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An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:


An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it werent for you I dont know what I would have done.

My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories, thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this, when given the proper instructions, the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. This will set the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses, neuro pathways, feelings, emotions and perceptions; and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. As I said before, my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that, I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

ABUNDANCE, ADDICTION, ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS, AFFIRMATIONS, ANGER, ANXIETY................................................1 ABUNDANCE ...........................................................................1 ADDICTION ..............................................................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS.......................................................................3 ANGER ......................................................................................5 ANXIETY ..................................................................................7 BALANCE, BEREAVEMENT ..............................................................8 BALANCE .................................................................................8 BEREAVEMENT ......................................................................8 CHANGE, CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE, COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE..................................................................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .............................................18 COMMUNICATION ...............................................................21 DEPRESSION, DIETING, DRUGS TO ESCAPE ..............................26 DEPRESSION ..........................................................................26 DIETING ..................................................................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ..............................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE), EMOTIONS, ENERGY ..............................................................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)....................32 EMOTIONS..............................................................................34 ENERGY ..................................................................................35 FABULOUS, FEAR, FOCUS, FORGIVENESS, FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ....................................................................37 FABULOUS .............................................................................37 FEAR ........................................................................................40 FOCUS .....................................................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...........43 GOALS .................................................................................................46 SMART GOALS ......................................................................46

B.

C.

D.

E.

F.

G.

H.

HEALING, HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA), HYPNOSIS............49 HEALING ................................................................................49 HEART FIRE ...........................................................................51 HYPNOSIS...............................................................................52 IMAGERY, INTUITION......................................................................54 IMAGERY................................................................................54 INTUITION..............................................................................56 JEALOUSY ..........................................................................................59 JEALOUSY, LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS........................59 KARMA, KISMET ...............................................................................63 KARMA ...................................................................................63 KISMET ...................................................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION, LIFE, LOVE, LUCK .................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ........................................................65 LIFE..........................................................................................67 LOVE........................................................................................68 LUCK .......................................................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION, MIND-BODY CONNECTION, MIND SUCCESS .............................................................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION..............................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION................................................72 MIND SUCCESS .....................................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)...............................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .............................77 OVERLOAD.........................................................................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE .............................................................78 PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY ..............................80 PAIN.........................................................................................80 PERCEPTION ..........................................................................81 PHOBIAS .................................................................................82 PROSPERITY ..........................................................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ..............................................................84

I.

J.

K.

L.

M.

N.

O.

P.

Q.

R.

RELATIONSHIPS, RELEASING, RITUALS FOR SUCCESS..........86 RELATIONSHIPS ...................................................................86 RELEASING ............................................................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ......................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS); STUCK ................................................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE...............................................................94 SELF-TALK.............................................................................94 STRESS ....................................................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE........................................................96 STUCK .....................................................................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ......................................................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .....................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE................................................................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE, VICTIMHOOD, VISUALIZATION.....103 VALUE AREAS.....................................................................103 VICTIMHOOD ......................................................................104 VISUALIZATION .................................................................106 WEIGHT, WORDS, WOUNDS .........................................................108 WEIGHT ................................................................................108 WORDS..................................................................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS).................................111 X SMOKER, DRINKER, BINGER ETC ...........................................113 TWO FUTURES ....................................................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT, YUMMY LIST ..............................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT .............................................................114 YUMMY LIST .......................................................................114 ZEAL ................................................................................................116

S.

T.

U. V.

W.

X.

Y.

Z.

EXERCISES ................................................................................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.........................................................................122 INDEX ........................................................................................... i, ii, iii

A ABUNDANCE, ADDICTION, ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS, AFFIRMATIONS, ANGER, ANXIETY ABUNDANCE


Abundance isnt just about money or possessions, having an abundant life means you are living a rich, satisfying, fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially, it is filled with laughter, love, excitement and yes, money and success. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. Life often requires us to do things we dont want to and things we dont enjoy doing. As a result, we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that weve dreamed of. Because of this, we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along, weve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just dont see it or if we do see it, we dont trust it to be real. The future, indeed, your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. It is our perception of any event, incident, occurrence, activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad, have feelings of joy or hopelessness, think we are making progress or stagnating; and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. Even when we know we have this tool, sometimes we simply choose not to use it. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever; but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. In order to make changes, however, you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life, usually as a result of fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, even worse, fear of success. Maybe youve carried that old baggage around long enough. Maybe its time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance, a life that is rich and full.

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The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you, the more vibrant and alive you become, the more connected you feel, and life just gets better and better. Allow that desire to flow through you. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. A tempo that is magnetic. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life.

ADDICTION
The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice, i.e., alcohol, cocaine, heroin or whatever is not only wrong, it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it, in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound, the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling, helps them suppress the pain, at least for a while, at least while they are using their drug. Do something regularly and you develop a habit, keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction, which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. Unfortunately while a person is high they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. Unfortunately, however, statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs; so, if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results, you do have a choice. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. It is important though, to find a support group of people who dont judge you, who you can call when you feel you might slip, or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. Your first step, however, no matter what program you are going through, if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. If you do not take the
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time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt, then you, the addict, will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it one day at a time; and those days actually can get harder because the longer you dont use, the closer to the surface this pain will rise. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed, but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isnt an easy thing to do. However, if it is not done, you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. When you face this pain that you have been running from, the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. A friend of mine once told me, None of us can compare our lives to others because we arent living their life. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. The sooner we realize and accept that, the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. Brisa Zas

ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS:
Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. www.passagesmalibu.com www.secularsobriety.org www.habitdoc.com www.practicalrecovery.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease, it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. I agree with this school of thought. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict, you will forever remain an addict; but you dont have to. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. You do have the power to fight it!

AFFIRMATIONS
Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. Many people, though, dont really use affirmations in the best way possible; so, here are some suggestions for working with affirmations:

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Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. When you do this, actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. If necessary, remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror, your computer, the steering wheel of your car, your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. If you say something like Im going to quit smoking. Or I will lose weight. the message sent to your mind, the reality created is that you will get to these things someday, but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like I am a non-smoker or I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. State your affirmations in the positive. Always create an image of what you want in your life, not what you want to avoid. So say something like I am in a happy and exciting relationship, rather than I dont want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. Or say, I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways rather than I wont smoke when Im under stress. Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. When you move towards what you want, it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you dont want, thats like moving uphill. So, always focus on what you want to move towards. Be specific. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality, be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. Dont simply say something like I have a new car, when what you really mean is, I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. If it doesnt make you slightly uncomfortable or you dont feel a little jolt when you first say it, then youve picked an affirmation that isnt right for you. Youve chosen something too easy to acquire. Dont let fear hold you back. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable, then that means you are on the right track. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. If you arent getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. Always remember this, there is no limit to what you can be or do or have.

Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

ANGER
Anger can feel like an empowering emotion, and in small doses can be a good thing. But some people seem to be angry all the time. When this is the case, then anger becomes a serious health risk. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. Even if we bury anger deep inside, it can be just as damaging. Holding onto anger, hostility, resentment, hurt, fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. In addition, chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking, can lead to serious food addictions, eating disorders, alcoholism, drug abuse and depression. So, what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. When a relationship ends, along with mourning, anger is the most common response. In situations that cause fear, anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth, shaking, cold hands, fatigue, crying, and heart palpitations. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way, although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. If you see yourself as a victim, you may blame others for your situation or condition. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden, going from one trauma to the next, feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. If you dont see yourself as a victim, you may see yourself as an avenger, looking for justice and revenge. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm, coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. Not only is this destructive to you, but the damage done to others can take years to heal. (See Words and Sound Therapy)

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In situations where you feel discounted and ignored, you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like what if or if only. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. Power and anger are frequently related. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. If you feel powerless, you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive, expressing your anger in an indirect way. You could find yourself intentionally irritating, sarcastic, and stubborn. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger, it will never go away. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. In the past, society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. Unfortunately, many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from angers escalating effect on stress hormones), coronary disease, cancer, suicide, and even increased workplace injuries. Also, chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking, and can lead to serious food addictions, alcohol and drug abuse, and depression. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger, and can help make you more content. You dont need to be held hostage to your anger; and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger, not only the anger you might hold within yourself, but anger that may be directed at you by others, read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise Ive given you there. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. With enough practice you dont even have to lay down or close your eyes, you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. Remember, that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. When I say forgive I mean letting go, releasing your anger, bitterness, fear and hurt. Forgiveness is different than saying I lose or I was wrong and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again; however, forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process.

Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

ANXIETY
Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness, weakness, nausea, mood swings, anxiety, shakiness, cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the bodys effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside, driving a car, flying, being home alone, etc.), an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia, fear or anxiety. Also, if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state, anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia, fear or anxiety. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected, hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. Fears, phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis.

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B BALANCE, BEREAVEMENT BALANCE


Two days a year, every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. Twelve hours of day and night. Just think about that a moment. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light, a perfect balance. Wouldnt it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. Sometimes we need reminders. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if well just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox, let them be a reminder to look inside. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are; whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you should act or who you should be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. I told him the usual stuff, you know, that happiness must come from within ourselves. It cant depend on something or someone outside ourselves. There isnt another person, place or thing that can make you happy. No one can tell you how to be happy. No matter what you hear, there isnt a set formula for finding your joy. Happiness, joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Good advice, right? Yes and no. He told me that hed basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy, then it would make him happy as well. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted, then hed really truly be happy. The problem was, it didnt work. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books, getting involved with a church, talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasnt happy and didnt know what would make him happy. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. But not my friend and I simply didnt know what to suggest. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie The Legend of Beggar Vance, and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this:
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Theres a perfect shot out there just looking for you, all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. I realized thats the problem and the answer. Whether its an emotion, feeling, goal, desire, lover, job or whatever you are seeking, sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. That means stop analyzing everything so much, stop thinking it to death, stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy, happiness, fulfillment and life find you. It will, the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. In this state, you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions, the right kind of suggestions. You are able to access your subconscious. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. They work because the voice you hear isnt being affected by what you are feeling. No matter how hard we may try, if we are angry, hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts, our voice, even the words we use; but the recorded voice cant be affected by any of that. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. But even more than that, they allow the subconscious to grow strong. They allow you to clear out the old, get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind, working for you, helping you to get yourself out of your own way; and in doing so, you give your subconscious permission to fix what might be broken, to balance the light and dark within yourself. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units, the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place.

