Masquerade.

AUTHOR: Kim
E-MAIL: kim.harmel@ntlworld.com. DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I don't want them, they make me cry too much. Joss and his people do the owning thing SPOILERS: Nothing. Completely AU fic. DISTRIBUTION: Great, just let me know where. FEEDBACK: Please. RATING: R-rated AUTHOR'S NOTES: No Vamps, no slayers and the only monsters in this story are human ;^) I just wanted to write something different, this is it.

Masquerade Prologue First there was nothing. A deep black abyss of nothingness staked its claim on her soul, smothering it slowly in triumph. It was strong, fierce and ruthless. But the spirit was stronger... Slowly, one by one her five senses started to reconnect, each one breaking down the walls of unconsciousness and grasping the brand new day. It was a small room. Small, white, with a strong smell of disinfectant and something she couldn't quite put her mind to... ** Flowers** **That was it** The fragrance of fresh cut flowers fought its way bravely through the sanitised aura of the room. A sharp intake of breath confirmed the flowers in question were roses.

**Most likely long stemmed and yellow** She liked roses. She liked yellow. As the perfume filled her senses her mind was flooded with reminders of sunlight. Vibrant, warm and nurturing. **Peaceful** Inside her mind it was almost silent. The only sound that penetrated the quietness was the faint ticking of a distant clock. It's subtle tick, tick; ticking was just enough to be noticed but not enough to be annoying. Not yet anyway. Turning her head, the first thing her eyes focused on was a cheap painting of the seashore hanging crookedly on the far wall. Angry waves broke over jagged rocks but a small sliver of sunlight seemed to appease the hungry sea. In different surroundings it might have passed as pleasant but, on closer inspection, the work had been ruined by bad brushwork and to add insult to injury, a really tacky frame. The painting was unfamiliar, but then so was the hard wooden chair in the corner and the small bedside cabinet that looked surprisingly like a hospital locker, right down to the small jug of water and chipped glass tumbler. On reflection, it didn't just look like a hospital locker; it *was* a hospital locker. With that startling revelation the smell of disinfectant returned and the white sterile walls that surrounded her hard uncomfortable bed started to close in. Fighting against a wave of panic and nausea, her head slipped to the other side of the crisp starched pillow. The scenery she faced wasn't very different. The same white washed walls, a slightly different seashore painting but it still had the same tacky frame, and yet another uncomfortable looking chair. It was definitely part of a hospital. She sighed, and then she saw him. At the far end of the room the figure of a man stood at the window with his back to her, seemingly gazing into nothingness. His broad shoulders hunched slightly under a crumpled black silk shirt, and his hands were thrust into the pockets of equally dark trousers, stretching the fabric over his lean hips.

Suddenly, her skin felt hot and her mouth was too dry. As she cleared her parched throat, the slight noise seemed to cut right through his reverie, causing him to turn and stare hard in the direction of the hospital bed. "Buffy. It's about time you came back" His voice sounded like crushed velvet, each syllable smooth and soft as it slipped into the quiet room. "Back?" The patient asked the question with uncertainty as her large hazel eyes studied his expressionless face. As he moved out of the direct sunlight, she could make out his features more clearly. At a little over six feet tall, with chiseled good looks and deep-set dark eyes, the expression *Tall dark and strikingly gorgeous* didn't really do him full justice, but it was a start. "Back. Back to the land of the living, of course. It was touch and go for a while, you gave the doctors a real scare" As she carefully studied him, she noticed that *Mr.Tall dark and strikingly gorgeous* was giving off an array of confusing signals. His softly spoken voice sounded relieved but at the same time, his body language remained cool, almost distant. When she didn't speak he continued. "You've been unconscious for a while now, almost forty-eight hours" he stopped and sighed wearily "Do you remember what happened?" "Unconscious?" She started to sit up but her whole body seemed to protest against the idea. The tall dark man with enigmatic eyes sighed, pulling his hands from his pockets. In a few long strides he crossed the room. "You shouldn't try and get up yet, not until a doctor has spoken to you." His voice stayed remote but those eyes told a different story. Placing a hand on her arm he lowered her back down onto the hard mattress. She was too weak and disorientated to put up any real resistance, but it was something else that stopped her trying. The touch of his warm fingers on her bare arm caused her skin to tingle as if a small spark of static electricity had brushed over her body. It was a shock to her system in more ways than one.

For a brief second their eyes met, and he could clearly read the questions that lurked in the confusion, questions she seemed nervous to ask. In that same second, she found herself needing to breathe, and when she did, his masculine scent flooded her senses. He smelt of ivory soap and stale cigarettes. The sudden sound of a nurse's soft footsteps interrupted them, causing the man to step back and thrust his hands back into his pockets. "Good morning, sleepy head. How are you feeling?" The middle aged woman smiled. Picking up the patient's slender wrist, she checked the rate of her pulse against her watch. "I'm not too sure. It kinda hurts all over" Still smiling, the nurse removed a thermometer from her top pocket and after shaking it a couple of times, slipped it under the patient's tongue. "That's perfectly understandable in the circumstances. Just lay still until the doctor gets here, he will explain why you're in pain" Years of practice gave her voice the calming edge it needed to ease the patient's fears. "My head's beginning to really hurt" Leaning across, the nurse removed the thermometer and placed her hand to the younger woman's forehead. "Your temperature's fine, but you did take a bad knock, the swelling has only recently gone down" "Knock? Did I knock my head?" The nurse raised her eyes over the young woman's head and looked towards the other occupant in the room, when he shrugged his shoulders she returned to her patient. "I just want to ask you a few questions, just normal procedure to check for concussion. Okay? " "Sure" "Do you know what year it is?" "2003" The answer was a knee jerk reaction, it slipped over her tongue without any need for thought. "And your date of birth?" "January 19th 1981" Still not a hint of hesitancy.

"And who is the President of the United States?" The patient chewed her bottom lip slightly before answering. "George Walker Bush, unless they've finally found a way to kick him out" This time the reply was even light hearted as her confidence seemed to grow. The nurse smiled, putting her more at ease. "Good girl, no problem there at all. Just one last question and I'll get you something for that headache. Can you tell me your name" "My name? Of course I can, its..." The nurse watched and waited, as the younger woman seemed to struggle on the simplest question of them all. After a few moments she admitted defeat and her face crumbled into a large frown. Biting back tears, she slowly shook her head. " Elizabeth Angelus." The quiet words came from the other side of the room. The confused patient looked up with large grateful eyes. For a moment real fear had squeezed her heart at the failure of that question, but at least now she had an identity. She met his gaze, looking slightly puzzled. "Wait. I remember now, but not Elizabeth, I think my friends call me Buffy" He nodded, and once again moved closer to the bed. That's right, it was a childhood nickname but now everyone calls you Buffy." The voice continued softly spoken but remained devoid of all emotion. In her gratitude she didn't really notice. "Wow! That's a real relief, I was beginning to get worried there for a moment" Buffy laughed as a tinge of colour returned to her cheeks but was quickly reminded of the throbbing in her temple. Her slight grimace reminded the others. "Do you still need something for the pain?" "Please" Buffy replied trying not to nod her head and increase her discomfort. While the nurse attended to the pain relief, Buffy turned to the other presence in the

room. He bothered her in a way she didn't understand. He was definitely *tall dark and gorgeous* but there was an also a hint of something uneasy about him, something dangerous. "I'm sorry, you seem to know me and yet... Are we friends?" Turning to face her, darkness covered his handsome features. " No. We're not friends, Buffy" He snorted. Cold, almost black expressionless eyes flashed in her direction, sending a shiver screaming down her spine. "You're my wife" "WIFE? Buffy squeaked out the word in total disbelief. Whatever she'd been expecting it certainly wasn't this little bombshell. At her startled expression, her so called *husband's* face creased into a dark, almost angry frown. His broad shoulders seemed to slump beneath his shirt and she was almost certain she heard him quietly sigh. Tearing her eyes from his face, her gaze travelled nervously down the length of his muscular left arm and on reaching his fingers, it settled on what appeared to be a small, gold wedding ring. **You're my wife** At the sight of the ring, an invisible band tightened around her chest, squeezing all the air from her lungs. Biting back the acid bile that was burning her throat, Buffy's shocked eyes edged slowly to her own left hand, only to discover the third finger was suspiciously bare... Oxygen was only returned to her protesting lungs when she realised that all her other fingers were also bare. Taking a welcoming gasp, Buffy calmed herself with the knowledge that she was in a hospital bed and almost naked, so the lack of a ring at this point didn't prove or disprove anything. **This is utter madness** From the moment she awoke her life had become surreal, nothing made sense anymore. The silence that filled the room was almost deafening. Turning her head, Buffy's anxious eyes flickered back to her *husband* and the coolness this man radiated caused her to shudder. Suddenly her throat was too dry, the room was too hot and a troupe of small men with wooden clogs on their feet, danced frantically up and down inside her head.

**Okay, breathe Buffy. You remember how to do that much.. It goes in, out, in, out...** Each shaky breath caused her small chest to swell up against the rough hospital gown. "You're my wife" "We're married?.. You and me?" Buffy's large hazel eyes blinked as the information tried yet again to break through her disbelief. The man claiming to be her husband glared, only his cryptic eyes showed any real emotion. Their coolness cut through her like freezing rain, causing Buffy's whole body to tremble. Mr. tall, dark and gorgeous suddenly looked tall, dark and scary. His whole body seemed to tense up at her question. For a second, Buffy could have sworn she saw something resembling anger or even worse, bitterness flash in his deep chocolate orbs. When she looked again only indifference shone back at her. Feeling the tension between the couple grow, the nurse took a diplomatic step forward. "Buffy..." She started with a calming smile, carefully choosing the name the girl seemed more comfortable with." Do you recognise this man?" **Do you recognise this man?** The simple question brought Buffy crashing back to reality. Did she recognise him?. Looking up, she took a few more seconds to study his handsome features and then slowly nodded her head. " You're Angel?" It was more of a question than an answer. On her almost uncertain reply the nurse turned her head. "I thought your name was Liam?" She asked suspiciously. "It is. Only my wife calls me Angel" Angel snapped back, annoyed that he had to explain something so intimate to a total stranger. He ran his hand slowly over his chin and the slight growth of stubble reminded him that he'd hardly slept in three days. What with the resent stress he'd been under, and now the lack of sleep, it was no wonder he was becoming irritable. "I'm sorry, but you people already know who I am, you were the ones that called me, remember?" With a frustrated sigh he returned his voice to a softer level " All I'm

concerned about is my wife, there's obviously a real problem here" Buffy watched quietly, her eyes never once leaving his face. He was giving off the most confusing signals. Raising both hands to the side of her head, she massaged her temples, trying to rub out all the confusion swimming around in her memory. "I don't understand any of this. My head, it's all mixed up, nothing's in the right place, everything's so fuzzy..." Buffy closed her eyes begging for the blackness to swallow her again, and return her to it's warm nothingness. **Was there really a giant hole inside her head that used to hold memories of loving this man, marrying this man?. How could she possibly forget something that monumental, and yet still remember insignificant things, like the fact she liked yellow roses.** "Here, take these" The nurse held out her hand and dropped two small pills into Buffy's trembling palm. Reaching over, she filled a small glass with water from the jug on the bedside locker and carefully placed it in her patient's other hand. Without hesitation, Buffy threw both tablets inside her mouth and swallowed them down with a large gulp of water. Straightening the crumpled sheets, the nurse then offered a reassuring smile. "They should ease the pain and also help you sleep" Buffy shook her head. "I don't want to sleep, I need to understand what happened to me..." She tried to stifle the yawn that broke free but failed as a renewed wave of exhaustion attacked her whole body. "All in good time. First you need to rest. The doctor has been called and he will want to talk to both of you but, in the meantime, please try and sleep." "But I...." "Buffy, do as you're told. Close your eyes," Angel's clear voice was the last thing she heard. She wanted desperately to protest, but her eyelids were already dropping. Within seconds, the darkness was washing back over her, pulling her into its safe, silent vortex. Only one picture accompanied her on the journey.. The face of this *Angel*... who ever he was.

***** "Try not to be too concerned Mr. Angelus, a small amount of memory loss is not uncommon in cases like this." Angel sat in the cramped doctor's office several hours later. He was tired, hungry and extremely frustrated but all that was put aside by his need to understand Buffy's condition. Doctor Adam Walsh carefully studied the notes in front of him; he was nearly as tired as Angel after being on call for almost forty-eight hours. Ever since the accident two days earlier, the hospital resources had been pushed to breaking point. Every member on the staff had worked around the clock as they fought bravely to save the survivors. Slipping off a pair of thin, gold rimmed glasses, he rubbed his own tired eyes before returning his attention to the notes Angel wasn't impressed, the kid in the white lab coat didn't look old enough to be out of med. school, let alone be responsible for Buffy's care. "You said a small amount of memory loss, just how small are we talking about here?" Angel asked impatiently, his large body leaned across the desk making it clear he was sick of being brushed off. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. Refusing to be intimidated, Adam Walsh scanned the papers again. He sympathised with the anxious man but knew in cases of amnesia, there really were no text book answers, each case was different. He also acknowledged that Liam Angelus wasn't a man to be messed around. Catching sight of an important sentence, the young doctor looked back across his desk. "I understand Elizabeth recognised you, she remembered some personal information?" Angel nodded. "Sure, she remembered a pet name, but she's my wife dammit, how can she forget something like that?" A small muscle in his jaw twitched with frustration. "The accident must have been very traumatic, even though the CAT scan showed no damage to her brain, there's still the problem of shock to deal with. From what I've been told it was hell on earth out there, we don't know how much of the accident she witnessed, what horrors her mind is trying to forget. People have strange ways of handling stress. In your wife's case she seems to have shut down part of her mind." "You're saying Buffy has amnesia?" Angel asked, not liking the idea one little bit.

The doctor nodded. Adam Walsh had seen more than his fair share of amnesia cases, especially accident victims. "So how long will it last?" Angel asked. Scratching his chin, Adam considered the question carefully before replying. "We can't know, it could be an hour, a week, a year. It all depends on Buffy and her state of mind." "And in the meantime what am I supposed to do?" "At this moment in time Mr. Angelus, you know your wife better than she knows herself. She will need as much love and support as you can possibly give her. You need to take her home and treat her as normally as possible. Maybe when she's in familiar surroundings she'll feel safe enough to open her mind and let out what ever demons frightened her into closing it." "And what if her memory never comes back. What if she never remembers me?" Angel didn't even want to consider that possibility. Adam Walsh shook his head "Permanent amnesia is extremely rare, especially in cases where there was no damage to the brain. No, your wife seems to be suppressing something, all we can do is give her time" ***** Outside the hospital, Angel sat in his car and dialed the familiar number by heart, after a few short rings, the other end clicked open "Hi Cordy, it's me" His weary voice breathed deeply into the small cell phone resting against his ear. "Liam, It's about time you called, I've been worried sick" The woman's reply was both angry and concerned. Angel rubbed his hand over his tired eyes and relaxed deeper into his seat. For a hire car it wasn't too comfortable but it was better than nothing. "I know and I'm sorry, what can i say, its been a rough few days" He almost laughed at the understatement, the last few days had been a nightmare and from what the doctor had just told him, it was only just beginning. The female voice on the other end of the line soon broke him from his reverie.

"Liam, will you just cut to the chase. Is it the little bitch or not?" This time her tone was almost venomous. "Cordelia! Don't talk about her like that" Angel's mask slipped for the first time and real pain showed in his hard brooding eyes. It had been easy to hide his feelings from Buffy; months of heartache had turned him into quite the actor. Cordelia would be green with envy at the skills he had picked up. But now out in the real world, the pain he had carefully hidden for the last three months surfaced and threatened to suffocate him all over again.. "Yes, it's Buffy" His eyes softened as the memory of her smile caressed his battered heart. "And what has the bitc.. Sorry, what has your wife got to say for herself? What excuse did she try to fool you off with" "She didn't...." "Oh please, don't tell me you forgave her" Cordelia angrily interrupted. He could almost feel her contempt burn across the miles separating them. "It's not that simple, she's got amnesia" Angel shook his head, cradling the phone closer to his ear, he waited for the explosion to follow. He wasn't disappointed. "And you believed her! Liam you really are a dumbass" "That's enough. I think you should remember your place, you're my little sister, not my mother" Angel snapped, his patience now pushed passed its breaking point. For a second neither spoke, both sibling was too consumed with their own conflicting emotions to risk hurting the other. "So, now what?" Cordelia calmed her tone of voice, she knew shouting at her brother wasn't the answer. She could almost see him shrugging his shoulders as he fought for the right answer. "I guess that's up to Buffy" "You really are a big, stupid, dumb ass.." She repeated her earlier insult but this time there was real pain in her voice. Cordelia didn't give him time to reply "Liam, be careful, please, please be careful this time" At the sound of his sister's real concern Angel pulled himself together.

"Don't worry, sis. She won't break my heart a second time" Ending the call, Angel turned on the ignition and pulled away from the hospital. He seriously needed to shave, take a hot shower and change his clothes before seeing his *wife* again. **She won't break my heart a second time** The promise he'd make to Cordelia rang loudly as he drove the short distance back to his hotel. **There was no chance of that occurring, nobody played him for a fool twice** As his heart started to freeze back over, Angel made a new promise to himself. All he wanted from Elizabeth Angelus was closure and once that happened...she could go to hell for all he cared.

"How long now?" "She's been out for about twelve hours" "I think it's time you woke her" ~~~~~~ Voices, distant and jumbled broke into the warm dark place that cradled her mind. Reluctantly, Buffy lifted her heavy eyelids and with the first whiff of disinfectant, she realised what she'd thought was a nightmare had started all over again. "Hello Elizabeth" "I'd rather you call me Buffy," She replied without even looking up. When Buffy finally did pull herself up, she was greeted with almost navy blue eyes. "Of course, Buffy it is," Adam Walsh smiled warmly at his patient. His handsome young face and light blonde hair immediately putting her at ease. "I'm Dr Walsh and I've been overseeing your treatment for the last few days." Adam added as he turned and picked up her chart from the clipboard at the foot of her bed. After scanning the results of the last few tests, and being pleased with their readings, he turned his full attention back to his patient. "So, Buffy, how are you feeling now?" He asked, replacing her notes and removing a

small penlight from his coat pocket. "I think the word *confused* sums it up perfectly." Buffy replied as she sat up and adjusted her ill-fitting hospital gown. "That's understandable" Adam murmured. Leaning forward, he shone a tiny beam of the light first in to her left eye and after watching the pupil's response, transferred it to the right. "And are you still having difficulty remembering?" Buffy blinked as the bright beam of light hit her eyes. "Yes" "From what I've been told you were a very lucky woman. Considering the injuries of the other victims, you seem to have escaped lightly," Adam switched off the light and returned it to his top pocket. "Escaped?" Buffy's voice was barely a whisper. Cold fear started creeping through her veins. As much as she needed to hear this information, the unknown that was once her past, terrified her. Adam Walsh watched the frightened young woman's face and hoped she was strong enough to learn the truth about the accident. In normal circumstances he would have waited for her husband to be present, but these were far from normal circumstances. " You were involved in an accident, Buffy. We've been having some real freak weather here in New York this last month. Some of the worst storms in twenty years. It seems the bus you were travelling on lost control in the heavy rain, and it crashed. There were a lot of other vehicles involved. It's been chaos here the last few days; there were so many fatalities. Sadly, only three of the bus passengers survived, two of them, an elderly couple, are in intensive care and the third, well, that's you." Buffy felt the air sucked out of her lungs as the doctor's words entered her head. "Oh God!" Her pretty face lost all colour as the blood drained away in shock. "The paramedic who brought you in said you were thrown clear before the bus burst into flames. Apart from a badly sprained ankle, a few nasty cuts and bruises and of course the knock to your head, you came out of it pretty unscathed" "I think I'm going to be sick" Buffy threw her head forward and wrenched, but her

stomach was too empty to comply. Rubbing his hand over her back in support, the doctor gently persuaded her to lay back against the pillow. "You will need to keep off that foot for a few days, but apart from that, you'll be fine" Raising her fingers to her face, Buffy gingerly traced the row of butterfly stitches that snaked across her cheek. She knew from the pain that it was only one of many cuts and bruises covering her body. "The cuts to your face are only superficial, they'll heal without scaring," The doctor added softly on seeing the fear in her eyes. Buffy bit into her bottom lip as hot salty tears started to burn. "After hearing about the other passengers I guess my pathetic worries make me look pretty superficial" Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks as she lowered her hand. "Of course not, you are a beautiful young woman, it's only natural you would be concerned. Try not to worry too much, just rest and let time do the healing" Buffy sniffed back the last of her tears, she was thankful for the kind words but they failed to make her feel any better. She couldn't help feeling ashamed of her reaction. People had burned to death and here she was worrying about her face. A few scars should be the least of her problems. On reflection they were. "And what about my memory, or the lack of it?" She asked, finally pulling herself back together. Adam knew this question was coming and he replied with the only answer he could.... The truth. "As I've already discussed with your husband, these things are quite common. A knock to the head or a traumatic experience can often lead to these problems. It's just like your other injuries, Buffy. We just have to give them time." **Time** Buffy laid back and closed her eyes. At least she was alive, and unlike most of the other passengers on that bus, she did still have *time* on her side.

