The Fairy Journey

Written by Eduard Vacek Why does a person live anyhow, why is he born, why does he live and die? Joe asked Bartosek. Both men lay down on the bank of a murmuring brook and displayed their brown bodies to the sun beams which were warming the whole valley. The pine trees smelled good with their rich heavy scent, and so did the various flowers in the forest clearing. The atmosphere seemed to be slowly dissolving in the summer forenoon, and the dew on the leaves was beginning to evaporate as the sun rose high over the landscape. Itll be bloody hot by noon - the sun has been scorching since morning, Bartosek said without paying any attention to Joes words. He watched the glittering slivers of light from the brook, and the round stones that stood unmoving in the stream as it passed them by. He looked at the foamy spray which sprinkled droplets of shining water, and mused upon the fact that he could do this for hours. At the same time he watched the burning flames which swallowed the tree loppings and dry twigs. Fire and water, two of the great miracles of life, so close yet so incomprehensible. Bartosek preferred to watch a dying fire firebrands, which glowed crimson in the restless wind and suddenly faded away, only to flare up again. Fire and water, two elements that belonged to vagrancy most of all because they brought a feeling of home, even in the most distant places which one might happen to visit. We know fire and water intimately; they do not change their image like a landscape does. Therefore both elements, in their gentle form, give one the feeling of safety, of home and peace. Joe and Bartosek belonged to the guild of vagabonds they were constantly walking through landscapes and observing life as it passed them by. When they found some place they liked, they stayed there... Well, why not? A persons home is where he likes to be. Maybe they would stay here forever, if only... But after a time it was typical that one of the pair simply couldnt stand to stay any longer, and as soon as he began to talk about a journey, the other one already had his belongings packed and wanted to go on. It was a nice place here, but it was true there was nothing much to do. They had been wandering together for at least a couple of years, now, and it was possible that they didnt even know when they were born, or where their birthplaces were. But one thing was sure: even though they knew there was no reason to keep on travelling, it simply wasnt possible to stop wandering feet it was necessary to wait until the feet got tired. Joe repeated his question. What do you think? Why do we have to live at all? Maybe its because a man just has to live. To put it simply, one day he is born and then he must live until he dies, answered Bartosek. Yeah, but wheres the meaning in it all? insisted Joe. Bartosek didnt know. Lets ask someone, that would be the best thing to do, he suggested to Joe, just to get some peace and quiet. But in this respect he was not successful. Once Joe had begun to question and philosophize, it wasnt so simple to stop him. Well, intervened Bartosek, right at the moment when Joe had paused for breath and was about to ask another question. Lets go on now, weve had enough rest. Joe agreed, but with bad grace. He was in the mood for questions, and his head was full of strange ideas to which he needed immediate responses. However, a journey was a journey and Bartosek was still standing there waiting. Why do you always have to interrogate me? he said after they had jumped over a brook to reach the opposite bank, and had turned towards a pathway. Joes strange questions were capable of driving him to his wits end, and when he thought of them he frequently became disheartened. 1

Because there are so many questions that I dont know the answers to, responded Joe. Whoever asks questions will surely learn, and its easy for men to believe that Fate will respond with all the answers they need. This was so much the case with the two friends that they had unintentionally crossed the important border separating the real world from the world of fairy tales. Besides the human beings, animals and flowers that are so familiar to us all, strange and incomprehensible events also exist, weird landscapes full of mystery where one may be dressed in the body of an animal or a plant without disturbing the laws of nature. The laws of our world become irrelevant, then, because this other world has its own internal laws. Hence, its no surprise that the lower forms of life can act like people, while on the other hand people can remind us of animals. Neither Joe nor Bartosek realised that they had already left behind the familiar and solid land of cause and effect, and had entered a realm which would soon bring them so many surprises. Instead of their souls being tossed by anxiety and fear of the future, they were light-hearted and gay, without any worries, like children not yet burdened by guilt and bad conscience. Well, let us allow our two friends to quietly enter this world, where they shall be our guides, and where in the course of a long journey they will meet with so many strange adventures that it is astonishing to even think they could occur. Next morning Joe and Bartosek got up very early. This happened because theyd rested in the midst of a fertile glade which was overgrown with clumps of wild thyme, and as soon as the first beams of the sun had warmed the air and dried the dew drops, all the bushes and flowers suddenly came to life with bees, bumblebees and other living creatures. The only people who could have slept through such a concert were vagabonds so tired out by travelling that they no longer had any knowledge of their surroundings. However, Joe and Bartosek were not like this. They didnt rush through the world like runaway tourists striving to see and catch everything. On the contrary, both of them, in their effort to understand and to learn about the world, tramped with resolute steps; they stopped to pay attention to events that deserved such attention, and they sped up when there was nothing interesting to see. When they opened their eyes early that morning, they lay there resting on their hands and watched the glade as if they were in ecstasy. Sun beams passed over the vaporous haze rising slowly towards the tree-tops, and a couple of steps ahead of them a spider dried its web in sun beams while the dew drops at the edges of the web glittered like glass beads. Somewhere nearby, a bumblebee buzzed its monotonous song, and raspberry bushes displayed their big fleshy fruits, like breakfast being offered to guests after a solid rest. It makes a big difference how one gets up, Joe said. When the morning is fine the whole day is usually fine as well. Sure, supposing one doesnt meet something that spoils such a fine day, returned Bartosek. But both had a feeling that this particular day could not be spoiled by anything. After breakfast they hit the road, passing through bushy undergrowth, then headed towards the centre of the forest. The forest became denser and even more bushy, and it seemed to Joe that no human being had ever passed through this place. In grubby pools they could trace the hoofprints of wild boars, while all around stood the broken trunks of tall spruces, stripped of bark and perforated with small holes drilled by hornets. The trees stood there pointing towards the heavens, like silent witnesses of an eternal struggle between life and death, while lichen and thick moss covered stones and the rotting, dead bodies of other trees which had already fallen. It was cold and moist here, and the carefree buzzing of insects had disappeared, as if all life had ceased. Here and there a rotten bough would sometimes fall, making the blood of both pals run cold.

Shouldnt we turn back? whimpered Joe. Theres no way through and we wont meet any living creature here. We promised each other that wed keep on going forwards, and that we wouldnt be afraid of any kind of danger, responded Bartosek. However, even he was impressed by the evil atmosphere and the deathly flavour of the deep forest. The small mucous-filled lakes, where gas bubbled through peat, made him feel particularly depressed. Listen, not even the birds are singing, said Joe as he drew closer to Bartosek. Suddenly a shadow flashed through the twilight of the forest, and Joes and Bartoseks hearts almost stopped beating. A giant owl passed close by them and came to rest on an old forked tree, the trunk of which was split from the ground to the top. Both came closer to take a look at this weird tree and the giant bird; then they walked around the tree watching the boughs intently, but in vain: the owl had vanished into thin air. Bartosek stood on his tiptoes and tried to look into the hollow of the tree, and a breath of cold wind seemed to come from inside. Dont look there, Joe begged of him, we have to continue, otherwise well be late. He stepped unwillingly away from the tree, which somehow seemed to attract him, as if it held some secret. After all, it wasnt normal for air to flow from a slit in a tree trunk. The owl had disappeared, but perhaps she had her nest somewhere inside. It was just a common tree, old and hollow, Joe tried to persuade Bartosek, a man to whom he could always open his heart. However, even he was forced to admit that the tree was strange, to say the very least. Where had that giant owl disappeared to? She must have her nest inside the tree. He had never seen such a giant owl in his life. The tree had to be hollow all the way through, with a hole somewhere near the top that was accessible only to birds. However, after some time both of them forgot about the tree. They travelled as quickly as it was possible to go with all the bumpy roots in their path. Several times both got water in their shoes, but they didnt pay any attention to this discomfort as they continued to hurry along the only thing that concerned them was leaving that sorrowful and depressing forest behind them as soon as possible. They wandered on for a very long time, until both were exhausted by the long, troublesome journey. Lets have some rest, suggested Joe when no end seemed to be in sight. Over there, behind that fallen trunk, agreed Bartosek. However, as they came closer, Bartosek began to wonder at what he saw. I think weve been here already, he said. I think youre right, agreed Joseph, who had also noticed the familiar line of trees and the contours of a landscape he seemed to have passed through before. But its not possible we didnt turn or change direction all the time we were walking. Look! cried Bartosek, pointing with his finger at the same tree they had so quickly moved away from half a day before. But it isnt possible, shrieked Joseph, who, using his last remaining strength, ran towards the tree to examine it more thoroughly. It was definitely the same tree they had passed that morning, and now it was late noon. Im sure, said Bartosek, that whatever direction we take, we will always come back to this tree. Well then, what should we do? asked Joseph helplessly. We have to go inside to discover the secret of this tree, replied his friend.

Im afraid I cant do that, admitted Joseph, Id rather wait for you here. Im afraid too, said Bartosek, but there isnt any other choice. Then why dont we simply walk in another direction instead, suggested Joseph. All right, agreed Bartosek, Ill wait for you here. Do you really think Im gonna be back here again at this tree? asked Joseph. Bartosek nodded seriously. Im sure. Joseph thought about this for a while, then told Bartosek that he would hit the road by himself. Bartosek sat down on the ground and leaned against the trunk, while Joseph began to walk out of the forest. After several steps it seemed to him that the exposed roots of trees on the ground were beginning to move. He saw that they were, in fact, not roots at all, but a writhing mass of snakes which curled in frantic movement. His face was coated with spiderwebs, while dread and fright clutched at his heart. He shrieked out in panic and fled back to Bartosek. Im going to go with you, he said resolutely, I think it would be better. Both pals climbed to the top of the tree. There they discovered a hole from which a cold wind was evidently blowing. You go first, said Joseph, and Ill follow you. Bartosek slowly lowered himself into the black hole. His eyes had not yet become accustomed to the darkness, and he tried to find some bulges or outgrowths to cling onto, but the hollow tree was very slippery. He lost his grip and went into freefall, and it seemed to him that his downward journey would last forever. Finally, however, he landed. Surprisingly, Bartosek wasnt injured, as the ground at the bottom of the trunk was strewn with rotten debris and leaves. Even though he couldnt see anything at first, he soon became accustomed to the darkness, and after a while he began to perceive a space, into which he ran. The only light which penetrated the hollow trunk came through a narrow hole high at the top of the tree. He stood up and moved just in time, for a moment later Joseph fell like a sack of stones right onto the place where hed been standing. Are you all right? asked Bartosek after the clouds of dust had settled. Yeah, but where are we? responded Joseph as he rolled out of the dead leaves and rotten wood. Bartosek was already standing near an iron door, upon which hed discovered some kind of handle. To this he delivered a powerful blow, and the iron door swung open. Immediately, the two pals were struck by a blinding light and had to close their eyes. A wonderful and miraculous landscape lay before them, lit by a very peculiar glow, quite different from that of the sun. Strange as it all was, it still seemed quite natural to them. The land was imbued with the fresh colours of strange plants that neither Bartosek nor Joseph had ever seen before in fact, they probably hadnt even heard of them. And all around them grew many different types of fruit. This is surely the Promised Land, Joseph cried out, theres plenty of everything here... Bartosek was a little more reserved in his judgement, although even he was much impressed by the underground landscape. Come on, theres no reason to keep standing here, urged Joseph as he pulled at Bartoseks sleeve. But before we go any further we should mark in this place, otherwise well never find our way back, suggested Bartosek. Itll be a long time before we want to return to that grim world weve just left, replied Joseph, remembering the mournful forest through which theyd wandered the whole day. But 4