BEREAVEMENT
Coping with Loss and Bereavement
By Jane C. Woods, jane@changingpeople.co.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but
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any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us - the intensity and duration may differ. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. It is an immutable part of the human condition, but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure, and generally we prefer not to think about it, pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. However, I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved, and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones, that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help, just a little. Knowing that our responses are normal can be a comfort. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. That said, everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. I cant describe a typical response because there isnt one as such. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes, expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals, and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK, you must do what is right for you. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. Were likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it, for example, when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but its as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. To a degree that can be true, but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous, and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just be there for anyone going through it. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house, letting relevant people know, and so on.

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Denial A second common response, once the first shock waves have abated, is a refusal to believe the news. Our brains (or maybe thats our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. We may need evidence; we may need to be told several times; we may be compelled to visit the scene; we may need to see the person themselves if possible. This is where someone less involved can offer help, by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. Some enlightened doctors know, when they are breaking bad news to patients, that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences, and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. For example, If I do this, it will make this news/event/horror go away even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. It is unrealistic but again, a normal response. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and, disconcertingly, this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable, uncaring, and just plain wrong. We probably feel unable to share this emotion, if indeed we recognize it for what it is. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort, or those suffering alongside us. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt, punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do, or for feeling angry. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. Often that is enough, recognizing it and naming it. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. Help them tell you their feelings, encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor.

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Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low, even perhaps depressed, although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. You cannot short circuit this process; it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief; if we hadnt had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldnt have the bitter taste of grief. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. For example, in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning, when our behaviour, and even our clothing, was decreed. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as were all unique and all need to find our own way, but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave, how to manage our grief. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. At the time I didnt appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. The wearing of an arm band said I am in mourning so dont expect me to be as I usually am, I have lost someone significant in my life. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed, (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned, for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it, or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically, just let it go. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person; create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour, or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart, like fundraising for a particular charity. If you are trying to help

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a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. Experiment At some point, and this will of course vary from person to person, we begin to move on. You may find, perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise, you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. This does not mean forgetting them, not in any sense. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. So, in this phase, we experiment with new ways of behaving. Maybe its something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didnt. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time, which can be a comfort. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. But actually, however it feels, you never go right back to the beginning; you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. You probably wont be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened, the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain, such as excessive use of alcohol. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse, feeling there is no point. However hard it is, try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. Let close friends offer you comfort, be it with a handshake or a hug. People want to help but they often dont know how. If you need a hug, ask them.

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Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. If you can, try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain; it doesnt help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. Of course, take medical advice, but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful firsts. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. Knowing this can help you plan for it. You may need to make sure its day you are not working, or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy, surrounded by people. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss, or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Again, ritual can be helpful at this time, be it lighting candle, taking flowers to an appropriate place, or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Helping In Western culture, as I have said, we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning; that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child, her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didnt know what to say. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. We all feel awkward when confronted with anothers pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. Literally, a hand on someones arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Sometimes its not appropriate to mention it directly, at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task, so we need to use our discretion. But dont let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity, be it taking some homemade food round, a card sincerely written, or an offer of help with the shopping. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. I hope it has been helpful however, whether for you personally, or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.

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C CHANGE, CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE, COMMUNICATION CHANGE


This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. Sometimes, though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Just remember this, by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing, you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. Isnt it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life; make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. Woods, jane@changingpeople.co.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it - rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic, some research based, some anecdotal, and some simply telling you how to do it. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! Ill summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us, almost no one likes it. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. We dont believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. Sometimes, depending on the severity of the change, we can get very fed up, even depressed. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. This phase goes on for ages or not too long, depending on the change. Some people embrace change and some resist it. Its best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Finally, we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. The Stages of Change

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Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence, the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them, apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesnt work, Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. A Story Here is a short story about change. It may ring a bell with you. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. You are feeling bright and chirpy, but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. You are speechless at first. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. What? you say, I dont believe it and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camels back and you may want to explode. However, everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. Finding they are, you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. Worse, someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

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But then, as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen, you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office, and, yes, joy of joys, your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes, and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. By the time you go home you have integrated the change to such an extent that it doesnt even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change...and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. For example, supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. So, maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. That is a fact to record on the top line. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest, no one but you is going to see this. For example, did it make you sad, angry, vulnerable, or determined to make more effort, or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. Use two different colours if you like. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well; dont just focus on the negatives. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. It can be really helpful to look at two changes, one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house, but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and dont always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots!

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Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless; there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. Obviously, our responses to change are individual and personal. However, our thoughts, and therefore our feelings, about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. Its just the way I feel Or You make me feel so cross. Actually, no one makes us feel anything. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make, even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low, you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others, retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. For example, something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused, another to frown and feel aggrieved, even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. Similarly with our responses to change; the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. One may approach it in a positive way, looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen, while another may be much more fatalistic, expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen, but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you!

CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE


What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out, the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. Dawns, however, are funny things. They begin almost imperceptibly. At first, you really cant even be sure whether it is happening or not. Then, as the dawn progresses, we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. Sometimes, we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. But as the sun rises, light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. The same principle applies to you. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion, overloaded message units and repressed fears,
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anxiety and emotions, you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. Even in the middle of your own personal darkest hour, remember dawn can and will happen. If you are starting to feel anxious, confused or fearful, you do not need to feel this way. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety, apprehension and fear, you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what you desire, need or want. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization, you are in essence training your mind, preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence, resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you, see the right path, want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. Unfortunately, however, and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control, we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem, confidence, even our physical health and well being. For example, you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. If you hear over and over that you are stupid, inept, clumsy, a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk), your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise, it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. Ultimately, given enough time and repetition, your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units, but will actually consider them an order. When this happens, you start to believe it yourself. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot trust your instincts. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Giving you the feeling of freedom, relaxation, comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Be absolutely clear about what you want. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals,

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achieving prosperity, abundance, realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth, you need to be aware. Know that no matter what things might look like, you always have a choice. And know that when you make choices that express the real you, your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis, by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and, in addition, all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. If you want a New Beginning, why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts, take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Guide them, mold them and do it over and over again. It does make a difference. You will feel stronger, happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life, you are actually living the life you want. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control, then the real fun can start, realizing all the possibilities available to you, all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isnt just about a series of destinations, it is a journey. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. Trust that the Universe has, does and will continue to offer you what you need, want and desire. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue, go to that party youve just been invited to, get together with that friend youve been hoping would call. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. As Abraham Lincoln once said, in the end its not the years in your life that count. Its the life in your years. So live your life fully, with clarity, confidence and trust, all of your life, not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life, I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject, so, enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie, the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? Its as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation, yoga, eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner

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knowing. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. I truly believe that faith, courage, trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. Here it isThink of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses, yellow balloon, dolphins - get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. It is important not to go looking for your sign, or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down, look and listen, our answers are all around us. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz, malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk, engage and listen. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. These people hold the tenant this too shall pass in their hearts and mind. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live.

COMMUNICATION
During the course of giving my workshops on relationships, I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. The problem is that we communicate differently.

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I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed, how they can come apart, why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my Relationships section, but E&P affects, among other things, the way we communicate with each other. First, E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality, it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. These two types, emotionals and physicals really are misnamed. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations, suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in, enjoys spur of the moment activities, physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. It is the physical who yells, possibly even throws things when angry, cries, screams, whatever when upset. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. In relationships, opposites really do attract, people dont realize just how true this is; and how natural and normal this is. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. An example would be, if you ask a physical if they are cold, they will answer yes or no; ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but dont want to say so. So, rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and theyll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. Ask an emotional and if there arent any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. Dont make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity, it isnt. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. Communication, however, is so much more than simple questions. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out.

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The same thing occurs when communicating. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they feel while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Since we tend to project our thoughts, feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to, you can see how this could be problematic. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about; then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling, the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesnt care as much. Conversely, when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside, the physical thinks they dont care because they arent showing their emotions and wont talk about them. Also, the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws, the more the physical pushes. It becomes a vicious circle. Remember though, that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. This E&P communication, however is just one part of communication. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. Words have power. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation, they can ruin lives. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation, you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. We heal from physical injuries, but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image, self-confidence, causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be, but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. You had to be strong. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going.

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The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. The woman who has come out of a nasty, bad relationship and can keep on going, is powerful beyond belief. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big, beautiful heart and so much love to give. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us, each of us, just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by using it, by working it, so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. You know because I say it over and over again, think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger, wider and stronger each and every day, eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. The same holds true for what you hear. This is why words do have so much power. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse, it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind, take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes, dreams and desires. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best, most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day, but not only that, throughout your life entire life. Think and dream about your future. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Also, Id be negligent if I didnt address this issue of abuse right here and now. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way, leave. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. But you are wrong. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Make some calls, find out what you can do, call out for help, someone will answer. But most of all, keep your thoughts strong. Your life depends on it After all, what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. As a matter of fact, this planet needs you, your talent, intelligence and compassion.

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Each of us, please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about, our child, wife, husband, lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Once said they are out there forever. Saying you are sorry doesnt counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. And thats really what venting to another person is; dont ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. Vent when you are alone, scream and yell and swear all you want. But when you are with someone you care about, think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones. words can hurt you, words can destroy you.

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D DEPRESSION, DIETING, DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION


Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness, sleep problems and/or exhaustion, suicidal feelings, an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts, conditions and illnesses, this doesnt mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Mood is affected by dozens of genes, thought patterns and thought habits. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something Ill go into a bit later, but in essence they are just like any other habit; and just like any other habit, we can take control of our thoughts and change them, if we want to. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression, yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. In addition, researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. According to Dr. Michael Craig Miller in his article Managing Every Shade of Blue, if this work fulfills its potential, patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. Dr. Miller goes on to stress, however, that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available, it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. As research continues in this area, we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts, depression, anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. According to Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler, pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves. Todays research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -- even into very advanced old age. You have billions upon billions of neurons. In fact, if your brain neurons were laid out end to end, they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons - it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. Researchers like Dr. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einsteins brain and found it was different in only one way -- Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. AND -- here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. No one is born with such a brain -- it is created.
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Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -- use it or lose it. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. But if you engage in regular mental workouts, those interconnections then expand and strengthen. And if you manage to overload your brain with the right kind of sensory information, it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong, healthy muscles.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience. It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. Think about that a moment. This is hugely important! All our thoughts, images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. What we think, what we say to ourselves, that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous, silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and, even more importantly, NOT to think about those things that you dont want. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we dont want. We may think to ourselves I want a happy, fulfilled life and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: I want a happy, fulfilled life. I dont want to be around negative people, Im tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. Im tired of feeling stressed and under pressure, I just want to be happy. What is actually being said here? Look at it. Pretty much it deals with everything you dont want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. The subconscious doesnt register the difference between do and dont. What it does understand, though, are all those bigger thoughts such as negative people, unhappy, disappointed in my relationships, etc.

