To be; a bird I turned and looked at my bed; the sheets, blankets and bedspread were crisp and clean,

taut across the entire frame. I looked at my dressers; the drawers were all completely closed and I knew the clothes inside were folded and neatly stacked. My closet door was shut, but I knew the clothes were all hung and tucked away inside. I had even taken the time to dust my shelves, picture frames, and knick knacks that were around my room. I turned around and again focused on my desk. The letter addressed to my family lying in front of me, the ink still fresh on the page. I felt my soft shag carpet running between my toes. I ran my finger over the sharp piece of metal in my hand one last time before pushing up with my feet and leaning all the way back in my chair. A bird in his nest slowly opened his eyes and witnessed the wonderful reds and oranges of the coming day, bringing to life everything that was in his sight Just another day he thinks to himself, even the sun is scared of it. The sun was but only a sliver. It rose from the ground, letting loose its bright and radiant rays upon the land, and then disappeared behind a thick cloud that was parallel to the horizon. The last few glimmers of light could be seen from the bottom tip of the sun just as it passed behind the clouds and then the day was just as grey and bleak as it was yesterday and the day before The clouds extended

all the way from one horizon across the sky to the other side. Not even for a moment could the sun peak through. The days consisted of mere blues and grays, save for sunrise and sunset. The sun hides behind the clouds for fear of what it will see and the clouds hide the sun from fear that someone will gaze upon what gives life. The bird tried to wake himself up a bit. It was the cold time of the year and frost was still silently settling upon all things. He shook himself awake and with one great flap of his wings took off into the grey sky. He peered down upon the ground looking for any signs of movement, but it was like the forest was sleeping today. He was always watching the world, looking for life. He didnt get far in his flight when a sudden headwind hit him in the face. The icy cold went down his back, between his feathers, and forced him to shut his eyes. He just kept on beating his wings, trying to cut the air and push forward through the frigid wind. He pushed and pushed but the wind wouldnt let up. Its icy grip held him still in the sky like a nail trying to pierce through a block of ice. It just kept up until finally he gave in and let the wind toss him to the ground. He landed in a dead area of grass close to the city. The ground was too cold for there to be much food among the dirt when from the corner of his eye he thought he could make out a small worm near the edge of the sidewalk. He hadnt seen one since before the bad season started and he sprinted over and saw it was just the bad pieces of the carcass left from whoever found him yesterday. His

hunger was too great though. He picked at whatever he could manage to get down. He took off again heading towards the city hoping for a bit of luck today. He eyed bird feeder after bird feeder empty. He kept soaring and peering down upon the sleeping world until he noticed one small bird feeder in a tree near a halfrundown house. He came down upon the fence close to the tree and witnessed the feeder half full. The feed had a horrible taste and didnt go down well at all, but in the cold season, anything tasted better than nothing. He was just about to take off to the wonderful feeder when from above, higher in the tree, he heard another bird start. Hey, dont even think about it. Its ours. We hold claim on it. Yeah, its ours and ours alone, said a second. The bird looked up and noticed several birds all peering down upon him. The bare tree looked alive with hundreds of black leaves all shuffling slowly in the wind. It was a sea of black with thousands of little glints against the dark from their eyes, from their beaks, and from their talons. All their eyes were intently focused on him. He could feel the tension building in the tree like a spring being pushed together. They were determined to defend what was theres if they had to. He wasnt one of them and he knew that very well from other groups of birds hes run into. It was impossible to get to the birdfeeder without them all coming down onto him. He could see it in every one of their cold black eyes. Theyre determination to do what

needed to be done to survive. At any other time, he would simply have flown away, but times were getting tough and his hunger pushed him forward. Please, theres plenty in the feeder for just a meal for myself and then Ill be off. He hoped and prayed to the sky that they would take pity on him with whatever they could spare, but he knew it was like pleading with the devil to be let free from this icy hell. An older wiser bird came forward, Im sorry my friend, we never know when the people are going to refill the feeder and how long we have to make last what we can. A smaller younger bird much closer to the top piped up, Give a beggar one meal and they will always come back for another. Enough, its the hard time and we need not make it any har der, we truly are sorry though the old bird ended. The bird took one last look at the feeder and out of sheer stupidity wanted to just fly towards it. It would almost be worth it if he got just one bite before they bring him to the ground with their beaks and claws. He took flight again up into the grey sky and the black leaved tree watched him fly away. He headed away and just hoped he could find something somewhere else; anything anywhere else. He flew most ways around the bleak city spying mostly empty feeders or ones that were already taken by a different group of birds.

