Research Paper: Stania Zbela Towards Effective Use of Positive Affirmations in Coaching

Research Paper Assessment Name: Stania Zbela Date: 10/28/2012 Student ID: StaniaZ (265874) Email: szbela@sbcglobal.
net
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Towards Effective Use of Positive Affirmations in Coaching
I. Introduction: General applications and misconceptions of positive selfaffirmations in every day life
Every day people affirm and reaffirm their self identity, beliefs and values both consciously and subconsciously. Oftentimes the process becomes automatic and unconscious as the quotidian needs and demands arise. Individual habits and patterns further complicate and even distort this basic mechanism of affirming subjective truths as time and energy are likely assigned quantitative value in the pursuit of meaning
making and happiness. It is often difficult for people to remember anything beyond [their] reoccurring impulses, dreams and desires, (Riso, 1993:115), and yet it would behoove them to maintain a bigger picture of their life and their connectedness to all living beings and matter as a means of leading a more purposeful and satisfying existence. Although seemingly easy, this way of thinking demands a reorientation of the self submerged in an endless array of external influences preying upon the internal drives of need and desire. However, as elaborate or complicated peoples lives may appear, it ultimately boils down to needs and desires which propel people to action. Once these are unearthed, processed and reintegrated through the exploration of ones life purpose and values, a variety of options began to surface and point the way even through the most troubled waters. The method and application of positive self-affirmation to better ones life is one such option. If utilized correctly, it not only yields the desired results but can become a reliable resource in times of trouble. It is, however, extremely important to clear up common misconceptions of how positive affirmations work before laying down the groundwork in order to eliminate any unnecessary patching up of a faulty foundation.
According to Martin Rossman, a medical pioneer in mind body medicine, the unanimous top stressor in peoples lives is worry. If not managed accordingly, worry will preclude positive thinking by sabotaging efforts regardless of the positive intent behind it. In other words, if the need or desire is not uncovered in the process of intending, it will limit the individual from taking the proper actionan integral aspect of the positive selfaffirmation method. Without appearing too reductionistic, a lot of anxiety and/or worry do seem to stem from a persons self-image, ability to perform and self- and social acceptance. Once these meta needs are exposed, the person will have a better
Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd. Use is governed by the Terms and Conditions at http://www.icoachacademy.com Last updated Feb 2006
starting point in designing an effective program to manage stress and reach desired goals. Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology developed an effective imagery system which allowed his patients to delve into their unconscious via art, hypnosis, active visualization and recollections of dreams which were later analyzed and reintegrated via the conscious state to make the individual more whole or balanced. Drawing on Jungs extensive discoveries of how the human psyche functions, Rossman has created a holistic 5-step Emotional/Intuitive Intelligence Wisdom system (2010:29) to help the modern person combat worry and stress while moving towards an optimal state of being: cultivate calmness via breathing and relaxation; clarify worries by sorting them into can/cannot change categories; access inner wisdom by practicing meditation; enact guided imagery via visualization; and empower self via best quality imagery . Additionally, focused effort and commitment is required to bring about even a modicum of success before applying positive affirmations to bigger goals. Any worthy book or website on positive affirmations underlines this importance. And the principals of effective integration of new learning are further supported by Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) which maintains the 21-30 day rule to effectively learn and apply a new habit. Anything less will demand backtracking to the original intent and the subsequent inception of a technique or tool to make it happen.
Another casual misconception comprises the belief that the method of positive selfaffirmations does not require a change in other areas of ones life. The premise of this paper is analogous to Abraham Maslows classical hierarchy of motivational needs model which both satisfies and integrates five levels of needs beginning with the primary stage of the physiological and safety needs (physical and material), the secondary stage of the emotional and social wellbeing (emotional and social) before arriving at the
highest level of self-actualization needs (mental and spiritual), the tertiary stage where the positive affirmations method can be categorically placed. (Maslows classic model was later augmented by three more levels or two more stages.) It is difficult to maintain both the commitment and focus if one is habitually drained or isolated from others. Similarly, if a person has deep seated anxiety or anger issues and he or she wants to bring about a better job position via the application of positive affirmations, unless some attention is also given to the underlying behavioral issues (emotional needs), he or she will probably not be very successful in applying positive affirmations to the desired goal. By delving deeper and exploring ones values and beliefs system, a genuinely interested person will also uncover the roadblocks, the aversions and the attachments to negative motivational factors which habitually preclude the movement in the right direction. These discoveries will redress the failed attempts to arrive at the desired destination. And a more accurate map of the intended travel will have surfaced.
