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Writing

Sample
Introduction to

MCAT Essay Composition

Essay Topic Statements For Writing Practice Essays


Sample Essays With Commentary

BERKELEY
.L/r-e*vie-w
Specializing in MCAT Preparation

ERKELEY
E
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Writing Sample

Contents
Introduction to MCAT Essay Composition
The MCAT Writing Sample
How to Use This Manual

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9
9

What You May Not Know about the MCAT Writing Sample
Origins

9
9

What the Writing Sample is Designed to Assess Topics for Writing Sample Essays How the Writing Sample is Structured: A Brief Overview Grading of MCAT Writing Samples
Scoring
Description of Point Scale
What Does All of This Mean?

9 10 10 11
12
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What You Already Know: Essays

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The Writing Assignment


"It is Always Wrong to Lie."
Task One: Explain what you think the statement means.

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Task Two: Describe a specific situation in which it might not be wrong to lie.

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TaskThree: Discuss what you thinkdetermines whether it is ever wrong to lie.

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Preparation for the Writing Sample


Practice

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HI

Contents

Essay Topic Statements for Writing Practice Essays


Instructions

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/.
//.

"That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number."
The role of a scientist is to explain the natural world, not to impart values.

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33

///.
IV. V.
VI.

The only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals revenge."
Journalists should always be strictly objective. Freedom of expression should be absolute.
Limited terms of office would make elected officials more accountable to those
who elect them.

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41 45
49

VII.
VIII.

Governing with the consent of the governed is more effective than governing
by decree.

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57

Health care is a right, not a privilege.

IX.
X.
XI

The responsibility of public education is to teach skills, rather than values.


The mass media have a duty to cover all sides of a news story.
"A liar should have a good memory."

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65
69

XII.
XIII.
XIV.

The person who buys pornography harms no one by doing so.


One has an obligation to report the irregular behavior of a coworker to a supervisor.
"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil."

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81

XV.
XVI.

Killing is never justified.


A good citizen votes in every election.

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89

XVII.

The price of something will not always reflect its value.

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XVIII. Violence in films is unnecessary for making an artistic statement.

XIX.
XX.

Freedom is the greatest desire of every individual.


"The secret to being a bore is to tell everything."

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105

IV

Contents

Sample Essays with Commentary


Sample Essays
I. "A good citizen votes in every election."
Commentary

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\ \[
113
114

//.

"The only argument for capital punishment is that 'justice equalsrevenge'."


Commentary

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117 120 121

///.

"The true test of courage is not to die, but to live." Commentary

IV.

"The goal of our legal system should be to administer due process under the law, not justice."
Commentary

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123

V.

"Art, like science, is more process than product."


Commentary

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126 128
129

VI.

"The price of something will not always reflect its value."


Commentary

VII.

"That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number."
Commentary

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132

Introduction to
MCAT

Essay Composition

BERKELEY
AJr-e-v-i^e-w
Specializing in MCAT Preparation

The MCAT Writing Sample


How to use this manual

This manual is designed to focus on the particular requirements of the MCAT Writing Sample and not on general writing technique. We have designed this manual with the assumption that your writing ability is already good. If you feel your writing skills are a problem, we recommend that you take a writing class or get a textbook to teach yourself, preferably a textbook that is used in introductory writing courses at the college level. Study that book in conjunction with this manual. If you feel that your problem lies more in the realm of building sound, logical arguments, we suggest that you find a rhetoric textbook to help you develop your skills of argumentation. The best way to choose a textbook like this is to find out which ones are used by college rhetoric departments. Whatever books you decide you need in addition to this manual, they will not replace the information here, which is designed specifically with the demands of the MCAT Writing Sample in mind.

What you may not know about the MCAT Writing Sample
Origins

The MCAT Writing Sample evolved out of a recommendation in 1973 that a test of written communication skills be required for medical school applicants, as i t grew increasingly evident to medical school admission committees across the country that analytical and writing skills were becoming deficient among students and that committee members should therefore emphasize the importance of these skills in the competitive admissions process. The Writing

History of the MCAT Writing Sample.

Sample was introduced into the MCAT in 1991 after six years of research and development. Its purpose was-and still is-to provide admission committees with evidence of an applicant's thinking and written communication skills under timed conditions, beyond his or her powers of recognition and recall, which are adequately tested in the science portions of the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT). This section of the MCAT thus offers information about an applicant that other sections of the test cannot offer. Beginning in 2007, the Writing Sample format was converted from two handwritten essays to two essays typed on a computer keyboard.

What the Writing Sample is designed to assess


According to the Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC), which
administers the MCAT, the thirty-minute essay compositions of the MCAT are

designed to assess the applicant's abilities to "develop a central thesis, synthesize concepts and ideas, present ideas cohesively and logically, and write clearly following accepted practices of grammar, syntax, and punctuation consistent with timed, first-draft composition."
The central thesis expressed in an essay topic statement (or "prompt") establishes the main idea to be developed in the three assigned tasks of the essay. The goal of the MCAT Writing Sample essay is to work toward an understanding of what the topic statement means, where its limits are, and how it can be applied to real situations: When should one's freedom of expression be absolute, and when should it be restrained? To what extent is technology a benefit or a curse? Is good journalism always strictly objective-and if not, under what conditions might it be subjective? This is not the same as arguing whether
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the thesis expressed in the topic statement is true-which is to say, MCAT Writing Sample essays are not examples of advocacy writing (arguing to support or challenge a central thesis). Your ability to synthesize concepts and ideas refers to how well you put thoughts together, which is a measure of the reasonableness and creativity of your thinking. Related to this ability to synthesize concepts and ideas is the ability to present ideas cohesively (meaning that they hold together in a harmonious way) and logically (meaning that they flow smoothly, without gaps and in an ordered sequence, leading necessarily to a conclusion that is consistent with and derived from your original premises).

Finally, the MCAT Writing Sample assesses your ability to write English clearly. Clarity is the hallmark of all good writing and the bedrock of unambiguous communication. Clear writing not only exhibits your facility with

language and a personal style; it also helps get your thoughts across effectively. The rules of good writing-including good grammar and punctuation (and good spelling, meaning at the minimum no spelling errors that obscure your intended meaning)-are designed to help the communication process. If you do not use them properly, your writing becomes difficult for others to understand. For medical students, those "others" may one day include medical colleagues, patients, the general public via the mass media, and those who review grant
proposals to fund medical research.

Topics for Writing Sample essays


The AAMC selects Writing Sample topics from a broad range of subjects: business, politics, history, art, education, and ethics, among many others. Essay topics do not address the factual content of scienceor anything about the medical school application process. You will not be asked to give your reasons for wanting to go to medical school or for becoming a doctor. You will not be asked to write about subjects that are not generally accessible to the average college student, or that involve religion or other emotionally charged issues. This does not mean that you may not talk about religious or emotional issues in your treatment of the topic, but it is never required. No detailed prior knowledge about a topic is necessary to complete the Writing Sample, although a breadth of knowledge and experience about it provides the writer with a greater appreciation for the subtleties of the topic statement and its applicability to real situations. Breadth also gives you more to write about in more interesting ways, and more examples. Therefore, we recommend that you read from a wide variety of sources
and subjects when preparing for the test.

How the Writing Sample is structured: The Three Tasks


MCAT Writing Sample test items consist of topic statements, each of which express what can be considered as a normative rule: an opinion about an abstract

The three tasks of every MCAT Writing Sample essay.

concept (e.g., art, human rights, justice), a policy (e.g., censorship, capital punishment), or an institution (e.g., democratic government), or a recommended way of thinking about people and their behavior (e.g., lying, violent revolution). You are asked to satisfy three tasks pertaining to this topic statement. Make sure that you read the exact zvording of each task in the instructions listed after the prompt. Do not assume that you know specifically what you are being asked to write just because you understand the three tasks in
a general sense.

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First, you are asked to explain what you think the topic statement means. A solid approach to Task #1 combines a paraphrase of the statement, a definition of the key term or phrase you will need to develop the central thesis, and a proexample to illustrate how you interpret the prompt. You are not required to do all of these things, and we strongly discourage you from trying to define every word in the prompt. Also, you are not required by the instructions to write an introductory thesis paragraph at the beginning (or a summarizing paragraph a t the end) of your MCAT Writing Sample essay, though some students choose to do this as a holdover from the way they were taught to write essays in highschool writing classes.
Second, you are asked to describe a specific situation in which the topic statement might not be true (i.e., an exceptional instance or instances in which
the rule that is expressed in universal terms in the prompt might be ignored by reasonable people). You must describe a specific counter-example-taken from the pages of history, fictional works, news reports, or personal experiencethat contradicts the rule in the topic statement. In Task #2, you can provide thoughts that further explore the meaning of the topic statement, especially in terms of its limitations, and build upon the concepts you started with in Task #1.

Third, you are asked to define the criterion (a guideline or standard of judgment) that may help establish the conditions under which the rule in the topic statement applies or does not apply. How can the conflict between the original statement as you interpreted it in Task #1 and your counter-example in Task #2 be resolved? How can these two viewpoints be reconciled reasonably and comprehensively, without advocating one at the expense of the other? In Task #3, the MCAT graders expect you to apply what you have developed in the first two tasks to a more general conception of the issue presented by the topic statement. When you have completed this final task, a reader of your essay should be able to apply the guideline you have derived to any similar hypothetical situation that he or she might imagine about the topic.

Grading of MCAT Writing Samples


The most important thing to know about how the MCAT readers grade the essays is that the writing is evaluated holistically. Each essay is looked at as a whole, not as an assemblage of pieces. You do not get a standard number of points for fulfilling each of the three tasks, and then so many more for grammar, spelling, development, organization, or content. The designers of the Writing Sample believe that an essay is an entirety that should not be separated into its constituent parts for the purposes of grading. The assumption underlying this view is that the different aspects of writing are so interrelated that essays must be judged on the quality of writing as a whole. What this means for you as a test-taker is that you should think of the essay as a unit. Make sure that you do not have any weaknesses that might bring your whole score down. But also know that your strengths can balance your weaknesses. What ultimately matters is how clear, logical, and reasonable your argument is. You can evaluate your own writing by judging how effective it is in those three dimensions and whether you answered all three tasks. If your essay is effective and compelling, then it is going to get a good score, because all of the aspects of good writing are present.
Historically, Writing Sample essays have been graded by a group of trained readers who may be experienced writers, editors, or writing teachers. This method of grading may change under the new computer-based testing format; but

Holistic scoring.

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AAMC has not yet (2007) signaled its intention of altering the number of essays in the MCAT Writing Sample or the number of readers who will grade it.

Expressing personal opinions in your


essays.

Two readers evaluate each essay. And since the Writing Sample consists of two essays, a total of four readers is involved. Each pair of readers is responsible for grading the essay written about only one topic. The readers are instructed to score each essay on the basis of the writing skills displayed and not to judge the writer's personality, attitudes, or beliefs. This means that you may express any personal opinions or thoughts that you would like, and as long as you support those opinions with strong, valid written arguments, you will be scored on the strength of your writing and not on the slant of your ideas. We recommend, however, that you be selective about what you write in your essay. The MCAT is no place to take unnecessary chances, and you don't want to alienate anybody. Besides, if you receive no credit for sharing your opinions, why use up valuable time to write them out? On the other hand, if you feel strongly about an issue, you often have more interesting thoughts about it and can express them more powerfully. Writing in the first person and using personal experiences as examples are both permitted in Writing Sample essays.

Remember that the three tasks that you are graded on ask you to explain a point of view and then to compare it impartially with the opposing point of view,
without advocating either one. Thus, spending a lot of time to defend one side or

the other, justbecause it coincides with your opinions about the matter, is using
time in a way that could lower your score.

Since the essay is a timed exercise, it is assumed that you will make some minor mistakes. The readers are instructed to be lenient with errors that they judge have been made because of time constraints. This does not mean that they will ignore mistakes, especially if you consistently make the same ones. It means only
that in a timed exercise, a few mistakes are unavoidable and therefore should

not have a major impacton your grade. Readers do not score on any kind of curve
or use a standard distribution. Each essay is graded on its own merits.
Scoring

Essays are graded in terms of their overall effectiveness. Scores are determined

by the complexity of thought exhibited in your writing, how well your argument holds together, the clarity with which your thoughts are expressed, and how far you develop yourideas. Length is not a primary concern, as long as the ideas
in your essay are effectively developed. Good writers, however, tend to write
more than less skilled writers.

