SUPREME

INFLUENCE

[]
Change Your Life

with the

Power of the

Language

You Use

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 Copyright © 2013 by Niurka, Inc.

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Harmony Books,
an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group,
a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com

Harmony Books and colophon are registered trademarks

of Random House, Inc.

Illustration on page 52 by Kathy Klingaman; photograph on page 132

by Barry Selby and Kathy Klingaman

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Niurka.
Supreme influence : change your life with the
power of the language you choose.
p. cm.
1. Neurolinguistics. 2. Brain—Localization of functions. I. Title.
QP399.N58 2013
612.8'2336—dc23
2012032517

ISBN 978-0-307-95687-3
eISBN 978-0-307-95689-7

printed in the united states of america

Jacket design by Laura Duffy

Jacket illustrations © Shutterstock

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

first edition

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 Foreword

My dear friend Niurka wisely teaches that “how you experience

life mirrors the quality of your questions.” When we learn to ask
spiritually aerodynamic questions, we emerge from the cocoon
of the limiting understanding we have of ourselves and learn to
freely fly on the wings of our true nature. Think about it: until
we know who and what we are, how is it possible to proceed
creating a meaningful and fulfilling life?
The simple act of picking up this book indicates that you are
ready to wholeheartedly participate in the richly textured events
of life by placing before yourself fresh questions and receiving
new insightful answers about your existence. I’m referring here
to pivotal questions that just won’t go away about the meaning
of life beyond what we’ve been conditioned to believe through
upbringing, culture, education, society, and religion. The time
comes when we ask, “Am I moving in the direction that sup-
ports my deepest evolutionary progress?”
Niurka emphasizes how the words we use—which originate
in the thoughts we think—exercise a profound influence upon
the actions we choose to take. She wisely encourages us to con-
sciously focus the energy of language in a direction that will

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 xiv FOREWORD

serve our higher purpose. Her teachings on skillful means for

working with whatever spiritual, mental, and emotional chal-
lenges that arise will gently yet firmly guide you on how to
let go of false perceptions, rationalizations, justifications, and
well-worn excuses, replacing them with mind-sets and heart-sets
that allow you to flourish in all of your life circumstances.
One of the most progressive ways to begin or deepen your
pilgrimage into the nature of your true self is with a trustworthy
guide, an individual who has walked the path with commit-
ment, discipline, and joy. Niurka is such a guide, extending to
us an invitation to step firmly on the path of self-discovery, for
navigating the yet undiscovered inner terrain of Self.
Within the pages of Supreme Influence, Niurka synthesizes
her own process of self-inquiry, which led her to studying the
world’s spiritual traditions, cognitive sciences, theories of quan-
tum physics, and philosophy. This book is a road map to how
she wholeheartedly entered her spiritual practices and trans-
formed her life of pain and suffering into one of joy and cel-
ebration. And now you too may apply the practical and wise
methods she shares for assessing the influences and habitual
patterns running your life, releasing those that no longer serve
you, and accelerating the energy of those that do. How reassur-
ing it is that once you become authentic, you can never again
fit back into the claustrophobic box of the past.
Niurka takes you to the root of what it means to be authen-
tic. She sets before you a rich banquet of wise choices for mani-
festing your highest potential. Her artful mix of methods is a
wondrous investigation into the source and importance of how
to uncover your innate strength, confidence, and joy under
all of life’s circumstances. By applying them, you will find the

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 FOREWORD xv

freedom of simply being yourself and responding authentically

to each moment.

Michael Bernard Beckwith

Author of Life Visioning: A Transformative Process
for Activating Your Unique Gifts and Highest Potential

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 1

JOU R N E Y OF AWA K E N I N G

You are holding this book and likely wondering . . . what is

Supreme Influence?
Supreme Influence is a way of being and communicating
with purpose, poise, precision, and power. It is a practice that
allows you to consciously create harmonious relationships and
produce successful results in every area of life.
Why is Supreme Influence important? Because we have
been influenced through upbringing, society, schools, religions,
media, and culture. Studies show that by the time we are 8 years
old, we have had over twenty-five thousand hours of linguistic
programming. Words have been downloaded to us, imprinting
our minds with ideas about who we are and what is or isn’t pos-
sible. These subconsciously ingrained beliefs fuel our thoughts
and drive our behaviors until we wake up!
This book is a journey of awakening to a deeper under-
standing of who you are and why you are here. These pages offer
you wisdom and practical tools to transcend reactive tenden-
cies so you authentically embody your magnificence. You will
learn advanced communication skills to improve your business,
enhance your relationships, and enrich every area of your life.
You will learn how to align your thoughts, focus, beliefs, body

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 4 SUPREME INFLUENCE

language, words, goals, and vision with your true purpose and
authentic self.
Regardless of what you’ve experienced up until now, you
absolutely can rapidly and often instantly transform challenges,
realize your vision, and inspire others through your example.
Let me share a story with you about how I discovered this for
myself.

