AvMK

AvMK
Avngv` gvdv Kvgvj

cvVm~
AvMK 11 AvMK
2

c_g cKvk deqvwi 2002 wZxq cKvk deqvwi 2008 cKvkK cvVm~

DrmM
KvwbR wkixb Avng` KvwbR Avqkv Avng` KvwbR nvwjgv Avng` GB `ytLx-Awfgvbx-ggZvgqx evb`i fvB nevi Rb Aviv nvRvi evi Rb wbZ BQ Ki Avgvi|

cQ` AZby wZqvm M ^Z Avngv` gvdv Kvgvj

ISBN : 984-300-000207-7

g~j : 140 UvKv

AvMK 11

AvMK

AvMK 11

AvMK

Avgv`i evwoi cyKziUv fiwZ wQjv KPzzwicvbvq| Avgiv wK KiZvg Rvbv? Uvcv wbq Uvcv Pbv Zv, IB avgvi gZv Avi wK Uvcv ev avgv KvbvUvB Pbvi Kvbv jY kvZvi Gckb `LZ bv cq ev Gevi nvZ w`q evSvevi Pv Ki wRwbmUv wK iKgeuvki Zwi eySQ, gyiwM XK ivLZv| evwoi cyKzi _K Uvcv I avgv nq gyiwMZ Gm VKj eYbvwU wVK Kvbw`K Uvb be Vvni Kiv hvqbv| Ze fimvi K_v, AwPiB Avevi evwoi cyKzi wdi AvmZv, Avgiv IB Uvcv w`q nuvUz ev Kvgi cvwbZ bg KPzzwicvbv ZzjZvg| Zvici Wvvq Gb KPzwz icvbvjv dj w`j `Lv hZ, AbKjv K gvQ Ljej Ljej KiQ| Bqv eov eov| Avi Gjv cvZi _K K gvQ Zzj wbq m ejGjv Zv Ijvi evPv gv| GKUz Awekvmi fve gbi ga GjI kvv gvwiqv, Iid kvv, ^vgx Ab nvq`vi Payix, Iid, AbK Zv eySZ bv w`q weqi Awfew cKvk Ki mwZ? Zzwg wbRi nvZ gvQ aiQ?nuv, ay Avwg Kb, eyey, Avcywb, Avcv mevB| A_vr wZb evbi K_vI Gm Mjv| Aek evwoi K_v hLb DV coQ ZLb NvLvbKi AvM GB cm kl ne bv Ges kvvK AvMn fi Zv bZI ne| me mgq bZ fvjv jvM bv, Ze Bqv eov eov K gvQ aivi GB Z_wU bZzb| meZ AvM KLbv evcviwU gb cowb, GLb K gvQ LZ em cmwU Gm coQ| Abi fvvi Aek GiKg AbK M Ges GK M m cviZc wZxqevi ej bv| GKRb gvbyl h Zvi Mvg wbq GZ K_v ejZ cvi, KvQ _K bv `Lj kvv KLbv Zv wekvm KiZv bv| hb Zvi mewKQy Ryo AvQ IB Mvg| Avh! weqi Q-gvm hZ bv hZB AZ nvRviLvbK M kvbv nq MQ kvvi| c_g c_g Lye gRv jvMZv| me gqB eva nq ^vgxi kke-Kkvii M bZ cQ` Ki| kvvi kikvwo bB| GBme M Zv kvwo`i KvQ _KB kvbv hvq hZ weivaB _vKzK eDiv Zv`i kvwo`i KvQ _K ^vgxi QvUejvi M Lye gbvhvM w`qB kvb kvvi fvM mUv bB| ejvi ga AvQ IB wZb evb Zv, Zviv Zv mgqB cvq bv; wbR`i msmvi wbqB gnve| me Afve ZvB AbK GKvB c~iY KiZ nQ| GK mgq Aek GKUz weiw Zwi nqwQj kvvi ga| Abi eYbv hZB cvYe nvK, IBme wZ Zvi KvQ hZB gayi wKsev iZc~Y nvK bv Kb kvvi m Zv Zvi Kvbv mK bB| G AbKUv APbv weq evwoi wfwWI ev wiwP `Lvi gZv| mB Qwei cwZwU gvbyli
AvMK 11

Afw Kx PvjPjb Kx K_vevZv cwiwPZ GKRbi KvQ hZB gRv`vi gb nvK bv Kb, IB weqi m mswk bq Ggb Kviv KvQ Zvi iZ Kv_vq? m nqZv mvRmv `L ei-KbK wPwZ KiZ cvie, wK eii kvjx Kx Kbi `ei Kx ki-kvwo Kx AvZxq-^RbK wPwZ Kivi Dcvq wK? kvvi Aev AbKUv IiKgB| mBme wZi cv-cvx`i Pbv hvQ hgb, Ab ev Zvi evbiv wK Ab mewKQyB Zv A, auvqvU| GgbwK I`i evwoUv ch APbv, IB evwoZ AvR ch Zvi hvIqv nqwb kvvi; dj cyiv welqwUB ZvK wbZ nq Kbv Ki| ZvQvov, Ab AvgwiKvq wQjv cvq eviv-eQi, A_P mLvbKvi M KiQ mvgvbB; wK cwZw`bB `y-PviU Ki Mvgi M bv Kij Zvi Pj bv| GKevi kvv wRm KiwQj AvQv, AvgwiKvq wMqI wK Zzwg D`vmcyii M KiZ? weqi AvM Zvgvi GZ M bZv K? bv M Avi KiZ cviZvg Kv_vq! `y-PviRb hv ezeve RyUwQj, Zv`i KvQ Gjv ejvB hZ bv| agK w`q _vwgq w`Zv| AvgwiKv Zv I`i KvQ ^M| ^M wMq K Avi cvovMuvi M bZ Pvq! Iiv AvgvK ILvbKvi mvmvBwUi m Af nZ ejZv| Avwg Avi Zv cvijvg KB, kl ch Zv wdi AvmZB njv ejZ ejZ _g wMq hb nVvr gb coQ Ggb fwZ Kb kvvgwY Zvgvi wK Gme bZ Lvivc jvM? KiYfve K_vUv wRm Kij kvvi fvwi Lvivc jvM| Avnv, jvKUv Mvgi K_v ejZ GZ fvjvem, nqZv Gi cQb Kvbv ARvbv KviY AvQ, ay ay Kb weiw cKvk Kijvg! I Zv Avi Abvq wKQy KiQ bv! ZvQvov Abi K_v ejvi fwwUI fvwi my`i| Lye mvwRq-wQq, AjsKvi-UjsKvi w`q K_v ej; hb Kvbv myLcvV M ev Dcbvm co kvbvQ| Ii K_v Kvb cZ bZ BQ Ki| m `LZ my`kb, Avevi gvbyl wnmeI Lye fvjv, DPwkwZ, cwZwZ, ^Qj, iwPkxj| me wgwjq m Zv ^c-cyili gZvB| ZvK wbq kvvi Zgb Kvbv Ac~YZv bB| GKRb gvbyl ay Zvi Mvgi M Ki ej, dj Avmv kke gM nq _vK ej wei nIqv AbywPZ| kvv ZvB Avi Kvbvw`b weiw cKvk Kiwb, eis AvMnB `wLqQ| Ab h-Kvbv KviYB nvK Gme welq wbq K_v ejZ cQ` Ki| evbiv GjI m GKUv bv GKUv cm ZzjeB Zvi gb AvQ eyey, (mePq QvU evbwUK m WvK eyey, gRwUK Avcywb, Avi eoRbK Avcv) Avwg mivmwi wMq Kvm Uz-Z fwZ njvg D`vmcyi
AvMK
5

miKvix cvBgvwi zj! c_g c_g zj wRwbmUv h Kx ZvB Zv eySZvg bv| Avgv`i nWmvi Avyj jwZdi K_v Zvi gb AvQ bv? Zv, GKw`b IB mvi covwQjb Avwg AvR KvbvB gvvi, co gvi weovj QvbvwU covZ covZ Avevi wRm KijbGLvb KvbvB gvviwU K? KD Di w`Q bv| DiUv Avgvi Rvbv, gv Zv evwoZ AvMB Gjv cwoq djQb gv covkvbvq Avgv`iK memgq zji covi Pq GwMq ivLZb, ZvB bv? wK Avwg ZLbv RvwbB bv h, mvi Gfve wKQy wRm Kij h-Kvbv GKRb Di w`jB nq| AvgvK Zv Avi wRm Kibwb, fe Pzc KiB AvwQ, Avi ZvwKq AvwQ mvii cQb Rvbvjvi w`K| mLvb wMj ai ZzB, Avcywb Avi wgiv Avcv `uvovbv| ZzB gyL Mvj Ki LvKv LvKv ejwQwj| ZzB h mvii cki Di ej w`wQm, Avwg Zv eySZB cvwiwb| Zviv Zv AvgvK LvKv ejB WvKwZ; Avwg fvewQjvg ZzB mvii mvgb AvgvK WvKvWvwK KiwQm Kb, Di bqvUv wK wVK ne? nv nv nv...| (Zvici GKUz _g, GKUz welY nq) Rvwbm eyey, Rxeb Avwg hZevi wewfb RvqMvq Kvbv ck AvUK MwQ, gb nqQ, Avnv, Zvi gZv KD hw` Agb Ki AvgvK DiUv ej w`Zv! Avevi KZevi h Rvbv cki DiI w`Z cvwiwb, ev `Iqv nqwb, ev w`Z wMq _g MwQ, _vgZ _vgZ APj-A_e nq MwQ, ZLbv Avgvi gb nqQ, hw` KD Zvi gZv Ki Dijv ej `qvi Rb Ifve cQb _K ciYv w`Zv! wKsev Zvi h KqKUv nuvm wQjv, gb AvQ Avcywb? mv nq Gj ZzB mB nuvmjvK WK WK evwo divwZ| mB QvUejvq Avgv`i eBZ GKUv KweZv wQjv bv mv Nwbq Gjv ejv Mjv IB, Kv_v Mwj nuvmwj Z Z Z! GB KweZvi m Zvi nuvm Avi ZzB GKvKvi nq wMqwQwj| mvq ZzB hLbB nuvmjvK WvKwZ, Avgvi IB KweZvi K_v gb coZv| ci, eo nq, Avgvi gb nqQ, ZzB hb IB KweZv _K DV Avmv GKwU Pwi wQwj| mB `k AvRI Avgvi PvL jM AvQ elvi _ _ cvwbZ AvcvZ wbik nuvmjvK ZzB WK WK evwo divwQm GB `k hb AgiZv cq MQ Avgvi KvQ| Aviv ci, hLb Avwg AvgwiKvq wKQyZB GvWRv KiZ cviwQ bv, ZLb Avgvi gb nZv Agb ggZv wbq hw` GKevi KD AvgvK WvKZv, Avwg GKQyU D`vmcyi Pj hZvg| mB h Ke evwo Qo ewiqwQ, Zgb Ki Avi divi WvK cjvg bv ej Avgvi Avi divB njv bv i Avcywb!
AvMK 11

A_ev Zzwg h AvgvK nvZi jLv kLvZ, Zvgvi gb co Avcv? GKUv mv`v KvMR my`i Ki ij Ub, mUvK Avevi `y-fvM fvM Ki, GKfvM iji fZi my`i Ki wjLZ, AbfvM GKB evK wjLZ GKUz Abfve Aijv hZ euKPzi, iji evBi Pj hZ gvvjv| Zzwg GB fyjfvM GKUv eo mwP GuK wjLZ fyj| Avi fvM coZv wUKwP| wjLZ | Zvici KvMRUv Avgvi w`K GwMq w`q ejZGfve wjLwe A_vr mwP AvuKv AskUv fyj, Ifve jLv hve bv, wjLZ ne wUKwPIqvjv Aski gZv Ki| Zvgvi gb co bv Avcv Gme K_v? Avgvi KZevi h gb nqQ Rxebi fyjjv hw` KD Agb eov GKUv mwP GuK w`q ejZvfyj'| Zvici Kv_vI GKUv wUKwP| GKUv Dj wUKwPi Rb Avwg KZw`b ai Acv Ki AvwQ Avcv, bB, Kv_vI bB| ejZ ejZ nqZv Abi PvL wfR IV, Avi kvv weq weg~p nq hvq| GB jvKwUi Kvbv _ cvIqv hvQ bv| hZB w`b hvQ, ZZvB hb `yeva, RwUj Avi inmgq nq DVQ Zvi mewKQy| wK fyj, Kv_vq fyj Zvi? Kb Zvi GKwU eo mwP cqvRb? GKRb Avcv`gK mdj gvbyl, e gvbyli Clvi cv nIqvi mKj hvMZv hvi KiZjMZ, GKwU Dj wUKwPi Rb Zvi Kb Ggb Zzgyj cZxv? Zvi GZ wKmi `ytL? kvv GZwKQy evS bv, wK GUzKz evS, `ytLx gvbylivB Ggb bvjwRK nq| eZgvb _K gyL wdwiq, fwelZi Zvqvv bv Ki, Kej AZxZi myL-wZi ga gyL MuyR co _vKZ Pvq| kvvi KvQ ^vgxi GZ bvjwRqvi KviYwU eivei AbvweKZB iq MQ| wK m Zv eySZ Pvq, RvbZ Pvq Kb Abi gZv AvcvZ`wZ mdj GKRb gvbyl Kej kke-Kkvii wZ AvuKo co _vKZ PvQ| me gvbyli KvQB Zvi QvUejvi wZ Ame wcq GKwU welq kvv Zv Rvb, evS; GgbwK Zvi wbRi I ZvB ZvB ej KD Ggb Ki, Kej IB wZKB Aej^b Ki euP _vKZ cvi, GUv m fveZB cvi bv| Ab hb Avv nq AvQ, kvvi gvS gvS fq nq GB Ame wZKvZiZv kl ch IK Kv_vq wbq hve? GKRb my-^vfvweK gvbyli Rxeb wK I hvcb KiZ cvie? GBme fvebv kvvK ewZe Ki Zvj gvS gvS, Mfxifve Abi GBme welq-Avkq eyS wbZ Pvq| eySZ cvi bv ej evb`i wRm Kivi K_v fve| wK evbivI meZ Gme _K Zv`i fvBK GKUz `~iB ivLZ Pvq| GB kke-KkviPviY Avi Zvi m eZgvbK
AvMK
6

wgwjq-wgwkq GKvKvi Aevq co evbiv KLbv AvuPj w`q PvL gyQ bq, KLbv AbK wbweo Ki Rwoq ai, KLbv ev ni nvwm nm ej Zvi GZ wKQy gb _vK wKfve i LvKv? _vKe bv? ZvgivB Zv ejv, Avwg bvwK Lye wewjqvU| wewjqvUB Zv| ZzB nwQm Avgv`i wnii UzKiv fvB| cw_exZ GiKg fvB K-Uv evbi _vK? Zv eDUv Kgb cqwQm? Rvjvq bvwK Lye? kvv eySZ cvi Lye Kkj cmjvK eZgvb wdwiq Avbv nQ| Ab nv nv Ki nvm Avi bv, Avgvi RvjvqB Ii Rxeb AwZ, AvgvK Avi Rvjve KLb? ZvB bv kvvgwY? kvv Avi wK eje? hv-I ev ejZv, mevi mvgb Avnv` Ki kvvgwY WK Zv-I fyj Ki w`jv| Zv, Abi GB aibi K_v bj kvvi K nq| eySZ cvi memgq GKB welq wbq M Ki ej Abi fZi weeZeva AvQ| kvv KvbvfveB mUv `~i KiZ cviwb| H GKw`bi GKwU K_v _KB I fe wbqQ, Gme welq kvvi Kvbv AvMn bB; md eva nq kvb| wK Gme b b h kvvi GKUv jvfI nqQ, AbK Zv K evSve? D`vmcyi Mvg, cv Avi BQvgwZ b`x, kxZi mKvj I mv, Mig cv cyo hvIqvi gZv evjygq cvi cvo, elvq DuPz cvo _K cvq Suvwcq cov, wK bZzb Avmv cvwbZ Wye hvIqv gvV Mvov eowk w`q gvQ aiZ _vKv ^vgxi KwP gyLwU h Zvi GKiKg PbvB nq MQ, m-Zv GB eYbvi YB| ILvbKvi GKUv eomo eYbv evanq m GLb wbRB w`q w`Z cvie| G wK Kg K_v? GKwU A`Lv-APbv cwiek-cKwZK Kbvq ai djv hvq h eYbvq ZvK wK njvdjv Kiv hvq?

AvMK 11

AvMK

2 Ab GZ K_v ej, wK AyZ evcvi nQ wbRi cvwievwiK HwZn wbq Zvi gyL Lye ewk wKQy kvbv hvqwb| GLvbUvq kvvi GKUz duvK iq MQ, wK m h Lye eo Nii Qj, mUv weqi AvMB RbwQj kvv| h-Kvbv weqi cve hZ Zvi eyov `v`v cvci Pcyili LuvRLei bv Ki whwb bvZbxi weq `eb bv ej cY KiwQjb Ges GKi ci GK cve eskghv`v bv _vKvi ARynvZ Aejxjvq bvKP Ki evevi gyL gvMZ gwjb Ki w`wQjb, GB cveI h_vixwZ evevK WK wRm Kijb Qji evwo KB? gvwbKM| gvwbKM Zv eySjvg Kvb _vbv, Kvb Mvg? gvwbKM f`jvK Zv nvZ Mvbv KqKRb! Avcwb I`i Pbb Avev| cv, D`vmcyii gvdvj Avng` Payixi bvwZ| ewjm wK! gvdvj mvnei bvwZ? gvb UzUzb fvBqi Qj? nuv, Avev| Avj-nvg`ywjjvn| Avjvn Avgvi `v`yi Kcvj Lyj w`qQb| ZzB gZ w`q `| LuvRLei bv KiB... gvb Qj Kgb ... Gjv Rvbvi `iKvi bB| hvi evc-`v`v GZ fvjvgvbyl, m Lvivc nZ cvi bv| Iu`i i weky| Zviv Zv wPwbm bv, RvwbmI bv, Iuiv wVK mvaviY gvbyl bb| UzUzb fvBK Zv Avwg eivei gnvgvbe Rb GmwQ| Zvi Qj Avgvi bvZwb-RvgvB ne, Avjvni KvQ nvRvi kvKi| Gici `v`v `xN M duv`jb| eyov eqm `v`vi M Kivi ceYZv eoQ, KD-B wekl gbvhvM w`q kvb bv| wK Gevi evev Mfxi gbvhvM w`jb| AvdUvi Aj, gqi weq w`Qb Zv! M Abi `v`v Qo Ii evev A_vr kvvi `v`vi KvQ UzUzb fvB nvq`vi Avng` PayixZ Gm cojv UzUzb fvB KZ jvi gvbyl wQjb| mB wewUk Avgj Abvm Kijb, gvvm Kijb `y-evi, AvBwmGm-G KZ eov KwZZ `Lvjb| ZLb Zv evOvwj gymjgvbiv zji Mw civZB wngwkg LZv, Avi wZwb wekwe`vjq ch cwiq Mjb! cyiv gvwbKM gnKzgvq GZUv KwZZi AwaKvix Avi KD wQjv
AvMK 11

bv| GgbwK mviv `kI Zuvi gZv jvi jvK AZ gymjgvb`i ga Lye ewk `Lv hZ bv| mevB ZuvK GKbvg wPbZv| Avgv`i `~i-mKi AvZxq Zuviv, A_P ZvB wbq Avgv`i Mei A wQjv bv| Avwg Zv ay Zuvi K_v kvbvi RbB IB evwoZ hZvg| Zviv Zv GLb ay mvifvBf Kivi Rb nvwcZk Ki gwim, A_P Dwb GZ eo PvKwi, vUvm, mvebv me Qo Mvg Pj Mjb| mvaym bv nj KD Ggb KiZ cvib? ZvK `L wKQy evSv hZ bv, ZzBI Zv `LwQm, gb nqQ h jvKUv Ggb AmvaviY? Zvi IB Mvg Pj hvIqv wbq KZ K_v, KZ Rbv-Kbv! AvwgI wRm KiwQjvg Kb wZwb GgbwU Kijb| wZwb ejZb Avgvi mvbiv eo nQ| Avgvi Zv e`wji PvKwi, AvR GLvb AvwQ Zv Kvj ILvb| GZ I`i Kvbv kKo MRve bv| I`i kke-Kkvii wZ ejZ wbw` wKQy _vKe bv| Iiv I`i AwiwRbi K_v RvbZB cviebv mvb`i kKo Zwii Rb, AwiwRb Pbvbvi Rb h jvK AZv eo PvKwi Qo Mvg Pj hvq, Zvi Qj Kgb ne, ZzB eywSm bv! Mvav Kv_vKvi!... `v`vi GBme M PjZB _vKjv| hvKB cvb ZvKB wbq `bAvgvi `v`ygwbi weq w`wQ Kv_vq Rvbv? gvdvj Avng` Payixi bvwZ, nvq`vi Avng` Payixi GKgv Qj Ab nvq`vi Payixi m| Zvici `xN M| GBme Mi aib `L gb nq GB Payixiv RvZxq chvq KZB-bv iZc~Y ewZ| A_P Zuv`iK K-B ev Pb? kvvi `v`v Aek Gme fveb bv| wecyj Drmvn wZwb Zuv`i Mie-Mv_v ejZ _vKb| AbKw`b kvvK WKI mme K_v wbqQb eySwj `v`ygwb, Iiv nQ cKZcB Lvb`vwb eski jvK| me Lvb`vwb Aek DrK nq bv, Lye fvjv avbI hgb wKQy wPUv _vK, AbK Lvb`vwb eskI Zgb eL hvIqv wKQy gvbyl _vK| wK I`i eskwU m~Y ewZg| Kb Rvwbm? GB eski cwZwU cyil Qji msLv gv GKRb| hgb Ab Zvi evevi GKgv Qj, Zgwb nvq`vi Avng` mvneI Zuvi evevi GKgv Qj, gvdvj mvneI ZvB| Avwg Zuv`i c~ecyil`i BwZnvm hZUzKz Rvwb meB evcviwU GKB iKg| AyZ bv? wK GUv cavb welq bq, cavb welq nQ GB jvKjv esk ciivq Zuv`i mgqi kZg gvbyl wQjb| Zuv`i bvbvb KxwZ gvbyli gyL gyL wdiZv| hgb ai, UzUzb fvBqi `v`v, gvb Zvi kii `v`vi K_v ejwQ (kvvi ZLbv weq nqwb wK `v`v Aejxjvq Zvi ney eii evevK ki ej m^vab KiQb `L kvv nvmZ wMqI Pc hvq),
AvMK
8

Dwb wK GKUv KviY wewUk miKvii `qv Lvb evnv`yi Dcvwa MnY A^xKwZ RvwbqwQjb| GRb wZwb wewUk`i weivMfvRbI nqwQjb| NUbvUv Avwg wVK Rvwb bv, ay GKUz GKUz gb co, Avgvi `v`v AvZxqZvi m~ ai Me Ki jvKRb`i ejZb`LQ Avgvi fvB Mvjvg Avng` Payix wewUk`i Kgb eyov AvOyj `wLq w`qQ! Zv GUv Mjv Mvjvg Avng` Payixi K_v Zuvi Qj gvdvj Avng` PayixI Kg hvb bv| DivwaKvi m~ cvIqv Rwg`vwi wZwb ^Qvq ZvM KiwQjb| GgwbZI Rwg`vi ejZ Avgv`i mvgb hgb GKUv AZvPvix exfrm ic dzU IV, Zuviv Zv wQjb bv| Rvi Ki LvRbv Av`vq Kiv, KviY-AKviY cRv`i Ici AZvPvi Kiv Gme e`bvg Zuv`i m^ Lye GKUv wbwb| eis cRv`i cwZ bvbviKg mnvbyf~wZi KvwnbxB ewk kvbv hZ| GgbwK Zuviv h wVK cPwjZ XOi Rwg`vi wQjb bv mUv Zuv`i evwo `LjI evSv hvq| eo evwo, wK mLvb Kvbv `vjvb bB, cyivUvB mvaviY wUbi Ni| Zv, gvdvj mvne wbRi gZv Ki Rwg`vwi c_v wejy Kijb, Mvgevmx`i ejjbZvgiv Avgvi Rwg Pvl Ki dmji AaK `e, evwK AaK Zvgv`i| Rwg`vii KvQ _K GiKg Awfbe NvlYv H Aji mvaviY Mixe-`ytLx gvbyl`i RxebhvvB cv w`qwQj| wZwb Zuvi RwgZ ay ^Qj Pvlx`iB bq, f~wgnxb `wi` Pvlx`iI KvR Kivi Rb WvKZb| cqvRb nvji ej`, exR BZvw` w`q Zv`i mvnvhI KiZb| Aek Gme Avwg `wLwb, Kej bwQ, wK wbRi PvL hv `LwQ mUv njv Zuvi cwjwUKvj vcqU IB mgqi Rb hv ek ewZgx wPvaviv wQjv| Zvi kii gZvB wZwbI wQjb Lye DP wkwZ gvbyl, Ze Zuvi wkvUv wQjv agxq jvBb| weivU Avjg wQjb, cPzi RvbZb, Ges wQjb AmvaviY evMx| Zuvi K_v Kvb cZ bZ BQ KiZv| ag wbqI h Ggb Amvgvb `vkwbK AvjvPbv Kiv hvq, Zuvi K_v bv bj mUv Avgvi ARvbvB _K hZ| Zv, Dwb mviv`k Nyi eZv w`q eovZb, agi K_v ejZb, agi `kb wbq AvjvPbv KiZb, mB m ejZb AwaKvi cwZvi K_v| `kRyo Zuvi bvg Qwoq cowQj GKRb agxq wPvwe` wnmeB| wZwb h cwjwU KiZb, mUv cvq XvKvB co wMqwQj Zuvi IB cwiPqi Avovj| KviY, G`ki gvbyl Zvi cwjwUKvj wfDUv eySZB cviwb| wZwb wQjb Aj Bwqv Ijvgvq wn`i AbZg K`xq bZv| BwZnvm ej, h, Zuviv KsMm mg_K wQjb, wK Dwb wbR mUv ^xKvi KiZb bv| GKUv NUbv ZvK ewj| fviZ fvMi KqKeQi AvMi K_v| ki evsjv dRjyj nK mvne Gjb gvwbKM| Gi wKQyw`b
AvMK 11

AvMB wZwb jvnvi cve Dvcb KiQb, mUv Avevi cyivcywi MnxZ nqwb| Dwb ZLb cvwKvbi cB Kvb KiQb| gvwbKMI wekvj Rbmfv njv `~i-`~ivi gvbyl nK mvneK `LZ QyU GmQ| mB mfvq mfvcwZZ Kijb gvdvj mvne| wZwbI Lye Rbwcq ewZ| Zv, mfvq cvwKvbi c AbK big-Mig eZv njv| RbMY DwjZ, DQwmZ| mB cwiwwZZ mfvcwZi fvlY w`Z wMq gvdvj mvne hv ejjb, Avwg Avgvi Rxeb kL gywRei mvZB gvPi fvlY Qvov Ggb mvnmx eZv Avi KLbv wbwb| Avwg ZLb 17/18 eQii hyeK, i cvwKvbi XD jMQ| Avi mB gyn~Z nK mvneK mvgb iL gvdvj mvne ejjbnK mvne, Avwg Avcbvi jvnvi cv ei weivwaZv Kwi| GgbwK Avwg cvwKvbi KbmI MnY Kwiwb| ZvB ej AvgvK Avevi KsMmx fveeb bv, IivI Avcbv`i gZvB avvevR, RbMYK wRw Ki wbR`i ^v_ Dvi e| GZ eyw Avcbvi nK mvne RbMY fvjvem AvcbvK ki evsjv bvg w`qQ mB AvcwbB Kx bv Mvw-bni Avi wRbvni duv` cv w`jb! GZUzKz eySZ cviQb bv h, iv fO Mj RbMYi kw I mvnm Kg hvq, RbMY wcwQq co! AvwgI AekB wbhvwZZ wbcxwoZ wcwQq cov gymjgvb RbMvxi DbwZ PvB, Zv`i mgmvi mgvavb PvB, wK Zv fviZelK AL iL| wewUk`i Zvwoq w`q ^vaxb fviZel wn`y gymjgvb Kuva Kuva wgwjq GwMq hve GUvB wK Avcbv`i ivRbxwZi j nIqv DwPZ wQjv bv? Avcbviv Zv bv Ki `ywU c_K ivi `vwe ZzjQb Ges RbMYK evSvZ PvBQb cvwKvb Qvov gymjgvb`i Aevi cwieZb me bq| Kb? gymjgvb`i `y`kvi Rb wK wn`yiv `vqx? `wi` gymjgvb`i gZv `wi` wn`yivI wK wbhvwZZ bq? Zvnj? Avcbviv h Gme evSb bv Zv-Zv bq, Zey Kxfve h Avcbv`i gv_vq wn`y gymjgvbi Rb Avjv`v Avjv`v ivi wPv Gjv, Avwg Zv fe cvB bv| kZ kZ eQi ai GB `yB RbMvx GKm AvQ, AvRK Avcbviv ejQb h, bv, GKm _vKv me bq! Avcbviv Kvb mvnm Zv`iK Avjv`v KiZ Pvb? GKwU ivi ga _KB GBme mgmvi mgvavb me| wbqB me| Avi Zvi Rb Avcbvi gZv bZv`i mw`QvB h_| Avcbviv fviZK fO `y-UzKiv Kivi Ame ^c `LZ cvib, Avi GBme mgmvi mgvavb KiZ cvib bv, GUv KvbvfveB wekvmhvM bq, nK mvne| GB `kfvM Avmj Avcbv`i ewZi msNvZ Qvov Avi wKQyB bq| GK `k _vKj hw` Avcbviv Mvx-bnii KvQ gZvi `o ni hvb, ZvB GB wRvwZZ Avi `kfvMi ayqv ZzjQb| Gi cwiYvg
AvMK
9

fvjv bq nK mvne| Avcbviv h wewUk`i nvZi cyZzj cwiYZ nqQb Zv-I evSb bv? Iiv Avgv`i wLwZ KiZ Pvq, Avgv`i kw Kwgq w`Z Pvq; GB Dcgnv`ki h Acvi mvebv AvQ, mUvK Iiv a~wjmvr KiZ Pvq| I`i GB loh hvM `eb bv Avcbvi KvQ Avgv`i Avjv`v `vwe AvQ GB evsjvq AvcwbB Avgv`i GKgv bZv Avcwb fyj Kij GB RvwZ h fvMvwZ coe Zvi Rb Avgv`i fwelr eskai`i KvQ wPiw`b Acivax nq _vKeb, Kvbvw`b gv cveb bv| DcwZ RbMY Pzc Ki gvdvj mvnei K_v bwQj eZv kl nIqvi ci `Lv Mjv RbgZ Nyi MQ| GZY hviv joK j cvwKvb ej wPrKvi KiwQj, ZvivB Avevi wPrKvi Ki ejQ Ryi wVKB ejQb, ki evsjv mvne wKQy ejb| wK nK mvne wKQyB bv ej bxie Pj Mjb| Avgiv eyS wbjvg gvdvj mvneiB Rq nqQ| GB wbq AbK n-P njv, ccwKvq jLvjwL njv| wK Zuvi GKvi c Zv Avi cvwKvb mw wKsev `kfvM VKvbv me bq! h_vixwZ `kfvM njv, cvwKvb njv, wK gZyi AvM ch wZwb GB wLwZ fviZelK gb wbZ cvijb bv| `kfvMi ciciB wZwb cwjwU Qo cvq mKji `wi Aivj Pj Mjb| Zv bv Ki hw` aygv cPwjZ ivRbxwZi mvZ Mv fvmvZb, Zvnj wZwb RvZxq chvq bZZ w`Z cviZb| Gme K_v gb ivwLm `v`ygwb| h evwoZ ZzB eD nq hvwQm, mB evwoi K_v Zvi Rvbv _vKv DwPZ| Gi mewKQy Zvi ney eiI nqZv Rvb bv| kvv GZme K_v bZ bZ AvcyZ nZ _vK| `v`v eyov gvbyl, cuPvi QvwoqQb, mevB wbR`i Rxeb wbq e ej wZwb LvwbKUv wbtm, AenwjZB ejv Pj| wK kvv GB gyn~Z Abyfe KiQ GB jvKwU wbRB GK RjRv BwZnvm| Aejxjvq ej hvQb HwZnvwmK NUbvejx| ney `v`vkii Rb kvvi GB gyn~Z Meeva nQ whwb ki evsjvi gZv wekvj bZvK mvgbvmvgwb mgvjvPbv Kivi `ytmvnm ivLZb| jvKwU m^ Zvi KZnjI nQ| Zvici wK njv `v`y? Zvi bZ fvjv jvMQ `v`ygwb? nuv, Lye fvjv jvMQ| W| Abi KvQ nqZv AbK K_vB bwe, wK Gme welq I nqZv GZ fvjvfve RvbI bv| I Zv QvU _vKZB gvdvj mvne gviv Mjb,
AvMK 11

Ii evevKI ewkw`b cvqwb I| Avi ZvK h Gme ejwQ Zvi KviYI AvQ| Abi `v`vK Avwg Lye KvQ _K `LwQ, Ii evevKI| Zuviv `y-RbB Lye DuPzgvci `vkwbK gvbyl wQjb| D`vmcyii gZv GKUv ARcvovMuvq evm KiI, RvZxq Rxeb eov iKgi Kvbv f~wgKv bv iLI, `k I RvwZ m^ Zuviv h wPvjv Ki MQb, GK K_vq Zv AmvaviY| Hme wPfvebv hw` Kvbv-bv-Kvbvfve RvZxq Rxeb cwZdwjZ nZv, Zvnj GB `ki PnvivB cv hZ| AZ Avgvi miKgB gb nq| AbK Avwg Lye QvU `LwQ, wK Avgvi `p wekvm m-I Zvi evc-`v`vi gZv fveyK I `vkwbK ne| IK bv `LB Zvi weqi evcvi gZ w`qwQ G RbB| Ii evev memgq ejZb, Avgv`i Ggb GKRb bZv `iKvi, `kK wbq hvi GKwU wfkb _vKe, `kK h Rvbe-eySe-fvjvevme| nqZv QjK wbq Zuvi Ggb GKwU ^cI wQjv| Rvwb bv Ab mB ^c aviY Ki Kx bv| wK Avgvi gb nq, IB cwieviB Ggb GKwU Qj Rb MnY Kie Kvbv-bv-Kvbvw`b| nqZv Abi JimB, nqZv ZzB nwe mB Qji gv| gv nq Zv ZvK Gme K_v Zvi ejZ ne! Kx-h me ejv bv `v`y! bv i fvB, jvi wKQy bB| AvwgI Zvi kii gZvB mvivRxeb Ggb GKRb gvbyli K_v fewQ, whwb GB RvwZK cvcviwj bZZ w`Z cvieb| mwVK bZZi Afve GZ mvebvgq GKUv RvwZ Kv_vI `uvovZ cviQ bv| Avgvi aviYv, Ab`i esk _KB Rb wbZ cvi Ggb GKRb gvbyl| I`i eski Qjgqiv memgqB gavwe, `vkwbK Avi mse`bkxj nq| Gi m bZZi Y hy njB GB `k GKRb hvM bZv cq hve| ejv Zv hvq bv, Avjvn nqZv Zvi Mf Avi Abi JimB mB mvbi Rb `eb| Gme K_v ivLv Zv `v`y! kvvi Gme K_v bZ fvjv jvMjI weqi AvMB mvb-Uvbi cm ZvK jvq weg~p Ki `q, Avi `v`v meZ evcviwU eySZ ciB AvMi cm wdi Avmb gvdvj mvnei AviKUv NUbv ewj, kvb| `kfvMi ci wZwb ivRbxwZ Qo w`qwQjb| agxq eZv w`Zb, wK `kfvM m^ Kvbv K_v cKvk ejZb bv| ewMZfve KD G cm wKQy wRm Kij ejZbGUv GB RvwZi Rb GKUv gvivZK fyj| GB fyji cwiYvg kZ kZ eQi ai fvM KiZ ne| wZwb cvwKvb _K wn`y`i Avi fviZ _K
AvMK
10

gymjgvb`i `j `j `kZvMi NUbvq gylo cowQjb| IB mgq wZwb wn`y`i evwo evwo wMq Afq w`Zb, ejZb Zvgiv hI bv, Zvgv`i Kvbv fq bvB| Avwg _vKZ Kviv mva bvB h Zvgv`iK wKQy ej| GB KviY IB Aj wn`y`i ga `kZvMi NUbv NUQ Zzjbvg~jKfve Kg| Zv, GB gvbylwU cvwKvbi Rb whwb Kvbvw`b gb wbZ cvibwb, mB wZwbB gywhyi mgq cvwKvbi c wbjb| kvv PgK DVjv Dwb ivRvKvi wQjb? bv `v`v kv-mgvwnZ GB MvwjUv Zv`i Rbvikbi KvQ ek RbwcqZv cqQ| Zv fvjvB| ivRvKvi`i Mvwj `qvB DwPZ| wK Zv`i GUvI eySZ ne IB mgq hviv cvwKvbi c wbqwQj, Zviv mevB ivRvKvi wQjv bv| ivRvKvi, Avj-e`i, Avj-kvgm Zv KZjv wekl evwnbxi bvg hjv cvwKvb mbvevwnbxi cZ g`` evOvwj`i mebvk Kivi Dk MwVZ nqwQj| Giv me myweavfvMx, MYweivax jvKRb| cvwKvbi cvej^bKvix`i gaI AbK iKg wefvRb wQjv| GKUv Ask md ivRbwZK myweavfvMx IB RvgvZ Bmjvgxi gZv `j; Avevi AviKUv Ask wQjv hviv cvwKvb Av`vjbi m cZfve RwoZ _vKvi dj mB cvwKvbi gZzUv gb wbZ cviwb| GB AskUvK Avwg Lye GKUv `vl `B bv| wK mvivwU `ki gvbyl hLb ^vaxbZvi Rb hy KiQ, ZLb Gi weivPiY KivUvB wK GKaibi Aciva bq? fvjv GKUv K_v ejwQm `v`y| nuv, Zv`i `vl GUzKzB h, Zviv RvwZi AveM-Bgvkbi c wQjb bv| wK G`i AbKB KvbviKg myweavI Zv bbwb! Avi gvdvj mvne Gi Kvbv KvUvMwiZB cob bv| ivRbwZK myweavev` wK wRwbm, Zv Zuvi RvbvB wQjv bv| bBj cvwKvb Av`vjbi mgq Zv wZwb Avi cvwKvbi wec _vKZb bv| `yUv mgqB Zuvi AevbwU wQjv cyivcywi Zuvi wbR^ `kbi Ici `uvwoq Ges RvwZi AveM-Bgvkbi wec| wZwb wekvm KiZb, `k fO Mj RbMYi kw I mvnm Kg hvq| dj wZwb h KviY 47-G `kfvMi wec wQjb, GKB KviY gywhyiI wec wQjb| Zuvi GB `kbi c-wec Avwg wKQy ejev bv, mUv ZvivB wVK Ki wbm| Ze wZwb h Zvi `kbi evcvi GZUv wiwRW wQjb GUv Avwg ewMZfve cQ` KiZ cvwi bv| UzUzb fvB, gvb Zvi kiI Zuvi GB wiwRwWwU cQ` KiZb bv| wZwb ejZb, `kb Kvbv Abo evcvi bq, h, Zvi
AvMK 11

