1 Amber Garza December 2nd 2011 Dr.

Peterson Introduction to Communications A Family (Cultural) Affair Throughout my entire life I was raised to believe that family was everything. Growing up with no brothers or sisters was difficult for me, but thankfully I have the most amazing cousins that more than filled the empty void of not having siblings. I have two sets of three immediate cousins and although I love both sets, one of the two has really stepped in to fill the sibling role. My three cousins that have become much closer to me are: Nasser who is twenty-one, Omar who is nineteen, and Alia who is the same age as me, eighteen. Alia and I have always been very close, mainly because we are only months apart in age. We therefore have gone through many of the same stages in life simultaneously. We have always had each other to rely on, learn from, and relate to. In our younger years we were practically inseparable and many people even would even mistake us for twins, yet despite looking, acting, and thinking almost exactly the same, our cultures could not have been more different. I suppose by now you may have already noticed how our cultures differ simply by noticing my cousins names. My cousins are half Islamic and half Hispanic, which I believe is a very interesting combination. However, their Islamic heritage is much more prominent than their Hispanic lineage. Their father, my uncle, has made sure that my cousins where raised in the Islamic faith and customs, often at times upsetting my Aunt who has always valued her background. I wish to talk briefly about my Aunt and Uncles

2 relationship because I have noticed first hand how culture affects a relationship. Regardless of the odds my Aunt and Uncle have faced during their relationship thus far, they are still together and have been married for twenty years now. Culture intensely affects relationships, especially when the cultures differ so drastically. Hispanic cultures tend to be more passionate, outspoken, touchy, and festive while Islamic cultures tend to be more reserved, weary of touching others that are not family, and less outspoken. Although both cultures value family, friends, relationships, and many other things, the differences between the two have always caused friction in my Aunt and Uncles relationship. This cultural difference had also affected the rest of my family. My family had to learn to be respectful of my Uncles culture and to become aware of his cultural beliefs, customs, and celebrations so that they would not accidentally offend him. Another huge difference between the cultures of my Aunt and Uncle is the Religion of both. My Aunt is an outspoken, devoted Catholic, the stereotypical Bible-preaching type. On the other hand, my Uncle is solidly grounded in this Muslim faith, and needless to say this has been the stem of countless arguments between the two. When they had children, my Uncle enforced his religion into the family and so now my three cousins do indeed follow the Muslim faith. Now on to describing my cultural experience. This Thanksgiving break I was finally reunited with my cousins, after a whole semester apart, specifically with Alia who is a freshman at Stanford University this year. I told her about my project and she was more than willing to take me with her to a local mosque here in Austin. I felt much better knowing I would not be going alone and although I would be an outsider, it was beneficial to go with someone who knew much more about the culture than I did. To start

3 off, I would need to be properly dressed so I took a trip to my cousins closet and borrowed a long shirt that covered my arms. I also borrowed a Hijab, which is a shawl, that covers ones head. In the United States traditional attire is not very common, however a mosque is very different and what one wears when visiting is very specific among the Muslim Culture. An example of appropriate attire for a woman would be a Thobe, which vaguely resembles a loose floor length dress. When Alia and I arrived at the North Austin Muslim Community Center on North Lamar, I felt that nervous anticipation, the kind that creeps up into your stomach before you are about to do something new and unfamiliar. Alia gave me a brief summary of everything that was going to happen as we walked into the mosque. Once we were inside I felt as though every eye was on me, and although I was dressed like most of the other women there, I felt like everyone knew I was a foreigner. Before we could go into the main room for prayer we first had to go to wash ourselves. The purification process is known as Wudu and consist of washing each part of the body three times in the order as follows: hands, mouth, nose, face, arms, hair, ears, neck, feet. After we were cleansed we entered the prayer room; this was interesting to me because there were separate entrances for men and women. It was a large room that was divided by a curtain; men sat on the floor on one side and women on the other. Alia and I selected a spot on the floor and waited for the Imam (sermon leader) to arrive. This time was designated for people to reflect and bring themselves at peace. For the next hour I mimic my cousin as best as I could as we went through series of movements. During the time I was there, I noticed many things that were both alike and unlike my religion, Catholicism. Aesthetically I looked much like everyone else, although my

4 skin was slightly lighter than most. What surprised me was how quiet the entire process was. Coming from a very loud Hispanic culture I felt the need to greet everyone and speak to others. Once the prayers had concluded, people made their way outside and then began to greet one another and start conversation, yet that all seemed so odd to me. In my culture, men and women exchange kisses on the cheek when they say hello and in my cousins culture that would have been extremely taboo. Furthermore, a difference that I noticed was the roles that gender played in the culture. Men seemed to have most of the control in conversations while the women stood beside them and quietly chatted to one another. One of the huge differences between my culture and Alias culture was the amount of nonverbal communication that took place throughout the entire process. I felt as though people mainly communicated through gestures, which is something I was not used to. So many subtle movements represented such large meanings, and I felt the need to perfect them out of respect for their culture. Overall the entire experience was an eyeopener for me. I had always known my cousins religion differed from mine because of her culture, but I really had no idea what all was involved. In my eyes my cousin was exactly like me, but now being exposed to her world I respect her involvement and dedication so much more. After the trip to the mosque we went out to eat and we began to talk about her culture and what her experience was like being surrounded by others in school, works, and sports, who did not know much about her culture. Alia told me that she would form relationships with people who later learned that she was Islamic and Muslim, and how these so call friends would begin to treat her differently now knowing her culture differed from the norm. She said that this was a huge problem after 911 happened and

5 that she was upset because she lost friendships over a negative stigmata of her culture and faith. She has firsthand experience with cultural judgment and biases; things that I had no idea were still issues in todays world. The entire experience made me gain respect for every culture and taught me to be more accepting of cultures other than my own. As Americans we truly live in a Melting Pot of cultures. Each culture is unique and has much to offer society and the more people learn to respect each other, the less culturally biased we will become.