon Reef. busy keeping track of everyone.
the colony in many ways. Haarahld’s son Cayleb is now on the throne of
Charis. Charis may have won the great battle I have no idea how long this series is
Fast forward nearly a millennium. The at the end of the previous book, but that is just projected to go. Weber could take it all the way
colony of Safehold has prospered well since the beginning of the problems that Charis faces to a final battle with the Gbaba, or he could
its founding, but the Church of God Awaiting as it finds itself against the rest of the world end it sooner, but either way, I’m anxious to
has exerted a stranglehold on the people of of Safehold. However, the other Safeholdian see how it ends up. Weber has given us what
Safehold, subjecting the people to its will. Little kingdoms and nations have seen a tiny bit of could be a quite memorable series that has the
do they know, though, that the losing division the freedom that Charis is fighting for and epic scale of George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice
in the war of the founders had a backup plan. they also begin to see just how manipulative and Fire without the relentless, depressing plot
Under a mountain lies a bunker that contains the Church has become, controlling the wills that marks that series.
an android avatar that holds the personal- of its people. Soon there is a division between
ity of Nimue Alba, one of the last humans to those who will follow the Church and those Donald Jacob Uitvlugt
die at the hands of the Gbaba. Nimue’s avatar who want to fight for personal freedom and
runs on such low power that the Gbaba would autonomy. Sides are drawn up and allegiances
never discover it. Nimue is shocked by what struck. The novel ends very much in media res Donald Jacob Uitvlugt grew up in western
she finds and using her nearly superhuman as Cayleb and his forces are about to head out Michigan and now lives in Arkansas with
powers, she sets out to help the humans beat to war against the Church. his wife and dog. He can be contacted via
off the yoke of the oppressive church and work www.myspace.com/DonaldJacobUitvlugt
toward freedom. She modifies her avatar to The concept of this series is a very clever

Featured Artist: Inga Nielsen Pg. 41
Featured Artist
Inga Nielsen
Name: Inga Nielsen
Age: 25
Country of residence: Germany
Hobbies: digital art, writing novels,
photography, painting, sewing, everything
creative
Favorite Book / Author: Hitchhikers Guide
to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Favorite Artist: My mother.
When did you start creating art? As a
child in kindergarten, painting my first
images, but digital art in 2000.
What media do you work in? I paint
images by using a graphics tablet, I use
Photoshop CS3, and every now and then
a little Terragen as well.
Where your work has been featured?
Astronomy Picture Of The Day (NASA),
Advanced Photoshop, to name two.
Where should someone go if they wanted to view / buy some of your works? My homepage: www.gatetonowhere.de and
posters, mugs, cards and calendars at www.zazzle.com/inganielsen

How did you become an artist?

I looked for wallpapers for my
computer on the web and found
several fantastic wallpaper sites
where I collected hundreds of
images. But then one day I found a
website where I could download a
free scenery program called Terragen,
and I tried it. I still work with
Terragen sometimes, but mainly with
Photoshop.
What were your early influences?
What are your current influences?
The beauty of nature.
What inspired the art for the cover? I
wanted to paint something cold, and
I like how light shines through ice.
So I tried to catch it in Photoshop.
Moreover “Cold Fire” is meant to
be some kind of counterpart to my
image “Reign of Fire.”
How would you describe your work?
It is my attempt to “travel” to worlds I
will probably never get to see in reality. My images show alien worlds and surreal worlds and also some fantasy scenes.
Where do you get your inspiration / what inspires you? Looking up to the stars and thinking of what may be possible out
there. I’ve traveled a lot in my life and nature can do amazing things. Like rain forests at Bali or hot springs in Iceland or the
tropical storms of Florida. Everything has a beauty which is unique.

Have you had any notable failures, and how has failure affected your work? No.
What have been your greatest successes? How has success impacted you / your work? My greatest success was my first
success because it made my artwork become famous. One of my images, “Hideaway,” got stolen and sent around via email.
The one who sent the mail called it a photograph of a “Sunset at the North Pole.” It went around the world, and I found it
everywhere. It was, and still is, something I cannot stop, but it also is some kind of viral marketing (just do a quick search
in image search of Google for “sunset at the north pole” and you will know what I mean by “cannot stop”). One day an
astronomer from NASA emailed me, he wanted to feature the image as Astronomy Picture of the Day. This was my first big
success with my artwork.
What are your favorite tools / equipment for producing your art? My graphics tablet and sometimes my mouse.
What tool / equipment do you wish you had? A computer with more speed. I still work in Photoshop with 1GB of RAM which
is not much.



Calamity’s Child
Chapter Six, Rites of Passage - Dante’s Fourth, by Gaslight, Part One by M. Keaton Pg. 46
Calamity’s Child
Chapter Six, Rites of Passage - Dante’s Fourth, by
Gaslight, Part One
by M. Keaton
T he quality of the station-to-ground shuttle
surprised him. Ivan had assumed, even
within the outer Hedge, the equipment would
Noticing Ivan, the man stood and moved
to the seat across the aisle. “First trip to
Toulouse?” Blue Boy asked conversationally.
in free elections, old money and familial con-
nections retained control in the form of the
“nobles” of the Outer Hedge, many of whom
be crisp and new on a level that would make had more money than sense.
the Frontier look like the primitive place the “If that’s where we are.”
Hedge’s inhabitants insisted it was. Instead, the “I find commercial transport refreshing,”
Blue Boy laughed, a condescending chuckle. Blue Boy continued. “A reminder of less pros-
shuttle reminded him of an old pair of boots, “You’re here for the Salle des Armes then? I perous days.”
functional but not much more. Worse, really; rather thought so. You don’t seem the type for
old boots were comfortable. The upholstery sightseeing.” Ivan was in no mood to hear the man’s life
was threadbare, the padding below showing story. “What about them?” he asked, tilting his
through in places, and several armrests were Ivan snorted. “If the rest of the place is like head toward the fops in the back.
broken completely off. The entire passenger this shuttle, there’s not much to see.”
compartment rattled like it was minutes away “Slumming,” Blue Boy said contemptuously.
from vibrating apart. Most telling, the seats “It does have a certain ambiance, doesn’t He studied Ivan closely. “You’re left handed?”
were darkened by stains and the floor was it?” Blue Boy grinned. “This is a commercial Ivan glanced down at the inflatable cast still
sticky. If this was ‘civilization,’ he was not shuttle. Most of the Fancy come in on private sheathing the upper half of his right arm, shook
impressed. The worst ferry House employed to charters. Some on their own yachts.” his head. “Then you’re not participating?”
fetch his customers was a palace by compari-
son. “The Fancy?” “I’m a second,” Ivan replied. “Whatever
that is.”
The rattling became louder as it entered “A colloquialism. The lesser nobility of the
atmosphere. Ivan hid his discomfort by glancing Outer Hedge. The Salle’s patrons, as it were.” Blue Boy laughed again. “I find the honesty
at the other passengers. Despite its cramped He sniffed. “I suppose I might be considered to of you frontiersmen delightful. In the Hedge,
feeling, the shuttle was mostly empty. A mother fall within that description.” everyone thinks they have to know everything.
struggled to quiet a pair of crying children at To admit ignorance is a sign of weakness.
Ivan nodded. Theoretically, the entire
the front of the compartment; a cluster of Foolish, I say.” He folded his hands and leaned
Hegemony was democratic but, the farther
elaborately dressed fops monopolized the back in the seat. “Truly, the position of a second
removed a world was from the core, the
back, breathing through scented handkerchiefs is largely symbolic, a historic hold-over from
farther it moved away from the official feder-
and talking in high-pitched nasal voices. The the early days of dueling. Traditionally, the
alism. That was the main difference between
rest of the shuttle was scattered with bored second would take over if the main combatant
the Inner and Outer Hedge, the autonomy of
commuters and sleeping laborers. Ivan caught couldn’t fulfill their duties. But in the Salle, a
the planets and their people. The Outer Hedge
a familiar face, looked again, recognized the fighter will simply withdraw. Today, the second
was founded by private corporations and spe-
man—one of the potlatch players from Selous. is more of a coach, moral support more than
cialized personal interests. Generations later,
He might not have remembered him had it not anything.” He turned to face across the aisle
a clear economic aristocracy remained. Even
been for the van dyke and pale blue suit. again. “Who are you the second for?”

Calamity’s Child
“Quicksilver Rose.” and scanned the area; how hard could it be to sang down the sides of the street. Most were
find a woman with silver eyes and bright pink selling tickets of a dozen styles and durations—
Blue Boy clapped his hands together. hair? full event, daily, single match, by the seat, by
“Wonderful woman. I’ve employed her on arena, by duelist—the list seemed endless,
several occasions for personal protection. Someone tugged at his pant leg and he and needlessly complicated.
She’s one of the favorites to take the cup. She’s looked down at a pale skull speckled with liver
done it four or five times now. She may have spots and tufts of coarse hair at the edges. The “Ignore them,” Fagan said as they passed.
trouble with Aswan, though. He’s the other man was thick, short and wide, not strong. He “You’re part of the Salle itself. You can go
favorite, a real firebrand. The odds-makers are looked up at Ivan with black-bean eyes through anywhere anytime. The tickets are largely
split, giving three-to-two on them both. I’ve a heavy lids. “Mister Steponovich?” Ivan lip-read to fleece the Fancy. Ah, there’s our ride.” He
few coins riding on each. That’s what I go for, as much as heard the man. stopped, pointing to a black carriage clattering
the gambling. Not as exciting as potlatch, mind behind a four-horse team.
you, but it promises to be quite the exciting He stepped off the chair, found himself still
pair of weeks.” A buzzer sounded and a warning head and shoulders above the older man. “You “Horse and buggy?” Ivan asked.
light flashed at the front of the compartment. are?”
Fagan shrugged. “It’s an affectation. The
“Well, back to my seat then. Good luck and “Fagan, sir. I’m a friend of Rose. She asked Salle des Armes is more than just a competition;
welcome to Toulouse.” me to meet you.” Ivan raised an eyebrow. it’s an event. Part of that involved cultivating
The shuttle landed as smoothly as it flew. “She’s been delayed. She’s still having her guns the illusion of old-world gentility. It makes the
Ivan waited until the other passengers were checked in. We’ll have to get you over there, nobles happy. And happy nobles spend.”
squeezing down the exit ramp before prying too, but since you’re a second it shouldn’t take
near as long.” The driver swung from the coach, set a
his fingers loose from the armrest. He pulled stepstool on the ground, held open the carriage
his duffle from beneath the seat and made for Ivan nodded and followed the man toward door. Once they were inside, he replaced the
the door. the exit. stool on the coach and closed the door, leaving
Stepping into the diffused sunlight of them alone, facing each other. Ivan twisted to
“You have luggage?” Fagan shouted over the side to gain room to extend his legs.
Toulouse, Blue Boy’s reference to private his shoulder.
charters and yachts took on a new perspec- “So how’s this all work?” he asked.
tive. The shuttle rested a good half-mile from “Just this.” Ivan shrugged the duffle on his
the terminal. The fops were met by an electric shoulder. “The Salle des Armes began sixty years
shuttle tram; everyone else walked, except for ago—give or take a bit—as a means to diffuse
Blue Boy who stood chatting with the shuttle’s Fagan’s back hunched and his head bobbed tensions between the professional dueling
crew. By the end of his walk, Ivan had ample as if he were laughing. “Your kind travels light. houses.” Fagan’s tone was pedantic, almost
opportunity to observe the dozens of high- They give you any trouble about traveling with bored, delivering a lecture he had memorized
price luxury transports privileged with closer your guns? They’re a little touchier here than and delivered until he heard it in his sleep.
docking slots and a much clearer understanding on the Frontier.” Ivan did not answer. Whoever “Private quarrels between duelists and the
of the economic disparity of the Outer Hedge. ‘they’ were, they had not been present. If the desire of aspirants to prove themselves against
It was not very different from the Frontier. shuttle had security regulations, he had not seasoned pros were interfering with the
noticed. proper scheduling of duels and resulting in too
The terminal was a swirling maelstrom of many needless deaths. Which is a fancy way of
bodies and voices. Ivan stepped onto a chair Outside the terminal, the cry of barkers saying personalities were getting in the way of

Calamity’s Child
profits. The Salle was instituted to resolve it by “I hadn’t finished,” Fagan said. “Injury and Fagan smiled tightly. “She knows you’re
staging all of the personal conflicts at one time death were the original options. There are being picked up.”
under a controllable setting. It only took a few three options now. The original two remain
years until it was converted into a tournament as a matter of tradition, although injury has “What do you want, Fagan?” Ivan returned
form—single elimination, obviously. Over its been changed to live fire. In its case, it’s not the smile.
history, the Salle has become increasingly safer necessary to actually wound an opponent, “I wanted to see what kind of man you
and, now, also serves as a kind of tradeshow merely demonstrate superiority. If a duelist were, Mister Steponovich.”
for duelists. Clients can examine the merchan- is fast enough, they don’t actually have to
dise firsthand and the duelists showcase their pull the trigger.” Fagan steepled his fingers in “Seen enough?”
talents. It also helps managers and bookers front of his face. “The real method now is light
compare fighters and arrange more equitable tagging.” Fagan looked amused. “Enough, I think.”
duels and set fairer odds.”
“Lasers?” Ivan nodded and looked back out the
Ivan kept his opinions to himself. Instead, window.
he asked, “How are gunfights ‘safer’?” “Very low power with electronic scoring.
With the rare exception, the other two options #
“Rose has probably already told you, the aren’t used. Oh, a personal grudge match
Salle aspires to be a bloodless duel. Origi- here and there, maybe the occasional kid who “Fool humans get out!” Red Dog bellowed.
nally, fighters could choose between injury or thinks he can attract more attention using live He carried a heavy wooden staff in both sets
death. If they disagreed, the more violent form fire, but it’s considered poor form and strongly of arms and pounded them against the Orion’s
prevailed.” discouraged.” deck to drive home his point. Like any ship of its
“If one wants death and one doesn’t, too Ivan turned back from the window. “I’m size, the Orion had its share of drifters, drunks,
bad,” Ivan said, leaning to peer through the not impressed,” he said flatly. hard cases and hard-luck stories. An already
slatted windows of the coach. upset Red Dog had drawn the short straw and
“With the Salle des Armes?” been sent to clear the squatters.
“Sadly, yes.” Fagan followed Ivan’s gaze.
“Don’t let the appearances fool you, Mister “With civilization,” Ivan replied with a “Says who?” a voice roared back as a fistful
Steponovich. Toulouse is an advanced world. humorless smile. “The illusion’s stretched a of toughs stood from their craps game.
They put a lot of work into hiding it, but it’s still bit thin in places. Unless all the people on the
streets are actors.” “Says Red Dog!” The alien snapped a staff
an illusion. The best medical care is available, forward and down, cracking into the nearest
the food is excellent, and the standard of “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking man’s knees. He screamed and fell, grabbing
living for even the poorest is better than the about,” Fagan said stiffly. his broken leg. “With stick!”
average on the Frontier. Even the matches are
broadcast across much of the Hedge and the “I’m sure you don’t.” He stared at Fagan. The others boiled at him, swinging a motley
recordings packaged and sold. The Salle itself is The other man met his gaze coolly. “And you?” of broken bottles, chains, knives, and fists. Red
only held once a year, but from those earnings Ivan asked. “What’s your role in all this?” Dog met them halfway, happy to give vent to
the people of Toulouse live quite well.” his own anger. The staves were thick as a man’s
“Just a friend of Rose, Mister Stepon- leg and seven feet long. Driven with two tons of
Ivan gave a noncommittal grunt, uncon- ovich.” alien muscle, they tore through the squatters
vinced. “Even with good doctors, still doesn’t like battering rams. It was a satisfying effect.
sound very safe.” “Does she know you’re picking me up?”

