Participant's Manual Official

Advanced People Skills
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL

2010 ECC International
No part of this material shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any
means without written permission from ECC International

1. TRAINING PROGRAM OVERVIEW
TABLE OF CONTENTS

2. PARTICIPANTS TRAINING HANDOUTS
3. REFERENCES
a. Leadership skills & emotional intelligence
b. Strategic guide to effective negotiations
c. The Neural Power of Leadership: Daniel Goleman on Social Intelligence
d. Social Intelligence: the heart and Science of Human Relationships
e. Leadership for today: Effective group communication

PARTICIPANTS MANUAL

2010 ECC International 2
No part of this material shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted by any means
without permission from ECC International

TRAINING PROGRAM OVERVIEW

Keys to Success through Social Intelligence

About the Program

Individual uniqueness is an attribute that promotes dynamism and challenge in building up
organizational culture. Aside from having the right person in the loop and nurture individual talents
within, confronting each person or to a few would require one to communicate effectively,
manage conflicts, proactively resolve negotiations and build stronger team dynamics. These
attributes are skills exceptionally unique for a leader and is considered a valuable asset to the
organization in promoting harmony across professionals and employees. Achieving the traits
mentioned- collectively known as Advanced People Skills, is only a few clicks away to grasp
concepts and in turn, bring out the confidence in you.

This one-day course helps the participants understand their ways of collaborating with people
within their organization, primarily on people skills. Apart from other usual courses of the same
title, this course integrates theories of social intelligence, widening our perspective of
understanding social cultures and thus, the pinch of this training.

Recognize their ways of collaborating with others
Major Learning Outcomes

At the end of this training, participants should be able to

Increase leadership capacity and confidence through mastery of the concepts
Proactively address people issues and ensure win-win resolutions as a challenge
Quantitatively address people skills as part of assessing organizational performance

Rank-and-file employees
Who should attend?

Managers and supervisors

PARTICIPANTS MANUAL

2010 ECC International 3
No part of this material shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted by any means
without permission from ECC International

Course Outline
Introduction: People skills as defined by various resources

Communication skill: some vital concepts
o Communication Process Model
o Speaking and Listening
o Interpersonal Dynamics
o Behavioral Modeling
o Employee motivation (media presentation)
Setting things even with conflict management
o About conflict management
o Identifying ways of responding conflicts
Meeting both minds through Negotiation
o Negotiation and its concepts
o The major types of negotiation
o The 7 critical elements to successful Negotiation
Seeing power in unity: team dynamics
o The team model theory
o Teambuilding activity: Mine field
Social Intelligence and the society
o The theory of social intelligence
o The five aspects of social intelligence
o Understanding personalities in the workplace

PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
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Keys to Success through Social Intelligence
July 31, 2010
1
W W W . E C C I N T E R N A T I O N A L . C O M
PHILIPPINES MALAYSIA VIETNAM INDONESIA INDIA CHINA
Gentle Reminders
Punctuality
Ask if in Doubt!
Phone on Silent Mode!
2
Notify Facilitator if leaving! Have FUN, please!
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Session Briefing:
Expectation Setting:
1 / f C 1. NAME/Preferred Name to be Called
2. Job Responsibility and years in Company
3. Expect to learn in the Session
4. Want to Contribute to make session
productive
3
p
5. One (1) unique thing about me few people
know about
Classroom Norms
1. Maintain adult learning principles
2. Listen and participate with an open mind
3 Minimize distractions keep mobile phones on silent mode (if
Session Briefing:
3. Minimize distractions keep mobile phones on silent mode (if
you need to take an urgent call, take it outside the meeting
room or return the call during the breaks)
4. Promptness is an expectation
5. Lets value mutual respect and mutual trust
6. Have fun.
4
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Learning Outcomes
1. Understand Multiple Intelligences and the power of Social
Intelligence (SI)
2. Assess own SI Profile and gain insights on how to enhance human
relations skills relations skills
3. Identify toxic behaviors and relate these to causes of
dysfunctional relationships
4. Relate insights to improving leadership competency and getting
things done through people
5. Plan action for continuous self-improvement
5
Nuggets
Whocansaywhichismoreimportant
In the long run: Landing on the moon, In the long run: anding on the moon,
Orunderstandingthehumanmind?
TenzinGyatso
6
y
(14
th
DalaiLama)
17 November 1950 present
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
CHECKING YOUR SMARTS
Self Assessment Exercise
7
CHECKING YOUR SMARTS
AM I SMART ? MI ASSESSMENT
Howard Gardner's
Theory Of Multiple Intelligences
Gardner's theory argues that intelligence, particularly as
it is traditionally defined, does not sufficiently encompass
the wide variety of abilities humans display.; i.e., a child
who masters multiplication easily is not necessarily more
intelligent overall than a child who struggles to do so.
The second child may be stronger in another kind of
intelligence, and therefore may best learn the given
material through a different approach, may excel in a
field outside of mathematics, or may even be looking
8
through the multiplication learning process at a
fundamentally deeper level that hides a potentially higher
mathematical intelligence than in the one who
memorizes the concept easily.
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
H. Gardner Multiple Intelligences
The Eight (8) SMARTS:
1. Linguistic intelligence ("word smart"):
2. Logical-mathematical intelligence
("number/reasoning smart")
3. Spatial intelligence ("picture smart")
4. Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence ("body smart")
5. Musical intelligence ("music smart")
6 I t l i t lli (" l t")
9
6. Interpersonal intelligence ("people smart")
7. Intrapersonal intelligence ("self smart")
8. Naturalist intelligence ("nature smart")
MI Assessment Scoring Key
1. Add the total points of your response on the scale of the
against the following items per intelligence cluster:
o LANGUAGE/WORD: item #s - 1, 9, 17, 25, 33, 41, 49
o LOGIC/MATH: item #s 2, 10, 18, 26, 34, 42, 50
o MUSICAL: item #s 3, 11, 19, 27, 35, 43, 51
o SPATIAL/PICTURE: item #s 4, 12, 20, 28, 36, 44, 52
o BODY/KINESTHETIC: item #s 5, 13, 21, 29, 37, 45, 53
o PEOPLE/SOCIAL: item #s 6, 14, 22, 30, 38, 46, 54
o SELF/INTRA: item #s 7, 15, 23, 31, 39, 47, 55
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o NATURE: item #s - 8, 16, 24, 32, 40, 48, 56
2. Get total score per cluster and divide over 7 = average
score
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Zen Philosophy
Thebiggestobstacletolearning
somethingnew
isthebeliefthatyoualready
know it
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knowit.
Quick Exercise
Think back on your own experience of being
managed. Youve probably had bosses who you
thought did a good job managing you and thought did a good job managing you, and
others who you felt did a poor job. Think about
the good bosses. What qualities or skills did
they demonstrate that made them effective in
managing you that made them successful in
motivating you to do a good job. List those
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g y g j
qualities and skills.
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Emotional Intelligence and
Leadership
Going Beyond I.Q. AND E.Q.
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Higher levels of EI are associated with better
performance in the following areas:
CENTER FOR CREATIVE LEADERSHIP
RESEARCH ON E.I. AND LEADERSHIP EFFECTIVNESS
(2003)
Participative Management
Putting People at Ease
Self-Awareness
Balance between Personal Life and Work
Straightforwardness and Composure
Building and Mending Relationships
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Doing Whatever it Takes
Decisiveness
Confronting Problem employees
Change Management
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE : EI
Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence (EI) describes the
ability, capacity, skill, or, in the case of the trait
EI model, a self-perceived ability, to identify, EI model, a self perceived ability, to identify,
assess, and manage the emotions of one's self,
of others, and of groups.
Emotional intelligence refers to an ability to recognize
the meanings of emotion and their relationships, and
To reason and problem-solve on the basis of them;
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The capacity to perceive emotions, assimilate
emotion-related feelings, understand the information
of those emotions, and manage them.
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Emotional Competence Inventory (ECI)
Four (4) Clusters; 16 Competencies
1. Self-Awareness: knowing ones internal states,
preferences, resources and intuitions
2. Self-Management: managing ones own internal
states, impulses and resources
3. Social Awareness: how people handle
relationships and awareness of others feelings,
needs and concerns.
4. Relationship Management: adeptness at inducing
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4. Relationship Management: adeptness at inducing
desirable results in others
1. Self-Awareness Competencies
Emotional Awareness recognizing own emotions and
effects
A t S lf A t k i t th d
Accurate Self-Assessment knowing own strengths and
limits
Self-Confidence strong sense of self-worth and capabilities
2. Self-Management Competencies
Emotional Self-Control - keeping disruptive emotions and
impulses in check
Transparency maintaining integrity; acting congruently with
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Transparency maintaining integrity; acting congruently with
ones values
Adaptability flexibility in handling change
Achievement striving to improve or meeting a standard of
excellence
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
2. Self-Management Competencies
Initiative readiness to act on opportunities
Optimism persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles
and setbacks
3. Social Awareness
Empathy sensing others feelings and perspectives, and
taking an active interest in their concerns
Organizational Awareness reading a groups emotional
currents and power relationships
Service Orientation anticipating recognizing and meeting
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Service Orientation anticipating, recognizing and meeting
customer's needs
4. Relationship Management
Developing Others sensing others development needs and
bolstering their abilities
bolstering their abilities
Inspirational Leadership inspiring and guiding individuals
and groups
Change Catalyst initiating or managing change
Influence wielding effective tactics for persuasion
Conflict Management negotiating and resolving
disagreements
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Teamwork and Collaboration working with others toward
shared goals; creating group synergy in pursuing collective
goals
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Socrates
Died: 399 B.C.
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Give me beauty in the inward soul;
may the outward and the inward man
be at one.
Self Assessment Social Intelligence
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AM I SOCIALLY INTELLIGENT?
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
A Different Kind of Smart
Since the 1995 publication of Daniel Golemans
landmark book Emotional Intelligence: Why It
Can Matter More Than IQ the concept of EI or Can Matter More Than IQ, the concept of EI or
EQan emotional quotienthas taken hold
significantly in the business sector
The concept of social intelligence, or SI, as one
of a set of key life competencies is surely an
idea whose time has arrived It crystallizes
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idea whose time has arrived. It crystallizes
much of what we know about an important
dimension of human effectiveness.
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE: SI
"the ability to understand and manage men and women,
boys and girls, to act wisely in human relations"
(Thorndike) (Thorndike)
A combination of a basic understanding of people --- a
kind of strategic social awareness - and a set of skills for
interacting successfully with them.
People with high SI are magnetic to others
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
the human capacity to understand whats
h i i th ld d di t
Social Intelligence
A New Definition of Human Intelligence
happening in the world and responding to
that understanding in a personally and
socially effective manner.
Norman D Livergood
25
Norman D. Livergood
IT Consultant, Writer
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE: SI
A simple description of SI
the ability to get along well with others
and to get them to cooperate with you.
Karl Albrecht
social intelligence consists of both
i i ht d b h i
26
insight and behavior.
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
SI Range of Skills
Able to relate to people on a one-on-one basis, small groups, whole
roomful and even large gatherings;
Uses power of own brain and body to communicate with and read
people
Acquire an attitude that encourage others to grow, create,
communicate, befriend know how to make and keep friends
Can negotiate and navigate through conflict situations; mistakes and
endings
A superb conversationalist and listener and relates successfully with
the wider world
27
Is comfortable with others from different backgrounds, ages,
cultures, and social strata and is able to make them feel relaxed and
comfortable, making cooperative, participative and involved
From TOXIC to Nourishing
the biggest single cause of low social intelligence
comes from simple lack of insight.
Toxic people often become so preoccupied with their
own personal struggles that they simply do not
understand the impact they have on others.
They need help in seeing themselves as others see
them.
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
What are Toxic Behaviors?
An individual's action can cause others to feel devalued,
inadequate, angry, frustrated or guilty.
The anti-thesis of which are Nourishing Behaviors can The anti-thesis of which are Nourishing Behaviors can
affect others to feel they are values, loved, capable,
respected and appreciated.
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BLIND SPOTS, LENSES and FILTERS
Blind Spots : parts of our reality that we have chosen
not to deal with
Personal Lenses : magnify those aspects of reality we
preoccupy ourselves with
Filters : selectively exclude or rearrange various aspects
of reality to suit our existing brain patterns
They operate dynamically
Shift from moment to moment, situation to situation
Programmed by a persons set of values, beliefs, desires,
t ti f d l ti
30
expectation, fears and evaluations
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Social Halitosis, Flatulence & Dandruff
Social Halitosis
Some people are completely capable of treating
another human being like a thing, a piece of furniture, g g, p ,
a non-being who exists only for the fulfillment of their
own selfish purposes (ex. religious proselytizers;
telemarketers; some hypochondriacs or really sick
people who love talking about their maladyetc.)
Social Flatulence
Originates mainly from ignorance lack of situational
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Originates mainly from ignorance, lack of situational
awareness or worse, lack of respect for accepted
norms of behavior (e.g. have the knack of saying
inappropriate or crude remarks cross culturally
ignorant, etc.)
Social Halitosis, Flatulence & Dandruff
Social Dandruff
A person with a pattern of behavior that selfishly imposes ones
interests on others (e g the gang who gets into a bar or a interests on others (e.g. the gang who gets into a bar or a
restaurant and owns it)
Imposes on the politeness of others to ask for favors
inappropriate for the relationship (e.g. the bumming co-
worker)
The get my way person (e.g. always insists on where the
group shall go for lunch; the prima diva entrance; etc.)
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
The DILBERT Factor
The flawed outputs of our educational system
Everyone else is stupid, incompetent, or misguided to appreciate
them
Often arrested or retarded social development, marked introversion
and limited self-insight
Lack of awareness and insight into social contexts and motivation of
others
Compensated low self-esteem and self worth gained through
intellectual or technical achievements
Eccentric; presents self as unique
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Tend to deviate from norms and rules; all people in authority and
non-technical geniuses are either stupid or ignorant
Gods gift of genius is in them
Toxic Workplace Environment
Draconian work rules
Oppressive supervisory practices, pp p y p ,
and intense pressures to meet production
requirements certainly seemed to have increased his
stress level, and possibly aggravated his disturbed
emotional state.
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
35
1. Situational Awareness
S.P.A.C.E.
THE SKILLS OF INTERACTION
2. Presence
3. Authenticity
4. Clarity
5. Empathy
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Situational Awareness
Build and strengthen your social radar
The ability to read situations and interpret the behaviors of
people in those situations
Being sensitive to peoples emotional states, possible intentions,
and a proclivity to interact
Staying attuned to others moods by listening beyond the words
or content, but the feelings and moods
An appreciation of culture and values of groups (even countries)
and an understanding of social networks and unspoken norms
37
Presence
Often or commonly referred to as bearing
This competency incorporates both verbal and non-verbal
patterns of ones behavior, including;
O ll Overall appearance
Posture
Voice Quality
Subtle movement and gestures
A whole collection of signals other people process into an
evaluative impression of a person (e.g., grace under pressure;
energy; passion for purpose; a life essence that attracts attention
A i iti d SMILE
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An inviting demeanor; a SMILE
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Authenticity
Demonstrated actions or behaviors other peoples social
radars pick up as signals that can lead them to judge a
person to be:
Congruent and consistent with his/her pronounced values and
decisions/actions, are you true to yourself?
General impression of openness and transparency
Ethical; Trustworthy; Fair; A person with Integrity
Doing the right thing and standing up for what he believes is right
Well-intentioned and genuinely interested in people
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Clarity
The ability to express and explain self clearly and
coherently
Passes data accurately and un-cluttered
Illuminates ideas with stories, anecdotes, metaphors
Articulates views and proposed courses of action
Enriches discussions by building on others ideas
Persuades others by engaging people in discussions that appeal
to their self-interests
Can get support and cooperation of people through applying
influence and knows how to use SILENCE
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influence and knows how to use SILENCE
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Empathy
Defined in the context of social competence as having
the capacity for shared feeling with other people
A state of connectedness with another person
Builds a strong base for positive interaction and cooperation ; a
condition of rapport
Keen ability to understand and perceive what motivates other
people even those from diverse backgrounds and cultures
Is sensitive to other peoples needs and accepting of who they
are
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Tuning-in Exercise
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Nothing strengthens authority so
much as silence.
Leonardo di ser Piero Da Vinci
April 15, 1452 May 2, 1519
The Archetype of the
Renaissance Man
Renaissance human, the success
43
model most of us admire, would have
a strong and well-integrated
combination of all intelligences.
The Renaissance Human
The Big Three Focus
The 3IM Model for businesses:
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI) awareness and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI) awareness and
management of inner experience
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE (SI) the ability to get along well with
others and get them to cooperate with you
PRACTICAL INTELLIGENCE (PI) the ability to solve
problems and cope effectively with daily life
The E.S.P. FACTOR
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Albrechts Renaissance Man Model
Six (6) Primary Intelligences (ASPEAK)
1. Abstract Intelligence (symbolic reasoning, of the IQ type);
2. Social Intelligence (what we are trying to grapple with);
3. Practical Intelligence (getting things done);
4. Emotional Intelligence (self-awareness and the management
of inner experience);
5. Aesthetic Intelligence (a sense of form, design, literature, the
arts, music, and other holistic experiences); and
6. Kinesthetic Intelligence (whole-body competence such as
sport, dance, music, or flying a jet fighter).
45
What Builds Empathy?
The Three As
ATTENTIVENESS : getting outside of your own mental bubble
APPRECIATION : willingness and ability to accept people as
they are
AFFIRMATION : as human beings, we need, want and seek
affirmation of ourselves on at keast 3 levels:
Lovability
Capability
worthiness
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
HowToConnectWithPeople:
1. Trainyourselftoreadsocialsituations. Whatsgoingon
here? What are the interests needs feelings and possible intentions here? Whataretheinterests,needs,feelings,andpossibleintentions
ofthoseinvolved?
2. Respect,affirm,andappreciatepeopleandyoullfindthatmostof
themwillreplyinkind. Puttingpeopledownseldomgainsyou
anything.
3. Listen attentively,respectfully,andwiththeintentionoflearning.
4. Pauseforoneheartbeatbeforeyourespondtowhatsomeonesays;
itgivesyourbrainextratimetochooseyourwordswell.
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5. Rememberthatarguingisoneoftheleasteffectivewaysof
changingonesmind;youdontalwayshavetofighttowin.
HowToConnectWithPeople:
6.Whenyoudisagreewithothers,firstacknowledgetheirrightto
thinkthewaytheydo thenofferyourviewsrespectfully.
7. Tryusingquestionsratherthanconfrontations,toinviteothersto
changetheirminds.
8. Stayourofconflictswithtoxicpeople;workaroundthem.
9. Getthecatsanddogsoutofyourconversation minimize
categoricalanddogmaticdeclarations.
10. Accentuatethepositive andthatswhatyoullmostlygetin
return.
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
49
Try This Out
Train yourself to say the following three things
freely, appropriately and without guilt:
I dont know.
I made a mistake.
I changed my mind.
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
Characteristics of Social Intelligence
1. The confidence to be yourself.
2. A life vision to know where youre going
3 An abiding interest in other people 3. An abiding interest in other people
4. Respect for others
5. Empathy and ability to read and use body language to
do this
6. Awareness of when it is appropriate to speak and when
to listen
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7. A positive attitude
Ten Skills Of Positive Politics
1. Do something well, get recognized as an achiever
2. Form alliances and service them regularly
3 Get visibility 3. Get visibility
4. Get credit for your achievements
5. Relieve pain when possible
6. Contribute to the big picture
7. Keep developing yourself
8. Have a plan for your progress in the organization
52
p y p g g
9. Have options to your current job - especially in good
times
10. Know when to leave.
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
1. Skills
2. Procedures invoke the power of the pen
S.P.I.C.E. Leading When Youre Not In Charge
3. Information
4. Consensus
5. Empathy helping people relate to one another
humanely and working out their difference
Earn authority by behaving in ways that cause others to consider you
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Earn authority by behaving in ways that cause others to consider you
worthy to influence them.
S.I. In Practice
Identify your Strengths and Weaknesses.
Craft a Plan for Change
Work with a Coach
Identify and learn from a role model
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PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
A Prescription for
Social Intelligence
Take chances
Break old habits ..
See things in a new way
Learn to deal with
Ambiguity versus
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What is certain
And
Comfortable.
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Leadership Skills
&
Emotional Intelligence

Executive Summary:
Emotional intelligence has become a popular topic in the business press in recent
years. Although we have not used the term emotional intelligence, the Center
for Creative Leadership has helped many leaders understand and develop
emotional intelligence competencies for over thirty years. One way that we have
successfully helped managers move beyond intellectual know-how and expand
their emotional intelligence is through Benchmarks
, a multi-rater feedback tool.

