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BAD BOY'S DIARY

^naluifcaeo Station

LON DON

FREDERICK WARNE AND

BEDFORD STREET, STRAND

CO.

CONTENTS
Chapteb
I.

How

he Began

it

II.

The Photographs

III. The Party

IV.

n
14
'twas Loaded"
17

The Elopement

V.
VI.
VII.

"He

Didn't

Know

Under the Table

The Little Prestidigitateur
Mister Wilkins Takes His Sister out to Pipe

20
23 2?
O*

VIII.

IX.

He

Helps His Sisters at the Fair

X.
XI.
XII.
XIII.

The Surprise Party

36

He Goes

to Church
.

40
44

He

Becomes a Burglar

The Last Straw

Great Improvement

49
53
57 61
it

XIV.

A He

XV.

He Becomes a Kleptomaniac
is

XVI

Suspended
!

XVII." Goodness Me
XVIII.

was the Cat

a Kite
of April
his

66

He Makes and Flies XIX. He Enjoys the First

XX
.

70

74
78

The

Way He

Earned

Pony

iv

Contents.

CH1

""

XXL He
XXII. In XXIII. Hb

th*. WEDDIMQ to THE ao TO Contrives to

the Lion's
is

Den

Disinherited
.

XXIV-

Fatal Experiment

XXV.

How
He

He Ran

the Balloon

XXVI.
XXVII.

He Runs a Locomotive
Visits the Falls
in

XXVIII. He Takes Part

XXIX.

the Eleciion
.

He Mixes
Hi:
is

in

Politics

XXX. -

Di.v->,i'

raged

A BAD

BOY'S DIARY.
CHAPTER
I.

HOW HE BEGAN
years ole yesterday, an' she says to me " Georgie, wot would you like for a burthday present ?" So I said a " diry," cause all my growed-up sisters keep a diry, an' 1 thought it would be about the figger. I So mamma she got me one. wanted to begin it all rite, so I stole up to Lily's room to copy suthin out o' hern; but she keeps it locked up in her writing-desk, an' I had a offal time getting a key that would
I

IT.

was

ate

an'

mamma

Bess,
fixed

he red this out loud to Lil and which was in the room all
:

up to fits "I wish that stupid ole Bill Smith would keep hisself to home. He came agen Sunday night. I never,
never shall like him but mother says he's wrich an' I must accept him if he offers. Oh, how crewel it is to make me practis such dooplicity It seems as
never, never,

one

bit,

heart would brake. What awful grate big red hands he's got fit. At last I found one, an' set an' can't talk about nothin' but how down when Lil was out a calling an' many houses he owns, an' his cravats is in retched taste. cop pied oph a page good as I could. I wish he'd three sisters what all stay away an' done with it. I've got He kepes their dirys an' writes into 'em tride to kiss me wen he was goin' every night after their hair is took Sunday night, but I'd just as soon oph an' put in the buro drawer, have a lobster kiss me. Oh he is 'xcept what is put in crimps. So to- so different from my sweet, sweet
if
1

my

nite Mister

to see Lil, like

Wily em Smith he come Montague De Jones. he does most every Montague is a poor

Wot
clerk
!

a pity I can

evening,
that

a big, ugly ole bashlor not bare this misery much longer. makes fun of be- Montague is jellus an' reproaches me hind his back, an' I was in the par- biterly. Oh, wot a fraud this life lor with my diry in my hand an' he is I'm wery of it." Lil she was a screechin' an' a ast me wot I got, an' give me sum

my

sisters

candy, an' I showed him

my

diry,

try in' to snatch

it

all

the time, but

A
red
;

Bad

Boy's Diary.

Mr. Smith' be held it up high, an' over the wheel, but it wa'n't until then he sed to me wot after I got into the shute that I it all made you rite such stuff? I sed it thought I guess they'd be sorry, now wan't stuff I got it out of my sister they'd never have Georgie to scold I gess she knew no more. I don't know what I thunk Lily's diry, an' enuff to keep one, an' he took his wen they got me out, coz I was but hat an' went, and Bess she sez to drowned dead as a door-nale they rolled me on a bar el, an' blowed me " Now you've done it, George into my inside with a bellows, an' I come to an' ast 'em if they'd saved Ilackett!" Lil made a grab at me, but I my fishpole. I don't know wot made mania cry dodged an' run. I never see such a boy as I am fur wen they brought me home, coz I gettin' into scrapes. The hull family was all right then, an' I told her so. is down on me, an' say I've spiled I was awful glad I fell in, coz they Lil made the match an' lost 'em a hundred got over bein' mad at me. thousand dollars, but I can't see how me some real good toaste an' tea, an' I am to blame for jest takin' a few 'bout dark they all went down to lines out of Lily's diry. slipper an' left me rapped up in One thing is sure the rest o' this blankets that I thought I should book will be my own composishun smother, so I got up an' put on my good or bad. I'm disgusted with the best sute my other one was gettin'

them girls' dirys. dry. I betted they'd scold me for There was such a row to home gettin' up, an' I crawled down into 'bout it to-day I didn't seem to want the parlor, an' got behind the curmy dinner, so I went fishing. It tains of the bay winder. I was that wasn't cloudy, so they wouldn't bite. tired I fell asleep, an' wen I woken A man come along an' he sez up I hoard voices, an' I made out " Got any bites, sonny ?" 'twas Susan an' her bow a scttin'
fool-stuff in
:

wish
:

folks

wouldn't
;

call

me

sonny it makes me mad

lered

so I hol-

" Confound the fish !" And he sez " Wot a wicked boy !"
:

together on the sofy. Bess she was ratling away at the peano t'other end Lil was upstairs, 'cause o' the room. she knew Mr. Wily em Smith wouldn't come no more. " We'll haf to wate," says he, " at

And
"

I sez
tall,

Not a

the fish

is

in

leste a year. Old Locktor Bradley the wants a younger man to do the ridin',

dam."

an' he's promised to take me in as he scratched his head and pardner this fall. Can you wate for went on. Just then suthin' bit, an' me, my darlin' ? You'll haf to haf

And

over too far an' fell in. You lots of pashunts," sez he. " An' so will you," Ea<vs oughter seen me go over that dam g ue an right then they laughed mill an' go an' shoot into the
I leaned

How He
" We'd
better kepe
it

Began
had

It.

"I have as good a mind as ever I !" to eat to whip you, Georgie " You It's she sez, beginning to cry. the best policy to kepe long engadge- have let the cat out of the bag, you ments secret, suthin' mite happen, horid, horid boy !" " Wot cat ?" ast I. you know." " Docktor Moore will never forgive And then she jumped up as if she was shot, an' run acrost the room, you," sobbin' as if she'd dropped her an' set down in a chair jist in time, only stick o' candy in the well. " for some folks come in, and then didn't want a sole to dreme of it for some more. Everybody wanted to the next six months." " Ime sorry I did it, sis," sez I, know how poor little Georgie was, an' then mama came in an' said I'd " I'll never do it agane if you'll stop run away -she was awful 'fraid I blubberin'. What did I do, anyhow ? was dellerius out of my head, my If I'd a knowed he was so easy brane might be effected. So I jest fritened I wouldn't a jumped out so I wouldn't gave them curtins a whop, an' jumped sudden for the world. right out as if I was a playin' leap- marry a feller wots so 'fraid o' things. frog, an' the way they hollered would He might get scart into a fit some time if he saw a white sheet on the a made you laught. " Oh, Georgie, Georgie !" groaned close-line in the night. I don't bepoor mama, "you'll be the deth of lieve in gosts, do you ?" me, I know you will." By that mamma she came an' took " Were you in the bay- winder all me up to bed agane, an' tole Betty, the time ?" ast Sue, a turnin' red an' the chamber-made, to stay by me pale. till I fell aslepe, an' I got Betty to " You bet," sez I, an' then I wunk write this in my diry for me, cause u I knowed I felt so tired and sleepy. at her an' wunk at him. Betty's honesty was the best pollicy," I bow's got red hair and a crost eye. begun "but wot makes it the best I peked through the ary winder pollicy not to let on when your en- onest, and seen him kepe one eye on gaged, lik you was a talkin' about ?" the cook that's ill-tempered as she Then Sue she yerked me out o' the can be an' one on Betty, an' I room, an' jis as we got to the door I wished I had crost eyes, so I could hollered: " Let go my arm I'll go keep one on my book, an' one on without bein' grabbed. Say Sue, I Tommy Fuller wen he puts pins in
a profound
secret for the present," sez he. " Yes/' sez she, " of course.

We

wonder wot made you hop off the sofy when those folks rung the bell Did Docktor Moore But she put her hand right over my mouth and slammed the door.

the schollars' seats. Crost eyes would be the convinyuntest things fur boys that have to go to school. Betty

yawns

like the lop of

her head would

fall off.

So

must

close.

Bad Boys

Diary.

CHAPTER

II.

THE PHOTOGRAPHS.

been 2 sick too write in mydiry ship. There never was a boy got so unjust. for most a week. It was gettin' such tretemcnt drownded made me ill, an' gettin' out To-day I was let sit up, tucked up o' bed when I was swetty. Docktor in a quilt in a arm-chare. I soon Moore lie's been up to see me twist got tired o' that, so I ast Betty to a day. He's been so good to me I'm get me a glass o' ice-water to squench sorry I fritened him that night. I my thirst, an' when she was gone I herd Bess tell Lily this morning she cut an' run, an' went into Susan's
I've

was glad I was sick, 'cause there was room to look at all them fotografs of some piece in the house now she nice young men she's got there in a hoped I'd stay in bed a month. I drawer. The girls was all down in the wonder wot girls don't like their little brothers for. I'm sure I'm real good parlor, 'cos Miss Watson had come
;

I go to the post-offis fur her twist a day when I am well. I never lost moren three letters fur her. Golly ain't I glad she don't know

to Bess.

Betty she came a huntin' hid in the closet behind a I come out when ole hoop-skirt. she went away, an' had a real good
to
call.

me, but

Some o' them fotografs was written on the back, like this " Con" Oh, ain't he sweet ?'* better I wanted to get up, so when seated fop !" " I heard Betty comin' with my supper, He ast me, but I wouldn't have I slipped out 0' bed an' hid behind him." "Aperfeck darling!" "What the door. I hod mamma's shawl a mouth !" " Portrait of a donkey!"
'bout

them

time.

This afternoon

felt

so

much

around me, an' I jumpted out as she I kep about two dozen o' them I in, an' barked as like I was a knew, to have some fun when I got big black dog, an' that careless cre- well. I shut the draAver so Sue ture just dropped the server on the wouldn't notice they was took. I floor. Such a mess The china felt as if I could not bare to go bowl was broke, the beef-tea spilt back to that nasty room, I was so on the carpet, an' the hull family tired of it, an' I thought I'd pass my rushed up-stairs to hear her scream time a playing I was a young lady. I didn't So I put on Sue's old bustle, and a as if the house was on fire. know Betty was such a goose. They pettycoat with a long tale to it, and they always do. I Sue's blue silk dress, only it wouldn't all blamed me believe when I get well I'll run be big enuff about the waste. I found way, an' be a buf'lo bill, orjine a a lot o' little curls in the buro, wich \

come

The Photographs.
stuck
I've got those pictures all in my my forehead mewsiledge, and pockets, you bet your life. " Wot makes your pockets stick then I seen some red stuff onasawcer, vvich rubbed onto my cheaks. out so ?" ast Lily, when I was a I When I was all fixed up I slid down waiting a chance to slip out unbethe bannisters plump againste Miss knone. " Oh, things," sez an' she I, Watson, wot was sayin' good-by to my sisters. Such a hollerm' as they laughed. " I thought mebbe you'd got your made " My best blue silk, you little books and cloathes packed up in 'em," sez she, " to run away an' be a imp !" said Sue. Miss Watson she turned me to the Injun warryor." I didn't let light, an' scz she, as sweet as pie on anything, but " Where did you get them pretty ansered her " I guess I'll go out in the backred cheeks, Geordie ?" Susan she made a sign, but I yard an' play a spell." Well, I got off down town, an' didn't know it. " I found some red stuff in Sue's had a lot of fun. I called on all drawer," sez I, and she smiled kind the aboriginals of them fotografs. "Hello, Georgie! Well agen?" o' hateful, and said " Oh !" said the first feller I stopped to see. Oh, my when I get big enuff I'll My sister says she is an awful gossip, wich will tell all over town hope my mustaches won't be waxed He's in a store, an' I that they paint, wich they don't, like his'n 'cause that sawcer was gust to make got him to give me a nice cravat, roses on card-bord, wich is all right. an' he ast me " Was my sisters well ?" I stepped on to the front o' Sue's so I fished out his fotograf, and gave dress goin' up stares agen, an' tore it to him. It was the one that had " Conseated the front bredth acrost. She was so mad she boxed my ears. Fop !" writ on the back. The girls "Aha, missy!" sez I to myself, had drawed his musttaches out twict " you don't guess about them foto- as long with a pencil, an' made him grafs wot I took o' your drawer !" smile all acrost his face. He got as Some folks think little boys' ears red as fire, an' then he skowled at me. " Who did that, you little rascal?" are made on purpose to be boxed " I guess the spirits did it," I said, my sisters do. If they knew wot dark an' desperate thoughts come asonestasa owl, an' Iwentawayquick into little boys' minds, they'd be cause he looked as mad as thunder. The nex plaice I come to was a more careful it riles 'em up like grocery store, where a nuthcr young pokin' sticks into a mud puddle. but beware to-morrow! man lived. He had red hair an' I laid low They let me come down to brekfast freckles, but he seemed to think hisself a beauty. I said this mornin'.

on

all

around
of

with

bottle

IO

A
:

Bad

Boy's Diary.
was that fritened
;

" Hello, Peters I" He said " The yourself, same

but I was bound

to see the fun out, so I ast

him

Master
?

" Is the "What is It on exabishun

Help to-day?" " Wot do you mean ?" sez he, a lookin' down on me. sisters three pretty Boys wot lias " said if I would come to MisI notiss. Sue treted well, get does allers I took a big hanful of raisins an' a ter Courtenay's offis I would see wot few peanuts, an' sot on the counter this is the picture of," sez I, givin' eating 'em, till all at oncest, as if I him his own fotograf inskibed, " The jest thought of it, I took out his foto- Wonderful What is It." It's awful funny to see their faces graf an' squinted at it, an' sez " I do declare, it looks like you." wen they look at their own cards. " Let me see it," sez he. In about a minit he up with hia I wouldn't for a long time, then I foot wich I doged just in time. I gave it to him. The girls had made herd him muttering suthin' 'bout freckles all over it. This was the one " suing for scandal." I think myself they wrote on its back, " He asked I oughter arrest her for salt an' batme, but I wouldn't have him." tery, boxing my ears. I wishst he They'd painted his hair as red as a would sue Sue, 'twould serve her right. rooster's comb. I'll not get to bed fore midnight if He got quite pale when he seen it clost. I write enny more. I'me yawning now " It's a burning shame," sez I, like a dyingfish. So, farewell my diry " for them young ladies to make fun till the next time. I give them cards
George.

Do you

like raisins

yourself."

o' their

bows."
out," sez Tetcrs.

all

"Clear

a
o'

row

back fore dinner-time. There'll be I've laughed myself I expect.

I grabbed a nuther

bunch

raisins almost to fitsathinkin'of thefeller wot

an' quietly disappeared.

!

I tell

you

he was rathy Mbter Courtcnay lie was a lawyer, he's got a oflis On the square by the curt-house. I knew him very well, 'cause he comes to our house offen. He's a awful qucer-lookin' chap, an' so stuck up you'd think he was tryin' to see if the moon was made o' green cheese, like folks sez it is, the way he

give "The Portrait of a Donkey" to. He looked so cress fallen. I do believe he cried. They were teazin' ma to
I

keeps it in the air. He's got a depe, good to 'em. dope voice way down in his boots. P.S. I bet their left ears are burnMy harte beat wen I got in there, I ing wuss'n ever mine did 1

let 'em give a party nex week wen I got home to dinner. I don't believe one of them young gentlemen will come to it ; the girls have give 'em I don't care wuth a cent. all away. Wot for do they take such libertys with my ears if they want me to be

The Party.

ii

CHAPTER

III.

THE PARTY.
a world with a yellow bed-dress, and them bora to lile thred gloves." " She'll mortify us awfully," sez trubble as the sparks are to fly upwards. It's over a week sence I've Sue. had the harte to rite one word in my I b'leve Aunt Betsey is writch, Poor diry the reckord of a but she's that old-fashuned you'd diry. braking harte, 1 come to the for con- think she come out o' the ark, with sultashun On this paige will I the animals, too an' too, only Aunt describe my wose. It hurts me Betsey must a come alone, 'cause yet to sit down square on my sete, she i3 a ole made. So when I herd 'em say they hoped but I will tri to bare it for thi she wouldn't stay to the party, I sake. It all dates from the day I carrid hoped she Avouldn't too. To tell the fhe fellers back their fotografs. As truth, I had a gilty conshuns 'bout 1 said, the. girls they tezed ma to give those fotografs wich I had done for 'em a party, wich she promised, so spite. Oh, it is drefful to hav a g'flty they was in hi fether, an' begun to conshuns, it ways like lead. I wisht rite out the list of those they meant I hadn't done it, but thare's no use to ast, that afternoon. They war all cryin' for spilt milk, so I resolved I'd three as bizy as bees, an' I was bean do suthin' for my sisters to make good, settin' on a chare, a listenin' up. quietly, coz I was tired, when the bell When tea was over, I got Aunt wrung, an' who do you s'pose it Betsey by herself into the hall, and proofed to be but our Aimt Betsey, said to her " Wood you like to make my" sisshe that lives to Hoppertown an' tomes to see us twicst a yere. My ters happy 1"

deke
is

dere

Wot

this

Little

boys are

'

sisters

was put out, 'cause they gnu she'd stay a week, an' be here to the
Lily made a rye face when she herd it. " Nasty ole thing !" sez she " she alwis comes at the most unconvynyant times." " She'll be sure to stay," says Bess, " if she heres about it, and she'l ware that old green silk o' hern,
party.
;

"

What you mean

if

?" sez she.

"'Cause, " please go

They
I
tole

don't

you would," sez I, away before the party. want you here that night.
so.

herd 'em say

Don't

let

on

you, Aunt Betsey, but jus' go home quiet the day before nex' Thursday, an' I'll be obliged to you as ever was." I don't think it was well-bred o'

12
her to get angry when

A
I

Bad Boys

Diary.

spoke to her I was aloud to come in the parlor so polite, do you? It wasrele mene The house was all lit up, there was to go an' tell when I ast her not to bokase everywhere, a man come to speke about it wich she did so quick play the peano. My mouth wotered as ever she could, an' the ncx' morn- to think o' the is-cream an' cake, the ing she up an' went away, sayin' orranges an'gelly, the chick un salid, she'd never, never, never visit us an' the sandwiches wich was in the dinin'-room. The girls looked awful agane. But that ain't all. It seems my hansome dressed in white, their papa had borroed a lot o' money crimping-pins took out, their eyes
f'rum her, 'cause the times
is

hard,

brite, flowers in their hair.

she twitted
partis
ait

him with

that, an' givin'

The company began

fashunable
villedge

to arrive. All

on borroed

capital.

Of

coarse the

all fell on one poor little yere ole boy. Suthiu' else fell two. I'll not disgrace the, my diry, by sayin' wot it is enuff to ad they spoiled the child, altho they did Betty pitied me, not spare the rod. an' maid me a rele soft quishion out of a ole pillo. I ain't gone out fur fear the boys would notis thare was suthin' rong time passes awful slow. I do not think Ide care to bo a Alexander Selkirk. "When I grow np an' have a little boy I will not trete him so. I will not punish him fur

the rath of

the

yung ladys of the wot moved in our set come

nine

clock struck

the only

was Docktor gentleman present Moore, the one that's goin' to marry Sue. My sisters began to look trubbled. I was a shaking in my shoes. The feller at the pcany plaid an'

Some of the girls took hold of one anuther an' woltzed around, but they did not seme to enjoy it
plaid.

much.
clock
! !

Ilalf-pas nine struck on

!

the

wot he didn't mean to do, but fede him on spunge-cake three times a
day, nor let his older sisters speke to

Oli, how my gilty conshuns wade me down I said to myself "The trane is lade, the slo- match is applide, now for the jcneral bust!

up

that rude as if he
this

was a moiinever

st -.
11

time

my mind was

esy about them photografs. I 'xpectcd evry hour the cat would be lot out the bag wot I had done. Day aftr d;iy passed by; the nite of the Betty drest me party came at last. n my best sute, tide on my new erevat, an' put lots o' sent on my hankercher, my sisters lecktured me
for half
at parties

gests bgan to whisper, the looked like they would sir.k thru a augur -hole. Then the bell wrung real loud cverybuddy britened up, but it was only Betty brought a card in an' handed it to my sisters. They turned all colors when they seed wot it was. It wasn't "regrets" at all only a fotograf wich they had writ an' wich used to be in their drawer of their
girls
;

The

an hour on how to behave desk. The or I'd be sent to bed, an' other foto
!

bell

wrung agane Phancy the seen

1

an-

The Party
That
ther,
bell

13

every time

it

wrung twenty times, and not yet rekuvered from the efFecks o' It seemed to me was anuther, and anu- the tothcr one.
I

and anuther.

could

not

bare
in

the
I

trials

wich
I

At last two yung men arrived. I morning had knu in a minit how they happened couldn't sleep

store

for me.

a wink.

Betsey, it was only fifty miles bright, too butiful to last!" wich was by rale to her house. Lie bin thare clerk in a shoe-store, but he didn't oncet. I had two dollars in my bank. The moon was shinin' brite as day. see the pun. They got up a set o' lancers, with I got up and drest myself, took my three gentlemen an' five ladies. Miss bank, krept down stairs as still as a Hopkins she giggled a good 'eel of mouse, unlocked the front door and
the time
;

On their cards was writ to come. " Oh, you darling felloe !" an' " Too

mined

to

run

away.

was detyrThere was

Aunt

my sisters most
tip top,

cried.
I

The
the

stept out.

I run as fast as I could lick it to uneasy the depo. It was getting daybrake. frate train stood on the switch I had to give up on my fifth sawccr blowing off steme. of ice-cream. I wotched my " If I knu who did it," I herd Sue chance, an' krept into a car wich was tellin' the dockter, "I'd shoot him; empty. yes, I would Pritty soon the bell rung we mene, dastardly, practical goke. I hate such gokes wur off! " Farewell, my friends," sez I. They're mad at us now. We can never make it up. We'll have to "You won't be bothered with that move to some other town to live. I bad boy no more. He's goin' to lye shall never dare to show my face on lo till the storm blows over." the strete agane. I wish I could find After that the moshun of the cars !" out who did it made me sleepy, so I thought Ido " P'raps George can give you some take a little knap, wich I'll tell you

supper was party was a

but

knu

fizzle.

I felt

so

me

information," sez the docktor, lookin' to-morro how I woke up. strate in the eye. "Who's this?" said

gruff

"Oh, no!"
Towser.
fotografs to

sez

I,

"lest

it o'

I give

him some
on, an'

was them
a

voice.

chew

he

may

" It's me, little Georgie, sir," sez I. " I'm willing to pay my fare. Here's

droped 'em on the

"
quite awful like.

Then you had them

cat

street." ?"

sez she,

The
slipped

didn't
folks

was out o' the bag. I away an' went to bed. I alius in mischief, sir. I was goin' to want to be around when the be whipped for given the young

my bank with two dollars in it; take out wot you want." " How did you get here ?" ast he. " I run away from home, coz I'm

went away. I lay and thunk, gentlemens fotograps back to 'em and thunk, a long time. I knew I which my sisters had written on. was in for another whipping. I have Are you the breakman ?"

14
''

A
You bet !" sez
t

Bad
"

Boy's Diary.
stay tlierc cause if I don't
I'll

helafling.

Where
I

till

I'm grown
sisters
'11

up,

do yor want to stop off?" " Iloppertown," scz I, " and

my

all die

guess old mades."

CHAPTER

IV-

THE ELOPEMENT.
las' night depot wich was surprised to see me They introof a hole in alite from a fr.ite car. my bedroom, so I tride to catch it. duced theirselves, so I thought Ide I broke my wash-bole throing my stop an' play a spell 'fore I let Aunt

broke of ruther abruply

'cause a

mouse come out

shoe at it, but I didn't get the mouse. Betsy kno Ide come to live with her. They proofed to be vary wicked, Well, the breaksman an' I we had I tole him 'bout bad boys, wich had no bringing up. a reel good talk. my sisters, an' Aunt Betsey, an' They stole my bank, an' tored my everything. He was sory for me he new jacket, an' thru mud that I wouldn't take money for my fare he wasn't fit to be seem. I thought wot said, wen he was my age he use to be it said in one o'rny books " Bewair whipt evry night reglar, an' I must of strange dogs." It was noon wen I got to Aunt get use to it and not mind it. " The frog gets used to bein' skinned," scz Betsys. I diden't reelize I was he, " but don't brake off your sister's hungry till I smelt those puken pies. matches agane if you can help it, for She was eating dinner all by herself beaus is scarce this year the war in wen I come in.. Europe has maid a corner in the "Mersy sakes alive! George market." ITackctt! ",she scrccmed, lettin' her He love that breaksman till my knife drop on her plate so hard it dyin' day, he was so good to me. It broke a peace out of the edge. was about nine a.m. wen we got to " Whare did you come from ? Wot's
;

the plaice where I was to get off, so we shook hans and said good-by, like we was ole frens. I b'lieve I'll give up bein' a Buflo Bill, and be a breakman wen I gro up. Such a jolly You can ride for nothing all life
!

happened
skratched !" beat

to

your close ? your face ? If I

I,

Who
ain't

"Aunt
told a
lie.

Betsy," sez
I've

"I never

run away." " Kun away! run away from your buchiful home, your good papa, you you want to. " Thar? were some boys around the dere mamma, your lovin' sis

The Elopement.

15

Thare she stopped as if she'd bin tide up in a handkerchief with a chopped off an' kinder choked. You clene shirt an' a pare of stockings. sea she rekolected 'bout how they It was Aunt Betsy's wash bo'e didn't want her to the party. wich I broke a tryin' to hit thi " I don't wunder," she ads, " those mouse. It was funny ole blu china girls were enuff to drive ennybuddy the wash bole not the mouse an' Tell ine all about it, my aunt felt awful bad. a way. I was afrade poor child." she'd send me home. I explained the hole affare to her. I've been here two days now, slje I showed her my bleeding scars, be- kepes me jus to spite my folks, but cause Ide made her mad wheii she she makes me wurk like a perwas to our house. feck slave. I'm gettin' wery of it. Wen I confesed about the foto- I've had to pick up chips an' even grafs her eyes sparkled, she was so string perieck benes a shame pleased to think my sisters were in a Cook duz such things at home. She

scrape.

will not let

rite

me

play with other boys.

Twict I've stolen down to the depo George," sez she, " but boys will be to look fur my braksman to take me boys. He'll do it, I am sure. Ime glad you cum to me. back. Go rite in the kitchen an' wash, an' Homesickness is a fearful thing. hurry back to dinner fore the chicFore wery, wery days an' nites kun gets cold." How slo time crepes, at a snale's " Will you promise, aunt, not to pace. Ime desperut, no money, no let 'em kno where I am ?" trends, the breaksman I can. never " If they don't find out till / tell get a chance to sea. To-day I had 'em," she sorter snapped, " you'll to pick twelfe quarts of hukkle stay with me till your groan up." berrys, a deggeradation my proud You sea she had a spite 'ganst our spirut does not freeze to. Oh
for

" 'Twant

you

to

do

that,

folks

'cause I tole her they didn't could

to stay to

sea

my

childhood's

home

want her
stuffed

me

that I

the party. She onest couldn't hold no Vane

slice o'

more Ide be a nioddul boy.

!

more, I had to leive

punken an' was

was.

pie, an'

my third mended my
to

jacket,

as

good

me

as

ever

Long 'bout four o'clock thare came a telegram from papa " I Georgie thare ,
:

Aunt

telegraffed

back

" What do you mene ?" So of coarse they thought

wasn't.
I forgot to say I

brought

my

diry

are these sad- reflecshuns hold on I have a thought 1 will not rite in my diry 'cause I believe Aunt Betsey reads it in my absunce. at home onct 0, happy boy more Teres blind my eyes wen I think of the seen wen my father brought me home in triump; my mother's sobs, my sister's kisses, even cook was blubberin', and Betty's apurn to her eyes. The hull town has made that fuss over me you'd

Stay

16
think
I

Bad Boys

Diary.

was poor Charley Poss. eating some. We was by ourselfs in Thare was a grate crowd to the the winder; he wanted to be pleasant. depo to meet me; such a time! I tole him yes, I liked 'em when Mr.
;

Papa's so angry with my aunt lie De Jones give me money for bringin' never spoke to her wen he come to letters to my sister Lilly I allers What could a take me home, 'cause everybuddy bought gum drops. said I must be dead or stolen. The made him turn so green when I said
got the money to telegraph she sent me to pick huckel bervj's to dry, but I sold 'em an' went to the depot, and telegrafed " Ime at Aunt Bettsy's plese,
I

way

was

this

plese
son,

come and take me home. Your

George."
sisters are

wasn't a bit sleepy, room to put on Pevrund Nebneezer Slocuni. lie is one of her rappers to scare Betty, an' 26 years ole, he said so hisself. He I felt suthin' in the pocket wich was is pail, wares a white choker, an' is a letter that I read. It said " The carridge will be at the fond of girls an' sweet-cake, so I jnge. corner at nine to-nite slip out He patted me on the head hate to bo patted on the head, that quitely, all will go well; do not fale, will do for boys of three or fore. I me deerest Lily." " Wot's up ?" sez I " it's most think he's sweet on Lil, but she won't
I

awful nice girls. I never, never will do anything to I am teaze 'em long as I live. iurmly resolfed to take the Father of his Country for my moddul, an' gro up to be grate an' good. The gnu minister came to our writ in
to

My

At last he ast me how often ? do you buy 'em ? and I said every day. He gave a little kind o' mone like he had et too much. Pritty soon he sed he must go back to his bording-house and write a sermon. Oh, such a time Fur oncst they didn't scold little Georgie, nor whip him, nor send him to bed by dalite. Pa says he's goin' to get me a velocipede next week. It seems I've bin of a good dele of use if I am only ait yeres old. Las' night wen I had
that
!

my diry

house

tea to-nite.

His name

is

so I

went

into Lily's

go and see." I hung the rapper back in the clost, krept down the back stares, She gave me a dime if Ide pronmius an' reched the street. I doged not to tell ennybuddy. He wrote behind a ash barrel sure enuff a one back, an' he give me anuthcr carridge stoped at the corner. dime. Lil was out in the yard waite- 'Bout a minit after I see my sister ing wen I got back. She put his Lily come along rapped in a watterletter in her pocket an' went up- proof, carrying a satchel. Mister stairs. Wot duz this mene ? De Jonesjumped out of the carridge, When tea was et we all went in the helped her in, shut the door, un' off Mr. Slocum ast me was I they went; the driver ho licked the parlor. loud of gum drops, 'cause I was horses like he was in a allfired
nine now.
I'll
;

The only sole on earth Lil cares for is Montagu De Jones. I carried a letter to him this fournoon.
have him.

"He

didrit

know

'twas

Loaded"

17

hurry. I run home with all my Then papa said a very bad word. mite an' mane, burst in were the Bess she flue up to Lil's room to see I was whisked if I tole the truth. folks were sitting, an' gasped " You better hurry up if you off to bed, like I allers am when
:

think some- there's fun goin' on, an' wen I woke up this mornin', an' come down to brekfast, there was Miss Lily at the lickin' his horses." " Wot are you talking about ?" table with the rest, an' after brekfast she sez to me sez mamma. " Oh, Geordie, how could you tell " Oh, nuthing. Why, Lily's run away with him in a carridge. They're on us ?" an' burst rite out a cry in' goin' to Piattville to get marrid. I wish I hadn't. I see 'em start."
tvant to catch 'em.

buddy ought

to arest that driver for

CHAPTER V
" HE DIDN'T

KNOW 'TWAS LOADED."

Johnny Brown's an' nuthin' happened that didn't ought to 'cept I staid to dinner coz Johnny's mother didn't want me to, an' after that he came over to my house an' we had a good time all day. We was up in mamma's room wen she was gone a I put a chair on the table visiting. an' climbed up to the top shelf of the chimbly cupbord an' got down some medicine and give it to Johnny wich said it tasted good but birneby he turned quite pail, he was that sick to his stumak he didn't no wether he stood on his heles or his head. So Betty made him drink a cup full o' warm, nasty water with mustard stired into it, such horrid stuff it made him thro it up, wen he felt better. Wen Betty was gone for the
;

There has been a aksident

house.
tell

to our

It

nede not take a

I

proffit to

ful boy.

who was in fault. To the, my

all

am
I

a dred-

diry, I

must

aknolige

my
me

sins.

mene
blame

to
?

do it. I wish

Am
bis

not then too

did

folks

would

names. I am a dredful boy, but not on purpose, it jus' happens. Now the hull town is down on me. Pa sez he xpecks I'll have to go to prison. O, my dere diry, did you ever think your little oner would have to go to jale ? O, it is fereful to have the decons, an' the sheruf, an' ole Miss Harkness a frowning at you as if you was a hartless criminal wen you didn't go This morning I was to do it at all. a very good child, I played over to
stop a calling

i8

Bad

Boy's Diary,
what fun
to

mustard I looked in papa's furs an' I found such a funny pistol. Johnny he said it was a revolver, so I tole hi in not to say a word an' I run an' hid it under my piller. " We'll have some fun wen you get over bean sick, Johnny," sez I but he had to go home he felt so bad after he throed up his headaked.
I let the pistol
piller,

here

them
want

holler.

" Betty," sez I, " lend

kit sholl a fu minits I

me your

blan-

to be a

remane under

my

fur I was afrade Betty would see it. I wanted to scare my sisters with it cos I did not 'spose 'twasloded, but they would shreke all the same. Girls allers holler like mad wen they see a gun or pistol. So Mister Slocum he come to tea agane. Ministers are the gratest hands to come to tea it's haf thare work to go around an' take thare suppers with the laclys. I kep dark. Pa had to go to townmeeting, an' ma she went to see how Johnny was. Sue she went a walkin' Avith the docktor, Bess an' Lily they undertook to see the minister didn't get sleepy in the parlor. Lily she hadn't spoke to me since the nite she- run away. She isn't like she used to be one bit, oncest she was equil to a boy for fun and gokes, now I would not be surprised if she settled down into a parson's wife she is that sober, I wisht I had not tole on her that night, she wood a taken me to live with her, gIio sez, if she had married Thus one by one my Mister Jones. prospects of bliss fade away, this is a sad world. " Now," sez I, " I'll crepe up stares an' get that pistol, enter the Tain'tloded. parlor an' stir 'em up.

Injun brave." She did not dreme about the revolver so she lent me the sholl. I rapped it about me, put a cane over my shoulder fur a gun, then I krept up, quite still, so they wouldn't kno Injuns was skirmushin around thare camp. I pushed the door open vary, vary softly, and glared in upon 'em. The minister an' Bess was at opsite ends o' the sofy, Lil she was croshaying a lamp-mat, all was still, the hour was at hand, the moment had arrived, so with an unearthly yell I rushed into the camp, gave three shrill hoops, and pointed my pistol at 'em, saying " Surrender or I shoot !" Bess clapped her hands to her eyes screme. an' uttered screme after Lily gets up and sez soft-like " Geordie, O Geordie don't it's
: !

loded." " Surrender, pail chefe," Iansered, dancing round an' round, pointing
at the minister. Geordie!" Lily beged coming tords me, " stop, do stop 1" " I'm goin' to shoot the pail chefe dead in his tracks," I ansered. Bad as I fele I almost laugh when Irekolec how Mister Slocum bounced over the back o'the sofy an' scrouched down behind it. Lily got hold of my arm. I shook her off and fired. Alas dere diry need I tell the more? The ole thing was loded after all That was the terribul mistake I made. Who would have thunk twas loded all reddy to go of as soon

my weppon

"O

"He

didnt know 'twas Loaded"

19

Tiie ball to, the door locked ; I must pore out as I pulled the trigger ? went right through the back o' the my trubbles now for twilite is coming sofy like there want no sofy thare an' on, an' I will not be aloud a lamp I hit Mr. Slocum square in the forrid, no, not even a candel or a match. the bail losrsred in the brane inflictin' am left to bare my gilt in darkness a panefal an' dangrous wound, at an' silence all alone. O, Betty, Betty, Hark, I here a whisper at come leste so the docktor says. He is a lain up stares now in the the kehole who is there? It was
!

best spare room.

The Docktor

is

in

my

darlin' sister Lily.