Bartosek began to sharpen a stick with his knife, and pushed it into the ground close to the rocky hole where the iron door was hidden. Then he took a green ribbon from his hat and tied it around the stick. Joseph considered this measure useless, and was already reaching for some of the strange fruits in order to see how they tasted. In shape they were similar to terrestrial pears, but their colour was blue... Before Bartosek was able to warn him, Joseph had eagerly bitten into one of the blue pears. His friend only managed a quick intake of breath before Josephs ears started to grow and elongate, and within seconds they had reached size of an adult elephants ears. At this point they stopped growing. Help me, Bartosek, otherwise my head will fall under such a burden, shouted Joseph as he touched his huge auricles in panic. I can hear someone laughing, he said unhappily. I can hear people laughing at me. Then he burst into tears. But no one is here, comforted Bartosek. Why are you screaming at me? shouted Joseph as he covered his huge ears. Bartosek didnt know what to do. Now I can hear people crying. Theyre crying because Im so ugly, wept Joseph in despair. Only the two of us are here, said Bartosek quietly. Why are you screaming at me again? Joseph cried, as he closed his giant ears once more. These huge ears were extremely sensitive to each sound and Joseph could hear much better now than he ever could before. However, it was hardly surprising that he didnt want to listen to anything at the moment, even with this new-found advantage: with every little movement that he made, both auricles flew about like tarpaulins on a haystack. What am I to do? he wondered. Well, I once heard about a similar case where a man ate some fruit that looked like pears and grew horns; but then, after he ate another type of fruit, they disappeared, replied Bartosek. Joseph pricked up his huge ears. He took a look around and suddenly saw another tree. Again, the fruit resembled pears, except this time their colour was red. Bartosek was none too happy when he saw Joseph picking another unfamiliar fruit to eat, but Josephs desire to be as he was before was stronger than Bartoseks warning. Sure enough, after eating a few of the red pears Josephs nose grew to outrageous dimensions. He no longer looked like himself at all. Rather, he reminded Bartosek of a young elephant, as his nose, by now, resembled an elephants trunk. This was pure disaster and Joseph quickly gave up the idea of wandering any further. He simply lay down on the ground and wished he were dead. Bartosek didnt know what to do with him, preferring to remain silent instead. Im not going to move from this place before Ive tasted all the different kinds of fruit, said Joseph suddenly, but with resolution. One of them, at least, must be able break the spell that has been cast upon me. He stood up and ran towards a group of trees and bushes, where there were some yellow plums. He picked a whole batch of them and stuffed them into his mouth. Stop it, stop it! cried Bartosek when he saw what Joseph was doing. This time the transformation was in his eyes, which began to get bigger and bigger, until they almost fell out of their sockets. At one moment it seemed that his eyes would indeed jump out of his head, and that Joseph would henceforth be blind. The entire metamorphosis had transformed Joseph into a horrible hybrid, which taken as a whole was even more terrifying than the goggling yellow orbs and flying auricles. His monstrous cucumber nose perfectly underlined 5

the depth of the calamity that had overtaken Joseph, who now began to act like a lunatic. He attacked a bush on which big violet berries grew and swallowed some. His mouth gaped into a frightful grimace, a violet tongue slipped out between his lips and slithered out over bloated lips until its end easily touched his chin. The tongue was spotted with pimples and blisters, which, seen from a distance, looked like the forsaken craters of dormant volcanoes. Bartosek covered his eyes, unable to stand this awful view of his friend and having no power to prevent Joseph from doing whatever he wanted. Joseph looked around one more time, then picked a strange, wrinkled fruit which resembled nothing so much as the broken spring of an alarm clock. As soon as the monster had swallowed the fruit, his hands began to elongate, the joints ossified and the fingers were transformed into snaky sprouts with twisted sharp claws. You are no longer Joseph, cried the horrified Bartosek, who began to flee without a thought as to where he was going. Stop, cried Joseph, with his talons stretched out before him. And so it was that both of them ran away: one full of fright before an apparition that a while ago had been a friend; the other one in despair, lonely and fearful that he would be left by his companion. They ran until Bartosek fell down exhausted, at which point Joseph came running along to sit beside him. His tongue swayed from side to side, his ears flew around his head, while the gigantic eyes had yellow pupils that span independently around the circumference of the twin orbs, like the eyes of a monstrous lizard. You mustnt leave me, I would die of sorrow, he whispered. But Im afraid of you youre not Joseph any more, but a frightful monster. Terror flows out of you, you are disgusting and inhuman, breathed Bartosek quickly. But Im still your friend I love you, Bartosek, as if you were my brother, said Joseph in despair. You cant leave me now not unless you want me to die. Dont say that, its not true, responded Bartosek. I love your soul and your pure heart, but Im afraid to even look at you now... Ooooooh, came a voice from behind them, we have visitors. Bartosek glanced towards the place from which the voice had seemed to come, but could see nobody. Look, over there, said Joseph, pointing with his twisted finger. His eyes, monstrous in their abnormality, could see much better than Bartoseks eyes. I cant see anything, said Bartosek. Joseph stooped and picked something small from the ground, then placed it on a tree stump. Welcome, Holy Magnificence, came a resounding voice from tree stump, and suddenly that scarcely visible spot began to grow. At first, it looked like a hairy ball, but it grew rapidly until it stood as tall as both the pals. With limbs like wood, lots of knots and wood chips, and with clothing of moss and various types of greenery, the creature was certainly a rum fish: instead of a head, there was a tree stump covered with lichen; instead of a hat there was a tree fungus. Welcome, Immeasurable Magnificence, hail be and hallowed to the end of time, Light Of The World, King Of The Predestined Ones, shouted the figure as it jumped around Joseph and performed complimentary bows. Astonished, Bartosek could only stand by in silence. But suddenly the foresty apparition turned on him. Ooooooh, cried the figure mournfully as it covered its stumpy head. Ooooooh, how atrocious! Oh Caesar Of The Mighty Ones, what frightful monster or gargoyle are you accompanied by? it roared, before 6

hiding from Bartosek behind Josephs back,, as if it were expecting some protection from him. What?! Bartosek roared. Me a gargoyle? Look at yourselves, both of you its you who are the monsters, terrors in the guise of living beings. You should be lying spread under a tree with honey mushrooms growing out of your belly. And as for him what kind of creature is he, with that head, that trunk between billiard balls, those flappers flying around his head and that flycatcher for spiders instead of a tongue? Surely none of this can be true. Bartosek was very upset. Dont listen to him, opposed the foresty hobbit, hes crazy everybody can see your magnificence, Your Majesty. Just wait until my sister sees you! Oh, what a welcome that will be! He chafed his wooden claws together while moss crumbled to the ground. Who are you, my little cully, exclaimed Joseph, happy that hed met someone who didnt care about his ugliness. I, Your Serene Highness, said the creature, bowing with servility, am the Stumpy Hobbit, and all around here is my dominion. Everything, oh Utmost One, everything here shall be at your disposal. However, if I can beg respectfully, my commander and dominator, please lock that monster somewhere so that peace and order may be maintained. I ask this of you in deepest supplication, he said as he made a deep bow. But only today, I looked just like him said Joseph pointing towards Bartosek. But then I ate five different kinds of fruit And you became perfect, my Lord, completed Stumpy Hobbit before he had a chance to finish. Perfect? Joseph could not believe his huge ears, and looked open-mouthed at Bartosek. You are as perfect, my Lord, as you have always desired to be. Joseph tried to figure that one out. Yes, its true I did use to dream about an excellent body. I envied the eagle his keen eyesight and the dog his perfect nose. And now youve attained excellence in all your senses, added Bartosek. Your ears are perfect because you can hear everything. Isnt this true? Why, yes, responded Joseph. I can hear everything that is happening in this forest, and even far beyond. I can even hear the grass growing. And what about your huge nose? I can smell perfectly, its true Im able to recognize all kinds of different aromas. When I close my eyes I can even orientate myself according to flavours. And your eyes, what about your eyes? Yeah, I can see everything. I can see behind me, I can see the fir-needles high on the tops of trees, I can see each individual beetle. Yes, I can see everything. And how about your tongue? Joseph moved his tongue over his palate. On my tongue I can savour the antheral dust of flowers and the seeds of trees; I can recognise the taste of the wind that brings messages from distant countries, because winds also have their taste depending on which direction they blow from.

Ah, yes, you are truly perfect, rejoiced Stumpy Hobbit. And your hands? continued Bartosek with his questions. When Joseph touched the bark of a tree he felt a sudden pain. Your sense of touch is also perfect, commented his friend. Yeah, all five senses are perfect, said Joseph. But even so, I would prefer to be as I was before like you are, Bartosek. You wanted to obtain perfection and when you get it, youre not satisfied, said Stumpy Hobbit. Yes, but Ive lost my identity, lamented Joseph. Your appearance is a hundred times better than it was before and your abilities adorn you, my Lord. You resemble us, now, pucks of this underground realm youre one of us. I would still like to look like I did before, said Joseph sadly. With these features I can never be amongst people. Then stay here with us, in the other world, and let your friend go back to where he came from. You, my Lord, are perfectly adapted to life here. Beauty in the world above represents ugliness here and, vice versa, ugliness there is the most admirable beauty here. Ill marry you to my sister and you will be so happy that you wont give even a thought to the world you left behind. No, I wanna be like I was before, insisted Joseph. Im warning you, said the hobbit, the underground powers will join forces against you, and then youll be in trouble. Youll suffer so much that youd wish you were dead. No one will help you then. Bartosek will help me, retorted Joseph. And with that the Stumpy Hobbit disappeared. Take water from a spring and drink, came a disembodied voice from somewhere far away. Joseph looked around and saw a well. The moment he took a sip, a clap of thunder resounded, and a second later he was standing there like a human being once again. Both pals were overjoyed at Josephs return to his previous incarnation. Joseph jumped around Bartosek in clownish enthusiasm, pulling his nose, ears and tongue, and for awhile both forgot about the execration of the Stumpy Hobbit, which, in the future, would bring both of them so many troubles. Josephs ordeal If there is one thing I can say for certain about Joseph and Bartosek, it is this: their rambling feet cant wait around at all. While one whistles some song and swishes a walking stick, the other one walks thoughtfully onwards with his head inclined. It is high noon, but here in the underworld the light is never-ending, and it never goes down as it does on earth. Because of this, neither of the pals can orientate himself, either by the length of the shadows or by the position of the stars in the sky. They measure time by their hunger and thirst. Right now, they are standing in the middle of a clearing in the forest. The high-pitched buzzing of flies is mixing with the low hum of some peculiar type of bumblebee, the weight of which is bending the stem of a flower to such an extent that it is about to break. Id like to eat something, brother, Joseph sighed, but my haversack is empty. So is mine, responded Bartosek sadly.

