A Never before seen interview

What we have here is an interview from Akhiban Eilmar, one our reporters in Ancient Health Magazine. He was a great reporter, but was severely schizophrenic and had abnormal tendencies to predict deep into the future. Recently, he quit his job and vanished completely. Although we now have no idea whether or not this interview was simply imaginary, our team of doctors confirm that the facts are all accurate. So without further ado, please enjoy.

Assyrians arent known for their medical achievements and are known more for their military achievements, if anything medical achievements are close to unknown! So I have ventured off into Northern Iraq to gather more information to prove the general public wrong! There I found a tomb of an Assyrian doctor or Ashipu named Sargon. But before I had the chance to observe, I got the chance to talk to the one-and-only Sargon! How lucky am I?

Sargon: Who dares enters my tomb? Eilmar: Sargon? Is that you? Please forgive me but may I ask a few questions about the medical achievements of Assyria? Sargon: Medical achievements?! No one ever asks for medical achievements, all they ask is military and those kinds of preposterous subjects!. . . . fine, I am Sargon, in my life, I was an elite Ashipu who cared for the rich. Ask me a question but not too many, I must return to my slumber! Eilmar: I am grateful! My first question is, when you had a new patient, how would you know about his or her previous medical history? handing it to their next Ashipu. Eilmar: What are some things you would sketch onto a tablet? Sargon: Another question!? Fine. I would put scrupulous notes of patient symptoms, physical structure and surgical procedure records. Sargon: Fairly simple, I would have tablets of the patient's medical history. I would keep it until

Eilmar: Interesting, what are some of those procedures? Sargon: Ill only explain one of my favorite onesthe rest are much too complicated! I drain the pus that develops between the lungs and chest walls of patients with pneumonia. During from it. Eilmar: My word! Thats quite an advanced procedure! I would not be surprised if it was used thousands of years later! leave! Eilmar: Please, wait! Just a few more questions I promise! If I had a headache, how would you treat it? Sargon: I think I have a headache right now. I will crush Adaru-Poplar seeds and feed them to my patients. This will reduce their headache and leave them refreshed. One of the main ingredients in these Adaru-poplar seeds is salicylic acid. Eilmar: Thats incredible! I bet thousands of years later they will use that same ingredient formulate it and call it Aspirin! Sargon: Please, stop trying to predict the futureit is bad enough that you are in my tomb. But yes, bless the gods for giving us their knowledge! Now leave! sickness and disease? Sargon: Thats common knowledge! Everyone knows that sickness and disease are from demons! Only priests make them go away and Ashipus alleviate the symptoms! Eilmar: Uh ok, just one moSargon: SILENCE! Eilmar: Wait, how do you look like? I can only hear your voice! Sargon: Im dead and decomposing, what do you think? Eilmar: Yes, youre quite right, I am very sorry. Thank you for your time! Eilmar: Be patient! This is probably my last question anyway, what do you think caused Sargon: Yes, we Ashipus use these procedures and then share them with one another. Now this, an Ashipu like myself would make a small opening, insert a tube, and drain out the pus

Sargon: Yes please leave, I must continue my slumber!

Sargon clearly shows that Assyrians are not just military barbarians but also have physicians who are clearly advanced. Their surgical procedure is almost no different from all the other advanced "big-shot" civilizations and the fact Assyrians have their form of "aspirin" is quite astounding. Although we are the underdog of medicine, we should not be underestimated!

Here is Sargon! Notice his good looks and how gentle he lookswhat a lie!