The state of manifesting ones reality requires a systematic control over ones thoughts which by means of this deliberate process are then transformed and channeled into desirable outcomes. A person tapping into the highest level of his or her potential will not be discouraged by obstacles or setbacks regardless of the intensity of the temporal discomfort. By accessing energy from this vital and/or spiritual plane, that person will learn not only how to cope effectively but even more importantly, how to utilize the crisis for maximum benefit. Therefore, it would not be an exaggeration to say that the positive self-affirmation method will generate desirable results mainly for those who have already gone through the first two stages of self-development and who have reached a measurable degree of success through persistence, optimism and self-appreciation.
Although no model is perfect unto itselfand Maslows hierarchy of motivational need pyramid poses significant questionsit lays out a blueprint of the bigger picture at stake via the potential release of destructive beliefs and the shifting of a perspective. The concept of self-actualization and its varied implications, can serve as a very powerful tool for the individual who has already manifested results on the lower levels of the pyramid of needs. Additionally, the interdependence of human needs and/or desires is inescapable when understood holistically; both the positive self-affirmation method and Maslows hierarchy of needs model address this keynote in a simple and clear manner for the subconscious mind to absorb before a person arrives at his or her own internal structure to begin generating desired results externally.
The third major misconception in using positive self-affirmations effectively is idleness or inaction. When theres no real commitment to action, no real outcome follows. Doing positive affirmations intermittently or only when in a positive frame of mind brings about mixed results and additional frustration. By only repeating positive affirmation (out loud or in writing) but not following through with the necessary action steps forever leaves one at a point of departurethe place of intent to arrive at the desired destination. Moreover, a lack of commitment quickly leads to a lack of motivation which culminates with the classic state of inaction. Unfortunately, since people also tend to be unconsciously negatively motivated, the difficulty of maintaining commitment in the face of adversity is indeed overwhelming. In combating worry and laying out an effective action plan, Rossman is wise to rely on Roberto Assagiolis pioneering trans psychology work when he states that people tend to have a weak link in the chain of moving from insight to action (2010:131). Abraham Maslow, one of the founders of humanistic psychology and Richard Bandler and John Grinder, the founders of NLP, discovered through their
research that successful people are highly self-reflective and possess a developed internal structure to skillfully turn insight into concrete action. Such people also embody an effective framework to deal with any arising challenges or inherent difficulties and a practical system that helps them turn problems into solutions. To the innocent observer, self-actualized individuals seems to rely on special knowledge when it comes to navigating skillfully over troubled waters, but in fact, such persons have developed an elaborate, highly refined and continuously advancing system that optimizes their intelligence, inherent talents and acquired skills to further develop their self-designated potential to be all that they can be in the freest and most natural state possible (OConnor & Saymour, 1990:179-204).
Although not an exhaustive list of the many more misconceptions that exist about effectively using positive affirmations, these three main ones ought to suffice to proceed to the actual method and its effective application to coaching. However, a disclaimer needs to be made to keep things in a broader perspective. Although much attention has been given to the study of human consciousness in the last century, the human mind and its three known levels of consciousness (conscious, subconscious, unconscious) both as independent and interdependent systems remains a great mystery; meanwhile, it continues to elude experts who cannot help but to be driven by its mysterious force to hypothesize and systematically test, measure and categorize its expansiveness into some form of scientific consistency. If, however, the mind is continuously integrating, evolving and expanding like any complex living system, it must also be capable of shaping and reshaping of itself, thus giving rise to an altogether different paradigmatic view of the way people learn, behave and come to create and recreate themselves.
II. The method of positive self-affirmations and its implication in coaching
In its most fundamental state, the method of self affirmations comprises the formulation of a goal, the generation of self-affirmation through any personalized technique that will be discussed shortly, the daily ritual of writing an/or repeating self affirmations, the willingness to observe oneself and modify the technique along the way, and finally the necessary action steps to arrive at the desired outcome. However, a more comprehensive positive self-affirmation method will also include the releasing of corresponding negative beliefs, the integration of imagery or self-visualization, daily journaling to document successes and learning along the way, and some form of quiet time and/or meditation. Lastly, the maintaining of gratitude and the surrendering to higher or transcendent forces outside of personal control is also extremely helpful if not vital.