This study compares scores on Benchmarks to self-reported emotional
intelligence as measured by the BarOn EQ-i. We learned that key leadership
skills and perspectives are related to aspects of emotional intelligence and the
absence of emotional intelligence was related to career derailment.
2003 Center for Creative Leadership

Leadership Skills & Emotional Intelligence

How is emotional intelligence related
to the specific behaviors we associate
with leadership effectiveness?

Findings: Higher levels of emotional
intelligence are associated with better
Participative Management
Putting People at Ease
Self-Awareness
Balance Between Personal Life and Work
Straightforwardness and Composure
Doing Whatever it Takes
Decisiveness
Confronting Problem Employees
Change Management

Participative Management reflects the
importance of getting buy-in at the beginning of
an initiative. It is an extremely important
relationship-building skill in todays management
climate in which organizations value
interdependency within and between groups. Of
all the skills and perspectives measures on
Benchmarks, participative management had the
largest number of meaningful correlations with
measures of emotional intelligence. In other
words, managers who are seen as good at
listening to others and gaining their input before
implementing change are likely to be assessed as
good at cooperating with others, able to find
pleasure in life, able to foster relationships,
control impulses, and understand their own
emotions and the emotions of others.

Putting People at Ease gets at the heart of
making others relaxed and comfortable in your
presence. From the perspective of direct reports,
putting people at ease was related to impulse
control, which is defined as the ability to resist or
delay the impulse to act. This finding suggests
that being able to behaviorally put people at ease
has to do with controlling your own impulses
with regard to anger or other emotions. Boss
ratings of putting people at ease are related to
happiness, suggesting that your disposition is
related to how comfortable others are in your
presence.

Self-Awareness describes those managers who
have an accurate understanding of their strengths
and weaknesses. Ratings on self-awareness were
related to impulse control and stress tolerance. If
you find that you explode into anger easily, it is
likely that others dont see you as very self-aware.
In addition, it appears that others may draw
conclusions about your self-awareness from how
you handle difficult and challenging situations. If
you get anxious, others may interpret this as a
lack of self-awareness.

Balance Between Personal Life and Work
measures the degree to which work and personal
life activities are prioritized so that neither is
neglected. High ratings from bosses on these
behaviors were associated with the emotional
intelligence measures of social responsibility,
impulse control, and empathy. Giving your
bosses the impression that you are balanced is
connected with your feelings of being able to
contribute to a group, controlling your impulses,
and understanding the emotions of others. High
ratings from direct reports are also associated
with impulse control.

Straightforwardness and Composure, which
refers to the skill of remaining calm in a crisis and
recovering from mistakes, is related to several
emotional intelligence measures. Not
surprisingly, ratings from bosses, peers, and direct
reports on this scale are related to impulse
control. Direct report ratings are also associated
with stress tolerance, optimism, and social
responsibility. Boss ratings are related to
happiness. Thus it appears that being rated highly
on straightforwardness and composure has to do
with controlling impulses during difficult times,
being responsible toward others, and having a
satisfied disposition.

Building and Mending Relationships is the
ability to develop and maintain working
relationships with various internal and external
parties. Ratings from bosses on this scale were
related to only one measure of emotional
intelligence: impulse control. This is not
surprising because poor impulse control manifests
itself as an inability to control hostility and
explosive behavior. Obviously, this tendency will
not translate into strong relationships with bosses.
Similarly, scores on stress tolerance are related to
direct report ratings. Difficulties handling stress
may reveal themselves to direct reports as

problematic relationships or the stress may result
from troubled relationships with direct reports.

Boss ratings on Doing Whatever It Takes,
which has to do with persevering in the face of
obstacles as well as taking charge and standing
alone when necessary were related to two of the
emotional intelligence scales: independence and
assertiveness. People who are high on
independence tend to be self-reliant and
autonomous. Although they may ask for input
from others, they are not dependent on it.
Assertiveness has to do with expressing feelings,
thoughts, and beliefs in a nondestructive manner.
People high on this scale are not shy about letting
others know what they want. Direct report ratings
are associated with independence and optimism.
Optimism has to do with looking at the brighter
side of life. This constellation of relationships
suggests that doing whatever it takes requires
emotional intelligence in the sense of being able
to go after what you want, being able to persevere
in getting what you want, and seeing that a bright
future is possible.

Direct report ratings of Decisiveness are related
to assessments of independence. Decisiveness
has to do with a preference for quick and
approximate actions over slow and approximate
ones. Independence has to do with the ability to
be self-directed and self-controlled in ones
thinking. It does not seem at all surprising that
people who rate themselves as independent
thinkers would be viewed by their direct reports
as decisive.

Another interesting relationship has to do with
peer ratings of Confronting Problem
Employees, the degree to which a manager acts
decisively and fairly when dealing with problem
employees, and the emotional intelligence
measure of assertiveness. Assertive people are
able to express their beliefs and feelings in a
nondestructive manner. These results suggest that
being able to do this is helpful when it comes to
dealing with problematic performance situations.

Change Management is the final Benchmarks
scale to be connected with emotional intelligence.
This skill has to do with the effectiveness of the
strategies used to facilitate change initiatives.
Ratings from direct reports are associated with
measures of social responsibility. In other words,
the ability to be a cooperative member of ones
social group is associated with perceptions of
effectiveness in introducing change. Peer ratings
of change management are related to
interpersonal relationship abilities. Apparently,
the ability to establish satisfying relationships has
a connection to how well peers judge your ability
to institute change.

Conclusions: Leadership abilities vary according
to rater perspective and level of emotional
intelligence. In general, co-workers seem to
appreciate managers abilities to control their
impulses and anger, to withstand adverse events
and stressful situations, to be happy with life, and
to be a cooperative member of the group. These
leaders are more likely to be seen as participative,
self-aware, composed, and balanced.

Is the need to develop emotional
intelligence abilities related to
derailment behaviors?

Findings: In his 1998 book, Working With
Emotional Intelligence, Donald Goleman suggests
that some of the reasons why people derail stem
from a lack of emotional intelligence. Our
research indicates the absence of emotional
intelligence is related to career derailment. Low
emotional intelligence scores are related to:
Problems with Interpersonal Relationships
Difficulty Changing or Adapting

Ratings on Problems with Interpersonal
Relationships from all co-workersbosses, peers,
and direct reportswere associated with low
scores on impulse control. Problems with
The Method and Analysis
This summary compiled by Jean Leslie, Manger
of Instrument Research at CCL, is based on data
from 302 managers attending CCLs Leadership
Development Program
between July and

September 2000. The managers volunteered to
take part in this research by completing both the
BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory (BarOn EQ-
i), which assesses components of emotional
intelligence, and Benchmarks. On average, LDP
participants were 42.7 years old, 73% were male,
81% were white, and 90% had a minimum of a
bachelors degree. The results of both surveys
were linked and analyzed. Results reported here
are based on at least moderately associated
(rt.20) zero order correlations of participants

Interpersonal Relationships ratings from direct
reports and peers were related to stress tolerance.
Ratings from direct reports were related to social
responsibility.

Conclusions: These results suggest that
managers who dont feel a responsibility to
others, cant handle stress, are unaware of their
own emotions, lack the ability to understand
others, or erupt into anger easily are viewed as
likely to derail due to problems dealing with other
people. High scores from direct reports on
Difficulty Changing or Adapting were related to
EQ-i scores on stress tolerance, and impulse
control. Managers who resist change and
growth, as high scores on this derailment factor
imply, may be plainly visible to direct reports.

Suggestions for Development
What can you do if you want to improve your
skills in the leadership arena and perceptions of
your emotional intelligence too?

Self-Awareness is key to leadership development
and is a skill to handling stress. The more
accurately we can identify and monitor our
emotional upsets, the faster we can recover. Self-
awareness can be developed through the practice
of seeking on-going feedback. Ask supervisors
and co-workers who know you well for honest
feedback on how your behavior is impacting
them. Use opportunities to self-reflect upon
adversity business failures, demotions, missed
promotions, unchallenging jobs, and personal
trauma. Consider what you learned as a result of
these hardships. Participate in a leadership
development program that features self-awareness
and reflection and ask for feedback on a multi-
rater assessment.
The ability to demonstrate yourself as a
cooperative, contributing, and
constructive member of the group, is
critical for long-term career success.
Consider managing an inexperienced
work team or employees who are
resistant. Think about what you can do
to contribute positively to group and
organizational goals through new job
assignments, existing jobs, role models or
coaches.

If maintaining self-control is a developmental
area for you, consider leading a task force or
project team made up of diverse members, taking
calls on a customer hot line, negotiating a high
profile case, or representing your organization to
the media or influential outsiders. Seek a job
assignment such as a project or task force headed
by someone known for his or her high since of
integrity and crisis management strength.

References:
Bar-On, R. (1999). BarOn Emotional Quotient
Inventory: A measure of emotional intelligence
(Technical manual). Toronto, Canada: Multi-
Health Systems.

Goleman, D. (1998). Working with emotional
intelligence. New York, NY:
Bantam Books.

Ruderman, M.N., Hannum, K., Leslie, J.B., &
Steed, J.L. (2001). Leadership skills and
emotional intelligence (Unpublished manuscript).
Greensboro, NC: Center for Creative Leadership.
The Measures
Benchmarks
is 360 degree assessment-for development tool that is based on 15 years of CCL

research: 1) a body of research looking at the characteristics successful executives develop over
time and 2) a series of studies investigating why some highpotential executives derail and fall off
the success track. Feedback is provided on 16 leadership skills and perspectives and 5 derailment
scales. The BarOn EQ-i has fifteen scales that can be divided into five larger groupings. The areas
assessed are emotional self-awareness, assertiveness, self-regard, self-actualization, independence,
empathy, interpersonal relationship, social responsibility, problem solving, reality testing,
flexibility, stress tolerance, impulse control, happiness, and optimism. The BarOn EQ-i was
selected because it had the greatest body of scientific data suggesting it was an accurate and
reliable means of assessing emotional intelligence.

