Lecture #8 Attachment: -kids grow attached to parents and vice versa -what is needed for a good parent/child bond?

1) Body contact -physical contact between parents and child fosters attachment -true for many species -e.g. Harlow study -what kind of artificial mothers do monkeys attach to? -cuddly/soft terrycloth mothers vs. wire mothers with food -the babies attached to the terrycloth mom -shows comfort matters more than food -> monkeys prefer attachment to terrycloth artificial mom over wire cage, nourishing mom 2) Familiarity -true for many species -many animals (chickens, ducks) have a critical attachment period - after hatching, babies will imprint/attach to the first moving object they see -imprinting a critical period for attachment; animal will follow and attach to the first moving object it sees -Konrad Lorenz - got chicks to attach to him instead of their mom -humans dont imprint -humans have no critical period - its a slow, gradual development -need cognitive advances like stranger anxiety, closeness, and memories -attach to people after they are familiar -securely attached children see parents as a secure base from which to explore the world and a safe haven in times of stress -how do you attach securely? 3) Temperaments -some kids are predisposed to attach securely -they are relaxed, easy-going -get upset when mom leaves, but are happy when she returns -other kids are naturally insecurely attached -they are irritable, always upset -act betrayed when mom leaves - scream when she leaves and ignores her when she returns -its hard to change temperament over childhood

4) Responsive parenting -some parents always look in on their kids, respond to them, know what they are doing, attend to their concerns, etc... -have kids who are more securely attached -other parents are not responsive, dont check up consistently -have kids who are less securely attached -can kids with insecure temperaments but responsive parents become securely attached? - monkey studies suggest yes Film -rhesus monkeys -2 types of personality: bold/daring, shy/timid -boldest babies have moms that are available when baby is frightened but does not interfere when baby explores -shy/clingy babies have nervous moms -newborn babies already have temperaments (e.g. reactive newborns become shy babies) showing genetic contribution -but can behavior change? - can they learn a different personality? -place reactive newborn with relaxed mother -2 months later, the baby is a bold monkey - complete transformation conclusion: responsive parenting can create secure attachments -Parenting styles -3 kinds of parenting styles 1) Authoritarian -expect obedience -parent imposes rules on children -very strict, might use more punishment than other parents 2) Authoritative -also have rules, but explain the logic behind them -can be demanding and strict but also responsive -may allow older children to have more of a say in making the rules 3) Permissive -feel child should have most of the control -submit to kids desires -undemanding -treat kids like little adults -use little punishment -research in how children develop

these in genes,

-the most self confident kids with the highest self esteem and social competence have authoritative parents -why? -may be that kids know what to expect from parents, so they have more control -but we dont really know why authoritative parents have these kids -could be that the parenting style causes traits, that the traits bring out the authoritative style parents, or some thing else causing both (e.g. good stable marriage, etc...) -as children get older, parenting style predicts the types of lovers they are -kids with responsive parents -> secure lovers -kids with cold/rejecting parents -> avoidant lovers -kids with ambivalent/avoidant parents -> anxious/ambivalent lovers (clingy) Social Development

Erik Erikson -stages of social development -at every stage, you are trying to resolve a basic issue -how you resolve it affects you for the rest of your life -e.g. -birth-1 year, issue: trust vs. mistrust - do your parents take care of you dependably? if yes: you learn to trust; if not, you learn mistrust -adolescence (teens into 20s), issue: identity vs. role confusion who is the real you? During adolescence, we confront the issue of identity vs. role confusion. We enter an identity crisis, trying out different possible roles- some people integrate them successfully, some dont -young adulthood (20s-early 40s), issue: intimacy vs. isolation you enter into close relationships and learn intimate love or become socially isolated