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Self-esteem in interpersonal relationship

Having a positive sense of self-esteem involves being able to hold a solid sense of being a good person, making life decisions that are respectful toward ourselves, and having a sense of worth and competency. Our early childhood experience in our family of origin has a significant impact on how our self-esteem develops. Peer relations, and then relationship partners also have an impact on our self-concept. Our relationships to others will play a role in how we view ourselves, the confidence we have in our selves, and our deepest sense that we are good and competent individuals. In short, we are more likely to have a good sense of our own value and worth. This good sense of our own value and worth affects how we talk to ourselves, the choices and decisions we make for ourselves in everyday life, and how we will experience and manage our relationships with others. Interpersonal expectations are particularly relevant to the link between close relationships and selfesteem. Indeed, numerous theorists have suggested that self-esteem is largely derived from interpersonal experience,with high self-esteem representing a feeling that one is accepted and valued by signicant others Self-esteem is another component of interpersonal relationships that is vital social functioning. Self-esteem is defined as whether someone views themselves in a positive or negative way and displays confidence in their ability, credibility, value, and discernment. Self-esteem also reflects how that person thinks others view these qualities.The research hypothesized a connection between loneliness and a lack of ability to maintain close and intimate relationships. Considering the factors of self-esteem and loneliness, it seems likely that this inability to maintain relationships is connected to self-esteem. Successful interpersonal relationships need a feeling of connectedness and trust. Previous studies have shown a correlation between low self-esteem, loneliness, and social connectedness and trust

Self esteem at workplace


Each workplace has its own unique set of challenges, frustrations and negative people with which workers must contend. Personalities clash, work concepts differ and gossip abounds. Boosting your selfesteem and confidence in the face of sometimes withering and unfairly personal criticisms can help you not only survive a workplace, but also thrive as you work to improve it. When you have a high level of self-esteem, you will trust your thinking and your judgment, you will make better decisions and will create a better life for yourself. If you trust your thinking and your judgment, you will create more effective interpersonal and work relationships and can more effectively contribute to the work environment around you. In other words, a good sense of self-esteem has an impact on how we operate in the workplace, how we deal with people and how much we achieve in our career. Poor self-esteem leads to fear of the new and unfamiliar and it leads to inappropriate behaviour such as defensiveness, or overly compliant or rebellious behaviour.

Positive personal self-esteem also translates into the corporate culture of an organization. Organizations with high levels of self-esteem among their employees will experience several of the following characteristics. Employees demonstrate an ease in communication with each other and appear to enjoy their interaction. People will easily talk of accomplishments and be open and honest with any shortcomings. You will hear compliments and expressions of affection for one another. People are open to criticism and comfortable enough to acknowledge their mistakes. Communication and interaction among employees have an air of spontaneity. There is harmony between what people say and what they do in their actions. Feelings of anxiety or insecurity might be present, but they don't overwhelm people. Employees are flexible and are open to challenges and willingly help each other. The biggest challenge to inspiring and maintaining high levels of self-esteem among employees is the ability of an organization to create a sense of employee self-responsibility. In other words, employees must feel a sense of personal control over their work and their activities within the work environment Organizations that develop a coaching culture are vibrant, happy and highly successful at creating bottom line results. Training and equipping managers with coaching skills, tools, resources and methodologies is one of the first steps in changing your company from good to great. The managers will be internal wellcoaches in their day to day roles, while demonstrating that effectively boosting selfesteem can produce significantly better results. People will do better work, for a longer period of time, and contribute to the organization in more healthy and positive ways.

Tips to raise your self-esteem in the workplace


Try to avoid worrying about what others are thinking about you (you know, the office gossip). You have absolutely no control over what others think so being held hostage by something out of your control is a sure-fire way to lower your self-esteem. Its what you think that makes a difference. Celebrate the small and medium wins as well as the large. It is all too easy to move from one project to the next without taking the time to acknowledge a job well done. When you complete a task, goal, project, or objective take that time and give yourself a pat on the back before you move on to something new. Deal with frustrations as soon as they occur. Resolving minor issues and conflicts in a positive way with minimum drama not only relieves your frustration, it presents you to co-workers and bosses as a competent, responsible person. Use self-esteem affirmations to overcome negative self-beliefs that limit your initiative in the work place. Articulate the limiting belief, such as I am not very talented and replace it with a positive affirmation, such as I am talented and competent on the job.

Remind yourself that negative attitudes among bosses and co-workers reflect the frame of mind of those people, and do not reflect you in any way. Remain calm in the face of a negative attitude, and ask the negative person how you can be a part of the solution to the problem he is expressing. Maintain a gratitude journal that documents all of the good and positive elements of your life and work. Record daily how you contribute to a positive, functioning work place. Add to it regularly, and use it routinely to keep your thoughts focused on the positive aspects of your work place.

self-esteem & Self respect


self-respect & self-efficacy are dual pillar of self esteem Our culture is greatly concerned with matters of self-esteem. Self-respect, on the other hand, may hold the key to achieving the peace of mind we seek. The two concepts seem very similar but the differences between them are crucial. To esteem anything is to evaluate it positively and hold it in high regard, but evaluation gets us into trouble because while we sometimes win, we also sometimes lose. To respect something, on the other hand, is to accept it. Self respect is not about what we do, but who we are. It is about being able to stand tall and feel proud of and for ourselves just because we exist. It is about loving ourselves for ourselves just because we are. The person with self-respect simply likes her- or himself. This self-respect is not based on success because there are always failures to contend with. Neither is it a result of comparing ourselves with others because there is always someone better. These are tactics usually employed to increase selfesteem. Self-respect, however, is a given. We simply like ourselves or we dont. Self-respect, it seems to me, is internal. It is about what you think of you. Only you know how far you have come because you now where you started from. You are intimate with your hardships and have a sense of the skills and values you employ in facing them. We may lie to the world, but it is very hard to lie to yourself Self-esteem is a scale. On any given day you can be anywhere between one and ten. Self-respect is binary: either you have it or you dont.

Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy is a person's judgment about being able to perform a particular activity. It is a student's "I can" or "I cannot" belief. self-efficacy reflects how confident students are about performing specific tasks. High self-efficacy in one area may not coincide with high self-efficacy in another area. Just as high confidence in snow skiing may not be matched with high confidence in baseball, high self-efficacy in mathematics does not necessarily accompany high self efficacy in spelling. Self-efficacy is specific to the task being attempted. However, having high self-efficacy does not necessarily mean that students believe they will be successful. While self-efficacy indicates how strongly students believe they have the skills to do well, they may believe other factors will keep them from succeeding

People with low self-efficacy toward a task are more likely to avoid it, while those with high self-efficacy are not only more likely to attempt the task, but they also will work harder and persist longer in the face of difficulties. Self-efficacy influences: (1) what activities students select, (2) how much effort they put forth, (3) how persistent they are in the face of difficulties, and (4) the difficulty of the goals they set. people with low self-efficacy do not expect to do well, and they often do not achieve at a level that is commensurate with their abilities. They do not believe they have the skills to do well so they don't try.

Self-confidence
Self-confidence is what you develop through improving yourself and overcoming obstacles. If you're confident in yourself, you know that you're smart, talented, or whatever because you have proven it to yourself.

Low self-esteem has several negative effects on interpersonal relationships.


People with low self-esteem have fewer real friends. Some simply stay awayfrom other people because they fear others' evaluation of them. Others have lots and lots of acquaintances but few people that they really trust and that trust them. These low self-esteem individuals simply try to be friends with everyone because they are not strong enough to choose their friends. Even though they have several friends whom they don't actually get any good vibes from, they do not consider it an option to stop hanging out with them. In order to choose your friends you need to (1) be conscious of whom you feel good about yourself with and (2) dare to stop socialising with those who don't give your positive feelings regardless of what they may think about you. Having no friends would to some people with low selfesteem be the same as being a nobody. Therefore, they prefer having lots of friends even if they don't feel good in their company rather than having no or very few friends. A person with low self-esteem may have exchanged more business cards than anyone else, but shared deep feelings with hardly anyone.

People with low self-esteem have problems with trust and with feeling accepted and appreciated. They often worry about what others might think about them and so they avoid showing who they really are. Instead they adapt depending on the situation and on the people around them. Unfortunately, if you don't let others know who you really are you will not be loved for who you are. This is another reason to why people with low self-esteem have fewer real friends. Even when these people with low selfesteemdo get appreciation and love, they cannot receive it. Deep down they don't feel like they deserve it and therefore they get embarrassed or suspicious whenever somebody expresses positive attitudes towards them. Low self-esteem people find it much more difficult to feel loved, feel accepted, and belongingness even when the love, acceptance and group to belong to is right in front of them. They are suspicious of others and expect hatches whenever somebody does something positive to them.

People with low self-esteem not only find it difficult to deal with situations when they are treated in a positive way by others, they also find it difficult to deal with the negative situations. For example, as I teach in my self-esteem distance courses, people with low self-esteem are often bad at responding tonegative feedback. They might become very defensive and blame others or other things, or they might turn the reaction inwards and become very sad for a long time. Some psychologists believe that your self-esteem is dependent on your level of inclusion or exclusion with others. This could explain why people with low self-esteem get more hurt in situations when they become excluded from others, such as when they do not get invited to a party that many of their other friends are going to. Low self-esteem people feel excluded and unwanted more easily than people with high self-esteem.

What is emotional intelligence?


Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others. If you have high emotional intelligence you are able to recognize your own emotional state and the emotional states of others, and engage with people in a way that draws them to you. You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, form healthier relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life.

Emotional intelligence components


Self-awareness You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence. Self-management Youre able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances. Social awareness You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization. Relationship management You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict Self-Motivation

Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals. Achievement drive: Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence. Organisational Commitment: Aligning with the goals of the group or organisation. Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities. Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks.

Social Competence These competencies determine how we handle relationships.

Social Awareness and Empathy Social Skills Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others. Communication: Listening openly and sending convincing messages. Conflict Management: Negotiating and resolving disagreements. Change Catalyst: Initiating or managing change. Building bonds: Nurturing instrumental relationships. Collaboration and co-operation: Working with others towards shared goals. Team capabilities: Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals. Influence: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion. Leadership: Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups. Awareness of other's feelings, needs and concerns. Understanding Others: Sensing others' feelings and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns. Developing others: Sensing others' development needs and encouraging their abilities. Service orientation: Anticipating, recognising and meeting customers' needs. Leveraging diversity: Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people. Political awareness: Reading a group's emotional currents and power relationships.

Self-Esteem and EI
Self-esteem is defined as how much value people place on themselves. The interaction between the cognitive and affective components that underlines the construct highlights the fact that affective information is being used to form attitudes of oneself over the long term. Therefore, an individual with higher levels of EI-abilities should be able to reason with and modify emotional information so that over the long term, a positive overall self-evaluation is formed. A good self-esteem can brings up personal uniformity and makes person to pay attention to the other people when an individual feels he is being loved and make a sense of belonging, he is in a situation that two kinds of needs stimulate him to respect. A person needs to grants values and respects to himself as a form of self-esteem and also he needs to be respected by others. Satisfying the self-esteem, one can ensure that he has competences, values and capabilities The understanding emotions-branch helps individuals to understand the complexities of emotions that are felt. The management branch helps individuals modify the possible negative emotions in frustration into positive emotions, thereby potentially producing a positive self-evaluation or higher self-esteem.