WAKI N G U P

At age 15 I embarked on a quest for freedom, truth, and

enlightenment—except back then I called it “running away
from home.” I hopped on the back of a friend’s motorcycle, not
sure where I was going or what I would do. I just knew some-
thing had to change. I was going through a rebellious phase,
resisting my parents, opposing the strict religious school I was
forced to attend, and being frustrated in a world that didn’t
make sense to me.
So, I scribbled a runaway note, stabbed it onto a dartboard,
and disappeared into the night. At the time I felt like I didn’t
belong, as though my parents and others surrounding me didn’t
see me, hear me, or care to understand. I kept asking myself, How
did I get on this planet? I felt trapped. Alone. I didn’t understand
the world I was living in and felt powerless to change it. I sup-
pose I saw only two options back then: fight or flight. After years
of disagreeing and arguing—I left.
What brought me to that point? I was raised by conservative
Cuban parents in Miami. I went to Catholic school and par-
took of confession, communion, rosaries, and penance. I sold
doughnuts at Sunday morning service. I was told what was right

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 JOUR NE Y OF AWA K ENING 5

and wrong, good and bad, moral and immoral. If my intuition

led me in a different direction than the rules, I wasn’t allowed
to follow it.
Then, when I was 12, a traumatic event shook my family.
My parents changed religion and radically changed the rules.
I felt ambushed. We stopped celebrating holidays. We went to
church up to three times a week. By 13 I was in a new school
that didn’t allow listening to rock ’n’ roll music or dancing. I
remember sneaking in Bon Jovi cassettes and paying the conse-
quences in detention hall, where I was made to write countless
dictionary definitions (a “punishment” that gave me glimpses
of the power of words). Shorts were banned, even during physi-
cal education class, and replaced with Smurf-blue culottes. I
had never heard of “culottes,” and soon learned it was a divided
skirt ending just below the knee. I hated playing soccer in those
culottes. Actually, I hated my life. I felt confused and controlled.
It didn’t make sense that my parents’ new way would be right
and everyone else in the world following a different path would
burn in hell for all eternity. I was craving answers to some major
questions: Who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here? I
was yearning to know myself, to understand my place in the
world, in the cosmos. I was longing to know God, to feel God,
to understand the truth about God.
For three years I plotted my escape. Several times I packed
my schoolbag with a few possessions and hid it in my bedroom
closet, only to chicken out. Eventually pain outweighed fear. I
could no longer follow rules and traditions without understand-
ing their source and reason. I felt like a volcano on the brink of
eruption. The angst manifested in my body as strange ailments
doctors couldn’t diagnose, including an engorged lower lip and
a stiff neck that caused me to hunch to one side like a prettier

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 6 SUPREME INFLUENCE

version of the Elephant Man. I had nothing to look forward to,

but right then “nothing” sounded a lot better than the “some-
thing” I was experiencing. I had to get out.
After leaving home, I skipped school and spent the next few
weeks bouncing from place to place. With no skills or experi-
ence, just sheer determination, I acted older to get jobs. I sold
gym memberships and credit card machines, hawked knives
door-to-door, and worked one gig at an eclectic clothing bou-
tique called “Ouch,” which sounded like I felt, for $4 an hour
in cash. I ate budget meals: 33¢-a-box mac ’n’ cheese; a cup of
noodles for variety. Eventually I rented a room with no furniture
and saved for a futon and a TV, which turned out to have only
one channel—poltergeist static.
By the time I was 16, I had officially dropped out of high
school, my best friend had died, I had been raped, and I felt
awful about myself and my life. Not knowing what to do, I
decided to go back home. My dad was grateful; he even gave me
his older red Honda Prelude. But soon home life grew dishar-
monious. My parents and I didn’t understand how to commu-
nicate without getting upset. One day I had an argument with
my mom and left the house. When I returned the next day,
my books and clothes were in a bag on the front porch waiting
for the donation truck pickup, and my bedroom was painted a
different color. I knew deep down we all loved one another. I
yearned for a way to create understanding and bridge worlds.
Once again I left home. I was grateful for my little red Pre-
lude, which I parked across the street from the airport to watch
the planes take off, pretending I was journeying to a far-off
exotic land. I didn’t realize it then, but watching those planes
soar into the sky sparked my search for who I would become.
I began visualizing myself living free and traveling the world. I

