1 Roger, the Homosexual Teacher By Elizabeth G.

Honaker With a title like the above, I can imagine the various reactions: Oh, no! Not another homophobe! Isnt that typical of those Christians? Always separating out people who are different from them! or maybe even Why cant we just acknowledge that everyone is entitled to do as they want? This is not a title I would have chosen. Its a title that Roger chose. He was my mentor when I did my student teaching, and he showed me a very telling face of homosexuality. And its that story I want to share with you now. The day before I actually met Roger, he called me to introduce himself. I was struck by the fact that he asked me two questions about myself (which I answered with one sentence each), and then he proceeded to talk for a half hour. Being a good listener, I patiently waited for another opportunity to tell Roger more about myself, but it never came. When Roger was satisfied that he had told me enough about himself to impress me, he hung up. I was nervous the next day, not because I had never set foot in a classroom I had been a substitute teacher for five years and a piano teacher for almost 20 but because I had another big issue to tackle at the same time I would be taking this enormous step towards an official teaching career. An acquaintance from church had called me barely ten minutes before Roger did, and had asked me to take care of her teenage son for two weeks. I was full of apprehension, because I knew the woman was a drug addict, and her request probably had more ramifications than she acknowledged at first. Was she going to jail? Was she going into drug rehab? My husband was going to interview the social worker involved while I was off getting my teacher credentials. But with a high-school age daughter at home and a son about to return to college, this whole situation had complex and worrying implications. (I will save the details and outcome for another time.) After checking in with the office, I was instructed where to find my mentor. I located him, and we exchanged pleasantries for exactly 20 seconds. Roger was obviously busy, and he made it clear that I was less important than his agenda. I was not flustered, however, because I had become used to dealing with all sorts of people while running the Christian bookshop Bread of Life Books in England for 6 years. I followed Roger to his classroom, and sat while he bustled around setting up things as he wanted them. When I offered to help, I was told that he did not need my help. All I needed to do was sit at the side desk (a recycled students desk) that Roger had placed near his own teachers desk. This I did for the next half hour. I spent the time taking in all I could the textbooks sitting on Rogers desk, the posters he had already fastened to the walls around the room, and the way he had arranged the students desk. All of these were important clues as to who this man was. When Roger was finally through with his setting up, he sat down at his desk and told me more about his teaching credentials (as if I had not received enough information the day before). He also informed me that his roommate had just died, and he showed me a picture of this man with the words, Isnt he beautiful? In seconds, I realized that Roger was a homosexual, and that he was trying to engage me in some sort of affirming process. But I wasnt there to either gush or to accuse. I wanted to see, now that Roger

2 had introduced himself by talking about what was uppermost on his mind (his sexual identity), when I would get the chance to talk about myself. But the opportunity still did not come. The long day dragged on, with Roger leading me all over the building and introducing me to people as he saw fit. It was obvious that there were people he like\ and there were people he didnt like. I asked no questions; I just listened and followed and greeted. By the end of the day, I had been given two pieces of information: Roger expected me to take his lunch duty (every other day) for the next 3 months (my term of study), and I was supposed to read anything you like in the textbook for one of the classes. I was a bit miffed at the former and shocked at the latter. According to my college advisors briefing when I applied for student teaching, my mentor and I were supposed to share lunchtime or parking lot duties (having been a substitute, I knew these kinds of duties very well and what they entailed). Roger made it clear that I was to be a sort of slave, and that I had better do everything he told me to do, or my evaluation would not be very useful. Although I at first tried to take it as a joke, later that week I realized just how nasty it could get if Roger decided to find fault with me. Unbeknown to me, he had already formed negative opinions of me. With only four more days until the students began to attend school, I expected that my mentor and I would hit the ground running when it came to lesson plans, shared duties, etc. Therefore, it was a real shock when Roger said to read anything you like. He refused to be pinned down as to anything specific I was supposed to do, so I decided to stop pressing for the moment. The only problem was that as the days of that first week wore on, Roger kept giving me the same line. I asked where he was starting in the textbooks (he had two preps); he said I didnt need to know. I asked what my duties were on the first day of school; Roger replied that I was his slave, his Vanna (a reference to a silent, fashionable woman on a popular game show) and that he would tell me what to do as he needed me. By the third day, this type of behavior was wearing thin, and I was beginning to get upset at the possibility that my 3-month student teaching would be a waste of time. In fact, that evening, my son, who had not yet returned to college, sat with me on the sofa as I sobbed my heart out over the negative signals I was receiving. I knew what classroom teaching was like; I also knew what it took to prepare adequately for even one day of class. Roger was not involving me at all, and though my Christian discipline had trained me to look for opportunities to serve, I doubted that decorating bulletin boards was exactly what I needed to prepare myself to teach high school English. Nor would it serve me well on a resume or recommendation letter! The first day of school came, and I arrived early, dressed in one of my super teacher outfits. Roger appeared in jeans and a golf shirt. He had urgent errands in various parts of the school, so I waited for him in the English office. Two other student teachers were there with their respective mentors, and it was obvious the former were quite nervous. I was more excited than nervous, so I sat calmly on a sofa. After all, I had given at least 100 Christian talks to various groups while running the Bookstore, and I was no stranger to the classroom. One of the student teachers asked me if I were nervous, and I replied that I wasnt. Roger was in charge, I explained, and I was quite happy to watch him work. It was totally true since I didnt really know what he was