She also had something else A Husband she couldn't remember and now survivor's guilt she would never forget **Would the nightmare ever end?** **** "I would kill for a shower" Buffy sighed running her fingers through her lank and greasy hair. Now she was fully awake, she longed to stand beneath a jet spray of hot water and wash away, not only the sweat and dirt of the last few days, but also all the confusion and pain that invisibly coated her body. Even though she still couldn't remember the accident, the smell of death seemed to linger on her skin. Her greatest fear was that mere soap and water would never be enough to remove its stench from her soul. The news of the accident had been a real shock, but Buffy knew it wasn't the only ghost that haunted her past. Something even darker lurked behind the black hole that had replaced her memory, something even harder to accept than the fact she had almost been killed. "Sorry, you can't visit the shower room yet, it's too soon, you really don't want to get your stitches wet" Buffy looked up. "You also need to rest that foot for a few more days" The nurse replied apologetically as she straightened her patient's bedding. "What about a bath then, anything, just so i can feel human again" Buffy continued to plead her case and tried to leave the dark thoughts that had swamped her to one side. She seriously needed a distraction, even if it was only for an hour, she needed desperately to relax.. Because if she could relax, then maybe, just maybe she could remember. "You're missing the point, honey, you're not allowed out of bed. If you fell on that ankle you could seriously hurt yourself." Buffy almost laughed "Didn't you hear? I'm invincible" The sarcastic reply was ignored. On Buffy's defeated expression the nurse softened. "How about I wash your hair for you, a blanket bath maybe?" she offered, feeling a new wave of sympathy for the younger woman's plight.

At the offer, Buffy's large hazel eyes lit up and smiled back warmly at the kindness. For a split second, she seemed to remember the face of her mother; it was no particular memory, just a warm caring face. It wasn't much, but it was a start and in that second, the picture brought her real hope. "Besides, we can't have you looking all grubby when that handsome husband of your arrives." "Thank you" Buffy replied, but suddenly the happiness she was feeling slipped away. Just the thought of Liam filled her with trepidation. She certainly wasn't looking forward to seeing him again. **Not looking like this anyway** Buffy didn't like where that thought came from and quickly closed it off. There was something odd about the way Liam's cold dark eyes washed over her. He was incredibly good looking and as sexy as hell, but, no matter how hard she tried, Buffy couldn't shake the feeling that something bad had passed between them. As the nurse wrapped a towel around her shoulders and poured warm water from a jug over her head, Buffy frowned Without a doubt, Liam was one of her ghosts.. "There!.. You look as pretty as a picture" The nurse pulled Buffy's freshly washed hair back into a ponytail and snapped on a small coloured band to hold it in place. Even without a trace of makeup, she could tell the young woman was a real beauty. Buffy's large hazel eyes were framed with the longest lashes and her perfect silky skin, apart from the abrasions received in the accident, was the colour of golden honey. There was only one thing that worried the nurse, and that was the girl's weight, or lack of weight. Her petite patient was far too thin; she looked as if she hadn't eaten properly in weeks. Leaning forward, the concerned nurse tied the small strings at the back of Buffy's ill fitting nightgown and tried not to notice the ribs poking through her skin. "We really must get you something new to wear, this hospital gown doesn't look at all comfortable" She added adjusting the large starched pillows behind Buffy's head. At her soft words, Buffy looked down at the simple cotton gown and smiled. "That would be nice, this kinda itches in all the wrong places" She giggled and for the first time that morning, her fear of the unknown was pushed aside. In that instant, Buffy's whole face changed, and with the new sparkle of light dancing across her eyes, she looked like a completely different person.

"You need to smile more, it really suits you" The nurse smiled back, pleased with the transformation. At the compliment, her patient blushed, a small tinge of colour highlighting her pale cheeks. **Pale thin cheeks** As diplomatically as possible, the nurse broached the subject of food. "Do you think you could manage something to eat? I could order you something light, maybe some eggs?" She offered hopefully Buffy wrinkled her nose. "Not a good idea..." she frowned sadly as a wave of nausea washed over her. In the confusion of the last few hours, all thoughts of food had been pushed out of her head. It was hard enough just keeping water inside her stomach. The nurse still wasn't happy and tried a different approach. "You need to get your strength back as soon as possible, Buffy. Doctor Walsh will never discharge you until you do." **Discharge me, I hardly know what day it is** As the well meaning words entered her head, reality snapped back in. The turmoil returned like a mist swirling over the sea, its presence once again smothering the light from Buffy's eyes. Watching the change cover her face, the nurse tactfully changed the subject. "So, the blanket bath was a success?" She asked, turning to the bedside locker, she started picking up the damp towels and after folding them neatly, she placed them on her trolley. Buffy nodded, it wasn't the shower she had dreamed of but it was a real relief to feel clean again "Thank you, you've been very sweet, nurse...?" Leaning forward, she squinted to read the small nametag on the front of the woman's uniform. "Tara, you can call me Tara. Unless there's a doctor in the room" Tara winked back and picking up the bowl of dirty water; she turned and pushed her trolley towards the door. Just before leaving, she stopped and turned her head back.

"Buffy... Try to remember what the doctor told you, it's just superficial." Buffy looked up from her bed and their eyes met for a moment and held. Finally pulling her gaze away, she nodded her head indicating that she understood perfectly. "Sure, just superficial" With one last smile, Tara left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. As her small world returned to its quiet, peaceful state, Buffy let her eyes drop down into her lap. Sitting cradled between her fingers was the small make up mirror she had earlier requested. Not that she was worried about applying her lip-gloss, at that moment; a makeover was the last thing on her mind. For a few minutes she just sat quietly turning the mirror over in her hands but never once looking into its face.. Just knowing it was there caused a dozen different emotions to run screaming through her body. Fear, anticipation, curiosity, uncertainty... Running her tongue nervously over her dry lips, she studied the back of the small looking glass as if it held the secrets to the universe, and in a strange way, it did. At least the universe she had once lived in.. Both Tara and Doctor Walsh had offered to be with her when she took that first look, insisting that this was something she shouldn't have to face alone. But Buffy had argued, and won. This was definitely something she needed to do on her own. Taking a deep breath she raised the mirror to her face and slowly opened her eyes. "Oh God! Thank you." A small prayer of relief slipped softly over her tongue. The reflection staring back at her was one she instantly recognised. The many cuts and bruises covering her skin didn't surprise her, they were pretty much what she had come to expect. The large black eye was a bit of a shocker, but all in all, her face wasn't too horrifying. Raising her hand, her fingers traced lightly over the line of butterfly stitches on her cheek, before moving across her nose and stopping at her swollen left eye. **You seem to have escaped lightly** Adam Walsh's words filtered into her head and lingered. It was true, an inch either way and she could have been blinded, or maybe even worse. But she wasn't. Somehow a miracle had given her the chance to see another day. Amnesia wasn't such a high price to pay after all. Buffy sighed deeply and a single tear slipped over her dark lashes and trickled silently down her cheek. But it wasn't the sight of her injuries that caused her to cry with relief, under all that trauma, she finally saw something she remembered.

"I know you, you're Buffy.....Buffy Anne Summers" She smiled softly and watched her eyes reflect back the pleasure she felt at seeing a familiar face, even if it was only her own. **Buffy Anne Summers** For reasons she didn't understand, this was the name that best fitted the reflection. Buffy shivered, she recognised the name and the face, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find a single memory of being the person. **Your name's Elizabeth Angelus** At the new thought, Buffy shook her head, she didn't know that person either, but out of the two, she knew which one she preferred. A small rap at the door caught her attention and before she could call out, it opened. "Can I come in?" Angel asked but didn't wait to be invited. In a few long strides he was standing at her bedside, the same stoic expression masking his handsome face. "How are you feeling?... " He asked as calmly as he could manage. Just seeing his wife looking so vulnerable had awoken feelings Angel didn't want to acknowledge. He had stood outside her room for thirty minutes, waiting for the nurse to leave and in all that time, pictures of their past life together taunted his head. As he walked into her room, it took every ounce of determination he possessed not to tell her just how much he really cared. On seeing her new visitor Buffy attempted to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. It felt strange looking at a man who she obviously shared so much of her life with, but no matter how hard she tried, Buffy couldn't find a trace of that life in her memory. Liam Angelus had just fallen into a big dark hole of nothingness inside her head. Feeling slightly sick, Buffy reached over for a glass of water and to fight the effect of the nausea, she sipped the cool liquid slowly. In the quiet room, her empty stomach growled out loudly as the water reminded her again that she hadn't eaten in days. Lost in thought, her fingers must have trembled because suddenly Angel was reaching over and removing the glass of water from her hands. "Here, let me take that for you before you soak the whole bed" His deep rich voice sent prickles over her skin. **Maybe this man hadn't fallen completely into that black hole after all** Buffy looked up as his face closed in and she felt a slight tug in her chest. There was

obviously something between them; just his nearness set alarm bells ringing in her blood. It was just so confusing. He said he was her husband and sometimes he looked as if he really worried about her, but there was definitely something missing between them. There was just something in his eyes, or maybe there was something missing from his eyes. *Were they close. Had they ever been close?* Far too many questions and no where near enough answers made Buffy's mind even more jumbled. Pulling up a small chair Angel sat down. He forced his eyes not to stare at the small row of butterfly stitches that snaked across her cheek and involuntarily found himself hoping they wouldn't leave a scar. The thought of Buffy's lovely face being disfigured had haunted his dreams every night since the accident. No matter how much she had hurt him, he couldn't help feeling that she didn't deserve that. "I've spoken to your doctor" His voice was soft when he spoke and although it gave nothing away, it surprised her. "Me too "Buffy smiled back again, trying to lighten the mood between them. If they really were husband and wife they should at least be able to talk to one another. But her pleasant smile was ignored and his face remained stoic. "They want to keep you in for a few more days, just for observation. Are you all right with that?" Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Why wouldn't I be alright with it?" She asked confused at such a strange question. "I just thought with your fear of hospitals and such..." Her vacant expression portrayed that she had no idea what he was talking about. "Hospital fear? Sorry, just add it to the long list of things I seem to have forgotten!" Buffy apologised for not understanding and waited for a deeper explanation. Angel shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he remembered the first time she had confided her phobia. Not long after they married, Buffy had woken one morning in incredible pain, she was immediately rushed to the emergency room with a suspected Appendicitis. It turned out to be a false alarm, only a touch of food poisoning, but Buffy had been almost hysterical at the thought of staying in overnight. She explained about a cousin who had once died in hospital when she was a child and the irrational fear had followed her into adulthood. Angel had stayed by her bedside the whole night, never moving in case she woke up and thought she was alone.. **You should know better, Buffy. I'll never leave you**

It was only that promise that had kept her in the hospital that night. Angel almost smirked at the memory, but deep in his chest, his heart ached at the irony. "You once told me you hated hospitals, they ..." Buffy watched carefully as he explained her childhood fear in more detail. As the words passed between them her eyes carefully studied his body language. He seemed tense, almost as if he were holding back a torrent of emotion she had yet to see. It baffled her but then again so much about this man confused her. He looked different today. When she had first woken the man greeting her had looked a wreck, all being a drop dead gorgeous wreck. Now was a different story. Liam had shaved, gelled his hair in to tiny spikes and swapped the crumpled black outfit for blue faded jeans and a dark navy sweater. Mr. tall dark and gorgeous suddenly appeared Mr. tall dark and breathtaking. "How's your head?" Realising that he had stopped talking and was waiting for an answer, Buffy raised her hand and ran her fingers lightly over the small bump. "I think my head's still there" she smiled at his concern and this time her eyes sparkled. Angel felt himself drawn into the deep hazel pools and felt a pang of regret crush his chest. He'd always loved her eyes; they were the windows to her soul.. "I see you haven't lost your sense of humour" he grinned, determined not to let her see the effect she was having on him. "No, just the memory" Buffy playfully grinned back. For the first time she found herself relaxing and enjoying his company. Without either noticing, the tone of their voices changed and as they continued the conversation, they sounded more like lovers than strangers " You were so lucky, Buffy. You could have died" His warm brown eyes looked distant for a moment. "Liam? You weren't with me on the bus, right?" This was a question that had played on her mind more than once. Even though she'd already been told there were only three survivors, Buffy couldn't help wondering where her husband had been that day. Angel shook his head and his eyes filled with regret. She hadn't called him Liam since the first few weeks of their relationship. Buffy had shortened his surname Angelus to Angel and had used the endearment as a pet name just between the two of them. Cordelia nearly

had a fit the first time she heard it. His sister had cried with laughter but it hadn't worried him at all. He loved the way the new name caressed his wife's tongue. As the memories continued, the pain in his heart grew, It seemed so long ago now, back in the days when his sister and wife had been the closest of friends... And then out of nowhere Buffy had ruined everything. Angel slammed the door shut on the past and brought his mind back to Buffy's question. You weren't on the bus with me, right? "No. The police think you were travelling alone" he replied honestly. Buffy crinkled her forehead as she struggled to delve into her memory but no matter how many times she tried, there were still no answers to be found. "Where was I going?" The not knowing was driving her crazy. "From what I understand the bus was leaving New York." " We live in New York?" she asked hopefully. Angel shook his head "We live in a small town called Sunnydale." At the name of their hometown Buffy looked at a loss "You don't remember Sunnydale?" "No" The name meant nothing. "Do you remember any of the accident?" He asked curiously Buffy bit her lip and stared at him blankly for a few seconds before replying "No. Just waking up" Into this nightmare she added silently. A nightmare that seemed to grow more confusing by the second. "So what do you remember?" Angel persisted with his questioning. "Well...Umm...The president of the United States, I got that one right" Buffy joked. She knew she was clutching at straws, there were other insignificant things she remembered, but that wasn't what Liam wanted to know.

His next question proved her right. "What about me Buffy, you said you recognised me. How much do you remember about us?" the faintest hint of a humourless smile crossed his lips as he waited for the answer. Angel had waited a long time for this moment, he wasn't going to like what he heard, but he needed to know all the same. " I remembered your name.." Her eyes looked away. "And?" Angel fought to get the word out, he swore she almost looked embarrassed. Buffy bit her lip again, unsure of herself. After a few frustrating seconds she shook her head. "That's all.. I'm sorry, I know you said that I'm your wife but... but I don't remember you at all" Angel sighed with disappointment, it was worse than he first thought. Until Buffy remembered her past, neither of them would ever find the peace they were both searching for. An uncomfortable silence fell between them. "Tell me about my family" Buffy asked startling him slightly. Angel wasn't sure if it was a good idea but they had to begin somewhere. "There's not really much to tell. Your mother, Joyce, she died before we met. She was killed one night coming home from the gallery she owned. That just left you and your sister, Dawn. Dawnie's away in college at the moment. Your father's alive but you haven't had contact in a while.. Buffy?.. Buffy are you all right?" Angel stopped talking on seeing a stream of tears run unchecked down her cheeks. Her small shoulders shook and his heart melted at the sight. He'd always hated seeing his wife cry. Drawing her legs up to her chest, Buffy wrapped her arms around them. She suddenly looked like a small child again, her features covered in grief. "I remembered something earlier today, just a face really. It was my mom's. I... I didn't remember her being dead ... I'm sorry, I know this is stupid but it feels like I've just lost her all over again" Her small voice broke. The pain and exhaustion of the last few days finally taking their toll. Picking up her hand for the first time, Angel absentmindedly caressed her fingers. He suddenly had a crazy urge to put his arms around her and tell her that everything was going to work out fine, that he would take care of her.. She was his life and the explanations he looked for didn't matter any more.. But they did matter and the romantic thoughts shook him right down to his toes....Denial returned quickly. He didn't want to

take care of her, he wanted to cut her heart out and use it for target practice, just as she had done with his, three months earlier. "So, apart form my sister, I've got no one" Buffy sniffed, feeling even more sorry for herself. At her careless words a cold shiver run down Angel's spine. He closed his eyes for a moment and when he re-opened them, his mask returned and covered his face, draining all the emotion he felt from his features. There was a time, not long ago, when all Buffy had ever wanted was him, he had been enough. Dammit, he had been everything to her, just as she had always been enough for him.. As his fury rose, Angel slammed the door shut on those sickening memories; he simply couldn't bear to remember the lies that had broken his heart. Realising he was holding her fingers, Angel dropped them, almost as if they burned his skin. "You're not completely alone, Buffy. You have a few close friends." he sneered at the thought. **They had all taken her side. Buffy could never do anything wrong in their eyes. All except one** Looking up, she didn't seem to notice the coolness return to his eyes. Buffy wasn't sure how she felt at that moment. Finding out she was almost totally alone in the world scared her more than she wanted to admit. This man, this stranger who held her hand for a few moments might act indifferent but she had felt warmth in his touch, a glimmer in his eyes that didn't lie. She knew for some reason he cared about her more than he wanted her to know. Something else scared her, when Liam was holding her hand she had the strangest feeling she never wanted him to let it go.. Suddenly she was beginning to believe that there was maybe something between them after all. Taking a calming breath, Buffy looked back into Angel's dark eyes "And there's you" She whispered as she wiped away her tears. Angel didn't answer her, he couldn't. Everything was becoming too confusing. Months of bitterness had kept his anger strong but every time he looked into her eyes, he was reminded of all the reasons he had loved this woman in the first place. It terrified him .. No matter how much he wanted to hate her, his lonely heart continued to rebel. Angry at his weakness, Angel pulled all his bitterness to the front of his mind. "Do you want me to take you home, Buffy?"