Calamity’s Child
When the last two broke and ran, he let them # “Non-shooting. If I get hurt and can’t
go. compete, we’ll withdraw. Since you won’t have
Fagan pointed Ivan toward a line stretch- to duel, you don’t have to reg your gun. Who
“Clean up, deck thirty-two,” he buzzed over ing out of a broad pavilion, then left with the told you you did?”
the moaning that filled the passageway. coach. Weapon registration was all the crowd
and noise of the shuttle terminal without the “Nobody important. You’re all set, then?”
“I believe,” Dell’s voice said through the
overhead speaker, “that House’s purpose in confusion. The hillside where he stood had no She held up a clip with a gold seal stuck
forbidding you to use guns was to reduce casu- permanent buildings; tents and pavilions of across the top. “Good to go. Come on.” She
alties.” varying sizes and color like an invasion of giant hooked his good arm in hers. “Let’s get out of
mushrooms. A light breeze snapped canvas and this madhouse.”
“Red Dog is not hurt.” muslin against metal poles and gave the entire
site a shimmer like heat haze. People stood “Thought you used lasers.” He allowed
“I’m dispatching medical response teams in lines, milled in clumps, and ran between himself to be led through the crowd.
to tend to the wounded.” tents, all with no apparent reason or logic, a
controlled chaos. He took his place in line and “We do. But we use our own guns—throws
Red Dog waved his upper cilia in what waited, distinctly uncomfortable. your draw off if you don’t—so they modify the
passed for a shrug. “Where is next batch?” ammo instead. That’s what takes so long.”
“Ivan!” He heard the voice a moment before
“House has a different project for you. she wrapped her arms around him. The world “Didn’t know it could be done at all.”
Something has come up,” replied the speaker. smelled of strawberries and his broken arm
“He needs you to go to Earth.” throbbed in her grasp. It was almost healed, “I don’t think they can with anything high-
the cast now functioning as a precaution powered.” Rose shouldered her way through
Red Dog’s exoskeleton clattered as it a conversation, pulling Ivan behind her. “You
rippled. “Dell means second-rate replacement against re-injury while the bones and muscles
regained their strength. hungry?”
planet fool humans call Earth now?”
“Hello, Rose,” he said, disentangling himself “I could eat. Need to get a room and drop
“I believe House’s intent is clear.” off my stuff, though.”
with a smile. “You look happy.”
“Why not send Ivan?” Red Dog already “Okay.” She released him long enough to hop
knew the answer. “I am.” Silver eyes blinked in the sun. “Sorry
about the arm.” into the street and wave at one of the passing
carriages. “You’re with me at the Victoria. It’s
“Ivan is away. That’s why House has asked
“Didn’t feel a thing,” he lied. “Looks like I’m a bed and breakfast.” She looked back over her
for your services.”
going to be in line for a while.” shoulder long enough to flash him a mocking
The Cillian tilted the wedge of his head to grin. “Only the best for us gunners.”
one side, gnawed the end of a staff with his “Why?” She pushed hair away from her face
as she surveyed the line. “This is for weapon “Separate rooms, I hope.”
mandibles. “Fine. Red Dog goes.”
registration. You’re a silent second. You don’t
even have to show up for my matches if you Rose laughed and pulled him toward a
“Your ship leaves in an hour,” Dell said,
don’t want to.” coach.
adding, “House suggests you get a good
lawyer.” The Victoria was almost a mile outside of
“Silent second?”
town, a four-story Georgian mansion rising

Calamity’s Child
above manicured gardens behind a wall of softly, arriving at a sideboard laden with a I mean, this is the last time I get to stay in a
cedars. The coach stopped on raked gravel buffet that rivaled the Orion’s best, “I have place like this and be a big shot. I wanted to
opposite a reflecting pool. never wanted anything as much as I want this. enjoy it one more time and go out on top. And
Even if House wasn’t waiting with an open to share it with you.”
“This has got to cost a fortune,” Ivan door, even if it meant losing everything.”
muttered, stepping to the ground. “And the other part?”
“I know,” Ivan replied, reaching past her
“Free for me,” Rose countered, took a deep for a plate. “So why don’t you tell me what I’m “Fagan said that if I won, he’d sell my marker
breath of evergreen air. “All past champions really doing here.” Rose ignored him, piling a to House. I owe him that much.”
and their guests stay for free during the Salle.” plate with fruit and cubed cheese while Ivan Ivan kept his tone light. “Fagan?”
cobbled together a passable sandwich from
“And you want to leave all this?” slivers of real food. “As near as I can tell, a “My manager, owner really. He’s a real
Her face clouded. “You know why.” She stump could be your second for all the work sweetheart; you’d like him.”
rebounded quickly, pushing her thoughts away. involved,” he continued, following her to sit at
“But the fringe benefits are sweet.” An elderly the end of a long table. “And why do you need “Maybe.” Ivan hid his frown behind his
man in purple livery met them. Rose passed a second? If House is buying your marker, why sandwich. “And if you lose?”
Ivan’s duffle to him. “Mister Steponovich’s fight in the Salle at all?”
She shook her head dismissively. “He’ll sell
room.” She spun back to Ivan, the server She sighed leaning her elbows on the table. it anyway. He just wants me to do my best. It’s
forgotten. “Now, to the dining room. We’re “Because I’m scared, all right?” important for his business, so it doesn’t look
early for tea, but there’s always something.” like I’m bailing because of some kind of inside
“Of?” information.”
Ivan opened his mouth to speak to the
servant, but the man stopped him with a stiff “I don’t know. Of something.” She waved Ivan remained silent. Given the difficulty
bow and left, backing up a step before turning her hands as she spoke, emphasizing her frus- and cost of buying a neurologically enhanced
away. Ivan lifted his jaw and followed Rose. tration. “This is like the biggest change in my duelist’s marker, the explanation did not make
“You seem to know your way around.” adult life; everything’s riding on it. I kind of sense to him. “You’re sure he’d still sell?” he
wanted somebody in my corner that I could asked at last.
“This is the best part of being a duelist. count on.”
Once a year I get to be something other than a “Yes. No. I don’t know.” A bit of fear leaked
killer, and I’m good at it. Of course I know my “Thank you.” past silver eyes. “He will—I’m sure. Doesn’t
way around. I’d live here if I could.” She breezed matter. I’m going to win.”
past the man holding open the door as if he Rose shrugged, popped a piece of cheese
were a statue. Ivan nodded to him awkwardly into her mouth. “You don’t know enough “I know.” He turned to watch as another
and followed. “Parts of dueling I’ll miss. Just people to have an agenda.” pair of guests entered the room.
not many parts.”
Ivan choked a laugh around a mouthful Neither man was small—the first stood an
“Not too late to change your mind.” of bread, coughed until he caught his breath. easy six-five, the other only marginally shorter.
“Explain to me why you have to do this Salle From the curved brim of a bowler hat to heavy
Rose snorted, heels clattering on the thing at all. House didn’t tell me.” black boots with a well-oiled greatcoat in
parquet floor of the dining room. Ivan’s boots between, the first was dressed completely in
boomed hollowly behind her. “Ivan,” she said “Honestly, part of it is I want to show off. black. Curling black muttonchops and looming

Calamity’s Child
eyebrows framed a wide face with an equally him and yet politely distant at the same time. him, his liver would’ve. Better he went in his
wide nose. A short ebony cane swung in his Ivan motioned toward the open seats while boots.” He gave Ivan a speculative look. “Don’t
hand, held at the middle. The gun on his hip introductions were made all around. suppose you’re looking for a job, are you?”
was the flat black of an anvil and almost as
big. “Didn’t think this would be your kind of Ivan grimaced. “I’ve got a full plate right
thing,” Ivan said mildly as Kingfisher dropped now.”
His companion was narrower, a thin frame into the chair beside him. Their companions
layered with muscle, and carried his hat in his were busily discussing other duelists and their Kingfisher laughed, a hearty, full throated
hand—the beige felt of the cowboy hat had chances. sound that filled the room. “That you do.”
seen better days. Like the sleeveless leather He looked deliberately at Ivan’s mangled
vest and the red bandana around the man’s The older man smiled, his lips curling to sandwich, swung his boots to the floor with a
neck, the hat had been scored by years of match his mustache. “You mean a bunch of thud. “Come on, Rounder. Leave the people to
wind-blown dust and bleached by the light of a nancys playing gunfighter?” He chuckled. “No, eat in peace.” He stood, inclined his head to
dozen suns. The man’s face fared only slightly don’t reckon it’s my kind of thing. From the Rose. “’Scuse us, ma’am.” Without waiting for
better than his clothes, burned red and set in looks of you, you neither.” a response, he turned for the door. Rounder
a permanent squint. A white beard peaked looked heavenward for patience and hurried
Ivan shook his head. “Just here as a favor to follow.
sharply from his jutting chin and his mustache to a friend.”
was waxed into a broad handlebar, coiled at “Interesting,” Ivan said when the two men
the ends like rope. Kingfisher leaned his chair back, swung were out of sight.
his boot onto the table. “I’m recruiting. Got
Rose touched Ivan’s hand to get his another batch of greenhorns shot out from “What?” Rose’s voice was muffled by a
attention. “The one in black is called Rounder,” under me and have to build up a new crew. mouthful of food.
she said quietly. “I don’t know the other.” Damned annoying. But, I can spot potential
and this as good a place to scout ‘em out as “Why’d they come in here then just
“Kingfisher.”
any. They never do very well in this sugar waltz. leave?”
“You know him?” I’ll be gone in a couple of days. Any of ‘em hold Rose lifted her shoulders. “Looking for
their water an’ do any good at this,” he nodded
Ivan shook his head. “I know of him.” somebody?”
across the table, “I’ll have Rounder bring ‘em
A legend on the Frontier, Kingfisher was a later. Looks like he’s the closest thing I’ve got “You?”
throwback to the days when there was no law to a partner now.”
and even the bounty system was a hopeful “Doubt it.” She swallowed, hesitated
dream. “What about the Kentuckian?” Ivan asked, between bites. “Did you notice that Kingfish-
recalling the other half of the fabled duo. er pronounces his name like it’s a title? King
Rounder looked toward them, and Rose Fisher, two words.”
lifted a hand in greeting. “Dead.”
“He’s earned it,” Ivan said, returning his
“Rose, my culley. What a delight to find you “Sorry to hear that.” attention to the jumbled sandwich and an
here.” Rounder crossed the room to greet her,
“Don’t be.” Kingfisher twisted his mustache empty stomach.
pecked her smartly on the cheeks.
between his fingers. “He was damned hard to
Kingfisher followed, managing to be with get along with. ‘Sides, if a bullet hadn’t got

Calamity’s Child
# workstation and drifted to shake Max’s hand. It ship’s engines.”

was like watching smoke, a curled wisp of gray
Beta Max pulled himself along the passage wafting through the gloom. Solomon was taller “Aren’t they all?” Max asked.
to the Hecate’s bridge, Rainmaker’s bony form than Rain and probably weighed less; his skin “Not with their own dedicated feed. This
floating in front of him. He did not know why was the faded milky black that nature reserved gun, if that’s what it is, can pull every drop
the ship’s artificial gravity was off—Rain had for the truly ancient. His body seemed to lean of power the ship generates. Near as we can
mumbled something about systems testing to one side, his right shoulder higher than his tell, it doesn’t have any overrides or cut-offs,
when he came aboard—but he did know that left. Grasping Max’s hand, the old man grinned nothing piggybacks off its feed—just a straight
zero gee made him nauseous and his lurking broadly showing both remaining teeth—one pipeline of juice. Solomon traced the controls
claustrophobia did nothing to ease his nerves. on top, one on bottom—and crinkling the skin and, near as he can tell, it’s controlled through
The Hecate was a large ship, but its chambers around his yellow eyes. Max shook his hand the weapons comp.”
and passages were cramped and oppressive. gently; it was like holding crepe paper.
Worse yet, Rainmaker’s crew seemed to prefer “Looks laik weapon, fires laik weapon. Why
the ambient blue of instrument panels and “Mistah Maxwell, I’s happy to see you,” he so hard, eh? Ees weapon.”
ruby lined corridors to the bright white light said. “We has an enigma.” He tapped a foot
that filled the ship when it was in drydock. on the deck and floated backward toward his “That’s what I need you to check,” Rain
station. continued, ignoring Solomon. “If it is a gun,
The ship’s captain waved for Max to hurry what kind and why the dickens does it need
up and pushed through the entry to the “What we have is one more gun that we’re so much power? I’ve known you long enough
bridge. Max ignored the Creole and continued supposed to have,” Rain clarified. to know that them computers can hide a lot of
his steady pace; the last thing his stomach “How can I help? I’m no ship’s tech.” Max stuff.”
needed was for him to lose his grip and spin managed to reach the back of a chair and
in freefall. Max shrugged, secure in his seat. “I’ll see
pulled himself forward. what I can dig out of the software, but no
“So, me pappy, he say to me, ‘Boa!’” The “Ship techs I got,” Rainmaker said, taking promises.”
speaker’s voice was rough, but with a singsong pity and placing a hand in the small of Max’s
cadence that lent it a mesmerizing roll. Max “Anything will help,” Rainmaker said,
back to steady him. “What I need is someone
smiled as he reached the bridge; Rainmak- pushing off the seatback, toward the exit.
to crack the software. For that, I think of you.”
er’s people made English seem like a foreign “Solomon and Tomas will be here if you need
language. Max found a station with an active keyboard, help. I have to get down to engineering.”
strapped himself into the seat. “Okay, tell me
“’Boa,’ he say to me, ‘what chew gone do Two hours later, Max had as many new
what you know.”
when dat gata’ dun bit off you otha arm?’ And questions as he had answers. If it was not a
I sez—” “Bonus gun, sez I,” Solomon quipped from weapon, it operated like one. That had been
his own station. the easy part; the rest was, as Solomon said,
“We’ve heard this story a million times, an enigma. Not only did the pod pull its power
bon ami,” Rainmaker said. “Max, this is my XO, “Maybe.” Rainmaker put a hand on his directly from the engine but the ship’s pro-
Solomon. Solomon, Beta Max.” executive officer’s shoulder. “We’ve been gramming gave it absolute priority to that
checking the systems and we came up with power. It would shut down the life support
If Rain’s interruption bothered Solomon, extra parts. We’ve got a forward mounted systems before it would refuse a call for power
he did not show it, simply kicked free of his weapons pod that’s powered directly off of the from the weapons pod.