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 JOUR NE Y OF AWA K ENING 7

saw myself riding a camel at sunrise by the Great Pyramids in

Egypt. I saw myself swimming with wild dolphins in the sea. I
saw pictures in my mind of the life I wanted. Feeling a surge of
energy, I declared, “I will find a way to do what I want to do!”
Then something inside me snapped. It felt as if my soul cracked
open, unleashing a fierce resolve to find answers, feel peace, and
discover a way to create a magnificent life. Beyond the chaos, I
had a silent knowing that my life had a purpose—I was destined
for more. I made a decision. Something had to change . . . and I
had to change it.
My resolve created a sense of personal power and direction.
Yet I had no idea what to do next. Throughout the day I recited
a mantra I had read in the Bible: Ask and you shall receive, seek
and you shall find, knock and the door shall open. I spoke these
words passionately, believing an answer would come. And in a
flash one did, in the form of a thought: Go back to school and
study business. I followed this inner guidance. Before my peers
graduated from high school, I had earned my high school equiv-
alency certificate. By 17 I had enrolled in community college.
I stopped watching TV and listening to the radio and let go of
“friendships” that held me back. The desire for something better
was so intense that I severed ties with my former life and dove
into new environments—ones demanding more of me than I
ever believed I had.
I began making conscious choices, aiming far beyond the
standards of my past and saying to myself: Whatever you feed
grows and whatever you starve dies. Investing in books became
more important than buying food or clothes. James Redfield’s
novel The Celestine Prophecy gave me hope; it spoke to my
inner knowledge that all things are connected and divine ser-
endipity surrounds us when we have awareness to see it. Dale

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 8 SUPREME INFLUENCE

Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People inspired

me to become a person of influence. I wanted to influence my
parents, create understanding, and bridge worlds without selling
out. I practiced what I learned, and soon my parents and I were
listening instead of reacting. I realized I could communicate to
get agreement instead of resistance. Before turning 18, I moved
back into my parents’ home.
More important than influencing others, I began influenc-
ing myself. My life became a laboratory. Reading those books
awakened me to the Supreme power language had to influence my
thinking and transform circumstance. “The Bible was right,” I
thought. “We do create with words!” I stopped complaining. I
stopped blaming my parents. I stopped talking about what was
“wrong.” Instead I listened, opened my heart, pictured what I
wanted, and spoke about it as if it were happening now. And
that affirmative language worked! In my first few semesters at
school I earned straight A’s, won academic awards, and even
got a scholarship. I became the student body president of the
largest community college in the United States. My physiology
shifted too. I was standing taller, breathing deeper, and feeling
greater potency. I was seeing myself from a new perspective, one
of love and appreciation.
A few months before finishing community college, I
answered a newspaper ad for a part-time job. The interview
was in a hotel. As I pulled up to the valet driving my mom’s
blue Monte Carlo, the car died right there in front of the hotel.
Embarrassed, I walked in to my interview and saw something
I had never seen before. One thousand excited people had
also showed up in the room where my “interview” was to take
place. At the head of the room, the woman onstage was wear-
ing a white suit and jeweled ornamentation. Captivated by her

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 JOUR NE Y OF AWA K ENING 9

presentation, I fell hook, line, and sinker for a pyramid scheme.

I saw the glamour and success I thought I wanted so badly that
I invested all my energy, my savings, and my credit card limit.
The government shut down the company. By age 18 I was shuf-
fling close to $40,000 in debt and my car was full of unsold
water filters and vitamins.
Often the experiences that challenge us the most are the
ones that harbor the greatest gifts. This challenge introduced
me to the book that became my greatest mentor: The Law of
Success by Napoleon Hill. “In every adversity lies the seed of
equal or greater opportunity,” Hill wrote. I devoured this text
with a pen, highlighter, and journal in hand. I searched for the
opportunities buried beneath my challenges. I wanted freedom,
and at that time the only way I could imagine realizing it was
through money. With certainty and focused intensity, I wrote
down my first goal, or as Hill puts it, my “definite chief aim.” I
declared: “I earn $100,000 or more per year.”
By age 20 I achieved my declaration. I made my first $100,000
per year while traveling the country as the top corporate trainer
for Anthony Robbins (the world-renowned transformational
teacher and motivational guru). By 24 I was traveling the world,
riding camels by the Great Pyramids, and swimming with
wild dolphins in the Red Sea, just as I imagined that day at
the airport. I had proof that my external reality would shift
when my internal and external communication shifted. Rap-
idly my whole life improved—my attitude, my relationships, my
finances, my eating habits, my wardrobe, my living situation,
my confidence, and my peace of mind. I was learning, achieving
goals, doing what I loved, and feeling free!

