Hello and Welcome to Bullying.org, "Where You Are NOT Alone!

" FAQ is computer talk for Frequently Asked Questions. As Bullying.org recieves nearly one million visitors and contributors from around the world each month, we cannot always answer every question we receive, but we will try to post answers to the questions we are most often asked here. We hope this helps!

What is bullying?
Bullying is a learned behaviour. It is when a person or group tries to hurt or control another person in a harmful way. There are three aspects of this hurtful behaviour that almost all experts agree on; in bullying there is a difference in power between those being hurt and those doing the hurting, bullying involves hurtful behaviours that are repeated and intentional. Bullying is not about a conflict that needs resolving. In bullying, the power is all in one person or a group's control. People who bully others show loathing and contempt for those they are trying to hurt. There are lots of different kinds of bullying, and they all hurt. Sometimes bullying means hitting, kicking, pushing, shoving, or making someone do something they dont want to do. Sometimes bullying is using mean words or threats, calling someone names, or saying bad things behind their back. Bullying can even mean making someone feel unsafe or scared, leaving them out of games, or making them feel that theyre not important. Bullying can be verbal, physical, social (shunning, ignoring or leaving someone out on purpose), and also involve cyberbullying (being bullied through the information and communication technologies. See www.cyberbullying.org for more information about this). People who bully think that it makes them important, but it really just makes them mean. Bullying should NOT be considered a "Normal part of life".

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Why do people bully?

There are lots of reasons why people bully. Bullying is a behaviour, it is something people learn. Bullies may also be bullied themselves, or they were bullied at one time or another in their lifetime. People bully

because it makes them feel superior to others. They might get power and strength from bullying others. People bully to get attention. They think that it makes them popular, or that bullying may be a way to fit in. Bullying doesn't make someone popular or cool, it just makes them mean. People who bully are often scared about something about themselves, so they try to scare others to hide their feelings or pick on others so they won't get picked on first. People who bully are unhappy and they take out their unhappiness on others. People who bully feel little or no responsibility for their actions, and often feel the need to control others and may always feel the need to win. People who bully may be jealous of the people they are bullying. People who bully are unable to understand and appreciate the feelings of others. People who bully always choose the one person they know they can win against (basically bullies are chickens). People who bully are excellent observers of human behaviour. People who bully use 'differences' to make victims feel badly about themselves, such as "You're ugly, stupid" etc. as an excuse for their bad behaviour. It's not the 'difference' in the victim that's the problem - it's the bullies who have the problem because they are afraid, jealous, envious, cruel, angry, insecure, and unhappy. Remember, it's our "differences" that makes us special and unique. You should be proud of who you are. Don't let people who bully take that away from you. Don't give people who bully that power over you. Even though people who bully cause a great deal of pain for others, they need help too. If they do not learn how to change their behaviours, they usually end up in trouble with the law. By age 24, 60 percent of people who were childhood bullies have at least one criminal conviction. People who continue to bully have many other problems as adults who show more alcoholism, antisocial personality disorders and need for mental health services. Some people who bully may not even understand how wrong their behaviour is and how it makes the person being bullied feel. The best defense against a people who bully is to LIKE YOURSELF, be CONFIDENT in YOURSELF, and DONT LOOK LIKE A VICTIM. You should never try to beat people who bully at their own game. You can't bully someone who bullies into not being a bully. If you need help, tell an adult you know and trust. It is hard to solve such problems on your own.

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Why am I being bullied? (Why me? What did I do to deserve this?)

First, you need to know that you are NOT alone in being bullied. You need to know that being bullied is NOT YOUR FAULT. You also need to know that there are many positive things that you can do about bullying. People who bully might tell you things like "You're stupid and ugly" or other bad things. They might try to hurt and control you by telling you that your hair or skin colour, size, sex, race, religion and other things are bad. Don't believe bullies. These things are not bad. If fact, it is these very things that make you special and unique in our world. These mean words and actions tell us all more about the people who are saying and doing such things, than about you.

Bullying is really about others who want to have power and control over you. People who bully want you to feel badly about yourself. Don't give bullies that power.

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What can you do if someone is bullying you?