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What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Pay attention to what you are thinking. When there is negative thinking, reflect on the contrary. Reflect on the positive, 100 times more. Take responsibility for your thoughts. The Snapshot exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases, including cancer, heart disease, Parkinsons disease, epilepsy, stroke and Alzheimers. Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms, observes Dr. Bruce Cohen, president of McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. An unhealthy body can lead to depression, and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Fixing one problem can often help the other. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone), many people are also realizing that much of their pain, whether it is physical or emotional, is originating on a deeper, subconscious level. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level, it will continue to go on. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. When you can take a truth and internalize it, with the aid of hypnosis, so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level, on a subconscious level, you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious says Adrian Calabrese, Ph.D., Womans World, October 18, 2005. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice, you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. So, give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from!

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DIET
Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes, it seems as if all the doctors, scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. First we were told that fat, any kind of fat, is bad for you; then we were told maybe it isnt. We all know the difference between bad and good fats, but in addition, according to the New York Times, a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything weve ever heard), and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. Chocolate was bad for you, then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women), now again we are hearing, well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we dont really know for sure. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets, and of course, the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. The first diet included six small meals a day, the second diet was only three meals a day, and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something Ive always heard is bad for you). Confusing, you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues, and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings, then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. And throughout all of it, we are really only getting part of the story. Part of one study, test or theory, never a comparison with all the other studies, tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. When most of us think about diet and weight, we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight, and these are serious issues indeed; but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia, particularly among our young people, especially our young women. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves, sometimes to death, because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they arent a size 6 or below, they are fat and unattractive! Hey, people, Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem, especially in the United States, but Im sure it is expanding over much of the world. The truth is, moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food, diet and weight; and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of, we just dont want to do it.

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When a client contacts me about a weight issue, one of the first things I tell them is, weight issues are rarely just about weight. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not, it can include abandonment issues, a lack of fulfillment, satisfaction, confidence or happiness. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings, emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. Releasing negative thoughts, feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. As we live our lives, we tend to carry around baggage from our past. Just as with any weight, both emotional and physical, the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets; and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly, we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it; so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop Eating to outsmart food addictions and they explain and teach how food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. As they discuss and teach in this workshop, there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do? A good question indeed and Im sure you are wondering right now, just how can we overcome these physical cravings. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns, by taking control of our thoughts, using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker, and getting the right kind of support and advice. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. In fact, awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. Knowledge is indeed power, but Im not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge, we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. Dont read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything youve heard up to that point. With the internet available to all of us, we can each take the time to do a bit of research.

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Knowledge, though is not just about external fact, we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. Look at yourself, observe how you feel, what do you see, what do you think about, what does your world look like. If you dont like it, remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. I keep going back to this one phrase, take control of your thoughts and change your life. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. Use the tools youve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop, you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo.com.

DRUGS TO ESCAPE
I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle, drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. So wonderful, in fact, that we keep going back to it. This is, though just an illusion. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed, but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture, what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions, i.e., fear, anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently, we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse; and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious, it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. You can continue the work on your own, but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first.

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EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE), EMOTIONS, ENERGY, EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)
Anxiety, fear, depression, anger, resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of, when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the bodys energy system. As Ive written before, a negative experience itself, any negative experience, has no value of its own. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the bodys energy. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. Not a hypothetical path, but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the bodys energy field and restoring it to balance. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahans Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. While EFT certainly has it share of critics, proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions, including depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, general stress, addictions and phobias. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer. It is important to understand that as with any alternative medicine you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the bodys energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the bodys energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions.

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It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response, understanding the negative experience is not enough. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises Ive seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence, the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. As stated earlier, this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one, war trauma or severe physical illness. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance, to addiction, weight loss to pain and illness. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. With regard to addictions, EFT can help with both the cravings, and more importantly, the root causes such as feelings of loneliness, deprivation, emptiness and anxiety. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. In addition, since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion, the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. Remember, the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis, do not use self-hypnosis. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. With or without hypnosis, EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects.

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EMOTIONS
Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health, but our physical health as well. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger, hostility, resentment, hurt, fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. It can even be linked to suicide, accidents and increased workplace injuries. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. By forgiving, releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger, hurt and unforgiveness, you arent excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering, even more importantly, you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. Likewise, studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga, meditation, and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state, hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. One such study by Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer, a German physician conducted with the help of 20,000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion, the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. For example, cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer, which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more

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specifically, fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. In most cases of cancer, emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the bodys way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong, something out of alignment emotionally or physically; that we are out of balance. Scientists say they have found that one of the bodys good mood chemicals forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitts lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit, it prevents depression. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease, such as genetics, diet, pathogens, exposure to toxic substances, etc. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Throughout this book you will find theories, suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. In addition to nurturing your mind, taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar, white flour, etc), synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters, vaccines, pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves); and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables, emphasizing as many raw foods as possible, whole grains, fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you, keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently, stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Dont expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction, its not just your emotional well being that is at stake, your physical health is at risk as well if you do not.

ENERGY
Relaxation and energy, seems somewhat contradictory, doesnt it? It may seem contradictory, but it is not. Those people with the most energy are also those people
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who have the ability to relax more fully. So, whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork, stress, or an inability to let go and just relax, if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. Hypnosis can help you. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing, imagery, visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. While listening to your hypnotherapist, your mind and body relax more and more deeply, opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique, you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again, but balance will return.

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F FABULOUS, FEAR, FOCUS, THROUGH RELEASING

FORGIVENESS,

FREEDOM

FABULOUS
How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. Drink more water. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day, depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. 2. Eat the right foods. Fiber. The indigestible parts of fruits, nuts, whole grains, beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Healthy fats. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body, primary by reducing the inflammation. Increase your intake of fish, walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods, like heavily processed foods as well as corn, soy, safflower and vegetable oils. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Fruits and vegetables and spices. Their phytonutrients - carotenoids in carrots, curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants, which as we know reduce inflammation. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon, turmeric, garlic liberally. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. Chew properly. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly, try counting the chews in each bite, aiming for 30 to 50 times. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each, until the food becomes liquid. Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates.

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Saliva also makes the food more alkaline, which creates less gas. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine, but it is caused by spleen imbalances.) If under pressure at meals, take deep breaths, chew, and let the simple act of chewing relax you. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. 3. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle, and regular sustained movement support your thyroid, lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Any form of exercise helps. Sweat cleans up your system. Pesticides, chemicals from manufacturing, and metals such as mercury and lead from air, water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. In the blood these toxins sabotage the bodys main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). The solution: Sweat. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. Regular exercise should make you sweat, but so will saunas and hot baths. Losing weight gradually - not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. 4. Breathe. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. But breathing is also effective. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brains chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. 5. Eat homemade food. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Our blood is what creates our cells, our tissues, our organs, our skin, our hair, our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. 6. Detox. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. Detox is a relative term, because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. As a matter of fact, our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system, we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. But sometimes we need to change our dietary

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(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets, diary products, bread, fats, fried foods, refined flours, meats, hydrogenated fats, drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables, grains, nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. 7. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. Yoga poses reduce stress levels, boost mood, and improve overall health. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while youre doing basic beginner yoga. Tai chi -moving meditation - consists of slow, focused, deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body, improving your healthy well-being. 8. Laugh. Even if you cant tell a joke, you sure can laugh at one. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Take the laughter yoga class. 9. Have sex. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship, relaxes your body, releases happy chemicals, and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. 10. Have a home-made facial. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques, because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. I call it facial meditation. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey, mix and put on your face for 15 minutes - it is delicious. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. We have to learn how to prioritize our health, our relationships, our jobs, etc. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness - journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous.

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Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite, mood swings, insomnia or lack of energy. For more information about her Womens Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats, to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks DeStress-101 and Detox-101 visit her website: http://www.naturalcounselor.com

FEAR
Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons, they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they cant focus or sleep at night. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results, one thing seems to come up most frequently. That one thing is FEAR. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme, it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again, that one thing, FEAR: fear of change, fear of failure, or even worse, fear of success, sometimes just fear and you dont even know what it is you fear. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while, a short while. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do, it keeps us from making a big mistake. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. Weve lived with it for so long that it has become normal, what we expect. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that havent worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it, isnt it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isnt it time for you to move into the happy, healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that, though, you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy, healthy and joyous life you want. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams, blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to

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settling for less: less in the current state of your finances, relationships, career and health because you are afraid of failing, afraid of disappointment. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure), we have chosen, instead, to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but, for the most part, we are afraid to dream, afraid to believe and afraid to hope. As children we were free to play, pretend and let our imaginations soar. But, as we grew older, we were told to leave those dreams behind. We were told to grow up, stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world, the world of adults. Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you wont be disappointed. This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents, friends and lovers live this kind of life, many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that, in order to be an adult, have a reasonably happy life, and grow up, we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely wed better not take the time to play. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. This is wrong. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us, the more vibrant and alive we become, the more connected we feel, and life just gets better and better. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. If you havent done so already, write down your goals and if you did write them down, get out your list and read it again. When you have specific, concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are, you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety youve been feeling will lessen considerably. 2. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. Be honest. Dont keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it, or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. Your goals must be your very own. Something that is important to you right now. There is no reason you cant add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right.

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3. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. As an example, if your goal is to run a marathon, set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. 4. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Say affirmations daily! If you havent already discovered this, affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. When you say your affirmations out loud, you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesnt differentiate between fact or fiction, so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said, making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. 5. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support, even though we would gladly give it if asked. Dont be afraid to talk to or call a friend, parent, life coach or whomever and ask for support. Support can come in many forms: encouragement, doing something together, talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle, laughing, crying and so on. If you have not asked for support much in the past, push yourself to ask for help now. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. Use them, youve got nothing to lose but that fear youve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain.

FOCUS
Look around you. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes, perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living, breathing things. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in, he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Focus, a powerful tool. Sometimes, though, its hard to focus. Sometimes you cant focus because of all that noise in your head. You know, that voice in your head that wont stop talking, or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you cant seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. A message unit is every bit and
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piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. During the course of a day, you are bombarded with millions of message units. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. Luckily, though, our subconscious is able to do this for us. The subconscious processes everything, every single message unit so that we consciously do not. When we go through periods of stress, though, even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning; to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions youve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better.

FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE


Throughout our lives, whether asleep or awake, we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -- taste, touch, sight, smell and hearing. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious, recorded on brain and body cells. Over time, despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident, it still exists in our subconscious, and continues to affect our lives to some degree. This is commonly referred to as memory, and its effects may be positive, negative or neutral to our mental, physical and emotional well-being. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature, the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments, psychological imbalances, interpersonal and relationship problems, self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness, health, success and fulfillment. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. It disables your emotional resources. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt, resentment or anger. By using the Lindwall Foundations Releasing Process, we can allow a past disturbance to surface, confront the situation as needed, then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant, affirmative statements, that release, forgive and accept forgiveness.

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Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level, you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Even when we sleep long hours, we dont wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. This not only applies to a current, existing situation, but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Free yourself of the old stuff floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness, fear and anxiety. Once learned, the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone, or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator, either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. During the Releasing session, a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness, which frees the Releaser from old patterns, heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. Heres how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. 2. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. 3. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0, giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of 0, he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. 4. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. 5. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing, such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs, tears, anger, laughter and perspiration. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. 6. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious, the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident, expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. They are also

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asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed, the Releaser is asked to state, I release (relevant emotions, such as anger, sadness, disappointment, etc.), and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. 7. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session, encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. 8. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour), the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1, she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert, and feeling great. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releasers eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. As people from all backgrounds, including health care professionals and clergy, have learned, the Lindwall Foundations Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: You, as a Soul, function as a computer operator, the brain is your biological computer, and your body and life are the printout. The words I release are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. While the Lindwalls Releasing Process, once learned, can be done alone, I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis; however, I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them.

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G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM


Weve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. Ive written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. A really simple way to test this theory is this, if you think about a color, take the color blue for example, you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. This same principle works the same way for emotions, thoughts and ideas. If you think about anger, you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. Not only in your own relationships, bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. Conversely, the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. Sometimes, though, it is hard to focus on anything because we arent even sure what it is that we want. We find ourselves drifting along, not really happy. I dont know about you, but Ive heard myself say in the past, I dont know what I want, I just know it isnt this! It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. A state of being is not a state of having been or will become, it is who you are right at this very moment. Each of us is already whole, perfect and complete (even if we dont think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being, your current life situation. A state of being is not an emotion, it is a feeling and a condition of existence. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being, you can change it by setting yourself some goals. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life, whether it is an emotion, an activity or a thing. You choose what you want in your life. Think of it as a game, a diversion to keep life interesting, fun, meaningful and exciting. Without goals, not only does life get depressing, it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future, something that is crucial to goal setting. After youve done this, it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal:

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Smart Goals are: S M A R T Specific, simple Measurable, meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished), achievable in all areas of life Realistic, responsible, ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want.

SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do, we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. Just because youve encountered an obstacle doesnt mean you give up, it just means you make an adjustment. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. Adjustments are a good thing, they show us that we are changing and since we werent happy where we were, change is the whole point. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily, sometime weekly, revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. If you do this regularly, you arent taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled.

Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward, keeps us feeling alive. You just dont need challenges that are overwhelming. With a SMART goal and these suggestions, they will never be overwhelming.

If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly, it would be a boring and scary world. Dont forget about free will. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person, Ive written about it here and I work with my clients on it. But you cant manifest everything you want. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy, doesnt mean I can have him. Hes got free will just as we all do; and this bring me to the next and very important point

Your goal cannot be about harming another, not if you want to improve your life.

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Remember, by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. So, set those goals, dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure, your goals are clear and you believe that it will.

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H HEALING, HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA), HYPNOSIS HEALING


Healing and Hypnosis, the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery, but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. It can help relieve pain, make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses, aid with gastrointestinal ailments, speed up healing after surgery, lower blood pressure, relieve depression and so much more. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. In a pilot study published in 1999, Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes, Ph.D., showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and, in a follow-up experiment published in 2000, Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production, and help strengthen the immune system. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves, turning some functions on and others off. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing, imagery, visualization and positive suggestions. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness, deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. As David Spiegel, director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains, there is some overlap with meditation however, hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength, by using specific, directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. Working from the inside out, releasing negative thoughts, perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires.

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It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapys high success rate, particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. Arreed Barabasz, director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. The suggestions, though, must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against, but rather stress those things that you want to move toward, the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. For the client who wishes to quit smoking, referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body, visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed, almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy - compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis, April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain, Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time, in terms of levels of pain, anxiety and the need for painkillers. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle, soothing kind of treatment, thats because it is. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation, which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli, Barabasz states and goes on to state further that Ill tell a patient to imagine that shes swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. It relieves the emotional tension thats behind the problem. Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an empathic care provider; and the third received standard care, empathic care provider and hypnosis. During the operation, patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier, so surgeons couldnt tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. Every 15 minutes, the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted.

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The results of the study were published in The Lancet. On average, Spiegel and Lang found, the hypnotized subjects used less medication, experienced less pain, and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. Patients who werent hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies, involving more than 330 patients. Once again, the hypnotized patients used less medication, recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. Its not just a fantasy, says Spiegel. Its not just telling people things because thats what you think they want to hear. If you think you are seeing color, you actually see it, and your brain acts as though its seeing it. Using imaging technology, neuroscientists have taken pictures of peoples brains during hypnosis. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex, the brains manager and planner, and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. While in the trance, a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image, which could account for heightened attention. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. In effect, psychologists say, the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness, so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember, says Marc Schoen, a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. And this list goes on and on. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control, then the real fun can start, realizing all the possibilities available to you, all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. A journey that you can now control.

HEART FIRE
Hridaya Yoga

Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. While it is particularly effective in removing anger, it can also be used for any negative emotion such as

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jealously, hurt, fear, resentment, guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. All life starts as a spark, a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. This spark is at the center of each persons heart. Sometimes, though, this spark can grow a little dim. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger, hurt, resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire, as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on, it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. When I say fuel, Im not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images, not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate); this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire, you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. Try it once and feel the results. With a bit of practice, you can do this exercise while awake, even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal.

HYPNOSIS
My goal is not tell clients what to think. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. Its all right there inside their subconscious. My purpose is to help them remember. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances, the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. As we each move through life, we each have to deal with something. Some little problem or some big problem. Problems that we encounter every single day. We have to cope with irritating, rude or just plain nasty people; unpleasant, unhealthy or even dangerous situations; stress, tension and minor frustrations; sometimes major life altering situations and problems. Each incident throughout the day affects us.
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We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. Some pleasant, some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information, every message unit. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. But that doesnt mean it isnt affecting how we think, feel or react. Sometimes it becomes necessary to clean house. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious; it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. Giving you a feeling of relaxation, comfort, clarity, euphoria and control of your life again. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts. As a result, you will feel refreshed, relaxed, and much better about yourself. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment, then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers; however, hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School, hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. According to Stephen Kosslyn, a professor of psychology at Harvard, hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: It changes our sense of the possible. Using hypnosis, you create a vivid, intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when youve achieved your goal. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. The more visual and real you make your goal, the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. If there is anything in your world, anything at all about yourself, your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with, you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session; or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. Try hypnosis, not only will you feel better immediately, but the results will amaze and delight you.

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I IMAGERY, INTUITION IMAGERY


Imagery and Visualization
An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days, who I especially admire, once wrote, It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. Your ability to overcome obstacles, create passionate relationships, heal your body, mend your ways, and change your life - is determined by the thoughts you think. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure, failure or success, fear or confidence. Cheryl ONeil, www.cheryloneil.com Cheryl is talking about imagery, a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. More and more doctors as well as patients, recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. Simply put, you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind, and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Conversely, fixing a problem in one place, can often help the other. The brain is simply another organ in your body, and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. What we experience as feelings, good or bad, are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. As stated in Womans World, September 26, 2006, Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking, because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. What we think, what we say to ourselves, that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous, silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress, boost your mood, feel more loved, build self-confidence, etc., etc. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. However, there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. Never, ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down, depressed
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or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that youll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what its like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and Im not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything. Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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INTUITION
Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didnt have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just dont know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isnt right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldnt want that? It is one of lifes gifts to us that we dont all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I dont know why but I just dont like that person. Or something doesnt feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back youll notice that feeling was right wasnt it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, Something isnt right here. A lot of people will recognize that something isnt quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Dont be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. The fourth part is training your mind. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests, use a deck of cards, place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. Go with your first impression you get from each card. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. Another way I practice is with elevators. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. 98% of the time I am right. When Im not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. You rise above thinking in mediation. You know that saying, What we think about we bring about. How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow, allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. We all have this gift its about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach, Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.com, partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Law of Attraction, Self Esteem, Abundance, Meditation, Motivation, Reiki, Private & Group Coaching, Free Life Changing Mp3s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www.qualifiedlifecoach.com

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J JEALOUSLY Jealousy, Love and Relationships


Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations, projections, delusions, envy, guilt and a lack of self-esteem. What do you do when youre jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else, and if so, you may go into a rage. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. You are angry. You feel violated. You want revenge. You want to stop what you are feeling. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again; in control of yourself and your partner. If you can cool down, step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy, you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps, in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. Often, what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us, they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. It is essential to communicate clearly, frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship, you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires, compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive, succeed, enjoy their life, and grow. You want to see them become more of who they are, no matter what that entails. Thats the truth of love. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for
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yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship, the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. If your relationship is based on Attachment, you will often experience the pain of jealousy. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault, the jealousy resides within you; not within the relationship. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. If you move inward and look at yourself, you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations; and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner, you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. If you can do this, you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. Jealousy is like an onion, layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship, you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. You can give yourself the gift, the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so, where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way youve learned something about yourself. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is, you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner, you cannot. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. It does not, you cannot make a person love you.

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Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. You do not own it. It is their own. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. This insight, this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Look at your beliefs, really look and analyze them; get rid of the ones that arent working, the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Another layer is projection. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. The truth is that for most of us, the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone, we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. This is natural and normal. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have, you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts, but that he or she is actually doing something about them. This is projecting. Going down to an even deeper layer, we find envy. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Another layer can be guilt. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. We think that we should be able to rise above it. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it, there is nothing to feel guilty about. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. By peeling away the layers of your jealously, you can reach self-awareness. Projection, envy, and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. Look at the reality, the truth behind what you are feeling. It has nothing to do with what youve read in a novel or saw in a movie; it has nothing to do with what youve been told you should feel; and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isnt the case at all. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment, guilt or anger. These all grow out of expectation. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations, they are not who you expected or wanted

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them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them, they still dont meet your expectations. Once you release the anger, the resentment and the hurt, you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. Fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of not being worthy of love. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You arent clever enough or you dont have enough money. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you arent exciting enough. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. Perhaps you fear abandonment. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. By looking deep within, we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. They come from our past, our childhood, or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. If you are experiencing jealously, look deep within yourself at these feelings; frequently they are not real, they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. When you attempt to possess another person, you become yourself possessed. You become vulnerable. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be, what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. If you find yourself doing this, then what you are experiencing is not love, but attachment. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear, what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. When you love, you can watch that love radiate out for all. If you love someone, go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is, and let that be who you are, let that guide you. Surrender to it. Open your heart and mind to it. You do not need to experience jealously. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. You can choose to move away from those feelings. Hypnosis can help. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness.