3 going to do, besides handing out papers (which he had said I was to do at his signal) I had no choice but to sit and watch all day. The girls admired my calm, but I in no way boasted about it; I simply answered their question and tried to share some of the peace I felt. This innocent exchange was witnessed by all the comers and goers, including the department head. There was no reason, in my eyes, to hide what I truly felt: that I felt very calm. The D.H. a burly, gruff woman made no reaction at the time, but, as I was to learn later, she was very upset at my arrogance and lack of humility. The day went by quickly, as I recall. I listened (and noted) the way Roger introduced the class to his agenda and rules. He introduced me as a woman with a Masters Degree in Theology, which I thought a bit odd at the time, but as I was later to understand, set the stage for Roger (and by extension, his students) to dislike me. Fortunately, the Lord circumvented all these negative setups, so that His glory could be revealed. As the day ended, I tried to make myself useful. I began to see things I could do to help Roger, so I did these. However, he still called me his slave, and I decided to stop that habit as soon as possible. He still would not give me any more information on what he was planning to teach, but I knew I had been a help and not a hindrance, so I left the building on a high note. I have had almost 20 years to reflect on that period in my life, and I realize now that the issue of control was a big one for Roger, as it is for all American homosexuals. Their public outcry for recognition is not really directed at rights they perceive society has withheld from them. What they are really doing, subconsciously if not consciously, is to try to take back the dignity many of them lost in childhood or their teenage years. A little-known fact about homosexuals is that many, many boys are introduced to this lifestyle at an early age, either through an older mans sexual act or daredevil experimentation by mentally or spiritually unstable youths. Once the innocence of being celibate has been broken, nothing can put it back together again. So boys and then men violate themselves (and often younger versions of themselves) over and over, thinking that at least they can enjoy the sexual pleasure in lieu of having their conscience whole once again. I had no idea that things were to come to a head the second day of school. I showed up at the appointed time, checked in to the office, and reported to Rogers classroom. Rogers mood was rather icy and very sarcastic that morning. However, since my previous crying session a few nights prior, I had decided to call my college advisor if Rogers demeanor towards me did not change. It turned out this was to be the day it DID change. Roger taught first period, and I watched, trying to be helpful when I could. Second period was Rogers planning period, and he found fault with everything I said or asked. I could not process the anger in Rogers voice and demeanor. Finally, I went to the English office a few steps away, thinking that if I could have some coffee and a few quiet minutes to myself, I could somehow handle what was happening. There was another teacher there, also helping himself to coffee. Roger followed me into the office, and asked the other teacher to leave. Then he started pouring out his anger at me, calling me arrogant among other things. Totally shocked, I listened for a moment to the statements that were tumbling out of his brain