What a bloody business! shouted Joseph, and flipped his walking stick towards a tree stump. Why are you hitting me on the head? said the stump in a grumpy voice which made Joseph jump aside in panic. Youre cheeky and youll pay for this dearly, croaked the stump again as it began to crawl slowly out of the ground. Joseph could see that the stump had a pair of hands, a body and weird limbs which were partly hidden under the ground. He was slowly climbing out of the ground as black soil fell from his rough tendons. He was certainly not very attractive to look at: probably some troll, or a forest hobbit. Im gonna use your legs, then you, instead of me, wont be able to move. Immediately he had finished, Joseph fell down and was incapable of standing up again. The stumpy creature gave a loud laugh and disappeared, leaving behind him only the swaying undergrowth. Help me, help me, pleaded Joseph to Bartosek, I cant move an inch. Bartosek sprang to Josephs aid and helped him stand up on his now weak and twisted legs, which had begun to resemble roots. When he didnt hold onto him firmly, Joseph would immediately fall down again. Dig my legs into the soil, cried Joseph, I cant move with these roots anyway. Maybe Ill change into a tree in the course of time and the pain will disappear from my heart. Bartosek stood there with tears in his eyes, but finally he put Joseph over his shoulder and set off to look for a physician who could offer some advice. However, as he could find nobody to help or advise him, Bartosek was forced to construct a vehicle which he put Joseph into, then they continued to wander much as they had before. But Joseph started to be gloomy and his heart was filled with sorrow. Once when they stopped in the middle of the forest, and Bartosek was sharing the bread that hed cadged earlier, Joseph took out a flute and began to play such sorrowful tunes upon it that Bartoseks heart mourned. Here you are, Id rather watch you eat than hear you play, he said, passing Joseph a piece of bread. As soon as Joseph touched the bread, all of a sudden an old man appeared, decrepit and shabby, and asked them to give him some of their bread. Even though they didnt have enough for themselves, they shared the bread with the old man. I would give ten years of my life, if I could only walk again, said Joseph to the old magician. The man waved his stick, and Joseph jumped up like a deer from long grass, but after only a few steps he fell down dead on the ground. Ah, yes, this is all as it must be, said the magician. Only seven more years were allowed for Joseph, and therefore he should already have been dead for three years. He left without paying off his debt. The old man nodded wisely and disappeared from Bartoseks sight. Bartosek ran quickly over to where Joseph was lying and turned him onto his back. But what a wonder he saw! As he came closer he was astonished to see the transformation that had taken place in Joseph. Only bundle of moss-covered bones remained even his clothes were entirely decomposed, as if he had already lain there dead for at least three years. Bartosek cried over his friend and dug a shallow grave with a stick, into which he put Josephs relics. At the front of the grave he erected a simple cross-made of birch boughs and fixed it with a stone. As the cross penetrated deeper into the soil, it was as if he could hear a choked outcry coming from below. Before long, the newly-made grave began to twist in all sorts of ways, and suddenly a thoroughly dirty-faced Joseph peeped out from beneath the soil with a tiny injury in the middle of his forehead. You saved my life, Bartosek, screamed Joseph as he climbed out of the grave. Bartosek helped him to stand up and both rejoiced that Joseph was again alive and healthy and that he could again walk on his own two feet. What more can be waiting for us? sighed Joseph 9

while raking up from the fire one hot potato after another Both pals swallowed them, despite the fact that they were so very warm. Look, said Bartosek showing Joseph an old and rotten shoe which had long since come apart. This your shoe I forgot to put into the grave. When the cross touched your forehead everything what was inside the grave became renewed. Well, said Joseph swinging his arms, one more left for me. And, moreover, these shoes went out of fashion a long time ago, and for a long time now Ive been wanting to buy a new pair, somewhere in the market place. This was the reason that both guys got up very early next morning so that Joseph could get his new shoes. It was necessary to be in the market as early as possible because shoes were in great demand, and it could easily could happen that the shoemaker would offer shoes that were too big or shapeless, and which later would trouble him. In the market place it wasnt complicated to find a shoemaker, but it was difficult to pay, as both Joseph and Bartosek were decidedly out of money. A season reminding them of earthly winter was imminent and so the pals decided to earn some money, which would help them to survive the cold weather. Therefore, they found themselves jobs with a baker, who lent cash to Joseph so that he might buy some new shoes. There was a nice smell in the bakery, and it was warm too, and there was always enough bread to eat. In addition, the baker had a beautiful daughter whom Joseph liked very much indeed. But to his great misfortune she was already engaged, and her marriage was to be take place very soon. As they baked the wedding pies, Joseph cried. The baker, who liked both friends, gave orders to bake a bride out of bread dough, and that evening Joseph took the bride home. She was already soft and warm, and soon his room was filled with the wonderful smell of fresh-baked bread. Unable to resist his desire, Joseph began to taste the model, piece by piece, until he had eaten up many parts of the damsel. Then he put her remains to bed, embraced her and fell into a deep sleep. When he awoke in the morning, Joseph found a woman lying next to him in bed, so beautiful that his heart was seized by a wild joy. But the damsel was sad, and could not smile, because Joseph had eaten pieces of her body. When he saw that one of the maidens hands was missing, Josephs heart almost broke in despair. Joseph ate his bride, some children playing on the village green yelled, and a greybeard in the local pub said that indeed the bride was dainty. Bartosek tried ineffectively to comfort Josephs despair. After looking carefully at the bride for some time, he noticed that she had eyes which he had already seen somewhere before. Yes, now he had it! Such eyes had the stumpy hobbit at whose hands Joseph had already suffered so much. Bartosek began to feel some devilish trick was afoot. He advised Joseph to reconstruct the bride and put her back in the oven. They brought bread dough and mixed it in a kneading-trough. Then they put the bride on the table and pasted the missing limbs back onto her body. Joseph heated up the oven and asked Bartosek to help him put the damsel inside, to complete the process. However, just at the moment they began to do this, the bride suddenly changed into the old trickster and promptly vanished. Joseph thanked Bartosek for his assistance, and quickly lost all love for brides. When winter was over and the very first snowdrops began sprouting around the tree trunks, Joseph and Bartosek became restless and had to hit the road again. They baked some bread for themselves, said farewell to all and started to tramp through pathways and trees that were still wet after the winter snow. They entered a forest where there was a clean spring of fresh water. Immediately, Joseph began to feel thirsty; he put his mouth near the water and prepared to drink. When he puckered his lips to drink from the spring, the water suddenly fell away and Joseph was kissed ragged and by the moss-covered face of a forest granny who snatched his 10

ears and gave him one kiss after another. The hoarse guffaw of the stumpy hobbit echoed from behind Joseph. Meet my sister, he said after he had finished laughing. After I heard you desired to have a bride, I decided to give her to you as your wife, just like I promised before. Shes yours now, so be a good husband to her, the stumpy hobbit added. His croak faded away gradually, until it died out completely and only the echoes remained. Josephs and Bartoseks blood ran cold when they saw the huge and stooped granny, snaggy, three times dried by age, and with lips like a shopping bag. Ooh, lamented Joseph, there cant be a more despaired tramp than I, because no one has such an ugly wife as I have. Dont say such words, because you still havent seen my two sisters, the granny croaked. They, at least according to earthly standards, are much much uglier than I am. However, listen to me, my husband that which is ugly for you people represents beauty in our world, and your beauty means ugliness to us. Thats what Ive already heard, said Joseph sadly. Well, if you want to attain joy and happiness, then you yourself must change your opinion about beauty and ugliness. Then you will find yourself to be ugly and you will enjoy me, your wife. In that case, Id have to be entirely blind, noted Joseph, hardly managing to avoid the slap by means of which the granny wanted to shut his ill-mannered mouth. If you are not able to change your views on beauty and ugliness, enjoy at least the fact that you have the ugliest wife in the world, because my sisters are still single. Am I crazy to attract such perverted scenes? asked Joseph, and hid his face in his hands to weep. You should introduce me to your parents, the granny tortured Joseph without any remorse, lifting him onto her humpback, complete with his haversack. Bartosek followed them in low spirits, and the mournful procession walked through the landscape. Frightened people turned aside. Bartosek tried, as far as it was possible, to comfort his fellow and enumerated the advantages of married life. All the time he emphasized the luxury that Joseph enjoyed to be carried through the forest by the lichen-covered hunchback. Occasionally, they came upon a small coniferous tree, and from time to time a green lizard flashed there while its beady eyes inspected these unusual intruders. Bartosek showed Joseph his feet which were blistered by long and constant walking. But Joseph was not in a situation where he could express his pleasure about the advantages that he enjoyed. Contrary to Bartosek, he was not even capable of rejoicing in the beautiful natural scenery, and instead cried silently. He did not perceive Bartoseks kind and soothing words, but was full of despair and unhappiness. He did not even notice that the grannys hump, luxuriantly covered by vegetation, was moving through just the place where all his disasters had begun. Accidentally, the time was exactly the same as one year ago. Also, the landscape seemed to be the same. Bartosek pulled Josephs trouser-leg and silently pointed to a rotten tree stump, the source of all their disasters. I want to have a rest, yelled Joseph directly into the grannys ear, which was encrusted like a wasp's nest. At this, she fell down, right beside the stump. Joseph flung himself down and tugged at the rotten wood, as if his life were in mortal danger. Suddenly the stump revived and called out to the granny for help. One more second and Joseph would have been defeated, but exactly at this moment the year expired from when the stumpy hobbit first seized power over Joseph. It was the time of Josephs rescue. Both the granny and the stumpy hobbit grew 11