Calamity’s Child
Computing power followed the same seals stood as silent sentinels as she worked. Salle, of course.”
order; simply maintaining the pod in a passive “Six rounds and a spare,” she explained. Ivan
state used as much of the ship’s electron- nodded; he had seen Dell open too many fresh “Brought you something,” he said, changing
ics suite as its stealth systems. Most of the decks of cards not to recognized the signifi- the subject. He slid an envelope onto the table.
digital pampering went for what the internal cance of the seal. He felt foolish for it here on a world with formal
coding called “proper deformation of parabolic gardens and cedar trees but it had seemed like
quantum wells” and “cooling and stabilization “Assuming no one uses live fire,” Rose a good idea at the time.
of gallium arsenide semiconductors .” continued. “In that case, I go back to my own
ammo. I’ll probably have to do that at least Rose tore it open an pulled out the fistful of
He beckoned Solomon over, expecting the once; Rounder’ll probably make the quarterfi- grass from the Orion’s hydroponics sealed in a
man to be just as stymied. He was, but in a nals at least.” small plastic bag. With a grin, she opened the
different way. seal on the bag, buried her nose in it, breathing
“He always use live rounds?” deep. Quick fingers shredded the grass and she
“Now why we be needin’ a gun what shoots inhaled the air of the bag again. She resealed
‘lectrons an’ alpha particles? ‘At’s a jumble.” “It’s part of his motif.” She swabbed the it with a contented sigh. “Wonderful, simply
pistol’s barrel, looked down it skeptically. “He wonderful.” She looked calmer than Ivan had
“No idea. I didn’t even get that far.” Max thinks it gives him an advantage, especially seen her since he arrived.
squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. “That’s against less experienced duelists.”
about all I can pry out of the system. Whoever “I’m glad you approve.”
designed it assumed the operator would “Sounds like a lot of needless killing to
already know what it was.” me.” “Ready for dinner?”
“No worries, mon ami. I’s tell Rainmaker Rose shook her head. “He usually puts a He snorted. “We just ate.”
that we jest leave wells enough alone. We only round just over their head or between their
feet; serves the same purpose. If they’re really “Just a snack.”
fire dis gun if everthin’ else go to ‘ell.”
getting on his nerves, maybe hit them in the Ivan shook his head. “I’m exhausted, Rose.
# arm or leg. I’ve only seen him have to kill an I’ve been on the road for days. I’ve had a
opponent twice. He’s a nice guy, really.” sandwich and a shower, now all I want is a nap.
They shared adjoining rooms tucked away Ivan harrumphed skeptically. I’m sorry.”
in the mansion’s eastern wing on the fourth
floor. Rose took great delight in pointing out “You’re jealous!” She cackled happily. “Don’t be.” She dismissed his concerns with
that the door separating their rooms locked on “That’s hilarious!” a shake of her head. “I should have realized.
Ivan’s side “in case he got scared.” Despite her Go, sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
teasing, he did lock it as he showered, shaved, “I’m cautious,” he countered. “He doesn’t
look augmented either. I thought all duelists The bed was hard and cluttered with more
and changed. Two days spent shuffling from
had some kind of neural upgrades.” pillows than any human could possibly need.
transport to transport to reach Toulouse left Ivan could not have cared less; he lay down
him more than happy for hot water and clean “Nah, only the good ones.” She pursed and was asleep before Rose finished reassem-
clothing. her lips, thinking. “About one in ten, I think. bling her gun.
Rose was waiting when he reopened the That’s part of why they’re so easy for me to
kill; I usually don’t come up against anything The click of a door latch awakened him.
door, cleaning her gun. Seven of the gold
resembling a fair fight. Except for during the Probably Rose returning from dinner, he

Calamity’s Child
thought groggily. Heavy footsteps, too heavy to otherwise the man was unfazed. He wrapped Ivan motioned him back with the gun
be Rose’s, brought him fully awake. He rolled Ivan’s chest and right arm in a tight bear hug muzzle, ignoring the pain in his arm as he held
off the bed, lifting his custom .45 from the and thrust him against the wall again. Rose’s gun. He crouched and retrieved the .45
nightstand. The sun had set, casting the rooms with his left. “Give me a reason I shouldn’t pull
into muted twilight. He crossed the room on “You’ve no idea.” Rounder surged, lifting this trigger.”
bare feet. Ivan off his feet. Ivan jerked up a knee, felt
Rounder block it with his thigh, hit him again “I can give you two. One, a dead man in
Rose had not closed the connecting door; a with the gun. The pain in his broken arm was her room will cause Rose trouble. Two, I’m a
foot wide sliver of the other room was visible incredible; starbursts flickered across his field professional duelist. Just because you’ve got
beyond. Ivan shifted his gun to his left hand, of vision. He pounded the gun frantically the drop on me doesn’t mean I can’t draw fast
his good hand, and nudged the door the rest of against Rounder’s skull, each blow weaker than enough to hole you.”
the way open with his foot. He announced his the preceding.
presence by pulling back the hammer on the “The first I can deal with. The second is a
.45, the crack shockingly loud in the silence. Rounder dropped him, grasping for the gun. risk I’m willing to take.”
Blood ran freely down the side of his face and
The figure bending over Rose’s bags lifted the muscles of his jaw stood out like ropes. He Rounder turned his head to the side, spit
its hands and stood slowly, a wide silhouette grabbed Ivan’s wrist and twisted, digging his blood onto the floor. Ivan knew the type, men
in the gloom. “Let’s not do anything rash,” fingernails into the skin. Ivan dropped the .45, who could not back down no matter what the
Rounder said turning to face him. “I’m just jerked his head forward. His forehead caught odds. Too much pride to do anything but die
doing a favor for Rose.” When Ivan did not Rounder across the bridge of the nose, mashed rather than lose face.
respond, he added, “She needed something it into a smear of blood. Rounder staggered “Get out,” Ivan growled. “You owe me.”
from her luggage.” back, hands rising to his face. As he did, Ivan
palmed Rose’s fletchette pistol from the table, Rounder coughed a laugh. “I can live with
“Ammunition?” There was no need for leveled it at Rounder’s gut. that.” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket
quiet. The building was solidly built, the rooms with two fingers, pressed it to the side of his
soundproofed. “Who sent you?” face. “It would have been better this way,” he
Rounder looked up at the gold-sealed clip Rounder grinned through a veil of blood. said, regaining his swagger. “G’night gov’ner.”
he held in his upraised hand. “It does seem “Who says anyone sent me?” He strode into the hall without looking back.
implausible, doesn’t it?” He opened his hand, Ivan watched him go then pushed the door
let the clip fall to the floor, dove forward when Ivan cocked the gun. “King or Fagan? Or are closed, locked it.
Ivan’s eyes flicked toward it momentarily. there more I should know about?”
Laying Rose’s pistol back on the table, he
He came in low, knocking the .45 aside “I’m a professional doing a job here. Blind rummaged through Rose’s bathroom until he
with a forearm, slammed Ivan back into the drops and all that; I never know the client.” found painkillers. He choked the pills down dry
wall with his full weight. The gun barked and and sagged into a chair, .45 in his lap.
“You’ve got guesses.”
plaster sprayed from the ceiling. The thick Rose found him there hours later, startling
walls smothered the echoes. “Kingfisher does his own dirty work.” him out of a restless sleep when she entered.
Rounder panted heavily, breathing through his “What happened?” she gasped. “Are you
“Some favor,” Ivan gasped, slamming the mouth. “It’s a simple cross, culley. If she’s dis- okay?”
butt of his gun into the side of Rounder’s head. qualified, she doesn’t get hurt.”
Skin split and blood ran from a pressure cut but

Calamity’s Child
“Just a misunderstanding,” he replied

wearily. “I’m going back to bed.”
M Keaton
Growing up in a family with a history of
military service, M. Keaton cut his lin-
guistic and philosophical teeth on the
bones of his elders through games of
strategy and debates at the dinner table.
He began his writing career over 20 years
ago as a newspaper rat in Springdale,
Arkansas, U.S.A. before pursuing formal
studies in chemistry, mathematics, and
medieval literature at John Brown Uni-
versity. A student of politics, military
history, forteana, and game design, his
renaissance education inspired the short
television series: These Teeth Are Real
(TTAR).
His literary “mentors” are as diverse as

his experiences. Most powerfully, the
author has been affected by the works
and writers of the “ancient” world,
including the Bible, Socrates, and (more
modern) Machiavelli, Tsun Tsu, Tacitus,
and Von Clauswitz. (This horribly long
list only scratches the surface; M. Keaton
reads at a rate of over two books per
week in addition to his writing.)

Thieves’ Honor,
Episode Five: The Game - Shooter by Keanan Brand Pg. 56
Thieves’ Honor
Episode Five: The Game - Shooter
by Keanan Brand
Previously, on Thieves’ Honor: see?” at her sides. “Missed you at dinner. All better
now?”
“Behind Jay Milligan’s.” Dramatic pause
“Aye, captain?” then the dull clinking of marbles rolling against The sharp prick of a needle, and the flicker-
His tongue felt thick. “Anybody ‘round?” one another in a mesh bag. “Big Bryson Fry is ing torches faded to black.
playing.”
“Just got rid of the female passenger. You #
can speak freely, captain.” “Why didn’t you say so sooner?” Kristoff
waved a hand. “Hurry up. Gotta redeem my
Yeah, if he could just push the words past
his teeth. “Zoltana said. New estrac—new
good name.”
Sahir’s fat chuckle shuddered through the
A door scraped open, and Finney breathed
fresh air. Light glowed beyond the blindfold.
She turned her head toward it.
extrashen team.”
frame of the wheelchair. “And I want my money She had wakened, wrists bound, in a
Hum-ditty-hum. The ceiling looked all back.” wooden chair in a cold, vast room that echoed
swimmy and bright. back her shouted questions. Her head hurt,
# her muscles ached, and her tongue felt fuzzy.
“When did she tell you? Did she say where
they were?” The skin around the needle prick itched and
Finney stopped in front of a shop window, burned.
Ooh. Look at that. taking advantage of the reflection to take a
look around. Nobody seemed interested in her. Footfalls, and the light disappeared. Many
“Captain? What about the extraction boots. Breathing. The stiff rustle of metal-wo-
team?” Finney’s voice sounded too tense. She She looked beyond the reflection to the ven cloth, light body armor posing as everyday
should come down here and look at the lights. display behind it. Nice. clothing.
She’d feel better. “Do they know where I am?” A man stepped into view, smiled, and A kick jarred the chair. “Get up.”
He muttered something into his radio then gestured at the display, a question in his eyes.
realized his hand was empty. The radio lay on She stood, and knocked the chair
Finney looked again at the wares. Elegant. backward.
the sheet. Funny. Probably felt as good as they looked—but
“Captain? Captain!” there was no reason to buy one. Too expensive, A man laughed close to her ear. “No time
anyway. She lifted a hand, shook her head, for that.”
Sight blurring, Kristoff hummed to the and strolled to where a circle of torches lit an
music of the dancing ceiling dots. outdoor stage filled with dancers and musicians, I have all the time in the universe.
rhythms filling the night and begging Finney’s She rammed her elbow against him, and
# feet to dance. heard the satisfying whffff as air left his lungs.
“Why, there you are, darlin’!” Muscular
“Where’s this game we’re sneaking off to “Hey!” Hands grabbed at her.
arms wrapped around her, trapping her arms

Thieves’ Honor,
Finney twisted out of their grasp, crouched # “Look at those fools.” Wyatt sat beside
then pushed upward. Her shoulder contacted Kristoff. “Queuing for a chance to lose their
with a belt buckle. Ouch. She tilted her other A body could tell at a glance he was a pro- shirts.” Then, in exaggerated realization, he
shoulder into another victim’s midsection. He fessional. He wore a green visor to protect his looked at Kristoff with wide eyes. “Sorry,
grunted. eyes, leather chaps to protect his trousers, captain. You here to play a game?”
leather sleeve garters to protect his pristine
Another jab—with her elbow—and from white shirt, and a special pair of soft leather Kristoff shot him a look. The ship’s steward
the high-pitched, weepy wheeze when he shoes he donned just for games. Slick-shaven, grinned.
hit the ground, that guy wouldn’t be feeling close-cropped, he was clean as a fresh bar of
amorous for a few days. Sahir plunked a thick-rimmed glass of water
soap. on the table and muttered something Kristoff
The mouth of a gun barrel kissed her A man of average height and build, Big probably didn’t want to hear. The water sloshed
forehead. “Settle down, missy.” Bryson Fry was not named for his stature but up the sides, and sent a straw swirling.
She paused—she was as reasonable as for the large velvet-lined box carried by the A straw. Only an invalid used a straw.
the next person—but then she slumped as if massive bodyguard a couple steps behind him.
falling, ducked her head, and mowed down Inside the box, marbles nestled in rows of Corrigan, Ezra, and Holmes squeezed
the guy with the gun. A shot reverberated, and velvet hollows. Trays and trays of them. around the table, forcing Sahir to scoot his
the bullet impacted somewhere in the echoing chair aside and make room.
At least a dozen of those marbles had once
vastness beyond. belonged to Kristoff. “Saw Fry in the street, and followed him,”
Arms clamped around her—one at her said Corrigan. “Figured we’d get in on the
Big Bryson Fry played for keeps. fun.”
throat, another at her waist—and flipped her
onto her stomach, then someone grabbed her “Hang back, Sahir. Wheel me over to that “Play, or bet?” asked Sahir.
ankles and pressed her legs to the floor. A rope table.” Kristoff would rather be arriving under
slid over her head and tightened around her his own power, but common sense pushed Corrigan slapped the table. “Bet, of
neck. aside idiocy. “And get me a glass of water.” course!”
“All right then”—the speaker was breath- “Water?” Sahir sounded horrified. The mechanic looked down at Kristoff’s
less; gruff, like the guy with the gun—”we’re bandaged left side then straight into his eyes in
gonna walk out of here, and you’ll come along “Water.” a wordless disapproval so sharp he must have
nice, or we’ll deliver damaged goods to our taken lessons from the doctor.
client.” Hot breath blasted her ear. The noose Across the smoke-hazed room, Big Bryson
tugged her head back, cutting off her air. “But Fry was letting himself be seen. Pompous Kristoff tossed aside the straw, grabbed
I don’t care how pretty or how bloody you are, so-and-so. He ordered the most expensive bot- the glass of water, raised it to his mouth in a
so long as we get paid.” tle—anything with the Imperium label was a slow arc, drank it dry, and set it down again. He
signal the drinker felt no threat to his wallet— raised his brows.
The noose pulling her forward like a leash and he told the bodyguard to set the large box
guiding a dog, Finney stumbled toward the in the center of a table. Instead of being put off Corrigan frowned, shook his head, and
light. by his display or his reputation, men and a few turned to look around the room. He couldn’t
women approached the table, showed their be seeing much in the dim light, except for
money, and added their names to a list. more star sailors, and wooden tables and