4 and mouth, and I decided I would not tolerate being a victim of this vitriolic attack. I put on my best teacher demeanor and started using my teacher stance to challenge this unwarranted and unprovoked behavior. After a few minutes of standing my ground and refusing the labels that were being heaped on me, Roger finally told me how he had formed these nasty ideas about me. For starters, on the day when he called me, he had asked me whether or not I had a Masters Degree. I had answered, Yes, I have a Masters in Theology. There was no reaction to this whatsoever on the day he phoned he did not even respond with a Thats nice. He had immediately changed the subject. Now, on this second day of school, he finally revealed to me that he had immediately judged me to be a Bible thumper, and was determined to thwart me preaching to [him] about [his] life. The Holy Spirit gave me a calm spirit, even though I was incensed that he had judged me in such a childish manner. I challenged him to reveal even one sermon I had delivered his way and he had to admit that I had not delivered any! It made me immediately aware of the fear and disgust that homosexuals have for any orthodox, biblical spirituality. They fear it because they know the Bible (both the Old and the New Testaments) condemn their sexual acts. They are also secretly disgusted at their lifestyle, but in psychological parlance, they transfer this disgust to the people who serve as triggers for their own inner feelings. The next point absolutely floored me. Apparently, the English department head, overhearing my arrogant response to my fellow student teachers, had judged that I needed knocking down a peg or two and so she had informed Roger that he had better do the job, and quick! I was stunned that another person in my chosen field had made so facile and so wrong a judgment about me after knowing me only a few days. Point by point and incident by incident, I successfully refuted each of the charges brought against me. I was much older than Roger, and that definitely contributed to my sense of certainty and feistiness. Furthermore, I knew I was a good teacher. It wasnt his place to dress me down as if I were his subordinate. All of this nonsense needed to be debunked, and I wasnt going to rest until I had spoken my mind. I stubbornly made him pay attention to what I said. After a half hour, Roger realized that I wasnt going to back down, but he was convinced that I was going to ask for another mentor. By this time, I had decided that, if I could at least command his respect, I would stay where I was and not request another mentor. I knew he was a good teacher, too, and that I could learn from him. But even as I shocked him with my announcement that I didnt want a new mentor, I made it abundantly clear that he was not to refer to me as his slave ever again. I also made it clear that I considered myself his equal in rank, if not in knowledge. I asserted that my 20 years of teaching piano had been as valuable on this earth as his dozen years of teaching English. Finally, I saw what I needed to see on his face: respect. ***** I wish I could say that things markedly improved from that day on. They did from Rogers perspective. He began to show that he trusted me, and I did everything I could to prove I could be trusted, without compromising my own convictions. Without any prying on my part, he revealed that his roommate had died of AIDS, and that he,

5 himself, had the disease. This caused me some concern, because I knew for a fact that AIDS is more communicable than has been publicly admitted by medical authorities. However, I also take Jesus words literally about fearlessly handling dangerous things like snakes when we are entering the battleground on behalf of the Kingdom of Heaven (Mark 16:17-18), and I left everything about the situation up to God. I consciously prayed for a covering by His Holy Spirit, and I feel that He blessed me in this regard. To his credit, I never witnessed any overtly homosexual behavior directed at his students (I later found out that most, if not all, of Rogers colleagues including the principal knew that Roger was a practicing homosexual.) He did, however, have certain quirks which disturbed me: He constantly harped on the unsanitary aspect of the water fountains in the school (which, after my inspection, made no sense; they were no different from any other fountains with the same state of cleanliness that I saw in other schools). I believe he was projecting his own awareness that he, himself, risked spreading the HIV virus to other people in the school. Another quirk which disturbed me, but which I was not in a position to debate, was Rogers criticism of any Christian content in the literature (especially American literature) that he explored in the course of his classes. A case that illustrates my point is the preach-in he organized when the textbook covered Jonathan Edwards Revolutionary-Era sermon Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. Each student in the class was required to preach, imitating Edwards tone and rhetoric, and the most outlandish parody (and, by extension, the most ridiculous) was awarded a prize. Roger believed (and constantly reminded his students) that the concept of sin was oldfashioned and causes strife, division, and unpleasantness among modern Americans. I was helpless to protest. The only recourse I had was to explain, whenever I had an opportunity, that a sense of sinfulness was instrumental for us to align ourselves with Gods righteousness and purpose for our lives. As one can imagine, these opportunities came few and far between. What became obvious to me from the outset was that Roger constantly battled his own inner demons of anger and bitterness. When we were alone during our free periods, he had a tendency to rant on about the injustices he had suffered in his teaching career. On one occasion, he said, he had been hurriedly transferred from one school district to another because, as the high school newspaper sponsor, he had wanted to print a rather lewd cartoon promoting homosexual tolerance. (He showed me the cartoon; I was speechless at how graphic it was.) He told me more than once how he had longed to be a Methodist minister, but his attraction to little boys disqualified him. He did not explain exactly how he had entered the homosexual lifestyle, but he indicated that it was at a young age. I wondered how he could not see that his behavior was deviant, and not (even in the 1990s) what society would tolerate. He sometimes called me in the evenings, after he had taken his meds, and spoke much less militantly. Once or twice he spoke about trying to be normal. It was then that I could ask him questions about Who he thought Jesus was. It was obvious that he longed to call himself a follower of Christ, but he hinted that his failings (he never referred to sin, to my recollection) had to be overcome before he could commit. I never got very far trying to explain the free gift of the Gospel, because any time he thought I was witnessing to him, he would find an excuse to end the phone call.

