Sermon on the Mount

Beyond Anger Management

Part 4 of 10 - Matthew 5:21-26
This morning we continue our series in the Sermon on the Mount and we are going to talk about dealing with anger, which
is a fairly relevant topic for most of us. Anybody here have any unhealthy examples of how you deal with anger. Since
we are a Christian community and since we value authenticity, we can share stories about our lives that are not always that
flattering...Right? So we’re going to stand up one-at-a-time and share our most embarrassing anger stories. No, we’re
not.

I will share one and see if you can relate. We have two sons and a couple of years ago they got into air-soft pellet
guns. I don’t like guns, we don’t have them in the house but somehow a couple of the air-soft guns appeared,
which resulted in some dented up doors, a few welts etc. That wasn’t so bad, but their look-alike guns and they
freak me out. I don’t want some police officer not seeing that little orange tip and mistake it for a real gun when
my sons are running around the neighborhood at night with a bunch of other teens shooting at each other.
I think that’s reasonable. Well apparently one of my sons didn’t get the memo and through a series of event I had
the gun he bought without permission in my possession, there was an argument, tempers flared, or a better word
ignited and I took that gun and I walked out the front door and I smashed it on the concrete. In the midst of the
yelling and smashing I noticed a person walking along the sidewalk in front of the house. So I stopped for a
moment, and I waved as if to say,
“Hi, I’m the friendly Pastor who lives next door.”
And then I bent down and picked up the pieces.

Isn’t that a flattering story? Don’t you feel better about me being Senior Pastor of our church? Now clearly I am not
proud of that moment. It was immature, it was out of control and there was absolutely no way the store was going to let
me exchange that gun for a new one.

I share that story as a reminder that people get angry, even really decent-looking, seminary-trained, ordained kind of people
have moments of anger that are at best embarrassing, but more often than not, are hurtful to themselves and others.

And yet all too often we don’t even know why we have these feelings. Some of us don’t even know that we are angry, and
the worse part is we often don’t know what to do about it. But what if there were a way, a different way, a way that would
change all that?

In both of our worship sites we are exploring through the Sermon on the Mount how Jesus teaches the way, the lifestyle of
the good life. In this sermon Jesus promises that if we don’t just hear these words, but in fact, begin to put them into
practice, we don’t just know–but we actually do them–that our lives will grow sturdy and strong, like a house built on a
rock.

The first real-life issue that Jesus addresses is the way we deal with anger. Why would he start with that? Why not pride,
or poverty, or atheism, or traffic jams or high taxes? But instead Jesus starts with how we diagnose and deal with
anger...as if to say, at the root of so many other struggles in life is the problem of anger, which brings us to Jesus’ words
from the Sermon on the Mount, starting in Matthew, Chapter 5.

Jesus says: (please read it along with me)

You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, “You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will
be subject to judgment.” But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to

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 judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, “Raca,” is answerable to the Sanhedrin. And
anyone who says, “You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matthew 5:21-22)

Let’s make sure we are clear about what Jesus is saying.

The first thing we see Jesus doing is diagnosing the real problem. He says you have learned to follow the command to not
commit murder, but I say that just keeping that rule has not made your heart loving. There is a kind of anger in you that is
just as damaging. And yet the real problem is not anger in and of itself...

Anger is simply a spontaneous response to a perceived wrong. When you see someone harm another person, there is a
response of anger. You think that is not right, and you feel some form of anger.

When you see someone harm something you care about, there is a response of anger. You think that is not right–and you
feel some form of anger. Psychologists would argue that anger is a necessary emotion that when properly handled enables
us to take corrective action in the face of evil or injustice.

Jesus would agree. Jesus himself felt anger when He saw the religious leaders of His day take advantage of the poor or the
sick. The anger did not fuel His ego or lead Him to violence, but He saw injustice and He felt angry. That is not right.
That is not good. Feeling anger in and of itself is not a sin.

But here in the Sermon on the Mount Jesus is not talking about a feeling of anger as a spontaneous emotional response to
wrong-doing. Jesus is talking about a kind of anger that turns into deep resentment or contempt for another. The word
Jesus uses for anger in this passage depicts a pervasive, on-going grudge that a person might hold against someone else for
days, weeks, months or years.

Anyone here ever hold a grudge? Some of you might have a name or a face in mind right now...It kind of becomes a part
of who you are. But Jesus says,

That kind of anger is dangerous and damaging.

Jesus is talking about a kind of anger that says “Raca” to another person. The word raca is an Aramaic word that literally
means “stupid.” It is basically like saying, “You idiot!”

Ever been driving down the road and had someone cut you off? Ever have a friend, child or co-worker who keeps making
the same mistake? When those things happen our instinctive response is to think things like....

How thoughtful. That is so wonderful that you did that. Next time make me slam on the brakes and go into a
skid. You are a great person.

No...we think to ourselves,

What an idiot! What kind of a person would do something like that?

And Jesus says,

That kind of anger is dangerous and damaging.

Jesus then goes further and talks about a kind of anger that says “You fool” to another person. That language is a bit
antiquated and doesn’t’ sound too harmful, but the modern equivalent of the word “fool” would be something more like
“You (blanken) jerk,” which is how theologian Dallas Willard concisely translates the word.