An essay mustbe written in the best typed English you can manage. This is not the place for dropped letters, noncapitalized proper nouns, and hunt-and-peck finger workat the keyboard! Also, youressay must be a writtencomposition that conforms to conventional ideas of a written argument. The MCAT graders will not accept alternative (non-essay) forms of exposition, such as drawings, poems, or other bizarre experiments. If any essay you submit is deemed "Not Ratable," your letter grade for the Writing Sample will be X. Both essays must be appropriate for the assignment. Both essays are factored into your grade. Each reader scoresthe essay using a six-point scale, with 6 as the highest score and 1 as the lowest. If the two readers for a single essay assign scores that are more than one point apart (i.e., a 2 and a 4), then the essay is given to a third
reader who determines the final score.

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Each Writing Sample is scored by at least four readers. Two score the first essay and two the second. The scores of all readers are summed and can range from 4 to 24. This numerical score is converted to an alphabetical grade on an 11-letter scale ranging from a low of J to a high of T. Different combinations of numerical scores contributed by the readers can produce the same alphabetical grade.

Below Average

Average

Above Average

Description of the point scale

A six shows clarity, depth, and complexity of thought. The assignment is treated coherently and major ideas are substantially developed. Language facility is evident.
A five shows clarity of thought with some depth and complexity, but less than in a six. The assignment is generally coherently treated and focused, and major ideas are well developed. Strong control of language is apparent.
A four shows clarity of thought and may have some depth or complexity. The treatment of the assignment is coherent, with some focus. Major ideas are adequately developed, with an adequate control of language. A three may have some problems with clarity, complexity, and depth of thought. The treatment of the writing assignment could have problems with integration or coherence and with insufficient development of major ideas. Errors in mechanics, usage, or sentence structure are evident. A two has the same problems as a three, only worse. Poor focus, little clarity or complexity, and more errors. Major ideas may receive scant attention.

A one indicates by its serious deficiencies in organization and development of major ideas that the writer probably did not understand the writing assignment. There may be such excessive numbers of errors in mechanics, usage, or sentence structure that the writer's ideas are hard to follow.

What does all of this mean?

Each score level on the point scale addresses the same criteria of clarity, depth, and complexity of thought. Your Writing Sample essay is judged by how well you can express good thinking about the essay topic. Depth of analysis, complexity of ideas, and clarity of expression all add together to constitute what might be called the cognitive or intellectual aspect of the essay. Clarity is the most valued attribute in good essay writing style. Clarity refers to clearness of expression-the ability to choose the right words for the right task. Your words should reveal the complex structures between ideas, and they should help to remove ambiguity wherever it clouds a clear understanding of those ideas. 11 is said that the fundamental rule of good manners for a host is to make your guests feel at ease; the first rule of clearly expressing your ideas as a writer is to make yourself understood to the reader.
Coherence refers to the way things cohere or stick together like grains of rice; focus refers to the common direction of argumentative intent. Do you stay on the
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Clarity, depth, and complexity of thought.

Coherence

and

focus.

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topic or wander off onto tangents? How well does everything you write relate to the main point of the argument? Everything you write should add to that development. Everything you put on the page should serve a purpose; otherwise, you are only adding confusion and detracting from the clarity of your argument.

Strong development of ideas makes them easier to apply to your argument, thus strengthening it as a whole. When you make a point, ask yourself if your idea is somehow deficient. Can it be developed further in some important way? Can a reader ask himself or herself: "Why is this here? What does it mean? What about this other aspect?" If so, you have more work to do.
Facility with language is also important. The greater your mastery of the written idiom, the better you will be at expressing your ideas. Finding the right word and applying proper rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation allow you to be more precise at getting your point across.

What you already know: Essays


Generally, we think of an essay (at least, the kind of essay required of you for the Writing Sample) as a written argument, a statement of opinion or position regarding a certain issue. Interestingly, the Latin root of the word "argument" is arguere, which means "to prove, assert, or make clear." Good argument is the process of asserting thoughts clearly. You must be able to think clearly-and on
the MCAT you need to be able to do this within a time constraint. You must be

able to communicate that thinking effectively in good written English. If this sounds intimidating, it shouldn't. All of us, regardless of our education or social background, already know how to construct sophisticated and convincing
arguments. Some of us just don't realize that we have these skills.
The everyday character of making arguments.

Hardly a day passes without the need to generate an argument You might be explaining to a car dealer why he should lower his price, or complaining to your parents about how they interfere in your personal life, or convincing your roommate to watch your TV show instead of his. Explaining, complaining, convincing-these are all forms used in essays, which depend upon your ability to think clearly and quickly and to communicate that thinking effectively through language, logic, and reason. You practice the art of argumentation everyday, and the better you are at it, the more often you get your own way.

Your ability to get your thoughts across to others determines not only how successful you are in getting what you want and influencing others, but also allows you to form social relationships based on mutual understanding and communication. The style of arguing found in essays is a foundation of human
interaction. It defines an important method we all use to relate to one another. When we write an essay or make an argument, we are participating in a social discussion. In argument, there is always an audience or reader. With respect to the MCAT, you might fear the reader, whom you may imagine to be a hypercritical, fault-finding sourpuss, waiting to punish you with a big red pen. Get rid of that image; it can only distract you from doing your best!

The essay as an imaginary


conversation that written out.
is

Think of your reader as a regular person-a reasonable person like yourself--and think of your essay as you would any presentation of your thoughts. Don't try to impress the reader with fancy language. Write in your normal tone of voice, and imagine the reader responding conversationally to your arguments. Try to anticipate where a reader might have trouble with your arguments. Do you justify your claims by giving reasons or evidence that support them? Are your
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points clear and easy to understand? In practice, you should read your essay out loud and listen to your writing. This is always a valuable experience. Your ear is often the best writing teacher, because you know what sounds right. In writing essays, you must be concerned with developing clear thoughts and presenting them to your reader. To be persuasive, good writing must be both logical (meaning that it is consistent and progresses by rules toward a necessary conclusion) and reasonable (meaning that it does not violate common sense, intuition, or experience). Logic and reasonableness provide structure to thought as it develops in your mind. Another important source of structure is the standard three-task format required by the designers of the Writing Sample. Boiled down to its bare bones, an MCAT Writing Sample essay consists of a topic statement with a central thesis, your supporting evidence for that thesis and for a counter-argument to it, and an explanatory resolution. The thesis states the reason for the essay; it is the subject of the composition, the main point that is to be argued. Next is the presentation of evidence and arguments in support of the thesis and against it. This is a critical stage in the construction of an essay, because the stronger your evidence, the stronger the argument. When choosing evidence, be sure that it supports your claims for either side and helps to illustrate your contentions as effectively as possible. The closer your evidence is to your point, the harder it is for a reader to disagree with you.

Read practice essays aloud.

Of equal importance is the framework within which the evidence is presented. You must ensure that the bearing of your evidence on your arguments is apparent.
You must also make sure that the reader understands why you think that the

evidence is so compelling. It is not enough merely to present a bit of evidence and then leave it up to the reader to decide how it applies to the thesis. You must explicitly demonstrate to the reader your reasons for using the evidence you have presented.

Now that you understand the basic parts of an argumentative essay, you can look at the practicalities of applying what you know to the requirements of the MCAT. The MCAT provides you with a very specific form to follow in your writing. It is really quite simple, more like a "fill-in-the-blank" exercise than a true composition, since all you need to do is satisfy the three tasks that the MCAT assigns to you. And the MCAT does the work of choosing your thesis for you. Just apply your mental and writing abilities to the exploration of that thesis. The only difference between an MCAT essay and something you might
write for a writing class is that your job on the Writing Sample is to create an

argument that explores and balances the various implications of the statement rather than to make an argument one way or the other about the statement's validity. Do not argue toward a conclusion that is either completely for or against the opinion expressed in the topic statement. The MCAT Writing Sampleis designed so that you are forced to think flexibly and creatively about a topic, exploring meanings and limitations of that topic and looking at both sides of the issue. It is not designed to provide you with an opportunity merely to
express your personal opinions about the topic sentence.

The MCAT Writing Sample as an

exploration of ideas.

Sometimes, students feel that they have done poorly in their execution of a Writing Sample essay, because the final product seems "too wishy-washy." Most often, this feeling arises from the way that most of us were taught to argue through the medium of the essay in high-school and college writing classes-namely, advocacy-style writing, where "winning the argument" is everything. It can be difficult to unlearn this habit of thought, but read the instructions on
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the essay topic statement page carefully. They do not direct you to defend or attack the rule expressed in the statement, or to "argue to a conclusion." There are standardized tests where those are the instructions for writing an essay, but at the present time (2007), the MCAT is not one of them.

Briefly, the Writing Sample asks you to interpret a topic statement by exploring your thoughts on what the statement means. After you have performed this exploration of meaning, you must think of a specific example where the statement does not necessarily apply. In this second part you are, in effect, presenting evidence that refutes the universal validity of the statement and thereby limits its applicability by defining a case in which the rule in the
statement is not reasonable. You continue to define limits to the statement in

Task #3. However, instead of coming up with more specific examples where the statement does not apply, you must determine the criterion that defines the range within which the statement generally can be applied. This guideline can be stated negatively, as in the second task, but it is a good idea to present something positive that demonstrates occasions where the statement is applicable and why this is so. Identify a determining factor that establishes when the topic sentence applies as a general rule in understanding situations of a certain kind, and when it does not apply to other, exceptional situations. The essay thus takes the original topic statement and then challenges and redefines it in such a way that the reader knows more precisely what the topic statement means. Along the way, the reader has also learned about the qualities of your analytical thought process as a writer. The important thing to learn from what we have been discussing is that the MCAT is doing some of your work for you by dictating the structure of your composition. As you practice writing MCAT essays, you will familiarize yourself with their three-part structure, so the style will become second nature.

The Writing Assignment


Let's look now to the MCAT Writing Sample itself. Though they deal with many different topics, MCAT essay items take the following general form:
It is always wrong to lie.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which it might not be wrong to lie. Discuss what you think determineswhether it is ever wrong to lie.
The simplest approach to structuring the MCAT essay for beginners.

The first thing to notice about this assignment is that it asks us for a unified essay. You are not just writing answers to three separate questions here, but creating a composition that manages to address the three tasks in a cohesive way. Each task that you address is structurally and logically linked to the other two tasks. No part of your essay stands alone. Your argument develops and evolves as you movefromone task to the next, gaining depth and complexity as it develops. Butjust as you don't want to write three mini-essays, you also don't want to write one huge paragraph with no obvious separations between the three tasks. The simplest approach we can recommend is to write an essay that consists of three paragraphs. Each paragraph addresses one task, in order, and is connected through transitional phrases and themes to the other parts of the essay. Thus, your first paragraph addresses the task of exploring what you think the statement means. The second describes specific situations when the statement might not be true. And the third paragraph discusses what
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determines the conditions under which the rule in the essay topic statement applies. This structure of three paragraphs is not a hard-and-fast rule. In fact, essays by the most experienced, creative, and ambitious writers usually do exceed three paragraphs in the Writing Sample. You can write as many paragraphs as you like, and you are not limited to executing the assigned writing tasks in 1-2-3 order. But your job is greatly simplified if you do follow this pattern.

Task One: Explain what you think the statement means.


The first task can be somewhat disconcerting. Faced with a thirty-minute time limit and the other pressures of the MCAT, many test-takers suffer from "brainfreeze." This is not the same phenomenon that occurs when you eat too much ice cream! Rather, it is more psychological than physiological and results in a temporary loss of all thinking and analytical ability. Time seems to fly by at an accelerated rate, pulses skyrocket, underarms become damp, and an unpleasant chemical reaction seems to occur in the general vicinity of the lunch you just finished eating. It is a thoroughly disagreeable experience. Fortunately, there are ways to prepare for Task #1 that will provide you with strategies to avoid
the dreaded brain-freeze.

Generally, brain-freeze is brought on when the test-taker is told to explain what he or she thinks the statement means. "It means what it says!...Doesn't it?" Well, yes and no. The example: "It is always wrong to lie" contains some ambiguous words, words that have many possible interpretations. Looking at the topic statement, you could ask yourself what is meant by the word "lie." How you define this word will have a major effect on the direction your essay takes. Generally speaking, then, you might start an essay by defining the key word or words of the statement. You might talk about certain meanings of the words and why you think they should be understood that way.
One way of looking at this first task is to apply it to a real-life situation. For instance, suppose you are having coffee with a friend, and that friend tells you about someone who lied to her. You might respond, "I think that it is always wrong to lie." Imagine your friend giving you a blank stare and asking, "What do you mean by that?" You are surprised. Isn't it self-evident what you meant? But on second thought, maybe it isn't so cut-and-dried. There are many kinds of lies, and many ways to tell them. Are they all equally wrong? Is it really always wrong to lie? Now you have to explain what you mean to your friend, just as with Task #1 you must explain to the reader what you think the statement means. This is an example of how thinking conversationally can help thoughts flow and not freeze up.