Being bullied can be embarrassing, scary and very hurtful, but you should know that you don't have to put up with being bullied. It is NOT a normal part of growing up. Bullying is wrong. Bullying is something some people learn, that means it is something we can change and there are things we can do to deal with bullying. Here are some things we all can do to stop bullying: Learn about what bullying is and then share this with others, like your parents, friends, teachers, sport coaches and others. A lot of adults believe that bullying is just a normal part of life, IT'S NOT -BE the change! And teach them that people should not just accept bullying. Take the Bullying.org and Family Channel Pledge You need to know that you are NOT alone in being bullied. Being bullied is embarrassing, scary and hurtful, it is normal to feel scared if you are being bullied, but being bullied is NOT normal and you shouldn't have to live with being bullied! You need to know that being bullied is NOT your fault. Bullies might tell you mean things about yourself, but don't believe them. Bullies will say what ever they can to try and have power over you. Don't let them! You need to know that there are lots of things you can do to help bullying stop, for yourself and for others. Don't keep it to yourself: tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. It's really hard to stop bullying by yourself. Parents, teachers, principals, sport coaches, Guide and Scout leaders can all help to stop bullying. Write down what happened Who was bullying? Where did it happen? Who did what? Who saw it? Telling is not tattling. Telling we do to help make things safer and better. Tattling is what people do when they want to get someone else in trouble on purpose. Be brave When you're scared of another person, it's hard to be brave. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. If you act as though you're not afraid, it may be enough for a people who bully to leave you alone. Stay calm and don't act upset or angry: bullies love to get a reaction. Practice what you'll do and say the next time it happens. If you don't act upset or react the way they want you to, they may get bored and stop. Ignore the people who bully. Try to ignore a bully's threats. If you can walk away, it takes a bullies power away because they want you to feel bad about yourself. Don't react. Don't let the people who bully win!

If ignoring them won't work, tell the people who are bullying to stop, say "Cut it out!", "That's not funny!", "How'd you like it if someone did that to you?" Let the people who bully know that what he or she is doing is stupid and mean. Stand up, don't s tand by Kids can stand up for each other by telling a people who bully to stop teasing or hurting someone else. You shouldn't try and fight the people who bully . This almost always makes things worse. Walk up to the person being bullied, talk with them and then walk away together. Refuse to join in and don't just sit back and watch. The bully wants an audience. You give bullies power when you watch. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Be a friend Kids who are being bullied can sure use a friend. Walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same for someone else who's having trouble with a bully. Look out for kids who are new to school, or those kids who always seem to be alone. Join a club, a team, or a group This is a great way to make new friends. This really helps when you are new to school. Don't fight back First of all it's a dangerous thing to. Secondly, it usually makes things worse for everyone. Besides, you can't bully a bully into changing the way they are acting. Stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult. Sit or walk near an adult or friend Sit near the bus driver. Walk with a teacher or friend during recess or lunchtime. Take a different path to and from school What Can Be Done about Bullying? An Anti-bullying Toolkit for Kids Leave at different time Don't bring expensive stuff to school Share your story, find help, support and information on this Web site. Make sure the kid who's being bullied tells an adult. Offer to go with them if it will help. If they don't want to talk to anybody, offer to talk to someone for them. Involve as many people as possible, including other friends or classmates, parents, teachers, school counselors, and the principal.

Remember: Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Stand up for someone when he or she needs it, and when you need it, someone will stand up for you. Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsibility to respect others!

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What should you do if you see someone else being bullied?