" Georgie," sez she, rite throu the thare an' ever so many other folks, lie don't say enny thing cos he can't kehole, "poor boy, don't feel so bad; I'm sure no he's better." speke, he's senseless. "Hurray !" sez I. little boy could feel badder'n I do "It didn't reach his brane," sez about it. I wish I had never tuched the she, " the sofy broke the force o' the ole thing. Wot bisness had it to go ball. It stopped in the fruntal bone, and be loded ? I'm shut up in my and Docktor Moore took it out. room I'm not to be let out for a hull Why, he's a settin' up in bed a eting month. Ten to one if he dyes the'll tea an' toste. He'll be abel to go be mene enuff not to let me go to home in a day or two." " I wish I was eting tea an' toste. They nede not be so the funeral.
;

Georgie, I didn't know dere me what for dose a little bit of a ball in his brane make so much trubble. I'm glad it was not Lily she's a dere girl. She kissed an' soothed me when I cried so hard thare was a lump in my throte I thought I should choke I

hard on

little

Lily,

'twas loded.

you a good girl. Don't you ever marry Mr. Slocum, coz he didn't stand fire. AVen I get out o' this I'm goin' to help you marry Montagu, an' do evry thing you ast me to.
Lily, will
let

you

pleze go an' teze pa to

lite ?

me

have a

Tell

him

it's

boys smell waffles was so fritened an' sorry. Ever- frying wen they ain't to get any therLuddy but her skowled at me like I selves. Tell cook to kepe the kitchen was a demon. If I ever get to be a door shut, so I won't kno thare's ham man I hope I shal kno better than to an' egs for brekfast. Is my squirl pizon little Johnny an' shoot the fed reglar 1 I guess Towser thinks
;

barbrus to

let^ little

minister

but I never, never

shal,

I'm dead.
" Tell
I've got
pit

'cause if I'm put in jaile an'

shan't live to

grow up.

hung I 0, wot a

thought.
I cried myself to slepe late las nite.

mamma I'm afraid I'm sick such a queer feeling in the of my stumak."
you
Lil's a brick
!

I tell

She's

This day has been a thousan' miles got a key wot fits my dore, an' she's Bred an' woter for breakfas, brot me a nue book, a hunk o' cake, long. bred an' woter for dinner, bred an' an' a candel. The cake tasted awful woter for supper, not a sole to speke good. If liobinsoii 'Crusoe was shut

20
up

Bad Boys

Diary.

in a room would he stay there ? sheets werint tide tite enuff, all I No, he would contrive to free hisself. know is that I saw stars, an' then If I had some sissors I'd cut up my all was dark as nice. Father sez, when blankets, tie 'cm in a rope, an' let I cum to " He is incorgible. I give him myself down from die winder. sheets up, 'taint no use. the O wot a pity he I had no sissors, but

tored
tied

esy.

made

a long

string,

cum

to at all

!"

one end to the handel of the buro-drawer which stood near by, crawled out o' the window, got a good hold o' my rope, like the folks does when the haase is afire, an' let
her
slide.

Pra, wot did they have

didn't ast 'em too.

me

for

Wy

didn't they

have a reglar good little boy sent to 'em by Mrs. McCandish sted of such
a bad, bad boy as me ? I gess if papa was kep on bred an' wotcr, like he was a criminal in the penny ten
tare

Wot happened
describe, 'cause

afterwords

can't

when my bed struck sherry, he'd on the brick ary I didn't know any- worse'n I did. thing for a good while. Mebbe the to childrun. buro-drawer come out mebbe the

the

sheets

up

Folks are so unjust

CHAPTER

VI.

UNDER THE TABLE:

kno wot makes Susan always give him when he went away, an' I hurry bout the males Avas afrade he'd sell it to some other she'd dye if she boy, so thare was just 1 letter for think won would don't get her letters inside of 5 min- Sue, wich didn't seme of much conI've sekwence, a little pink thing, so I nits after the male comes in. got to love off my game of marbles or thought Ide read it, and if it didn't wotever I'm about, an' go rite off to amount to nothin' Ide thro' it awny
I don't

in such a awful

the post

offis

if

she's

spoiled

one an' not bother

it.

to

go back home with

toThe postmaster an' some other always have fellers laufed wen they see me tare I it open. You never see such a letI was in a grate hurry to go. had agrede to meet Tommy Tilden ter the paige was small but writ all behind his father's barn to buy his over, an' then over backwards an' new jack-nife, wot his Uncle Ben round the egges. I couldn't stop to

game for me she has 3 hundred. So I mo sick of post-oilises.

day she sent

me

like I

Under
read such stuff. I gave the postmaster to kepe
the folks
it
till

the
to

Table.
He'd bin pinchin'
it

21
his sister's

back some

a table.
tongs.

of

bow's leg under

with the suggar-

come

after

it,

an'

now

thare's

sell. I'll do it too. Mister Just Prim is comin' here to dinner toI heard papa tell mamma because the postmaster he has a morrow. sister wich is a very old made, an' he was gcin' to try to get him to buy she had the curiosity to read Sue's that house an' lot on Smith street. letter, an' the girl wot wrcte it to her He's such a stick just the one to try

no end of a

fuss.

such a

Everybuddy was jumping up

As

useyal

Ime

the culprit.

ast

for fun,

"Are

those

bottles

o'

it

on.

hare-die coming threw the male yet Cook was dredful crost 'cause she for Miss llornblower ?" That's his had to get up a nice dinner. She
sister.

She got mad as a hornet, an' let out she read the letter, and now you never seen such a skrape. She is mad at Susan, Susan is mad at her, they are both mad at me. Girls is always cross bout something. I'm most discurridged about bean a good boy. I shall be awful glad wen I'm grone up. I don't think I'll ever marry, thogh. Boys wot has sisters knos too much. Them girls when they come down-stares late in the afternoon ain't the same I see up-stares cuttin' round in their rappers with a little nob of hair on the back of their heads an' their crimpin'-pins a sticking out like horns, a washing their
faces in butter- milk, an' a astinor me to bring 'em up the morning paper.

wouldn't make me no turnover, nor let me in the kitchen wen the things was round. That made me mad. Sez I, I'll be even with you, you crost old thing. I said I was goin' over to Johnny's, but I didn't, I hided in the pantry hind the door. Purty soon she comes in with one o' them

Washington
lishus

pies,

wen

they're just

which is made,
it

so

dc-

all jelly

inside, an' layrs of cake frosted

the top, an' she slams

on to down, and
suit Mrs.

mutters to herself: " There, I hope

Petickerler
!"

that'll

Then she went out. I kep' still aa mouse till she was gone. There is
it

a Avindow to our pantry.

pye under
an'

on the

shelf,

I put the climbed on

the shelf, got the pye, an' sliped

out.
I

down

hid it in the woodI wonder wot they do with all shed, went an' got Johnny, an' I tell those morning papers? Maybe they're you we had a good time. When it makin' a scrap-book. I've got one was all gone I wiped my mouth an' it's nicer than a diry, full of funny went into the parlor whare they things. I cut the pictures out of ware. " Georgie," sez mamma, sweet as papa's books in the library to paste in. He does not know it yet. It sugar, " you may go an' play with

makes my scrap-book awful nice. Johnny till we've had our dinner." " Agreed," sez I. You'd laugh to see one I got out of a paper yesterday. It was a boy under But I had other plans. I got under

22
the table
cloth
in the

A
come down
all

Bad Boys
;

Diary.
a

dining-room the with the pincers, an' I give 'em around ; I had good squeeze.

bunch of white grapes wich

self

" Ouw wow the suggar-tongs, an' a fork, an' a I took of jumpin' up.

wow

!"

sez

he,

the top of the apurn, an' I fixed

my-

The cup went smash

glass pickel dish, the

inter

the

They come out an' cumfurtable. took their setes, Mister Prim he said he wore shoes, so I jabbed grace him in the ankul softly, just enuff to make him think a spider bit him thank Thee, oh, so he said, " Lord !" I herd Sue giggel, but she didn't gess what made him say it so funny. Mr. Prim is a dredful polite man he wouldn't ruche down to find wot it was for the wurld, an' I tickled him like it was a insect crawling up an' down he'd move his foot an' jerk like he had St. Vitus' danse, but he didn't let on. Dinner lasted a awful long time, but I didn't care, I wasn't hungry, I'd et too much pye, an' then I herd the girls a whisprin to
; ;

coughy spilt on to the table-cloth, the cup and sawcer an' dish wur broke such a

We

time! I know I turned pail. I hadn't meant to pinch so hard, but the mischief was done " I'll hav hidrofobia, I kno I " Confound will !" yelled Mr. Prim. your dog Send for the doctor fur to cut it out. I've alius had a pursentment I'd die of hidrafobia, an' lord, my now I'm bit I'm bit leg. Send fur the dockter quick, or it 'ill be to late. 0, how horrible it will be to die of that dred disese !" hidrofobia! O, ow The girls they all jumped up on chares an' skremed. I wished the
! !

mama, who
" I'm
et

sez

floor

would open and

seller,

let

me
the

drop

awful mortified, the cat has into the

You'll have to

but

it

didn't.

Pa

the dessert.

make opened
dog

the door to drive

mad

out,
an'

Mr. Prim, on iskreme, an' frute, coughy." So pa and Mr. Prim they talked He said he'd about the property. While they take it at that price.

out, cot up a chair an' poked, an' poked, an' cried "git out!" till he

was

tired.

All of a sudden a thot seemed to come into his mind he stooped down, raised the table-cloth, and was a talking, "Do you kepe dogs?" sez the looked. visitur. "It's only that confounded boy! " Nary a dog," sez pa. Gcorgie come out here What pos" I thought there mite be one sest you to a thing like that, you little under the table," sez he. r very angry wi th " O no," sez pa. you. Come out here Go to your i4 "Will you have calfy o lay?" sez room, sir, and remain until I have

mama,

" or calfy no war 1" " Calfy nowar," sez Prim. He's frightfully fashionable. Just then I cot him by the caff of the leg

time to attend to your case. You shall be severely punished, sir. Well, well, friend Prim, better to have a trick played oif on you by a bad

The
little

Little Prcstidigitatettr.
I guess

papa was sorry he licked was three days ago, eh ? Sit down, sit down. Get those chares, girls. Wife, pore an- 'cause yesterday evening he took me to see Herman at the town-hall whare other cup o' coughy for our gest." But that ole stick was mad as his sho comes off. He is a prestyhops, an' took his hat and left. They digatater, a person wot purforms say papa's lost the sail, and I'm to wunderful tricks, like he was the ole satan hisself. You don't see how he blame, as ever. Wot would you do if you was such does 'em. I watched him awful clost I wish I got a awful licking, too. but I couldn't catch him at it. a boy 1 I b'leve I Ifele very lo-spiritedto-nite, deardiry. I knew how he did 'em. Evrybuddy is down on a feller if he can perform some of those tricks does the leste thing. You'd think myself. Wen I grow up I'm going to he'd committed bluddy murder. I be one, I mene a prestytligatater, wish they ware all in Halifax but some of them were real esy. I'm me an' Sue an' Betty. Betty's good. going to try the eggs an' the handShe's brot me mama's camfor-ice, an' kerchif, an' swoller the sord, an' Susan's glycerine, an' some salve she borrow the lady's wotch, an' sevral had herself, an' a sawcer cf iskreme. other tricks. The girls will be surI tell you wot, if I ever do marry prised to find their little brother can eny girl it. will be Betty. If she'll do 'em, too. I must practise by mybrake off with that red haired raskal self till I lern the black art, an' then wot's a freckled milkmun as wants I'll have a table in the parlor, sell her to set up a dary with him, I'll tickets to my sisters an' their bows, marry her as soon as I'me big enuff. an' show 'em how it's done. I'm glad A girl that stands by a feller thru I've made up my mind to be a pre sty boy, than to have hidrafobia,
off

me

so hard, that

thick an' thin

is

the girl for me.

digatater. I think

I'll

like thebusiness.

CHAPTER

VII.

TIIE LITTLE PKESTIDIU1TATEUR.

never saw such a muss in your esy wen he's a doin' of it, but wen as thare has bin in our house the you come to try it yourself, you're P'raps I can ride a disappointed. The night after pa last few days! horse in a circus ring, but I've aban- took me to Herman's sho I thought

You
life

It don't

doned the attempt to be a magishun. pan like I 'xpected. It looks

I'd

have a sho myself. Lotty Sears an' 2 other

girls

wos

24
in

A
to

Bad

Boy's Diary.

the evenia' with my boy can't do the lese thing 'thout he's Offen went in cook's pantry and scolded an' banged round. sisters. There was a an' offen have I wisht I was a injyhooked a duzznn c<:

spend
1

yung man cum with Lotty Sears a rubber boy. The next day reg'lar swell from Nu York, you
;

thought

I'd have
I

almonds an' crowkets in. I sed " Will enny lady lend me her gold watch ?" like I herd Herman ask, an' a wizzard, an' then I sez " Folks, won't yon come to my Johnny, as he grede 'cause I let him exbislrun ? I'm a prestydigatatcr. come in for nothin', he said " I'll lend you mine," an' he gives Entranse 26 scuts." They all laffed, an' come in the me over mamma's watch, wot I'd put yung swell he give me 25 sents for in his pocket for that purpose sol the hull crowd. I took up the hat pounded it all up. It was awful hard to smash on an' shook it, an' said "Ladys an' gentlemen, this is the the crystel, that broke esy. I had I said to take a stone at last. egg trick." " You see the watch is all banged They looked in an' seen the eggs The lellcr he didn't up ?" all in a jelly. They hollered, "Yes," kno it was his hat, an' my sisters they didn't think at fust, so they X took it an' held it behind ray back a niinit, an' then I let 'em smiled like enny thing. " Now you see it," sez I. see the watch game. I was awful " Yes," sez they. scart wen I saw it was just the same " Now you don't," sez T. an' wouldn't go back nice like it Then I shook 'em an' did wot the was. wizzard did, but the p'agy eggs The boys were scart, too, so we wouldn't come together again. I had hid it in the manger, so the folks The swell he laffed fit would think that Prince that's our to give it up. to kill, but wen I said I was sorry horse had got it out the buro his hat was in such a sticky mess drawer an' chewed it up. " You ain't swollered the sword !" wdiat woiild ho ware home ? he got his face got yelled little Bill Brown. serus mighty qick about 3 feet long, he looked as if he'd 1 said I hadn't got a sword to Bess elered me out swoller. like to eat me. "Wor't a jacknife do as well?" the room, Sue said she'd tell my
:

got the eggs an' then I wanted a hat like Herman used, so I took his'n off tho hat-rack in the hall it wus a shiny bever hat, the I smashed the latest thing in hats. eggs up in the hat, an' then I got a little table in the back parlor an' fixed my things so I could pla I was

never see

sho out to
prices

the
to
1

stable.

put my

down
in.

sent.

All the boys

had mamma's gold watch I got it out of her buro drawer wen she was eting dinner an cook's

come

morter-an'-pestle

that she

pounds

father, an' so

it

gese

a innocent

little

asked

Bcb Smith.

The
I said
I'd try.

Little Prestidigitatcur.
"

25
it ? "

Then he opened
to
I

How

came you with

ast

my
to

his big jacknife,

I

and lent it tried to swoller it, but

the blood came But let me drop the curtin on the perfekly dredful haroing scene, as they say in stories. out my mouth so Bill he hollered " Give it up You ain't no presty- I will not pollute thy pages, my dere diry, with what digtater worth a fig 1" happened nex. All the boys said I'd given 'em Suffishunt be it to remark that for away I must pay back their sents. the following week my one grate So I did, an' my tong hurt awful thought was, " Oh, how I wish I was swelled up like enny thing. I was a Edison, so I could get out a patent as mad as a hornet 'cause they talked for making injy rubber little boys!" so so I went into the house. When I gro up an' have a family, I Mamma ast me what was the don't mean to punish 'em for wot Such unmatter with my mouth. I said I they didn't mean to do. guessed it was the blood-beets we justness is enough to make a boy pack

father, so me. choked shake.

sturnly that I began

had

fer dinner.

up

his nite-shirt, an' his tooth-brush,

very good the rest the an' run away an' live with Injuns. afternoon. My tung hurt like fury. Why don't they go an' buy another I felt kind of sorry, too, about watch ? There's plenty down to Mr mamma's watch. Goldsmith's jurely store, stid of When we was at tea, an' I dippin' making such a fuss about that. my cake in my tea, 'cause my tung At last they've got somethin' else was sore, in comes Sam, rite in the to think of 'sides little Georgie bean dinin'-room he s our man with such a dreadful bad child. They're cook an' Betsy, he a hokliu' up the as pleasant and good-natured as a watch. Ev'ry one the folks looked basket o' chips. Montague de Jones' at it, then looked at me. Wot made old aunt over in Ireland has dide an' 'em? left him five thousand pounds. I'm " I found it in the manger," gasped sure I don't kno wot it's pounds of
I didn't feel

Sam, giving

it

to

mamma.
I,

"Mamma,"
an'

sez

Prince must a got

it

chewed
I,

it

up

like

look," sez

" an' see

it's pounds of money, which would be a awful lot, wouldn't it? out yure buro He and Lilly is goin' to get married that. Lctnme now. Pa says he allers did think if I can see the Montague was only a nice feller

mebbe

"I do

b'lieve

prints o' his teeth into the case." too yung to marry. " Oh, my son, my son, my son," So it's all made up. I'm goin' to says mamma, " don't you remember try to be a real good boy till after the story of your namesake, little the wedding, 'cause Lil she took me Georgie Washton an' his hatchet?" in her room an' talked to me with

an lookin' at the watch agane, she teres in her eyes, an' gave me a gold burst into teres an' retretcd from the dollar to keep, an' ast m@ wouldn't I try an' not do any mischief, 'causa room.

26

A Bad

Boys Diary.
a grate long table
cake, salad,
set, all flowers an'

everyboddy was in such a hurry, so much to do, and she wanted the affare to go off without any aksidents. I like her best. Lil's a good girl.
I'm going to try to pleze her, so's 1 can go an' live with her when she's She sez I got a home of her own. may. She'll have a little room on purpose for me, with a buzz saw, an' a keg o' nails, an' a set of tools. I guess I won't tell Montague she bleached her hair to make it that it used to gold color with tar sope be as black as cole. O goody ain't such lots o' cake. Little I glad Johnny's folks ain't got a wedding like our folks has I crowed over

oysters,

As

I stood

up

you don't kno. was able to eat

as if I'd
set

'bout twicst as

much

down.

Noboddy was
!

in there.

I spilled

a decanter on the table-cloth. Such a stain such a owder of sherry I got out quick's I could so's they'd think Betty tipped it over. Betty she said " Come be dressed,"
1

so I

was

dressed, an'

had a

button-

hole boquet, a hankerchif stuck out my brest pocket, an' shiny shoes. " Sit down," sez she " kepe still,
:

so

you wont

spoil

your

clothes."

him

to-day,

you

bet.

I sat down a little while, then I slipped out the back door an' went

been so busy that I haven't over to Johnny's to play a spell to writ in my diry for awful long time. pass away the time. So Johnny I guess folks find out their little said, " Thare's a nice big mud puddle brothers can be useful when they're where we can sail our boats," an' he ast pleasantly. pushed me in, which surely wasn't My legs is that tired when I go to my fault. bed, runnin' for spools of thread, When I got home the hull company silk, cotton, needles, patterns, raisins, had to wait while I was dressed in my citron, post offisis, notes to Mr. De ole clothes, an' mamma cryin bout Jones, an' so forth, I wish I could the table-cloth, purtendin she was take them off like old Billy Giles cryin cause her doughter was goin does his, at nite. away, an papa whispering he would To-morrow is the grate day wen " tend to me when ail was over." I must the wedding will take place. I tell you Lil looked nice when she go to bed at onst, so's to be up urly. come down-stares in her white satin,
I've

I got up It is all over at last. They were to be bright and urly. married in church at eleven o'clock. Cook an' everyboddy was too busy She said to get breakfast. " Get yourself some bread and I've got lots to attend to." butter
: ;

her chekes as red as roses, a grate white vail all over her. Sue looked pretty, too. She. was the bridesmade. Mr. De Jones seemed as if he couldn't believe it was Ocktober, he was so warm an uncomfortable he stepped on Lil's train an tore it, I didn't kno boys had to eat bread so they had to pin it up in the hall; and butter wen they're sisters got he wondered where his hat was when married. I went in where they had it was on his head, an be burst fovr
;

The
pares of white kids

Little Prestidigitatcur wen we

spilt

27
I

trying to get

them

such a hurry So I pinned Aunt Betsey's red silk hankerchif onto to his cote behind, an noboddy found it out. till he was walkin up the ile. All the people began to laugh a little, sn the docktor jerked it off. So he thought he wanted to tell him something, an he stopped an looked back, while Lil didn't kno an went ahead. So the folks giggled out loud, and he got as red as a piny. That embarrised him so that when the minister ast him for the ring he dropped it, an it rolled along an went down in the register, an Sue had to tak off one to hern. By that time he didn't kno one from another, lie was that confused, an he went to walk out o' church with Aunt
on, he
in

was

got home. were napkins spred

guess there over where I

the sherry. I like to burst, there were so many kinds of weddin cake. They drank tostes an tostes.

Folks was in hi

spirits.

Somebuddy
:

give me a glass of wine an said " Now, little Georgie, toste

sister."

hi3

An' I said
" Here's to got married.

my sister wots gone and Way her little boys

never get their ears boxed, nor their hare pulled, nor their legs run oph, like her little brother has."

They had
trane
;

to

hurry
;

to

get to the

Bess she thro wed her slipper

everybuddy said good-by so they didn't miss me, an I improved the opportunity to drink up all the wine left in the glasses.
after the carriage
;

Betsey.

When mamma came

come
to live with
I

to look for

me

Lil says I shant

her, to

was under the

table,

offul, offul

I ast her had there been a earthquake. She said what for. I told her cause the floor tipped up so I couldn't stand, an the chares an table was slipping round like they couldn't help theirselves. give 'em back to her because she was Then she called Betty to carry me such a flirt. I'm going to tell him up stares an put me to bed, an side how she pads her shoulder-blade an an side like her heart would break,

pay

for that.

sick.

I'm going to tell my brother Montagu about those letters :>f hers I found in her lower buro drawer from that other feller what used to come here last winter that
I don't care.

what a temper she's got. an said " 0, Georgie, Georgie, what will It was the ministur I shot wot performed the seremony he's got a you be up to nex?" scar on his torrid, an looks awful So I answered her " I'd be up to bed nex^" which was solium. We all went into the dining-room the truth.
;
:

28

Bad Boys

Diary.

CHAPTER

VIII.

MISTER WILKINS TAKES HIS SISTER OUT TO RIDE.

Aunt Betsey

she

come

to the

wed- the most of him,

heard

for she's that old

ding for all she was so mad. She brought a present of a silk bedquilt which she patched herself. I told her I guess Lil was disappointed cause I'd heard her say she expected Aunt Betsey would give her a handgome silver tea-set. Our Bess was named after her, so's to kepe the propty in the family, but I don't kno

perfeckly ridicklus

23
tell

it's

last

May,

my mamma

her oncest

she

would go through the wood 'n take up with a crooked stick at last, whatever that means.

The new yung man's name

Wilkins.

is

Mr.

who
after.

Betty,
I'll
it.

ast her

the made, was some day,

think of
if

Aunt

she flew

named when I up like a

off ; she said she give Bess a tea-set that that would be enuff, she guessed. She'd willed her money to the Orfan's Horne, we shouldn't enny of us tuch a sent of it if a silk bedquilt want good enuff for Lil. She s'posed she'd have to give Bess something 'cause she was her namesake, but George Washton never give me anything an' She said I was named after him. I'd made a mess of it as useyul, an' now she wouldn't get a present when She said I fahe married the docktor. was tt marplot. I ast her what that was if it was like a squirl or wood;

hen with her head cut

Las night I went into the parlor where he an' Bess was talking, an' I went up to him an' took a good look at him. My, ain't he funny Bess she- made a motion for me to go way. I knew she dassent speke out, so I purtended not to see her. " How are you, my little man?"
sez he.

" I ain't a
a boy.

little

man," sez

I.

" I'm

Did you think I was Tom Thumb or Commodore Nutt?"

He
"
laff?

laffed.

I ast

him
is

What

that shines so

whenyua

Is it gold like that the dentist

puts in Bess' teeth ?" " You're a funny boy," sez he, but he did't laugh so I could see what it was shiny in his mouth.

chuck

she said

it

had

2 legs an'

" You are funny too," said I. " What's the matter with your other a eye, it don't go like it ought to. Is
it

friteful

busy tung.

Thare's a

new yung gentleman

It's

coming to our house now. idee he comes to see Bess.

my

glass?" " You are very rude," said Bess. "Go way, or I'll tell mamma."

I went away a little while, but I Betty if she didn't think so 2, an' she come back, cause I wanted to find They'd better make out what made his other eye not go. said she did. I ast.

Mister Wilkins takes his Sister out

an' I stood an'

to

Ride.

29

watched
said,

him

till

Bess

thought she'd fly. " Georgie," sez she, as sweet as pie, " won't you please go tell Betty to bring in some cake and lemmonaid ?" I come back agane just as soon as I had told her, cause the more I looked the more I could not make up my mind what was the matter with his
eye.

an' watched black horse, with a gold-mounted afterwards, she harnis, 'bout four o'clock. I was on the wotch around the corner of the

house, an' when he went in the hall a minute to let 'em know he was there I slipped into the buggy, an' got under the seat, the curtain came down an' cousealed me from sight. My knees was ruther cramped. I

fixed myself as good as I could, an' So kep as still as deth while they got in. Bess she made a scuse to go out in lie took the ranes, an' we were oph. the sitting-room a minute, an' when The horse he flue along until we she come in she said were out of the town as much as 8 " George, your mother wants you miles. I was awful sorry I come along, 'cause I rite away." got tired bcin' So I had to go, and mama said squeazed up in such tite quarters. it was awful impolite to stare at 0, how I akcd. visitors. When it was getiin' chilly, and " Then, mama,'-' I ast her, " why after sunset, the horse he didn't go don't he wind up his eye so 'twill go so fast, he wolked along that slow I like his other one ?" thought I'd dye. Big folks are very unreasonable to I had a big bunch of fire-crackers children 'stead of telling me, all in my pocket, an' some matches, she said was 'cause I wanted to hear what he was " It is your bedtime, George." saying to Bess jus' then I didn't set Mr. Wilkins comes here every 'em off. I was so tired I could other night reglar. The dockter an' hardly think if his eyes were not Sue sit in the frunt parlor, he an' alike. " My darling, darling Bessie," sez Bess sit in the back parlor. Why don't they all sit together? He's he, as if she was a baby 'bout six goin' to take Bess a buggy ride to months old*. morrow afternoon all by thurselves. My sister she didn't say a word. " You are not angry ?" I think they might a asted me to go along. Just as if there was enny thing in I guess I'll go anyways It would that to be mad about I s'pose he be fun to hide under the sete an' hear thought such a ole girl wouldn't like what he says, he's got such a squeaky to be made a baby of. And then he voice. Ide tolked to her a lot of sweet stuff like I'll try to manage it. ast Johnny, tco, only there won't be she was a candy store, you never room. heard! Thinks I, Mister Wilkins, Mr. Wilkins, he drove up, all so if she'd boxed your ears like she has grand, with a new top buggy, an' a mine, you wouldn't call her duv an'

His hair was

friteful red.

3
angel.

A
These
little

Bad Boys

Diary. He
shan't get
in

girls

that

shake an' have some fun.

agane.
I'll

brothers so, never get mad, no matter what the big boys do, I've notised that, but I thought 1 wouldn't say a word, he could have her if he wanted to be such a fool. " The dri goods business is revivcuff their

The horse- shall take and run away with me an' sis,
crall

frite

then

out and stop him. So I struck a match and lit fire-crackers, and thru 'em under

the the

horse's heels,

which went

off like a

ing," sez he, after he'd called her his thousand of brick.

" I angel more'n a duzzen times. think we might venture to have a wedding sometime 'bout Christmas." Then Bess she sez " I never did beleeve in long engagements, Charles, so if you say Christmas I'll try hard to get reddy." Then they didn't say nuthing for a minute or two, and I heard suthin' squeak a little. Mebbe it was the wheel. I guess it was. My gnees hurt so I cannot say for surtain. I was so cold an' hungry, and my elbows crampted, I thought I'd scare Mr.

such

racket

You
fizz,
!

never herd
split,

fuss,

crackle, sizzle,

bang

"Bess she yelled; Mr.

he groaned
lickety split
;

Wilkins
I

the horse

run away
see.

you never

was

awful scart myself.

I called out and

tride to get the ranes, but they was

down under

the horse, and it was dark as pitch. I expected nuthing but we would both be killed.
liattle-te-bang
!

we

went,

miles
left

and

miles.

Mr. Wilkins he was

in the rode, far, far behind;

Bess

Wilkin s,
seat,"

so's to

make him hurry

under
!

" There's
shus

somethin'

up. gave. I the Pretty

sez Bess.

" 0, my oh graOh, Charles, I am sure it is a

dog

!"

will protect

" I be alarmed," sez he. you with my li Ouch, wouch, what can it be ?" " Oh, stop the horse Let me get
" Don't

out," sez Bess. " Let me see what it is," sez Mister Wilkins. He felt around the sete There wasn't any danger."
:
:

every jump the animal yu, it was fereful. soon we began to come Men into town, where it was lite. run out and tride to stop us. Aftei a while the horse he run plump into the livery-stable where he belonged. Wasn't he a knowing horse ? Tharo he stopt rite still and trembled. The men they helped vis out. Then I said to Bess " What for made you yell so ? screaming
tell

hand went on my hair. I bit his "George Hackett, is that you? hand a little to make him think I I thought it was a mad dog a-trying was a dog. " It is a dog !" cried he to bite me all the time. What was "a rabid dog. He's bit me. Oh, that made that noise ? I never was
his

I will go mad I" With that he jumped rite out

so fritened.

You

notty,

wicked boy

mite have been the deth of me. left my sister in. [That showed how You'll get the awfullest whipping you ever had in all your life! I much he loved her 1] The time has come, thought I, to don't beleeve I'll ever, ever get over

and

You

Mister Wilkins takes his Sister out

Oh, Mister Livry-StabelKeeper, won't you take another horse and go back for Mr. Wilkins he's in the road somewhere, a few miles back. Oh, what a mercy that we weren't smashed into 10,000 peaces You bad, notty, Oh, I shall fante see what you've troublesome boy
this nite.

to

Ride.

31

supper.
like
I

Betty is a jewel. She don't Mr. Wilkins nuther, no more'n

do.

She

sez

it

is

too

bad how

get into scrapes, a innocent little boy that trys so hard to be a model. She says that Mr. Wilkins just got back

awful dusty, an' his boot burst out whare he jumped out the buggy. done, Yoitr iiither'll give you fitts-." I ast her had his glass eye begun " I didn't mean no harm," said I; to go. She said it hadn't. She sez " I got under the seat to here what she's going to teze mamma to ast papa I not to whip me this time. Mr. Wilkins would talk about. So now farewell, my diry. I've think if I called a girl a angel, I I've wouldn't jump out an' leve her alone come to the las' paige of the. Oho he'll have told the all my hopes an' feres, as with a mad dog. Dear Lil, she's hydrafobia bad, won't he ? Lily sez in hern. the Mebbe he's got it a'ready, he's bit so keping house. I'm going to visit Mebbe it will make his other her nex' week, if I survive the bad If he's coming ordeal. Betty is bizzy now a eye go when he gits fits going to have 'em, I hope they'll basting cotton batting into my pants come on 'fore Christmas, Miss an' jacket, so there is a fainte hope I may survive. I pray I may. I Bess" I couldn't finish what I had to say; here my father on the stares fare my sister clapped her hand over my the well, my diry. I've got a plan to mouth, the men they grinned, an' I escape. I'll tell it thee. I'm goto.' had to walk off home, 'cause Bsss she to crall into the lower buro drawer pushed me. he can not find me thare. Betty They were sittin' down to tea when will shut the drawer, except a inch we come in. Things smelt so good, for me to brethe. Oh, what a goke, I was dredful hungry but I. had a to, give the guvener away hevy heart I knew I'd catch it. If I hadn't a sneezed he neve* " Perfectly incorrugable," said would a found me in the world! Wot father, when Bess got through. makes fokes alwus sneze jus' wen " You go to bed till I get reddy to tha wish tha woodn't ? That sneze 'tend to you, sir." cost me dere, but let the kurtan drop As I went sloly an' sorrofully upthe seine's 2 harroino: 2 be depicted. stairs I heard Sue an' the docktor I've got 2 big bunches of fire-crackers lair like ..they'd choke theirselves left revenge is swete if pa don't wake up sudden an' say to ma " Is don't kr.o what about. So Betty she sneaked in 'bout 9 that a erthquake or the gudgement o'clock, bringing me a jolly good, hot day ?" my name ain't Georgy Hackett.
!

32

Bad

Boy's Diary.

CHAPTER

IX.
FAIR.

HE HELPS HIS SISTERS AT THE

girls is a reglar mi sa vice they ain't no good like boys. Thnre's one come to stay to our house a week. Her mamma came two; her name is Daisy Dennis. My mamma prommised me a volospede if lie be good all the time they are here. I shall

Little

back there was a awful lot o' pawdust on the carpet which came out o Flora's stumake wen I went to set wat she cride there for. Marami says Ive got to by her anuther dol with my munny, which is real mean
I was saving it to get a bow an narrow. Ime told there are no wile turkeys in this naborhood, but Squirt Petus up the rode he has a flock o tame ones which wood do to praktiss on. I could li low in his feeld unti I got a shot like Buckskin Joe deac turkeys tell no tales. But to go on. Dere diry, from what Ive writ wood you ever dreme I had a heavy heart ? Wood you dreme Ide bin unable to get through one day of the sevun without my kusti unary luck ? I can not bare to conlide even too the feelings that suppress my bosom, as dere Lily used to say in hern. Yet Ive prommiscd to kepe nothing back. Well, we played taking tea and visiting til I was tired, an' Daisy she was mad because I called it girl pla, witch it was, an' I sod to her " It's getting late our folks will have supper in about a hour suppose we pla poor little Charlj Ross." She sade she'd like it well enuff Mamma an' Miss Dennis had gone tc make a call. Bess she was helpin' cook make poundcake 'cause there
; : ;
;

hard to do my best. This is six times I've ben promniised a volospede if I keep out of mischeef, which sumthing allers happened that I didn't get it. They soy axdents will happen in the best reglated famlys, so I gess ours is a awful well-reglated family, cos axdents is allers happening it. I hope none will happen while Daisy is here, cos if I had a volospede I could go a mile a minit, which is fearful fast. One day of sevun has past sloly by. "We plaid with Dolls, cos Daisy had on a wite frock an' her mother woodn't let her muss it up. It was a luvly doll, called Flora, most as big so I wanted to find out as its oner wot made its eyes open and shut, which I discovered was two chunks of led on wires inside its head, but
strive
;

now

they're jnst as cross-eyed as you ever saw old Ben Butler's picture, an' Daisy cride because I made a teenty hole in the top of its head girls is

such babys, gust because crooked.

its

eyes are

Once she went

to

to get
;

pla

tea-party

when

some shugar she came

He

Helps his Sisters at

the Fair.

33

was company, there wan't nobody home. They ware'all at supper, the around to see me abduct poor Charly, poundcake was frosted, and looked so I took him witch was her to tempting to a hungry boy. " O here they are," says mamma, my room, an' she took of her white frock, im' put on my tother suit of looking releved. "Where's Daisy, close, so's to be a boy. Then I got Georgie ? Tell her to come and get

paint box an' mixed up some her supper, an' you come to. There's burnt sienna an' painted her like she room for both." " O, we're playing Charly Ross," was a broonet, awful tanned then she slipt down stairs an' went out sez I, " an' Daisy's lost."
;

my

mile." express wagon, an' wen I come by I answered, sitting down to the table her a walkin' out, I says but they all jump up as if lightning"Little boy, would you like a had struck the house, which it had
; :

I put drove round to the frunt dore with my

walkhi' on the pavement,

Betty's sissors in

and

my pocket

an'

" Whare is she lost to ?" mamma, smiling. " O, way out there 'bout a

asked

ride 1"

only thundered a
says,

An' she
"

"

Be you

little just then. in earnest ?" asked papa,

Thank you, sir," air' got in. taking hold o' my shoulder, that I I drew the wagon as fast thought I should holler, he took hold as ever I could run till we got way so hard. " Yes, sir we agrede to play it, out of the villedge iu a lonesom
So then
;

was Charly, an' I was the I, " I'm goin' to cut fellers wot aducted him, so I left her of those long curls so they wont a good ways of, so's she couldn't be recognize you as their little boy any found esy. I'm sorry now, for it's more." rainin' pitchforks. I gess if you go " Mamma won't like my hare cut," out a peace on the north rode and sez she, an' the little booby began to look in all those fense corners yuli
place. " Get out," sez an' she

cry,

a mouthful a supper me. Miss Dennis rung After that I set her down in the her hans' an' said her child wood be korner of the fence an' tole her she frightened to deth, she was that fraid was lost for sure, an' must stay there of thunder, an' each her deth of cold till mornin'. Then I ruh. away with a gettin' wet altogether she made out she'd die about a duzen deths if my wagon with all my mite. She skreemed and skreemed, but she wasn't found inlmejitly, which i I didn't let on I herd$> cos I wanted didn't see there was any such hurry, her to play she was lost. It had been she was not sugar nor salt, but her a clovv-dy day, an' now it began to ma was in a awful state. rain. "Your a bad, baf., BAD boy," It was quite dark when I reched said Sue, a jerking away the poundet

but I cut head, else they

it

all

of close to her find her tho'

wood have knone her

see.