Defining key terms.

Another approach to Task #1 is the use of pro-examples. Write about examples where the statement applies. Explain the relationship of the example to the topic statement and justify your use of the example for this case. It can be a very helpful way to create a context for the discussion of meaning and for tying
troublesome words to specific kinds of meaning. Related to this approach is talking about how your interpretation of the meaning of the topic statement has been influenced by your personal experiences. This redefines the meaning of the statement according to a personal context, and it can provide a unique and interesting avenue into your exploration of the concepts.

Using

pro-examples.

Another approach to Task #1 can be to use a paraphrase to reformulate the topic statement in your own words. A good paraphrase, in conjunction with other
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Using a paraphrase.

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approaches, may put the topic into a form that is more natural for you. At the same time, it can help remove ambiguity and stimulate the generation of examples. However, it is critical that the paraphrase is not left to stand on its own but is presented within a context that explains its derivation and why you
chose to use it.

There are many approaches to this first task. If you find you are still having difficulty with getting started--or even if you aren't--it can be very helpful to read some of your classmates' essays. People have different ways of dealing with the Writing Sample, and you can learn from all of these approaches. In addition, different topic statements lend themselves to different approaches to this first task, so the more experience you have with various ways of executing the task, the more prepared you will be for the MCAT Writing Sample.
In many ways, Task #1 is the most important part of your composition. MCAT essay-graders reportedly spend an average of ninety seconds reading your essay. Ninety seconds is not very much time. Thus, it is extremely important that you give the reader a good first impression. A strong opening paragraph will give the reader a good opinion of your writing as he or she continues to read, just as a weak one may set the reader against you. Even more importantly, Task #1 is where you introduce all of the key ideas that
you will be discussing in the essay. In a sense, it establishes a contract between

you and the reader, where you implicitly state what you will be talking about and how you will approach it. If you explore your ideas in some depth, and cover all of the important concepts that you will be talking about (for the statement above, you would have to talk about both the concept of lying and of why it is wrong, not just one or the other), then the parts of the essay that follow will be strongerand morefocused. A strong opening paragraph keeps your essay focused by preventing you from wandering into digressions, and it makes the second and third tasks simpler, because no more definitions are needed. The succeeding parts
need only to build upon what has come before.

Preparing an outline
before you write.

^he ^est wav to ma^e certain that you adequately explore all of the key ideas
m tne topic statement is to make some notes in outline form before you start writing. You must determine for yourself how much of the thirty minutes you want to spend on an outline (usuallyno more than 3-5minutes),but a good one can both save you writing time and ensure that you stay on the topic. Once you have
read the prompt and the instructions below it, take a few seconds to start

digesting it. Look at it from different angles. Ask yourself some questions about it: "What does this mean to me? Why? What are the key terms? What are some good counter-examples? What are somegood supporting pro-examples? Why are these examples good? What do they tell me about the meaning and applicability of the statement?" You may not be able to answer all of these questions in great depth at first, but if you start off by thinking of them, then you will avoid unpleasant surprises later in the writing process. It is always better to face your problemsas early as possible, because then you don't have to try to
write your way out of a compositional dead-end later on.

In summary, although Task #1 can be intimidating, it is very important. Write an outline of your essay. If it remains troublesome, break it down into pieces that are easier to deal with. Then, reconstitute the parts into a new interpretation of the whole. Make sure that your exploration and thought in this task is developed adequately. Don't make statements without explaining why you say them, or without telling the reader why they are important. This should be a
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fairly long paragraph. Don't just restate the topic with new words and then move on. Read other people's essays to get an idea of how they deal with the first task. Learn from their strengths and their weaknesses. Also, reread your own practice essays. How could you have dealt with the first part better? Can you see how a stronger opening paragraph would have fortified the rest of the essay? Make outlines of all of the essay topics, even if you don't write the entire essay for each prompt. This teaches you how to think along the lines that the designers of the Writing Sample want you to explore.

Task Two: Describe a specific situation in which it might not be


wrong to lie.
The second task asks you to describe a specific situation in which the topic sentence might not be true. In the example statement above, you would need to think of an occasion when it would not be wrong to lie. It is generally much easier to do this as you develop your outline and before you have actually begun writing the essay, because this gives you greater freedom in selecting your counter-example. Think of more than one, to avoid the error of stereotyped thinking (generalizing from a small and/or unrepresentative sample). If you have defined the key terms too narrowly, you might also have limited your choices for counter-examples, and this can be a problem. Thinking of counter examples can even help you address the first task more clearly, because it provides you with a sense of what the statement means to you.
When presenting your counter-example, you must bespecific! The task explicitly asks you to describe a specific situation in which the statement might not be true. For some reason, many test-takers have trouble with this part of the
assignment. They don't seem to understand what the MCAT means by "specific situation." A specific situation is one where you can specify names, times, places, and quantities. Compare it to a general situation, which can be described with less precise language. Let's look at an example of each. First, a general example:
"If a doctor has to perform a dangerous procedure but doesn't want to cause her patient excessive fear or stress, then it would be acceptable for the doctor to lie about the risks of the procedure."

General

counter

example.

Compare this to a specific situation:


"My grandmother's physician had to perform a risky procedure. Unfortunately, my grandmother has hypertension, and the doctor knew that if she became anxious about the procedure, the risk to her health would have been greatly increased. The
doctor talked to us about her dilemma, and we all decided that it would be better if

Specific counter example.

she lied about the risks of the procedure, in order to protect my grandmother against her own anxieties. When it was time for the procedure, my grandmother was relaxed, and the procedure worked without a hitch."

What do you observe about these two statements? First, you might notice that the specific counter-example is longer than the general one. This is important, because the more there is to your example, the more you have to talk about. In this specific case, you can actually discuss the meanings of key words from the topic statement as they apply to a specific context. This increases the depth of your exploration into the topic statement and the development of your ideas.

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Also, the specific case is more interesting; it reads more like a narrative and less like a lab report. This serves to hold the reader's attention and keeps them interested in what you have to say. Perhaps most importantly, you can talk about the repercussions of the specific example and use that to help reinforce your point. As you read a general example, it is very easy to come up with alternative hypothetical situations that contradict it. For instance, one might question the ethics of a doctor performing a procedure without full disclosure to the patient. With no specifics, there is less to prevent a reader from coming up with refutations to your example. It is harder to challenge the decision to lie made in the specific example above than it is to challenge the general case.
Another helpful quality of specific examples is that they give you more to talk about and provide you with more ammunition for Task #3's discussion of criteria.

Notice all of the extra information we have in the second example: family participation, Grandmother's health condition and personality, the doctor's ability to communicate with the family, and the positive results of the lie. These can all have a bearing on your arguments about lying and when it is wrong, but it would be more difficult to talk about them in conjunction with the first, more general example. As you can see from the second counter-example, it could be acceptable to choose examples from your own experience. In fact, for many of the topic statements, especially those dealing with ethical issues, personal experiences can often provide the best examples, because they individualize your essay-no one else has had experiences exactly like yours-and often allow you to express your thoughts more compellingly. But examples can also come from history, current events, books (fiction and nonfiction), movies, folktales, biographies, religion, or whatever else you can think of that applies to your arguments. The important thing is to be as specific as possible, and to make sure that your example illustrates your argument as effectively as possible.
A note about logical consistency:

You might notice that in some essay prompts, such as the one we have been discussing ("It is always wrong to lie"), the qualifiers in the prompt might be absolute, i.e., "always" or "never." These understandably must be changed in
your interpretation of the topic statement to words like "sometimes" or "ever"

when you get to the secondand third tasks of the essay. Otherwise, those tasks
could not be completed.

Task Three: Discuss what you think determines whether it is ever wrong to lie.
Providing a criterion to guide the reader (criterion, pi. criteria: a
standard, rule, or

The third and final task of the MCAT Writing Sample is typically the most demanding one for most essay-writers. It asks you to discuss what you think
determines the conditions under which the rule that is expressed or implied in the topic statement is applicable. In other words, you need to discuss the criterion that determines when the statement applies and when it doesn't. This third task completes the discussion of the meaning of the topic statement and outlines the limitations for its applicability. Task #3 finishes the development of your ideas, yet remains focused on the specifics of the topic at hand. It explains why the rule in the topic statement applies in some cases and not in
others. Whether you choose to discuss one criterion or several criteria will

principle by which a judgement is formed,


used to evaluate or test

something).

depend on the topic and on how the particular essay you are writing has developed. A single criterion is preferable to a long list of determining factors.
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A long list of determining factors is too specific and has not been sufficiently
generalized; at the other end of the spectrum is a criterion so general that i t could apply to anything: "The thing that determines whether is it ever wrong to lie is who the individual is and who they are lying to." Or: "It all depends on your situation." The problem with such generalities is not that they are false, but that they are not particularly illuminating as they are expressed. Something more must be added. If your definition of lying in Task #1 involved the concept of deception, the element of a lie that typically results in a loss of trust in the liar, and if your counter-examples in Task #2 all involved instances in which the liar's deception did not produce that result (such as bluffing your buddies in a poker game, where lying is expected behavior, or throwing a surprise birthday party for your sister), then your criterion in Task #3 might be: "The thing that determines whether it is ever wrong to lie is whether the
deception of the lie does or could destroy the trust of one whose trust we value."

A common problem that people have with the third task is that they sometimes use Task #3 to make an absolute conclusion with regard to the validity of the thesis expressed by the topic statement. For the purposes of the MCAT Writing Sample, you do not want to make any arguments that conclusively support or attack the validity of the statement. Your job is only to analyze the statement and construct a well-conceived argument that helps the reader understand the limitations and applicability of the statement. You do not need to build toward a conclusion about the statement's validity at all. The structure dictated by the writing instructions of the MCAT Writing Sample effectively concludes the essay by itself, if properly applied.

A common mistake with the third task:

Concluding that the essay topic statement is definitely true or


false.

Preparation for the Writing Sample


In many ways, preparation for the Writing Sample is similar to preparation for the Verbal Reasoning section of the MCAT. This makes sense, since they deal with complementary verbal skillswriting and reading. Your preparation for these sections of the test will overlap most when you do outside readings. Outside readings consist of articles and other texts, which you select from sources outside of your field of study. You should select your sources from well-respected journals and publications where the writing is of a high quality. You should try to read in many different areas of interest, especially areas with which you are unfamiliar. And you should read these texts slowly and carefully, noticing how the writers work their craft. Analyze their arguments, the strength of their evidence, the way ideas flow throughout the essay. Notice which articles are the most convincing. Ask yourself why they have such an effect on you, and think about how you might reproduce that effect in your own writings. Also notice which arguments seem weak. Why do you think they are weak? What would you do differently that might make the argument stronger?
There are several reasons why it is advisable to do outside reading. First, it gives you many examples of how arguments can be constructed. You will see how different topics call for different kinds of reasoning, evidence, and argument. An essay about history may look very different from one about ethics, and an essay that asks you to consider the probability of harm resulting from an action could be unlike the structure of an essay that is all about the definition of some abstract concept-but each will provide valuable lessons about essay writing. Second, learning to think about many different subjects will help you when you have to construct an argument of your own about an unfamiliar subject. In other words, the outside reading will give you more flexibility in your thinking. It
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Read essays about


new and unfamiliar

subjects:

to appreciate the variety of essay


styles.

to gain flexibility and


breadth.

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will also broaden your experience, which can help by giving you material and specific examples to write about in your essay, as well as giving you something interesting to talk about in your medical school interviews.
to learn new writing techniques.

Third, outside reading can give you examples of different writing techniques that you might want to use in your own essays. Noticing how a writer introduces his or her topic can help you introduce the topic of your Writing Sample essay. Studying how an author makes transitions between different thoughts can teach you how to tie the three tasks together into a seamless, cohesive unit. And observing how an author unifies everything at the end of an essay can show you what you need to do to complete your explorations and close your arguments and ideas effectively.
Practice

Training for timed writing.