Beginning with the first stepthe formulating of a goal, the act of intending a specific outcome is of paramount significance here, for it opens up the possibility of the outcome to exist. This super objective also unlocks internal energetic forces and fuses them with the external universal ones at the incipient stages of the process. A kind of deep longing or desire is ignited in the instant of intending, particularly when the desire is aligned with a persons higher purpose. And if the intent is strong enough, a subtle shift in consciousness occurs culminating with the feeling of knowingness, which often heralds the goal in less time than initially anticipated (Gawain, 1978:98). Whether the intent is evoked daily or maintained in the background, this incredible mechanism intuitively guides the person towards the next right step not only in modifying the goal, but perhaps
more importantly, in sustaining the momentum when things become laborious or complicated. This can prove crucial for a coach when assisting clients in formulating realistic and practical goals which can in themselves also serve as guiding posts along the way to the desired destination as it is not unusual for clients to modify or even change their goals entirely once the coaching process is underway. Most importantly, in order for the goal to remain viable, its blueprinting effect is most effective when further supported by the setting and/or explorations of clear intentions whenever necessary.
The second or third step of the positive self-affirmation method requires the client generating his or her own positive self-affirmations for the method to have any personal significance and subsequent success. This can be done is several ways: together with the coach, alone by the client or by the client employing self-observation when with others. The first ways is often the easiest and most reliable, for it furnishes the client with a more objective starting point that can be either replicated or modified in the other two instances. Sometimes, just by listening, observing, clarifying of clients content and asking external questions, the coach can elicit the appropriate positive self-affirmation from the client. Other times, the coach will need to tune in deeper, ask probing valuedriven questions and/or articulate feedback from another perspective to help the client tap into his or her own underlying beliefs system in order to arrive at beneficial information that will aid the client is self generating his or her own positive selfaffirmations to be employed on a daily basis. The key point here is for the client to grow adapt at observing the negative self-talk which becomes the very content from which positive self-affirmations are generatednot unlike Katie Byrons highly effective technique of turnarounds which has the person restating his or her beliefs within a more accurate frame.
Although not always included in the positive self-affirmation literature, the releasing of negative self-affirmation is as important as the affirming of positive ones. The capacity of the human psyche to follow any self-programming delineated by the mind is astonishing despite any negative consequences (Jung, 1997:21-41) In other words, both the mind and the overarching psyche which includes the emotional, psychological and spiritual faculties will be swayed by any persuasive argument or story the mind comes to generate via sensation, perception, and direct or imaginary experience. Thus, it is not unusual to find clients who understand intellectually the method of positive selfaffirmations but who are still hanging onto deeply engrained negative beliefs that prevent or curtail their efforts. Don Riso, a personality typing expert via the Enneagram, has made releasing an integral component of his positive self-affirmations method by advising clients to first release old beliefs before affirming positive ones as accorded by their individual personality type (1993:31-103). Similarly, Sondra Ray, a trained nurse and sex therapist discovered that many of her patients were greatly helped after she had incorporated positive self-affirmations as part of their healing and recovery program. She tells how the simple changing of the psychic energy at the very moment when negativity was being expressed has helped her patients to deal more constructively with their negative thoughts inside and outside of the office (1976:11).
Once the client has self generated a few positive self-affirmations, the next natural step for the coach is to outline the general technique of affirming clients goals in the positive. This fundamental structure includes positive affirmations being stated in the present as if the dream or goal already existed. The affirmations should be short, concise and easily evoke a strong feeling to reach the psyche. They can be written, spoken out loud, taped
or posted in strategic areas such as the kitchen or workstation. Some writers encourage using ones name and writing, speaking or taping of the affirmations in the first, second and third persons for optimal outcome (Ray, 1976:27 & Gawain, 1978:96). Most importantly, affirmations need to be affirmed 1-3 times daily, preferably in a relaxed or meditative state. If doubts or negativity arise, it is essential to clear the culprit energy by simply imagining it leaving the body on the out breath while inviting healing light on the in breath. If unwanted thoughts and/or feelings persist, the coach can help the client master a conducive clearing and/or releasing technique, such as one where a client systematically works out the negativity out on paper; meanwhile still maintaining the regular positive self-affirmation practice. According to Shakti Gawain, a respected manifestation teacher, emotional resistance may arise when user either try to change what already exists or contradict their current feelings or emotions. She advises, instead, to focus on the new possibility about to enter ones life by cultivating the belief that it already exists and not by denying its possibility as too many people often inadvertently tend to do (1978:25). Finally, if the client is still meeting with failure, the coach may need to revisit the goal and especially the intention behind it in hopes of uncovering the underlying belief as well as the clients need for hanging on to it to clear the energy.
The overwhelming majority of manifestation teachers encourage supplementing positive self-affirmations with a visualizations or imagery technique to manifest ones dreams and goals. A very similar concept runs through NLP, particularly with its anchoring technique where a desirable state is created and anchored as a means of replacing negative behavior while reprogramming the mind to ground itself in a positive experience. The anchoring technique also relies on empowering imagery and positive word or phrase to
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trigger a physiological state that can be enacted at will to help a person move towards the desirable outcome (OConnor & Seymour, 1990:53-62).
