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An Innocent Wish
Muhammad.Awais.Tahir@gmail.com
In the name of Allah the beneficent, the Merciful
An Innocent Wish!
I’ve been taught that way. The extremely modest and pure feeling of love was mixed with the dirty lust. The
innocent cartoons I watched, the poems I read in my syllabus books, the novels I read, the stories I heard from the
society around and the actions of my classmates all watered the seed of confusion. Like everyone else, my innate
‘rule book’ would tell me that there’s something ‘bad’ in what the most of the society was doing. Like many others, I
decided not to get close to anyone from the opposite sex, and of course marriage was out of question. Then came
the time of temptation, I would get frustrated at times for no reason. Something inside me started troubling me. It’s
a long story how I managed the beast inside me and made friends with my soul. Then I was in a position to
discriminate the wrong from the right. Soon it was clear to me how love is one of the most beautiful things created
by Allah. I discovered that philosophy behind marriage and found it a beautiful spiritual bond, and found lust just an
‘attractive force’ to keep the bond strong and of course a source of continuation of the specie.
I was made to listen to incidents when people married the person they willed, and I was made to feel that was the
most grievous sin one could commit. The enormous financial pre requisites of marriage made me feel that it is like
an economical contract that would be way beyond my reach until I find a good solid job. I felt that the real enemies
of the marriage contract were the relatives, who would look for the smallest fault in the bride or the groom or in
their families. It was about time that I realized that marriage is a contract which can not be established without the
consent of both parties. So, of course marriage is dependent on liking of those signing the contract. I realized that
marriage has no ‘real’ financial prerequisites; it would make me financially strong rather than burden me. I learnt
that what matters is the consent of my future spouse and her guardian, and getting the application signed from all
the relatives wasn’t really required.
I’ve never had that much trouble lowering my gaze, by Allah’s grace. The eye catching scenes for others seemed to
be dirt and filth to me. Yes, the very sight of angels in Hijaab seemed very beautiful to me. Marriage seemed so easy.
When the time would come Mama would find some Hijaabi for me. I guess there’s a limit to everything. I’ve got
college mates, who have ‘aims’ that wander around girls. I see girls, who are dressed up, as if they were decoration
pieces, intended to soothe others eyes (that’s a first glance analysis). It’s not hard to make up how much ‘make up’
one has done. I would go to the market, looking down to avoid the possible immodest intruders. On the other hand,
my fellows would miss no single shot. The sign boards, the TV advertisements, the internet pop-ups all would ruin
the peace of mind. You’re getting confused, right? I’m myself mixing the lust with love, isn’t it?
It’s high time I married to save my concepts, religion, spirituality and peace of mind. Last but not the least, its high
time I married out of love, rather than becoming one of the confused lot, who have bogus love and sincere lust. Love
is the answer to many of our entangled questions. Early Marriage is the solution to many of our society problems. Be
Real Man! These things happen in dreams only. How would you support a wife at this age? I’ve done my home work
and I have my combat kit with me to answer the tricky questions. I’m sure my father cares about my religion and my
world. I am the most modest person alive in the eyes of my mother. Come on Mom, won’t you help me save the half
of my religion. Father! I have no doubt; you are the best father alive. You’ve given me all the support I needed for
education. I need your help to fulfill one Sunnah, won’t you help me? The confident reply from the opposite side
would be, ‘What if your family is not rich?’ I guess I’m not fetching a princess who’ll demand a palace from me.
Neither does the marriage contract involve the promise of Luxury and Lexus. I know the best person ever (Prophet
Muhammad) married a woman to a man who didn’t have a single penny for the dowry. My Allah has promised me in
the Quran ‘he will give me means out of his grace even If I’m poor’. Awais! I always thought you were a strong man.
Who told you strong men don’t marry? I wish to increase my strength. I’m pretty sure I’m not stronger than Ibn e
Masud who said ‘If I only had ten days to live and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I had any desire
to get married, I would get married, for fear of fitnah (temptation)’. Well! Guess you’re too smart, but who has
guaranteed you modesty after marriage. My lord has guaranteed me that. My Prophet told me that Allah’s help is
bound to be with me if I marry in order to remain chaste.