Thieves’ Honor,
chairs, most repaired with wire and metal a story like that, folks might buy you drinks.” lency.” Another voice, cocky, young, behind
patches after being broken in the many brawls Finney’s starboard shoulder.
that gave Jay Milligan’s its reputation as a place “I’ll remember that, sir.”
to bleed off excess fuel after long voyages. A long silence. Shuffled boots scuffing the
“No need for sarcasm.” stones. Murmured consultation among the
Or after a near-fatal gunshot to the chest. assembled family.
Kristoff gritted his teeth and tried not to look #
sick from the pain. “So, Sahir,” after his jaw “Stand her on her feet.”
unclenched enough to let him speak, “did you The courtyard echoed with the crisp rhythm Finney was jerked upright by the noose’s
get my name on the list?” of marching feet, though there was a hitch in rough embrace.
someone’s stride. Finney laughed, and the
“Aye, captain. I tell him you play first.” The rope tightened. “Similar height. Hair color. Garments
cook drained his beer then smacked his lips. “I masculine and unfashionable as ever.” A sigh.
bet.” A shove sent her to her knees, and small “What did he see in her?”
stones pressed against the worn but tough
“A lot?” leather trousers, digging into her skin.
#
“Two hundred.” The marching continued as the extraction
team arrayed themselves behind and beside He swaggers like a character in an old
So. No pressure. “Thanks for the confi- her, then the rhythm ceased, replaced by the Earth movie, and smiles wide enough to flutter
dence.” shuffle and whisper of soft-soled shoes a few a girl’s heart, but Finney hasn’t been a girl
Sahir shrugged one thick shoulder. “I tell yards in front of her. A rich fragrance breathed for years, and her heart—well, there is some
him you are wounded.” He smiled, his eyes into the open space—the favorite perfume of debate whether or not it still exists.
almost disappearing in his round face. “He the family matriarch, grandmother of the man
Finney killed. Finney meets his gaze in the mirror behind
forgets you are Kristoff.” the bar, suppresses a yawn, and stands,
“Yeah, sometimes I forget, too. Especially “This is she?” dropping a bill beside her empty glass.
when I try to do something smart.” One palm From behind Finney, “Yes, Excellency.” “Seen the new Tattersall’s rifle?” He leans
flat on the table, Kristoff pushed himself up an elbow on the bar, canting his body so she’ll
out of the wheelchair. “This is not one of those “You are certain?” A pause—adequate have to walk around him.
times.” time for the old woman to bore her penetrat-
ing gaze into the eyes of the bounty hunters. She looks at him, her gaze unblinking.
He swayed. Ezra propped him up. “Why are “The last team was lazy. Arrogant. They have
you doing this, captain? It’s just a game.” He lifts a hand, and moves out of her way.
been—retired.”
“I ask because I see you favor their sidearm.”
“Yeah, Ez”—Kristoff put his right arm Hesitation. “Here are her papers, Excellen- He follows her to the door.
around the kid’s shoulders, leaning on him cy. We found them in the bungalow she rented.
as they shuffled toward the back door of the She pushes it open with the toe of her boot
She also carried the weapons you described.”
bar—”but think about the stories we can tell and steps into the noonday heat. Squinting,
later: ‘Remember that time I finally beat Big “And she appears to match the physical Finney looks down the dirt street. Cooperstown
Bryson Fry?’ or you can say, ‘I was there when description and the images you sent, Excel- is a boomtown, a miner’s paradise, and the
the captain made history at Jay Milligan’s.’ Tell

Thieves’ Honor,
rich here are very rich. They can afford private “Waste of bullets.” signaling the bookmaker with nods or upheld
runners, and are not forced to contend with fingers, changing their bets, some of them
mundane things like dusty or muddy or rutted “Very well, sir. I’m on my way.” Finney each time Kristoff or Fry finished a play.
streets. secures the radio, lowers her gun, turns, and
knocks aside the rifle aimed at the back of her Ezra nursed his root beer, tried not to care
There’s a flash of light—the sun on a head. She looks into the dark screen of the how well the captain played, and listened to
fragment of mirror twitching back and forth helmet, in the approximate location of the the low-voiced, intermittent conversation of
near the awning of a gambling establishment. guard’s eyes. He backs up a step and lets her his crewmates.
A successful job. Time to stroll back to the ship, pass.
casual as you please, but without wasting After a long lull: “So,” Ezra said to Holmes,
any time. Rule Number Something-or-Other She holsters her gun and strides down the who was drinking his own root beer with a straw
of the Martina Vega: Never draw unnecessary street toward the docks. since his first glass slipped from his bandaged
attention to ship or crew. hands and shattered on the hardwood floor,
“I’ll be at Governor’s Hall tonight,” calls her “you know where Rebeka went? Not wise,
“Probably pretty good with that, admirer. us letting her leave the ship. She might try
huh? Looks like it’s seen some action.” something again.”
She keeps walking.
Finney whirls. The mouth of her pistol presses
against the third button of her admirer’s shirt. Holmes shook his head. “Your pilot—what’s
“So, see you later, then?” her name? Finney?—convinced her to let it go.
Men surround her, weapons drawn. Bek’s no spy. She’s probably sold a few trinkets
# and rented a room in a fancy hotel.” The young
He does not look pleased. “Thought I sent man’s voice still held a trace of bitterness, and
you boys home.” See you later. And he had. his mouth twisted at one corner. “I give her a
day to charm some poor sap into thinking she’s
“You know that isn’t possible, sir.” The Her face was the last he saw. the girl of his dreams.” Then he looked at Ezra.
guard’s voice is muffled by his helmet. “She got to you, too.”
#
The admirer—as tall as Finney—looks into Ezra took a drink and didn’t answer.
her eyes. “She’s not going to shoot me.” Wyatt, Corrigan, Sahir, Ezra, and Holmes
sat around a table in the back corner, where A woman, lipsticked and low-bloused,
“Finn? Finn!” Kristoff on the radio. “You
they had an excellent view out the door to the sidled up to Corrigan, trailed a fingertip down
don’t respond in two seconds, I’m sending out
game being played in the broad patch of dirt his bicep, and smiled at that ugly mug. If that
the cavalry.”
behind the bar. wasn’t astonishing enough, she said, “C’mon,
She unclips the radio from her belt. “Sorry handsome. You’re sitting with me.”
for the delay, captain. Casanova’s ugly cousin The captain knelt on one knee, his left arm
strapped close to his chest, and aimed a tiger- Choking on his root beer, Ezra looked at
wants a date.”
stripe at the steely on the edge of the circle. Wyatt who glanced over at Sahir who shook
A chuckle. “Well, let him down gentle. his head.
Leave him one good leg to limp home on, and Torches had been lit and set high around
the perimeter of the yard. The crowd was quiet, “Maybe,” said Holmes, “they hire blind
one good eye to see the way.”
men lounging on stacked crates or squatting girls. Or simpletons.”
“Can I shoot him?” around the circle, watching in intense silence,

Thieves’ Honor,
“She’s probably a pickpocket,” said Ezra. # has come to Governor’s Hall. The only reason
“Better watch your wallet.” she bothered to walk through the fancy gates
“So, Devlin, is this the Amazon you rhapso- outside is the unfortunate fact that one of the
“You don’t think she’s crazy, do you?” asked dized to the doorman this afternoon?” A regal Martina Vega’s best customers requested a
Holmes. “There’s an asylum down the way—” gray-haired woman in a black gown shot with particular item be delivered in person.
The woman bent her head toward cobalt blue seems to float across the marble
floor. People turn their heads as she passes. A pricey little item, too. Captain should
Corrigan. have brought it himself—after all, he’s the one
She does not pay them any heed, but Finney
is not fooled: The governor is a dramatic sight, with the society manners and the right kind
“Did she just kis—”
and she knows it. of clothes—but he wasn’t invited. And, unlike
Sahir clamped a hand over Ezra’s eyes. Kristoff’s, Finney’s face isn’t plastered all over
“Grandmother, may I present Miss Fiona the constabulary nexus.
# Grace? Miss Grace, Governor Tarquin.”
Lucky me.
Devlin reaches for Finney, but she steps
The long tail of the noose trailed down aside— casually, as if she does not see his She takes a glass of something amber,
Finney’s back and brushed against her bound hand—and inclines her head to the governor. clinks the rim against Devlin’s, and downs
hands. “Excellency.” the contents. He sips his, watching her with a
smile. If he’s waiting for her to choke on the
“Remove the blindfold.” The old woman raises her brows. “Devlin, conflagration burning down her throat, he’ll be
did you inform your young lady this is a formal an old man before she lets him see her sweat.
Ripped from her head, the coarse cloth
occasion?” She turns, surveying the room, and blinks back
scraped her skin and pulled her hair. Finney involuntary tears.
blinked, her eyes stinging. “This is a formal as she gets.”
“You know,” Devlin murmurs in her ear, “we
Arrayed under an awning before a The governor’s gaze travels from the toes don’t have to stay here.”
colonnade, their backs to a row of torches, of Finney’s scuffed boots to her fresh-scrubbed
stood perhaps a dozen people, their garments face. Finney hands him her empty glass. “I think
pale and of light texture, catching wind and I know that guy.”
light, and at their center sat a black-clad old Finney clenches her teeth and struggles to
woman, a dark spider in their airy web. keep the fake smile. What she wouldn’t do for She crosses the room, smiles at a stranger,
a gun right now, but security confiscated hers nods to a curious onlooker, and strolls behind
Finney raised her chin, squared her at the door. a group of men dressed in sober colors. Never
shoulders, and looked straight into the old looking away from his fellows, one of them rests
woman’s eyes. Governor Tarquin smiles—a small, tight a hand behind his back; Finney slips a rectan-
obligation of a smile—and moves on to her gular data chip into his fingers and continues
“I would have thought you would be regret- other guests. toward the door.
ting your arrogance by now.” Pushing herself
up from the ornate chair, thin arms shaking Devlin tilts his chin. “C’mon. Bar’s this There are too many people in the way. She
with the effort, the old woman stood. “I, too, way.” can’t breathe.
am proud.”
But high-class alcohol is not why Finney In this room is the person she hates most

Thieves’ Honor,
in the universe. The only person she hates. And Turner. put a hand on his shoulder. Corrigan smiled,
she has no gun. and looked all the scarier. “Finney. What about
The younger man grinned and opened his her?”
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. Please, arms wide. “Hey, old man. Let me buy you a
get me out of here. drink.” “Which way she went. What she looked
like.” Turner shrugged, squinted, lowered
“Now, now, Miss Grace.” Devlin snakes an Wyatt kicked a chair toward him. himself carefully into the chair. “Sh-somethin’s
arm around her waist. “Not yet.” “Siddown.” wrong with the gyro.”
# “Think I’ll”—Jink Turner wobbled, caught Corrigan palmed the back of Turner’s head
himself on the table again—”stand. C’mon! I and bounced his forehead off the scarred
got enough to buy everyone on the Vega—ev- wooden table. “Room’ll stop spinnin’ after
A commotion at the front of the bar— eryone in this bar—enough drinks to make ‘em you’ve had a little nap.”
shouted curses, a couple of thuds, a grunt—and actually be glad they’re on the central rock, so
Ezra looked over his shoulder. A young man close to government interference.” “Dang it, Cor!” Wyatt plucked the cash from
staggered through the open doorway and Turner’s slack hand. “Now we’re gonna have to
slammed against the nearest table. “Hey!” He Wyatt crossed his arms. “Where’d you get find Finney the hard way.”
lifted a near-empty bottle in the Vega crew’s the cash?”
direction. “You following me?” With a guilty look, Corrigan curled his hand
Turner patted his pants pockets, shirt into a fist, then opened it and let it fall to his
Holmes cursed, and Corrigan growled. He pockets, back pockets. Pulled out a wad of side.
thrust aside the bar tramp, and she shot him a folded bills.
mouthful of unfriendliness. He clamped a hand A gaggle of officers in the dark blue uniforms
over her mouth, shoved her backward, and she The crew of the Martina Vega set down of the sky constabulary force, and with a
dropped, wide-eyed and silent, into a chair. their drinks and rose from their seats. merchant insignia on their sleeves, clogged
the doorway then rushed to the bar, laughing
“Turner was close to broke,” Corrigan Turner’s usual sarcasm mixed with drunken and talking. The Orpheus crew, slumming it on
rumbled. “Said something about doing a little gloating. “’Nough for everybody.” shore leave.
stevedore work for the fare home, maybe
even sticking around in Port Henry for awhile, “So you said.” Ezra’s fist itched to reach out Ezra frowned at Wyatt—When did they
but there weren’t any ships docking but the and tap Turner’s chin. “Where’d you get it?” wharf?—but the steward shrugged. The gov-
Vega.” ernment dock was on the far side of Port Henry,
“Didn’t I tell you? Fellas in brown metal-
weave shirts asked me a few questions, paid near the admiralty and Parliament.
Ezra nodded. “So where’d he get the money
to get drunk?” me for the answers.” Another round of silent communication
Corrigan sucked his teeth. “Questions?” as the crew glanced at one another, heads
“Maybe he just used what he had. Lost averted so the Orpheus crew wouldn’t take
restraint.” Holmes slurped up the last of his root “Yeah. ‘Bout the ship. ‘Bout the pilot— too much notice. Wyatt raised his brows, Sahir
beer through the straw. “Known to happen. what’s ‘er name?” smiled, and Corrigan loosened his shoulders
Bars and stuff.” and popped his neck.
The men of the Vega looked at one another,
Wyatt sighed, pushed back from the table, faces grim. Ezra stepped forward, but Wyatt Ezra nodded. “Let’s do it.”
stood, hitched up his belt, and walked over to

Thieves’ Honor,
Wyatt tossed a couple of bills at their table a stunned child. pressed against the security field around the
then led the way to the game outside. Vega. Light outlined his fingers then his body.
A man lunged at Corrigan, and the mechanic The cargo doors slid open, and the gangplank
Pale, his face glistening with sweat, Captain slammed one meaty fist into his shoulder. The descended. He dropped the still-unconscious
Kristoff didn’t look up at the crew. There were crack of breaking bone set Ezra’s teeth on edge. Turner, hoisted the captain over his shoulder
ten marbles on the ground beside him; there Then Corrigan stepped past his moaning victim, again, and carried him aboard ship.
were twelve beside Big Bryson Fry. Only a red lifted the captain, and carried him beyond the
aggie, a tiger-stripe, and a couple of cat’s- melee. Breathing hard, Holmes bent at the waist
eyes remained inside the circle. Hand shaking, and rested his bandaged hands on his knees. In
Kristoff took aim. “Ez!” Sahir lifted a drawstring bag over the distance, the keening of constable whistles
his head. Fry’s bodyguard writhed and kicked drew closer.
He shot. The marble leapt across the space and flailed, but Sahir just wriggled his butt
and knocked one of the cat’s-eyes out of the as if settling into a comfy chair, and further Ezra slapped Holmes on the shoulder—
circle, and the shooter rolled to a stop just condensed the bodyguard’s chest. ”C’mon”—then grabbed Turner by the heels
outside the white powdered-chalk outline. The and dragged him up the gangplank. After a
captain reached for the two marbles but pulled Dodging punches and falling bodies, Ezra moment, Holmes followed, his steps stumbling.
back his hand and hunched over, grimacing. reached the cook’s side, grabbed the bag, The shallow rise and oblique angle made for
ducked under an arm but was still knocked easy movement of freight, but it was steep
Grinning, Big Bryson Fry knelt in a shooting sideways by a glancing blow, regained his when one was already exhausted.
position and sighted across the circle. footing, and plowed through to the alley.
Corrigan ran past on the street, the captain At the top, Ezra looked back. Grizzle-haired
Now. slung over one shoulder and Turner over the Wyatt and Sahir, his belly jiggling up and down,
other. puffed as they ran along the dock—well, moved
Ezra jostled Holmes’ elbow. Holmes more at a fast slog than a run—and both paused
frowned at Ezra and pushed him in the chest. Ezra pounded down the alley, Holmes at his at the bottom of the gangway. Wheezing, Sahir
Ezra shoved him hard enough to knock him heels. gripped Wyatt’s shoulder; the steward listed to
into Corrigan, who shoved him back toward port under the weight of the cook’s hand.
Ezra, toppling the two young men into Wyatt. Behind them, shouts and shrill whistles
signaled the port constables had arrived. “Hey, boys, want me to toss you a rope?”
On the ground, Wyatt grabbed a bystand-
er’s leg and pulled him down. Ezra curled Ezra ran up the street, veered into another Wyatt glared up at Ezra, made a rude
himself into a ball, arms over his head, as the alley, and crawled through an obstacle course gesture. Then, supporting one another, the
man fell across him, cursing. Ezra scrambled of barrels and crates, arriving on the docks just two oldest crewmembers hauled themselves
free of the tangle and leapt up in time to see as Corrigan came into view, the captain pro- up the ramp.
Sahir belly-bump Fry’s bodyguard—then, with testing “the invalid treatment.”
a war whoop, sit on him. #
The mechanic put him down, and Kristoff
The shiny box broke open, scattering collapsed into a heap like a stringless puppet.
marbles across the dirt, tripping bystand- Curses and threats following her down
ers and combatants. Fry crouched beside the “Now, see, cap? That’s what I was trying the corridor, Captain Iona Zoltana waved her
circle, arms and hands outspread like a mother to avoid.” Corrigan stepped over him and put dogtags across the security scan, the brig doors
bird sheltering its young. He looked more like out a hand, continuing forward until his palm slid open, and she and her crew stepped into