Comparably, the basic visualization technique comprises three essential steps: a relaxation technique with eyes closed; the perfect outcome of the goal imagined and with all of the nuances and emotions experienced; and the creation of a positive affirmation phrase to lock in the imagery. Again, both the visualization and anchoring techniques are enacted in the present with enough of emotional engagement to make it real. Rossman recommends the Observer exercise for a more transcendental experience, especially when there is a need for instruction to be obtained from the psyche or higher self: relax the body, tune in to an inner self (states) while maintaining enough sensory awareness, open up a dialogue between the mind and the body (introspection), observe internal feelings or changes (psyche), become conscious of the Observer having an experience (transcendence), allow for any thoughts and feelings to arise naturally without censoring them, remain in this state for as long as comfortable (meditation), and upon reconnecting with the outer self, note down any memorable thoughts, feelings and/or sensations which can be further explored for any insight (2010:68-70).
Not all of these techniques may be necessary or even conducive to an effective coaching session. However, numerous visualization or imagery techniques are available to a coach to choose from as the need arises. More importantly, as all clients are uniquely different, it is essential for the coach to pay attention to the clients response to gauge their willingness, progress and preference before moving on to another resource. Sometimes the act of accountability and gentle probing of the coach unlocks yet another door to new content for the client to explore and generate new insight.
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This paper would not be complete without touching upon the subject of intuition: Unfortunately, too many people still have difficulty with relying on their intuition even though they can distinguish reasonably well between the little voice and other voices of their identity coming through. By effectively utilizing the positive self-affirmation method outlined herein, the channel of accessing ones intuition also grows. Whether journaling proceeds action or comes after it, the best way to develop a practical and consistent plan of action is by connecting with ones intuition through self-observation, self-inquiry and self-reflectionhopefully on a daily bases. Although most people tend to favor their rational mind, the next right action step furnished by ones intuition will always supersedes any action created by the rational mind relying on memory and logic, especially when it comes to issues of the heart and the hope being that a selfactualizing person is continuously working towards a balanced state of the heart and mind. In fact, people who rely on their intuition first tend to use their rational mind more expertly than those who chiefly rely on their logical reasoning.
A skillful coach knows that a clients capacity for self-awareness and self-growthboth necessary to reaching goals resides in the clients intuitive faculties. The clients epiphanies or Aha moments are strong indications that intuition has been tapped, and therefore, the coach needs to learn how to help the client expand in this territory in order to help him or her formulate and take the next action step. It is also the most difficult task for a coach to undertake since the nurturing of a clients intuition is paramount to the client becoming self-generative of any state, goal or desire he or she chooses to experience. However, if encouraged and consistently fostered, the payoff exceeds all expectations. Therefore, action must be taken as part of an effective positive self Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd. Use is governed by the Terms and Conditions at http://www.icoachacademy.com Last updated Feb 2006
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affirmation method, but if fused with intuition, the point of arrival is that much sweeter, for a holistic engagement of the psyche always yields the right results even through temporary discomfort and/or suffering by liberating the authentic self from old beliefs that no longer serve.
Finally, the practice of quite reflection or meditation fuses it all together into a unified or holistic system which promotes the development of a healthy psyche expressing itself adroitly in body, heart and mind. Every exponent of exploring and evolving the human consciousness promulgates meditation in one form or another for the simple reason that it works by calming the mind, stabilizing the senses and strengthening ones intuition. Moreover, regular meditation naturally generates more challenging states such as detaching from desired outcome, accepting of difficulties, feeling and expressing genuine gratitude for all things and people, and surrendering to a higher self that is linked to a mysterious force that holds all life together in a unified pulsating field of all possible transpiring experiences and realities and on all conscious levels. Pragmatically speaking, the expressing of gratitude and allowing for things to naturally unfold, allows the person to celebrate more successes along the way while teaching him or her how to relax the psyche which will reward the aspirant with a deeply satisfying state of beingness or stillness yet another very important ingredient to manifesting the hearts desire with the simple act of intending.