Don't join in. Don't be mean to other kids by calling them names or picking on them. Walk away. Help the kid who is being bullied by leading them away from the bully, without looking at the bully. Did you know that bullying usually stops within 10 seconds after someone who is watching (a bystander) gets involved? Get help from an adult or yell for help if you need to. DO NOT try to fight the bully. You should never make fun of a bully or say mean things to a bully. It will just make things worse for you and everyone else. Believe the kid being bullied. Listen to what they have to say. Don't make the bully feel important by paying attention to them. When you ignore bullies, you take away their power. Bullies like to look tough in front of others, so they almost always have an audience when they are being mean. Most of the time the bullying will end if someone like you steps in to stop it. Make sure the kid who's being bullied tells an adult. Offer to go with them if it will help. If he or she doesn't want to talk to anybody, offer to talk to someone they trust for them. Involve as many people as possible, including other friends or classmates, parents, teachers, school counselors and the principal. Stand up, don't stand by. Kids can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or hurting someone else. Refuse to join in and don't just sit back and watch. The bully wants an audience. You give bullies power when you watch. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Be a friend. Kids who are being bullied can sure use a friend. Walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same for someone else who's having trouble with a bully. Look out for kids who are new to school, or those kids who always seem to be alone. Invite the new kid at school to your party. Think about how you feel when you're left out of something. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Stand up for someone when he or she needs it, and when you need it, someone will stand up for you. Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsibility to respect others!

Fact: Peers are present 85% of the time when bullying occurs. Fact: Bullying will stop within 10 seconds most of thet time when someone else steps in to be a friend to the victim.

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What should you do if you are bullying others?

You need to realize that hurting other people doesn't make you important, it just makes you mean. Think about ways you can be a leader without hurting others, like getting involved in sports, school groups and community activities. If you need help or advice, talk to someone you trust. Remember that bullying isnt just hitting someone or beating them up. Spreading gossip, calling someone mean names or leaving someone out of your game or refusing to invite them to your party are other forms of bullying, too. Treat others the way you want to be treated. People who continue to bully when they are young, often end up being in trouble with the law and having many other serious problems. Being a bully is a dead-end road to take in your life. There's is nothing good about being a bully.

Bullying Statistics: Fast Facts About Cyberbullying

Posted onJanuary 17, 2012byLuke Gilkerson

The American Academy of Pediatrics calls cyberbullying the most common online risk for all teens.

Cyberbullying is deliberately using digital media to communicate false, embarrassing, or hostile information about or to another person.

Types of Bullying Online

According to the Internet Safety 101 curriculum, there are many types of cyberbullying:

Gossip: Posting or sending cruel gossip to damage a persons reputation and relationships with friends, family, and acquaintances.

Exclusion: Deliberately excluding someone from an online group. Impersonation: Breaking into someones e-mail or other online account and sending messages that will cause embarrassment or damage to the persons reputation and affect his or her relationship with others.

Harassment: Repeatedly posting or sending offensive, rude, and insulting messages. Cyberstalking: Posting or sending unwanted or intimidating messages, which may include threats. Flaming: Online fights where scornful and offensive messages are posted on websites, forums, or blogs. Outing and Trickery: Tricking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information, which is then shared online.

Cyberthreats: Remarks on the Internet threatening or implying violent behavior, displaying suicidal tendencies.

Cyberbullying Facts

32% of online teens say they have been targets of a range of annoying or potentially menacing online activities. 15% of teens overall say someone has forwarded or posted a private message theyve written, 13% say someone has spread a rumor about them online, 13% say someone has sent them a threatening or aggressive message, and 6% say someone has posted embarrassing pictures of them online.

38% of online girls report being bullied, compared with 26% of online boys. In particular, 41% of older girls (15-17) report being bulliedmore than any other age or gender group.

39% of social network users have been cyberbullied in some way, compared with 22% of online teens who do not use social networks.

20% of teens (12-17) say people are mostly unkind on online social networks. Younger teenage girls (12-13) are considerably more likely to say this. One in three (33%) younger teen girls who use social media say that people their age are mostly unkind to one another on social network sites.

15% of teens on social networks have experienced someone being mean or cruel to them on a social network site. There are no statistically significant differences by age, gender, race, socioeconomic status, or any other demographic characteristic.

13% of teens who use social media (12-17) say they have had an experience on a social network that made them feel nervous about going to school the next day. This is more common among younger teens (20%) than older teens (11%).

88% of social media-using teens say they have seen someone be mean or cruel to another person on a social network site. 12% of these say they witness this kind of behavior frequently.

When teens see others being mean or cruel on social networks, frequently 55% see other people just ignoring what is going on, 27% see others defending the victim, 20% see others telling the offender to stop, and 19% see others join in on the harassment.