Thieves’ Honor,
the holding zone between the cells and the “Then give me the scuttlebutt.” shut. Figure it’s not the first time you came to
entry. The metal-reinforced glass doors closed that arrangement. Figure that’s why you’re not
with a hiss as the air pressure changed. In Krieger waved his ID at the scanner, and looking so good right now—Corrigan had to do
the Port Henry brig, prisoners were given less the exterior door opened. “There’s been some a little convincing.”
oxygen—just under normal levels—than free chatter about Governor Bat’Alon’s daughter
citizens. Marty and his pirates could whinge being aboard the freighter Martina Vega. The harbormaster glared.
at the top of their lungs all the planetary day Possible kidnapping.”
“Lock him in the cage with Turner,” said
long, but they’d just wear themselves down. He looked puzzled when Zoltana laughed. Kristoff. “I’ll question them there.”
“Don’t they ever shut up?” Ensign Gaines
# Three radio blips, and a fist pounded on the
scowled back down the corridor. exterior door of the airlock. Corrigan hit the
“A sleepy prisoner is a happy prisoner.” release button, the door slid open, and Alerio
Kristoff pressed a clean wad of gauze over and Mercedes rushed inside, almost stumbling
the wound while Ezra applied a fresh bandage.
“Ma’am?” over themselves.
“Any word from Alerio or Mercedes?”
Zoltana smiled slightly—”Mind the “What’s with the welcoming committee
Ezra shook his head. “Big Bryson Fry’s
gap”—and gripped the handrail. out front, captain?” Then Alerio looked at
outside with the constables, though, freaking Corrigan, eyebrows raised. “And what’s with
The holding zone shot sideways, and out and demanding you return his money and the lipstick?”
Gaines tottered into the wall and dropped his his marbles.”
rifle. It skittered across the floor. The rest of Ears and throat bright red, Corrigan
“Return his marbles? That’s a mite
the escort squad grinned as Gaines righted scrubbed at the smear on the corner of his
personal.”
himself, red-faced and scowling, and grabbed mouth.
the rail. Three staticky blips on their radios. Kristoff addressed the harbormaster. “I
At the guard station, a man in a standard “The back door.” Kristoff reached for his have one question. If it’s answered to my sat-
dark blue uniform saluted. The ensign of the shirt, saw the bright bloom of red on the isfaction, I’ll ask you another one, and so on.
government fleet marked his right sleeve: front, and left it on the cot. He grabbed Ezra’s When I’m done, we let you go. If you don’t
the gold interlocking rings of three planets. shoulder and stood. “Let’s go.” comply or you lie, you ride in our cage for a
“Captain Zoltana.” while until I decide whether or not to tie you to
At the rear hatch, Corrigan prodded the the nose of my ship or feed you to the exhaust.
She returned the salute. shoulder of a uniformed official. “Here’s a Agreed?”
present for you, cap. By the way, Zoltana’s here.
“I’m Liaison Officer Krieger. I’ve been sent After a couple seconds, the harbormaster
The Orpheus landed before our little dustup.”
to escort you to the admiralty, captain. Your nodded.
detail is free to accompany us.” A bruise marked the harbormaster’s
forehead, and blood trickled from his nose. “The extraction team—did they come by
“Officer Krieger.” Zoltana strode toward the merchant, freighter, yacht?”
exit. “Anything you can tell me on the way?” Kristoff crossed his arms. “So, I figure the
extraction team paid you for information and “Runner.”
“I don’t have the details, captain.” then paid you a little extra to keep your mouth “Runner.”

Thieves’ Honor,
“Y-yes, sir. A catamaran, big enough to hold extraction team on the prowl, we need to get Finney works her fingers, red from their
maybe ten men.” airborne quick. We can set down somewhere impact with Devlin’s face. I miss my gun. She
outside the city, and figure out a plan.” heads for the door but is blocked by guards in
“Second question, same rules: name or black helmets. They stand with rifles across
numbers?” Ezra frowned. “But what about Finney, their chests, ready but not yet in kill mode.
captain? Or Rebeka? We can’t leave them!”
“Desert camouflage, no decals.” “My apologies, Grandmother.” Devlin
“Miss Bat’Alon isn’t part of my crew, and touches the corner of his mouth, dabbing at
“Anyone on the team address anyone else she’s a spy. Don’t care how much she loves the blood. “Should have seen that coming.”
by name?” her daddy, if she comes near this ship again, I
just might shoot her. As for Finney—” Finney. “Indeed. When one invites the common
The official shook his head. Kristoff cleared his throat. “Sometimes, Ez, you element.” The governor waves a hand. “Escort
“Gear?” have to circle back around.” this—person—to the door.”
“Brown uniforms, like desert troops wear. # The guards surround Finney.
Metal-weave. Guns look like government Now, or she’ll always regret not trying.
issue.” Two young men stepped forward to support
the old woman, and she shuffled across the She grabs the rifle from the guard to her
Government issue. That meant more fire courtyard toward Finney. “Strong, are they right, knocks him down, turns, and ploughs
power than anything the Vega crew carried. not? They could snap me, crumble my bones down the men behind her by throwing herself
Excellent. Stinkin’ excellent. “Corrigan, toss as one crumbles a cracker, but they know there against them. She rolls across the floor, rises
this man out. Alerio, get these engines juiced. are many kinds of power.” Her gaze was cold as on one knee—aims at the governor.
Mercedes, there’s a man in the cage needs black space.
your attention. Ezra, help me up to the wheel-
house.” #
The corner of Finney’s mouth lifted in a half
smile. “Obsession. That’s a kind of power.”
“The wheelhouse?” Mercedes crossed her Finney righted herself, tasted the blood
arms and didn’t move. “Captain, when did One of the men strode forward and slapped inside her mouth. “Still don’t do anything
quenya bugs consume your brain?” her with the back of his hand. Her head snapped yourself. Means you get to keep your hands
sideways, and she staggered. clean—claim innocence. Is that how Parliament
“Hey, sweet mind like mine would make thought of you when you ordered Andronicus
pretty good eatin’.” Settlement burned?”
#
Doc did not look amused. Anger blazed in the old woman’s eyes. “It
Devlin staggers against a vase taller than he was a known refuge for rebels—”
Kristoff tapped Ezra’s shoulder, and the two is, and its crash silences the ballroom. People
of them continued toward the companionway. turn and stare. Governor Tarquin narrows her “My grandfather didn’t know the name of
eyes and glares at Finney, who wipes her mouth the rebel leader! He was a retired admiral and
“What’s the plan, captain?” with the back of her hand. She’s enjoyed her a law officer—a faithful servant to his govern-
“Fry’s small fry”—Kristoff’s mouth tipped share of recreation, but this isn’t fun, mutual, ment—and he died at the orders of a harbor
at the corner—”but with the Port Henry con- or on the agenda. governor with delusions of power.”
stabulary and Orpheus crew out there, and an

Thieves’ Honor,
The young man drew back his fist to hit her Kristoff moved awkwardly, and pain Keanan Brand
again, but Finney looked at him, dared him. He punched him in the chest. Gritting his teeth,
lowered his hand. he clenched the arm of the pilot’s chair.
Exhaled slowly. “The desert. Even a catamaran Keanan Brand used to play marbles with
# can’t penetrate the atmosphere by itself, so
the extraction team has to be somewhere his brother and some of the neighbor-
Finney ignores the blur of movement out of on-planet.” hood kids in rural Oregon, and became
“Unless they just flew that runner back to a a fair hand at the game, carrying around
the corner of her eye—it’s probably only one of
the guards making a run at her—and squeezes
the trigger. larger ship docked somewhere else.” his own mesh bag with a population that
That was a distinct possibility. fluctuated depending on the results of the
Open-mouthed, Devlin staggers, staring at
her in confused surprise. game. Anybody else remember steelies?
Over the radio, “Engines ready, captain.”
Cat’s eyes? Tiger stripes?
# “On your mark, Alerio.”
“Admiral Cunningham sheltered the rebels But as the Vega rose from her slip, she FYI: No references to other science fiction
lurched to port and ceased ascent.
who stole my goods, and you work for a captain or to Veggie Tales this time, but there’s a
who supplies stolen goods to the rebels.” The “Alerio, report.” one-word nod to The Lord of the Rings in
old woman walked forward a few steps on her
own power. “You killed my grandchild. I will kill “All systems on line, captain.” this episode. Hint: It’s near the end.
Cunningham’s.” She laughed, and the sound
was harsh, dry, triumphant. “Justice truly is Ezra unbuckled the harness, rose
poetic.” from his seat, and stood before the Keep up with Keanan on his website at
broad forward port that spanned the http://adventuresinfiction.blogspot.com/
The other young man tossed a drawstring front of the wheelhouse. “Captain”—his
bag to the bounty hunters behind Finney. voice sounded funny—”it’s out there.”
Kristoff fumbled his hand over the keypad,
The old woman slumped but her protectors entering the telescreen codes. An exterior
held her upright. Breathless, as if her moment image appeared. A grappling line shot past the
of victory exhausted her, “Twice that, Gregor, bow. The ship jerked to starboard. The engines
when you bring me the crew of the Martina whined, their upward thrust pulling against the
Vega.” anchors.
# Kristoff unsnapped the radio above the
pilot’s console and pressed the talk button.
“Strap in, Ezra.” “Attention, all hands. Kill the engines. Check all
weapons. Prepare to be boarded.”
“No disrespect, captain, but where are we
going?”

Deuces Wild, Season Two, Chapter 7: Suicide Run, Part Two by L. S. King Pg. 66
Deuces Wild, Season Two
Chapter 7: Suicide Run, Part Two
by L. S. King
When we last left our heroes, they had clearing. This time their rifles were aimed at “Oh, come now. How can one uneducated
taken the job of breaking the blockade to deliver Slap. One of Granger’s men stepped forward hick make or break your war with Eridani?”
supplies to a colony on Regesh III. En route, possessively, PBR raised. “Mr. Granger?”
Slap discovered Addie had stowed away and Baldwin drew his PBG. “He’s ours.”
warned her to keep out of sight. Slap, Tristan, Granger turned, and he frowned, his eyes
narrowing. “He comes with me.” Granger barely lifted one eyebrow, but
and Carter managed to get to the surface of his men all swung their rifles to point at the
the blockaded planet without incident but as The commander strode forward, shaking commander. “I think...” His lip curled slightly in
they unloaded the last of the cargo, Confed- his head. “My superiors want this one.” a smile. “...not.”
eration soldiers and mercenaries surrounded
them, rifles drawn, under direction of one of Slap tried not to hunch—what would either Baldwin cursed at Granger, fingering
Tristan’s old familiars, Reggie Granger. of them want with him? his weapon, as he carefully lowered it. The
colorful imagery of the profanity drew Slap’s
# “Our deal, Commander Baldwin,” Granger attention—none of it was possible, anatomi-
said, in a tone one would use to correct an cally, but it was highly imaginative—even as
S lap took in the scene, looking for a way of

escape—or a chance to fight. Except for the
three soldiers charged with guarding Carter,
errant child, “was to help you get your AWOL
mad scientist back. This boorish bumpkin is of
no concern to you.”
he glanced at Tristan for direction; certainly
his friend would find a way to put this hitch in
their captors’ plans to good use.
the Confeds and Granger’s men stood at the “Our deal, Mr. Granger,” the commander A loud whine rose behind Slap, and he
edge of the clearing, weapons trained on Slap replied tersely, “was to help you capture that turned to stare at Bertha’s engines, his surprise
and his friends, an impressive and deadly half pirate—and only because he was in our way as turning to shock as he saw them pivoting up. Is
circle. Carter sat in the gravlift, at the end of much as yours. This Separatist is necessary for she taking off? What—?
the ramp, looking sick. our war efforts against the Eridani.”
Tristan, standing near Slap, didn’t move—he Someone slammed into Slap, knocking him
Uh oh! I ain’t goin’ back to that place! Slap face first into the grass, his breath jarred from
had locked his gaze with Granger’s, unintimi- looked around at all the weapons pointed at his lungs. Hot dirt peppered his skin. The wash
dated by the man’s smarmy, superior attitude, him. He couldn’t fight, not all of them; but he from the engines let up, and Tristan’s voice in
his eyes smoldering like black coals. Granger’s wasn’t going back. If he had to make them kill his ear hissed, “Let’s go!”
men stepped forward, closing the distance to him, he wasn’t going back!
the ship. Slap bounded up and ran for the ship.
Granger laughed—low and soft, and a Everyone had either hit the ground or been
“Out of the ‘lift, Donegal,” one of the shiver whipped up Slap’s spine. The man’s silky rolled away by the wash, and only a few were
Confeds said. voice, fancy Dapper Dan clothes, and manner struggling to their feet. Carter had been closer;
Carter slowly climbed down, face pale. masked...what? Something...something he was already up the ramp and standing by
horrible. Evil. Sure, Tristan could be smooth the controls.
The commander gestured a second time, and high-falutin’—yet dangerous underneath,
and several Confed soldiers crossed the but not without...without a soul. Tristan’s game leg slowed his pace, and he

fell behind—Slap whipped around, grabbing Slap reached past Addie and brought up Tristan’s jaw muscles jumped. “How long to
Tristan around the waist, and continued on, a display. Sure enough, lots of red blips were fix them?”
half-carrying his friend. headed their way.
“Not sure, Sir. Working on it.”
He expected to be fried by a particle beam “Time for one pass. Hold on.”
or hit by some other weapon any second— “We’re easy targets in the air or on the
nearby sizzles and pings told of near misses by The ship twisted like a corkscrew and ground—make it fast!”
the chasing men. He dove for the rising ramp, headed back around, with all four plasma
cannons firing—each targeting a different “Understood, Sir.”
Tristan beside him. They barely made it; the
ramp tumbled them the rest of the way inside troop shuttle. Slap’s stomach flipped, not from “What are you gonna do?” Slap asked.
as it shut. any feeling of the motion, since the inertial
dampers were doing their job, but from the “Flying is dangerous—we can be smeared
The engines’ whine rose again. Tristan visual of flying upside-down. into jelly as I try to avoid them. But landing
leapt to his feet and tore for the nearest ladder would make us an easy target.”
as fast as his limp allowed. He didn’t even ask “What are you doing?” Addie shouted.
who could have started the engines—did he Slap nodded. “Yeah, like shooting ducks in
“The top turrets can’t hit targets on the
know about Addie? How did the girl know how a barrel.”
ground unless the ship is belly-up,” Carter said
to start engines anyway? Slap followed, half from over the comm. Bertha shook again, and Addie squealed.
out of curiosity, half to intervene before Tristan
could kill her for stowing away. Slap switched to monitor for a moment “Strap in,” Slap said to her.
to show the grounded ships aflame. Bertha
Partway up the ladder, the ship tilted, and finished her pass and lifted through the clouds. The ship rocked, and Addie scrambled to
he hung on until Bertha straightened up again. He brought the first display back up and dug secure herself. Slap was only saved from being
That addle-brained gal ain’t trying to fly the his fingers into the back of Addie’s seat. “The flung into the bulkhead by his grip on the
ship, is she? fighters are almost on us!” chair.
Slap got to the bridge seconds behind “Are we the green thingie?” Addie asked, “What’s going to happen?” Addie
Tristan, just in time to hear him snarl, “Out of pointing. whispered, her eyes wide.
the way!” and snatch Addie out of the pilot’s
chair by her arm. “Yes, and the other ships are red,” Slap “Carter...” Tristan growled.
whispered. “Now, shh!”
“You could at least say thank you,” she “Doing my best, Sir. I’m activating the
spluttered. Bertha climbed higher but then rocked emergency cross-links on the waveguide
and shuddered—Addie gave a frightened cry. conduits from the other three generators into
“Hush, Little Girl! Don’t distract him. Let Slap could feel a change; he had to hold on to the failed generator’s waveguides...” Carter’s
him get us outta here.” the chair tightly now to just keep his balance. voice faded out and back, “I’m boosting the
Addie actually shut up. Slap shoved her Tristan swore one earthy word, flicking the power output of the other three generators.
into the co-pilot’s seat as the ship rose through comm open. “Carter?” There! That should be enough to last use until
the air. I can properly fix it.”
“Fore upper deck inertial dampers and grav
“Fighters incoming,” Tristan murmured. are compromised.” Whatever Carter said he was doing must
have worked; Slap found he could stand without