No

one

two

easily,

you

after that but

34
cake
piece. as I

A
was a reching

Bad Boys
after

Diary.

after

brekfast to-morrow morning " She can't bare the site of me," she

can you have the face to there calmly eting cake with that little angle out in the cold, cold nite Wot's that a sticking out o'
sit

"

How

sez, all

because

it

rained

wen

Daisj

down
!

was gettin lost. I gess her hare will gro agen if it is cut of short yu'd think Ide cut her hed of? I got wet

goin' after her, too, but they didn't your pocket, you little rech ?" "Nothin' but Daisy's hare," I hug an' kiss me, an' make me hot tea ansered. " I had to cut it off, or you'd with lots of shugar, and give me pechesa known her by it. You see she is an'-creme, nor let me lie down on the disguysed. You mustn't look for a sofy whare I could see all the comNo, indeed they hustled me girl, but a boy, so her hare is short, pany. and she is that sunburned you would up to my room, like I was a dog, an' think he was a West Indyon. If you pa he sed he'd be along purty soon. meet a poor ragged little fellow in Humfl I know what that menes. jay old clothes, you'll know it's her." I'm goin' to bild a barrycade, like Miss Denniss she sat right down they do in Paris when there's a war. where she stood. I gess she faneted. If they reche me it will be over the Mamma sprinkled water in her face, ruins of the wash-stand and the buro. and cride herself, an' papa he got a I'll slip down quietly to the pantry lantern. Sue she went along, with an' lay in that pound cake an' some cold tung, then I can stand a sege. about forty of the nabors. I was disgusted. Such a row! Hush, my diry all is reddy for But it was rele fun, too, gust like it the fra The provishuns is laid in, was a child was rely lost as natch eral the dore is locked, the bedstid drew as life. I had to quit my supper to up against it, the buro on top of the go along to show the place. It was bedstid, the looking-glass on top of
! !

down skandelous the way they all. talked about me, gust as if I wasn't Now, here comes papa, nocking present, telling each other how I was for me to let him in. I'll kepe as the worstest boy that ever lived, a still as Bruce did in the cave. I wish allers gettin' into skrapes. boy some friendly spider wood spin his can't play a single thing thout he gets web across my door, so that the into truble, making out I do things on enemy wood see it and think I purpose when its allers axidents. Ime wasn't in. If he should burst the
rite

gust as sorry as ever I can be my harte is hevy as led I woodn't a done it if Ide a known it was naughty. If I shood get Mr. Slocum to pra for me I wonder wood it make me better? I bleve lie ask him next time he cums

what a crash there'll be wonder how long will one large pound cake sustane life. It would be gust like them all, if the glass
dore, oh,
I

gets broke, to say I did

it

that bad
!

here to see Bess.

Miss Dennis

is

goin'

away

rite

boy does everything, of course " After a storm comes a clam." Thre days ago all was dark now

He

Helps His Sisters at

the Fair.

35

piece is made the a pecock, an' nattered him, and got all is sunshine for once little Georgie him to buy seven pin-cuishions, and sege is lined They said they wood" - ait tekettle holders, an' a lot of is vicktorous. ent touch him if he wood come out, things such as a yung man never wich he was glad to do, since hunger nedes. I think my sisters were surwas nawing at his vittals, an' so the prised to see how usefull little the barry- Georgie cood be. furnishure was saved
1

cade was taken down. Miss Dennis has gone home with Daisy. There is goin' to be a fare in our church wensdy an' thursdy night. That's the reson they're so they want my pleasant to me now ade. I had the toothake in my legs

The 2d evening
cesfly.

past
to

of

suck-

draw for the organ I cood hardly wate it was getting slo, so I sade to some yung ladies " Wood you like to see my jackIt

was most time

last night, I
It's
is

done so many errans. goin' to be a jolly fare. Sue

to take ten tickets in

goin'

the
an'

hand-organ for
like to

me

if

Ime good,

help, an' don't get into mischef.

Ide

drawthat hand-organ, youbet! I cood make my livin' and be no more expense to my parunts. If I had a organ and a monkey, Ide give up all idee of being a brakesman.

then

The

fare is over at
"

last.

The The

lites

are fled, garland's dead."

in-the-box ?" They sade " Ye3." So I took it out o' my pokkit and put it on the table, an' out jumped a live mouse I had cot an' put in that afternoon little, teny, harmless mouse. I ask the, my diry, was it my fault they jumped, an' run, an' skremed, and tiped the table over, and the lamp broke, an' the kerosene flew over things? Why did them foolish girls get scared at a mouse ? If they had behaved theirselfs nuthin wood have ockurd. Of course, they coodn't put it out, because they had no presents of mind.

The first nite went off butiful. Some folks fell down stares, they Thare never was a better boy. I crowded an' skwesed so, an' got hurt. wore a button hole bokay, an' sold It was providenshal no lives were five -cent segars for 20 cents, witch lost. Ime sorry the nice yung man was a fare prophet, Sue sed, an' she got his leg broke he was in such a knows I sold sixty, wich was doin' a hurry he jumped over the banistur good bisness. There was a nice he nede not done it. young fellar to the fare he was My sisters got their dresses awful from the city, an' he thunk he was tore. They didn't have time to take a Alexander Selkirk, " monarch of the money-drawer along, so 250 dol;

he survayed;" but the girls did lars perished in the flames. The loss not care, cos he spent his munney on the town hall ia said to be thre like water, so they laffed in their thowsand.
all

sleeves, an' let

him

swell around like

Girls

is

so

silly

'bout

little

36

feel so bad if my handI that's blame for everything. The organ had not got destroid that exI had 10 chances. citizens of this place are goin' to draw pected to draw. up a partishun for papa to send me to It plaid sevral tunes. It was a forkful shame to have it burned tho^e boardin'-skool. Mister Miller's store took fire from girls made theirselfs perfeokly redi but kelous. the town hall and burned up 2

mou-se

A Bad Boys Diary. me woodn't Georgia Hackett

he's to

CHAPTER

X.

THE SURPRISE PARTY.

to send me off to school, it wos bed time, so T said, "Goodsade, " No, he'll be sent bye, Mr. Jennings," and went out as back, wot's the use ?" coz the citizens quiet as a lamb, but I crep back into

Papa wanted

my

but

mamma
yung

wanted me
nice
leg,

to leve the place.

The

citty feller

wot broke

his ness, an' lay

the front parlor, witch was in darkdown on the sofy coz I

he is abul to be out, witch I am very sorry for, cos I shel miss the good things my sisters sent him to It makes my mouth wotter to ete. reckolet them. Reverend Mr. Slocum might as well bang his harp on a wilo tree, for Betty she told me last night confidenshal that Bess was dead in love with the citty chap, an' Betty is a good juge she knows how it is herself; she has a red-hedded bow who looks like one o' those punkins with a candel inside witch I friten her with on dark nitcs. I should not think she wood befritened, they are the perfick imniidge of her Mr. Jennings, whose leg is bow. got well, he called to see my sister he said he must Be,<33 last evenin' go back to town tomoro, but he wood come agane. Bess whispered to me

as a hawk, an' Bess she says " Do, Mr. Jennings, stay til Friday there's going to be a sirprise party on Thursday nite, and we can't get along without you. I wouldn't have little Georgie here about it for the wurld he'd do some mischief, I'm afrade that's the reason I didn't
;

was wide awake

tell

you
to

til

goin'

he was gone to bed be to Judge Bell's

;

it's

we'll

have a luvly time." So he said he'd stay to pleze her, an' he squeezed her hand like it was an orange. It must be true wot Betty says, they will make a match. I wanted to fire a marble at 'em, but I thot ide better not so's Sue wouldn't kno Ide heard about the sirprise
party, an' I lay
lo.

He

asked her was she engaged to

T/:e Surprise Party.

Mr. Slocum.

37

She said she woodn't ever was. She laflod, an' said she he was the last man, wood she was glad I tole her, cos she wasn't good enuff to be a minis- she woodn't let her krimps out now Then he asked her was till evenin, an' she'd put the pillerter's wife. I shams on, and have the girl sweep she good enuff to be his wife. don't kno wat she sade, she spoke so under the beds. Then I went an' asked ole Miss lo, but he most et her up like she Tucker, who goes by the day, to was shugar, an' I fell aslepe. All was dark wen I awoke, so I come, an Johnny Gill, who tends the went up as soft as anything, but the ralerode switch with one leg, an' stairs creaked, and papa he rushed wido Eobison, who whitewashes our kitchen, and the two Green girls who out and fired his pistol. The ball took oph a little peace of work at tailoring a lot of folkes my rite ear, an' made me fall down like it says in the Nu Testament to stairs, so papa was sertain he had ask wen yu give a party witch they killed the burglar, an' he got a lamp, was delited, and promised to go, and an' Sue an' Bess locked their door not say a word all day. My peple that I invited all went and scremed inside, and he an' mamma come down were I was all curled urly. They were all thare before other folkes came, an' Juge Bell he up at the foot, an' she said " Oh, Lord, it's dere little thot it was a sell, because he was up for offis, and Miss Anna she was Georgie Oh, my sun, my sun !" Papa he groned like he was hurted. that mad she put on her bonnit and Mamma she saw the blood on my went away. So the sirprise party face, an' said took thare cake an creme an music He's killed." an come over to our house, where But I was only wounded, like I was they had a very nice time, a soldyer, and I jumped up and sade Papa was awful sorry, cause the I wasn't hurt then mamma had a juge an he was friends. He wonfit of highsterics. Such a time My dered who did it. But I thot wot a ear was wrapped in cotton, and I was pity those poor people went away put to bed wen it was getting dalite. without cakes or sandwitches like we I had my brekfust brot up by Betty, had I gess somebudy tole him but I didn't let on about the sirprise Georgie did it, fur he looked at me even to her. so sharp I thot wood go out in the Mamma she cride some more wen back yard and see if the moon had she came up to see me. I tezed her set. to let me get up. "Wen I was dressed, There was a strange cat come in I slipped out unbeknone, an' went the yard. It was a white and black over to Juge Bell's, an' asked for cat. I said, " Kitty, kitty, kitty 1" Miss Anna, an' told her thare was a but it run away. There was an big party comin to her house that awful owder, so I couldn't stand it, night, so she must be surprised at and I went in,

marry him

if

Bad

Boy's Diary.

The fokes was in the dining-room he wanted to kno if I sented havin' their refreshment, so I went hankerchuf with Ess bokay? They set up a dredful hu papa spoke sternly. in thare. " Georgie," sade he, " did you and cry like I was a wild beste,
go away!" The ladies put their hankerchers to thare faces as if they bad the toothake. Papa grabed me by the shoulder and took me out to the stable, an set me down on some hay,
!

my
But
tell

" O, go

away

that riff-raff to go to

Juge

Bell's ?"

Gust then, before I could anser, thare was a fereful racket outside
ole tin

pans and drums an horns and

for
if I

whissles nuff to
life.

make you def Evry eye turned on me as

the was the gilty culprit. now?" groaned ""What's up, It was offal mene. I could here mamma. the music plaing, and I hadn't had For once little Georgie'sconshunce any supper it was cold and dark was free. " I don't kno, mamma, I gess its in thare, an' such a smell, I almost dide. the callythumpians, don't you ?" Betty she come out thare after a You see, dere diry, I had tole a wile with a lot of cake. It was moon- few fellers round the depot they'd lite wen she opened the dore, so I get cake an cider if they went to saw who 'twas. Juge Bell's an saranaded the Sirprise " Betty dere, I'm here," sade I, Party, witch they had found out it overjoid to see her. was to our house and come here. " Oh," sade she, " I could find you You never hearn such a bedlum as if it was ever so dark, Georgie, by they made thare was about thre my nose,", an she laffed fit to split. duzen of 'em. If Ide knone the But I didn't get mad, cos it was so party was to be at our house I thotful of her to bring me somethin woodn't invited 'em. to ete in that drery place. Dr. Moore went out to quiet the I asked her wood she sta with me, krowd, wich gust houled an yelled but she was too bizzy. She sade like demons, so he came in with his she'd bring me out my other close as fingers in his eres. " You will have to treat them," lie In about soon as ever she got time. them half an hour she brot out, an said, " to get rid of them."

and

tole

me

to sta right thare

till

party was over.

tole me when I had put them on I mite come to the house. Betty is a xlunt girl, I prise her Lily. I got back a little wile before tbe company went away. "You musn make frens with strange cats, Georgie," sade Dr. Moore. They oil tezed me. Mr. Jennings

them some had et it all up, there wasn't time to bake enny
went to get cake, the Sirprise Party
that nite, so one chap throw ed a stone rite thru the parlor window the noise got worse I was so sorry I had sade enny thing to those lo fellows about the saranade. Then Bess sade thare was a big

Mamma

The Surprise Party.

fru4t-cake for Thanksgiving in the store-room, she wood get that ; so papa sent it out with a- lot of sider and his respeks witch they et up an then give " thre cheers for little Georgie," an hollered they wouldn't

39

go away
a speche.
I

til

little

Thanksgiving is the best seson of the excepting Christmas, wich ia Children are very fond of better. Christmas. I kno somethin' about it that is not true, but I shant let on. Thare are a good menny things in Georgie made 'em mince-pies you wouldn't think wen
yere,
:

you ete them mete, apple, suet, was fereful fritened. Papa said razons, sitron, brandy, nutmeg, ein"You've got us into the scrape, mon, pufpaste an' some has snuff. my boy you've got to get us out Cook let me see her make them. I had Johnny's grandmother's snuffof it." So Dr. Moore he put me on his box, which I borrowed without her It looked so much like shoulder an took me out. I xpect knowing it. 1 was pale, but wen they set up a cinmon, I put it all in wen cook was I hope it is good in laffin and a screeching I got indig- in the pantry. nant, so I spoke up real loud and pies. This has ben a busy day. Bess sade:

"Fello citizens" like Ide heard papa down to the hall " we've had 2 unexpected visitors to our Sirprise Party to nite. One come into the bakyard it was a skunk tuther come into the front yard it was the

took

me

out in the country with her

to spend the afternoon.

Thare was

a boy thare, and lots and lots of hickory nuts in the woods, and cows.

Callythumpians. I don't know witch I liked the best. Good nite." " You'll make a stump-speker some day, my sun," sade my father, wen they had gone as quiet as lams, an he Iaifed so much he got over bean angry with me about the affare, but my best close are ruined, they are hurried in the garden, I cannot go to Sunday-skool tomoro ; I'm sorry, for I- prommised Harry Hanks I'd bring him my knife if he'd bring me the Ingy rubber lizzord his aunt gave him I wanted to friten Betty. Next week is Thanksgiving. I hope an' pra my close won't be berried then, for we expect to have all our relashuns to dinner an' stay over nite. I shall have a jolly time.

picked up all we wanted. He me about snakes how they put on a new suit. It is wonderful. I wore my old one cos I was goin' nutting, an' my other was berried. For once I can close the, my diry, without any sadning axdent to mar thy page. I was told I was a very polite
told

We

child.

Bess belongs to an archery club in our village. She took her bow an arrow out so as to shoot in the country where there was lots of room.

When
shoot

she was tired of other boy we borrowed

it
it.

me

an' the

Bess let us have it if we woodn't tored the house, or at any living thing. We went in the pasture, and we put up a noosepaper on a big tree for a target ; but those plagy cows they kep a walkin' about,

40

Bad Boys

Diary.

and most evry time we took ame at the noospaper they would frisk their tales and walk slowly past that tree like they was possest, thare want no utther place to promenaid but that. Finally one o' them arrows hit the boy's father's best Aldernay cow strate in the eye, wot just lade down, kicked once, an' give up the ghost.

I'm afrade, wen the cow don't go barnyard to get milked, his father will not think George Hackett is such a polite little fello but I did not mean to no indede I did not ame at a single thing but the noosepaper, and if that fool cow would kepe walking past whose fault was it
to the

hers

or

mine

CHAPTER

XI.

HE GOES TO CHURCH.
An' she looked all about at the Sometimes docktor Moore lets me to his offis an' play a spell. bottles an' things she's sade to be His offis is on mane street he keeps offal stingy, a perfeck miser an' she a fast horse and a sulky, but he spide a box of sedletz powders, an' won't leve me alone thare cos thare walked rite up an' helped herself to is so much poyson medicine around. a blue one an' a white one, an' put Yesturday he was called out very five cents down on the tabul. Thare was some tumblers an' some sudin a man had a phit so he sade " Georgie, you remane in that ice-water on the tabul, an' some shugar in a jar. I asked her should chare till I return." I sat still til I yawnd like my head I mix the powders. She tliot she'd would come of, then old Miss Baxter get the shugar for nothin' so she she came in and she looked at me sade I might. I made it vary sweet sharp thru her specks an' asked me in 2 tumblers, and told her to drink whare the docktor was. the blue one first and then the uther, " A man's got a phit can I do witch she did as she was told. In anything for you, mam ?" I replide, about a minit she had a phit, also vary polite. O, a offrul phit I can't imniadgin " You, George Hackett," says she wot it was give it to her the pow" You ders were all -rite, She fell rite down, jn a high-up, squeky voice.

come

-r.

let

could pizon me if I was fool enufF to she was black in the face like she All I want is a little fissic, had swollered ink you. she seemed to be an' I ain't goin' to pay no dollar for chokin' to deth. I run out in the
it,

ether."

street to find the

docktor

he

was

He. Goes
nowhare
to
folks old

to

Church.

4*

be scene. I told some Miss Baxter was dyin' in onr offi3, an' they rushed in an' pikked her up in a xosted eondishun an' put her on the lounge; her specks were broke, her dress burst open, the teres were streming out of her eyes as if she were at a funral. They asked her wot was the matter; she sade she did not take it gessed the spontanyous rite she combustshun had all taken plaice in her stummick instid of in the tumbler, witch I suppose it had. She pade 5 cents for her sedletz powder, but it cost her 50 for Anuther pare of specks she did not

quick an' get her mamma to tie it It was gettin' late, an' I was up. that hungry I couldn't wate for the docktor to see the spots on the carpet when he got back. Yet if I went away I was afrade " theves might

brake

thro' an'

steal,"

so I lugged

his skeleton out of a closet

and

set it

in his chare, an' put a surgcal in-

strument into his hand. Then I got some fosforus out of a bottal, and made some eyes on paper, an' put 'em in its skul. It was a hidyous
objeck,

burgler
the

so

you bet

enuff

to fritin

any

I wasn't afrade to leve

offis

in the skeleton's care, an' I

make

as

much

as she

ment

to.

She

shook her old green umbrella at me wen she left, as if I was to blame wot made her try to chete the

docktor

Thare was a drawer under the tabul witch had a nice morocko box in it. I thot there was juelry in it, but it proved to be a lot of quere
little

knives an' things.

as sharp as they could be; so a little girl came in crying that had 2 5 cents and a sliver in her hand. I expect she had been sliding down a sellar dore. I told her to wate, the docktor wood be back very soon but she sade it hurted offal, an' I tole her: "Wood she kepe still if I cut it out ;" but the littul booby didn't kepe still. She gumped gust at the rong time, an' made me cut a dredful gash clere If she had a kep acrost her hand. quite it nede not happened. The blood got all over the new carpet, so I told her to run home
;

They were gust

to supper. docktor says I shan't tend offis for him agane, coz old Miss Baxter is mad, an' Emmeline Elder is down with brane-fever gust coz she run in kwick for some cloroform for nurolagy, an' seen that ded feller sittin' in his bones with his eyes glaring, coz it was gettin' dark in thare, an' she gave a screech and fanted away. Wen she come 2 she was all alone with the skelton, so she gave anuther screech an' went oph the handle agane then the docktor came and brot her to, but she's gone into a fever, hollerin' all the time but they nede not blame me. I put it up t fritin burglurs, not girls, wich was

came home

Now the

all rite.

I forgot to

come

menshun the in with the toothake.

boy who It aked

that bad he coodn't stand it while I was gettin' the skelton out the closet,
so

he helped

me
it,

fix

it,

an' I

gave him
of,

the cloroform bottle to smell out

and he smelt

and while he was

42
his

Bad

Boy's Diary
1 st.t

doing it I told him to pore a lot on did they every hankercher it would ease his a bad, bad boy
pane.

up

We
I I

to say I was ar all libul to

fu, like
I

make
gust
lade

mistakes.
folks.

make a

back an' let the bottle drop. It broke of coarse, an' then he woodn't answer me when I asked him if his tooth aked now, so I came home an' left him thare coz the offis was that strong of cloroform I had to go away. He and Emmeline was both thare, unconshus, when
the docktor arriv. Ime sorry the bottle broke, coz the Btuff was worth 3 dollars, and the boy most dide but I hope his toothack stoped. I should not thought Emmeline wood been scared at a objeck put up to scare robbers. Docktor Moore he says thare must a been a burglur come in after all, coz is gar of gum-drops is gone; but
;

He

other

Am

wickud cos

didn kno' snuff wood spoil mince-pie, or that old Miss Baxter wood fizz like a 4 o' July catherine-wheel if she didn't mix her drinks before she swolloed them ? fello has to find out for hisself by bitter experience a

home with her brake every nick-nak she's got she always was a brick she knows little boys has there trubles like other
if I
;

grate menny things. Lil says I shal go

folks.

Dere diry, in thy pages I sollumly resolve to be a good boy to-moro as ever was, so as to get to go back with
Lil.
;

One day shall pass over little Georgie's head in pease an' quiet he little Johnny an' me knoes whare will go to church in the forenoon, in that is out behind the barn. the afternoon he will rede in The Tomoro
is

but Ime Sunday Library; he will kepe his close nete an' be a perfick little gentleman like he is told. Aunt Betsey is here, 2. Papa rote her a letter asking her to make up an' be friends an' share our Thanksgiving turkey so here she is; she gave me a gold dollar when she came, an' Mr. Jennings is coming out from the city to dinner, to he is t of our family now; Bess says she cos she's cot Mr. Jennings an' throwed wants her aunt to see him she is Mr. Wilkins overbord, witch has thinking about that solid silver teanever come to our house since the set. Lil brot me a funny toy ; it is horse run away. Dere Lil came Chinese it is pinned up in a little home to nite to spend to-moro with peace of cloth you take the pin out She asked was I as bad as ever, suddin an' out jumps somethun black, us. cos she'd like to take me home with like a snaik, half way crost the room. her to stay a week. I've fritened cook an' everybody with
Thanksgiving
;

not to have a single peace of pie the hull day, cos Johnny's grandmother's snuff made a nasty mess of our mincemete, so we throed away all we baked. Thare's lots of appul an' punkinpie, but Ime not to get any. I think it is rele mene. Imepartiklarly fond of pie. My sister Bess is that set up that you can't speke to her hardly,

wood dearly

love to go.

Why

it;

it

makes them

holler

it

jumps out

He
so kwick.

Goes

to

Church.

43

Mr. Slocum slap acrost the was shut saying a down into tumbled Then it I like him prayer. dinner to-moro. ete any He wants me to go the quire, an' wiggled around like it ever so much. was alive. back with them. The yung ladies who sing in the Thanksgiving has come an' gone. They I am not to go home with my married quire thought it was a snaik. sister. The teres in my eyes makes' gumped up on their seats such a me rite this crooked, so you must sceen in church was perfeckly disWhen they saw what it excuse it, dere diry. I got up urly graceful. and tride very hard to be a prize boy was, one came forwud very solium, wiping his spektikels, an' says he like them you rede of. " This wicked, shameless purson, After brekfust I took over some His who can play a goke like this in the of my candy to little Johnny. mother has a baby witch came there sankuerry, is 2 depraved to kno' how about two weeks ago; I gave it a bad he his. Such outragus conduck
lot an' struck

Montagu brought me a

of candy that I don't fele as if I could nose wile his eyes

shugar-plum when the nurse wasn't \ooking cos it et so funny it made us laff, but the little simplon tride to swaller it before it chude it, witch made it choke so that dredful nurse had to stand it on its head an' its mother made me go strate home. I went down town to buy somethun' with my gold dollar, but the stores was clozed, so I bought Pat Finegan's bull-pup witch was 2 dollars, I ode

is

too

lo'

for

us to notiss

let

us

sing."
flore,

wood sink thru the coz all the peple looked at me as if they gnu who did it. I dropped the hymn book I hurrid so to find the hymn, an' when I stooped to pick it up, the pistol Pat Finegan lent me to
I felt as if I

see if I

wood

like to

buy

it, fell

out

my

him
It
I

the uther.

go to church when my dog in the down hard on a toomb-stone, an' stab ill, an' went along beside of Lil, sade " George Hackett, yure a heavy who looked that pritty, an' wore a elegant dress, that I was proud of cross to bear. Yure a skandal to her. yure trends. Ime at my wits end to Mr. Slocum preched a oil'ul long kno' what to do with you," and he sermon, that made me slepy and walked up an' down an' groned, hungry. I wish I had not taken like his boots was too tite. my Chinese toy to church in my I did not kno' what could be done pokkit, coz I was so tired 1 took it with me either I was in despare. out on the sly gust to see if it was all Fin'ly I sade " I wish I had joined the circus rite, an' the pin come out suddin by axdent, and fore I new it that long when it was here if it's 2 late in the black thing flue rite out in church, seson for that, papa, may be Ide

was time

to

tuther pokkit and ixploded. Such a rackit Papa took me by the sholder, an' led me down the isle out into the graveyard, an' he set me
!

got home.

I hided

44

Bad Boys

Diary.

beter be a mishunary, like Mr. Slo rope, and my hands behind me like cum says he's a going to be. Then if cook fixes her tirkeys to be rosted. I got et up by cannibull, you woodn't I could here the dishes rattle an' be trubbled by little Georgie's offal smell the dinner when they oil came
trix

any more.

wish I wood

git

back

time

never

past

so

slow.

Immadgin my joy when I heard Johnny whissle in our yard I up tight, so as things woodn't happen called him softly, He sawed the to make you grone." rope in 2 and untide my hands.
the mesles and die, coz I ain't fit to live. I wish I was put in jale or tide
!

" Don't let on to my folks, Johnny," sade I. " Ime goin' to take my squirl fore the and my bull-pup, an' go way someuthers got out of church, an' tide me whare whare fokes won't kno' how in the woodshed to a beam with a bad I am."

" That's
;

it !"

said papa, britening

up

you up, sir." An' he marched me home

I'll tie

"

CHAPTER

XII.

HE BECOMES A LUKGLAR.
" Whare are you goin' ?" he asked, !" says he, as ezy as enny" thing, whare is my little gentleman when I had et it. I nu tramps wasn't very good theirgoin' in such a hurry 1" He sat under a selves, so I thought Ide tell him the It was a tramp. tree by the rode-side, eting a hull hull truth.

"

Hullo

mince pie. I had been running away about 2 hours. My squirrel was in my pockit, but my bull-pup wasn't along, cos he'd gone off when Pat Finnegan called him, gust as if I hadn't pade a dollar for the little "iliefe he was a dishonest pup.

" I've run away from our folks,

coz Ime such a dredful bad boy they are ashamed of me." " O," says he, " yure a bad one,

" Wot you be you !" and he lailed. been a doin', bub ? commiting murder, or braking into a store ?" " Hullo, yourself," sade I. " Nothing like that, Mister Tramp," " Sit down an' rest, an' have a sade I; "but I'm alwus getting into mischief, like I was the worstest boyin peace of my pie," sade he. " Thank you, I will," sade I for the world so I come away. If I had was rcehedly hungry, that it a monkey and a organ I could suport 1 teemed as if my legs woodn't carry myself, so my parents nede not bother enny more about me." me anuther step.

He

Becomes a Burglar.
thru a
little

45

" I've got both," said he verykwick. " Thare back in the woods thare, with some of our people. You shall have 'em both, if you come an' stay with us. have jolly times picking up nuts an' appuls, an' cooking our supper in a kittle over a

very
in.

windo, an' I must crepe to the hall dore or the kitchin dore an' unbolt it an' let them
softly

We

Thare was a lot of money in that house, witch they wanted. So

got the slats off a
little

they

tiny
lifted

big

fire."

window witch was open, and me up and pushed me threw

itw;;s

So I sade I would try how I liked a tight-squeze. " Here's some maches," whispered it. There was 5 friteful looking felloes they. "..You lite 'em and find your in the woods. If you make a sound I was sorry I was way to a dore. there but they laffed, and patted me they'll catch you for a robber, an' on the head, and said, "O what a you'll be hanged." The cold swet stood on my forrid, brave boy am I !" like I was Jack Horner. Thare wasn't enny fire, my limbs trembled. What wood nor enny kittle over it, nor no dere mama say to know her little monkey, but thare was a hand-organ, sun was a burggler ? I had run an' they gave me some bread an' away to get a chance to be a good cheese, an' we lay down when it got boy, yet here I was a thousand times It was my fate. dark. I was so cold I cride, coz badder than before. " Hurry up there !" growled a there wasn't enny Betty to tuck me up warm but I did not let them hoarse voice threw the window. I struck the match it went out. kno I cride. Pretty soon I fell aslepe, but they waked me up, and I struck another, and looked around. ff W sade " Come along we've got to tramp Hump! that bad boy Georgia it now. If yure a good boy an' do Hacket has been the hero of the even the minister has as we tell you to-nite, yure forchune town to-day is made. If you don't do gust what shook hands with him, cos peple are we tell you, you will never live to glad those offul men are cot an' put in jale. Thare have bin about 20 houses see the lite of anuther day." No tung can tell how I felt when I robbed this fall in various places. We They found the goods and silver hid herd them horrible words. walked till my legs was that tired I away in a hollo tree, where I showed cood hardly lift them. Two of them 'em the fellows et their suppers in staid behind, and we went into a the woods. I will explane to the dere town whare thare was houses on both diry. When I lited the match I looked sides. It was offal dark, and it began We went into a yard the around and saw our own pantry, to snow. men whispered to me if 1 spoke or cook's a prim on a nale, the remanea made a noise they would choke me of the plum pudding on a platter, fi.'v to deth they was goin' to put me heart beat wildly, I felt my way uj
;

<f

"ffc

46
stares,
it

Bad Boys
I

Diary.

was pick dark, but

knew

the way. " O, papa," I cride, " get

up and

shoot them, if you pleze, so they Such won't choke Georgie to deth." They could not understand a sceen Montagu rushed in, the hired jit first. liian came down out the attic, they ^ad 2 pistols an' a shot-gun when They they sallid out to mete the fo. couldn't find the fo at first, but they routed out the sherif, an' got out
!

some
an'
I

horses. It begun to be dalite, was took along to show the way. They cot the whole 5, so I gess I I told Maud I didn't think I should will not go with tramps agane, but ever marry Betty. She looked down stay at home and be respecktuble. at her slipyers thout saying anything. It has been over a fortnite since I I didn't do one notty akt 'cept to wrote in the diry. Christmas is ap- stick out my foot sudden, wich made proaching fast. Two days after a boy fall down, but that was in fun. Thanksgiving I went home with Lil I slep on a lounge in Lil's sittinand Montagu to spend a week. We room, cos the boarding-house was went thare on the ralerode. They full. It was urly when I woke up. I do not kepe house, they board. got up softly and dressed, and slipped " Behave your nicest, Georgie out to see how the town looked. It dere," Lil told me, " there's a good was a large plaice, mutch larger than menny fashionable pople in the house. ours. I could see ships and water. I don't want to be ashamed of my own So I asked a man. He said it was little brother." the Hudson river. I went down " Do they know I am a bad boy, then to see wot was going on. There sis?" I asked her. was a steme-bote puffing away at the " They never shall kno it, Georgie, dock. Lots of folks was going on unless you let it out," she answered. borde. So I went to, just to look Dinner was reddy when we got around and ask the man at the wheel thare a stunning dinner, you bet, a few questings.

eel, and she looked at me just aa much. Montagu told me the little folks were going to have a dance in the parlars after dinner he would take me in and I might dance if I liked. Maud was the little girl's name. I had a elegant time. She was very pleasant to me, let me dance with her several times. I made up my mind I would never marry Betty no matter how good she was to me. If her cross-eyed boy didn't marry her she would have to be an old made.

of courses an' ice creine at the end, and the ministers that wated on the table just as polite to me as to the grone-up people. There was a little girl opsut us at the tabul dressed in a ruffled silk, with kid gloves and a pink sash, a mity pritty girl. I kept looking at her a good
lots

" How soon will she start ?" asked him. " She's started now," said he.

Sure enuff! the wheel was splashing like ennything. The plank was
hauled
"
I

in.

want

to get off, if

you

pleze,"

I sade.

He
He
:

Becomes a Burglar.

47

lafled, and ansered " You'll have to wait a spell." " Can't I telegraf to my sister
she'll

think I'm lost."

He was a ruff sort of fello. All he said was, " Nary telegraf," and he grinned like he was tickled about something. I felt the teres come, but I wood not let him see I was unesy. So I began to whissel. I
was cold. I wanted my brekfust. I hed no money to pay my way I was
;

homesick. I gess I looked blu, for pritty soon he asked me hedn't I better go in the cabin thare was a There wor a fire thare so I went. lot of ladies and gentlemun in thare. They did not notis me at first, but by and by they asked me who I
; ;

I told them I was belonged to. They was carried oph by mistake. sorry for me, an' asked me so many questings about my name an whare I lived, I finally told 'em about my diry, and what a bad boy I was, alwus getting into scrapes witch I Mr. Jennings lived? " Don't kno, bub ask one o' the didn't mene to and now Lil will think me offly wicked cos I got took cops 7 " was his repli. I went on a spell, then I saw a away when I was gust looking to sea what makes the wheel go round. A baker's shop, an' I went in an' asked

He gave the stuardes a dollar to take care of me, and told me to remane right there in the cabin all day, and I would be perfeckly safe. They shook hands good by when they went of the boat. You never saw such a lot of ships. The boat It was noon. was to start back at three. I got tired when the boat didn't go. I was eting some apples she gave me fore she went down stairs to get her dinner. All of a sudden I thought of Mr. Jennings. " I guess I will have plenty of time to go and see him before the boat starts," I said to myself; so I sliped of without a word to the stuardes for fear she wood say no. Goodnis grashus when I got out that woodshed on the street, I thought thare must be a fire such a crowd I went acrost the rode an' looked up at all the sines for Mr. Jennings' name, but I did not see it, so I asked a man wood he plese tell me whare
!

lady called the stuardes to get me for some donuts. " How many ?" sade the woman. some brekfast. After that a gentle" Bout 9," sade I. man told me if I wood rite a telegram he wood see it sent himself as So I thanked her very polite, an' soon as we got to the city. They was going out, when she scremed gave me a peace of paper and a enuff to friten a bear. " Where's your money, you little pencil and I wrote

do skamp ?" boat. So I told her I was lost and had Do not be alarmed. Little Georgie none, and I lade the donuts back, an' I will be back to-nite on went out feeling real sad. I asked is all rite. Plese ask them to wate evreybudy that wood stop long enuff the boat. dinner till I come."

"Dear Lil I did not mene It was oil the folt of the it.

to

43

Bad Boys

Diary.

whare the boat was, and where Mr. Jennings lived. You never saw such a ignorant set Not i could tell me. I saw on a steeple that it was 4 o'clock, and I began to cry, coz my legs felt like they was Weston's legs. grate big man in a blue coat took hold my
!

bunk such a funny bed, like a box Somebody woke me up sobbing like I set up their heart would brake.
!

and rubbed

my

eyes.

" O, you notty, boy," cride Lil.

notty,

darling

man, wot's the matter ?" " 0, sir," sade I, " I wish I hadn't got on the boat, an' I wish I hadn't got offen the boat, and I wish folks in the city wasn't such a ignorant set. They can't tell a poor little lost

sholder. " Yung

boy where Mr. Jennings

Georgie Ilackett, alwus in hot water, but
little

lives.
sir,

Ime who is

it isn't

my
lost.

She was quite pail, an' her eyes were red. Montagu was there to. They had come down on the trane after the boat had got back without me on board. I asked her was Maud did they wait dinsory I was lost ner wot was she crying about ? She sade she was crying cos she had found me at last. I told her she was a dear old o;oose. She might have some reason to cry if she had not found me, but now I was
; ;

not to tell the folks at homa Ide got into another scrape ; I didn't mene to. So I shook hands with the " Well, Georgie," says he, " if you big gentleman in the blue coat, and are lost we must try and find you." invited him to come and see me some He was a very good man to me, day, and Montague he took us to 5 only he was a sort of inquisitive. Avenue to spend the rest of the nite; He asked me so many questions I but I've told Lil (confidentially) I could hardly ete my supper. Folks don't blieve Mr. Jennings is as mutch in the city ete in their sellers such of a felloe as Bess thinks he is, else a dirty habit the people of New York would a That nite I was sound a slepe in a knone more about him.
fault.