Kvbv cwieZb Kiv hve bv| eis RbMYi Kvbv gnr AvKvvi Rb wbRi `kb ZvMI Kiv hZ cvi| UzUzb fvB Zvi evevi GB Aevb mg_b KiZb bv ej Zv`i ga GKUv `~iZI mw nqwQj| gywhyi mgqi GKUv NUbv ewj, ZzB eySZ cviwe, gvdvj mvne bxwZi ck KZUv GKivLv wQjb| Avwg wbR GB NUbvi cZ`kx| NUbvUv ejZ Mj GKUz cQb _K ejZ ne|...25 gvP ivZB Lei cvIqv Mjv, XvKvq cvwKvwb mbiv AvgY PvwjqQ| Lei cq mB ivZB Kvb Ave`yj nvwjg Payix gvwbKM m`i _vbv AvgY Kijb| mdjfve AvgY Pvwjq iwUq w`jb h wZwb mvZk ivBdj msMn KiQb| IUv wQjv Zuvi GKwU Kkj, hb hyi Rb ZiY`i msMwVZ KiZ cvib, hb Zv`i gbvej Pvv _vK| Avmj wZwb gvU mvZUv ivBdj msMn KiZ ciwQjb| Zv, ZvB w`qB wZwb gywhvv`i msMwVZ KiZ jvMjb| KqK gvmi gaB wekvj gywevwnbx Mo Zzjjb A-kI RvMvo Ki djjb| Kvb nvwjg Payix gvwbKMi Awemsevw`Z bZv, gywhy Zuvi Ae`vb wekvj| Zv, wZwb GKevi Ab`i evwoZ Mjb nwiivgcyi _vbvq gywhyi NuvwU Zwi KiZ, Ges gvdvj mvneK Abyiva Kijb wZwb hb Zuvi evwowU G KvR eenvi Kivi AbygwZ `b| gvdvj mvne mvb` AbygwZ w`jb| Zuvi PwiUv evSvi Pv Ki `v`ygwb| wZwb PvBZb bv h, cvwKvb fO hvK, A_P Zuvi evwoB njv gywhvv`i NuvwU| GgbwK A-k ch IB evwoZB Rgv Ki ivLv njv| Kvb nvwjg RbbB KvRwU KiwQjb| Zv, mB MvgI GKw`b cvwKvb Avwg Gjv| Ab`i evwoi GKUz `~iB wQjv Wvvi evwo| GB Wvvi Avwjg wQjb wewUk Avwgi Wvvi| Aemi bqvi ci MvgB emevm KiZb| wZwbI Zuvi evwoZ gywhvv`i cwkY w`Zb mB Aciva cvwKvwbiv Zuvi evwo cywoq `q| bwQ gZzi AvM ch wZwb mB wZ iL w`qwQjb| Zuvi cyiv evwoUvB mB cyo hvIqv wUb w`qB di Zwi KiwQjb wZwb| Zv, h_vixwZ Avwgiv Ab`i evwoZI Gjv BwZgaB Zviv ivRvKvi`i KvQ GB evwoi K_v bQ| gvdvj mvne h mvPv gymjgvb Ges mvPv cvwKvwb mB LeiI RbQ Ges GKBm RbQ h, GB evwowUB GB Aji gywhvv`i NuvwU wnme eeZ nQ| evcviUv Zviv wbqB gjvZ cviwb, mUv evSv Mjv Zv`i K_vevZvZB| IB w`b Avwg IB evwoZB wQjvg| cvjvZ cvjvZ kl ch Zuvi KvQB Avkq wbqwQjvg| Iiv Gm gvdvj mvnei m K_v
AvMK
11

ejjv| GKRb gRi GmwQj, ejjv Avcwb _vKZ GB GjvKvq gywi GZ DrcvZ Kb? gvdvj mvne ejjb DrcvZ ejQv Kb? Iiv Zv I`i AwZ ivi Rb joQ| Zvi gvb? Avcwb gyw`i mvcvU Kib? Avcwb wK Zvnj Pvb cvwKvb fO hvK? bv, Zv PvB bv| wK Zvgiv hv i KiQ, ZvZ cvwKvbK iv Kiv hve bv| Avcbvi K_v eySZ cviwQ bv| Avgiv Zv Kej cvwKvbK ivi RbB hy KiwQ| bv, Zv KiQv bv| Zvgiv Ryjg y KiQv| AvjvnZvqvjv Rvwjg`i cQ` Kib bv| Zvgiv wbixn gvbyljvK wbwePvi nZv KiQv, evwoNi cywoq w`Qv, gq`i ai wbq wbhvZb KiQv, Avevi Gjv KiQv Bmjvgi bvg w`q| AvjvncvK KvbvfveB Bmjvgi GB Aegvbbv mn Kieb bv| wK Ryi, hyi mgq GiKg `y-GKUv NUbv Zv NUB| Zv NUZ cvi, wK h hy Bmjvg ivi bvg nQ mLvb G aibi NUbv NUZ cvi bv| Bmjvgi BwZnvm GUv bB| Zvgiv AwkwZ, gyL ZvB Rvbv bv, evSv bv| hy Kie Zvgvi cwZc hvv`i m, wbixn gvbyli Ici Ryjyg KiQv Kb? Ryjyg Kiv `~i _vK, Zv`iK wbfiZv I Avkq `qvB Bmjvgi bxwZ| Avgv`i bexwR mfveB hybxwZ wVK KiZb| Zvgiv mw`b Wvvi evwo cywoq w`qQ| Zvi Aciva m gywhvv`i cwkY `q GB Zv! wVK AvQ eySjvg, wK cvovbvi AvM IB evwoZ Kvbv gvbyl bv cq MijvK Mvqvj Ni eua evBi _K Zvjv jvwMq Avb awiq w`qQ| ew`-evev Rxejv AvZbv` KiZ KiZ gviv MQ| ejv, IB wbixn Rxejv wK `vl KiwQj, ejv KviAvb nvw`mi Kv_vq GB wkv `qv nqQ, ejv Bmjvgi BwZnvm Ke Kv_vq GiKg RNb NUbv NUQ? GZme cki Di `qvUv IB gRii c me wQjv bv m Zv eySZB cviwQm| AbKY Pzc _K m ejjv Avcwb wK gb Kib, hy Ki Avgiv fyj KiwQ? hw` mwZ Zvgiv cvwKvb ivi Rb hy KiZ Zvnj mUv wVK wQjv, wK Avgvi Zv gb nq h, Zvgiv aiB wbqQ GB hy RZv Zvgv`i c me bq| cvwKvb fO hve, evsjv`k ^vaxb ne GUv ai wbqB
AvMK 11

Zvgiv cwiKwZfve G`ki mewKQy asm Ki w`Qv, hZUv me G`ki gvbyli mebvk Ki hvQv| bBj wbRi `k gb Kij wK KD mLvb Ggb asmh PvjvZ cvi! mwZ Ki ejv Zv, Zvgiv wK Ici gnj _K GiKgB BwZ cqQ? Gme K_vevZv b IB gRi wbwZfveB iM hvwQj| Zvi jvj nq hvIqv gyL `L h KD fq cq hZ; Avi ZLb Zv cvwKvwb`i gyLvgywL njB h KD fq gyZ w`Zv; wK gvdvj mvnei cej ewZ, agKi myi K_v ejv `L gRi Kvbv K_vB ejwQj bv| Pj hvevi Rb DV `uvwoq m nqZv Zvi AevbwU gb Kwiq `qvi RbB ejjv Avgiv Rqi RbB GmwQ Payix mvne| AZ Bwqv ev Zvi `vjvj`i KvQ nvi gvbvi Pq gZzKI fvjv gb Kwi Avgiv| wK Avcbv`i gZv Bmjvgwcq gvbylI hw` cvwKvbi wei Pj hvb, gyw`i mvnvh-mnhvwMZv Kib, Zvnj Avgv`i c wKfve cvwKvbK wUwKq ivLv me? Avwg cvwKvbi wec Pj MwQ Zv ZvgvK K ejjv? Avwg Zv memgqB ewj iv fO Mj RbMYi kw I mvnm Kg hvq... hw` ZvB nq Zvnj gyw`i mvnvh Kib Kb? gyw`i mvnvh Kwi mUvB ev ZvgvK K ejjv? Avwg ay ejwQ Iiv I`i Aevb _K wVK KvRwUB KiQ| Zvgiv ay giB hve, Ryjyg-AZvPvi Kie, Avi GLvbKvi hyeKiv mjv ay em em `Le, gyL eyR me mn Kie, Zv-Zv nq bv| hyeK`i Pwii m mUv gvbvqI bv| Zv eySjvg Payix mvne, Avcwb Avcbvi bwZK Aevb _K K_vUv ejQb; wK ZvB ej Avcwb Zv`i Avkq-ckq w`Qb, GUv Zv wVK bq | Avgiv bwQ Avcbvi evwoZB Zviv A-k gRy` Ki iLQ| K ejQ ZvgvK gvdvj mvne MR DVjb ejv K ejQ? h-B ejyK, K_vUv Zv mwZ? Zzwg wK Zjvwk PvjvZ PvI? nuv, PvB| IB mgq Avgiv hviv mLvb DcwZ wQjvg, meviB AivZv Kuc DVjv| Gevi evanq Avi iv bB| wK gvdvj mvne wbweKvi| ejjb wVK AvQ, PvjvI Zjvwk| wK gb iL, hw` wKQy bv cvI Zvnj AvgvK GB wg_ nqivwbi Rb Avkcvki `kMvgi gvbyl Rov nq hve| Zvgvi KvQ hZ AB _vKzK, GZjv gvbyli nvZ _K Zzwg invB cve bv|
AvMK
12

Avi hw` wKQy cvB gRii K Pvj Zvnj AvcbvK Zv eUB, `kMvgi GKRb jvKKI Avwg RxweZ ivLev bv| cZKwU evwo Avwg Rvwjq cywoq QviLvi Ki `ev| Zvgiv Zv ay IUzKzB cviv| wK Zzwg Rvbv bv gRi, Zzwg Kvi mvgb `uvwoq K_v ejQv| Avwg gvdvj Avng` Payix| Avgvi GKwU BwZB Zvgvi gZv `kRb gRiK cvwbZ Pzweq gvivi Rb h_| hvI Zvgvi Pvj Avwg MnY Kijvg Zjvwk Kiv| Zuvi K_vevZvq Avgiv nZevK| GB wi Dwb wbQb wKfve? evcviwUK wbQK cvMjvwg ejB gb njv Avgv`i| wK Avgiv AevK nq j Kijvg, gRi Zvi gZ e`jQ| hvIqvi mgq ay ej Mjv AvcbvK wWve Kivi Rb Avwg `ytwLZ| Avcbvi m hw` Avi `Lv bvI nq, cvwKvb hw` mwZ mwZ fOI hvq, AvcbvK Avgvi gb _vKe Ryi| GiKgB wQjb gvdvj mvne| KvbvfveB gv_v bvqvZb bv| wbRi bxwZi ck wQjb GKivLv, wQjv `y`v mvnm| Avi _vKeB ev bv Kb? kixi wQjv Ggb i hv wewUk`i Aaxb _KI I`i `qv Dcvwa MnY KiZ A^xKwZ RvbvZ cviZv| Avi wbRI Zv wewUk Avgj evNv evNv me ivRbxwZwe``i m cwjwU KiQb| Avwg ci ZuvK wRm KiwQjvg hw` mwZ mwZ Zjvwk KiZv PvPvRvb? Avcwb GiKg GKUv wi wbjb wKfve? Zjvwk KijI wKQy cZv bv| cZv bv? Kb? G evwoZ A bB? AvQ| wK mevi aviYv, Avgiv evwoi wm`yK Ijv Rgv Ki iLwQ| Avi nvwjg (gvb, Kvb nvwjg Payix) wK GZB evKv h IiKg cKvk RvqMvq A ivLe? I GZ eo hvv, cvwKvwbiv Ii gv_vi Rb cyivi NvlYv KiQ, Avi Ii gv_vq GZUzKz eyw bB! I AvQv, Zvnj mevB fyj Rvb| A AZ wm`yK bB| Zvnj Kv_vq AvQ PvPvRvb? mUv Zv ZvgvK ejv hve bv| AZ gvwUi Ici bB GUzKz ejZ cvwi| Avwg, nvwjg, Avi UzUzb Qvov KD RvbI bv Kv_vq AvQ| IB gRi mUv eySZ ciQ h, Zjvwk Pvwjq wKQy cvIqv hve bv, bBj wK Avi GZ mnR wdi hvq!
AvMK 11

cyiv NUbvUv AvgvK nZevK Ki w`qwQj| mwZ ejZ wK, gywhyi mgq Zuvi cvwKvbi cvej^b wbq Avgvi gbI ck wQjv GB NUbvi cZ`kx bv nj nqZv ckUv iqB hZ| IB NUbvB AvgvK eywSq w`qwQj, gywhyi cwZ Zuvi bwZK mg_b _vKjI, wZwb hnZz `vkwbKfve h-Kvbv `kfvMi wec wQjb, ZvB evcviwUK wZwb gb _K gb wbZ cviQb bv| Zuvi `kb wZwb Abo wQjb ejB AZveo GKRb gvbyl nqI cvwKvb bvgK `kwU _K gvbwmKfve wbRK cZvnvi Ki wbfZPvwi nq DVwQjb| IB GKB KviY wZwb evsjv`ki c bbwb| Gme Zvi fvjvfve eyS wbZ ne `v`yfvB, fwelr eskai`i evSvZ ne| `v`y _vgjb| AbKY K_v ej wZwb LvwbKUv nuvwcq DVQb| kvvi BQ njv Abi evevi f~wgKv RvbZ| wK `v`yi Kvw `L _g Mjv| bv nq AviKw`b wRm Kiv hve fe DV Gjv ZLbKvi gZv| ci gvb, weqi ci kvv AbKB wRm KiwQj G m^| Ab ejwQj `v`vi m Zv Avi G welq K_v ejvi myhvM Avgvi nqwb, Ze evevi KvQ _K hZUzKz bwQ, ZvZ gb nqQ, `v`vi mxgveZv wQjv IB GKwU RvqMvZB| mUv nQ wbR `kbi cwZ Zuvi Abo Aevb| hUvK wZwb `kb wnme MnY KiZb Zvi fvjv-g`-`vl-Y wePvii K_v wZwb fveZb bv| cw_exi Kvbv `kbB h me Kvj me gvbyli Rb mgvbfve chvR nZ cvi bv, GB KbmUv `v`vi wQjv bv| Zuvi GB gbvfvei cQb meZ Zuvi agxq wekvm GKUv iZc~Y f~wgKv iLQ| Bmjvgi g~j KbmB nQ cknxb AvbyMZ I wekvm| Bmjvg gwjK KZjv evcvi Kvbv ck GvjvI Ki bv| `v`vI Zv KiZb bv| Avi evev? kvv wRm KiwQj| Avgvi weePbvq evevi `vkwbK cZxwZ I PZbvMZ gvb `v`vi Pq DbZZi wQjv| wZwbI ag wekvmx wQjb, agxq AvPvi Abyvb cvjbI KiZb, wK RvMwZK welqjvK wZwb ag _K c_K Ki `LZb; wKsev ejv hvq agi m Zuvi ewMZ `kbi GKUv msNvZnxb weij mg^q NwUqwQjb wZwb| Kxfve mUv NUwQj cieZxKvj bvbv D`vniY w`q kvvK Zv eywSq w`qQ Ab| 3
AvMK
13

`v`yi nw^-Zw^ Avi weqi AvMB Zver AvZxq-^Rbi KvQ Me Ki ej eovbvi dj kvvi evevi Avi cQvbvi Kvbv Dcvq iBjv bv| Aek wZwb RvbZb Ab AvgwiKv _K covkvbv kl Ki GmQ, wK ILvbB Avevi wdi hve Kx bv, bv Mj GLvb Kx Kie eemv bv PvKwi m welq KDB wbwZ Ki wKQy ejZ cviQ bv| h AvZxqwU weqi NUKvwj KiwQjb, wZwb Zv bbB, GgbwK Abi evbivI G welq cvq A| GKUv AvgZv AvgZv fve mevi ga| G wbq kvvi evevi ga GKUz mskq wQjv, wK cvi GKvWwgK Kvwiqvi fvjv, eskcwiPq Dj, ^fve-Pwi fvjv nj GZ hvMZvmb Qjiv Zv G`k em _vK bv, mnRB wbRi cvq `uvwoq hvq, bv nq `uvo Kwiq `qv hvq GBme weePbvq weqUv nq Mjv| GLb h-KD Zv`iK `Lj Lywk ne| my`i msmvi nqQ kvvi| Ab eomo GKUv PvKwi Ki, MvQvbv wQgQvg GKUv AvcvUgU Zv`i `y-Rbi Qv msmvi| wK Gme eo K_v bq| eo K_v nQ, kvv GKRb PgrKvi gvbylK cqQ Rxebmx wnme| AZ Zvi ^c hgb wQjv Zvi cvq cyivUvB c~iY KiQ Ab| I `LZ-bZ hgb my`i, Zgwb K_vevZvqI; Mfxi Abyf~wZceY, D`vi, KwWviU, Avevi ek LvwbKUv D`vmxb I inmgq| ZvQvov h jvKwU ay K_v ej Zvi PvL GuK w`qQ GKwU Mvgi mPj wP, KqKwU wKkvi-wKkvixi `yi eo IVvi `k, Zvi cwZ GK A gyZv Rb bqvUv A^vfvweK wKQy bq| kvv wbRB Zv GLb IB Mvgi GKUv eYbv w`q w`Z cvie| Zv, ZvK eYbvwU w`Z ejj m wK eje? Abi gZv AZv mvwRq wQq ejZ cvie bv, Ze Zvi PvL c_gB fm DVe I`i wekvj evwowU| KZ wekvj m m^ Aek aviYv Kiv gykwKj| weNv KvVvi wnmve Avwg Kvbvw`b eywSwb| Ze Ab ejwQj Zzwg hw` evwoUvK K` Ki GKUv ivD w`Z PvI, Zvnj AZ cbiv wgwbU mgq jvMe| GZB Avgvi nq MQ! GZ eo! ay Nyi AvmZB cbiv wgwbU! Zv, mB evwoi Di GKUv cyKzi, cye GKUv| DiiUv gRv cyKzi, AKRv AZGe f~wgKvwenxb| cyei cyKziB evwoi cvY| KPzwicvbv, K gvQ, eowk w`q gvQ aiv, Kx mgq Amgq Ab`i Suvwcq covi `k eyK wbq IB cyKzi Agi nq AvQ| evwoUv wewQb| A_vr Pvicvk jvMvqv Kvbv evwo bB, AvQ dmwj Rwg| Di w`K
AvMK 11

GKUz `~i GKUv evwo, jvK mUvK Wvvii evwo ej Rvb; h Wvvii M `v`vi KvQI bwQ wewUk Avwgi cvMjv Wvvi Avwjg Payix; gywhyi mgq GB evwowU cvwKvb Avwgiv cywoq w`qwQj Avwjg mvne bvwK mB wZ AvgZz AweKj iL w`qwQjb| `wY w`K, GKUz `~i, Ab`i `~i mKi GK PvPvi evwo| G `yUv evwoI eo eo Ges wewQb| Di `wY Aviv wKQy evwoNi AvQ eU, wK jvMvqv bq KvbvUvB| GiKg wewQb evwoNiIqvjv Mvgi K_v Avwg Kvbvw`b wbwb| zji eBZ cov Mvgi msv Avgvi gw XyK MQ KqKwU evwo wbq GKwU cvov, KqKwU cvov wgwjq GKwU Mvg GBiKg; A_vr evwojv cvkvcvwk _vKvi K_v| GB msvi m D`vmcyii Kvbv wgjB bB| Zv, GB MvgwUZ elvq hLb b`x-Lvj DcP cvwb Gm co, ZLb GK evwo _K Ab evwoZ hZ nq bKvq Ki| `kwUi K_v fveZ Avgvi fvwi fvjvjvM| cvkvcvwk `yUv evwoi gvSLvb cvwb, hZ nQ bKvq Ki| Bm! Kx ivgvwUK! Ab`i evwoi cyew`K `xN gvV dmwj Rwg cwiq cavb moKi IB cvk cvkvcvwk evwo AvQ AbKjv| evwoi cwgw`K AcvKZ QvU GKwU gvV cwiq xYKvq BQvgwZ kv eq PjQ| mv nj GB Qwei gZv MvgwUi AvKvk evZvm GK fxlY D`vmxbZv bg Avm| Ab ejQ QvUejvq evSwb, GLb gb nq mv bg Gj AKviY gb Lvivc nq hZ Kb! Avmj IB Zxe D`vmxbZvB Rb w`Zv GK Mfxi welYZvi ay Abi gaB bq mevi gaB| gvbyljv ZLb Kx iKg hb PzcPvc nq hZ! Zv`i PvL-gyL hb GKm Muv_v nq hZ nvRvi eQii weZ K_KZv| mB AvMi `Lv `ki m wbRi eZgvb eva-eywwPv-PZbv wgwjq `Lj Abi gb nq gvbyljv hb GKvji bq, hb Zviv enb Ki wbq GmQ nvRvi eQii cyivbv BwZnvm-HwZn-wZ I Rxeb hvcbi Abvb Abyl| mv bvgZv Avi evwoi gmwR` evev AvRvb w`j evwoZ evwoZ evwZ Rj DVZv| A_vr mv njv, Gevi evwo div hvK| evevi AvRvb wQjv IB Mvgi gvbyl`i Rb msKZi gZv| mvi AvRvb gvb Ni div, evwo evwo mvevwZ Rvjvbv; GgbwK wn`ycvovi ZzjwmZjvq ev VvKziNi aycauvqv RjZv evevi AvRvb bB| Avevi Gkvi AvRvb gvbB ivZ njv, Gevi Nygvbvi AvqvRb nvK| mvi ci eovRvi NvwZbK, ZviciB MvgUv GKevi wbSzg| Nyg wbtmvo| ay Ab`i evwoZ evev eB coQb, gv UzKUvK KvR mi LvIqvi AvqvRb KiQb| Avi Zviv KqK fvBevb zji cov mi M ev Ljvq gZQ| LvIqvi ci gv-i KvQ q
AvMK
14

Ab KQv kvbvi evqbv aij Zuvi `xNkvm coZv RxebUvB Zv GK KQvi evev, KZ M Rg AvQ eyKi fZi... (gv-i K_v Ab Lye GKUv ej bv, ejZ Mj nVvr wem`kfve _g wMq AbKY Mxi nq _vK| Zey GB K_vwU I ej djwQj gv-i KvQ _K icK_v kvbvi mva Avgvi Kvbvw`b c~iY nqwb| ZLb eywSwb GLb eywS, K_vUv KZ eov Rxeb-mZ! Rxeb Zv GKUv KQvB| GKUv icK_v| ay IB klvskwU Zvnviv myL kvw Z evm KwiZ jvwMjv gvbyli Rxeb mwZ nq bv KLbv| gv-i K_vB aiv hvK| KZ eov Nii gq, eov Nii eD, Zuvi vUvmi mevB hLb kvbkIKZ, myL-^vQ` w`b KvUvQ, ZLb wZwb ^vgxi Rxeb-`kbi cwZ kv iL GK ARcvovMuvq nuvwo Vj hvQb| hb ivRKbv MQ wbevmb| Zuvi eyKi fZi bv Rvwb KZ K_v Rg wQjv, Kvbvw`b hv ejZ cvibwb|... KQv bv bB AbK cwZw`b Nywgq coZ nZv Avi gaivZ ^c `L ev cKwZi WvK Nyg fO Mj c_gB cvk nvZ w`q `LZv, gv bB| Kv_vq Mjv GB GZ ivZ! bv, IB Zv gv-i Logi k cvIqv hvQ| K Rvb, evBi nqZv wowo ew nQ, Avi gv DVvb KvZ `Iqv jvKwo ZzjZ evBi MQ| LU LU LU| Logi k cvIqv hvQ| gv AvmQ| LU LU LU LU| Kx wi`wgK gvqi IB wdi Avmvi k| IB k bZ bZB m KZw`b Nywgq coQ di! GLbv gvSivZ Nyg fO Mj Ab IB k bZ cvq | LU LU LU LU| gvqi wdi Avmvi k| cw_exZ Gi Pq gayi k m Avi Kvbvw`b kvbwb|...GBme ejZ ejZ Abi PvL wfR DVwQj|)... D`vmcyii bvgwU whwb iLwQjb wZwb wbqB fveyK cKwZi wQjb, KweI nZ cvib, bBj GKwU Mvgi bvg D`vmcyi nq!...evwoi `wY w`K 5/6 gvBj `~i cv| fxlY ivMx b`x| elvi AvM AvM Zvi ivM eo hZ| cwZeQi GB mgq m Zvi mxgvbvq _vKv wfUevwoNi Avi dmjx Rwg fO wbRi wevi NUvq| Rvqvi Avm| ^Q cvwb Nvjv nq| mvZ gk cej _K cejZi nq IV, Avi Ab ezeve`i m wbq mB Db mvZ Suvwcq co| wekvmB nZ Pvq bv| GZ `ytmvnmx GB jvKUv! hw` fvwmq wbq hZ! cvwb evo| `y-Kzj Qvwcq gvVNvU fm hvq| Mvgi ZLb Ab ic| cvwb Kgvi mgq cv Avevi iM IV| Avevi wKQy Ask fO hvq| GBfve cwZeQi cv Zvi mxgvbv evovQ| (evcviUv Avwg wVK eywS bv| LvgvLv cv evwo-Ni-gvV-NvU fO be Kb? hv`i Ni-evwo fO bq Zviv hvq Kv_vq? Avwg KLbv Zgb Ki Mvg `wLwb| `y-GKevi `v`vi evwo wMqwQ, mUvI gvwbKM kni| mLvb b`x
AvMK 11

GKUv AvQ eU KvwjMv KB mUv Zv fvObv!)... D`vmcyii Rxebhvv cwZ FZzZ e`j hvq| elvq KvR bB Kviv| wbSzg ewZ evPviv nqZv fRvwfwR A_ev Kv`v QuvovQywoZ gvZ, wKsev bZzb Avmv cvwbZ gvV Mvov eowk w`q gvQ ai| ivbvNi Qvjv fvRv nq wSwgq cov cyiliv Lve ej| Kvbv GK Ni nqZv Gm Rov nq Aviv KqK Nii gvbyl, i nq KQvKvwnbx ev myi Ki cywu _ cov| mg_ cyiliv ewiq co gvQ aivi bvbv mivg wbq eowk, SuvwK Rvj, nvPv, `yqvwi GZme wRwbmi bvg gb ivLvI gykwKj| Avmj cyiv welqwU Avgvi c evSvUvI GKUz KKi| `y-wZbU gvm gvbyl Kvbv KvRKg Ki bv ay kL Ki gvQ aiv, cuyw_ cov, Avi QvjvfvRv LvIqv Qvov G Kgb K_v! Mvgi gvbyl`i Zv GZ mq _vKvi K_v bq h, KqKUv gvm Kvbv KvR bv Ki, Avq-DcvRbi Kvbv eev bv Ki, md MRe Ki KvwUq w`Z cvie! A_P Abi eYbv b miKgB gb nq|... Avlvp-kveY GB `y-gvm wgj elvKvj eBZ cov GB msvI bvwK Am~Y| elv i nq ga-Avlvp Ges kl nq fv`i kl| A_vr Avgvi Rvbv kirKvji AaKB _vK elvi cU| Ze Avwkb bvwK mwZ kirKvj Zvi hveZxq ewk wbq cKvwkZ nq A_vr AvKvk Zzjvi gZv mv`v gNi fjv Avi b`xi Zxi dzj dzj QvIqv Kvkeb| ng Drmei gZv Ki i nq avbKvUvi AvqvRb| wK G `yUv FZz elv ev kxZi gZv Ggb ewPceY bq| kxZi mgq D`vmcyiK XK dj ^M _K bg Avmv ^ci gZv Kzqvkv| Avi RvQbv ivZ gvbyljv hb RvQbvi Zwi cyZzj nq hvq| Zv`i Mv _K RvQbv Mwoq co, wfwRq `q i gvwU| mKvj Kzqvkvi Pv`i gywo w`q D`vmcyi Nygvq| gvwUi Pzjvq LRyii im Rvj nq| Abiv cyegyLx DVvb iv` cvnvZ Rov nj gM Ki jvjP Mig im Avi gywo Avm gv-i KvQ _K| KLbv ev evwoi ivLvj QjUvi m civgk Ki Ab `yzeywZ gvZ| ivZ LRyi MvQ _K im co Lq mvevo Ki| mB im MvwQi fvM AvQ| Zvi ivMvivwM Kivi K_v| Ki bv| cyjvcvb Zv LvBevB GiKg GKUv nceYZv Zvi Gckb dzU IV|... D`vmcyi Avmj mcxwZi Mvg| GLvb gvbyl eov fvjvevm GK AciK| Ggb GKwU ^ci gZv MvgI wK Afve AvQ, `vwi` AvQ| cvi fvOb G Aji GKwU eo mgmv| cwZeQiB wKQy gvbyl me^ nvwiq wbt^ nq co| KwlKvR wbfi GBme gvbyl Rwg nvivbvi gZv wechqKi NUbvi ik AbK mgq gZz ch KvwUq DVZ cvi bv| wbRi Rwg-Rgv-evwo-Ni nvwiq Ab Mvg Gm gvbyljv Ni euvaj mgmv
AvMK
15

evo `yB ZidiB| GK Mvg co wZb Mvg gvbyli Pvc, mxwgZ KvRi myhvM Aviv mxwgZ nq hvq, dj emi gvSvgvwS _KB Afvei c`awb kvbv hvq| Pi kl wMq mUv cKU AvKvi aviY Ki| GiB avivevwnKZv Pj Avlvpi iZ AvDk avb IVvi AvM ch| wK hv`i Afve bB, Zv`i PvLB aiv co cKwZi ic-cwieZb| em Mvgi KP~ov MvQjv hb Avb iOv iO mvR, hvi Zzjbv GB cw_exi Avi AbwKQyi m ne Kx bv, A Z Ab G welq mw`nvb| wKsev Mxi evZvm bvbv aibi gmywg dji M hgb Rvwbq `q Avwg GmwQ Ggb Ki ay M w`q wbRi AwZi Rvbvb `qv FZz cw_exi Avi Kv_vq AvQ? D`vmcyii mewKQyB Ggb Zzjbvwenxb, BDwbK Ab GZ RvqMvq MQ, KvbvwKQyB D`vmcyii m cwZhvwMZvq wUK _vKZ cviwb| bvn, njv bv| GB eYbvq kvv wbRB m bq| wK hb bB GB eYbvq| Abi KvQ hv wbRi cvYi gZv wcq, kvvi KvQ Zv Kej MB m wKfve cvie Abi gZv Agb GKUv Amvgvb eYbv w`Z?

4
AvMK 11

Ab AvgwiKvq KvwUq GmQ cvq eviv eQi| `xN GKwU mgq| KZwKQy NU MQ GB mgq, KZ wKQy e`j MQ Avg~j! gvqi gZz ZgbB GKwU eo NUbv| AvgwiKvq ZvK cvVvbv nqwQj Zvi gZi wei, cvq Rvi KiB G`k wKQy ne bv, Qviv niZvj, evgvevwR, wgwQj-wgwUs Kij covkvbv Avi Kie KLb? AZGe G `k Kvbv fwelr bB GB ARynvZ KjR cvk Ki eivbvi ciB ciB ZvK evBi cvVvbvi Rb ZviRvi i njv| evev bB, gv-I Gme welq wPiw`bB gZvgZnxb, evevi gZzi ci wZwb Aviv wbRb nq MQb Abi bv hvIqvi c K_v ejvi gZv KD wQjv bv| evb`yjvfvBiv Zv cvij GKgyn~Z `wi bv KiB cvwVq `q| GgbwKgvK Qvov Avwg _vKZ cviev bv Ggb Bgvkbvj K_vevZvKI Zviv aZei gaB Avbwb| m wMqwQj LvwbKUv vf wbqB| hvIqvi BQ wQjv bv Zvi Kb hb gb nZv, Mj Avi div ne bv KLbv; m Zv fveZB cviZv bv| GKwU wfb `k wMq mUj Kivi wPv gvbyl Kxfve KiZ cvi, m GLbv evS bv| Zv, wMq, hZ ZvovZvwo div hvq ZZvB gj, fe c_g c_g Lye covkvbvq gb w`qwQj| gv GK eQii gv_vq h gv-i gZz NUe, m KbvI KiZ cviwb| Zvi ZLb mwgvi dvBbvj cixv PjwQj, GgbwK ZvrwYKfve ZvK RvbvbvI nqwb h, gv bB| m RbQ cvq eQiLvbK ci hLb dvb Ki Ki, gvi m K_v ejZ Pq Pq mevBK AwZ Ki ZzjwQj| KZw`bB ev Ggb GKwU evcvi Pc ivLv hvq? gv evwoZ MQ, ev Lvjvi evmvq MQ, Kx Amy BZvw` ej ejB ev KZw`b Avi mZUvK VwKq ivLv hvq? Rvbvi ci Zvi mewKQyB Gjvgjv nq co, Zxe GK k~bZv ZvK Mvm Ki dj| evb`i cwZ GK fqven vf Avi Awfgvb Rb bq| m AvR ch G evcviwUi Rb evb`iK gv KiZ cviwb| gvK GKevi klevii gZv `Lv njv bv covkvbv, Kvwiqvi BZvw` wK GBme Bgvkbi PqI eo? Awfgvb Ki m wbR _K `ki m mg hvMvhvM e Ki w`qwQj| `k divi K_vI fvev e Ki w`qwQj m| mUv GRb bq h, ILvb Zvi fvjv jvMwQj, ev IB Rxebhvcb Zvi KvQ AvKlYxq nq DVwQj ev Kvbv gvn mw nqwQj| eis divi K_v fvejB Kvi KvQ wdiev Avwg? Avgvi Zv Avi KD iBjv bv GB aibi GKUv k~bZveva ZvK Avv Ki djZv, ZvK cvq wech Ki ZzjZv| ILvb m wQjv fvmgvb, AZ wbRK m IiKgB fveZv| AvgwiKvi Rxebi m wbRK KLbv Lvc
AvMK
16

LvIqvZ cviwb Ab| GZw`b emevm KiI memgq Zvi gb nqQ G `k Avgvi bq, G `ki KvbvwKQyB Avgvi bq, Gi fvjvg` wKQy&B hvq Avm bv Avgvi| ewnivMZ`i ^vfvweK AvPiY m memgq _KQ Ici-Quvqv, Dvi gZv wVKvbv e`j KiQ evievi| D`vmcyii Rb gb Kuv`Zv memgq| evOvwj ez-eve`i KvQ D`vmcyii M KiZ wMq eKvevwR LZ nqQ KZevi, Zvi Kvbv Bqv bB| Iiv h Kxfve cvi, Kxfve h IB APbv `k wbR`iK Gfve Lvc LvBq bq, Ab Zv fe ei KiZ cviwb Kvbvw`b| AvgwiKv gvbB hb ^M, Avi ILvb hviv mUj KiQ ev KiZ PvBQ Zv`i KvQ `k gvb hb GK wefxwlKv, mLvb `y-Pviw`bi Rb eovZ hvIqv hvq eU, wK emevm Kiv hvq bv wKQyZB| hb GB `kwUZ Kvbv gvbyl emevm KiQ bv, hb G`ki gvbyli Rxeb myL, Avb`, fvjvevmv Avi mvebv bB Kvbv| A_P m `LQ, ILvb wMq AbK evOvwjB Kx gvbeZi Rxeb hvcb Ki, Kx fqven cwikg Ki KqKUv ewk Wjvi DcvRbi Rb! msLvjNyZi Abyf~wZ eyK wbq, wZxq-ZZxq kYxi bvMwiK Rxeb hvcbI Kvbv Avcw bB Zv`i, `k Gi Pq AbK mvbRbK Rxebi mvebv _vKv mI Zviv Zey `k wdiZ ivwR bq| Ab GB gbvfve ARb KiZ cviwb ej gvbwmK hYvq RRwiZ nZ nqQ, Avevi `k divi Rb wbRi fZi _K Kvbv mvovI cvwQj bv| eQi wZbK AvM, AvgwiKv Qo Ab Kv_vI Pj hvIqvi wmv wbq m BDivc gY ewiqwQj, NvivNywi chB, Kv_vI fvjv jvMwb| Avevi mB AvgwiKvZB wdi GmQ m| G wQjv GgbB GKwU mgq, hLb wmv bqvUv Lye Riix, wK wKQzZB Kvbv evcvi wmv cuQyZ cviwQj bv m| Gevi Avcywb wMq cvq Rvi Ki wbq bv Gj nqZv divB nZv bv| `k wdi RvqMv Zwi Ki wbZ Lye ewk mgq jvMwb Zvi| evS m, GmeB c~ecwiKwZ| hw`I KD RvbZv bv Ab Kx wmv be, GgbwK m wbRI RvbZv bv, Zey me wKQy hb cZ KivB wQjv| bBj Q-gvmi ga PvKwievKwi, weq Ki ixwZgZv msmvix nIqv me nZv bv| mewKQyB GLb wVKVvK, GKwU nvwc Gws wdji gZv cvq Zey, m Ui cvq, Kv_vq hb wekvj GKUv duvK iq MQ| mB duvK m cvqB GKwU cgvY mvBRi RjRj ckevaK wP `LZ cvq| Zvi `bw`b RxebhvcbK wbqZ Zvov Ki di IB wP|
AvMK 11

Ab Ab me msmvix gvbyli gZvB mKvj Awdm hvq, mvq di| Zvici _K em _vK evmvqB| evBi cvq hZB Pvq bv, kvv Lye Rvi Kij KLbv evb`i evmvq, KLbv kvv`i evmvq wMq KqK Nv KvwUq Avm| kvv`i evmvq Mj `v`vi m em M Ki, Avevi evb`i KvQ MjI mB cyibv w`bi M| hb `yUv RvqMvqB m hvq Kej dj Avmv Rxebi M KiZ ev bZ| kvv Aek Kvbv evcviB ZvK Lye GKUv Rvi Ki bv| jvKUvK m evSvi Pv KiQ| Kb m Kv_vI hZ Pvq bv, Kb Ggb `xbnxbi gZv GKv GKv em _K Mxi nq Kej Kx hb fve! AbK m `y-GKevi G welq wRm KiQ Zzwg Kv_vI NyiZ-UziZ hvI bv Kb? Di Ab ejQ Kv_vq hvev? wKQy wPwb bv Zv! ZvB ej Ggb NI em _vKe? evBi bv Mj wPbe wKfve? Avi ZvQvov Avwg Zv AvwQB, AvwgB bv nq mewKQy wPwbq `e| Zzwg Lye ewk nj KqKwU gv RvqMv wPwbq `e| wK GB kni Zv Avgvi cwiwPZ Kvbv gvbylI bB, Zvi wK eev Kie? Av Av m-meI ne| ne bv kvv, GB eqm bZzb Ki Avi wKQy nIqvi bB| GB K_v b kvv Lye nmQ wK Ggb eqm nqQ Zvgvi h eyov gvbyli gZv ejQv, GB eqm Avi wKQy ne bv| GLvb Zvgvi eqwm Qjiv BDwbfvwmwU _K ewiq PvKwii Rb Pv Ki Avi AvvevwR Ki biK jRvi Ki| Rxeb wVK gZv cekB Ki bv| Avi Zzwg ejQv Avi wKQy nevi bB! mgmvUv Zv GLvbB kvvK hv Kvbvw`b evSvbv hve bv| GB kni Avwg wPwb bv, GLvb Avgvi Kvbv ez bB, AvZxq-^Rb Qvov cwiwPZ Kvbv gvbylI bB| GLvb Avwg _KwQ Lye mvgvb mgq gv wZb eQi AZ Kvbv mK Mo IVvi Rb G mgq mvgvbB, Zvi AvM lvjv eQi D`vmcyi, ci cvq GKhyM AvgwiKvq| XvKvi Pq wbDBqKK Avwg fvjv Ki wPwb| GB kni Avgvi Kvbv kKo bB| h eqm cKZc AcwiwPZ gvbyli m mK Mo IV, ezZ Mo IV mB ezZ GZB Mfxi h KLbv KLbv Zv ii mKi PqI iZc~Y nq IV Avgvi mB eqm, mB mvbvjx heb KUQ we`k-wefuyBq, wfb fvlvi wfb msw Zi gvbyl`i KvQ, hv`iK
AvMK
17