feeling like he was going to slam sideways. “So, we’re sight-only?” too close, but we might want to take a peek.
From the size, I’d guess it’s a ground hub for
Tristan banked the ship to begin assault on “Yes, Sir. Unless they launch directed forward operations.”
the Confed ships firing on them. With Bertha’s scanner probes.”
weaponry and Tristan’s piloting, the fight Slap’s mouth dropped open. “They want to
wasn’t that long, but it seemed like it to Slap “What are you going to do?” foray into the Cygnus Hegemony when they’re
as he watched the red blips glow yellow and already at war with Eridani? Are they crazy?”
“I can try to fly this thing past an armada—or
blink out. Tristan’s face was intent, but he had a hide. Any suggestions for a third alternative?” Carter’s answering snort said it all.
gleam in his eye—was it the piloting, the fight,
or merely the challenge that energized him? “Well...” Carter drew out that one word in a “The Eridani war was not expected to last
way that made Slap wince. this long,” Tristan put in. “They thought it
Just as the last fighter disappeared from
the display, Carter’s voice cut in: “Uh, Captain, would be an easy win. Their expansion here
“Sane alternatives,” Tristan quickly
we have a problem.” was probably put on hold, and they’ve been
amended. blockading this world as a way to hide this
“What?” Bertha was so low now, she almost skipped base—and their plans.”
over the tops of the snow-covered mountains.
“A battle fleet just arrived.” “But the blockade itself shows everyone
Slap’s stomach complained at the swoops and they want to expand in this direction.” Slap
Tristan muttered under his breath. “Are you turns as Tristan wove around cliffs and craggy, scratched his head, his curly hair tangling in his
sure it’s a full fleet?” icy tors. Addie let out one alarmed squawk, fingers. “I don’t get it.”
then clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Yes, Sir. I’m reading three battleships, a “There’s a difference between staking
command carrier, two assault carriers, six—” “They’ll launch the probes,” Tristan a claim to pioneer a planet that’s in an
muttered. “We need to mask ourselves. Carter, ambiguous section of space, and building a
“I don’t need a run down.” Tristan dove can you use the multi-spectral analyzer? Look base to use as a hub for your fleet so you can
Bertha down toward the planet again, plunging for concentrated metal deposits?” begin an incursion.” Tristan’s fingers pulled up
under the clouds.
“Already doing that, Sir.” a second display for a few moments, then it
“All those ships just for us?” Slap asked. disappeared. “Base noted, but I’m not getting
Time seemed to race faster than both ol’ any closer to get any further information. Give
“They were probably on stand-by as rein- Bertha and Slap’s heart rate, but when Carter me coordinates that help us, Carter. We have
forcements for the blockade,” Carter said. “And finally spoke, it wasn’t reassuring. “We have an to hide now.”
either when we took off or when we blew their interesting development, Captain. I think Slap
troop shuttles, they responded.” hit on it earlier. Why would the Confederation “This mountain range has lots of canyons,
take such an interest in this planet?” caves, mines—”
“It seems overkill,” Slap muttered. “Why all
that for one out-of-the-way planet?” “I don’t want questions—I want answers,” “Pick one.”
Tristan hissed. “We’re running out of time.”
“Carter, is our signal still masked?” “Yes, Sir. This looks good.”
“I know, Sir, and this complicates things.
“Yes, Sir, and I’ve already disabled the Tristan’s eyes flicked at his read-outs. “Copy
There’s a base north of us. I’m giving you the
warhead transponder we’d used upon entry.” that. Let’s get out of sight.”
coordinates now. Not that I think we should get

Bertha shivered—the gravity wavered, A new voice filtered through. “Don’t be engineer friend away from here unharmed. He
Addie screamed as the klaxon blared, the lights stupid, Gaston. Our ship can annihilate yours. has some new ideas the Confeds would love to
blinked out leaving only the emergency lights in The Confederation fleet will blast you without get their hands on, however I don’t trust you,
the bulkheads. Slap’s stomach wobbled up and a thought. I’ll take you out of here—and your and that’s not likely to change.” He tapped
down, making him clench his jaw and swallow friends, since they seem to mean so much to the console. “Carter, get ready to blow that
repeatedly. you.” blockade carrier with one of your MITEs when
the time is right.”
Tristan flicked his hand to a switch. The Tristan’s lip curled in a slight sneer, then
warning alarm silenced, but Addie didn’t. it converted to...something unreadable. He “Uh...yes, Sir.”
Carter was saying something but Slap couldn’t hit several switches on the comm. “What
hear for the caterwauling. guarantee can you give me, Reggie? How do I Another tap. “Give me a sign of good faith
know you won’t just space my friends, or strand that you’ll help us and not your Confederation
“Shut her up.” Tristan ordered. them here, or give them to the Confeds?” allies.”
The lights came up, and down stayed “You used to trust me implicitly.” The tone “Any suggestions?” Granger responded.
firmly down. Addie stopped and gulped back dripped with insincere hurt. “We don’t have much time, you know. A fleet
a sob, her knuckles white as she clutched the has arrived.”
arm rests. Slap let his breath out, relieved his “Used to.”
breakfast wasn’t about to become bulkhead “Think about it for a minute. You’re
decorations. He patted the girl’s shoulder, as “This does present a problem, doesn’t it, creative.” Tristan paused, his eyes crinkling
much to calm himself as her, and murmured, then. I tell you what, we will start by ceasing slightly, lips pursed in what Slap now recog-
“Hush, gal, hush, now. Don’t distract Tristan.” our attack on you. Reciprocate?” nized as his attempt to not smile.
Face pale, Addie nodded, leaning back in The yacht pulled back, weapons no longer The silence grew; Slap tried not to fidget.
the chair as if it could protect her. firing. The two ships flew in loose tandem. Slap He thought he knew what Tristan was up to,
was pleased he could read the display enough but he couldn’t be sure.
“We’ve got company, Captain,” Carter said. to see Tristan kept a lock on their ship.
“Not Confederation. It’s your friend.” One of the dots blipped to yellow, and in a
“My finger remains poised.” few seconds, Granger’s voice broke the quiet
“Turn about is fair play,” Tristan muttered with maddened invectives. Tristan cut him
as he pulled Bertha up and looped—flying A dark chuckle. “The Confederation would off: “Good show, Reggie! I do think trying to
upside-down. Slap leaned forward again and rather kill you all than let their mad genius destroy one of their carriers will definitely hurt
changed the display once again. get away again. However, they are my—albeit your shaky alliance.”
temporary—allies. They’ll let me leave without
Tristan attacked Granger’s ship—or tried question. I can get you away from this planet. “You! You did that! How would I have the
to. Granger’s pilot did some sort of roll and All of you.” A pause. “You don’t really have means to attempt an assault on one of their
came around, trying to get on Tristan’s tail, just much choice.” ships?”
like Tristan was trying to do to theirs.
Tristan lips pursed, his fingers moving over “You think we did that?” Tristan’s voice was
“Captain,”—Carter’s voice was edgy—”they the console in easy, practiced motions, and all astonishment. “When were we even near
have weaponry on par with ours. This could get second display popped up showing little blue their craft? I would wager you’ve been aboard
messy.” dots far above the planet. “I do want to get my their ships, and I wouldn’t doubt Dray has his

spies in the Confederation, like Jacek Polk in Tristan pulled some whirled-up, corkscrew- “You never do,” he said over his shoulder,
the Cirque.” ish thing and ended up heading straight for striding away.
Granger’s ship—firing everything they had, it
Granger’s reply was physical—his ship looked like. Granger’s red target dot turned Addie stomped a foot, eyes flashing.
began firing on Bertha again, but Tristan was yellow. It broke away, trailing smoke.
already diving, evading. “Leave it be. We have trouble crowdin’
Slap whooped, and Addie cheered, clapping around right now. Be glad he’s not overly mad
Slap couldn’t resist. “What are you up to, her hands. at you for being here.”
Tristan?”
“Now to hide before probes can find us,” “But I did good. You know I did!”
“Confusion to the enemy.” Tristan muttered. Again, mountains loomed “You did. But you know, sometimes you
below as they dropped under the clouds.
“Which enemy?” gotta do the right thing even if no one knows or
Bertha slipped and dipped in spaces so narrow gives you credit. Think about that, Little Girl.”
“Exactly.” Tristan switched out the planetary that Slap gulped and clutched the seat’s back.
display for another, still trading shots with Rock face seemed to almost scrape the ship, Addie stuck her fists on her hips, her head
Granger’s ship. and the light dimmed as mountains blocked tilted, eyes narrowed. “You sound more like my
the sun. old aunt than a cowboy, you know that?”
“Could you chew it fine?” Slap grumbled.
They dove lower, and soon entered a grotto. Slap grinned. “Well, as long as I don’t look like
“He had the channel open when talking to The cave was huge; Slap hoped it was empty. your aunt.” He paused, wishing he could make her
Reggie,” Carter said. “The Confeds heard the “Can those probes find us in here?” understand. She wouldn’t, but he found himself
whole thing. So they now have doubts about saying it anyway: “The world ain’t about you—you
how trustworthy he is.” “Not likely.” Tristan set Bertha down want folks to like you, try doing for them, without
without a bump. wanting anything back.” He shook a finger at her.
“Not to mention, my desire of keeping
“Not impossible, either,” Carter added. “Now, stay away from Tristan.”
Carter’s ‘new ideas’ from them, giving them
pause in shooting first. They want Carter back “Yes, Auntie.” She stuck out her tongue and
Great. “So now what?”
badly.” flounced off.
“Carter can work on the inertial dampers
“Not sure that’s a plus, Captain. They might Slap rolled his eyes. He couldn’t do much to
and grav.” Tristan unstrapped and glared at
try harder for me now.” help fix the ship or get them off planet, but at least
Slap. “Keep her away from me. I have too much
to do to deal with—” he could make sure they were all fed. He ambled
“What’s so special about Carter?” Addie to the galley, trying not to think of the fleet above
asked, wrinkling her nose. Addie scrambled up, following Tristan to their heads somewhere, searching for them. How
Slap scowled. “I’m more interested in the the door. “Hey, I saved your lives!” were they ever going to get off the planet now?
ship shootin’ at us.” “No, you merely ended an awkward
“You’ve even got me a bit concerned over situation, for which I will not dump you here—
that, Captain. This dogfight can’t last much which is my first inclination.”
longer.” “You can’t even say thank you?”
“It won’t.”

To catch up on previous episodes of

the adventures of Slap and Tristan, visit:
http://loriendil.com/DW.php
Deuces Wild is dedicated to the memory of
my best friend; my inspiration for an enduring
friendship...http://loriendil.com/Starsky/
L. S. King
L. S. King is a science fiction and fantasy
writer with one book, several published
short stories, a column on writing, and an
ongoing monthly serial story to her cred-
it.
When on the planet, this mother and
grandmother lives in Delaware with her
husband Steve, homeschools their young-
est child, and also works as a gymnastics
coach. In her non-existent spare time she
enjoys gardening, soap making, reading,
and online gaming. She also likes Looney
Tunes, the color purple, and is a Zorro afi-
cionado, which might explain her love of
swords and cloaks.

This Raygun for Hire: The Great Author Affair, by John M. Whalen Pg. 72
This Raygun for Hire
The Great Author Affair
by John M. Whalen
“I want you to take me to where the pirates

are,” James Joyce Jameson, famous author
and Holovision raconteur said, as he took a
with e-books. They eventually replaced hard
copy, bound books. Of course the transition
was made possible by the fact that people really
swashbuckler. A man of derring-do. Everything
I knew about pirates came from other books.”
dainty sip of aperitif from a crystal goblet. “I’m didn’t have time to read. And with the average “Is that what you think Romero is? A
told you know Esteban Romero personally.” attention span dwindling to about nine milli- romantic hero of some kind?”
seconds, flash fiction became the rage. Whole
Frank Carson sat back in his chair and gazed “He certainly cuts a dashing figure,”
stories in 500 words. They eventually got
across the table at the small, thin, wiry-looking Jameson said.
them down to one word. But that only worked
man sitting across from him. They were in a because of Brain Fusion technology—the mini, “That’s what the media made of him. The
space port lounge orbiting the planet Tulon. computerized Brain Book Reading Unit. truth as always lies in a different direction. I
Through the window behind Jameson, Carson wouldn’t call Esteban Romero a hero. But he
could see a giant oil tanker just breaking free “For example, most romance novels now does have a certain code he lives by, and he’s
from the planet’s gravity as it hauled another contain only one word: LUST. But the reading not like most of the others. At least he and his
shipment of Tulon Crude. People were madly unit wirelessly transmits an entire tale of lust Black Vulture crew attack only League ships.
killing each other back on planet Earth, and to the brain in half a nano-second, giving the The other space scum who call themselves
they needed the oil to keep the machines of reader a complete erotic experience. My book, pirates prey on unarmed ships. They hijack
war running, so they could go on living and Pirates on the Rim of the Dark World, has only ships, cargo, crew, and hold them for ransom.
killing. one word: Treachery! But the unit sends a Space pirates in general are the lowest form
complete tale of treachery on the outer rim in
“Why do you want to meet Romero?” of life in the Universe, Mr. Jameson. The ones
such vivid detail you can taste the ozone in the
Carson asked. “He’s a dangerous man.” working around the Tarnesian belt raid villages
air.” and kidnap young girls, some twelve and
“Research,” Jameson said. “As you may “From just one word?” thirteen years old and sell them as sex slaves—
know, I’ve written several pirate novels. Best that is the ones they haven’t raped or killed
sellers. Perhaps you’ve read one of them?” “It’s the data encrypted into the reading themselves. Your romantic notions of piracy
unit as backup that makes the difference. couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“Can’t say I have,” Carson said. “I don’t That’s where the real work of an author lies.”
read today’s best sellers. Books aren’t what Jameson cupped his hand around the
they used to be. I prefer the old classics.” “Fascinating,” Carson said. “What do you glass goblet on the table. “Nevertheless, Mr.
mean ‘research’?” Carson, I have to meet Romero. You see, my
“All those words?” Jameson said. “How editor barely green-lighted my last book. She
do you have the time? So bothersome. The Jameson set his glass down and leaned said there wasn’t enough authentic detail. She
new Brain Books are much more convenient.” forward confidentially. “To be frank, Mr. Carson, can be a bitch when she wants to be. I need to
Jameson polished off his drink and poured my books, well written as they are, are only the get to where the pirates are. See what they’re
another from a decanter. “Publishing has purest of fiction. When I began them I knew like, watch how they operate. Then I’ll be able
changed a great deal in the last 150 years,” he nothing of pirates or space travel. All I knew to feed better data into the reading unit and
said. “It started in the early twenty-first century was that a pirate is a romantic character. A