If the boat hadn't

come away

all rite

before I I didn't

nu it, I wouldn't a got mene to."

The Last Straw.

49

CHAPTER

XIII.

THE LAST STRAW.

I

ah fond of most

all

sesons of the
is is

year,

specially Chrismus, witch

jolly generally.

Cook

that cross

with
a

fring

dormts,

cakes, stuffing fowls,

making frute a boy can't take

hunch of raisins or a little stik o' cinmon 'thout she snaps him up like She won't an offal cute riting-desk; so I told she was a fire cracker. allow me to play marbles with the Docktor Moore, confidenshaly, Sue nutmegs, nor lick the spoons she was embroidering him the loveliest sturs her cake with, nor grate my smoking gacket he ever saw, cos I chunk of chalk on her nu grater, nor peked through the kehole and saw have a bit of fun in the kitchen. I her do it. He sade " Yure a sad roge, George." have to kepe out of it all the time it But I am not sad xcept when papa smells so delishus, its hard on a boy. Bess and Sue they are going to says, " Go up to yure room, sir, an' They wate til I come." That makes me reseve calls on New Yeres.

I wish I knew what he intends I know wot my sisters bringing me. is going to give me, for I looked in a box under a nuther box in the closet of their room, an' I saw a pair of slippers about my size, and some hankerchers with G. H. on 'em, and

say its an offul lot of trubble to re- solium. Ime a little sad, too, about Santa seve calls all day, an' have pikkled oysters, an' coffy, an' cold turkey, an' Clans not bein' abul to.squeeze down I our chimbly. Its a wate on my cake, an' ware their new silks. I I cannot shake it off. think Ide better tell sum of the fel- mind. loes to tell the rest to stay away, coz asked papa to-day woodn't he have the masons come an' make it larger, my sisters say its to much trubble. He sade he Ive had a wate on my mind for but he shook his head. moren a weke. Ive been up stares gessed Old Santa nu enuff to take an' down. Yisterdy I tride to climb care of himself. up on the roof to look down the chimI think it would be a sell if the poor bly, but it was so slipery I nerely old felloe got cot so manny uther rolled off and killed myself, so I had children wood be dispointed in those to give it up. Ive carefully xamined houses whare he had not been. Ive the grate in mamma's room. For looked up our chimbly, and I believe the life of me I cant see how the old if a fa bricks wur out he could slip feller can come down such a smal thru as esy as anything to our house. place. Chrismus wasn't a very nice day If he should get stuck it wood be a sad axdent. to our house not so nice as I es-

5o
pected.
I

A
was
sick in

Bad Boys
all

Diary.
:

Then papa he sade " George, what did you put gunsick to. Mebbe I got a good powder in the chimbly fur ?" I cride many presents. I don't exactly kno. " O, papa. I did not mene to Things was sort of confused that rely did not mene to. I only put in day. It seems we had a axdunt to our bout a teacupful, just enuff to bio' house on Chrismus Eve. It was out three or fore bricks to*.. make it about nine o'clock. Lil an' Mon- big enuff. Was thare anything rong tagu, laid Mr. Jennings, an' evry- about that, papa ?" " Q, no, George," says he, vary body was in the parlor we had nuts, an' appuls, an' cake, an' mama sade sarkastic, " nothing at all. Eepares
bed
day,

and was

for three days afterwards.

Mama

Ide better go to bed fore long, coz if won't cost more'n 300 dollars, an', of Santa Claus came and found me up coarse, you don't mind mamma's he'd go away again so I went up- bein' sick an' the loss of your Chrisstares like a snale, I wasn't slepy any mus gifts." I've been vary lo-spirited sinse he sade that. Ime a dredful more than Mr. Jennings was. Bout five minuts after I reched expense to the family its uncomthe top of the stares thare was a forable havingfelloes at work this cold vary loud noise indede like the weather and, worst of all, I've lost wurld was comin' to an end some- my presunts that Ive ben looking forthin' hit me on the head that hurt ward to fur wekes. By the remarks terribul they say I didn't kno a some peple make I rely beleve they thing for more'n six ours. It seemed wish I had ben blone up rite thru the chimbly in mamma's room had the roof for good and ajl. Papa says flue into a thousand peaces, an' one he won't be abul to get his inshurance of the bricks had hit me on the side renude in this town, he will have to of the head it is a mersy I was not go to the city whare they don't kno' killed, fur the reck is compleet. about me. Grone-up peple are that Evry pane of glass is broken, the unreasonable they xpect childrun to miror is shatered, the cealing has kno' things fore they have found out. fallen down, the carpet is wet whare Jimmy Blake he come to see me "We can not to-day an' he told me I need not the water-pipe burst. have a fire except in the kitchun. have made the chimbly any biger beThe frite made mama ill. Papa says cause Santa Claus was only papa and it is a wonder the hull house was mama after all, so I asked Sue she When I came to said Jimmy was a humbug. He not bursted up. they wur wundering what had made showed me the new knife he got I it. went to see if it was rele sharp an' I I sade p'raps Santa Claus had a cut a hole in the bedspred, but Betty bunch of fire- crackers in his bag, an' promised me she'd darn it. My sisters is very ankshus to get they went off. Docktor Moore said " Yes, that must be it." the house repared before New Years.
; ;

The Last Straw.

1

5*
little

don't think they nede fret about

it,

send away a poor, Horn

child to

coz I told the yung gentlemun down boarding-school. Our folks woodn't let to the post-offis the day before Chris-

was the donashun party I tezed to go, I like to save my coz I wanted to see what evry buddy 2 much trubble. The wood bring, it wood be such fun, so sisters all the trubble I can. bump on my head is sloly subsid- I* went by myself fore they started. The minister had gust got through ing. Douktor Moore says I may go out supper when I came there, but they doors -tomoro. There is xlent slay- let me stay. So Mr. Peters he came oil and he brought starch. Mr. Blakeing the snow is a foot deep

mas they had

better not call

it

me

go to

the girls an' felloes are having a hi land came,

I'm the bells are jingling. fereful sorry I lost my sled when the chimbly blew up. Nite after next thare's going to be a donashun party to the minister's -not Mr. Slocum, They think it will be a tother one. good one, because the rodes are splendid, and it is the hollyday seson. The minister's wife she came to see how_,my head was she an' mama talked about the donashun I heard her say, sorter laffin, she hoped some buddy wood bring a box of starch, coz she was out, an' her husband liked his collars stiff. I gess lie go doun strete in the morning an' let Mr. Peters kno' about the starch he keeps a grosry. Dere diry, good- by, I'm off my trunk pakked. Betty and mama have cride till there eyes is red. Ime going away to school about 100 miles to a plaice witch it says " A helthy home in the country for ;i fu little boys terms reasonbul good tabul, careful traneing." 1 pity them whare I am going, coz I'm such a monster my sisters are frantic. My father says I am a nuisance a first-class nuisance, but Betty says it is a burning shame to
time

and he brought starch. Mr. Jones brought starch. Mr. KobiEvry' buddy son brought starch. brought starch. There were 18 boxes of starch and several pound
packages. First the minister's folks they smiled, but when it kep coming they got mad, and by-in-by he said very solium " If this is a joke, my friends, it ia a poor one." And then the whole crowd looked over at me, whare I was examining a fotograf album, and sade :
:

" Georgie told us> so." only did it coz I herd her say she wanted some. I thought I'd make 'em bring enough. I don't think I ought to be took by the ere an' told to go home before the refreshments. Some folks wood be glad to have it to make corn-starch puddings with. Ime discurridged trying to do what people don't want
I

me

to.

So the next day there was a grand

ride. Any buddy didn't ask Bess coz she is engaged to Mr. Jennings, who is in the city I heard her say she wanted to go awful, so I happened to be down by his store, and I asked the felloe she gave the

slay

52

Bad Boys

Diary.

mitten to that the horse ran away, to set a stylish table, oysters is dere, woodn't he take Bess to the slay ride? it don't pay, the young men are shallo crechures any way, they beg to be He said " No, he woodn't, if she was the excused this year. last woman on erth." Sue Hackett. Bess ought not to have slapped me Bess Hackett." lor asking him, when I did it, coz she Sue, she was looking over Bess's sholder both my sisters got as red wanted to go. Next day was New Years. Tliare as fire then as pail as chalk an' didn't any buddy call to our house, sat rite down as if they hed stepped there was dead silence the girls were fixed up to fits wating, on a tack lots of nice young felloes went by, like you'd wak'd up in the middle some of them came up to the door of the nite the bells gingled joybut they did not come in, coz I had fully, as lodes and lodes of nice feltied a basket on the bell handle to lows went gayly by our house. " George Hackett, I disoan you put their cards in to save my sisters Along about noon Bess from this our !" Sue finly gasped. trubbel. " This is 2, 2 much I shall never took me by the shoulders, and said " George Hackett, you've been up hold up my hed again This is the Look me last straw !" to some o' your mischief. There wasn't any straw as I could strate in the eye and tel me what see Ide only meant to have my sisyou've done." ters have an ezy time. Girls are so I looked her strate in the eye. "I didn't do nothing at oil, only to ungrateful, they never ought to have save you the fatege of receiving calls," a loving little brother that pays out I sade. 25 cents his own money to put a " What did you do ?" she repeted, advertisment for them in the paper never I thought if no young shaking me harder an' harder. " I gust writ a fu words and took gentlemen called I'd have a lot ol 'em into the office of the paper like cake, an' mottoes, an' things they other folks do when they want to ad- didn't eat, coz they didn't come sted of that I was jerked out of the vurtize." Then Bess snatched up the news room an' made to stay up stares. paper witch came the day before an' New Yeres was the longest day of all read all over it quick til she came my life if the cat had not come in to the speshal notis collum, where it where I was I beleve I should have gone insane cats ain't all the time sade " To oil whom it may concern telling a little boy he is horrid, so 1 The Miss Hacketts won't be to home gess Miss Bess will be surprised when New Year's Day, coz their Keith is she opens her bonnet-box to ware delcate, they have a pane in then- her new bonnet to church to see the side when they ware their nu siik cat gump out the box I put her in dresses, an' it's a ofl'ul site of trubbel last nite.

Great Improvement.

53

So now, once more, farewell. I my squirl on the table first time I go expeck to be very quite in school. to brekfast. I've prommused mamma not to disHio how lonesome I fele. That grace her if I can help it. I've got old gentleman in the next sete, he's my squirl in my pocket, nobody fast asleep. I wonder if he gumpcd
!

knew
\\

I
it

ood

make

took him along. I wonder when I stuck a pin in him wood hia the boys laugh if I put spectacles fly off ?

CHAPTER

XIV.

A GREAT IMPROVEMENT,
Last be homesick long, long time niorin half a hour thinking about Betty and her crost-eyed beau to home in our kitchen; wile here was I, a poor little boy, banished from the herth of my four fathers,
sad
it is

How

to

she, witch
I didn't

made me
;

fele

very bad.

nile I lay

awake a

want her to trubble herself. I'm not a baby besides my mama

sulken when line only homesick, witch who could help who had to have a dickshunnary in his chair to ete his meals and make the other boys jeer at him on the sly ? The way they teze a felloe is enuff to drive him frantic. I am that snow-balled, like I was a fence-post, it would make Betty cry if she could see them. My silk hankechuff is taken away, my mittens is on the roof, where the cat took 'em when they put 'em over her head. I have not shed a single tear. They cannot crow over me. Jack Bunce says Ime a brick, an he'll stand by me. He is a very large boy, so I have one J rend. O, how retched to be far from all you love, just when mince-pies and hickory-nuts are ripe. When I think of three barls of sweet appels in our sellar it seems as if Ide fly.
don't call

me

that sick an' wery of the wurld, I was disgusted with the gingerbread

they gave us for our supper. mamma, send an bring thy poor Georgie home I cannot endure the way Professor Pitkins tolks about my spelling. I cannot indure the hash and otemeal they have for brekfust. I cannot indure the incults of the big boys. They don't seme to think little boys has any more feelings than a tode. You can cut of a tode's head and it won't mind it a bit. I think it's off ul fun first find your tode. " Speshal care taken of small
!

pupils," says the- sirkular.

Mrs. Pitkins she rung

my

lather's

hand
"I'll

be a muther to him/' says

54

Bad

Boy's Diary.
prommussed
she alwus took that deep intrest in the, my diry to ask cook to plese send me a box, and won't Betty help her seed the raisons, so there will be no time lost. There is a lady here; she heres the small boys lessons. I like her very much, but Jack Bunce says she is an old made. What if she is? Her name is Miss Haven. She seems fond of me. I have told her in confidence how I was called a bad boy at home, but didn't do it on purpose. She pittys me very much. She says I may come in her room when I am lonesum. I think I will go there

Mrs. Pitkins is quite a fleshy lady, tho I don't see how she comes so unless she etes by herself between meals. I sit next to her at table on Webster's dickshunnary to make me
hire.

This morning
hotel

went

polite, like the cullored

to be very water at the

so I

where Lily bordes,

off

jumped

the dickshunnary quick to pull her chare away when she got up, witch she didn't know I knew enuff, and foolishly sat down agane. Of course she sat down on the floor.

down

O, such a thump

But was

it rite

she should get in a temper with me and say I did it a purpose ? So now she's going to write to my folks that Ime the worstest boy in school, only she's got to wate a day or to til she is well agane. She's got an ofFul gar. If she had been china she'd have broke. Ive begun to study geografy. It says the erth is round, but I don't see it. There is a big one in the school-room. You can turn it around with your hand. Ime going to cut a piece out with my nif'e, cause I've

this evening.

Betty used to tell me Friday was an unlucky day I gess it is. All the boys are at supper now, excepting me. I am not to have any. It is very sad to get into disgrace the first

week you are in a strange scool. If ever a boy tride hard not to do what he didn't mene to, I am that boy. I have come to the conclusion
-

I am a failure. Maybe if I were deaf and dumb and couldn't see, I would not have so many axdents

that

alwus wanted to know

or the dirt went all the way through. I olso study rithmatic. It is a quere book. It tells you how if John has seven kites Charles will have twice seven, witch is too many for one boy, lest it is very windy and the strings get away. It will be the kite seson in March;

hapen. Professur Pitkins has got a cold in his head. You ought to hear him sneze and sneze, but he's tide it up in a large red silk handkerchef, witch is better than nothing. Mrs. Pitkins is still in bed, but she sent for me to tell me I was a bad boy over again. I wish she had something new to say. but if I am doomed to remane in She cride as i she had the toothake this place, Ime afrade I shall not when she told me she was afrade it have the spirits to fly any. Plane would be the death of the professur. boiled rice with molasses is so discur- I said: " If it is his death, will scool ridgeing I shall rite to Betty, as I
if it

was

hollo,

A
shut

Great Improvement.
;

55

up an

be sent home?
it

rapti;re unconfined," as

Pinafore.

She said
little

"

You

are a

imp."
:

O joy, I crop back to the dining-room the says in gnifes were on the table, 1 at every plate. I took a gnife an stole up to I run hartless the professor still as a mouse the gnife around his head like I'd
;

I don't call it hartless to

want

to read the redskins do,

an took

off his

go home. It was this way Bout a nour after tee last evening, 1 crep into the dining-room to see had the girl forgot to take the cookies of. It was offul warm an' nice there, cause they use it for their sittin-room. Professur Pitkins he was stretched out on a lounge behind the stove with a book, but he was not reading, because he was nslepe. Mrs. Pitkins she was not

scalp offul ezy, so he wouldn't

wake

then I got on my hands and nees an wriggled over the carpet, pretending it was grass. He did not wake, so I got out in the hall, an then I made a brake on tipto for the long room where the boys was studying.

up

"Whoop! whoop!"
!

yelled

" I've but durst not yell very loud. got his scalp 'Fy had a belt, I'd
fasten
it

on."

there, too, bein' in bed on akount of You never herd the time she sat down on the flore. those pupils made.

such a row

as

We were oil alone. The cookies had been locked up. I went up
to see how he snored so was not afrade, because he was aslepe You would have thought he was in pane to hear him snore you pour water out of a bottle and wistle at the same time it will be like that. Oil at once I saw the top of his head had come partly off. I was fritened for fear it would kill him. I run up stares an told Jack Bunce.

close to

him
I
!

funny.

" Bully for you, Georgie !" "You'll be expelled!" " The professor will be offul mad !" " How dare you do it ?" " Stick to it, Georgie 1" " Less see wot it looks like !" had jolly I passed it round. fun. I tride it on so did the other felloes. Then they put it on mo agane, and they put me up on the hi desk, and sade " Give us a leckture, Georgie !"

We

le said

"
is

Shaw

he wares a wig

his

wig

it

slipped partly off."

I

So I put my hand behind me, like was the professor's cote tail, an coffed an clered my throte, a'n said
:

asked him what was a wig ? He said " It's what the Injuns take off when they scalp a man." " Has Professor Pitkins I asked been scalped ?" He said " No, but he ought to be. He's that cross, scalping is 2 good for him." Jack was bizy with his Latin, so
: : :

gentlemen, I wish to call yure attenshun to-day to the anmal kingdum, witch is all sorts
!

"

Hem yung
sizes.

and

The

elefunt

is

sevral

than the flea, but the flea has got the grab on the elefunt when it comes to jumping. I would riot want an elefunt crolling up an down
sizes larger

my

back when

was

aslepe.

w ili

56

Bad

Boy's Diary.

not kepe you long to-day, yung he better go to bed and have a musgentlemen, because I kno you wish tard plaster on his head. little He said if it were not so soon after to go a-snow-balling poor Georgie Ilackett, the smallest boy in the holidays he would suspend the scool ; such wicked boys desurved to scool." They let me come down after that. be disgraced he was almost certain Jack Bunce he whispered I'd better it was I had done the deed he should take it back I said I wood. But find out soon, and then wo to the gust as I slid down the banisturs to gilty I thought what mamma do it, the professor come in the hall told me how rong it was to tell a lie Of course I could not I choked down my sobs. very quick. " Professor Pitkins, the other felstop the soles of my shoes took him right in the mouth, witch made it loes are uot to blame it was the cat. bleed a little, an his teeth came I saw her playing with it when I out. came clown to tell Bridget if she had It was too bad. I did not kno his not put the cookies away, she'd better teeth came out, besides, I could not do it 'fore the other boys took 'em." help it. Professor Pitkins put on his speckWhile he was wiping away the tickles and looked at me a good while, blood I slipped into the room an put offul sharp, like I was one of those his scalp into the stove quick and wrigglers you put in a mycroscope. shut it up, for he was in such a I felt like I was srinkingup to nothing. temper I durst not own up I'd took It became necessary to turn the subit of with a gnife. jec', an' I asked him The top of his head looked like "Were you born balled, professor? the ostrich egg my cousin brought so Did your nurse forget to bring you he asked me whare was his wig. Why didn't she give you I any teeth ? asked him did he think it was the a pare of eyes war'nted to last,, so you cat ? He shook me so friteful hard wouldn't have to put on glasses to that I couldn't help crying so I sade see a little boy of my size ? I'm perhaps the Utes had made a rade an offul sorry you've cot cold, but don't you think you're about old enough to scalped him while he dremed. die without making a fuss about it ?" how stern he appered He got as red as a lobster, and He sent for every boy in scool. Not one could tell him what had fround terribly I gess he was going happund to his hed. I suggested to say something severe, for he gofperhaps the rats had carried it into a so far as hole. He got rathier and rathier, "You are the most impertnant and then he began to sneeze. I felt little ker-cheu I ever ker-cheu." that sorry when I herd him sneeze I An' then he just made a brake an' wished I hadn't burned the old thing; got out the room, 'cause the felloes I had no idea a grone-up man cought were giggling into their pocket hanso I asked him hadn't kerchefs cold so ezy he's gone round to-day
;
;

He

Becomes a Kleptomaniac.

57

with his head tide up he don't look like a professur. They say he tolegrafed for a wig, witch is to come up by express to-nite. The boys have a hollyday, so they think it is oil rite, but I'm a prisoner in my room on bread an' molasses, witch is disgusting.

a pear of get bracelets, of queer fish a lace cover ofen the pin-quishion, some fereful funny curls, seven hairseveral collars an' cuffs, three mats, abottle of colone witch happened to have a blue ribbon around it that
pins,

the pin hooked into ezy, an' a box of powder, only the box came open an I don't knohow I could have passed the powder fine over everything, so this tejus day only I found a stove- I've shut up the stove-pipe hole now, pipe hole in the floor stopped up so I won't get scolded for spilling it. with a round peace of tin, witch I Dere diry, I must rite to mama took out. When I looked down it now how much I've lurned in my was rite over Mrs. Pitkins' buro, geografy an' other things, she wouldn't where there was lots and lots of believe only I'm that perfekly homethiugs lying around, so I bent a pin sick she'd better send me a frute-cake and tide it to a long string in my soon. I'm that improved in spelling pockket, and I've played I was fishing and good conduk she might add a
to wile

away the

ours. I've cot a lot gelly-cake.

CHAPTER XV
HE BECOMES A KLEPTOMANIAC.
od how much a boy lurns when goes to bording-scool. Arthur Brown has shown me how to throw a paper wad so's nobudy won't kno it wus you who thrown it. Willie Wilson has shone me how to get up
It's
It's much easier on the slate, coz you can make a picture of the Professor when you are not ading up your sums and you can draw Mrs. Pitkins very stout, only you muss rubber out quick before she sees you at it, for it makes herfereful mad to be drawn brodder than she is long. She cot me at it yisterday. I had to stand in the middle of the room and ware a dunce cap made out of fool's
;

he

fun; also

bed and have lots of your answers down on a slip of paper in your book, so you don't have to study so hard. Mental rithmetic is offul hard you have to do it all in your head it paper. I didn't care, but Betty will gives you headake when you want to be huffy when I rite to her how T am treated. I told her I would rather go skating.
after
to

you go

how

to rite

58
wear
it

A
than a wig
to

Bad Boys

Diary.

she

as fire

They seem
against

is not happy here, for she was in teres when I went in her have a prejudis room; but perhaps she had been

got as red think she

here because that axdent eting peppermint-drops, witch somehapened to his wig, witeh was the times makes the eyes water. Mrs. Pitkins is that afrade of burmenes of his getting a better one. They are reddy to pounce down on glers, the boys say there is hardly a little Georgie every time a thing goes nite she don't waken the professur, hollerin out for him to get up, there wrong. It was not me who spilt the ink are burglers in the house. I don't from one end of the room to the kno why, unless they want to steal it is ungust to lay the blame the boys. It is a pity he should get other on me, when all I did was to tie the up so often without finding one, so inkstand to the cat's tail it was the last nite there really was one under their bed. He waited until they were cat that spilt the ink. The Professur says if anything sound aslepe. Mrs. Pitkins snores in more of the kind okkurs, I will be her sleep, like you pore water out of Bunce a gug. All at once she waked up an' suspended. I asked Jack what suspended was he told me to whispered " Pitkins Pitkins there's a burlook in the big dickshunary I sit on when I eat it says " to be attached glar under the bed !" to hang." O, He sade to something above " Nonsense, go to slepe." 1 what a fate for a small boy " There is" says she " I fele him thought wicked murdrers were the

me

only people who were hung. under the springs a moving round. Miss Haven says I will not be Pitkins, get up! fire murder thieves'. hung, I will only be sent home, the O, Pitkins, strike a lite!" very thing I want; but she says my He told her she was a fool. Just mamma an' sisters would feel bad then the burgler's back hit the just think of springs under him. He bounced out it would be a disgrace it to see their own little brother, on the flore like he was a rubberBut ball. She folloed, gasping for breath, how would that be a disgrace I have promised Miss Haven I will but she was so unfortunit as to roll out, and so fritened she could not be careful not to do so any more. She has a bow. I saw his fotograf. get up off the flore, so she hollered I told her about Lil and Montagu, the burgler was a murdring her, he and asked her when would she get had her by the throte. At that married ? She answered, when her Pitkins rushed out into the hall and so I spose he is a called Jack Bunce, with several other ship came in sailor. I told her I was sory, for large boys. They made a lite. You if she had waited till I grew up, I never saw how she looks with her would have married her myself. She hair in papers, in a flannel nite-gown, I it would make you laff. is much nicer than Mrs. Pitkins. Jack Bunce
! !

He

Becomes a Kleptomaniac.

59

looked under the bed. Thare was no one thare, because I had darted out in the darkness, and was sound aslepe in bed before Jack came back. All was quiet along the Potomac. For once little Georgie was not mixed up in the scrape. Mrs. Pitkins has sent her brest-pin and his bosom-studs to be kep in a safe in the village. I hope nothing will hapen to them. It would be a sad loss. Alas to think that little Georgie, his mother's pet, should ever be such a long, quere thing as a kleptomaniact. That is the latest thing
!

he went to take his bath, witch nobody could account for disappearing, lest the rats carried it of, witch was a very serius loss. It cost 20 dollars, besides being so unbecoming to go So they balled in colled weather. said I must be a kleptomaniact. But I'd like to kno what little boy
with a pin an' a string could stand
at a stove-pipe hole without going a

fishing

when

the coste

was
;

clear

was going

to put the

things back

out.

am

one.
all

go round paper on
writ

my

Yesterday I had to day with a piece of forrid, on which was

" KLEPTOMANIACT."

That menes you

things.

can't help taking

The way
:

came

to

was

this

I told the, dere diry,

be one bout

but they I got a good chance say kleptomaniactsoffen return things, witch makes it planer I must be one. So now the hole is plastered up, and things is stupid genraly. Every Fridy the profesur puts on a clene colar, an peple comes from the villedge in the afternoon to the xercises. Some boys read composishuns, some recite peaces they have comited to memry, others have
dialogs.

when

Miss Haven she brushes my hair that day, an' gives me a kiss, and Well, they xamined my trunk, as tells me I look rele nice in my best well as the other boys, to find out suit. " Now be a good boy, Georgie, so whether it was rats or spirits, or
the stove-pipe hole over Mrs. Pitkins'
buro.

what it was. You never saw such I will be proud of you." a mess as they found in my poor I like her as well as I do my sislittle trunk. Mrs. Pitkins' hand- ters, xcept Lil. I hope her ship will glass, lace colars, bloom of youth, come in soon. I am going to visit 2 pinquishions, 6 hankerchefs, i bns- her when it does. I wonder will she sel, i feather-duster, i reticule, with live on the ship. I had I hope so. a pocket-book in it, 50 cents in the to speke a peace to-day. I went up pocket-book, a pakkage tide up witch on a platform and made a bow, and she had been out shoping, 1 pare new spoke it very loud. Mrs. Pitkins gaiters last, but not leste, Profesur rote it for me. The subjec was Pitkins' silver wotch an' his new wig " School." She rote " How happy are our school daysl witch he had to telegraf for when I burnt his other one, witch he was so The happiest of our lives " Little boys whose parents can aareless as to leve on the buro when
; 1

60
nford

Bad Boys
your

Diary.

them the ndrantidges cf a

good scool should be very grateful to Provdunce. The poor children of the stretes long for such opportunities without avale. It is our duty to make the most of them while our minds are yung and plastic. "Our nashun owes its grandyur to its facilitis of its educashun, among witch the bording-scool for boys, preparing for their collig, stands preemnunt." That's what Mrs. Pitkins rote. I have it here to coppy in my diry. I cannot tell a lie. So I rote it over the way I wanted it myself, an' read an' read it very loud an' fast. She

nede not trubble to put on Master Ilackett ; you will spend the remainder of the day in the scool-room, doing sums. What for did you olter what I rote, you wicked child You must be nacherly depraved. If your father paid for 2 boys, it would be no rekumpense for the wurry of having such a bad boy, corrupting the other pupils."
skates,
!

"You

She led
shut

me

to

the

school-room,
It
all

me

in,

was

cruel.

and locked the door. I had looked forwurd

the week to Fridy. I could hear the other felloes shouting an' having lots of fun. The fire was out. I was that homesick it seemed to me Id fly did not kno I had oltered it Evry sum I into 10 thousan peaces. " Scool. Scool is horrid. Little tride to do, the tears fell on the slate, boys whose fokes send them to scool that I didn't have to dip my sponge are to be pitted. The poor children in water. My fingers were that of the streets have a gollier time. numb I opened the stove door to see They play from morning till nite if the fire was burning yet; thare hop-scotch an' marbles. I long to was just one cole. I tore up a copybe a strete boy. book, and put the ruler on top of " Bording-scools is the worst kind. that it blazed butiful so I put on
;

You

can't
;

have butter or pursurves a

lot of rithmeticks,

till

I got quite

but once thare is more otcmele than anything else. You have to stand on your head in the corner at the leste thing rong. If I was grone up, an' kept one, I would not be so cross as Mrs. Pitkins. This is all I know about scools." I guess the peple thought it good
for

warm.

But when

went

to fix the

stove-pipe, the old rikty thing

tum-

bled down. I could not put it up I agane the smoke was fearful. then cride and cride, it smarted so
; ;

a boy of my size. They all the professur and Mrs. smiled; Pitkins smiled 2, as if it hurt them. When they had gone away an' I was strapping on my skates, to have sume fun the rest of the afternoon, Mrs,
Pitkins

began to choke. I pounded on the door, and hollerd to Mrs. Pitkins to let me out. But she had gone to town with the key in her pocket. Miss Haven she told me to open the window an'lene my head out till she could get a man to open the dore. But the ice had stuck the windows Miss tite; they would not budge.
I

come

to

me

very sweet, an' Haven she was offul scart outside,

Sh.p called to

says

me

lie

is

Stispended.
fell

61
in an'

" Cr;il:e the glass, Georgi", fore

Eufocate."

you would have

self."

drownded

him-

I britened up when I heard her Nobuddy seems to want me. My say that. In ten minutes there was fokes sent me here coz they did not not i hole pain of glass in those five want me and now Mrs. Pitkins
;

windows.
in the door.

man came and bursted wishes I was dead. I've made up The professur was pale my mind what I'm going to do. I
:

saw something in a paper once when he vued the ruin. for did you brake the hull " Wanted, to adopt, a healthy male lot for, you little fool?" he asked me. child." I'm going to send a letter " It will take a week to get this room to the paper for somebuddy to adopt in order. I shall send the bill to me. I will say I am healthy. They your father, sir." will not dreme how bad I am. They
with rath
"

What

" Adonijab," said Mrs. Pitkins, will take me for a good little boy; solemnly, " don't you think we had such a sell on them I'll rite it tobetter send the boy along with the night. Jack Bunce will get it put in " bill ? healthy male shall be ruined if we kepe the paper for me. him to the end of the term. He's child wants to be adopted a good wors'n the plages of Egip. I wish home more than wages," I had let him go skating maybe he
!

We

',

CHAPTER XVL
HE
IS

SUSPENDED.

There was quite a sceen last nite wichet felloe," and he patted ma on when I got home. I was put in the the back.
care

of the

conductor

the

pro-

" I did a hole lot of dredful things,

words were, " Conductor, sir," I ansered him. "I was a grate kepe a sharp eye on that yungster xpense to the profesur in wigs, but lie's a dredi'ul hard case. I had to it was always a acksident 1 never xpell him from my Academy;" so did things a purpus, never it was when he come to punch my ticket he gust my luck I am very unlucky, sorter laffed. sir," I added, with a depe dene si. " it " What did you do to get xpellcd, was the last acksident I did th a little chap ?" he asked me. " You broke the camel's back that's Mrs look as incent as a lamb," he added. Pitkins." " Well," said he, " when I've been I should not gess you were such a
fesur's last

'

62

Bad Boys

Diary.

through the trar.e I'll come back an new one and the frite brot on histericks offul, which she says she you can tell me how it was." So he came back an sat down in sees planely why my mother sent me off to school, but she wouldn't kepe tother half the sete. " Should you think, sir," said I, me knot for 10,000 dollars in gold. " they would xpell a little boy I was sorry about her dress, so I reel, nice, good little boy gust for gave her my five dollar gold-peace to hooking a small peace of raw pi-crust by her another. She refused it. She " said the dress would be put down in out of the cook's pantry ? " Well, no," said he, kind of thot- the bill. O dere, dere what will ful. papa say when he sees the bill ? I've " They did," said I. Oil I did in had so many acksidents I'm olways the world was to take a peace bout in hot woter " Mr. Condukter, don't you nede a as big as my 2 fists it wouldn't make more'n 1 dride appul pi Mrs. boy about my size to sell papers on

Pitkins thinks is helthy for children. I carrid it up to my room, cos the profesur was going to leckture on phisolgy down in the villidge that evening for the caws of the hethen, Mrs. Pitkins would be alone, so I woched my opportunty when she was in the kichen telling cook not to waste eg in the codfish for brekfast, I put the pi-crust all over my face like I was a pi, and jabbed a hole,
like cook does, where my mouth was then I slipped into Mrs. Pitkins' room an got up on a chare in the corner with a shete rapped around me, coming down to the flore; it was dark in there, so she came in with a lamp in her hand, witch shone direekly on the gost she gave a shreek an rim. All would have gone well an no harm done, only the silly woman let go the lamp, which made a grease-spot on the carpet and set She would have her dress on fire. been burnd, only Jack Bunce put his overcote around her in the hall, so she gust gat a blister on her hand, but her dress was spoilt it was a

the

trane,

or

prize candy?

I'd like to

ham-sandwiches, or be abul to

sport myself, I've cost so

much

for

damages."

He sade that job was sold to a bigger boy. "An now, my little chap," says he, " you remane quietly in your sete. Here's a ilstrated paper to look
at.

By and by
I

I will

see

how you
So,

are getting along agane."

thanked him very

polite.

gust as he went in the next car, the boy came along with prize candy. I bought 4 pakkages, and give him a dollar. I had been thinking I would try the bizness. As soon as he was

out of site I gumped and went down the isle calling out "prize candy," like he did. Fokes smiled, but nobody buyed ; so I opened the door an stepped out on the platform to try the next car. It was offul windy, an I guess the cars joggled too mutch, for the next thing I knew I was skrambling out of a snow-bank. My ears were full of snow, so was my mouth you

He
!

is

Suspended.

63

never see There was the trane xpelled for, coz he mite bleve I did it most out of sight, cutting along like on purpose. No boy but a very, very a thousand of brick, an I oil alone bad boy would purposely send a out in a field. impurtnent Valentine to a lady like Miss Haven she cride when I went Mrs. Pitkins. The one I rote to Miss away from scool, an give me a peace Haven had 2 duvs on it. an said: " I shall try to improve and beit was in of cake to eat on the way my pokkit, so I ate it then. It tasted come oil that you wish, from your offul good. So I had one pakkage loving little friend, Georgie." prize candy left I was still holding Mrs. Pitkins got one, which said onto ; I thought I would eat that, " The rose is red, then if I had to starve to deth, it The violets blue, Pickles are sour, would not be so hard, when I was cir;
."

about was this Some boy had put a peace of mete on a large fishhook, and fed her maltease cat, witch she wouldn't a cared so much trane stooped. The condukter was pale as a gost, about, only he had gone fishing in but when he saw me eting prize her glass globe, and cot all her goldcandy he flue into a fereful pashun. fish, witch she could have stood " Get aboard !" said he. " I've if he hadn't gone skating Sunday lost 10 minnits Get a bord, you afternoon, an' skated into an airlittle imp What for did you play hole, so that he was brethless when they got him out, and made such us such a trick ?" " I'm offul sorry, sir,'.' said I " I a mess with his wet close, she said wont do it agane if I can help it. I her nerves were getting in a sad didn't mene to She was worn out. She it was not me, it was condishun.
: ! ! ;

prised to see the trane a coming along backwards like a crab. It made me laff an there was the condukter, an oil the brakesmen, an the engineer. an fireman, oil leaning over looking for the peaces, and the windoes open, with the passengers' heds stuck out. But 200 peple got out when the
;

And
the
riting

so are you."
it,

Maybe Jack sent

but she said

;

She didn't care about the valentine that was nothing. What she made a fuss
was mine.

joggled so." He husseled me on bord, where I had a sereus time with the ladies a crying over me and a feleing of my lims to see if I was broke. I had to give up all thoughts of the prize bizness for the present, but I am resolved to do somethin to sport myself if I mete with any more acksidents. You see, dere diry, I didn't dare tell the conduktor what I reely was
it

the car

'

couldn't stand it speshally the very next day he blakked his face and hands with ink, got the kitchen broom, an tride to go up the sitting-room chimbly, an fell down an bumped his head a bump as big as a goose eg, witch she would have forgot and forgivn if he hadn't pinned a peace of paper on her back, on " This is the witch was wrote camel's back the last Straw broke."
really

when

64

A Bad Boys
let
it's

Diary.
me
play ball in the parlour when

IJut that was only fun, and she wouldn'thaveminded it if she had not noticed that he had cut all the queer birds out of the dicshunnary, and made a long row of them on the wall behind his bed, so he would have something to amuse him when he waked up urly, witch made him brake the profesur's gold-bowed specktikels, putting them on the owl in the library, so they tumbled off;

raining, or
to.

amuse myself
chare,

like I

They would me down in a wax

ought
couldn't get up.

like to stick

so

Say, Mr. Conduckter, did your girl give you the mitten, the reason you're an old bachelor ?"