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K KARMA, KISMET

KARMA
In its most basic form, karma is the concept of action or deed in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu, Jain, Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions, but generally the concept is basically the same. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past, present and future and because of this, we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits weve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. In religions that incorporate reincarnation, karma extends through ones present life and all past and future lives as well. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction that governs and controls all life. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives, all of which determine our future. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. There is no judgment involved. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not, is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldnt. Just a thought, maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life.

KISMET
Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or, if you prefer, by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable, or alternatively, that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Most people

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associate Destiny with fate, but fate makes no allowance for free will, which is a huge component of the human psyche. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solders belief that there is a bullet that has your name on it or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was meant to be. Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history, it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isnt acceptable to most people. There are those who believe that ones destiny may be ascertained by divination. In the belief systems of many cultures, ones destiny can only be learned through a shaman, prophet, saint or seer. In the Shang dynasty in China, turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. As stated above, although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably, fate and destiny are not the same. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. Fate implies no choice, and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person; but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. If you are not satisfied with your life, stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. Step in, participate and change the direction you are heading.

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L LAW OF ATTRACTION, LIFE, LOVE, LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION


The Law of Attraction What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. The concept of the law of attraction is, What you think about will happen in your life. Its about where you put your focus. Its easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. The old saying, Let the chips fall where they may, is a good analogy. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups, if you dont know what you want to create then you wont get it. I am continually surprised how many people dont know what they want. If you dont know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one, that can help you with exactly that. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. For example, if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250,000.00 a year income. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. What ever it is, start by writing it down. If you were writing a novel you wouldnt hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page.
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The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. Its not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe, allowing it to happen is vital. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. You have made it clear. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. Now that you have set this up, pay attention to what happens next. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. Your probably arent allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. If someone really believes they dont deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call, etc. Now the key here is to follow up with this. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. You asked for what you wanted, you then attracted it, now grab it. I promise you it will show up, your job is to notice it and then do something about it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said, pay attention. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake, talk to those people. There is something there to be learned or gained. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought, dont panic. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. Dont worry that it doesnt look exactly like you thought it would, that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes

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in a different package. originally thought of.

Be open to going about it in a different way then you

When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back, that is the Universe telling you go.GO! Weve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! As a being of power, intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation, and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC, Qualified Life Coach Official Guide and expert for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.com. As a Life Coach / Business Coach, I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Individual Coaching, Group Coaching, tele-classes and resources are offered. Go to my web site for more information. www.qualifiedlifecoach.com

LIFE
These thoughts are from my friend Brisa, a very wise woman, who has no idea that she is. A friend of Brisas said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. Hed had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years, but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. She told him something I want to share with all of you, she said You didnt waste those years, you used them to learn about yourself. Not only that, you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. None of us can compare our lives to others because we arent living that life. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. The sooner we realize and accept that, the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. And I realized as she told me this, life is messy. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. If we dont like the fact that life is like this, the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. So live your life, whatever that may entail because thats your life. It is never wasted and it is never lost. You never, maybe

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just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had.

LOVE
Compassion
I dont like Valentines Day, never have. Im not sure why exactly, maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentines Day forcing us to think that if we dont receive that special present, those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesnt really love us enough or maybe we just arent special enough. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers, candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular event. I was reminded recently, though that Valentines Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here, living this life to experience love, all kinds of love. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache, healing, romance, sex, trust , compassion and faith. Valentines Day should be and is for every person whether you are single, dating, partnered, married or alone. The message really is that you need to be in love with you; understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion, some which I like and others not so much. First, compassion. A noun. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others, often including a desire to help. then, Compassion (Com-passion), v. t. Definition: To pity. [Obs.] Shak. [I dont care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best, the definition of compassion is: Wanting others to be free from suffering. When we talk about compassion, each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first, then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. I know, I can see you all now rolling your eyes, but yes, even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores, or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding, you are perfect. That doesnt mean you cant still grow and change, you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to.

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Another thing that is so important to remember, something I refer back to again and again throughout this book, you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know), the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O.K. Instead of listening to that old record, that negative voice in your head, why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel, where a loop of everythings just as it should be repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness, your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered, lazy or self-indulgent; then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining, then someone else, someone around you, someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves, in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults, then maybe, just maybe those people whose lives we touch, those we live with, work with or just come into contact with, can start to love themselves as well, with all their faults. Give yourself a break, treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. Thats a motivating cause worth fighting for, one that you can get behind; and, in the process, heal others and yourself, as well.

LUCK
Dont you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people, places or events that you attract for one reason for another. Luck is a real, measurable phenomenon. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. My only question to your would be this, Are you ready to be lucky? Are you ready to allow all the lucky, wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make, nobody can make it for you.

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M MALE DEPRESSION, MIND-BODY CONNECTION, MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION


The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek, February 26, 2007 article, six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007; and this is just the tip of the iceberg, because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how mens emotions affect their behaviors and their health. In the past, depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem, the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. It wasnt considered a manly illness to have, not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Waynes death) or dying in battle. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug, sex, gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i.e., the addiction issue) rather than the true cause, the depression and the cause of that depression. In addition, Depression may look like a single disease, but the underlying causes vary, and so do the ideal treatments. Michael Craig Miller, M.D. (Harvard Medical School). This can make treatment especially difficult. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks, strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. During the past 50 years, American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. And yet, with all these statistics facing us, men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones, the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak, certainly not for a real man. Depression can manifest in many different forms. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another, or even make the depression worse. As Dr. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article, No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become, good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being

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If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel, then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight, smooth and without bumps or potholes. Sometimes, there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. There are detours that we must take. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. During the course of this journey and these detours, we sometimes find that we encounter trigger points. These trigger points are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield, but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger, hurt, fear, guilt and depression. When this occurs, subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships, or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason; we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about, without wanting or meaning to. When you recognize that this is occurring, it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity, ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. With the aid of hypnotherapy, you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly, the healing process. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. When you release the hurt, bitterness, resentment, fear or anger that you are experiencing, you take back control of your own life. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy, love and happiness beyond measure. This is not easy. As Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, a Harvard psychiatrist and author of Dare to Forgive states, Forgiveness has to be cultivated; it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. Trying to accomplish this by yourself, without help, using only your conscious mind can be a slow, difficult and painful process; however, by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious, it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. Working from the inside out, releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. As I quote above, Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious says Adrian Calabrese, Ph.D., Womans World, October 18, 2005. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues, helping you regain strong mental-health, freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. Using

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any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book.

Mind Body Connection


Smile and the world smiles with you. Think happy thoughts and make your world better. Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health, but our physical body as well. Holding onto anger, hostility, resentment, hurt, fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. In addition, chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking, can lead to serious food addictions, eating disorders, alcoholism, drug abuse and depression. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men, optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga, meditation, imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. This has been proven by Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer, a German physician. With the help of 20,000 brain scans, Dr. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion, the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. Scientists say they have found that one of the bodys good mood chemicals forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitts lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease, including diet, pathogens,
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exposure to toxic substances, etc. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger, hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. In addition to nurturing your mind, taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar, white flour, etc), synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters, vaccines, pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves); and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables, emphasizing as many raw foods as possible, whole grains, fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book, what you focus on is what you will bring into your life; if you focus on anger, anger is what you will bring into your life, and this applies to any negative emotion. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion, thought or image. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Believe me, I have been there and there is a way out, but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Meditation works, yoga can help, Ive found that hypnosis works even faster by talking directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you, use it and use it frequently, stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body, but to your thoughts as well. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Take control of your own thoughts and actions; guide them in a positive direction, more than just your emotional well being is at stake, your physical health is at risk as well if you do not.

MIND SUCCESS
Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti, Ph.D. Success is largely an inner game. It requires that you develop a success mind. This is a way of thinking, a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. Success is a process of continually learning new information, keeping track of what is working and what is not, and

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making adjustments as you keep moving forward. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped, exploring one more option or opportunity. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. You will have to change to be successful. This is one of the laws of success. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of hard work, fear of what other people will think, fear that we are not good enough. The success mind trains itself to ask, So what? Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives, knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things, the less we fear them. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education, conditioning, and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Develop a process to examine your fears, discover the underlying limiting beliefs, and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity, hardship, and failure. Yet, if you talk to any star athlete, inventor, or successful businessperson, they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. You dont need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists), you simply need to start. Take action, learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward. Gather new information, make adjustments along the way, and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. While success requires action, possibility is in the dreaming. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams, generate new ideas, foster creativity, see unlimited possibilities, and create new realities. Take time to dream. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends, but also change the world. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big.

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Believe in yourself and in your dreams. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. Mental toughness, determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying yes to opportunities. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities, your world and your success. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life, you will create even more opportunities for growth, adventure, and success. Not simply because you say yes, but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities, you likely will feel fear. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. As you create a habit of responding with a yes, you will see that the how usually falls quickly into place. Remember, you can always say no later if it isnt what you needed or if it isnt getting you closer to your desired way of living. But once you say no to an opportunity, the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. When you say yes, make it a resounding yes! Dive in. Question, challenge, think, experience, create, form opinions, try on new perspectives, and grow. As you do this, watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Once youve experienced a higher level of success in life, you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. You continue to grow. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life, the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. It is never too late to develop your success mind. The time to begin is now. Your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports

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success and rewards your effort. Stop caring what other people think. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Dream big and take consistent, directed, and smart action. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results, make corrections, redirect the effort, engage again and refuse to quit. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. Mollie Marti, Ph.D., J.D., is President of Best Life Design, Inc. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger, better, happier, and healthier lives. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Visit her at www.bestlifedesign.com or www.molliemarti.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist, lawyer, mediator, performance coach, and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.

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N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming


Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Robert Dilts, Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology, linguistics and computer science. There is, however, disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions, training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. Unfortunately, NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique; and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research, this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. Despite its rough start and despite its numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Corballis who said in 1999 that NLP is a thoroughly fake title, designed to give the impression of scientific respectability), the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field, but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication, management training, sales, sports, and interpersonal influence; and many of the techniques used such as anchoring, reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. Frequently when NLP is mentioned, it is referred to in the context of the power of the mind and such claims as you can achieve anything. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. However, for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy), NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further.