KLbv Avcb ej fveZ cvwiwb Avwg| bvbviKg AwiZvq Dv mgq KvwUqwQ, Kv_vI kv nq `y-` ewmwb, wbgvY Kwiwb Kvbv bZzb mK, Kv_vI Mvwowb kKo h, Kvbv wcQyUvb _vKe AvgwiKvq ZvB Avgvi wKQzB co bB| bv _vK, ZvZ Avgvi Avdmvm bB, wK G kniI h Avgvi wKQy bB! bv ez-eve, bv cwiwPZRb, fvKvx ^Rb ev myRb, bv Kvbv wZ| Avwg Kvbvw`b Kviv m ewmwb GB knii Kvbv iviuvq, nuU eovBwb Kvbv Zibxi nvZ ai Kvbv cvK ev ivvq, gjvq ev Drme| GLvbKvi KvbvwKQyB hb Avgvi bq, GLvbI Avwg GK fqven ewnivMZ, Avgvi mewKQyB Kej Ici-Quvqv| GZw`b ci GLvb wdiwQ Avwg, wdi `wL wKQyB Avgvi bq| Avi wdiwQ Ggb GKUv eqm hLb bZzb Ki Avi Kvbv mK wbgvY Kiv me bq| GB K_v b kvv Lye nmQ, ejQ GLvb GB eqm Qjiv RxebB cek Ki bv, mkbRUi avvq cvk Ki eivZ eivZB AbK eqm nq hvq, Zvici iqQ PvKwii AwbqZv, wKsev PvKwi cjI w_Zz nq emZ emZ Aviv `y-wZb eQi Zv jMB hvq, dj Avv w`q biK jRvi Kiv Qvov Zv`i Zgb Kvbv KvRB _vK bv| IUvB nQ welq Zv`i Avv `qvi mx AvQ, ez-eve AvQ, bvbviKg mK AvQ h mK Mo DVQ AbKw`b ai, GKUz GKUz Ki| Mo DVQ ciii gbi wgji Rb, evSvcovi gvag, Dvb-cZbi gvag, AbKUvB ^v_nxbfve, wKsev ^v_ _vKjI mUv Zgb gyL bq| GB Mo IVvi cwqvi gaB AvQ AbK gayi wZ, AbK nvwm-Avb`-e`bv, AbK ZvM I fvjvevmv| Avvq emj nqZv GKwU ki DPviYB Zv`iK mB me wZgq w`b wdwiq wbq hvq| Avv gvbB Zv Awbw` welq wbq AMvQvjvfve Nvi ci Nv KvwUq `qv| Avgvi mB myhvM Kv_vq, Zgb gvbylB ev Kv_vq? Avwg wekvm Kwi, GKUv wbw` eqmi ci gvbyl ^v_nxbfve Avi bZzb Kvbv mK MoZ cvi bv| GB eqmi cii mKjv eov ewk cviwiK ^v_mswk, elwqK, cdkbvj| 30 eQi nQ mB aibi eqm| Avgvi gb nq, GB eqmUv gvbyli Rxeb GK eov aibi UvbwRkb wcwiqW| Zvi AvMB m mg mK Mo dj, Avi ci bvbv NUbv-`yNUbvq Zvi Kvbv KvbvwU fO hvq| 30 eQii cii eqmwU KejB mK fvOvi, Movi bq| Avwg wVK GB eqmB wdi GmwQ GB APbv-AbvZxq kni| kvv h AvgvK evBi eivevi K_v ej, I evS bv, ewiq Avwg hvevUv Kv_vq?
AvMK 11

Zvi Pq eo K_v, h kYxZ, mgvRi h i GLb Abi IVvemv mLvb Avi hvB _vK, cvY LyuR cvIqv `yi| m GKUv gvwbvkbvj Kvvwbi wmwbqi gvbRgUi Ask| GB eqm G `ki Qjiv mvaviYZ GZ Ici IV bv| wK Zvi evcviUv wfb| Zvi Mjvq Svjvbv AvQ AvgwiKvb wWwM hvi cwZ G `ki KZvkYxi ew`i AvQ GK AhwK-A-AyZ gvn I kv; AvQ AbMj Bswjk K_v ejvi cvq `yjf gZv hv gvwbvkbvj GgbwK bvkbvj KvvwbjvZ PvKwi cvIqvi cavb hvMZv wnme weewPZ nq; GiciI AvQ mwPe-eemvqx-wekwe`vjqi wkK `yjvfvBMY; Ges kici AbK nvgivPvgiv AvZxq-^Rb| Zv, m Gm coQ Ggb GKUv RvqMvq hLvb meB e hvwK| myUW-eyUW GwwKDwUf nq mUvb MvwoZ IVv, DV wcV mvRv Ki em _vKv, bgI mUvb nuU Me hvI| MeI mB cKwZi SKgK Awdmig, w_-dvi-dvBf vi nvUj, wb`bc mymwZ Wwqsig| Me wMqI Pqvi em _vKv mUvb nq| Lei`vi wijvW nqv bv, Zzwg wijv KiZ cviv Kej cvwUZ Zv-I GB GZUzKz; `yzwg KiZ cviv Zv-I GB GKUzLvwb; mLvb wbeva me jvKRbi yj iwmKZvq nvwm bv cjI nvmv, Ges f`Zvi nvwm Szwjq ivLZ ivLZ Pvqvj e_v Ki dvjv| Rxeb wK Kvbv gkKivi welq, h nvwm-Vvv-`yzwgdvRjvwgZ gZ _vKe? Dd! Abi nuvd ai hvq| gvS gvS Zvi RvbZ BQ Ki GB jvKjv wK x-mnevm Ki bv? ev_ig wMq wK cvKwZK wqvKg mvi bv? bvwK iveUi gZv mKj cvKwZK Pvwn`v _K Kvbv AjwKK Dcvq Zviv gyw jvf KiQ? gvS gvS `yzwg wPv gv_vq Pvc Abi G`i cvbxqZ wekl aibi KweivwR UvejU Qo w`j Kgb nq, hb m m Zviv ev_ig `ovZ eva nq! GwwKDwUf Wm ev_igi Dk `ovj, ev ev_ig wMq mjv Lyj-Uzj emZ nj Kx iKg `y`kvq coZ ne G`iK fe Ab GKv GKvB nmQ KZevi! Abi GB aibi cwiek wVK mn nq bv, wK m wbicvq, NUbvg m GLb GB kYxiB AMZ| Zvi eis fvjv jvM wfoi gvbyl| gvS gvS Awdm _K ewiq, KvU-UvB-wedKm WvBfvii nvZ w`qZzwg evmvq hvI, Zvgvi AvcvK ejv Avgvi wdiZ GKUz `wi ne ej ewiq co| Kvbv mywbw` Me Aek _vKbv| KLbv nuvUZ nuvUZ Kvbv evRvi, KLbv dzUcvZi meivMniv Ilya weZvi Rgck eZvi mvgb, KLbv Kvbv jvKvj evc Gm `uvovq| evmcjvZB m gRv cvq ewk| mLvb
AvMK
18

gvbyli Mv`vMvw` wfo, Zzjbvq AcZzj evm, ovwo jMB AvQ| m-I RviRvi Ki Kvbv GKwU evm DV co, hb KZ cqvRb, KZ Zvov Zvi! DV Mv`vMvw` gvbyli wfo PzcPvc `uvwoq _vK, Nvg wfR Zv`i n-njvwPrKvi-PuPvgwP bZ _vK| evm Kv_vI GK wgwbU `uvovj `uvoveviB K_v, Zey hvxiv WvBfvii Pvw Dvi Ki| WvBfviI Zgwb, Avh wbweKvi, hb MvjvMvwjUv ZvK bq, Ab KvDK Kiv nQ, hvK m wbRI MvjvMvwjB KiZ Pvq! Avevi fvov wbavwiZ nIqv mI KD KD AvU Avbv cqmvi Rb Kvii m Zzgj SMov jvMvq| Avi Gmei wKQyB bv nj hvxiv ivRbwZK Avjvc-AvjvPbv i Ki `q wbR`i ga, hb `k I RvwZ wbq Zviv KZB bv `ywvM! Zviv mevB wgj miKvii evivUv evwRq ZivUv Szwjq `q| Abi c_g c_g gb nZv jvKRb h GZ w nq AvQ miKvii Ici, Zvnj Gzwb GB miKvii cZb NUQ bv Kb? ci m fe `LQ, GB jvKjvi vf-va cwZgyn~Z cwiewZZ nQ| GB miKvii Ici LcQ Zv GB Kvii Ici, cigyn~ZB nqZv mnhvxi avv Lq Zvi Ici| wZvi cm GZ `Z cwiewZZ nj cwiYvg wKQyB `uvovq bv, Kvbv mymswVZ ev mywbw` icI cvq bv| bv cvK, Zey, Abi gb nq GB jvKjvi ga cvY AvQ| myfve euP _vKvi c_ hv wKQy evav-wecw mjvK `~i KiZ bv cvijI, Zvi wei Zxe vfi cKvk AvQ| wbn, wbivm bq mewKQy webvck gb bqvi gZv gvbyl bq Zviv| Ab evmvq wdi kvvi KvQ M duv` Rvbv, AvRK Avwg evm DVwQjvg| evm? Mvwo cvwVq w`q evm! Kb? Gi Kvbv gvb nq! nqQ wK eySQ Gevi m jvKjv vf I vai M ej| kvv h_vixwZ gb w`q kvb| GKevi b-Uzb GKUv AyZ ge KiwQj I| ejwQj GB jvKjv ivvNvU GZ w nq _vK Kb Rvbv? KviY, Zviv Rxebi cwZ c` e_| Rxebi e_Zvi m ivvNvU iM _vKvi Kx mK eySZ bv ci kvvK wRm Kivq I ejwQjZvivI nqZv ZvgviB gZv Awdm _K wdiQ, wK Zvgv`i Aevbi ga iqQ wei dvivK| Awdm Zzwg AvQv agK `qvi Aevb Avi Iiv AvQ agK LvIqvi Aevb| nqZv mvivw`bfiB Zviv Zv`i em`i agK LqQ| evmvq h wdiQ, mLvbI wK kvw AvQ? wdi nqZv eDqi gyL SvgUv LZ ne, KviY evmvq evRvi bB,
AvMK 11

Qjgq`i G gvmi wKsev MZ `y-gvmi zji eZb `qv nqwb, evwofvovi Rb evwoIqvjv Gm nw^Zw^ Ki MQ ev gvoi `vKvb evwK kva Kiv nqwb GB iKg nvRviI mgmv mLvb Zvi Rb Acv KiQ| jvKwUi mvgb KejB Anxb mgmv| Kv_vI kvw bB, mnvbyf~wZ bB| ZviI Zv `ytL AvQ, e_Zvi Mvwb AvQ, AgZvi hYv AvQ, A_P mjv cKvki RvqMv bB| Zvi K_v kvbvi gZv Kvbv gvbyl bB, Zvi K kqvi Kivi gZv Kvbv mx bB| Gjv ZvB m cKvk KiQ ivvNvU, evRvi, evm, Mwji gvo RUjvq| ivvNvU cKUgvi ev wQbZvBKvix ev evmvevwoZ Pvi-WvKvZ aiv coj Lei cq GK`j jvK QyU Gm cej Drmvn I weg AcivaxK gviZ _vK, gviZB _vK| Zvi wbRi wRwbm Pzwi ev wQbZvB nqwb, Zey wnsmfve gviZ gviZ nqZv jvKwUK Zviv giB dj| GB h wnZvwnZ vb k~b nq GiKg GKUv KvR Zviv Ki, Zvi KviY wK? ew^v_ P~ov AvNvZ bv jvMj Zv Kviv c Ggb wnsm nq IVv me bq! Zvnj Kb Zviv GKRb AcwiwPZ jvKK wcwUqB gi djZ cvi? Gi KviY wK Rvbv? Gi KviY nQ H jvKMyjvi ga cywfyZ vf| Zviv wbwZfveB e_ Ges AenwjZ gvbyl, z gvbyl, Kv_vI iZ bv cvIqv gvbyl, dj myhvM cvIqv gv Zviv vfi cKvk NUvq, wbR`iK iZc~Y Ki ZzjZ Pvq| kvvi GB evLvq Ab Lye PgwKZ nqwQj| Gfve m fe `Lwb Zv! kvvi cwZ Zvi kv eo wMqwQj| Ab wRm KiwQj wKfve eySj Zzwg? kvv ZLb `yUv NUbv ejwQj Avgvi GK gvgv AvQb GB aibi| GgwbZ Lye fvjv gvbyl, mevBK ek n Kib, wK Zvi m evBi eivbv Lye gykwKj| ewiqB wZwb mevi m gRvR Kiv Avi Kib| Avwg GKevi mvnm Ki wRm KiwQjvg Avcwb Zv evmvq Zv gRvR Kib bv, evBi eivjB Ggb Kib Kb? wZwb ejwQjb mevB memgq Avgvi m Kej gRvR Ki| Awdm emi agK, Ni Zvi gvgx, GgbwK Qjgqjv ch AvgvK agKvq| hb cw_exi mg `yiev Avi `yNUbvi Rb AvwgB `vqx| AvgviI h GKUv gb AvQ, mUv Kviv gbB _vK bv| AvgviI Zv gRvR Lvivc nZ cvi! mUv Avwg Kvi Ici Kiev? Avi KvDK cvBbv ej ivvNvU Kwi|...AviKevi Avgiv mevB wgj eovZ hvwQ ivvq `wL RUjv| jvKgyL kvbv Mjv GKRb wQbZvBKvix aiv coQ| kvbvgv KD wKQy evSvi AvMB nvwee fvB (kvvi PvPvZv fvB)
AvMK
19

`o Pj Mvjv ILvb, gbi myL jvKwUK wcwUq wdi Gjv| evmvq nvwee fvBqi Kvbv m bB, eKvi gvbyl, wbZvB iZnxb GgbwK Kviv m DuPz Mjvq K_v ch ej bv, A_P ivvq Ggb GKwU Kv NwUq Gjv| Kb? KviY mLvb Zvi cywf~Z vfi cKvk hgb NUjv, Zgwb jvKRbi KvQ nvK Zviv AcwiwPZ wbRK LvwbKUv iZc~Y Ki Zvjv Mjv| Kv_vI hvi Kvbv iZ bB, m myhvM cj mUv Qvoe Kb? GKwU RbMvxi AvPiY evLvq `y-Rb gv gvbyli AwfZvK Gfve eenvi KiZ `L AveviI gy nqwQj Ab| fyj Kiwb kvv| GKwU mgvR nvRvi iKg gvbyli evm, Zv`i cZKiB ^Z Rxeb G hgb mwZ, Zgwb G-I mwZ h, Zviv mevB gvUvgywU GKUv MociZv Rxebhvcb Ki Zv`i Rxebhvcbi e Abyl AbKUvB GKiKg| mB Rxeb cwZUv Kgb Zv evSv hvq IB mgvRwUK wPbj| gvbyli m wgkj RxebK AbKLvwbB Pbv hvq| Ab wgkZI Pvq| kvv hv Rvb, evS, m-I Zv RvbZ-eySZ Pvq| A_P cvi bv| GLvbKvi jvKjvK m wVK eyS DVZ cviQ bv| KD Kvbv AvjvPbv i Kij m wbzcB _vK| m Zv Pb bv G`i| AvRKvj gvS gvS eov `yfvebv nq GB GZw`b ci D`vmcyiI wK Zvi APbv nq MQ ? bvn! m fve| AZ D`vmcyi KLbv APbv ne bv Zvi| KviY m hLb Mvgi K_v ej ZLb Zvi eYbvq wK hb _vK! wK _vK? kvvi Zv gb nq Mvgi K_v ejZ Mj Abi PvL Kvbv GK APbv ^c g`yi y nq IV| Kvb m ^c?

wK _vK Ab wbRI wK Rvb? D`vmcyi bvgwUB Kb Zvi ga Ggb myevZvm eBq `q m evS bv| GK ARcvovMvu, mfZvi Quvqvwenxb MvMwZnvwmK Rxeb hvcbKvix gvbyl Gmei ga m Kb wbRK `LZ cvq? IB Mvg, IB Rxebi m Zvi mvgvbZg hvMvhvMI Zv bB AvR cvq 15/16 eQi! QvUejvq ZLb nvBzj cwo GKw`b gbvhvM w`q AsK KiwQjvg| AsK Kivi mgq Mvb bv bj Avgvi gb emZv bv ej evev AvgvK GKUv Qv iwWI wKb w`qwQjb ay Avgvi RbB| mB c_g eov aibi Kvbv kLi e GK`g wbRi Ki cvIqvq mwU Avi KvQ Qvov KiZvg bv| Ab mevi Rb AviKUv iwWI AvM _KB wQjv Avwg mUv QuyqI `LZvg bv| IB `yMg Aj ZLb ch iwWIB wQjv GKgv webv`b gvag| bwQ GLb mLvb wUwf-wfwmwc ch cuQ MQ, wmbgv njI bvwK nqQ; ZLb Gmei evjvBI wQjv bv, GKUv iwWI _vKv-B wQjv wekvj evcvi| wbRi gvwjKvbvaxb GKUv iwWI cq Avwg h KZUv Lywk nqwQjvg, Zv ej evSvbv hve bv| Zv, IB w`b, GKUv Mvb nwQj I Avgvi `ki gvwU Zvgvi Zi VKvB gv_v...| GB w`bwUi K_v Avgvi weklfve gb _vKvi GKUvB KviY, evev Kvbvw`b hv Kib bv mw`b ZvB Kijb covi Uwej _K AvgvK WK IVvjb, ejjb Pjv GKUz nuU Avwm| evev gVvc_ ai nuvUZ nuvUZ Rwg `LvwQjb| GUv IgyKi Rwg, GUv IgyKi, GBUv Avgv`i| Ui cvwQjvg evev hZevi GBUv Avgv`i ejQb ZZvevi Avgvi ga GKUv AbiKg Abyf~wZ nQ| Rwgi gvwjK nIqvi ga Kvbv Mie AvQ GB welqeyw ZLb wbqB Avgvi wQjv bv (eZc Avgvi ga Kvbv welqeywB wQjv bv, GLbv h Lye GKUv AvQ Zv-I ejv hvq bv|), Zey IB Avgv`i kwUi ga Ggb Kx wQjv h, Avgvi Abyf~wZ Ggb e`j hvwQj? Gici evev GKUv Rwgi Ici `uvwoq GB RwgUv Zvgvi gvqi ejj Avwg wVK eyS DVZ cvwi bv, nVvr Avgv`i kwUi e`j aygv gv-i K_v ejv njv Kb? GB GZw`b ciI Avwg wVK evLv w`Z cviev bv, ZLb Avgvi Abyf~wZUv wVK Kgb wQjv| Zvgvi gvqi Rwg kQ wbqB AgyKi Rwg, ZgyKi Rwgi gZv _vW cvmb wmyjvi bv^vii Abyf~wZ mw Kiwb, Avevi mB Abyf~wZ wVK Avgv`i Rwgi Abyf~wZi gZvI bq| (Aviv AbK ci hLb wbRi KvQB NUbvwUi evLv PqwQ Dcjw KiwQ, Avgvi Ges Avgv`i k `yUv gvbylK NUbv, cwiek, cwicvk, GgbwK ei mI mswk Ki `q|
AvMK
20

5
AvMK 11

GZw`b AvgwiKv _KwQ, Zey ILvbKvi KvbvwKQy Avgvi ev Avgv`i ej fveZ cvwiwb ejB Zv ILvbKvi Ame my`i ZzlvicvZi Pq D`vmcyii QbQvov ewcvZK kZY my`i ej gb nqQ Avgvi| wK gv kwUK Avgvi KvQ GB `yUv ki PqI AbK ewk kwkvjx ej gb nq | gv Zv GK wekl k, mvbi fZi hv Af~Zc~e Abyf~wZi Rb `q, h kwU m vbK `~iZg Mn _KI wbR gvwUZ wdwiq Avbvi kw ivL| Avi `kK gvZic Kbv Kiv nq ejB bv gvbyl mB gvqi Rb AKvZi cvY wewjq w`ZI wav Ki bv|) evevK AbKY ILvbUvq PzcPvc `uvwoq _vKZ `L Avwg wK Kiev eySZ bv ci gbvhvM w`q gvwUi w`K ZvwKq wQjvg Ges Kvbv K_v Lu y R bv cq webv KviYB wRm KiwQjvg gvwUi wK Kvbv M AvQ Avey? AvQ evev| `wL? `vLv| Avwg gvwU nvZ Zzj wbqB M kuyKZ cviZvg mUvB ^vfvweK nZv, wK Avgvi h Kx njv nuvUz Mo mR`vi fwZ gvwUZ Kcvj VKvjvg; meZ GKUz AvM kvbv MvbwUi Kvbv cfve Avgvi fZi KvR Ki _vKe, gb njv Avwg Avgvi `ki gvwUZ gv_v VwKqwQ| ZLb IB gvwU gv-i bq, Avgv`i bq Avgvi `ki gvwU nq DVjv Avgvi KvQ| (ci hLb NUbvwU fe `LwQ, Avgvi gb nqQ, IB mgq evevK IB wbw` ckwU wRm KivUv Kvbv AKviY NUbv wQjv bv| eis cKwZi h inmgq KvhKviYmg~n gvS gvS gvbylK nZevK Ki `q, gvbylK `uvo Kwiq `q Awbevh, AcZvwkZ NUbvejxi mvgb IUvI wQjv Zgb wKQy| bBj IB mvgvb ck Kb evevi AMj Lyj `e, Avi wZwb gZzi AvM ch Zuvi `kbi K_v gvMZ Avgvi gZv GKRb wKkviK wbq hZ _vKeb, Avi Avgvi fZi AvmZ _vKe eqmi Zzjbvq egvbvb Mvxh I GKvKxZ?) `k wRwbmwU wK, m m^ Kvbv aviYv wQjv bv Avgvi| f~Mvj eBZ `ki mxgviLvi eYbv co wbqB `k welqwU DcjwZ Avmvi K_v bq! eis IB gyn ~ Z c_gevii gZv Avgvi gb nqwQj GB nQ `k, hvi gvwUZ gv_v ivLjI AyZ GK wkniY RvM| Avgvi GZ fvjv jvMwQj h, mnmv gv_v ZzjZ BQ KiwQj bv; Avi AevK jvMwQj GB fe h, GB gvwUZ GZ Ljvayjv Kwi, MovMwo Kwi, KB, Kvbvw`b Zv Ggb Ki gvwUi M cvBwb!
AvMK 11

Rvwb bv KZY ci gv_v ZzjwQjvg, Zzj `wL evevi PvL fRv| evev Kuv`Qb! Avwg DV `uvovj evev AvgvK GK nvZ cuwPq nuvUZ _vKb| hb Avgvi gbi K_vwU eyS MQb Ggb fwZ ejZ _vKb GB h GZY ai GUv AgyKi, IUv AgyKi Rwg ejjvg, Avmj KvbvUvB Kvivi bq, A_ev meviUv mevi| GLb Zzwg QvU, me K_v eySe bv, wK gb iLv, D`vmcyii me gvbyl wgj GKwU gv cwievi| GB h `LQv Avj w`q RwgjvK c_K Kiv nqQ, Gjv Zzj w`jB mePq fvjv nZv| mevB wgj GKwU Rwgi gvwjK nZv, mLvb mevB wgj KvR KiZv, dmjjv mevB wgj fvM Ki wbZv| ay D`vmcyi Kb, cvki Mvg hvI, wKsev ZviI cvki Mvg Gfve mviv`ki Rwgi Avjjv Zzj w`j, mxgvbv c_K Kiv cvPxijv fO djj G`ki me gvbyl wgj GKwU gv Rwgi gvwjK nZv, mevB wgj mLvb KvR KiZv, fvMI KiZv mevB wgj| GUv wK me Avey? Rwgi gvwjKiv wK Zv gb be? I`i wZ nq hve bv? GLb nqZv me bq, wK GKmgq mvebv Zwi nqwQj| Zvgvi wK hyi K_v gb AvQ evev? bv Avey, QvU wQjvg Zv... nuv, Zzwg Zv ZLb AbK QvU| Zv, mB hyi mgq GiKg GKUv evcvi NUwQj| ZLb gvbyl mewKQyB Avgv`i ej fveZ wkLwQj| GLvbKvi AbKB Zv hy wMqwQj, KD KD knx`I nqQ, hgb D`vmcyii iZb, ivgKcyii wgivR Iiv Zv Avgv`i NiiB Qj| I`i gZv mevB h A nvZ hy KiQ Zv bq, wK mevB bvbvfve gywhvv`i mnhvwMZv KiQ| `y-GKUv NUbv kvbv| GKevi cvwKvwbiv GK`j gywhvvK avIqv Ki D`vmcyi ch wbq Gjv| AevUv GiKg h Kv_vI gywhvv`i bvgM ch cj Rvwjq cywoq w`Q, ewnmwe jvKRb gviQ, gq`i ai wbq hvQ| Wvvi mvnei evwoUv cvovjv IB mgqB| Zv, GiKg GKwU mgq Kzymi gv GKRb APbv gywhvvK wbRi evwoZ Avkq w`jv| wbR Af~ _K ZvK LvIqvjv| nZ`wi` IB eywoi gvbwmKZvUv evSv `iKvi| Avwg ci IB eywoK wRm KiwQjvg aiv coj Zv Iiv ZvgvK gi djZv, Zvgvi Nievwo Rvwjq w`Zv Gme Rbb IB APbv QjwUK Zzwg Zvgvi Ni Avkq w`Z Mj Kb? eywo Di wK ejwQj Rvbv? ejwQj nvgv`jvb AvgvMv cyjvcvbjvi gvBiv mvd KBiv dvjvBjv, GBWv wK mIb
AvMK
21

hvq? Avgvi Dcvq _vKj Avwg me QvIqvjjvi Avgvi Ni ivBLv w`Zvg| ... A_vr IB APbv QjwUI eywoi KvQ Avgv`i Qj nq DVwQj| ... wKsev mB A wfLvwi cixi gv-i K_vB aiv| IB eywoi wbRi ejZ wKQy wQjv bv| me evwoB Ii wbRi evwo, me Nii nuvwoi Lei Ii Rvbv| IK wK ivRvKviiv AbK UvKvcqmvi jvf `wLqI gywhvv`i Kvbv Lei ei KiZ cviwb| m ay ejZv Avwg Avv gvbyl evRvb, Avwg wKQy Rvwb bv| A_P gywhvv`i Gm wVKB ej w`Zv AvR ZvK K Kx wRm KiQ, Di m Kx ejQ| GB AvPiYi evLv wK? eo nq wbRKB ck Kiv| Avwg ay Avgvi evLv ejZ cvwi| IB A eywoi KvQI gywhvviv wQjv Avgv`i Qj| Avi GB Avgv`i Qjiv h Rxeb nvZ wbq hy wMqwQj, m wK ay wbRi RwgRgv-Ni-evwo ivi Rb? G`i AbKiB Zv wbR^ Kvbv RwgB wQjv bv| Zviv Zvnj Kb Rxeb evwR iL hy KiwQj? nuv, Zviv Avmj Avgv`i `kwUK euvPvZ PqwQj| ZLb GfveB, mevi KvQ, me Avgv`i aviYvwUB cavb nq DVwQj| hyi ci GB gnv-kwkvjx aviYvwU eenvi Kiv nqwb, eve Gi cqvM Kiv nqwb, eis m~Pvifve Zv asm Kiv nqQ| KviY, iv gZvq AwawZ ewiv GB aviYvK fq cZv| Zviv mevB Gi weic| Avi GUvB evsjv`ki `yfv M h, h KbmwUi Ici fi Ki `kwU ^vaxb njv, ^vaxbZvi ci _K AvR ch hvivB GB ivi gZvq MQ Zv`i mevB GB KbmwUi weci gvbyl| hw` IUvK eenvi Kiv nZv Zvnj Lye AbiKg nZv evsjv`ki Pnviv| hw` hyi ci ejv nZv, GLb _K Avgvi ej wKQy _vKe bv, me wKQy Avgv`i nq hve Zvnj GZw`b evsjv`k Kvbv Mixe gvbyl _vKZv bv| Gme welq GLbB wVK eySe bv, eo nq eySZ PvBj eySZ cvie| GLb GB GZw`b ci wbwZfve ejv me bq, evev wVK GfveB Ges e GB K_vjvB ejwQjb Kx bv, wK Avgvi fZi welqjv GfveB Mu_ AvQ| IB w`b ev ci Kvbv GKw`b wZwb Aviv ejwQjb Zzwg wbqB AbK eov gvbyl ne Avwg AZ miKgB ^c `wL ZLb GB MvgK fyj hI bv| hLvb hfve _vKv bv Kb, gvS gvS Mvg Avme| gb iLv GUvB Zvgvi kKo| wbRK, `kK, cw_exK eySZ nj AvM kKoUvK fvjvfve wPb bqv `iKvi| GLvb Avme, gvbyli m K_v eje, `Le Zvgvi AwfZv e`j hvQ, `kb e`j hvQ| hgb, hyi evcviUvB aiv| GB gvbyljv wK GLb ch Rvb bv h, hyUv wVK
AvMK 11

Kb nqwQj! ZLbv RvbZv bv, GLbv Rvb bv| Zviv ay eySZ ciwQj G nQ Zv`i wbR`i hy| AvR _K 20 eQi ciI Gm Zzwg hw` G Mvgi GKRb cZ`kx jvKK hyi K_v wRm Ki Zviv nqZv ZLbv hyi KviYwUi K_v ejZ cvie bv, wK Ggbfve wZPviY Kie hb MZKvj gv NUbvUv NU MQ| hyi KviY Zviv Rvb bv, wK hyw`bi me wZ Zviv Zv`i gb Mu_ iLQ| eo nj nqZv `Le knii gvbyli KvQ gywhy nQ iwWI-Uwjwfkbi wekl Abyvb, msev`ci wekl Bmy, ivcavbi wekl evYx, Avi ivRbxwZex``i dvq`v jvUvi welqe| ZLb hw` Zvgvi g~j welqwU eySZ BQ Ki, Zvnj Mvg Gmv| gywhy Avi gywhvviv hw` Kv_vI bv-I _vK G`ki mvaviY gvbyli eyKi ga cig ggZvq jvwjZ ne wPiUvKvj| Gme K_v fe nqZv Zzwg ci AevK ne h, Kb Avwg ejwQ gywhy Avi gywhvviv hw` Kv_vI bv-I _vK! evsjv`k _vKe Avi gywhy _vKe bv Zv-I wK nq? nq bv| nIqv DwPZ bq| wK cwiwwZ AvgvK GiKg K_v ejZ eva KiQ| hy nqQ gv 14 eQi, A_P GiB ga AZ cwiKwZfve hyi AwaKvsk exi`i nZv Kiv nqQ, gywhyi g~j ARbjvK asm Ki `evi mg AvqvRb cvKvcv Kiv nqQ| Kb Kiv nqQ mUv ZzwgI eySZ cvie| Avgv`i mePq eov msKUwU Kv_vq Rvbv? eov msKUwU nQ hviv GBme nZvKv Avi asmcwqvi m RwoZ, ZvivB cKvk A_ev bc_ `kUvK PvjvQ| wbR`i ^v_B Iiv ZvB gywhyi cKZ BwZnvm, ZvM, wZwZv, cZvkv, ^c Avi ARbK gyQ w`Z PvBe| cvie bv, wK b Ki `e| wK ZLb Zzwg hw` eywgvb nI, G`ki MvgM Qwoq _vKv KvwU KvwU gvbyli KvQ Avme, Zv`i K_v bjB eySZ cvie Kx wQjv Avgv`i gywhy! BwZnvmi bZzb cvV wbZ cvie Zv`i KvQ _KB| gb iLv GB Mvg iZb bvg h QjwU knx` nqQ, Zvi gv iZbi igvLv kvUwU GZw`b ciI mhZ Zzj iLQ| GUv GKUv cZxK| hyi wZ Avi hvv`i cwZ mvaviY gvbyli fvjvevmvi cZxK| hZ wKQyB NUzK bv Kb, GgbwK iv gZvq AwawZ IB weic hw` `kUvK Avevi cvwKvbI evwbq dj, Zey cw_exi Kvbv kwB iZbi igvLv kvU Ii gvqi KvQ _K Ko wbZ cvie bv| Avi hw` bq-B Zvnj Rb iLv Avgv`i P~ov cZb NU MQ, AviKwU hy ne ZLb IB hy Awbevh| mB my`i ~ Kkvi GZme KwVb KwVb K_vevZv Avwg wVK wVK eyS wbZ cvwiwb| K_vjv e GgbB wQjv Zv-I njd Ki ejv hvq bv| Ze, ci,
AvMK
22

evevK fveZ wMq, ZuvK eySZ Pq, Zuvi K_vjvK gb KiZ KiZ GfveB `uvwoq MQ| IUv wQjv i| Zvici _K gZzi AvM ch Aviv e welq wbq Avgvi m K_v ejQb evev| gb nq, bvbv welq AvgvK wkwZ Ki ZvjvUvK wZwb GKUv wgkb wnme wbqwQjb| nqZv AvgvK wbq Zuvi GKwU eov gvci ^cI wQjv, Avwg Zv LvwbKUv eywSI| Zuvi ^c mdj nqwb m Zv ejvB evj| hvK M, Zuvi K_vjv hZUzKz gb AvQ Zv _K eySZ cvwi, wewfb welq Zuvi wQjv AMva vb| ixwZgZv cwZ ew wQjb wZwb| GLb Avwg KZ eB cwo, wK Zuvi ej hvIqv K_vjvi gZv Mfxi wPvi LvivK RvMvbv welq Lye KgB cvB| evevi mgq h kl nq AvmwQj, meZ wZwb mUv eySZ ciwQjb| bBj GZ Zvovov Ki GKRb wKkviK me welqB wkv w`Z PvBeb Kb? Avwg QvUejv _KB Avgvi gvgvi evwoi jvKRbi KvQ evevi evcvi bvbviKg AwfhvM b GmwQ| evev h Zuvi AwZ Dj Kvwiqvi Avi mvgvwRK cwZcwi mvebvK cvq Vj Mvg Gm emQb, GUv wbq Zv`i vf Avi we`ci A wQjv bv| evev GB welqI Zuvi wbRi Aevb cwivi KiQb Avgvi KvQ Avwg Zvgv`i K_v feB GgbwU KiwQ| PvKwi Kij nqZv Avwg mvgvwRKfve GwjU kbxf~ _vKZvg, Zvgiv Avgvi cwiPq Me eva KiZ cviZ, wK Zvgiv hv nvivZ Zv nQ Zvgv`i kke-Kkvi| Gi g~j h Kx, Zv GKgv eqm evojB evSv hvq| gvbyli AvQB GB GKwUgv m`| hZ eqm evoZ _vK gvbyl ZZv ewk Amnvq Avi wbtm nZ _vK, Zvi m` ejZ IUv Qvov Avi wKQyB Aewk _vK bv, kl ch ILvbB m Avkq bq, ILvbB m Mo Zvj Zvi wbivc` evwoNi| Avgvi wQjv e`wji PvKwi, mUv PjZ _vKj Zvgiv GKKRb GKK RvqMvq eo nZ| QvUejvi K_v fveZ PvBj Zvgv`i PvL wbw` Kvbv `kcU fm DVZv bv; GKKRbi PvL fvmZv GKK `k, fvMvfvwM Ki bqvi gZv Kgb wKQyB _vKZv bv Zvgv`i| D`vmcyii cwZI Zvgv`i Kvbv ggZv RbvZv bv, A_P GB MvgB nQ Zvgv`i cKZ kKo, Zvgv`i c~ecyili AwZ fvjvevmvi Mvg| ZvQvov kni memgqB cvYnxb me AvQ mLvb, ay cvY bB| Zvgiv Mvg eov nqQ GUv Zvgv`i fwelZi Rb GKUv mgmv nZ cviZv, hw`
AvMK 11

Zvgiv bvMwiK KvUwm ev gvbviUv bv RvbZ| Zvgiv Zv-I wkLQ| Avgv`i evwoi cwiekUv bvMwiK, fvlvUvI| Avwg wPiKvj Zvgv`iK Mvg _vKZ ejev bv, kni Zv hZB ne| hLb hve, `Le Zvgv`i meB AvQ, wK knii gvbyli cvY bB| Avwg gvS gvS fvwe GKRb gvbyli wPvfvebv KZUv my`~icmvix nj wZwb Ggb GKUv KvR KiZ cvib| mwZB Zv, D`vmcyi bvgwUB Avgv`i Pvi fvBevbi mwwjZ m`| GKwU NUbvi aygv DjLB Avgv`iK m m kke wdwiq wbq hvq GgbwK NUbvwUi cyiv eYbviI `iKvi nq bv| Avgiv meZ cvYmb nqwQjvg| kni GmI mewKQyi m wVK wVK gvwbq wbZ ciwQjvg| zj cvk Ki Avwg Gm fwZ njvg knii bvgRv`v KjR| AvwgB meKwb| Zvi AvMB chvqg Gm MQ wZb evb| Avcvi weq nq MQ, wKQyw`b ci AvcywbiI weq njv cwZwZ mdj cv`i m cavbZ gvgv`i mwq D`vM| Gevi Zuviv Avi fyj Kibwb| Giv AZ me Qo-Qu y o Mvg Pj hve bv| IB eQiB evev gviv Mjb| gvK ai-eua XvKvq wbq Avmv njv| IBfve hLb-ZLb D`vmcyi hvIqvi Zvov Avi iBjv bv Kviv ga| KjR cvk Kivi ci mevB DVco jvMjv AvgvK evBi cvVvbvi Rb| `k Ryo ZLb Zve PjQ| Lye h mPZb wQjvg G me welq Zv bq, wK evevi Mo `qv bvbviKg Kbmckb AvgvK AvMnx Ki ZzjwQj welqjv evSvi Rb| Kb GZ niZvj-Aeiva nQ `k? GKwU Rei`LjKvix mvgwiK miKviK nUvbvi Rb hviv Av`vjb KiQ ZvivI h Lye fvjv gvbyl Zv Zv bq eis GivI gZvq _vKvi mgq gywhyi IB Avgv`i KbmwUK asm KiwQj| bZzb Ki Zviv gZvq Gj Ggb wK DcKvi ne GB `ki? wK Gme fvevfvwei mgq njv bv Avgvi| `k _vKvi cej BQvI nvi gvbjv evb`i AevnZ Pvci KvQ| ZLb eqm wQjv A, Avgvi gZvgZi Kvbv g~jB wQjv bv; AvgvK hZB njv; Avi hvIqvi GKeQii gv_vq gvK nvivjvg| Rvbvi ci evb`i Ici fqvbK ivM njv, Avi i njv Avgvi Dv Rxeb| GB GZw`b ci `k wdiwQ GLb mB ivM AbKUvB co MQ, Zey gv bB GB K_vwU wKQyZB Avwg gb wbZ cvwiwb GLbv| Ab GBme K_vevZv cvq meB ejQ kvvK| Zey kvv GLbv aiZ cviwb Abi KUv wVK Kv_vq! m ZvB cvqB ej Pjv Avgiv D`vmcyi
AvMK
23

_K Nyi Avwm| KviY, Zvi aviYv, ILvb MjB evSv hve, Ab Kb GiKg| wK Ab wKQyZB wbq hvQ bv| mivmwi bv KiQ bv, Avevi Kvbv D`vMI wbQ bv| kvv Acv Ki AvQ Ke Ab wbRB evwo hvIqvi cm Zzje|

6 evev bB, gv-I Pj MQb Kvi KvQ wdiev Avwg? GB aibi GK Zxe k~bZv Abi RxebK wech Ki ZzjwQj| evb`i Ici hnZz fqsKi ivM Avi vf RgwQj, dj gb nZv Zvi Avi KD bB GB cw_exZ|
AvMK 11