Many of us think these things, even if we’ve trained ourselves to not say them out loud, especially about people we think
really deserve it.

Jesus says,

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 That kind of anger is dangerous and damaging.

All too many of us struggle with this kind of anger every single day–
*Anger that fosters a deep resentment of others.
*Anger that dismisses the competency of others.
*Anger that attacks the value of another human being.

All too many of us know what it feels like to have a grudge held against us, or to be verbally or even physically attacked,
which just feeds that cycle of resentment and contempt and further separates and divides a relationship.

This is a serious deal for Jesus. He says this is as serious as the most serious sin there is.

I met with a young man recently who is not from our church and we started talking about our relationship with our
fathers. I asked him if he was close to his father. His tone immediately changed. He became pensive and
somewhat somber and he said it was hard to be close to his father because his dad has such a temper. So he and
his mother and siblings just had to keep their distance. Then he was quiet, clearly living in a painful memory.
They just had to keep their distance. It’s that distance that makes anger so damaging, because it kills the
possibility of love and grace and intimacy.

Maybe that growing distance is part of you story...Something that has made love and grace and intimacy feel impossible,
and has left your heart feeling cold, confused, and mad..While Jesus wants to bridge the knowing-doing gap, in this sermon
he also wants to give practical instruction to guide our actions.

At the foundation of Jesus response is the promise that God’s heart always remains warm and tender for you. There is
nothing you can do to make God stop loving you. But Jesus also knows that knowing is not enough. Transformation
requires learning a new way, a new lifestyle.

Jesus wants to teach us a way of life that not only addresses what has caused us anger, but also has a healing, redeeming,
renovating effect on our hearts. So Jesus says this:

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has
something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person;
then come and offer your gift.
Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the
way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and
you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny. (Matt.
5:23-26)

So what is in this “new way of life” that Jesus gives us to deal with our anger? Three quick practical observations.

1. First Jesus confronts the ways we try to dismiss our anger...And makes dealing with our anger priority number
one.

Long before we get to the place where we are breaking things on our front steps, we are many times dismissing or ignoring
something that has created anger in our hearts.

Many of us carry some pretty deep pain and resentment from a broken relationship that left us bitter and angry. We try to
just dismiss it. It’s just one of those things. I’ll be a man and just get over it like that young man in my office. Ever try
to get over it? Convince yourself it’s no big deal? I’ll be fine?

The problem is, it doesn’t work. We aren’t’ fine and we don’t get over it. We carry it with us and our hearts grow cold
and callous.

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So Jesus confronts and rejects this way of dismissing our anger by giving the example of a person leaving his gift at the
altar.
In that day, the most important moment in ones’ spiritual life was bringing a gift or sacrifice to the altar. It was the most
important part of one’s relationship with God, which means Jesus is saying that whatever is most important in your spiritual
life...
*Prayer
*Church
*Worship
*Community
*Study
*Service

He says stop, put it down, go deal with your anger. In other words, dealing with your anger is more important than the most
important thing.

So what’s the most important thing on our agenda this week? Because it just became number two on your list.

Dealing with your anger is more important than the most important thing.

2. A second observation from Jesus’ instructions is that Jesus confronts our tendency to delay confrontation with
others and instead says deal with it now. No need to wait...

He gives the example of a lawsuit and says go and settle matters quickly, while you are still on your way to court. Jesus is
not saying we should try to force reconciliation, or that we should just give into the demands of an adversary, or that we
should put ourselves in harm’s way. But Jesus is trying to quicken the pace when it comes to resolving conflict with
others. So we don’t wait weeks, months, or years before having that conversation. Jesus says do your best to settle things
quickly. Don’t delay confrontation.

Ill. of grudges ---- Communion Sunday Experience at Student Pastorate in Henderson, IL where certain people
would not take communion from certain people whom they held a grudge with. - term for people holding
grudges in that community was “they had words” - those grudges poisoned that small town and the church.

3. And a third and final observation from Jesus’ instructions is that Jesus confronts our tendency to discuss our
anger with other people before or instead of going to the actual person.

Jesus says the next step is to go and be reconciled with that person. The next step is to settle matters quickly with you
adversary. Sometimes the situation is severe enough that you need to seek objective counsel on how you can move forward,
but how much more often do you find yourself in a situation where you could simply go to a person and say,

This thing you did or said was hurtful and I want to talk about it.
But instead you went to a third party and said,
Can you believe that so-an-so did or said that?

Jesus calls us to go to the source of our anger or conflict and start there. If someone comes to you and starts tearing into
someone else, the best thing you can do is say,
Have you talked to that person?
Because if not, maybe you should start with them, and then see if you still need my advice.

Don’t dismiss it, or delay confrontation, or first go to third parties. It is so simple, and yet these are so hard to do. But
these are the kind of actions that Jesus says will change our hearts, will set us free, and will make us whole.

Can you imagine how much more unique and compelling we would be, if we learned to practice just theses three things in
our lives? It would turn our world upside down, which is what Jesus promises will happen if we become doers of the

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word.