C
32
the challenge
SEXUAL
ABUSE
Child sexual abuse is a crime which,
tragically, many children experience. It
is generally recognised that one in four
girls and a similar number of boys will be
& YOUR
sexually assaulted in some way by the
time they are 18 year of age.
A particularly disturbing reality is that
around 75 to 80 per cent of child sexual
abuse victims will be assaulted in their
TEEN
own homes by someone they know.
Only one offence, indecent exposure (for
example, flashing) is more likely to be
committed by a stranger.
It is vitally important that we educate
our children and provide them with the
Photography: Getty Images; posed for by models
How to protect
information and the skills they need to
keep themselves safe.
While it’s not pleasant to contemplate
your kids
the possibility that someone you know
and trust — or someone who knows and
loves your child — is an abuser, the reality
from predators
is that most child-abusers are known to
the victim.
One misconception about abusers is
that all sex offenders are paedophiles.
While there can at times be an overlap
in the definition of a child sex
offender and a paedophile, and
although we know that there
Julia Holden explains are organised sexual-abuse Most abusers
how parents can spot rings and individual abusers
who target children, most offend
the warning signs that
something is amiss
sex-offenders are either
related to, or well-known and repeatedly
trusted by, both the child and
with their child; how the child’s family.
Paedophiles — adults who
to respond to a child’s engage in, or trade in images of, ritual or
sadistic child abuse — are only a subset
disclosure of sexual of child sex offenders.
abuse; and how to Reports indicate that 97 per cent of
child sex offenders are male, a large
support a teen facing proportion married with children.
A recent study in the UK on the prev-
this terrible reality. alence of child maltreatment, based on
a survey of young people aged from 18
to 24, revealed that most respondents
identified a family member, or someone
known to them, as the perpetrator of their
abuse.
Though that wasn’t surprising, what
was of particular concern was the number
of instances of abuse involving a male
sibling offender (a brother or stepbrother)
ranging from 20-43 per cent across the
three sorts of sexual abuse*; accounting
for 38 per cent of penetrative or oral acts.
This was much higher than the number
Autumn 2005 Te e n M a t t e r s
33
involving natural fathers (11 to 23 per
cent of all sexual abuse was committed
by natural fathers; they accounted for 23
per cent of penetrative or oral acts) and
stepfathers (accounting for 9 to 19 per
cent of all sexual abuse; 13 per cent of
penetrative or oral acts).
Although most people have a stereo-
typical view of child sex offenders, there
is no one type of man who is an offender.
They come from every socio-economic
background, profession, race and religion,
and can be homosexual or heterosexual.
Abuse of trust: the first step
Many abusers are skilled at creating
trust and respect to gain people’s
confidence. For this reason, if an offender
is discovered abusing a victim, some
people are fooled by the offender into
thinking that it was a one-off and that it
will never happen again; but most abusers
offend repeatedly both inside and outside
the family.
‘Grooming’ tactics gain the confidence
of the victim and the parents.
Offenders regularly visit places
where children spend time, such
as schools, sporting fields or
clubs. Many use lies to trick
the child into trusting them
by inventing some sort of
emergency, for example,
‘Your mother is in hospital
and your father asked me to
pick you up.’
Getting involved in the children’s
lives, by teaching them sport or a musical
instrument, or taking them on outings and
then offering bribes of money, gifts, toys,
or lollies — these have all been used as
grooming opportunities.
Offenders sometimes find their victims
through baby-sitting and some even take
advantage of single mothers, who are
often grateful for extra assistance.
Responding to child sexual abuse
The response to a child’s disclosure
of sexual abuse is critical to the ability to
resolve the trauma of sexual abuse. The
most important steps are the identification
of the problem and the implementation of
intervention and prevention strategies to
ensure the safety of the child.
It’s important to consider the difficulties
a child can face in attempting to explain
what happened.
continued page 38 >>
34 If a child tries to tell you she is being
abused, she may not know the right words
to use. It’s doubtful a child will just walk up
to you and say ‘I am being sexually abused
by . . .’
My education in listening to what
children are saying came very early in my
police career. I was a junior constable at
a suburban station and, being the only
woman in the station at the time, I was
asked to do a preliminary interview with
a girl who had been brought to the police
station by her mother.
The mother was concerned about her
daughter and the school bus driver who
had ‘invited’ the girl to his house on a few
occasions, an offer she had accepted.
I chatted to the girl for quite a while, and
she told me the bus driver was very nice
and had not hurt her.
The girl wasn’t distressed, but fairly
subdued. In amongst her replies was a
comment that when she was at his house,
they played ‘trains’.
While I didn’t pick up on this one com-
ment as being the vital piece of evidence, I
was concerned enough to refer the matter
to the specialist detectives in charge of
child-abuse investigations.
I was later informed by the detective
in charge of the matter that the game
of ‘playing trains’ was the offender’s ex-
planation for the act of forcing the child
to perform oral sex on him. I had listened
to this child, but I really hadn’t heard what
she had said.
When a child or a young person tells
someone about sexual abuse, a supportive
and caring response is the first step in
providing help and the possibility of re-
establishing future trust in adults.
If a child tells you about abuse, the
most important response you can give is
to believe the child, thank her or him for
telling you, and reassure them that they
did the right thing and that they are not at
fault.
Here is how you can give your teen a
supportive response:
If they even vaguely hint they have been
a victim of sexual abuse, listen to them,
but don’t cross-examine them. At this
initial stage, just support the child and
don’t make judgmental comments.
Show them that you take very seriously
what they are saying.
Reassure them they have done the right
thing by disclosing the truth.
Reassure them they are not to blame for
the abuse.
Offer them some form of protection and
assure them that you will take steps to
make sure the abuse stops.
Report any suspicions you have of child
abuse either to the police or to a child
protection agency in your State.
Provide medical treatment as well as
emotional support. The examining doctor
will gather any evidence and provide
treatment for any injuries.
Provide treatment for any injuries. t violence in drawings, games, stories
Fearless, The Ultimate
Guide to living safe and
smart, by Julia Holden
predators who stalk cyber-space, and how
(Random House, 2004).
parents can help their children avoid the
RRP is $19.95.
What are the
warning signs?
There are many warning signs to indicate
a child’s safety is at risk. No single sign
should be viewed in isolation as positive
proof of abuse; but it may indicate that the
child should be monitored for other signs or
behavioural changes are occurring. It’s also
important to consider the child’s personal
circumstances and compare it with their
usual behaviour, for example a change in
attitude towards a formerly favourite visitor,
or babysitter, or relative.
Although not comprehensive, here is a
list of some of the more common indicators
of sexual abuse.
■ Describing sexual acts
■ Age inappropriate behaviour and/or
persistent sexual behaviour
■ Self-destructive or suicidal behaviour
■ Physical injuries, such as tears or
bruising to genitalia, which a doctor
could recognise
■ Statements implying their bodies
are dirty or damaged, or fear that
there is something wrong with them
in their genital area
■ Sleep problems or nightmares
■ Hints of sexual molestation or
■ Depression or withdrawal from
friends or family.
* Next issue, Father Chris looks at the
dangers of the Net.