Gevi Avcywb wMq bv wbq Gj nqZv Avi Kvbvw`b AvmvB nZv bv, Rxeb KU hZ IB iKg Dvi gZv| GLb h wdi Gm w_Zz nqQ, PvKwi-evKwimsmvi KiQ, Zey gvS gvS IB iKg GKwU k~bZveva Zvi ga GLbv KvR Ki| GB k~bZv nqZv aygv gv-evevi gZzRwbZ KviYB bq, eis Aviv AbK wKQy Aviv Kvbv Mfxi KviY hb wbwnZ AvQ Gi cQb| GB kni Zvi KD bB K_vUv AvwiK A_ mwZ bq| evbiv QvovI gvgv-Lvjviv AvQb, Zv`i Qjgqiv AvQ, wK evevi cwZ weic gbvfvei Rb Ab KLbv Zv`iK AvcbRb ej gvbZ cviwb| GZ wkwZ, mPZb, vbx, I mb GKRb gvbyl nIqv mI aygv PvKwi Qo Mvg Pj hvIqvi Aciva evevK, GgbwK gvKI h wecyj cwigvY we`c I Mbv mBZ nqQ Ab Zvi mvgvbB cZ KiQ, Zey Gi Rb m gvgv-Lvjv`i gv KiZ cvi bv| Rxebhvcb wbq gnve, mvifvBf Kivi Rb nv-wcZk KiZ _vKv GBme AvZxq^Rb evevK Kvbvw`b eySZB Pvqwb| KZUv gvbwmK Rvi _vKj GKRb gvbyl Dj fwelZi Zvqvv bv Ki mewKQy Qo Pj hZ cvi Giv KLbv mUv feB `Lwb| nuv, evevi GB wmvi m GKgZ bv nIqvi AwaKvi Zv`i wbqB AvQ m-I me evcvi evevi m GKgZ cvlY Ki bv ZvB ej Ggb Acgvb Kiv Kb? h-Kvbv gvbyli AwaKvi AvQ Zvi wbRi gZv Ki Rxeb hvcb Kivi AZ mUv hw` Kviv Rb wZKi bv nq| Zv, evev hw` IB RxebKB fvjv gb Ki _vKb Zvnj ZvK `vl `qv hvq bv, Acgvb Kiv Zv `~i _vK| A_P gv-Lvjviv mUvB KiZb| G`i Rb Abi KiYv nq, evb`i Abyiva-wgbwZ mI m ZvB G`i m mK iv Ki Pjvi cqvRb eva Ki bv| Iw`K evev Zvi wcZvi GKgv mvb nIqvi KviY Abi Kvbv PvPv-dzcyI bB| _vKvi ga GK `~i mKi dzcy KZ `~ii Zv m wVK Rvb bv, A eqm weaev nq mB _K Zv`i evwoZ AvQb evwoZ hvIqv nqbv ej Zvi mI Kvbv mK bB ejjB Pj| evwK iBjv wZb evb Avi ki evwoi AvZxq^Rb| evb`i m Zvi mK fvjv AbKw`b G`i Ici iM wQjv ej GLb Zvi AbyZvc nq evS, m Qvov evb`i Avkq ejZ Avi Kvbv vb bB| wK G ay evb`i ejvq mwZ, `yjvfvB`i mI Zvi mK Lye GKUv mnR bq| AvgwiKv hvIqvi eQi PviK AvM Avcvi weq nqwQj ivkfvwi GK f`jvKi m Ab c_g _KB Zvi m mnR nZ cviwb| `vwqZkxj wZwb nceYI, QvU `yB kvjxi weq, kvjKi we`khvvq Zvi f~wgKvB
AvMK
24

wQjv cavb| GLb wZwb GKwU gYvjqi hyM mwPe eqm evovi m m Zvi Mvxh evoQ| Avcvi evmvq Mj `yjvfvBqi m mvgvbB K_v nq Zvi| Avcvi mB hv wKQy K_vevZv GgbwK fvM-fvwMjvI Lye GKUv KvQ Pvc bv, gvgvK Zviv GB c_gevii gZv `LQ, wK KvQ Pvcvi gZv fimv cvQ bv, Zv`i hv wKQy LvwZi eis kvvi mB| Avcv Zvi ^vgx-msmvi-mvb wbq fvjvB AvQ| e, myLx Mneay Abi `LZ fvjvB jvM| Avcywbi weq nqwQj m hvevi eQiLvbK AvM| `yjvfvB GLb eovgvci eemvqx GB kni eemvqx wnme cvq mevB ZvK Pb; Lye e, NUbvg nqZv gvS gvS Abi m `Lv nq, wK K_v nq mvgvbB| AvcywbI Avcvi gZv Zvi msmvi wbq gnve Ges LvwbKUv AwiI| Abi gb nq Zvi GB evbUv nqQ gv-i gZv IB iKg kvwk; Ges Rxebi QvULvUv cvwjvI Ii KvQ wekvj| Abi mePq fvjv mK eyeyi mB| GgwbZI wcVwcwV fvBevb ej eyeyi m Zvi AbiKg evSvcov, wZi fvMvfvwM| `yjvfvB wekwe`vjqi wkK, Ges ek Av`k wkKi fvefw Zvi ga me`v weivRgvb| Abi m gvSga Vvv-`yzwg KijI GgwbZ wZwb PzcPvc, Ges meZ LvwbKUv wbRbZvwcq| eyeyi weq nqQ m AvgwiKv _vKZ, divi AvM GB `yjvfvBqi m Kvbv hvMvhvMB nq IVwb wK ZvKB m mePq ewk cQ` Ki| m mePq ewk hvqI GB evmvqB Ges mUv eyeyi m Avvi jvf| evb`i evmvq m hZ cQ` Ki, hw`I Zviv wbR wbR msmvi wbq gnve, Zey GKUzLvwb mgq Pzwi Ki QvUejvq wdi hZ mevB Lye Avb` cvq| Ab Aek Ui cvq evb`i ga GK aibi m~ AmnvqZ AvQ| _vKviB K_v| gv-evev bB, GKRb wUwcKvj evOvwj gh, Nimsmvi wbq e _vKZ h cQ` Ki, gv-evev bv _vKvUv Zvi Rb GKUv eo msKU| gv-evev bB gvb Zv`i hvIqvi RvqMv bB| ^vgxi m wbqB KLbv KLbv G`i SMov-UMov nq, gb KlvKwl nq| ZLb ivM Ki `y-PviU w`b evci evwo KvwUq Avmvi myhvM G`i bB| evsjv`ki Ggb Kvb gq AvQ ^vgxi m ivM-Awfgvb Ki `y-Pviw`bi Rb evci evwo Pj Avmwb, Avi ^vgxiv eD`i ivM fvOvevi Rb ki evwo QyU Avmwb! G`i mB myhvM bB ej nqZv Zviv mg ivM-Awfgvb-gbvgvwjb PvLi Rj ayq djQ| K_vUv fvejB Abi Lvivc jvM| Avnv, Avgvi GZ wcq evb`i hvIqvi Kvbv
AvMK 11

RvqMv bB, Kvbv wbfiZv ev mvbvi Avkq bB| Avwg Zv _KI bB, fvB nqI h_v_ f~wgKv Avgvi Kvbvw`bB cvjb Kiv njv bv| wK GB GZw`b ci Gm Ab hw`I Rvb, evb`i KvQ Zvi iZ Lye ewk nVvr Ki mewKQz e`j djv hvq bv| evbiv GB Rxeb Af nq MQ, ^vgxi m ivMUvM Ki `y-Pviw`bi Rb evc bv _vKzK fvBqi evwoZ Pj Avmvi K_v nqZv Zv`i gbB co bv| GgbwK me fvBevb wgj GKm GKwU `xN mgqI KvUvbv nq bv ejZ Mj| IUv meZ Avi neviI bq gv-evev bv _vKj fvB-evb`i ga myZv KU hvq, mB myZv Avi Rvov jvM bv Kvbvw`b| Abi mgmv ZvB RwUj nq PjQ w`bw`b| GB kni ay evb`i evmvq hZB cQ` Ki m, wK nq IV bv I`i GZme eZvi ga `xN Avvi jvf wMq nvwRi nZ GKUz LvivcB jvM| G nQ dgvwjwU evS m, AvgwiKvq _vKvi dj hv ZvK evb`i mI KvUwm KiZ wkwLqQ| m Aek kvv`i evmvqI hZ ek cQ` Ki, ILvb Zvi Lye K`i, kvvi gv-evevI Lye nceY, fvjvgvbyl| wK Ab mePq DcfvM Ki kv vi `v`vi mvwba| nqZv Gi KviYwU GB h, ILvb Mj Ab Zvi `v`v Avi evevi AbK ARvbv M kvbvi myhvM cvq| `v`vK Zvi gb bB, GgbwK evevi gyLI `v`vi K_v Lye GKUv bQ ej Zvi gb co bv| evevi wbRiB nqZv AbK K_v ejvi wQjv, wKsev GgbI nZ cvi h, `v`vi m Zuvi Av`wkK wQjv ej wbR cyK wZwb Zuvi K_v ejbwb| wK kvvi `v`vi KvQ gvdvj Avng` Payix GK wekvj ewZ, Ges Abi aviYv wZwb Zuvi Av`ki mB AwaK bKU eva Kib| Aek `v`vi Av`kUv h wVK Kx wQjv Abi KvQ GLbv Zv cwivi nqwb| kvvi `v`vi KvQ hZUzKz kvbv MQ, ZvZ gb nq, wZwb wQjb GKBm eywgvb, ewZmb Ges GKivLv| hyeK eqm cwK m~ cvIqv Rwg`vwi ^Qvq ZvM Ki wZwb `~i`w I eywgvi cwiPq w`qwQjb| wZwb wbqB eySZ ciwQjb Rwg`vwii w`b kl nq AvmQ; AZGe cyivcywi kl nevi AvMB mUv Qo w`q wZwb `viY GK PgK mw Kijb, vbxq gvbyli KvQ gnr gvbyl wnme wbRK cwZwZ Kijb Ges AvgZz mB BgR wbq KvwUq w`jb| ay ZvB bq, cRv`i KvQ _K LvRbv Av`vq e Ki, wbRi RwgRgvjv AvavAvwa fvM eMv w`q wZwb ek D`viZviI cwiPq w`qwQjb| GB D`viZv wZwb Kv_vq cqwQjb wKsev ZLbKvi cvcU Ggb GKwU hyMvKvix wmv bqvi ciYv wZwb Kv_vq cqwQjb, evSv gykwKj| evsjv`ki Avi Kvbv Rwg`vi Zv wZwb hZ z`
AvMK
25

Rwg`viB nvb bv Kb ^Qvq Rwg`vwi ZvM KiwQjb ej gb nq bv, eis Zviv kl w`b ch Zv AvuKo _vKviB Pv KiQb| mvgev`x ivRbxwZi m `v`vi Kvbv msme wQjv ej Ab KLbv kvbwb, wK wZwb h ag welq GKRb eov gvci cwZ wQjb, m K_v m AbKi KvQB bQ| Ggb nZ cvi h, agxq bwZKZv Zvi ga GK aibi J`vhi Rb w`qwQj| Zvgvi m` cwZewki nK AvQ agKw_Z GB aibi `kb nqZv ZvK cfvweZ Ki _vKe| GmeB Abi Abygvb, cKZ welqwU Kx mUv wbwZ Ki ejv hvq bv| hgb `kfvMi ck AL fviZi c Ges cvwKvb Kbmi wec Zuvi Aevb MnYi KviYwU wVK eyS IVv hvq bv| mg c~eevsjv hLb dzum DVQ cvwKvb Av`vjb, ZLb wZwb Bmjvgwcq gvbyl nqI agwfwK RvwZf`i weivwaZv KiQb welqwU Lye AyZ| iv fO Mj RbMYi kw I mvnm Kg hvq Z wKsev `kb wnme GUv ek PgKc`, m`n bB| hLvb iviB AwZ bB, mLvb fviZelK GKwU iv wnme weePbv Ki, Zvi fvObi wec `uvwoq, GKB ivKvVvgvi ga wn`ygymjgvbi gaKvi -wef`, fyj evSveywS I elgi Aemvb Kvgbv Kiv AZ ZLbKvi cvcU Zuvi cMwZkxj AjvKi cwiPq `q| wK IB `kb h ZvK A Ki ZzjwQj, gywhyi mgq bxwZMZfve cvwKvbi cvej^bB Zvi cgvY `q| cwiwwZ bv eyS wbR `kbi cwZ Abo-A AbyivMi Rb cMwZkxj wPvi aviKivI h KLbv KLbv wZKi nq IVb GUv ZviI cgvY| kvvi `v`vi KvQ GB NUbv bZ wMq kvvi gZvB AbI GKB ck KiwQj h, wZwb ivRvKvi wQjb Kx bv| m-I h_vixwZ GKB Di cqQ| wK m `v`vi bvbviKg `y`v KgKvi weeiY bI evcviUv gb wbZ cviwb| GZ huvi cvwZ wZwb wK evSbwb, cvwKvb bvgK ivwU GKwU Aeve KvVvgvi Ici `uvwoq AvQ? ay fMwjK mgmvB bq, h `ki `y-Uv Aji gvbyli ga mvswZK ecixZ GZ cKU I evcK m iv h wUKe bv, GUv Kb wZwb eySjb bv? Avi GLvbB Abi g~j wRvmv| AL fviZelK h iv wnme cZ PqwQjb wZwb, Zvi KviYwU wK? wZwb wK fviZeli mvswZK HwZni K_v fewQjb? gb Zv nq bv| m wZwb cvwKvbi `yB Aski mvswZK ecixZi welqwU Abyfe KiZ cviZb| Zvnj fviZeli Kvb wRwbmwU ZuvK GK GKwU AL iv wnme Kbv KiZ Dy KiwQj? gykwKj njv, wZwb Kvbv welqB wKQy wjL hvbwb GZ cvwZi Kvbv cgvY ZvB Avi bB dj Gme welq Zuvi wbR^ wPvfvebvUv
AvMK 11

wVK Rvbv hvQ bv| kvvi `v`vi fvl Ges gyZvgvLv weeiY b Gme cki Di wgjQ bv| Aek GUv QvovI Ab Zvi c~ecyil`i AbKwKQyB eySZ cviQ bv| hgb, Zvi cwcZvgn Mvjvg Avng` Payix Kb wewUk miKvi c` Lvb evnv`yi Dcvwa wbZ A^xKwZ RvwbqwQjb, evSv hvq bv| KbB-ev ZuvK GB Dcvwa `qv nqwQj Zv-I bq| GB Dcvwa `qv I cZvLvb Kiv GB `yUv NUbvi cQb wbqB Kvbv MvD wQjv! Dcvwa `qvi KviYwU bv nq wewUk`i evcvi, wK wZwb mUv cZvLvb Kijb Kb? GKw`K I`i AbyMn cv Rwg`vwi KiQb, (I`i AbyMn Qvov KD KLbv Rwg`vi nZ ciQ Ggb Zv kvbv hvq bv!) Abw`K Zv`iB `qv Dcvwa wbZ A^xKwZ RvbvQb Gi gvbUv wK? ZvQvov, Zv`i bvgi cQb Payix DcvwaUvI Zv wewUk`iB `qv, mUv Zv KD dj `qwb! Ab Zvi me c~ecyil m^ Rvb bv, Rvbvi DcvqI bB KviY G evcvi Kv_vI Kvbv wjwLZ weeiY bB| gvbyli gyL gyL Qwoq cov GZme MMv_vi KZUzKz mZ Avi KZUzKz wbQK MvjM K Rvb! Zvi aviYv Zuv`i ga PgK `qvi GKUv ceYZv wQjv| Mvjvg Avng` Payix Lvb evnv`yi Dcvwa MnY bv Ki, gvdvj Avng` Payix Rwg`vwi ZvM Ki, Ges Aekl Zvi evev nvq`vi Avng` Payix miKvix KvWvi mvwfmi PvKwi Qo w`q wbwZfveB KvQi gvbyl`iK foK w`Z ciwQjb Ges AvgZz Zuv`i Pbv gvbyl`i AvjvPbvi K`we`yZ _vKZ mg nqwQjb| Zv`i Pvicvk Mo DVwQj inmi eovRvj| mB Zzjbvq Avwg wbZvB Qvcvlv mvaviY gvbyl Ab fvejv miKg Kvbv PgK `qvi gZvB Avgvi bB| Aek Zuv`i Gme KgKv aygv PgK `qvi ceYZv _K DyZ GiKg fvebvUv Lye bwZevPK nq hvq| Zuviv Zuv`i gZv Ki wKQy GKUv ZvM KiwQjb mB ZvM ZLbKvi cvcU Lye mvgvb wQjv bv Ges G _K Zuviv wekl Kvbv myweavI MnY Kibwb Kviv KvQ _K GB K_vwU gb ivLv `iKvi| `v`v wQjb Zvi gZev`i c AwePj I Avcvmnxb| cvwKvb bvgK ivwU gb wbZ cvibwb ej Awfgvbfi wbRK mwiq wbqwQjb hveZxq ivRbwZK KgKv _K Zey mvZ Mv fvmvbwb| (hw`I AL fviZ wZwb K`xq chvqi bZv wQjb Ges Zvi cwiwPwZ wQjv `kRvov, mUvK wZwb eenvi Ki AbK wKQyB KiZ cviZb|) Avevi IB GKB `kbi cwZ A AvbyMZi dj gywhyi mgq mB cvwKvbi cvej^b KiI wZwb wiw
AvMK
26

c_B wMqwQjb| Zuvi fvM fvjv h, hyi ci wZwb ewkw`b euvPbwb| euP _vKj mgmv nZv evsjv`k bvgK ivwUKI wZwb wbRi `k ej fveZ cviZb bv| f`jvKi Rb Abi K njv, LvwbKUv KiYvI eva Kijv iv wbq hvi GZ fvebv, Zvi wbRi Kvbv iv wQjv bv! Zuvi mvai AL fviZeli eveZv Zv mB Pwjki `kKB kl nq wMqwQj, Zvici evwK RxebUv wZwb h `k `yUvZ KvUvjb Zvi KvbvwUKB wZwb wbRi gb KiZ cvijb bv Gi Pq KiY evcvi Avi wK nZ cvi? Avgvi Kvbv `k bB GB Abyfw~ Zi Pq ggvwK Abyfw~ Z Avi nq bv wekl Ki `k evcviwU hvi KvQ Lye iZc~Y| f`jvK wQjb Lvc-bv-LvIqv gvbyl, nqZv GRbB RbMYi AveM I AvKvvi Zvqvv bv Ki wZwb wbRi gZ AwePj _KQb, RbMY hLb hw`K MQ wZwb MQb Zv Dvw`K| Gi djvdj njv GB h, AvgZz wZwb iBjb wbR `k cievmx nq| wbtm, GKivLv, Avcvmnxb wK P~ov wePvi GK UvwRK Pwi wnmeB gviv Mjb wZwb| Gi Kvbv A_ nq bv| cwieZbkxj mgqi m Lvc LvBq PjZ bv cvivUv GK aibi AhvMZv| Abi gb nq `v`v Kvbvw`b RbMYi BgvkbUv eySZB cvibwb, wKsev eySjI mUvK fyj ej gb KiQb| dj GB mvaviY mZUvI wZwb fyj wMqwQjb h, evcK GKwU RbMvx hw` Kvbv fyj Bgvkb wbqI gywhyi gZv GKwU hyMvKvix wekvj NUbvq Rwoq co Zvnj mB fyjUvI my`i I kvkZ nq IV| mvZ KvwU gvbyli AveMi Pq Kvbv `kb ev ZB eov nq DVZ cvi bv| `v`v hw` memgq RbMYi m _vKZb, Zvnj wK nZv Ab Zv Rvb bv wK Zuvi RxebUv Ggb KiY e_Zvq chewmZ nZv bv| Ab AvRKvj Zvi c~ecyil`i Pwi evSvi Pv KiQ| AvgwiKvq _vKvi mgq m welqjv wbq wPvB Kiwb| `k wdi Zvi ga ZB cwieZb GmQ, Avi G kvvi `v`viI GKUv fywgKv AvQ| wekl Ki wZwb hgb gb Kib GB gvbylMyjv Zuv`i mgqi kZg gvbyl wQjb, PvBj Zuviv AbKwKQy KiZ cviZb; evcviwU ZvK fveZ wkwLqQ| PvBj AbK wKQy KiZ cviZb, Zv Pvbwb Kb G-I Zvi KvQ GK RwUj ck| Ze wK `v`v ev Zuvi evevi ga LvwbKUv eivM wQjv elwqK cvwjvK wK Zuviv iZnxb gb KiZb? GB GKB ck evevi m^I Kiv Pj| evev h Zuvi mvbRbK ckv, Dj Kvwiqvi I my`i fwelZi mvebv Qo Mvg
AvMK 11

Pj wMqwQjb Zvi cQb wK LvwbKUv eivM wQjv hv wZwb cqwQjb ZuviB wcZv I wcZvgni KvQ _K?

AvMK

27

7 Qjgq`i kKo Pbvevi Rb me Qo Mvg Pj hvIqv evevi `qv GB ZwU Abi KvQ B`vwbs Lye GKUv wekvmhvM ej gb nQ bv| GUv nqZv GKwU KviY wQjv, wK Zv cavb bq, AZ Abi miKgB aviYv| Zvi gb nq, Gme K_v ej wZwb mevi m GKUv Avovj Zwi KiwQjb, Avmj KviY AbwKQy wK mB AbwKQyUv wK, m Zv eyS DVZ cviQ bv| GgbI Zv nZ cvi h, mB KviYwU LyeB mvaviY, hgb wZwb Zuvi Kg Lye eov aibi Kvbv mgmvq cowQjb, mUv KvwUq DVZ bv ci wiRvBb Ki Mvg Pj wMqwQjb Ges evcviwU mevi KvQ Pc wMqwQjb! GUv Aek Lye bwZevPK fvebv nq hvq, wK mvebv _K GUvK ev` `qv hvq bv| wK evevi Kvbv AvPiYB m GB fvebvi mg_b cjv bv| wZxq AviKwU KviYKB Zvi KvQ h_v_ ej gb njv| mUv nQ meZ GB bvMwiK Rxeb Ges aiveuvav wbqge PvKwi Zuvi fvjv jvMwb| h D`vmcyii AvjvnvIqv-Rj I gvwUZ wZwb eo DVwQjb, mewKQzi Pq Zvi UvbUvB Zuvi KvQ eov nq DVwQj; Avi G Zuvi elwqK D`vmxbZv I eivM ZuvK mnvqZv KiwQj| wZwb wdi wMqwQjb Zuvi wZi KvQ, kke-Kkvii KvQ| Mvgi mnR-mij gvbyl`i wZwb fvjvevmZb, wZwb wdiwQjb Zuvi mB ^Rb`i KvQ| ZvQvov, KvbvwKQy ZvM Kivi gZv gvbwmK kw wZwb nqZv DivwaKvi m~B cq _vKeb, dj wcZv I wcZvgni gZvB wZwbI Aejxjvq ZvM KiZ ciwQjb miKvix KgKZvi mvbRbK c`wU GBfve Ab Zvi evev m^ BwZevPK aviYvq wdi Gjv| wK ZviciI Zuvi GB wmv Ges mvb`i kKo Pbvevi Z `uvo KivbvUvK m Lye GKUv hywhy ej gb wbZ cvijv bv| KvbvwKQy Qo `evi AwaKvi mKjiB AvQ| ay ZvB bq, GKRb gvbyl Kxfve Rxebhvcb Kie m wmv bevi AwaKviI m~Yfve ZviB| G Ab Kviv nc Kvg bq| Ab gb Ki GB welqwU GKRb gvbyli wbR^ cQ`i Ici Qo `qv DwPZ, hw`I m Rvb G`k evcviwUK Gfve `Lv nq bv, mg gv-evevB Zv`i mvb`i RxebcwZ evZj w`Z Pvb| nuv, hw` KD wmvnxbZvq fvM, hw` KD BZZ Ki h, Kvb RxcbcwZwU Zvi eQ bqv DwPZ Zvnj ZvK civgk `qv hZ cvi; wK KD hw` mywbw` Kvbv wmv wbqB _vK, Zvnj Zvi Ici wfb wKQz Pvwcq `qvi Pv Kiv DwPZ bq| GgbwK GKRb gvbyl hw`
AvMK 11

wmv bq h, m wbQK BqvwK Ki RxebUv KvwUq `e, wKsev c_NvU Nyiwdi RxebUvK DcfvM Kie, wKsev wKQyB bv Ki md PzcPvc em _vKe ZvK mB myhvM `qv DwPZ| GKRb gvbyl Zv hvcbi Rb GKwUgv RxebB cvq, mUvK BQgZv KvUvbvi myhvM m Kb cve bv? Rxeb m^ Abi GB `wfw Zvi evevi wmvi cB hvq; wK IB h Z, Mvg wbq mvb`i kKo PbvZ ne GUvi mc Zv wKQz `uvo Kivbv hvQ bv| kKo Pbvi Rb wK D`vmcyiB GKgv vb? cyiv `kB wK Zv`i kKo nZ cviZv bv? evev Kb Ggb wPv KiwQjb evSv hvq bv| wZwb wK GKeviI fvebwb h, Zuvi mvbiv hw` D`vmcyiKB GKgv kKo wnme Pb, Zvnj GB `kiB Abvb vb Zviv wbR`iK wbR`k cievmx ej fveZ cvi, hgb GLb Abi miKg Abyf~wZ nq! GB kniK Zvi APbv Avi AbvZxq gb nq; gb nq Zvi mewKQy co AvQ D`vmcyi D`vmcyi Qvov Avi KvbvwKQyB Zvi Avcb bq! A_P evev Zuvi kl Rxeb AbK h `kwU Pbvevi cvYv Pv KiwQjb GB kni Zv mB `kiB Ask! `kwUK eySZ nj ay D`vmcyiK wPbjB Pje, GB kniK Pbvi Kvbv `iKvi bB welqwU wK GiKg? evev hw` GgbwU fe _vKb Zvnj, m`n bB, wZwb fyj KiwQjb| GKwU gv Mvg ev GKwU gv kniK w`q mgM `kK wKQyZB evSv hve bv| mB Mvg ev kni nqZv `kK Pbv-Rvbvi AbK Dcv`vb Qwoq _vK wK Zv KLbvB m~Y bq! m~Y h bq mUv Zv AninB evSv hvQ| D`vmcyii gvbyli ^fve-Pwi-AvPvi-AvPiY GB knii gvbyl`i ^fvePwii m GKeviB gj bv| D`vmcyii cvk w`q eq hvIqv `y-`yUv b`x IB Aji gvbyli ga Mfxi cfve djQ| b`x-nvIi-wej msjM gvbyljv ^fveZB D`vmxb nq, welq-eywnxb nq| G K_vi mg_b gj evDj`i Rxeb `Lj| Kvbv Aj ev cvnvwo GjvKvq KLbv evDj Rb bq bv| mvaviYZ Giv Rb bq cvwbcavb Aj| Gi KviYwU wK? b`x wK gvbylK Ni-Qvov nevi Bb hvMvq? welq-eywnxb Ki Zvj? gigx wPvq Dy Ki? wKsev aiv hvK mgy` DcK~jeZx gvbyl`i K_vB| G`i Pwii m wK Ab Aji gvbyli Pwii Kvbv wgj AvQ? hv`iK Anin cKwZi m hy Kivi Rb cZ _vKZ nq, Zv`i m wK kv-mgvwnZ-D`vmxb cKwZi ga evm Kiv D`vmcyii Awaevmx`i Zzjbv nq? DcKji h jvKwU RjvQvm ev N~wYSo Zvi GKvwaK ^Rb nvwiq wbR euP AvQ, Zvi KvQ euP _vKvUvB Zv GKUv wgivKj! m h euP AvQ Gi Pq eov Kvbv weq Zvi KvQ
AvMK
28

Avi bB, Ab Kvbv weqB ZvB ZvK AZvUv AvjvwoZ Kie bv| AvKwKfve GKB m m AbK ^Rb nvwiqQ Ab Kvbv gZzB ZvK AZvUv k Kie bv| Zvi KvQ gZzi Pq ^vfvweK Kvbv NUbv bB, euP _vKvi Pq eov Kvbv weq bB| Zv, GBme wewfb aibi gvbylK bv Pbv Mj wK Avi `kK Pbv hvq? Ab AvRKvj Gjv fve| GmeB Zvi wPv, mwZKvi A_ m Zv DcKjeZx ^Rb nvivbv Kvbv gvbyl `Lwb! m Avmj `Lwb wKQyB| D`vmcyi Avi GB XvKv knii wKQy Ask Qvov cyiv `kwUB Zvi A`Lv iq MQ| gvbyl Pbv Zv `~ii K_v, G`ki cvKwZK icm`hI GLb ch Zvi KvQ Kej gYKvwnbx co ic`kbi gZv Abi gyL Svj LvIqv| gvbyli KvQ cw_exi ^MivR ej cwiwPZ AvgwiKvi AvbvP KvbvP Nyi ewoqQ m, BDivci KqKwU `kI Nyi `Lvi myhvM nqQ Zvi Kej GB `kwUiB wKQy `Lv njv bv| Gme K_v fvej evevK GKRb e_ gvbyl ejB gb nq Abi| kKo PbvZ eM wQjb wZwb, fewQjb Qjgqiv `k wbq gZ DVe| kvvi `v`v hgb wekvm Kib, Ab`i c~ecyil`i mKjB wQjb Zv`i Kvji k gvbyl Ges GB cwieviB Rb be Ggb GKRb gvbyl h `kK cvcviwj bZZ w`Z cvie AwZ Kbv, AwZkqvw m`n bB wK K Rvb, nqZv evevI GgbwUB fveZb| nqZv wZwb Zuvi Qji ga mB mvebv LyuR `LZ PqwQjb Avi GRbB Zuvi mvivRxebi Dcjw, `kb Avi wPvfvebv Rvwbq hZ PqwQjb AbK| hw` evev mwZ Ggb Kvbv ^c `L _vKb Zvnj Zuvi mB ^c e_ nqQ, Zv Zv ejvB evj| bZZ `qv `~i _vK, m Zv GB `ki AskB nq DVZ cviwb| evevi fvM fvjv ejZ ne h, ZuvK `L hZ nqwb Zuvi Qj Rxebi ^Yvjx mgqUzKz w`q GmQ Ab GKwU `kK| evevi wPv ev ^ci cwZdjb Avi KZUzKzB ev `Lv hvQ Zv`i Rxeb? evb`i `Lj Zv gb nq bv h, evevi wPv Zv`i Rxeb Kvbv KvR GmQ| msmvi wbq gnve GBme wPib gwnjv`i KvQ kKo Pbvi `vg KZUzKz? Ab gvS gvS fve Zvi c~ecyil`i hgb wKQy-bv-wKQy ZvMi BwZnvm AvQ, m-I Zgb Kvbv `v vcb Kie bv wK? GB myL-^vQ`gq wbivc` Rxebi e fO ewiq coj Kgb nq? Kgb nq hw` me QoQyo
AvMK 11

m mvivwU `k Pl eovq? evev D`vmcyi wMq h ei kKo MowQjb, m bv nq mvivwU `kB Zvi Wvjcvjv Qwoq w`jv! wK GK_v gb njB Zvi VuvU g`y I `ytwLZ GK wPjZ nvwm dzU IV| evevi KLbv LvIqv-civi K_v wPv KiZ nqwb; D`vmcyi DivwaKvim~B cqwQjb wekvj mw m mei dmj _K mviveQii LiP PjI D _K hZ| Abi Avi m myhvM bB mB me mw GLbv AvQ Kx bv, bvwK `Lj nq MQ, ev evbiv wew-wUw Ki w`qQ, wKsev _vKjI Kx Aevq AvQ, Kvi Zveavb AvQ m Zvi wKQyB Rvb bv, Rvbvi cqvRbI Abyfe Ki bv| `xN cevmRxebi dj m cvQ nvZbvZ| Mvgi K_v m hZB fveyK, hZB fvjvevmyK mBme dj Avmv mvbvjx w`bi wZ, hZB gM nq _vKzK kkeKkvi wbq, wKsev hZB gvngy nq _vKzK D`vmcyi Rj-nvIqv-b`x I AvKvk wbq m Rvb ILvb wMq Avi emevm Kiv Zvi c me bq| GB kni Zvi APbv, AbvZxq, Avi Pbv D`vmcyi wdi hvIqv me bq Zvnj m KieUv wK? GLvbI wK m evm Kie cevmxi gZvB? bvwK Acv Ki _vKe mgqi m mewKQy wVK nq hvIqvi? kvvK m Gme K_v evSvq wKfve? I hLb Ni wbSzg nq em _vKv AbK ejevBi _K Nyi-Uzi Gmv bv Kb? ZLb m Kxfve ejGB kniwU Avgvi fvjvjvM bv, Avwg GLvbKvi KD bB!

AvMK

29

8 GZw`b ci `k wdi Gm GLvbKvi cwiek-cwiwwZi m gvwbq wbZ Abi h Amyweav nQ kvv ek fvjvfveB Zv eySZ cvi| evSv hvq G-I h, GB mgq, GLvbKvi gvbyl Avi GB `kwUK Ab cvYcY evSvi Pv KiQ| gvS gvSB Ab Awdm _K ewiq Gw`K Iw`K Pj hvq, Awbw` Nyi eovq wKsev wfo hvq e gvbyli Kvbv RUjvq, Zv`i AvPvi-AvPiY evSvi Pv Ki, Avi evmvq wdi gnv DRbv wbq kvvK mB me M kvbvq| jvKUvi Pv I GKvMZv `L kvvi LvivcB jvM| GZ AvMn wbq m GB gvbyljvK eySZ PvBQ, cviQ bv ay G`i m Zvi `xN wewQbZvi Rb| A_P `vLv, hviv GB Rxeb mnRB eySZ cviZv, Zviv KD eySZB PvBQ bv| kvv Rvb, GB knii gvbyl Kx ^v_ci, wbR`i wbq Kx fqvbK e Zviv, Ab`i wbq wPvi mgq Kv_vq? nuv, kvvi gb nq, gvbyl Avi Zv`i RxebK eySZ nj cPzi mgq eq Kiv `iKvi, hgb KiZv Kvqmvi Zvi ez I mncvVx, Ame gavex Avi mvebvgq GK ZiY, mKj elwqK ARbK A^xKvi Ki h ay jLK nZ PqQ| KvqmviB kvvK wkwLqwQj Kxfve ZvKvZ nq Rxebi w`K; `wLqwQj gvbyli Rxeb Kx fqvenfve ivRbxwZ-cfvweZ| AvcvZ`wZ ivRbxwZi m mKnxb GKwU NUbvI Kxfve ivRbxwZi mB mwKZ, Kvqmvi Zv PvL AvOyj w`q `wLq w`Zv| ay ZvB bq, Rxebi hveZxq AbylB wQjv Zvi AvMni welq, dj me wKQy wbqB Zvi AyZ wKQy fvebv wQjv| kvv mB me K_vevZv gvS gvS Abi KvQ ejj I GZ AevK nq hvq h ejvi bq| `y-GKevi I Lye mijfve Zzwg eySj wKfve kvvgwY? wRm Kij kvv Kvqmvii M KiwQj| mB _K Kvqmvii m K_v ejvi Lye kL Abi| wK nQ-ne KiI Ii m hvMvhvMUv Avi nq DVQ bv ej AvcvZZ kvv wbRB AbK mvnvh Kivi Pv KiQ| ay K_v ejvB bq, Ab bv PvBjI kvv gvS gvS ZvK wbq Rvi-Ryjyg Ki evBi eivq| -kwb `y-w`b QywUZ Ab hb LvwbKUv nuvwcqB IV| GKUvbv KZY Avi Ni em _vKZ fvjv jvM? kvv ZvB eivevi Rb kwbeviwUKB eQ bq| mKvj bvvUvv miB ej, Pjv evBi _K Nyi Avwm| c_g w`K Ab GKUz fqB cZv kvv hw` gvKU-UvKU NyiZ Pvq, ZvnjB nqQ! cw_exi mePq weiwKi RvqMv GBme gvKU, Zey h ILvb hZ gqiv Kb GZ fvjvevm! wK kvvi
AvMK 11

Iw`K Lye GKUv Uvb bB `L m nuvd Qo euPQ| AbK wbq kvv c_gB wMqwQj XvKv BDwbfvwmwUZ| GLvb m covkvbv KiQ, GLvb Zvi AbK wZ, G wbq MeI Lye| Ab Lye AevK nqwQj XvKv BDwbfvwmwUi gZv GKUv bUvwiqvm BDwbfvwmwUZ co kvv GZ Me eva Ki Kb? Ab Zv hZ`~i Rvb GLvb Mvjvwj, gviwcU, Puv`vevwR, mvm Gme jMB AvQ! Pvi eQii Kvm kl Ki eivZ eivZ GKRb Qvi 7/8 eQi jM hvq| Zv, GB Aevq GLvbKvi QvQvxiv covkvbv KiQ Kxfve, Avi KijI Zv wbq Me Kivi Kx AvQ Ab fe cZv bv| m wbR GKwU cw_ex-miv BDwbfvwmwUi Qv KB, Zvi Zv G wbq Kvbv Meeva bB! Zvnj wK GUv kvvi GKaibi z`Zv, h, m Ab Kvbv BDwbfvwmwU `Lwb ej GUv wbqB Zvi hveZxq AveM, Drmvn, Mie? wK Abi GB aviYv e`jvZ mgq jvMwb| kvvB e`j w`qQ| m ZvK evievi GLvb wbq Avm, Gm fxlY AveMceY nq co, Avi IK hb K_vq cq em| evmvq hgb Ab cvq GKvB D`vmcyi M Ki hvq GLvb Gj Zgwb kvv GKvB Zvi BDwbfvwmwU Rxebi M Ki| Ii h Mie ev Bgvkb Zvi KviY Ab GLb evS| Abi KvQ D`vmcyii wZ hgb mePq wcq I iZc~Y kvvi KvQ fvwmwU Rxeb ZgbB GLvbB m iL MQ Zvi mvbvjx mgq, AbK wZ I mK, h wZ I mKi Rb Ab eivei ZvZ eva Ki| kvv AbK M Ki| Zv`i ZviY wQjv AwiZvq fiv| BDwbfvwmwUi fveg~wZ LyeB KiY nq cowQj IB mgq mvm, Puv`vevwR, `jevwR Avi nZv G meB nq cowQj wbZbgwK evcvi| hw`I Gmei m hviv RwoZ wQjv Zviv msLvq LyeB bMb, gvU 28 nvRvi QvQvxi ga G`i msLv 280-I ne Kx bv m`n; Zviv mevB Avevi BDwbfvwmwUi QvI bq Zey G`i AcKgi `vqfvi enb KiZ nqQ mg QvQvxKB| gvmi ci gvm BDwbfvwmwU e _KQ, Ai SbSbvwbZ cKwZ nqQ GB meyR gvqvgq Kvvm, Avi PjQ gvMZ AccPvi| wgwWqvjv memgqB AwZiwZ Ki Lei cKvk KiQ, `y-ci ga 10/12 ivD wj wewbgq njB ccwKvq jLv nqQ kZ kZ ivDi K_v| wQbZvB nQ mviv kni RyoB, A_P Kvvm IiKg GKUv NUbv NUjB mUvK Ggb iOPO gL cwiekb Kiv nZv hb GB evcviwU GLvb wbZw`bB NU PjQ| gvbyli Ggb GKwU aviYv RbwQj h, Kvvm gvbB GKwU wefxwlKv, ILvb Kvbv gvbyli c XvKv me bq| A_P GKeviI KD fe `Lwb GLvb Zvnj mviv`ki
AvMK
30

28 nvRvi Qjgq Kxfve covkvbv KiQ, RvbZ Pvqwb Kvvm m^ Zv`i fvebvUv wK! GB Qjgq`i KvQ Kvvm Zv gvqi AvuPji gZv gvqvgq I wbfihvM, meyR I cvYe| `k Zv eUB, ewnwek ch Gme cPviYvi dj meviB aviYv RbQ h, GLvb covkvbv ejZ wKQy nq bv, wkKiv ivRbxwZZ Avi Qviv mvm e| KD fZii LeiwU bqwb| RvbZ Pvqwb h, Zvnj GLvb Kxfve Qjgqiv cixv w`Q, cvk KiQ, KgRxeb ivLQ gav I mvdji mvi| GB `ki Ggb wK Kvbv mi AvQ hLvb GB BDwbfvwmwUi Qjgqiv KvR KiQ bv? GgbwK cvk Kivi ci hviv DPwkv_ evBi hvQ, ZvivI wK mLvb Dj gavi mvi ivLQ bv? kvvi AZ 15/16 Rb ez-evex GLb cw_exi wewfb `k covkvbv KiQ, Ges mevB IBme BDwbfvwmwUi miv Qv cwiYZ nqQ| KvbviKg evKMvD Qvov wK GUv me? Gme wbq kvvi vf AvQ, `ytL AvQ, AvQ Mfxi Keva| Ab G KqKw`b eyS MQ Gme vf, `ytL, Ki cQb AvQ GB BDwbfvwmwUi Rb Ii Mfxi fvjvevmv| h gq KvvmK gvqi AvuPji gZv wbfihvM Avi gvqvgq ej gb Ki, Zvi fvjvevmvi K_v wK Avi ej w`Z nq? GZUv Avcb Ki feQ ejB Ii KvQ GB fvwmwUi g~jI Acwimxg cw_ex-miv fvwmwUZ coI Abi ga hv bB| cvq GKhyMi cevmRxeb ZviI h-Kvbv wZ ev mK bB Zv Zv bq, wK mjvi Rb m Zgb Kvbv AveM Abyfe Ki bv| kvv hgb Ki| kvv Ii dj Avmv Rxebi AbK MB KiQ Zvi `y-GKwU GKevi Avg~j bvov w`q hvevi gZv| hgb I GKw`b Ii KqKRb mncvVxi M KiwQj, hviv g~jZ wewfb Qv msMVbi AvgW KvWvi wQjv, Ges gqiv ^fveZB I`iK Gwoq PjZv| wK hLb `j eua Kv_vI hvIqvi cvMvg nZv, ZLb IivB wQjv fimv, KviY mncvVx`i wekl Ki gq`i wbivcvi evcvi Iiv memgq cZ nq _vKZv| 21 deqvwi, 26 gvP, 1 ekvL ev 16 wWm^ii gZv wekl w`bjvZ hLb mviv kni gvbyl gvbyl mqjve nq hvq, ZLb Iiv Ggbfve gq`i wNi ivLZv hb Ab Kvbv gvbyli Quvqv ch bv jvMZ cvi| mncvwVbx`i wbivcv `LZ wMq I`i Avi Avb` Kiv nZv bv, wK GZ I`i Zgb Kvbv `ytLI wQjv bv, Kvbv-bv-Kvbvfve h evex`i KvR jvMQ GZB Iiv gnv Avbw`Z| Gme NUbvq kvv I Zvi evexiv Awff~Z nq coZv| Qjez`i gb h Zv`i Rb GZ ggZv AvQ, Zv`i wbivcvi Rb GZ DrKv AvQ; GgbwK KvWvi ej hv`iK Zviv
AvMK 11