Therefore, we hypothesize that each of these branches and the overall EI will positively influence selfesteem.

Significance of Emotional Intelligence at WorkPlace


Some argue that EQ is more important in the work place than IQ. In the work place, there are constant interactions which are occurring among the people who work there. While some of these interactions are positive, others are negative. The key aspect, managers and company leaders must understand is that over time, each of these interactions will have a positive or negative effect on the company as a whole. The effect that these interactions have on the company will also have an effect on the company's ability to remain competitive in its given market or industry. Having said that, the key fact that must be considered in order to make these interactions more positive is emotional intelligence. Humans are emotional creatures, and this is the first key towards understanding EI. EI is equal or greater in importance to IQ simply because people who work for organizations must be expected to get along with the people they work with. If they are managers, they must be effective in working with and managing the employees. It means little for a person to have an IQ of 180 if they cannot relate to anyone, they do not put anyone at ease, they're not composed, and they're not calm during a crisis. Effective management has become a critical issue in the 21st century. One reason for this is because we live in a day and age where more corporations are downsizing in order to compete on the international playing field. The United States, once one of the most powerful manufacturing countries in the world, is now being transformed in an economy that is service based, and what this means is that interpersonal relationships must be emphasized above all else. Relationships must be maintained between upper managers and lower managers, as well as lower managers and employees. There are a number of skills which have become crucial for the work place.

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence


The first step in developing your emotional intelligence is to increase your emotional literacy. Instead of labeling other people or situations, you will want to take the time to label yourself. When you find yourself in a situation, whether it is positive or negative, you will want to begin defining the situation by how you feel as opposed to what you think about the situation. Observe how you react to people. Do you rush to judgment before you know all of the facts? Do you stereotype? Look honestly at how you think and interact with other people. Try to put yourself in their place, and be more open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.

Look at your work environment. Do you seek attention for your accomplishments? Humility can be a wonderful quality, and it doesn't mean that you're shy or lack self-confidence. When you practice humility, you say that you know what you did, and you can be quietly confident about it. Give others a chance to shine put the focus on them, and don't worry too much about getting praise for yourself. Do a self-evaluation. What are your weaknesses? Are you willing to accept that you're not perfect and that you could work on some areas to make yourself a better person? Have the courage to look at yourself honestly it can change your life. Examine how you react to stressful situations. Do you become upset every time there's a delay or something doesn't happen the way you want? Do you blame others or become angry at them, even when it's not their fault? The ability to stay calm and in control in difficult situations is highly valued in the business world and outside it. Keep your emotions under control when things go wrong. Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone's feelings, apologize directly don't ignore what you did or avoid the person. People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honest attempt to make things right. Examine how your actions will affect others before you take those actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place. How will they feel if you do this? Would you want that experience? If you must take the action, how can you help others deal with the effects?

Emotional Intelligence and its Role in Interpersonal Relationships


Emotional intelligence is the ability of an individual to properly and adequately identify, evaluate and control ones emotion or that of a particular group of people. It could also be defined as the ability to sense, recognize and integrate personal emotions in order to enhance thinking, understand emotions and control emotions in order to achieve personal growth and development Importance on Building Relationship A solid emotional foundation helps to build long lasting relationships. These skills assist individuals in having the patience and understanding to deal with lifes difficulties as they greatly influence the success of the relationship. Emotional intelligence helps in understanding personal motivations, feelings and needs which helps in understanding how to communicate effectively to a partner. The ability to accurately read others, refute arguments and repair ill feelings are all components in this skill set. Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in interpersonal relationships. This is because it goes a long way in defining the relationship. A very good example is a relationship between two lovers. Emotional intelligence is going to help such a relationship in time of dispute, as both parties must be able to perceive and be on top of his emotion for the relationship to grow and wax stronger.

Emotional Competence
Emotional Competence is the ability to recognize and appropriately respond to the experience of your emotions. Appropriately responding to your emotions means that you are able to make the distinction between useful and not-useful emotions. In addition, it means that you have learned and consistently use the skills of resolving not-useful emotions quickly and thoroughly. It means that the not-useful emotions do not cause you suffering or interfere with your thinking and decision making. Emotional Competence which was more related to the managing of emotions through expressing or releasing them. The prior definition included this It implies an ease around others and determines ones ability to effectively and successfully lead and express. It is described as the essential social skills to recognize, interpret, and respond constructively to emotions in yourself and others. However, there is an essential distinction between managing your emotions and gaining a level of mastery of resolving emotional energies, and also recognizing the important distinction between useful and not-useful emotions. In a sense the previous definition of emotional competence was managing ones emotions with the intellect. To truly be emotionally competent one needs to learn how to resolve not-useful emotions experientially not just manage them with the intellect.

Interpersonal relationship
A strong bond between two or more people refers to interpersonal relationship. Attraction between individuals brings them close to each other and eventually results in a strong interpersonal relationship. Forms of Interpersonal relationship An interpersonal relationship can develop between any of the following: Individuals working together in the same organization. People working in the same team. Relationship between a man and a woman (Love, Marriage). Relationship with immediate family members and relatives. Relationship of a child with his parents. Relationship between friends. Relationship can also develop in a group (Relationship of students with their teacher, relationship of a religious guru

Must have in an Interpersonal Relationship Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must share common goals and objectives. They should have more or less similar interests and think on the same lines. It is always better if individuals come from similar backgrounds.

Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must respect each others views and opinions. A sense of trust is important. Individuals must be attached to each other for a healthy interpersonal relationship. Transparency plays a pivotal role in interpersonal relationship. It is important for an individual to be honest and transparent.

Interpersonal Relationship between a man and a woman A strong interpersonal relationship between a man and a woman leads to friendship, love and finally ends in marriage. A sense of commitment is essential in marriages and love affairs. Partners must feel attached to each other and most importantly trust each other. Famous psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed the triangular theory of love in interpersonal relationship.

According to triangular theory of love following three components lay the foundation in love affairs and marriages. Passion Intimacy Commitment

The amount of love in any relationship is directly proportional to the above three components. More the three components, stronger the relationship is. Passion: Passion refers to the physical and sexual attraction between two individuals. Individuals must feel physically attracted to each other for the charm to stay in relationship for a much longer period of time. Intimacy: The amount of closeness between two individuals in a relationship refers to intimacy. Partners must gel with each other and a strong bond between them is essential. Commitment: The decision of two individuals to stay together forever is called commitment. Commitment is nothing but two people deciding to be with each other life-long either by staying together or by entering the wedlock.

If any of the above factors is missing from a relationship, love fades away in a short span of time giving rise to troubles and sorrows. Relationship between friends Friends must be honest to each other. Stand by your friends at times of need. Avoid leg pulling, criticism and making fun of your friends. Try not to mix friendship with love as it creates problems and misunderstandings. Interpersonal relationship between children and their parents, brother and sister, immediate family members or relatives revolve around trust, commitment and care.

How to Improve Interpersonal Relationship at Workplace ?

An association between individuals working together in the same organization is called interpersonal relationship. An individual spends around seven to eight hours at his workplace and it is practically not possible for him to work all alone. One needs people to talk to and discuss various issues at the workplace. Research says productivity increases manifold when individuals work in groups as compared to an individual working alone. Employees must get along well for a healthy ambience at the workplace. Let us go through various ways of improving interpersonal relationships at workplace: Employees must communicate with each other effectively for a healthy relationship. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. Interact with your co workers more often. Discussions must be on an open platform where every individual has the liberty to express his/her views and opinions. Written mode of communication is one of the effective ways of communicating at the workplace. Make sure your emails are self explanatory and do mark a cc to all related employees. Ignoring any of your co- workers might hurt him and spoil your relationship with the indivividual concerned. Avoid hiding things from your fellow workers. Even employees from a different team can be your friends. Talk to them. Greet them with a smile and a Hi whenever you meet them. An individual must not take things to heart at workplace. Team leaders and supervisors should conduct morning meetings with their team members. Do not make the meeting too formal. The employees should be allowed to bring their coffee mugs. Let them interact with each other. Morning meetings go a long way in breaking the ice among employees and improving interpersonal relationships at workplace. Do not favour any employee just because he is your relative or you know him personally. Favouritism spoils the relationship between superiors and subordinates. Take your team out for lunch, picnics or get together once in a while. Let the employees bring their families as well. Ask your team members to exchange contact numbers amongst themselves for them to interact with each other even after work. Greet your colleagues on their birthdays or anniversaries. Send them a nice e-card and do ask for a treat. Such small initiatives go a long way in strengthening the bond among fellow workers. Important festivals must be celebrated at workplace for employees to come closer to each other. Individuals should be motivated to work in teams. Work must be equally allocated to team members to expect the best out of them. No employee should be overburdened. People working in teams are friendlier and adjust with each other better. One needs to be a little more adjusting and compromising at the workplace. Dont expect everything to be done just the way you like it. You will have all types of people around. Avoid fighting over petty things. Do not always look at the negative side of things. Accept people as they are. It is essential to look at the positive side of an individual. Being flexible at work always helps.

Avoid being jealous. Leave your ego behind the moment you enter the workplace. Appreciate if someone has performed exceptionally well. Remember only hard work and nothing else pays in the long run. Stand by your colleagues when needed. It is only you who can create a healthy atmosphere at the workplace

importance of interpersonal relationship at workplace.


An individual spends around eight to nine hours in his organization and it is practically not possible for him to work all alone. A single brain alone cant take all decisions alone. Interpersonal relationship has a direct effect on the organization culture. We need people around who can appreciate our hard work and motivate us from time to time. It always pays to have individuals around who really care for us An individual needs to get along with fellow workers to complete assignments within the stipulated time frame.

Role of managers in interpersonal relationship.


A team manager is just like captain of the ship who has the responsibility of taking all his crew members along. For a team leader, his team is just his baby and he needs to take care of each and every team member. Never be partial to anyone. Avoid favouritism towards employees. Interact with your team members on a regular basis. Make sure you speak to everyone, else individuals might feel ignored. Call your team for meetings at least twice in a week. Enquire about their well-being. Ensure if everything is going well with them. This way employee feels happy and shares a healthy relationship with superiors. Interaction is essential as it helps break ice among people. Avoid comparisons among your team members. Do not shout on any of your employees in public. Call the individual concerned to your cabin and make him realize his /her mistakes without being rude. Speak to your team members directly rather than passing on messages through someone as information might not reach in its desired form creating misunderstandings and eventually spoiling relationships. Remember a managers role is not just to sit in closed cabins for the whole day. Sit with your team members and help them plan their day. Help them in their day to day work. Managers must be accessible to their team members. Problems start when employees find it difficult to get in touch with their bosses. Do keep in tough with them through smses if not meet them regularly. Lend a sympathetic ear to their problems. Your team members must be able to fall back on you at times of crisis. Intervene immediately in case of conflicts among your subordinates. Your team members might fight over petty issues but it is your responsibility to guide them and reduce the chances of a major conflict. Do not ignore even the minor issues. One problem left unattended can become a major concern later.