6 The days of my student teaching became weeks, and the weeks became months. Although I never gave Roger the approval of his lifestyle that he seemed to want, I made it clear that I could commit to being his friend, in the same way that Jesus became the friend of tax collectors and sinners (Matthew 11:19). Rogers angry, sarcastic, and bitter mentality was gradually replaced by a more cooperative, even helpful spirit. He liked to refer to us as Batman and Robin, and I allowed him his humorous references, as long as he did not bring any sexual overtones into our conversations. I took every opportunity I could to talk about the ordinariness of my church experience in other words, I emphasized that ordinary Christians are not bent on denouncing groups of people (including homosexuals), but are seeking ways to love others in Jesus Name. I was able to point out once or twice that the Bible an unchanging source of truth about God and Christianity was a foundation, not a sledge hammer. By the end of our professional time together, Roger revealed his longing to be a part of church life again. I encouraged this, but was disappointed when he chose to join a so-called homosexual church. Run by two homosexual partner-pastors, the congregation had built a complex out in the middle of nowhere, and sought to minister to homosexual and lesbian couples. Evidently, there were no straight congregants. It does not take much intellectual processing to note the differences between a true Christian church and a truth-selective establishment, as this obviously was. To a true Christian, picking and choosing which parts of Gods Word to proclaim and follow is anathema. The mark of cults and truth-selective organizations is their unauthorized emphasis on specific parts of the Good News, to the exclusion of the whole counsel of God (Acts 20:27). I have especially noticed that such organizations speak of Gods love in a very vague, touchy-feely way. Nevertheless, I believe that Gods grace can reach us in any location on earth, and so I kept praying that Roger would come into the light of the whole Gospel. The end of my student teaching and my passing of the Praxis exam made me eligible to teach. However, the two counties with which I was registered dragged their feet about completing the official interviews that were required before I could be hired for a permanent teaching position. It was well after the beginning of the New Year when a telephone call came, asking me to substitute-teach for an English teacher at Rogers school who was about to go on maternity leave. It so happened that this teachers classroom was directly across the hall from Rogers, so for a few weeks, Roger and I would have lunch together. Suddenly, though, Roger started to call in sick; it became obvious that his physical condition was deteriorating. One day, he called me to inform me that he was hospitalized, and asked if I could visit. I immediately made plans to see him. Roger was extremely thin and very weak. He told me that he might not be around much longer, and so we had a sort of good-bye. I asked him if he had any spiritual counsel (the hospital happened to be a Catholic institution), and he assured me he was OK spiritually. Other people were in Rogers hospital room, and a further chance to talk about Jesus and His Gospel did not present itself. Days later, I talked with him on the phone, and he told me that he had rallied and left the hospital. It was not long, though, before I received a phone call from a colleague at Rogers school, informing me that he had passed away. He thoughtfully gave me details about the funeral.