For more about Benchmarks, contact Client Services at 336-545-2810
GAIN THE EDGE!
SM
STRATEGIC GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE NEGOTIATIONS

LATZS 5 GOLDEN RULES OF NEGOTIATION
RULE 1
INFORMATIONIS POWER
SO GET IT
RULE 2
MAXIMIZE YOUR LEVERAGE
RULE 3
EMPLOY FAIROBJECTIVE CRITERIA
RULE 4
DESIGNANOFFER/CONCESSION
STRATEGY
RULE 5
CONTROL THE AGENDA
Get the Info to Set Your Goals
Set and prioritize your goals
Determine and prioritize your
counterparts goals
Evaluate the power of relationships
Practical Tactics for Goal-Setting
Brainstorm to set your goals
Be aggressive and specific
Tie your goals to realistic standards
Expectto succeed
Commit to them
Develop an Information Bargaining
Strategy
Get substantiveinformation
Find facts, issues, opinions
Uncover interests, not positions
Brainstorm options
Get strategic information
Obtain sooner, not later
Negotiate with right person
Learn counterparts past tactics
Ten Information-Gathering Tactics
1. Leave your ego at the door
2. Be sincere
3. Establish trust
4. List your information needs
5. Do the big shmooze
6. Ask questions
7. Use the funnelopen- to closed-
ended questions
8. Actively listen and use the
power of silence
9. Ask whyget to interests,
not positions
10. Evaluate and use nonverbals/
body language
Prepare Blocking Techniques
Reevaluate Your Goals
Evaluate Initial Leverage
Find each sides need level
Determine Best Alternative To a
Negotiated Agreement (BATNA)
Leverage is Fluid
Strike While Leverage is Hot
Five Leverage-Enhancing Tactics
1. Quantify all sides initial leverage
Need Level Chart
Yours Counters
Very high -2 +2
High -1 +1
Medium 0 0
Low +1 -1
Very low +2 -2
Yours + Counterparts =Your Need Score

Weakest Strongest
-4 -3 -2 -1 0 +1 +2 +3 +4
BATNA Chart
Yours Counters
Excellent +3 -3
Very Good +2 -2
Good +1 -1
Okay 0 0
Fair -1 +1
Poor -2 +2
Very Poor -3 +3
Yours +Counterparts = Your BATNAScore

Weakest Strongest
-6 -4 -2 0 +2 +4 +6
Your NeedScore+Your BATNA Score=
Your Overall Leverage
Weakest Strongest
-10 -7 -3 0 +3 +7 +10
2. Improve your alternatives and
limit their alternatives
3. Tactically share your leverage-
related information
4. Communicate your leverage
credibly and confidently
5. Selectively use risky leverage
tactics like walkouts and threats
The Power of Standards and Procedures
Creates the perception of independence
and objectivity
The more independent and objective,
the more power
Powerful Standards
Market Value Power
Precedent Power
Tradition Power
Expert- and Scientific Judgment Power
Efficiency Power
Costs and Profit Power
Policy Power
Reciprocity Power
Status Power: Title and Position
Professional or Industry
Standards Power
Powerful Procedures
One cut, the other choose
Take turns, draw lots, or flip a coin
Use an independent third party, e.g.,
arbitrator or mediator
Harness the Power by Using These Four
Critical Tactics
1. Find your most powerful standards
and procedures at the start
2. Research standards and procedures
your counterpart previously used
3. Do the standards dance
4. Never forget: Leverage trumps
objective criteria

KnowYour Offer-Concession Patterns
Beware of the premature offer
The longer you wait, the less eager you
appeartiming pattern
Early concessions include relatively
larger movesthe size pattern
First Offer Issues
Advantages to first offers
Set expectations
Elicit genuine reaction
Strategic advantagesleverage
timing, information . . .
Disadvantages to first offers
Lack of information to
appropriately set it
Other side gains information
Bracketing
Where to start
First-offer expectations
Your original goal
Your most aggressive, yet
reasonable, independent standard
Room to move psychology
Psychological Expectations
Play the expectation game
Offer-Concession Nuts &Bolts
Use specific, detailed language, explain
the offers rationale, and tie to standards
Promote an air of finality and rigidity
Carefully communicate your priorities
and order of issues
Learn when, how, and under what
circumstances to use agents
To bluff or not to bluff
Closing strategies
Prepare a Substantive and Atmospheric
Agenda to Start
Setting the agenda for short-term
negotiations
Setting the long-term agenda
Negotiate the Agenda
Manage the Deadlines
Determine what, if any, deadlines
already exist
Evaluate the deadlines impact
(deadline dynamics: urgency, timing,
concession, and organization)
Decide what type of deadlines you want
(short, long, or flexible)
Take the initiativeand set or negotiate
the deadlines
Dont let themsee you sweat
Apply these Agenda Control Tips
and Tactics
Use the power of the pen
Preview, agree, and focus
Just do it
The subtle control
Control the turf
To phone or not to phone
consider effect on:
Relationship
Efficiency
Written record
WWW.NEGOTIATIONINSTITUTE.COM PH. 480.951.3222 FAX 480.951.3224 EMAIL:INFO@NEGOTIATIONINSTITUTE.COM
2004 Latz Negotiation Institute. All Rights Reserved.
GAIN THE EDGE!
SM
STRATEGIC GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE NEGOTIATIONS

MAKING LATZS GOLDEN RULES WORK
PERSONALITY TENDENCIES (STYLE ISSUES) ETHICS MAKE A BOTTOM-LINE DIFFERENCE USE A SITUATION-SPECIFIC STRATEGY
COMMONNEGOTIATIONPROBLEMS AND
THEIR SOLUTIONS
Recognize Parties Styles
Competitors
Characteristics
Enjoy debating substantive issues
Not great listeners
Direct, sometimes adversarial, tone, words,
and body language
Tactics to use with them
Ask and listen
Stick to your principles
Frankly emphasize your leverage
Accommodators
Characteristics
Highly value good relationships
Effective listening skills
Attitude reflects concern, compassion,
and understanding
Resist just talking; ask back
Recognize value in relationship issues
Focus on objective criteria
Conflict Avoiders
Characteristics
Belief that almost all conflict is unproductive
Highly skilled at avoiding questions and
undesirable issues
Can appear aloof and uninterested
Be patient
Focus on your long-term goal
Aggressively probe their interests
Negotiate Stylewise in the Most Effective Way
Be assertive, empathetic and enjoyable
Exhibit ethical, personable, rational, and
trustworthy traits
Find Out the Questionable Tactics Legality
Honorable intentions make a difference
Silence is usually golden
Bluffing about your bottom line and your interests is
usually legally acceptable
Puffery couched as opinions and statements
about the future rarely cross the legal line
The more sophisticated your counterpart,
the better your position
No harm, no foul
Evaluate What Will Happen in the Negotiation and to
Your Reputation If You Use the Questionable Tactic
Assess the tactics short and long-term impacts
Determine HowYou and Others Viewthe
Tactics Morality
Research their ethical reputation
Analyze their language and actions
during your negotiation
Determine if they are:
Idealists
Poker Players
Pragmatists
Use These Tactics in Negotiating with the Unethical
and Untrustworthy
Understand the risks of trust
Take away the incentives to lie by ensuring
negative consequences for lying
Dont lower yourself to their level
Problem-Solving or Competitive Strategies
Golden
Rule
Problem-Solving
Strategies
Competitive
Strategies
1
Info is
Power
Mutually share
critical information.
Actions/atmosphere
confirm trust and a
valued relationship
Substantial
information
bargaining;
share a little and
get a lot
2
Leverage
Leverage down-
played, but still there
Open conflict on
leverage
3
Criteria
Frequently rely on
independent
standards and
procedures
Minimal reliance on
independent
standards and
procedures
4
Offers
Least aggressive
offer-concession
moves/tactics
Most aggressive
offer-concession
moves/tactics
5
Agenda
Mutually agreeable
agenda
Overt and biased
agenda
Factors in Determining Whether to Problem-Solve or
Compete
The relationship factor
The number factor
The zero-sum factor
The mutuality factor: will they problem-solve?
If yes, use Problem-Solving Strategies
If no, use Competitive Strategies
Tactics to Implement the Most Effective Strategy
Determine your strategy based on initial goals
Continually evaluate your counterparts strategy
Dont choose too early
Remain flexible

Selectively Apply Your Strategy to Some Issues
and Not Others
Foiling Common Negotiation Games
Good Cop/Bad Cop
The Nibbler
The Blowup or Verbal Attack
The Flinch
The Higher or Limited Authority
The Context Manipulator
Power in Numbers
Feigned Irrationality
Top Ten Impasse-Breaking Strategies
1. Get or share more information
2. Switch objective criteria
3. Prioritize needs and interests
4. Brainstorm options
5. Set deadlines
6. Temporarily put aside the issue
7. Take a break
8. Move up the chain
9. Pick a fair alternative process
10. Concede
Dealing with Emotional Counterparts
Dont reactgo to the balcony
Dont arguestep to their side
Depersonalize with independent standards
Overcoming A Fear of the Process
Explore your feelings and whats really at stake
Minimize the likelihood your fears will come true
Research fair and reasonable standards
Assess if youre the right person at the table
Multi-party Environments
Apply the Five Golden Rules to everyparty
Build coalitions on shared and compatible interests
WWW.NEGOTIATIONINSTITUTE.COM PH. 480.951.3222 FAX 480.951.3224 EMAIL:INFO@NEGOTIATIONINSTITUTE.COM
2004 Latz Negotiation Institute. All Rights Reserved.
2007 Six Seconds 1
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Neural Power of Leadership:
Daniel Goleman on Social Intelligence
by Joshua Freedman

Why should leaders care about feelings? Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional
Intelligence and the new Social Intelligence, says the latest science makes a
compelling case. He discusses a new leadership imperative for optimizing human
performance and the research that makes attention to feelings a bottom-line
priority.

In 1995 Daniel Goleman sent a wave of hope
around the world by presenting the
groundbreaking science of Emotional
Intelligence in a compelling work by that title.
His new book, Social Intelligence: The New
Science of Human Relationships, takes the case
to a new level showing how emotion is a critical
component of leadership and learning.

In Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can
Matter More Than IQ, Goleman reported
on a variety of research and practice
making the case that skill in handling
emotion is as significant as skill in
handling other forms of data (such as
those measured on an IQ test).
Examining both scientific theory
(including the work of Salovey, Mayer,
BarOn, and Damasio) and learning
programs (including Six Seconds Self-
Science curriculum) Goleman identified
that one commonality among all these
models of emotional intelligence
(abbreviated EI or EQ for
emotional
quotient) is they
address both the
inner world and the
way whats inside
affects the outside.
This led him to
propose a model
with four
quadrants, two
inner directed (emotional awareness and
managing emotions) and two outer
directed (social awareness and managing
relationships).
The Neural Power of Leadership Freedman / Goleman
2007 Six Seconds 2
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Goleman explains how the new book
connects with this previous work:
Social intelligence is the interpersonal
part of emotional intelligence. In my
model of EI, there are four domains:
self-awareness, emotional self-
management, empathy and social
awareness, and social skills -- or
managing relationships. And the second
two of the those, the empathy and social
skill components, are what make up
social intelligence.
At the time of the first Emotional
Intelligence book the field was very
young. Goleman reported on the
emerging evidence that emotions might
actually help thinking. Neuroscience
imagery was just getting advanced
enough to show hints of how the brain
actually processes information, and
scholars and practitioners were
beginning to measure and teach about
this linkage.
Now over a decade later the science has
advanced dramatically and Golemans
new book documents some of the critical
developments. I couldn't have written
this book when I wrote emotional
intelligence because the science is so
new; it didn't exist in 1995. The field of
social neuroscience has only published
its first journal in the last few months.
And social neuroscience expands the
domain of studies from one brain and
one body and one person to two or more
brains and body and people. In other
words, it's a neuroscience of what
happens during interaction. This turns
out to be extraordinarily important as an
insight and helps us understand the
parallel circuitry that handles our
relationships.
The parallel circuitry is a phenomenal
discovery that, like some many
discoveries, happened by accident.
Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti, MD,
and his colleagues at the University of
Parma were mapping the brains of
monkeys to see how specific areas of the
brain function
1
. They were monitoring
a cell, Goleman says, that only fired
when the monkey lifted its arm. One
day, the cell fired even though the
monkey hadn't lifted its arm -- they
realized he was watching a lab assistance
eat an ice cream cone. Whenever the
human lifted his arm, the monkeys cell
fired. In other words the neuron was
activated as if the money were taking
action. It turns out to be exactly what
happens in human brains too. As you
see something, it activates that pattern in
you.
The work with mirror neurons is
proceeding furiously around the world.
Christian Keysers and Bruno Wicker
have shown that one persons emotions
activate another persons mirror
neurons
2
. At the University of San Diego
Dr. V.S. Ramachandran is studying the
link between mirror neurons and
autism
3
. In short, our brains are
constantly reacting to the environment
and literally changing based on the
people around us.

Mirror neurons form a kind of biological
map of the observed world, literally imprinting
others behaviors in our brains.
2007 Six Seconds 3
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Mirror neurons are a kind of neural wi-
fi that monitors what is happening in
the other people. This system tracks
their emotions, what movements they're
making, what they intend and it
activates, in our brains, precisely the
same brain areas as are active in the
other person, Goleman explains. This
puts us on the same wavelength and it
does it automatically, instantaneously
and
unconsciously.
While being on
the same
wavelength is
fabulous when a
team is working
well, weve all
seen how one
grouch can
sabotage the
flow especially
when its the
boss. Emotions
are infectious,
one persons
mood literally
changes the others brains. Because the
social brain connects us so intimately, it
provides the mechanisms that make
emotions contagious and emotions are
most contagious from the most powerful
person in the room outward. This means
that, for example, if a boss is angry or
belittling or hypercritical, that the boss is
going to create a state in the person
who's a target of that that it actually
disables them from being able to work at
their best. So that boss is, in effect,
creating his or her own problems.
For a decade EQ trainers and coaches
have worked with leaders to be more
aware of the shadow they cast or the
light they shed on an emotional level.
Goleman says now the neuroscience
makes the case so strongly that even the
most leave those feelings at the door
kind of boss has to consider the
emotional fallout of his reactions. The
internal state of the leader affects the
internal state of the people and therefore,
their ability to perform. That has
profound implications for leadership.
Yet for bottom-line, quantitatively
oriented leaders, isnt this squishy
emotional talk just a distraction from
accomplishing
the work at
hand? Not so
says Goleman
because even
the most
spreadsheet-
driven
executive
needs to be
concerned
about optimal
function. The
brain is
designed to
have the
reciprocal
relationship between states of negative
emotional arousal and of optimal
cognitive efficiency. Optimal cognitive
efficiency means that the brain is
working at its best for the task at hand.
If you want maximal productivity and if
you want work that gets the best results,
he continues, you want the people
doing that work to be in the optimal
brain state for the work. You are a
person who can evict them from the
zone of optimal performance by
slothfully handling your own
interactions with them. So it's up to you
to take responsibility for your impact on
their ability to work at their best.
The bottom line is leaders have to take
more responsibility for the impact they
have on the people that they lead and the

The new neuroscience creates a compelling case for
leaders: Your behavior and attitude has a powerful
effect on performance.
2007 Six Seconds 4
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
people around them. And every
coworker does as well.
Social Intelligence provides numerous
examples making the case for this
heightened emotional awareness. One
comes from a study at the Management
School at Yale University. Actors were
recruited to become parts of groups that
were working together on a project.
When the actor playing the leader is very
upbeat and positive and warm, then
people feel upbeat -- and they function
better, by objective standards, as a team.
If, however, the leader is critical, angry,
and negative, everyone else becomes
unhappy and distressed and they
function more poorly as a team.
For example, in a now-classic study
Alice Isen studied radiologists, finding
positive mood enhanced their accuracy
4
,
or Sigal Barsades work on how leaders
positive moods increase profitability.
On the other hand, in some situations a
bad mood is more effective. For
example, Kimberly Elsbach and Pamela
Barr found that people in negative
moods use a more structured approach to
decision-making, but even
they dont advocate for bad
mood organizations. Rather,
mood, or feelings, are one part
of the evaluative process as
Elsbach and Barr conclude:
In making complex
decisions, mood matters
5
.
The Social Intelligence that
lets someone be aware of and
manage these dynamics,
Goleman asserts, are the
lifeblood of an excellent
leader. The mistake that gets
made by HR is they see
someone who is fabulous
individually, whether it's a
surgeon or a computer
programmer, and they promote them to
head of the team or head of the division,
assuming that what made them so good
as solo stars is going to help them be
leaders. But if they lack the emotional
intelligence abilities, empathy and skill
at interaction, they're going to be duds.
And this happens over and over and over
in organizations.
The new science of Social Intelligence
also has profound implications for
education and parenting. Just as leaders
can eject their team members from the
mental state that fosters optimal
performance, the same is true for the
classroom. The conclusion: The
teachers attitude and caring are at least
as significant as the technique and
content of the teaching. At a school-
wide level, the emotional tone of the
school will make or break its
effectiveness.
For children and adults, mirror neurons
and contagious emotions mean role
modeling matters more than ever.
Mirror neurons really support the
importance of role modeling because we

Emotion is communicated between individuals and
across groups affecting decision-making, commitment,
and performance. Individuals with power and influence
have an even larger effect.
2007 Six Seconds 5
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
know that people can learn by seeing
someone execute well. We now
understand the mechanism: When you
watch someone else perform, that elicits
in the same arousal pattern in you. Kids
do this all the time; this is how toddlers
learn at such a voracious speed. They
learn how to do virtually everything they
do without being explicitly told. By
watching others, people develop an
internal map of the observed behavior.
These mirrored arousal patterns become
a kind of template, a map, that makes
imitation so easy.
In the Six Seconds Model of Emotional
Intelligence, this awareness is captured
through set of skills called Give
Yourself. Given that we have such a
profound affect on one another that we
literally shape each others brains, it
becomes critical to consider the ripples
were sending out. Anecdotally its
evident that some leaders inspire optimal
performance because they are so
purpose-driven and operate with such
high levels of integrity. They seem to
send out a kind of magnetic force that
draws out the best in their people. Now
this emerging neuroscience helps us see
why these human signals are so
powerful.

Daniel Goleman is one of the leading voices on the role of emotions and performance.
The author of five books on the subject, his 1995 Emotional Intelligence is an
international bestseller with over 5 million copies in print. To read more about Daniel
Golemans work, visit his website at http://www.danielgoleman.info

Joshua Freedman is the Director of Six Seconds Institute for Organizational
Performance (http:// EQperformance.com), the world leaders in developing emotional
intelligence to improve performance. His website is http://jmfreedman.com

Notes:

1
Experimental Brain Research (Vol. 91, No. 1, pages 176180), 1992 Here is an
excellent article on the history of this science:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/oct05/mirror.html -- and a link to a NOVA special:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/3204/01.html
2
Neuron (Vol. 40, No. 3, pages 655664), 2003
3
Here is a video on mirror neurons and autism:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8WV1zAh9zU
4
For example, Alice Isens chapter on Positive Affect and Decision-Making in The
Handbook of Emotion (1993).
5
See K Elsbach and P Barr, Effects of Mood on Individuals Use of Structure Decision
Protocols, Organization Science, 10-2, 1999.
Socul lnlellgence Slyles.I j C.). Phpps 200Z j www.lnnovulveHumun0ynumcs.com 1
Social Intelligence: the Heart and Science
o Human Relationships by Churlene ). Phpps
WhoI is sociol inIelligence?
ll wus lhe lhrd duy ol un nlensve leudershp developmenl progrum.
smull group ol leuders wus workng wlh 0uvd, u mun who cume
lo lhe progrum wlh u repululon us u vsonury und lhe ublly lo
weuve logelher deus lor hghly successlul busness venlures. How-
ever, u recenl selbuck cuused hm lo begn lo doubl hs wsdom und
leudershp. He reulzed he needed bul wus nol gellng honesl n-
sghls und leedbuck lrom colleugues und employees uboul hs leud-
ershp or lhe dreclon ol lhe busness. ln hs leudershp couchng
group hs wurm smles und encourugng words guve lhe uppeurunce
ol u chursmulc leuder. nd yel, when he ullempled lo leud lhe
group, 0uvd somelmes ulenuled olhers und lhe resulls ol hs leud-
ershp were nol neurly us powerlul us we suspecled lhey would be.
Ve slruggled lo gve hm helplul leedbuck uboul whul he wus do-
ng lhul helped und hndered hs leudershp. lnully, u group member
usked, "Vus lhere u lme here when he wus ullemplng lo leud lhul
we dd leel nspred lo lollow hm"
Everyone n lhe group reculled lhe sume scene. ul one ponl 0uvd
hud physcully leuned nlo lhe group und mude nlense eye conlucl
wlh every person. l lhul ponl, when we lell hs humun conneclon
wlh us, we were nspred lo lollow hm. ln lhe ensung conversulon
we reulzed lhul hs churuclerslc communculon slyle wus lo look
up uwuy lrom lhe group members lo vsuulze hs deus n hs own
heud und lo physcully move buck lrom lhose he wus lulkng wlh.
Ve dscovered lhul he wus llerully losng hs conneclon wlh us us
he spoke. llhough hs words were nsprng, he wus nol creulng lhe
powerlul chemslry ol lhe humun conneclon requred lo move us lo
lollow hm. Vlh lhul nsghl, he used lhe remunder ol hs lme n lhe
progrum lo dscover leurnuble socul nlellgence behuvors und us-
sumplons lo become u lruly chursmulc leuder.
Social intelligence
was first defined in
1920 as the ability to
act wisely in human
relationships. Since
that time, research
on social intelligence
has suggested how it is
linked with everything
from workplace
success and student
achievement to general
well being and health.
2 Socul lnlellgence Slyles.I j C.). Phpps 200Z j www.lnnovulveHumun0ynumcs.com
Vhy s lhe humun conneclon so mporlunl lo leudershp und olher
knds ol socul exchunges und whul ure lhe socul nlellgence com-
pelences needed lo successlully connecl wlh one unolher The
leld ol socul nlellgence gves us unswers. Socul nlellgence wus
lrsl delned n I20 us "lhe ublly lo ucl wsely n humun relulon-
shps" Thorndke, I20. Snce lhul lme, reseurch on socul nlell-
gence hus suggesled how l s lnked wlh everylhng lrom workpluce
success und sludenl uchevemenl lo generul well beng und heullh.
Bur-Cn 2005, 0ruskul 200. Vlhn lhe conlexl ol sx knds ol hu-
mun nlellgenceubslrucl, pruclcul, emolonul, socul, ueslhelc,
und kneslhelcsocul nlellgence s denlled us lhe cupucly lo
relule wlh olhers, whle emolonul nlellgence s more uboul uwure-
ness und munugemenl ol onesell. Gurdner I3.
Socul nlellgence hus much n common wlh emolonul nlellgence.
lor exumple, bolh ure concerned wlh uwureness ol emolons n
onesell und olhers. However lhere ure keen dllerences belween lhe
lwo. Golemun 200Z conlends lhul emolonul nlellgence locuses
on ndvduul uwureness und expresson ol leelngs, whle socul
nlellgence emphuszes whul huppens belween people n relulon-
shps. Golemuns socul nlellgence model denlles lwo key com-
ponenls. I socul uwureness, whch ncludes empulhy lor und ul-
lunemenl wlh olhers und knowng how lhe socul world works, und
2 socul luclly, whch medules elleclve socul nleruclons by
gellng n sync wlh olhers und huvng lhe presence lo shupe socul
oulcomes.
Currenlly lhere s nol ugreemenl uboul lhe delnlve behuvors und
ullludes ol socul und emolonul nlellgence. However, revews ol
reseurch und llerulure on socul nlellgence lbrechl, Burchurd,
elc. consslenlly reler lo lhree busc compelences. Sell wureness,
Empulhy, und Socul lnlluence ollen relerred lo us regululon ol
sell und olhers. These lhree ure lhe buss ol lhe Socul lnlellgence
Slyles queslonnure und educulonul muleruls. Sell wureness s
delned us knowng, honorng und munugng ones sell us lhe loundu-
lon lor mukng consderule choces uboul behuvors ulleclng re-
lulonshps. Empulhy enluls lhe cupucly lo uccurulely underslund
olhers und lo enguge n compussonule, non|udgmenlul nleruclons.
Self-Awareness is
defined as knowing,
honoring and
managing ones self
as the foundation
for authentic
relationships. Empathy
entails the capacity to
accurately understand
others and to engage
in compassionate,
nonjudgmental
interactions. Social
Influence is the
capacity to understand
social situations
and to influence
others to engage in
considerate, thoughtful
relationships.
Socul nlluence s lhe cupucly lo underslund socul sluulons und
lo nlluence olhers lo ucl n wuys lhul poslvely mpucl socul nler-
uclons und oulcomes. ll lhree ure essenlul lor lullllng nlerper-
sonul relulonshps.
The nev science oI inIerpersonol reloIionships
Vhle lhe leld ol socul nlellgence denlles powerlul compelen-
ces lor nlerpersonul nleruclon, lhe "new scence ol relulonshps"
llumnules how lhe brun ucluully promoles humun conneclon und
communculon. Much ol lhe exclemenl uround lhe neuroscence ol
relulonshps comes lrom lhe sense ol lnully unlockng lhe mysleres
ol our humun conneclon, somelhng so key lo our exslence, yel unll
recenlly wus releguled lo lhe slulus ol "louchy leely." Behuvorul
neuroscenlsls cun now sludy brun processes underlyng humun
behuvor und nleruclon. Mcroeleclrodes ure used lo meusure lhe
eleclrcul uclvly ol neurons n lhe brun und brun scuns ndcule
ncreused uclvly n speclc purls ol lhe brun whle people ure
enguged n uclvles such us rememberng, speukng or conneclng
wlh olhers.
n umuzng recenl dscovery lrom neuroscence s lhul lhe humun
conneclon s meduled by lhe bruns "mrror neurons," whch gve
humun bengs und olher creulures lhe propensly lo mmc one
unolhers behuvors. Beyond mmcry, lhese lny neurons ulso creule
nlernul represenlulons n our bruns ol whul olhers ure experenc-
ng. ln olher words, we lruly experence whul olhers leel. People
connecl wlh und ullecl one unolher n lungble wuys whelher or nol
lhey choose lo do so or ure conscous lhul lhe conneclon s huppen-
ng. Golemun relers lo lhs ullnly lor humun conneclon us emo-
lonul Vl ll, "u remurkuble neurul evenl. lhe lormulon belween lwo
bruns ol u lunclonul lnk, u leedbuck loop lhul crosses lhe skn-und-
skull burrer belween bodes" Golemun, 200Z. The mplculon
lor communculon s lhul our conneclon wlh one unolher s more
movng lhun our ucluul words. lruly meunnglul conversulon goes
beyond |usl lulkng or shurng nlormulon. ll evokes our underlyng
socul nlellgencelhe lunguuge ol emolonul conneclon lhrough
empulhy, lhe sell uwureness ol lhe leelngs we lrunsml lo olhers us
People connect
with and affect one
another in tangible
ways whether or not
they choose to do so
or are conscious that
the connection is
happening. Daniel
Goleman refers to
this affinity for
human connection as
emotional WI FIa
remarkable neural
event: the formation
between two brains
of a functional link,
a feedback loop that
crosses the skin-and-
skull barrier between
bodies.
we connecl, und lhe uwesome responsblly lhul comes lrom know-
ng how powerlully we cun ullecl olhers.
0unel Segel, u poneer n lhe neuroscence ol relulonshps lells us, "Cur
bruns ure proloundly socul.we need conneclons lo olher people lo
leel n bulunce und lo develop well Segel 200." He expluns how
nlerpersonul relulonshps help lhe brun bulunce emolons, regulule
lhe body und ncreuse sell uwureness. ccordng lo Segel lhe humun
conneclon s necessury lor people lo suslun lher "llow ol well-beng."
lrom brlh lhough chldhood, we ullune lo our purenls lor regululng
our physology und lor pullerns ol nleruclon und cure lhul develop
our emolonul und physcul well-beng. Ths loundulonul relulonshp
eslublshes lhe bologcul, behuvorul und psychologcul slruclure lhul
curres lhrough lo our udullhood Cozolno 200."
Humun developmenl lhrough relulonshp does nol slop n chldhood.
ln our udull relulonshps, our nleruclons cun llerully lorge new
pulhwuys n euch olhers bruns lhul chunge our ussumplons und
behuvors Cohen 2005. Chemslry belween people s more lhun u
clche. )usl us purenls behuvors ullecl lhe presenl und lulure well
beng ol lher chldren, so do udull behuvors n lhe workpluce ul-
lecl colleugues. dllerenl bochemcul reuclon s lrggered wlh
pruse lhun wlh crlcsm, u dllerenl sel ol behuvors s sel nlo pluy
when people huve lhe opporlunly lor genune humun conneclon us
opposed lo beng soluled. The chemslry ol workpluce nleruclons
s lungble, lhe quully ol our conneclon wlh one unolher ullecls
our ublly lo shure nlormulon und coordnule our lusks us well
us helps or hnders our prolessonul growlh und commlmenl lo our
leums und orgunzulons. Underslundng lhe neuroscence ol relu-
lonshps und upplyng lhe wsdom ol socul nlellgence ure keys lo
workpluce communculon und nnovulon.
Sociol inIelligence con be leorned|
Becuuse socul nlellgence develops over u llelme ol leurnng, un-
derslundng und developng l requres more lhun cognlve leurnng
such us reudng und heurng nlormulon ullhough lhese ure helplul
us well. Socul leurnng lheory und uppreculve nqury ure lwo
upprouches lhul huve been lound lo be helplul n lhe developmenl ol
Daniel Siegel, a pioneer
in the neuroscience
of relationships tells
us, Our brains are
profoundly socialwe
need connections to
other people to feel in
balance and to develop
well. He explains
how interpersonal
relationships help
the brain balance
emotions, regulate the
body and increase self
awareness.
socul nlellgence. Underslundng how our pusl experence shupes
whul we lhnk, leel und do n lhe presenl s lhe essence ol socul
leurnng lheory. ppreculve nqury lups lhe power ol poslve
lhnkng by engugng our nlenlons und locusng our ullenlon on
deuls und gouls. Bolh melhods lup lhe uwesome power ol lhe brun
lo lorge neurul pulhwuys lor new deus und slrenglhen desred so-
cul nleruclon behuvors.
Socul leurnng lheory poslulules lhul sgnlcunl humun experences
creule ussumplons und behuvors whch we curry nlo lhe lulure n un
ellorl lo udupl lo lles crcumslunces. ln olher words, our unque so-
cul hslores und pusl relulonshp experences wll greully nlluence
our behuvor n lhe presenl momenl Mchels IZ0. Crdnurly lhs s
very helplul becuuse pusl experence s u greul leucher und cun brng
wsdom lo new experences. However, somelmes pusl experences
cloud lhe presenl wlh unreulslc or negulve connolulons.
Engugng our socul nlellgence requres lhul we cleurly see und un-
derslund olhers n lhe presenl momenl. Socully nlellgenl behuv-
or cun be dllcull l our pusl experence s dslorlng lhe reully ol
lhe sluulon und our uccurule reudng ol lhe olher persons leelngs
und nlenlons. key uspecl ol socul nlellgence developmenl s
leurnng lo be us "cleur" und presenl us possble. The smple ucl ol
becomng uwure ol how u pusl experence s cloudng our percep-