He side an looked sad. Pretty soon he britened up and asked me would my sisters be down to the besides getting a friteful habit of deppo to mete me. I didn't kno, so colling zactly like the profesur I didn't anser him. " I would like a glimpse of them," only when he was sent to her room " You are most there, little to study his geografy better, he got he said. her nite-cap and nite-gown, an put chap." them on Towser, making him howl Something got into my throte like so he run away and draged them all it was a bone. I looked egerly out, around the villedge. when I saw the sign over Peter's So, when the conduckter came grosery, an' the switchman with the round agane, he had got over being wooden leg, an' the deppo, I would mad about the trane losing time. have cride if I had not winked, the But teres back hard. Mr. Conduckter Didn't the old thing fly My I thot best not to menshun the above, stood by the steps to see me safe off, and there was Sue looking offa so he said " Little chap, it's mity lucky you sweet in a stunning hat and selefell in a snow-bank. You couldn't do skin cloke, an' Bess gust perfectly that twice. I gess you were born to lovly, ready to hug an' kiss me, crying out e hanged." " O, Georgie, you notty, bad, dere, So I told him about the time I ran away in the frate car, an the brake- deliteful boy, let me get at you !"
!
!
1

man was

so kind. " If they are cross at

home
to

cos I've

So I said "Mr. Conduckter, these are my

; ;

come back, I'm going Lnow, Mr. Conduckter,"

sisters, but they are both engaged. " I I'm sorry for you good-by call an' see us. will live with you." I'm much obliged. Ain't " You will have a tite time," said my sisters jolly?" an' he touched his " I'm an old bachelor." cap an' laffed, an' the engineer, an' he " So much the better," said I brakesman, an' everybody they cride " your wife won't be around to " Hurrah good-bye, little Georgie bother us. My sisters are real nice, witch was very polite of 'm all. Betty was down to the deppo, to, bright, stylish girls, but they don't make allowance for boys. They w; a't luffing- an' crying like a goos

let
I.

you

said

!."

He
"
ter
;

is

Suspended.

65

We've missed you dredfal, MasGeorgie it's bin fereful quite with no Bad Boy to kepe us bissy." " Indede it has," added Sue " e've killed the fatted oaf for our returned prodigy it's all cooked an' on the tabel waiting" but it was not veal, after all, but roste turky with curent gelly, fride oysters, cold ham, floting iland, cake, presurves sue a sprede. I et as if I had had nohing but dry apple pi since I left home only papa looked sollumly

"Catch it, Georgie," but I waited to think twice which was death on the
doo;'s tail.

docktor says when I grow up study medicine in his offis. His wallet what he kepes his medicine in was in his overcote pokkit
I

The

shall

in the hall, an' I thot it was a good chance to begin to be a doctor, so I took some white powder out of a
little vial

an' give a tiny bit to

my

Johnny came
O,

squirl.

buried him this afternoon

over the profesur's bill, an' mamma turned very pale when I was telling the doctor how I got I lowed offen the trane. Doctor Moore was very glad to see me, to so was my squirl, he takes tea to our house offen, 'cause he an' Sue are going to get married in the spring. After supper papa said " Georgie, I want you to turn over a new leef; you're getting older every day ; try not to make so manymistakes think twice, before you act once" so the door was going to shut on the dog's tail, an' he said,
;

to the funeral. note and pleasant my own room looks How sweet my dremes last night Betty is fatter than ever My she is a most obliging girl. hart is full. I mene to try never, never to do rong agane so long as I live and brethe, so good-nite, my

how

cliry.

Johnny an' I took Sue's N.B. work-box, the dector give her Christmas, to bury my squirl in. I xpect Sue will iiOt like it, but poor Bunijy had to have a eoughin. It made a
lovly coughin.

66

Bad Boys

Diary.

CHAPTER
" GOODNESS me!
it

XVTT.
was the cmt."

Dr. Moore and Sue have broke oph their engagement. It is a offul loss to Sue ; coz she had her trooso all reddy. I'm afrade it will go out of stile before she gets another chance as good as the doctor, which is a first-rate feller, I think, and the stiles

Alas,

how
by

sad
day,
is

it is

to carry

nmn.l,

day

guilty

conidiu;;*

Alas, I

am

the cause

why

that en-

being so vaseline. The wedding cake is loss so long as Johnny and I know the closet where it is kep it is elegant cake, very useful when a boy is going skating or expecs not to get home in time for supper. Last week there was a paragraf in the paper agane it made Sue cry till her eyes were as red as Johnny's were when I put red pepper in his mother's stove. black I suppose pepper would not make his eyes red. The paragraf ran thusly " Grate excitement prevales in fashnubble cirkles on ackount of a
;
;

broke off. All would be peaceful an sorene had Sue no bad boy for a brother. And yet I think that man they call Edison is more to blame than innocent little What for did he go an not a dead Georgie.
take so
all

gagement

much
?

electrick light

trubble to invent the You see they were

talking about it, an how much money Mr. Edison would make, an

fine thing it was, and tire doctor he said he had a battery in his back offis, which I knew was grate fun, coz he let me take hold one of the handles oncst so in the morning I told Johnny, an he an me watched till the doctor went oph in his buggy, an then we climbed into the window of his back offis,

what a

and
an

I
I

pored some
like I

stuff into

it

out
do,
to

rumor
high

that
is

certin

rnarridare in of a bottle

had seen him

not to come oph after all. To our positive nollege the wedding cards have been engraved an were almost out but the parties do not speke to each other now. The cause of this sudden change in the program is not made public but it is whispered that it is not the gentleman's fault." Poor Sue, I pity thee How glad I am she does not gess it was her Uttle brother put it in the paper.
life
; !

give

Johnny the handles

he just hopped rite oph the floor, an then he fell down and stretched out. I hollered to him to let go the handles, but he didn't say a single word, like he was dead, so I got the handles away from him an told him to sit up, which he didn't pay any attention, an I was fritened, coz I am very fond of Johnny, so I went an got some men, who had to climb in
hold,

an

"Goodness me!
They threw cold on him, and said I was a naughty boy they guessed I'd killed him, sr> they carried him home, an Johnny's mother she wont speke to me now. I think she ought to be thankful her child came 2, which he did after a long, long time. So Doctor Moore he scolded me perfeckthe window, too.

it

was
it
;

the Cat!

67

water

no wonder she mewed and was crazy, so when the doctor went in she flew rite at his face, but he put his arm up luckily
in
spit like she

and when he knocked

last,

him his eves -so she only scratched his nose and forrid that made him look ridickelous next day
that saved

her oph at
since.

she

made a

beeline for the door,

ly offul. practice

that were afrade to take his medsin for I had had a finger in that I was a nice
folks
fear
it

He

said I

was ruining

his

and nobody has seen her

The

little

boy

as

he ever seen when

behaved

myself, but I musn't touch his things.

I told

him
it

was

offul sorry

would
to

never do

agane.

ment

keep

horrid oil of vitrol, it et a large hole in the carpet, which would not have been quite so bad, only it hit the lounge before it rolled off: on the floor, and scattered lots of the horrid stuff all over his new suit, which came home that day, which he was
to

I don't think the affare would a a hole in the floor. I thought I been quite so serious, bad as it was, would do him a favor, seeing I only when he came to our house the had been such a nusance: so that next morning to relate the axdent, night, about dark, as he was going Sue she burst out laughing when she home to tea, I put our cat in the offis saw his face all courtplaster, his nose to catch the mouse quick, so the twice its naturel size, an she laughed doctor wouldn't see her. He came and laughed, like she could not stop, +.o visit Sue after supper, and I should so he said " It may be fun for you, Miss in*er he stade rather late. When he got back to his offis, where he sleeps Hackett, but its deth to me. I've in the back room, he herd the fere- had enuff of that little brother of fullest catterwauling like a thousand yours, and of you, too, if this is all cats was having a serious time which the thanks I get for what I've had to made him unlock the door an go in put up with. I don't be! eve I can an strike a light as soon as possible. stand marrying into the family of a Poor Pussy So, good-bye, forthe mouse have got boy like George. on the shelf, and she gumped ever, Miss Susan," an he slammed after it, for all the bottles was the door real hard, and walked away
!

prommis fatheful, so the next time I was in there long with him I seen a mouse running in and out

my

be married

in.

It

was utterly

spoiled.

knocked off an broken all to smash as stiff as if he was froze. So then Sue she began to laugh out you never see such work, the nasty medsin on his nice, new carpet, but of the other side of her mouth, but it A bottle of was all up he hasn't been near her kitty fared the worst. witrol got broke, and she put" her foot sence, an that's two weeks ago so I
;

c z

63

Bad Boys

Diary.

When I was eting my supper sent an account, on the sly, to the alone, except Betty who brought ma paper, which is certain to be put in. The hull family is down on me a peice of pie, which she didn't want about the cat, which I did from the for dinner, I made up my mind 1 Who could have was too retched to eat anything but best of motives.
fourseen that Sue would dye an ole made gust because I put a cat in her It is felloe's offis to catch a mouse ? my luck. I am a most unlucky boy. Sue, she won't eat enough to kepe a bird alive, an' Bess boxes my ears every time she gets close enuff, as if boxing a little boy's ears was going
to

stairs
tion,

the pie an some cake, with Sue Xip counting suicide by slo starva-

an

if I

could

make amends
:

for

the mischuff I had done I would do it. 1 said to Betty " Tell the folks not to worry bout

me

make the doctor come back enny

Sue says she could forgive

sooner.

him every thing except his putting that

paragraf in the papers " it was not the gentleman's fault." Well, was it? So I said so but I hope an' pray I've she won't discover who did it. done enough mischief without being found out; that would cap the climax. Yesterday Sue had another crying the girls were in their room, spell where I was hid in their closet their rubber o' cutting up one shoes in strips to make a ball, an said she. I heard Bess a telling her doctor Said I " Miss Agnes, did you ever hear Moore was said to be going evry Juge Pinafore ?" nite to see Agness Jewell. " Lots of times," said she. Jewell is a big bug, an Agnes is said to be the mos stilish girl in town now. Said I " Do you remember that exciting Our Lil is married and gone away
;
: ;

going to call on a frond be back in half an hour." With that I slid out of the back door. Bout io minute3 'later I was ringing at Juge Jewell's door. " Is Miss Agnes in ?" I asked her. She said she was ; I said I wished She said to see her a moment. " Step right into the parlor." I took oph my cap, and stepped. Miss Agnes was at the piano, dressed to kill, her hair banged, her cheeks red. She began to laugh when she seen me. " How do you do, Master George?"
I'll

I'm

so Sue she was that geilus she cried part of it where it says herself into fits, and would not go " Goodness me that was the cat ?' down to supper, which made it ofFul inconvenyant for me to get out of That's gust the way it wa3 at the An I thought I should doctor's office it was the cat. that there closet.
:
' !

starve to death, but when it got very now, Miss Agnes, do you think it is dark I slipped out as stiff as a mouse onest and right for him to brake my so when she didn't find her rubber, sister's heart because the cat nocked Bess always said a rat must have oph a few of his nasty inedsin
;

carried

it

oph

to sleep in.

bottles

want you

to teli

him from

"
little

Goodness me!

it

was

the Cat."

69

.to-night, that

when he comes here crying her eyes out up thare in the Sue don't come to her dark. The folks are in the sittingmeals half the time, she has lost her room." Then I ran up stairs, bounced in appetite, her dresses are getting too big for her the reason she laughed her room, and hollered, out " "Where are you, Sis ? when she saw his nose, was because You are she had the histeriks, she was so wanted down stairs. There's a show alarmed, and folks who have the in the front parlor, the grate What histeriks have to laugh no matter is it ?' has got away from Barnum's." She grabbed my arm so tight it is how much they don't want to. It is a shame the way he treated her, black and blue. " What do you mean, Georgie ?' an little Georgie is going to. sue him for breach of prommis, gust as true says she, catching her breth. as I live, an breathe, an draw the "I mean t'other girl's cake is breath of life an' when I grow up dough." I am going to fight a duel, he can't With that she flew down stairs
Georgie
;

'

escape."

would like, cause I stopped to wind the clock in the hall, which broke cause it was winded the day before, and now it'll have to be doctor himself Did you ever mended, I spose but when I did " No, Georgie," says he, " we get down there was a tablo in that won't fight any duels, we will make parlor let the curtain fall. Little up an be friends once more. I feel Georgie is in high favor gust at gust as bad as your sister does. They didn't even grumble I present. gess the best thing I can do is to go when they found what a offal hole home with you an' tell her so, if some mouse had made in the wedas I
! !

Gust then somebody behind me put their hand over my mouth, an then they lifted me oph my feet an put me on their shoulder, an I looked down, and there it was the

wind. I follered as fast as I could, but I didn't get there as soon

like the

Miss Jewell will excuse me."

e went.

So,

ding-cake. "

We

can

make

another,"

When we
"
tip

got there, I said

I'll

Go

in the parlor, doctor,

Sue said, quite careless like. The ceremony is to come oph as soon as go the plaster does from the doctor's nose.
is

stairs

an

call

her down

she

7o

Bad

Boy's Diary.

CHAPTER

XVIII.

HE MAKES AND FLIES A KITE.

is going to give a party; quite a big girl the party will She says be her tenth birthday. they are going to have a splendid time, somebody to play the piano to dance by, a real supper on a long table, not passed around ; but she don't know as she can invite me, because I am rather young and very bad her mother said she had better leve me out. I told her she was mistaken, I was getting to be a model boy, she mite ask my mother was I not offul good these days it was mean to leve me out if she did

Rosa Peince
is

she

against the rules behind the lid ol your desk, an setting his teeth on edge with your slate-pencil, which
will scratch.
for study
;

have very

little

timo

sent to

better than being boarding-school. Bess says

it is

but

I would leve her out when I gave my phansey party, which mama says I

may
is

sometime,

if

continue good.
I

So she asked me, and

am going.

It

to-morro night. I am going to our village school

;

I hope to improve in my spelling and writing very fast, the teacher says I am brite enuff to run for President, if I would only pay attenshun; but there are a hundred things in

now

school to distract a boy's attenshun, more than one would think who had never been there. There are no flies in winter, but there are spitballa

enuff to make up, and looking around on the sly, to see what boy is making signs to you, takes up a great deal of time, as also drawing the teacher on your slate, with a cold in his head, which you rub out after you have held it up; also eating a napple

is like a paradise when I'm in school I asked her were there angels in paradise, cos I did not see none there. I'm tezing her to make me a kite ; she says she has no time until the wedding is over all the boys have them ; it is corning kiteseason it is stupid to loaf around and see the other boys fly theirs. I gess I'll go to the shop and buy two sticks, and make a kite myself; lean make it up in my room Betty will clear up the muss ; I'll get papa's bottle of mucilage, mamma's scissors, a few newspapers, and the stringbag I'll get it done before I go to school in the morning. * * * This is the night of Rosa Prince's party; I feel very lonesom, sitting in my room with the door locked on the other side; I spose they are having a jolly time with their fine supper; Iaint had none not a thing to eat since my lunch, which I et at eleven I am very hollow inside like a drum.
; ; ; ;
;

the house

But what do these heartless parents mine care how their child suffers? They are groan up their trials are over nobody shuts them up and locks their door an tells them they
of

He Makes and

Flies a Kite.

7*

can have no supper, when they are were flying their kites, and I flew sick, an misrable, an hungry; no- mine again ; there was a stiff breeze boddy cuffs their ears when they did an they went up butiful, but mine

noboddy makes came down on a horse's head on Mane not kno any better them study spelling and grammar street what was afraid of everything,
;

to go and have some they don't have to sit down in a chare an never open their mouth when company comes, and they are just bursting with all the news they have to tell.

kite, an he ran away like and threw the man out on top of his head against a hiching-post which was too bad for it broke the post like anything I'm afrade they will have to put up a new post. The I made my kite this morning like man is killed, they say, though some I got up very early think he will come to his senses again. I said I would. and crep down in my stockings to get If he does I hope he will kno better

when they want

fun
;

even a
blazes,

than to drive a scary horse it is always dangerous. The man said I must not fly my penter's, for I looked at papa's silk umbrella an made up my mind the kite on Mane street any more so I whalebones in that would answer the went oph down by the depu cause I
the stuff so as not to
folks.
;

wake the

I did not get

any

sticks

at the car-

so I got it down in the hall an took out what bones I wanted, and then I cut up the silk to make the tail I made that first a golly long one. Then I cut out my kite and pasted it ; by the time breakfast was ready it was done, so I hid it under the bed until it was time to go
ticket
;

the engines want afrade of an I let her fly. Good gracious you ought to seen her go. Little Johnny sade it went gust like a bird I let him hold the string awhile we had an offul lot of fun, only when
kites,

knew

she settled down she got cot in the top of a big tree on Jefferson strete, an we could not get her out; we to school. I was axdently very late to school tride and tride, so I had ten cents that morning in fact I did not get the doctor gave me last night, an I there until school left out in the told Johnny if he would go up in the afternoon, an the teacher had gone tree an bring her down I would give home. You see it took so long to fly him the ten cents. I did not like to my kite I had no time to arrive thare go because my ma had told me never I mite fall out. before the string was a mile long, to climb high trees Johnny said he was afrade I said which nacherly took a good while to

let it all

out an take

it all

in again,

which was what made me late. So the teacher he stopped and asked our folks if little Georgie was sick, cause he didn't come to-day, an that gust .et the cat out of the bag. So when I got to school the boys down

"Nonsense, Johnny; I didnotknow you was a cowrd you can buy a lot of taffy with ten cents." Then he went up, but he had only got about half way up when he lost his hold or a limb broke, an he fell
;

so I

had

to leve

my

kite

up

72
there,
first

A
some
leg
falling
is

Bad Boys Diary

which was awful mean, the was too small to be invited to the day I made it. It hurt little party, so he need not make such a
out
;

Johnny
tree
;

of

the fuss cause his leg

is

broke.

lie will

broke he will have gelly, an chicken-broth, an have to lay in bed six weeks. Doctor lots of good things. O, my, how Moore has mended it, and put it into hungry I am I wish I was in his Poor Johnny, place. I wish I was to Rosa Price's sticks* or sumthing. I want to see him dredful, to ask party eting ice-creme. I wish I 'was him how it feels, but his mamma in Robinson Cruso's hut eting fride Betty clams. I wish I had a bread-fruit won't let me go near him says she says when Johnny gets well tree a growing in this room. If I she had a lamp I could read bout such the) are going to move away will not risk his life any longer in the things in my books, but no, even this a wicked, dere diry, I have to scrall by moonsuch naborhood of wicked boy. She is real mean; I lite on the window-sill all consulalove him an I wouldn't hurt him for tion is denide me. I guess I'll go to anything. I did not kno he would bed an try an dreme about the shipfall: if he had held on like I told recked sailors that was took on board, fore he went up perhaps he would an was fed an kindly treated better not broke his leg, an I gave him the than poor Georgie is. * * * * ten cents. I do wish I could see how Mamma let me out of my room funny he looks with it done up in sticks. Betty says mamma feels so after papa went to business, this bad she's gone to bed sick what for morning. She talked to me a long It was not her time with tears in her eyes, how is she going to bed ? Some folks is so sorry she was I was so full of misleg that was broke. foolish you don't kno Avhat to think chief, an poor Johnny's legwas broke, an I cride like everything, an proof em. And Betty says papa is friteful mised I'd try to kepe out of scrapes, rathy about his best umbrella; they and I asked her what did they have found the pieces in my room, so they for breakfast, and did Johnny's leg knew I cut it up when I come home look funny ? So she gave me some he took me by the shoulder and gridle-cakes an maple-syrup, and pushed me up stairs into my room said Johnny's mother would never, an locked the door ; nobuddy, not never let mo speak to Johnny again. even Betty, has brot me some supper; I'd get him into hot water so oftun, I do wish families would not have wich is a ofFul falsehood. Whatever bad boys to make mistakes an then I have clone, I never got Johnny in have to go hungry, after playing hard hot water, did I? I want to see him I all day an getting such a dredful so bad I feel as if I couldn't wait. sinking to their stummick. If I could have never seen a broken leg, and I get a messidge to Mr. Bergh, I'd send have something serious on my mind I want him to give me back my him word how I was treated. Johnny
his
:

He Makes and
ten cents, cause

Flies a Kite.

73

up in funny sticks and bandiged Good-by, dere diry, I am oph I had to take them all oph before I kite. When school is out I'll could see it. Johnny cried and said for school. I mnsn't tutch it, but I told him I try an get my kite. car efid didn't he I could not get it, an so I'm going would be offul to make anuther, like that picture in want to see where it was broke, too ? * It So he let me. the boy's book of the turtle kite. When I come will be first rate. There was not much to see after home this afternoon I was out in the all I had my trubble for my panes gust a swelled place back yard, tying the tails of my two I thought it kittens together an hangin them on would be in 2 pieces.
he did not get

my

" 'Taint even bent," said I, disdry, coz I'd made them get wet falling in the cistern, gusted ; then I moved it up and down when I saw Johnny's mother going to see would it go, but he hollered oph down street with a bottle in her and scremed that fereful I was hand like she was going to get some fritened, an the way I got out at that
the close-line to

happen to be a bad boy now an then, the window upstairs in the hall, and but I am not a barberis boy Joe crep softly to Johnny's room. When Punk is one and papa groned like I got thare he was lying quiet no- he had the toothake an said he bet he budy iii the room. I said would have to move out West on a " How are you, little chap ? How hundred mile farm to kepe me away pale you are. Duz your leg hurt from the nabors. The doctor said very bad ? I wish I could see it Johnny's leg had to be set over agane, I never saw a broken leg -it must witch hurt worse than at first. look queer. Poor, poor little fello Oh, my, what a lot of I'd be a golly Johnny, let me look at your frend to thee if they would let me, i'.-g, that's a good little boy, I won't but they wont his mother's got a hurt it a mite I gust want to see loaded pistol, an she's thretened to

Says I time to see my poor little friend his mother's out know Johnny is asking to see me." I climbed up on their woodshed, over their kitchen roof, an went in
medicine. " Now's

window over them

shun
I don't

roofs

was a cau-

my

telling

kno what Dr. Moore ment papa this evening I was a

cruel, barberis boy. I

may

axidently

shoot me if I go near him. I am of his current gelly, warned to keep out of danger. I am took a drink of his tea, an gust glad my mother is not that sort of a goftly lifted the sheet. I couldn't woman like poor little Johnny's. bej his leg one bit, it -was all done

Low it looks." Then I tasted

74

Bad Boys

Diary.

CHAPTER

XIX.

HE ENJOYS THE FIRST OF APRIL.

I did not sleep at home last night or fun after the ganitor put out the night before, cos I made a unxpected lights and locked the dore. visit to dear Li], so I could net write I've herd my mamma sat up all in thee, my diry. You see, dear diry, night, witch was foolish of her she day before yesterday -was the furst day might have knone I was all right. of April. They call it April Fool Day. wated and wated till we fell
:

We

The boys were

telling for days

wot

aslepe,

and

then
it is

woke
its

up an

We groped our way to the big rope behind the stairs, an gerked an gerked gust as fast as we could, as if the hull town was on fire. Everybody sprung out of bed an says the town is fritefull dull when put on their close in a dredful hurry. little Georgie Hackett ain't in mis- We could hear em run an holler, chief; they wish his sister wood get " Where is it 1 Do you see it 1" married an done with it, and so she O, it was fun In io minits the will next week if nuthing happens streets was like a prosession. So as but to go back to the furst of April. soon as he could get his boots on an They have got a new town-hall come, the ganitor unlocked the door bilt since the other one was burnt by and flue in like mad. It was getting some silly girls screming at a mouse quite light, so he could see us, an he with a very large bell, which rings stoped an opened his mouth like we very fast when there is a fire. Well, were oysters. the nite before I ate a harty supper, I asked him did he kno wot day it an lade in a supply of wedding-cake was, an he got that mad he shook me my plans were lade to get lost under till my head felt like a rattle box a bench while the temprunce leck- but yung Mr. Spriggs, the lawyer, he ture was getting preched by a lo- laffed, an said " Let the boys be. Own up you're looking felloe, who said he knew how it was himself. I hired anuther fooled, old felloe, along with the rest boy with my Jack-knife an some of us. Bully for you, boys you've cake to get lost too we had a lot of got the hull town. I'll trete, for one f

they were going to do, but I kept quiet, like an owl, which papa says keeps up an offal thinking. It has been offal dull since Johnny broke his leg, cos his mother don't allow me to go there she kepes a pistol loaded, so they say an I was aking to have some fun. Everybody

wispered " Willie,

time

most dalite.

Come

on."

He

Enjoys the First of April.

75

So the folks went home, an took more time to make their toylets, speshally Miss Hanks, who unforchunitly forgot her teeth, an Mr. Sponce, who didn't have time to take
his hair
I

borroed a envelope an shete of paper when he was noi looking and pretty soon I went away, cos I was in a

out of curl papers.

so
at

walked home with papa

not scold a bit, said, " Georgie,

getting
ters,"

who did brekfast Sue

up

so urly, here's

you must be hungry some frit-

it was too late to go to mite as well make a day of it. I took my gold dollar an stuck it to the pavement with shoemaker's wax like I'd seen men do with pennies lots of folks burnt their fingers, but a big boy came will pick it up so when I went up along an he took his gnife an ripped to brush my hair for school, I sliped it up an put his finger to his nose an in mamma's room an took her wallet carrid it away disgusting. I call out of the buro di'awer. There was that no better than steling. Then I only one bill in it so I stuffed it out stroled on past the mildam an put nice an round with brown paper, an my hed in Mrs. McKearny's cottidge, started urly, so as to have some sport and asked her did she know little before school began. I put it down Benny had fell in the pond, which on the pavement an hid behind a made her schreech like she was crazy dry-goods box for I saw a horrid ole and fall down on the flore such a tramp coming, of course he lited on simpleton as if she could not rethe wallet and crammed it in his member it was April Fool. pokket an walked away, that fast he I was friteful hungry by that didn't limp like he was lame any time on akount of the cotton batting " Oho, ole scamp," says I, fritters, an I sat down on a log to ete more. "wont you be mad when you open my lunch wot Betty had put up for it !" So I stroled along easy to the skool. There was a nice mince turntelegraf offis which I knew the ope- over of witch I am partikurarly fond. rator there, he is a frend of mine I took a large mouthful. It was comcos he's ded in love with Bess an I posed of sawdust and black pepper

an Betty put a hull dish full I'm very fond of of me. nice hot fritters for brekfast so I " Wot nasty tuff ole piched in. fritters," said I after a while an the they family laffed like enny thing were cotting batting fritters diped in egg an fride, and they would not give me a single thing to ete but them. I had red in the papers about the pokket book trick. I thought it would be fun to try it drop an ole pokket book an wotch to see who
in frunt

hurry to get Jim Blake, what rites a better hand than I do, to rite it, " Doctor Moore, come kwick. Lily is very sick not expected to live. Montagu," witch I had a boy take to his offis gust in time for him to cotch the next train if he hurrid then I happened down to the station behind a frate-car when he came running to the train. Oh, how I laffed. It was an offul good goke. I knew the telegraph paper would make him think it was in ernest. By

that time

school

76

Bad Boys

Diary.

stuff. I knew who did it, an sure enuff some careless person was Bess, so I thru it away an had left it running. There was bout sawndered on till I came to the six galons of the sticky stuff over florists, who does not no me very everything. I was dredful sorry
it

nasty

well, because he has not lived here very long, an I went in. I had the telegraf oprater's card witch I borrowed when I borrowed the paper, an I said to the florist " Put up your best and bigest bokay bout five dollars worth, an tack this card on, and send it rite away to Miss Bess Hackett, an the

such a waste of syrup " I bet you did it, you

!

little

imp

!"

said Peters.

a grab, I dodged, he the molases, sliped an fell. You never saw such a sight as he was when he got up. I did not remane very long- to hear what

He made
in

steped

he said

my mamma

says to alwas

bill to

the telegraf So he did it.

I

offis."

come away when persons use bad

languige, so I went.

came out Juge Jewell's daughter was going by I ran after

;

When

her an told her " Miss Agnes, hero's yur nice lace hankerchif," but she
it

went strate on, coz she remembered was the i of April, so I put it in my pokket, which she had realy lost it. By this time I was desprit hungry an I went into Peter's grocery to buy a cent's wurth of peanuts,
very
filling at
;

the price I also bot some raisons, cheese, ginger cakes, made when it blew up. I should crackers, an a pound of dates, witch certinly have been killed only I was My was charged to our folks, an I sat in the tunnel. Such a dust on the counter an laffed at Peter's the air was full. You could hardly aokes an had a good time. lie was see the folks when they came runtaking it easy, telling the tricks he ning, witch was lucky for me, for I
! !

After that things was sort of dull kept straing sloly along, looking out for something to amuse me, till I come to the new railroad cut, where the men were blasting rocks ; but they were eting their dinner, cos it was noon, so I thot I would have some fun with a can of powder witch was left there. There was a new bridge you never herd such a racket in all your life as it
for awhile. I

played wen he was a boy. All of was offul fritened after it was done, a sudden he gumped as if he was and I hid all the afternoon till supper
jhot.

time.

It is very rong to tell falsehoods, seldom do it. When I come iu along the flore among the barels an' mamma sprung up and clasped me boxes everywhere. in her arms. " Praps your molases barel has " I was afrade my darling was sprung a leek," says I. blue up," she gasped, "cos you had He gave me a sharp look, but I not been to school, nor could we find went on eating cheese; so he ran, you. Georgie, there has been a

" Wot's that

he cride. dark, thick streme was floing

?"

all

He
terribul

Enjoys the First of April.

n
!

axdent the new bridge blue up this noon hear the xplosion?"

did you

railroad

The

hull family looked blank

mamma

I heard something like I said thunder bout that time. " That was it," she said. " How did it happen?" I inquired.
is a mystery no one knows." "Perhaps," said I, " thetn careless workmen did it with their cans of powder." Papa came in an said he believed the thery was some dinamite had

" It

bursted. " It was a grate pity," he added

dear groned. Sue said, Gust then the bell rang an Betty brought papa a bill from the grosry for half a barel of molases witch Master George Hackett had turned the spigot, also a suit of close, a pound of dates, a ounce of cheese. While papa was reading it the doctor come in he looked very sober like he was tired an cross. " Where have you been all day ?" asked Sue, gumping up an hugging him that tite about the neck I should think he would strangle.
;

"such a costly bridge." So we all went to supper.

"
It's

so strange," said Sue,

" Ask that little angel sitting there !" says he. " the " Georgie," cride Sue, " wot under
the sun an
to

doctor has not been in once to-day. I don't understand it."

moon have you been up

your solium promise to Bess had a bunch of lilys of the behave " Theres only one coarse of tretment valley in her dress, a rose in her hair, she was fixed up, an looked as proud will cure him," said the doctor, offul as a pecock. serious, " with your permission, sir," "Where did you get so much to papa, "I'll try it on him after flowers, Bess ?" I asked her. supper. I will give him a dose of " 0, somebuddy sent them !" she pills, then I will bleed him, after that answers, coloring up red. blister him all along the spine, an " By the way, Georgie darling," put a row of cups on his chest then mamma said, " have you seen my I will chloroform him an cut oph wallet ? I'm very anxious about it, both his legs that will stop his badfor I cannot find it. There was a ness for awhile. Do you consent ?" $100 bill in it, my bridal present to Papa said he did. your sister. I'm afrade some snekeSo I went out in the kitchen very thefe has stolen it." sudden an borroed a dollar from A one $100 hundred dollar bill Betty to pay my fare, an I cut stick I felt kind of fante, an drank a full for the depot where I got to Lil's at She had gust gone goblet of cold water before I rallid io that night. enufF to reply to bed, but she got up an fixed me " Dere mamma, I thot it was a i comfortable on t^e sofa. O how she affed when she told me how the dollar bill I hope that tramp will bring it back when he finds what's doctor looked when he rushed in an in it. I gust did it to April fool him." found her sitting soing by the winafter ?"
;

now

78

A
;

Bad Boys

Diary.

but she scolded too an made Doctor's railrode fare, $2 dollars. promise never to do it again no Mine ditto. matter if it was the i of April. She Railrode bridge, $30,000 dollars. " practikle gokes was very said, Still I don't think a little boys leg foolish, wikked, injurious things;" so ought to be cut oph because lie's fond I thot I had better not menshun the of April Fooling. I got dere Lil to bridge, I am reel sorry about that. rite a note to the doctor begging him I've added up the bill, an I don't to xcuse me once more ; he says he think it pays. will gust this once. N.B. Bess was so mad she would Peter's bill, $25 dollars. not speke to me when I come home Bokay, $5 dollars. why didn't that telegraf felloe pay Mamma's purse, $100 dollars. the bill an kepe dark ?
ine

dow

CHAPTER XX.
THE WAY HE EARNED HIS TONY.
a sole about the house sickles. I have dremed of that pony an Bess xcepting the help, evry nite since the bucher told me for papa and mamma have gone to about him he is a little buty. I spend a week with Lil, and the doc- shall try my level best to be as good Betty says it is all in trying, tor an his bride are at the hotel. as pie. Mamma said she did hope Georgie it is esy to be a good boy a week if would keep out of mischief while you only try, but I don't see how they were away she should fret she knows for she never was a boy, about him all the time, but I ashured but I will try. live pony with a her she nede not wurry 1 would be saddle an bridal thrown in is wurth as good an quiet as the day was long, stop stoning dogs and running away go to scool reglar, come home strait from scool for. Next week how as soon as scool was out, mind my proud I shall be riding down mane sister and behave generly. Papa street to call on my sister Sue at the said if I suckseded he would think hotel. I must keep a fathful rekord about bying me that canadin pony of my good behavior. that the bucher is bound he shall Papa and mamma have been gone I over one night. take for $ forty (40) dollars. I was pretty good would ruther have a pony than 6 by- yesterday. I broke the looking-glass
isn't

There
but

me

The
in

Way

he

Earned

his Pony.

79

that was an Would you beiieve it, when I went an Charlie were play- down bout an hour after to get a ing ball in there with the door shut, drink of water out of the ice picher The ball in the dining-room, I saw that so as not to disturb Bess. bounced offul cause there was so telegraf oprator sitting on the sofa much rubber in it after I had fixed beside of Bess through the key-hole, it hit the an when I hollered " boo" very it up with Bess'- overshoes glass an nocked over a colone bottle sudden, he gumped as if he thought which spilled on the new tidy, so we there wus a trane coming in. Bess came out an played ball in the back got up and opened the door, but I was not there, I was getting a drink yard. Betty will be sprised next time she in the dining-room, so she shut the It begun to sprinkle, door an sat over on the other side of goes in there. so we come in an I told my sister me the room. My parents have been away 2 an him would go to the garret to play. It was luvly up there, only in nights an days. I am still trying to some places there was no floor, an be good. I told the bucher to-day when I stepped on it to see if it to feed my pony up well, so he would would hold me the plaster all come be in good order he said of course. down in the spare bed-room too Would I like to take a little ride to bad plaster makes such a mess on a try him ? I said I would. It made I would not me fereful late to school, but I shall carpet and a silk quilt. have stepped on it if I had kuone it not tell Bes3. I stopped to the telegraf offis, there was a big crow d would not hold. There was a nold trunk full of let- there, coz it was time for the train I ters, so I gave Charlie about ioo did not get oph the pony, I hollered

mamma's room, but

axdent.

Me

to make a kite. took the rest and Lilt a fire in such a funny old stove that was cracked on the bottom so fire fell through, but we put it out I had to run and get my bedroom picher and pore on, but we got it out, so I gess 1 will get my pony. There was not much harm done. We came down to supper in grandpa's does, so Betty had to take them back before dark, witch was lucky, for the fire was not quite out. It was lively for all hands till we gut
to paste together

hullo.

We

" Hullo yourself," said the oprator,

through the little windo. So I ast him what for my sister Bess gumped up oph the sofa an sat on the uther fai'le of the room when I gust said " boo" through the keyhole.

He
crowd
fitz.

got as red as
luffed like

fire,

coz the hull

they would go into

little

played with the bucher's

boy a while when I got back with the pony. \V e played he was a caff, it out. but I gess if his father had not Bess said I must go to bed urly come when he did the caff would like a good boy, so I went at 8. have been strangled to death, he

So

Bad Boys

Diary.

pulled so hard on the rope, but that was not my fault, it was the caff that pulled, oil I did was to hold the rope. The bucher said I had better go

Bess said I school, so I went. must bring no more boys home with me, so I brought little Flora Adams. Jt was windy, an' we went out in the
to

yard to

fly

my new
me
;

kite.

