Bullying is common to see amongst children.

Bullying occurs at all ages but is most prevalent during the middle school years. What is bullying? Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Some of the ways they bully other people are by calling them names, saying or writing nasty things about them, leaving them out of activities, not talking to them, threatening them, making them feel uncomfortable or scared, taking or damaging their things, hitting or kicking them, or making them do things they don't want to do. Have any of these things happened to you? Have you done any of these things to someone else? Really, bullying is wrong behaviour which makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable. Bullying can make young people feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school any more. It may make them sick. Besides, you have a right to feel safe and secure. If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust. They might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family or other people. If u are a bully, think about why you did it and how you were feeling at the time. If you are sometimes a bully, try to find other ways to make yourself feel good. It is best to treat others the way you would like to be treated. Bullying can be caused by a lot of reasons. One of them is all bullies have certain attitudes and behaviors in common. They have contempt for the weak and view them as their prey. Besides, bullies are not born that way, although certain genetic traits are often present. Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) are more likely to become bullies. However, bullying is a learned behavior, not a character trait. Apart from that, bullies come from all backgrounds. Girls are just as likely as boys to bully and abuse others verbally, although boys are three times more likely to be physically abusive. Besides, bullies are often victims of bullies themselves and also have immature social skills and believe other children are more aggressive than they actually are. Besides, a bully's parents may be permissive and unable to set limits on their child's behaviour. His parents may have been abused themselves as children and view disciplinary measures as a form of child abuse and also a bully's parents often discipline inconsistently.

Bullying caused a lot of negative impact. Bullying negatively affects both the child being victimized and the child who is the bully. Children who are bullied can suffer from low self esteem and other emotional problems and children who do the bullying are much more likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol later in life. Apart from that, being bullied is a very stressful ordeal for children. The victims of bullies often loose self esteem, start having trouble in school, and withdraw from friends and activities. Beside that, a bully who is never taught appropriate ways to deal with their problems will most likely continue being aggressive and bullying others into their adult life. Bullies are also more likely to commit crimes and be involved in illegal activity when they get older and lastly the painful memories of bullying can cause victims problems in the future. Based on the teks above, we can conclude that bullying causes a lot of effects and negatively affects both the child being victimized and the child who is the bully. We need to overcome this problem as soon as possible before it become worst. If the environment at your school supports bullying, working to change it can help.

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REFERENCE

http://www.nobully.org.nz/advicek.htm

http://www.byparents-forparents.com/causesbullies.html

http://www.articleclick.com/Article/The-Effects-of-Bullying/956465

Why is bullying harmful? Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can make young people feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school any more. It may make them sick. What can you do if you are being bullied? Coping with bullying can be difficult, but remember, you are not the problem, the bully is. You have a right to feel safe and secure. And if you're different in some way, be proud of it! Kia Kaha - stand strong. Spend time with your friends - bullies hardly ever pick on people if they're with others in a group. You've probably already tried ignoring the bully, telling them to stop and walking away whenever the bullying starts. If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust. This isn't telling tales. You have a right to be safe and adults can do things to get the bullying stopped. Even if you think you've solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again. An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family or whanau, or a friend's parent. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what's been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust. What can you do if you see someone else being bullied? If you see someone else being bullied you should always try to stop it. If you do nothing, you're saying that bullying is okay with you. It's always best to treat others the way you would like to be treated. You should show the bully that you think what they're doing is stupid and mean. Help the person being bullied to tell an adult they can trust.

Are you a bully? Have you ever bullied someone else? Think about why you did it and how you were feeling at the time. If you are sometimes a bully, try to find other ways to make yourself feel good. Most bullies aren't liked, even if it starts out that way. Remember, it's best to treat others the way you would like to be treated. How to spot a bully in your workplace If you have a serial bully on the staff they will reveal themselves by their department showing excessive rates of

staff turnover sickness absence stress breakdowns deaths in service ill-health retirements early retirements uses of disciplinary procedures grievances initiated suspensions dismissals uses of private security firms to snoop on employees litigation including employment tribunals or legal action against employees

Types of bullying Pressure bullying or unwitting bullying is where the stress of the moment causes behaviour to deteriorate; the person becomes short-tempered, irritable and may shout or swear at others. Everybody does this from time to time, but when the pressure is removed, behaviour returns to normal, the person recognises the inappropriateness of their behaviour, makes amends, and may apologise, and crucially - learns from the experience so that next time the situation arises they are

better able to deal with it. This is "normal" behaviour and I do not include pressure bullying in my definition of workplace bullying.
Why me?