weak, and as their vital fluids began to dry up they disintegrated into greyish rotten dust. Only Joseph failed to notice the transformation and fought with Bartosek as if with some devilish power. When all was the over pals embraced each other, full of joy that everything had passed. The old man While sleeping, Joseph tossed and turned so much that he woke up Bartosek. His wildly beating heart, sweaty clothes and spastically compressed hands evidently proved that he had had a bad dream. Its already gone, comforted Bartosek for a while, it was only a dream. Yeah, it was, agreed Joseph. I dreamed about the stumpy hobbit again, I dreamed that there will never be an end to his torment. Lets turn our steps in the opposite direction, suggested Bartosek. I believe that land has its own singularities, and once there we will not even think of that bloody stumpy hobbit. Joseph agreed, and when sun rose in the morning the pals changed their steps and moved through a landscape where spacious meadows and huge steppes evoked feelings of unchained freedom. Meadows were followed by pastures interlaced with rivers and brooks, and they walked through rolling hills and admired natural blue lakes, as steep rocks and ragged gorges came into view. All this walking was exhausting enough for both of them, and they hadnt met any living being for a couple of days. This made them all the more surprised when late one evening they spotted a glittering light amidst the rocks. When they came closer they saw an old man warming himself at a fire. The old man had a head of white hair and his face was full of wrinkles. His clothes had certainly seen better times: his shirt was worn and shabby, the elbows were patched with rough stitches in various colours, and his wide, flapping trousers were lacerated and had been repaired countless times. The old man sat near the fire, his head in his hands, singing some ancient and sorrowful ballad. Sit down, boys, he invited them without turning round. You shall need a lot of vitality during your journey through these rocks, because the way you have chosen is one of the most difficult. It leads to a deep winding gorge, which is the residence of the four winds. Tell us something about these winds, both friends begged. The old man poked the fire with a stick and began to tell a story: Amidst high rocky mountains, in a narrow and inaccessible rift, there is a valley called Windy Gorge, hidden to the human eye. There is nothing more than rough grey and weather-beaten rock with a completely eroded bottom, not even a pinch of sand or mote of dust can you find there. Wind constantly thunders throughout the gorge, wind that through its savagery wears and rounds the edges of solid rocks as if they are of meek stone. The rock used to be a witness of the hunting games of the four winds which lived there. According to the sphere of their activities, they were northern, southern, western and eastern winds. Because each of them had his duty ordered by the Master Of Winds, they scarcely ever met in the gorge. Mostly they flew somewhere in the sky or over some other landscape, which actually they were obliged to do. However, when they did meet in the gorge, the roar of savage hunting game sounded throughout the rocks, as if some giant organ was blasting there. The most powerful of them, which was also the coldest one, was named the northern wind. His wind blasts brought ice spray and what he fanned turned to glaciers. His kingdom extended over icy and snowy plains and frozen northern lakes. He was familiar with white nights and the shimmering of northern-

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lights, he chased numberless herds of reindeer and also fanned and froze the lichens of distant tundra. The southern wind was his powerful brother. He used to come back from his rambles over the Sahara with arms full of smooth yellow sand heated by the southern sun. In sandy dunes, which he erected, ended and disappeared the footprints of caravans transporting their loads on camels across wide and endless deserts. He was rich with the exotic flavour of southern climes. Their western brother governed over seas and oceans. He was so fast that no one could catch him. When he inveighed against the ocean, he raised mighty masses of water, the waves of which, high and foamy, whipped the shores of lonely isles. Big ships he changed into negligible and powerless cockleshells, which he arbitrarily raised towards heaven then immediately threw them deep into the sinking watery abyss. His smell was of salt. His task was to gather heavy rain clouds, come down on them, move them above the land and force them to yield rain. Their minor brother was eastern wind. As for power, he couldnt match his brethren because his service took place over populous countries. When he flew away, before gaining speed, he used be restrained by the high mountains that towered towards the sky and hewed sharp peaks in the clouds, as if they wanted to tear to pieces their ethereal bodies. He also used be held back by tall, dense forests and big cities, the high buildings of which stood like walls and opposed his velocity. He could only fly above fields and meadows, or above the idle water of rivers. Maybe because of these limitations, the eastern wind was playful and breezy. He divided his power in such a way that he might enter every nook, pass and valley. He blew dry leaves off trees and moved them in spiralling whirlwinds, and he enjoyed this. His more powerful and mighty brethren laughed at him and encouraged him to use his power, down on the earth, and that he should not bother about what this might bring to terrestrial inhabitants. But the eastern wind argued against this, saying that the earth was full of life and that ruthlessly enforced authority would destroy this life. When all four met, which happened from time to time, to tell each other what was new on the earth in their four climes, then the whole windy gorge rumbled with their wildness. The northern wind was always the first to speak: I, he said, I flew at high speed to the north pole to freshen myself up. When I saw a reindeer family on Spitsbergen, I breathed on them and changed them into icy sculptures, frozen like a stone. Next, in the Barents Sea, I saw a fishing vessel with a dragnet flung into the water. I threw thunder at that boat and let it be frozen into ice that was two metres thick. Tomorrow I shall visit the place again to finish what I began. I, said the southern wind, I flew to Africa, to the equator, to warm myself up. When I saw an oasis below me and plenty of animals living there, I breathed on them just once and my bitterness converted that place into dry tinder. Immediately, all the animals fell down dead because of thirst and the great heat. My power is so great that only white bones stayed behind me in the sand. Neither was I idle, the western wind said. I flew over the Atlantic Ocean and I inveighed against the waters. My power lifted meters high waves and flooded unsuspecting isles. All living creatures were drowned, leaving no witnesses. I drove dark clouds and caused hailstorms, the like of which have never been seen on the earth. Every living being I drove from the ground, and I destroyed all the peoples crops. There was silence after all these words. And what about you, eastern wind, how did you do? asked the northern wind of the fourth one. I, the eastern wind said, did not accomplish any violent acts as you did, my brethren. 13

My goal is to do a modest service to life. While you are taming the most powerful elements of ice, fire and water, I flow over land inhibited by people and animals. I can see their misery and I know that their lot is not easy. Why should I intensify their troubles and add affliction to their woes, which fortune itself grants in plenty? I have no urge to demonstrate my power by destroying and demolishing their work. My power works for the benefit of life because I blow and cool what is overheated; I blow and disperse fog and drive away smoke; I also dry the washing of housewives. So it happened that the youngest and weakest of all winds was found to be the greatest and most powerful of all of them. The old man finished his story. Why did you sing such a sorrowful song? Joseph asked the old man. When people are sad they usually sing sad songs, responded the old man. And people are sad in this country. Your country is suffering from a dragon, isnt it? Joseph suggested quickly, but the old man shook his head with disapproval. The kings children have disappeared, suggested Joseph next, staring eagerly at the old mans lips. No such thing, the old man said, swinging his hand. No dragon, and nobody has disappeared. And how about the tree in the royal garden, didnt that tree cease to give rare fruits? continued Joseph without respite. No such thing, opposed the old man stubbornly, people are sad for quite different reasons, for heartfelt reasons. When one is sad, Bartosek commented, heartfelt nota bene, there must always be some reason. He was challenging the old man to tell them what the people of this country were suffering from. We would like to help you to overcome this sorrow, Joseph added. Yes, that is indeed a complicated issue, said the old man quietly. People are merry but they feel heartfelt sorrow. Is such a thing possible? marvelled Joseph, and wrinkles covered his forehead: he wasnt able to understand how someone could be both merry and sad. How can someone laugh and weep at the same time? Blessed shall he be who can put such questions, said the old man, and gave a slight sigh. I see that the country you come from must be a fruitful one and the people living there must be happy. Please, old man, do explain all this to us, begged both pals, as they felt that a great mystery had appeared in front of them, and that the old man was familiar with the secrets of life far more than anybody else they had met. They had wandered around the world just for the sake of such understanding, and had roamed restlessly from place to place to look for hidden truth so that their eyes could be opened. Now it seemed that the old man represented the source of all understanding, and that he might be able to save them lots of wandering. So they turned all their pressing curiousity upon him, and began to put one question after another in the presumption that this would be the way to become the knowing owners of universal truth

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without painful personal experience. However, the old man rejected all these questions and waved his hands as he were repelling some obtrusive insect. Both of you are of pure hearts that are filled with curiosity, he interrupted them in the middle of a sentence, but knowledge is painful and makes the soul sad. The way to knowledge is a steep pathway leading through gorges and abysses. If I responded to all your questions now, this would not be helpful to you because my words would not be supported by your own experience. You have not yet met pain in your hearts, and you do not know how difficult it is to extirpate it. You think that evil produces evil and good produces only good. So this should be and so it is right. However, there are kingdoms where good represents the same as evil is and evil is understood as good. Sinful crowds drag down all who do good works and the villain is adorned as a god. It would be better to retrace your steps and return to your own happy country, because this is the only way to preserve your zest for life. Look at me and learn. I laugh while suffering and I weep when I am happy, like Trothluv did. Tell us who Trothluv was demanded Joseph and Bartosek together, as if they were conspiring. The old man propped himself comfortably against a rock, closed his eyes slightly and added some loppings to the fire. In a beautiful country there once lived a man whose only property was truth. Besides this truth, he did not posses anything. Maybe this is how it should have been, because the fact that he possessed pure truth represented huge richness, which evoked the respect of some people and the spite of others; sometimes, cases also appeared when his truth evoked hate. There was no one in this country who could remain normal in the face of this richness. Maybe you want to ask where this man obtained his property. Well, this might have happened this way: his parents were fond of truth, maybe too much. Perhaps they would even have given their lives for a piece of truth. And so it happened that the more they loved truth the less property and friends they possessed, because it is one of the peculiarities of life that where there is plenty of love there is a lack of bread and friends. Finally, the situation reached the point where the parents possessed nothing at all. They lived alone, and this was the reason why they were able to impart to their son only their love of truth. The son was not much pleased at the beginning, but later, when his intellect developed, he fell in love with truth. Each day he dealt with truth, and each day he cleaned it and washed from it all kinds of dirt. He who wants to take care of his property must forget about truth. So said the people who preferred to expand their property rather than take care of truth. However, that man did not listen to them because he still remembered the legacy of his parents. They had impressed upon him the fact that truth constitutes the greatest possession, that it brings joy to the heart and radiance to the mind. Because he was so addicted to truth, people began to call him Trothluv. Without any restraint he was able to rejoice at nature and life, and each place that he entered immediately became his home, and his heart loved with latitude and freedom. The others were bent every day over their properties, which took not only their energy and all their time, but which also deprived them of the possibility to learn life and its meaning, and which, instead of joy, brought them only slavery and spiritual hopelessness. These overworked people felt only exhaustion, and when after a hard days work they sat down, instead of talking about life they toppled over like sandbags and slept until the morning. As their properties became bigger and bigger, they needed more and more work, and people felt themselves ever more exhausted. Joy of life was out of the question. Jumping and rejoicing, Trothluv evoked still greater spite and hate. When it seemed that the country had never been so rich before, the fields had never given such yields and the cows had never given so much milk, robbers invaded the country. Together with the robbers came 15