He came down from the sky into a tree to take a break from the flying. The blues and grays of the day were ever apparent as he looked around through the branches; all the lifeless trees growing above the dead yellow grass, flowers with their petals pulled up close trying to stay alive, and even the people hiding their skin trying to hold their warmth to themselves. The day seemed to just get darker and darker as it went on; even though it was never light to begin with. He was peering out of the tree, busy taking account of his surroundings, when he noticed shadows forming upon the ground and elongating in a very fast fashion. Everything began to glow with a slight amount of heat, but by the time he turned around, there was nothing there in the sliver between the clouds and the horizon; a sunset so fast that he had completely missed it. He turned back around, and everything returned to its blues and grays just as before. He felt his stomach empty from hunger, starting to eat itself from lack of nourishment. It had been a hard bad season this year for him. He took off again still hoping and pleading with the sky to just take pity on him today. He kept flying and then he spotted something; a little old lady with a feeder bag. Shes filling her feeder, he thought. He came down upon a small tree in the yard over and watched as every grain was being poured in. He peered up into the gray to watch for others that

might spot the activity going on in this yard. He wasnt going to be pushed off so easily this time. The lady finished filling the feeder and was headed back inside the house. The bird looked at it just swaying in the wind. Twisting and slightly turning at every breeze, completely full to the brim with food. It was just sitting there, all alone, waiting for someone to help themselves. It was calling him over to it. The bird couldnt help himself. The second the door was shut to the house, he was upon the bird feeder. He opened his beak and was planning on gorging himself on the sweet grain. He took a mouthful and could feel his stomach just screaming at him to swallow faster and let it try the grain itself. He could feel the flavor and life start to fill back into him. He started to let it slide down his throat, but he stopped mid beak-full he felt something something very wrong. The next moment something hit him so hard from the side, it felt like a tree branch collapsed upon him. He was thrown clear across the yard. Half dazed and confused he stood up and witnessed what was before him. He could see the eyes, staring at him, the teeth, just barely visible from the opening in the mouth, the pointed ears, pulled back close to its face. It was the demon that resides among the people. The bird was petrified at the sight of the beast. He could see it poised and tensed upon its back legs; all of its muscles coursing with adrenaline, just waiting for the impulse from the brain to send them into action and spring to extent. It wasnt even blinking it was so transfixed. There was nothing the bird

could do. If he took flight, in the second that it would take him to even raise his wings, the beast would be upon him. If he moved left or right the beast would simply swat him to the ground and grab him in his mouth. If he sat still, the beast would move on him anyways and it wouldnt even be a fight . The bird thought of his partner then; her beautiful sweet chestnut eyes and flawless feathers. Her slender beak and beautiful soft tune she sung during the warm sunny days. He could still see the outline of her upon the gorgeous reds and oranges that was the sunset. He thought about her rubbing her head into his chest and how they made plans to fly south together to escape this horrible place. How they thought of making a family. How they thought of being together forever and living in the warmth and happiness of the south He then thought of how he lost her She was lying in the backyard closest to their nest dead amongst the yellow grass. It was a perfect description of life; a beautiful soul amongst a backdrop of dead and stillness. It was a beast that killed her too. The bird slowly shut his eyes and stood still. There was nothing he could do now anyways. He stood still and just waited. He waited for what felt like a lifetime stuck in that one mere moment. He just waited for the cold teeth to enter the side of his body and for the icy pain to course through his skin. He waited for the feeling of what was left of his life to slowly exit his cold icy shell. He waited but it did not come.

He finally opened his eyes and saw the back door of the house ajar. The beast was running inside to escape the cold and the door was shut behind it. It was just a game to the beast anyways. He could just try again tomorrow for the fun of it. The bird was left standing in the middle of the yard with a feeling like his life was already half out of his body. Alone again The bird took flight. He was worried there would be another beast around the feeder as well. The people never seemed to just have one I might as well head home. The sun will be setting soon. Hopefully Ill have some better luck tomorrow, he thought to himself. It was becoming a more and more recurring thought. On his way home, He witnessed something amazing happen. A tiny little crack in the gray above him opened up just enough to let one tiny ray through. He followed it from the gray to the ground and as he flew through the sky peering down, right in the middle of the reddish spot where the ray hit, he saw something fluttering in the wind a little. He swooped down upon it to examine it and it was exactly what he thought; a white cloth from the people that they use to tend their hands. Finally, something good comes around. He took it by the beak and started home, excited to hopefully not be so cold in the freezing nights. He was not more than a few trees home when a frigid cold strong gust of wind blew through the trees and right into his face. He closed his