come out with a better novel.” Carson picked up his glass of Synth- as he began. “We were both pretty young at
Scotch. the time,” Carson said. “I was in a bar one night
“Tell you what, Mr. Jameson,” Carson in Carbonville, down on Tulon. A poker game.
said. “Why don’t I save you a lot of time and “To piracy,” Jameson said. I didn’t know Romero. He was just another
expense. I’ll give you the one word that would privateer having a night on the town. He was
be perfect for your next book.” “To authenticity,” Carson replied. good at cards. Cleaned everyone at the table
out, including me. One of the players didn’t
“What word is that?” # like that much. When Romero picked up his
“Garbage.” winnings, the fellow pulled a laser knife behind
Later the two men climbed aboard Carson’s his back. I shot it out of his hand before he
Carson started to get up. Gull Wing Strato-Sled, The Corvette, which could throw it. Romero was grateful. Little did
sat on the spaceport’s landing dock. Jameson I know that night I saved the life of a man who
“Please, Mr. Carson,” Jameson said. “Don’t carried a small duffle bag, and Carson stowed would be wanted throughout the galaxy for
leave. Really, I’m in a bind. I have to do this, or it behind the seat. He did a quick rundown some of the worst crimes ever committed.”
my publisher will cancel my contract. Sales of of the take-off checklist, started the engine,
my books have started falling off. They won’t and they lifted off the runway. Once the coor- “Are all the charges against him true?”
stay with a loser. I understand you’re able to dinates for their destination were punched Jameson asked. “I always thought the League
move around Romero and his men unmolest- into the onboard navigator, he hit the launch just took whatever case they couldn’t solve
ed. You saved his life once.” sequence button, and, with a flash of blue and blamed it on him.”
light, they entered Hyper-Space. Carson let go
“That was a long time ago, before he turned of the controls and set the autopilot on. “There’s some truth to that,” Carson
renegade.” said. “The League definitely has it in for him.
Jameson took a Mini-Comm-Port out of his They’re nothing more than a bunch of corrupt
“That’s all right. I am prepared, Mr. Carson, bag. He held the recording device out closer to politicians. It’s kind of a private war between
to pay you one million Universal Credits to Carson. Romero and The League. But they’ve got all
safely take me to Romero and back. I only need the power.”
a few days with him. A million UC’s for just a “I’d like to ask you a few questions, if you
few days of your time. What do you say?” don’t mind,” he said. “You know, get some Jameson was quiet for moment. Carson
background details?” sensed something, some inner tension, almost
Carson gave the writer a cold look. Almost fear, within the writer. Jameson swallowed
a look of contempt. The word popinjay popped Carson frowned. “I’m not going to talk into hard. “Yeah, they’ve got all the power,” he
into Carson’s mind. He thought about the offer. that thing,” he said. said.
Maybe a dose of reality would do this popinjay
some good, he thought. Then he wondered Jameson turned it off. “Very well,” he said
with hint of exasperation in his voice. “Then #
where he got the word popinjay from.
just tell me, how you came to save Romero’s
“All right,” he said. “I’ll take you. But two life?” Two hours later The Corvette slammed
days. That’s all I can spare.” out of Hyper-Drive and Carson saw the purple
“You want the whole dog and pony show, sphere of the planet Sarna floating in black
“Excellent,” Jameson said. He picked up his eh?” Carson shook his head. “I guess that’s space ahead. They had journeyed to the back
goblet. “Let’s drink a toast.” what you’re paying me for.” He shifted in his end of the Jerulian Star System,
seat and stared out The Corvette’s windshield

“This is it?” Jameson said. “This is where covered the planet. “Silence!” the woman shouted. “I will ask
he’s been hiding? Of all the places!” the questions. What are you doing here? Who
“I’ve seen purple plants before, but never a are you?”
“It’s mostly jungle,” Carson said. “Impene- whole purple jungle,” Jameson said, gaping out
trable. You can hide anything down there from the window. Giant trees towered in the violet “My name’s Carson. This is James Joyce
the League’s Search Beams.” light of twilight, their purple and magenta Jameson. He’s a writer. A famous author.”
branches shrouded in a thick blue mist as the
There was a sudden blinding flash of light, a last rays of Sarna’s orange sun fell behind the The woman’s brow creased in a deep frown.
deafening explosion and The Corvette rocked. horizon. “A writer? What does a writer want here?”
Carson cut off the auto pilot and brought the
bucking ship under control. Ahead two small “The vegetation is different from what “Research,” Carson said. “Now if you
Tri-wing fighters seemed to slide into view you’re used to. There’s no chlorophyll on wouldn’t mind telling Romero we’re here—”
from nowhere, as they let their Invisi-Shields Sarna. There’s plenty of rain but not that much The woman stepped closer to Carson, her
down. sunlight. Enough to make the vegetation grow angry eyes looking him up and down.
but not enough for complete photosynthesis.
“Romero’s ships,” Carson said, activating The plants take nourishment more from the “Esteban is not here,” she said. “I am Lee-la.
The Corvette’s laser weapons system. water in the soil, which is rich in phosphates. Esteban’s second in command. I am also the
That’s what gives it the purplish color.” woman he loves. When he is not here, I am in
“Stop where you are,” a female voice
ordered. Carson hit the intercom. charge.”
“Interesting.”
“We’re friends,” Carson said. “My name is “Romero left a woman in charge?” Carson
Moments later Carson and Jameson stood
Carson. Where’s Captain Romero? I’ve come to asked incredulously.
with their hands up in the clearing where The
pay your captain a visit.” Corvette had landed, surrounded by a circle The woman’s eyes flashed angrily. “And
of ten scruffy-looking men. An assortment of why not?” There was a flash of movement, and
There was a brief pause. “Turn your weapons were aimed at them. A tall, shapely Carson felt the point of a dagger just under his
weapons off,” the woman said. “Follow us woman with long auburn hair broke through chin. “You find this difficult to believe?”
unless you want to be blasted into vapor where the circle and walked toward them. She wore
you stand.” a black leather outfit that emphasized every Carson gulped. “No, ma’am,” he said. “Just
One of the ships began a dive toward Sarna curve of her body and she moved with the surprising, that’s all.”
and Carson followed. The second ship waited slinky grace of a jungle cat.
“You had better watch your tongue, if you
for The Corvette to pass and followed close “Throw your weapon down,” she ordered. would not lose it,” Lee-la said. She lowered the
on its tail. As they lowered toward the planet, “Carefully. Kick it over here.” blade and turned to Jameson. “And you. What
Carson wondered who the woman in the ship do you write?”
was and what had happened to Romero. Carson used two fingers to remove his
blaster from the holster Velcroed to his leg and “I write space pirate novels,” Jameson said.
# dropped it on the ground. He kicked it toward “I asked Mr. Carson to bring me to meet with
her with the toe of his boot. Captain Romero. I want to talk to him. Interview
It was near dusk on Sarna, as Carson him for research for my next book.”
followed the pirate ship down to a small “Where’s Romero?” he asked. “I’m an old
clearing cut out of the dense purple jungle that friend of his.” The woman gaped at him incredulously.

“You came here to make research for a book?” now lived. Now however, most of the present knew how to find us?”
She turned to the men standing around them. day inhabitants of Sarna’s lost city stood in the
“You hear this? This famous author came vast chamber that served as a meeting hall. “I’ve been here before,” Carson said. “You
here to do a book about us. Can you believe Lee-la sat before the throng on a raised dais weren’t here then. But some of these men
anything so foolish? Eh?” She laughed, and the in what was once a throne carved from stone. must remember me.”
men laughed with her. Standing at the base of the dais, Carson looked She turned to the crowd. “How about it?
up at the haughty pirate queen and tried to say
“Enough!” Lee-la shouted. Her eyes Anyone know this man?”
something. But the shouts of the motley mob
widened and her nostrils flared. She stepped behind him drowned him out. “Aye, Lee-la,” a big, swarthy fellow shouted,
closer to Jameson. “You know what, Mr. Author. stepping forward. “I know him. His name is
I do not believe you, or your friend here. I do “Quiet!” Lee-la shouted. “The prisoner is Carson. He’s a gun for hire. Not much better
not think you came here to write a book about trying to speak. Let us hear what he has to say than a pirate himself.”
us. No. I think you came here to spy on us. I before we execute him.”
think you came for the League. I think you wish The woman looked back at Carson. “Is this
to betray us to them!” “I was just asking where your captain is,” true?”
Carson said. “If we could see him, this whole
“No!” Jameson said. “It’s not true.” matter could be cleared up in an instant.” “Part of it,” Carson said. “The gun for hire
part.”
“Seize these men,” the woman ordered. “Captain Romero is not here,” Lee-la said.
“Take them to the stockade. We shall investi- “I already told you that.” She glanced back at the man who had
gate this further.” spoken. “Does Captain Romero call him
“Where is he? When will he be back?” friend?”
Six burly men grabbed the prisoners and
marched them across the hearing toward a “He’s on a raiding party,” Lee-la said. “He “The last time this man was here the
trail that ran deep into the darkening jungle. should have been back days ago. We’ve had no captain told him to get out and that if he ever
word from him. I think he has run into trouble. came back, he’d have him executed. I wouldn’t
# League trouble.” say that sounds very friendly.”
She stood up, her eyes fierce. “But why am
With torches blazing, the ancient city “It was just a misunderstanding,” Carson
I telling you something you probably already
buried in the jungle seemed as much alive as said. “If he were here, he’d tell you so himself.
know? If you are spies for the League you
it must have thousands of years ago when the He’s probably forgotten all about that.”
already know what has happened to him.”
original inhabitants, a lost race half ape-half “What is this?” Jameson said. “I thought
human, dwelt there. The stone masonry of the Jameson spoke up. “I assure you, madam, you and he—”
buildings and courtyards bespoke of an intel- we have nothing whatever to do with the
ligence, but what had happened to the ancient League. I am an author, as I told you. I came “We are. It was just a little argument we
race that had built the city was now only a here to get to know what pirate life is really had.”
mystery. like.”
“That’s enough,” Lee-la said. “I will waste
A small palace, now crumbling but still ser- Lee-la stared at him, her black eyes almost no more time with you. We find you guilty of
viceable, stood in the center of the city, sur- amused looking. “You are an absurd character,” spying. There can be only one sentence for such
rounded by smaller buildings in which pirates she said. She turned to Carson. “How is it you a crime. Take them to the Pool of Death!”

The mob roared to life, and the two prisoners Another roar went up into the jungle shouted, and a man broke through the dense
found themselves pushed and punched to the as the crowd grabbed Carson first and then foliage between the trees. He was a tall, well-
floor, where they were bound with ropes, hand Jameson. Carson didn’t even try to struggle to proportioned man with a thin black mustache
and foot. Once they were trussed up, Carson free himself. He knew it was futile. His attitude and long dark hair. Like Lee-la, he was dressed
and Jameson were lifted up on the men’s toward death had always been that one day in black leather. It was Esteban Romero! He had
shoulders and carried across the throne room it would come, and when it did, there would a plasma blaster in his hand, from the muzzle
floor and out the front door into the street. be no use fighting the inevitable. Jameson, on of which ozone vapors now curled.
The shouting throng, sputtering torches in the other hand, began screaming, kicking, and
hand and led by Lee-la, marched down the biting to get himself free. “What goes, here?” he asked. “Having an
street and out the front gate of the city. Two execution without me?”
moons shone in the black sky above and disap- In a few moments Carson stood at the edge
of the pool, his feet now on the wooden plank “Esteban!” Lee-la ran to him. “Welcome
peared as they followed the trail back into the
that would serve as the path of his last walk. home!” They embraced and kissed. “We
jungle. This they followed, twisting their way thought you were in some kind of trouble.
through the dense foliage until they came to “Any last words, spy?” Lee-la asked. These two showed up and we suspected them
another small clearing. The men placed their of being spies for the League.”
torches in stanchions that had been fashioned “No. Let’s get it over with.”
out of thick, twisted liana vines all around the “Spies?” Romero let go of the woman
periphery of the clearing. Jameson erupted in screeches. “Say and walked around the edge of the pool. He
something, man,” he shouted. “Do something. looked at Jameson first and then out at the
They untied the ropes binding Carson and I hired you to protect me. You were supposed man standing at the end of the plank. His eyes
Jameson’s legs. One of the men picked a fruit to get me safe passage.” opened wide and a toothy grin split his face.
growing on one of the trees and tossed it down
into the purple floor of the clearing. Carson “You want a refund?” “Carson! Amigo! What are you doing out
was astonished when he saw the fruit fall there?”
through the clearing floor and water suddenly “Start walking, Carson,” Lee-la ordered.
splashed up. What he had taken for the purple Carson felt something blunt strike him in the “Esteban! Old buddy. Glad to see you
grass common to the planet was actually moss back. He turned and saw a man wielding a haven’t forgotten me.”
covering what appeared to be a deep pool. long pole. He prodded Carson again to move
Suddenly the water came alive. Half a dozen forward. Carson started walking slowly out the “No,” the pirate said, and then the smile
black, massive, elongated heads jumped up to length of the plank. It bounced up and down disappeared and he suddenly frowned. “And I
the surface. Carson stepped back. The pond under his weight. He came to the end of the haven’t forgotten how we parted.”
was full of Croco-saurs. The long-snouted plank and looked down. The vicious reptiles
swarmed and made ugly growling, grunting “Just a little misunderstanding between
monsters twirled and twisted in the water,
noises, their bloodshot eyes looking up at him friends. That girl—I didn’t know you were that
angry at being awakened so suddenly.
hungrily. serious about her.”
Carson noticed up ahead a wooden plank
Carson could sense the man with the pole “Girl!” Lee-la said. “What girl?”
stretched out from the floor of the jungle over
the pool. ready to make his lunge. In a second it would “No girl, Lee-la,” Romero said. “It was a long
be all over. Then something loud cracked, a time ago.” He wasn’t anxious to follow that line
“All right, men,” Lee-la shouted. “These light flashed in the jungle to the right of the of discussion. “Carson! Amigo! Come down off
two have been found guilty of spying, and we pool, and the pole shattered into splinters. The of there.”
will now carry out the sentence. Death by the man holding it yelled in surprise.
plank!” He turned to Lee-la. “How could you
“Hold it, you scurvy space-dogs,” a voice
execute my friend this way? Lee-la, I’m disap- study Romero and his men to use us in your Romero and Lee-la at an immense, ornately-
pointed in you. This man saved my life once. books? Lee-la, do you hear this? Mr. Jameson carved table made of solid oak. They ate off
How can I let you kill him now?” is going to make us famous!” gold plates and drank from jeweled goblets.
Carson walked back to the edge of the “We already are famous,” the woman said. “Life has treated you well, Esteban,” Carson
pond, and Romero cut the ropes away from his said, sipping some fresh fruit juice.
arms. “My friend, how good it is to see you,” “Don’t listen to her,” Romero said. “She’s
he said, grabbing Carson’s shoulders with his just angry because I spoiled the execution. “I have treated myself well, my friend,”
two hands. “It’s been such a long time.” Come! Let’s go back to the palace. I want to Romero answered. “Life doesn’t care one way
hear more.” or another. It will treat you cruelly as easily as
“I’m glad to see you too,” Carson said, it will treat you kindly. A man has to take what
glancing back at the swirling waters of the He put his arm around Carson’s shoulder as he wants from life, or he’ll die.”
pool. they walked back down the jungle trail toward
the city. “Hey, amigo,” he said. “Now we’re “Tell me, Captain,” Jameson said. “Can
“We have a lot of catching up to do,” Romero even. You saved my life that time many years you remember your first adventure?” He had
said. “But tell me what brings you here.” ago. Now I saved yours. The slate is clean.” the Mini-Port-Comm on the table in front of
him. “Do you remember what happened the
“I brought somebody,” Carson said. Carson felt strange as they walked back to day you knew it was your destiny to become a
“Captain Esteban Romero I’d like you to meet the city, as though, bringing Jameson here had space pirate?”
James Joyce Jameson, a famous author. He been a huge mistake. But the delight Romero
writes pirate books, or what passes for books showed as he talked to the author made him Romero smiled. “Destiny,” he said, his eyes
these days.” shake off the feeling. Still, he thought, the beaming. “I like that word. I like the way you
sooner the two days he’d promised Jameson speak, Mr. Jameson.” He nudged Lee-la with
“James Joyce Jameson!” Romero beamed. were up the better. an elbow. “You hear that? Destiny. Only a real
“I love your work. You’re one writer who really writer uses words like that.”
seems to understand the pirate mind.” He #
turned to Lee-la. “Honey, this is a famous man! Carson ate some of the scrambled Gorko
And you were going to kill him too?” bird egg Romero’s cook served and drank a hot
The next morning, Carson and Jameson beverage made of some sort of ground beans,
“I thought he was a damn spy!” awoke early in the room Romero had given that vaguely resembled Earth coffee. He could
them in the palace. Ancient and crumbling as see that Romero was clearly infatuated with
“A spy! You’re not a spy, are you, Mr. the city and its edifices were, the pirate had his visitor. The idea of being immortalized in
Jameson?” managed to fit the interiors of the rooms with a book had completely swept Esteban Romero
the finest furniture, carpets, and tapestries
“No, no. Absolutely not.” off his feet. The legendary pirate began orating
from all over the world. It had all been taken in the story of his first act of space piracy some
plunder over the fifteen years Esteban Romero
“Then what are you doing here?” fifteen years ago, and Carson could only
had plied his trade. A girl brought fresh fruit chuckle to himself, as the captain spared no
Carson interrupted. “Research.” and told them they were invited to breakfast detail, no dramatic inflection in the telling of
with the captain. the tale. The space pirate’s ego was swelling
“Research?” Romero was surprised. “You
The palace dining hall was as richly beyond even its normally huge proportions.
mean you want to know more about pirate life
for your books? How interesting. You want to appointed as the other rooms. They sat with After breakfast, Romero and Jameson went