lons s u powerlul begnnng lor chunge. Cnce lhe uwureness s
lhere, seeng presenl sluulons more cleurly und mukng more up-
proprule choces cun ucluully begn lo chunge lhe neurul pulhwuys
ol lhe brun. The more one locuses on new ullludes und behuvors
lhe slronger lhey become. n essenlul nsghl lrom socul leurnng
lheory s lhul humun bengs cun denlly und relrume pusl relulon-
shp experences n order lo brng clurly und muke heullhy choces
uboul relulonshps n lhe presenl.
My luvorle exumple ol socul leurnng lheory n uclon s u recol-
leclon ol u young boy n our neghborhood who hud been bllen
by u dog, und us u resull, wus lerrbly ulrud our lumly dog Bess.
Hs pusl experence hud luughl hm dogs were dungerous, und even
lhough Bess wus lrendly und wunled lo pluy Chrs would hde or
The chemistry of
workplace interactions
is tangible; the quality
of our connections
with one another
affects our ability to
share information
and coordinate
our tasks as well as
helps or hinders our
professional growth
and commitment
to our work and
organizations.
run uwuy when he suw her. Cne ullernoon, l heurd u lghl knock
und when l opened lhe door lhere slood Chrs wlh u bluck cupe,
lnlol sword und look on hs luce lhul meunl serous busness. "lel
her oul|" he demunded. l knew ul once whul he wunled. l culled Bess
lo lhe door, usked her lo sl und lulked culmly lo bolh her und Chrs.
Cver lhe nexl mnules u smull mrucle occurred. lrom somewhere
deep nsde, Chrs hud con|ured up lhe couruge lo conlronl hs leur
by sleppng closer lo lhe dog und plucng hs hund on her heud. Bess
responded wlh wuggng lul und wel ksses.
Vhul wus lhe slmulus lor lhe boys bruve conlronlulon luler lhul
week l leurned lrom hs dud lhul he und Chrs hud been lulkng uboul
lhe possblly ol gellng u puppy. s purl ol lhul conversulon lhey
lulked uboul Chrss leur ol dogs und pondered uboul whelher or
nol lhul would nlerlere wlh hs ublly lo cure lor lhe puppy. Cl
course l donl know lor sure whul Chrs wus lhnkng und leelng, bul
l cun mugne lhul hs desre lo gel lhe puppy guve hm lhe couruge
lo conlronl lhe leur lhul mghl prevenl hm lrom huvng l. The boys
bruve conlronlulon cleurly lluslrules socul leurnng lheory. He gol
n louch wlh u leur lrom lhe pusl lhul wus ulleclng hs gouls n lhe
presenl. lucng lhul leur lhrough conlronlng Bess wus u cululysl lor
gunng u more reulslc und helplul perspeclve, lhus ullowng hm lo
ucheve un mporlunl goul.
lke Chrs, we ull know lhul chunge leels rsky und requres couruge
und persslence. Cne ol lhe reusons why chunge s dllcull s lhul
"our bruns ure bull lo delecl chunge n lhe envronmenl und send
oul slrong sgnuls lo ulerl us lo unylhng unusuul" kock, 200. The
brun crculry lhul delecls lhul somelhng s umss s very closely
lnked wlh u purl ol lhe brun culled lhe umygdulu, lhe cenler lor
regslerng slrong emolons such us leur. Cne ol our bruns responses
lo chunge s u wurnng sgnul lo be wury| wuy lo overcome lhe
leur lrggered by lhe bruns wurnng und gun momenlum lor chunge
s lhrough lhe smple, yel powerlul ucl ol relocusng our ullenlon.
Trunng lhe brun lo locus on desred chunge rulher lhun on prob-
lems or delcls s u prmury wuy lo ncreuse lhe socul nlellgence
compelences ol sell uwureness, empulhy, und nlluence.
The "socul nlellgence sessons" luclluled by lnnovulve Humun
An essential insight
from social learning
theory is that
human beings can
identify and reframe
past relationship
experiences in order to
bring clarity and make
healthy choices about
relationships in the
present.
0ynumcs leuders ure bused on socul leurnng lheory, uppreculng
our slrenglhs und luppng lhe uwesome power ol lhe brun lo relocus
our ullenlon on desred chunge. Ve begn wlh ndvduul upprus-
uls lo llumnule lhe slrenglhs euch person brngs lo hs or her nler-
personul relulonshps. Ths loundulon lends clurly und conldence
lor ndvduul explorulon und lhe developmenl ol un deul vson ol
ones sell n relulonshp. Purlcpunls lhen move lo socul skll buld-
ng. Socul sklls ure honed n u lun und encourugng ulmosphere
uugmenled by lungble upplculons lo workpluce sluulons usng
vdeo lupes und scenuros ol reul sluulons. The sessons conclude
wlh ullrmulons ol purlcpunls slrenglhs und ndvduul slruleges
lor munlunng socul nlellgence.
iusI lmogine o Sociolly lnIelligenI CrgonizoIion..
ond World
So lur, weve locused on socul nlellgence lor nlerpersonul relu-
lonshps. Now mugne un orgunzulon n whch everyone hus mus-
lered lhe core compelences ol sell-uwureness, empulhy und nllu-
ence. How mghl we descrbe such un orgunzulon
)usl mugne, lor exumple, lhe possblles ol un orgunzulon lull
ol sell uwure people. ln such un orgunzulon, open expresson ol
lhoughls, leelngs und nlenlons ullows people lo lruly see euch
olher us lhey ure, whch n lurn, loslers lruslng und nlmule humun
conneclons. There s u slrong sense ol lhe presenl momenl n euch
nleruclon becuuse euch person s lree ol lhe bus ol pusl dsup-
ponlmenls und cleur uboul lhe reulles ol presenl relulonshps und
sluulons. Euch persons knowledge ol sell und cupucly lo muke
good choces uboul relulonshps loslers u clmule n whch even lhe
mosl rsky or dllcull lopcs cun be dscussed. People remun cen-
lered und okuy wlhn lhemselves und wlh olhers. ln essence, lhe
cullure s churuclerzed by lukng responsblly lor ones choces,
leelng lrusl und sulely lor open dscusson ol deus und beng n-
spred lo work closely wlh olhers lo uccomplsh shured gouls.
Now mugne un orgunzulon n whch mosl people ure ulso empu-
lhelc. People lrusl lhul olhers ure lruly nleresled n und compusson-
ule uboul lher nlenlons, problems, und hghesl hopes. The norm s
The Social Intelligence
Workshops developed
by Innovative Human
Dynamics are based on
social learning theory,
appreciating our
strengths, and tapping
the awesome power of
the brain to refocus our
attention on desired
change.
lhul people luke lhe lme lo uccurulely underslund und compusson-
ulely respond lo one unolher. They ullune lo one unolher lhrough
beng presenl und lhrough lslenng nlenlly. Senslvly lo one unolh-
er creules uulhenlc und close relulonshps umong people. Curng
uclons n supporl ol olhers lloursh. Nelworks ol lrusled colleugues
lo druw on lor work resources ubound. Synergy wlhn und umong
work groups s u lrequenl und expecled occurrence. The resulls ure
elleclve decsons, successlul oulcomes und producls creuled lrom
luppng ull lhe besl deus und lulenls lrom every sngle person.
lmugne beng led by people who huve lhe perspeclve lo see lhe
needs und nleresls ol lhe whole orgunzulon. They mghl be n up-
ponled leudershp poslons, or lhey mghl pop up lrom |usl uboul
unywhere becuuse lhey ure needed und huve specul lulenls. People
lrusl lhe nlluence ol lhese people becuuse ol lher cupucly lo un-
derslund lhe dynumcs ol groups und olher socul sluulons. Even
n dllcull or lhreulenng sluulons lhey munlun u curng und sold
presence. People wlh lhs genune cupucly lo nlluence olhers ure
honored lor lher vson und respecled lor lrunslormng people und
orgunzulons lhrough lruslng relulonshps. The resulls n lhe or-
gunzulon ure hope und hgh expeclulons, reslency lor problem
solvng, und cullvulon ol exlruordnury ndvduul und orgunzu-
lonul success.
Now luke one lusl slep. lmugne u world ol socully nlellgenl
people. The lnsllule ol Noelc Scences lCNS hus enguged n u
decude ol reseurch lo documenl personul und globul lrunslormu-
lon. lnsghls und conclusons lrom lher reseurch nclude lhe lollow-
ng. Humuns uppeur lo be unquely endowed wlh lhe cupucly lor
lurge-scule cooperulon lhrough sluble relulonshps und recproc-
ly. "Ths cupucly comes lrom huvng lhe brun crculry lo udopl
lhe perspeclve ol unolher, whch cun lurlher promole empulhy und
ullrusm. Ve ulso huve u sophslculed lmbc syslem nvolved n
socul bondng und lovng one unolher. s u resull humuns huve u
nulurul cupucly lo be compussonule, cooperulve, lovng, und ul-
lruslc." lurlher, lhey conclude lhul lhe consslenl choces we muke
nol only chunge our bruns neurul pulhwuys bul n lhe long run, our
genes us well. "ln shorl, we ure -- perhups qule llerully -- shupng
Humans appear to
be uniquely endowed
with the capacity for
large-scale cooperation
through stable
relationships and
reciprocity. Institute
of Noetic Sciences
lhe lulure us co creulors ol our own evolulon" lCNS, 200Z. Ve
ure cupuble ol buldng u suslunuble, compussonule, socully nlel-
lgenl world.
It is not a thing,
Eden, but a pattern
of relationships, made
visible in conversation.
To live in Eden is
to live in the midst
of good relations,
of just relations
scrupulously attended
to, imaginatively
maintained through
time. Altogether we
call this beauty.
Barry Lopez
ExEx 16014
December
2007
Leadership For
Today Series
#2
Col l ege of Agri cul t ure & Bi ol ogi cal Sci ences / Col l ege of Fami l y and Consumer Sci ences / USDA
Within a given day, human beings rely on the ability to
communicate as a means of transferring information.
Whether we speak, listen, write notes or letters, email, or
text message, the process of communicating thoughts,
ideas, and feelings is something we find to be important
but typically give little thought to.
In organized group situations, the art of good communi-
cation helps build trust and respect. It fosters a positive
learning environment and can set the stage for the group
to achieve its identified mission, vision, and goals. In any
group setting, members may share a common interest and
commitment, yet also may see things from a variety of
perspectives. Effective communication is one means for a
group of diverse individuals to share ideas, construct solu-
tions, and make appropriate decisions.
We send a variety of messages on a constant basis
including those messages we intend to send, those we
actually send, messages a listener thinks he/she heard,
responses from a listener based on what they think they
heard, and our response to that response. When it comes
to communication, there is a lot for a person to recall, and
recall is key to effective communication. Research has
shown that people generally remember:
10% of what they read
20% of what they hear
30% of what they see
50% of what they hear and see
70% of what they say and write
90% of what they say as they do something
Communication consists of two basic skills: listening and
speaking. But todays hectic pace of life can make this
two-way communication difficult. Unless care is given to
the communication process, the probability that things
may go wrong in our daily communication with others
is high. In fact, communication should always begin with
listening rather than speaking, thus reinforcing the golden
rule: Listen to understand. Speak to clarify. Such active
listening is the most important form of communication
that can be utilized by members of a group, and it is a skill
that requires patience, practice, and concentration. For
effective active listening, we need to listen without judg-
ing, and then provide feedback that fosters the opportuni-
ty to learn, observe, and connect with the speaker.
THE CONVERSATIONAL FEEDBACK PROCESS
Providing feedback is a crucial step in becoming a bet-
ter listener. It allows us, as listeners, to frame our speak-
ing (feedback) so that we can ask good questions, find
additional information, and provide a better response
thus making us better at communication.
1. Acknowledge the thoughts, ideas, or feelings of the
speaker. These are actions you take to let the listener
know you are paying attention. Practice communication
skills like leaning towards the speaker, nodding your
head, or making comments like I see. These actions let
the speaker know that you are focused on both them and
the ideas they are communicating.
Example acknowledgements: Tell me more. Or That
sounds interesting. Please go on.
2. Use I Messages. An I message allows us to com-
municate or react to information without placing blame