The

doctor

made

it

for

it is

very large, an

has to have a very "strong string, for it pulls like a horse when it gets up high an the wind is strong. I tell

you

it

went up

golly.

was

offul

trade I could not hold it alone, so I got Flora to help. I tied the end of the string round her waste and told her to brace herself agenst the woodshed door. The cat came round the corner, so I fold her to hold on for dear life while I put the over the fence make cat to Johnny's dog growl. Pritty soon, when the cat's tail had got about as big as my arm, an Towser was growling, I herd a friteful screme, an looking round, there was poor Flora going up like a streak, gust as if she were a foul of the air. I tride to grab her shoes, but was not quick enuff. That offul lute had been too I don't beleve she much for her
!

had a provdenshal escape from a horribul death; but gust as she flew over Mr. Shattuck's house the string gave way, and she fell on the roof, witch was a flat one with a railing around, so they rushed up and got her; she wasn't one bit hurt, only scart, but I lost my splendid kite. I think her folks ought to give me another, cos if she had braced herself like I told her, she would not have lost my kite. Betty has discovered the hole in the sealing I told her I thought the rats must have knawed through. It was Flora went home, stupid after with no kite, so I took a walk. It was warm and pleasant, though breezy such wether as makes a boy feel like he'd like to go
says that child
;

bought some fish-hooks and strade along until I came to the mill-dam where I most got drowned last sj)ring. It was supper time, but I knew Betty would save me some, so I took it easy. I dug some angel worms, and caught a good many weeds, and most caught two minnows, only they got
fishing.

an a

line

into Peter's,

away, but about dark

live eel-

caught a

real

a great big fellow, most as big as a alligator so I took it home

for
first.

braced herself.

was very much

breakfast,
I

but I had some fun

it

surprised to see how easy it took her up. Before I could say Jack Uobson, there she was rite over Mr. Shattuck's three-story brick horise. She looked offul funny. I gess folks wondered what made her fly, for you could not see the strino; at all.

took

in the parlor

when

no one was there, and curled it up on the peanno like a big black snake, Betly and then I et my supper. lited the lamps, an my sister come down stairs all fixed up as if she expected compny, an set down to the Ole Miss Pendleton told Bess peanno, and begun to sing afterwards she certainly thought the " For I'm little butter-cup The hull town millenial had come. Dear little butter"
:

The
eovv!

Way
A

he

Earned

his Pony.

81

Ougli! Eeeee! wheel when I was under the wagon locomotive taking out the pin so the wheel would whissel would be ashamed of itself to come off an the flour barels would Of course I rushed burst open and the flour would fly. sqoll like that. Three in to see wot was up. Cook and Betty I tell you it was golly fun. Bess she flu by like barels busted. I got a good eel of they run in to. she wos a cat in a fit rite into the flour on me, playing in it after it middle of the strete. broke, witch is hard on new does. " It is smithing on the peanno, I I did not catch many fish, there gess," I said to the cook, so she went was so much' els to do. I camt, up, kind of slo like, and she took a home bout 4 an went in the back look. door, up to my room, an put on my I was def as a post for over 2 old suit so Bess wouldn't scold. hours the way those two silly creBess is a offul coward. She's that tures yelled. Sevrul nabors cams in frade of burglars she can't sleep to know wot was the matter. nights, now papa an mamma are " good eel," said I. away, so she keeps that telegraf op"Wot?" said they. rator sitting up in the parlor till 12 " good eel," said I, and then I or after. Then she goes up stares, " 1 do beleve women are looks all round, and under her bed, laffed. born nervous," 1 told them, " to make and leaves the lamp burning, an such a fuss about an eel they will eat don't dare to take a nap. I don't see without hollering a bit when it's on a wot makes girls such cowards.

Wough! Ec
never

e!
!

you

liurd

platter."

tell

you

was hungry when

They
friten

said I

was a naughty boy

to

went down

to supper.

My

sister

poor sister so, praps she wouldn't get over it for a week. That's always the way little Georgie is always to blame, even when his grone-up sister don't know an eel from * * * My dear paa black snake rents have been absunt 3 days an

my

ide me sturnley. " George," sade she, " the teacher

I am getting along tolrabul though my sister is vexed about my going fishing agane all day yesterday in my best suit, witch I put on because it was Friday at scool an the teacher xpected visitors. If I had knone I would have stade away '.rom scool, I would have worn my nights.
well,

uther does, for I tore my new ones and got some tar on my jacket where I hit it agenst the wagon
badly,

has been here agane to report your absunce. Where have you been all day?"_ " Fishing," was my reply. " When do you expect to learn to write and spell propurly," she ast, " if Did you you waste your time ? bring home anuther snake ?" I told her no 1 was enuff. " Georgie, I have asked in a few yung folks to spend the evening, I am so lonesum. Go and put on your new suit, behave like a little gentleman, an I will allow you to sit
;

up

till

10."
is it

"

What

smells so ?"

she said.

82
sniffing,

A
!

Bad Boys

Diary.

when I came in the parlor. " O, Georgie what have you got on your new jacket ?" But her friends came, an she could say no more. I was so tired I kept very still an polite all the evening, only when Betty brought in the tray with cake and lemonade, I happened to put out my foot and she stumbled, an the lemenade went over everything. Betty is a very owkward servant. But I was sent to bed.
bad been aslepe about two I was woke up by the offulest screming, like the house was on fire. I got up an peeked oiit in the hall. Bess came rushing in her night-gown, an pushed me in an
I gess I

" 0, don't go up without your armed

he'll

murder you !" of them went up 2 staid with Bess, coz she hung on so they I folloed them to could not help it.
So
2
:

my
He

sister's room. Cawshusly they looked under the bed. Yes, there They dragged him out. was a man
!

let

them drag.
once.

He

did not even

hours when

turned the key. " 0, Georgie !" she panted, there's a horrid big burgler under my bed."

She threw up my window and murder, fire, till some of the nabors came and gnocked on the door, an I had to go down an let them in. Bess an cook an Betty oil rushed down an threw theirselfs into the
called help,

Johnny's father stood ready with a chare to brane him if he resisted. When they had pulled him out they looked at me. " George Hackett, this is some of your work." " Well," sade I, " Bess was so surtin she should find a burgler under her bed, I put one there for fun. Don't he look nacheral? only you've left his boots under the bed." The burgler was papa's does stuffed with straw. Papa and mamma have been away 4 days, but Bess has telegrafed for them to come back to-night. She says another 24 hours of her bad brother I'm doubtwill be the deth of her.
fire his pistol

men's arms. ful if I get my pony after oil my " Wot is it ?" ast the nabors. There seems to efforts to be good. "A man under my bed; I sawhini be a pregudice agenst me in this gust as plain as day," gasped Bess. community.

He

Contrives to go to the Wedding.

CHAPTER

XXI.

HE CONTIUVES TO GO TO THE WEDDING.

any more. Oh, gust as good as the minister. It was wicked boy these Sundy, gust the time; would they go to Sunday- let me baptise them ? regular, an try to Annie Spriggs she laughed, which they must be do gust as the minister does, there 4 I told her it was rong Oh, very solium she an Lizzie could I ana a wicked, sectreligus boy. I'm sick o trying to stand on the bank an sing like they what's the use I told Minnie an Lucy be good. When a little incent boy, ought to. not nine years old, has the hull town they must not be fritened if the water down on him, an the decons an the was cold. They said, "No, indede!" Sunday-school supertendant, an the Then we all repeted the Lord's preacher besides, wot is he going to prayer very sereous. I was sorry My mind is made up Minnie had on her best blue sash an do about it ? I'll go fur- button kids I'll run away agane. the water spoils things ther than Aunt Betsy's next time. so but she was gust as brave as a The town will be quiet after I am little lion she didn't holler or kick They won't have any one to one bit, but looked as sweet as an gone. slander but the men what's up for angel when I led her out; but, oh President. They seme to be most as my, how she did begin to shake, an bad as I am. there wasn't any shawl to put around Yesterday was Sundy afternoon her, so I hurrid up to baptise Lucy. it was a brite, pleasant day, the I guess I hurrid a little too fast bluebirds sung I We both sliped on the slipery stones so did the frogs. asked mamma mite I walk out in the on the bottom, an fell down, an Lucy grove to find some traling arbutus. strangled like anything an couldn't She said yes, if I would be nice an get up the streme was a going that fast it swept her away like a fether. quiet coz it was the Sabbath day. It was plesent in the woods, there It's lucky she was not quite drownwere sevral little girles there picking ded coz the girl hollered like fun, an wild flowers; the brook was deeper some men came running, who got so her out an took oph their coats and than yousal for the spring rains I said to Minnie Brown an Lucy put round her an Minnie, and carrid Wheeler wouldn't they like to be them home quick as they could. Nobuddy thought to put anything very, very good children an join the church. They said they would. So around me, tho I was shaking so I Oh, how my I told them I would baptise them could hardly walk.
am not a bad boy am a wicked, Because I daysl school an to church
I

no, I

84
teeth
!

Bad

Boy's Diary.

chattered I've had a sore I thought it over, and finally deever since so I couldn't ete cided he was so much bigger I'd anything but gruel and soft stuff; better hide till his rath blew over. they say it serves me right for being So I told the doctor I guessed I'd go It don't seme to scool by the back lane, so Mr. such a wicked boy to do a bit of good to tell 'em I was Wheeler wouldn't get a chance at not making fun I gess I'll give up me. trying to be a preacher or a doctor He said he thought himself " disas soon as my throte is well my plans creshun was the better part of are layed keep dark, my diry, lay vallor;" but I'm going to carry a few brickbats in my pokkets to be prelow. Minnie and Lucy are sick in bed pared. What with Johnny's mother's one's got the croup the other's got loaded pistol and Mr. Wheeler's digestion of the lungs but I heard horsewhip, a little felloe like me Dr. Moore tell Sue, in the hall, they don't seme to have any peice of his were out of danger so what's the life. It's a burning shame the way If I you'd think I'm treated by high and lo. use of all this muss ? I'd turned the world over and all the could deside in my own mind wether little girls were falling oph. I sailors or scouts had the golliest thought their parents would like to times, I could make my preparations have them goin the church ; sted of akordingly; I will have to wate until that Betty tells me confidenshally after the wedding to disappear, whicli that Mr. Wheeler has bought an offul is next day after tomoro. ugly horsewhip, to give me a tanning I do hope my throte will get well It the first time I appere on the strete. enuff for me to engoy the spred. He is a nasty, ugly, mean ole thing will be a burning shame for a boy He's four times my size, witch is with a appetite like mine to have a
throte
!
; ;

When

cowardly to lick one so much smaller. sore throte when his sister is marrid. Dr. Moore comes up to my I would like to sell out my throte. room to touch my throte, I'm going It is horrid dull being sick. Mamma to ask him if he won't be rny second. says what do I think of poor Johnny I I guess ole Wheeler won't dare to having to lay six weeks in bed ? punish me when he hears the doctor am glad I am not Johnny. I knew is on my side. better than to clime a tree to get a * * * I asked Doctor Moore kite o\it. I don't kno what to do to would he be my second. He said pass the time. I am well enuff, only " Are you goin to fight a duel, Geor- something sticks in my swalloing gie?" an he sort of smiled. pipe but Betty will not let me dress said Wheeler has bought a I ole she has taken my does out of the horsewhip, but I think I ought to room if I am a good, quite boy, I have the choice of weppons. am to get up tomoro I must try to He said he thought so too what get well for the wedding. Betty says that fool telegraf would I choose ?
:
;

He

Contrives to go to the Wedding.

writ.

85
2

oprator what did not know enuff to let Bess think he bot the flowers, is all rite agane he is going to stand up with Bess, an be a misher in the I ast Betty what was a church. nusher. She sade she was not sure she guessed he let the people in the I told her that was a ganitor pews. these servants are a ignorant
; ;

Never mind,

can play

at

that game. * * * Well,

my

sister

Sue

is

Mrs.

Doctor Moore now.

their

They

are off on

set.

wedding trip to parts unknone. There is pease and quiet in the house now, Betty's legs is geting rested. She said they ached like the toothake when she went to bed for a week beforehand, but Sue she gave
her fore of her old dresses, witch were not good enuff for a bride witch took the ake out wonderful. I had a good time at the wedding after awl. Doctor Moore kept me in bed giving me ipkak once in fore hours witch I spit out evry time but I staid in bed an groned an let on I was offul sick an could not swoller I read the whole of " Eobison Crueso" an "Fatnly Eobison" 3 times when no one was looking, so the afternoon of the purformunce witch was very fashnubble at five o'clock mamma come up an said she was dredful sorry I could not go an so did the doctor but it would not be prudent. O how I laffed when he went out of the room so the moment they went down I carried out my plan to fool him good like he had
;

is that busy she flys around hen with its head cut off even mamma has been in but once to-day to see me weddings are an offal lot of bother. O what fun I'm missing, shut up here with evrybuddy els bizzy as beezs. I herd the doctor and Sue laffing in the hall this morning when he had been in to see how my throte was I herd him say " His throte is scarcely sore a bit but I'm going to make him think he

Betty

like a

is

dangerously sick,
best place for a

till

after

you

are

safely

married to me,

my

darling.

The

boy

like that is
:

in bed,"

an my sister laffed and said "It's ruther a severe goke on poor Georgy;" then he said
:

"

He

deserves

it.

If that

boy

is

around, no teling what will happen."

I have been brooding over what I herd ever since. It's a shameful plot to kepe me out of the way. I thought he was my frend. An Sue is in the plot I dont beleve a little boy was ever treted so before. He gave me ipcak on purpose to kepe me feling sick I am to have ipcak
! !

me. no close but 1 pare 01 old ragged pants I had slid down hill in all winter because Betty had carried them oph, an my slippers, but I made these do very well because I took a sheet oph my bed, an slid an lie in bed, insted of cake, an along the hall to a back room climed creme, an salad, an bone turkey, an out on the roof of the kitchen, went a good time at the wedding! I down the water-pipe over the fense, thought the doctor was an onest man down the alley like a streak cause but it semes he is a fereful hippock- there was no time to lose, along a
tride to fool

I could find

86
back
street till I

A
was
safe,

Bad Boys

Diary.

an then I heartless snuff to pretend he's sick The and give him ipkak to kepe him in folks had not begun to arrive yet bed so he can't come to see his own urly on purpose I came but the sister get marrid?" O how evry seckston had unlocked the door to body laffed xcept our folks. It is begin to lite up as I krept in "wenhis very rong to laff in church the way bark was turned and cut up behind they did. I may be a bad boy but I the pulpit where I rapped the sheet seldom laff or whisper in church. around me like it was the minister's Doctor Moore he gust looked up and white gown and lay lo. said, " Come down, Georgie, an take I kept as still as a mouse all the a front seat, I promis never to do so tim e the hull poplation of the town was again. You beat me every time." poring into the pews. Every seat was " Very well," said I, " Mr. Slocum crowded, tho I could not see them I you can proseed with the show but herd the rushing an whispering. I'll have to be xcused from coming After a long, long time witch made down because Betty hid my Sunday my gnees ake, I herd them say suit I'll remain where I am." So there they come The organ played they got married after all but some very soft, Mr. Slocum came in from implite peple kept giggling out in the vestry, the seremony began. I the most solium parts. waited till he came to the place I think, dear diry, our famly has where it says " If any one can show learned a leson not to be ungust to one who may make some mistakes gust cause or impenitent why then I bounced rite up in the pulpit but generly tries onestly to be a with the sheet around me and said good boy, I have been treted pretty very loud and plain " I can, Mr. well since. Nobody scolded a word, but took me in one of the carriages Minister." Such a lot of sprised peple you when we went home, an Betty gave never saw. Most of them stood up me my close quick so I could fix an the women hollered like I was a myself up for supper. Lil an Monbc.-ir. Sue turned as pail as a gost tagu gave me a seat between them auJ grabbed the doctor's arm like and everything nice to ete. I was she was afrade he would run away. desprit hungry after so much tea and Mamma and papa an the doctor gave toste " Georgie," said Lil, " I see a sort of grone I gess they felt dis- you are as bad as ever," an she laffed curridged. While Mr. Slocum was an laffed but I herd the doctor say staring up to see who it was, I went to Sue that he had changed his mind on in a hurry for fear they would about their hording with her folks " I gust want to when they came back they must not let me finish. know if its fair to a little boy to board at the hotel I wonder why. have for a brother-in-law a doctor

made a bee

line for the church.

In the Lion's Den,

87

CHAPTER
IN

XXII.
DEN.

THE

LION S

I spose I must a been thinking says it is urly in the season for the circus crop to come about nacheral history. Papa says unless I have a good up, but there is one coming next Friday. He has given me 50 cents report this friday, I will not be

The doctor

allowed to go. I hope he will give vulgar me money to go, for I had to spend it is all rite when you are playing the 50 cents docktor gave me buying I am Charlie's gack-knife I mislaid mine marbles, but not in a diry. I for Jimmy's ball, witch was the learning pretty fast now days
to

go in on.

The

doctor

is

a bul

golly

good brother. Bully

is

study the circus

to spell.
late,

bills

to learn
it

how

biggest.

The bucher has sold his pony to but they are more interesting the juge for his daughter. Papa than the second reader. I can spell said it cost him moren the 40 dollars "akrobat," "summer sault," an the pony would have cost to repare sevral more long words of witch I damages when he got home. That was igrant last week. I think if is alwas my luck. If enny thing teachers would have circus posters gose wrong about the house, it's instid of readers, scollars Georgie did it. there If I was fired from would learn faster. It is a com- a cannon or a bare back rider I bination circus and mennnjury. As would have an eazier time. I should the bills say, children can study think grone up folks would be afrade nachural history in all its wonderful their children would run away an varieties of animuls, an advises become tumblers or trappeas purteachers an parents to give them a formers when they are made so holly-day. retched at home. There is the To-day I stood up to do a sum in dearest little love of a pony on the division on the blackbord the scol- bills you ever saw, with a boy about lars begun to giggle, and the teacher my size. I lay awake last night said sturnly ever so long thinking about it. " George Hackett, 10 marks for Offen and offen I have been sent away from table without any pie ; misconduck." I did not know what was up till I offen and offen I have been sent to looked at my sum. What do you bed for some harmless aksident. Every buddy is down on me. I try think it was ? big elefant with his to kepe out of scrapes, but this town great is so full of em I cannot help it. Ime trunk.
Sometimes
;

makes me

88
laffed at

A
an ridiculed

Bad Boys
was the

Diary.
on a boy's back,
little

like I

so hard as hop-scotch

worst boy on nearth. The town counsel threten to tax my father for i boy. The tax on a dog is i dollar they say the tax on me ought to be at least iooof a month 12,000 a year. I am going out of town bout a mile to see the prosession come in. Charlie an me are going together. Poor Johnny, his leg will not be I feel well in time for him to go. real bad about Johnny can't go to
the
circus.
I

wit:h shows

how much

girls

know. Papa went out after supper to look how much I had done. Would you believe it, dere diry, I had pulled up all the young unions and left the
weeds, after he told me so pertikular witch was witch ? It seems as if I never would get 50 cents to go to the circus.

* * * Dere diry,

may

as well

know

feel about it. 50 cents last night for doin errans, but I'm afrade I will have to ask Bess' bean what he would do if he wanted to go an had not got the money to go, because I spent mine for 3 plates of ice cream, orange, venilly, and lemon. I was so warm last evening I wanted to see witch kind I liked best, and mamma says I shall not ask for any more. So I said to that telegraf oprator last evening did he like circusses, an I was very, very fond of them indeed, only I had no money to buy a ticket. I wish I had. lie said that was very I sad, but he did not oiler me any. tell yon if Bess marries him she will be very sorry he is a miser. I saw
;

must

how he Papa gave me

gust

him wink
had

at Bess

when

I refurd to I

the circus; no gentleman winks.

finally to tell

papa I would weed the garden 2 hours for 50 cents, cause Sam is sick what does our garden papa agrede. There was a shower to-day, so as soon as I got liome from scool I worked like a O, how negro till tea was redely. I thought my back tired I was was broke, but Bess said it was not
; !

begin at the beginning. The circus has come and went like a butiful dreme. Charley and I went out to meet it. I tell you it was xciting almost as if we belonged tc it, running rite alongside of the band-wagon, then we would slow up and let the hull thing go by, rinosserosses, hippotmusses, 2 live elfants, a giraft which has such fun swollowing, cause it tastes good all the way down, a friteful tiger, 2 fereful lions, kept for the purpose of the felloe putting his head into see would they bite, all kinds of wild animals, among which were sevrul pretty girls, lots handcomer than Sue and Lil, purched on the elfants' .backs, also on those humpy creatures what gro camel's hair sholls, whatever you call them. It was much finer than the milentary parade last 4 of July. I mist my dinner I forgot all about it, watching the felloes put up
;

the
I

tents,

so

when
to

got

home

had gust time

grab a piece
;

of pie Betty saved me she lent me a dime to buy gingercakes to feed the elfants, and live cents to buy a glass of lemunade, and then I was oph like a streak. I did not think

In

lOV'S Dei? the Li

89

what might happen before I saw my was, there was a swelled place on it, homo agane. Bess was going in the an I felt kind of queer, so I took my evening long with you know who. seat and wated for the show to begin. I ast mamma was she going, but she I was sick of being kind to animals. It My headaked some, but I spent a said she did not care about it. was very singler that people can deliteful afternoon. The purformance first live to be so old as to take no interest was class, no humbug the in the circus when it comes to town. clown was rich. I guess I blushed
;

So I thought as I past by Peters' when he pointed me out to the hull grosery I would buy a nounce of red crowd and said pepper. I mite want it if I ever had is this little chap like I got some Jonah ?" to help make catchup.

"Why

cakes for the elfant too, and then I

The ring-master could

his reply.

went in good' time

before the
offul, offul

to see the

animals
It

not tell. " Coz the elfant throwed him up/'

circus

begun.

was was

funny to see the monkeys sneeze. I laffed myself most into fits. The keeper said some noty bad boy had put peper in their cage, if he found out who it was he would put him out an have him arested. He was mad as he could be, so I moved away, and went over to the
elfants. I

cake
ful

gave the large one a gingerhe seemed glad to get it, but
republicks, are ungratescool reder)
it

elfants, like

(see

my

for

he

only just swallowed

when sunthing
like I

happened to me,

my

did not kno what

!

was shook playing bones, an bang

teeth

was went right

up agenst the top of the tent xpect that little Georgie would have been no more, only he came down in play went on. mind was made a carefull of tanbark which they up. No more being the laffing-stock were going to put in the ring. That of my native town. No more being trechrus elfant had got mad gust called a Bad Boy several 100 times a because I put a leetle teenty bit of day. No more scool no more scold-

Folks laffed, but he must be ignorunt of his Bible it was not an elfant threw Jonah up, but no matter, I had a good time. The traned pony was wunderful, and the way those yung ladies went thru those whoops was thrilling in xtreme. Oh, how I envid the little fellows that turned those summersets an stood on their father's heads how I side because my father was not an acrobat. I believe I can stand on his head gust as well as they did if he would only give up real estate and go into the circus bizness but he has no ambishun. When I am of age I can chose my own profeshun. My brane was not idol while the

My

His k'eper red peper in his cake. had a lot of trubble getting him clammed down agen. He shoke his fist at me an said he would not care
if

would learn the circus trade. After the purformanse was over I went to visit Sue. I hoped she would
ing.

ask

me

to stay to supper, coz she

if

had got

my

head broke

as

it

bords at the hotel, an

went

to

9o

Bad Boys
I

Diary.
I

supper mebbe I would see some of those felloes in tites, but they must have had a table to themselfs. I was I told the doctor quite disappointed. if I had 50 cents I would go agane in the evening, but Sue said " No, onse was enuff, it would keep me out too
late." I

back,

did not sleep

much more
jolted,

was

cold,

and the wagon

and

the driver talked offul to his horses when he got mad; then I sudenly woke rite up it was getting to be dalite, I could see the fences an trees. I stirred a little, my lims were so

stiff,

hung around
;

till

saw them

My

and then something growled heart stood still, then it went so

marble of the Universe." I must have fell asleep, tho I tride hard to keep awake. When I awoke, the wagon was in moshun. I could see the stars shining, witch made me fele a little homesick, but I kep very still,
for I did not

they went in the evening with fast I heard it in my ears like a thouyoung people. sand of brick. I did not dare to stir " Now, Georgie, dere, run rite agen, but my legs aked dredful. strait home, there's a good boy, so Pritty soon I turned my head bout a mamma will not worry," said Sue. ninoh, an I saw a lion. I was in his My plans were cage. He lay there sprolled out, his I took my time. lade. I played with the boys in the nose on his paws, his yellow eyes street till bout 9 o'clock then I winking at me like he thought it was sliped out to the hotel stable, cut a good goke. O, my diry, if I live to cross lots, come out behind the big be as sold as Methusla, I'll never, tent, where all the wagons stood that never forget the roar that followed were not inside, an I cralled in one Wurds will not deskribe it. There of the wagons an pulled a cloth or we were, little Georgie an the lion. sumthing over me, so they would not It got liter and liter. He gust lay diskover me, an there I lay and there winking at me like it was fun. waited. I knew they would start I did not see it. If I moved the bout 2 that night I heard the men least bit, he growled. I was pairsay so. I meant to get taken along lized with terror. I said my prayers then the following day when they over and over. I thought of mamdiskovered me, I would say I was a ma, an Lil, an Betty, how good orl'an boy who wanted to learn the every budy was to me, an how trade then they would take me in wicked I was to run away, an the an put me on the bills as "Little lion he wunk evry time, as much as Georgie, the 9 day3 Wunder, whose to say, " Too late you oughter ackrobackit purformanse is the thought of that sooner, little Georgie

oph

the utlier

wate

till

my

breakfast time.
bites

You
I get

will only

make two

when

hungry." O, it was friteful. Time passed very slo. It got to be brod dalite. The lion began to waive his
tail

chops. I guess want them to find out I fanted. was there until we had got a grate When I come to my senses I was ways oph, so they could not send me lying on the grass. There were

an lick his

He
several

is

Disinherited.

9i

the hull back and when he saw me he was had come to a stop. Some dead beat. He got me out quicks buddy had thrown water in my face. he could; he had to lick the lion I sat up an ast with his whip. So I rode with him " Didn't he eat me up, after all?" upon his high seat till we came to " He came within a nace of it," the next town and then I gave up

men around me

prosession

of the circus business in disgust. I arrived home late that afternoon The folks were footsore an wery. den ?" I told him how I crolled in the regoiced to see their bad boy back They welkomed him like wagon cos I wanted to learn the agane. There was trade. All them rough felloes laffed he was the prodigul son.
said a driver.

"

How in the name

wonder d-d you come in

ole Cicero's

an advised me to go home to my mother. "You've had an arrow " left escape," said the driver. ole Cicero in his wagon cos he was sick, but how did you get in ?" I told him I opened what I thought was a door, I turned a handle an opened the door an shut it it was a sliding door, an I laid down very

We

cold ham, fride potatoes, an waffles I think with maple syrup for tea. I never tasted such a delishus meal.

Our house is a very comfortable house an I don't seem to care about standing on my father's head so

much
rect

as

I did.

Pinafore

is

cor-

he heard the lion growl, so he looked

quiet.

Then he

told

me how

" Skim milk maskerades as cream, An things are not what they seem."

CHAPTER
HE
IS

XXIII.

DISINHERITED.

Unkel Samson is visiting to our house he is quite old an febul, and offul funny, only mamma says I mus not say he is iiinny, becos he is ritch, an a ole bashlor, so mebbe he will leve little Georgie his muney if he is a good boy wile his unkel is
;

buy
I

the

bucher's

pony you bet!

I kno wot I will do if and leaves me his money.

here.

wish he would hury up an die, for Bob's father is tauking of buying the pony. He has a very bald spot all over his head, an he is that def you have to screme like a locomotiv whissle to make him here or els you he dies have to go close up to him an holler I will in a ere-trumpet. Our techer told

92

Bad

Boy's Diary.

hs we had drums in our eres, but Bess by the uther, an they asked Unkel Samson has to have a trumpet me wot I said to unkel to make him I told them It is out of sorts all day. cos his drums are wore out. small at one end, large at the uther, not to wurry, I had not said a thing.

before I " You must be careful, Georgie, or " Unkel, are the fat will be in the fire," said went to scool. I said, He seemed cirprised. mamma, very solium. " Hush don't you tite?" " What do you mene, my son ?" said make a noise he is aslepe on the " Cos Bess say3 you are as tite loung in the sitting-room run out he. as the bark of a tree but some bark dores an play, there's a good boy." is that loos it peles of itself. I would I did as I was told, like little boys The sitting-room wihdo like a dollar to buy Willie Wilkes' ought to. xpr ess-wagon, so I can kepe cook in was open I noticed when I got in the chips an save kindling-wood, Unkel." yard so I krept up softly an looked His specks were on the windo Insted of giving me the dollar he in. scouled an said " Hey ? hey ? your sill. I gust tride them on Towser, sister says I am tite, does she ? to see could a dog see better with I was going to pre- specks, but Towser gumped over Young minks sent her with a hansome silk dress, the fense cos he seen a cat, an wen but I'll think twice about it. Fokes he come back the spepks o whare I dared not go over the that have no money alius think folks were they ? who have oughter thro theirs around fense to look, for Johnny's mother kepes" a -pistol loded to shoot me on like wotter." He kep snifing and snorting and site. They were gold rimed and I
so I

tauked in

it

little

;'

over his head. It was a great temtashun to try if if he don't squonder it :" but he was my fishin-rod was long enough, to that out of umor it was like rubbing tuch the lounge so I put a it was a cat the rong way he gumped up blu-bottel on the fish hook an held it. and hobbled about mutring to himself over unkel's mouth gust for fun. I so I was glad to take my lunch basket did not expect to each any fish, of an go to scool by the way of the depo course, but my arm got tired holding to see wot was going on in the railrode the rod up, and the hook got in his bisness. mouth by mistake, an gust then he So v/hen I came home from scool snezed in his slepe an his mouth shut th am ma took me by one scolder, up tite. I tried to pull the hook out'

glared at me through his speks like I was a sho, but he did not give me the dollar. Fering he was angry I.tride to make him plesant agane by telling him in the trumpet, "Mamma said, Never mind, Bess, if your uncle is a miser so mutch the better fur us tli ere will be more muney to leve us

quite sorry Towser lost them. Dogs never seme to think how thing3 Unkel slept on costs lots of money. very peaseful, with his mouth open, making a little noise like his throte was a bottle letting the watter rim out, with a red banana hankerchef
felt

He

is

Disinherited.

93

very softly; the hateful thing would specks. I had got Betty to go over not come, but ray unkel did, for I in Johnny's mother's garden an hunt got so fritened I dru so hard I dru em up, but the glas was gone out of

him

clere oph the lounge. O how both rims, so I took the glass out of I droped the rod an cut my sister's iglasses, witch is shorthe yeld like a stroke of litening out to the sited, and fixed up my unkel's first barn, where I got lost in the hay so rate. I did not dare to go in his no buddy could find me for a long room, cos he was stil mad at me,
!

time.

dark when I crop in cook was there stiring the kichen when a lot of grewel on the stove she saw me she looked dagers. " you wicked crewel boy," said she, " wot put it in your head to pla your poor unkel such a horid trick?
It

was

after
;

He may
ful

dye, the doctor

it

time, cutting

had a friteout of his tong,

which is that tore and ktsrated he will have to live on grewel for wekes an wekes, being olreddy old an febul he may dye from the konsekwenses says he " My isight is completely gone of your crewelty." "Brigget," said I, in a confidenshal Wot shall I do ? These speks fitted wisper, "if I tell the bucher my me xackly I could see thrue em unkel is going to dye, don't you gust as clere as day, an now, all is a think he will kepe the pony for me cloud dear O dear a blur a little longer ?" The shock that bad boy gave me She held up her hands a minnit, must a destroid my isight I am then she sat down and laffed an stone blind. dear !" " Maybe the glasses are not clene," laffed. " let me give em a Georgie Hackett, you do beat the said the squire Duch," said she. Mr. Samson." rub,
;

but I was that ankshus about the I felt I must hear about the will, wether I w,n s to be his air or not, so I sliped in behind Betty when she carried in his grewel, and got under the bed as esy as ennything, an when I had been there a while Squire Gray come an they locked the dore, an put a table by the big chare by the bed an fixed thier ink an a big shete of paper then my unkel put on his specks, an in about a minit he gave a dreadful grone, an

pony

think it was hartkss of her to an my unkel sick in the house, but some people have no felines. It is sevral days since my unkel was taken sick with a fish hook in 'lis tong the doctor says he is now wanesent. Bess says he is very
I
laff,
;

So he rubed and rubed, but my poor unkel could' see no beter. " This is afereful stroke," said he.
" I shall

cut

the

yung

raskal
sister,

oph
too,

without a penny.

My

1-

o
;

the hypocrite, to call me a old miser she shall not have a cent. Nor athy at me. So to-day, bean able Miss Bess, my neise, to say I was sit up, he wanted to make a new tite. Yes, Squire, my mind is made ''ill he colled for paper, ink, an his up to leve my muney to the horns

94
for
etts shall

A:

Bad

Boy's Diary.
hull family

agged men. None of the Hacktuch a dollar of "it. I was quite taken with that little chap at he first, but he is uterly depraved muney will go to prison some day He has lost a will only spoil him. cool hundred iooo % by his tricks on

up

hollering

how

he had

his old unkel."

Dear me, I am a friteful chinate boy I kep still wile they The more excited unkel grew, the" tauked, an rote, an rote ; and then deffer he got, so evrybuddy had to the squire unlocked the door an holler in his ere-trumpet; such a colled in somebuddy to witness the time It semes as if our famly was
!
!

There was no more peice that night. His gold watch wurth 2 hundred dollars an 3 hundred in his wallet was a little too much He was gust wild. There was a windo open, papa thought somebuddy must have entered thro unfor- it an took the things.
been robbed.

was hot always getting into skrapes other tired, an the famlys don't seem to have so much first thing I knew I was fast asleepe. trubble. Nothing could be done When I woke oil was dark as a stak that night, so at last we went back to of black cats I could hear him snore bed about dalite. Befour brekfast so I crep out an put my hand very I took the watch and wallet back to solly under his pillo where I heard unkel. I told him I gessed the thefe them put the will it was there so got fritened an droped them, but the was his watch an wallet I took them paper could not be found, so he gave to my room to give him a good scare, me 10 cents, an said I was not such hateful old rip to slander his own a bad little boy after all he could litle nevu 1 put the other things rite anuther will when he got reddy, betwene my matreses, then I struck mebbe he would not leve quite oil his a lite and held the will in it until it muney to agged men. Then I spoke took fire an "crumbled to ashes" like to him frendly through the trumpet. I had read in a novel ; I burnt my I asked him how long pepel of his fingers and let some of it drop, but I age generaly lived, because if he had put the blaze out quite esy there got to die soon, I would be obliged was nothing ingured but my new to him if he would leve me forty dolsummer wastes witch Miss Pettigru lars to buy a pony I had always had brought home that day there longed to own a pony. I told him was a large hole through the bosom Bess said he was an old newsance, of three of them. I went down an cause she had to tauk so loud it made found it was only ait o'clock ; my her throte soar, but I did not mind fokes thought I had staid out late speking loud it was fun to holler in playing ball; Betty gave me some that thing like a telaphone. I asked cold rice puding an a peace of cake, him did he ever try to hear with hit and then I went to bed. teeth, and did he know Aunt Betsy Bout midnite there was a offul row was mad at papa, and would not lend in the house. Unkel Samson got the him money, and said our folks were
will,

an all was over. under the bed. I was

It

A
I told extravagant. tagu had a quarrel,

Fatal Experiment.

95

her evening out, so my sister said to and Docktor me " Georgie, if themSmith girls come Moore would be very poor until he got more praktise, an our cook was to-nite, remember I am not at home, not as neat as she might be, an my unkel is il, an mamma is engadged." So, of course, they came. I anthat papa was rather hi-tempered papa did not like his coming to spend sered the bell ; they ast were we to I said the summer with us, but mamma home. "No; unkel is very sick, mamma said it would be oil right, we would an how Betty is with him wile he writes his will, get onr pay for it grumbled to me she did not like to an Bess told me to say she was not to home, coz she was bisy with that button his gaters an wate on him he was to stingy to give her a doller telegraf beau of hers in the frunt now an then for her extra work. parlor he is teching her about the He seamed to like to hear me talk telefone." sometimes he grinned like he was That to-headed yunger girl she tikkled but mamma gave me a snickered rite out, an this afternoon teribul scolding this afternoon for Bess she pulled my hair like enny letting my tung run she said I had thing. She said it was alover town made mischef enuff I never can about her an the telefone, that she sute all partys. was ashamed to put her head out of For instans, last evening that tele- dores so you see how hard it is for graf oprator and Bess were in the little boys to kno what to do under frunt parlor ; Betty was away, it was most sirkumstanses.
:
;

Mm Lil an Mon-

CHAPTER XXIV.
A FATAL EXPERIMENT.