When preparing for the MCAT Writing Sample, it is advisable to figure out how to write a good essay before you start worrying about time. Therefore, when you practice your initial essays, you should take as much time as you need to make sure that you have satisfied all three tasks and developed your ideas as thoroughly as possible. Go back and rewrite the whole essay, if that would be helpful. When you do so, notice the changes you have made. Ask yourself how you might have avoided these changes by getting them right the first time around. Only after you have begun to master the MCAT Writing Sample style should you start to worry about issues of time. And even then, you must ease into it. Start by allowing yourself 45 minutes, then gradually, over a period of several weeks, work your way down to 40, 35, and finally 30 minutes on timed
writing sessions.

Discussing essay topics in a group.

Of course, many students run out of things to write about long before their thirty minutes have expired. One way to learn how to generate ideas is to sit down with other students and talk about the various practice essay topics. Try to come up with examples, both pro and con, of the topic in action. Talk about how you would start the essay. Talk about the factors that determine when the rule in the topic statement is applicable. By talking with others, you are practicing the conversational thinking that is so helpful when writing for the MCAT. It will give you practice in generating many ideas and also will give you more insight into how other people think about various topics.
When evaluating your own writing, one of the best methods is to read it to yourself out loud! For some reason, students really resist this advice; but when you read your own work to yourself, you hear things that somehow remain hidden on silent readings. You will notice grammatical mistakes, because they will sound funny to your ear. But, more importantly, you will notice areas that just don't make a lot of sense, areas that are logically flawed or awkwardly written. If it sounds strange to your ear, then it might strike others as strange and might bother a grader when he or she is reading your essay. Eventually, you will learn to write as if you were talking onto the page. This will not only make your writing sound more natural and flowing, it will help you write faster.

Reading essays out


loud.

Sharing and comparing written essays with


others.

Another analytical technique for the Writing Sample is to share your work with others. It is especially useful to share it with other people who are also taking the MCAT, because they will be familiar with the demands of the Writing Sample essay and will be able to point out areas where you are offcourse. Also, sharing your work with others (and having them share theirs with you) will give you ideas for different ways to express your thoughts. You may be
22

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uncomfortable sharing your work with others at first, but you have to decide
whether it is more important for you to be comfortable or to succeed on the

MCAT. If you are going to grade someone else's paper, don't be too indirect in yourcriticism. Tell that person where they are weak, where they are strong, and what you think they should do differently. The point of sharing is to get valuable feedback that will help develop writing skills, not to create an
illusion of quality that isn't there.

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Essay Topic Statements for Writing

Practice Essays

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The.

Instructions

For each statement below, write an essay in which you perform the following
tasks:

(1)

Explain what you think the statement means.

(2) (3)

Describe a specific situation that you think represents a counter


example to what is asserted by the statement.

Discuss what you think determines whether the point of view expressed in the statement or the one suggested by the counter-example
is more persuasive and under what conditions you find this to be so.

1. 2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

"That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the
greatest number."

The role of a scientist is to explain the natural world, not to impart


values.

The only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals


revenge."

Journalists should always be strictly objective.


Freedom of expression should be absolute.
Limited terms of office would make elected officials more
accountable to those who elect them.

7.

Governing with the consent of the governed is more effective than


governing by decree.

8.
9.

Health care is a right, not a privilege.


The responsibility of public education is to teach skills, rather than
values.

10. 11.

The mass media have a duty to cover all sides of a news story. "A liar should have a good memory."

12.
13.

The person who buys pornography harms no one by doing so.


One has an obligation to report the irregular behavior of a coworker
to a supervisor.

14.
15.

"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil."


Killing is never justified.

16.
17.

A good citizen votes in every election.


The price of something will not always reflect its value.

18.
19.

Violence in films is unnecessary for making an artistic statement.


Freedom is the greatest desire of every individual.

20.

"The secret to being a bore is to tell everything."

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Look carefully at eachstatementbeforeyou begin to write. Make sure that the choice of alternatives being presented is clear to you. For example, suppose
the statement's recommended course of action is to "limit the terms of office for elected officials"-that would be alternative A. But what is alternative B?

The implied alternative B is to let the present system continue, permitting incumbents in the state and federal legislatures to hold their positions for as long as they wish to stand for re-election. The basic idea of the essay is to compare two opinions or two ways of looking at the same problem, without necessarily acting asthe advocate or the champion of one solution over the other.
Make sure that you allot yourself enough time to perform all three tasks that are requested of you for each statement. Notice that you are not being asked here to argue to a conclusion strongly in favor of either alternative presented in the statement. Simply explain what you think the statement means (define the key terms as you interpret them or as you intend to use them in your essay, and perhaps say what it would mean to implement the statement's proposed plan of action or its recommended way of seeing a situation). Then present some specific situation in which you think alternative B might be preferable to alternative A, the one favored by the author of the statement. You may draw this counter-examplefrom the pages of history, from personal experience, or from your imagination. Finally, set forth the criteria or guidelines by which you think any reasonable person should be able to
determine whether A or B is the better alternative for a given situation or a set of circumstances. You will often find that your guidelines have been determined by how you defined key terms in the statement.

If you find this difficult at first, try writing your initial essay without imposing any time limitations upon yourself. Just get a feel for identifying the
two alternatives being presentedmaybe it will help to write them out in a

standard format for each statement~and then organize the structure of your essay to conform to the three tasks. When you feel more confident, ask someone to time you for 30 minutes per essay, the amount of time you will
have on the test. At first you may want to do the writing samples in your own handwriting. However, if you feel ready, you may practice typing them.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

Writing SampIe ,

"That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number."
Francis Hutcheson, Inquiry Concerning Moral Good and Evil (1720)

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement

means. Describe a specific situation in which the best action might not be the one that procures the greatest
happiness for the greatest number. Discuss what you think determines whether the best action is the one that
procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number.

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Practice Essays

writing sample 1

11111

IF YOU NEED NORE SPACE, PLEASE CONTINUE ON THE NEXT PAGE.

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Practice Essays

writitig s^e ,

11111

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Practice Essays

writing sample 1

11111

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 1.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 2

The role of a scientist is to explain the natural world, not to impart values.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which the role of a scientist might be to impart values. Discuss what you think determines whether the roleof a scientist is to explain the naturalworld or to impart values.

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Practice Essays

writing sample 2

22222

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writing sample 2

22222

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Practice Essays

writing sample 2

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 2.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing sample 3

The only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals revenge."

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which a person might argue in favor of capital punishment for some reason other than a desire for revenge. Discuss what you think determines (i.e., how you can tell) whether a person who argues in favor of capital punishment is really doing so out of a desire for revenge, or for some other reason.

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Practice Essays

writing sample 3

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Practice Essays

writing sample 3

~~3

3~~

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Practice Essays

writing sample 3

~~3

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 3.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 4

Journalists should always be strictly objective.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which a journalist perhaps should not be strictly objective. Discuss what
you think determines whether a journalist should be strictly objective at all times or not.

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Practice Essays

writing sample 4

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writing sample 4

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Practice ESSayS

Writing Sample 4

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 4.

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Practice Essays

writing Sample 5

Consider this statement:

Freedom of expression should be absolute.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which freedom of expression perhaps should not be absolute. Discuss what you think determines whether freedom of expression should be absolute or not.

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Practice Essays

writing sample 5

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Practice Essays

writing sample 5

~~5

5~~

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Practice Essays

writing sample 5

5~~

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 5.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 6

Limited terms of office would make elected officials more accountable to those who elect them.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which limited terms of office might not make elected officials more accountable to those who elect them. Discuss what you think determines whether limited terms of office would
make elected officials more accountable or not.

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Practice Essays

writing sample e

~6

6~~

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writing sample 6

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Practice Essays

writing sample 6

~~6

6~~

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 6.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 7

Governing with the consent of the governed is more effective than governing by decree. Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which governing by decree might be more effective than governing with the consent of the governed. Discuss what you think determines whether governing with the consent of the governed
or governing by decree is more effective.

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Practice Essays

writing sample 7

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Practice Essays

writing sample i

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Practice Essays

writing sample 7

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 7.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing sample 8

Health care is a right not a privilege.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which health care might be thought of as a privilege, rather than a right. Discuss what you think determines whether health care is a right of a privilege.

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Practice Essays

writing sample a

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Practice ESSayS

Writing Sample 8

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writing sample s

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 9

The responsibility of public education is to teach skills, rather than values.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which the responsibility of public education might be to teach values, rather than skills. Discuss what you think determines whether the responsibility of public education is to teach
skills or values.

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Practice Essays

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Practice Essays

wriung sample 9

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Practice Essays

writing sample 9

99999

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 9.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 10

Themass media havea duty to cover all sides of a news story.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which the mass media might not have a duty to cover all sides ofa news

story. Discuss what you think determines whether the mass media have a duty to cover all sides of a news story.

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Practice ESSayS

Writing Sample 10

10

10

10

10

10

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Practice ESSayS

Writing Sample 10

10

10

10

10

10

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writing sample 10

10

10

10

10

10

STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 10.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing sample 11

"A liar should have a good memory." Quintilian, De Institution Oratoria (1st century AD)

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement

means. Describe a specific situation inwhich a liar might not necessarily need a good memory. Discuss what you
think determines whether a liar should have a good memory.

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Practice Essays

writing sample 11

11

11

11

ii

ii

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 12

The person who buys pornography harms no one by doing so.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which the person who buys pornography harms someone by doing so. Discuss what you think determines whether buying pornography harms someone.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 13

One has an obligation to report the irregular behavior of a coworker to a supervisor.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which one might not have an obligation to report a coworker's irregular behavior to a supervisor. Discuss what you think determines whether one has an obligation to report a coworker's irregular behavior to a supervisor.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 14

"Government even in its best state, is but a necessary evil."


Thomas Paine, Common Sense (1776)

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which government might be thought of as something other than a
necessary evil. Discuss what you think determines whether government is or is not a necessary evil.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

Writing Sample 15

Killing is never justified.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which killing might be justified. Discuss what you think determines
whether killing is ever justified.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

Writing SampIe 16

A good citizen votes in every election.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement

means. Describe a specific situation in which a good citizen might not vote in every election. Discuss what you
thinkdetermines whether a good citizen votes in every election.

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writing sample i6

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 17

The price of something will not always reflect its value.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which the price of a thing actually might reflect its value. Discuss what you
think determines whether the priceof something reflects its valueor not.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

Writing Samplc 18

Violence in films is unnecessary for making an artistic statement.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which violence in a film might be necessary for making an artistic statement. Discuss what you think determines whether violence in films is necessary for making an artistic
statement.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 19

Freedom is the greatest desire of every individual.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which freedom might not be the greatestdesire of some individual. Discuss what you think determines whether freedom is the greatest desire of an individual.

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Practice Essays
Consider this statement:

writing Sample 20

"The secret to being a bore is to tell everything."


Voltaire, Septdiscours en verssur I'homme (1738)

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which the secret to being a bore might not be to tell everything. Discuss what you think determines whether telling everything is the secret to being a bore.

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Sample Essays
with

Commentary

BERKELEY
JUr-e-v-i^e-w
Specializing in MCAT Preparation

Sample Essays
The following essays show how some students have responded to a few of the
essay topic statements given in this book (as well as to other statements not

contained in this book, but which were found in practice exams). They have been included at the request of many former participants in The Berkeley Review, who wanted to have some standard against which to compare their own writing sample, as well as something to emulate in improving their essay composition
style.

Although they were written by students in The Berkeley Review, these essays should not be regarded as typical of what most students will produce in a writing time of only thirty minutes. For one thing, most of the grammatical and spelling errors in the original essays have been edited out, and they have been neatly reproduced to fit onto a single page (rather than the original two or three fixed pages) for easier reading and side-by-side comparison with other essays. Second, the average length and complexity of these essays are considerably greater than
most ordinary mortals (including the instructors for this part of the course) could put together in a legible style in thirty minutes or less. The typical Berkeley Review student in timed writing samples in class produces a first-draft effort of three to five paragraphs (three being much more often the case than four or five), with a tally of somewhere between 200 and 400 words. Only one of the essays included among this sample matches that general description, with a few of them exceeding 500 or even 600 words. For some appreciation of what must go on in the mind of a person who is capable of such a prodigious effort, the curious student might try just copying one of the longer essays by hand within the time constraint of a half-hour, and then imagine trying to do that motor function and organizing a first-rate piece of writing in your brain simultaneously. It is a humbling experience for most of us-again, we include the current faculty for this
course.