What is child abuse?

There is no universal definition of child abuse, and a lot of
confusion as to what behaviour constitutes child abuse and
neglect. The National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse
and Neglect (NAPCAN) defines child abuse as ‘anything which
individuals, institutions or processes do or fail to do, which
directly or indirectly harms children or damages their prospects
of a safe and healthy development into adulthood.’
Child abuse includes all forms of:
Neglect, characterised by a failure to provide a child with
basic needs such as love and affection, food, clothing, and
safety. It also includes abandonment of a child and serious
absence of care, e.g. not taking a sick child to the doctor.
Emotional abuse, a behaviour pattern where a parent
or carer deprives a child of love, warmth and attention, or
constantly criticises or imposes unrealistic expectations, or
isolates, rejects or ignores a child. A common form of this type
is psychological controll, dominating or terrorising a child.
Physical abuse, injury resulting from shaking, slapping,
punching, scalding, biting, poisoning or throwing a child.
Sexual abuse occurs when an adult, or someone bigger or
older than the child, involves the child in sexual activity by
using undue influence, or takes advantage of a child’s trust.
The abuser often uses tricks, bribes or threats — and even
physical force — to make a child participate. It also includes
exhibitionism, fondling, oral sex and intercourse.
Domestic violence can include emotional, sexual and
physical abuse, social isolation, financial control or deprivation,
by one or more members of the family on another member.
Children can be direct victims but can also be badly affected
by witnessing domestic violence, for example Mum being
beaten, or parents yelling at each other.
System abuse refers to abuse icaused by action or omission
due to policies, practices and procedures within systems
or institutions. Children who are physically or intellectually
impaired are particularly vulnerable. Children are never
responsible for abuse.

Autumn 2005 Te e n M a t t e r s