. . .

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 10 SUPREME INFLUENCE

I used my focus and language to change my life. I realized I

had been raised and influenced to think, speak, and perceive
the world in certain predictable ways, and although several of
these beliefs served me well, many of them did not. Now I could
choose beliefs that worked and contemplate, challenge, and
ultimately transform those that didn’t. I noticed times when
constricting beliefs surfaced, but because I was aware of them,
I was no longer held captive! I could ask, “Hmm, is this really
true? Where did this belief come from?” Through my own
experience, I understood that I could direct my focus, choose
my language, and empower myself, no matter what! I wasn’t a
victim of circumstance. I had the power to transform my life! I
had Supreme Influence.
That’s my story. Well, part of it. What’s yours? Why are you
here? If you could consciously create anything in your life, what
would it be? What is most important to you? What do you really
want? Is it freedom? Happiness? Fulfilling work that produces

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 JOUR NE Y OF AWA K ENING 11

prosperity? Do you want intimacy, a powerful partnership, juicy

sacred love, or all of the above? Do you want to transform a
recurring problem? Stop settling for less than what you are
capable of? Do you want to feel lean, healthy, and energized? Be
the most tuned-in, amazing parent to your beautiful child? Build
your dream home or sacred sanctuary? Travel the world? What
are you inspired to create? If you had a magic wand and could
wave it to manifest your heart’s desire instantly, what would you
call forth? What if you knew that right now you have the power
to summon and embody all these experiences and more? With
Supreme Influence, you can!
When your thoughts, focus, physiology, expressions, lan-
guage, beliefs, goals, and vision flow through your Supreme Self,
you have power! And I don’t mean power over any person or
thing. I mean real power. The kind of power that needs noth-
ing because it knows it has all. This is ultimate freedom, the
kind that comes with living a genuine life, the freedom to be
your true self and to make choices without fear. This power and
freedom are the fruits of living in your Supreme Influence. Here
you see with enlightened eyes, speak with a wise tongue, and
embody your authentic self. Here you live genuinely, freely, and
mightily.
We’ve all seen Supreme Influence in action. It’s what hap-
pens when one is in the flow. It’s the state of being that produces
masterpieces. It’s the state of grace that manifests miracles. It’s
pure presence and creative intelligence embodied through your
unique gifts.
What exactly do I mean by Supreme? Let’s explore the
deeper meaning of this word.
Supreme refers to the authentic you. It describes your union
with the Supreme Source of all existence. Supreme is the life

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 12 SUPREME INFLUENCE

force energy flowing in you, as you, and through you. It is the

cosmic intelligence animating all that is. Supreme causes plan-
ets to revolve around the sun, caterpillars to become butter-
flies, and embryos to develop into babies. Supreme is breathing
you right now and breathing me. Supreme is beating your heart
right now and beating mine too. Supreme is the source of your
presence and power, and the key to your purpose. When you
honor the Supreme, you live with genuine love.
So how does Supreme relate to Influence?
Influence is the power to focus your creative intelligence
and elegantly manifest your true will. You have real influence
when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in
harmony. “In-fluence” implies inward fluency. When your com-
munication with yourself is fluid and congruent, your external
circumstances morph to reflect the unity within.

SU PR EM E I N FLU EN C E I N ACTI O N

Supreme Influence is a verb; it is not a noun. It is a course of

action. It is not a goal or destination. It is a practice. It is a
way of being and communicating with yourself and the world
around you. It is a sacred journey, a path to know your self, love
life, and live on purpose.