My

child. I have only unce since Monday, baby He pade 20 dollars for it, this is Wensday, witch is doing half enuff to buy me a pony, such a pretty well. I have only put a tode He says if he in the techer's desk unce this week goos, an only a girl. bot a boy it mite turn out like little it hopped out an made him gump as Georgie some of these days, which is if as he was a tode himself. I only vary true one bad boy in a famly ie put burrs in Katy's hair twise they But lately I had to cut some of it oph to get them enuff to kepe it bissy.

m dun the most rediclus thing bot a

!

brother

Montagu has up an gone have ben a xlent

i

ben

late to skool

Qb

Bad Boys

D iarv-

Lil is visiting at home now gust to She o not to be so vane of her out. little girls are very apt to be sho oph that yung one, so I stay out hair doors a good dele ; I do not like to vane, I am told. Unkel Samson was going to live at hear it cry, an it is getting on towrd the hotel, but T improved so much, he the 4 of July, an we boys have lots
lias

konkluded

to

remane with us

for

I kepe him posted in the present. what our fokes say, in a low voise, witch they do not wish him to here. He gives me five cents a-day. He is offul curius about what peple say. I cannot plese him better than to tell him oil the names they call him, old skin-flint, old moneybags, old skrue, old liveforever, an such. He says 17; a smart young felloe of my age, auhe will not forget to remember me. He stil wurries a good dele over his eye?, cause Sue's glases don't fit him. But to return to the baby, as the papers say. I have seen it such a

of fun in advanse with fire-crackers an uther things of a similar nachur.

2 married brothers, the telgraf oprater, an Unkel Samson kepe me in pokkit money, so I have more crackers than the uther boys, witch

My

makes them very kind an

to little Georgie.

obliging

There is an old canon on green in front of the town Hall is to be fired oph ioo times

the
;

it

the

morning of the fourth. But Charlie an I an some more boys have got a
lot of

sbe

"Why

didn't theypik out

powder, an we're going to do somethin funny the circus man did, soon I guess tomoro. It is a depe that secret, but I will tell the, my diry

stairs, rap it in its blanket and bring Lil hugs an kisses it like it was it down, then we will cut an run. the swetest thing in babies. She is The canon is alreddy loded with lots mad as hops' at me because I stuck a of powder an about 20 bulits we pin in it to see was it an Injian- made by melting up some led pipe rubber baby. I guess she will be a we took out our cistern, golly bulits
lot.

could crepe an had hair on its head, :iii could play marbels with its little unkel? This one is a perfeek idiut I should gudge, besides being a why did they not at lestc fiijimi buy a white child that would lie reqieckabel when it grows up J I asl, " wot trilie docs it belong II ly sister two?" She said she ''guessed the Kickapoos." Such a disgrace to the llackctts. I suppose they got it because it was chepe, or the last of the

The

circus

feller fired

man

rite

out the canon's mouth. Our cannonis not big enuff to fire a man out but it will fit a baby gust as snug, if the baby is small. So we are going to borro Lil's, it is vary small. But we must not let her kno, she is that careful of it as if it was an eg. We are to watch round after dark when she
get's it to slepe and gose down to sit in the parlor, then I am to stele up

big as hikry nuts. I hope it will eye not hurt the baby much I do not this morning like she had taken les- think it will the man that was fired sons I was very mutch cirprised oph was not hurt a partickle, Jimmy the way she did it. Brown ia going to borro his granma's

prise-fiter

when

she grows

up

she

struck out an hit

me

strait in the

Fatal Experiment.
to

97
fires

fether bed for it to be shot into. After the baby is shot out of the canon I'm going to run home with it, an then we're going up have a bonfire of tar barels witch is splendid fun. * * * I wish pepel would tend
to

be a bizzy day in our visinity.

canon, rings

The town counsel

bells,

their

own

affares

an

let

little

boys have some fun once in a wile. Our plan was a perfeck suckces as

the baby out of the house an getting it nicely fixed in All was reddy to appli the canon.
far as getting

oph 500 dollars wurtli rokkits, of fireworks in the evening roming candels, cathrin wheels, triangels. There are to be 2 picnics in the daytime, ours an the coliurd fokses, an the military are to march at ten, an then a womans rites convenshun, an sevral other things going oph Lke the corks of soda water botles. I xpect to have s
an
sets

the

mach, I was gust about to give word to tuch her oph when we herd such a friteful screming you would a thought some buddy hed got their fingirs smashed, an Monthe

glorious

shouting " Georgie, Georgie, hold on " and there was papa an mamma an Sue an Lil an the doctor an Montagu an Betty an the cook a running for deer life an Montagu snached the baby out the canon an Lil fell down an fanted ded away an Sue went into hesteriks such a time about a little rat of a thing that was not worth buying in the furst place besides, we had not the slitest intenshun of hurting it
tagu's

voice

From five o'klocK time. urly til midnite I shall be as bizzy as a bee having a golly time. I have given papa a solium promis that I will will not t o not play with powder within 10 feet of boys who have toy

canons will not fire a pistol and he has bot me some nice fireworks, to say nothing of about 2 bushel of lire
crakers.
plese in a barl

can put as many as I an set em oph all at a time. I am sory I cannot have any powder, but papa says he does not wish his only sun to lose bis fingers or isite, witch will not be plesant, that's a fak. I am not to throe any
I

crakers at

little

girls, a

notty thing

we had the fether bed fixed all rite. to do, for their dress mite get on fire It semes Betty had been mean enuff an burn them up. I can go with to look in the, my diry, to see what them to the picnic, but I am dredI wrote las night, an when she read fuly undesided wot to do about it. it she run to see was the baby gone, I prefer to see the miltary parade an an when she found it mising she here the band, but Sue an our cook Such a fuss are making an offul lot of good roused the hull house.

much

I d not think as about nothing. She had I did. as of Betty no rite to look at what I rote, tho Lil says she blesses her for doing it, els what would have become of her

When I for the picnic. think of the drums an of marching along behind em, I think I will goin when I smell the plum the parade cake an the spring chicken roastiiag, an the boiled ham and gelly, I make preshus, presbus baby. up my mind to goin the picnic. I promises July * * * The 4 of
things

93

Bad

Boy's Diary.

novvel xperance witch few boys of my age have had. Imadgin how funny the world would look when I get up so high the pepel I gess I will are no biger than flys not ask my parents for fere they will country at this season. I will gust go an take the say no. Little Johnny is out agane, but his chances. It is made of silk, an cos mother will not alow him to play with sevral thousand dollars. They ar me, witch is a grate trial to Johnny. going to send up a lot of paper ones I am sory for him. the night of the Forth, but they are About the shows, last week there not to be compaired with this. I was another prestydigatator papa knol shall dreme of falling out of it would not let me go to see him. He to-night, my mind is so full of it. said such things were as caching as It would be offul fun to get ahcul of the mesles. Tomoro, witch is the the profesur an go up in it alone. day before the Fourth, at 3 o'klock I could go where I plezed, perfeckly xactly, there is to be a balloon asen- independent the furst little boy of shun from the publick square. man my age that ever made the assent is going up in it Praps I might go as far as it will be very alone. intresting. Our techer says it will Chicago, lite there, an be sent frustrate the laws of gravity, how a home I have alwns by xpress. thing that is liter than air won't stay wanted to see Chicago. Or if I staid down less you hold on to it. Gas is up till the earth turned over I might liter than air, so the man will fill it each a glims of China witch is on the with gas, clime in, cut the rope, and other side. I would like to throw away he will sore tord the sky like out a sand-bao; an astonish a Selestial enny thing, hire and hire it must who was not doing anything but be lovely I would give my new flying a kite when it made him gump gack-gnife to be abel to ride in a 20 feet an lose the string of his kite. balloon. If he will take me with I must have a long talk with the him I am bound to go. profesur to-morro morning so as to Hooraw I am going. lurn how to run the thing. I gust lade down my pen and streked I got over in their yard when the hotel, purtending Johnny's mother was down town an it down to I went to call on my sister Sue, but hunted an hunted till I found the I kontrived to see the Profesur who glase3 out of unkel's specks, so I took owns the balloon, an he said if my him some iwater in a vial an told parents would give their consent he him to rub the iwater on at night. would be happy to take me up with So the next morning I had his specks him. 0, wont that be bul golly ? fixed up all rite with the old glases I hope my parents will not be so ne could see as good as ever, an he crewel as to refuse. It will be a thot it was the iwater, an give me a
think eongres ought to pass an ack making the 4 of July a week long, and then I could go to both. However, we get a good eel of fun in advance. All kinds of shows seem to be perambulansing around the
1

*****

How He Ran
gold dollar he was so plezed. He has made anuther will in my favor

the Balloon.

99

Whether he cut the rope which held it, or whether it came umastened by
accident,

becauze I never

tell

him what

I call

no one can

say, but as th<s

back; he says I am an onest little boy. And now, my diry, let nie lock the in my desk so that prying Betty will not find out about the balloon and nip it in the bud. Good-night. I must say my prayrs an go to slepe. I hope the Lord will xcuse little Georgie from being such a bad boy, witch he never menes to,
to his

him

it happens. {Note ly the Editor. certain that such persons as have read rapidity. little Georgie's diary, will feel some More than a week has passed since regret in spite of his having been that hour, bringing no tidings of the so bad a boy in learning that his youthful aeronaut, and hope has plan of getting away alone in the gradually expired in every breast. balloon was only too successful.

only

We

balloon was nearly filled, and the professor about to cut off: the supply of gas and go into the car where Georgie was already proudly seated, the huge silken monster gave a sudden leap, and before the dangling rope could be caught it arose b.yond reach, and the vast multitude, with one groan of horror, beheld the poor little fellow waving his handkerchief as he feel quite was carried up, up with frightful

CHAPTER XXV
GOV/ HE

KAN THE BALLOON.

postive I shall never be the careles,
rash, idol child I

more

My dere, dere diry, is it possbul I behole the unce agane ? It is more than I xpected. Such a time as I have had. I gess Eobson Cruso an Jules Verne wish they had been in little Georgie's shoes, but it is a cerious bisness for a small boy of my own age to go up in a balloon alone
curious

was before

took

that ride.

Yes, it is deliteful for a minit or being in a balloon all to yourself, going up like a thousan of brie!:,
so,

waving your hankerchef and watching the peple growing small, seeing
the trane crall along like a snake, the an rivers an trees an fenses getting litler an litler but 0, how
fields

than I antispated. for bout a minit an a half, after that it is simply friteful. I ast Betty was my hair turned I am white I thofc h would be
It is ofFul

amusing

lonsom a little h-sy is when he has rosin about a m*le an find3 he can't

100
stop

A
is

Bad Boys
all

Diary.
the

the plagy thing worth a cent,

could say "Gack Eobsin," that balloon lited rite down on it like a bird you would sertanly say it was on a tree, it dragged along enough to Chrismas. I am glad now my sisters set your teeth on edg, but I gumped was not there to holler an screme out like litening, you bet, an I cot while I went up the rope, gack-nife the rope witch I had cut when we in hand, for I might have dropped. went up an tide it round a poor little It was ticklish bizness, but it was pine tree gust big enuff to hold it that or freze to deth, so I managed and there we were I made it very it, sure's your alive I jabed 2 holes sucure with lots of nots so it an come down the rope an et a sant- could not play me a trick an get A'itch an put his coat around me, away, an then I got in the car an lay which was in the car, an went to down, for it was warm down there, slepe. and I was offul used up and drowsy. When I woke up I dremed I was When I awoke it was broad dalite. I in bed an Betty was tucking me up, stood up an took an observashun. " Hallo, Georgie," said I, " this is but I soon sat up an looked around

nuthing around him xcept nuthing, and he is that cold but he had put his fingers are num a little basket in the car with a fu santwitches an a small bottle of likker of some kind, brandy, I gess, so I took a swallo, I was so cold, an it burnt like fire an then I thot I had better go up the ropes wile my lingers was limber an cut a small hole or two in the pesky thing, like I had read of, so it would stop going up tords Greenland. Dear, dear, you would never dreme it was the forth of July in six or seven hours

and there

how much

axdcnts I had got into anxity I had cawsed my dere parents, an I tuged an tuged to throw over a sand bag like the aeronaut had xplaned to liten her, but they were too much for little Georgie. So I rosined myself an et 2 more of

my

remaning santwitches.

I looked over the edg of the car an saw a black spot in the shining water. I said to myself " it is a whale;" but in less 'n 5 minits it

Then

proofed to be a very small iland about as big as a feild an before I

a good goke! bein recked on a dessert iland O if I had my diry what lots was saling along as nice as you please I'd have to write in it I must go rite over something that was bright to work at once an take an invenstory an smoothe as silver when I came of what I've got to bild me a hut an closer, witch I soon did, for the subsist on." So I et 2 more of the balloon was settling sloly, I saw it sanwitches, witch left 1 I was offul was a lake or oshun. Then I felt hungry it was a grate temptashun I was a gone case, domed to be to ete the last but I resisted. I was drownded, an his mamma would dredful thirsty, so the first thing was never kno what became of her only to surch for water. There was lots I thpt of of it all around the iland, but I was son. I felt very bad.
\o see

night.

how I was coming on. It was The moon shown butiful. I

How He Ran
was salt. There was no waded in an tasted of it to see where I was, wether I was in mid-oshun or one of the lakes between the United States and Canada, it was fresh. I then set to work at once to save my stores an bild my hut, like Robson Cruso but alas, a balloon is not worth a penny whissle beside a ship there were no nails no see biskit
afrade
it

the Balloon.

101

other, so I

no peices of old iron no but konsoled myself

I

salt

ought to though I winked and winked to kepe the tears back, wunking did no good. I took a nap, an after that I felt some better. I ast myself: " What would Eobson Cruso do ?" " Ah," said I, " he would get a stick an cut a noch to mark the days so he would know how many days he staid there." beef So I fixed a stick an cut a noch, an
as folks lost in such places
I

be.

could not help

it,

at last

by

gust making up my mind to use the old thing itself for my house. Then I wanted to bild a picket fence around it to keep off wild animals, but there were no pickets to be had nor no wild animals so far as I could obsurve so I started out to walk around the iland to look on the wet sand if there were any tracks of can;

that I spent the rest of the afternoon watching for a vessel to

after

heve in

sight.

No

vessel heved.

I found some clamshells, but there was no clams in them. I was very hungry. It grew dark an I crept to

my car, cuvered myself with the other

felloe's coat,

an slept sound all night was that tired an home-sick. nibulls. Morning came. I made skanty I walked a good ways without seeing any tracks or any brekfast on watter. My stummick canoos on the water; then I came hurt me so I remembered bout the back an on my way I found a surtin Injuns making their belts titer to
long, I

civilsashun that made my stop the nawings of hunger, but I heart beet an ole tin can, a tomatto had no belt, so I had to let her naw. can, rusty an bent, but I said I I cut another noch in my stick, and must not waste it, I may need it walked about trying to find a bread,
sign of

much so I filled it with water so I could stand a seege if the cannibulls arriv. By that time I was hot an wery. I climed into the car, et my sole remaining santwitch, drank alittle
;

but there was none on that There was nothing but sand an little recked pine trees my stumI thot of thff mick aked offul. wreckles way in which I had ofteD
f rute tree,

island.

I remembered given my mince-pie to Towser. I wondered what our fokes would was the glorious Forth, an peple were having picnick an m rch- have for supper and were they tryPerhaps ing an firing cannon an having such ing to find little Georgie. no they were glad to get rid of him golly fun, an how I would ha

of the

water an when

that

it

*,

lost

when he was such a trial to them. an starving on a dessert iland, I They never would find him, even if Q, cride a little, tho I tride to be brave they looked a month or a year.
upper, nor see no fireworks an was

102 how
from
little
little

A
boys plan
to

Bad Boys

Diary.
sit

nice, kind, comfortable

run away me would I homes, seremony ?

right

down without
There was fride

I did.

know how they will suffer when fresh fish an fride potatose, bread an a most delishus they are cast away on a dessert buter, an eoffy meal, but I had read how peple when Hand I continyud to feel hungry. I picked up ot to etc but little to begin thot of a grate many things, speshally on, so I refused fish an neggs an I also continyud potato the 4th time, an choked oph waffles an honey. The sun set. I on my fifth slice of bread. to look for a ship. felt worse an worse. I staid by the He sent the men to take the balloon shore then all of a sudden I saw abord after I told him whose it was, one not far oph a ship I mean. I an cost sevnil thousan f. He was ran an got my noched stick an put my very kind, an I shall be grateful to hankerchef on it an waved, but I him till I am grone up. It took us nede not have trubbled they told 4 days an nights to reach Bufflo, me afterward they were stearing but I past the time plesently talking strait for the queer thing Inched to with the salors, who made a pet of the tree. It was most dark when little Georgie, not knowing his reputhey dru near, lowered a boat, an tashun for being a bad boy. I told three men got in an rode ashore. them about my sisters, the new baby, " Hallo," said they, when they saw the telegraf oprator, an lots of things witch intrested them, an they told me. " Hallo yourself s," said I, very me about the see-serpent, the niurmades, and other wonders of the glad to see them. "Well, I'll be blowed," they deep, how to tie a salor's gnot, to go up the mast, an so 4th. I tride to ansered " did you ever?" " Hardly ever," said I, " gust once, make as little trubble as posbul, but in fac. Got anything to eat on bord I fell overborde twice in a deep place, your ship ? My balloon come down so they had to go in for me, an I lost here where there isn't even a bread- Ben's silver watch in the water, what frute tree or a watter-melon patch. his mother gave him, but I promised him a better one when I got home. I'm starving." An then I came mity near crying, The salors drew an nankor an a ship witch I wouldn't for anything, but on my arm in injy ink, so my parents would know me next time I got lost. stratened up, and asked them " Are you Merican or British I felt ever so bad to part with them when we got to Buflo. I rmged ar? stars ?" They said they were British tars, kissed them all, an shed a fa teres, who bu'onged in Canady, but they they rote all their names in a round were snling for Buflo ; would I like robin an gave me for a kepesake. So they took me on The captin took me to the cars tellto go there ? isorde where the captin was eting hi3 ing the conduckter I would be pade Me ast for when I got there, like I was a supper he was very polite.
; !

He Runs

a Locomotive.

103

C.O.D. I spose cause I had been in desert iland like I was. O, my, the water so much. how hungry I am give me suthin to I rode an rode all day, it was gust ete."
(

getting dark
staslmn.
I

when

got off at our

Good

Only one thing strikes me as bad boys' famlys seem I sliped oph the last car, an gust as glad to get them back when famly. cut for home by a back street, to see they have been lost as if they were what they would say when I came in not such dredful children. But I O, how my have had a leson, an I mene to try before they knew it. heart beet when I drew near it hard to be more worthy of Betty's strangling me half to deth pretending seemed I had been away an adge Even that little censury I went so fly in the back yard she is hugging m.-. an peped in the dining-room windo. redicklus rec oaby laffed when it saw My what lots of good things there was its unk ai Georgie.
in town, for I wished to cirprise the pecoolyer

had made the captin me prommis he would not tclgraf I was seen.

grashus but
draw a

my

pen

falcs

will

curtin over the

captin took supper; an there they sat about the P.S. It's well the table like ranmmys, not eting enuff charge of that balloon; the aeronaut worth the cooks trubble. Mamma has sude my father for seven 1000 $, had a hankerchef to faer eyes, Bess but now all papa will have to pay was pail an silent, Betty was snifling will be for the paches that will have as she handed the toste to Lil an to be sode on where I cut holes with Montagu such a set So I bounced my gack-nife. My sisters are going rite in the open windo like I was a to give the captin a silk flag, an a Ingy-rubber ball, an I said nice watch to each one of my trends, " You'd have a beter appetite, you the British stars they are golly (my
for

fokes, if

you had been

cast

away on

sisters).

CHAPTER XXVI.
HE RUNS A LOCOMOTIVE.
of staying bot me that pony. If I had him I house he has gone away. He should not have missed my unkel at went off huffy, without giving me a all. He did not intend going before pony to remember him by. I felt autum, but unxpected sircumstanses very bad the day he went away at hurrid his departyour. It is vakaparting with my unkel before he had shun now, an we boys have plenty

Unkel Samson is that tired

to our

io4
time to play, so
Charlie's father's

A
we had
stable,

Bad Boys
two

Diary.

a show in a dray an had his bagage tooken to after- the hotel. You see Harry had a pet

noons, admishun 3 cents, grone ups half prise. Charlie was a mnnky. Harry was a bear, and I was the Grate What Is It. had uther

donky which we purtended it was a baby elefant, so I had to borro my sister's cashmere sholl unknone to
it. Of coarse it had to have a trunk els the show would a been a ded falyure, an there was not another thing would anser

We

her to spred over

nnimuls an sevrul side shows. I Went to the barbers an had my head shaved, an then Charlie painted my face an hands dark brown. He had to use real paint what was left from the fense cos we had nothing
els,
site.
it

but did

unkel's ere-trumpet, witch when we got it fastened on, witch was a job. When he had
first

my

rate

so

you

may

gess
ill

It will taKe

I am a made it some summer for Charlie's father's

biger

legs

out of

horse's rubber blan-

to ware off, so 1 cannot go to church. I don't kno myself when 1 look in the glass. Bess says it is 2 bad to eat at the same table with a little culured boy. She thinks I ought to wate an eat with Betty, which Betty despises to sit at the table with a What Is It, so mamma

ket and tied the red sholl around it, it was as cute a baby elefant as yon ever saw most as good as the fili-

delfy baby.
see
it.

It was wurth 3 sents to But unkel could not hear

much

for

sevral

days,

cause

the

donky forgot he was a elefant an tore round an gammed his trunk all lets me come when there is no cum- up like a reglar bagage smasher. pany. That an the teeth together was 2 But unkel got out of temper gust much for his pashuns; he was so because I borroed his set of false rathy he made my mamma cry. teeth to make me look more like I don't kno as he would aktually one, when he was taking his nap, and gone away, only we took his best droped them in Charlie's fokes well silk dressing-gown that he got in when we were getting a drink. The Japan for Charlie to dress up as a day was very hot. I did not mean Turk with banana hnnkerchef for a
turban, an a little paint got on them went down could by aksident when we tiped the paintnot find them. They were gold, and pot over in the stable witch ruined cost lots of money, an unkel most the dressing-gown a grate pity for starved while he was having another it was a buty, all silk flowers. set. I felt offul sory for him when Charlie ought not to have been so he was eting, but he would not careless. We had a golly show, you aksept any appologies from such a bet. There were 13 boys an 3 girls bad boy. Gust as soon as he got came to it. We took in 50 cents witch another set of nickel-plated, or gum- we aregoing to give to the hethen. For elastic, or whatever they are, so he my part I don't mind unkel's going would look fit to be seen, he ordered to the hotel to bord. Betty told me
to

drop them.

It is sixty feet deep,

an' the

man

that

He Runs
was tired of him. says I have lost a for chin by
privately she
;

a Locomotive.

105
flurisb

He

I
like

opened the door with a

those waters at the hotel, an misconduck, but I don't kno as I bowed them into the parlor very need a forehin I have a good deal polite. Then I staid away like Bess an I did told me to. Only it was lonesum in of fun an plenty to eat not niene to make him augry when the sitting-room, so pretty soon I I fastened my sisters best switch slid into the parlor an went to lookto the bald spot on his head with ing thru the stereskope. " George," said my sister in a lo shumaker's wax I only wanted to see would he look like a China- voice, " retire." man, but some people cannot take "What for?" said I. "Oh, I a goke. Bess says I have ruined forgot. Never mind, they will see cost 10 $. I am your little brother, if I am a her switch, switch What for does she ware one, then ? mulato. You cannot pass me oph Girls would be more comfortable for a waiter-boy." Then they looked cirprised, an this hot weather if they dressed their
;

my

like mine. If a girl cannot my sister had to xplane how I had spend 1-2 her time fixing up for painted myself an it wouldn't come her beau she don't care to live. I oph, an they said told that telegraf felloe that Bess las "Ah, ye3; they had heard about night fore she came in the parlor me wasn't I the yung gentleman had gone up stairs to powder an who had gono up alone in a balloon, put on her bang, an tuch up her an so forth ?" ibrows that her hair was coming I spose the hull town talks about out dredful. I xpected 'she would me coz I have had a fu aksidents be almost bald how she used to happen to me. I'm a laffing stock freckel till she used lemon-glycerine. wherever I go. I hate to go clown I was just going to tell him about street, all the felloes goke me. They her being trubled with corns when don't rail me ennything now but the she came in. What Is It. I wish this paint would To-night the door-bell rang an come oph. I am going to get Betty Betty was gone to the store my to scrub me with sand. * * * It is no use sister looked through the blinds an my fun said has gone up the spout. I'm that "Oh, Georgie, it's those new ridiculed, an goked, an laffed at, I fashnuble pc-ple that I called on last cannot stand it. I think I will run week. There's a oiiul nice yung away to my Aunt Betsey's an stay man in the faraly. Betty is out. till it wears oil. It does not pay to You look gust like a little culured be a What Is It week after week. water boy. I tell you what you do Of course my aunt will not know you go to the door an show em me. I will hire out to her as a in in stile, an then you stay out of little cullurd boy to pick blackberries the room. They will not be here long." for his borde. I hope by the time

hair

io6

Bad Boys

Diary.

begins scool in Septem- gers was due, so they went. Bill that When helped me down, an told me to run ber I shall be white agane. down street the felloes over into the stashun house so as not I go Doctor Moore to get into trubble but I wanted to offer me coco-nuts. calls me the missing link. They say see how the old thing went, so I they are getting up a subskripshun gumped on when he was not looking to pay my passage to send me to but was drinking a glass of sodaDarwin they think they are offul water, an I pulled out the little smart I went to the concert, an thing he showed me to make her go, they were not going to let me sit an before I knew it she was going. with my own sister, but up in the I scremed to her to stop, but it gallery. I am disgusted. The next wasn't no use; the nasty thing only time Charlie gets up a show, he may went the faster. The enginere an be the What Is It hisself. the fireman run out you never see * * * It is coming oph in spots, how pale they looked through the and they call me the leppard. It is dirt on their faces they ran like friteful what konsequences may mad, but the locomotive beat em as hapen when you don't mean to have easy as enything. I saw the fokes them. I have alwus thought I running an waving their arms, an I should like to be a engineer if I was thought of the day I went up in the not a salor or a skowt. I like to be balloon, an I felt offul. An then I around the depo the fellows there was rite out in the country, taring are very kind to me, tho sometimes along with all these frate cars behind they teze me a good eel. They have me, an I remembered the passenger often laffed at little Georgie's mis- train would be due in five minutes, takes when they heard of them, but an I was that fritened I couldn't now they laff out of the other side of think to stop her, for I was going rite their mouth. Bill Bellows is a en- strait towards it, an I knew it was ginere on a frate trane that stops coming tords me, an I thot to myself here frekwently he is one of my " what a smash !" It was worse than of all the gratest trends, lie would take me the balloon to think I cride on his engine when he was on the people on tho other trane. I side-track wating for the passenger an sobed, but that did no good. trane an answer all my questions wished I had stade away from the very good-natured so I was on with depo like my mamma said I must. I him yesterday, an I ast him how he thought of all my bad axions, and started her, an ho showed me. how Unkel Samson looked when I " You could almost run her your- told him I had lost his teeth in the self, couldn't you, bub ?" he said well, an how vexed Bess was when and then he an the fireman they I was under the piano that moonlite reckoned they had about time to go night last week when he ast her had in the saloon on the corner and get a she ever loved before, and she said paper of tobacco before the passen- " never," an I hollered out, " O,
; ; !

He Rims
\that a

a Locomotive.

107

whopper Bess, remember you took a buggy-ride an the horse ran away ?" but all this time I was flying on like lightning till I knew I had gone six miles, coz I was coming to the next stashun
that time
I could see
it,

Everyboddy thought I would be crushed to attorns, but I only got a big bunch on my head an a black spot on my arm I was piched into a wagon loaded with cotton bales for

the mill quite providenshal.

The

an the passenger trane hull town is grumbling coz I was not standing there, an the people on the killed they say I am a dangerous platform 0, it was an offul mo- nusanse, an they wish I had a been. The engine is a total reck. 7 frate ment And then, about a minit after that, cars smashed and lots of frate dewe shot rite by like a canon going stroid. * * * I had just rote that much oph there was a dredful riping, noise, an something hit me on when Betsy steles up to tell me they taring have held a town meeting an resolved the head like it Avas mad at me. Betty has told me all about it, for to put me in jale. She says it is in I knew nothing for some hours. riting " Whereas, George Hackett is an When I came 2 I was on a bench in the depo, with the hull family around incorrigabul bad boy, and the caws Doctor Moore said I was suf- of grate loss and damidge to the town me. ring with conclusion of the brane, in menny ways, there 4 resolved that but he guessed I would get over it he be incarcerated in the county gale I was hard to kill, witch was a for 6 months so that pease an order pity. Bess told me he ot to be be restored to a aflicted community. " Resolved, that our sympathy be ashamed, which was good of her, seeing how I tretcd her, gettin xtended to his famly, but that no under the piano that time. I will mercy be shone to the culprit." never, never do it again Betty says she tells me, so as to It seems when Bill saw his trane give me a chance to eskape, as they running away he dashed into the will not come for me until morning. stashun an said to tho telegraf So farewell, my djyry, along farewell. oprator, " telegraf quick as litening I have not decided whether to go down to Hartford to switch her off," to Buflo on borde that vessel whare witch he did, for he did not know I the British stars will take me in, or was aborde, an if he had it would to stay and go to prison. It semes have made no difrence, as Bill says, hard that a little boy who never in fond as he was of me, when it was his life ment to do harm an unforchquestion of 30 or 40 lives he could init child who has met with a few not hesitate. They just barely man- aksidents should have to go to gale. aged to switch her off in time, keep- Betty has sollumly promised to ing the passenger trane there until I bring me a basket of pie an cake whizzed by an ran into the frate- every day. I suppose it will not be a bad place for the paint to ware oph house down the road.

io8

Bad Boys

Diary.

an my hair to grow. I suppose I shall is enuff. I shall never do anything have to wear striped does. Well, I Bad from this time onward. Bess is must resine myself. going to have a crokay party to-nite. P.S. It is alia hoxe. The doctor I wish I could hire somebuddy to tell got it up to friten me. They cannot her that we used up all the balls of put me in gale, but they say they both sets to make a Turkish bazar will take me up for steeling if I ever out of Charlie's picket fense the time try to run away with a frate train we had the show. agane. I never will, i such lesson

CHAPTER XXVII.
HE VISITS THE FALLS.

At

last I am a very good boy. As mama said, Lil an Lue I rents. have tole johnny's mother how soiy were out of the way, an Bess was I am he was so careless as to break engaged (telgraf oprator) so she thot his leg. I have repented in dust an she might rest on her roars she felt dashes what I did when I let the sort of worn out with her family mouse out, an those silly girls set fire cares, speshly Georgie, witch she had to the town hall, such an xpense to never fully got over that week he the tacks-payers. I could not be in- was lost in a baloon, an she thought duped to steel a ride in a baloon, not papa might take her travelling for if it was ophered to me for nothing. her health, so he suckjested Niagara No, indede I am very much re- falls, witch we all sade would be formed, even my sister Bess says she splendid. Only Bess, she up an hardly knows her little brother. The declaired they shoodn't go unless they reson is I have met with a friteful took me to. She cood not be risponaxdent witch might easily have proved sabel for what hapened if I staid at fatul only it didn't hapen to it home in my father's absence. Bess makes the tears come in my eyes is golly she knows whats what. when I think how bad my mother I gust went out an stood on my head would a felt if her only son had in the yard when they said they xpired of drowning in that dredful suposed they'd have to take me. manner. Towser come up an wagged his tale, You see, dear diry, I have been an 1 said, " Towser, keep quite an lay taking a summer trip with my pa- lo, an you shall goto," witch pleased
;
! ;

He
We

Visits the Falls.

109

dog left worth stoping the litening xpress for, only a peace of rope and 1 ear. I was sory for Towser, who was a very faithful dog. I thought he would enjoy the trip. If I snored like some people do, when it come in like a stroke, mr in ma I would never travel. Papa says she began to stir an worry like women it is an imposishion to pay three dollars for a secktion in a sleepingwill. " Georgie, Georgie, you'll be left car and then not be able to sleep. dere If This person was in the upper berth, Where is that boy ? this is the way you're going to akt, next to mine, so I tride to stop him, Don't that my poor mamma might get I wish we had not come. you never wait till the cars is in some slepe. I reached around, an' motion agane before you get on stuck a pin in his arm up to the head and then I laid down so board, my son." " It's all right, mamma," replide I, quick and fell asleep so hard, when when we had tooken our seats an he bounced out in the isle he didn't " Porter was fixed comforable, and had gone know what hurt him. " I only stopped to tie porter !" he yelled, " somebody's ben a few miles.
!

him very much. started the next evening, after dark, to go through in the night. Towser an Bess, her bow, an some others went to the deppo to see us oph. It was a litening xpress that stopped to water, so

Towser to the axl of the hind car trying to rob an' murder me." "Nonhe wanted to come along offal Dad." sense," said the porter, " you've had

she lened back, looking kind of the nightmare." " 'Cause he's snored an began to screme, " Stop the himself horse," said a felloe on the trane! stop the trane." "Such a other side. At that sevrul stuck hubbub!" "What is it?" "Whose their heads out an' laffed, an' he hurt?" "Pull the bell-rope!" "We're climed back agane an' lade quite for " There's ben a coli- a nour or so. run into !" shun !" The women hollered, the I was offal thursty like I always men turned pail, sevrul of them am when I travel, so gust as all was pulled the rope, the trane sloed up, quite, I had to call out, "Porter, the conductor rushed thro. please bring me a drink of water." " Who stopped this train ? What's He brung me one, but I continued up?" thursty. I did not like to disturb " My son has tide our dog to the the people agane calling the porter, " O, save so I gust sliped out very soft an' went last car," gasped mamma. him, we have had him years, and an' helped myself. Then I came back very still, an' crep' in bed like a love him derely." That impertnant conductor looked mouse, when there came such a sucksession of screeches right in my ear at me like he wanted to ete me. " I wish it was the boy was tide to I was fritened out of my senses, an' but he had I was pushed out and fell down in the axl," he muttard his trubble for nothing, there was no the ile like a thousand of brick.

Then
sick,

no
Every blessed
their heads out.

A
sole in the

Bad

Boy's Diary.

car had cittys, they would prove very inporter picked structive to little boys, shoing the me up an' shook me like he mistook works of Nature to the best advanme for a dusty coat, an' a woman tidge. But the hackmen are exorbiwho had her false teeth under her tant. Pa says their charges are pillow, an' was bald-headed, sobbed more astonishing than the Falls. and cride, and said she thought I He need not take the hackmen

The

was a man.

my

berth.

slepe

It semes I had mistaken But everybody got to agane after a time, an' all was

along.

it gru very rong the w ay men sware when they are mad the The men in our ladies do not do it

peace an' sweet dreams until

daylite.
It
is

There was a frenchmen going to on a rope the day I got there. Mamma said he must be mad, but he did not seem to be he was good-natured enuff when I saw him. She would not go, and she begged papa
cross over
;

pallis

sleeping-car

said

ofTul

bad not

to lose sight of

words when they went to dress

their- stance

me

no,

not one

one single
if

in-

she would

selfs that morning, gust for nothing let me go to see the frenchman walk only the poor porter had mixed their the rope. He promised he would no- hold on to me like wax, so she let us shoes lip in a perfeck muddle budy had his own or 2 alike. The go, while she lade down and took a porter said they were all right after nap, on akcount of being disturbed he blacked 'em, witch made some of at night on the sleping-car. It was them look savidge at poor Georgie, golly fun, very exciting indede, to who was dressing his self, as meek as see him go oyer in a basket go over Mary's little lam but, as the books in his stocking feet with the British say, alas there is a grate deal of an American flags so at last he said ingustice in this world. who wood like to take a nice little I regret that Towser did not live trip over in a wheelbarrow? He to see the Falls. Words fale me. would agree to take a person safely

They
miles.

are extraordinarily

immense

in

size an' their roar

can be heard for do

There is a rainbow an' sevrul objecks of intrest in the visinity. There are 4 sides to the falls the outside, the inside (where you go under), the Canady side, and the American side. There is a picture of them in the gography, but it. falos to convay an idea of the thundering noise they kepe up night an' day. I think if Mister Barnum could take days. Just think! the only little them abroad like he did Tom Thumb, boy that ever rode acrcss the rapids !" an' exhibit them in all the grate in a wheelbarrow

pay him $500 if he failed to and they got killed. I thot it would be nice to go over safe, or to get the money, if I didn't. Papa was bizzy talking with a man he didn't expect to meet at the falls. I saw he did not notis, an I sliped quitely away up to the performer an whispered to him I was reddy to go. " Sonny," said he, "youw on'tbo sorry, for you will be famous all your
over, or
it,
r

He
So I got
in,
little flags

Visits the Falls.