Gwoq Pj, ZvivI h evex`i Rb GZUv mPZb Gme NUbv bv NUj Zviv Zv eySZB cviZv bv| GB evcviwUK Ab wbRi gZv Ki eyS wbZ PqQ| kvv I evex`i Rb GUv wQjv GKUv Dcjwi evcvi h, eziv Zv`i evcvi KZUv mPZb I mse`bkxj| GKm AbKw`b covkvbv Kij mncvVx`i m ^vfvweKfveB GK aibi mL Mo IV| AbiI Zv wQjv, wK G aibi Kvbv NUbv Zvi Rxeb NUwb| ILvb gqiv ^vaxb, wbRiUv wbRKB eyS wbZ nq mevBK Zv Qvov Dcvq bB| K KviUv `L? mKjB wbRK wbq e| wekl Ki Zvi gZv cevmxiv AvgwiKvq coZ AvmvUvK GKUv wekl myhvM wnmeB `L, dj GB myhvMi c~Y menvi KiZ mKjB Lye D`Mxe| ZvQvov, jviwkc ev wUwPs GvwmUwkc bv cj LiP Pvjvbvi Rb ILvb cvq mevB Aemi mgq bvbv aibi KvR Ki| dj Adzi Avvi mgq bB, myhvM bB cMvp ezZ Mo IVvi| Qjgqiv ^vaxb ejB, MvwRqvb`i f~wgKv cvq bB ejB GKm wmbgv `Lv ev Kv_vI eovZ hvIqv Zv`i KvQ ivgvKi wKQy wQjv bv| GgbwK mvgvi ev wgvm QywUi mgqI nqZv Zviv Kv_vI `jeua NyiZ hZ, wK mUvKI wbQK mgq KvUvbv Qvov Ggb wekl wKQy gb nqwb Abi| A_P kvviv GKevi mevB wgj KevRvi wMqwQj GB NUbvwU bvwK Zv`i Rxeb AbZg cavb NUbv nq AvQ| kvvi gyL mB gY Kvwnbxi bvbv cm h KZevi kvbv nq MQ Zvi Bqv bB| gvvmi klw`K, wkvmdii bvg Avgiv GK mvni Rb XvKv QowQjvg| PwjkRb Qj, `kRb gq| mevi KvQ _K Puv`v Zzj, wWcvUgUi dv _K Aby`vb wbq, Rvbvj ei Ki mLvb _K wevcb eve` UvKv GKm Ki Avgiv iIqvbv nqwQjvg| evcviUv bZ hZUv ^vfvweK kvbvq, Avmj ZZvUv ^vfvweK bq| evsjv`ki gawe gv-eveviv AZvUv D`vi GLbv nq hvbwb h, Zv`i gq`iK GZjv Qji m mvZw`bi Rb Qo `eb| wK ez`i cwZ Avgv`i cej Avv I wekvm `L Zviv mwZ w`qwQjb| XvKv Qo hvIqvi w`b me gqiB gv-evev GmwQjb Zv`iK we`vq RvbvZ, Qj`iK ejwQjbZvgiv wK I`i w`K Lqvj iLv I`iK KLbv GKv Kv_vI hZ w`Bwb, GB c_g Iiv hvQ; Zvgv`i Ici fimv KiB hZ w`wQ| Qjiv Lqvj iLwQj ek fvjvfveB iLwQj|
AvMK
31

Avgiv GKUv eo evm wiRvf Ki wbqwQjvg| Zv, evm Qvovi m m GKUv Avb`i XD eq wMqwQj mevi ga GZjv ez GKm, GZw`bi Rb, fvevB hvq bv| GKevi ^vaxb mevB GgbwK `bw`b wPv _KI gy| Zv, evm hLb XvKv Qvojv ZLbB Avgv`i D`vwM ez`i `y-Rb Kvqmvi I iZb Zzgj y KiZvwj, n jvo Avi DQvmi ga w`q AvbyvwbK hvvi NvlYv Kijv| Qjiv h Lqvj iLwQj mUv evSv Mjv `y-wZb Nv ci, hLb c_ GKevi hvvweiwZ Kiv njv| Iiv Gm Avgv`i wRm KijvZviv wK KD UqjU hvwe? Avgiv Zv jvq jvj! GiKg cm GZw`b GKm covkvbv KijI KLbv IVwb, welqwU Mvcbxq ejB| wK Iiv mnR ^vfvweK, ejjvZviv GZ jv cvwQm Kb? GUv Zv Lye ^vfvweK evcvi| mwZB AbKi hvIqv `iKvi wQjv, wK KD gyL dzU ejZ cviwQj bv| `y-wZb w`bi ga Aek evcviUv Lye ^vfvweK nq Mjv; `Lv Mjv Gevi Avgiv wbRivB evm _vgvZ ejwQ ev_ig cqQ ej| Qjiv Aek Vvv KiZ Qvojv bv`y-w`b AvMI Zv cU dzj gi MjI Aejv`i gyL K_v dzUZv bv, GLb wbR _KB... AvgivI Qvojvg bv, welqwU wbq gayi GKUv SMovB nq Mjv, ejjvg Zviv Zv GKwU wekl cvYxi gZv hLvb-mLvb cv Zzj `uvwoq hZ cvwim, Avgiv Zv Avi IiKg bB, Avgv`i ga jvkig bvgK GKUv gvbweK Y AvQ| Zv Zv`i IiKg nZ bv KiQ K? ZvivI bv nq cv Zzj `uvwoq hv, Avgiv GKUz `wL| GvB, AmfZv Kiwe bv, Vvs fO `ev| Aejv`i gyL AvRKvj mvmx`i gZv gwKI eivq `LwQ jY Zv myweavi bv| ewj, Avgiv bv nq hLvb mLvb `uvwoq hvB jvkig bB ej Zv Avcbviv hLb evcviUv ZvwKq ZvwKq `Lb ZLb Avcbv`i jv hvq Kv_vq? BZvw` BZvw`| Zv, mvZw`bi cvMvg `y-w`b hve c_, `y-w`b KevRvi, `y-w`b PMvg Avi GKw`b ivOvgvwU GB wQjv gYm~wP| wK `Lv Mjv, KevRvi `y-w`b _vKj c~wYgvUv wgm KiZ nq, Avi GKw`b ewk _vKjB mUv aiv hvq| Avgiv evqbv aijvg c~wYgvUv bv `L Avgiv KevRvi _K hvev bv, Zviv iwUb P Ki| evSv Mjv I`iI miKgB BQv, KevRvi meviB fvjv jvMQ| ILvb Avgiv wQjvg chUb wm-weP _K 3/4 wKjvwgUvi `~i AvbweK
AvMK 11

kw Kwgkbi i nvDR| mLvb chUb wePi gZv n-njv bB, gvbyli wfo bB, mvi ci ciB mewKQy wbSzg-wbRb nq hvq| ivZ LvIqvi AvM ch Avgiv mevB wgj Nyi eovB, Zvici evm Ki kni wMq Lq`q Gm invDR XywK| invDR wZbU eWig, GKUv Wwqs Avi GKUv njig| wZbU eWigi `yUvB Avgv`i gvb gq`i Rb Qo `qv nqQ| Aek `yUv ig PviU gv eW wK ZvZ wK? `yUv LvU Rvov jvwMq fvMvfvwM Ki mevB wgj Z Kvbv AmyweavB njv bv Avgv`i| wK Qj`i Aev KiY| GKUv gv eWig bv nq 4/5 Rb Z cvi evwK mevB? WBs ev njig kvqvi eev bB| wK ZvZI Kvbv Amyweav njv bv| gvb, IivB me eev Ki wbjv| KD mvdvq, KD dvi Mv`vMvw` Ki ivZ Kvevi Ki w`jv| Aek ILvb Nyg nZv mvgvbB| KviY, cvq mviv ivZB Pj gviv_b Avv| Qjiv AbK ivZ ch mKZ Nyi eovq, cvnvo DV hvq, wK gq`i Rb Gme wbla| APbv RvqMv KLb Kx nq hvq ejv Zv hvq bv! Avgiv wUwb KvwU Zv`i fvemve `L gb nQ, ez`i m bq, AvsKj`i m eovZ GmwQ| wK Iiv wbweKvi gyL mBme welgvLvbv wUwb bB hvq Avi fvOv iKWi gZv ejZB _vKhv-B ewjm, APbv RvqMv, KLb Kx nq hvq ejv Zv hvq bv, LvgvLv Zv GKUv wi wbq jvf wK! AZGe Avgv`iK nZvk nq evjKwbZ emB RvQbvcvweZ mgy`i ic-`kb Ki m _vKZ nq| Aek Lq divi ci cwZw`bB njig Avmi Rg; Iiv Kvbv-bv-Kvbv Abyvbi AvqvRb KiB dj Mvb, M, KweZv, KZzK, nvwm-Vvv Gme `y-wZb Nv mgq Aejxjvq KU hvq| Zvici Avgv`i Ici Kzg Rvwi nqGevi NygvZ hv, mKvj `kUvi AvM Zv ivRKbv`i NygB fvOZ Pvq bv| fvi DV dRii bvgvR cowe, Avi mKvj DV hb bvvUv iwW cvB, bBj... BZvw`| Avgv`i GBme ej Iiv nuvUZ eivq| H wbRb mgy` mKZ RvQbvcvweZ nIqvi Rb c~wYgvi cqvRb bB, Zvi KqKw`b AvM _KB gb nq hb RvQbvi Xj bgQ| Zey c~wYgv Zv GKUv wekl NUbv wekl Ki mgy` Avi c~wYgvi Kw^bkb K-Rb gvbyli `Lvi mfvM nq? AZGe IBw`b weKj _KB Avgiv `vwe RvbvZ jvMjvg AvRK mviv ivZ Avgiv weP KvUvev, Zv`i K_v wKQyZB bev bv| wK Iiv GeviI wbweKvi fve Di w`jvcvMj nqwQm! GZjv WvbvKvUv cix ivZfi evBi evBi Nyi eovQ, GB Lei cq hw` mvmxiv Pj Avm,
AvMK
32

Zvnj Zv Avgv`i jR Zzj cvjvbv Qvov Kvbv Dcvq _vKe bv! Avi hw` Kvbv `yNUbv NUB hvq, Zvnj Zvi `vq`vwqZ K be wb? wK Gme ej Avgv`i Avi wbi Kiv hve bv| mevB wgj em miKgB wmv wbqwQ| AZGe Avgv`i `vwe PjZB _vKjv, Avi iziU em Qvojvg gvg A| ejjvgZviv me fxZz, Kvcyil| PwjkUv Kvcyili m eovZ GmwQ| GZjv Rvqvb-g` wgj hw` Avgv`i wbivcv bv-B w`Z cviwe, Zvnj wbq Gwj Kb? wK ZviciI Iiv wbweKvi-wbn| ay GKRb wUwb KU ejjvRvqvb g`iv Kvb KvRUvB ev Rvqvb g``i gZv KiQ ej? GB GZjv WvbvKvUv cix cvk wbqI Kgb myeva evjK mR em AvQ `LwQm bv! Avgv`i n-njvq Ii K_v Pvcv co Mjv wVKB, wK mgmvi mgvavb njv bv| GB RvQbvcvweZ ivZ KvUvZ ne Ni em, mgy`i GZ KvQ GmI! Dn! Avgiv hb Avi fveZ cviwQjvg bv| wK evm cwZw`bB Gm i nvDRi KvQ _vg AvRK wMq `uvovjv GKevi mgy`i KvQ| Avgiv AevK| Avi Avgv`i weqK Aviv evwoq w`q Kvqmvi NvlYv Kijv AvRK Zv`iK ^vaxbZv w`jvg| hv, hvi hv BQ Ki| gvb? gvb AvRK Avi Ni div bq, mevB wgj wePB _vKev, ivwR? Avgiv ixwZgZv nq Mjvg GB wmv Iiv Avevi KLb wbjv? ZviciB GKUv jvo DVjv Avb`i, Avi ZviciB ksKvi wdmwdm GB mwZB hw` Kvbv wec` nq? Iiv Gevi wUwb KvUZ Qvojv bv Gn, exi bvixiv `wL fq cqQb! GZY fi h Avgv`i MvjvMvwj Kiv njv, ewj GLb Avcbv`i mvnm Mjv Kv_vq? GB dvRjvwg Kwim bv| ej bv, hw` Avevi wec`-wUc` nq, Zvnj? Zvi Pq eis Pj wdiB hvB| Avi bv| me eev Ki iLwQ bv? eev? eev gvb? gvb Rvbv Mjv, I`i KqKRb AvRK _vbvq wMq Rvwbq GmQ; ZviciI mveavbi gvi bB fe vbxq jvKRbK wRm KiQ ivZ gqiv eivj Kvbv wec`-wUc`i mvebv AvQ Kx bv! Zviv Avkvm w`qQ| Kvbv Svgjv nj Zv`iK WvKZ ejQ| Gjv Iiv KiQ Avgv`i Zid _K `vwe IVvi AvMB, wK mvicvBR `e ej jywKq iLwQj| b Avgiv
AvMK 11

Djvm dU cojvg, evm _K bgB KqKRb Mjv vbxq Rjcvovq, jvKRbK WK ejjvAvgiv wK mvivivZ evBi _vKev| AvQv eveviv _vKb, Kvbv Amyweav bvB, Avgiv Lqvj ivLev| mB ivZ| Agb GKwU ivZ Avgv`i Kviv RxebB Avi GKwUeviI Avme bv| c~wYgvi _-_ RvQbvq fm hvIqv mgy` mKZ, D`vi-D`vmxb-inmgq mgy` Avi AvKvk Avgv`iK GKevi wfb gvbyl cwiYZ KiwQj| mvivivZ Avgiv Nyi eovjvg; KLbv `j eua, KLbv Mc Mc fvM nq; KLbv Mvb Mq, M Ki, KLbv PzcPvc| welY D`vmxbZvq Qq Mjv mg cKw Z hLb Avgv`i Kvqmvi GKi ci GK KweZv Avew Ki kvbvZ jvMjv, Avi myifx Mvb Mq kvbvjv GKi ci GK| Avgv`i ZLb gb nwQj cw_exZ Avi wKQyB mwZ bq, GKgv GB wekvj-D`vmxb-welY-Mxi mgy` Avi AvKvk Qvov| wbR`iK gb nwQj cKw ZiB mvb| XvKvq wdi Avgv`iK Avevi mB Pvi `qvj Niv e Ni AvUKv coZ ne, `y-w`b ci wekwe`vjqi kl cixvq emZ ne, Avi Zvici Avgv`i Rb Acv KiQ wfb Kvbv GK Rxeb, GB GZ KvQi ezivI wewQb nq hve, `~i mi hve Rxebi Awbevh wbqg Avgv`i Zv gbB wQjv bv| KZ K_v njv Avgv`i, KZ Mvb, KZ AveMgq gyn~Z| kl ivZi w`K K_v ejZ ejZ wgZv Zv Ku`B djjv, ejjv Gi AvMI Avwg gv-evevi mv_ GLvb GmwQ, nqZv fwelZ AveviI Avmv ne GKv A_ev ^vgxi m| wK Kvbvw`b KD AvgvK Ggb Ki ^vaxbZv `qwb, `e bv| Avgv`i Rxeb Aviv AbK c~wYgvi ivZ Avme, wK Ggb Avi GKwU ivZI Avme bv| AvRK Zv`i KvQ _K hv cjvg Kvbvw`b Zv cvev bv Kv_vI, eov KZ nq _vKev i mviv Rxeb| Ii K_v b, Kvbv `L, Avgv`iI gvb gq`i PvL wfR DVjv, I hb Avgv`i mevi gbi K_vwUB ej w`jv; Avi nq em iBjv Qjiv| Iiv meZ Avgv`i KvQ _K Ggb AveMceY cwZwqv Avkv Kiwb| Mvj nq em wQjvg Avgiv, fvii D`vmxb kxZj evZvm nVvrB hb mevB eov ewk PzcPvc nq Mjv| Zvici nVvrB Kvqmvi Avevi Avew i Kijv Avwg Zvgv`iB jvK; GUv kl nj AviKUv AvR AZwi cvk we`vqi welY igvj K Zvj Ai Kvjv Avmev bv| Ii Avew kl nZ bv nZB myifx i Kijv Mvb Avgvi hvevi ejvq wcQy WvK, fvii Avjv gNi duvK duvK| GKmgq `Lv Mjv mevi PvLB fRv, mevi gyLB AyZ welYZv, hb Kvbv GK AjwKK hv`yi KvwVZ 50 Rb ZiY-ZiYxi Abyf~wZi
AvMK
33

RMr wgjwgk GK nq MQ| hb KD Avi Avjv`v bq, mevi wVK GKB iKg Abyf~wZ, GKB Avb`, GKB K| H mvZw`b Avgiv ciiK Ggbfve wPbwQjvg, GZ KvQvKvwQ Pj GmwQjvg h, Gi AvM Qq eQiI mUv nqwb| hw`b XvKvq wdijvg, evm Gm _vgjv Kvvm; Zvi GKUz AvM _KB we`vqi myi evRQ, Iiv `j eua MvBQKwd nvDRi mB AvvUv AvR Avi bB Mvb Zv MvBQ bv, hb Kuv`Q Iiv| evm _vgZ `Lv Mjv mwZ mevB Kuv`Q| Gevi Avi bxie bq, eis cKvkB GK AciK Rwoq ai nvDgvD Ki Kuv`Q, hb IB w`bB kl `Lv nQ| Avmj Ggb wbweo Ki ciiK Abyfe Kivi myhvM Zv nqwb KLbv, hw`I GKm cowQ QeQi Zey GB knii RwUjZvq Avv Avgiv eySZB cvwiwb Avgv`i eziv cKZc Kgb, Avi Avgiv KZUv fvjvevwm ciiK| mB myhvM Gb w`qwQj GB gY| ZvB Ggb Kvbv, GZ K| kvvi GB M b Ab Lye Clv eva KiwQj| Zvi Rxeb Ggb Kvbv gayi wZ bB| Zvi hv wKQy H D`vmcyi wNi| mLvb gv evev evbiv wK ez Zvi fvM RvUwb| AZ Ggb cMvp ezZ Zv m KbvB KiZ cvi bv| GKwU gv Mvb mevB Ku` DVe, GKwU KweZvi csw mevBK welY Ki `e Ggb Mfxi ezZ, Ggb Mfxi Abyf~wZ ciii Rb m fveZB cvi bv| Ggb mKi Kvbv Zzjbv nq bv| APbv KqKwU Qjgq nVvr Ki ciii GZ KvQ Gm co H ezZ bvgK AyZ mKi Rb Ab IiKg GKwU mKi Rb eov ZvZ eva Ki| bB, GB kni GKRb ezI bB Zvi, hvi m wKQyUv wZ fvMvfvwM Ki bqv hvq|

9
AvMK 11

Abi Dcvq bB, ZvK ZvB GKv GKv NiB em _vKZ nq| hw`I m KLbv KLbv Awdm _K ewiq, evmvq bv wdi RbivY wgk hvevi Pv Ki, wK mwU wVK nq IV bv| GB gvbyljvK Zvi APbv jvM G`i AveM, Abyf~wZ, Rxebhvcbi aib, K_vevZv, AvPvi-AvPiY wKQyB hb Zvi Pbv bq| Avi GB kni AyZ Avi cvq Ame AwZ wbq Pc em Zvi eyKi Ici| GUv Kvbv kni njv? Kvbv cwiKbv bB, Kvbv my`~i-mywbw` fvebv bB Kviv ga GB kni wbq| h hvi BQ gZv eenvi KiQ GK| KDB XvKvK fvjvevm bv XvKv hb GK ekv, hvK Kej eenvi Kiv Pj| mviv`k _K GLvb Avmv gvbyljv nQ Gi Li, Avi GLvb hviv RwgUwgi gvwjK, Zviv njv cwZZvjqi gvwm`i gZv IB cuywRUzKzi mevP eenvi KiB Qvoe| Avi ZvB, wekvj wekvj me AvwjKv weivgnxb gv_v Zzj `uvwoq hvQ cvkvcvwk `yUv AvwjKvi gvSLvb Kvbv duvKv RvqMv QvovB, KviY, KD GZUzKz Qvo w`Z ivwR bq| Gfve PjZ _vKj GKw`b GB knii gvbyljv wbtkvm bevi myhvM cve bv, nuvmduvm KiZ KiZ gi hve| m fe cvqbv, GKwU `ki ivRavbx kni GiKg AcwiKwZ KvhKjvc Pj wKfve? GKi ci GK AvwjKv Zwi nQ wK Gi evwm`v`i Rb cvwbMvm-we`yr BZvw` bvMwiK myweavw`i eev wK Kiv nQ? G iKg GKKUv wews-G hZjv gvbyyl evm Ki Zv`i gqjv djvi Rb Avjv`v Ki GKUv Wvwebi eev Kiv `iKvi, Zv wK Kiv nQ? bv, nQ bv, ZvB Zv ivvNvU bvsiv AveRbvi QovQwo cyiv kniUvB hb GK fvMvo cwiYZ nqQ| myqviR eevI Zv gb nq fO coQ, gvbyl evoQ Zv`i gjg~ ZvM Kiv Zv Avi _g bB, mjv cvcviwj cvm Kivi eev bv KiB GBme AvwjKv wbgvYi AbygwZ mswk KZc wKfve `q? ay wK ZvB? gvbyl evoQ, hvbevnb evoQ ivvNvU Zv Avi evoQ bv, evovevi RvqMv-B ev Kv_vq? Pviw`K Kej GvcvUgU Avi gvKU| dj hv nevi ZvB nqQ iv vq `ytmn hvbRU| AvQv, GZ h AvcvUgU Avi gvKU Mo DVQ, AvcvUgUjv ``vim wew nQ, gvKUjvI ek miMig _vK cvq mviveQiB gvbyl GZ UvKv cjv Kv_vq? GZ AvcvUgU wew nq wKfve? GZjv gvKU Pj wKfve? Ab NyiZ NyiZ Gw`K Iw`K Pj hvq, GKevi `Ljv gMevRvi gvo _K gvwjevM gvo ch Avav wKjvwgUvii ga AvUUv gvKU Aviv `y-GKUv nQ| m nZevK nq wMqwQj| GUv Kvbv ck GjvKv
AvMK
34

bq, wbZvB gawe`i emevm GLvb, GZjv gvKU Zvnj Pj wKfve? kni RyoB GB GKB wP| gvKU Avi gvKU| Zvi wnme gj bv wKQzZB| GB knii Pwi m eySZ cvi bv| G wK GK Pwinxb kni cwiYZ njv? Avevi `vLv, GKw`K AvwjKv, mvwWqvg evwZ, gvKU Avi AviKw`K dzUcvZ wQbg~j gvbyli wfo, mLvbB Zv`i ayjvi msmvi| Gjv wK Kviv PvL co bv? bvwK `L `L mq MQ? Kgb wbweKvi, wbn, wbivm; wbRK wbq e mevB| hb RxebUv wbq e Svgjvq co MQ Zviv, wK _K wK Kie fe cvQ bv, GLvb myL bB Zv ILvb Pjv fe GLvb ILvb `ovQ, wK myL Avi cvIqv hvQ bv| G iKg nevi K_v wQjv bvwK GB h mevB wbRK wbq e nq coQ, GB h myL bvgK Aaiv wRwbmwUi Rb mevB A nq `ovQ Ggb wK nevi K_v wQjv? Avmj Kx h nevi K_v wQjv, Avi Kx h wQjv bv, Ab ZvB Zv Rvb bv| GB `kwUi mvebvi K_v m KLbv fe `Lvi myhvM cvqwb `kUv Zv PbvB njv bv Zvi| GKwU `kK ZLbB mvebvgq ejv hvq hLb Zvi Awaevmx`i ga _vK A wbwnZ cvYkw| evevi K_v gb cojv Abi| `ki `y`kvq wZwb kl Rxeb ek LvwbKUv nZvk nq cowQjb wekl Ki mwwjZ cPvi e`j gvbyli ga wbRK wbq e nq covi weKvi `L (nuv, wZwb GUvK weKvi-B ejZb) wZwb K cZb Lye| wK ZviciI kl ch wZwb Avkvev`xB wQjb| GB Avkvev`i cQb Lye fvjv Kvbv hyw wQjv bv Zuvi, Zey wZwb ^c `LZb GB RvwZ GKw`b Avevi Nyi `uvove| wZwb BwZnvmi wbqgi K_v ejZb| ejZb, GKwU RvwZ wPiKvj GKBiKgfve PjZ cvi bv| nq ZvK DV `uvovZ nq, bBj asm nq hZ nq| evOvwji nvRvi eQii BwZnvm KejB wbcxwoZ I wbhvwZZ nevi BwZnvm| wK GZ cyibv GKwU RvwZi Rb h Avjv`v Kvbv iv wQjv bv GUvB wQjv GB RvwZi mvebv I weKvki c_ mePq eov evav| gywhyi gvag AwRZ GKwU ^vaxb iv GB evavK AcmviY KiQ| evevi gZ fvlv Av`vjb evOvwj RvwZi `xN BwZnvm c_g iZc~Y I ewkc~Y Uvwbs cqU| H c_g evOvwj KvbviKg ivRbwZK `ji ZrciZv QvovB Zxe I ^ZZ mPZbZvi cwiPq w`qwQj| Avi ZviB avivevwnKZvq gywhyi gvag wbR`i Rb GKwU ^Z ivi Af~`q me nqQ| GB RvwZi `xN BwZnvm Gi AvM GZ iZc~Y NUbv Avi NUwb| GKwU ivi Rb, GKwU gvbweK-kvlYgy-mvgi mgvRi Rb GKwU mgM RvwZi GKm RM IVvi ga h Adzi cvYkwi cwiPq
AvMK 11

cvIqv hvq evev Zvi cwZ Lye Avvkxj wQjb| ^vaxbZvi ci _KB ivgZv eivei fyj gvbyli nvZ Pj hvIqvi dj RvwZ GKwU mvgwqK `y`kvq cwZZ nqQ GK_v wVK, wK GUv wPivqx nZ cvi bv; GB RvwZB GKw`b wbR`i gywi Rb RM DVe GB wekvm wbqB evev Pj hZ ciQb, mUv Zvi mfvMB ejZ ne Ab fvejv| mB QvUejvq Ab evSwb, wK GLb eySZ cvi evevi ga wQjv GKwU mgvRZvwK ivi ^c| Avgvi ej wKQy _vKe bv, meB Avgv`i nq hve GB wPv Zv Avmj mgvRZiB wPv| `v`v nqZv AZv cwivifve ivKvVvgvi K_v fveZb bv, GKwU ^vaxb iv cvIqv ch wQjv Zuvi ^ci mxgvbv, wK evev AviKUz GwMq wMq GKwU mywbw` ivKvVvgvi K_v fewQjb| mviv cw_exZ mgvRZvwK ivjvi cZb i nIqvi AvMB wZwb gviv MQb, GLbv hw` wZwb euP _vKZb Zvnj wK GKB ^c `LZb? K Rvb! AvRKi GB Aev `L evevi fvebv I ^ci mg_b Ab Kvbv Dcv`vbB LuyR cvq bv| AvQv, gvbyl bv nq bv-B fvejv mwwjZ AvqvRbi K_v wK wbRi K_v feI Zv m GKUz D`vmxb nZ cvi! gvbyl Rvb bv, D`vmxbZv ZvK KZUv my`i Ki Zvj! GKUz D`vmxbZv, GKUz Mfxi welYZv gvbylK `vkwbK Ki ZzjZ cvi| welq-Avkq, mnvq-mw, UvKv-cqmv, cwZv-mvdj Gme wbq GZ eZv gvbyli, GZ DrKv, GZ fvebv, GZ jvo, GZ cwZhvwMZv h, wbRi AwZi A_ I Dk wbq fveevi mgq Zvi GKeviB bB| wK nq, Gjv _K GKUz PvL wdwiq wbq, GKUzLvwb D`vmxb nq GB wekvj AvKvki w`K ZvwKq _vKj? GKUz welY nq GB Ame my`i ewcvZ `Lj? GB AvKvk fO cov RvQbvq Mv Wyweq gvbyl nq RbvZ cvivi Rb KZZvq-weq-wecbZvq PvL wfwRq Zzjj? gvbyl Rvb bv, Zvi PvicvkB AvQ myL I Avb` I weq I inmgqZvi bvbv DcKiY, GKUz Kej PvL gj mme `L wbZ nq| welq-mw, mvdj BZvw`i DrcvZ gvbyl GgbB A nq _vK h, H PvL gjevi AeKvkUzKz Avi cvq bv| wKsev, nqZv nqZv Kb, wbqB KD KD AvQ Ggb, Rxeb I cw_exi inmgqZvq h gy nq AvQ; wK Zv`i m Abi `Lv nq bv| kvv hgb Ii jLK ez Kvqmvii K_v ej Zv`i mncvVx`i ga m-B mePq gavex wQjv| GmGmwm, GBPGmwm `yUvZB evW v Kiv Qv wekwe`vjq Gm e`j Mjv| covkvbvq Zgb gb bB, Kej Nyi
AvMK
35

eovq, AvR XvKv AvQ Zv Kvj PMvg, co ewikvj Kx Kzwqv GBiKg| gvS gvS Kvm KiZv eU, Zv-I `vqmviv MvQi| AwZgvvq gavex ej cixvi AvM AvM gvmLvbK covkvbv KiB DZi hZ| ZvK wbq meviB Lye KZnj wQjv| ey-evex`i cki gyL m bvwK ejZvAvwg Zv Kvwiqvii K_v fvwe bv, RxweKv GKUv RyUB hve mRbB Zv cixv-Uwiv w`q cvk-Uvk KiwQ| IUv Avgvi Kvbv jB bq| Avwg Kej mvivRxeb ai wjL hZ PvB| KqKUv fvjv M, KqKUv Dcbvm Avi wKQy KweZv| GB Avgvi GKgv PvIqv Avi GRb BDwbfvwmwUi dv Kvm dv nIqvi Kvbv `iKviB bB| kvv ej I GKUz Pv KijB dv Kvm dv cwRkbUv cZv, Pv bv KiB D`vmxb, evnwgqvb Rxebhvcb KiI Zv I dv Kvm cqwQj| cwRkbUv cj wbNvr BDwbfvwmwUZ XyK hZ cviZv Zv Gme wbq hvi gv_v e_v bB ZvK K evSve? cvk Ki GKUv `wbK cwKvq PvKwi cjv I, ZvB wbqB Lye m AvQ| Lye Kg jL Kvqmvi, wK kvvi `p wekvm Kvqmvi GKw`b eo jLK neB| Ab Aek Ii Kvbv jLv cowb, Ii GLbv Kvbv eB eivqwb Ze kvvi wePvi-weePbvi Ici Zvi kv AvQ| weqi ci kvv ZvK evsjv`ki wKQy jLKi eB cwoqwQj| GB jLK`i m Zvi Zgb cwiPqB wQjv bv, wekmvwnZi weLvZ-ALvZ AbK jLKKB m gbvhvM w`q coQ, wK G `ki jLK`i cov nq IVwb IB we`k-wefuyBq Zuv`i `ycvcZvi KviYB| wK kvvi cQ`i jLK`i coZ wMq Zvi gb nqQ Guiv Kvbv AskB wekmvwnZi iZc~Y jLK`i Pq Kg kwgvb bb| Zv, Kvqmvi eo jLK ne Kx bv Ab Zv Rvb bv; mUv Zvi KvQ Zgb iZc~Y bqI; wK Zvi Lye BQ nq GKw`b wMq Kvqmvii m Avjvc Ki AvmZ| GKwU gavex Qj Kxfve cvijv Ggb Aejxjvq me Qo w`Z, Kvb welqwU ZvK Ggb D`vmxb-weevMx Ki Zzjjv! LvwZ bq, elwqK mvdj bq, A_-m` bq, m Kej PvBjv wjL hZ, Kej fvjv wKQy mw KiZ Kv_vq cjv I GB mwi ciYv? Ab gvS gvS kvvK ej Zvgvi ez`i AvmZ ejv bv Kb? wK Iiv h K Kv_vq Qwoq wQwUq AvQ kvv wbRI wVK Rvb bv| evex`i weq nq MQ I`i m Zey hvMvhvM AvQ, wK eziv h K Kv_vq! cvk Ki AbKB evBi Pj MQ, hviv `k wQjv ZvivI PvKwievKwi RywUq KD ev XvKv QoQ KD XvKvqB gnve| IB h Kvwiqvi!
AvMK 11

Rxeb mvdj cZ ne, DuPzZ DVZ ne| KZ DuPzZ? KD Rvb bv, Zey IUvB j| Gme b Ab ej Zvnj KvqmviKB AvmZ ejv bv! AvQv ejev| I Zv Kviv evmvq hvq bv ej bwQ, Zey ej `Lev| Abi aviYv Kvqmvii Rb kvvi GKUv Kvgj Abyf~wZ AvQ| mUvK wK cg ejv hve? Ab GKevi wRm KiwQj Zzwg KLbv cg covwb? bvn| Kb? Kb Avevi! cg coZB ne, Ggb Kvbv K_v AvQ bvwK? wK covUvB Zv ^vfvweK| Zv ^vfvweK, wK Avgvi mUv nq IVwb| KvDK fvjvI jvMwb? Zv jMQ nqZv| nqZv? nqZv Kb? nuv, jMwQj| jMwQj? KvK? Zv ZvgvK ejv hve bv| Zzwg G wbq Avevi AvgvK vcve| Avnv, ejvB bv| kvv Ki wKQz ejwb, wK K_vq K_vq Kvqmvii cmB ZzjwQj| AbI wXj QuyoZ Qvowb Zv Kvqmvii mI Zv Zvgvi cg nZ cviZv! bv, cviZv bv| Kb? cgi Rb AbKjv kZ c~iY KiZ nq, wK I Zv Kvbv kZ c~iY Kivi gvbyl bq| kZ? wKmi kZ? Avnv, Zzwg hb evSvbv wKQy| nuv, Ab eySwQj| kZ c~iY KiZ ne| wK kZ? bv, ZvgvK GKUv fvjv PvKwi KiZ ne, Zvgvi Dj fwelr _vKZ ne, mvmvBwUZ Zvgvi cvcvi vUvm _vKZ ne hb cwiPq w`Z Me eva Kiv hvq, DuPzZ IVvi gvbwmKZv I Pv _vKZ ne| jLK`i Kvbv fwelr AvQ bvwK? GB Kvwiqvi mPZb hyM jLKiv nQ mePq wbK, Ac`v_, AhvM KviY
AvMK
36

Zviv ^fveZB D`vmxb| G`i fvjv jvMZ cvi wK cg? Du, IUv Zvi Rb bq, weq Zv bqB| G`i m msmvi Kiv Pj bv| cw_exi meviB AvBWwUwU AvQ Kivwb _K Avgjv, mcvB _K Rbvij, wfzK _K eemvqx Kej bB jLK`i! jLK GUv Kvbv AvBWwUwU njv? Avcwb wK Kib? wjwL| bB Zv KuyPK hvq| jLv Avevi Kvbv KvR njv? AZGe, Kvqmvi Zzwg fvjvjvMvi gvbyl nq _vKv, cwgK nZ Gmv bv, ^vgx Zv bqB| Avn, e wnmwe mevB| Rxeb GZUyKz Qvo w`Z ivwR bq KD| GgbwK kvvI bq| Zv kvvi Avi `vl wK? mgvRUvB h Ggb, AbiKg wKQy fveevi AeKvk Kv_vq? bvn, fvjv jvMQ bv, G knii Kvbv wKQyB fvjv jvMQ bv Abi| GZme myig AvwjKv Mo DVQ, A_P Zvi gb nQ mewKQy fO coQ; hb duvcv GKwU KvVvgv `uvwoq AvQ fZi mvie ejZ wKQy bB| mewKQyi fZi m q hvevi Qvc `LZ cvQ| Avi GB wqz kni Eakvm QyU AvmQ gvbyl `ki bvbv cv _K| RxweKvi mvb, euP _vKvi Dcvq LuyRZ, mvdj I cwZv jvfi gvn Avi cwiYZ nQ GKKwU Ro c`v_| G`i PvLgyL KejB Eakvm `ovbvi wP, nZvkv I `yw vi Qvqv; GKRb gvbyl AbRb _K m~Y wewQb| Ab mUv fvjvfve Ui cqwQj Zvi GK cwZekx gviv Mj| mRbekZ m wMqwQj mLvb, Ges AevK weq Avwevi KiwQj m Qvov Avi Kvbv cwZekxB Avmwb| Avmv-hvIqvi c_ hv`i gyL `LZ `LZ ek LvwbKUv PbvB nq MQ Zv`i KvDKB m `LZ cjv bv ILvb| GgwbZI cwZekx`i m cvivwiK Kvbv mK bB| GKB wews-Gi `yUv Zjvi ev cvkvcvwk `yUv AvcvUgUi jvKRbi ga Kvbv Avjvc-cwiPq bB| KD Kvbv KZnjI `Lvq bv cwZekx m^| meZ Zv f`Zv-wei evcvi ej gb Kiv nq| ZvB ej gZi evwoZI KD Avme bv! AyZ! m-I wMq ek weeZKi Aevq cowQj| KD KD Zvi cwiPq wRm Kij Avi m wbRK cwZekx wnme cwiPq w`j Zviv hb ek AevKB nqwQj| hb, GgbwU Zv nevi K_v bq! Avi KD Avmwb, Dwb Gjb Kb? mwZ, fvwi AyZ jMwQj Abi| GLvb cZKwU mvgvwRK AvqvRb-Abyvb nQ wVKB, wK mjv cwZekx`i ev` w`q, Kej mswk`i AvZxq-^Rb wbq| GB kni meZ
AvMK 11

cwZekx _vKZ bB| A_P D`vmcyi cwZekxiv wbKUvZxqi gZvB AvcbRb| GK Acii myL-`ytL, Avb`-e`bvq, kvK-DQvm-AvqvRb webv AvgYB GwMq Avm| evevi K_v gb cojv Abi| B`vwbs Zvi gb nQ, `kK wPbZ nj Mvg hZ ne evevi GB DcjwUv mwVK| XvKvK `L wbqB evsjv`kK Pbv hve bv! wbqB mviv `ki wP GKBiKg bq! XvKv Zv fyjfve Mo IVv kni| mviv`k _K QyU GmQ gvbyl GB kni| Zv, wK PvB GLvb? PvKwi, eemv, cwZv, mvdj| Avi? Avi DVZ PvB DuPzZ, AbK DuPzZ, GZ DuPzZ hb mevBK PvL Zzj ZvwKq `LZ nq, AvOyj Zzj ejZ nq IB h AgyK, `vLv KZ Ici DVQ; hb GBme AcM AcK gyL gvbyljvi aivQuvqvi evBi _vKv hvq| Zv, AZv Ici DVZ Mj Zv ZvgvK fvjv gvbyli gZv _vKj Pje bv| Zvnj wK KiZ ne? ZvgviB gZv hviv wmuwo eq Ici DVZ PvQ mgq myhvM eyS Zv`i jvs gviv| GLvb KD Zvgvi mnhvMx bq, mevB Zvgvi cwZhvMx GB K_vwU gb iL Pje; GLvb Kvbv dqvi wWwjsm-Gi myhvM bB, meB dvDj Mg| AZGe jvs gi dj w`q cwZhvMx KgvI, c_I cwivi Ki| gbUv h Kgb Kgb Ki! Avi `~i, GBme gawemyjf muvZmuvZ AveM Qvov jvs bv gvij c_ cwivi ne wKfve? Avi Lei`vi, jvs gi Avevi cQb wdi `LZ hI bv h, jvKUvi wK njv Vvs fvOjv, gv_v dvUjv, bvwK giB Mjv! Mj MQ, AhvM ejB wUK _vKZ cviwb| AZGe Zzwg ggcxov _K Aejxjvq gy _vKZ cviv| hvMZvi ejB Zzwg GwMq hvQv, GMvZ wMq GKUz-AvaUz jvs gviZ nQ, KbyB gviZ nQ, avv w`Z nQ; cQb _K Zvgvi gawe gv-evev-wkK-eB-cyK -zj-KjR-wekwe`vjq _K wkL Avmv g~jeva bvgK dvjZz wRwbmUv ZvgvK Ub aivi Pv KiQ ej Iw`K bv ZvwKqB ZvgvK gvS gvS wcQ-jvw_ gviZ nQ ZvZ Avevi ZvgviB dj Avmv ^Rbiv AvNvZ cvQ| cvK, Zzwg Zv Avi `LQv bv! GmeB KiZ nq, bBj IVv hvq bv| AZGe, Mvjv g~jeva Mvjv, mnvbyf~wZ Mvjv, wkv-`xv-iwP-Av`k me Mvjv| iBjv Kej Ici IVvi Rb cqvRbxq K~UKkj| KD iBjv bv Avi AvcbRb-^Rb nq, mnhvMx nq mevB nq cwZhvMx, bv nq GwMq hvevi c_ evavwecw, hv`iK h-Kvbv g~j So djZB ne| gvbweK mKi PPv Avi iBjv bv| wKQyB iBjv bv Avmj| gvbyl ew` njv wbRiB m KvivMvi| hLb wdi ZvKvevi dzimr cvIqv Mjv, `Ljv LvgvLvB m GZ Ici DVQ KD Zv bB Pvicvk, gv-evevAvMK
37

fvB-evb-AvZxq-^Rb-x-cy-Kbv-cwiRb-ez-fvKvx KD bB| m wbtm nq Mjv, wewQb nq Mjv| GB Zv ki gvbyl| KD I iKg Ici DV MQ, KD DVZ i KiQ, KD DVZ PvBQ Avi Zvi Rb cqvRbxq mewKQy KiZ m cZ| Pzwi-Pvgvwi-jyUcvU-nZv-RLg-mvm me| Avi GB kni KejB Zv`i WK ejQ cQb wdi `Lv bv; mZZv, Av`k, mZevw`Zv, g~jeva Gjv me AKRv AvwfavwbK k, Gme Qvov| Qo mevB QvU nq hvI, Lye QvU, ZvZ bvbviKg duvKdvKi Mj mvdji `yMg `yM XyK hZ mywea ne Zvgvi| cvij evgb gvbe nq hvI Avi mevB ZvB-B nQ| evgb gvbe fi MQ GB kni| Ggb fyjfve Mo IVv knii fwelr wK? bv, GB fyj kniK w`q `kK Pbv hve bv| hw`I mB PvB Kiv nQ me gnj _K| XvKv hb `ki cwZwe^ G K_vB ejZ PvBQ mejv miKvi; AZGe `vLv Avgv`i KZ DbwZ nQ GZ AvwjKv, myig cvmv`, wcPXvjv wekvj me ivRc_, AwjMwjZ evsK-nvmcvZvj-zj-KjRBDwbfvwmwU| Avgiv KZ DbwZ KiwQ, `vLv| bv, GB wP mviv`ki bq| Avi mUv hw` nqB _vK Zvnj Zv GUvI gvbZ nq h, mviv`k GB knii Abvb AbylI Qwoq coQ `ybxwZ, AmZZv, mvm, wewQbZv, ^v_ciZv, ewme^Zv me| bv, Zv nZ cvi bv| evevi K_v gb njv Avevi Mvg `vLv, `kK wPbZ cvie| AZGe Mvg hZB ne|