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O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life


Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you cant remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. Thats only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. Its about making smart decisions with your time and money. Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we dont come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis youve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN


Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any exercise and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be turned down with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It lets you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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medications for reasons I dont need to discuss here, and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work, I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force, fire, passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success, focus (if you have a problem with Orange, use Yellow) money, growth, health healing, peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection

The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. Dont be surprised if that color changes from time to time. Also, remember that red not only represents life force, it is a very hot color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain, red would probably not be the best color to use. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. You dont have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise, it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. Use it for minor headaches. It works great!

PERCEPTION
Over the years Ive come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they dont even respect or admire. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident, occurrence, activity, situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. Whether it makes us happy or sad, have feelings of joy or hopelessness, think we are making progress or stagnating; is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. You have the power to change your perception.
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This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal; the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. Sometimes, though, it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool, this power, to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. It may seem like a gift in the beginning, but it is not a gift at all. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. Take control, take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. Perception is a powerful thing, control it and use it wisely.

PHOBIAS
If you have ever had a phobia, you know how debilitating it can be to your life. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. Depending on the phobia, it can make your life almost unbearable. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. There are a variety of techniques that can be used, but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. It can be done in person and over the phone. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. Basically, this is how it works. After you are put into a hypnotic state, your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions, getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. Once you have faced your phobia, you are ordered to let it go and release the image. You are then taken back to the phobia again, and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia, the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. By the time your therapist is done, there will be no emotional response. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. But the results tend to be permanent. If you are suffering from a phobia, dont hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Relief is truly immediate.

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PROSPERITY
Prosperity As A Way Of Life Prosperity is a way of living and thinking, and not just money or things. Poverty is a way of living and thinking, and not just a lack of money or things. Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living, thinking and dreaming. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. In order to accomplish this, however, it may be necessary to make some changes. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. Frequently they are a result of fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, even fear of success. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer; maybe its time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. Prosperity and abundance arent just about money and possessions, prosperity includes a rich, joyful and full life filled with love, happiness, fun, fulfillment and yes, money as well. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams, blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity, abundance and success so I dont think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success, both written by Dr. Mollie W. Marti, you will enjoy them immensely.

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Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting


In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting, however, as I started to research this a bit, I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics, Quantum Electrodynamics (QED), Unified Field Theory, Quantum Gravity, String Theory, Superstring Theory, M-Theory, Grand Unified Theory, Loop Quantum Gravity, Theory of Everything, Supersymmetry, the Copenhagen Interpretation, Schroedingers Cat, EPR Paradox, the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin, in about three or four paragraphs! So, instead, you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world, because what was a mechanical, external universe, has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment; in addition, the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see, hear, taste, touch, smell, and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. However real and external these images may seem, they are all phenomena within the mind. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure, it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. We can see it, touch it, and hear it. It appears undeniably to be out there, around us, independent and apart from us, standing as a physical world, utterly real, solid, and tangible, separate from us. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more out there than are our own dreams. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us, and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. In the dream it all seems very real. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Time, space, and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. They exist within consciousness; not the other way around.

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So, what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell, your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. Your body will follow your minds commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. Cool, huh? So, if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition, it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality, the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious, and theres only one real way to do that. Hypnosis!

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R RELATIONSHIPS, RELEASING, RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS


Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy, fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are, congratulations, you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. However, if you are not, read on. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. Unfortunately, the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed, how they can come apart, why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. First, when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction, I am referring to a persons sexuality and when I refer to sexuality, I am talking about just how we each relate to others, our behavior patterns. These two distinct types, emotionals and physicals really are misnamed. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved; and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. In addition, it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. It is the physical who yells, possibly even throws things when angry, cries or screams when upset; and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks.
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Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique; many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. And boy do they do relate. Lets cover very briefly, what the priorities of each are. For the physical, the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. Next would be their children, then their friends and hobbies and finally career. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. The emotional, on the other hand, is quite a bit different. Their first priority is their career, then hobbies, next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. When I say E&P attraction, I really do mean attraction. In relationships, opposites really do attract and most people dont realize just how true this is. This is natural, normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Its rather like radar and allows us to find each other. And thats a good thing. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. Lets take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. With the physical female, the relationship is of primary importance to her. To her partner it is his career. When they first meet, they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. She is happy, outgoing, self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment, acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. But lets look into the future several months. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working, he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority, his career. So he starts spending more time at work, longer hours at the office. When his partner complains that they never see each other, he cannot understand why. After all, they see each other every night what more could she want and why. She on the other hand, as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for; but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident, secure and

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independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that, without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. What can be done about this. Plenty. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. When you understand how the other thinks, you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. Remember, communication is key to any successful relationship. With communication you can understand each other, understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together.

RELEASING
Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. Release anger, sadness, fear and guilt, to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life, to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose, to get clear on your goals for the future, to focus on what you want and whats important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. When we are healthy and balanced, releasing occurs naturally. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to instruct the subconscious to release. This is done through imagery and suggestion. The process is quick, pleasant and you feel great afterwards. Sometimes, though, there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious, long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues, it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time, it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. Interestingly enough, the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective.

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The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you, you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions, anger, hurt, fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. Both techniques are effective, both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new, positive thoughts, ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. If you feel that you may need some releasing work, use your downloadable sessions first. If your subconscious is ready, it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. That may been all you need at this time.

RITUALS FOR SUCCESS


Success Rituals: When Same Old Same Old Is a Good Thing

By Mollie Marti, Ph.D.


Its not that you dont want to give your full attention to the task in front of you, it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. Negative expectations, doubts, fears, anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind, body and emotions. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity, unpredictability and lack of control. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. These factors can quickly decrease your minds ability to take in, process and recall information. They also decrease your ability to focus on whats important at the time. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental, physical, and emotional states. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing

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several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. You rest before hand and when its time to engage and get something done, you are ready for it. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. As you add them to your day, you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Many rituals are quite simple. For example, taking in a deep breathe, exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings, preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed, allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. These types of performance routines consist of ten components, five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful, see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task, consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. Think and say, I expect to perform or I expect to do my best. Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. You wake up and your first thought might be, Its too early or I so dont want to go to work today. Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. Its gray and cloudy. Its going to be a gloomy, boring day. Dont give away your power to other people or things. Rather, make a choice to expect positive results, each and every day. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. You spend mental, physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks, from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. You give energy away to other people, over the telephone, to your computer, reading a book, and in countless other interactions. As you spend energy during the day, build in ways to recoup your energy. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. Rest is any activity, in and of

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itself, which is pleasurable and restorative. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. For example, after working at your computer for an hour, it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. After a 90-minute presentation, you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls, you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep, rhythmic breathing. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that youre then just trying to regain lost ground. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so youll have energy available to draw from when you need it. Influence Management: Before any performance, you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. When you carry negative emotions like fear, nervousness, frustration, anger, fatigue, guilt, and anxiety, you are less able to concentrate on your task. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called pitching. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion, linking it with a unique physical action, and discarding the emotion. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand, it gives you an amazing competitive edge. While the person next to you is not fully present because hes still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning, you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. Its important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem, it still will be there after youve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. Youve

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simply applied a band-aid. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue, the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what youre doing at the moment, even if it is a good thing, can be viewed as a distraction. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. Before you perform, select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. Your focal point should be stationary so its available any time you need it. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. She chose a cloud as her focal point. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . . . it also had drifted off. If you are in your office or in a conference room, you might choose a banner, a piece of art, or a clock on the wall. As you travel or perform in different locations, try to use the same type of focal point. Any time you get distracted, consciously look at your focal point. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking, OK, back to my task. Refocused! Engagement Cue: Its important for peak performance to fully prime your mind, body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Yet, its not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. You also need to tell your body its time to go. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. It immediately precedes the performance and says, Go! I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance, but when it came time to start, they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. This leads to a less than stellar performance. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!) with an emotion (Im ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind, body and emotions that it is time to perform. A tangible engagement cue, such as a doorframe, works well. If you travel, you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. For example, prior to a presentation or meeting, as I walk in the door or up to the podium, I image a red line on the floor. As I cross the line, I turn on my full engagement.

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Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus, concentration, and success. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life, even if you dont call it a success ritual or routine. If you cannot identify your rituals, ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. As part of this process, become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. Common ones are the misuse of drugs, alcohol, and food as relaxation or coping techniques. A close companion is the use of stimulants, including caffeine and adrenaline, to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind, body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. This means that if you get away from your rituals, it wont feel right. It will throw you off. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals, they will provide great consistency. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines, you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. Mollie Marti, Ph.D., J.D., is President of Best Life Design, Inc. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger, better, happier, and healthier lives. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Visit her at www.bestlifedesign.com or www.molliemarti.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist, lawyer, mediator, performance coach, successful entrepreneur, and working mother to help others design and live their best life.

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S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE


Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what its like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

SELF-TALK
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really dont want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we cant do something or its too late or its too hard. That voice that makes us afraid well fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says I cant and change it to I will!

STRESS
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that weve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you might encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? Its the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

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to be one of the first things that goes. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Unfortunately, when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger, depression, fear, worry, exhaustion, irritability, impatience, etc. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses, causing irritability and nervousness. Almonds, apples, apricots, brown rice, garlic, leafy vegetables, spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Calcium. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. Calcium rich foods are almonds, asparagus, broccoli, cabbage, kale, kelp, mustard greens, oats, prunes, salmon, seafood, sesame seeds, tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Vitamin B6. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. You need eat more avocados, bananas, fish, spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. Vitamin B12. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress, such as hormonal imbalances, blood sugar fluctuations, chronic fatigue, depression, irritability, moodiness and nervousness. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12.