Ò
I have been impressed with the urgency of
doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Being willing is not enough; we must do.
—LEONARDO DA VINCI

Ó
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 JOUR NE Y OF AWA K ENING 13

Life is about relationships. The quality of your communica-

tion determines the quality of your relationships with others
and yourself. When you live in Supreme Influence, you culti-
vate harmonious and cooperative relationships. And it’s not
only how you relate with others. It’s also your relationship with
nature, your relationship with your life’s work, your relationship
with money, your relationship with food and your body temple,
and most important, your relationship with your self. Relating
in Supreme Influence allows you to manifest outstanding results
in all areas of your life, such as embodying radiant health, real
love, fulfilling purpose, abundant wealth, authentic beauty, and
meaningful contribution. Living in Supreme Influence, you
enter each relationship holistically, owning your individuality
while recognizing the unity flowing through all existence.
How you experience life is a function of the choices you
make. When you focus on the Supreme, you naturally make
wise choices in thought, word, and deed that reflect who you
really are. You will choose healthy food not because you are
“trying to eat healthy” or “trying to lose weight,” but because
you honor your body as a temple and appreciate the earth
and the life-giving power of the sun. You feel inner peace not
because you took time off from work or because you meditated
today, but because your life is a walking meditation. You are
grateful and know everything as sacred. You have the power to
confidently connect with anyone anytime, not just because you
have mastered rapport skills but because you see the Supreme
unity flowing within all things. If you act shy or self-conscious
when you approach someone you would like to meet, in that
moment you are not living in your Supreme Influence. Instead
you can simply inhale a conscious breath, pull your shoulders
back, stand up straight, and remind yourself—I am One in the

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 14 SUPREME INFLUENCE

Supreme. Then imagine yourself making a genuine connec-

tion, and walk over to that person with your heart and mind in
unison.

S U P R EM E I N FLU EN C E I S
CO N SCI O U S I N FLU EN C E

Supreme Influence is conscious influence fueled with divine

love and purposefully directed.
Influence happens with or without conscious awareness.
Without discernment, you allow the language in the world
around you to influence your thoughts and ultimately your
choices, sucking you into a particular reality that may or may
not be in alignment with your Supreme Influence. You will
know if this happens because you feel discord. But the great
news is, you can make a new choice. You can literally sidestep
into a whole new realm quickly, and often instantly, simply by
shifting your focus and language.
All of us were and are influenced. At an early age we began
forming beliefs about God, money, sex, gender, marriage, poli-
tics, love, and morality as well as beliefs about ourselves. These
inherited beliefs are often outside our conscious awareness.
In other words, we are so accustomed to certain beliefs that
we don’t even notice them. They drive our behavior well into
adulthood and can lead to unconscious reactive tendencies
until we wake up!
Of course, many of the beliefs we pick up along the way
support our personal development. For example, as a child I
remember knowing I was smart. I loved to practice numbers
with Count von Count on Sesame Street. My mom was orderly,

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 JOUR NE Y OF AWA K ENING 15

and I enjoyed counting and (sometimes) organizing my socks,

my crayons, my stickers—“One . . . two . . . three.” I was also
a member of a Dr. Seuss book club. I would sit on my dad’s lap
and read to him, while he smiled and encouraged me. Some-
times I would define a word for him, which delighted him and
inspired me to learn more. My mom spoke little English, so she
would ask me to translate certain things, which reinforced the
empowering belief—I am intelligent.
One day my first-grade teacher hit me with a ruler and called
me stupid because I misspelled my last name. But her words
didn’t influence me because I had a deep-seated belief: I am
smart. In contrast, if a child is constantly told she is stupid or
not good enough, then that can become an impression that
will influence her life until she wakes up. The great news is that
mental programs, like software, can be updated! We can all
wake up.

Ò
You can break yourself free from your hereditary
patterns, cultural codes, and
social beliefs; and prove once and for all that
the power within you is greater than
the power that’s in the world.
—MICHAEL BERNARD BECKWITH

Ó
N OW I S O U R TI M E

So, beyond all stories, here we are together, in this unprec-

edented moment. This is an exciting time to be alive! People

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 16 SUPREME INFLUENCE

all over the planet are becoming more conscious and waking
up to the power they do indeed have to create their reality.
And you, my beloved soul kin, are at the forefront. Through
you, Supreme consciousness is becoming aware of itself within
the human experience.
Everything is connected in a unified web. Where does the
air I breathe stop and the air you breathe begin? There is only
One breathing. Each one of us is a unique individual expres-
sion in the kaleidoscope of existence, blessed with the freedom
to choose and the power to create. As more and more of us
consciously choose to live in Supreme Influence, what arises
is a global landscape where the power is vested not in any one
structure or way of being—but within each person. Now is our
time. We have all the resources available to us—the technol-
ogy, the knowledge, the community, and the human potential.
We are awakening as a species; Supreme Influence is here.

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