10 GZw`b nq Mjv Ab `k wdiQ A_P AvRI D`vmcyi hvIqv njv bv GKUz A^vfvweK hb welqwU| hvi gyL mvivY D`vmcyi, A_P mLvb hvIqvi bvg KiQ bv `yUv evcvi gjvbv hvq bv| cvqB m D`vmcyi hvIqvi K_v fve, wK hvIqv Avi nQ Kv_vq? Ze wK m-I GB knii NivUvc AvUKv co Mjv? XvKv Zvi fvjv jvMQ bvG Avgvi wbRi kni gb KiZ PvBjI cviQ bv wKQyZB, gvwbq wbZ cviQ bv GB knii engvb emg AvZci RbRxebi m| cvqB cevm Rxebi m Zzjbv Gm hvQ mLvbI Zv cwiekUv GgbB wQjv KD Kviv bq, mevB wbRK wbq e| Abi cwiwPZ Mw LyeB QvU, mLvb Avevi Kvbv nvm-KZzK bB, elwqK D`vmxbZv bB, wKsev bB Kvbv wKQy wbq mgw^Z cPvi wP| mgM RbRxebi m Zvi mK bB, bZzb Ki mK vcb Kivi mvebvI xY, ZvB m GB kniiB AviKwU ic Pb bv| h Rxebi Rb Zvi Zv mvdji Rb wekx cwZhvwMZvq wj K~wUj gvbyli Rxeb I RMr _K GKUzLvwb njI gyL wdwiq Rxebi egvwK Avb` kwiK nIqv, GKUz Avv, nvmKZzK, RvQbv ev ewZ fRvi Zzgyj Avb` mB Rxeb Zvi aiv Quvqvi evBiB iq hvQ| cwZw`b mKvj `wbK cwKvq `Lv I cov GB knii exfrm ic ZvK fq cvBq w`Q| m hb me RvqMvZB am `LZ cvQ ivRbxwZ Zv cPB MQ, m MQ A_bxwZ, mswZ PPv GmeI| wbRi kni ej fveZ PvBjI m Kxfve Gme gb bq! gb Zv nq GmeB Ab Kviv, Zvi bq| Zey Zv GB kni Qo hvIqv nQbv Kv_vI| Zvi gvS gvS fq nq D`vmcyii gvbyl I Zv`i fvlvI wK APbv nq MQ Zvi KvQ? m wK wVK wVK wPb wbZ cvie D`vmcyii gvbyli DPvwiZ I Aby kvejx GB GZw`b ci! Abi Lye fq bvbviKg fq| D`vmcyi hw` mwZB APbv jvM Zvi KvQ, hw` gb nq XvKvi gZv D`vmcyiI ZvK MnY KiQ bv, hw` ILvbI wbRK ewnivMZ ej gb nq, Zvnj wK ne? m ZLb `uvove Kv_vq? GZw`b ai m D`vmcyii wZ I ^c eyK Ki eovQ IB Mvg Zvi KvQ gvqi Kvji gZvB ggZvgqx| cw_exi Avi Kv_vI bv nvK, D`vmcyi ZvK ckvwi Avkq `e, Rxebi kl gyn~Z njI m ILvb wdi hve, gi hve
AvMK
38

AvMK 11

D`vmcyii AvKvk Avi b`xi Mfxi D`vmxbZvi ga Avi gvbyli ggZv I fvjvevmv cq, Zvici wPiKvj q _vKe gv-evev-`v`v-`v`yi cvk GB me fvebv I ^c I Kbv hw` IjvUcvjvU nq hvq m Zv Zvnj mviv Rxebi Rb Dv nq hve! Avi ZvQvov klevii gZv m hLb D`vmcyi wMqwQj, ZLbv gv wQjb| GLb wZwb bB, evev Zv AvMB MQb AvcbRb ejZ `~i mKi IB dzcy| wbqB evwoi Pnviv AbK cv MQ mB cv hvIqv PnvivB ev KZUzKz gb bqv hve? kvv hw`I Lye hvIqvi K_v ej Ab Zey wmv wbZ cviwb| hvIqvUv wK wVK ne? wK kl ch bv wMqI _vKv Mjv bv| hLb me wKQyi Pq, me mgqi Rb D`vmcyii wZUvB wekvj nq IV, ZLb bv wMq Avi Dcvq wK? Awdmi Riix wgwUs Pjvi mgq D`vmcyii gVv c_ PvLi mvgb fm DVj, wKsev ivZ kvvi gay eyK VuvU Wyweq evwoi cyKzi Suvwcq covi `kwU nvwRi nj, wKsev K_v bB evZv bB D`vmcyii b`x-AvKvk-gvV-gVvc_-avbZ ev msLvnxb gvbyli gyL Zvi `bw`b wbic`c mgqjvK ZQbQ Ki w`j kvvi AevnZ DrmvnI GKwU KviY eU m hvIqviB wmv bq| Avi ZvZ evbiv bZzb Ki wPvq cobZzb eD wbq hvwQm, ILvb K `Le? wK Ab Gme welq wekl iZ w`Q bv `L eo AvcvK dzcyi KvQ ay wPwV wjLB m _vKZ njv| D`vmcyi, gvwbKM kni _K cvq wek wKjvwgUvi fZi| kvv `yPvievi kni Zvi `v`v evwoZ GjI GZ fZi hvqwb KLbv| Abi KvQ msLvnxb M b, Zey, D`vmcyi Zvi KvQ GK AwZcwiwPZ ^ci gZv hvK m Kvbvw`b eve `Lwb, A_P Lye Pbv| D`vmcyi Kxfve hvIqv hvq, G wbq wPv wQjv MZ GK hyM hvMvhvM eevi Av` Kvbv cwieZb nqQ Kx bv, K Rvb? Ab ZvB Mvwo wbq hvevi K_v wPvB Kiwb| kvvK ejQAvM hfve hZvg, mfveB hvev, ivwR? kvv ivwR| Zvi KvQ hvIqvUvB eo K_v| AZtci MveZjx _K evm Po, c_ MvUv wekK cR _g, Kvw Z-weiwZ-Nvg-Mig GKvKvi nq `oNvi c_ mvo wZbNvq cvwo w`q Zviv hLvb Gm _vgjv, kvv RvqMvUvi bvg eevi webv`b-cwKvq coQ wSUKv| Ggb Avnvgwi wKQy bq, Zey wmbgvi jvKiv Kb GUvK jvKkb wnme eQ wbqQ K Rvb ? wK Gme fvevi mgq GLb bq| eis ew`b ci hb KqK hyM ev KqK kZvw ci wbR Mvgi c_ wdi Avmv AbK
AvMK 11

j Kiv `iKvi| m hb GB gyn~Z GKUz wavhy A_ev Abgb| evm _K bg kvvK wbq Ab hLvb Gm `uvwoqQ, Zvi mvgb evanq GKUv b`x| GB b`x wbqB hw` Ab GZUv gvZvgvwZ Ki _vK Zvnj, kvvi Avkvf nQ| KvwjMvI Zv Gi Pq eo| wKQyY PzcPvc `uvwoq _K Ab g`y^iAvM GLvb AbK bKv wfo _vKZv, GLb GZ Kg, KvDK Zv wPbZI cviwQ bv ejj kvv eySZ cvi, Ab evwo cuQvbvi eev wbq wPwZ| dzcy wK KvDK cvwVqQb Kx bv, Zv-I evSv hvQ bv| bv wK Ab Kvbv iU hvIqv DwPZ wQjv? MveZjx _K evwjiUK ev nwiivgcyii evmI QvoZ `LQ Ab| AvM GiKg Kvbv iU wQjv bv GB GKwUB wQjv, ZvB GUvB Zvi Pbv| Avi ZvQvov, m wRm Ki RbQ IB evmjv _vg cvUMvg zji KvQ ILvb _K evwo cvq 4/5 wKjvwgUvi `~i| hw` IB c_UzKz nuvUZ nq Zvnj kvvi Aev Lvivc nq hve| GLb wiKkv-wUKkv Pj Kx bv K Rvb, wK m hLb GB zj coZv, evwo _K cwZw`b nuUB AvmZ nZv| Ab Kvbv eevB wQjv bv| m ZvB wSUKv nq b`xc_ evwo hvIqvi K_vB feQ| wK NvU bKv gv `y-wZbU AvM GLvb kLvbK bKv wfo _vKZv| Pbv KvDK `LvI hvQ bv, m ZvB GKUz wPwZ nq coQ| wK nVvr GKUv 20/22 eQii hyeK cvq `o Gm Abi cv Quyq mvjvg Kij Zvi AbgbZv KU hvq| fvBRvb Avcb? Gwb ci! evwoZ hvBeb? nuv, n| wK hvev wKfve, gvb hvgy Kgb? kvv fxlY gRv cvq| AyZ Zv! Ab GKBm `y-iKgfve ejQ| Avgvi bvIq Avmb| Zzwg bKv PvjvI, bvI evI bvwK? n, evRvbi KvgWvB aiwQ| Ab fxlY mgmvq co| GB QjwUK m wPbZ cviQ bv| wK hfve evRvbi K_v Gm Mjv, ZvZ gb nQ PbvUv LyeB DwPZ wQjv| m Avi Kvbv K_v bv ej QjwUi wcQy wcQy Ges kvvi AvM AvM bKvq wMq IV| Ges DVI Kvbv K_v bv ejj QjwU nVvr eywgvi cwiPq `q fvBRvb gb Aq Avgvi wPbb bvB| Ab g`y nvm| Avwg AvBqye Avwj|
AvMK
39

Ab `Z wZ nvZovq| AvBqye Avwj| hvi evci ckv bKv Pvjvbv| Ges AwPiB gb co, QjwU Rwni gvjvi (jvK hvK SBiv gyjv ej WvKZv) mvb| GZY m DQwmZ nq IV| ZzB KZ eo nq MwQm, Wvi ABQm i AvBqye! n fvBRvb| Kwb ci `LZvQb| Wvi Zv jvMevB| PvPv Kgyb AvQi AvBqye? Zvi gvq? nvmbv, ixbv, wjwj, bIqve Avwj? fvBRvbi `wn meZi gb AvQ| nvmbv ixbv wjwji weqv IBqv MQ| bIqve Avwji AmyLUv mvi bvB| evRvbI weQbvq cov| AmyL| Abi wK GKUz gb Lvivc jvMQ? meZ| Rwni PvPv wQjv Zv`i euvav gvwS| hZ KvRB _vKzK, Lei cj wVKVvK nvwRi nq hZ| GK hyM AvMI G Aji hvMvhvM eev wQjv RNb bKvB wQjv GKgv evnb| evev eQi 4/5 evi KLbv XvKvi Dk, KLbv bvbyevwoi Dk mevBK wbq bKvq Po emZb| XvKvq hZ nj AvmZ nZv wSUKvq, mLvb _K Nvovi MvwoZ eD_v, Zvici KvwjMv cvi nq gvwbKM kni _K XvKvi evm| Avevi wSUKv bv Gm, evwbqvRywo ch bKvq wMq, mLvb _KI evm IVv hZ| evevi cQ` wQjv wZxqUvB meZ Nvovi MvwoZ Povi Sw cQ` KiZb bv ej| Aek Abi fvwi fvjv jvMZv, AZ Nvovi `ovbvi k UK UK UKi UKi...GLbv hb Kvb evR| Avevi bvby evwoZ hZ nj mivmwi bvwikv, mLvb _K nuU IB evwoZ| bvbyevwoZ hvIqvi K_v Abi Lye gb co| GB bKv gY wQjv Drmei gZv GKUv evcvi| fviejv bKvq DVj hZ hZ mv nq hZ, H GK bKvq GZY PzcPvc em _vKv Qvov Dcvq bB| h gY Lye weiwKi nIqvi K_v wQjv evev, gv, Rwni PvPv wgj mUvKB Lye DcfvM Ki ZzjZb| gv evwo _K Wvj-fvZ iua wbq hZb, wK ZiKvwi wbZb bv| Rwni PvPvK ejZbfumvj `Lj _vgvBI Rwni| AZtci Rwni PvPv hZ hZ gvQ aiZ _vKv Rj`i Dk nuvK QvoZvwK gvQ?ov| bvn njv bv, Avevi| Avevi| Bwjk gvQ cj K_vB wQjv bv| Rwni PvPv bKvi Lvj _K gvwUi AvjMv Pzjv, cvwZj, cuqvR, gwiP, Zj BZvw` ei KiZv| gv bKvq emB ivbvi KvR jM hZb| M g g KiZv Pvicvk| gv-i ivbv XjXj Svji ZvRv Bwjki ^v` AvRv hb gyL jM AvQ IUvi Kvbv Zzjbv AvR ch Kv_vI LuyR cvqwb Ab| ivbvi mgq Rwni PvPv myweav gZv RvqMvq bKv fovZv| Zviv fvBevb wgj SuvcvSuvwc Ki Mvmj KiZv, Zvici H LvIqv|
AvMK 11

Avn, Agb Lvevi Avi Kv_vq cvIqv hve? LvIqv kl nj cvb wbq emZb gv-evev| evbiv wMq gvK aiZvgv LvKvK GKUz cvb LvIqvB?bv wRnv fvwi nq hve|GKUz gv, GKUz| gv ZLb GKUz cvb, GKUz Ki mycvwi, Pzb Avi Li gL w`Zb| Ab gyL w`Z bv w`Z im gyL fi hZ, wcK djZ wMq Mwoq kvU coZv, Zv Ime AZv Lqvj Kie K? evbiv ZLb Zvi jvj nq hvIqv VuvU `Lvq gnve`wL `wL LvKvfvB, Zvi VuvU `wL ejj Avi Ab B B Ki `uvZ `wLq w`j evbiv nmB KzwUcvwU I gv `vLv `vLv, I Avev `vLvB bv Avgv`i jvj fvBqi VuvU KZ jvj nqQ| `vLv bv! Avn, mBme w`b! mB `kvejx Kv_vI hb wi nq Szj AvQ, Kvbv Kzkjx wkxi AvuKv wiqvwjwK Qwei gZv bBj Ab mewKQy GZ fve `vL wKfve? GZw`b AvMi NUbv, Ggbfve Zvi PvL fvm Kb, Zvi PvL wfwRq Zvj Kb? kvvi k ZvK eZgvb divq| Ii PvL ck| meZ AvBqye Avwji mvgb wKQy wRm KiZ Pvq bv ej Pzc Ki _vK| Ab g`y nvm, Zvici AvBqye Avwji m M gvZ Avevi| Kzbw`K ` hvwe i AvBqye? c_g c_g Amyweav njI GZY D`vmcyii fvlvq wdi AvmZ ciQ ej ^w eva Ki Ab| cv ` hvB| Kb, gyjvi Lvj ` MjB Aq| cv ` Mj Kg AvUZ ABev| bvI Zv evwo ch hvBev bv| cvi cvoB wfovgy, evwoi KvQB| gyjvi Lvj ` Mj AbK`~i bvgZ ABev| cv ` MjI Zv AbK AvUZ ABev| bv fvBRvb, Avcb AbK w`b Avmb bvB Zv, ZvB `nb bvB, cv fvBv AbK`~i AvBQ| Kzgvi cvov ai ai| Km wK? n, fvBRvb| gvbyli `ytL Pvn `vnb hvq bv| Zq h bwQjvg eva w`qv fvOb wdivBev? nB KZv Avi KBqb bv fvBRvb| fvU AvBj Xvnv _ gx-wgwbvi AvBmv GB me KZv bvq, fvU Mj Mv Avi GB w`K cvI evovq bv| kvv G me K_vevZvi LB cvq bv, wK Abi Awfew `L eySZ cvi cv-fvObi evcviwU Lye wechqKi, bBj m Ggb Mxi nq DVe
AvMK
40

Kb? K_v ejvi myhvM LuyRjI kvvi c me nQ bv GBme AvjvPbvq AskMnY Kiv| A_P GB b`x, GB dzidzi nvIqvi fZi ^ci gZv GK hyeKi m bKvq Po APbv Mei w`K Pjvi gZv P~ov ivgvwUKZv ZvK DcfvM KiZ nQ GKv GKv Abi m K_vevZv QvovB| G wK fvev hvq? Giv cvq APbv GK wewP fvlvq kvv wbR gvwbKMi gq njI GB fvlvi m Zvi cwiPq bB, `v`vevwoZ m eivei GmQ AwZw_i gZv, eovZ K_v ej hvQ Zv ejB hvQ| GB Aev KZY Pje K Rvb? bvn, GiKg PjZ `qv hvq bv| kvv ZvB wRm KiB dj GvB, GB b`xUvi bvg wK? AbKY ci Ab kvvi w`K bRi `q| gb nq, GB c_g eD hvQ Zvi ki evwoZ me wKQyi m GKUz cwiPq Kwiq `qv `iKvi| GUv nQ BQvgwZ, eySQ! GB mvRvmywR Mj cvq coev, Zvici wKQy`~i Mj Avevi BQvgwZ| eySjvg bv, GK b`xi ga AviK b`x! nuv, BQvgwZ fvM nq MQ| AvM GKUvB wQjv| Avgv`i evwoi KvQ Di-`wY eq Zvici cwgw`K BD Uvb wbq Avevi Di-`wY eq hZ| Avgiv GLb mB cii Ask AvwQ| cwgi BD UvwbsUv cvi m wgj MQ| cv wQjv AbK `~i, fO fO Gm wgkQ BQvgwZi m, eySQ? kvvi Rb mgqwU wbqB Lye PgrKZ nevi, bBj GKwU b`xi MwZc_i GB mvgvb eYbvq Zvi gb ne Kb GB jvKi wK ARvbv wKQyB bB? kvvi gyZv AbK Quyq hZ bv hZ GKUz `~i BQvgwZi gyL `Lv hvq, cvi Dvj-Dvg XD PvL co| kvvi KZnjx PvL GLb wevwiZ| Avgiv ILvb w`q hvev? nuv, IUvB cv| bv bv, Zzwg IK bv Ki| ILvb w`q Avwg hZ cviev bv| AvBqye Avwj `uvZ Kwjq nvm wKQy ABev bv fvexmve, Gi PvBZ eo eo XDZ fvBRvb KZ muvZivBQ, Avcb Zv mjvb `LbB bvB| kvv Zzwg mwZ GiKg XDZ muvZvi KvUZ? Avh! hw` Wye hZ! ej g`y-wgw KUv Kij Abi eyK Ryo cvi Vvv nvIqv eq hvq| Avn, GB b`x! KZ h wZ, KZ h Avb` I e`bv GB b`xK wbq! hb Anxb GK Mi Drm GB b`x| A_P Zvi Rxeb h IZcvZfve mswk wQjv GB b`xi m, Zv-Zv bq! Kej KqKUv eQi KvQvKvwQ _vKv, cej mvZ Avi
AvMK 11

XDqi ga Suvwcq cov, Nvi ci Nv muvZvi KU jvj UzKUzK PvL wbq evwo wdi gv-i eKv LvIqv, Avi kxZi kv cvq m~h Wye Mj Avexi gvLvbv GK AyZ D`vmxbZv Mvq gvwLq ^cKvZi nq IVv| A_P gb nq, ARm M Rwoq AvQ GB b`xK wbq| Ab wbwbgl ZvwKq hb wbRi kkeKkviKB `LZ cvq| IB Zv bKvq Ki Zviv hvQ bvbyevwoZ, evbiv Rvi Ki cvb LvBq Zvi jvj VuvU `LZ PvQ Avi m B B Ki Qv `uvZ `wLq w`Q, evbiv wPrKvi Ki I gv `vLv Avgv`i jvj fvBqi VuvUUvI Kgb jvj nqQ ejj gv I evevi gyL ni nvwmZ wm nq DVQ| Avn! mBme w`b| Kvbvw`b wdie bv mB mgq! mgq eov wbzi wbqwZ, hvevi mgq m Ki wbq hvq me hv wKQy cvq nvZi KvQ, Avi wdwiq `q bv| Kx UvwRK GB gvbe Rxeb! hvi Mf Avgvi Rb, hvi Kvj Avgvi eo nq IVv, hvi nvZ ai cw_exi c_ bvgv c_gevii gZv Zv`iK gvwUi wbP iL Gm AvgvK Rxeb hvcb KiZ nq| Ab nqZv Kuv`wQj, gb gb, wKsev cKvkI `y-Pvi duvUv Ak Si _vKe nqZv kvvi k ZvB Mfxi ggZv Si co| mgqwU K_v ejvi bq kvv evS| Abi PvL fRv wbqB gb coQ mewKQy! kvv Kvbv K_v bv ej, jv Dcv Ki Abi Kuva gv_v iL em _vK| GZ XD! bKvUv gvMZ IVvbvgv KiQ, Kx h fqi evcvi! wK Ab ev AvBqye Avwj KD welqwUK cvvB w`Q bv| fqUv Aek `xNvqx nevi myhvM cvq bv| AwPiB AvBqye Avwj bKv fovq| GLvb BQvgwZ Kbv, fivU nq MQ b`x, GLb Avi elv Qvov cvwb _vK bv, dj bKv wbq evwo ch hvIqvi Dcvq bB| bvgZ ne GLvbB| Ab Gevi AvM kvvK bvgZ w`q ci wbR bg co| GB Zvi D`vmcyi| eyK fi wbtkvm wbqI Zvi mva gU bv| wK GZ APbv jvMQ Kb mewKQy? Zvi GZ Pbv Mvg, BQvgwZ, cvi cvo, AvKvk I emg~n mewKQyZ Kb Ggb APbvi ayjv coQ? Abi gb Lvivc nq hvqZe wK D`vmcyi _KI AbK `~i mi MwQ Avwg? h fqUv cvwQjvg, Zv wK mwZ nZ PjQ? GB Rbf~wgZI wK wbRK ewnivMZ ej gb ne Avgvi? AvBqye Avwj evMc wbq nuvUZ i Kij Ab Avi kvv ZvK AbymiY Ki| Abi KvQ c_Uv GLb GKUz cwiwPZ jvMQ| wK c_i `y-cvk AmsL evwoNi m hLb Mvg QowQj, ZLb Gjv wQjv bv| Ab eySZ cvi Giv me cv-fvOv cwievi| QvUejv _KB m Gme `Lb AvmQ|
AvMK
41

mebvkv meMvmx cv cwZeQiB AmsL evwoNi fO wbq hvq| Amnvq wbivkq gvbylMyjv me nvwiq KvbvgZ gv_v MuvRvi VuvBUzKz Ki bq Ab Kvbv Mvg| IB UzKzB| evwo-Ni-Rwg-Rgv me b`xMf, nqZv nvji MiUv wew Ki gv_v MuvRvi Rb GB RwgUzKz wKbQ| gvUvgywU ^Qj GKwU Pvlx cwievi GLb nqZv wVK gZv LZB cvq bv| evwo bB h `y-PviU djg~j ev ZwiZiKvwi djve, Rwg bB h Pvl Kie| Avi AmsL cwievi me nvwiq bZzb Avkqi LuvR Ab Mvg Gm PovI nq ej mme Mvgi jvKmsLv eo Amnbxq chvq cQ; KvRi Zzjbvq gvbyl ewk ej mg KgV bvix cyilivI eKvi em _vK| Mvgi Pnviv e`j hvq `ytmn `vwi`, AmnvqZ, Avi KgnxbZvq auyKZ _vK mg Aj| G GK AKbxq fqven Aev| hviv Gi wkKvi bq Zviv KbvI KiZ cvie bv AevUv| G Aji gx, Ggwciv GUv DcjwB KiZ cvi bv, ZvB mvgvb GKwU eva w`q mvZi gyLUv wdwiq w`q G GjvKvi nvRvi nvRvi gvbyli `xNw`bi GKwU mgmvi mgvavb Kivi K_v Zv`i gbI _vK bv| `v`vi K_v gb njv Abi| Zuvi wZ Aek a~mi Gme NUbv m jvKgyL bQ wekl Ki kvvi `v`vi KvQ| 1947-Gi `kfvM `k RyoB GK fqsKi cwiwwZ Zwi KiwQj| wbivcvnxbZvi RbB nvK wKsevGB `k Avgv`i bq GB wPv _KB nvK, `j `j wn`yiv `kZvM KiwQj| `v`v bvwK ZLb GB Aji wn`y`i evwo evwo wMq Afq w`ZbZvgiv hI bv, Avwg Zv AvwQ, Avwg euP _vKZ Zvgv`i GZUzKz wZ nZ `ev bv| `v`v wQjb cfvekvjx Avi mKji KvQ kvfvRb ew, Zuvi AfqevYx KvR jMwQj, dj GB Aj wn`y`i `kZvMi NUbv AZ `v`v euP _vKZ NUwb ejjB Pj| H mgq wn`yiv Pj Mj Zv`i evwoNi `Lj Ki bqvi avvq wQjv h me jvK, Zviv wK `v`vi Ici ek bvLvkB nqwQj| `v`vi KvQ bvwK KwZcq jvK `vweI wbq GmwQj Ryi hviv hvBZ Pvq, ZvMv hvBZ `vb bv! IMv gbi g` Lvwj wn`yvb, Zq Aiv BwqvqB hvK Mv| `v`v ejwQjbKvbv gvbyli Ici G iKg Ryjyg Zvgiv Kiv bv| GKRb gvbyl hLb Zvi `k Qo hvq, Rbf~wg Qo hvq m wK Kej GK UzKiv Rwg ev GKwU evwo Qo hvq? `k Zv ay GKL gvwU bq, GB h Giv Pj hvQ, ay wK Ni-evwo-Rwg-Rgv dj hvQ? GKB m dj hvQ Rb-Rbvii wZ I mK| ILvb wMq Iiv mnvqAvMK 11

mw hw` cvqI, Gjv cve Kv_vq? G `k Zv ay gymjgvb`i bq GUv I`iI `k| I`iK wbfq wbRi `k _vKZ `vI| GB GLb AmsL b`xfvOv cwievii QvU QvU Nijv `L Abi gb njv G`i I wK `v`vi K_vjv LvU bv? h evwoZ G`i Rb I eo nq IVv, h evwoi cwZwU a~wjKYvi m G`i AvRb cwiPq I mL mB evwo fO wbq MQ cv, mLvb GLb Kej _ _ cvwb, evwoi wP gv bB| kZ gv_v K~UjI mB RvqMvwU GgbwK PvL `LvI me bq| GivI ay evwo ev Rwg nvivqwb nvwiqQ wZ, mK I kKo| QvUejv _K `LjI Ab hb GB c_gevii gZv G`i `ytmn e`bvi evcviwUK Dcjw KiZ cvijv| Abi gbUv Lvivc nwQj gvMZ| D`vmcyii Pnviv Zv Ggb wQjv bv| BQvgwZi `yB cvo wQjv k~b Lv Lv k~bZvi fZi GKwU GKvKx b`x Aweivg eq PjQ GB Amvgvb `kwUB m gb Mu_ iLwQj| Rxeb hZevi hZRbi KvQ m BQvgwZi K_v ejQ, GB eYbvwUB eenvi KiQ GgbwK kvvi KvQI| GLb kvvK wK evSvbv hve Lv Lv k~bZvi fZi engvb GB b`xwUi Pnviv hLvb m wbRB `LZ cvQ GK gZ b`xi `yB cvk ARm `wi` Ni`vi? evwoi c_ GLb Avi ewk`~i nuvUZ ne bv AvBqye Avwj wVKB ejQ| Abi AevK jvM| GK hyM AvM cv wQjv 10/12 wKjvwgUvi `~i, GLb GK wKjvwgUviI ne bv| cvi G wK meMvmx ic! KZ evwo h fO MQ, KZ gvbyl h Avkqnxb nq coQ! cwiwPZ mB gvbyljv GLb Kv_vq AvQ, Kgb AvQ K Rvb!

AvMK

42

11 GKUv euvK NyiZB wbR`i evwo PvL co, Avi Avg~j Kuc IV Ab| GB Zvi kKo| GB evwoZ Zvi Rb nqwQj, GB evwoZB m eo DVQ| kke, Kkvi Avi ZviYi c_g jMi mva I ^c wgk AvQ G evwoi ciZ ciZ| lvjwU eQi! Kg mgq bq Zv! Ges, Rxebi gayiZg mgq AekB| Ab AvjZv Ki kvvi nvZ ai ejIB h evwo| kvvI wK Kuc IV GKevi? h evwo m^ m BZvgaB nvRviLvbK M b djQ, c_gevii gZv mUvK PvLi mvgb `L GKUv AyZ AmsvwqZ Abyf~wZ nq Zvi| M kvbv eYbvi m `kgvb eveZv gjvZ Pv Ki m| evwoUv wekvj ejB gb nQ; evwoi Di I `wY Aviv `yUv eo evwo _vKvi K_v Wvvi evwo I PvPvi evwo| wK h evwojv `Lv hvQ mjv cvq fvOvPvivRivRxY| cwg GKUz `~i Lv Lv k~bZv I BQvgwZ _vKvi K_v, wK Iw`KI `Lv hvQ QvU QvU `wi` Ni`vi, BQvgwZi bvgM bB, ay cyew`K wexY gvV cwiq cavb moKwU wVK AvQ| AvM kvbv eYbvi m evei GB wgjAwgji evLv Zvi Rvbv bB| nqZv G evwojv bZzb, AvM wbqB wQjv bv, _vKj Zv Ab ejZvB| wK Gme fveevi mgq GUv bq| Ab A^vfvweK iKg PzcPvc nq AvQ| weqi ci _K ZvK GZUv Mxi KLbv `Lwb kvv| GUvB nqZv ^vfvweK| Lye DQj nq DVj wK mUv gvbvbmB nZv, hLvb div nQ cvq GKhyM ci, Avi NU MQ GKKwU wRwbmi Avg~j cwieZb! AwPiB c_ kl nq| Zviv wMq evwoi mxgvbvq cv ivL| c_gB GKUv gmwR`, Zvici Keivb| QqwU euvavbv Kei cwicvwU nq cvkvcvwk q AvQ| kvv Gi GKwUI Pb bv| Ab cuvPwU AvMB `LQ `v`vi gv I evev, `v`y I `v`v, AviKUv evevi Kei| kliUv gv-i wbtm`n| Ab GwMq hvq, GKUz _gK `uvovq, Zvici GKUvi ci GKUv Kei Quyq mvjvg Ki| `Lv`wL kvvI| GKUv Kei Quyq ZvK `xNY em _vKZ `L kvvI wMq em co| Abi PvL wfR cvwb Mwoq coQ, Av Ki, cvq kvbv hvq bv Ggbfve m Kej ejZ cvijvAvgvi gv| kvv AbK KLbv Gfve Kuv`Z `Lwb, mnmv ZvB eyS DVZ cvi bv, Zvi wK Kiv DwPZ| Abi nvZ ai m Kej ejGmv| wK IK m Kv_vq wbq hve? G evwoZ m bZzb AwZw_, ZvKB Zv eiY Ki bevi K_v, wK K-B ev Zv Kie? evb`i Ici ivM njv kvvi, Zv`i AZ GKRbi wK Avmv DwPZ wQjv bv? m Zv wKQyB
AvMK 11

Pb bv, GLb m KiUv wK? AvBqye AvwjKI `Lv hvQ bv, Dv Pvicvk wKQy APbv gvbyl wfo RgvQ| Ab Aek mPZb nq AwPiB kvvK wbq nuvUZ i Ki| evwoUv mwZB AbK eo Gevi evSv hvQ| gmwR`Keivb cwiq AviKUz mvgb GMvj GKUv Ni| Zvici AbKLvwb Lvwj RvqMv cwiq RxY evDvwi `Lv hvQ| Ab eDK wbq mUv cvi nj kvvi weq Aviv evo| evDvwii evBiUv Zvnj Avmj evwo bq! fZi Aviv AbKUv RvqMv Ryo DVvb, Zvici wZbU eo, GKUv QvU Ni| GK mgq G evwoZ cvY wQjv AvqvRb `LjB evSv hvq| GLb G Ni`vi gZ, ayjvgwjbZv `LB evSv hvQ| mePq eov NiwUi `iRv ai GK ev `uvovbv, meZ nuvUvi gZv bB, `uvovZI K nQ| Ab wMq Zvi cv Quyq mvjvg Ki Kgb AvQb dzcy? Abi `Lv`wL kvvI mvjvg Ki DV `uvovj ev nvZ evwoq ZvK Rwoq aib| Ab g`y^iAvcbvi eD gv ej cwiPq Kwiq `evi Pv Kij, Avi wZwb m K_vq Kvb bv w`q kvvKAvgvi AbK Zzwg wdwiq GbQv gv, ZzwgB wdwiq GbQ, GZw`bI evwoi K_v Ii gb cowb ejZ _vKj kvv msKvP Romo nq hvq| Avi KD bv RvbyK, m Zv Rvb GB evwoi K_v Abi gb co Kx bv, GB evwo Ii KZLvwb Ryo AvQ! dzcy kvvi nvZ ai Ni wbq wMq emvb| weKj nq GmQ| iv`i ZxeZv Kg wMq Gi njy` iO Kgjv nq AvmQ axi axi| wKQyYi gaB wK bvge mB weLvZ mv, hvi K_v kvv BwZgaB KqKk evi b djQ Abi KvQ? wK mvi e`j DVvb Ryo gvbyli Xj bvg| kvv c_g NUbvUv eyS DVZ cvi bv| wSUKv _K G ch cyiv cwiwwZUv Zvi cwZK~j| Ab Zv wVKgZv K_vB ejQ bv| GB GLb hgb, e fe ZvK ei KiZ njv GZjv gvbyl GmQ ay Zv`iK `LZ! Kx AyZ welq! GZKvj m `v`vi KvQ G evwoi M b GmQ cvq wKse`wi gZv; mme K_vi A_ kvv GLb eySZ cviQ| eySZ cviQ GKRb gvbyl KZUv iZc~Y nj ZvK `LZ RbZvi Xj bvg! A_P Zvi ^vgxwU wbZvB mvaviY RxebhvcbKvix gvbyl Kvbv ivRbwZK bZv bq, Ggwc ev gx bq, Kvbv wdjvi ev wb`bc weLvZ Kvbv LjvqvoI bq| Zvi kixi wK Ze GB cwievii HwZni wP AvuKv AvQ, Avi gvbyl GmQ mUvB LuyR wbZ? bBj GZ wfo ne Kb? ay kvvB Kb, AbKI GKUz wev gb nQ| GKevi
AvMK
43

ay g`y^i, meZ kvvK kvbvbvi RbB, ZvK ejZ kvbv MQ gykwKj cojvg Zv! G`i KvDKB Zv wPbZ cviwQ bv| `LZ Avmv jvKRbi AwaKvskB GKUz `~i `uvwoq| evPv _K e bvbv iKgi gvbyl md `uvwoq AvQ| Kx weeZKi! `y-PviRb Giv meZ c~e cwiwPZ Gm, evevwR fvjv AvQb Zv fvBRvb Kwb ci AvBjb GB aibi evK gvjvqgfve Qo w`Q| gvS gvS AwZ Drmvnx wKQy hyeKGB Zzgiv hvI Zv Gnvb _, fvBRvb i Gz wbtkvm wbevi `vI, hvI hvI ci AvBmv ej jvKRbK nwUq w`q wbRivB KvQ Gm `uvovQ| wbtkvm Avi bqv hvQ bv| kvv nuvwcq IV GZjv gvbyl nv Ki ZvwKq AvQ, gvS gvS Zv`i wdmwdmvwbI kvbv hvQeDWv Gi cixi gZv my`yi i GB `ywemn Aev _K wK cwivYi Kvbv DcvqB bB? KD wK bB, h ZvK GZjv KZ~njx PvLi mvgb _K `~i wbq hve Ab _vKzK Zvi Mvgi gvbyl wbq| AbK `~i Aek dzcyi wgqgvY K^i kvbv hvQGB Zviv GKUz mi hv bv, eDUv bZzb Gjv, GKUz wekvg wbZ `| wK K kvb Kvi K_v? gyiwe MvQi wKQy jvK Aek dzcyi AevnZ eKzwbZ Zrci nj wfo wKQyUv Kg| Avi evevwR nB D`vmcyi Avi bvB, cv fvOywb jvK ` fBiv MQ ejj Ab eySZ cvi, GB jvKjvK Kb GZ APbv jvMQ| Giv wbqB `~i Kvbv Mvgi jvK wQjv, GK hyM AvM `Lv mvvrI wbqB Kg nZv! GiKg mwZB wQjv bv D`vmcyii Pnviv| nvo wRiwRi AmsL gvbyl, zav-`vwi` Avi ivM-kvK Kv GZ gyL AvM KbvB Kiv hZ bv| mB ^Qj-myLx RbMvx wK nvwiq MQ GB Mvg _K? bvwK AvMI gvbyl GiKgB Kv I weeY wQjv, wK ZviB `Lvi PvL wQjv bv? wKsev, kke-Kkvii wZjv meZ cZviYvgq Mvwb I e`bvi AskUzKz h_vme So dj, Avb` I cvwi AskUzKz Rgv Ki ivL| nqZv GRbB G Mvgi gvbyljvi myLx I ^Q` AskUzKz m gb iLQ AbwKQy bq| elvi mgq 3/4 gvm G Aji gvbyl`i Kvbv KvR _vK bv; Kej cuyw_cvVi Avmi, gvQ aiv Avi AvqvRb Ki QvjvfvRv LvIqv Qvov GB K_vwU kvvK ejvZ I ck KiwQjZvnj Zv`i w`b Pj Kxfve? Mvgi gvbyl`i wK GZ mq _vK h, 3/4 gvm KvR bv KijI Zv`i LvIqv-civi Kvbv Amyweav ne bv? Ab GB ck PgK DVwQj| mwZB Zv! m Kej Mvgi gvbyl`i Avb`i AskUzKz `LQ Zv`i evwoZ nuvwo PoQ Kx bv m Lei Zv ivLwb KLbv| AvR GZw`b ci Abi gb njv D`vmcyii h AmvaviY
AvMK 11

icwU m gbi ga Mu_ iLwQj Zvi ga eveZvi fvM mvgvbB, KbvB ewk| gvbyli Kvw, zav, `vwi`, civRq Avi nZvkvi K_v m RvbZB Pvqwb Kvbvw`b| m`n bB, cvi fvObi dj evnviv gvbyli Pvc D`vmcyii Aev Aviv Lvivc nqQ dmwj Rwg Kg MQ, NbemwZ Zwi nqQ, KvR Kivi myhvM evowb; wK Zvi gbi ga Mov D`vmcyii ^ci g~wZ nqZv AvMI Agb ^ci gZv wQjv bv| eq`i ZrciZvq Avkcvki jvKRb GKUz KgQ ej gb nQ| wK evwoi evBi njv nQ, K Rvb, nqZv, mLvb wfo evoQ| wK Pvq GB jvKjv? ay wK `LZB GmQ, bvwK Zv`i wKQy cZvkv AvQ Abi KvQ? Ab wK-B ev w`Z cvi Zv`i? e`~i Pj hvIqv GK APbv fxb`kx m GLb, GB jvKjvi cZvkvi K~j wKbviv cvevi mvaB Zv Zvi bB, c~iY Kiv `~ii K_v| A_P, GB GLb, Abi gb nQ, mvwi eua gvbyl AvmQ `~i `~iv _K, evBi njv KiQ KviY, Zviv Abi `Lv cZ Pvq, Zvi m K_v ejZ Pvq, Zvi KvQ _K wKQy cZI Pvq| wK cZ Pvq? GB jvKjv wK GLb eje eKvj ai eskvbyg Avgiv Avcbv`i mvb Ki GmwQ, fvjvem GmwQ, Avgv`i fvjv-g`, cZvkv-cvwZ, Avb`-e`bvq Avcbv`i KvQB QyU GmwQ eivei| Avcbvi wcZv, Avcbvi wcZvgn, Zuvi wcZv I wcZvgn, ZuviI wcZv I wcZvgn A_vr Avgv`i Pbv-APbv Avcbvi mKj c~ecyil Avgv`i evev, `v`v, Zvi evev I `v`v Ges ZviI evev I `v`v A_vr Avgv`i mKj c~ecyili KvQ mvb I fvjvevmv cq GmQb| Zuviv mB mvb I fvjvevmvi ghv`vI w`qQb, nqZv G RbB GB ARcvovMuv Qo Zuviv KLbv Pj hvbwb, Avgv`i Rb h_vmva KiQb; A_P Avcwb Avgv`i cZvkvi K`we`yZ _KI we`k cvwo RwgqQb, GKeviI fvebwb Avgv`i Kv_vI hvevi RvqMv bB, Avgv`i Rb K_v ejvi Kvbv gvbyl bB Avcwb Pj Mj Avgv`i Zvnj wK ne! Avgv`i mvb I fvjvevmvi h Aghv`v Avcwb KiQb Zvi Rb AvcbvK Revew`wn KiZ ne; Avgv`i mewKQy Kovq-Mvq diZ w`Z ne| evBi njv evo Avi Ab fxZ nq co| wK Reve `e m GB jvKjvK? Giv h wVK GB K_vjvB fveQ, Zv nqZv bq| wK Abi gw welqwU GfveB XyK coQ wKQyZB ZvovZ cviQ bv| Ab Kvbvw`K gbvhvM `qv Zvi c Ame nq coQ, bBj wUwU I msKzwPZ nq em _vKv kvvK Zvi wbqB PvL coZv| G hvvq `yRbB Aek dzcyi mnvqZvq Dvi cvq, wZwb hLb ejb
AvMK
44