Yet it should not be an intimidating or a demoralizing experience. Nor should an excellent essay be thought of as something beyond the aspiring student's reach, although writing of this volume and quality requires considerable diligent practice. The authors of the MCAT Practice Test HI booklet (1995 by the Association of American Medical Colleges, page 121), in commenting on an essay very similar in word count and complexity to those presented here, an essay which they understandably scored with the highest grade of 6, praise the writer's clarity, depth of analysis, and superior command of the language-but regarding the unusual length of this writing sample, they are silent. Maybe they did not even consider it to be unusually long. Take comfort in this knowledge as well: Even the very best writers do not do equally well with every essay prompt handed to them. The Molecular and Cell Biology major who wrote the essay on whether good citizens vote in every election wasn't particularly good at writing about art, and the shy young woman with hopes of becoming a pediatrician who wrote about whether the practice of capital punishment is rooted in a desire for revenge was stumped about how to begin that essayuntil we suggested she draw upon her writing experience in any
other class, and she remembered details from an article she had written for her

journalism course. Other contributors used things they had learned in classes on poetry and philosophy, and only one of the authors (whose work appears twice in this sample) was very good at anything we asked him to write about. Characteristically for all the students who have ever taken the course and talked to us during office hours about their writing attempts, he was very critical of his work and more aware of room for improvement than of his obvious virtues.
Copyright by The Berkeley Review 111 The Berkeley Review Specializing in MCAT Preparation

In any event, our hope in assembling these minor masterpieces from recent years of teaching this review course has been to inspire and to instruct, and never to discourage. Perhaps one day an essay of your own might be included among
them. To take a look at other essays of the same kind, using topic statements and

essay prompts that either have appeared or are similar to those that have appeared on past versions of the MCAT, check out the materials released by the AAMC. The essays presented in our collection would probably all receive grades
of either 5 or 6.

The commentary accompanying each essay here is not intended to be a rigorous analysis of the essay's strengths and defects from an MCAT scorer's point of view. Instead, it represents one writing instructor's personal reflections on and general suggestions about an individual writer's style, the approach he or she took or might have taken, the wording that was used, the important related issues brought up by a particular essay topic, and so on. Because Task #3 is the most
difficult one for most students, it has been summarized for each essay in italics at

the beginning of the commentary. It would be a mistake for the student to regard any of these italicized summaries as the only correct solution to its corresponding essay, since there seems to be no one perfect way to construct an argument-only better ways and worse ways. In future editions of this book, it is possible that more than one sample essay per topic statement may be included to give a broader idea of the variety of excellent techniques students have employed in the past to write good essays under timed practice conditions at home or in class.

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"A good citizen votes in every election."


Let us consider a good citizen to be someone who does more than merely obey all laws and causes no offense

to others, butwho also contributes to the common good of society by organizing civic groups, for example, orby
giving time and money to charities. Voting contributes to the common good. It is participation in the decision

making process that creates our laws and elects our government officials. The passive, law-abiding aspect ofgood citizenship and the active, social-involvement aspect ofit together reflect an ideal that exceeds the legal definition of being a natural-born or naturalized citizen. Some people, in fact, might be called "good citizens" even when they are legally not citizens at all, because their public behavior marks them so obviously as good neighbors and
assets to their community.

Clearly, then, saying "a good citizen votes in every election" does not mean that voting in every election is a special kind of behavior which by itself automatically confers the label of "good citizen" on any individual who performs it. That is, it cannot be true that if one votes in every election, then by definition one is a good citizen,

because it is possible to imagine individuals ofa strikingly uncharitable or non-law-abiding character who might still make it to the polls every election without fail (perhaps because of some compulsive personality trait).
Instead, it seems morereasonable to read thisstatement as saying the reverse: Ifone is a good citizen, then one will verylikely demonstrate that innategoodness by voting in every election, amongother worthy deeds one mightdo
that contribute to the public welfare.

When mighta good citizen not vote? Many examples suggest themselves: The elderly immigrant who never became a naturalized citizen, but who raises funds for the local library. The 16-year-old candy-striper hospital volunteer who is too young to vote (and many candidates win their elections with the help of youthful campaigners not old enough to cast a ballot for them). The paroled felon who coaches late-nightbasketball games
to keep kids in his old neighborhood off the streets and out of the crack wars that sent him to jail. The individual who-deprived of even a write-in protest option-expresses disgust with a field of ineffective or corrupt candidates by refusing to give any of them their voter's seal of approval. What about the citizen who has made every effort to educate themselves about the candidates and issues in an upcoming election, but who still feels so confused that they fear they might make the wrong choices in the voting booth, causing more harm than good? Some good
citizens can't read, and some are mentally disabled. Finally, there is the good citizen who usually does vote, but who suddenly falls ill on election day, too late to file for an absentee ballot.

In each casejust described, some obstacle prevents the individual from voting: A legal limitation arising from citizenship status, or age, or paroled criminal status; a limitation of conscience or inadequate knowledge; a physical limitation. To the extent that a good citizen is free from such limitations and able to participate, we find
that generally they do vote in every election, or at least in most of them, because it is in their nature to contribute willingly and regularly to the common good.

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Commentary on the essay"Agood citizen votes in every election."

The thing that determines whether a good citizen votes in every election
is the extent to which they are impeded from voting by any

limitingfactors (such as legal constraints, limitations imposed by one's conscience or lack of knowledge, or physical disabilities). "To the extent that a good citizen is freefrom such limitations and able to participate, wefind that generally they do vote in every election, or atleast in most ofthem, because it is in their nature to contribute willingly and regularly to the common good."
This essay is representative of a family of essays, which essentially all ask the question: "If people know the right thing to do, why don't they do it?" And the answer to all of them generally boils down to this: "It all depends on the degree to which they are willing and able to do the right thing." If an individual really does not know right from wrong, that can be thought of as one kind of limitation or limiting factor in itself. Not caring enough to do the right thing, on the other hand, demonstrates a lack of willingness. (The practice essay in this book that deals with restricting the number of times an elected official can hold office as a way of making him or her more accountable to their constituents is effectively
handled as another essay of this varietythe proposed remedy will have little effect on utterly corrupt politicians who are unwilling to carry out their campaign

promises, or on politicians facing, say, a filibuster or a shortage of funds so that they are unable to carry out their campaign promises).
The writer of this essay has chosen to define a good citizen as a person actively willing to "contribute to the common good," which he says necessarily includes voting regularly, because voting represents "participation in the decision-making process that creates our laws and elects our government officials." If he had been content with defining a good citizen only as someone who obeys all laws and offends no one (the "passive" aspect of citizenship), he could not have used the "willing and able" resolution to this essay that he does employ so well. That is, it would have been difficult for him to argue that passively good citizens necessarily vote on a regular basis,, since voting is not required by law in many countries, including the US. In the initial paragraph, he also explores the notion that "good citizens" are not necessarily legal citizensmeaning he will be able to use some individuals of this description as possible counter-examples for Task #2. This kind of forethought is an indicator of an exceptional degree of mental organization in a writer. Finally, he implies that the phrase "good citizen" is most nearly synonymous with "good neighbor" or "asset to [one's] community."

If the organization is good in this essay, the clarity of thought is even more pronounced, as we see in the second paragraph. There, the writer dispels a fundamental and almost invisible ambiguity inherent in the topic statement,
which technically can be understood as saying two entirely different-in fact, opposite-things: "If one votes in every election, then by definition one is a good

citizen," or: "If one is a good citizen, then one will very likely demonstrate that innate goodness by voting in every election." Which is it? The writer chooses the second interpretation and provides the reason for his selection: There could be sinister people roaming about who vote and do other good things for society, but who could not be regarded in any sense as genuine assets to their community. One is reminded of John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer who by day enjoyed donning clown makeup to entertain children, and then returned home every night Copyright by The Berkeley Review 114 The Berkeley Review
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to a house filled with the rotting bodies of his victims hidden beneath the

floorboards. (It is reported that he even shook hands with First Lady Rosalyn Carter on oneoccasion, as a member ofa groupofChicago citizens being honored publicly for their outstanding contributions to society!) The message here is the
same as what the writer is trying to convey: Doing a few good deeds, in and of itself, does not automatically make anyone a "good citizen." But it is rare to find

inherently helpful and civic-minded people who lack a record of public service to
demonstrate those character traits.

The third paragraph contains perhaps the most amazing profusion of counter examples found in any essay in our collection, and it reveals very strongly the benefit of generating a large, diverse, and representative sample of items in order to avoid the error of stereotyped or overly generalized thinking. Most writers, even if they can think of this many specific examples or counter-examples of
anything, have neither the time nor the inclination to put them all on paper. They wisely elect to write about the best example or two in their mental list-and by "best," we mean the strongest, most accessible, and least likely to be argued away. But here, the effect is overwhelming-eight counter-examples in one paragraph!
And the thing they all have in common is the criterion used to conclude Task #3.

This is an outstanding piece of essay writing, combining the best aspects of


deductive and inductive reasoning.

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"The only argument for capital punishment is that 'justice equals revenge.1"
On the morning of July 5, 1978 Robert Alton Harris and his brother, Daniel, abducted two teenage boys leaving a hamburger stand inSan Diego. He drove the boys toa remote area, shot them at close range with a ninemillimeter Luger, and then satdown next to their corpses while heate their hamburgers. He was arrested after a failed robbery attempt, in which he used the car originally driven by his victims. Police officer Steven Baker, one
of the first to arrive at the crime scene, was unaware that his own son, Michael, had been slain by Harris. Fourteen

years and two dozen appeals later, Baker stood at the window of the San Quentin gas chamber to witness the
execution ofhis son's murderer. Harriswas strapped in a chair. Twopellets beneath it dropped into a vat of acid,

and deadly clouds ofcyanide gas swirled about the head ofthe condemned man. At thelastminute, Harris gazed into thegrieving father's eyes, his mouth soundlessly forming thewords: "I'm sorry." Baker turnedaway from the
window. Nothinganyonesaid or did now would bringbackhis son. Tohis mind, this was not justice.

Outside the prison, people who knew Robert Alton Harris only as a name in a celebrated trialhad gathered
for his death watch. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!" shouted one faction of the crowd in a spirit of equal parts anger and jubilation. "And whatwill thatleave us with," murmured a man in theotherfaction, a candlelight vigil protesting the execution, "except a world of blind and toothless men?" TV cameras focused on anotherman
in the crowd, who said he didn't understand why some people accused people like himself of seeking revenge.

"It's just simplejustice that we want," he said. "We only want what's right." Like most who had followed the case,
he did not know the families of the dead teenagers, nor had he suffered a personal loss similar to theirs. But the

story obviously had touched something deep within him-feelings of shock, bewilderment, and outrage at the
senselessness of Harris's crimes. "He took a life, and he should pay with a life. Somebody's got to pay for what he did, right? I only hope he suffers as much as those two kids he killed."

"Funny thing about wanting revenge," said a woman at the prayer vigil. "We're taught to be ashamed of it, because it comes out of anger, and we're supposed to be able to control anger, or at least rise above it. Especially 'decent, God-fearing Christians' who quote the Old Testament to defend state-approved murder. They know Jesus
said to 'turn the other cheek.' They try to sound like they hold the moral high ground, but in their hearts everyone who argues for capital punishment just wants revenge. So they say it's God who's angry and needs to be appeased."

Maybe so. Yet there seems little reason to doubt the sincerity of the Texas family who begged their local parole board to keep their daughter's killer behind bars for life, fearing he would carry out his promise to kill them after they testified against him. They had hoped in vain for the death sentence in his case. Anger alone is the emotion that inspires revenge. It can coexist with other motivating factors (such as fear) without invalidating them as legitimate personal drives behind seeking capital punishment. But not until all of those other possible motivating factors have been eliminated-and not unless the advocate for capital punishment expresses only anger and the desire for retribution in at least the same degree and kind as the offense committed by the criminal-can we say that the only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals revenge," because only then can we be certain that the appeasement of anger uniquely fulfills an individual's conditions of moral satisfaction regarding punishment for a particular crime.

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Commentary on the essay "The only argument for capital punishment is that
'justice equals revenge.'"