"Home?" To Buffy, the word sounded almost unreal. Flashes deep inside her mind told her that home was were the heart was, home was warm and safe and smelled of chocolate cookies and family.. Not strangers with cold hands and even colder hearts. But where else is there to go??? Her head whispered back sadly "Well...?" Angel asked impatiently, at her hesitation, he couldn't stop the twinge of bitterness that entered his voice Buffy sighed deeply; there really was nowhere else. "Yes, take me home..." When Angel arrived, bright and early the next morning, he was carrying an armful of expensive looking shopping bags. Just finishing her nightshift, Tara Giles caught sight of the handsome young man as she wearily headed for home. She watched for a moment as he slowly climbed the hospital stairs. Liam looked tired again, his shoulders were slightly slumped and his deep brown eyes seemed lost in a world of their own. Tara was usually a good judge of character and she knew immediately that things were not as they seemed with this man. While working on Buffy's rehabilitation, she hadn't failed to notice how he acted around his young wife. Liam Angelus always seemed so cool, calm and collected with Buffy, but when he thought he wasn't being observed, his emotions were an entirely different story. Where Buffy was concerned he was definitely hiding his true face behind a stoic mask. As she studied him more closely, Tara noticed a sadness about Liam that she'd rarely seen before. He showed all the classic signs of nursing a badly broken heart and yet that little scenario didn't make any sense at all. His wife, who even a complete stranger could see he adored, had miraculously survived the accident intact. Memory loss might be troublesome but it was far from being life threatening. Dr. Walsh had already confirmed that Buffy's amnesia had a 90% chance of being only temporary, and that the rest of her injuries would soon fade from sight. In no time at all Buffy had a great chance of being the same person she was before the accident. On that information alone, Liam should have been the happiest man alive, but it was very clear to Tara that for some unknown reason he wasn't. From the dark look on his face as

he reached the top step, Liam was a million miles away from being happy. As he rounded the corner of the hospital and finally disappeared from her view, Tara sighed. Her patient, who she had grown very fond of, was going home with this man in a few days time. Turning towards her car, Tara Giles hoped with all her heart that Buffy wasn't making a big mistake. ****** After inquiring about his wife's condition with the nurse on reception, Angel pushed open the door and quietly entered her room. That morning the small, sterile room was bathed in soft golden sunlight, its' warm rays falling gently across Buffy's bed. As Angel moved closer he noticed that she was still sleeping peacefully. Her pale face resting against the hard pillow looked totally relaxed in its slumber. The swelling to her left eye seemed to have reduced and the beauty that lurked beneath the bruises shone out like a beacon in the dark. "Angel" The sudden murmur of his name was so quiet that he almost missed it. For a second he thought she was waking, but Buffy only sighed in her sleep and rolled over. In her new position, the soft rays of golden sunlight now highlighted her whole face. Her long blonde hair spilling softly across the pillow like an angelic halo. At the sight, Angel's breath hitched in his throat and he was certain he felt his heart break for the millionth time. Sitting quietly in the bedside chair, he watched as she continued to sleep for another hour, all the time refusing to give into the bitter tears that stung the back of his eyes. With every minute that slowly ticked by, Angel's resolve grew stronger. **It didn't matter how beautiful she looked, he would never let her get close enough to hurt him again** **** "Good morning, or should I say afternoon?" At the sound of his smooth voice Buffy's lashes flicked and slowly opened. For a few seconds she seemed disorientated but as the haze of confusion lifted, the corners of her mouth turned into a small smile.

"Hi....." She finally returned the greeting to her early morning visitor. **He's not a visitor, he's your husband** The little voice inside her head reminded her quickly. Although Buffy still had problems thinking of Liam as her husband, she made a firm decision the night before to try a lot harder. If they were ever to get back to normal, or as close to normal as possible in the circumstances, she would have to accept without question that they had once shared a life together. It would be hard but it wouldn't be impossible... Or at least she hoped it wouldn't Slowly sitting up she curiously eyed the bags he was holding. "Your nurse, the one who was in here last night, she told me you needed a few things. I went shopping," Angel said casually dropping the parcels he'd purchased onto her bed. "A few?" Buffy's eyes lit up. " It looks like its Christmas morning." She smiled and reached excitedly for the first bag. Angel watched quietly as an almost childish quality covered her beautiful features. For a second he was almost tempted to question her answer, which Christmas morning was she referring to? But just the look in her eyes made him hold back. For the first time since she had woken from the accident, the pain and confusion that had taken residence upon Buffy's face seemed to have faded from sight. A few parcels had done more than any pep talk could have. Without meaning to, Angel found his own face smiling back at her. "I bought you some nightwear, a few toiletries and some clothes to travel home in. I hope they fit, Buffy. The jeans and shirt might be a little on the large size, you seem to have lost weight recently." His eyes hadn't failed to notice how tight her skin now stretched over her small frame. **You seem to have lost weight recently** Buffy thought the remark a little strange, surely she couldn't have lost that much weight in just a few days. But as she opened the next bag her attention switched to its contents. "I..... I wasn't too sure of your bra size so I brought a few different ones" Angel stuttered slightly as the garments came into view. Buffy looked up and caught the blush that crossed his cheeks before he had time to remove it. Looking back at the cream silk and lace underwear, she found herself wondering if he had ever bought her gifts like this before. "They're lovely and I really appreciate you going to so much trouble..." Buffy gasped as she pulled a pale blue, silk, nightgown from a gift-wrapped package. When she looked

back up, her eyes were once again filled with questions. "What about my own clothes?" she asked quietly. Angel sat back down in the chair next to her bed. "The ones you were wearing were ruined in the accident. If you had any luggage on the bus it was destroyed in the fire. Of course, there's a possibility that the rest of your clothes are safe but because you can't remember where you were staying..." "But surely you must know, I must have told you where I was going" Buffy interrupted. Angel slowly shook his head. "No" His voice was cold. "This is getting more confusing by the second. How did the hospital know who I was? How did they know where to find you? "They found your driving license and passport close to the wreckage" Angel noticed how pale she suddenly looked. Leaning forward he gently picked up the new nightgown, running the soft material through his fingers. The second he had seen it in the shop window he knew it would look beautiful against her golden skin. " Buffy, why don't you get changed, I'm sure you'll feel much better once you're back in normal clothes." The subject was changed. "Liam, please, I really need to understand..." Buffy changed it straight back again. But Angel wasn't in the mood to be manipulated; the darkness that passed across his eyes made it perfectly clear that the conversation was over. "We can talk about this later" Standing abruptly, he turned and walked towards the door. "I'll see if that nurse is around, you might need some help" Without even looking back, Angel carried on out the room. ****** Five days later The fire burned. It tickled and teased, as it's hot red tentacles licked at her skin. Buffy reached out her hand and watched in horror as the once smooth texture of her tanned arm crinkled and blistered as it slowly melted from the bone. Pain bubbled up in her throat but when she

tried to scream, the sound was lost. Lost deep in a maze of confusion. There was nowhere left to run nowhere safe to hide and no one she could trust. Backing into her shell she watched as the red evil moved ever closer, engulfing her in its heat and anger. With her last breath she screamed. "ANGEL.." "Hey!" The soft calming word instantly brought her out from the terror of her dream. Buffy slowly opened her eyes and blinked as warm brown orbs filled with concern stared deeply into her face. "You were dreaming, only dreaming, Buffy" his gentle voice smothered her, washing away the pain of the fire. Buffy's whole body trembled as she tried to sit up in her seat. All around her, the other passengers on the aircraft were already beginning to look away from the strange young woman who had called out so fearfully in her sleep. Forgetting the embarrassment that would have normally turned her cheeks scarlet, Buffy concentrated on controlling the violent trembling that had invaded her body. "Sssh, It was only a dream" Angel continued to try and reassure his wife. The look of terror on her face was beginning to scare him. "But it seemed so real" Buffy shook her head refusing to accept the truth for a few moments. Everything about the dream had been so real she could almost taste it. "Was it the accident? Did you remember something?" Angel leant forward curiously. Buffy closed her eyes as the visions continued to taunt her head. But no matter how hard she tried to put them in order, they were still nothing more than a jumbled mess. "No, I don't think so. But even if it was, it didn't make any sense" Angel couldn't help the small sigh of disappointment, for a moment he actually believed his wife was breaking through her blocked mind. He should have known better. Buffy laid her head back against the headrest of her seat and let the low drones of the aircraft soothe her fragile nerves. *** It was a long; tiring, flight from New York back to Sunnydale but the first class seats had made the journey slightly more bearable. Buffy's foot was still heavily bandaged and every thirty minutes she had to manoeuvre it in an attempt the stop the beginnings of

cramp from setting in. Originally, Angel had offered to drive them back to Sunnydale in his hire car, but the thought of travelling on the freeways so soon after almost being killed, was simply too much for Buffy's state of mind. Just the short ride to the airport had been a nightmare. To Buffy, it seemed as if her whole new life was just one long nightmare after another. The last week had passed in a blur and before she had time to realise it, she was being discharged and sent home. It felt strange leaving the hospital, in its own way it had become a security blanket, a place where she actually felt safe. Now faced with the outside world and a husband she still didn't know, Buffy was hesitant to take the first step to rehabilitation. For some strange reason she couldn't quite understand, she felt as if she was stepping out of the frying pan, straight into the fire. Standing on the steps outside the hospital entrance, her new friend had hugged her and wished her well. Tara slipped a small piece of paper into Buffy's pocket and told her that if she ever needed somebody to talk to, all she had to do was pick up the phone. At the sweet gesture, Buffy hugged her back, almost afraid to let go. Adam Walsh then approached her; the good-looking doctor shook her hand and informed her that all her notes had been transferred to the hospital in Sunnydale. With an almost sad smile, he told his patient that any future treatment would be carried out there and he hoped it wasn't too long before her life became clearer. Lowering herself into the passenger seat of Angel's car, Buffy waved goodbye to her new friends until her eyes were so blurred with tears she could no longer see them. *** Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She still couldn't believe she'd actually agreed to go home with a man she still had no memory of even marrying. Turning her head slightly, she carefully studied her travelling companion/husband. He was handsome, in a drop dead gorgeous sort of way. He seemed intelligent, even considerate on occasion. The clothes he had brought her were expensive and tasteful. But what did she really know about this man. **Nothing** **No, that wasn't true** He was cold and distant and sometimes even hostile..

Buffy struggled to find it in her heart to accept the truth. How could she have married a man who plainly didn't love her? She sneaked another look at him and found his enigmatic eyes studying her intensely- as if he too, was reassessing the person he had once known. **The person she couldn't remember being.** **The person that might be lost forever.** She needed answers and he was the only one that could tell her. "Liam, how did we meet?" Buffy started nervously. Angel thought about the question very carefully before replying. He knew it made no sense lying. He understood that if he wanted to help Buffy remember her past, he would have to tell her certain things about their life together. Taking a deep breath, he brought the memory of their first meeting to the front of his mind and let it play out painfully before his eyes. " You said it was lust at first sight. It must have been, because you chased me clear across Sunnydale, as I remember" Angel found himself smiling at the reminiscence. In his mind, he could see the younger version of Buffy as clear as day. Her hair was much longer in those days and she had the largest hazel eyes he had ever seen. At the revelation, Buffy's jaw dropped open in shock. After the way Liam had behaved towards her the last week, it was the last thing she had expected to hear. If Angel noticed the amazed expression cover her face he didn't comment on it. His own expression seemed to take on a whole new life. For the first time Buffy saw the real man behind the mask he wore so securely.. Lost in a trip down memory lane, Angel continued with his story. " You were relentless and ruthless" he grinned " But that's you all over Buffy. When you set your mind to something there's no changing it" "Oh?" Now she really was speechless. "Not that I didn't want to be chased." He chuckled lightly and the warm sound tugged at her heart. "You were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, but that was the problem..." Buffy opened her mouth again but she was still doing an impression of a goldfish. Her lips moved but no sound was made as she struggled to come to terms with the information about her past..

"You were a mere girl when we first met and I was terrified about the difference in our ages. At the time your mother had just died and I was acting on behalf of your father, he wanted custody of Dawn. I was working for Wolfram and Hart in those days; they were a large law practice in LA. It was a Friday afternoon, I'll never forget, you flew into my office like a tornado from hell. " At that point Angel looked up, his eyes burning with repressed feelings. Buffy couldn't speak, or move, or hardly breathe as she waited for the story to continue. "You were so tiny but you fought like a tiger. I don't think Hank Summers ever knew what really hit him..." Buffy finally found her voice. " You were helping my father take my little sister away from me?" she finally asked with disbelief. Angel nodded "For a while. After I read the case notes and talked to you and Dawn, I realised how wrong it was. I could see with my own eyes how much you loved your sister. I quit working for W&H and took your side instead, not that you needed me. Within a month you had won over your father, you were awarded custody of Dawn and..." "And...?" Buffy bit hard into her bottom lip. "I stopped running and let you catch me. I didn't care about our age difference any longer, I knew I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life..." Angel trailed off and looked down. He was suddenly worried that maybe he'd given too much of himself away. "Did you love me?" There was a faint uncertainty in her voice as Buffy struggled to accept the possibility. Coming from a man, who wouldn't even touch her, this was almost too hard to believe Angel let out a deep breath and nodded his head sadly. " Yes, I did" "And did I love you?" At her question he physically flinched. **And did I love you**

Angel felt so frustrated he wanted to scream. In that split second Buffy could see pure pain in the depths of his dark chocolate eyes. Pain and a deep-rooted sadness. She waited for the answer but it never came. The aircraft landing lights chose that precise moment to start flashing, warning that Sunnydale airport was fast approaching and that the pilot was getting ready to descend. When Buffy looked back from the flashing light, her husband had turned his back and was now gazing out of the window. His broad shoulders seemed rigid and as far as he was concerned, the conversation was over. Buffy checked her seat belt and laying her head back against the seat, she closed her eyes and tried to make sense of all the information she now knew.. Just watching Liam speak, she could feel the emotion of their past radiating off his body like heat on a warm summer's day. At times, when he spoke, there had been real passion in his eyes, both passion and tenderness. But there had also been bitterness and something a lot worse. Buffy almost swore at one point she saw outright hatred. It terrified her but it also sent her mind searching for answers. If they really had fallen so hopelessly in love just a few short years earlier, what on earth could have ripped them apart? Manoeuvring her crutches as carefully as she could, Buffy slowly made her way down the steep steps of the aeroplane. As her small feet landed safely on the tarmac at Sunnydale airport, she took a deep breath and turned to face the unknown. **So this is Sunnydale** She thought as her eyes flickered nervously at her new surroundings. All around her, the grey faceless buildings that framed the airport, seemed to close in as she searched deep into her mind for a trigger, anything that would break through the endless black void that had stolen her life. Planes, hangars, buildings, people.... Nothing. Not one thing reached through the blackness in recognition and welcomed her home. **Oh God, I'm still lost** One by one, the other passengers from the flight moved impatiently passed the small girl with the bruised face and bandaged leg in their haste to collect their luggage and reach their own final destination. But Buffy was in no hurry... She was too busy being scared to death.

"Well, what do you think of the place so far?" Angel's calm voice floated into her ear as he too descended the steps of the plane and continued on past her. Leaning heavily on the two metal crutches for support, Buffy couldn't move. A tidal wave of fear and uncertainty swept over her tired limbs, leaving her rooted to the spot. She couldn't do this; she was terrified of taking the next step because that step would lead her straight into the past. And until she could remember that past, her whole future would be left in limbo. **Stop feeling so sorry for yourself ** A tiny spark of inner strength struggled through her fear. **Pull yourself together, Summers. You might never have visited this airport. That could be the reason you don't remember it** The small thought that danced lightly through her head brought little comfort. Neither did the fact that she continued to think of herself as *Summers*. It was discouraging that she remembered her maiden name and not the name of the man she had married, but no matter how hard she tried, Buffy couldn't bring herself to use her husband's surname. "Are you all right?" Angel asked softly, after noticing that his wife had stopped moving. Buffy didn't reply at first. To the outside world she looked deep in thought as she carefully scanned the small airport. But sadly, no matter how hard she tried; the building just looked the same as the one they had just left. It was a lot smaller than New York airport and the weather here was much nicer but apart from that, to Buffy, it was just an airport. Just another disappointing dead-end. Seeing the pain slip across her face, Angel took a small step back and reaching out his arm, he gently squeezed her shoulder "Come on, lets get you home" As he spoke, a hint of concern softened his hard features. With a weary sigh of disappointment, Buffy slowly moved away from the plane and hoped with all her heart that something on the other side of the airport would look more familiar.... On reaching the main terminal, Buffy and Angel walked silently through the customs area and then on to collect their small amount of luggage. Angel had offered to find a wheelchair but his obstinate wife had blankly refused and continued to hobble painfully until they exited the building. "You really shouldn't be putting so much pressure on that foot. The doctor told you to rest it for a few more days. I really don't mind getting you a chair" Angel offered again as he watched the pain grow in Buffy's stubborn eyes.

"I'm fine" Buffy mumbled, trying to keep her disappointment from showing. The outside of the airport looked as unfamiliar as the inside. Moving froward she stumbled slightly and when Angel reached out to stop her falling, she pushed him away. "I'm not a child, I can manage perfectly alright on my own" Buffy snapped, but she wasn't so much angry at Angel's offer of help as she was of her own failure. **Her failure to walk, but more importantly, her failure to remember.** Angel backed away, his face darkening at her cruel dismissal. "Suit yourself," He smiled tightly, unsure why he felt so annoyed by her reluctance to accept his help. **If the damn woman wanted to cripple herself why should he care..** But that was always his trouble.. He did care. No matter how hard he fought to hate her, part of him still cared. **A small part of him would always care.** Watching his body language change, Buffy realised how unfair her outburst had been, and apologised.. " I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap.. It's just so...." "Frustrating?" Angel offered. Buffy nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly what it is" she sighed sadly accepting the truth. **Frustrating was the understatement of the year** "Come on, its not far now, lets get out of this place?" Angel took her elbow and guided her safely across the parking lot to where he had left his car ten days earlier. This time Buffy didn't protest, she even welcomed the support of his warm hand on her tired arm. For the first time since waking into this nightmarish world, she actually felt safe in his presence. The feeling was surprisingly comforting. **This man might not like you very much but he'd never let you fall.** Although the thought came out from nowhere, Buffy knew it was true. On reaching his parking place Angel checked once again on the state of her health. "Are you sure you're alright? You look very pale."

This time there was no violent outburst. Buffy just nodded her head sadly and after passing Angel her crutches, she slowly sank into the passenger's seat of the black Plymouth convertible. Immediately, the smell of polish and leather washed over her senses and she breathed it in deeply. It was familiar and comforting but more than that, the subtle blend of aromas was the first thing she'd recognised in what felt a lifetime. She knew without a doubt that she'd travelled in this convertible many times before. Angel threw the luggage in the boot, slammed the lid and dropped in the seat beside her. " Nice car" Buffy sighed softly, running her hand admiringly over the dashboard. Even the feel of it beneath her fingertips felt familiar. At her comment, Angel couldn't resist the chuckle he gave back. " You always thought so. And before you ask Buffy, the answer's no, I'm still not letting you drive it" Buffy looked up and for the first time since arriving in Sunnydale she smiled "I think that's a very wise idea, I don't seem to remember learning how to drive" She teased this time and her eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief. As her warm smile tore into his heart, Angel joined in with the joke and did a little teasing of his own. "The way you used to drive, I think that can be called that a plus" Buffy tried to smile but failed miserably to make it look convincing.. There was nothing good about losing everything you had ever learned. There were no pluses as far as she could see. Knowing he was fighting an uphill battle, Angel started the car and moved out of the car park. " I know this is hard but it will get better. You just have to keep believing that" He offered reassuringly. Buffy lifted her face at the concern she had heard in his voice and although she couldn't find it in her heart to believe him, she was more than grateful that he tried. As Angel paid the parking fee and joined the line of traffic leaving the airport, she turned away and looked out of the side window, hoping to catch a glimmer of something, anything that would tell her she was really home.