I LvKv, nvZ gyL ayq I Ni Avq, LZ w`wQ| eDgv, Gmv, Avgvi m Gmv ZLb `yRbB ^w wbtkvm dj| I Ni gvb cyew`K cyKzi Nulv QvU NiwU, Abiv hUvK bZzb Ni ejZv Ges evev GUv Zwi KiwQjb Abi RbB, weklfve| evwo Qo Pj hvevi AvMi wZbU eQi m I NiB KvwUqQ| KZ ivZ KUQ Zvi IB Ni GKvKx, wbtm| evbiv ZZvw`b XvKvq, gv I evev eo Ni| Ab mB c_g hb ^vaxbZvi mva cqwQj GK`g wbRi GKwU Ni cq| wbRbZv Avi wbtmZvi m mB _K cg njv Zvi| GB Ni emB m `LZ cZv cKwZi AyZ FZzcwieZb| GKwU `k nVvr Zvi gb cojv| elvq gvV _ _ cvwb, g`y evZvm QvU QvU XD DVQ, Avi Puv`wb ivZ XDjv wPKwPK RvQbv gL eq hvQ| Kx h AmvaviY GK `k, bv `Lj evSv hve bv| K_vUv kvvK ejv `iKvi gb nj m GZY eDqi w`K bRi `q| Abvq nQ, LyeB Abvq nQ gqUv GLvb bZzb, Zv-I eD, A_P GKeviB bRi `qv nQ bv| Gevi m kvvi nvZ aiGmv IB Ni hvB| Rvbv ILvb Avwg _vKZvg| elvq... wdmwdm Ki Zvi eYbvI i nq hvq| kvv c_gZ GKUz cwZwqvnxb njI I Ni wMq Zvi mwZ gb fvjv nq hvq| QvULvUv GKUv Ni, Rvbvjv Num GKUv LvU, mLvb aeae mv`v Pv`i, Uwej auvqv IVv fvZ| GB mejv fvZ LZ ne! Zv-I fvjv| Zey Zv GZ wfo _K iv cvIqv MQ! Aek Zv ewkYi bq, fvZ LvIqv kl nZ bv nZ Avevi `yGKRb Ki jvKRbi AvMgb NUZ _vKj, AbZzwg GKUz i bvI, Avwg AvmwQ ej evBi eivq| Avi wVK ZLywb D`vmcyi hb Sc Ki mv bg Avm| weKji Avjv KLb gyQ MQ, Ui cvIqv hvqwb| Kgjv iOi GKUv vb Avfv PivPi Qwoq coQ| Kgb gb Lvivc Kiv GKUv nvIqv eBQ Pvicvk| GK AyZ welYZv Avi D`vmxbZvq cyiv cw_exi PnvivB cv MQ| GB AvKvk I gvwU, cvwL I emg~n hb wPiPbv GB cw_exi bq, hb ev Kvbvw`b ^c `Lv nqwQj GB RMrwUi m| Nii cvk w`q gVvc_ ai nuU hvIqv gvbyljvI wK GB Kvji? Zv`i PvL-gyL mnm eQii wZwP Avi D`vmbxZv hb gvLvgvwL nq AvQ ej gb nq kvvi| GB mvi K_vB wK ejwQj Ab? kvvi PvL wfR IV AKviYB GiKg mv m `Lwb KLbv GZ welY, GZ D`vmxb| Iw`K Abi Avi mv `Lvi myhvM nQ bv| ZvK K_v ejZ nQ, gvbyli m Kzkj wewbgq KiZ nQ| jvKRb GZ `Z Lei cvQ Kxfve
AvMK 11

K Rvb! Avi Lei cjB wK? G iKg `j eua `Lv KiZ Avmvi Kvbv gvb nq! G`i wK Kvbv KvRKg bB? cigyn~ZB cyivbv w`bi K_v gb co Zvi| evevi KvQ KZ h jvK AvmZv! GB Mvg ev Avkcvki Mvg QvovI `~i`~iv _K civgk wbZ ev Dc`k bZ ev md evevi K_v kvbvi jvf Avmv jvKRbi hZ-Avw KiZ KiZ gv-i RxebUv Zv ivbvNiB KU Mjv| m Zv Zv`i iB enb Ki PjQ Zvi kixi, gvbylK `vl w`q Avi wK jvf? D`vmcyi ivZ bgQ wbSzg nq AvmQ mewKQy| Ab h_vme f`fve jvKRb we`vq Ki Gm `Ljv kvv wbtmvo NygyQ| gqUvi Rb nVvr Lye gvqv njv Zvi| G evwoi GKgv eD GB c_gevii gZv G evwoZ Gjv A_P `vLv Kx Aenjvq NygvQ! Avnv, hw` gv-evev euP _vKZb, Zvnj? Ab wMq Lye ggZvq eDqi gv_vq nvZ ivLj kvvi Nyg fO hvq| nVvr Ggb Nywgq cowQj ej GKUz jvB jvM Zvi| wK Abi VuvU jM _vKv g`y-gvqvgq nvwmwU Zvi jv Ko wbq eis ZvK Avnv`x Ki Zvj| ej AbK ivZ nq MQ bvwK? bv, b-Uvi gZv| I| KLb h Nywgq cojvg| Zvici GKUzY Pzc Ki _K ej GLvbKvi mvUv mwZB Lye AyZ| GgbwU Avi KLbv `wLwb| Zzwg hLb ejwQj, Avwg Gi A_ eywSwb| gb nZv Ime Zvgvi Kbvi iO cw_exi me RvqMvq mv evcviUv GKB iKg| wK GLvb Gm fyj fvOjv Avgvi| GLb gb nQ Avmj Rxeb KLbv GB evcvijv LqvjB Kiv nqwb| XvKvq h KLb mKvj nq, KLb mv Avm, Ke c~wYgv nq, Avi Ke Agvemv UiB cvIqv hvq bv| Avi FZzzi cwieZb! mUv Ui cvIqv Zv Aviv KKi| mviv eQiB fvcmv Mig, KvbUv h Mx Avi KvbUv elv, GgbwK kxZKvjUv ch GmB hvB hvB Ki| kir-ng-em Gme FZzi Zv AwZB bB XvKvq| Gme Kej eBq cov FZz Zvi icewP evS, Kvi mva? knii Qjgq`i Rb evanq bZzb Ki wjLZ ne evsjv`ki Mvg Q-wU FZz wK kni `yUv Mx I kxZ| kxZKvjUv `y-gvmi evwK `kgvmB MxKvj| kvvK GKm nVvr GZ K_v ejZ `L Ab AevK nq| LywkI| Zvi GKUv fq wQjv D`vmcyii h me eYbv m w`qQ, Zvi KZUzKz h Aewk AvQ mUv Zvi wbRiB Rvbv wQjv bv hw` kvvi GB cwiewZZ ic fvjv bv
AvMK
45

jvM, Zvnj Avi Kvbvw`b Gme wbq K_v ejv hve bv| wK GLb gb nQ Ii fvjv jvMe| c_g mvwUB Zvi fvjv jMQ Avmj m`h Zv GLbv `LBwb| KvjK mvUv `LZ ne cvi cvo em| I Zvnj eySZ cvie Ggb my`i-Mxi-D`vmxb-welY mviI Rb nZ cvi GB cw_exZ! Ab gb w`q kvvi K_v bwQj, bZ bZB wRm Ki Zvgvi fvjv jvMQ GLvb Gm? nuv, Lye| AvQv, GB h GZ gvbylRb Gjv, evcviwU wK ejv Zv? Avwg Zv wKQyB eySjvg bv| AvwgI h wVK eySZ ciwQ Zv bq| GUv Avgvi KvQI Lye AcZvwkZ NUbv, KLbv fveZI cvwiwb, GB Aji jvKRb AvgvK GBfve MnY Kie| Avwg Zv Kvbv mKB ivwLwb G`i m hgb iLwQjb evev ev `v`v| GB mvb ev fvjvevmv cvevi hvMB bB Avwg | hZ`~i eySZ cviwQ GB me jvKi GKUv AyZ aviYv nQ Zv`i Rxeb h wewea msKU iqQ, evev ev `v`v hgb mjvi GKiKg mgvavb w`Zb, AvwgI Zv w`Z cviev| wK I`i Kxfve evSvB h, Zv`i Rxebi m Avgvi c~ecyil`i cwiPq wQjv, mK wQjv, Zuviv G`i mgmv ev msKUi aibwU eySZb| Avwg Zv mjv eySZB cviev bv G`i Rxebhvcbi m Avgvi Zv Kvbv cwiPqB bB| Zvgvi KvQI Zv`i AbK cZvkv, ZvB bv? ZvB Zv gb nq| wK G`i Rb Avgvi wK-B ev Kivi AvQ? Avgvi `v`v ev evevi mgqi eveZv h cv MQ, Giv Zv Zv evS ej gb nq bv| AvQv, evev h Zuvi Dj Kvwiqvi Qo Pj GmwQjb, G`i K_v fe Zzwg cvie IiKg KiZ? ckUv nqZv AvgviB Kivi K_v wQjv ZvgvK, h, Avwg hw` Zgb wKQy KiZ PvB Zvnj Avgvi gvqi gZv ZzwgI IiKg mwdvBm KiZ cvie Kx bv! ZywgB hLb ckUv Zzjj, eySZ cviwQ Zvgvi w`K _K Kvbv mgmv bB, wK Avgvi w`K _K AvQ| `vLv, evevi hgb Dj Kvwiqvi wQjv, jvfbxq GKUv PvKwi KiZb, gZv I myhvMi vi AevwiZ wQjv Zuvi mvgb Avgvi Zgb wKQy bB| Zuvi Zzjbvq Avwg wbZvB Qvcvlv| Avgvi c~ecyil`i gZvB Avgvi gaI LvwbKUv elwqK D`vmxbZv AvQ| bBj Zv AvgwiKvq Gi Pq AbK fvjv Kvwiqvi Mo ZzjZ cviZvg| wK Avgvi mgmvUv Ab RvqMvq| evev Kb PvKwi-evKwi Qo Mvg Pj GmwQjb, `v`v
AvMK 11

Kb DivwaKvim~ cv Rwg`vwi ZvM KiwQjb, ev Zuvi wcZv Kb Lvb evnv`yi Dcvwa MnY A^xKwZ RvwbqwQjb Avwg Zv Rvwb bv| GjvK Avwg Kej NUbv wnme Rvwb, wK Gi cQbi KviYwU Rvwb bv| wbqB Kvbv MvD wQjv, mUv bv Rvbj Zv`i GB ceYZvi evLv `qv hvq bv| evevi evcviUv Zey LvwbKUv evSv hvq, wZwb AZ Zuvi wmvi mc mevi KvQ GKUv KviY `uvo KwiqwQjb| wK GUvKB Avwg, Kb Rvwb bv, GKgv KviY wnme gb wbZ cvwi bv| wKsev aiv, GUvB hw` KviY nq _vK, ZeyI Avwg GB Kbmi m wgZ cvlY Kwi| mvb`i kKo ay D`vmcyiB Kb, mgM `kB bq Kb, GB cki Di wK evevi KvQ wQjv? ^xKvi Kwi, wbRi c Zuvi AbK hyw wQjv, Ges mevB Zuvi mme hywi KvQ ni hZ, wK wbRK h wZwb D`vmcyii ga mxgve Ki djjb, GB wmv Avwg mg_b Kwi bv| evev ev `v`vi gav m^ Avgvi Kvbv mskq bB| AZ evevi m Avgvi hZUzKz K_v nqQ ZvZ Zuvi h AMva vb I ewZgx wPvi cwiPq cqwQ Zvi Zzjbv gjv fvi| wZwb mB wPvK Aviv weZZ cwimi Qwoq w`Z cviZb! mUvB DwPZ wQjv, KZeI wQjv| Avgv`i mgvR wPvwe`i Lye Afve, A_P Zuvi gZv GKRb gvbyl wPvi RMrK Qwoq bv w`q D`vmcyi Gm em iBjb GUv Kgb K_v? Zuvi PvKwi Qvov wbq Avgvi Kvbv ck bB, vfI bB| Zuvi mvgvwRK vUvm, gZv, c`ghv`v BZvw` wbqI Avgvi Kvbv gv_ve_v bB| GKRb Avgjvcy wnme mgvR cwiwPZ nIqvi ga Avwg Kvbv Mie `wL bv| wK wZwb h Zuvi wPvK e gvbyli ga Qwoq `evi Kvbv Pv Kibwb GUv wbq Avgvi `ytLeva AvQ| Kvbv wjwLZ icI iL hvbwb wZwb, GgbwK Wvqwi ch wjLZb bv evev| Kb? Zuvi wK fvev DwPZ wQjv bv h, Zuvi Qjgqiv GB fvebvjv hvPvB-evQvB Ki `Le? GKB mgmv Avgvi `v`viI| wZwbI wKQyB wjL hvbwb, h, Zuvi wPvi m fwelr eskai`i cwiPq NUe| dj gZ z i m m jvKgyL wKQyw`b euP _vKv Qvov Zuv`i mg wKQyiB BwZ NU MQ| Avwg Gi Kvbv gvb LuyR cvB bv, Avi ZvB GB GKB NUbvi c~Yivew NUvZ mewKQy Qo D`vmcyi Pj Avmvi Rb fZi _K Kvbv mvov cvB bv| ZvQvov `v`v ev evevi gZv Kvbv gZev` ev `kb Avgvi AZv Mfxi Avv Rbwb GLbv| Avwg eis AbKLvwbB mskqx| wbR `kbi cwZ Avcvmnxbfve `p GKRb gvbyli c hv Kiv me, GKRb mskqx gvbyli c wK Zv Kiv meI bq!
AvMK
46

K_v nqZv Aviv ejZv Ab, wK dzcyi WvK evav cojv I LvKv, ivZ h AbK njv, Lq b| NwoZ `Lv Mjv, `kUv| Mvgi Rb AbK ivZB eU| cyiv MvgUv wbSzg nq MQ| mB AvMi gZv| Ni _K eivZB Ab Avi kvv GKm PgK DVjv| Ni em Ui cvqwb evBi GZ RvQbv| g eov GK Puv` DVQ KZw`b ci GB Puv`i gyL `Lv| Mxi gNnxb wbgj AvKvk| RvQbvq hb ayq hvQ PivPi| Avn, KZw`b `Lv nqwb Ggb `k! XvKvq Zv evSvB hvq bv KLb c~wYgv Avi KLb Agvemv! GUv wK Kvbv KvBwW fvejv Ab GB h bv RbB KcKB evwo Avmvi Rb eQ bqv? eo Ni _K Lq Gm Zviv DVvb emjv| Ab Avevi welY Avi D`vmxb nq DVQ| kvvI| Zvi gb coQ KevRvii mB RvQbvcvweZ ivZi K_v| Kvqmvi ejwQj AvRK Zv`i ^vaxbZv w`jvg| mwZ IB GKwU gv ivZ wQjv ^vaxbZvi| AvQv, Kvqmvii m wK Avgvi cg nZ cviZv bv Ab hgb wRm KiwQj! Kvbvw`b RvbvbvB njv bv I Avgvi KZUv cQ`i wQjv! Kb Rvbvjvg bv? cZvLvbi fq? bv wK AwbwZ fwelZi AvksKvq? Ii m cg nj Kgb nZv GB Rxeb? Gi Pq fvjv? I wK Abi PqI D`vi-gvqvgq-fvjvevmvc~Y? Gme fveZ fveZB Zvi gb njv, Avgvi ga wK Kvbv Ac~YZ v AvQ bBj Gme fvewQ Kb? fveQ h Kb, Zv bv RvbjI GiKg fvebv h mevi gaB gvS gvS fi Ki Zv m Rvb| h Rxeb gvbyl cvq, Zvi Pq AbiKg GKwU Rxebi mvebvi K_v K-B ev fyj _vKZ cvi? Kvqmvii m hw` Zvi cg nZv, weq nZv Zvnj RxebUv wbwZfveB AbiKg nZv mB AbiKgUv KxiKg Zvi P Aek m KiZ cvi bv, wKsev mUv GLbKvi Rxebi Pq fvjv bv Lvivc nZv Zv-I m Rvb bv, Zey mB Rxebi Rb hw` Mvcb GKwU cg Zvi _KB _vK Zv wK Lye `vli wKQy? Kvqmvi ZvK AbKLvwb eySZv, evSvZvI AbK gvbyli Rxebi ewni `L ZvK wePvi bv Ki Zvi fZii w`K ZvKvZ wkwLqwQj KvqmviB| K Rvb IiI nqZv LvwbKUv wekl Uvb wQjv kvvi cwZ, kvvi gZvB hv m AcKvwkZB iL w`qwQj| cg nqwb, wK Kvqmvi Zvi mebvk Ki w`qQ wVKB, bBj m Zv AbK wbq AmyLx bq, Zey Kb GB RvQbvcvweZ AvKvki wbP em Zvi gb nQ Ab bq, GLb, GB gyn~Z Zvi cvk KvqmviK cjB m myLx nZv! Kb gb nQ GB cw_exZ GKgv KvqmviB ejZ cvi, AvRK Zv`i ^vaxbZv
AvMK 11

w`jvg hvi hv BQ Ki! Kb Gme K_v gb coQ Avi PvL wfR DVZ PvBQ! Kb gb nQ gqiv h ^vaxb bq, hv BQ ZvB Kivi ^vaxbZv h Zv`i bB, Qjiv bv ej w`j Zviv h wbR`iK ^vaxb ej AbyfeB KiZ cvi bv GB wRwbmwU PvL AvOyj w`q `wLq w`q Kvqmvi GKUv mebvk Ki w`qQ| Gi Pq evanq A _vKvB fvjv wQjv! kvvi Kvbv cvwQj cvq webv KviYB, gb nwQj AbK wbq m myLxB nqQ, m`n bB, wK Kvqmvi ZvK hgb kLvZv AbKwKQy, Ab Zv Ki bv, eis Dv ZvKB AbK wKQy eywSq w`Z nq GB ecixZ eov mvsNvwZK| kvv GBme fvewQj, welY nq hvwQj, Zvi PvL KvbvfRv nq DVwQj, wK Abi mw`K bRiB wQjv bv| Zvi gb cowQj QvUejvi K_v| GB evwoi cwZwU a~wjKYvi m Zvi cwiPq wQjv| GiKg RvQbv ivZ fvBevbiv wgj KZ iKgi Ljvi AvqvRb Ki djZv Zviv| GLb GB wbSzg wbRb Lv Lv evwoNi `L wK KD Kbv KiZ cvie Kx fxlY RgRgvU wQjv GB Ni`vi GKmgq! Avmvi ci _K bvbv Svgjvq evSwb, GLb GB k~b evwoNi Zvi eyKUvKI k~b Ki w`jv| gv evevi AbycwwZ hb GB gyn~Z fxlY eyK evRjv| GKUz AvMI evevi wei hme hyw `uvo KwiqwQj GLb me fm Mjv, AveM| gb njv, wZwb fvjvB KiwQjb cw_exZ AZ GB GKwU RvqMv AvQ, hLvb Gj gv I evevi wP, dj Avmv kke-Kkvii bvbv wZgq M LuyR cvIqv hve| hLvb Gj gb ne wbRi KvQ Gjvg| hLvb Gj gb ne, GLvb mevB AvQ gv-evev-Avcv-Avcywb-eyey wVK hb AvMi gZv| wK ZviciB Zvi gb njv D`vmcyi AbK e`j MQ| mB Qvqv mywbweo MvgLvwbi Av`j Avi bB GLb| kvv gvS gvS `y-GKUv ck Kij Ab `vqmviv MvQi Di `q| hgb Avkcvki evwoNijv AvM wQjv bv| Giv b`xfvOv gvbyl me nvwiq GLvb Gm Ni ZzjQ| wKsev BQvgwZ `Lv hvq bv, KviY Zvi `y-cvkB evwoNi DVQ; IB Avkqnxb gvbyl`iB| A_ev nuv, cyKziUv cvq wKq MQ, AvMi gZv KPzwicvbv bB, meZ Zgb gvQI bB| Gme ejQ wVKB, wK Ab wVK mnR nZ cviQ bv| AmsL ck Zvi gbi ga gv_v DuwPq AvQ| D`vmcyii meB wK e`j MQ? wKQyB wK bB AvMi gZv? gvbyljvK Kgb cvYnxb, Kv, wecb gb njv Zvi| mevi RxebB wK Ze fqvbK Kvbv msKU Nwbq GmQ? evevK gb cojv Avevi| GB MvgwUK h Kx cwigvY fvjvevmZb wZwb, GLb fvej AevK jvM| GKUz AvM evevi mgvjvPbvq gyLi nqwQj ej
AvMK
47

jv njv Zvi| GKRb gvbyli AwaKvi AvQ h-Kvbvfve Rxebhvcb Kivi hw` mUv Ab Kviv wZi KviY bv nq `uvovq| evev wbR Mvg wdi Gm Zv Kviv wZ Kibwb, Kvbv AbvqI Kibwb, eis gvbyli cvk `uvwoqQb, Zv`i msKU I mgmvq mvbv hywMqQb| GB ev Kg wKm? wZwb evsjv`kK `LZ PqwQjb D`vmcyii ga w`q GB MvgwU wQjv Zuvi KvQ GKwU BDwbU, QvU GK evsjv`k| ejZb D`vmcyiK wPbjB evsjv`kK Pbv hve| Zuvi GB gZi m wgZ cvlY Kiv hvq, wK Akv cKvk Kiv DwPZ bq| GgbwK gywhyi gZv wekvj GKwU NUbvKI wZwb evLv KiZ PvBZb D`vmcyii cvcU dj| D`vmcyi Avi hy G `yUv cm gb Gj Awbevhfve iZbi gvK gb co hvq Abi| hyi K_v gb bB, iZbKI bq| ay gb AvQ, evev GKevi ZvK wbq I`i evwoZ wMqwQjb| fvOvPviv Ni AwZ hZ Zzj ivLv iZbi igvLv kvU `wLq ejwQjbKD Kvbvw`b iZbi gv-i KvQ _K IB kvU Ko wbZ cvie bv| IB gwnjv gi hve Zey kvUwU `e bv| hyi cyiv evcviwUB G iKg| G `ki gvbyl cvY `e, Zey mB wZ gyQ djZ `e bv| Avi hw` `vLv, gywhyi wZ ejZ Kv_vI wKQy bB, Zvnj eySe Avgv`i P~ov cZb NU MQ, AviKwU hy Qvov mB cZb VKvbvi Kvbv Dcvq bB| iZb, G Mvg gywhyi c_g knx`| evev ZvK GKwU cZxK cwiYZ KiwQjb| GK iZbK w`q wZwb mg knx`i AvZZvM I exiZK evLv KiZ PvBZb| GKwU welqK Gfve eni cvcU wbq hvevi GB gZv Zuvi wQjv| evevi gZv nZ cviwb ej Abi GB gyn~Z `ytLeva njv| GB `k Qo Pj hvIqv, D`vmcyii m mKnxb nq cov, `ki mewKQyZ APbv Qvc `Lv mewKQy weivU fyj nq `Lv w`jv| ivZ q m kvvi KvQ Avevi evevi K_v ejjv; gv-i K_v ejjv GB c_gevii gZv, weZfve| iZb I iZbi gvqi K_v ejjv, gvvi PvPv, Avwjg Wvvii M Kijv| Avi GB c_g Zviv `y-RbB mPZbfve GKwU mvbi ^c `Ljv h GKB m aviY Kie GZmewKQy, Ges h Zvi `k Qo, G`ki gvbyl Qo Pj hve bv `~i-APbv Ab Kvbv `k|
AvMK 11

12 fvi nZ bv nZ Nyg fO Mjv| G Zv kni bq h Avjv AKvi `yUvB Kwg ne! fvi nZB Ggb Avjvq fi Mjv mvivNi h, Avi q _vKv Mjv bv| Ab kvvK wbq evBi eivjv| fvii kxZj nvIqvq Mv Rywoq hvQ| GB MxKvjI Ggb kxZj nvIqv cvIqv hZ cvi, fvevB hvq bv| nuvUZ nuvUZ Zviv Keivbi KvQ Gjv| wKQyY `uvwoq kvvK Keijvi m cwiPq Kwiq w`jv Ab| ejjv Kx AyZ, bv! cRbi ci cRb q AvQ cvkvcvwk! Kv_vq hb cowQjvgevev bB gvb, `v`v I evevi ci Gevi Avgvi gZzi wmwiqvj| AvmjB ZvB, Gevi Avgvi wmwiqvj| AvwgI GLvbB NygvZ PvB Avgvi gvqi cvk| kvv PwKZ GKevi Abi gyLi w`K ZvwKq Zvi nvZ aijv Ime K_v ejv bv, Avgvi fq Ki| wK G Zv Awbevh| mevBKB hZ ne| GUvB wbqg| ZvgvK ZvB Rvwbq ivLjvg Kv_vq NygvZ PvB| hw` nVvr wKQy NU hvq gvbyli Rxeb h KLb Kx NU, ejv Zv hvq bv| bv bv, Mj Zvgvi AvM Avwg hvev| AvgvKI GLvbB iLv hb Zvgvi cvk _vKZ cvwi| Ab g`y nvmjv AvQv m `Lv hve ci| `y-RbiB K_vUv Rvbv Zv _vKjv| evwo Qo gVvc_ ai nuvUZ nuvUZ Zviv evwoi Di w`K Pj Gjv| GB c_, GB gvV Avn! Abi KvQ ^ci gZv gb nQ GB wdi Avmv| GiB ga `y-PviRb Ki jvKRb eivZ i KiQ| Ab-kvvK `L GwMq Gm, evevwR-Avv, ev fvBRvb-fvexmve eovBZ evBi nBjb eywS ej Kzkj wewbgq KiQ| GLvb _K Wvvi evwo `Lv hvQ| Ab ejjv Pjv, I evwo _K Nyi Avwm| mB cvMjv Wvvii evwo? nuv, Avgiv ZuvK Wvvi gvgv WvKZvg| Lye AyZ jvK wQjb| evevi gZv Zuvi PwiI inmgq| wewUk Avwgi Wvvi wQjb, wK gb Ki PvKwi Qo Mvg Gm emevm Kiv i KiwQjb| kni _vKj nqZv Lye ckvi RgvZ cviZb, wK Kb h Zv Kijb bv, KD Rvb bv| evevi m Aek Zuvi
AvMK
48

GKUv cv_K wQjv| Wvvi gvgv wQjb Ame ivMx| Zvi ivMi fq avi-KvQ wfoZv bv KD, evev wQjb Dv big ^fvei, Zuvi KvQ gvbyli wQjv Aeva hvZvqvZ| gvgv Avevi wQjb AwZgvvq bxwZevb GgbB bxwZevb h, Zuvi wbRi Mi hw` wbRiB Zi dmj Lq djZv, Zvnj mUvK ai Luvqvi cvwVq w`Zb, Zvici ivLvjK ejZb Zvi MuvUi cqmv w`q Avgvi Mi Qvwoq Avb| Zuvi hywUv wQjv GiKg ivLvji `vwqZB nQ Mi `L ivLv, Ii `vwqZi Aenjvi KviYB AvRK mUv wMq Avgvi Zi dmj b KiQ, KvjK AbiUv Kie, Zvnj Avi IK iLwQ Kb? hnZz m `vwqZ Aenjv KiQ AZGe ZvK kvw cZ ne| Zv, DbvK Avgiv Lye fq cZvg| Dbvi GKUv e`yK wQjv mUvB wQjv fqi g~j KviY| Dwb gvS gvSB e`yK ei Ki evPv`i Zvov jvMvZb| IB evwoZ wjPz MvQ AvQ| GKevi Avcv`i m MwQ, Wvvii GKgv gq kvgxg Avcv AvgvK Lye Av`i KiZv, ejjv hv Zv LvKv, MvQ _K wjPz co wbq Avq| Avwg cviev bv kvgxg Avcv| Kb? gvgv hw` wKQy ejb? Avi bv, evev wK ejeb? hw` e`yK wbq gviZ Avmb? `~i cvMj, ZvK evev gviZ cvib? Zv, K_v nwQj DVvb `uvwoq, NiB gvgv, bQb wbqB| ZLb wKQy&B ejjb bv, h-B bv MvQ DVwQ, GKevi sKvi w`q DVjb GvB wjPz MvQ K i, e`yK wbq Gjvg wK| IB sKvi b wK Avi MvQ em _vKv hvq, KvbvgZ bg GKQyU evwo| nv nv nv| GLb gb coj Lye nvwm cvq| IUv h wZwb gRv Kivi Rb KiZb, ZLb Zv Avi eySZvg bv|... gywhyi mgq vbxq gywhvv`i msMwVZ Ki cwkY w`qwQjb wZwb, GRb cwiYvgI fvM KiZ nqwQj ZuvK| cvwKvb Avwgiv Gm Zuvi cyiv evwoUvB cywoq w`qwQj| AyZ evcvi wK Rvbv, mB cvov wUb w`qB wZwb Ni ZzjwQjb Avevi| GB Ni bvwK GLbv AvQ| mvivRxeb wZwb mB wZ msiY Ki MQb| Zuvi Zv Kvbv Afve wQjv bv, BQ KijB bZzb Ki evwo KiZ cviZb|
AvMK 11

ejZ ejZ Zviv evwoi mxgvbvq Gm coj PvL co cyo jvj nq hvIqv wUbjv cvq fOyi nq MQ Zey e`jvbv nqwb| G evwoUvI weivU Ab`i evwoi gZv| A`ignjUv fZii w`K, evBiI weivU RvqMv| Zviv Avmvi m m GKUv Avjvob co Mjv| ivLvjjv `o Gm wXcwXc mvjvg KiQ nuvcvQ, ejQ fvBRvb, Avcb, Avcb AvBQb! Zvici Avv, eye y GBme WvK Qo fZii w`K QyUQ| `LZ bv `LZ kvgxg AvcvI `o Gjv| LvKv ZzB! Ab g`y nvm nuv, kvgxg Avcv, Pj Gjvg| LvKv, LvKv, mwZ ZzB GmwQm! nuv Zv| kvgxg Avcvi hb wekvmB nQ bv| Gm Mvj Quyq, Pzj Quyq Av`i KiQ, hb Abi eqm GKjvd 20 eQi Kg MQ Avi cvMji gZv ejQ GZw`b ci Gwj fvB! KZw`b ci! GB evbUvK eywS Avi gbI co bv! Avgvi wbRi Zv Kvbv fvB-evb bB, ZvivB wQwj me, A_P m K_v Zviv egvjyg fyj MwQm! Ab weeZ nq Pzc Ki wQjv| m kvgxg Avcvi KvQ mwZ Ggb AveMceY Af_bv cZvkv Kiwb| Avcv, Avcywb ev eyeyi gZv kvgxg AvcvI Zvi GKUv evb GK_v KLbv Zvi gbB nqwb| gb bv nIqv cQb KviYI AvQ| QvUejvq kvgxg Avcvi KvQ Av`i cqQ, Avnv` cqQ, AcZvwkZ AbK ckqI cqQ, mwZ wK Zey G evwoi m GKUv `~iZ wQjv Zvi| mUvi KviY eva nq Wvvi gvgv-B hvi fq hLb-ZLb G evwoZ XyK covi mvnm nZv bv, AvmZ nZv evb`i m, dj kvgxg Avcvi m Mfxi Kvbv mKi eva KvR Kiwb KLbv| Avi GLb `vLv, Kx AyZ, kvgxg Avcv ZvK cq Kuv`Q| cw_exi Kv_vq Kvi Rb Kx h mwZ _vK, KD Zv Rvb bv| m-I wK RvbZv, GB wKQyY AvMI, h, GB evwoZ Zvi Rb KD mq Ki iLQ AveMgq ni fvvi! Ab Pzc Ki `uvwoqwQj| kvvI | m eySZB cviQ bv, Zvi GLb Kx Kiv DwPZ! AbI ZvK GB gwnjv m^ Zgb wKQy ejwb| Wvvi gvgvi GKUvB gv gq AvgvK Lye Av`i KiZv GUzKzB| wK Abiv h Zvi KvQ GZUv iZc~Y m m^ wKQyB ejwb|
AvMK
49

wKQyY G iKg Pjvi ci kvgxg Avcv PvL gyQ wbq ej Zvi eD eywS? nuv, I kvv| evn, Lye my`i Zv i Zvi eDUv| Gmv eD, fZi Pjv ej, nvZ ai ZvK wbq hZ hZ ej KvjKB Lei cqwQ, Zviv GmwQm, wK wekvmB nwQj bv| Zvici Avevi GB KvKWvKv fvi GLvb Gm nvwRi nwe fveZB cvwiwb ZvB Agb AveMceY nq cowQjvg, eD Zzwg hb wKQy gb Kiv bv Avevi| fZi wMq kvgxg Avcv LyuwUq LyuwUq mevi K_v wRm Ki| Abi evb`i K_v, Zv`i Qjgq`i K_v, Abi `k divi K_v, weqi K_v| wK wbRi K_v wKQyB ejZ Pvq bv| Ab GKevi KzwZfve wRm Ki `yjvfvBK `LwQ bv h| NygvQ GK evK IB cm _K mi Gm Ab cm Pj hvq| Ab Gi KviY evS| kvgxg Avcvi weq nqwQj Lye evRfve| Wvvi gvgv wfjR cwjwUi wkKvi nqwQjb| wVK Kx h NUwQj Ab Zv Rvb bv| ay gb co, GKw`b mKvj nVvr bwQj Kvj ivZ kvgxg Avcvi weq nq MQ| eiK KviviB cQ` nqwb| Kvbvw`K _KB m kvgxg Avcvi hvM wQjv bv| AwkwZ-AgvwRZ GiKg GKRb jvKi m Wvvi mvnei gqi weq nZ cvi, GUv KD KbvI Kiwb| gb co, GB NUbvi ci evev Wvvi gvgvK WK wbq Lye agKwQjb wK hv NU MQ, Zv Zv Avi divbvi Dcvq bB| GB Mvwb I e`bv _K evc-gq KDB Kvbvw`b gyw cjv bv| Ab wRm Ki Mvgi Aev wK kvgxg Avcv? gb njv me Kgb hb e`j MQ! Zv MQ| D`vmcyi Zv GLb AwffveKnxb| dzcv Zv ay D`vmcyiiB bq, cyiv AjiB AwffveK wQjb| GgbwK evevI cw_exZ meZ GKgv dzcvKB Kqvi KiZb, fq cZb| dzcv gviv hvIqvi ci mewKQy hb Kgb IjvU-cvjvU nq MQ| Zuvi ewZi KvQ huviv vb wQjv hviv KLbv wbR`i ewZ wbq `uvovZB cviwb Zviv gv_v Zzj `uvwoq, bvbvb Mc fvM nq wbR`i KZZ cwZvi Rb hv BQ Zv-B Ki eovQ| Aev Lye fvjv bv i LvKv| Ab Pzc Ki _vK| Aev wVK KZUv Lvivc m K_v wevwiZfve wRm Kivi mvnm nq bv, eis Ab cm Zvj
AvMK 11