people who had never sowed and never farmed. However, despite this, they were the richest ones amongst them. Their only concern was how to take away from hardworking people everything that they had gained through their hard work. Their efforts were not without success, which meant that the entire country was soon in a bad way. Finally, poverty and misery overwhelmed the whole country. Perhaps only one person did not complain during those hard times. It was only Trothluv who rejoiced at life as he had done before. Robbers could not steal his treasure because he did not possess any. And nobody could take away his love of truth which was bottomless. However, not even at then did people liked Trothluv. Instead of taking a good example from him, and inclining their hearts towards truth, they were envious of his joy; they were envious of his heart that was not injured by injustice, which was not robbed of its greatest treasure. However, those who arrived with the robbers to consolidate their gains in the country noticed his joy and light-heartedness. All the time they speculated how to take his joy away from him. They were convinced that everybody must pay a joy tax. That is, if it were not possible to deprive person of it completely. Once, when they met him, they asked him about the reasons for his joy. My love of truth, was Trothluvs answer, and of this he was quite sure. His answer prevented them from sleeping. We have power they contemplated, and Trothluv has truth. Wouldnt it be possible for us to have truth as well as power? He who is the owner of power he also must be the owner of truth, because it is justified and so it is reasonable. From that time on they watched Trothluv closely, and made every effort to take his truth away from him. First of all, they promulgated throughout the country the fact that they were the only ones who possessed the sole and indisputable truth. They passed a law that there was only one genuine truth, that this truth was indivisible and that they were the only ones who were entitled and authorized to proclaim this truth. Just to be sure, they sent messengers who announced throughout the land that Trothluv was a liar attacking peace and order, and that by means of his pronouncements he was cheating all honest and hardworking people. Then they put Trothluv in prison. Some people, who did not like Trothluv, were pleased that he was finally being punished. They were convinced that this was pure justice, because they believed that everybody should be given the same amount of pain and sorrow. They did not notice that real misery had overtaken them because they had been completely deprived of everything that was significant in their lives. Now, only the isolated and lonely Trothluv could rejoice at truth in prison; only here did he reach understanding and comprehended the wisdom of his ancestors who, instead of possessing property, had imparted the love of truth to him. Neither Joseph nor Bartosek noticed, as they fell into deep thought, that they were lonely. The old man disappeared, unwatched and without saying good-bye. This must indeed be a very strange kingdom, philosophised Joseph as they walked along a pathway full of potholes and stones. Only a small number of vehicles passed them, and each of them was covered with a ragged tarpaulin and had primitively repaired wheels. It seemed to both pals that while rattling over the stones, these vehicles must surely fall to pieces, that by no stretch of the imagination could they possibly reach their destination. The people they met were uncommunicative: they shied away from encounters and conversation, and they did not respond with any answers. Mind your own business, a vagabond, whom the friends had wished a good journey, barked at Bartosek. Dont concern yourselves with my journey! Just worry about where you are going yourselves.

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What a strange country. Its as if it has been cursed, sighed Joseph, and silently remembered words of the old man. As evening fell, they entered the city. Its streets were empty, and only the occasional person flashed past them here and there, clearly engaged upon some urgent matter, and disappearing quickly. Joseph wanted to ask for a night's lodging, but the doors of all the houses were firmly closed and nobody answered his ringing. From time to time, though, they noticed the discreet stirring of a curtain and a pale shadow that might have been a human face. Hey, you, a voice came from behind. When they turned round, they saw three men standing there with unsheathed swords. Who are you? We are pilgrims passing through your city. Exactly as I guessed, one of them said. Seize them because they are obviously spies of a foreign power. Before the pals could turn around, they were handcuffed and led along dark streets. Do you know someone here? one of the guards addressed Joseph. No, I am here for the very first time. Well, here you are, said the guard politely and struck Josephs back with the flat part of his sword. Joseph just set his jaw. Why did you punish him? asked Bartosek. You could hear for yourself that he doesnt know anybody here, responded the yokel. And what about you? I dont know, Bartosek said. It could be possible that we have some influential contacts here. Well, thats another fish to fry, said guard softly and struck Bartosek as he had struck Joseph before. You are the same type of vagabonds, so you will share the same cell and eat the same mush. We will also try you according to the same law because you are equal with each other, just as tens and hundreds of other people like you are who have spent years of their lives in our nick. When I smash the mug of one of you, Ill do the same to the other one as well. Dont you think this is fair? Sure it is, boss, agreed the other two characters, and laughed with rough voices. You boss, you are the most fair-minded man in this country. Only after the king, admitted the commander modestly. Their laughing had faded away by the time they passed through the entrance of the city jail to which they brought Joseph and Bartosek. Do you have anything? asked the chief officer of Joseph. Nothing. Does this mean that you also keep nothing,? he addressed Bartosek. No, I dont. This is your own blunder. You could have had cell number two, or number three at the worst. Instead, youre gonna be thrown into number eight. Death row. As he said this, he winked at the other guards.

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Do you know what youre gonna find? Cold, damp and stench. The awful stink of the sewers, from which rats creep out like rabbits. For you, vagabonds, havin nothin as you do, absolutely nothin, twill be a great and fitting roost. Move along bastards, he barked at them. Well, here we are, said Bartosek when the iron-bound cell door closed behind them. Joseph placed his ear to a hinged quarter window. He could hear the dull clank of chains, accompanied by the multiplied echoes of screams and withdrawing steps. Then, the obscene invectives of a guard. Bartosek shivered with the cold and damp. The walls were moist and overgrown with mould, and there was a stinking sewer in the middle of the cell from which sounded the high-pitched cheeping of rats. Only a compact bar prevented them from invading the cell. Fidelio, dont beat me, please, stop it, please, no, no, stop it! A woman's cries and the sound of whip lashes came through a small window. Hey, let her be! screamed Joseph, so long and loudly that the noise stopped. Then an oppressive silence settled. Maybe he killed her, Bartosek remarked. How it is possible that people here are so evil-hearted, lamented Joseph, his head in his hands. I think that they are evil because they suffer. They have a cruel and malignant sovereign who tolerates only servants and yes-men. And consequently those servants choose other people that are equally evil-hearted. Each of them desires to be superior to the other ones and to catch the fancy of the sovereign. Cruelty, violence and evil have spread everywhere. If a sovereign is kind, so are his vassals. People are the same all over the world, even here. It all depends on the government, whose attributes will be accentuated. That is why each government bears responsibility for the situation within the nation it governs. The people who suffer most are those whose hearts differ from the evil heart of their sovereign. This is because their acts rise above their surroundings, and when this happens they show the sovereign to be guilty of evil. Finally, they were beginning to comprehend the old man who wept while rejoicing and rejoiced while seemingly feeling worst of all. This was because the evil sovereign even watched peoples emotions so that he might learn what they were thinking. What a pity that the old man isnt here to give us advice, said Joseph sadly. Ill give you a hand, piped a squeaky voice from the sewer. Who are you, and what are you doing there? questioned Bartosek and peeped into the sewer, paying no attention to the all-pervading stench. I am the Rat King, echoed from the depths of the sewer where Bartosek had supposed there was only a stinking stream of black sewerage. Because you mentioned a good friend of the underground kingdom, I will rescue you. But only on condition that you promise that to the best of your ability you shall help to clean the underground water. Our cruel emperor, who you mentioned before, has leased numerous houses to alchemists who explore the possibilities of producing gold, and who look for the Philosophers Stone. During their experiments they release stinking and poisonous liquids into the sewers which kill my vassals and profanes the entire underground water system. But how can we cure this when we are strangers here and, moreover, we do not even know the laws of this country? asked Joseph.

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The laws of this country are quite simple. He who has power also controls justice. But we have no power, responded Bartosek. You have the power of a pure heart. Because you are strangers your hearts have not been undermined by fear or corrupted by money. You know how to recognize good and evil. Who else could assist this rotten kingdom except you? Joseph forgot his anxiety and beseeched Bartosek to give their promise to him. At the moment they did so, the iron bar enclosing the sewer suddenly flew open and displayed a narrow stony stairway leading deep underground. Bartosek and Joseph took each other tightly by the hand and carefully began to descend. When, after a while, a guard brought food to the prisoners, he could find nobody in the cell; only the high-pitched cheeping of rats and the underground sewer bore witness to his astonishment. In his report to the chief officer he specified that both spies, incarcerated in cell number eight, had undoubtedly been eaten by a bunch of hungry rats. If they had paid something, he contemplated, they would have been placed in cell number two or three. But to die in this way? the chief officer indolently shrugged. How many more like these will come? In the meantime, Joseph and Bartosek had descended the steep stairs, and were now far underground. They could hear black sewerage streaming over their heads and anxiety again seized their hearts. Dont be afraid of anything, a voice just next to them spoke suddenly, and a human-like figure, dressed in crimson satin decorated with gold and gemstones, stepped out from the shadows. When they looked up at the figure, they were struck dumb. Instead of a human face, a rats eyes and an elongated muzzle with whiskers looked at them from beneath a kings crown. Joseph caught Bartoseks hand in fear. Dont be afraid of anything, repeated the human voice kindly. I am the Rat King and you are under my protection. Here you are deep underground where no human being has ever been before. And no human being can get out of here alive without my assistance. But you took a vow to recover the purity of the underground waters. And that is why I shall protect you. Here you have said he, while tugging at his fur, two magic rat hairs. When you touch them your bodies will be transformed and you will change into rats for a period of one hour. In this way you will be able to slip away, not only out of this place but also into the residence of the evil sovereign. However, if you try to deceive me, you will stay in the shape of rats until the end of the world. With these words he passed them two rat hairs. As soon as Bartosek and Joseph touched the hairs they immediately turned into rats, and quickly they disappeared into a nearby mound of earth. Soon, they arrived in fields that were outside the city limits, where both of them crawled out from beneath a stone. A shadow passed over them, and sharp claws dug into their rat bodies, and the very next moment they were carried away, high into the sky. The sparrow hawk ranged over the fields, making for the steep peaks of rocky mountains, the white tops of which were lost in thick clouds. Bartosek had only time to realize that they were approaching the same mountains where they had met the old man. Both were terrified by the lofty height and by their approaching doom, which seemed to be irreversible. Their fur bristled and they both sent out regretful rat cheeps that was drowned out by the fierce blasts of wind. If they were changed back into human beings at this point, they would surely plunge into the deep rocky abysses below and break their necks. It was necessary to wait until they landed and then transform before the sparrow hawk had a chance to eat them up. At that moment the sparrow hawks claws opened and they found 19