After they had been driving for a few minutes, Angel glanced over to see his wife deeply engrossed in the passing scenery. Her delicate features looked strained as she tried to place the assortment of buildings flashing passed without any success. He could feel the growing disappointment radiating from her small body as yet another row of houses passed by with no recognition. No matter how helpless Angel felt, he knew this was something Buffy could only do by herself. "I feel as if I'm looking out from behind a dream, one of those deja vu ones where you know you've seen it all before and yet.." Buffy sighed again with frustration. This time they were passing the university she had once attended, before her mother's death had brought an end to her education. On Angel's mention that she had once attended classes there, Buffy sank deeper into her depression, she couldn't remember a single day she'd ever spent there. "Maybe you're trying too hard" Angel offered again. Buffy shook her head and watched the campus flash past the widow as he drove a little faster. "It's in there, I can feel it. It feels as if I'm returning to a place I once visited as a child. It's vaguely familiar but nothing really jumps out at me. Sunnydale is a lot smaller than I imagined" Her small voice trembled and the sound of tears was plainly heard by both of them. Without taking his eyes off the road, Angel reached over and softly squeezed her hand. "It will all sort itself out in the end" He hated the thought of her crying. Buffy was so strong and this new weakness was something he hadn't expected. At the touch of his warm fingers, Buffy shivered. She suddenly found herself holding her breath as he unconsciously caressed her hand. After a few seconds, and after realising what he was doing, Angel stopped and placed his hand back on the steering wheel, much to Buffy's disappointment. "I'll drive the long way round, that will give you a clearer picture of Sunnydale" Angel mumbled and cursed himself for touching her hand. Now all he could think about was how much he wanted to hold her, comfort her, wipe away her tears and it was all a waste of energy. At the end of the day all he wanted was answers and when he had them, the bitch could cry a river for all he cared. **Keep saying it and you might believe it one of these days** Even his own thoughts knew he was lying. One by one places of importance went by unobserved.

As they drove past Restfield cemetery, Angel resisted telling Buffy that her mother was buried there. He knew that little snippet of information would be too hard on the first day, some things really could wait. "It feels as if I've not been here for years.. Liam, just how long was I away?" The question was innocent. Buffy had no idea how much the answer would shock her. For a second, Angel was caught completely off guard. He didn't answer at once. Speeding up to pass a couple of slower moving cars in the outside lane, he looked deep in thought as if trying to decide whether to reply or not. "A little over three months" He finally gave in and answered. Keeping his eyes firmly on the road ahead, Angel spoke quietly, as if it hurt just saying the words out aloud. "Three months?" Buffy was stunned, she had expected to hear a few days, a week at most. "What was I doing that kept me away for so long?" Angel slowed the car as the traffic lights ahead turned red. His long fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. "You said you needed some time on your own. You had a lot of stuff going on in your life with the gallery and such..." The well practiced lie slipped easily over his tongue. Once again, he found himself lying rather than coming out and saying just what needed to be said. Angel bit back the sigh that rose in his throat. Buffy was going to find out sooner or later but until then... With his reply Buffy remained silent. Trying desperately to add two and two together without coming up with six. There was something really wrong with this whole picture. People didn't just take off for three months at a time, not normal people with normal lives... **Did they?** After letting a dozen different scenarios play havoc with her imagination, she asked the question that was bothering her most. " Liam?" "Yes" he replied tightly not taking his eyes off the car in front.

"Did we fight..?" "Sorry?" At his cold glare Buffy tried a different approach. "Did we argue?" " That's a strange question" Angel didn't like the way this was heading, or what she seemed to be insinuating. "You said I needed space, I was just wondering if we quarrelled.." Buffy looked up and her eyes reflected all the turmoil she felt. Taking a deep breath Angel knew this question could only be answered with the truth. "No, we never fought. In fact we never argued Buffy, not once" It was true and that's what hurt him the most. They had always had the most perfect marriage... or so he had always believed **What a fucking joke that turned out to be** With the traffic light switching to green Angel pulled away. Trying to get his mind off Buffy's earlier question, he changed the subject by describing different places of interest in a hope they might set off a trigger in her memory. But, sadly, each location continued to draw a blank expression. Passing the high school, Buffy gasped at the black, burnt out shell. "What on earth happened there?" Her voice trembled; just the thought of fire now terrified her. "Graduation day. 1999 I think. You told me there was a fire during the speeches, the principal and a few of the students were killed. They have only just started to rebuild" At the confirmation of the fire Buffy felt a cold shiver cover her body and sat further into the seat. She remained silent then until Angel pointed out the next landmark. "That's the Bronze" He glanced at her as the traffic slowed. " Recognise it?" Looking out at the small club, Buffy's eyes lit up. "I think so" At last a building really did look familiar. "I have a feeling I spent most of my teenage years behind those doors," She added getting more and more excited.

"You did" A small smile lifted the corners of Angel's mouth at his success. But even though he smiled, he knew the real test was fast approaching. Turning the corner of Ravello Drive, Angel stopped the car outside number 1630 and waited. "Oh God, I know this house....." Buffy's grinned with deep relief. She didn't know why she knew it but the picture was imprinted in her heart. "I've seen this house before..." "Of course you have Buffy, about a million times. It's your home" Angel jumped out of the car. Walking to the other side, he opened the passenger's door and held out his hand. He smiled, but for reasons of his own it failed to penetrate his dark brown eyes. "Welcome home, Buffy." The coolness that returned to his deep, rich voice sent a shiver of uncertainty screaming through her body. **Home?** As she took the first step, Buffy was overwhelmed with a terrible urge to turn and run... **But where on earth could she go?** "So, how long have we lived here?" Buffy asked looking at the tastefully furnished sitting room. " You've lived here all your life, Buffy," Angel replied placing their luggage down on the floor. It felt good to be home and yet, just seeing Buffy standing there after so many months brought back more memories that he could bear to remember. Buffy didn't know how lucky she was with her amnesia, the way he felt, Angel would have chanced places with her in a heartbeat. "You were born here, I moved in with you and Dawn after we were married" He turned his attention back on the present and tried desperately to ignore the pain of the past. **I carried you over that threshold. We made love on that carpet... You broke my heart in the kitchen** For Angel, turning off the past wasn't so easy.

Walking slowly around the room Buffy silently studied the furnishings, the curtains, the chairs, and the pictures on the wall. "It's not as familiar inside as it was outside" Her quiet voice finally broke into the stillness of the room. The disappointment was sickening. Buffy had been sure that, once she walked through the front door, something - anything - would help make things fall into place. But, no matter how hard she tried; she couldn't remember ever living here, not even before marrying Liam. Angel was just as disappointed at her failure. He wanted her to remember, he wanted this over.... He needed this to be over while he was still strong enough to walk away. "Come on, let me show you around" As Buffy hobbled from room to room, the uneasy feelings she had been experiencing started to fade. Although she didn't remember living there, she definitely liked the house. It had an aura of calm about it, a safety she associated with the word home. Casting her mind back to her recent stay in hospital, she remembered her ideal vision of what home should be. **Home was where the heart was, home was warm and safe and it smelt of chocolate cookies and family..** There wasn't much in the way of family here but, to Buffy's jumbled mind, she guessed this was close enough. The chocolate cookies might turn out to be a bit of a problem; Buffy still had no idea if she could even cook. "I'll show you the bedroom" Angel reached out and took her arm. He immediately withdrew it when he felt her flinch. Determined not to let her see how much that small reaction had hurt him, he continued in a quiet voice " I think you need to rest after that long flight, it will be a lot more comfortable in your own room" His eyes suppressed the anger he felt as they bored into hers, telling Buffy that his intentions were strictly honourable. Buffy felt a rush of heat to her face, suddenly feeling both foolish and embarrassed at the same time. The guy could hardly bear to touch her, let alone want to have sex with her the second they walked through the door. **Sex with Liam**

Just the thought of being so intimate with him shook her. Buffy tried to tell herself that it shouldn't, he was, after all her husband, they had been married for over two years and they had obviously made love many times. As her eyes flicked over his tall strong body, Buffy forced herself to look away. She was horrified with her thoughts. For a fraction of a micro second she actually fantasised about what making love to this gorgeous looking man would feel like. **How his large hands would feel as they softly caressed her skin, how his lips would...** **STOP IT!** It was insane to think like that. She tried to reason, but what really shocked her was the possibility that she would love every second of it... **Was that a memory returning or simple wishful thinking?** Buffy quickly closed the thought down. She noticed that Angel was looking at her with a quizzical expression but nothing on earth would make her divulge that little thought. "I am tired and my foot hurts a little" Buffy admitted, and on reflection, agreed that she would feel better after a rest. Leading the way up the stairs, Angel picked up her small bag and showed her to the master bedroom. "This is your room" he told her placing the bag on the floor next to the door. "My room...?" Seeing the questions start to rise again in her large hazel eyes Angel quickly continued, "Under the circumstances I thought I'd move into the guest room, for the time being at least. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in your own home, Buffy" **That makes sense** Buffy accepted the answer and nodded in gratitude. "Besides, I snore" Angel added as an afterthought. Buffy's eyes widened. This time he was teasing and they both knew it. "I have a strange feeling you don't" Buffy found herself laughing at the change of mood. Angel went to step back but changed his mind. Almost hesitantly he raised a hand and

reached out. Gently, he stroked a stray lock of blonde hair that had escaped the pins Buffy had used that morning to style it. "You changed your hair, looks nice" He whispered and leaned forward. Buffy didn't move, she watched in awe as his fingers slipped slowly down her hair and then moved to her cheek. Gently running his thumb across what remained of her stitches, he sighed deeply. "You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever met" Angel's voice was deep with sincerity. Buffy looked up into his face and couldn't miss the faint blur of tears that shimmered in his eyes. At the intensity shining there, she shivered. Misreading her reaction Angel dropped his hand and looked down. When he looked back his feelings were carefully masked again. More determined than ever to resist the temptation he felt pulling his heart apart. He took a deep breath but it did nothing to dispel the tension that was knotting his stomach. Remaining as neutral as possible, Angel replied with a clear conscience. "There's nothing to be afraid of here, Buffy. You're perfectly safe. I would never hurt you." Her reply was instantaneous. "I know" Considering she couldn't remember spending a single second of her life with him, the answer sounded strange, but in her heart Buffy knew it was the only reply she could give. Liam was sometimes cold and uncaring but she felt deep inside that he hid a gentle soul. Opening the bedroom door Angel stood back and waited for her to pass inside. "If you need me for anything, just shout. My room's just down the hall" Unconsciously, his tone softened. He then shoved his hands deep into his trouser pockets and turned away. "Thank you," Buffy whispered as she watched him leave. When he was completely out of sight, her small hand rose to her cheek and rested lightly over his touch. She could still feel the imprint of his warm fingers burn against her bruised skin.

Buffy tried to understand her feelings for this man. He frightened her and yet excited her at the same time. He really was a mystery and she couldn't read him at all. She could feel the tension between them, it was almost tangible but only he knew the reasons why. Love or hate, one thing was for sure.... What ever the future held for them it certainly wouldn't be boring. ***** Angel walked slowly down the stairs and headed straight for the small room he had converted into a study the year before. Closing the door behind him, he made his way across to the small desk in the corner and pulling out a large leather chair, he proceeded to sink exhaustedly into it's softness. Yanking open the top drawer of his desk, he removed the small bottle of Scotch he found inside and ripped off the lid. Angel didn't even bother hunting for a glass. Talking a deep swig he felt the cool liquor burn as it swirled over his tongue and slipped easily down the back of his throat. It quickly coursed through his veins, reminding him that he really was still alive, even if at times he wasn't too certain. **That's what women do to you. They suck the life out of you and leave you dry** He wasn't sure if it was bitterness or self-pity talking but whichever it was, he agreed whole heartily with the tiny voice in his head. The whole trip had been a disaster. Angel had convinced himself that the moment Buffy walked through the front door, the floodgates would open and the past would tumble around her like toy building blocks. But as he stared into her frightened, bewildered eyes, he knew she still didn't have a clue of what happened between them. Talking a second long swig from his bottle, Angel reached deeper into his desk drawer and drew out a small yellow envelope. Shaking it slightly, a single sheet of paper fell out and with it, a small golden ring. He didn't need to open the letter to know what it said. Every word had been carved on his heart. **It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy** Raking his fingers through his dark brown hair, Angel sighed in utter frustration. He picked up the small wedding ring and clasped it so tightly in his hand it almost drew blood. "Forgive me for what, Dammit? All I ever did was love you, Buffy.." Dropping his head down on to the desk, Angel held his wife's abandoned wedding ring firmly in his hand and sobbed.

Buffy woke to a room flooded with warm golden sunlight. Utterly exhausted, she had forgotten to draw the curtains the night before so now the early morning light bathed the whole room with a soft warm glow. Momentarily disorientated with her new surroundings, she pulled herself up in the large double bed and took a deep breath of morning air. Slowly, images of the past few days trickled into her head. The hospital, the accident and then the tiring journey home. **Home** That's what Liam, her *husband* had told her the night before. **She was home and safe and...** Buffy took a second deep breath to calm the rise of panic that had started to surge inside the walls of her chest. She might have returned *home* but she was still totally lost, confused and bewildered. Running her hands through her loose, blonde hair, she looked around the pretty peach bedroom hoping that something would shout out from its hiding place and welcome her back.. When nothing did, a third calming breath was needed to squash the growing fear. Just as she lost hope of ever finding anything familiar, the faint fragrance of roses drifted in through the window and Buffy knew without even looking, that the roses growing outside in the gardens below would be yellow. She liked yellow roses, she didn't remember why, but it was there in her memory, one of the few details about her past life that she could still cling too. There seemed so few of those memories left, but to Buffy, every one of them, no matter how small or insignificant were unbelievably precious. These tiny scraps from her past were all that were keeping her sane. Her sister's name, her mother's face, the outside view of her house and...** Angel** Buffy sighed, she'd recognised the face and somehow she remembered that part of his name. **Now if only I could remember the real person, the man behind the angry mask** "Easier said than done" Buffy spoke her thoughts aloud, safe in the knowledge that nobody else could hear her. Turning her head towards the window, she caught sight of the small clock on the bedside cabinet. At 9.45.am, it wasn't as early as she'd first thought. After putting off the inevitable for as long as possible, Buffy knew she had to get dressed and go and greet the new day. But it wasn't the thought of the new day that bothered her, more the thought of spending that day with Liam. Their first day together completely alone... Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Buffy stopped for a moment and studied how thin they looked. Whilst in hospital, there was too much on her mind to really pay attention to her body, even though the subject of her weight loss had risen on more than one occasion. But now there was no hiding from the truth. Standing gingerly on her still

painful leg, she moved slowly across the room and stood before the full-length mirror on the front of her wardrobe door. Raising her eyes she took notice of her frail appearance for the first time. At the reflection staring back, Buffy shuddered. She could see her body properly now and it scared her to death. She wasn't just slim, she was skinny, almost a bag of bones. "No wonder Liam couldn't bare to touch me" Buffy sighed softly as she ran her hand lightly across her small chest and prodded her protruding ribs with her fingertips. She wasn't sure why, but the thought bothered her. It didn't matter how hard she tried not to, Buffy found herself thinking about Liam more and more. There was just something about him that terrified and excited her at the same time. Her dreams were filled with jumbled visions but one thing stood out from the chaos more than anything else ... his eyes. Not seething with anger or cool with indifference. The deep brown pools filling her dreams that night had burned with real passion. **Passion? ** As she struggled to remember the dream, Buffy couldn't be certain if it was just her imagination playing games with her, or something a lot deeper. **Was the lost part of her memory finally rising to the surface? Could it break through and return while she slept? ** Doctor Walsh had thought so and the possibility that he was right brought a new wave of joy to her heart. But the joy was momentarily put to one side as her thoughts returned to deep brown, enigmatic orbs. Raising her hand to the cheek that Liam had caressed the night before, Buffy sighed softly. Just the thought of his fingers caressing her cheek brought a healthy pink flush to her face. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, there was definitely a spark between the two of them, something resembling an electrical current passed through her body whenever he touched her skin. If she really did have to wake up in a void world, with a stranger for a husband, Liam Angelus wasn't such a bad catch. **In a drop dead, gorgeous way** "Now, if only I could remember him, " Buffy told her reflection with a soft smile. "And remember why those beautiful eyes always look so cold" she added as an afterthought. **You were away for over three months** As his words returned and lingered inside her head, Buffy found herself once again questioning the reason for her absence. She was still not happy with Liam's reply and made a mental note to ask him about it later, once she got dressed that was.

**Dressed** Buffy blushed again as she glanced at her near naked form. Too tired the night before to worry about anything but sleep, she had kicked off her shoes, dropped her jeans and shirt casually over a chair and crawled into bed wearing just her underwear. Now, standing in front of the mirror almost naked, she decided that getting showered and finding some clean clothes were definitely the first priorities of the day. On that thought, Buffy opened the closet door and after viewing its contents for a few seconds, she stood back in horror. This time she was more than a little confused "So were the hell are my clothes?" She mumbled, as her hands reached up and flicked through the endless rows of naked hangers. Moving to the drawers on her left, she found the same thing. Buffy struggled to understand. This was supposedly her home, her bedroom and yet there was nothing here that proved she'd ever spent a single day in this room. The dressing table was also completely bare. No photos, no toiletries, nor make up, not even a hairbrush. Noticing the small bag that Liam had brought back from the hospital, Buffy unzipped it and withdrew a fresh set of underwear. She eyed her jeans and shirt still lying on the chair in the corner and, although they had been worn to travel home in the day before, Buffy was grateful that at least she wouldn't have to walk around the house almost naked. Collecting the garments in her arms, she walked across the room and stood at the bedroom door. Reaching out, she placed her hand on the handle only to hesitate again before pulling it open. "Now, if only I remembered where the hell the shower was?" she grumbled in frustration before finally walking out. ******* Meanwhile Angel was sitting at the kitchen table holding a cup of strong black coffee in one hand and flicking through the newspaper with the other. Although he looked deeply engrossed in the sports pages, he wasn't concentrating on any article in particular, especially after spending the whole night lying awake. After finishing the bottle of scotch in his study, Angel had pulled his weary body up the stairs to their small guest bedroom and collapsed in a heap on the tiny single bed. The alcohol flowing through his blood stream did little to help his mood, if anything; it left him feeling even more frustrated. As the endless dark hours slipped silently by, all Angel could do was stare up at the ceiling and wonder for the millionth time how their once perfect marriage had disintegrated all around them, without him noticing a single crack in the paintwork.