eyes and pumped his wings to keep from being swept away by the force. He pushed so hard simply trying to stay in the sky as the icy grip grabbed him again and held him still in the air. He could feel his body just about to give way from the force when he felt a rip in the cloth right at his beak. The cloth tore clean from his beak and flew backwards as he flew forward from the decreased force of the wind. He was soon to turn around and retrieve it when from the corner of his eye he witnessed two other birds already fighting over it before it even reached the ground. He turned and took the few final beats of his wings to get to his nest. He stuck the small bit of cloth that was in his beak into the side of his nest closest to where he sleeps. It covered one of the small holes between the twigs; one of hundreds that is. He looked at the small scrap with complete indifference now. He looked back around and peered out of the tree that he was in. There was so much good that was supposed to come from this life. It seemed too perfect to be true and of course it was. He felt a drop hit the tip of his beak and he looked down just as another hit his belly; and then it began to pour. Frigid icy rain rose like a blanket from the land and there was nothing to keep him dry. It flowed from the ground towards the grey in huge sheets as the clouds began to take it all in He witnessed the sun going down now. The small reddish orange sliver moving slowly from the clouds, letting loose the small amount of warmth it could

across the land; only just enough to barely keep the world alive. It was like laying in a bath of ice water and having one warm drop hit the center of your forehead. It passed the gap between the clouds and the horizon and then went down just opposite of how it rose in the morning. The only sign of true life, hope, and happiness, was just a glimpse. The sun disappeared and he sat down and puffed up his feathers and tried to get warm. It was nearly impossible with the amount of wind and cold there was, along with the unrelenting rain. In his nest he sat alone, his nest big enough for two. He looked over at the empty spot beside him; a bare spot in the nest that hadnt been touched in weeks. He fluffed up his feathers as best he could and tried to hide his head from the rain as he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Not even his dreams were a place for life to reside; that is when he even dreamed at all. Maybe that will be the last time I have to see the red and orange. The rain kept pouring and the wind was still blowing. The tree shook every once in a while and the bird had to shuffle his feet to keep from being tossed over. The forest was simply getting darker and darker until it was nearly pitch black. The ground just kept letting loose the cold rain. He could feel every drop of water as it dripped up his body through his feathers. Like an icy razor blade sliding up the skin. The wind was constantly beating his side and stirring his feathers, letting the cold in.

There was a huge flash of lightning all the way across the sky from horizon to horizon as a crack of thunder as loud as a cannon followed. One final gust of wind shook the tree branches hard enough for the bird to lose his footing. He tipped out of the nest from the top of the tree and began to fall. He fell through the icy wind and rain, his body tossing and turning in the black. I awoke with a little bit of a start; slightly stirring when I noticed something. The wind had stopped. The rain had ceased. It wasnt cold anymore like it was when I finally drifted to sleep. I lifted my wings and raised my head. It wasnt bleak and grey feeling anymore either, just merely dim. It was like a night when only the stars were out and it was just light enough to see your way, except there were no stars. Something felt very eerie. There was no movement anywhere. The trees were completely still and there was nothing even slightly stirring in the night. Not a noise could be heard from anywhere except the slight rustle from my feathers as I breathed. I dont know what impulse hit me, but I felt so full of energy. My hunger was completely gone and I just felt so alive. I stood up and raised my wings and with one large beat, took off into the sky. I didnt head towards the city this time though, something was calling me up. I just kept beating my wings harder and harder racing myself to get to the top. I was going as fast as I used to when I was just a chick and then I pierced through the gray and kept going straight up. I

popped out of the top and was met by the sun. The heat from the reds and oranges radiated through my entire body. Life became a sea of reds, oranges, and golds. I swam in the heat from the sun and never grew tired as I just kept flying; flying towards the sun as it called me away. The chair slowly fell through the arc of motion till it hit the ground. The mans body gave a jolt as the back of the chair hit. His legs were left dangling over the edge and his hands had fallen outwards of his body with his palms facing the ceiling; the soiled razor blade lying on his right fingertips. He was wearing his nicest of clothes; an ironed button up shirt and some nice slacks he only wore on special occasions. He brushed his teeth and even combed his hair. Every little detail in the room was perfect, even the bright red smile he had carved just beneath his chin. The blood flowed from his neck and rolled down both sides as it began to pool into the shag carpet; the heat of his entire life pouring out the gash. His cold gray eyes were left staring up at the ceiling as a tiny tear drop rolled down the side of his cheek into his hair and out of the corner of his eye, his sister had just came through his bedroom door.