themselves falling down towards a small upland plain that was completely occupied by various birds. This bird assembly was presided over by a sturdy powerful eagle that was evidently conducting the proceedings. All the birds were preaching against the earthly sovereign, against his cruelty, selfishness and irresponsibility. I can see, oh king, how people, sick with the desire to get rich quick, cut down the forests and devastate and plunder the land, an old raven said. They dry up the lakes and they force rivers to flow without meanders or rest, and so they deprive us of our livelihoods, some water birds claimed. From iron birds, they drop dust that kills the beetles that we eat, said the swallows. Suddenly two rats landed on the table in front of the king, and before the horrified eyes of the bird assembly, immediately changed into Bartosek and Joseph. What does this mean? demanded the sturdy eagle, spreading his wings, while the other birds flew around in bewilderment. Joseph and Bartosek told the bird king what had happened to them and how they had they promised the Rat King to assist in the struggle against the evil sovereign. The birds kingdom also suffers from that sinister ruler, and that is why I shall order our party to support your efforts. Without my assistance your bones would be smashed, and you would fall into a deep gorge from which no one would be able to rescue you. The eagle shook his wings, and the next moment he appeared in human form, dressed in a dazzling white robe which was spangled with fabulous diamonds. Upon his birdy head was a coronet. He pulled out two feathers and passed one to each of the friends. Any time you touch these feathers you will change into birds and stay so for an hour. This way you can safely reach the land below, and you also can escape from your enemies. As soon as the friends touched the feathers they were transformed into birds, and wings carried them safely down to the valley below. They flew skilfully, as if they had never done anything else. If you betray your mission, cried the Bird King after them, you shall stay in the shape of a bird until the end of the world!. Joseph and Bartosek were overcome with emotion. The land below was full of colours, like a carpet, the borders of which are out of sight. Slowly and unwillingly they fell towards a small game refuge amidst the fields until they came to rest in the branches of a broad, forked shrub. Immediately, they were imprisoned beneath a large net. They waved their wings, but to no effect, and it wasnt until the hunters arrived that they were finally let out of the net. Then they were put into small boxes. Transformation into human shape was out of the question. Bartosek and Joseph were carried far away, then investigated by a number of inquisitive eyes. Hunters stretched them out and examined their wings, and finally they were flung into a huge garden aviary. It was necessary to wait until nightfall came. When it was dark, Bartosek and Joseph immediately changed themselves into human beings. The transformation caused panic amongst the other birds, and they waved their wings wildly. The friends opened the aviary door and set the confined birds free, then disappeared quickly into the night before the disturbance could bring the keepers unwelcome attention. To avoid getting caught, they changed into rats, and through a tiny hole crept safely out of the place. They fled along fences until they reached a wicket gate, then crept through a narrow slit. After

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crossing a pathway they hurried towards a nearby outcrop of rocks. Suddenly they found themselves inside roomy cavern where they transformed themselves back into human form. After a while, their eyes became accustomed to the darkness, and Bartosek noticed numerous anomalous creatures hanging in the middle of the cavern. When he came closer to examine them, a gruesome view struck him. Creatures that were half-birds, half-rats, were hanging there, heads down and probably transformed by the King of Rats and the King of Birds because they had not fulfilled the promises they gave. Thats horrible, said Joseph after he saw the creatures. Its high time to do something or we also will find ourselves hanging here. Next day they carefully hit the road through the forest. This world, despite the fact that it seemed so perfect in the beginning, hides more secrets than one would expect, said Joseph sadly. First, all the trouble from the stumpy hobbit, and now were just wasting words. He swung his arms despondently. Its better to concentrate on things that might happen to us in the future, responded Bartosek. Theres a road in front of us, and Id prefer to take some vehicle or to ride a horse. But its true that Im in an underground kingdom and I havent seen many horses. I would like to take a little rest, though, because this journey is long and exhausting. They wandered through places where there were no living beings, or at least none that they could recognise. Only strange creatures appeared from time to time, that neither of them had ever seen before. Bartosek pointed towards one of these weird, shy creatures, as if he were advising Joseph to ride the animal. In response, Joseph only waved his arm, but nevertheless he increased his attention. Something was wrong. The creature resembled a horse with two heads. A robust body and glossy muscles bestowed the features of beauty and perfection on the animal. Nevertheless, the two-headed beast was a victim of its own internal ambivalence and it was completely unable to manage. Because of this inner confusion it was impossible for the pals to come closer. They watched the creature stand in the same place, twisting and turning as if it was struggling against some invisible enemy. The efforts it made, and the chaos against which the animal struggled, moved Bartosek and Joseph in an admirable manner. The friends found themselves in the middle of a labyrinthine maze, but they could not avert their eyes from that mass of glossy muscle which was steered by two heads. These heads constantly attacked each other, and argued over leadership. The creatures body was seized by shivers, and it moved in a series of spasms and jerks moves owing to its internal dissonance and chaos. Both heads neighed loudly, the muzzles were white with foam, and the beast flung its forelegs around furiously and beat on the earth with its hooves. The fighting became ever fiercer, due to the creatures unwillingness to yield, and suddenly it seemed to go mad and began to destroy itself. Swollen nostrils showed formidable teeth, which began to bite ruthlessly, and soon blood began to flow from the injured necks. White foam turned into crimson, and the double-headed beast, losing its power, went down on its knees. While watching this awesome spectacle, both friends were breathless. Neglecting Bartoseks warning Joseph ran out from their shelter to stop the awful fight, but he was too late. Doublehead floundered in deadly agony until his body pranced and finally died. Joseph stood helplessly, hands down, and did not know what to do. Its all over, said Bartoseks voice from behind of him; he approached only after it was obvious that this was the end.

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I dont understand this, I cannot, said Joseph in a colourless voice. Stubbornness and enormous pride destroyed this creature. Neither of the two heads could stand the supremacy and leadership of the other one. Instead of this beautiful animal enjoying its freedom and using its gifts to improve its perfection, it sank under the weight of its own contradictions. What an unreasonable being this animal was1 said Joseph in excitement. What unreasonable beings are people who act in a similar way, although they are endowed with intellect, completed Bartosek. Astonished, Joseph looked at him, but he said nothing more. They walked on in silence. Joseph speculated how wonderful it would have been if the double-headed animal, instead of fighting and depriving itself of life, had carried both pals on its back so that they might not have to walk. Pride and stubbornness cannot stand any guidance, said Bartosek, as if he knew what Joseph was thinking. But he was also concerned because this world, so weird and so strange, seemed to have its own system of atrocities. Despite some internal order, to which everything conformed, this was a world they could not sympathise with. Here, there seemed to be a complete lack of safety, or of any guarantees of security, which they were used to finding in their world. What could they expect from such unknown and unpredictable forces, except life-threatening dangers and curtailed freedom? Both of them loved freedom as much as life itself, and they could not imagine such a thing as life without freedom. Nevertheless, they would soon be instructed in a phenomenon that rules over many human lives, that which takes joy in personal freewill and delights in the innermost mysteries of personal identity. It is this which makes personality unique, and their good hearts could not watch the misfortunes of others without using reason to help and to redress the balance. For awhile they walked along a well-trodden footpath, which eventually met another footpath; this happened several times. Later they came upon a broad thoroughfare that seemed as if it would lead them to some habitation. For a long time they didnt meet any living being, until suddenly an elderly man stood in front of them, as if he had sprouted from the soil, bent almost double under the weight of his burden. Wait, we will help you, the pair snapped out simultaneously. They came running towards the traveller to help him carry his burden. Each took a part of his load and mounted it on his own back. They didnt even notice that the man, whom they assisted, was trying to tell them something urgently. And once they had loaded themselves with part of his burden, it was already too late to listen. The weight grew to such an extent that each burden came to be several times heavier than the travellers original one, and both men, Joseph and Bartosek, tried to get rid of their burdens. But it was quite impossible. It was as if the weight had grown into their shoulders, and it seemed to them that their legs would buckle under it. When they looked at the strange man they were astonished: he was carrying the same burden as before. Tell us, what strange thing is this, and how did you acquire it? Bartosek asked the traveller. This burden I carry is the grief and misery of earthly mankind, the man said. If every human being did the same as you two did, then each of us would have to bear only his own small part. But as it is, we have to carry our portion together with the share of people who

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refuse to carry their own burdens. I acquired my weight the same way as you did. Only a man of pure heart deserves to carry a load of grief. Well, thank you very much indeed, said Joseph, as his steps began to falter. However, he could not upbraid the traveller for this predicament because he himself, together with Bartosek, had taken part of the travellers load without being asked. Has it always been such toil? asked Bartosek. The burden has various weights. When a man is full of energy, then the weight is heaviest. And the more he is tired and exhausted, the smaller and lighter becomes the weight. When I was sick I didnt even notice the load. Is there any possibility of getting rid of this? asked Joseph, now very interested in the issue. Yes, but only one, if we dont count death. At the moment you helped me you also unloaded all the people who, like me, were carrying extra burdens. This was because you took up your own share. The more people assist us, the lighter and lighter our burdens will be. And how will it stand when each of us has accepted his own part? Then the debt is settled and the weight disappears. People will be free and happy. And how do you intend to persuade everyone to do this? asked a distressed Joseph. This is very difficult because each of us gradually dies, and thats why we tend to bear our burdens until the very end. We can appeal only through example, because we cannot pressure anybody; only voluntary service that is applicable to all shall be meaningful and wellfounded. I cannot run and jump and rejoice under such a weight. I cannot do anything else other than carry it, lamented Joseph. Yes, this is the only possibility. Anyway, one cannot run and jump and rejoice when there is so much misery in the world, said the man moderately. But me, I and Bartosek, we didnt contribute to this misery This you must admit. Thats right, responded the traveller, but you have the power to change everything. But you yourself didnt change anything, responded Bartosek. I recruited you, answered the traveller and disappeared out of both friends sight. Thats all the thanks we get for our goodness, for our foolishness, grumbled Joseph, but Bartosek kept his silence. His lips were resolutely closed and it seemed that he carried his weight more stoically than Joseph did. Shall we bear this uninviting weight for the rest of our lives? Joseph had tears of fury and sorrow in his eyes. I dont know, said Bartosek non-commitally. We just have to hope that there will be some kind of relief. Do you still believe in justice? gibed Joseph bitterly. Sure, justice must exist, but it depends on the circumstances. The justice of the rich and poor, young and old, sick and healthy, man and woman, dog and cat, wolf and hare are all very different. Justice cannot be so divided that it might be the same for all. The only justice is death, which also terminates all.