Sleep was impossible. No matter how hard Angel tried, his imagination refused to allow him one moment of peace as it ran riot with images of Buffy. **Wife?** ** Friend?** ** Lover?** **Bitch?** It simply hurt too much to decide. The woman who had stolen his heart with a single glance and had broken it just as quickly, lay sleeping just a few feet along the corridor. Twice that night, Angel had forced himself away from her bedroom door only to return to his cold empty bed, feeling utterly disgusted with his weakness. Although he knew it was wrong, he couldn't help himself. With Buffy being home again and sleeping in a room so close by, his body burned for her, a low ache in his stomach twisted so tight he wanted to scream. **But She doesn't want you** **She left you** **The bitch even had the audacity to blame you** Angel pulled the pillow over his head to cut out the annoying voices in his mind, but they simply wouldn't quit. All night long, with a little help from the alcohol in his system, he tortured himself in a desperate need to control his emotions. He tried everything to remind himself he no longer cared. But his heart knew it was a lie and the torture continued. **You want her** **You need her** ** You love her. ** Angel jerked upright in bed, his face strained and tiny beads of sweat peppering his brow. It didn't matter if she hated him; nothing mattered at 2.am but the pain in his chest and the ache in his groin. Climbing out of bed for a third time, the tormented man threw open the small closet door and without even looking, he reached inside and removed a pale yellow bathrobe from its

hiding place. Holding it close to his face he breathed deeply and the faint smell of Buffy flooded his senses and melted down the steel wall surrounding his heart. Falling back on his bed, Angel held Buffy's old robe against his cheek and tried desperately to shut out the pain he was feeling. He knew it was insanity to lower his defences but, after months of being alone, he needed to forget the emptiness that threatened to suffocate him and just this one night let his heart drown in the smell of her scent. **You really are a big, stupid, dumb ass** **Liam, be careful, please, please be careful this time** **Don't worry, sis. She won't break my heart a second time** His sister's voice of warning was clear in his mind, but it didn't help. Angel wanted to be strong, he longed to cut Buffy Angelus out of his heart once and for all, but in the early hours of that morning, he discovered he couldn't lie to himself any more. He loved her, he always had and, sadly, he always would... Tomorrow his strength would return, with the sunlight he would remember the anger, the disappointment and the hatred.. But not tonight, tonight he just wanted to hold part of her. Sleep never came, but as Angel lay in the darkness with the scent of his lost love by his side, he found the spark of comfort he needed to get through the rest of the night... It was probably a mistake but for a few hours it was enough. ****** "Hey!" Buffy's small voice broke into his thoughts and snapped his attention right back to the present. Without looking up, Angel folded the newspaper and placed it on the table. When he did raise his eyes his breath caught deep in his throat at the sight before him. "Did you... Did you sleep well?" Angel asked, needing to do something, anything to stop losing himself in her eyes. Standing up, he pulled out the nearest chair and indicated for her to sit down. "Yes, thanks. I didn't think I would, but I must have been exhausted because I slept like the dead last night." Buffy accepted the offer of the chair and when she looked up, she couldn't fail to notice the dark rings that circled his eyes. She surmised that Liam hadn't been as fortunate with sleep as she had. Even with his head down, Angel could feel her warm gaze wash over his face. He had showered and shaved that morning but he knew after drinking a bottle of scotch and failing to sleep, he wasn't looking his best His wife on the other hand looked amazing.

"I see you found the shower" He reluctantly turned his head and met her gaze Buffy nodded her head. Her long blonde hair was still wet and Angel watched in awe as tiny droplets of water sparkled like silver as they dripped unnoticed onto her skin. After everything that had happened, she still took his breath away. Buffy was completely unaware how beautiful she looked, sitting there with the morning sunlight caressing her skin. But Angel noticed, he noticed everything. He observed the way the golden light danced gently across her large hazel eyes, the way her breasts swelled against the thin material of her shirt ..... **The way she shuddered when you touched her** That thought hurt more than he wanted to admit and the flicker of despair he felt lingered. "Liam, I was..." Buffy started to question her lack of clothing but was cut off before she could reach the end of her sentence. "What would you like for breakfast. I could fix you some cereal or maybe something hot. I do a mean scrambled eggs," Angel asked, dragging his hungry eyes away from her body. She was thinner now but there was still enough of her curves to set his blood on fire. Buffy was about to refuse, seeing that her appetite had disappeared along with the rest of her past, but as she opened her mouth to speak, she remembered how thin she'd looked in the bedroom mirror and knew that her body couldn't afford to lose any more weight. It didn't matter that she wasn't hungry, from now on she would force herself. "Thanks, eggs would be great" she accepted gratefully then as an afterthought added "But shouldn't I be doing the cooking?" Angel blinked at the unexpected question. "We don't have that sort of marriage, Buffy. We both work, so we both share the cooking.. Besides, until you remember where everything is kept, it will be quicker if I do it" He walked to the refrigerator and removed a large carton of eggs. Moving easily around the large kitchen, Angel then set about preparing the meal. As Buffy watched helplessly from her seat at the table, her frustration continued to grow. He was right, she didn't have a clue where anything belonged. This was her kitchen, her home and yet she felt like an intruder. She had no memory, no past and now no belongings.

Buffy knew she didn't belong here anymore, but until she found out who she really was, she didn't belong anywhere else... They sat in silence for a while. Both slightly uneasy at the difficult situation they found themselves in. Although Buffy had stated that she wasn't that hungry, Angel watched in amusement as she demolished a whole plate of bacon, scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes and three pieces of buttered toast. He remained silent but secretly he was pleased to see her tucking into her food so enthusiastically. He recalled how his heart sank when he first discovered her in that hospital bed. It wasn't just her injuries from the accident that had caused him to shiver, Buffy's whole body cried out that the last three months had been as hard on her as they had been on him. Wherever Buffy had run to, it hadn't treated her well. "That was delicious, where did you learn to cook like that?" Buffy asked the question in a soft, easy voice, trying to keep the mood as light as possible. "My sister Cordelia taught me. We both moved to LA at the same time and shared an apartment for a while" At the thought of his sister's cooking abilities, Angel smiled and his features relaxed. "Your sister?... Where is she now? ...Does she live here with us?" Buffy asked hesitantly, not sure if she was ready to deal with another new face. "No, Cordy's in Hollywood. She's playing at being an actress at the moment, trying to make a name for herself." Angel paused for a second noticing Buffy's concern. She didn't need to speak her fear, by now he could almost read her mind. " You don't remember Cordelia either?" He frowned with disappointment but was already guessing the answer. Buffy shook her head as the name of her sister-in-law bounced around her empty mind. "Sorry" She looked back at him " Were we close friends?" At her question Angel laughed out loud. "Hardly, I think you two hated each other on sight. She didn't think you were good enough for her big brother, and you, well you thought she was a stuck up bitch with a bug up her ass the size of an emu." Angel chuckled lightly remembering the heated arguments between the two women he loved. His wife and sister could cat fight like no other females he'd ever known. Buffy was momentarily speechless; his explanation wasn't anything she'd expected to

hear. At her shocked expression Angel smiled. "You soon proved my little sister wrong" He turned towards the sink and when he looked back Buffy was standing next to him holding out her empty plate. "How did I prove her wrong?" She asked curiously, eager to lean anything about her past that could possibly fill in the blank pages of her memory. Angel went quiet for a moment, as if struggling with truth. When he did finally answer Buffy couldn't fail to notice the flicker of regret in his dark brown eyes. "You made me happy, Buffy. Happier than I'd ever been in my whole life. Even Cordelia couldn't argue with what was plainly staring her in the face. You never really became good friends, but I think after a while you came to a understanding." Angel explained quietly, and then silently added **Until you walked out on me and broke my heart. Now she wants your blood with a vengeance** He kept that information to himself. Cordelia wouldn't be visiting any time soon and Buffy didn't need to know how much his sister now hated her. **You made me happy, Buffy. Happier than I'd ever been before** For a few moments his words hung in the air. When they both finally found the courage to look up, their eyes locked and after a heartbeat, Buffy took a small step forward, closing the distance that separated them. "I wish I could remember. I want to remember" She sighed wishfully, her eyes never once leaving his face. By now their bodies were so close that Angel could feel the heat radiating from skin. "I wish you could too" His dark gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes. Angel's soft words were so low that Buffy had to strain to hear them. As she felt her chest tighten, she realised she was still holding her breath. Her cheeks flushed scarlet but she refused to look away. After a moment's hesitation, Angel did. "Here give me that, I'll put it in the dishwasher" He took the plate from her hand and resisted the temptation to touch her fingers. Angel knew if he touched her today, after fighting all night to keep away from her door, he'd be lost forever. He had to try harder, he had to fight the need that tore at his chest like an open wound and forget how soft her body felt in his arms. He needed to find the closure he'd searched so hard for, and then once he had it, he'd put this woman behind him once and for all. Buffy turned to walk away but as she took her first step she stopped.

"What happened to my clothes? I mean all the hangers in my room are empty" She asked, trying not to react to his nearness. Keeping his back to her, Angel bit into his lip. "I already told you, you took them all with you" His voice remained calm but his heartbeat increased and pounded loudly in his ears. Buffy didn't speak for a moment as she carefully digested the answer. "I took *everything* I ever owned on a trip?" She finally asked in disbelief. "You threw out a lot before you left. You said you wanted to change your image. Looks like you got your wish" Slipping the dish he was still holding into the dishwasher, Angel lied well. He didn't want to tell his wife that he'd destroyed nearly all her belongings in a drunken rage about a month after she'd walked out on him. It was easier to let her believe she took them all with her. **After all, like her letter had painfully reminded him. It wasn't like she ever planned to come back for them** "So all I have left now are the clothes I'm standing in?" Buffy frowned at the realisation. It came as another painful blow. Something else to add to the long list of what she had lost. **Memories, feelings, and now even her belongings had all disappeared into a black vortex. How could she ever remember her past when there was nothing left of that past for her to cling on too** Reaching into his back pocket Angel withdrew his wallet, he flicked it open and while he was searching for a credit card a small photograph fell on to the kitchen table. Angel immediately reached for it but Buffy got there first. Turning it over in her fingers her eyes settled on the happy smiling faces staring back at her. **Wow!.. It's us ** Her eyes widened in surprise. The two people looked so happy that the emotion leapt out from the picture and reached deep into her heart. Somewhere, somehow they had thrown away something so special it frightened her. Angel waited a few seconds before reaching for the picture. "A few clothes are the least of your problems, Buffy. Here, take this and charge anything

you need" He offered his small credit card and when Buffy looked up she couldn't read anything in his dark eyes. If she could, she would have seen both guilt and embarrassment that he had acted so childishly in a moment of weakness. But Angel hid his feelings well. **Besides, all I destroyed were a few stupid possessions, you destroyed my life.** He bitterly reminded himself as he retrieved his picture. Buffy's heart was racing but she released the photograph without uttering a word. Without looking at her, Angel continued, his voice once again cold and uncaring. "Shopping was always one of your favourite pastimes, I'm sure you haven't forgotten how you love to spend my money" He smirked as he replaced his wallet. Buffy felt as if she'd been slapped. The thoughtless remark was one reminder too many of everything she had forgotten. Looking at the credit card on the table she finally started to crumble. **Here, take this and charge anything you need.. I'm sure you haven't forgotten how you love to spend my money** " You make it all sound so easy, but its not" She whispered trying desperately to hold herself together. Hot salty tears burned the back of her throat and quickly rose to brim in her eyes. "Just give them the card, Buffy, the shop assistants will do the rest" Angel repeated wearily not yet noticing how badly she was reacting to such a simple statement. "I can't.. Dammit, I can't walk very well and I can't remember where the shops are.. I can't remember my size and I... Hell, I can't remember what day it is.... " Buffy stood still and the tears she had held inside her, ever since the accident, burst their banks and streamed down her face as she finally broke down and cried. Within a heartbeat, Angel was wrapping her up in his arms and soothing her pain with gentle words of comfort. "I need to remember..." The desperate plea was heartbreaking in its simplicity. "And you will" Angel reminded her softly as he continued to stroke her damp hair. He knew he was playing with fire, she was too close and she felt so right back in his arms. But it didn't matter, he hated seeing his wife this vulnerable. As Buffy's small body shook with her pain, Angel ignored the consequences and held her tighter. "Just give it time" He offered softly, his voice conveying his own feelings of helplessness

**Give it time. Don't rush things. It will all come back when it's ready.** As Buffy stood in the cradle of his strong arms, his earlier words of reassurance returned in a rush. Buffy struggled against the rising depression inside her head but she was slowly suffocating. Words simply didn't help. She needed more than reassuring words she needed answers. It was hopeless. Lost so far in the darkness, Buffy felt as if she was slowly going out of her mind, she simply couldn't take it one second longer. That was the moment her patience finally snapped. "I'm sick of giving it time. Can't you see how lost I am here? I'm hurt, I'm lonely, I'm afraid... Dammit, Angel I want my life back and I want it back now..." At her unexpected outburst, Angel jerked away and stared at her face in shock. Buffy had used his pet name for the first time. Just hearing her say the word affected him more then he thought possible. No matter how much of her life she had lost, he knew then that somewhere in that void of her memory, part of him was still in her heart. **Angel I want my life back ** Her desperate plea broke his heart. "I'd give it to you if I could, Buffy" He answered truthfully. Raising his hand Angel tried to sweep the teardrops from her cheek. His fingertips tingled as they slid across the velvet softness of her skin. He couldn't resist letting them follow the contours of her cheekbone even though he knew it was a dangerous indulgence. **I'd give it to you if I could, Buffy** At that moment she honestly believed him. "I know" Buffy whispered back suddenly realising how close their bodies had become. Looking into his face she noticed that his normally harsh features suddenly seemed incredibly kind. She felt hot tears burn the back of her throat again and cursed her weakness. Buffy didn't want him to see her cry anymore but it was too late... Far too late. Everything around them seemed to go still. "I want to remember my childhood, my mother putting me to bed at night. I want to remember going to school, making friends, falling in love...." Her voice cracked, a sob catching in her throat "I want to remember you, Angel and I desperately need to remember that girl in the photograph" Buffy sniffed quietly Angel's expression softened as his hand slipped from her face and moved to circle her tiny waist. She looked so young and lovely that he would have needed a heart of stone to remain immune for a second longer.

Warning bells went off in his head, but he ignored them and felt the barriers he'd so carefully erected around his bruised heart, over the last three months, start to erode and crumble. Everything inside his head screamed that this was wrong but the lonely beat of his heart drowned their protest. "Maybe this will help you remember" Angel gave up the battle he'd fought so hard, to hate her, and swept Buffy up against his hard chest. Lowering his mouth he captured her lips and softly kissed her. The kiss was warm, intimate and yet surprisingly gentle as his mouth caressed her lips. Buffy involuntary sighed and Angel's tongue slipped softly into the wet interior of her mouth. As the kiss deepened, Buffy closed her eyes and moaned. **How could I have ever forgotten something as wonderful as kissing? No, as wonderful as kissing Liam?** Buffy's heart called for to her subconscious to remember. As his tongue reacquainted itself with her mouth Angel pulled her closer into his arms. Buffy didn't know what she was feeling, returning memory or just amazing chemistry, but his hard muscular body felt so right pressing into her soft flesh that she didn't argue as she melted into his arms. As the hunger inside her grew, her small arms automatically wrapped themselves around his neck and her whole body ached to push closer. **Oh, God, why can't I remember you? ** With that thought, Buffy felt a warm rush of arousal and cursed bitterly that her body and heart seemed to remember what her mind still refused to acknowledge. It didn't matter what her head told her, her body and her heart both knew him, and they knew him well. Before she could gather her senses, the situation changed drastically and Buffy felt her back lowered down to the hard kitchen table. The coffee cups scattered noisily across the floor as Angel's large body covered hers. As she kissed him back, he murmured in pleasure and pressed her harder into the cool wooden tabletop. "Buffy" Angel softly moaned her name as his lips pulled away from her mouth and moved to the soft flesh of her neck. It was only when his large hand slipped smoothly beneath her shirt that the spell was broken. Buffy came back to earth with a jolt. This was wrong. No matter how wonderful it felt, it was far too soon. There was no way she could make love to a man she didn't remember, a man she didn't even know if she liked. **But your body knows him, your blood's screaming for him to touch you** Her heart tried to reason but common sense prevailed. "No. Liam not like this" Buffy struggled and pushed at his chest with her small hands

Feeling her sudden resistance, Angel immediately backed off. His hands were shaking and his heart raced as he realised just how close he had been to letting Buffy into his heart again. At the fear he saw in her eyes he quickly moved away. "Did I hurt you?" Angel voice was hoarse and tight with disappointment. He knew she was still covered in bruises and he cursed himself for not remembering how fragile she still was. "No" The tiny word was barely a whisper. Buffy looked up and her eyes reflected the turmoil she felt. Angel shuddered, a cold shiver passing over his heart. He took a deep breath but it did nothing to ease the raging tension that was knotting his insides. **You damn fool, she still doesn't want you** Angel suddenly felt sick at the mistake he'd just made. "I'm sorry. I'm... Buffy, believe me, this won't happen again " Turning, he quickly left the room leaving Buffy to deal with what had just happened between them. When Buffy finally pulled herself together and readjusted her clothes, she found him in the sitting room; hands thrust deep into his pockets, staring out of the window. His back was to her and her mind flashed back to the first vision she had of him, days earlier, standing in her hospital room. His broad shoulders hunched slightly then, only this time his shirt was white, not black. "I'm not sure what just happened?" Buffy whispered, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment. Buffy felt herself start shaking but knew she had to continue. " It was my fault, it won't happen again" Angel spoke quietly without looking round, His voice was cold now and etched in pain. Buffy gazed at his back, weighing her next words carefully. "Liam, I understand what you were trying to do and in a way it worked. I still haven't remembered anything more but I can feel things now that I didn't feel before. I can feel you..." "Don't..." Angel slowly turned around, pain slashed across his face. He couldn't bear to hear where this was leading. The kiss had left him confused and shaken and he really needed to get as far away from Buffy as he possibly could. But just the sight of her pleading eyes kept him from fleeing.

"Please, I know how hard this must be for you but I need you to understand. This is driving me crazy." Buffy implored him with both her words and her eyes. Angel nodded, acknowledging her words and the despair behind them. "Okay, Buffy. I'm not sure if this will help but I'll give you the answers you need" He sighed sadly and walked away from the window. **Maybe it was time she found out just who she really was. ** ***** "Are you sure you want to do this?" Angel asked as they settled down in the sitting room. Buffy nodded her face full of determination. "I'm more than sure. I need to find out how much of me there is still inside here, if anything at all," she said raising her hand and tapping the side of head. The panic was gone from her voice. Sadness and confusion now replaced it. Angel lifted the small remote control and aiming it at the TV set in the corner of the room, he pressed the play button. In a flash the television screen was filled with happy voices and smiling faces. It was a bright sunny day and the small group of people that filled the screen was all dressed up for a wedding. Buffy edged to the front of her seat as her eyes widened in amazement. " This is our wedding day?" It was a question not a statement. As beautiful as the day looked she had no memory of ever attending the wedding. Angel sat back in his seat and kept his voice as expressionless as possible. Even though he was dying for her to remember, he knew that if this were going to work, the memories would have to be triggered by Buffy's own mind. "Yeah, I thought a video would be better than a few photos in an album.. Besides, everyone you care about was there that day, it might help" Buffy hovered on the edge of her seat, unable to control her excitement, as an array of happy young faces laughed out from the TV screen. One by one, friends and family fidgeted nervously at the camera and stuttered their best wishes for the bride and groom. Faces that were now vaguely familiar caused little sparks to flash in the dark void of her memory. "No, stop filming me Xander, turn the camera on Buffy" a female voice ordered and the

camera immediately changed direction. Before Buffy got a chance to ask who the voice belonged to, the image of her younger self entered the picture. Buffy's mouth dropped open, the girl wearing her face in the video looked simply radiant as she floated across the room looking like something out of a fairytale. The elegant gown gently hugged every curve of her perfect body before pooling out around her feet. Watching how her full breasts pushed up against the soft lace Buffy realised with a strange pang, that she certainly hadn't always looked like a bag of bones. "Buffy, this way, smile" The cameraman laughed, obviously a friend. If Buffy thought that image shocked her, the next left her stunned. Liam, dressed in a black tuxedo, appeared by her side. His long arms snaked around her waist and lovingly pressed soft kisses to her neck. Buffy felt her breath leave her body. He couldn't keep his hands off her. As the camera moved in closer it captured his eyes perfectly, and the love they reflected made her shiver. "You were so beautiful that day. When you walked into that church you took everyone's breath away" Angel's voice trailed off in remembrance. **But none more than mine** He added silently Buffy smiled with relief, she couldn't help herself as family and friends danced around the happy couple on the screen. "Oh, God, look at Dawnie" Heart racing, Buffy gasped as her sister came into view. The beautiful young woman, with long dark hair laughed brightly and she tried to arrange her sister's dress. Angel didn't speak but silently sighed in relief that at least one face from her past had broken though the mist. Remaining quietly by her side, his eyes took in the rapid play of emotions that crossed her face. Buffy then watched as she and her new husband took to the floor for the first dance and when Angel kissed her, the question that hadn't been answered for her on the plane trip home was clear for the whole world to see. **And did I love you? ** The young woman in the fairytale wedding dress adored him. Buffy's eyes watched in awe as her younger self wrapped her arms around her lover and held him as if she never wanted to let him go. There was no doubt about it. She had been head over heels in love on her wedding day and just one glance at Angel's happy smiling face confirmed he had felt the same.