36% of teens who have witnessed others being cruel on social networks havelooked to someone for advice about what to do.

67% of all teens say bullying and harassment happens more offline than online. 1 in 6 parents know their child has been bullied over social media. In over half of these cases, their child was a repeat victim. Over half of parents whose children have social media accounts are concerned about cyberbullying and more than three-quarters of parents have discussed the issue of online bullying with their children.

11% of middle school students were victims of cyberbullying in the past two months. Girls are more likely than boys to be victims or bully/victims.

Hyper-networking teens (those who spend more than three hours per school day on online social networks) are 110% more likely to be a victim of cyberbullying, compared to those who dont spend as much time on social networks.

Anti Bullying Campaigns and Programs

The Great American NO BULL Challenge Internet Safety 101 Olweus Bullying Prevention Program Stomp Out Bullying Delete Digital Drama Cyberbully411 STOP Cyberbullying

Effects of Bullying
While bullying through physical intimidation has long been a problem among teenagers, cyberbullying by using computers and smart phones to send rumors or post cruel messages has become more prevalent in recent

years, explains Dr. Jennifer Caudle. Even though there might not be physical injuries, cyberbullying leaves deep emotional scars on the victim.

Warning signs of being cyberbullied can include:

appearing sad, moody, or anxious avoiding school withdrawing from social activities experiencing a drop in grades appearing upset after using the computer appearing upset after viewing a text message

In extreme cases, physical bullying and online bullying can drive a child or teen to deep depression and even suicide (sometimes called bullycide). Since 1983, over 150 children have taken their own lives due, in part, to the extreme pressure of being bullied.

When it comes to suicides related to cyberbullying, some names have made national headlines in recent years. Ryan Halligan (2003) may be the earliest known case of suicide provoked by Internet taunts, but unfortunately many others have followed: Jeffrey Johnston (2005), Kristina Calco (2006), Rachael Neblett (2006), Megan Meier (2006), Jesse Logan (2008), Alexa Berman (2008), Michael Joseph Berry (2008), Iain Steele (2009), Hope Wittsell (2009), Tyler Clementi (2010), Ashley Rogers (2010), Alexis Skye Pilkington(2010), Phoebe Prince (2010), and Amanda Cummings (2011).

The facts

A quarter of Australian children report they have been cyber bullied. Cyber bullying is more prevalent in older children, with 31 per cent of 14-17 year olds claiming to have been cyber bullied, compared to 21 per cent of 10-13 year olds. Over 750,000 teens have computers in their bedrooms while four in 10 parents restrict internet use to shared family areas. Many youngsters don't report cyber bullying because most adults don't know they have a cyber life - they fear if they report it, the technology wilbe taken away.

Testimonials

Megan Meier was cyberbullied by a classmate who pretened to be Megan's crush. After Megan read a hurtful message that was sent to her by this person, Megan committed suicide by hanging herself.

Tyler Clementi was spied on by his roommate at Rutgers University. His roommate took footage of Tyler kissing another man and posted the video on Twitter. When Tyler found out, he jumped off the George Washington Bridge and died.

Phoebe Prince was born in Ireland but moved to Massachusetts with her family when she was 15 years old. She became a victim of cyber bullying, which resulted in her hanging herself at her family's apartment.

Ryan Halligan was born in Poughkeepsie, New York. When his family moved to Essex Junction, Vermont, Ryan started receiving harrassing online messages from his peers that questioned his sexuality. Ryan subsequently committed suicide at age 13. Cyberbullied Celebrities: Lessons Learned By Kelly Santos | October 23rd, 2012 | Industry Data & News, Internet Safety, Social Media | No Comments

These famous names struggled with, and overcame, bullying at its worst

If youre being cyberbullied, youre in good company. Victims of online haters include pop stars, actors and other celebrities now at the top of their game.

Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato were bullied when they were younger. Now LeAnn Rimes is the latest celebrity to draw attention to the issue. But these high achievers have turned the tablesin different ways. Lets see what lessons we can learn from their experiences.

Lesson 1: Get creative

Channel your feelings into something creativeart, literature, music, whatever makes you happy. Thats what Taylor Swift does. She told Ellen DeGeneres that school was tough, and often she was alone. When she was ignored, she said, Id be like, `Its okay, because I can write a song about this later.