Sit with individuals, counsel them and motivate them to discuss issues and reach to something which would benefit not only the employees but also the organization on the whole. Ask your team members to have their lunch together. You can also join them once in a while. Bosss presence does make a difference. Take them out for picnics and small get together. Such informal meetings not only bring employees closer to each other but also to their superiors. Motivate them to celebrate important festivals at workplace. Delegate responsibilities and ask them to take charge individually. This way they start believing in you and the organization and eventually share a healthy relationship with all. Employees performing well must be appreciated and suitably rewarded for them to deliver results everytime. Do not be harsh to others who did not perform well this time. Being rude to them will not solve any of your problems; rather individuals would go against you.

Interpersonal Skills
Interpersonal skills reflect an individuals ability to interact well with others. Typical skills include a relaxed but respectful manner, an ability to persuade others without seeming domineering, and an ability to make people comfortable in any situation. The role these skills play in your interpersonal relations depends on the nature of the specific relationship. For example, a supervisor might depend on leadership skills while interacting with subordinates but focus on making others feel comfortable while interacting with clients. Stay positive at the workplace. Do not crib over small things. No individual on this earth is perfect. Do not always find mistakes in others. Respect your colleagues. It is unprofessional to misbehave with fellow workers. An employee must behave in an acceptable way at the workplace. Maintain the decorum of the workplace. Being rude to fellow workers spoils the relationship among employees. Remember the way you behave speaks a lot about your education, upbringing and family background. Be polite to everyone irrespective of his/her designation and income. An individual needs to have effective communication skills (both oral as well as written) for a healthy interpersonal relationship at workplace. One must be careful about the pitch and tone of his voice. Never be too loud or too soft. Being loud sometimes is considered rude and being too soft signifies lack of interest in the other person. Choice of words is also equally important. Never say anything which you yourself would not like to listen. Avoid using slangs and foul words at the workplace. Communicate more through emails as they are considered to be more reliable as compared to verbal communication. Be cheerful at the workplace. Smile more often. It works. Make your fellow workers feel important. Show how much you care for them. If they have done something for you, do remember to thank them. The good work of employees must be acknowledged and appreciated in front of all. Being jealous does not help and in turn spoils your relationship with your fellow workers. Stand by your colleagues at the times of crisis. Lend a sympathetic ear to their troubles and help them whenever required.

Who says you cant have friends at the workplace? After all you spend maximum part of your day here. Wish your colleagues on their birthdays, anniversaries and important festivals. They would feel special. Be honest to others. If any of your colleagues is doing something wrong, tell him on his face. It is better to be straight forward than spreading unnecessary rumours about someone. Criticizing and making fun of fellow workers spoil relationships and eventually turn friends into foes. Be a patient listener. Listen to what the other person has to say. Understand the other persons point of view as well before jumping to conclusions. Wrong perceptions of people lead to unnecessary confusion and misunderstandings. Being trustworthy helps you gain confidence of fellow workers. Learn to keep things to yourself. An individuals personal interest ought to take a backseat at workplace. Your office has nothing to do with your personal life and personal problems. You have no right to shout on your co workers. Learn to keep a control on your emotions. Be a little more understanding and compromising to avoid unnecessary conflicts at the workplace. Put yourself in your colleagues shoes before taking any crucial decisions. Be nice and kind to everyone. Make sure you are not labeled as brat. Be a source of inspiration for others. Remember it is you and only you who can make a difference to the organization. Behave as a thorough professional.

Effective listening .
CONCENTRATE ON WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING causing the auditor to miss or misinterpret what others are saying. It is important for internal auditors to actively concentrate on what others are saying so that effective communication can occur. SEND THE NONVERBAL MESSAGE THAT YOU ARE LISTENING. When someone is talking to you, do you maintain eye contact with that person AVOID EARLY EVALUATIONS It is especially important to avoid early evaluations when listening to a person with whom you disagree. When listeners begin to disagree with a sender's message, they tend to misinterpret the remaining information and distort its intended meaning so that it is consistent with their own beliefs. AVOID GETTING DEFENSIVE Too much time spent explaining, elaborating, and defending your decision or position is a sure sign that you are not listening. " Effective listeners can listen calmly to another person even when that person is offering unjust criticism. PRACTICE PARAPHRASING Paraphrasing is the art of putting into your own words what you thought you heard and saying it back to the sender LISTEN (AND OBSERVE) FOR FEELINGS. When listening, you should concentrate not only words that are being said, but you should also concentrate on the way they are being said? the tone of voice and inflection he or she is using, and what the speaker is doing with his or her hands are all part of the message that is being sent. ASK QUESTIONS Ask questions to clarify points or to obtain additional information. Open-ended questions are the best. They require the speaker to convey more information

Focus on the speaker and let them know you are listening by giving verbal cues such as, 'yes', ' I see' and non-verbal cues such as, nodding, leaning forward and smiling. Give the speaker your full attention Make eye contact, look at the person you are speaking to or who is speaking to you. Looking in another direction or distracting glances appear as though you are not listening. Avoid interrupting. It's rude and you cannot talk and listen at the same time. If you assume what people are going to say before they say it and then interrupt to respond to your assumptions, you will annoy the person you are talking with and you will miss the real message. Ask questions and try to see the other person's point-of-view. Don't assume that you know what the person saying if things are not making sense for you. If you are unsure of the meaning ask for clarification and then if you are still not sure repeat it back to them. Acknowledge the other person's feelings; make them feel like you understand and that it is okay to feel the way they do. Be patient when you don't understand; getting upset won't solve any problems but will only create more. Express your point-of-view and make a conscious choice about your response.