"Who's that girl?" A face in the video caught her eye. "Which one?" "The small blonde one catching my bouquet" Buffy watched as the pretty blonde woman pushed through the small group of females to catch the bouquet of delicate yellow roses. Angel moved closer and Buffy felt her heart react to his nearness. As his eyes picked out the woman in question a small smile turned the corners of his lips. "That's your best friend" He chuckled lightly at Buffy's bemused expression. Buffy shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Willow's my best friend, there she is, the red head with the long skirt in the background" Angel turned and caught the gleam in Buffy's eyes as another piece of the jigsaw fell into place. "You remembered Willow as well?" He asked hopefully. "I do, but there's more" She bit deep into her lip as she continued to receive the small flash of memory. " Xander Harris. Willow married Xander and it rained all day.. Right?" Buffy was still a little unsure but even though the memory was vague, it felt right. Angel sucked in a breath. "Yes, they married a month before we did. They're both in Africa at the moment, Willow's studying alternative medicine" Buffy smiled, warm tears gathered in her eyes as she remembered more about her two friends. Xander's goofy smile came to mind along with Willow's compassion. Turning back to the TV screen she tried to search her mind for answers to her first question. "So, who's the blonde woman with my flowers?" Her voice grew slightly suspicious. Angel turned his face back to the video and studied the screen. "That's Darla, Buffy. Darla Penn. You've been friends with Darla since you were five years old."

Angel smiled softly as he remembered Buffy telling him about her childhood, one stormy night just after they had first met. "You told me she broke your favourite Barbie doll so you punched her across the school yard. After the teachers pulled you apart for fighting, you shook hands and became close friends. " Buffy didn't speak; her eyes were too busy watching how the blonde woman in the expensive white suit lingered around Liam on the screen. **Best friend my ass** Something didn't feel right. She could now remember Willow, Xander, her mother and Dawnie quite clearly. But not her husband, who she had obviously loved dearly and, strangely, not this Darla who was supposedly, her best friend. No matter how hard Buffy searched her memory, the face of this young woman stayed lost deep in the darkest corner of her mind. Looking back towards the television screen, she continued to watch the rest of the video in silence, but underneath her calm exterior, uneasiness started to grow.

Masquerade
Angel watched as Buffy rewound the video and pressed the play button for the fifth time in succession. As they sat silently on the sofa, so close and yet so far, he didn't once interrupt, understanding her need to continually relive their wedding day. He could see from the tears shimmering in her beautiful eyes that the memories repeating on the screen gave her comfort, some small flicker of light to cling on to in her new dark world. With every smile, giggle, laugh or sigh one of her friends or family made, Buffy seemed to grow more confident, drawing strength and determination from each memory that battled its way through the amnesia. Every now and again she would gasp out loud as a new piece of the jigsaw puzzle slotted into place. From the excited expression on her face, Angel could see that his wife now believed there really was a chance that she would one day reclaim her life from the vortex it had fallen into. **And when that day comes, I will finally be able to reclaim mine** Although it had become his dearest wish over the last three months to discover the truth,

Angel found the prospect now gave him little joy. He understood only too well that when Buffy did finally remember her past, their life together would change forever. Meanwhile, as Buffy sat quietly mesmerised by the faces from her past, she had absolutely no idea what those same visions were doing to Angel. If she had, she would have seen that the memories coming from the video tore into him so fiercely that he almost cried out in pain. It wasn't Buffy's fault. She wasn't to know that seeing her younger self, smiling at him with eyes so full of love, was ripping his heart to shreds. She was blissfully ignorant of the fact that every time their lips met on the screen, the quiet man sitting so patiently by her side, longed desperately to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless. Looking away from the screen, as they became man and wife for the fifth time, Angel knew he had to get away. He had to get out of the house and put as much distance between him and the past as was possible. "Will you be okay for a few hours? I have a few things I need to do" Angel asked quietly as the picture on the screen changed. Now the bride and groom were kissing again and he knew that if you listened very carefully you could hear the younger Buffy moan passionately as his mouth covered hers. For his broken heart, it was just one memory too many. Hearing Angel's soft words, Buffy tore her eyes away from the kiss and stared into his eyes. For a moment the fear she felt at being left on her own reflected in her hazel orbs but she quickly shut it out. She was home, there was nothing here to be frightened of she quickly reassured herself. "Sure. I'll just watch this video again. " Buffy smiled knowing that her earlier thought had been foolish. Now that her memories had started to return she hoped it wouldn't be much longer before the house she was staying in stopped being just a strange house and became her home again. **And maybe then I'll remember you ** The little voice in her head added almost wistfully. "I really should check in at the office and let them know I'm back" Without looking at her Angel stood up and silently crossed the room. Slipping a black leather jacket over his broad shoulders he reached for his car keys and as the video started to rewind for the umpteenth time, he walked out of the room. Although she didn't move from her seat, Buffy stared at the empty doorway for a long time after he was gone. It surprised her how much his absence left her feeling empty. She still might not have clear memories of living with this man, but her feelings towards him were growing stronger by the second. With nothing better to do, Buffy pressed the remote control and started the video one more

time. ***** Angel was gone longer than he expected and it was dark when he finally walked through the front door. As he moved into the hallway, his arms were once again loaded with expensive looking shopping bags, which he dropped happily into the corner before removing his jacket. It was only after he closed and locked the door that the silence greeted him. Angel stood still and fought down the unexpected wave of panic that rose in his throat and burned the back of his mouth. This was how the house had felt for the last three months. Lonely, empty and bare. **And when she leaves you again, It will feel like this forever** his heart whispered into the stillness that surrounded him. **Unless you take this second chance** Walking into the kitchen he pulled open the refrigerator door and stood in the shaft of cool light it reflected across the kitchen floor. Removing a carton of juice, Angel poured himself a glass and swallowed the cool liquid quickly. **A second chance** All night long he had considered the possibility. The wedding video had affected him more than he thought possible and although he'd walked for hours trying to get the anger back into his heart. He couldn't. Lying was no longer an option, he couldn't lie, not to Buffy and - more importantly - not to himself. Whatever had driven her away from him that night, there had to be a way they could make it right. **You don't just wake up one morning and stop loving somebody** Angel rationalised with his conscience. **Not the way they had loved each other** As soon as Buffy remembered what had caused her to write that letter, he was determined they would work it out. They had to work it out because life without Buffy, as the last three months had shown, was unbearable. Finishing the juice, Angel walked into the sitting room. He was just about to leave and head for his bed when he came to an abrupt halt. On the far side of the room, Buffy lay curled up on the sofa fast asleep. Hesitating for a moment in the doorway he stopped and let out a deep sigh of regret. She looked so utterly adorable that his heart constricted and he was swamped with a rush

of emotions he could no longer control. Without conscious thought Angel stood totally still as he continued to watch her sleep. Within seconds his hungry eyes raked over her small curled body, taking in how her cheek rested peacefully on the palm of her hand and the way her full lips parted slightly with each new breath she inhaled. Unable to stop himself, Angel moved closer. Dropping on to his knees, he knelt by her sleeping head and, raising his hand, he started to sweep a stray lock of hair away from her face. After a few seconds, Buffy murmured softly and opened her sleepy hazel eyes. "Liam?" Angel almost moaned out loud. She had no idea how delectable she looked at that moment, all soft and warm with sleep. Not wanting to startle her, he kept all trace of the emotion he was feeling out of his voice. "That's not the most comfortable place to spend the night" He teased lightly. "I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?" Buffy yawned and raised her hand to cover her mouth. Angel smiled softly. Struggling to sit up, Buffy ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face. "It's late. I ran into Lindsey and we went for a drink" Angel replied quietly and reaching over to the small table on his right, he switched on the table lamp. At once a gentle glow filled the room, falling softly across Buffy's face. "Lindsey?" Buffy thought hard for a moment but she failed to recognise the name. Shaking her head after a few seconds, she gave up in defeat. Angel understood the look of confusion; he had seen it on her face continually over the last few days. "Lindsey Macdonald and I used to work for Wolfram and Hart in LA. When I left, after the case with your father, Lindsey came with me and we set up a law practice together here in Sunnydale" As he repeated the story, Angel smiled softly and Buffy couldn't fail to notice the change in his features. The anger and bitterness that she'd often sensed in him since waking up in hospital seemed to have faded from his face. For the time being anyway. "I remember you telling me about Wolfram and Hart, but I don't think you mentioned Lindsey.

What's he like?" "He's a bit of a roughneck but he's a good man to have on your side in a fight" Angel laughed, remembering his encounter with his best friend. Lindsey had found him, earlier that evening, sitting in Willie's bar nursing a small untouched glass of whiskey and a large heavy heart. Dropping his briefcase on the floor next to the bar stool, the good looking young lawyer, exhausted from a long day in court, sat down quietly beside his friend at the bar. "So, you decided to come back after all " The soft familiar drawl of Lindsey Macdonald's voice caused Angel to look up from his drink and realise that he was no longer sitting on his own. "Yeah, I flew in last night" Angel quietly replied without giving any more details away than was necessary. Lindsey was his best friend as well as his partner in the law firm they shared, but after the week Angel had just had, he wasn't in the mood to share his feelings, not with anybody. If Lindsey was offended he didn't show it. As Angel turned his head, Lindsey immediately noticed the dark circles surrounding his friend's eyes and knew that the trip to New York had really taken it's toll. Months with hardly any sleep and continual worry had finally caught up and Liam's once, lively dark eyes now looked haunted as they stared back at him. When Willie approached placing a second glass next to Angel's, Lindsey indicated for him to leave the bottle he was holding and give them some privacy. "From the look on your face I'm taking it was bad news. Wrong girl?" He asked pouring a small measure of golden liquid into the empty glass in front of him. Angel continued to stare at his own untouched glass without making any attempt to lift it. "No, it was Buffy alright. She was slightly hurt in the accident but considering most of the other passengers on the coach were killed, she was extremely lucky" Angel spoke quietly with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I'm sensing a large *but* here" Lindsey knew his friend too well. After working together for over four years he understood when Liam Angelus was holding back. "She has amnesia" Angel sighed wearily. "No shit!.. That's convenient" Lindsey laughed but there was no humour in his voice. He had witnessed his friend's agony these last few months and knew how desperately Liam needed to find Buffy and discover what had driven her away. "So how much memory has

she lost" Angel looked back down at the bar, noticing how the liquid in his glass changed colour when the light hit it. "About 90%, although earlier she showed signs of recovering some of it." Angel look a deep breath before he found the strength to continue. " She just doesn't remember me" This time there was a touch of real bitterness about the words. "Is she faking it?" Lindsey asked suspiciously. With a sigh, Angel shook his head. "No, I wish she were but no. It's too real, her eyes wouldn't be able to lie that well.." His voice trailed off, as he visualised the look of panic and grief that had covered Buffy's face from the second she had opened her eyes in that hospital bed. An awkward silence fell over the two men as they both took in the enormity of the problem. In the end it was Lindsey that asked the question haunting both their minds "Now you have her back, what are you going to do?" Angel wrapped his long fingers around the small glass that had sat in front of him for the last two hours and, finally, raising it to his lips he swallowed the warm liquid down in one smooth gulp. **What was he going to do** That really was the million dollar question, and suddenly he no longer had an answer to it. Closing his eyes and shutting out the noise of the bar, Angel's thoughts drifted to Buffy. He found himself thinking of her hair, her smile, the way she laughed when she was happy and the way her small face creased up and trembled when she cried. He remembered with a heavy heart the way her soft mouth tasted when they kissed and how her perfect body melted into his when they made love. It all felt like a lifetime ago. As his friend struggled for an answer, Lindsey didn't press. He knew he had to let Liam find the solution to this problem on his own. Toying with his empty glass, the young lawyer sat quietly on the barstool as Angel's tormented mind covered every possibility.

In the end he gave the only answer he knew. " I honestly don't know" Angel crumbled and the pain he had been hiding from Buffy saturated his deep voice. In the company of his best friend he was finally able to show his real feelings. "Cordy said I should kick her out once and for all. Even Darla thinks the relationship is over" " Darla?" Lindsey didn't even bother to hide his dislike of the small blonde woman who was supposedly Buffy's friend but spent most of her time chasing after her husband. It was no secret that he'd never trusted her. On the other hand, he had always liked Buffy Angelus; he liked her fighting spirit and envied the way she adored his best friend. Their marriage had looked so solid that it had shocked everyone who knew them when it all fell apart. **Except maybe Darla** "Are you sure Darla doesn't have an ulterior motive?" Lindsey asked carefully, not sure how close Liam and this woman had become, especially after the last few months. To an outsider, she seemed to be there every time he turned around. Angel ran his hand over his chin as he listened to the question. "Ulterior motive, like what?" He asked not quite understanding what the other man was asking. Lindsey sighed, and when he looked up, his face was deadly serious. "Like jumping your bones" He replied as plainly as he could. Angel looked horrified. "That's ridiculous! Darla is Buffy's best friend and she's been a great support these last few months.. But that's all. There has never been anything between us" Angel's eyes darkened over dangerously at the insinuation. " I didn't say you wanted to jump hers" Lindsey responded defensively. The last thing he wanted was a fight but the look in Liam's eyes was frighteningly too serious at that moment. For a tense few seconds neither spoke. " Darla knows how much I love Buffy, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried"

Angel shook his head and backed down. He had enough problems in his life at the moment without punching out his best friend. Reading the anger and desperation in Liam's face Lindsey knew it was time to change the subject. From the way he had reacted it was obvious that he didn't have any romantic feelings for Darla, but Lindsey still wasn't convinced that Darla was so innocent. "So, what do you want to do?" He didn't so much change the subject as bring it full circle. "I *need* closure" Angel replied slowly, but he couldn't stop the pain flashing across his face. Lindsey didn't believe him for a second. His words said one thing but his body language told a completely different story. Realising that a helping hand was needed, he cautiously considered his next move. "Fine, then leave her. Kick the bitch out of your life and forget her." Lindsey said casually as he refilled both their glasses. He purposely let the words sink in knowing that they were having the desired effect. Angel raked his hand through his hair as he struggled to come to a decision. He had spent so long hating Buffy for leaving him that he hadn't really thought about what would happen if she ever came back. "What would you do?" He quietly asked his friend for advice. Knocking back his drink, the lawyer considered the question very carefully. As far as he was concerned, this whole situation stunk and it had done from the second Buffy had fled into the night leaving just a few short words and a wedding ring. "Well..." Taking a deep breath he spoke straight from the heart. "If Buffy was my wife, and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason was for leaving. I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she fell in love with me in the first place and I'd make sure she never wanted to leave me again. " Lindsey's eyes shone brightly as he finished his speech. It wasn't until the words had left his mouth, that he realise how much he believed in them. **If Liam let this girl go again he was a damn fool** Lifting the whisky bottle from the bar, he went to refill Angel's glass for a third time but Angel placed his hand over the top to stop him.

" Thank you, but I need to go home" Angel's tired eyes reflected his gratitude. Finally somebody had told him something he needed to hear. Slowly standing from the barstool he reached down and picked up the shopping he'd earlier purchased and slowly made his way home. **Lindsey and I used to work for a law firm in LA, when I left he came with me and we set up a practice together here in Sunnydale** Turning his attention back to Buffy Angel smiled again. "He sends you his love" "Do I like him?" "Yes " Angel couldn't help but smile again. "We got talking about a case he's been working on and I guess I lost track of the time." It was only a small white lie "Oh, I almost forgot, I brought you a few things" "Things?" "A change of clothes. I also dropped in on Darla, as you were so worried about going shopping, she's agreed to take you. I thought you'd rather go with her than me" Buffy frowned. "Darla? The woman in the video?" She sounded a little vague, but after watching their wedding seven times now, she knew exactly who Darla Penn was. Angel laughed at her troubled expression. "You really don't remember her at all?" Buffy shook her head. "No" She didn't remember her but she had a feeling she wouldn't forget her again in a hurry. "She's been a good friend" Angel offered and tried to forget Lindsey's ridiculous words of warning. Buffy was still frowning. "To you or to me?" She asked quietly, her face suddenly appeared very serious.

Angel opened his eyes in surprise. He could have sworn he heard jealousy in her voice and the thought sent a warm shiver through his lonely body. Leaning forward, he gazed deeply into her eyes. "We have both been really worried Buffy. But you're back now and that's all that matters" Buffy didn't speak, her eyes locked on his, searching and finding a certain comfort in the warm chocolate pools. An air of anticipation buzzed around them as their faces moved closer together, but before anything could happen; Buffy yawned again, the exhaustion of the last few months finally catching up with her tired body. "Come on, let me help you upstairs" Angel offered gently, as he rose from the floor. "Liam, I need to phone Dawn and I want to visit my mother's grave as soon as possible" Angel nodded, he knew once she remembered that Buffy would need to do both those things. " Dawn doesn't know about the accident, she's been so busy with college that I didn't tell her. She doesn't even know you were away." He told her quietly. "I'll ring her in the morning" Buffy went to stand but when she transferred her weight on to her swollen ankle she winced in pain. "Come on, let's get you upstairs, we can talk more in the morning, when we've both had a good night's sleep" Buffy smiled in thanks and when she reached out her hand, he took it and pulled her to her feet. Pulling her close, Buffy shivered as his large arm slipped around her waist and she leaned into him for support as they slowly made their way up the stairs. On reaching Buffy's bedroom door, Angel reached for the handle and pushed it open. For a moment an awkward silence fell over both of them as each waited for the other to move away. Without conscious thought Angel reacted first, he lent forward and softly brushed his lips across her forehead.