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However, both pals were ecstatic when they realised that they had unconsciously drifted towards the border of that strange kingdom. As soon as they crossed it, they no longer suffered under the weight of their burdens, and as they stepped into another land they had the feeling that they had been given wings. They waved their hands, and it seemed that they wanted to fly up towards the sky, such was their joy at suddenly losing all the extra weight. Joseph began to jump in joy again and ran around Bartosek, as if he was mad. But Bartosek sat thoughtfully; a guilty feeling was creeping into his heart, caused by the knowledge that these strange but undoubtedly good people were, thanks to him, endowed with an additional load. I would like to go back, Joseph, he said, because I feel a certain responsibility to assist these good people. Joseph did not want to listen to such words, not at any price, and forced Bartosek to continue with their journey. Neither of them could have known that just a short way from here lay another kingdom, which was even stranger than the last. Soon they would obtain new experiences, because just across the border lived a race of people who existed in a state of chaos without parallel elsewhere. It seemed that the whole kingdom was upside down. All the people went about their business in ungovernable confusion, and they bustled about pell-mell. The migration of some was accompanied by festivity and unrestrained delight, because they believed that where they were headed was the destination of their journey and the source of all joy. However, there were others travelling in the opposite direction, singing and full of delight as well, and they were also convinced that their true destination was the place from which the first ones were quickly fleeing. There was so much confusion and bustle that Bartosek and Joseph were astonished. What a strange kingdom, they said to themselves everybody was hustling and everybody was looking for something. They merged into the crowd and joined a group journeying across the land. The leader of the group, a stout man, was clarifying something to the others all the time, while zealously pointing onwards, as if the happiness and welfare of all was dependent on the direction of this journey. After each speech everyone stepped quickly forward, as if they wanted to reach the destination as soon as possible. Joseph and Bartosek followed the crowd to the best of their ability; but finally they stopped near a brook and allowed these people to continue on their way. The water was encouragingly cooling and the friends refreshed themselves nicely. There was such a flurry all around that no one else had the time to stop and take a rest, as both the friends did. There was a friendly landscape all around, with monumental trees and coloured flowers, and everything produced sweet aromas and offered delectable feelings. Quickly, they decided to stay overnight here, and looked forward to seeing the peep of dawn, with the dew and the amazing awakening of nature that was the daily repeated miracle in this healthy and unspoiled landscape. However, what a surprise was waiting for them when they woke up. The grass was trampled all around and rubbish lay everywhere. Even the brook, yesterday so clean and pure, was now polluted and stinking, while various crowds were all around, enclosed as if into flocks. Each of these flocks had its own flag-bearer who raised a banner and shouted out slogans and commands, and the people responded by applauding and hailing. Commanders and leaders walked at the head of each flock to determine direction, and the crowds followed them. All took their belongings and luggage with them. Suddenly, Joseph shouted at Bartosek: Look! Look over there!

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They saw how one of the flocks had entered an inhospitable and muddy place, and the leaders had climbed on peoples shoulders. They evidently liked this type of travelling so much that hereafter they would probably carry themselves. When the other leaders and commanders saw what was happening, they ordered their crowds into position and also began to climb onto their shoulders. Joseph and Bartosek could not believe their eyes. The flocks of people stumbled into increasingly bad terrain and were forced to move ever slower. However, the commanders and leaders cheered them on with cornets and invited heralds to proclaim slogans encouraging the crowds. When some flocks came too close to others, arguments broke out and people began to abuse each other. Several individuals always went over from one flock to another supposing that this flock would reach its destination earlier than that one. Other people saw that leadership itself was very meritorious, and they assisted their leaders and carried them on their shoulders, until they themselves climbed on the shoulders of others. This resulted in a situation where there were so few bearers, and their burden was so huge, that they could only stand on the spot moving their feet and pretending to be walking. However, the leaders did care about this because they were sitting comfortably, and they nodded in pleasant half vigilance. This kingdom is much more strange than the previous one, shouted Joseph at Bartosek, and they did not cease to marvel at this. Instead, they packed their things and began to walk away from these people whom they did not understand. Then they saw that the flocks had merged into one huge crowd on the top of a hill that towered over the landscape, and dark smoke covered everything. When the smoke cleared, all they could see were dead and leafless trees. Dead bodies lay all around, and the smell of fire hung over the land. The flocks were now encircled by barbed wire, and guards were classifying people into groups. The former leaders were dressed in a way that differed from the dress of the other people. Slogans were declared under the direction of the supreme leader and everybody had to show collective enthusiasm, both the guards and the people inside the enclosure. And finally, over the peoples heads, big letters proclaimed: This shall be the place where peoples dreams came true, where life shall be delightful. Lets get out of here quickly! Bartosek shouted at Joseph. A frightful apprehension had seized his mind. They ran away as fast as they could, without looking back, and when they were finally exhausted they fell to the ground. Lifting up their heads, they noticed that a white-haired old man was sitting in front of a burning fire again. I can see that you dont like paradise, at least as some people would imagine it, said the old man, nodding sagely. The white-haired old-timer looked as if he had come from the other world, and when their eyes settled upon his face all their fears flew away. Everything felt as it had done in former times, as if evil had lost its power before that old man. All bad shall pass away because its roots are in imperfection, and everything has its time, he said in a soothing voice. I will tell you one more story. Once upon a time, a strange peddler roamed through many different countries. As for his age, he was neither old nor young, and his face was hooded, as if he were hiding something. That peddler enjoyed the reputation of being an insane person. People laughed at him behind his back so that he might not see, but despite this he was such a weird character that something emanated out of him, something that many people were afraid of. It was the prodigious apprehension that strong characters sometimes instil in people. That was the reason why the scoffers tongues grew softer and their knees buckled whenever they came into contact with 25

him, even though during his absence they made jokes about his character and laughed at his business. Others tended to avoid him, but even this wasnt effective. That peddler possessed a strange shop. He dealt in something that no one else had ever dealt in before, and probably this was the reason he was reputed to be an insane person: he offered and sold people their fortunes. There are so many people all around the world, each of them with a different fortune, and people nicknamed him Fortune, because nobody knew his real name. Often they larked about and made fun of the fortune- teller: Hey, neighbour, how are you? one would cry. You know, neighbour, life is all about dirty work but thats fortune, another would respond. My fortune wasnt so bad, said someone else. I desired to be rich and indeed I am I have plenty of everything. Yeah, fortune has been generous to me. What was it that the peddler actually dealt in? His merchandise was really quite strange and unusual. He carried it in a bulky bag, together with a set of precious scales that he always hung and calibrated after he came home. After doing this, he would he pull sacks labelled with various names out of the bag, and these were enough to really make one wonder. For example, one was labelled Joy and another one Peace. Another one was called Justice. This one Kindness, and that one Remorse. However, he would also pull other sacks out of a different part of the bag, and these were labelled even more strangely. These sacks were named Avarice and Irresponsibility, also Envy and Hatred. Even Wrath. There were indeed many of these sacks, and it was puzzling how they could all fit into the peddlers bag. Some people approached that strange peddler themselves because they were curious; Fortune visited others in their homes without any invitation at all. He had an excellent memory, and he never addressed or visited anybody twice, and despite the fact that many people didnt normally deal with such merchandise, they never found the courage to send the peddler away. And nobody who Fortune did business with ever left dissatisfied. I dont understand this, cried Joseph, but Bartosek covered his mouth with his hand so that he couldnt interrupt. The old man continued. Once it happened that Fortune knocked on the door of a rich peasant; a poor wench also served there. The peasant wasnt too happy about receiving such a visit, because he had just sat down to eat a delicious white pudding made from stuck-pig. But, as I mentioned before, no one was ever brave enough to send the peddler away. So with bad grace the peasant called on the peddler to come in, but he discreetly hid his plate full of white pudding so that he wouldnt have to offer any to his guest. When Fortune sat down he, as usual he immediately pulled out his scale and began to steady them. After doing this, he turned his hooded face towards the peasant. Well peasant, tell me what you long for. What fortune do you want to have? he asked. But he seemed to know the answer in advance, because he began to pull various sacks out of his bag, full of confidence and without any hesitation. Ha ha, the peasant laughed, money! Who wouldnt wish to have money? Id like to be shockingly rich, Id like to be the richest peasant in the land. I wish that the biggest herds of cattle belonged to me, and also the best fields and pastures. And I also wish, said the peasant, that the farm over there, which belongs to my neighbour, and he pointed through the window, was not flourishing. I wish for its winter crop to be burnt by frost, and I wish that my neighbours chestnut horse, which people come from afar to see, would die. Then, he briefly laughed, all the spectacle and malice would be over.

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In the meantime, Fortune had placed on the scales a weight labelled Richness, and this he balanced with the contents of various sacks. He placed Envy there, but he didnt forget Irresponsibility, Avarice, Greed and the others. Finally, the needle in the middle of the scales stabilized. Youve got it, said Fortune, cleaning the bowls of the scales. And what about you, he addressed the poor wench. Dont you want to have money too? Shall richness always be balanced with such ugly characteristics? questioned the girl. Yes, generally always. If I add, for example, Kindness nothing shall remain of richness, because its owner will give everything away. In that case, I dont want richness, said the wench resolutely. The peasant laughed and tapped his forehead with a finger to demonstrate that the girl had no intelligence. Fortune, however, just nodded. This I appreciate, he said, because richness alone will not bring joy and delight to people. Joy, I would like to have joy, shouted the wench. The peddler rooted around deep in his bag and pulled out sacks labelled: Love, Kindness, Goodness, Quietness, Gentleness, Tolerance, Patience, Fidelity and Self-control. After some time, the peddler continued on his way. The peasant who had asked for Richness found no satisfaction, for his heart had become as hard as stone. He had neither wife nor friends, while all his servants had deserted him because of mistreatment. The peasant could find no pleasure in his property instead, it brought him limitless trouble. There was nobody to cultivate the fields, which lay fallow, and the cattle in his stables were sick due to lack of care. In a simple cottage, however, not far from his place, the former serving wench lived with a good husband and a bunch of kids, and Fortune, when he walked past, could hear the merry sounds of children playing. With satisfaction he bundled himself up in his long coat, and disappeared with his merchandise into the autumn night. The old man finished his story, and it seemed to both friends, Joseph and Bartosek, that they had begun to understand what was important in life: all their suffering would be meaningless if it wasnt crowned with experience and understanding. Tell me, old man, how is it possible that you know the secrets of life? asked the astonished Joseph, reflecting meanwhile upon all that he had told them. Im an old man, he responded. I have travelled through life and recognized its laws, which are eternal, and now I understand that it is impossible to ignore or cheat them. I didnt need to travel anywhere else to look for knowledge, as you two have done youth is restless and seeks itself throughout the world. It tries to move the solid ground of natural law, not knowing that this law didnt originate by chance, but was laid down in times of old. But go now you havent reached your journeys end yet. As the old man concluded his speech, they bade him goodbye and hit the road. But after walking for some time they came to a crossroad, with one way leading to the right, the other to the left, and as they were deciding which direction to take they noticed that there was a fellow snoozing on the ground. Lets ask him where these roads lead to, suggested Joseph, and shook the sleeper. Hey, my good man, he said, please tell us where these roads lead.