Importance of Listening
People often focus on their speaking ability believing that good speaking equals good communication. The ability to speak well is a necessary component to successful communication. The ability to listen is equally as important One primary reason why listening is so important is the amount of time people spend doing just that listening. Listening is the most frequent, perhaps the most important type of on-the-job communication. Top executives spend even more time listening than other employees. Listening on the job is not only frequent, it is very important as well. In fact, most managers agree that active listening is the most crucial skill for becoming a successful manager. Listening can improve work quality and boost productivity. Poor listening leads to innumerable mistakes because of which letters have to be retyped, meetings rescheduled. All this affects productivity and profits. Apart from the obvious benefits, good listening helps employees to update and revise their collection of facts, skills and attitudes. Good listening also helps them to improve their speaking. The importance of listening in communication is something worthwhile to consider. Good listeners are often some of the best speakers because they have taken the time to find out what people are truly interested in. If you understand what is important to people than you understand how to reach them. The strategies I spoke about are just as effective in the workplace especially in sales. If you are really listening to what your customer wants it will be that much easier to fulfill their needs. The customer will be impressed that you listened to what they were communicating instead of just going into sales mode. I have personally found in sales that the more I listened and the less I

talked the better my sales ratio was and the more satisfied my clients were. That is a win-win situation for all involved

Barriers to Listening
Excessive Talking

Good conversational skills are an asset, and a person with this skill is more likely to achieve professional success. However, talking more than is necessary is a barrier to effective communication Prejudice Prejudice is a preconceived opinion of feeling, which is usually irrational. Prejudice is very dangerous and has the potential to bring animosity into the team and to break team spirit Distraction The four main types of distractions are physical, mental, auditory and visual Excessive Attachment to Personal Beliefs and Values It is fine to have personal beliefs and values, but an excessive attachment to them will have a negative impact on your ability to communicate effectively with others Misunderstanding Inability to hear correctly is one of the many reasons for misunderstanding of what the speaker is trying to communicate. This inability to hear is often the result of prejudice Interrupting Interrupting a conversation with improper body language or inappropriate words will have a negative impact in effective communication Faking Attention The person who is faking attention is just "hearing" but not "listening". The person is acting as if he or she is listening. There may be some eye contact and the person may even be nodding, but the mind is elsewhere Bringing in Emotions Emotions erect barriers to effective communication. A listener's senses are not likely to be functioning at their optimum level when he or she is angry Noise Noise is "any unwanted sound. It is a great impediment to clear communication. It is impossible to listen in a noisy environment Fear Fear is a great barrier to listening. People who are afraid during a conversation are not likely to listen. They become defensive and tend to argue. Physical Barriers These refer to distractions in the environment such as the sound of an air conditioner, cigarette smoke, or an overheated room, which interfere with the listening process.

Wrong Assumptions The success of communication depends on both the sender and the receiver, as we have seen in an earlier unit. It is wrong to assume that communication is the sole responsibility of the sender or the speaker and that listeners have no role to play Gender Barriers Communication research has shown that gender can be a barrier to listening. Studies have revealed that men and women listen very differently and for different purposes. A natural tendency to want to speak first and focus on our own agenda. This gets in the way of our ability to really hear and understand the other person. 2. Negative perceptions regarding the speaker and/or topic. If you lack enthusiasm for either your communication partner or the subject matter, your ability to listen can be severely limited. 3. Our ability to think much faster than someone can speak. Each of us has the ability to process words 4-5 times faster than a person can speak them

What is Stress?
Stress is defined as a response to a demand that is placed upon you. Stress in a normal reaction when your brain recognizes a threat. When the threat is perceived, your body releases hormones that activate your fight or flight response. This fight or flight response is not limited to perceiving a threat, but in less severe cases, is triggered when we encounter unexpected events Stress is defined as the emotional and physical strain caused by a persons responseto pressure from the outside world. It occurs when there is a mismatch between what the people aspire to do what they are capable of doing. In other words, stress results when the pressure to perform a certain task is greater than the resources available to perform it.. Stress is often described as a feeling of being overloaded, woundup tight, tense and worried. We all experience stress at times. It can sometimes help to motivate us to get a task finished, or perform well. But stress can also be harmful if we become over-stressed and it interferes with our ability to get on with our normal life for too long.

what are the signs of stress?


When we face a stressful event, our bodies respond by activating the nervous system and releasing hormones such as adrenalin and cortisol. These hormones cause physical changes in the body which help us to react quickly and effectively to get through the stressful situation. This is sometimes called the fight or flight response. The hormones increase our heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, metabolism and muscle tension. Our pupils dilate and our perspiration rate increases. While these physical changes help us try to meet the challenges of the stressful situation, they can cause other physical or psychological symptoms if the stress is ongoing and the physical changes dont settle down. These symptoms can include:

Headaches, other aches and pains Sleep disturbance, insomnia Upset stomach, indigestion, diarrhoea Anxiety Anger, irritability Depression Fatigue Feeling overwhelmed and out of control Feeling moody, tearful Difficulty concentrating Low self-esteem, lack of confidence High blood pressure Weakened immune system Heart disease Effect on your thoughts and feelings Fatigue Effect on your behavior Eating too much Eating too little Food cravings Anger Anxiety Burnout Depression Feeling of insecurity Forgetfulness Irritability Problem concentrating Restlessness Sadness

Sudden angry outbursts Drug abuse Alcohol abuse Higher tobacco consumption Social withdrawal Frequent crying Relationship problems