"Sweet dreams" His hot breath burned against her skin and sent a shiver of pleasure right down her spine. Buffy sighed as the scent of his masculinity flooded over her senses. Their earlier kiss had left her feeling frustrated and confused and the wedding video had only added to those feelings tenfold. Looking up, their eyes met and her turmoil shone like a lantern on a dark night. As his blood thundered through his veins, Angel went to move back but before he had the chance, Buffy stepped forward this time. Raising her hand to the side of his face she reached up and gently drew his head down to her lips. The kiss was soft and innocent and over in a heartbeat. Gently pulling away, Angel smiled and the expression in his deep brown eyes was so warm it melted her heart. Although his heart was screaming to kiss her back, Angel didn't take advantage of the situation. He knew kissing Buffy now would be dangerous. For the moment he had to hold back. Buffy was still in pain and still confused and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the relationship before it had even restarted. **If Buffy was my wife and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason for leaving was, I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she loved me in the first place.** Angel smiled again, after his talk with Lindsey he now knew exactly what he was going to do and it was a relief after all the uncertainty and heartache. "Something's different. What's changed? " Buffy asked as a sense of bewilderment spread through her whole body. She had only seen that look in his eyes once before, in their wedding video. Reaching out his hand, Angel softly brushed her cheek. He then leaned closer so that his lips were almost brushing her ear. "Goodnight Buffy" Before she could speak again, he was gone. ***** The fire returned. Like an unwelcome guest at a party, it gatecrashed through her peaceful slumber and set about its cruel, evil destruction. Buffy could only watch in horror as the skin on her arms turned from a soft golden brown to a crisp, black ash, and then slowly melted away from the bones. She tried to scream, but the severe pain she felt in every cell of her body clenched the muscles of her throat closed, and her cry of desperation was lost.

She was trapped. There was nowhere left to run nowhere safe to hide and no one she could trust. Or was there? As the fierce, red blanket moved ever closer, engulfing her in its heat and anger, Buffy screamed again, and this time the noise of her terror exploded from her throat. "Buffy! Buffy! Wake up!" The hand on her shoulder shook gently. Buffy sat upright in bed, shaking and clearly terrified. As her eyes focused, she saw that Angel was sitting on the side of her bed, his face wide-awake with concern. "It was a dream. Just a dream" His rich, velvety voice tried its' best to reassure her. Buffy just stared at him, eyes wide, panting for breath as she struggled through her disorientation. "You were dreaming" Angel tried once again to comfort her. "D..dr.. Dreaming?" Buffy stuttered as she realised that the fire was no longer burning her body. Although his kind words meant well, they did little to soothe the panic that was screaming through her blood. Seeing the fear continue to grow behind her frantic eyes, Angel lent forward and wrapping his arm around her trembling body, he cradled her up against bare chest. Turning her head, Buffy pressed her face into the curve of his shoulder and as she clung to him, her fingers dug deep into the flesh of his back. "Shh.. You're safe now" Angel tried again to soothe away the terror that had possessed her petite body. When he felt the first hot tear fall against his chest, his arms tightened and rocking her gently, he kissed the crown of her head. Pressed so closed against his skin, Angel couldn't fail to notice how her heartbeat had doubled, as a rush of adrenaline raced through her veins. "It was so real. It wants to burn me alive" Buffy whispered, fearful that if she spoke too loud, the flames from her dream would return and finish the job. As the visions of her dream became clearer, she remembered that this nightmare was identical to the one she had dreamt on the plane trip home. Buffy couldn't explain why, but something evil was haunting her. Something wanted her dead. **It was so real. It wants to burn me alive**

Her pitiful remark made Angel's heart lurch, he had never seen anybody look so terrified in his whole life. At her alarmed state, he considered his next words carefully. "Was it memories from the accident?" He asked gently, as he continued to rock her in the circle of his strong arms. Buffy was almost too frightened to think. "I don't know. Maybe. I just don't remember. All I can see is the fire, it's hot and bright and burning everything in its path. It's unbearable" Squeezing back more tears, Buffy leaned in closer and ran her hands down his naked back. She wouldn't cry, she couldn't, because if she did, Buffy bit into her lip, because if she did she feared she would never be able to stop. This time Angel was the one to tremble. As her small hand absentmindedly caressed the sinewy muscles in his back, he couldn't stop his own body from reacting. Pulled from his sleep by her frantic cries, Angel had run almost naked to her room. Now, perched on the side of what was once *their* bed, he ignored his state of undress and concentrated fully on Buffy's pain. "I won't let anybody hurt you, not ever again" Angel murmured as he ran his hand down the length of her back. Slowly, he felt her began to relax, as her breathing returned to normal. Although she was beginning to feel slightly calmer, Buffy was nowhere near ready to let go of the man holding her. Her fingers lessened their death grip on his flesh but they made no attempt to move away. Sensing her reluctance and mistaking it for fear, Angel moved his mouth to the top of her head. "There's no need to be afraid. I've got you " He whispered, softly brushing his lips against her temple. "Angel" Buffy's small sigh was barely above a whisper, as she felt her skin burn beneath his lips. This time the feeling of being burned wasn't fearful, but exciting. As she ran her fingers lightly across his bare arm, Angel silently groaned. She had no idea what it did to him when she called him by that name. No idea of the memories that one simple word could provoke.

Pulling her face from the safety of his shoulder, Buffy looked directly into Angel's dark eyes and tried not to react to his nearness.. Or his nakedness. "I know this must be just as confusing for you as it is for me. You can remember so much more than I can and.." Buffy stopped; at that second the pain and loneliness reflected in his eyes told her without words how desperately he had missed her. Reaching up with her hand, she turned his face and softly kissed his lips. At the unexpected show of affection, Angel drew in a sharp breath. The kiss started softly but as each heartbeat passed, it intensified. Then, with more strength then he knew he possessed Angel broke off the kiss and pulled away. "You should try and get some sleep now, it's late" He looked deep into her confused eyes, struggling to keep his voice even. Suddenly the room felt cold and sitting there in just his black boxer shorts he feared he would soon be trembling himself. But it wouldn't be just from the cold. His body ached to continue the kiss, longed to hold her and press her soft body into *their* mattress, claiming her once more as his own.. But not tonight. When they finally did make love Angel wanted it to be because she *wanted* him with her heart, body and soul and not just because she was scared of the dark. When Buffy felt him start to move away, the fear she had pushed aside a few moments earlier raised its ugly head again. "I... I..." She hesitated, shaking her head, unsure if she should continue but knowing that she no longer had a choice. "Please, don't go. I don't want to be on my own. I really need you tonight" Her nervous voice was small and shaky. Angel knew, no matter how hard the temptation would be, he couldn't refuse her. Resting his forehead against hers, he fought to control the race of his own heartbeat. "Okay, I'll stay, but just until you fall asleep" Overcome by tenderness, he smiled softly, as her face relaxed with relief. Pulling back the sheets, he slipped his long body beneath the covers and wrapping a protective arm around her, he hugged her small back into his hard chest. For a few minutes they lay quietly together not moving but, as she felt his long legs rubbing against her, Buffy turned in his arms. Their eyes locked and needing to break the tension, Angel smiled again and brushed a

feather-light kiss to the end of her nose. Feeling safe and secure for the first time that night, Buffy returned the smile with one that was so grateful, it almost melted his heart. Then, with a contented sigh, she rested her head against his chest and with the steady beat of his heart drumming against her ear; she gave in to her exhaustion and let the sleep that she needed, reclaim her. Angel smiled softly as he watched her sleep, his hand lightly stroking her back for the rest of the night. When she woke the next morning, he was gone. ***** Walking into the bathroom, Buffy moved towards the shower but at the last moment she changed her mind. She reached over the bathtub and turned on the taps, releasing a fast flow of steaming water. Slipping her new robe off her shoulders, she waited until the water level had risen to a level of luxury and after testing the temperature with her fingers, she sunk gratefully into its depths. As her body adjusted to the heat, Buffy's tense muscles began to soothe. She had no idea how long she lay there, silently reliving the night before, but it must have been for a while because the water had turned tepid before she reluctantly climbed out. Leaving the bathroom, she hurried along the corridor and walked straight into Angel coming out of his room. " Hey!" Angel was the first to break the awkward silence. "Hey" Buffy tensed when he started to speak but as her eyes flicked over his friendly face, she let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding. "No more bad dreams?" Buffy shook her head in relief. "No, thank you" She whispered shyly, and resisted telling him that the rest of the night her dreams had taken a completely different direction. This time she had dreamt of twisting bodies not crying out in pain, but in passion. "That's good" Angel replied again with a small grin. For a few minutes the uncomfortable small talk continued. "You look very nice this morning" Buffy cursed as she felt her cheeks blush. She couldn't fail to miss the dark, designer suit he was wearing.

Ignoring the colour rising in her cheeks Angel just continued to grin. "I promised Lindsey that I'd go into the office today. As you'll be busy shopping with Darla I thought it would be all right. You are still okay about going with Darla and not me?" Angel asked quietly. He wanted her to say no, he wanted to be the one to help her buy her new clothes but he quickly shut those selfish thoughts out of his head. Buffy needed her friends just as much as she needed him. He couldn't have been more wrong. Buffy was having her own doubts about her planned afternoon with her so called *best* friend. "Sure. Can't wait" Her false smile was frighteningly convincing and on accepting it, Angel started to walk away. As he passed her, Buffy reached out her hand and rested it lightly on his hand. "Liam.. Just one thing. If you have the time, there's somewhere I have to go first" ***** "Are you sure you're ready for this?" Angel asked softly as Buffy lowered herself into the passenger's seat of the shiny black convertible. He had felt the trepidation radiating from her body all morning and it left him frustrated knowing there was nothing he could do but offer her support. Dropping into his own seat, he watched from the corner of his eye as Buffy slowly pulled the taut seatbelt across her small chest and clicked it securely into place. With the slightest nod of her head she looked across and when their eyes met and held, her large hazel orbs reflected not only the deep sadness she carried but also an unexpected flash of determination. "I have to face this. Until I see it for myself it will never be real" Although she tried to sound strong, her small voice failed to hide the pain she was really feeling. Reaching over, Angel squeezed Buffy's hand wanting to offer some measure of comfort and felt her fingers tremble. This time it wasn't passion that caused the reaction, this time it was grief. Feeling utterly helpless and unable to bear the suffering he saw in her eyes, Angel started the car without another word and slowly pulled away from the driveway. *****

Buffy knelt down in the soft, green grass and lovingly laid the bouquet of fresh yellow roses, she had clutched tightly in her hand ever since leaving the flower shop, down in the centre of the grave. For days now the smell of yellow roses had unexplainably haunted her senses. Every time she had turned around the delicate fragrance had awoken a thought deep inside her head, and now she finally understood why. Running her finger gently over the cold marble headstone, Buffy traced out the small letters of her mother's name and a new wave of pain she didn't know was possible crashed over heart. Of all the memories she longed to remember, her mother's death was not one of them. And yet here she was, surrounded by gravestones on a beautiful Tuesday morning, and suddenly the pain returned as if it had only been a day since she buried the woman who had blessed her with life. Buffy closed her eyes as flashes of her past broke into the darkness and pounded her head with the grief. She could now remember the police officer knocking on the door and telling her that her mother had been killed, she saw Dawnie's young face hysterically screaming that it wasn't true. Buffy remembered every second of the funeral and how the rain had fallen that day as if the Gods in heaven shared her sorrow and in sending the rain, they cried the same tears. As she plucked out a few stray tuffs of grass from the otherwise immaculate grave, Buffy felt tears burn in the back of her eyes. Focusing on the pale yellow flowers that her mother had loved so dearly, her vision blurred until she could no longer see anything. She could now only feel and what she felt broke her heart. "Mommy" Her shaking fingers reached out and clenched the grass covering her beloved parent. **Until I see it for myself it will never be real** Her earlier words returned and the sad truth was, it was real, the grave in front of her bearing witness to the fact. Buffy had no choice but to accept that even when her memories finally returned, she would never see her mother again. Angel stood back from the graveside, not wishing to intrude on his wife's grief, but when he saw her shoulders buckle under the weight of her pain he moved quickly to her side.. "I miss her so much.. " Buffy's voice cracked, a sob catching in her throat, and the anguish that she felt was clearly evident on her face. She glanced desperately round the graveyard, looking everywhere but in his direction. When she did finally turn towards Angel, her large hazel eyes were brimming with tears. This time there was no holding back. This time the tears had to fall. In a heartbeat, Angel reached down and pulling her up from the grassy graveside, he

wrapped her tightly in his arms. As the pain, loneliness and grief finally became too great to hold in, Buffy buried her head against his hard chest and cried. Knowing there was nothing he could possibly say that would make a difference, Angel just held her, whispering meaningless words and rocking her gently in his arms. **This is becoming a habit** He thought as the memory of their night together played over in his head **But is holding the woman you adore in your arms and comforting her a habit you ever want to break?** He already knew the answer to that question. Although he hated seeing his wife so upset. He knew he would be happy to hold her in his arms for the rest of their lives. As Buffy's petite body shook from the force of her sobs, Angel tightened his arms around her and encouraged her to cry all the pent up grief out of her heart once and for all. For a while time seemed to stand still. Finally, reluctantly, Buffy raised her head and when she looked Angel in the face, his dark eyes blazed with his concern for her. Looking into her heartbroken eyes, Angel longed to kiss away her pain but he knew once again, that this was not the time or the place. Without saying a word, he reached out, grasping her hand gently in his and lead her away from the cemetery and back to the car. ****** "Come on I'll take you home" Angel spoke quietly as he opened the passenger door of their car. "No, not home. I'm supposed to be meeting Darla this afternoon" Buffy took a deep breath and tried to pull herself back together. Waiting until his wife was safely seated, Angel ran around the other side of the car and dropped down into his own seat. "Buffy, maybe you should go shopping another day" He asked as he placed the car key in the ignition and fired the engine. Without looking up, Buffy shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. Really. Besides, you said yesterday that Darla is taking time off work today to take me shopping, so I can't cancel on her now" Not that Buffy wanted to cancel. After re-watching her wedding video more times then she could remember, she was quite looking forward to meeting Darla Penn. No matter how hard she tried Buffy couldn't shake the thought from her head that they were not the

close friends that Angel had led her to believe. She didn't understand where this feeling of doubt was coming from, but she knew that she would only be able to get over it once she met the woman for herself. Raising her arm, Buffy checked her watch and tried to swap the frown she was wearing into a smile. It was a good job Angel was driving and concentrating on the road, because she failed miserably. " I have a few hours yet before I'm due to meet her, can you drop me off at my mother's I mean, my Gallery, I'd really like to take a look around the place. Maybe if I can see where my mother worked all those years it might help trigger more of my memory" Angel wasn't sure if it would work but he agreed just the same. ***** Buffy gripped Angel's hand tighter as they walked towards the Joyce Summers art gallery on Main Street. It was a small building and as she approached the front door, she hesitated. "You don't have to go inside" Angel said and softly squeezed her fingers. Buffy took a deep breath and nodded her head. "Yes I do. If I want to find the past I have to look where it happened. Seeing her determination, and knowing there was no changing her mind, Angel withdrew a small bunch of keys from his pocket and after turning the largest key in the lock, he pushed open the door. Walking inside the gallery, the small old-fashioned bell hanging over the doorway rang announcing their arrival. Once inside, Buffy turned her face up to see where the sound had come from and on noticing the small antique over the door, she smiled. "I remember that bell" Her whole face came alive as another memory fell into place. "You've been saying for years that you wanted to take it down and replace it, but you never did" Angel laughed. Moving away from the door Buffy walked slowly around the displays. "Has the gallery been closed for a long time" She asked running her finger down the small glass counter and watching a faint line appear in the thin layer of dust "Anya kept it open for a few weeks but...."

"Anya?" Buffy interrupted. For a second the name seemed to register in her mind but just as quickly, it was gone. "Anya Chase was the young woman that worked for you. You used to say she had a great head for business, although her public relations skills left a lot to be desired..." Angel laughed again as he remembered the small assistant and her aptitude for making a quick buck. "So where is she now?" Buffy's eyes returned to the dust covering the galley and knew nobody had cleaned in weeks. "I'm afraid she no longer works here, she quit, not long after..."Angel's voice trailed off unsure of how to continue. The day had been hard enough on Buffy as it was, it wasn't the time or the place to bring up the small fact that she'd run out on him three months earlier and to this day he still had no idea why. Closing the gallery hadn't been done out of spite, after his wife had disappeared, he was simply too worried and upset to care. Walking across the room Buffy studied the many works of art hoping that something would jump out on her. It didn't. Turning around she caught Angel glancing at his watch. "You promised Lindsey that you'd drop in at the office today, didn't you?" Angel nodded "I should really, it's only a couple of blocks away. Why don't you come with me, I could show you around..." Noticing a small door that had the word office clearly written across it, Buffy shook her head. "I think I'd like to stay here for a while," She said as she moved closer towards the office door. Something invisible almost pulling her. Seeing her need to be alone, Angel reluctantly agreed. "Why don't I call Darla from the office and tell her to pick you up from here?" He offered. "Yeah, that would be better" Without looking back Buffy nodded. As she opened the office door and walked slowly inside, she didn't even notice Angel leave the gallery.

****

Deeply engrossed with the gallery invoices, Buffy almost missed the small bell ring as the front door opened. Thinking that Liam had returned, or maybe the dreaded Darla was early, she placed the book she had been studying down on the desk and walked into the main room. On seeing that it was neither Liam or Darla, she frowned, realising that she should have locked the door. The last thing she needed was for a customer to come in asking questions about a subject she was yet to remember. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid the galley is closed today" Buffy apologised as she walked from the office. On reaching the front desk she stopped. He was tall, fair and incredibly good-looking. That was the first thing she noticed. Tight faded jeans sheathed his lean hips and a white T-shirt hugged his well-developed chest. His eyes were bright blue, sparkling, with just a hint of mischief and when he looked directly at her, Buffy almost swore they devoured her every movement. "I. Um...." She didn't get a chance to continue. With three long strides he had passed the counter and had swept her clean off her feet. "Bloody hell.. I thought I was seeing a ghost for a minute" His hoarse voice brushed against her ear. Buffy could no longer breathe as she was then crushed into his hard embrace. "Dammit Buffy, I've been worried sick. Where the hell have you been for the last three months?" "Please!.. Please put me down!" Buffy gasped, finding herself gripped so tightly against a strong masculine chest, that she could hardly find the air to breathe. For a second, her whole body froze as a wave of panic crashed over her and almost scared her rigid. When unknown fingers started brushing against places they had no right to touch, Buffy frantically searched for a name, a memory, anything that would explain why she was being molested and nearly crushed to death by a complete stranger. But no matter how hard she searched the black void that had temporarily replaced her memory, she found nothing about this man that would help. "Please! Put... Me... Down." Buffy gasped again, her eyes widening in horror as warm lips slipped across her earlobe. At this second urgent plea, his large hands slowly released their grip and gently lowered

her feet back to the ground. Backing away, Buffy reached out her trembling fingers and gripped the edge of the desk for support. Struggling to restart her breathing, she tilted her head and stared hard at the handsome face grinning excitedly in front of her. He didn't look like your average psychopath. Her would be molester was strikingly handsome. With short bleached blonde hair, exquisite cheekbones and boyish good looks, he definitely had the word *honey* stamped all over him. But it was his eyes that Buffy was drawn to. Staring deeply, she noticed that his eyes were now more green than blue and, when the sunlight danced lightly across them, they twinkled with mischief and just the tiniest hint of danger. The small jagged scar that crossed his left eyebrow only added to the mystery. "God! I've missed you, Summers" He chuckled and the colour of his eyes changed yet again. **Summers?** Buffy opened her mouth but suddenly found herself speechless. Raising his hand, her good looking stranger ran his fingers lightly across her cheek, his happy grin turning slightly into a frown as he noticed the almost faded bruising. "Are you all right, pet? You've gone a bit white" When he spoke his voice was a mixture of laughter and concern, and something else. Buffy thought hard for a moment and then it came to her. His accent wasn't American like hers, it was English. Looking deeply into her dubious eyes, he smiled and took a step forward and she in return, took one back. As she apprehensively stepped away, Buffy's back bumped into the corner of the glass counter and she froze again as her withdrawal came to an abrupt end. "I heard about the accident " He took a another small step forward, his eyes twinkling as they took in the changes in her appearance. Buffy flinched as her back pressed harder into the cool glass display cabinet. Under this stranger's hungry gaze, she suddenly started to feel uncomfortable. Growing slightly nervous at the closeness of his lean, tanned body, she silently cursed herself for sending Liam to his office and leaving her alone and vulnerable.