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First of all, Im not a good man, said the fellow as he woke up. Does this mean youre a bad man? asked Joseph in disbelief. Neither am I bad. But, if you choose to see it this way, then Im bad and good simultaneously. Nobody, not even I, knows whether Im more bad and less good, or more good and less bad. Its possible, and he took a moment to think, that Im bad amongst bad people and good amongst good people. And what sort of people are you? he addressed the friends. People say that were of pure hearts, answered Bartosek. Well, then, I have no choice and I shall be good instead of bad. said the awakened sleeper. Were friends, and were travelling around the world, explained Joseph. This is Bartosek and Im Joseph. And what, might I ask, is your name? I have no name. Nevertheless, if I am to have a name, perhaps you could call me Somebody. This would be the best. You really have no name? wondered Joseph. I dont need to have one, because I dont want to deceive anybody. I dont understand this, said Bartosek, and the friends sat down closer to Somebody so that he might explain the puzzle. A name can only be given to somebody, or to something, that doesnt change. Earth can be named Earth because it doesnt change it exists and has always existed. Things and animals, the life-spans of which are limited by time and nature, can have only arbitrary names, and this is justified. Dog, horse, human. All things and beings originate in time, and after the short period of their lives they cease to exist. And as for humans, their situation is even more complicated. Throughout his life, a human being changes in every respect. First he is born; then he is a suckling, a child, an adult and finally an old man. And each of these periods bestows upon him a different appearance. Have you ever noticed how the hand of a child differs from the hand of an old man? Try telling anybody that these hands are the same they wont believe it until you explain it to them verbally. Then there are the aspects of a human being that are invisible: his mind, his heart and his emotions. At the time of his origin, the human doesnt know anything. Later he deals with insubstantial issues, through which he begins to learn, and later still he might even reach a certain level of knowledge. And then he forgets it all, and finally ends up not knowing anything again. He is volatile and unsteady. The name assigned to him is misleading. It confuses anyone who identifies the name with the person a friend, for example, who leaves and returns again later. Because of this name, which the friend remembers, the age, shape, thinking and sentiments of the person he left behind are recalled. But time has moved on and it is another person, unfamiliar and strange, who now responds to that name. In this way names mislead and lie. After each change, even the least substantial, humans should really receive a different name if, of course, a name is necessary at all. Or and this would be more correct he should be given a number instead of a name. Everything should have its own number: emotions, ideas, age and shape. Then, whenever a change in appearance occurs, that number or its fraction could be modified. In this way, a man would be able to recognise a particular person standing in front of him, but would also be able to tell that this person had grown older and turned into a villain. Or, perhaps, a law-abiding citizen. Everything would be clear, then, and people would make sure they had a nice number. There should be no names until this time only arbitrary labels at the most. I renounced my name, so as not to deceive anybody. And how about you? he questioned the two surprised friends. Where are you going? 28

Were travelling around the world and learning about life, answered Bartosek. Thats a journey that has no end, said Somebody. Well tell us, at least, where these two roads lead, demanded Joseph. The left way leads to the Kingdom of Joy, and the right one will take you to the Kingdom of Sorrow. Then why you dont go to the Kingdom of Joy? asked Bartosek. I cant, replied Somebody. There is no intellect in the Kingdom of Joy, and foolishness governs the country. It drives people to be cheerful they rejoice without reason or sense and their happiness is empty and stupid. Then why dont you teach wisdom to the people in the Kingdom of Joy ? If I were to do so, Somebody sighed, the Kingdom of Joy would be transformed into the Kingdom of Sorrow. Under the influence of wisdom joy becomes bitter and changes into reasonable sorrow. Well, why dont you go to the Kingdom of Sorrow and teach your wisdom there? Sorrow doesnt wish to listen to Wisdom, because Sorrow deals only with itself my words would fall on deaf ears. And eventually Sorrow would defeat Wisdom and make of it its own instrument. Because of the peril endangering my freedom, I dont want to live in either of these kingdoms. The inhabitants of these lands used to be like you are now: they rambled throughout the world looking for answers to the questions of life. Some took the left way; the others went to the right. The first group of people ended up crazy they celebrated worthlessness and superficial things. The others lost all sense of meaning in their lives, and moaned in despair over the futility of the human condition. So wisdom is for nothing, said Bartosek sadly. Which way will you choose? asked Somebody. Wed rather go back to our own world. Weve seen and heard enough to learn that there is no point in going onwards, reflected Bartosek. To be wise, a man doesnt have to wander throughout the whole world. Its only necessary for him to learn continuously, and to explore the life he finds around him. He must search for meaning and purpose in the things that are revealed to him, while trying to understand everything. It is necessary to examine the higher order of the world, which remains hidden to most people. However, be aware that the least happy people are those who have devoted themselves to wisdom, concluded Somebody sadly. And sorrowful are also those who agreed to a binding promise which they never kept, he added with a hidden reproach. Bartosek and Joseph hung their heads, recalling their promise to the Rat King which they hadnt fulfilled. However, their hunger for home was stronger than their shame, and they began looking for the stick marked with a green ribbon that would show them the way to the iron door. Do you regret the time we spent here? asked Joseph of Bartosek, but the latter only shook his head. I just want to be on the way back to earth as soon as possible.

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After some time, and when it seemed that they had definitely lost their way, Joseph noticed a medium sized tree. At the top of it was fixed a similar ribbon to the one they had tied around a stick so long ago. In the course of a more thorough examination, they learned that the stick had become rooted and had grown into a tree. The ribbon was weather-bleached and ragged. The important thing, however, was that it showed them which way to go, and before long they had found the iron door buried under a pile of sand. Once they had removed the sand, they were able to open the door quite easily, and stepping inside they again found themselves inside the old rotten tree from which they had first entered this strange world. It was dark and gloomy inside; only a faint light was shining high above their heads. It was easy getting down, but how we can climb back up? Joseph asked Bartosek. Suddenly they saw a pair of yellow eyes watching them carefully. Do you want go upwards? squawked a birdlike voice. Yes, we wed like to get up there, but we don't know how, confessed Bartosek. And what about the promise you gave to the Rat King? Bartosek and Joseph were ashamed. Give me that yellow plum that fell inside the lining of your coat. Joseph put a hand into his pocket and, sure enough, there he found a plum that had fallen through a small hole into the corner of the lining. Here you are, take it, he said, offering the fruit to Yellow Eyes. His hands were shaking as he recalled his recent frightful experiences, but as the yellow eyes came towards him, someone took the plum carefully out of his hand. I have great power, came a voice, and I can fulfil your promise for you. But only on condition that as from today you will always keep your word. At this moment in time, Joseph and Bartosek would have promised anything to Yellow Eyes in order to get back home. But both of them realised the importance of their obligation, and this was the main reason they agreed to give their consent. Suddenly the yellow eyes began to grow in size, so much so that they were intimidating, but simultaneously both men were carried towards the bright hole at the top of the tree. When finally they were standing on firm ground once more, they saw a strange bird flapping its wings in the tree-top. It was the giant owl that they had already encountered, but after receiving the magic plum its eyes were big and glowing, like two hot cinders. They breathed a sigh of relief when the bird disappeared. However, now that they were again standing on solid ground, they began to feel that this bird had somehow brought new hope to them. Even this inhospitable place didnt seem to be so horrifying, because of the intimate sensation of home which prevailed. And soon they would be returning after a long and troublesome journey that had been full of unusual events. As they stepped forward, they were full of good resolutions to use everything they had learned for the benefit of the world: they would never support the evil acts of any cruel sovereign who, in his greed for power, would pollute the water and the earth and enslave its inhabitants. They walked in silence, but they were thinking of the old man who had been their guide throughout their journey, and who had turned their minds in the direction of knowledge and an understanding of life. And what each of them could now bring to the earth as his great secret consisted of this binding recognition: promises must be fulfilled because they are based on trust and expectation. Both resolved that this message from the underground kingdom would never be forgotten. 30

So let us wish them well and hope that the goodwill and sincerity of their hearts will help them stick to their resolutions.

There is a bridge in the forest

... and the priest began to read: "Be courageous! Be honest!" And he realized that has to begin - to live courageously, to live honestly. To live courageously, to live honestly. Ale Pech: The Immort

How does deceased Tom Hrach write in one of his socio-critical poems? The era does not require words but gin*. It seems to me that also The Fairy Journey of Eduard Vacek (1947) comes from the same era. In the beginning this may look like an everyday post-modern remix, prollage of not admitted loans, quotations and paraphrases that entirely cover invention of author's subject; the very first moments that couple of young adventurers, Joseph and Bartosek, are living through in the fairy world inside the rotten tree, they noticeably remind Werich's Fimfrum, Carrols Alice in the Land behind the Mirror or contemporary comics Pilgrimage of Vlas and Brady of Frantiek Skla! And this represents a doubled surprise for Vacek's readers, because: where has all the poetry of the strange gone, the underground river that one may see, but which immediately disappears as soon as one desires to walk on its surface? Where have pillars of Vacek's previous fictions and poetries gone? Obsession to look for absurd moments of human existence in the world, Kundera's dizziness of the abyss of the universe lying between man and woman? Vacek has usually presented as the pataphysician, but more intensively than Jarry's persiflage at the edge of the knife, dada is close to him, I guess, smoothly smiling lips of a little sad clown - but in The Journey? None of this. Just "the evil atmosphere" and "the deathly flavour " and the promise that "wed keep on going forwards, and that we wouldnt be afraid of any kind of danger". Joseph and Bartosek are wandering through a landscape and despite the fact they are going through villages where brides are baked of bread dough, and the stumpy hobbit changes Joseph's legs for roots disappears laughing in the nearest bush, still there is a dubiety flying over their steps. "Am I crazy to attract such perverted scenes?" Therefore, no zest of the world where one walks on hands, of the world behind the mirror, but factual fear and Kierkegaard's anxiety. However, do not let us to forget time and situation in the course of which Vacek's fairy tale was written: thirty nine years old pataphysician sat behind bars and those "serious" letters, which he wrote from Pardubice to his wife and daughters to Teplice were ceased by the censorship. That was why began to write an ideologically unobjectionable fairy tale to be continued. But, if continue reading, between lines, we can see that this writing has its "defects", it is completely "defective" - in fact. Or better said: it represents a sophisticated code, secret writing, a kerchief over eyes of innocent stupidity. In his Journey and by means of classic fairy tale motives Vacek demonstrates relativity of all categories, fixed truths and completed world views: he impeaches definitions of good and evil, beauty and ugliness, ups and downs, hell and paradise. He is rather more transcendental than knowledgeable, therefore
*

An untranslatable quibble. In Czech language gin has almost the same pronunciation as in the action. This way the meaning of well-known slogan The era does nor require words but actions has completely been changed exactly within the meaning of pataphysics.

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pregnant and intelligible post-modern philosopher the approach of whom takes its own from Bataille, Derrid, Foucalt, Fromm. Transgression, de-construction, normality, explicitness, and additionally the painful cognition that knowledge is painful and makes the soul sad those are keystones of Vaceks conception on the way. The author sublimates his anxiety of external lack of freedom through an impeachment: with the pen in his hand he transforms himself into a demiurge that creates a landscape sui generis with words, and for himself above all. There every one is absolutely free. There every one may speak loudly. Suddenly a bridge is emerging from the fog getting thin over the fairy scenery, over which Joseph and Bartosek are entering the world of pure Platos ideas, the world without dogmas and pseudomessianism. However: will they really cross that bridge? Will they not lose their way again in the fog? At the close of the fairy tale, before the return to the metal plate door, the couple of Londons astral ramblers talks: Were travelling around the world and learning about life Thats a journey that has no end. Neither the Vaceks fairy tale has any end in the form of some final instructions. And so it is better, because the least happy people are those who have devoted themselves to wisdom.

Radim Kop

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