How to deal with stress


There are three broad methods you can follow to treat stress, they include self-help, self management, and medication. Self help for treating stress Exercise - exercise has been proven to have a beneficial effect on a person's mental and physical state. For many people exercise is an extremely effective stress buster. Division of labor - try to delegate your responsibilities at work, or share them. If you make yourself indispensable the likelihood of your feeling highly stressed is significantly greater. Assertiveness - don't say yes to everything. If you can't do something well, or if something is not your responsibility, try to seek ways of not agreeing to do them. Alcohol and drugs - alcohol and drugs will not help you manage your stress better. Either stop consuming them completely, or cut down. Caffeine - if your consumption of coffee and other drinks which contain caffeine is high, cut down. Nutrition - eat plenty of fruit and vegetables. Make sure you have a healthy and balanced diet. Time - make sure you set aside some time each day just for yourself. Use that time to organize your life, relax, and pursue your own interests. Breathing - there are some effective breathing techniques which will slow down your system and help you relax. Talk - talk to you family, friends, work colleagues and your boss. Express your thoughts and worries. Seek professional help - if the stress is affecting the way you function; go and see your doctor. Heightened stress for prolonged periods can be bad for your physical and mental health. Relaxation techniques - mediation, massage, or yoga have been known to greatly help people with stress. Relaxing your mind and body take deep breaths. Visualize success. Set some alone time where you do something you enjoy. Practice mindfulness, focusing your attention on the present moment. Sleep at least 7 hours of sleep are needed in order for your brain and body to function at optimum level. Avoid taking naps for more than 1 hour. Healthy relationships talk and hang out with friends. Find some you relate to and with whom you can share your problems with Time management get a planner, create a schedule, or even a to-do list. Map out what your quarter will look like. Once you have done that, do a schedule for each week. Then create a schedule for each day. Be specific. Mark down your class meeting times, study time

for a specific subject, mealtimes, fun activities, and sleep. Organization learn how to organize your notes, keep track of your assignments and note important due dates or date of exams. Establish your priorities for the day. Budget create a budget for your monthly expenses. Distribute your money according to the bills you need to pay for the quarter (i.e. rent, tuition, groceries, personal items, house bills, gasoline, etc.). Determine about how much money you will be able to spend for fun. Spirituality spiritually is regarded as finding meaning in your life, the ability to connect with others. Determine your learning style find out whether you are a visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner. Slow Down take a deep breath and know your limits. Take your time so that you can ensure a well done job. Find a support system whether its your mom, sister, brother, friend or counselor, find someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with. Sometimes all we need is to vent off the frustration. Make changes in your surroundings if you find it difficult to study in your dorm try moving to a place where there is no loud music, and brighter lights. Delegate responsibilities when school or work becomes overwhelming, dividing up the work or responsibilities helps alleviate pressure and stress.

stress at work
Employers should provide a stress-free work environment, recognise where stress is becoming a problem for staff, and take action to reduce stress. Stress in the workplace reduces productivity, increases management pressures, and makes people ill in many ways, evidence of which is still increasing. Workplace stress affects the performance of the brain, including functions of work performance; memory, concentration, and learning Employees stress is a growing concern for organizations today. Stress can be defined as a lively circumstance in which people face constraints, opportunities, or loss of something they desire and for which the consequence is both unpredictable as well as crucial. Stress is the response of people to the unreasonable/excessive pressure or demands placed on them. Stress is not always negative. It may also bring out the best in individuals at times. It may induce an individual to discover innovative and smarter way of doing things. This positive dimension of stress is called as enstress. But usually, the term stress has a negative implication and this negative aspect of stress is termed as distress. For instance - When a subordinate is harassed or warned by his superior, unhappiness of unsuitable job, etc. We can say that Stress causes some people to break, and other to break records.

Organizational strategies for managing stress


1. Encouraging more of organizational communication with the employees so that there is no role ambiguity/conflict. Effective communication can also change employee views. Managers can use better signs and symbols which are not misinterpreted by the employees. 2. Encourage employees participation in decision-making. This will reduce role stress. 3. Grant the employees greater independence, meaningful and timely feedback, and greater responsibility.

4. The organizational goals should be realistic, stimulating and particular. The employees must be given feedback on how well they are heading towards these goals. 5. Encourage decentralization. 6. Have a fair and just distribution of incentives and salary structure. 7. Promote job rotation and job enrichment. 8. Create a just and safe working environment. 9. Have effective hiring and orientation procedure. 10. Appreciate the employees on accomplishing and over-exceeding their targets. Types of Stress: Good and Bad In psychological perspective, there is "good" stress and "bad" stress. Good stress: Eustress Eustress (pronounced YOU-stress) can be fun, exciting and energizing, especially in the short-term. Face a sudden danger and resolve the situation safely, and you'll get pumpted and excited; like when we are racing to meet an exciting deadline, getting dressed for our wedding, or flying down a ski slope. It keeps our juices flowing. Just the right amount of stress is stimulating and healthy. We perform tasks faster and better. Our muscles strengthen. Heart function improves. Stamina increases. Thinking sharpens. Some experts say eustress even helps our bodies resist infection! Bad stress: Distress Ah! But then there isthe bad stress. When we think of types of stress, distress is what we have in mind. In fact we usually call it "stress," plain and simple. Here are some examples of situations that create distress. A truck swerves into your lane. A lost job reduces your income. You or a loved one is injured.

Behavior adjustment What are the Characteristics of Maladjustment?


The Maladjusted Person: Mental illness, emotional instability, mental disorders, emotional disorders, personality disorders, behaviour disorders, psychological disorders-all these terms denote one and the same thing.

They are interchangeably used to describe what we call maladjustment. They denote conditions of tension and nervousness and the characteristic features of maladjustment and deviations in feelings, acting and thinking. The more serious the disorder, the more radical are the disturbances until a point is reached when the individual becomes almost incapable of adjusting to life.