GB cvov wUbjv GLbv iL w`qQ kvgxg Avcv? fO coQ Zv! Gjv e`wjq bZzb wUb jvMvZ cviv bv? bv i| BQ KiB e`jvB bv| evev GZ hZ Ki Gme wZwP msiY KiwQjb, Avwg Kxfve mjv dj `B, ej! _vK bv, hZw`b _vK! Avmvi mgq kvgxg Avcv ej GLb hnZz `kB AvwQm, gvS gvS mgq Ki Avwmm| GLvbKvi gvbyl GZ cZvkv Ki Zv`iK wbq, Zvi Zv GKUv `vwqZI AvQ| evwo wdiZ wdiZ `wi nq Mjv| kvgxg Avcv bvv bv LvBq Qvojv bv wKQyZB| evwoZ dzcyI bvv evwbqQb mUvI LZ njv| (GLvb KqKw`b _vKj wY nq XvKvq wdiZ ne ej gb nQ|) ZZvY Avevi jvKRb AvmZ i KiQ| GK`j ZiY GmQ Zvi m `Lv KiZ| wRm Ki Rvbv Mjv Iiv vbxq KjRi Qv, Abi bvg b b eo nqQ, Gevi KvQ _K `Lvi BQ ZvB GmQ| Ab cvYLvjv nvwmZ mevBK mnR Ki Zvj, bvbv AvjvcPvwiZvq gZ IV| hgb GLvb Zv AvM KjRB wQjv bv, zj cvk Ki nq XvKvq, bv nq gvwbKM kni coZ hZ nZv| GLb Zvgv`i KZ myweav evwoZ _KB coZ cviQv| wKsev zji wK Aev? mviiv Kgb AvQb? ZiYiv Rvbvjv cyibv mvi`i ga `yRb gv AvQb| Kb? zjUv miKvix nIqvi ci AbKB e`wj nq MQb, KD Aemi wbqQb, Avevi KD KD gviv MQb| gviv MQb? K? Avgv`i cvb nW mvi, kvgmy mvi, mvvi mvi, bvwmi mvi, Kvgvj mvi mevB gviv MQb| GLb AvQb ay nwic` mvi Avi gwbl mvi| Avi me bZzb, e`wj nq Avmv wUPvi| GZRb mvi gviv MQb b Abi fvwi Lvivc jvMjv| Gu`i KvQ _K cPzi n cqQ m| wekl Ki kvgmy mvi Avi nwic` mvii K_v Lye gb co| kvgmy mvi AsKi wkK wQjb, ejZb AsK nQ jwRKi evcvi| Zvi jwRK hZ cwivi ne, AsKI ZZv mnR gb ne| AsKi cuvPjv wZwb GZ PgrKvifve awiq w`Zb h, Abi GKmgq gb nZv,
AvMK
50

cw_exi Kvbv AsKB GLb Avi Zvi KvQ KwVb gb ne bv| nwic` mvi wQjb GKBm Bswjk Mvgvi Avi evsjv evKiYi cwZ| evKMVbi g~jm~, k eenvii Kkj, fvlvi m`h, GgbwK mvwnZi b`bZ ch wZwb Zuvi Qv`i kLvbvi Pv KiZb| Abi gb nq GB mvi`i RbB m AZ AvKvWwgK covkvbvq Kv_vI Kvbvw`b VKwb| mKj wkvi g~j AvQ MwYZi hyw Avi fvlvi eenvi, h wKkviwUK Zvi zj GB `yUv welq fvjv Ki wkwLq `e, AZ g~jm~jv awiq `e, mB wKkvi Avi Kvbvw`bB Kv_vI VK coe bv GB mZ m Rxebi bvbv chvq Dcjw KiQ, Ges AevK nqQ GB fe h, cvUMvg zji gZv GKwU ALvZ zji `yRb wkK GB g~jm~jv kLvevi cvYv Pv KiZb| Ab Zvi Rxeb eevi Zvi fvlv eenvii `Zv, Avi K_v ejvi cvjZvi Rb AbK cksmv cqQ, Avi ZLwb gb co MQ nwic` mvii K_v| ay zji covkvbvB bq, mvii Drmvn wQjv Aviv AbK w`KB| Qjgq`i mvswZK KgKv AskMnY KiZ Drmvn w`Zb, eB coZ ejZb, wjLZ ejZb| DPviYi evcvi Zuvi LuyZLuyZ ^fve wQjv cev`cwZg| KD hw` Kvbv k fyjfve DPviY KiZb, mvi ZvK DPviYUv wkwLq wb`k w`ZbGB kUv AvRK ZzB Rvi Rvi ejZ ejZ evwo hvwe, Avevi KvjK zj Avmvi mgq Rvi Rvi ejZ ejZ Avmwe| GKevi zji evwlK mvswZK Abyvbi P~ov winvmj GKUv gq bvP Bivbx gq MvBwQj, Ii P DPviY evanq Kvbv mgmv nwQj| mvi GKevi MR DV ejjb Mvb _vgv, AvM DPviY wVK Ki| Zvici DPviY Kgb ne mUv evievi `wLq w`Z jvMjb| winvmj gv_vq DVjv! Avmj mvi wQjb M-Dcbvm cov Av`k wkKi eve cwZg~wZ| wK Zuvi Qviv Lye mvgvbB Zvi KvQ _K wbZ ciQ| Ab cvqB fve Kvmig Ges Kvmigi evBi wZwb Zuvi AcM QvQvx`i mvgb h K_vjv ejZb, mjv gwYgyvi gZv ayjvZ MovMwo hZ, Avgiv Zvi mvgvbB KzovZ ciwQ| wZwb wbqB RvbZb, eySZb Zvi QvQvxiv Gme kvbvi hvM bq, Zey Gjv ejZb nqZv Kvbv-bv-Kvbv GKRbi eyK wnibq c`xc Rvwjq `evi Rb| mvivRxeb ai wZwb GB Pv Ki MQb, KZUzKz mdj nqQb K Rvb! ZiY`i m GBme bvbviKg Avjvci GK chvq I`i Zid _K AwfhvM kvbv hvq
AvMK 11

fvBRvb Zv Avi Avgv`i LuvRLei ivLQb bv, Gw`K GB Aj gjev`xiv msMwVZ nQ| Avgiv Pv KiwQ Zv`iK cwZnZ KiZ| G evcvi wK Avgiv Avcbvi mnhvwMZv PvB| ^vaxbZvweivax PK Avgiv wKQyZB cwZwZ nZ `ev bv, gywhyi ARbK wKQyZB bmvr KiZ `ev bv| G Rb GLb `iKvi gywhyi ci kwi GKwZ nIqvi Avgiv PvB Avcwb Avgv`i m _vKeb| Abi Lye fvjv jvM| bv, AZvUv nZvk nIqvi wKQz bB| ZiYiv mPZb nq DVQ hw`I m cKZ Aev Rvb bv, hw` mwZ gjev`x KgKv PjZI _vK, Zey Giv mUvK VwKq w`Z cvie| GivB Zv G`ki fwelr GB cRbi RbB nqQ ^vaxb evsjv`k, G`i wPvfvebvI ZvB cwivi| I`i wPvfvebv Aviv cwivifve Rvbvi RbB nqZv Ab I`iK gywhyi K_v wRm Ki| ej AvQv, Avgv`i hyUv Kb nqwQj ej Zvgv`i aviYv? Di Avm RvwZi RbK eez kL gywReyi ingvb 1971 mvji 7-B gvP ^vaxbZvi WvK `b| IB WvKB gywhy nqwQj| eezB GB RvwZK ^vaxbZvi Rb cZ Ki ZzjwQjb| G evcvi Zv Kviv Kvbv m`n bB| wK aygv IB WvKi RbB hy nqwQj? Zvi cQb Avi Kvbv BwZnvm bB? Ab Kvbv KviY, Ab Kvbv ciYv ev ^c wQjv bv GB hyi cQb? nqZv wQjv, wK eez bv _vKj Avgiv ^vaxbZv cZvg bv| m K_v Zv Avwg gvbwQB| wK Avgvi ck nQ hyUv Kb nqwQj? gvbyl Kvb AvKvv _K hyUv KiwQj? evOvwj Zv GKUv wbixn RvwZ, wK Ggb cZvkv wQjv Zv`i h Ggb gibcY hy Suvwcq cojv? eezi wb`k| eez ejwQjb, Zvgv`i hvi hv wKQy AvQ... ay G RbB? eez ejQb ejB GZjv jvK cvY w`qQ? RbMYi wbR^ Kvbv cZvkvB wQjv bv? wQjv, Zviv PqwQj `k ^vaxb ne, eez wdi Avmeb... eez wdi Avmeb, Zvici? Zvici Avi wK? eez Zv evOvwj RvwZi Awemsevw`Z bZv... Ab Kv eva Ki| GB Qjjv cwZwU evK GKevi Ki eezi bvg DPviY KiQ, hb Zv bv KijB bq| Giv Zvnj gywhy I ^vaxbZv ejZ GKRb ewKB evS! ^vaxbZv gvb Zvnj Zuvi Av`k-wb`k, BQvAvMK
51

AwbQv BZvw`? G`i K_v b K eje hy GZjv gvbyl cvY w`qQ GKRb gv gvbyli Rb bq, GKwU acw` ^ci Rb fvjvfve euP _vKvi ^c| GgbwK GB Qjjv hw` GKeviI ejZv eez Zv GKwU kvlYgy mgvR I iv cwZvi ^c `LZb, RbMYI Zuvi KvQ _K mB ^c `LZ wkLwQj, Avi mRbB, Zuvi WvK Ggb wecyjfve mvov w`qwQj ZeyI gvbvbmB nZv| Abi aviYv njv Giv kL gywRei bvgwU Qvov Avi wKQyB Rvb bv| GgbwK, wZwb h GKwU zav I `vwi`g y kvlYnxb mgvRi K_v ejZb GB K_vwUI G`i ARvbv | Abi gRvR Lvivc nq hvq| GKUz Pov MjvqB m evSvbvi Pv KihyUv GKRb gv ewi Rb nqwb|... Qjiv weim gyL kvb, KD KD DmLym Ki Ges AwPiB DV `uvovqAvgiv Zvnj GLb hvB fvBRvb| wK hZ hZ Zv`i Amwnz K^i fm Avmeezi K_v bevi cvi bv, kvjvq ivRvKvi| Ii evc-`v`v AvwQj ivRvKvi, I Avi wK nBev? Kvb nvwjgI ivRvKvi, bBj wK Avi GB evwoZ AvBmv Kv dvjvq? wRqv Avi Gikv`i cvI aBiv gx Aq! ivRvKvi kvjvq Avevi AvgvMv gywhy wkLvq... GK`j hZ bv hZ AviK`j Gm nvwRi nq| GivI AbK `LZ GmQ Abi K_v bZ GmQ| wK Abi Kvbv K_v kvbvi AvM wbRivB c~eeZx ZiY`i m^ AbK K_v wbq `q Iiv wbqB Avcbvi Kvb fvwi Ki Mjv! I`i K_vq Kvb `eb bv fvBRvb| Iiv Avmj mvmx| Puv`vevwR, UvievwR Ki eovq| KviY AKviY gywhyi K_v ej, gywhyi mc kw ej wbR`i cwiPq w`q hv BQ ZvB Ki eovq, Avi KD Gmei cwZev` Kij Zv`iK ^vaxbZvweivax P, ivRvKvi ej MvjvMvwj Ki| Avevi hLb Kvbv ivRvKviK AvIqvgx jxM _K BjKkb bwgbkb `Iqv nq, ZLb ZvK gywhvvi mvwUwdKU w`q Zvi c Kvgi eua KvR Ki| MZ BjKkb hLb wePvicwZ byij BmjvgK bwgbkb `qv njv, ZLb GivB GB weLvZ ivRvKvii Rb Rvb evwR iL, mvm Ki, fq fxwZ `wLq GKUv AivRK Aev Zwi Kijv| wePvicwZ byij Bmjvg bvgwU bB Abi LUKv jMwQj| wRm Ki Rvbjv nuv, G mB wePvicwZ byij Bmjvg, wRqvi Avgj wmBwm wQjb, Gikv`i Avgj c_g AvBbgx, ci fvBm cwmWU nqwQjb| GB jvKwU gywhyi mgq cvwKvb miKvii cwZwbwa `ji m`m nq RvwZmsNmn wewfb `k GB ej Kvb KiwQjb h c~e cvwKvbi Aev m~Y ^vfvweK,
AvMK 11

wewQbZvev`x KwZcq `ywZKvwiK `gb Kiv nqQ, `ki ALZv iv cqQ| c~e cvwKvb GLb m~Y ^vfvweK I kv| `ki gvbyl hLb gibcY hy Rwoq coQ, jvL jvL gvbyl gviv hvQ, AwbZ bvix awlZ nQ, msLvnxb gvbyl wbRi wfUgvwU Qo Dv wkwei Avkq wbqQ; ZLb h jvKwU ej eovq, `ki Aev m~Y ^vfvweK mB jvK kl ch gywhyi mci kw bvgavix `j AvIqvgx jxMi bwgbkb cjv! Avh! ZvnjB eySzb| wK Giv Kviv? Abi KZ~nj njv| GZ h mvPvi K^i, GivI ivRbxwZ-dvRbxwZ Ki bvwK? Ab wRm Kijv Zv, gywhy m^ Zvgv`i fvebvUv wb| Kb nqwQj Avgv`i gywhy? Avgv`i ee Lye cwivi fvBRvb| gywhy kL gywRei f~wgKv h Kx, Avgiv Zv mwZB eywS bv| hy i nZ bv nZ Dwb Zv hP co cvwKvb Avwgi KvQ AvZmgcY Kijb| H mgq hw` knx` wRqv ^vaxbZvi NvlYv bv w`Zb, Zvnj wK G `k ^vaxb nZv, AvcwbB ejb? GUv wK Kvbv ck bq| BwZnvm hvi hv f~wgKv Zv wbavwiZ nqB AvQ| mUv wbq weZK bv Ki Avgv`i evSv `iKvi hyi KviYwU wK wQjv? G`ki gvbyl Kb Ggb cvYcY hy Suvwcq cowQj? knx` wRqvi NvlYv bB... Zv Zv eySjvg, wK hyUv njv Kb? Kvb ciYv _K? Avgv`i iZbi K_vB aiv| m Zv Avi wRqvi NvlYv b hy hvqwb| Zvnj Kb wMqwQj? Kvb ^c _K? mB ^ci K_vB Zv Avgv`i `kbx ejb| knx` wRqvi ^c mdj bv nj G`ki Kvbv fwelr bB fvBRvb| Avwg wK Zvgv`i KvQ gywhyi K_v bZ PqwQ `kbx Kx ejb mUv bq| Avi bv nq knx` wRqvi ^cUv wK wQjv mUvB AvgvK eywSq ejv| Zviv Gevi Avi Kvbv K_v ej bv| AwPiB Qjiv Pj hvevi Rb cZ nq Ges hZ hZ `~i _K wbq hvqGwb we`k _vBKv Gvnb AvBQ gywhy gvivBevi jvBMv| PzZgvivwb| GB kvjvI Bwqvi `vjvj| evc-PvPviv LvgvLvB GMv wbqv dvjvdvwj Ki| Abi gb Lvivc nq hvq| ZiYiv Zvnj gywhy ejZ ewKB evS! Avh! bv, Aev mwZ Lvivc| cwiwwZ mwZ cv MQ| GB
AvMK
52

Qjjv Kx Aejxjvq ZvK Zvi evc-`v`v Zzj MvjvMvwj Ki Mjv! A_P eq gvbyljvi eenvi `L gb nq GLbv Zviv KZ FYx nq AvQ| bv, ZiY cRbi ga Gmei evjvB bB| Abi Dcjw NU hvq Zv`i HwZnevnx AevbwU Uj hZ i KiQ| Zvi Lvivc jvM| m bv nq GB Mvg _K wewQb nq coQ, wK Zvi c~ecyiliv Zv mwZ Lye fvjvevmZb G`i! Qjjv Zuv`iK ch MvjvMvwj Ki Mjv Zuv`i AcivaUv wK? Ab cvq gylo co| wK kvv Gmei ga bB| m ek gZ DVQ ej gb nQ| Mvgi gwnjviv Rov nqQ ZvK wNi Avi m nvZ bo bo, nvwmZ DvwmZ nq M KiQ| KiK| `kUv fvwi my`i jvM Abi KvQ| kvvK Avi bv WK m GKvB Gw`K Iw`K nuU eovq, Keii KvQ wMq wbSzg nq em _vK AbKY| `ycyii w`K mvBKji Nvawb Avi Pbv Mjvi WvK kvbv hvq Ab, Ab| nwic` mvi| Ab Gm cv Quyq mvjvg Ki mvi Avcwb? GB iv`i ga K Ki GmQb| AvwgB Zv hZvg `Lv KiZ! Avmj mKvjB Avgvi hvIqv DwPZ wQjv| wK GZ jvKRb AvmQ ... Avi ZzB GZ weeZ nwQm Kb? Avwg GmwQ ZvZ wZUv wK nqQ? ZzB GmwQm b Avi _vKZ cvijvg bv i evev| fvejvg, GZw`b ci GmwQm, GKUvevi `L Avwm| Avmyb mvi, fZi Avmyb| wZwb fZi Gj, Avi Abi WvK b I mvii cwiPq cq kvv Gm Zuvi cv Quyq mvjvg Kij wZwb hb GKevi Awff~Z nq Mjb| Zvi PvL cvwb `L mUv evSv Mjv| ejjb myL _vKv gv, myL _vKv| Zzwg Zv mfvMeZx AbK cqQ, I h Avgv`i b| Ab jv cjv Kx h ejb mvi! ZzB Pzc _vK bK agK jvwMq wZwb kvvKB ejZ jvMjb Avgv`i zjUvi eqm 90 eQi| KZ nvRvi QvQvx h GLvb covkvbv KiQ, Zvici mviv `k, mviv cw_exZ Qwoq coQ Zvi Kvbv wnme bB| wK
AvMK 11

GB 90 eQii BwZnvm mePq Dj QvwUi bvg Ab nvq`vi Payix| Avgv`i eov Me IK wbq| Ab K_v Nvivevi Rb wRm Ki GLvb bvwK KjR nqQ mvi, bjvg! nuv, m Zv AbK w`b AvMi K_v| ZzB AvgwiKv hvevi ciciB Zv njv| wePvicwZ byij Bmjvg KjR| wePvicwZ byij Bmjvg KjR? Kb? KjRUv Ibvi bvg njv Kb? Kb Avevi! G Aj KjRi `vwe AbK w`bi| wZwb mB `vwe c~iY KiQb, Avi Zv KD Kibwb| ZvB wbRi bvgB ... ZvB ej Dbvi bvg KjR? KD cwZev` Kijv bv? AvcbvivI wKQy ejbwb? Avgiv ejvi K i evev? GUv Zv GKUv ivRbwZK evcvi, cwZev` Kij AZ ivRbwZKfveB Zvi iUv nIqv DwPZ wQjv, Zv Zv Avi nqwb| Avi neB ev Kb ej, Gjv h me eo gvbyl`i KvR, ivRbxwZi ivNe-evqvj`i KvR, Zviv Zv me GKB Pwii, G RbB GKvv nq AvQ| mvaviY gvbyl wK AZv mnR ^Z~Zfve cwZev` Kivi mvnm cvq? Avgiv PzbvcywUiv K_v ejevB ev Kvb mvnm? ZvB ej webv cwZev` Zvi bvg GLvb KjR cwZwZ ne? h jvKwU gywhyi mgq G `ki wei ... nuv, Avgiv mevB Rvwb m K_v| wK KD mUv gb ivLwb, mevB-B fyj MQ| Avi bv fyj Dcvq wK? GjvKvi GKRb gx, fvBm cwmWUI wQjb GKmgq ZvK GKUz nvZ ivLZ ne bv? LvgvLv Ime K_v Zzj jvf wK? Avi ZvQvov wZwb Zv GLb gywhvv nq MQb| gywhvv nq MQb? eySjvg bv mvi| GKRb ivRvKvi Avevi bZzb Ki gywhvv nq hvq wKfve? hvq, hZ cvi i evc| ZzB Zv AbK w`b `ki evBi, wdiI meZ ivRbxwZi nvjPvj evSvi Pv Kwimwb, ZvB wKQy Rvwbm bv, eywSm bv| Dwb AvIqvgx jxM Rqb KiQb bv! GLb AvIqvgx jxM GKRb ivRvKvi Rqb KijI m gywhvv nq hvq| GgbwK Mvjvg AvhgI Gm hw` AvIqvgx jxM Rqb Ki, Zvnj Zvi ga ^vaxbZvi c KvR Kivi AbK cgvY nvwRi Kie GB AvIqvgx jxMB, hgb KiwQj GB Rvwm mvne m^| 1996 mvj Zv ZvK GLvb _K AvIqvgx jxMi bwgbkb `qv nqwQj, ZLb GB `ji
AvMK
53

bZvKgxivB cPvi KiQ wZwb bvwK gywhyi mgq iWmi _K cPzi Aby`vb wbq gywhvv`i ga weZiY KiQb| A_P GB jvKwUB hLb Gi AvM RvZxq cvwU _K BjKkb KiwQj, ZLb GBme bZvKgxiv ZvK ivRvKvi ej Mvwj w`q, Zvi wei cvvi, wjdjU Qvwcq ZvK cwZnZ Kivi NvlYv w`qwQj| ZvnjB eyS `vL, Kxfve ivRvKviiv gywhvv nq hvQ| Avevi Kvb nvwjgi gZv exi gywhvvI ivRvKvi ej Mvwj bQ KviY wZwb KLbv AvIqvgx ivRbxwZ Kibwb| Ab AbKY Pzc Ki _vK| mviB cm cvvb| Gme K_v eis _vK i Ab| Gme wbq Avgv`i wKQy Kivi bB| ivRbxwZi Kvbv Pwi bB GLb G`k| Avgiv G wbq feB ev wK Kiev? ZviPq eis Zvi K_v ej| K-w`b _vKwe GLvb? wKQy wVK Ki Avwmwb mvi| h K-w`b fvjvjvM, _vKev| yj hvwe Zv? nuv mvi, wbqB hvev| KvjB hvev| bwQ AbK mviB GLb Avi bB| Lye Lvivc jvMQ b| zjUv GLbv AvgvK Lye Uvb mvi| Avwmm evev| GLbv Avgiv Zvi K_v ewj| AvQv mvi, IB KjR covkvbv Kgb nq? wUPviiv wK vbxq? Ab hb KjRi cmwU fyjZ cviQ bv wKQyZB| m Avi ewjm bv evev| mviv `k hv nQ, GLvbI ZvB-B nq| AvM gb nZv GLvb GKUv KjRi Lye cqvRb| KZ ^c wQjv hv`i kni wMq covi mvg_ bB ZvivI covkvbv KiZ cvie, GLvbKvi gvbyljv wkwZ nq DVe| GLb gb nq, KjRUvB Avgv`i mebvk KiQ| KwP KwP Qjjv KjR wMqB bZv eb hvq| Avgv`iB Qv Avgv`i mvgb wmMviU Lvq, zji gqjvK D Ki, `vKvbcvU, nvUevRvi wMq Puv`vevwR Ki, wgwQj-wgwUs Ki, gvivgvwi Ki| covkvbv Kivi mgq Kv_vq I`i? ivRbwZK bZvivI G`i ckq `q, dj Avi Kviv K_v Iiv kvb bv| bv gv-evev, bv wkK, bv Avi Kvbv iRb| KjRUvi Rb Qjjv b nq hvQi Ab| eov K nq, eov K| mvii `ytwLZ I weeY gyL `L AbiI Lye K njv| G welqUv ZvB _vwgq w`q Avevi zji cmB wdi Gjv m| wRm Kijv bZzb wkK`i K_v, Zviv KvK GmQb, Gm gvwbq wbZ cviQb Kx bv BZvw`|
AvMK 11

K_vq K_vq mviI Zzjjb evevi K_v, ejjb Zvi evevi gZv GKRb gvbyli eov cqvRb Avgv`i| wZwb wQjb Avgv`i weeKi gZv| h-Kvbv welqB wZwb wQjb Avgv`i fimv, Avgv`i Avkq; Avgiv me welq Zuvi civgk gbB KvR KiwQ eivei| GB AwffveKZ wZwb Rvi Ki bbwb, G Aji gvbylB ZuvK fvjvem, kv Ki AwffveKi Avmb ewmqwQj| wZwb Pj hvevi ciB Kgb IjvU-cvjvU nq Mjv me| ... Gme K_v Ab AvMI bQ, wK Kvb aibi mgmv evev Kxfve mgvavb KiZb, Avi KbB ev jvKRb ZuvK AwffveKi Avmb ewmqwQj, mUv Zvi KvQ wVK cwivi bq| mviK wRm Kij wZwb ejjb wVK KLb _K gvbyl ZuvK AwffveK ej gvbZ i KiwQj, ejv gykwKj| GgwbZ cvwievwiKfveB Zv Zv`i GKUv mvbRbK Aevb GB Aj AvQ, Gi GKUv cfve nqZv wQjv| gvbyl Zv GLbv mvgxq KvjPvi _K eivZ cviwb| G`k GLb ch Rwg`vi dvwgwjjvK mvbi PvL `Lv nq, GgbwK Zv`i wKQy bv _vKjI IB m~B ghv`v cvq, A_P Rwg`vwi c_v Zv KZw`b AvMB DV MQ| Zv c~ecyili Rwg`vwi wQjv, GUv Zv GKUv evcviB| Zvi `v`vi ivRbxwZI G Aji gvbyli Ici cfve djwQj| wK Zvi evevi evcviUv aygv DivwaKvim~ cvIqv, GK_v ejj ZuvK Amvb Kiv nq| Avmj cyiv gvwbKMi ga G Aji gvbylB mePq ewk `wi`, wkv-`xvi myhvMI Zv`i Kg| ZvB Zviv Ggb KvDK LuvR whwb Zv`i nq K_v ejeb, Zv`i myL-`ytL eySeb| G Aji gvbyl Zvi evevi ga mUv LuyR cqwQj| Zvi evev h ay DPwkwZ Avi cvevb wQjb ZvB bq, Zuvi gbUvI Lye eo wQjv| Kvbv gvbylKB wZwb QvU Ki `LZb bv| nqZv c_g c_g jvKRb Zv`i ewMZ QvULvUv mgmv wbqB AvmZv, Ges wZwb h mgvavb w`Zb, mjv nqZv Lye ndzj nZv Zv`i Rb| cieZxZ GB welqwUB evcKfve Qwoq co, Ges jvKRb ZvK AwffveK ej fveZ i Ki| ay QvULvUv ewMZ mgmvB bq, AbK RwUj mgmvI wZwb mgvavb KiZb| hgb, Avgv`i _vbv m`i hLb cvq fO wbq Mjv, ZLb bZzb _vbv m`i Kv_vq ne G wbq fxlY weZK i nqwQj| wSUKvi jvKRb PvwQj I`i ILvb nvK| I`i hyw wQjv, hnZz Gw`KUv cv fvOQ, bZzb _vbv GLvb nj KqK eQi ci mUvI mivZ ne| ZviPq eis GKeviB wSUKvq mwiq bqv nvK| Abw`K Avgiv PvBwQjvg
AvMK
54

Gw`KB Kv_vI _vbvUv _vKzK| Kvb mvne ZLb gx, Dwb cojb wec`, KviY cyivUvB Zuvi wbevPbx GjvKv, Avi `y-ci jvKRbB Lye k Ki ZuvK aiQ| Zv, wZwb Gjb Zvi evevi KvQ GKUv mgvavb PvBZ| Kx K_v njv KD Aek Rvbjv bv, wK Dwb Gm ejjb, Avgiv me c wgj nvq`vi fvBqi m emev| Zv, hw`b emv njv, Zvi evev ejjb `vLv, Mvgvji Dbqb NU _vbvK K` KiB| _vbv _vKj mLvb GKUv nvmcvZvj ne, zj-KjR ne, evRvi-NvU, knii m hvMvhvMi Rb ivvNvU ne| GB RbB _vbvUv hZ cZ Aj nq ZZv fvjv, hb DbqbUv knigyLx bv nq fZii w`K hvq| wSUKv nQ gvwbKM knii KvQvKvwQ, ILvbKvi jvKRb knii myhvM-myweav GgwbZB wKQyUv cvQ| wK fZii w`Ki jvKRbi Zv mB myhvM bB| _vbvUv hw` Iw`K nq Zvnj, Dbqb IB ch Gm _g hve, Avi GMve bv, dj GB GjvKvi jvKRb wbR`iK Aviv AenwjZ gb Kie| mePq fvjv nq _vbvUv AvwRgbMii w`K nj, KviY, IUvB mePq wigvU Gwiqv| mUv bv nj D`vmcyi nIqvB fvjv, KviY GB MvgUv GB _vbvi wVK K` AewZ| Zuvi GB gZvgZ mevB gb wbqwQj ejB _vbvUv GLvb nqQ| Zv, GfveB wZwb bvbv iKg mgmvi mgvavb w`Zb| jvKRbi m GKUz K_v ejjB ZzB mUv eySZ cviwe| we`vq bqvi mgq mviI ej Mjb ZzB GKevi wewQb nq _vwKm bv Ab| gvS gvS Avwmm, gvbylK mvnm w`m, fvjvevmv w`m| Zvi Zv wKQy `vwqZ AvQ, fyj Kb Pje Kb evev? wK, m wK `vwqZ cvjb Kie? Zvi wcZv, wcZvgn ev cwcZvgni Rb mgqwU wQjv Zuv`i AbyK~j| hgb `v`v Zuvi evevi cej cwZcw _vKZ _vKZB wbRi Avmb cvKv Ki djwQjb, Avevi evevI `v`vi cfve cwZcw _vKZ _vKZB GLvb Gm wbRi RvqMv Zwi Ki wbZ ciwQjb| vbxq gvbyl GKRbi ci AviKRbK cq MQ GgbwK GKB m `yRbKI cqQ wKQy mgqi Rb| dj Awbevh avivevwnKZvq Zviv Gu`iK AwffveK wnme gb wbqQ| gvSLvb Kvbv mgqi eeavbB wQjv bv| Ab KD cfve mw Ki `uvovevi mgq wKsev myhvM KvbvUvB cvqwb| GgbwK Wvvi gvgvi gZv jvKI evevi cfvei KvQ vbB wQjb ejv hvq| wK Abi Zv evcviwU miKg bq| evevi gZzi ci cvq 14/15 eQii eeavb m c_gevii gZv GLvb Gjv| gvSLvbi GB mgqUzKzZ ^vfvweK fveB k~bvb k~b _vKwb| nqZv AwffveKi RvqMvwU KD cvqwb, wK cfvekvjx
AvMK 11

nq DVQ AbKB| Zviv Abi K_v be Kb? AbK gb bqv `~i _vK, wbR`i cfve wUwKq ivLvi Rb Zviv eis ZvK cwZnZ KiZ PvBe| bv, Zvi wKQyB Kivi bB| m Ggb hy bvgZ cvie bv| wK Zvi cwZ gvbyli GB AyZ cZvkv ZvK K w`Q| AveviI gb njv GZjv eQi `ki evBi _K eov fyj nq MQ| AwffveKZi jvf Zvi bB, wK gvbyli Kvbv cZvkvB m c~iY KiZ cvi bv GB AgZvi eva eov cxov`vqK| Zvi c~ecyiliv hfve wbR`iK wewjq w`qwQjb gvbyli Rb AZ m miKgB bQ mB avivevwnKZvq m GK fqsKi Q`we`y| avivevwnK HwZni iLv IB Q`we`y _K Abw`K euK QvcvlvAvZKw`K Rxebi w`K Pj MQ| m ZvB wbQK Mwe Qvcvlv Rxebhvcb Qvov Avi wKQyB KiZ cvi bv|

AvMK

55

13 Abi gb Lvivc wQjv, Zey kvvi Drmvn weKj IK wbq cvi cvo hZ njv| GLbv cv kvB Rvqvi Avmwb GLbv, Gj ic cv hve| cvwb Nvjv ne, mvZ Zxe ne, N~wY Zwi ne Avi iMgM KvQ cvIqv evwo-NiRwg-Rgv me fO bqv i Kie m| mB i` ici K_v GLb KbvB Kiv hvq bv| weKji co big iv`i fZi, kxZj wSiwSi nvIqvi fZi, g`yg` XD `LZ `LZ Ab Avi kvv nuU eovjv AbKY, AbK `~i ch| Pvicvki KZ~njx gvbyli `w Dcv Ki Zviv KLbv nvZ aivawi Ki `uvwoq iBjv PzcPvc, KLbv `yzwg Ki cvwb wQUvjv ciiK, KLbv GKUz `o cvKwUm Kijv| Zvici `LZ `LZ weKji Avjv gyQ wMq mvi inmgq Avjv dzUjv AvKvk Ryo| weivU m~hUv jvj iO wbR iwZ nq Avi AvKvkK ivwOq w`q Wye w`jv cvi fZi| Avi ZLb, cv wbRB nq DVjv `viY inmgqx Avi icmx| bv, GB `k Kvbv AskB KevRvii Pq Kg AvKlYxq bq eis LvwbKUv ewkB, gb njv kvvi| ILvb GB inmgqZvi evcviUv Pvcv co hvq gvbyli Kvjvnj GLvb mewKQyB Kgb wbRb nq AvQ GB gyn~Z| h gvbylwUi Rxebi AbKjv eQi KUQ GB me `k `L Kxfve Zvi fvjvjvMe cw_exi Ab Kvbv RvqMv? kvviI gb njv GB mewKQyi Rb Ab mewKQy Qo GLvbB KvwUq `qv hvq mvivwU Rxeb| Kx Amvgvb nq DVQ cvi ic, `y-GKwU bKv axi Ajm fwZ Zxi wdiQ, AmsL cvwL wdiQ Ni; D`vmcyii AvKvk-evZvm Ryo bgQ Mfxi D`vmxbZv, Avi mejv gvbyl hb kxZi mKvji iv`i gZv, ev c~wYgv ivZi RvQbvi gZv mB D`vmxbZv Mvq PvL gyL gL evwo wdi hvQ| cyiv cKwZB hb ej w`Q Gevi evwo divi mgq njv| kvvi gb njv Rxeb KLbv Ggb Ni divi BwZ m `Lwb mviv cKwZ Ryo| GZYi DQjZv, Avb` me hb nVvr icvwiZ nqQ D`vmxbZv Avi ARvbv welYZvq| Kb Ggb Kuv`Z BQ KiQ nVvr? Kb gb nQ Kx ZzQ, Kx A_nxb Rxebi mKj AvqvRb! Kb eyKi fZiUv Ggb k~b gb nQ? Kb gb nQ Kv_vI KD bB Zvi, GB wecyj wekvj gnvwek m GKv, wbtm? nVvr GB wbtmZvi eva Ggb Zxe nq DVjv h, mn KiZ bv ci, A_ev fq cq Abi nvZ Rwoq aijv kvv| AbI GKnvZ ZvK Rwoq nuvUZ
AvMK 11

_vKjv, gb njv GLb Zv`iI kixi D`vmxbZv Xj `qv nQ ARvbv Kvbv Drm _K| wK GB Abyf~wZ `xNY ai ivLv Mjv bv| evwo wdi `Lv Mjv BDwbqb cwil`i Pqvigvb mvne em AvQb `jej wbq| AbK `LB Kgb AvQv Ab, fvB? Kwb ci AvBjv! `vk MuvI fyBjv _vKv Kvgb ejj Ab g`y nm kvvK fZi hvIqvi Rb Bkviv Ki| GB jvKwUi m cwiPq Kwiq w`q m kvvK Acgvb KiZ Pvq bv| jvKwU BDwbqb cwil`i Pqvigvb wbevwPZ nqQ kvbvi ci _K Zvi gb I gRvR `yUvB Lvivc nq AvQ| Avmvi ci _KB weic me cwiwwZ, Zvici Avevi g~wZgvb wefxwlKvi gZv GB jvK Abi Amn eva njv| jvKUvK GKvi ev Zvi ci Kb h gywhvviv Qo w`qwQj, K Rvb! Ab BQ KiB, ZvK weeZ A_ev Acgvb Kivi Rb gywhyi cm Zvj| wK GZUzKz weeZ ev AcgvwbZ bv nq, eis ZvKB Dv Acgvb Ki, hb m MweZ Zvi AZxZ f~wgKvq GB fwZ ejGBme WW Bmy wbqv Avi KZw`b K_v ejev? Zvgvi gig wcZv, Avgv`i mKji kq PvPvRvbI mvivRxeb aBiv Lvwj GBme cuvPvj cvBov Mvjb| wK jvf nBjv GB me eBjv? Zzwg kni _vKv, we`kwefuyBq eov nBQv, `vki cKZ Aev Rvbv bv, eSv bv| ZvB Lvwj AvRevR welq wbqv K_v ejv| Avwg bwQ AvgvMv cvjvcvb AvBwQj, ZvMvi mv_I Zzwg GBme wbqv ZKvZwK KiQv| kvbv fvB Ab, gywhyPzwhy wbqv K_v eBjv Avi Kvbv jvf nBev bv| GB `vki gvbyl GLb AbK mPZb, GZ mnR ZvMv wev Kievi cviev bv| Zzwg eovBZ AvmQv, _vKv, Nyiv, wdiv, Kvbv Amywe`v nBj Avgvi RvbvBI, wK GBme K_v eBjv gvbyli wev Kievi Pv KBiv bv| gwK, Ab Ui cvq| Aev Zvnj GBiKg? ZvK gwK `qvi gZv mvnmI Giv ARb Ki djQ? nVvr GKevi Rj DVZ PqI m _gK hvq| bv, GB jvKi m Kvbv K_v ejvUvB AiwPKi| D`vmcyi Gevi mwZ mv bvg| GLvb AvR hb `Z AKvi Nwbq Gjv| GLb bv Kc? wK AvKvk Puv` Kv_vq? mviv AvKvk Ryo GZ gN Rgjv KLb?

AvMK

56

Abi gb Lvivc| m wK Ze GB wPB `LZ GmwQj? GKRb gvbylI wK bB G ZjvU, hvi m K_v ej GKUz kvw cvIqv hve? AvR mvivw`b m gb gb gvvi PvPvK LuyRQ| Kvj _K GZ jvK Gjv A_P Zvi Kvbv LuvRB bB| mvivw`b AbiI mgq njv bv Zvi evwoZ hvIqvi| wK GLb gb njv, Zvi m K_v ejj nqZv fvjv jvMZv| evev Lye n KiZb ZvK, Lye exiZi m hy KiwQjb wZwb, cvqB mB M kvbvZb AbK| Ab kvvK wbq eivwQj gvvi PvPvi evwoZ hvIqvi Rb, wVK ZLwb wZwb Gjb cvq auK y Z auK y Z| mB Pnviv Avi bB Zvi| Kgb Kv, fO hvIqv, civwRZ gyLQwe| GZY Acvq wQjv, wK GLb gb gb wmv bq Ab Avi Kviv mB D`vmcyii cwiwwZ wbq K_v eje bv m| gvvi PvPvi mI bq| mewKQy hfve cv MQ K Rvb, hw` wZwbI...| eis evRvi gvQ cvIqv hvq Kgb, wKsev cv h fOB PjQ Gi wK Kvbv cwZKvi ne bv, KqK eQi ci Zv GB evwoI fO hve, ay GB evwo Kb cyiv D`vmcyiB cvi cU hve ZLb wK Dcvq? GB aibi Avjvc Kiv hvq| Ab KiI ZvB| gvvi PvPv UzKUvK Di `b, kvv wbR nvZ Pv evwbq Avbj Awff~Z nq ejbGB evwoi jvKjv h fvjv ne m Zv Rvbv K_vB, wK eDjvI GZ fvjv RvU KvK ejv Zv gv? kvv jv cvq, wK Kvbv K_v ejvi AvMB AKvr GKwU Zx nvwmZ ivZi wbZv Lvb Lvb nq fO Mj Ab kvv `yRbB fxlY PgK IV| Zvici kvbv hvq bvix Ki AmsjM wPrKvi| gvvi PvPvK Zey fvejknxb `L AbwK evcvi PvPv? wRm Kij Zuvi wbwj Di cvIqv hvqiZbi gv| iZbi gv? iZbi gvK Zvgvi gb bB? nuv, AvQ Zv| GLb wK GKeviB cvMj nq MQ? nuv| AvM _KB Zv GKUz mgmv wQjv, Ze Kg| GKUz-AvaUz cvMjvwg KiZv m Zv ZzwgI `LQ| gvS gvS cvMjvwgUv evoj, Mvgi gvbyl GKUz weiB nZv| mB ARynvZ Pqvigvb Avi jvKRb iZbi igvLv kvUUv cywoq djvi ci gwnjv cyivcywi cvMj nq MQ| Abi gv_vq hb AvKvk fO cojv iZbi kvU Iiv cywoq djQ? nuv| cywoq djjv? Avcbviv wKQyB ejjb bv?
AvMK 11

bv, ejjvg bv| Avgiv nwQ civwRZ RbZv Avgv`i wKQy ejZ bB| Avcbviv civwRZ? GKvi Avcbviv civwRZ nqwQjb? bv GKvi nBwb, Zvi ci nqwQ| IB jvKUvK Zv GB Aji jvKRbB fvU w`q Pqvigvb evwbqQ| A_P GKvi I wK KiQ mUv Zv KviviB ARvbv bq| Zey Kb Ggb njv, ejv? mB mgqi K_v gvbyl wK me fyj MQ? G Aj wK Avi GKRb jvKI wQjv bv h Ii Pq Avi GKUz fvjv? Avgiv mevB wbqB Ii Pq Lvivc, bBj gvbyl G iKg jvKK fvU `e Kb? GB hLb Aev ZviciI Zzwg eje h, Avgiv civwRZ bB? Zuvi K _K `ytL, vf, K I e`bv Si co| Ab nq hvq| Avey Zvgvi fwelvYx fyj cgvwYZ njv! Zzwg ejwQjgywhy iq hve G`ki gvbyli eyKi fZi| iZbi kvU `wLq ejwQj cw_exi Kvbv kwB GB kvU, GB wZwP iZbi gvqi KvQ _K Ko wbZ cvie bv| Avi hw` bq-B Zvnj Rb iLv, Avgv`i P~ov cZb NU MQ, mB cZb _K euvPvi Rb AviKwU hy ne ZLb IB hy Awbevh| Ze wK Avgv`i P~ov cZb BZvgaB NU MQ? AviKwU hy Qvov gyw bB? Ab wi, wecb, cxwoZ, z eva KiZ _vK| Avi ZLb `~i _K wejw^Z myi iZb i, I iZb... Kvbv fm Avm| hb IB Kvbv Qwoq coQ mg AvKvk| mg cKwZ hb , weg~p KvbvfRv nq DVQ| mUv evSv hvq, hLb AvKvk fO nVvr ew bg Avm| gvvi PvPvi PvL GLb fRv| AbiI PvL wfR DVjv; GgbwK kvviI h Kej MZKvjB iZb Avi Zvi gv-i K_v bQ|

iPbvKvj: g, 2000 bf^i, 2001

AvMK

57