The thing that determines whether the only argument for capital
punishment is that "justice equals revenge" is theextentto whichwe

can be certain that the appeasement of anger alone fulfills an individual's conditions of moral satisfaction regarding punishmentfor a particular crime. "Anger alone is the emotion that inspires revenge. It can coexist with other tnotivating factors (such as fear) without invalidating them as legitimate personal drives behind seeking capital punishment. Not until all of those other possible motivatingfactors have been eliminated-and not unless the advocatefor capital punishment expresses only anger and the desire for retribution in at least the same degree and kind as the offense committed by the
criminalcan we say that the onlyargument for capital punishment is
that 'justice equals revenge.' "

This is in many ways the most difficult essay in this practice series given to students to write, and it is rather unlikely to appear on the MCAT as a topic
statement (at least, in this form). At the same time, you have good reason to feel confident in your reasoning and writing abilities, if you are able to pull it off in
thirty minutes with the elegance demonstrated by this writer. First of all, the topic calls for a definition of two terms that get at the very heart of human desire and emotion: "justice" and "revenge". What do they mean, and what does it mean to equate the two ("justice equals revenge")? Second, all of that has to be fit within the context of a social debate, a highly emotional argument about the state's execution of individuals found guilty of committing certain crimes, an execution done in the name of the citizens of the state. Is the desire for revenge invariably at the root of this practice, as some have charged? And why is it a charge or an accusation capable of irritating proponents of capital punishment, to say that all they want is revenge? If it's true, why are people ashamed to admit it? If it's false, why do people make this false claim? The writer uses the clever idea of setting out this debate in the words of real people talking to television reporters. Then there is the requirement of the essay to come up with a specific counter example, and here several students show they have not read the assignment for Task #2 carefully. The task in this case is not to find arguments against capital punishment, but arguments for capital punishment that have nothing to do with revenge. Of course, if you have not figured out by this point in your reflections that you need a definition for "revenge" to do that task, then your powers of organization and clear thinking are not up to the demands of this topic, even if your vocabulary is first-rate and your attempts to keep your development coherent and focused are more than apparent. Last of all, for task #3, the writer has to take a stab at formulating a test for revenge, based on some distinctive feature by which it can be recognized as the motivating force behind a person's argument in favor of capital punishment, even when it is denied. A very tall
order, indeed!

How well did this writer do? The answer is: exceptionallywell. She didn't miss a single turn on the ski slope, and she crossed the finish line in gold-medal time (just under the allotted thirty minutes). There is some evidence of time running out on her there at the end; Tasks #2 and #3 are both collapsed into the concluding paragraph. But the direction of the argument is so clear and its structure is so tight and well-organized that she didn't have much to worry about.
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Thewriterof this essay might havebeen awarded a 5 or a 6,even if the entirefirst paragraph had notbeen part of the paper. As it is, however, everyone who reads that opening paragraph agrees that its abundance of graphic and shocking details absolutely rivets the reader's imagination (the writer claims to have remembered them all, and the quotes from the people at the televised death watch for Harris's execution in April 1992, from an article she wrote for her elective class on
journalism).

The first paragraph deals with the subjective nature of what we call "justice," the
demand of an individual for moral or ethical satisfaction; the criminal's execution,

even his apology at the last minute,could never satisfythe grievingfather. Justice by its very nature must be subjective (different for each observer or participant), and not objective (the same for all observers and participants), because otherwise, everyone could agree that the verdict in any case was either just or unjust. Such,
unfortunately, is not the reality of justice.

In the next paragraph, we hear from a man who wants revenge-a punishment he thinks of as a payback, in at least the same degree and kind as the original offense, and motivated by anger-but he denies it. Interestingly enough, he says that all he wants is "simple justice." If we can be convinced that he really does want revenge-and the writer's test for revenge at the end of the paper points clearly in that direction-then here is a person for whom justice equals revenge. Only by making the murderer suffer "as much as those two kids he killed" will his sense of moral outrage be satisfied. Only that will hit the spot, as far as his concept of simple justice is concerned. One gets the feeling that even if he were told that Mr.
Baker, the dead boy's father, wasn't satisfied after witnessing the execution, he would still want "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." People who feel this way do not want an eye for a tooth. They have a very clear idea of what will satisfy their need for retribution to balance the scales of justice.

In the third paragraph, a woman who agrees with the sentiment expressed in the topic statement explains why she thinks some who thirst for revenge are ashamed to admit it. And the final paragraph gives a specific instance of a family who sought the death penalty for their daughter's killer out of fear, not anger. Then in the same paragraph we are provided with the litmus test that shows us how we can tell when people are really demanding the death of another human being out of a desire for revenge, even if they deny it to themselves. It is, of course, a tricky thing to know what is in the mind of another person. But we might almost consider that the writer comes as close as possible to a clinically diagnostic position in this respect-something like saying that the spoken or implied presence of anger reveals the desire for revenge, just as reliably as hydrogen ion
concentration indicates whether an unknown solution is an acid or a base.

Besides misreading the assignment, the other two most frequent writing problems with this essay are: (1) pursuing the line of reasoning that holds people want revenge only to appease a sense of personal loss; and (2) an inability to think of other reasons for supporting capital punishment (i.e., counter-examples). The first misunderstanding is dispelled here by the man described in the second

paragraph: "Like most who had followed the case, he did not know the families of the dead teenagers, nor had he suffered a personal loss similar to theirs. But the story obviously had touched something deep within him." Likewise, most people know that anyone directly or indirectly related to a murder victim is always rooted out by defense lawyers from serving on the jury hearing the accused
killer's case.

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The second problem is also easily resolved with a little patient thought
(admittedly a rare commodity during the test). Capital punishment has been
sought to prevent criminals from repeating their offenses, to deter would-be felons, to save the money spent on "warehousing" murderers, and even for

humanitarian reasons (i.e., giving those facing life imprisonment the optionwhich some of them choose-to die instead). You could characterize the emotions

underlying these arguments as fear, caution, greed, and pity, respectively, if you wanted to. There are even enterprising individuals who have proposed airing
executions for profit, like boxing matches on cable (pay-per-view); and in China, some criminals are reportedly killed on a schedule set by hospitals for organ
transplantation.

The point is, if any of these other motivating factors are involved, it is difficult to

say that wanting revenge is the only reason people seek the death penalty. But on the other hand, if someone who says he wants this punishment in order to save taxpayers money can then be convinced that years of legal appeals cost more than life imprisonment, yet he still maintains that "someone has to pay for this outrageous crime-an eye for an eye!", then we have good cause to suspect that all
he really wants is revenge.

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"The true test of courage is not to die, but to live."


The intensity ofsituations often draws out latent qualities in human beings. Courage isone of these qualities. At times, it may seem that the true test ofcourage isnot to face death-the thing that most people instinctively fear above any other experience-but to go on living through an ordeal of great physical pain or emotional distress.
Circumstances like this come to mind: The victim of an automobile accident who struggles for life, even though he

may be paraplegic ifhe lives; the cancer patient who fights tohold on to every last day ofher life; the prisoner of
war who tries to endure the sordid conditions of captivity in the face of torture and hardship, in order to serve his country with honor.

In other circumstances, however, the opposite is true. Then the test of courage is to be willing to die. In this

case, courage may require you to put others before yourself, risking personal injury for the sake of others, and standing up to seemingly insurmountable odds, regardless of any consequences to your personal well-being. At such times, people sacrifice their lives because of their courage. The lone shadow of a student standing in Tiananmen Square in the face of oncoming tanks and soldiers exemplifies courage of this kind. Jim Eliot, the missionary who risked his lifein order to spread the gospel to the Aucua Indians of South America, died by Aucua spears-but the courage he displayed before and during his death remained with the tribesmen and eventually
caused them to accept Christianity.

Courageous people are not always the ones on the front lines of a war or the ones doing battle in foreign countries. Courage can also be found in ordinary people living ordinary lives. The true test of courage is facing whatever it is that you fear, so courage itself entails more than merely choosing to live or to die. It involves setting aside one's own fears and well-being in order to stand for what is right, for what one believes in-to press on to
defeat the odds, to seek to give all of oneself for the benefit of others.

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Commentary on the essay "The true test of courageis not to die, but to live."

The thing that determines whether living or dying is the true test of
courage is which of those things the individual fears the most at any particular moment in one's life. "The true test ofcourage is facing whatever it is that you fear, so courage itself entails more than merely choosing to live or to die...At times, it may seem that the true test

ofcourage is not to face death-the thing that most people instinctively fear above any other experience-but to go on living through an ordeal of
great physical pain or emotional distress...In other circumstances, however, the opposite is true."

In almost every way that the death penalty essay topic is dense, complex, and demanding, this one isshort, sweet, and to the point-as long as you recognize, as this writer did, that the true test of courage in any situation where it is being tested is to face whatonefears most. That could be living, or dying, or sometimes justtelling the truth aboutsomething you have kept hidden. Not too many years ago, a fireman wasinterviewed by a local television news team. He had gone into a burning building and saved an unconscious woman. "People are calling you a
hero!" said the interviewer to him in a live shot at the scene of the blaze. "What do you say to that?"

"I'm no hero," he answered, without the usual display of false modesty one comes to expect in such situations. "I knew right where she was, I knew I could get us both out of there, and I've been training to do this for the last four years, so I
wasn't afraid at all."

"But why doesn't that make you a hero?" asked the interviewer, unwilling to let
him step out of the limelight that quickly.

"Because," he said, "a hero is someone who is afraid, but they go ahead and do
what they know they have to do anyway."

The writer of this essay might havesaid more about courage and about the people who display this trait. For example, do we call an action "brave" or "courageous" when an individual really had no choice but to do what they did? In what other
ways might one's courage be put to the test? And why does our culture conduct

its never-ending search for those who stand taller than the rest of us, shining as beacons to guide our own behavior in times of crisis? Are they really in such
short supply?

But realistically, there is no need to make extra work for oneself in writing what is otherwise a very straightforward essay. The style and length of this essay come the closest of any of the essays in this sample to what most students (especially those with very little practice in writing essays) can accomplish in a half-hour.
The command of the language is good, the examplesare vivid, and the conclusion is unambiguous. The writer exhibits at least an average, if not better-than-

average, degree of clarity and coherence. The tone is consistent throughout, and the point of all the examples is unmistakable: In evaluating option A (to die) against option B(to live) as the true test of courage, the problem can be resolved
by understanding that both options are just different versions of the same test:
confronting your greatest fear.

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"The goal of our legal system shouldbe to administer due process under the law, not justice."
This statement is a judgment on the need for separation between the "law-making" and "law-applying" branches ofgovernment. The legislative branch ofgovernment is empowered with the ability to make laws, which

apply to a society. It is then the goal of the judicial branch to interpret these laws in application to specific
circumstances, such as criminal trials. These two branches of government really make up our legal system,

although many people (perhaps including the author ofthis statement) think ofthe legal system as being only the
judicial branch.

The value of this separation is that the legislative branch can make laws which have a universal sense. All
citizens can be informed of these laws and use them to guide their decisions. Through a democratic system,

changes can be made to the laws, which reflect the overall wishes of the people. And most importantly, these changes will be made, not in application to specific circumstances, but removed from these applications, where
more room is available for debate and reflection. Removed from the emotionality of a particular trial, cooler heads may prevail.

Due process is usually defined as the use of specific guidelines for such things as admissible evidence, the right ofa defendant to counsel, fair and speedy trial, etc. These guidelines are setup to protect people from being unfairly put on trial and convicted by the courts. The implication of this is thatby creating fair laws (through the legislatures) and application of due process (through the courts), justice will be served fairly and equally to all
people.

But in rebuttal, we must consider the practicalside to this rationale. The court system is invariably clogged

up with lengthy and expensive trials. Worse still, many defendants areable to getaway with their crimes, due to
technicalities, such as improper search warrants.

At times, many peoplewant to do away with such technicalities, which serve only as a means forcriminals to go free. There is a perceived need to protect the public and stop coddling criminals-after all, if someone has violated another person's rights (such as through rape or murder), why should their rights be protected? The temptation is thus very great for courts to overstep their role and to attempt to apply justice directly from the
bench, based more on an intuitive sense of what seems right, rather than due process.

The resolution to this is to go back and work within the system. The goal of our legal system is to preserve social harmony by providing an impartial, fair, uniform method for redressing grievances. The system was designed with two branches, one to make just laws, and one to apply them consistently by the rules of due process. If laws should be changed to loosen thestringencies ofdue process, thisshould be done in the legislative
branch, not in the courts.

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Commentary on the essay "Thegoal of our legal system should be to administer


due process under the law, not justice."