off together to the clearing the pirates used like.” when he’d said back in The Corvette as they
as a landing strip. The captain wanted to give approached Sarna that the League has all the
Jameson a tour of the Black Vulture, a 200-ton, Carson didn’t say anything. He didn’t like power. He had sense an inner turmoil in the
mega-war ship, equipped with laser cannons, the man either. Was it just his superciliousness? man. He’s seemed suddenly afraid. Why?
Invisi-shields, and Hyper-Drive that could reach He didn’t know. Carson wanted to change the
twenty times the speed of light. subject. “How do you like the life of a pirate? Carson found the black canvass duffle bag
Must be hard for a woman.” that Jameson had brought with him lying on
While they were gone, Carson spotted the floor at the foot of the bed he’d slept in
Lee-la sitting rather dejectedly in the courtyard “Why? I can do anything any man can do.” overnight. He didn’t like snooping in other
outside the palace. She sat on an old canon people’s property, but some instinct drove him
“But times are changing. The League is
that once fired cannon balls and now stood in to open the bag and look inside it. He found a
dedicated to wiping out piracy. And in a way
the courtyard more as a decorative ornament change of clothes, some toiletries, a couple of
the pirates have brought it on themselves. It’s
than a weapon. Jameson’s Brain Books, and underwear. Hold it!
not like the old days. Pirates used to have a Beneath the underwear, something winked red
“What’s the matter?” Carson asked. “You sort of code of honor they lived by. Now, the at him. He threw the underwear out on the bed
look a little fed up.” new generation I guess you can call them, and found a small cloth-covered compartment
they’re not much more than savage animals. sewn into the bottom of the bag. Something
“This writer, Jameson,” Lee-la said. “He talks The atrocities they’ve committed have made it inside the compartment sent out a steady red
too much. And asks too many questions.” harder for Romero. Now he’s forced to hide out blinking light. Carson felt a sinking sensation in
in this god-forsaken place. Not many places left
“Romero doesn’t seem to mind it.” the pit of his stomach. He tore the cloth away
for him. He may not be as bad as the others, and grabbed the square object that lay under
but when they catch him, they’ll execute him
“He’s in love with him!” Lee-la said. “Now it. A galaxial positioning tracker. Damn!
just the same.”
he has no time for Lee-la.”
Carson stormed out of the room and
“This I know,” Lee-la said. “But what is to
“Well, we’ll only be here another day,” strode out of the palace. He ran into Lee-la
be done? It is too late to turn back the clock.”
Carson said. “And then we’ll be gone.” in the street next to the courtyard. She saw
something wrong in Carson’s face. “What is
The girl looked up at him from the corners # it?”
of her eyes. “Lee-la will be sorry to see you go,”
she said. Later that afternoon, Carson returned to “I’ve made a terrible mistake,” Carson said.
his room. A nagging feeling had been bothering “Is Romero still out at the air strip?”
Carson could sense trouble. “Last night you him all morning. When Lee-la had voiced her
wanted to kill me.” suspicions about Jameson a faint sense of “Yes,” Lee-la said, running to keep up with
alarm had gone off inside him. And it wasn’t him. “What’s wrong?”
“That was last night,” she said. “Lee-la does the first time he’d had a bad feeling about the
not feel that way this morning.” Both of them ran out of the city and minutes
man. What did he know about him after all? later found Romero, Jameson at his side, the
“Sure we’re not really spies?” He had come to Carson out of the blue asking ever present Comm-Corder in his hand. They
for his help and he’d rather recklessly agreed stood in the clearing before the massive bulk
The girl frowned and the look in her eye without bothering to check him out. of The Black Vulture. The onyx-colored ship
changed. “I don’t know. Maybe not you. But
Carson remembered how Jameson reacted seemed almost a living thing that could lift off
that Jameson. Something about him I do not the ground and fly off at any moment. It’s size

dwarfed Carson’s gull wing fighter sitting at the They made me an offer. They’ve been after eye. “Don’t make me draw,” Carson said, the
other end of the field. He hoped he’d never Romero for years. They said my career as a palm of his hand hovering over the laser pistol
have to meet The Vulture in combat. writer of pirate stories would be a good cover. strapped to his leg.
They knew you were Romero’s friend. It was a
“Romero!” Carson yelled. The pirate turned, perfect set up. I had no choice!” “Drop your weapons,” Jameson shouted.
a smile on his face. The men turned and saw Jameson with his
“Kill him,” Lee-la shouted. arm yoked around Lee-la’s neck, her pistol in
“Amigo!” he shouted. “Come, I was just his hand.
telling Mr. Jameson—” “Step aside, Carson.” Romero gripped his
plasma pistol and stepped forward, his mouth “Shoot him,” Lee-la yelled.
“Don’t tell him anything,” Carson said. “I’ve twisted in an angry grimace.
blundered, my friend. I’m sorry. This man is “Drop the pistols on the ground now,”
a spy for the League. I found this in his bag.” “Stop him, Carson,” Jameson screeched. “I Jameson said.
Carson held the positioning device out in paid you to protect me. You took my money,
his hand. “He’s sending your location to the now do your job.” Carson and Romero let the guns slip from
League.” their hands.
Carson let go of him, and Jameson ran
“You see,” Lee-la shouted. “I was right!” around behind him, keeping Carson between Jameson started dragging the woman
Romero and him. backward, toward the jungle. Even though he
Carson threw the device to the ground and had control of the situation, he was panicked.
stomped it with the heel of his boot until the “Hold it, Esteban!” Carson said. “Shouldn’t “Keep your hands up, and don’t follow us.”
plastic case was smashed and the light stopped you be getting out of here?” Lee-la tried to wrest herself free, but Jameson
blinking. “You and your men have got to get out put the pistol to her forehead. “Don’t try it!”
of here. League ships must be on their way.” “After I shoot him.”
Carson started to move. “Stay where you
Romero turned on the diminutive Jameson, “Can’t let you do that.” are,” Jameson yelled. He fired a purple blast of
towering over him like a bear about to attack. plasma at Carson, who dove on the ground out
“What? Why not.”
“Is this true?” of the way of the ray. Lee-la raised her leg and
“He’s my client. He paid for my services. brought her foot down on Jameson’s instep.
Jameson turned white. He ran behind The man yelled and let go of her. He jumped
Once I take a job, I see it through. You know
Carson. “Stop him, Carson,” he yelled. “He’s back and fired. The girl yelped and spun around,
that. I can’t let you kill him.”
going to kill me.” then fell on the ground. Romero, now heedless
“After what he did? I admire your profes- of the threat from Jameson’s gun, ran toward
Carson grabbed Jameson’s shirt and pulled sional ethics, but he betrayed you too.” him. With a cry of fear Jameson fired a wild
him close. “I ought to kill you myself,” he blast that missed Romero, then ran into the
snarled. “Why, Jameson? Why did you do it?” “I know. But I still can’t let you do it. He may jungle, following the trail back to the ancient
be a worthless scumbag, but I’ve been paid to city.
“I didn’t have any choice,” the writer cried. see he doesn’t come to any harm.”
“It was either do what they wanted or go to jail. Carson ran behind Romero, who stopped
You see the League found out I owed millions “Don’t make me kill you, Carson, just to get to kneel next to Lee-la. She looked up at him
in unpaid taxes. It was all my accountant’s to him.” in pain. Her shoulder was burnt black by the
fault. I tried to explain. I would never cheat the ray. “I’m all right,” she said, sitting up with
government. But they wouldn’t believe me. The two men stood face to face, eye to

Romero’s help. “Jameson,” Carson shouted. “Stop. Throw #

that gun away.”
“Get her on The Vulture,” Carson said. He Carson sat back in the pilot seat of The
noticed that men had run out of the ship at the “No! Romero will kill me.” Corvette, holding an old, beat up looking hard
sound of the shots and were coming toward cover book in his lap. The gull wing was on
them. “Round up all your crew and get out of “He’s gone,” Carson yelled. “They’re all
gone. You can come out.” auto pilot, the course set for Tulon. It would
here. The League will come down on this place be a couple of hours before he got home. He
with everything they’ve got.” settled back, put his feet up on the dash and
A plasma blast singed the leaves of the tree
Romero cradled Lee-la in his arms. “You next to Carson’s head. He ducked down. opened the worn volume. He began to read:
should have let me kill him,” he said. “But I “Peter Blood, bachelor of medicine, among
“I don’t believe you!”
understand why you didn’t. A man has to have other things besides, smoked a pipe and tended
something, some set of rules, or we all just “Come on out,” Carson said. “I’ll take you the geraniums boxed on the sill of his window
turn into things like those creatures in the Pool back. You won’t be harmed.” above Water Lane in the town of Bridgewa-
of Death.” ter...”
“Back where? When the League finds
“You should kill him,” Lee-la said, nodding Romero gone, I’ll face twenty years in prison Carson shifted his weight, and thought,
at Carson. “He brought all this trouble to you.” for tax evasion. I’ll take my chanced in the now that’s writing.
jungle.”
Romero helped the woman to her feet.
Romero’s men surrounded them. “In the heat “You’re talking crazy,” Carson shouted.
of anger a moment ago I could have killed “Come on out.”
you,” he told Carson. “With all my men here
it would be easy to kill you now. But not this “No! Go away!” Another blast broke a tree
time. Esteban Romero has his rules too. Adios, limb off above where Carson was standing.
amigo.” Carson heard footsteps thumping ahead on
With a wave of the hand, Romero led Lee-la
the trail. There was a sudden commotion of
branches cracking and breaking and then a
John M. Whalen
and his crew back to The Black Vulture. loud splash. Jameson let out a blood curdling
scream that echoed through the trees. Carson John M. Whalen’s stories have appeared
Carson turned and ran down the trail into heard the growls and grunts and snapping jaws
the jungle. The path ran a quarter mile to a in the Flashing Swords E-zine, pulpand-
of the Croco-saurs.
point where it forked, one way going to the city
and the other further into the jungle. Carson He stood up and holstered his pistol. The dagger.com, and Universe Pathways
stopped to consider which way Jameson might screaming stopped suddenly and a terrible magazine. His Jack Brand stories are a
have gone. Then he heard the crack of a tree silence lay across the dank, tangled jungle.
limb from further back in the jungle. He took staple here at Ray Gun Revival maga-
Carson turned around and headed back up the
off at a run in that direction. trail. There was no need to find out what had zine.
happened at the Pool of Death.
Several hundred yards further he saw a
flash of movement through the trees ahead. Contact the author here.

Pg. 81
The RGR Time Capsule
December 2008
Sci-Fi news from the Ray Gun Revival forums
RGR Date: December 8, 2008 RGR Date: December 11,
Star Wars as a silent movie 2008
http://raygunrevival.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=2441 Daily Writing Routines of SF Authors
http://raygunrevival.com/Forum/viewtopic.
The fan movie Silent Star Wars appeared on php?t=2451
YouTube this weekend, and pretty much boils Asimov preferred to devote the
the original movies to their essence... which entire day to writing, often work-
is to say, the comedy of Stormtroopers and ing all day, seven days a week, and
awesomeness of Darth Vader. And the music sometimes writing entire books in
- potentially John Williams’ best. a matter of days, a work ethic he
reportedly developed in childhood:
His usual routine was to awake at 6
A.M., sit down at the typewriter by
7:30 and work until 10 P.M.
In “In Memory Yet Green,” the first
volume of his autobiography, pub-
lished in 1979, he explained how
he became a compulsive writer. His
Russian-born father owned a succes-
sion of candy stores in Brooklyn that
RGR Date: December 18, 2008 were open from 6 A.M. to 1 A.M.
Ed Lopez one of 12 best artists at DA!
http://raygunrevival.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=2469 seven days a week. Young Isaac got
up at 6 o’clock every morning to de-
Ed Lopez did the covers for the first and liver papers and rushed home from
second RGR Anniversary issues, and I love his school to help out in the store every
stuff. I’m not the only one. afternoon. If he was even a few min-
Artwork gold mine and community site Devi- utes late, his father yelled at him for
ant Art has picked the best artists of the year being a folyack, Yiddish for sluggard.
-- one per month, based on the work submit- Even more than 50 years later, he
ted to the community. wrote: “It is a point of pride with me
that though I have an alarm clock,
http://news.deviantart.com/article/64886/ I never set it, but get up at 6 A.M.
anyway. I am still showing my father
Congratulations, Ed! I’m not a folyack.”

Ray Gun Revival Magazine, Issue 50

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Issue 50 January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

The Silver Dollar Saucer

C hance McMurphy and Cisco McAtee would

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

upwards in the distance.

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Susie Earthshine, Space Substitute

V enomous darts spurted at her from a

And she hadn’t even started But it was too soon.

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

“Best two out of three.” Transfixed by the characters’ apparent

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Terror Ride to Work

M y XTS was chugging along the speeder

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

The loudspeaker crackled to life with a Robert Evans

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

T hey never found the body of the man we

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

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Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

to take the stairs.”

George’s stories have appeared in Helix,

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

“P lease, you’ve got to help me!” cried the

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Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

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totally and submissively in love, with the

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

Ray Gun Revival magazine Issue 50, January 2009

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How did you become an artist?

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