III. Final comments on applying positive self-affirmations to coaching
Not all clients will be open and/or willing to use positive self-affirmation as part of their strategic solution of coping with and resolving of their issues before reaching their
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desired destinations. After all, this method is just one approach, one toolalbeit a potentially holistic one to shift a perspective and realign the clients attitude and beliefs to reach his or her desired goal in a relatively timely manner. There are many other coaching techniques that may be more applicable to clients situation and preference. It is extremely important for a coach to listen in closely and decipher the clients need through the various layers of personal psychology peeking through before proposing this or any other method. If the coach hears an opening as in the case when the client is repeating the same storyline or voicing complaints, the coach can ask or invite the client to explore the given issue through the lens of the positive self-affirmation method to see if this resource is appropriate in its scope and application. It sometimes happens that a client is very enthusiastic in applying this or other methods in the beginning, but than as his or her interest wanes and disappears altogether, it is a good indication that this is not the right approach, at least not at that point of the exploration. If, however, the client does obtain some positive results, however minor at the beginning, it will be necessary to ask the client to recommit to using the method consistently and keep him or her accountable throughout the process. While it is possible to maintain this method in the background in the coaching session(s), it will serve its vital purpose, if it is designated as the primary tool of the coaching discussion because it will allow for an integral approach to surface via the exploration of clients observation of thought patterns and ensuing reactions to daily stimuli, all of which will allow for partial albeit necessary release of negative thoughts, beliefs and patterns as the structure continues to be modified to accommodate clients unique psychology and preference. Most importantly, the tool remains at the disposal and control of the client outside of the session(s) where the real work takes place.
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At best, the positive self-affirmation method can serve as a helpful and potentially an integral tool in aligning clients energies (thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and habits) to better meet his or her self-designated higher purpose for leading a more expansive and satisfying life. At worst, the method can appear inconsequential and/or irrelevant to an individuals path of growth and self-transformation despite the indubitable fact that some of the methods underlying principals are running at default despite a lack of conscious awareness. For the casual user, positive self-affirmations offer little outside of the instantly gratifying inspirations with an occasional motivational nudge to rise up to action. And it is often the anecdotal part of the explanation that moves people to rethink their life and make some important changes, albeit not necessarily holistic ones. It does appear, however, that the complexity of human personalities, conditioning and preference demands a wide range of methodologies and techniques in scope and exploration before one is successfully applied and maintained by a client to benefit him or her on the path of self-growth and hopefully the path of self-transformation.
In conclusion, when viewed holistically, the positive self-affirmation method works best in conjunction with effort being made in other areas of life, such as well being and the constructive management or anxiety and worry, particularly in the face of change even if the change is highly problematic. The human mind is, however, an efficient and highly adaptable intelligence system that can be skillfully and creatively guided by the very individual in the process of self-actualization. Through the garnering of self-knowledge, self-mastery and self-transformation and through the effective application of methods such as this one, the world remains the proverbial oyster to be savored and enjoyed. As Norman Vincent Peale, the progenitor of positive thinking once said, People become
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really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success." [retrieved online 2012]
References Byron, K, 2012, The Work, Retrieved on October 22, 2012 http://www.thework.com/thework.php Campbell, C, 2002, The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction, Sourcebooks, Inc., IL. Chapman, Alan 2010, Maslows Hiearchy of Needs. Retrieved on October 12, 2012 http://www.businessballs.com/maslow.htm Beckford, R, 1999, Still Groovin: Affirmations for Women in the Second Half of Life, The Pilgrim Press, OH. Finer, E 2003, Effortless Wellbeing: The Missing Ingredient for Authentic Wellness, Wellbeing Resources, IL. Gawain, S, 1978, Creative Visualization, Bantam Books, NY. Jung, C in Chodorow, J, ed, 1997, Encountering Jung on Active Imagination, Princeton University Press, NJ. McLeod, S. A. 2007, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Retrieved from on October 5, 2012 http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html OConner, J & Seymour, J, 1990, Introducing nuro-linguistic pogramming: psychological skills for understanding and influencing people, Aquarian Press, London. Peale, N, Retrieved from on October 25, 2012 http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8435.Norman_Vincent_Peale. Ray, S, 1976, I Deserve Love: How Affirmations Can Guide You to Personal Fulfillment, Celestial Arts, Berkeley, CA. Riso, D S 1993, General Affirmation, in Enneagram Transformations: Releases and Affirmations for Healing Your Personality Type, Houghton Mifflin Co, NY. Rossman, M, M.D., 2010, The Worry Solution: Using Breakthrough Brain Science To Turn Stress And Anxiety Into confidence And Happiness, Crown Archetype, NY. Kathy Sprinkle, 2012, Cultivating Bliss. Retrieved from http://blisshabits.com/2011/10/exploring-intention-what-is-intention-anyway/
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Additional websites used: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming
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Research Paper Assessment Name: Stania Zbela Date: 10/28/2012 Student ID: StaniaZ (265874) Email: szbela@sbcglobal.

Towards Effective Use of Positive Affirmations in Coaching

II. The method of positive self-affirmations and its implication in coaching

III. Final comments on applying positive self-affirmations to coaching

Additional websites used: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming

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