The thing that determines whether the goal ofour legal system should be to administer due process under the law or to administer justice is which branch of that system you are considering. "The legislative branch ofgovernment isempowered with the ability to make laws, [and] the goal ofthe judicial branch [is] to interpret these laws in application to specific circumstances...These two branches ofgovernment really make up our legal system...The goal ofour legal system is to preserve social harmony by providing an impartial, fair, uniform method for
redressing grievances. The system ivas designed with two branches, one to make just laws, and one to apply them consistently by the rules ofdue
process."

Many students struggle with this topic statement chiefly because they interpret
the words "legal system" to refer only to what goes on in a courtroom; and as soon
as they adopt the cynical position that courtrooms are not in the business of

dispensing justice, the phrase "criminal justice system" rings rather hollow wherever it appears in their essays. The writer neatly sidesteps that snare at the

outset ofthis well-conceived and beautifully executed essay by saying that "many people (perhaps including the author of this statement) think of the legal system as being only the judicial branch" of government. The topic statement thus may bethe kind ofcomment uttered bysomeone who gets angry when they see judges
overturning laws that it took legislators a long time to hammer out, to make them

as fair and equitable as possible to everyone to whom they might ever apply.
(Never mind the bargaining and compromises that went on behind the scenes!) Ineffect, from that person's point of view, such judges are usurping the legislative
branch's powers by succumbing to "the [very great] temptation...for courts to overstep their role and to attempt to apply justice directly from the bench, based more on an intuitive sense of what seems right, rather than due process." Following due process is what the speaker of the topicstatementwould see as the proper function of judges, lawyers, and police officers, and everyone connected with the criminaljusticesystem being administered in jailsand courtrooms across
the land.

And the temptation for judges to bend the strict rules of due process in many cases is so very great, because it isevident that their courts are "invariably clogged up with lengthy and expensive trials. Worse still, many defendants areable to get away with their crimes, due to technicalities, such as improper search warrants. At times, many people want to do awaywith such technicalities, which serveonly as a means for criminals to go free. There is a perceived need [by some judges and many private citizens] to protect the public and stop coddling criminals..." All of this development of the main theme shows a familiarity and willingness on the writer's part to deal with the real-life complexities, as well as the more abstract conceptual problems, lurking behind the topic statement: theannoyance ofjudges
and police officers-and anyone who ever called in to a talk-radio show-

regarding criminals who seem to have more rights than their victims. This essay isexceptional for its organization and clarity, and for its treatment in some depth
of an intricate social and legal problem. The writer's neat and sensibleconclusion,

expressed in a clear criterion statement, repeats the formulation of the opening


paragraph.

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Political and legal issues, philosophy, and anything dealing with the arts are the things toward which most pre-med students in our review courses voice an aversion,both for reading Verbal Reasoning passages and for composing Writing Sample essays. But this essay could have been written by anyone who had an eighth-grade civics class on the separation of powers in American government, plus a little time invested in reading the newspapers to stay abreast of current
issues.

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"Art, like science, is more process than product."


Art can be defined as pretty much any form of creative expression-visual, dance, music, poetry, etc. In all cases, there are no absolutes. Art is a personal process of drawing on one's own human experience and playing with it. It can be therapeutic, totally entrepreneurial, or anywhere in between. Its point is often not the product,
but the process of creativity.

Science can be viewed in a similar vein. Butwhere art is about totally subjective personal experience, science is about uncovering the universal truths of our world. It is completely objective, yet it also encompasses the same concept of process. One can never truly predict the outcome of scientific endeavor, just as one can never predict the final product of an artistic outpouring. Scientists must always strive to uncover new knowledge, an experientialquest. So again, science is really a processof discovery. When either art or science sets its goal to production alone, something is lost from the process. For art, the process becomes turned into craft and the personality of the artist as creator is lost. Similarly, science becomes technology, and the scientist is now a technician. For example, in designing a better car engine, one is not really looking to uncover any universal truths about thermodynamics. The scientist/technician is merely trying to meet the demands of the car company to find a better engine.
However, we must give time to the rebuttal of this argument, which quite naturally is that without product,
how will the rest of the world ever know about one's creative artistic or scientific endeavors? In the case of the

artist, there is a manifest need to express something within, and the medium of expression is the product. One may be the world's greatest composer, but without a symphony to show one's talents, the world will never

appreciate this fact. The inspiration for artists is, naturally enough, often the work of other artists, which is to say
their products.

The same applies for science. Discovery for personal satisfaction can be very rewarding, but only by some tangible product, such as new methods or inventions, can this discovery be conveyed to the rest of the world. For science, the product can come in the form of papers and similar condensations of the scientist's progress.
In the end, we see that both science and art need both process and product. Process alone leaves the creative endeavor as a personal experience with no means of transmission to other people. Product without process is not
really art or science, but just craft and technology.

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Commentary on the essay "Art, like science, is more process than product."

The thing that determines whether art or science is more process than
product is whether we view either discipline from the perspective

of personal satisfaction or general utility. From the perspective of personal satisfaction: "Art can be defined as...any form of creative expression...a personal process of drawing on one's own human experience and playing with it. It can be therapeutic, totally entrepreneurial, or anywhere in between. Its point is often not the product, but the process ofcreativity. Science can be viewed in a similar vein, [asa personal striving] to uncover newknowledge, an experiential quest....a process ofdiscovery." From the perspective ofgeneral utility: "When either art or science sets its goal to production alone, something is lost from the process. For art, the process becomes turned into craft and the personality of the artist as creator is lost. Similarly, science becomes technology, and the scientist is now a technician." Artists need products toshare their talents and to inspire others, while scientists also find the products of scientific research useful to give new goods and
inventions to the world.

The criteria used to carry out the third task of this essay are not all found together in one place (although they are shown that way on this page, above), so one might fault the writer for a lapse in coherent presentation style. The counter-examples also could have been more specific; e.g., the third sentence of the fourth paragraph could have begun: "Beethoven might have been the greatest composer of his age..." But these criticisms are small, weighed against the much greater strengths of this essay. They probably would not be enough to deprive the writer of a score of 6, and he certainly should not be awarded anything below a 5. This is, after all is said and done, a very fluent treatment of a topic where one can easily lose their footing. Many essays ask the student to contrast art and science, rather than to compare them with each other. The differences in their methods and in their goals offer only two obvious examples of that contrast. And the writer here does acknowledge the dissimilarity between the "totally subjective" realm of art (where "there are no absolutes") and the "completely objective world" of the scientist, in which one attempts to unveil "the universal truths of our world." But he wisely emphasizes their similarities more, as the wording of the topic statement indicates he must do. He talks, for example, about the unpredictability and the personal nature of a quest in both artistic creativity and scientific research. Throughout the essay, the same structure is repeated: A point is made about artistic pursuits, followed by a comparison to science: "Science can be viewed in a similar vein...Similarly, science becomes technology...The same applies for science," and
soon.

Through skillful use of this recurrent structure and a nimble writing style, the writer seems to loop effortlessly back and forth, moving from art to science, and

from process to product, without ever falling into a superficial treatment of the topic. The writer's mental agility is reflected in the paragraph structure as wellsix brief ones, with smooth transitions starting each new idea, rather than the

typical three- or four-paragraph method one comes to expect as the standard in Writing Sample essays. If we follow the logic offered in the sentences of this essay, we can gain some clarity about the way we use the terms "art" and "science" Copyright by TheBerkeley Review 126 The Berkeley Review
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in our own everyday speech. Thus, saying that "Rembrandt was devoted to his

art" means the Dutch painter was devoted to the process of perfecting his painting style with each new canvas he worked on; but saying "Rembrandt left the world a
magnificent legacy of art" makes a statement about the tangible products he left in homes, galleries, and museums around the world, still enjoyed by collectors and studied by novices centuries after his death. The same statements carry a similar
value, if we substitute "Einstein" for "Rembrandt," and the word "science" for "art"
both times.

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"The price of something will not always reflect its value."


Saying that the price of something will not always reflect its value means that the cost you pay for a thing is not necessarily the same as what that thing is worth to you. In fact, certain items with exceedingly high personal value, like the dried flower pressed in a high-school yearbook, might be absolutely free. When we say something is "priceless," we don't mean it is "worthless." We mean it is invaluable or possesses a worth too great to be
assigned any price.

On the other hand, you often hear people say: "You get what you pay for." There are good reasons why you pay more for a Rolls Royce than for a Yugo: the extra material, the better-quality material, more testing and engineering that went into its creation, and the years of craftsmanship devoted to producing its distinctive design. And a Rolls Royce has a universal reputation among car fanciers and the general public as one of the finest
automobiles ever made. But it's not the aesthetic value or the prestige you are paying for, exactly, when you buy a

Rolls Royce or any other expensive car, because if it were, then people who know the most about cars and can most appreciate those kinds of values in them would have to pay more than someone who doesn't. Rather, all anyone pays for are the many pounds of metal in it, the many hours of effort that it represents-the quantifiable units that are the basis for assigning an objective value to anything. It's like saying the price of a medical education is so many dollars, so many years of training and study, so many ATP molecules of energy expendedthose are roughly the same costs paid by any med student. Butwhat that education means to anyone personally,
how much they value it subjectively, only that person can say.

Other clues that you are dealing with the objective, rather than the subjective, value of something: Has the value been established by market pressures of supply and demand, i.e., scarcity and abundance? Is the item in question easily replaceable or interchangeable with other items of the same kind, rather than being unique or irreplaceable? Is it possible to state the value in absolute, rather than only relative, terms? That is, can it be said that item A is exactly 3.26 times more valuable than item B? If the answers are yes, then it's likely this is the kind of value that is approximated by a price.
In the end, the thing that determines whether the price of something reflects its value is the kind of value you are referring to. If you mean the subjective value, then price doesn't reflect it. It can't, because price is essentially always an objective consideration. But the objective value of things can often be approximated by a price. People may have subjective reasons for setting a price, but once set, a price is the same for anyone willing to pay it. Similarly, the objective value of a thing is the same for anyone utilizing it: A gold ring has the same cash value, regardless of who wears it; a hammer has the same instrumental value, regardless of who wields it; a sandwich
has the same number of calories or vitamins, the same nutritional value, regardless of who eats it. But a gold ring that belonged to my grandmother cannot have the same meaning-the same subjective value~for a stranger that it
has for me.

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Commentary on the essay "The price of something will not always reflect its
value."

"The thing that determines whether the price ofsomething reflects its value is the kind of value you are referring to. Ifyou mean the subjective value, then price doesn't reflect it. It can't, because price is essentially always an objective consideration. But the objective value of things can often be approximated by aprice."
The writer of this essay has produced what some of us regard as the standard treatment of one of the perennial favorites of normative essayists: the difference between subjective and objective experience. Very often-far too often-students with a rigorous scientific education come to think of the word "objective" as a synonym for "true," "real," or "undistorted," while they think of "subjective" experience as "biased," "illusory," or "opinionated." Taken to its logical extreme,
this way of looking at experience has put more than one scientist in the bizarre philosophical position of denying the existence of his or her own consciousness or

personality, declaring that both of these subjective constructs are merely


"epiphenomena" or collectively shared hallucinations that float like foam on the

sea of chemicals in each of our brains! We would invite these skeptics to hook themselves up to a device that registers pain in the human nervous system and thendrop a bowling ball from a tableonto their ownbare feet. Can theyseriously
maintain that only the objectively measurable read-out from the machine used in

this experiment is real, and that what they seem to feel is only an illusion?

For the sake of reasonable, persuasive, common-sense argumentation in essays like the ones required for this part of the MCAT, it will be much simpler to adopt the definitions for "objective" and "subjective" experience offered by this writer here, and to use them any time the same distinction is called for: "objective" just means "the same for all observers and participants," and "subjective" means
"different for each observer or participant." We made the same distinction in our

commentary about the subjective nature of justice in the essay about capital punishment in this series of sample essays. Other practice essay topics dealing with the same distinction are the ones asking about whether a journalist should
always be strictly objective, and about whether a scientist should stick to explanations of the natural world, without imparting any personal values to social
or political discourse.

Here we have an essay where task #1 is begun well with a simple paraphrase of the topic statement: "Saying that the price of something will not always reflect its value means that the cost you pay for a thing is not necessarily the same as what that thing is worth to you." The writer follows that up with a supporting example (the sentimental value attached to something that is absolutely free of charge). Then comes a clever bit of deductive logic: If "price does not necessarily equal value" means the same as "cost does not necessarily equal worth," according to the paraphrase, then by substitution we can say that "pricedoes not necessarily equal worth." And by negating both halves of this equation, we get: "priceless does not necessarily equal worthless." In fact, we know from ordinary usage of these terms that they are antonyms. This is more than mere word-play; it tells us something about the deeper levels of meanings embedded in language. Quite a lot to pack
into four short sentences!