or judgment upon either the person speaking or the iden-
tified situation. An I message describes a listeners
response to information or behavior without asking for
changes to that information or behavior.
Example I messages: I am frustrated because not
everyone in the group has had a chance to share their
Leadership for Today
Effective Group Communication
Karla Trautman, Leadership Development Specialist
ideas for the project. Or I understand what you are
worried about, but Im not sure that I see it the same
way.
3. Ask for more information. Asking for more infor-
mation is critical when a) you dont understand the infor-
mation clearly or b) there is a great quantity of informa-
tion to absorb. Asking for additional information is espe-
cially critical if there is an emergency or crisis attached
with the group interaction. Test your interpretation of
what the speaker is saying. Ask relevant, open-ended
questions that begin with what, how, please
explain, or describe.
Examples: Please explain how this information may
impact the members of this group. Or If we were to
proceed with this decision, please describe how it would
impact business owners in the community.
4. Paraphrase/Summarize. A powerful and important
component of good communication is the ability to par-
aphrase (or reflect). This process lets the speaker know
that you are trying to understand their viewpointand it
allows you to identify or reflect what you believe you
have heard. It clarifies the communication while slowing
the pace (and intensity) of a conversation to a manage-
able level. To paraphrase, simply repeat what the speak-
er has told you, but do so in your own words. Do not
embellish or add details that you did not hear.
Example: I hear you saying that you are concerned
about the groups decision to approve the bond issue and
the impact a new building will have on your neighbor-
hood. What other options may be available?
5. Offer thoughts for additional action. Ask whether
the speaker is willing or wants to hear your thoughts.
Dont give your thoughts if the speaker declines.
Example: Would you be interested in hearing my per-
spective on this issue? If the speaker declines, move on
to another topic of conversation. If the speaker responds
affirmatively, use I messages and a positive manner to
share your ideas, while taking care not to force your
thoughts upon the (now) listener.
BODY LANGUAGE
Body language elements such as facial expressions,
gestures, eye contact, and body posture are components
of non-verbal communication. Whether we are speaking
or listening, we need to be aware of body language. Body
language can tell us if another person is interested, bored,
confused, or in disagreement. Body language should be
used as a checkpoint in a conversationwe can use it to
help both our own and others understanding of a dia-
logue.
Be respectful of cultural differences regarding accept-
able, and non-acceptable, forms of non-verbal communi-
cation. While one culture may find certain types of body
language (i.e., maintaining eye contact or standing close
while speaking) acceptable, another may find that same
expression inappropriate or offensive.
GROUP PARTICIPATION
A group is most effective when all members participate
and contribute to its conversations. When all group
members practice effective communication, a sense of
trust, cooperation, and productivity will thrive. Healthy
groups that have worked to foster a culture of positive
communication will
demonstrate a willingness to work through conflict
rather than avoid it,
demonstrate a willingness to listen and pay atten-
tion to one another,
focus efforts on addressing one topic of discussion
at a time,
help members feel comfortable in sharing
thoughts/ideas,
state decisions clearly so that all members can
understand the outcomes,
provide avenues for feedback,
and maintain a consistent communications process
that helps the group stay focused on its goals.
PROVIDING ENVIRONMENTS FOR
OPEN COMMUNICATION
Fostering an environment for open communication in a
group setting is not always easy to achieve. Therefore, if
provided, such an environment is most often deliberately
planned by group leaders. Here are a few communica-
tion-building techniques that will help ensure that all
group members feel free to share their ideas and
thoughts:
ROUND ROBIN If it is likely that everyone already has an
opinion about a topic, the round-robin technique may be
used at the beginning of a discussion. In addition, this
technique can be used at the end of a discussion (because
the facts and information have been shared). The round-
robin technique works as follows:
1. Ask the entire group a single question regarding the
topic.
2. Allow several minutes for group members to con-
sider the question and formulate their response.
3. Each group member has the option to either take a
turn and respond verbally to the question or PASS.
4. Every person in the group must have the opportuni-
2
ty to share his/her response before any person can
speak a second time.
BRAINSTORMING This is a process used to collect as
many ideas as possible in a short period of time.
Encourage group members to identify a quantity of ideas
rather than worry about the quality of those ideas.
Practicality is not necessary and creativity, both large
and small, is encouraged:
a. Post the rules for brainstorming. The rules are:
- List as many ideas as possible.
- Add ideas quickly.
- A key word from each idea will be noted.
- No judgment can be made about each idea.
- Its OK to expand upon an idea that has already
been posted.
- No idea is too small or too large.
- Brainstorming will continue until no new ideas
are generated.
b. Ask for a volunteer to serve as the recorder. Use
flip charts to record the ideas as they are generated
so the group can view them as the process pro-
ceeds.
c. Take a break after brainstorming to allow group
members to review the list and discuss some of the
ideas.
d. Establish group criteria for selecting the best ideas.
Narrow the list to ideas that meet the criteria. A
final solution may involve a combination of ideas.
NOMINAL GROUP This technique utilizes individual
brainstorming, then small-group discussion. It provides
the group with the ability to prioritize a list of ideas or
solutions for consideration:
1. Distribute a notecard to each person.
2. State an open-ended question that addresses the
issue being considered by the group. For example:
What are some ways to market the downtown
business district?
3. Ask participants to spend a specified amount of
time (x minutes) writing down as many answers to
the question as they can. (Participants should
answer the questions on their own.) They should
record their answers on the notecard they have been
given.
4. Divide the participants into small groups. (If there
are more than eight people in the group, divide into
groups of four to six members each.) Within each
small group, each individual should be given the
opportunity to share each idea on their notecard.
Questions can be asked for clarification, but no
judgment should be made about the shared ideas. A
group recorder should make a master list of the
shared ideas on a flip chart.
5. When all ideas from all members within a particu-
lar group have been shared, each member selects
five ideas from the master list and ranks them on
the reverse side of their notecard. Their highest-pri-
ority item receives a 5, while their lowest-priority
item receives a 1.
6. Distribute 15 stickers to each member. Instruct
members to go to the master list and place five
stickers next to the idea that is their highest priori-
ty, and continuing likewise until they have placed
only one sticker next to the idea that is their lowest
priority.
7. Add the points that have been awarded by the
group to the various ideasthus, a group master-
priority list will have been generated.
EMAIL COMMUNICATION WITHIN A GROUP
Often, group members will communicate with each
other between face-to-face meetings through the use of
email. The use of email has improved the ability of
groups to communicate; it is a flexible and affordable
means of sharing information. However, like other forms
of non-verbal communication, email does not come
without challenges. The following usage guidelines may
help to improve the effectiveness of the communication:
1. Choose subject lines wisely. Recipients may prior-
itize email based on either the sender or the subject
line. Be brief and succinct about the subject of the
message.
2. Never send something in an email that you do
not want a broader audience to see. Be sure to
review the send to and cc list. This is especial-
ly easy to overlook if you often use reply to all.
Assess the content of your statementsonce you
send an email, you lose ownership of the message
(you cannot control whom other group members
may choose to share the email with).
3. Be aware that email can sometimes cause hur t
feelings or complicate issues. This is especially
true if the email addresses a crisis or a controver-
sial issue. If you receive an email that generates
strong feelings or confusion, take your time in
responding to it. Give due thought and considera-
tion to your response before hitting the reply but-
ton.
4. If you must use them, use humor or sarcasm
with care. People often have a hard time distinguish-
ing between comments that are meant to poke fun in
a general and those that are meant to make a point.
Humor and sarcasm dont always translate well via
email because it is hard to know if the writer is seri-
ous or joking. Use humor or sarcasm with caution.
3
5. As a group, decide if email will be used as a
means of sharing group business and informa-
tion or if it will be used as an infor mal network-
ing oppor tunity. This is important because not all
group members may have email or may not check
email on a regular basis. If group members know
that group business will be shared via email, then
they will have the expectation that they need to reg-
ularly check their email. The group should also
identify a means for sharing the same information
with group members who do not have email, so
that all members of the group feel included and
have a voice on important issues.
6. If using email to announce group meetings, activ-
ities, or events, it is better to include the relevant
information directly in the body of an email mes-
sage versus through an attachment. This is a more
efficient use of group members time and reduces
the risk of sending viruses that may be transferred
via attachments.
Through practicing the art of communication, people
can learn more about both each other and the groups in
which they work. Learning the skills of good communi-
cation helps to insure positive and productive relation-
ships with the people around us.
South Dakota State University, South Dakota counties, and U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating. South Dakota State University is an Affirmative
Action/Equal Opportunity Employer and offers all benefits, services, education, and employment opportunities without regard for race, color, creed, religion,
national origin, ancestry, citizenship, age, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or Vietnam Era veteran status.
EXEX16014 Access at http://agbiopubs.sdstate.edu/articles/ExEx16014.pdf.
4
REFERENCES
Cyr, Louise Franck. 2004. Group Works: Effective Communication. The University of Maine Cooperative
Extension.
Learning Today, Leading Tomorrow: Unit II Communication Basics. 2005. Penn State Extension.
Lesmeister, Marilyn. 1992. Leadership Development Within Groups: Communicating Effectively. North
Dakota State University Extension Service.

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