There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are consistent between cases. There are many myths and stereotypes such as "victims are weak" which I deconstruct on my myths page. Bullying often repeats because the reasons that bullies target their victims don't change, hence this section also answers the questions "Why do I keep getting bullied" and "Why do bullies continue to bully me?".

What Causes Bullies?

by Jane St. Clair Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people to feel better about themselves. While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school, new research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills. They enjoy being cruel to others and sometimes use bullying as an anger management tool, the way a normally angry person would punch a pillow. All bullies have certain attitudes and behaviors in common. Bullies dominate, blame and use others. They have contempt for the weak and view them as their prey. They lack empathy and foresight, and do not accept responsibility for their actions. They are concerned only about themselves and crave attention. Bullies are not born that way, although certain genetic traits are often present. Some children's personalities are naturally more aggressive, dominating and/or impulsive. Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) are more likely to become bullies. However, having such inborn traits does not mean that a child will automatically become a bully. Bullying is a learned behavior, not a character trait. Bullies can learn new ways to curb their aggression and handle conflicts. Bullies come from all backgrounds. Researchers have not been able to find a link between bullies and any particular religion, race, income level, divorce, or any other socio-economic factor. Girls are just as likely as boys to bully and abuse others verbally, although boys are three times more likely to be physically abusive.

There are different types of bullies produced in different types of homes. Author Susan Coloraso identifies seven kinds of bullies. Among them are the hyperactive bully who does not understand social cues and therefore reacts inappropriately and often physically. The detached bully plans his attacks and is charming to everyone but his victims. The social bully has a poor sense of self and manipulates others through gossip and meanness. The bullied bully gets relief from his own sense of helplessness by overpowering others. Bullies are often victims of bullies themselves. According to Dr. Peter Sheras, 40% of bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school. Dr. Nathaniel Floyd's research shows that a victim at home is more likely to be a bully at school. The reason may be that when a bully watches another child appear weak and cowering, it disturbs him because it reminds him of his own vulnerability and behavior at home. Bullies have immature social skills and believe other children are more aggressive than they actually are. If you brush up against a bully, he may take it as a physical attack and assault you because "you deserve it, you started it," etc. Drs. Kenneth Dodge and John Coie's research indicates that bullies see threats where there are none, and view other children as more hostile than they are. The hyperactive bully will explode over little things because he lacks social skills and the ability to think in depth about a conflict. A bully's parents may be permissive and unable to set limits on their child's behavior. From early on, the bully can do whatever he wants without clear consequences and discipline. His parents may have been abused themselves as children and view disciplinary measures as a form of child abuse. While their lax style may have been fine for an easy-going, older sibling, it will not work on this more aggressive child. This bully may be allowed to dominate younger siblings and even take over his entire family - everything will revolve around his agenda.

A bully's parents often discipline inconsistently. If his parents are in a good mood, the child gets away with bad behavior. If the same parent is under stress, he or she will take it out in angry outbursts against the child. This child never internalizes rules of conduct or respect for authority. Self-centered, neglectful parents can create a cold, calculating bully. Since his parents do not monitor his activities or take an interest in his life, he learns to abuse others when no authority figure is looking. His bullying can be planned and relentless, as he constantly humiliates his victim, often getting other children to join him. A bully has not learned empathy and compassion. The parents of bullies often have prejudices based on race, sex, wealth and achievement. Other people are just competitors who stand in the way. Their child must always be the best in sports or academics, and others must be kept in an inferior position. A University of Chicago study led suggested that bullies watch more aggression on television and in family interactions. Aggression is rewarded and respected, and humiliating others is tolerated. Compassion and empathy seem like weaknesses.

The Effects of Bullying Bullying negatively affects both the child being victimized and the child who is the bully. There are always short-term affects and if the bullying is severe enough there can also be long term effects. Children who are bullied can suffer from low self esteem and other emotional problems and children who do the bullying are much more likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol later in life. Bullying should not be taken lightly as it can cause serious problems for all the children involved.

Being bullied is a very stressful ordeal for children. Many bullying victims are reluctant to talk about their experiences making it even harder to help them. While it is possible for children to learn to ignore and not be bothered by bullying, they are usually stressed out when bullying attacks occur. The victims of bullies often loose self esteem, start having trouble in school, and withdraw from friends and activities. If it is not stopped and continues for long enough, children can suffer these problems permanently.

Bullying victims can suffer from long-term effects of bullying if it was severe enough. Bullying victims are more likely to have social and depression issues later in life. Children who were constantly bullied may have a hard time forming friendships and fitting in with others throughout their lives. Most bullying victims suffer no long-term effects of bullying but it can happen if nothing is done to stop the bullying early on.

