GENDER ISSUES: MEN ARE NOT ANIMALS, WOMEN ARE NOT ANGELS

International year for the empowerment of women is behind us, or so I understand. Why it was there at all, I do not know; nor do I know whether that was the last year for the empowerment of women. One has heard of stooping to conquer but cribbing to conquer? But that seems to be what is precisely happening with our feminists. They seem to be amoung those who think they can have the cake and eat it too! But before I proceed further I need to introduce myself, lest some FCBs try to dismiss these views as that of an MCP. First of all, let me assure you that I am not an MCP. Youll find the views expressed here are based on solid facts and not mere opinions. I believe that you are either fair or not fair, there cannot be degrees of fairness. I am fair and expect others to be fair too. Similarly, you can be either reasonable or not reasonable. I am reasonable and expect the readers of this column to be reasonable too. The views expressed here are for the consumption of the fair and the reasonable. Let me begin by asking one simple question- is there anything like equality, as we understand it, in Gods scheme of things? The answer is, and will remain, a definite NO! Leave alone women being equal to men, are all men equal or for that matter, are all women equal? Then why all this hue and cry for equality of women with men? As Ms Homai Vyarawala (reportedly, the first Indian woman photojournalist) put it if you are a girl, you do not have to behave like a man to be successful! But it is in Gods scheme of things that men and women have to be mutually dependent, if only to carry life forward and if only at the basest level of sexual procreation and/or recreation. Of course, every society has its norms, and rules too for that matter, and it is not my farthest intention to question their very purpose. But I would definitely like to ask whether these norms and rules have served the purpose for which they have been created. A realistic assessment of ground realities brings forth only one answer- NO! The urge to remain attractive to the members of the opposite sex is as strong in the females as in the males and if not all, atleast the majority of sexual harassment cases would disappear if there were no social taboos associated with sex outside marriage. And here, I agree, the females are at a disadvantage, but I must add, only because of their ignorance. Those of them who do not know about birth control methods often stand exposed of their escapades and this is what hurts. The educated lot are not bothered and do not seem to have any qualms about tasting the forbidden fruit and sorting out incidental complications with visits to abortion clinics. I am

sure I do not have to quote statistics to prove my point here. And it is not a new phenomenon either. Examples abound even in our mythologies. The story of Kunti and Karna being amoung the most poignant ones. Incidently, it is believed that it was Yudhishtiras curse on his mother, Kunti, for hiding the truth of Karna being the eldest Pandava prince, that resulted in women not being able to hide their pregnancy! Take sex out of man-women relations and it can be easily seen that all this babble about discrimination of the fairer (?) sex is just that- mere babble! An objective look at the rules, norms and practices in our society will show that our society is definitely biased, and quite strongly at that, in favour of the women folk. For example, when a she-writer writes porn and makes her millions she is complimented for being liberated but when a he-writer uses similar terms he is a bawdy old sardar! When a dream girls and screen sirens have affairs with married men and beget their children there is not a word of protest from the crusaders but when a man talks freely about his love for the opposite sex he is immoral! To get to more serious allegations of domestic violence. We are all familiar with the motherin-law/daughter-in-law conflicts and sister-in-law/sister-in-law conflicts. And the causes in both have been traced to the selfishness/ sense of insecurity of the women folk concerned. The mother/sister of the boy not wanting to share the boys love with his new wife (and ditto with the wife too in the other direction!), little realizing that love does not get diluted by sharing. Isnt it surprising that such problems have never been heard of in the father-inlaw/daughter-in-law and brother-in-law/sister-in-law contexts? Going further, I seriously wonder why is it that women who profess such love for their children and claim to be the ultimate best influence on them during their formative years (havent you heard the familiar line in various child-custody cases in our courts?) renounce their responsibility/ disown him when he refuses to be just mamas boy? Suffice to say that the discriminations alleged by the feminists are either non-existant or are of their own creation only. Not that discriminations are not there. But whatever discriminations are there apply to both the sexes. And at times it may be gender based too, because of the human factor involved. But then these discriminations can work in favour of women as much as against them, as they could work in favour of men as much as against them! And what more examples are required than that of an illiterate women lording it over as Chief Minister of one of the strongest patriarchial societies in the north of the country and another woman, in the South, at whose feet even the Chief Minister would prostrate unabashedly, in public display of servility of the worst kind in a democratic society?