Later, the kids who were mean to her showed up at a concert linelooking for an autograph. It was bittersweet, because it made me realize that they didnt remember being mean to me, and that I needed to forget about it, too. If I hadnt come home from school miserable every day, maybe I wouldnt have been so motivated to write songs. I should probably thank them!

Lesson 2: Raise Awareness

Disney star turned X-Factor judge Demi Lovato had a hard time in middle school. She was teased mercilessly after appearing on the childrens show Barney & Friends and producing a CD. Lovato has spoken on behalf of the anti-bully group PACER and has appeared on Americas Next Top Model and CNN to draw attention to the problem. Now shes the Anti-Bully Ambassador for the new Secret deodorant Mean Stinks campaign.

Lesson 3: Spread kindness

The best defense against bullies, Lovato has preached, is to spread kindness. She encourages everyone to wear blue nail polish on pinkie fingers for National Cyberbullying Prevention Month to show youre against bullying. Ill definitely be wearing [the nail polish] starting soon, she said. Its a conversation starter: Hey, why is your pinky blue? This is a pinky promise that Im not going to bully people, that my friends and I are ganging up for good.

Lesson 4: Take action

When the online hate crosses into real-world threats, its time to take action. Maybe thats legal or police action, or maybe its contacting the bullies parents.

Thats what LeAnn Rimes is doing. The country music star is fighting back against haters on Twitter with lawsuits and increased media attention. The cause of all her torment stems from her relationship with husband Eddie Cibrian. Cibrians ex, a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, has a mob of rabid supporters, who have tried to make life miserable for the 30-year-old singer.

Lesson 5: Ignore the haters

The list of bullied celebrities is long. In Emma Watsons case it extended to college where the Harry Potter star was tormented at Brown University for her part in the successful film franchise. (She since made a move to Columbia University in New York City.)

For every tragic case, theres the story of someone who has turned it around. Michael Phelps dealt with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder as a child. A teacher told his mom, Hes not gifted. Your son will never be able to focus on anything. Now the most successful Olympian in historythat takes a little focushis trainer has said hes a motivation machine bad moods, good moods, he channels everything for gain.

How parents can prevent bullying By Fiona Baker |

There are many ways parents can help reduce the likelihood of bullying, or at least make their children aware of acceptable behaviour. How often do we hear that behaviour starts at home. In the case of bullying and society's attitudes to it, these often stem from the home environment. So the parental role in preventing and reducing bullying is vital. Some of the actions parents can take, whether bullying has impacted on you or your child's life or not, are: Explain bullying Tell your children regularly much you disapprove of bullying and why. Tell them you don't want them to take part in mistreating another student at any level, however small. Students who come from families that oppose bullying accept that bullying is wrong and are less likely to bully others because they know their parents would disapprove. Forbid bullying Do not allow any type of bullying at home and deal firmly with any attempts by siblings to bully one another. Encourage positivity Encourage your child to see the positive side of other students rather than expressing contempt and superiority. Model and encourage respect Model and encourage respect for others as well as behaviours and values, such as compassion, cooperation, friendliness, acceptance of difference and respect.

Explain rights of others Emphasise seeing things from another's point of view and the rights of others not to be mistreated. Report incidents Report all incidents of bullying that you are aware of, not just incidents that happen to your child. Don't continue any child's silent nightmare by saying nothing. Encourage resilience Develop protective behaviours and resilient social skills in your child, such as speaking assertively, negotiating, expressing their own opinion, using a confident voice and using firm eye contact. Practice regularly using dinner conversations and social encounters with acquaintances and new people. Respect and confidence are key Talk about respect and help children distinguish between people who care about their wellbeing and those who don't. Children require the confidence and skills to avoid people who don't treat them with respect. Help build friendships Help your child build and maintain caring and genuine friendships. This may mean taking an active role in encouraging social activities such as after school plays and sleepovers. Deal with fear and anger Assist them to develop effective ways of dealing with fear and anger instead of internalising their feelings, taking them out on others or losing face in front of the peer group by allowing them to spill over.