Bullies usually have their own problems that cause them to pick on others and if they are allowed to continue bullying these problems may never be resolved. Bullies often have friends but these relationships are destructive and only help to perpetuate bullying. The effects of bullying on bullies are usually frequent trouble in school and at home. Bullies can also suffer long term problems if they are allowed to continue bullying others.

Bullies who are not stopped early can suffer from long term effects. A bully who is never taught appropriate ways to deal with their problems will most likely continue being aggressive and bullying others into their adult life. Bullies are also more likely to commit crimes and be involved in illegal activity when they get older. Bullies will often have a hard time making friends and maintain friendships as the friends who support bullying are not quality relationships to be in. Bullies may never learn how to effectively problem solve if they are given other ways to respond when the bullying problem first arises.

While most cases of bullying do not result in any long-term effects, the painful memories of bullying can cause victims problems in the future. For bullies, the inability to cope with problems in a healthy way may lead to serious trouble in the future. Because the possibility exists for these types of problems, bullying must be taken seriously and dealt with accordingly. It is important to stop bullying early so both the bully and the victim do not suffer from any long term affects. A few interesting observations of factors that seem to lessen the negative impact that bullying has on people have come to my attention during the process of cataloging the ways that bullying can mess you up. For instance: Perception of Control A 2004 Spanish college student sample study suggests that there is a direct relationship between victim's perception of control over their bullying experience and the extent of long term difficulties they experience as a result of bullying. This is to say, that bullied students who believed they were able to influence and/or escape their bullies reported fewer negative long term effects from having been bullied than did students who felt helpless to influence their situation while it was happening. Perception of control (and not reality of control) was key in this study, as no relationship was found between the various ways that students coped with being bullied and how they turned out.

I can see the outline of a mechanism working here (where students who believed they still had control over their situations avoided developing learned helplessness and therefore had less of a chance of experiencing depression). However the study doesn't really help us to know what to recommend that people do to lessen their chances of long term problems. Remember, it didn't matter what the students actually did; it only mattered what they believed. If we go with the idea that believing you have control over events is important then the thing to do if you are being bullied is to keep persevering in your efforts to stop the bullying as though those efforts will result in your being able to get the bullying to stop. No single thing you do may actually stop the bullying from happening, but the effect of continually working under the assumption that you haven't tried all options and may still get the bullying to stop may do the trick. And, of course, you might actually get the bullying to stop because of something you do or don't do. Rather than try to control the past (which is impossible), it might make more sense for hurting victims to get themselves to focus on what they can control in the present, for the benefit of their future happiness and fulfillment. As the poet George Herbert's classic phrase wisely advises us, "living well is the best revenge". Early Exposure The age at which kids are first bullied seems to be important according to some research. Young children who are first bullied during their pre-teen years appear to be less negatively impacted in the long term than are children who are first bullied as teens. People first bullied as young children report experiencing higher long-term stress levels than do people who were never bullied. However, people who were first bullied as teens report more long term social withdrawal and more reactivity to violence than other groups. There is a greater tendency towards the use of selfdestructive coping mechanisms in the first-bullied-as-teens group, and an interesting but hard to make sense of sex difference, where women tend to become more aggressive as a result of their bullying experience, and men to demonstrate a greater tendency to abuse substances. I can't help but wonder if the increased independence and emancipation that teens enjoy makes them more likely to

experiment with and then get locked into maladaptive coping strategies like substance abuse than their younger peers. Social Support Finally, multiple researchers point to the protective effect that a good social support network has with regard to bully victim's short and long term outcomes. Having supportive family members and peers around who can be confided in when one has been bullied and who can offer support and advice tends to lessen bullying's impact. There are a number of reasons why it makes sense that a supportive social network should help, but one of them deserves to be made explicit. Namely, that when a bullying victim is surrounded by and bought into a supportive social network, they are receiving many positive messages about their worth from network members, and there are thus fewer opportunities for bullies' negative messages to find purchase and grow to take over self-esteem. If bullies can only succeed in harming people physically; if they do not succeed in harming them emotionally or harming their identities, then relatively little lasting damage can be done. Undoing the Damage If the primary damage that bullying causes is damage to identity and self-esteem, then taking steps to repair identity and self-esteem are in order for people looking to heal from past bullying experiences. What needs to heal, in most cases, is not the physical body, but rather, identity and self-concept. Bullied people need to learn how to feel safe again in the world (or safe enough). They need to learn that they are acceptable people who have something to offer other people. They need to feel in more control over their moods and urges. They need to feel again that if they set their mind to something that they can hope to accomplish it. These are not modest goals, by any chance, but they are the sorts of things that bullying victims need to think about working on.