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Folic acid. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine, the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. Foods rich in folate are asparagus, barley, brown rice, dates, green leafy vegetables, legumes, lentils, mushrooms, oatmeal, oranges, root vegetables (such as potatoes, carrots and turnips), salmon, tuna and whole grains. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. Bottom line though, is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism, you must relax. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. In addition, though, you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. Kiss. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss, our cortisol levels drop. Sing. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. Walk. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. This isnt a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Call a friend. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners, I know mine always have been). Squeeze a squishy ball. Start squeezing something, such as a squishy ball, to work away your tension. As Irina Wardas says: I always tell my clients: if we dont take care of ourselves, nobody will, but if something happens to us, who will take care of our children, our family? So let us be stress smart. Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas, a founder of NaturalCounselor.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite, mood swings, insomnia or lack of energy. For more information about her Womens Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats, or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks DeStress-101 and Detox-101 visit her website: http://www.naturalcounselor.com

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STUCK (OR NOT)


Have you ever felt stuck? You know, that nasty feeling that theres nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. I know I have. I used to feel that way often. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesnt come anymore and I want to share this information with you. According to the laws of physics, there is no such thing as being stuck. Energy is constantly in motion. If you understand that, then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that, a feeling. It isnt a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past, but to the energy of the present moment. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your ex, the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. For example, if you are having a problem with money, it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are stuck in debt. Just remember this Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. If you find the same situations appearing over and over again, the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations, then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. If you wake up today focusing on debt, youll attract more debt for tomorrow. If you wake up today affirming an illness, youll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday, youll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. As Abraham Hicks explains: Sometimes we hear you say Im stuck and we say No youre not stuck, because you cannot stand still. You cannot stop emitting a
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vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. Its changing but its changing to the same thing. So, how can you feel unstuck? Its very simple, really. You need to make room for change. You dont have to create change, you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have, that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out, speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind, releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. In a pilot study published in 1999, Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes, Ph.D., showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. In a follow-up experiment published last year, Ginandes and her research team found that women whod had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. During the sessions, the women were encouraged to think of pain as sensations of healing and to visualize their incisions knitting together rapidly and becoming strong, smooth, and elastic. An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. The groups judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Were not just talking about people simply feeling better. Ginandes says. Were talking about structural tissue healing. Hypnosis, our results suggest, can influence the body to heal itself. Hypnosis cant make you do things they you want to do, but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. Patients who suffer from panic attacks, for example, can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. Pain sufferers, meanwhile, can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background, says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson, Ph.D. And, the truth is, for most people, it doesnt matter why it works. It is only important that it does. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.

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T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY


Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line, you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. If its behind you, to the left or to the right. There is no correct answers, it is what feels best for you. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. When you have determined the directions of past and future, look down on the Time Line, imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Take your time with this, maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Remember, the more you visualize or imagine what you want, the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. Just remember that when working with the past it isnt necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event, just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. Remember, the more you focus on old negative thoughts, the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that dont do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. Take responsibility for your life and direction, for you happiness and your abundance, your love and your joy.

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U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE


Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful, bad things just happen. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. Perhaps you didnt do what you should have when you should have. You procrastinated, you stuck by the wrong person, you made a mistake. It can look that way to others. Id like you to consider another alternative. Ive been through some really difficult times in this life. Without getting specific about each of them, I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision, I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. It might not have looked that way to others, but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. They cant possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. They cant experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. Sometimes what you need, all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. You dont need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes youve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). What you need is just someone to say Im sorry this happened and Im here for you. You need them to tell you to be strong, to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. Its amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love, even if they cannot give it back. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it lets you find your way back from the dark places into the light.

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V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE, VICTIMHOOD, VISUALIZATION


In any manifestation work that you may be considering, the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. These are:

VALUE AREAS OF LIFE


Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development

These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. For example, Spirituality, one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality; another may practice Hinduism, while another may be a Wiccan. You dont have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships, etc. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed, but I think this works better:

Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality

Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development

Before you can manifest something into your life, you need to define what it is you want. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. First, find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. Picture yourself at age 80, 85, 90, whatever feels right.

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Now think back over your life. Think about all the value areas of your life. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. What value areas of your life are you happy with. What areas cause you regret. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Remember, many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow.

VICTIMHOOD
Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that weve done, but not only that, frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Most things or events arent intrinsically right or wrong, we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them, or even the perceptions of our family, friends, church and society. What you might think is wrong, I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy, there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if its right for you, is you. If it is what you believe, then your perception makes it right. However, if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different, then youve got a problem. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive, but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other, to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Figure it out early, are you really meant to be together, can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship, rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. But Victimhood isnt just about relationships. Lets say something unpleasant happens to you. Something very unpleasant. Perhaps you are abused, mugged or even raped. You might get angry, you will certainly feel violated, but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft.

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I want you to consider something. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh, initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. But just take a moment now and really think about it. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim, you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from, and society actually encourages this thought. Here in the U.S. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. But, isnt there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isnt it time to stop? I think its time to acknowledge your power, to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun, happiness and joy available to each of us. But now, lets look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood, it means you are not responsible for anything. Its not my fault I cheated on my wife, its because Im in a bad relationship and its not my fault Im in a bad relationship, my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect, its not my fault! Its not my fault I cant commit to another person, my mother didnt understand me. Its not my fault I use drugs or drink too much, I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. Its not my fault I cant keep a job, my father was never there to teach me or guide me, my mother didnt give me enough love, my wife doesnt understand me, my husband ignores me, my kids dont show me any respect, my friends dont understand me, etc., etc., etc. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. And, if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. A rather sad, unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me, I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to Victimhoodland myself for a period of time. It wasnt fun, although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. Life, however, is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions, for what you do and what you say. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are, you can take back control and rediscover

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who you are. You had to be strong. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. The woman who has come out of a nasty, bad relationship and can keep on going, is powerful beyond belief. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big, beautiful heart and so much love to give. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us, each of us, just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact, we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. If we take back control, eventually, the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life; it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood, we lose everything. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live.

VISUALIZATION
More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. Simply, you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety; and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Fixing a problem in one place though, can often help the other. As stated in Womans World, September 26, 2006, Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking, because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress, boost your mood, feel more loved, build self-confidence, etc., etc. For example, thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security; thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. Remember, please, never

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practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down, depressed or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. If you are feeling down, this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Use the power of your mind, your imagination, your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in.

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W WEIGHT, WORDS, WOUNDS WEIGHT


Weight and Confusion Doesnt it seem as if all the doctors, scientists, dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First, something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what, its good again. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets, the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Not only that, the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best, the only diet that had ever worked for them. First one, included six small meals a day, the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. Confusing, you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon, before facts have actually been verified. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. Weve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesnt fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. The truth is, moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food, diet and weight; and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of, we just dont want to take the time to do it and we dont want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. If, however, you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes, you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be?

2. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i.e., refined, alcohol, bleached flour, etc.) 3. 4. 5. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight?

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6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight?

11. Has your mother, father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. Do you have cravings for salt?

13. Do you associate a person, place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Do you eat breakfast?

15. Out of all the food you eat in a day, what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship

Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal?

Once you have answered these questions, you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes.

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Now, having said all that, it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. More often than not, they include abandonment issues, a lack of fulfillment, satisfaction, confidence and happiness. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts, feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes.

WORDS
Sticks and Stones
Im sure youve heard that childhood saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. WRONG! Words have power. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation, you know that as strange as it may sound, it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. We heal from physical injuries, but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image, self-confidence, causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be, but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. You had to be strong. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Abuse victims, survivors, thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by using it, by working it, so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. You know
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because I say it over and over again, think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger, wider and stronger each and every day, eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. The same holds true for what you hear. This is why words do have so much power. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse, it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind, take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes, dreams and desires. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best, most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day, but not only that, throughout your life entire life. Think and dream about your future. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Also, I have to say this. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way, leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. But you are wrong. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Make some calls, find out what you can do, call out for help, someone will answer. But most of all, keep your thoughts strong. Your life depends on it After all, what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. As a matter of fact, this planet needs you, your talent, intelligence and compassion. And for each of us, please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child, wife, husband, lover, friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Once said they are out there forever. Saying you are sorry doesnt counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. And thats what venting to another is. Dont ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. Vent when you are alone, scream and yell and swear all you want. But when you are with someone you care about, think before you speak because despite that childhood saying. words can hurt you.

WOUNDS
Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. When this occurs, subconsciously we

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withdraw into ourselves, especially in interpersonal situations, we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason; or, we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. However, when things are going smoothly, you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. If you can do this, try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. If you do not feel ready for that, you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free, improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. Releasing sessions can work well with these. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt, much like arthritis in wet weather, can help. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this.

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X X SMOKER, DRINKER, BINGER ETC. TWO FUTURES


You want to stop doing something. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe youve decided that you need to stop drinking. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Whatever it is, you have a decision to make. Before you make that decision, I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking, drinking, binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Notice what you see. Notice how you feel. What do you look like. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly, very clearly. Wait 10-20 seconds. And now let those images fade completely away. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker, drinker, binger or whatever. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health, clear and easy breathing, the body you want, clear skin, energy, what is different and better. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Wait 10-20 seconds. Of these two possible futures in your life, are you now sure which one you want. When you have done this, the decision becomes easy, doesnt it?. Once you decide that you want to quit, your energy will flow in that direction. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. Make a promise to yourself. Make a commitment and a decision. You can choose to live your life, healthy, strong, vital, vibrant, powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction.

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Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT, YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT


Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in, you always have a choice. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you, your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. Everything in life is a choice. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love, success, a better job, joy, happiness, prosperity or anything on a conscious level, it does not mean you will receive it. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being, your entire belief system; your life script. For instance, you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home, but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being, you may never receive it. So, the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. Compare it to strength training. When you first begin to work your muscles, you can only lift a small amount of weight, but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting, you increase the muscles strength and ability. In making a choice, you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making, even if you dont truly believe it at the time. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build, and you will begin to see the results of your choices. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out.

YUMMY LIST
I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. It was created by by Holly Gleason of The Yummy List and Huffington Post.com, but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here.

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According to Holly, the Yummy List is a users guide to slowing down, looking around, paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about, check it out at www.hollygleason.com To me, a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside; its also anything that makes my eyes sparkle, makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. Whats really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list, check it regularly, revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life.

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Z ZEAL
Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person, cause, or ideal and the determination to further that person, cause, or ideal; it means a diligent enthusiasm. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor, intensity and passion. An antonym is apathy. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life, please do it with zeal and without apathy. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. Wouldnt you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest, fight for your dreams and your goals. And always remember this, your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal!

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EXERCISES:
The following series of exercises, imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that feel right to you. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best; but ultimately only you will know what works best for you.

ANCHOR
With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly, it is often helpful to use what we call an Anchor. Heres an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime youd like to feel this level of peace and relaxation, say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. You can also visualize this word in your mind. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. To make this even more effective, you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal.

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE


The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. There are 15 points, if one includes points nicknamed the karate-chop point, gamut spot, and the sore spot, but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesnt matter which hand. While you are doing these three karate chops, you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF.

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Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY, or AFRAID, or DEPRESSED, or anything you want changed.

TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping, you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky.

