Faith and Doubt John 20: 19-31 April 7, 2013 Rev.

Deborah Dail Denbigh Presbyterian Church Scripture: John 20: 19-31 When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace be with you. After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you. When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained. But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, We have seen the Lord. But he said to them, Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe. A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace be with you. Then he said to Thomas, Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe. Thomas answered him, My Lord and my God! Jesus said to him, Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

Sermon: I love to dance. I always have. My cousin Donna, my friend Cindy and I would dress up in 50s style clothing and dance our version of the jitterbug in the basement of my house. (I now know what my mother felt like having us dress up in 50s clothing because kids now have 80s parties and dress like my contemporaries and I did in the 80s. Even back in the basement of my home dancing with my cousin and friend, I knew the truth. Im not a good dancer, despite my love for dancing. So I have taken to heart the little saying Dance like no one is watching. Dancing with another person is a real art. Some couples glide across the floor with such ease. Its as if they are one person. Some of us, when dancing with another person, mostly get tangled up and step on each others toes. I think faith and doubt dance together in most of our lives. Both are present for most of us. Sometimes the dance with faith and doubt is one of ease. The two co-exist in our lives as if they are one and we glide through our life of faith with relative ease. But sometimes, and for some of us more than others, faith and doubt get tangled up and step on each others toes. It can be uncomfortable and awkward. Sometimes we trip and fall. Thomas, one of the disciples of Jesus, has been nick-named Doubting Thomas because of his willingness to ask honest questions of Jesus and about Jesus. Thomas was nick-named Doubting Thomas because he danced like no one was looking. Even when the dance steps of faith and doubt were awkward, even when he felt tangled up, even when faith and doubt stepped on each others toes, he let other people know. He kept dancing and not everyone liked or understood what they saw. I admire Thomas. I admire his faith and his honest doubt. And, its interesting to note that Thomas only asked for what Jesus had voluntarily shown the other disciples in Thomas absence. Writer David Henson comments: It hardly seems fair (that Thomas is branded as the archetypal doubter, the skeptic that demanded proof). He wasnt the only disciple in the Christian gospels to express disbelief or doubt at the reports of resurrection. Peter and John both had to see the empty tomb for themselves rather than rely on the word of some hysterical women. But its also unfair because it doesnt quite fit with who Thomas is. When all evidence pointed to the contrary, Thomas stuck around, in spite of his doubts, waiting to see if Jesus would return. What, I wonder, made him stay, after such an adamant refusal to believe his friends reports?

Perhaps he wanted to see if Jesus was true to his word, that he would, as he had once promised, go at all costs in search of the one lost sheep wandering in the darkness. Maybe he wanted to prove his friends wrong. Maybe he had something deeper than belief in the resurrection. Maybe he had faith in his Lord. So he waited in the darkness of his own unbelief for the ghost of God to reappear and breathe on him, too. This, to me (Henson says), is more difficult and more courageous than the simple act of believing. That Thomas waits, while disbelieving, is the very definition of faithfulness, if not faith itself. (Easter for Doubters: The Unexpected Faith of Thomas by David Henson in Patheos) I love what Presbyterian minister and writer Frederick Buechner said about doubt: Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep us awake and moving. I would add that doubts not only keep us awake and moving, they also keep us dancing. Though the dance may be unsightly at times, the dance of doubt and faith keeps us awake and moving, exploring and investigating. In my research for todays sermon I happened upon a 2006 piece written by news anchor Katie Couric. Katie is a Presbyterian who worships at The Brick Presbyterian Church. She reflects on a sermon preached by Michael Lindvall on our passage for today. In his sermon Lindvall quoted American theologian Paul Tillich who insisted that doubt isnt the opposite of faith, but rather an element o f faith. Lindvall also quotes Jewish Rabbi Jonathan Sacks on what might be titled The Guide to Faithfully Living Your Doubts. Rabbi Sacks presents three conditions. First Condition: Ask questions. Push and probe, object perhaps to the precipice of doubt but as you ask, be open to answers. The fact is that answers only come when you entertain the possibility of actually learning something. Second Condition: You must accept the limits of your understanding . Third Condition: Realize that we learn by doing. You learn to ride a bicycle by riding a bicycle . . . there is no such thing as theoretical bicycle riding and there is no such thing as theoretical faith. To summarize: Bring an honest readiness to learn. Bring the awareness that human understanding has its limits, and the deepest kind of knowing may be beyond its long arms. You learn through doing. You grow faith by living in faith.

You learn to ride a bicycle by riding a bicycle. The road itself is the teacher. (Katie Couric quoting Rabbi Jonathan Sacks in Katie: The Importance of Faith . . . and Doubt, November 20, 2006, Couric and Co). Perhaps the same is true of dancing. You learn to dance by dancing. You learn the dynamic and awkward steps of the dance of faith and doubt by allowing belief and doubt to co-exist, even when they step on each others toes; even when one causes the other to fall down for a time. We learn to believe by honestly expressing our doubts and by honestly seeking the answers; by honestly believing, even when we dont have all the answers. May God grant us the grace and strength to live by faith. May God grant us the grace to live the beautiful, complex and sometimes awkward dance of faith and doubt. Sing I Danced in the Morning (Lord of the Dance)