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In the next paragraph, beginning the discussion of task #2 that continues into the third paragraph, the writer explores some of the same issues that have perplexed economic theorists since the days of Adam Smith and Karl Marx: How can we assign a dollar value to anything? What determines this kind of evaluation? What is the semantic content of ads that tout a product as "a $5.00 value, now only
$3.99"? And what is the real difference between terms like "cash value," "resale

value," and "property value" on one hand, and "historical value," "artistic value," "personal value," and "symbolic value" on the other? The writer decides by the beginning of paragraph 3 that the broadest terms we can use to describe these two categories of value are "objective" value and "subjective" value~and then goes on to offer the reader a three-part test to decide which kind of value is under discussion in any given situation. The criterion for Task #3 is thus simple: Price, being objective,can be reflected only by objective value, never by subjective value.
Notice that the writer manages to steer clear of the reef upon which some students founder: At no point is either kind of value called the "real" value of something. As we explained at the outset of this commentary, the tendency of science students might be to say that objective value is the only "real" value a thing can have, because it is empirically assessable. This would leave them in the uncomfortable position of saying that children have no "real" value to their parents other than the dollar amount that has been spent to rear them, or perhaps the market value of all the raw chemical compounds in their bodies. Another noteworthy thing about this essay is the apparent ease with which the writer takes a crack at some of the most profound aspects of the problem under discussion, such as what we mean by the word "meaning" itself (look at the final sentences of the second and fourth paragraphs).
This essay is rich in examples (one of them, the gold ring in the last paragraph, is even used twice-once to show what is meant by objective value, and again to suggest subjective value). It is focused and direct in its analysis of a complex topic, and it could not be clearer in its definition of essential terms or in the

wording of its final criterion. It is a paper to study and learn from, an exemplar of concise essay writing style, a model worthy of imitation.

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"That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number."
What makes any action the best one to do in a given situation? If we rely on the advice of religious
authorities to answer this question, they might direct us to the words of the Bible, the Koran, or some other sacred

text. They would say the best action is the one that most pleases God. Politicians or businessmen might tell us that the best action is the one that produces thebestresults, regardless of how they are attained or how much we mustbend the rules to get them. Usually, theirsacred text is the pollster's survey or the bottom lineof a financial sheet. But a philosopher might advise us touse the power ofreason to find the answer, and for some philosophers

the most reasonable guideline is that the best action isthe one that makes as many people as possible as happy as
possible.

This was an especially attractive solution to many eighteenth-century European intellectuals, as the traditional authority of priests and kings began to erode and the new authority of science and reason increased. Philosophers like Jeremy Bentham actually tried to formulate a moral calculus to assist any rational individual

confronting the problem ofchoosing the best course ofaction in any situation. Bentham said the ultimate goal of
society and of the individual should be to bringabout the greatest happiness for the greatest number. He called this philosophy "utilitarianism." In practice, one could just sit down and weigh the costs versus the benefits to
everyone that were likely to result from choosingany availableoption, and whichever column had more checks in it would dictate the correctaction to take. It is said the German philosopher Immanuel Kant decided whether to
marry a particular woman of his acquaintance by a similar method!

It must be admitted, however, that there are many actions whose consequences we would deem desirableeven the best-although those actions make most people angry, frightened, or unhappy. For example, nobody likes a tax increase (although everybody likes roads without potholes and a responsive fire department); or getting a flu shot (although everybody likes getting through the winter without a sniffle); or putting money into a retirement account, where it stays until you're 65 (although most retired folks seem to enjoy taking those sunny vacations). Somaybe what helps us decide whether the best action is the one that procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number is how we define "happiness." If it means the immediate gratification of every appetite and desire, and the avoidance of anything inconvenient or painful, then it is difficult to justifypaying any taxes at all using the utilitarian rule, let alone bothering with flu shots or retirement funds. But if it refers to long-term satisfaction, even if the price is delayed gratification of our wants and needs, then the utilitarian guide has much to
recommend it.

This is not all we can say about the matter, though. Sometimes the goodness of an action is judged not by how good its outcome is, but by how good the intentions of the moral agent are when he or she acts, regardless of the outcome. People are fallible and cannot predict the future with certainty. Some carefully thought-out, wellintended actions make everyone involved very unhappy, even in the long run. If we use goodness of intentions as our criterion for determining the best action, then the utilitarian principle will often be insufficient for guiding us
toward making the best decision in many situations, especially those whose outcome is hard to foretell, because it

justifies all actions only in terms of their results, regardless of intentions. Sometimes all we can do is pick the lesserof two evils, and sometimes the worst choiceof all is to do nothing.

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Commentary on the essay "That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number."

The writer analyzes the topic statement two ways, one focusing on the definition of a key term, and the other focusing on different ways of justifyingany action:

The thing that determines whether the best action is the one that procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number is how we define the word "happiness." "If it means the immediate gratification ofevery appetite and desire, and the avoidance ofanything inconvenient orpainful, then it is difficult tojustify paying any taxes at all using the utilitarian rule [i.e., the philosophy expressed by the topic statement], let alone bothering withflu shots or retirement funds. But if it refers to long-term satisfaction, even if the price is delayed gratification ofour wants and needs, then the utilitarian guide has much
to recommend it."
And:

The thing that determines whether the best action is the one that procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number is the extent to which one believes that the goodness of any action is justified by its results, regardless of the intentions of the moral agent when

they took that action. "If we use goodness of intentions as our criterion for determining the best action, then the utilitarian principle willoften be insufficientforguiding us toward making the best decision in many situations, especially those whose outcome is hard toforetell, because it justifies allactions only in terms of their results, regardless of
intentions."

This essay is an excellent specimen showing you what happens when you actually bother to pay attention in all those history, philosophy, and religious studies electives you have had to take over the years. The specific references to Jeremy Bentham and Immanuel Kant may look like nothing more than name-dropping or showing off on the writer's part, but they are very much on the mark as far as naming the men whose philosophical writings were most absorbed with the question of weighing intentions against outcomes as the yardstick to be used in ethical discourse. Kant, by the way, may (or may not) have used the rather utilitarian method for selecting a wife alluded to by the writer, but he was one philosopher who gave greater weight to good intentions, rather than maximum utility, in his evaluation of the goodness of any and all actions. Like Jesus or
Nazareth (the Christ) and Gautama Siddhartha (the Buddha), Kant had a basic rule of moral conduct that was a version of the Golden Rule, except he claimed his

rule was logically demonstrable, rather than divinely inspired. Opposed to them is Niccolo Machiavelli, a political theorist living in Renaissance Florence, the patron saint of everyone who believes that "the ends justify the means" (or in its modern incarnations: "By any means necessary!" and: "Hey, you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet!").

All of this is leading to the practical point, often raised in class and in officehours, as to whether it is a good idea to use quotes in the essays. Generally, there is nothing wrong with this practice, as long as they are effectively placed to highlight a key point in your argument and not stuck in wherever they happen to

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occur to you, and as long as they are genuine and not fabricated. Machiavelli's pithy little maxim (which is actually the reworking of a much older statement

found in the letters of St. Jerome) is used more often than any other direct quote by students in our review courses when they are writing justification essays-not necessarily because everyone subscribes to it, but apparently because it is so easy
to remember. Rarely is the quote attributed to the famous Florentine, however,

either because students are unsure as to who uttered the phrase, or because they
are unsure as to how his name is spelled. Quotations do look more impressive when credit is given to a source (properly spelled), but bear in mind that
occasional errors in spelling are not marked down too hard-this is, after all, a

first-draft effort. If you cannot recall the precise wording of a quote, but if you
can state its essence in your own words, try expressing it as a paraphrase, without quotation marks. Many famous quotes are regularly misquoted or used for purposes other than the one intended by their originator. Maybe a few hours thumbing through a collection of famous quotations, as part of your outside reading, will plant some choice words of wisdom in your mind. Remember also that the scorers for this part of the MCATvery probably include a few editors and writing instructors who have seen their share of really good counterfeits over the years, so even though they are reading these essays very rapidly, they know what to watch out for. Themost prudent policy, again, is not to make up any quotes on
the Writing Sample.

Justification essays typically do not ask for definitions as much as reasons-

specifically, reasons that make some action excusable or forgivable that otherwise would be unacceptable. The two chief modes of justification are: (1) the Machiavellian, consequentialist, or utilitarian mode, which judges an action in terms of its utility or the overall desirability of its outcomes, regardless of what the writer calls "the intentions of the moral agent..when he or she acts"; and (2) the Kantian or intentionalist mode, which considers the goodness or badness of the intentions behind an action, regardless of the consequences. Imagine, as extreme examples, two scientists working side by side in adjoining laboratories.
One works long hours for little pay and seeks the cure for cancer, but inadvertently finds a horribly effective nerve gas used to kill millions. The other

sells his scientific know-how to the highest bidder, a chemical firm trying to develop a horribly effective nerve gas-but he accidentally discovers the cure for
cancer. The dilemma (and hence the Great Justification Debate): Whose actions

are to be judged the best, and on what basis is this judgment to be made?

Pay attention to the dynamics implied in these so-called "justification essays," because they occur frequently in many forms in normative writing. Examples of topic statements of this type would include: "It is always wrong to lie," "Killing is
never justified," "In politics, bad results cannot be justified by good intentions," and "No matter how oppressive a government is, violent revolution is never justified." To maintain consistency and coherence in your argument of such essays, it is a good idea not to start justifying an action by one mode of justification at the beginning of the paper and then end up using the other mode

of justification for your conclusion. It is also not very constructive to say: "The moral agent's intentions were good, because he always intended to get the best
results, no matter whom he had to kill to get them. Therefore, his actions are justified by the goodness of his intentions." This is just playing around with the word "best," and it doesn't fool anyone, so avoid it altogether.

The thing that someone accused of bad actions must plead in their own defense in order to use the intentionalist mode of justification successfully is, to come full circle, some version of the Golden Rule. Here the Rule would read: If you could

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use whatever my excuse is to justify your own behavior in the same circumstances, then you must excuse my behavior. If you would use lethal force to defend your own life, then you must excuse my use of it to defend my life. If

you can be forgiven for doing action X because you had insufficient knowledge,
insufficient time to act, no other options, or were otherwise constrained by limiting factors beyond your control, then you must forgive me for doing the
same action when constrained by the same limiting factors.

Why go into all of this here? We do so because this particular topic statement is a pure distillation in one sentence of the philosophy that favors the consequentialist mode of justification over the intentionalist mode, and the writer was bright enough to understand on some level that this was what confronted him. He could have taken the easy way out, and simply treated the matter solely as a "definition essay," one whose criterion in Task #3 always says: "The thing that determines whether option A or option B is more applicable is how we define
term Y. If we define it this way, then go with option A as the better way to

understand the problem. But if we define it that way instead, then option B has the edge." Some people, in fact, try to answer every MCAT essay prompt by saying that everything hinges on how you define this term or that term in the topic statement-an indiscriminate approach that in some cases is only slightly less useless than saying for Task #3: "Well,it all depends on the circumstances!" or "It all depends on the individual!" (That kind of criterion statement for Task #3 would represent the abandonment of any obligation to think critically or to communicate clearly about the subject matter at all, a complete failure to engage
with the thesis.) And while some essay resolutions very clearly do rest on the way one defines or understands a certain word or phrase in the topic statement, the exclusive reliance on this technique is to be avoided. Its unnecessarily litigious tone when used in some essays has won for this method of resolution the unflattering nickname of "the lawyer's escape hatch."

At any rate, the writer of this essay sees definition as one possible solution-to say that our agreement with the statement depends to a large extent on how we define the concept of "happiness". He could have stopped there and gotten a mark above the average score range, based on his mastery of language skills and his entertaining introduction and examples. Then he stops, collects his thoughts, and adds almost as an afterthought: "This is not all we can say about the matter, though," and proceeds to outline the Great Justification Debate, as well as a completely different criterion for Task #3 in line with that, all in a single, wellcrafted paragraph. Thisessayis excellent in terms of its depth and complexity.

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Notes

Notes

Writing Sample

If you study it, it will come!

SM

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