I

in

my ape can relate such an experiance. The Falls are grate very grate -immense but J do not out of her sight agane a single minnit care to visit them agane, espeshly while we were at Niagara. It was a without a life-preserver. On the 2d narro escape it made her shudder. day, when the fish came on for dinaer, The next day we bought a pin- it reminded me it would be fun to quishon for Bess from the skwas, an fish in the river, so I lay lo until a bow an arro for me, and we went mamma took me to her room an' told
boys of

and he gave me two an he said " Shut your eyes tile, or you will get dizzy; trust all to me your gust as safe as if you were in a feather-bed at home." But that nasty plice offiser come along and gerked me out, an asked where my parents were he was going to have them arrested for Cruelty to Children; an papa come running an wanted to whip the frenchman. So I lost my ride. It was too bad. Mamma said she would not trust me
to hold,
: ;

almost cride myself such a little crechur, fawn -color, with a curly tail an' a funny black nose but I satisfide myself that the water went about a mile a second. Sackrifices have to be made in the course of science, my teacher says.

cunning
;

But it is time, my diry, that I tole you about my own hairbreath escape. I have been in dedly peril. It makes my blood run cold to think of it. Fu

on Goat Island, but I saw no goats. not beleve how fast the water goes by. You throw in peaces of grass an paper, then you will see. There was a lady there, dressed up to fits, she carried a pug dog with a pink ribon, offal cute, an she let me talk to him an hold him a little while to rest her arms. I don't know how on earth it happened, but gust when she was looking at something mamma

You wood

I had got to read while she took her sighester, witch she does evry afternoon. Pretty soon she was aslepe. I looked out the Avindo the sky was I longed blue, the sun was bright. to be oph. I erauled out on to the roof of the piaza, sliped down a pillar,

me

pointed out to her, Nellie (that's the png) fell into the water. I gust saw

a pinkbow.about half a second, then I saw no more. You wood have sposed it was a baby the way that woman went on If papa had not held her tite, I do beleve she would have the boat.
I

bought some tackle in a little store I across the street, an' run away. took a long walk up the river where the water fioed very quiet and slo. There I sat down an' fished. I did not each anything, so I went on up a considerabul ways higher, till I came to a mill, where there t,s a small boat tide up to a little dock; No one was looking, so I borrocd
I
if

gumped
went

When I had and had to be the Canady side. pulled out a short distance the mistaken to the hotel. " You careless boy," said mamma, chef got into the plagy boat it " that's the second since we left home." whirled around, something pulled the
:

in after her. into histeriks,

As it

was, she an' see

there

thought Ide row across were more fish on

112
oars

Bad Boys

Diary.

out of my hands just as if as if he was a sho. man shouted they had reached up a pair of hands to him to hold on that did lots of and gerked them away. I began good. The sun was setting, he
;

thought thought how terribul it would be to but I go over in the dark he beleved he intrest could see his dear mother waving calku- her arms and throing kisse3 to him; begun o how he wished he had always taken to wonder how little boys felt when her advice how sad it would be to they got drownded going overNiagra never see Lil's baby any more. He Falls. wished he had not tride to shoot it I felt sick to my stummik, and out of a canon. Such were some of wished I was back in mamma's the poor child's refleckshuns. room reading quietly like a good I don't eggsaekly know how it boy. * * * was done, but little Georgie was I see by the daily pnpers they had saved. The frenchman did it. quite an exciting time at the Falls They shot a rope across the river that day. Some men saw a small and made it fast, both sides then boy in a small boat taking a solitary the frenchman come out on it, hand ride down the rapids they ran an' over hand, right over the boat, an he shouted, but it did not do a mite of sliped a nose over Georgie an told good. Other folks saw the boat an' him to fix it under his arms an kepe shouted an' run, but that did no more cool then he drew him up an tole good. The bravest man in the him to shut his eyes an keep still world could not help that little boy. heed do the rest and he did it. On an' on he went. Oh, it was Such hurrahing Such a scene horribul, horribul Ho held cut an shouting, an mamma lmsrgin;' his poor little arms to the peple on the akrobat like he was her long-lost shore. lie shut his eyes an' said brother, an fainting ded away, an his prayers; he promised ho would the peple bringing her an me into the honor his father an' mother, an' mind hotel. Papa gave him a check for his sister, an' kepe out of skrapes, an' 500$ on the spot, an said he was a become a modul boy. I guess Pro- brick but papa tole me privatly he vidence heard little Georgie, an' con- thought it cost more to raise me than cluded to give him one more chance, I was worth he had read that it If all bad boys died early there cost 5000$ to bring up aordinary boy, would be none left to grow up and but I had cost him five times that become Presidents of the United already, besides what it had been to States. Little Georgio's boat ran on other folks, an the bridge I bio wed a t-harp rock and stuck there. It up an the town hall. Etade there quite a while. I don't think he ought to have The peple, hundreds of them, scolded me the very night of my flood on the shore an stared at him myiaekuliis escape, but that's the way
to

go down stream so

fast I

of pug an' her pink ribbon, did not seme to take the same in sience this time I forgot to late how swift I was going, an'
:

He

Takes Part in the Election.

H3

with ungrateful parents. Mamma So, now, Bess has made ms promis Lad sevrul fainting fits that night; to reform, and I hav thurroly. the doctor said the shock mite have And as you, my dere diry, are now killed her j she would not get over full, I will bid you a long farewell it in a long time. Of course I should until I get another. not have taken the boat had I not " My pen is poor, my ink is pale, wanted to do a little inocent fishing, My love for. you will never fale." to cirprise my father with some fish he is very fond of them, an the Little Geougie. water looked so smooth and still. The worst of it is I lost my new N.B. Polks are offully xcited gack-knife it will never be found, about the eleckshuns. Papa is oue for I dropped it where the water goes of the counters, and me au Johuuy offul swift. have made up a plan to hav soma

We

came home

as

kwick

as

we

could the following day, an mamma It was foolish for is now lade up. her to be so shocked before she knew if I could be rescued. It seemed to be quite easy for the frenchman to rescue me tho, of course, if the boat had not cot on a rock that would have been the last of little Georgie.
;

I wont tell wat it is until it fun. comes oph. Weve got a tar barl an a lot of matches out behind the barn. Mebbe, if we can't have a barbecue we'll roast Mooly's calf, but don't you let oa. We want to cirprise our

fanilys.

CHAPTER
HE TAKES TAUT
I don't
little

XXVIII.

IN THE ELECTION.

know

than Georgie, an' can kepe out of yung for me, an' Lizzie says she mischif. I cannot cut oph her hair, wunders I will go with a little boy because it is olreddy cut oph. So She aperes to of his age I o to go with older boys. we are grate frends. She is nearly 'leven, han'some as a be very fond of me, an' I am offul She has a way of warpicture, such grate black eyes, such fond of her. 1 asked stile! She is bang tip, I tell you. ing her bang that is killing.

Johnny

as I shall sosheate with he is too after this

;

mamma

says

is all rite

she

is

older

She

is visiting

to our house, witch

Betty

last

night,

conlidenshal,

what

H4

Bad

Boy's Diary.

made my heart go so quick when coming eleckshun I have little time Lizzie come in the room, an' she to stay in love. It was pleasant while laffed an' luffed like it was a very it lasted.
funny question to ask an then she "Don't you know, Georgie," an' I said, " No," an' she said, "Why, you little goose, you are in love ;" but she promised she would not tell 'cause I never told when she gave her young man cake in the kitchen. So it is a secret between me an' Betty till I get
said:

There is grate excitement in our town. You would hardly know it all the fhigs Hying, an' bands are playing, an'torchlite processhuns, an' speches in the new hall. It is my idea, there is so much fuss about it, that one or the uther candydats wili be eleckted sure, perhaps both. I It wood be too bad a chance to explane matters to Lizzie hope they will. who is going to stay a cuppel of to spend so much money for nothing. weeks, witch gives me time. Doctor My father says it is well for our boys Moore gave me 50 cents to hold his to begin to understand polly tics when that the fuchur dehorse when the man was sick, an' I they are yung

went round with him it run away and smashed the sulky some, an' he had to sell the horse, but I was not much hurt, so I did not give him back the 50 cents. I bot a beautiful bokay with the money, and give it to Lizzie. I watched her to see if she would blush, a sine, Betty said, she returned my love. She did not
;

am afraid it is because I look so funny with a long strip of sticking-plaster acrost my nose wdiere the skin was barked when the horse
blush, an' I

ran away, but wot is a girl's love wurth if she cannot like a fello gust as well with a peace of sticking-

plaster ? The way she lafFs when she looks at me hurts my feelings the president will get eleckted after depely. I am sorry I squawndered all. the 50 cents on 1 so hartless. There My sister Bess an sevrul other of is a boy across the way wdio is almost our fashnubble young ladies took up
:

pends on yung America. I agre with him. I have did my best to help along the good cause. Papa says if evry 1 had done as much as little Georgie, there w ood be no country left to save. This is high prase but I deserve it. I have not been idle a single evening of the champagne. I have have marched yelled myself hoarse in the crowd, have fired oph the cannon on the square, have fot every boy of my sise or smaller in the uaborhood, have helped the men lug To be sure stuff to make bonfires. I have made a fu mistakes, an met with some acksidents but I guess
r
;

grone up

he is twelve, an' has a a subskripshun to get a first-class freckeled face an' a new blue suite, banner for the Volunteer Bonton's, quite nobby, so I am cutout. Well, what wr ere going to parade in the go. I shall be stujusly torchlite proceshim. It was 12 feet let her Besides, my long, made of silk, with their name on pelite to her no more. uiud is now so taken up with the to it in butiful embroidered letters

He

Takes Part in the Election.

115
;

witch the ladies worked a splendid looked magninscent the music was flagyoubet! The proceshun came oph butiful, only the big drum was out last night. The Volunteer Bon- of tune some notty boy had made tons met in the hall in the afternoon a hole in it an put a kupple of cats to receve the banner from the fare in the cats were good, but the drum hands of our hansomest girls. Little was spoild. lie never try that on Georgie was the hero of the occashun. aojane. He was put up on a platform, where Rite behind the Volunteers came the ladies were all dressed up to a squadroon of little fellors on horsepints, to make a speech, and hold the back, with sashes an torches, quite a banner till the cap tin came up an pritte sight. They would have been made his speech an took it from the a compleet suckcesa, only I was so hands of the brave little feller (that's unforchunate as to get my torch too myself) witch made some of the close to the new silk flag, which wa3 ladies weep, they were so affected being prowdly carried by the Volunwhen I took out my hankercher witch teers. I had a curyosity to discover hapened to be full of snuff, so that if silk would burn. I was cirprised the captin, every time lie began to find it would. In about 2 seckunds about the American neagle, would it was in a fereful blaze, an in about call it the grate American chin-eagle, 2 more, that banner, where was it ? or chuggle, or ker-chuggle, or some I almost cride, after Bess an all the such nonsense, gust as if there was rest had tooken such trubble. any bird knone as the ker-choo-chooIt was a damper on the whole gle, till everybody luffed an clapped affare. I had to take to my heels, an scremed so you couldn't here a or rather to my pony's heels, co3 word, an the poor offisir was as red they thretened if they cot me they as fire an his ise full of tears so he would put me in the tar-barrel they couldn't see the flag staff witch I was were going to make a bonfire with. wating for him to grab hold of, but I tell you, my diry, I lade lo the seesed my sister's silk umbrel an re- rest of the evening. I said to tired with that. The people did not Johnny " Who cares, les have a show of kno about the snuff they thought he had taken the episooty sudden. our own." They gave him three cheers, witch o He said, " Agrede." to made him happy an not say he I said, " You boost me, Johnny, would ring little Georgie's neck when an He get in the back windo of the he cot him outside. Town Hall its open theres a lot The grate torchlite proceshun came of fireworks thare for the grand He get a oph to order. It was a fine affare celebrashun next week. ." bout 2 miles long or more, cause it fir He boosted me, an I climed in went round the block so there was no end to it. There were sevral without much dificulty an handed hundred people in it, the torches out 3 duzzen large size rockits, about

n6

Bad

Boy's Diary.

a hundred Romain candels, .1 lot of barn an I will sho you something, cathrine wheels an serpents, every- Johnny." thing I thot we could manage. Then This was about 4 o'clock. About we borroed the ganitor's wheelbarro six my mamma saw something brite

an took them over to the depo, a big shining before she lit the lamps. boy helped us an we had a lovely Everything was all red an as lite as time. The hull town left the bon-fire day. She ran to the windo an to see wot wos goin on by the depo, scremed "0 Bess, Bess, the stable is on only something we didn't know how to manage bursted up an hurt sevral fire!" peopel. I was blone up, but I came But she was mistaken. It was down on top of a frate-car, witch only a big fire behind it witch me shook me up a little, my nose bled, and Johnny had made to have our there is a bump en the back of my own privat barbecue. head an a little powder in my face It is true the corner of the cowwitch makes Lizzie laff at me more shed had got in a blaze, but the than ever, but I am safe an Johnny nabors put that out. " The cow is safe," said Bess, an I are going to have some fun tomorro or next day. "but o dear, where is the cunning My father has gone to a naboring little calf?" villedge to hear some grate speker in "What's that?" cried mamma, " Georgie, you notty, the open air. He said the folks were turning pale. going to have a barbecue to finish up good-for-nothing, cruel boy, tell me the fun. O you wicked boy " I asked him what was a this minnit " It's only me and Johnny having barbecue. He said it was rostino; an ox hull with plenty of hard cider an a barbecue," I answered. uther good things to be et an drunk "A what?" she cride.

golly.

"A barbecue, mamma. If big folks make it more I wanted to go along, but he roste an ox I should think little ones said he would not take such a looking mite roste a teenty weenty calf. boy besides I had been very bad Its most done now wont you all We're got a last night, he wood leave me behind stay an have a piece ?
out of doors so as to

punishment. I felt very lonesome, so I whistled for Jonny to clime over the fence when his mother was not looking. I said "Johnny, if we had a nox we could have a barbecue all to ourselfs " wouldn't that be fun ? He said it would be offul fun only we had no ox. So then I said " There is more ways than one to ekin a cat -come out behind the
for a
: :

lot of cider, too,

lar.

Were

out of Johnny's sclgoing to do it up in reg-

lar stile."

" Did you roste the poor thing alive?" shrieked my sister. " no, Bess, don't you see we rosted it dead ?" Its strange how little some girls

Why

know.

It

was

mamma

to

make such
little

miserable

unreasonable for a fuss about a Johnny7 waa calf.

He
sent

Mixes

in Politics.

117

home, an' we neither of us got ;aid he'd been sent some and tole to a taste of our barbecue ; but papa place it where it would do the most could stuff down all ho wanted, I good. I spose the calf and the cider dare say. The older I grow the more must go in the eleckshun expenses.
injustice I see.

N.B. Johnny told me in a whisper this morning he forgot to turn the fasset back, he was in such a hurry for fear the cook would catch him, sa the hull barl of cider run away. Well, there's one consolashun. I herd papa say it cost a grate deal of money to eleckt a president, lie

All I regret is they were not placed where they wood do the most good, cause me an Johnny were not al-

lowed

to eat

and drink em.

We

ex-

pect to have a lot of fun next week. Thai freckle-face boy has walked past the house 3 times this morning.
If

rode

Towser was not killed on the railI would set him on him.

CHAPTER XXIX.
HE MIXES IN TOLITICS.

Dear

into the cistern

you know Lizzie fell "O, O, O, she'l be drownded yesterday? Such a poor Lib." So then they came and holring an screming all over the house saw the dummy in the cistern, and
diry, did

an people running to get her out fore

drownded, an Johnny's father's hired man coming over in a hurry with a ladder, you never see He put the ladder down an fished her out and brung her up, an Bess she cot hold of her, an mamma was a screming to Betty an Cook to warm some blankets, cause she was so dripmg wet, an took the poor child away from Bess and, after all, they found they nede knot have been in such a hurry it was not Lizzie after all, but a f;ilse girl I made an thru in, I got Lizzie to lie lo behind the woodshed wile I throwed it in an yelled
she
!

was

began to make the o'fflust fuss. It real unjust of papa to send me to my room without my supper,

was

gust cause folks don't

girl

know
I

a false

never said she was in the cistern I only said

see her.

when they

left

Lib, O! O !" So somebody the lid up and the cat fell in, but I was mad an' did not say a word, so now to-day there is a grate surch what has become of for the cat

"Poor

her ? I shall not truble to explane they will know soon enuff when the water is scented with her remanes. I wish it was that sneek acrost the
;

way who tumbled

in

and spoiled his

u8

Bad Boys

Diary.
I
it

new bine sute. Bess was expecting a few freiids to spend the evening, and iu the frite her angel-cake got burned up in the noven, so she had it to come up to my room las night was Betty's night out, an she dasn't ask cook to see would I go down strete to the confekshunners an buy a pound of macroons and three kw.'irts of iskream, choclate an vanily mixed. You better beleve I said I would. It was much better going down strete to buy iskream than to stay in my room in a starving condishon, an hear the uther boys hoop as they run to the bonfire on the square. She gave me 2% to pay for the refreshments, an I set out. " Now, Georgie, don't you be gone one bit over fifteen minits the cream will melt like anything; you come rite back as kwick as your legs will carry you, don't stop by the that's a good boy way; we're all waiting for our cream remember what perishable stuff iskream is ; the evening is warm, will you hurry with all your mite, Georgie dear 1" Sisters can be so offul swete when they want there little brothers to do anything for them. I ran all the weigh, an you bet I huried them up bout tying up the macroons an dishing that iskream in a pitcher so I could run home but very kwick as Bess told me when I got home such a me.~s that pitcher had about a pint of sloppy yellow stuff in it, an a little pup dog had et up all the cakes and even chued up the paper, but I didn't
; ; ;
; ;
!

spose

stood
srink.

to near
It

the bonfire
beautiful

made
blaze,

was a
barcls
.

a old kerosene blue hogshcd. Johnny an me an a lot of boys piled on the stuff
as fast as

sevral

tar

an

we

could.

It lasted
it

moren
ouk,

a nour.

Wo

stade to see
!

an
is

such a hubbub
that Bessf-s
in

My

only regret
If I

company was
it

disapo.nted

their

refreshments.

had

was going to be I mite have saved the 2% an bought a lot of rockets. The yung gcntlemun laffed and said, " 0, if Georgie has had a good time at the bonfire never mind the iskream, Miss Hackett." But Bess most cride. So Mande Robinson said she would stay all night to
our house she is Besses most intimate frend since Sue marrid the
doctor

known how

an

the weigh those girls sat

up after the rest of the company went away I should think they would bo so sleepy they would want to take a nap this afternoon. There is a wood
fire

in the grate, cause the evenings

are chilly.
the rug.
frizzes

They

sat

rite

down on

oph their and let down their hair, an kiked oph their slippers an made theirselves comforable an then they begun to talk about the felloes. My how their tungs did run on, an Bess
First they took
;

Mande should be first bridesmade, an then she sort of spoke lo, an said she, "Now, Mande, tell me true I know you are ded in love with him you nedent be afrade to An Mande tell me I'll never tell." she began to cry an sob an say, " mind the paper so much. It is very Bess, he dosent care a straw for me, very grou hound he strange how things will srink and an I love the I treds on. Yes I do. I thin hink srink up all like that iskream.
said
;

He
Tie's

Mixes
But
don't

in Politics.
it is

119
I

of of off ul

sweet.

going to the dogs.

dogs.
to

askd him

you ever brethe a word to a living hole. No, indede it would kill so me to have Char har lie Green dreme how I love him." It's a wunder I didn't pull the curtin down an betra my hiding plaice but I

what
going

He

said

pieces.

he meant it was thought he I

like
it

meant an erthquake,

says in

my

gcografy, but when I asked him fug, I mean its again he said, " going to fall thru." I wanted to

kep very still, for I knu well miff know where it wood fall to would Bess wood pull my hair friteful if I it fall thru on to China an squash let on, so I fell aslope, an when I their pig tails, cos I heard a speker waked up they were gone, an then I say the Chinese must go, an I slid up too. thought papa was afraid America This morning I was going round was going to drop rite down on the long way to school to see what China. He said I was a goose, was up, and gaze on the ruins of the not old enuff to understand the bonfire by daylite, when I saw a Chinese kwestion. But there semes large groop of men about the town to be plenty of fun in politix, hall, on the steps an sidewalk talking such transparencies, such lanterns about a parade an anuther torchlite an flags an meetings an stump processhun. Then I saw Charlie speeches an torchlite proceshuns an I Green, with a lot of other yung men bonfires it kepes a person busy. who belong to the Volunteers, els I do not have half the time to ackwire wood not have thought about what nolledge that I o to have; my the girls said. Its lucky I saw him, techcr says I must come to school I for now it is all rite. I said, " Hollo, regular or I will be a dunce. Mr. Green " he said, "hollo Georgie, must try an go more regular, because how's that iskreme this morning." if I do not he is goine round to Then I told him all how those girls speke to my father. sat up comming their hair an tawkI did try to go to school regular ing about him, and what Mande yesterday, but I had a terribul sore said, an showed him how she cride throte an headache, so I could not eat the other fellows smiled, but Charlie my breakfast; mamma was fritened She got as mad as ever you saw, an said, she thought it was diptheria. "hush, George, you are a rude boy gave me some medicine an said she to tell things you overhurd." I said, would send for Doctor Moore if I " I thought you would like to know did not get better but I got pretty it, so's to go an see her an tell her well about half past nine, so Betsy not to cry any more," so I xpect he gave me 10 or 12 buckwhete cakes she had saved for me, an I sliped out will call on her to nite. I It seems to me my father does not the back gate to go to school. think or talk of anything but politix thought I would go around by the He seems very much depo to see the Volunteers board the these days. They were to start for Bluetrubbled about the country. He says train.

120
ville at half

Bad Boys

Diary.
an I wanted
I

celebrjishnn.

past 10 to goin the big money, Blueville is about 16 dinner.

to

urn

my

miles from here.

to be a grate time.

There was going Blueville is by

the see.

cider, a tent,

Bob

clam bake, chowder, Ingersell, a crowd,

hapened, but I got rolling the barrel of biskit an the pesky thing rolled rite slap into the wotter, an went out to see about 20 rods just as if it had set sale for Europe then it swoshed back an a man waded in, but it bobbed up and down so it was a long time before he cot it he ought to take a fish-hook, I think somewhere els, but he saw mc after but he got it, but they were soked The salt a while an asked me where was my through with se-wotter. ticket. Then I told him how I got an' pepper were in there to, but forcrowded on, when I was just going chunately it did not bust the pork. to school, an some of the bon tons They had to make the chowder with" O it's Georgie, we'll go out any bisket or pepper. It put me said, I spose ho wants to come in mind of the story in my reader his bale. along to burn up our ruthcr ban- about the poor man's dinner. So So the conduckter said, " O the men thought I had better stay ner." things were ready. Me it's Georgie Ilackett, is it," an laffed away till an passed on, an in a little while we an another boy took a stroll along got there an I got off with the rest. the beech, an we come to a dead We had a reglar 4 of July time. It animal which looked very much like was a little cool on the beech, but a jackass. It had washed ashore. I two enormus fires kept us about rite had read and herd a good eel in one to make chowder, the other to politix about boiled mule, so I There was about thought this would do as well. So roste the clams. I told the other boy to look sharp 1. 000 more peopel besides our party. The band played, sevral gentlemen when they had put the clani3 to made speches, an then we sung roste, an we rapped it up in seeweed and fired oph the an waited till the men had gone to a fu songs I did not listen to the get a drink of cider an then we cannon. speches, being very busy helping dracrued it alone; with all our mite make a large iron kittle full of an plumped it on top the clams an chowder an get a big pile of stones put on more seeweed so they could I had no have all the boiled mule they wanted hot to roste the clams.
;

of a canon, fireworks, a brass band course when I got to the depo in the crowd an the train came in I couldn't help getting pushed rite up the steps The crowd into one of the cars. was so dense it utterly prevented my Before I knew it going to school. there I was, gammed in the isle, the train in moshun, not a cent in my pocket to p;iy my fare. Every time the conduckter went thru I went

got a lot of seaweed tc put round the clams to roste. There were barrels an barrels of them, an one barrel of big sea biskit to put in the chowder, with a lot ol onyons, potatoes, pork, and salt and pepper. I cannot tell just how it

He

Mixes

in Politics.

121

only this
it

was rested but I guess was sick when it died, or had been kep too long, or something. When they took oph the seeweed to ete their clams well, its perfectly oflle to have more than iooo hungry peopel mad at you, when you only wanted to give them a rare treat but one man luffed and said he was glad it was defunked at last. I am afrade they had little to eat but cider, until they telgrafed to the city and had some cold vittles sent out. But the celebrashun was golly; the band played, and about dark a large load of sandwitches an things arrived, and after we had eaten them we were going to have some magnifi-

took me by the sholder an asked me did I do it? He was going to give me to a policeman but one of our Volunteers come up an took me away it was Charlie Green, that

Mande is ded in love with so he put me on a trane and pade my fare, an told me to be sure an get oph at " I must not stay the rite station. any later, our folks would be fritened about me, and it was dangerous for
;

me

to

remane

in the

made myself

so

were in favor wanted to give me a notion bath for my helth, some proposed to make me ete a peice of roste mule, I had better go home," Charlie said. So
I

had some of linch law, some

crowd

obnoxshus,

sent fireworks, only the car took (ire

in

w ent.
7

which they were stored an they That is, I started all rite, but I all went oph together, witch was was tired out, and fell aslepe in the kwite too bad, for they did not last car and when I woke up it was over 3 minnits all told, an you could midnite deep dark midnite, an the not see the set pieces to any advan- conducktor said " Sony, wake up we tage. Where It was lucky the crowd was are almost in Philadelphia. the other side the depo, or some one are you going 1" mite have got blowd up. A fellow:

122

Bad

Boy's Diary.

CHAPTER XXX.
HE
IS

DISCOURAGED.

friend in that grate city Not Midnite on a penny in my pockkit the deep O, what a fraud are all our xpectashuns. I thought of all the little boys Id ever read of that got lost. I said to myself it was in this very city poor Charlie Ross was I think I must have had the stole. histericks, for I burst into teres an sobbed as if my heart wood brake. I am genraly ashamed to shed teres, they look so like I was a baby or a female, but I was dredful homesick an just a teeny weeny bit afrade something mite happen, my poor mamma would never 3&2 her darling lady herd me sob an child agano. " Poor little lened forward an said boy, is there anything the matter, have you got the stummikake? Here are some pepcrmint drops, take a fu." Then I tole her about the clam bake how I got pushed on the cars on my way to school, and was put on the
! !
!

Not a

was not married but I did not ask her was she married only wanted to know had she any boys or girls for me to play with. I guess she was sick, for there was a carriage waiting when wc arrived, an the coachman touched his hat very
said no, she
;

respectful, but he looked at

me

all

train to come home an fell aslepe, an seckonds. My legs aked dredful, went past our town like a streke an but I was 2 tired to mind that. never know it, an I had no money, an When I waked up it was broad daymy mamma would be so fritened lite a neat servant girl, like Betty, about me. She was very kind. She said to me: "There is the bathsaid I might go home with her an room. Missus says you had better stay that night, an in the morning take a bath. I have fixed the water we would telgraf to my father to in the tub gust rite so get up, plese, come an get me. I thanked her very an try it. Missus says plese dont politely, gus as I ought, an asked medal with the fassets. In \ a nour her had sheany little boys for me to brekfast will be reddy. When you She are dressed come down stairs to the play with till my father came.
;

over mity curious, as if I was the baby elfant or something like it. " Mical, this Then the lady says poor child is strayed or stolen, we must take care of him to-night, an telgraf to his frends urly in the morning." " Hes a nice sweet lookin little chap,'' says Mical, " I ope he aint been an run away, like some of em does." "I will answer for him," said the lady. You bet her house was golly. O, lots handsomer than She put me in a nice soft bed ours. in a small room next to her oan, an left the door open so I would not feel strange. I fell aslepe in about 5
:

He
parlor."

is

Discouraged.

123

had a splendid bath, only water I had to guuip out before long could not turn it back, the more I tride the worse it came, so by the time I had my close on, so I could go out an call the made, it run over
I the tub got so lull of hot

ought not to have gone out, speout the window I had made a scrach on her new paper an burglars mite have come in before it was shut agaue. I beged her to excuse
I

cially

me

that once.

did not
to

mene

to get

lost,
little

but

wanted

speak to the

the lloor considerable.

I

Forchunitly found her goirg through the hall or the cealing would a been ruined the girl said it had gust been freskode. I am afrade it made her some trubbel wiping up so much water.

girl next door. She said she would that time did I not want some brekfast ? She led me in the dining-room an sat down by the table

went down to the parlor;

the

lady was not there yet, so I looked There was a out of the windo' very pretty little girl playing on the

opened the windo' an climed out an jumped down. She

side-walk.
said

"

O my
a
I told

!"

""Who are you,

Ward had
house."

little

Then she said did not know Miss boy stopping to her
;

her how it happened. She was very sorry for me but she said if I was going to a celebrashun an get lost an everything, I ought to have put on my other suit, an not worn my school close. "We played a spell an then she had to go to scool. I walked along with her a peace until she said I had better go back or I would get lost she pointed out how I was to go back, but I tried an tried and tried and could not find the
;

house.
I

was dredfully hungry. I think all the I rang about 200 door bells rong ones. The knawings of hunger began to be terribul. Just then to my grate joy I saw her standing at a window. A man opened the door an let me in. She shook her head an said she was afrade I was inee^lgeable There were two bird cages and ths

while the waiter waited on mi. I told her a good eel about myself. She wrote down my father's name an mine. I told her about Lil an the baby how I was going to shoot it an my oph, an Bess an her bow baloon experance last July, an mamma's an my trip to the Falls, an sevrul other things, and how I kept Sometimes she laffed and a diry. sometimes she held up her hands in But that fool waiter, he horror. dodged into the pantry and bust the buttons oph his vest, gigling behind So I loved them snaps. the door. she said, when I had done eting, " George, I'm going round to the Continental now to telgraf your peoI leave ple to come on an get you. you in Peter's my man's care ; I trust you will be a good boy until I get Here is a nice book to read back. you can remane here in the diningroom and read it until my return. I shall be home in less than a nour.'" She patted me on the head an give me the book an went out. Peter, he clered up the table, an then he went in the pantry to polish up the silver an wash the glasses. It was a plesant room. The sun shone in.

124

Bad Boys

Diary.

Miss Ward's birds sang gaily. speshal pet, a large sleke tortoys-shell cat lay on a quishon on the rug before While I a small fire in the grate. was reding I watched her wink in a knowing way at the canaries. The book was rather stupid ; I thought I would prefur to see what the cat

She sat down and took the dead bird and cried over it till I felt like I wanted to sink through the floor.

"You have broke my heart, George, am sorry I brought you here with me last night. My poor Dick was
I

would

do. I just reched up an opened the door of one of the cages an then I read some more an watched the cat

wink. In about a minnit a bird got out and flue around, having a good time. I think it is cruel to kepe birds shut up in cages so they cannot exercise. I read some more with i eye on the cat, an suddenly she gave a spring, when I just thought she was going to sleep. The canaries

the notty boys in crisscuI began to cry too, an told her how many times I wished I was dead or living on a dessert ilanu, so 1 would not get my kind frends into so many skrapes that I tried to be a very good boy, but was always in hot water till I was ashamed to be seen on the strete then she said
all

worth dum."

Then

she
so I

wood

try to forgive

me this

time

asked her why didn't she have a few boys herself an get used to them about the house. She said in the cage began to make a funny she was very glad she had none noise. Peter, he come in, but it was she was going to leave her money I asked her was that nasty grate big lazy to the hethen. too late tortoys-shell cat had killed that poor she an old made? An she laffed little incent bird its feathers were a little an said sum rude people " Missus will give it to called her so. flying about. I asked her didn't you now, young man," said Peter, " it the fellows come to see her, but some was the finest singer of the lot. lc will ladies called gust then an she had to " I wont be away berake her heart, she was that fond of go in the parlor. little Dick." Gust then I herd the long George, here's some paper and hall door open. I turned red an a pencil would ruther you would pail. I tell you I wished I was at draw on the paper than on my Miss Ward came in, all windows with your wet fingers. Try home. smiles. " I've had an anser, George," an pass the time as pashuntly as you she said, " your father will be here can, we will have lunch when the on the 5 o'clock train," an then her ladies go away dont touch the eyes fell on the poor dead bird which cages again, that's a good boy." table. Peter hnd placed on the I drew the paper all over in a " Who did it ?" she angrily asked. short time, an I looked at the cat " Ime dredfnl, dredful sorry, Miss an-I notised how much her b'ick was Ward, I am indede. I thought little like a map of the world, the spots Dick would like to fly about awhile. were the continents an' islands, the The cat white places were the oshuns. Thinks I cannot, cannot, tell a lie. I, they ought to be hamed. did it nasty old thing." I heted

He
the
lines

is

Discouraged.

125

poker very hot, to draw the of longitude and latitude on her, and make it more nacheral, but I had only drawn about 2 lines, when she began to spit and yowl, an' Peter same out of the pantry to see what it was smelt so, an' that cat wouldn't hold still, but gumped right up on the sideborde an' nocked oph a blue china jug that had been in the family
for sevral

coming home from school. I saw several houses had flags out, so I thought I would rig up a flag. There was a red silk quilt on my bed, so I took it off and got one of the slats under the springs and pinned the quilt all along it and hung it

up

Pritty soon lots of folks come the steps an rung the bell. I herd one of the wimm'sn say, " I
out.

"Look a
Peter, things
cat,

years. never thought Miss Ward would have young chap," said a naucktion to her house. She must offul solium, " there was three be going to go to Europ. I've almy missus set a heap of store ways wanted a chance to set my

hundred
here,

by, her canary bird, her tortoys shell foot in here,

an

now

I've got

it."

an her blue china picher. The canary is dead, the cat is singed, the If I picher is broke all to flinders. was you, I'd put on my hat, an stay round outside till my father come for me." He said it so solium an severe I began to tremble in myshoes. " Miss Ward is very benevolent," he went on, " but I'm afrade she'll send you If she don't to the stashun house. " Let me stay in the she ought to." "Humf! Cook kitchen," I said. will not have a child prowling around where she is." " Then I will go an ansered stay in my bedroom," I him, for I was too shamed an sorry 1 to want to see the lady agane. went up to my room an locked myself in. Miss Ward sent up for me

Bout 20 or 30 peopel had gone in when Peter he comes to the door and looks up an down and everywhere till he sees my red flag, and then he shakes his fist and comes up to my door and orders me to hopen it an he takes in my flag, an slams the window down, and says I'm
;

" puffickly haAvful."

An

Miss

Ward

she comes in, kind of crying and lafFing both at once, and she looks at her watch an says, " thank goodness, An then Peter, its after 4 o'clock." she leads me down an makes me ete a enormus peace of cake an 2 cremccakes an a sawcer of chariot russ,

and

sets
1

down

beside

me

an kepes

of my hands like I was a kite she was afrade would sale an she I away without leaf or lisense to come and ete my lunchin. mamma my is says she wonders was I kehole hollered through the homesick an did not want any. I alive; an at gust 20 minits past 5 guess she was tired of such a boy, the bell rings an I hear my papa's

hold of

for she let

me

alone.

I cried for a voice.

He thanks her 10,000 times, an little while, but when I thought it would soon be 6 o'clock I felt better. says he hopes I have not given her I opened the window and looked up much trubble, to witch she responds an down to see if the little girl was with, a sikly smile, an he looks afcm<?

126

Bad Boys

Diary.

sharp from head to foot, and thanks So then I her agane and agane. throw my arms about her neck, an hug an kiss her an tell her how much I like her, an I wish she would come and visit me an mamma pritty soon ; and we both shed a fu teres, an even Peter shakes hands, an I am on my

a bad boy, while I was wundering how it hapened that a inocent chili I,

who always tride to be an nnsde., should meet with so many axdei.ts and have such a reputasbun. Ive
got that ashamed of writing in the my diry, so many mistakes an sorrors, 1 will bid the a long, long forewel, until I am thurrowly an .xcelent
the good
little

way home. Papa was very serius all the way child, like home, an so was I. I xpect he was read oi.
thinking what could he do with such

boys you

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Hedington Manor.

H. B. Paull.

By the Author of" Eildon Manor."

AV. L. 31. Jay.

"Without and Within. Sceptres and Crowns,

<&c.

Elizabeth Wetherell.

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'Woman

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On

Sidney S. Haeeis. H. Cockton. H. Cockton. Annie Thomas. Annie Thomas. Floeence Maeeyat.
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