Yes, there are plenty of reforms needed in our systems. But as it is, there is no denying the fact that our systems are more female-friendly than could be asked for. And here too there are examples from the real world. Firstly, when the menace of throwing stones at running trains became a serious issue, particularly in the Central Railway part of the suburban network in Mumbai, it was decided to have wire meshes on all windows. And how did the railway authorities go about it? Not rake by rake, as should be expected. The meshes were first put up on the ladies only coaches in all trains, then on the first class coaches and only in the last phase were the general compartments provided with the protective meshes. Till this date I keep wondering whether the missiles let loose by misguided elements had any sensors fitted on them so that it did not hurt the passengers in the overcrowded general (read, male) compartments. Secondly, even the Union Finance Minister, while doling out tax rebates, has given an extra rebate of Rs 5000.00 to women tax-payers. The gross injustice of this would be understood only if one realizes the fact that even today it is considered primarily the mans job to earn the bread for his family (exceptions granted!) and the womans is generally an additional source of income. So the only logical thing would have been to give extra concession to single income families or to consider the family income for tax purposes. But no, who will listen to logic when the issue is gender discrimination? And wouldnt you be surprised to know that some of the penal provisions in our laws are not applicable to the oppressed sex? And I am not talking about any archaic laws. The Consumer Protection Act was enacted only in 1986. And the only remedy, provided in the Act, to the aggrieved party is to be compensated monetarily for his/her losses. And the Forum/Commission ordering this compensation can only enforce its orders under the threat of arrest. But an archaic law states that women cannot be arrested in cases involving recovery of money. And atleast one of our judges, a male at that, in one of our Honble High Courts, has held that this law is applicable even while enforcing the orders of the Consumer Disputes Redressal Forum, thus effectively making the penal provisions of the CPA not applicable to half the population! In other words, our law gives a free license for women to cheat with impunity and get away with it! Now tell me, who is the oppressed sex in this country?

All those arguments apart, this rejoinder, to many an article/report appearing in the press these days, would be incomplete if I did not highlight the positive aspects of man-woman relationship. To my mind the roles are both supplementary and complimentary. The need is not there for competition but for understanding. It is said that a house is built of bricks but a home is built of hearts. Working women may be adding to the kitty at home which may in turn help to collect a few more objects of luxury but how much of their heart they can put in to build the home is really a question that every working women has to ask and answer herself. Domestic chores are not petty or demeaning. And if you really thought about it, it is the small things at home that make a world of a difference for everyone in his/her life. The problems of key-hole children (children who come home from school to open the doors of their houses themselves and spent long lonely hours there till their working parents come home tired after toiling in their offices throughout the day, hardly getting any time to spent with them) have been a subject of many serious studies and the results are not exactly encouraging. And what for? Isnt money saved, money earned? Also is there any limit to human needs? So where will all this lead to? I, for one, believe that to achieve something one must look up at people who are better off than oneself, but to be happy it is important to look at those who are worse off than us. No, there is no trace of sadism, or happiness in the plight of the under-privileged but a certain thankfulness to the powers above for the privileges, in whatever modest measure, that have been given to me. And particularly in this country there are millions who have to go to bed without even having had a square meal through out the day. And there are rulers and administrators who dismiss starvation deaths as malicious propaganda and claim that mango kernels had enough nutrients and so long as there was enough mango kernels for the poor to keep the wolf at bay there could never be starvation deaths! Yes, finally it all boils down to our people in power who find it is easier to cling to power by continuing with the divide and rule policy of the colonisers. War cries based on gender could be yet another way to keep the people at each others throats so that they can continue with their own devious purposes. So, all I can say is, citizens beware! Thankfully, as of now, the majority are not hardliners. Nevertheless, the way fissiparous tendencies seem to be creeping up from everywhere, it is better to be aware and be wary! P M Ravindran, pmravindran@rediffmail.com