Most people have to face frustrations conflicts and such situations as may cause concern, anxiety and nervousness at times. They are able to overcome their troubles and adjust themselves to such situations. But there are people who cannot overcome their troubles and cannot compromise with them. They develop behaviour disorders in the form of exaggerated, persistent reactions which tend to incapacitate them and distort their feelings and behaviour. They are maladjusted persons. They create another world in which they can live more comfortably and with real life situations they are in gross disharmony. Two distinct types of persons have been described above-the normal and the maladjusted. But it must be remembered that the distinction between the adjusted and the maladjusted is very subtle. The line between the two is very thin, for no person is completely adjusted. He is adjusted to a degree. A normal person may be emotionally hyperactive at times and he may be so depressed that he can hardly live with himself.

Symptoms:

(1) Nervousness in the person is exhibited by habitual biting and wetting of lips, nail, biting, stammering, blushing, turning pale, constant restlessness, body rocking, nervous finger movements, frequent urination. (2) The maladjusted person shows undue anxiety over mistakes, marked distress over failures, absentmindedness, day-dreaming; he refuses to accept any recognition or reward, evades responsibility, withdraws from anything that looks new or difficult: he has lack of concentration, is unusually sensitive to all annoyances is suitable to work when distracted and has emotional tone in argument and feel hurt when others disagree; he makes frequent efforts to gain attention of the teacher. Such are the emotional over-reactions and deviations. (3) The person, having emotional disorders, is unable to work alone, and rely on his own judgment; he is suffering from complexes; he is unusually self- conscious or over-critical of others, either too docile or too suggestive; such are his characteristic traits exhibiting his emotional in stability.

Causes of Maladjustment:
The five main causes of maladjusted behaviour of adolescent are as follows: (i) Family: The family as an institution has various functions to perform various causes e.g. social, economic and psychological contribute immensely to maladjusted behaviour in children. (a) Social causes: Gibbon says that the social problem of one generation is the psychological problem of the next generation. Children coming from homes that have been broken due to death, divorce, desertion, separation etc., are often maladjusted in their behaviour. Such children feel insecure and become maladjusted. With the tremendous growth in population, it is extremely difficult for parents to provide even the basic necessities like food, clothing and shelter to their children. It invariably results in greater degree of frustration and hostility amongst them. (b) Economic causes: The occupational status of parents problems of unemployment poverty and low economic status breed maladjustment amongst children. (c) Psychological causes: If parents are over-possessive highly authoritative, unrealistic in their expectations incompatible and abusive, this will have an adverse effect upon their children. When the psychological needs are not met, children get frustrated and develop problems like nail biting fear of dark, lack of self confidence. (ii) Personal causes: The individuals who are physically, mentally and visually handicapped react abnormally to the situation. When they cannot score well academically compared to their peers, they develop an inferiority complex. Finally they isolate themselves from others and indulge in day-dreaming. (iii) School-related causes: When growing children do not find ways and means to channelize their energy in a purposeful manner

in the school they exhibit in maladjusted behaviour. (iv) Teacher-related causes: If the teacher is unfair, biased or not involved with the student it certainly affects the mental health of the children in the school. (v) Peer-group related causes: Another important factor that disturbs the psycho-equilibrium of students is an unhealthy relationship with their peer group.

Assertive Behaviour
Behaviour which enables a person to act in his or her own best interest, to stand up for herself or himself, without undue anxiety, to express honest feeling comfortably, or to exercise personal rights without denying the rights of others, we call Assertive Behaviour. 1Let us examine the element of that complex sentence in greater detail. To act in one's own best interest : refers to the capacity to make life decisions (career, relationship, life style, time activities), to take initiative (start conversations, organize activities), to trust one's own judgment, to set goals and work to achieve them, to ask for help from others, to comfortably participate socially. To stand up for oneself: includes such behaviours as saying `No', setting limits on one's time and energy, responding to criticism, or putdowns or anger, expressing or supporting or defending one's To express honest feelings comfortably : means the ability to disagree, show anger, to show affection or friendship, to admit fear or anxiety, to express agreement, or support, to be spontaneous, all without painful anxiety.

The Advantages of Assertive Behaviour


The use of aggressive behaviours, such as verbal or physical threats, may get a person what they want in the short term, but at the expense of any goodwill in their relationships. On the other hand, passive behaviour can also cause damage to relationships, because your own needs and feelings are ignored in favour of keeping the peace. You can eventually end up feeling quite frustrated within yourself. The advantages of developing more assertive behaviour and learning to communicate assertively with others include.. i. your needs, wants and feelings are more likely understood by others ii. nobody's feelings are intentionally hurt, and both parties feel respected and heard

iii. the relationship can potentially be strengthened by the honest exchange of concerns iv. you feel more in control of your own life and hence, your self-esteem is enhanced : The rights of Assertive Rights 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. You have the right to be treated with respect and dignity. You have the right to have and express your own feelings and opinions. You have the right to be listened to and taken seriously. You have the right to judge your own behaviour, thoughts and emotions, and to undertake the responsibility for their initiation, and consequences upon yourself. You have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them. You have the right to say : "I don't know". You have the right to say : " I don't understand." You have the right to ask for information (including from professionals). You have the right to change your mind. You have the right to be independent to the goodwill of others before coping with them. You have the right to get what you pay for. You have the right to choose your profession. You have the right to practise your own religion. You have the right to ask for what you want (realising that the other person has the right to say `no'). You have the right to acquire knowledge. You have the right to say `No' without feeling guilty. You have the right to do anything so long as it does not violate the rights of others.