It doesnt matter which side of the body or which hand you use. Do what feels right for you. During the tapping process you state the problem such as overweight or weight issues or anxiety or fear or addiction or whatever is bothering you. This is not a sentence, you can use just one or two words. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can, but do each issue separately. You can go through the tapping process several times. Heres a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight, anxiety, fear, anything: Even though Im sometimes depressed, I accept myself deeply and profoundly.

Even though Im depressed most of the time, I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Even though it seems Im depressed all the time, I accept myself deeply and profoundly.

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Even though it seems Im depressed all the time, I love myself. And thats all there is to it. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once.

HEART FIRE IMAGERY


Heres the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back, uncross your arms and legs, take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. As you do this, slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit, visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. Perhaps it is now just a small spark, but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace, imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs, anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your, you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger, you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. And you know that when someone directs anger at you, you can take that anger inside and burn it away. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger, but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger, hurt, resentment or negativity away. And as your heart fire increases, your connection with yourself is complete. And as your heart fire increases, you also release all negative thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas and beliefs within yourself; by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. By burning away all anger and negativity, you open all pathways to love.

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PAIN
This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable, anyplace, it can be a room or someplace outdoors. Take yourself fully into this place. See it, smell it, hear it (i.e., at the beach, smell the salt, hear the waves and the birds, feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body, see the image). Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself, heal yourself and relax yourself. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath in and let it out, I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension, stress or anxiety from the past few minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or even years to be released. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place, taking this time right now for myself, letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5 4. 3 2 1 and zero deep relaxation. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky, I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4, and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. Then imagine or visualize white granules, like salt, imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color youd prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. If you feel like it and have the time, just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing, glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. If another color comes to mind, allow that color to flow in and out as well. Then when you are ready, you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. When you reach the
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number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body, feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times.

Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. You are in control and in charge of your body, emotions, thoughts and feelings. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Let go of all tightness within you. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself.

SNAPSHOT
The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you dont want any longer. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job, relationship, activity, yourself, or whatever it is your desire. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. After youve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. Heres an example of one of mine that might help you. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and, my guy and I are in love, happy and having fun together. Heres my snapshot. Im standing outside on my ranch next to my horses, theres a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. Im laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is Ranch.

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Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch, I say to myself RANCH. I keep saying ranch until that image, that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice, my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I vibrate with positive energy. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. I choose to forget past mistakes now, live in the moment and dream in the future. With my thoughts I create my new, positive delightful reality.

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Index 12-step programs .......................2, 113 Abraham Hicks ..............................107 abuse 5, 6, 26, 27, 34, 78, 94, 114, 118 acute pain.........................................86 addict .............................................2, 3 addiction .....2, 3, 32, 36, 76, 113, 121, 126 adrenalin ............................................8 Adrian Calabrese, Ph.D. ............30, 78 affirmations........3, 4, 45, 60, 101, 129 alcoholism..............................5, 76, 78 alternative programs ......................1, 3 Alzheimers .....................................30 anchor ............................................125 anger .....5, 6, 7, 12, 18, 28, 35, 36, 37, 47, 48, 50, 56, 66, 77, 78, 79, 94, 95, 97, 103, 104, 127, 128 anxiety 7, 8, 21, 33, 35, 36, 44, 47, 54, 55, 84, 88, 95, 97, 103, 105, 114, 117, 126, 128, 130 apprehension....................................21 Arreed Barabasz ..............................54 association .....................................2, 7 attraction ......24, 25, 71, 72, 92, 93, 94 baggage............................1, 32, 74, 89 balance ......7, 9, 10, 35, 38, 39, 41, 42, 104, 116 Bereavement ................................9, 10 binging ...........................................121 blood sugar ..................7, 41, 104, 105 Burkitts lymphoma...................38, 79 cancer..5, 6, 30, 35, 37, 38, 54, 76, 78, 79 Carol Ginandes, Ph.D. .............53, 107 Cheryl ONeil ..................................58 choice2, 19, 20, 22, 50, 52, 70, 96, 97, 110, 122 chronic anger .....................5, 6, 37, 78 chronic pain .....................................86 Circle Therapy .................................88 clarity 9, 21, 22, 23, 24, 45, 46, 57, 63, 110 communication .24, 25, 26, 64, 83, 94, 112 compassion ......... 27, 74, 75, 114, 119 confidence.... 6, 16, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 32, 58, 59, 60, 80, 81, 101, 114, 115, 118 consciousness 8, 14, 21, 46, 55, 86, 90 coronary disease................ 5, 6, 37, 78 cortisol .............................. 37, 42, 105 darkest hour .............................. 20, 21 David Spiegel............................ 53, 55 Dawn Abraham ............. 60, 63, 71, 73 depression ................................. 28, 76 desire.. 1, 2, 10, 21, 22, 44, 52, 65, 72, 74, 89, 102, 109, 112, 122, 125, 129 diet ............ 7, 31, 32, 38, 79, 104, 116 disease... 3, 5, 6, 30, 37, 38, 76, 78, 79 dream 1, 21, 27, 43, 44, 52, 81, 90, 94, 102, 119, 131 dreams 22, 27, 44, 52, 81, 89, 90, 102, 119, 124 drinking............... 5, 6, 42, 73, 78, 121 drug abuse....................................... 78 E&P attraction ................................ 24 eating disorders..................... 5, 31, 78 EFT ................................... 35, 36, 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .................... 12 Elvira Lang ..................................... 55 emotional freedom technique . 35, 125 energy .... 2, 21, 23, 32, 35, 36, 39, 43, 44, 46, 47, 60, 61, 62, 63, 71, 84, 91, 94, 96, 97, 98, 106, 116, 121, 127, 129, 130 epilepsy ........................................... 30 Eric Butterworth ............................. 89 fear 1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 15, 21, 33, 35, 37, 38, 43, 44, 45, 47, 56, 58, 60, 67, 77, 78, 80, 81, 88, 89, 94, 95, 97, 104, 106, 114, 126, 130 focus. 4, 19, 29, 31, 36, 43, 44, 45, 46, 48, 50, 53, 57, 58, 63, 70, 71, 79, 81, 87, 91, 94, 96, 97, 98, 99, 103, 106, 109, 123, 127, 129 food addictions.................. 5, 6, 32, 78 forgiveness............................ 7, 77, 95

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fulfillment ..........9, 10, 32, 47, 89, 118 Gary Craig .......................................35 goal .10, 21, 32, 45, 50, 51, 52, 56, 58, 103, 109, 117, 118, 129 grief....................11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 36 Guilt .................................................12 habit ...........................2, 28, 40, 81, 86 habits......5, 6, 28, 42, 78, 99, 109, 116 happiness ......9, 10, 32, 47, 63, 77, 89, 110, 113, 118, 122 Harvard ......37, 53, 57, 76, 77, 78, 107 healing ..10, 13, 15, 23, 38, 53, 58, 65, 74, 77, 79, 87, 107, 129 heart disease.....................................30 high blood pressure..........................76 Hridaya Yoga...............................7, 56 hurt..3, 5, 7, 10, 27, 34, 37, 47, 56, 65, 67, 77, 78, 79, 86, 95, 118, 119, 120, 127 hypersuggestible ................................8 hypnosis ....8, 9, 21, 27, 30, 33, 34, 36, 37, 39, 43, 46, 49, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 77, 78, 79, 85, 86, 88, 101, 107, 115, 119, 120, 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute .........32 hypnotherapy ....24, 47, 54, 58, 77, 83, 122 Ida Kendall ......................................32 illness 36, 38, 47, 59, 76, 79, 103, 107, 114 imagery ...7, 22, 39, 53, 56, 58, 59, 60, 78, 86, 87, 94, 95, 101, 115, 123, 125 immune suppression ..............5, 37, 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis................54 Irina Wardas ......................40, 43, 105 Jane C. Woods ...........................10, 17 Janet Luhrs.......................................84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .........................28 John Grinder ....................................83 John Kappas.....................................24 Journal of Clinical Psychology........36 joy .1, 6, 9, 10, 19, 69, 77, 79, 87, 110, 113, 122, 130 Judith DeLozier ...............................83

Law of Attraction...................... 63, 71 life force................................ 2, 44, 87 lose weight 4, 31, 43, 54, 58, 116, 117 medicine...................... 35, 53, 57, 125 men ........................... 6, 37, 76, 78, 93 message units ... 10, 21, 22, 46, 57, 84, 94 mood swings ....................... 7, 43, 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine .... 57 neural interconnections ................... 29 neuro pathways .... 26, 29, 30, 59, 109, 119 neuro-linguistic programming ........ 83 nitric oxide ................................ 37, 78 NLP................................................. 83 overload .......................................... 84 panic attacks.................................. 108 Parkinsons disease......................... 30 passive-aggressive ............................ 6 Pat Dennis....................................... 32 phobia ................... 7, 8, 36, 43, 88, 89 phobias.................................. 8, 35, 37 powerless .............................. 3, 6, 113 prosperity ...................... 1, 22, 89, 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ..... 4, 43, 54, 57, 58, 121 relationships24, 25, 29, 30, 37, 42, 44, 50, 58, 64, 67, 75, 77, 92, 93, 94, 111, 112, 120 relaxation ... 22, 37, 39, 42, 53, 54, 57, 77, 78, 79, 99, 105, 114, 125, 127, 128, 129 resentment.... 5, 35, 37, 47, 56, 66, 77, 78, 79, 127, 128 Richard Bandler .............................. 83 Robert Dilts..................................... 83 Roger Callahan ............................... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ................... 38, 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice........................................ 37 self-esteem .................... 5, 64, 67, 101 self-image ......................... 26, 32, 118 self-talk ................. 6, 21, 59, 102, 115 smoking........................... 5, 6, 78, 121 snapshot ............ 22, 30, 109, 110, 130 snapshot exercise

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Stephen Gilligan ..............................83 Stephen Kosslyn ..............................57 stress hormones .....................6, 37, 78 subconscious.4, 5, 7, 8, 10, 21, 22, 29, 30, 34, 36, 37, 39, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 75, 77, 79, 84, 85, 91, 94, 95, 101, 107, 109, 115, 122, 125, 128 subconsciously.......44, 65, 77, 85, 120 suicide....................5, 6, 37, 38, 78, 79 thought habits ..................................28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ......................................53 transformation................................107

trigger. 5, 6, 7, 30, 59, 77, 78, 95, 109, 114 triggering event ....................... 34, 109 triggers ................................ 2, 80, 110 Two Futures .................................. 121 value areas of life.......................... 111 victimhood .................... 112, 113, 114 visualization.................................. 114 weight ........................................... 116 Women................................ 6, 43, 106 wounds ................ 26, 47, 77, 118, 120 yummy list .................................... 122 zeal................................................ 124

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