I won the battle yesterday. The very next day, Mr. Satan is here. The way he tries to stop me from this ‘evil’ act
(that’s what he thinks), is pretty much a proof of how virtuous it is. Why do you try to sacrifice always? You are
encouraged to marry early, but it’s no way a compulsion. Its not must for me to get married right now, yeah, why I
should face all the trouble. Sayyidina Umer comes to my rescue and ofcourse Mr. Satan has no reply to Sayyidina
Umer. I remember the words he said to a man, who was not getting married: “Nothing is keeping you from getting
married except either impotence or immorality.” Those who seek the path of morality and spirituality, marry early,
that’s opposite to the way we commonly think. Prophet Muhammad did marry and he said, “Whoever turns away
from my Sunnah is not of me”.
Well, that doesn’t seem practical to you, right? I guess there shouldn’t be any extreme difficulty in the Nikah-only
solution. She can come and live with me afterward. When I’m into my job and she’s free from her education. At least
I can walk proudly amongst my shameless friends who are proud to have society butterflies: I have an ‘official’
partner now. At least it will help me end the fantasies business. And I can wait for the day when she’d help me out in
the time of difficulties, like Hazrat Khadija helped Prophet Muhammad. I can wait for the time to say ‘ Zawjati! Anti
Habeebati Anti’. I can wait for the time to drink from the same side of the glass from where she did. I can wait for
the time when I’ll sprinkle water on her to wake her up for Qiyam ul Lail.
I’ve sought economy, peace, love and religion in the marriage contract, the way Allah told me. I’m pretty sure this solution applies to all
the Mujahideen of Nafs and Mujahideen of Lust. Oh Allah! Choose for me the most beautiful soul and make this task easy for me.
References:
To add more strength to what I said, here are the actual texts and references.
ۚ ۚ
ۚ ۚ
ۗ ۚ ۚ
And whoever among you has not within his power ampleness of means to marry free believing women, then (he
may marry) of those whom your right hands possess from among your believing maidens; and Allah knows best your
faith: you are (sprung) the one from the other; so marry them with the permission of their masters, and give them
their dowries justly, they being chaste, not fornicating, nor receiving paramours; and when they are taken in
marriage, then if they are guilty of indecency, they shall suffer half the punishment which is (inflicted) upon free
women. This is for him among you who fears falling into evil; and that you abstain is better for you, and Allah is
Forgiving, Merciful.
Half of religion
It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whomever Allaah has blessed with a righteous wife, He has helped him with
half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.
Narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (2/175), al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat (1/294) and al-Bayhaqi in Shu’ab al-Eemaan (4/382). Al-Haakim said: This is
a hadeeth with a saheeh isnaad, although they (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) did not narrate it. Al-Dhahabi said in al-Talkhees: it is saheeh. It was classed as
hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (2/192).
Peace in marriage
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in
them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”
(Surah Al Room 30:21)
Choice in Marriage
Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated that: “A man came to the Prophet saying: ‘O Messenger of
Allah, I am in charge of an orphan girl, two men proposed to marry her; one is rich the other is poor, we like the rich
whereas she likes the poor.’ Thereupon the Prophet said: ‘We don't see any thing for two people in love better than
getting married.’”
(Tabarani, and also in Sunan Ibn e Majah (only the last statement), classified as Sahih by al- Albani)
Best Treasure
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The world is but provisions and the best
provision of this world is a righteous women”
(Sahih Muslim)
Celibacy is Prohibited
It was narrated from Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) forbade Celibacy.
(Sunan Al Nasai, The Book of Marriage, Classified as Sahih By al-Albani and Imam Nasai has named the chapter as ‘A Woman Marrying Someone who is
similar in age to her’)
It was narrated that Jabir said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) met me and said:
‘O Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him), have you got married to a woman since I last saw you?’ I said :’Yes, O
Messenger of Allah.’ He said: ‘To a virgin or to a previously married woman.’ He said : ‘Why not a virgin, so she could
play with you?’ “
Delaying Marriage
Sayyidina Ali ibn Abu Talib (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said to him, “Three things you should not
postpone : the prayer when the hour for it arrives, the funeral when it is ready, and (the marriage of) an unmarried
woman when you find a suitable match for her.”
(Jami Tirmidhi and Mishkat, Classified as Daeef by al-Albani but Saheeh by Haakim in Mustadrak, its meaning is supported from other Ahadith)
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