7 My husband and I had no trouble locating Rogers church, but we were immediately uncomfortable with the atmosphere. The congregants were not only homosexual and lesbian couples (markedly affectionate with each other), but there were several gay-affirming symbols placed around the sanctuary. Although I grieved at knowing that Rogers life had come to such a tragic end, the repeated reassurances by the pastors that Roger was in a better place were unconvincing and hollow. Knowing what I know about the holiness of a great and wonderful God, I felt their one-sided confidence in Gods love and mercy was misplaced. Jesus began His ministry on earth by preaching repentance from all sin as a precursor to accessing the Kingdom of Heaven (Mark 1:15). Paul also pointed out in his epistle to the Romans that the grace of God can only be appropriated once we completely submit our sinful will to Gods perfect will (Romans 6:1-5). There was no evidence, judging from the remarks delivered at Rogers funeral, that this particular community subscribed to this very essential aspect of the Gospel. The free grace seemingly advocated by homosexuals and other deviants seeks to declare itself free from Gods law. This so-called grace, that is free from Gods directive, relying instead on humanitys fallible perspective of what is permissible, makes no sense in light of what we know about the Creator. It is obvious that God created not only all of the physical universe, but all of Unseen Reality. Humans are made in Gods image, and not the other way around. Therefore, it stands to reason that God has complete and utter control over all aspects of life on earth and the immortality that He has granted to the human soul. We cannot dictate to the Lord of the Universe what He allows into His Heaven. Contrary to popular opinion, Heaven is not populated by bagel-eating angels, nor is it guarded by saints who allow people to enter via the back door. Heaven revolves around, and is completely dominated by, a glorious God Who outshines anything we can imagine. There is no separateness in Heaven; all immortal souls who enter in will be completely joined to the One Who created and reigns in Heaven (Revelations 5:13-14). I will confidently challenge any critic of the Bible who wishes to maintain that we can truly know anything about Heaven apart from this sacred Book. Indeed, the Bible is the only sacred writing in the entire world which provides numerous details about the afterlife many of which have been appropriated by modern people, such as the glory of angels and the concept of rest. Buddhism discounts the presence (or centrality) of God in Heaven; its main emphasis is on avoidance of pain and emotional involvement in our fallen world. Islam discounts the possibility of women having equal access to (or status in) Heaven; Paradise is for men who exploit their promised heavenly virgins. Hinduism discounts the possibility of Heaven being a fixed goal; according to its teachings, the desired state of Nirvana comes only after countless cycles of birth and death (and one cannot predict when that cycle will end). It stands to reason that the Creator of Heaven is the only one in a position to dictate the requirements to go there. Any other stance does not make rational sense. It is not my objective to announce where Rogers soul now resides. It is not my objective to pronounce that one or another homosexual or lesbian is a sinner; Gods word declares that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). I have shared the honest impressions I gleaned from a man who considered himself, first and foremost, a homosexual. I have detailed how his lifestyle informed his

8 character and behavior. I have spoken about attitudes and prejudices that he exhibited. It may be that Roger is not typical of those who follow this lifestyle, but, from what I have seen, homosexual activists all over America display the same characteristics of anger, bitterness, sarcasm, and aversion to the Word of God. In Gods Word, Jesus Himself declares that humanity falls into two categories: there are those who are His disciples, and there are those who are not (Matthew 12:30). According to Christs clear directive, I am not empowered to judge the mans status with God; I am, however, empowered by the same Gospel to judge the mans fruits (Matthew 7:13-27, John 7:24). By writing this, I have done the latter. And I it is my hope that your own judgment of the fruitlessness of this lifestyle will be aligned with Gods Word.

Bibliography Copan, Paul. Does the Bible Teach Reincarnation? Cabal, Ted, General Editor. The Apologetics Study Bible. Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2007. p. 1832-3. Copan, Paul. Who Are You to Judge Others? Cabal, Ted, General Editor. The Apologetics Study Bible. Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2007. p. 1417. It Isnt Gay: Former Homosexuals Tell a Story Few Have Heard. DVD. A production of American Family Association. Resource available through www.afa.net. McDowell, Josh D. Is the Bible Sexually Oppressive? Cabal, Ted, General Editor. The Apologetics Study Bible. Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2007. p. 987. Rae, Scott B. What Does the Bible Teach About Homosexuality? Cabal, Ted, General Editor. The Apologetics Study Bible. Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2007. pp. 1716-1717.