The visitor took a final step forward and his gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes. Buffy felt her heartbeat increase and she tensed as he started to speak. "Why didn't you call me? Are you okay?" His soft voice asked tenderly. When he tried to reach for her again, Buffy quickly side stepped him and moved away. "Buffy? What the f..." "I'm sorry... I... do I know you?" She blurted out her reply before he had a chance to finish his curse. "Know me" The man blinked, then laughed at the absurdity of the question. Buffy looked at him curiously. " I was hurt in the crash and it affected my memory" She explained as simply as she could. The last thing she wanted to do at that moment was go into personal details with a complete stranger. But even as the thought entered her head, Buffy could tell from the look in his eyes that he knew her even if she had no memory of him. She was right. "You don't remember me?" A tiny flicker of confusion wrinkled his brow. Buffy shook her head. "It's Will, Buffy. William Pennington " He waited patiently for a few seconds for her to make the connection. Buffy ran the name inside her head but it still came up blank. At his expectant look, she felt the absurd impulse to say. 'How do you do' but realising that it would sound like a slap in the face, she just shook her head again in polite regret. "I don't believe this, are you playing games with me?" "I'm not playing games, I'm not playing anything" she argued thinly "I have amnesia" "Amnesia? " The small word almost choked him with disbelief. Buffy nodded and sighed.

" I've lost almost 90% of my memory. I'm sorry, but like I said before, I have absolutely no idea who you are" He didn't speak, his intense eyes studying her face for signs that she was joking, or worse still, lying. Feeling even more uncomfortable, Buffy cleared her throat. "I guess we must be friends then, it's just..?" She paused, not knowing what to say next. "Friends! I think that's got to be the understatement of the year, luv" This time when he laughed it was cold and humourless and the sound made Buffy shiver from her head right down to her toes. At her bewildered expression he snorted, and then continued. " No, I wouldn't really call us friends, pet. I'm not sure what you'd call us these days, but we have been sleeping together for over a year" Buffy watched his lips move and heard the words form but, for all the sense they made, he might as well have been speaking a foreign language. "That's not true" She instinctively denied the allegation. The thought that she could have cheated on her husband was so alien to her that it was almost impossible to conceive. **If she had ever made love to this man she would have remembered** Buffy silently argued, desperate for his words to be a lie. **But you didn't remember Liam when you first saw him** A small voice in her head argued back **But my heart remembers Liam, my body remembers Liam** A vision of her husband's face then came to her mind and her heart sank. Ignoring her pain, William leaned against the counter and reaching into the back pocket of his tight jeans, he removed a packet of cigarettes. Realising that they were empty, he screwed up the wrapper and angrily tossed it to the wastepaper bin at his feet. "I can't be sleeping with you... I'm married" Buffy spoke quietly. She suddenly remembered her wedding video and the way her eyes had looked adoringly towards her new husband. There was no way a few short months later she would have taken a lover. **Would I? **

As she studied the cocky expression on his face Buffy feared that William Pennington looked far too sure of himself. "Yeah, I know you're married, but it never worried you before. Your old man was such an arsehole you couldn't wait to jump between my sheets. For your information, *you* chased *me* Summers, not that I'm complaining." He smirked and his eyes narrowed slightly. "It's not possible." Buffy denied the allegation again in total disbelief as all the colour drained from her face. She couldn't believe that something this important had been so seriously overlooked. William just stared at her with stormy eyes. "You're serious, aren't you" He said at last "You really don't remember me?" Buffy moistened her lips "My memory before the accident is almost blank, we're hoping..." "We? Not that bastard husband of yours. Did you remember him?" William's voice rose and his eyes changed from stormy to almost deadly. Buffy shivered, realising there was obviously no love lost between the two men. **And yet if Liam knew, why hadn't he said anything** The thought bothered her. "Liam, well..." Buffy started to explain but before she could complete the sentence her words were lost in an angry outburst. "So! You can remember him, but not me?" William's handsome face grew pale, his eyes darkened and for an instant, Buffy felt a small tremor of fear. Then, in less than a heartbeat, he reached out, and taking Buffy's face firmly between his hands, William brought his mouth crashing down on her lips. Startled, Buffy struggled as his long arms wrapped themselves around her body and pulled her closer into his arms. As his tongue slipped into her mouth Buffy pulled violently away. **This is wrong** A thousand tiny voices cried into her head. She didn't have one memory of ever kissing this man before. Although his kiss was warm and passionate Buffy knew she couldn't respond. She knew deep in her heart that kissing this man wasn't right. There wasn't any logic in her thinking, just a strong gut reaction and that reaction told her that something about this man just didn't add up.

"Don't touch me" Buffy struggled to reclaim her composure as her large hazel eyes flashed her distrust. She needed to think. Stepping back, William let out a deep sigh of frustration and ran his hands through his short blonde hair. "Buffy, I think that knock to your head did more than just wipe out a few memory cells. What on earth's gotten into you? I've already told you that we're lovers, I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count and now suddenly you can't bear to even kiss me " He shouted angrily. Although he sounded genuine Buffy still couldn't find it in her heart to believe him. "I need time to think about this, I want you to leave." "What is there to think about? I love you and you love me" William shrugged his shoulders. In his eyes it was as simple as that. "No!" Buffy shook her head violently "How can I love you when I can't even remember you" "But you remember that bastard, Angelus" William spat out in fury. His fists curled and he had a strong urge to smash them through the glass counter in temper. Buffy glared back. "Don't call him that" She defended her husband without a second thought.. "I don't bloody believe this". William closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm the raging fire that burned through his body. As he opened his eyes again, he looked into Buffy's face and hardly recognised her frightened features. "So now what, you're suddenly in love with him all over again? " He demanded furiously. He didn't give her time to answer. "The next thing you'll be telling me is you let the sod back in your bed" At the slight rise in the colour of her cheeks, William's last thread of control snapped. "You already have, haven't you. Dammit Buffy, you're sleeping with the bastard again?" His voice exploded. "That's none of your business"

Buffy's eyes flickered around the room looking for an escape route. She didn't really believe that he was dangerous but she doubted she had ever seen anybody that angry and frustrated before. "None of my bloody business???..... The hell it is. How much of your life do you remember with him? You left him once and now you're right back where you started" "I asked you to leave. Please, if you care about me you'll give me time to sort this mess out, once and for all" Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if searching for some inner strength to continue. William sighed, but then reluctantly nodded his head. "Okay, I'll give you the space you need. But, like it or not, I'm in your life, you can't just shut me out." "I'm not shutting you out, I simply need time to remember" "Yeah, right. Okay, you win, I'll give you what you want but, I'm warning you, don't trust him, not for a second, luv. He'll rip your bleeding heart out " William finished and when he looked back up, Buffy watched as the anger drained from his face, leaving his eyes full of pain. Shaking his head sadly, he turned away from her so that she wouldn't see his heart shatter into a million pieces, and slowly walked away. When William reached the front door he stopped and leaned his forehead against the cold glass, keeping his face forward, not wanting to see the confusion on her face as he delivered his final words. "Hopefully, when you finally come to your senses, you'll remember that I love you much more than he *ever* did, and when he breaks your heart again..." William swallowed hard and his voice lowered down into a painful whisper. "I'll still be here waiting, and Buffy, I'll still love you" With those last words the unhappy young man, flung open the door and disappeared down the street. Buffy stood very still as the door swung closed, the small bell, over head, ringing its heart out. In the space of a few minutes, her complicated life had once again been thrust into the dark. As she fought to come to terms with the new information, two very different voices replayed over and over inside her head. ** No. We're not friends, Buffy. You're my wife** **No, I wouldn't really call us friends, pet. I'm not sure what you'd call us these days, but

we have been sleeping together for over a year** Buffy gripped the counter until her knuckles turned white, as more and more memories from the recent week replayed before her eyes. Two men, so different in appearance and yet both claiming to know her better than she knew herself, fought each other inside her head. **I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count and suddenly you can't bear to kiss me** William's arrogant boast was quickly replaced with her husband's gentle words of reassurance. **There's no need to be afraid. I've got you** He had been right, in Angel's arms she wasn't afraid. Buffy sighed, desperately needing those arms around her at that moment. **When you come to your senses, hopefully you'll remember that I love you much more that he ever did, and when he breaks your heart again...I'll still be here and Buffy, I'll still love you** **I won't let anybody hurt you, not ever again** Buffy closed her eyes as a solitary tear trickled down her cheek. Just when the light was beginning to break through her nightmarish life, William Pennington breezes in and extinguishes it. Standing there, still clinging to the counter for support, her heart raced uncomfortably fast and her throat started to close in, suffocating her. **Was it really possible that she had cheated on Liam?** Every instinct rejected the idea. Liam had been kind, considerate and loving, nowhere near the monster that William had painted. But why would William lie? He had seemed genuinely shocked to hear about the amnesia. **What could he possibly gain by lying?** Buffy asked herself as more words returned to haunt her mind. ** How much of your life do you remember with him? You left him once and now you're right back where you started** "Left him?" Buffy gasped out loud, anguish and pain laced her voice as she relived her so-called lover's words. It was only now, when she had time to reflect, that the true meaning of the statement sunk in to her head.

**It feels as if I've not been here for years.. Liam, just how long was I away?** **A little over three months** **What happened to my clothes? I mean all the hangers in my room are empty** "Oh God" Buffy gasped as the pieces of her life started to fall into place. Bending over, she clutching her stomach with one hand while the other flew to cover her mouth, but she was too late, as her insides violently clenched, most of her breakfast decorated the floor...

William needed air. No, correction, he needed a cigarette, a drink and then he seriously needed to hit somebody. Hard. It didn't matter who. No, actually it did matter who, in fact it mattered a lot. As his long legs moved angrily down Main Street, William's troubled mind filled with visions of his fists punching Liam Angelus' head right through the nearest wall. **How can I love you when I can't even remember you** Buffy's frightened voice echoed deep inside his head as he moved away from the gallery as fast as the muscles in his legs would allow **But you remember that bastard, Angelus?** **So now what, you're suddenly in love with him all over again? The next thing you'll be telling me is you let the sod back in your bed** **You already have, haven't you. Dammit Buffy, you're sleeping with the bastard again** **That's none of your business** As William's thoughts turned to Liam worming his way back into Buffy's bed, his heart raced, frantically pumping the bitterness he felt into every cell of his body. "Bloody bastard" William cursed in frustration. As he continued down the street, his foot struck out at an empty coke can lying in his path and sent it spinning across the pavement with the full force of his anger. For Will, it didn't matter how much distance he put between him and Buffy, her painful words continued to crush his broken heart with every new step he took. **I can't be sleeping with you... I'm married.... ** "Yeah, don't I know it" He mumbled to himself and stepping off the pavement, he quickly crossed the road.

As he headed in the direction of Willie's bar, the other pedestrians on the street quickly moved out of the troubled young man's path. "Hey! Wait! Where do you think you're going?" A female voice called and although William heard the question clearly, he made no attempt to slow down. "William!" Her voice called again and the cold sharp tone left little doubt in his mind that there would be real trouble if he didn't answer her. **Tough luck. Bitch** Without slowing, William threw his reply over his shoulder. "I'm really not in the mood to play happy families right this minute. So just Piss off and leave me alone" He muttered harshly and intending to put as much distance between them as possible, he increased his stride. The blonde woman following him was small but she moved swiftly and within a few seconds she had caught up and moved along side. "For a poet you really use the most charming language." She purred sarcastically, and from her vantagepoint she couldn't fail to notice the anguish radiating from his lean body. As the neon sigh advertising Willie's bar caught his eye, William ignored his unwanted companion and turned sharply towards the entrance. "Dammit, William! Will you slow down?" she finally snapped, as her small heels struggled to keep up the hurried pace. "Okay, you want charming, how's this for charming" Finally losing his temper, Will spun a U-turn and glared dangerously into the woman's pale blue eyes " I'm having a really bad day, so please, do us both a favour, and...." He sighed deeply and decided not to finish the insult. From the determined look on her face it would have been a complete waste of time anyway. As he started to turn away again, a small, well-manicured hand reached out and came to rest lightly on his arm. "Stop acting so damn pathetic and just tell me where you're going?" At the fleeting look of pain that flickered in his eyes, the woman's voice softened slightly. "Honey! It couldn't have gone that badly" She cooed as her long fingers slid softly across

his bare arm. The fair-haired man, with thunder in his dangerous eyes glared for a few more seconds and then shook off her unwanted hand. "After what I've just done, I think I deserve a bloody stiff drink. Nah, make that the whole fucking bottle." William turned his head towards the neon sign and could almost taste the cool beer he desperately needed. "There will be plenty of time for that later. Just tell me what happened at the gallery?" The female snapped back, impatient for an answer to her question. With a sigh, William shook his head. Suddenly needing a cigarette, he reached into the back pocket of his jeans only to remember the empty packet he had earlier tossed away at the gallery. **Don't touch me** The moment he thought of the gallery, the memories of Buffy pushing him away returned and once again his fragile mood turned black. As if reading his mind, his companion pulled an unopened carton of cigarettes from her jacket pocket and carelessly threw them at him. Without a word, William caught the packet, ripped off the top and after lighting up; he drew the thick smoke deep into his lungs. As the nicotine entered his blood stream, and set to work at soothing his nerves, Will let out a deep sigh of relief. "I take it you saw her?" The woman's cool words cut through the calm haze that had formed inside his head and immediately returned the tension to his body. "You know damn well that I saw her, you cunning bitch. After all, you were the one who told me where she was going to be" William shot the reply back and returned the cigarette to his mouth. "And did she believe you?" The female asked coldly, but she couldn't stop the delighted smirk on her face shinning through her cool show of indifference. Everything was going better than she had dreamed possible. Buffy being left alone at the gallery so soon had been a godsend. At the question William's eyes narrowed. "And why wouldn't she believe me, Darla?" He took a step forward but the much smaller woman just blocked his path and refused to move.

William tilted his face closer; and a small muscle twitched in the side of his jaw as dared his companion to argue with him. "You told her everything we agreed and she believed you?" Darla's eyes lit up in delight. " I told her the truth" As he replied to the question, William exhaled a mouthful of smoke right in the woman's smirking face. The insult was ignored. "The truth?" Darla laughed cruelly, as she ran the two words over her tongue. " Well, I guess it's the truth as your twisted mind sees it. My dear boy, before her accident, Liam's little cheerleader never gave you so much as a second glance, and we both know it." The second she saw William flinch she knew she had struck a raw nerve. "My relationship with Buffy is none of your God damn business" William growled through clenched teeth. The female smiled. "So you keep telling me." The disbelief in her voice wasn't lost on either of them. Darla drew in a deep breath and when she met his blue eyes again her expression was deadly serious. "Honey, I really don't care whether you were screwing the bitch or not, just make sure you convince *her* that you were." Dropping what was left of his cigarette to the floor, William ground it out with the toe of his boot. This time it was his turn to smirk. "Don't worry about me, I'll have Buffy eating out of the palm of my hand before you know it" **And then I'll really screw her on that office floor ** He added as a silently afterthought. At the prospect, William smiled for the very first time since leaving the gallery. Darla watched as the light returned to his cool eyes and with a sigh of disbelief, she shook her head. It still amazed her that he could possibly love the skinny blonde girl who

had made her life hell for so many years. But it didn't matter; in fact it actually helped with her plan. "You're sick, Will, and you're welcome to the little bitch. As long as she stays away from Liam, I really don't care what happens to her. But I promise you this; I'm not losing Liam Angelus again, not for anyone. If Buffy Summers gets in my way this time, amnesia will be the least of her problems " Darla smiled, but her eyes were so hard William almost shivered. When she spoke again she left him with little doubt how deadly serious she was. "If she crosses me one more time, I'll crush her like a bug" Inside the Joyce Summer's Gallery it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Nothing moved for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, the first sound that broke through the eerie stillness was the rapid beating of a heart. It pounded so hard behind the ribcage of the small woman's chest that there was serious danger of physical pain. Then, somewhere in the distance, a new sound joined the equation. The muffled ticking of a small clock was the only sign that time hadn't completely come to a stand still, although for the life of her, Buffy found that fact hard to deal with. From the second William Pennington's tall frame had disappeared through the front door of the gallery, reality had turned into a nightmare. Although the antique bell over the front door had long stopped ringing, Buffy almost swore the sound still reverberated right into her very soul. Even when she closed her eyes, she could still feel the vibrations echoing through her body. As she wrapped her arms around her chest to stop her trembling, she knew it wasn't only the ringing of the bell that had left an echo. Buffy was now filled with so much confusion she feared her head would explode. She had thought not remembering her past was hard enough, but learning the things William Pennington had just told her was a million times worse. **Friends! I think that's got to be the understatement of the year, luv** Even though she was now totally alone, Buffy still felt William's presence all around the room. His clear-cut voice remained and taunted her from every direction. ** No, I wouldn't really call us friends, pet. I'm not sure what you'd call us these days, but we have been sleeping together for over a year**

"Oh God. What have I done?" Buffy whispered out loud as she felt her knees begin to shake again. Alone and vulnerable, Buffy was beginning to get really frightened. She was suddenly terrified that the past life she had searched so hard to find wasn't the happy secure place she had believed it to be. In the blink of an eye, her safety blanket of the perfect past had been totally stripped away and the small fragments of her new life were now spinning totally out of control. Not only was she not the person she had believed she was, but Buffy Angelus was now somebody she didn't even know if she even liked. Once again the frightened young woman was plagued with questions she couldn't begin to answer. "So, if I wasn't the happy loving wife in the video, who the hell was I?" This new question haunted her more than any of the others. **Had she really been the kind of woman that would take a lover so easily and cheat behind her husband's back? ** Buffy shook her head, the idea was just too horrid, but sadly there were worse thoughts to follow. **If William Pennington was telling the truth, and that was exactly the woman she had been, why had she run off and left her husband *and * her lover behind. Was it possible she had run out on both of them? ** Buffy couldn't think straight as another wave of nausea rose over her and sent her small frame doubling over with the force of its anger. For ten minutes her fragile stomach continued to wrench but after the second time of decorating the gallery floor, there was simply nothing left for the wrenching to bring up. Finally, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth and tucking her loose hair behind her ears, Buffy straightened up. With all the effort she could muster she turned and, walking back into the small office at the rear of the gallery, silently closed the door behind her. The change of environment brought little comfort. **I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count. ** At the memory of William's crude words, Buffy shuddered. **How could she have done something so intimate with a man she had absolutely no memory of. If their bodies had really made love on the office floor more times then he could count; surely there should be something in the back of her mind that would prove he was telling the truth. But there wasn't. There wasn't any memory inside her shattered

head of William at all ** Of course, she hadn't remembered marrying Liam at first. Buffy tried to make sense of the situation but her argument was quickly shot to pieces. She might not have remembered Liam Angelus as her mate but she had always known his face and his name. Her subconscious might have misplaced him as being her husband, but her heart and soul hadn't wiped him out. When he touched her skin, her whole body had responded with a will of its own. William was a completely different story. It didn't matter how hard she tried; Buffy couldn't find any feelings for William at all. Not in her memories, not in her heart and not in her soul. He said they were lovers and she had no reason to think he would lie, but the plain truth was, William Pennington meant nothing to her at all. Feeling incredibly light-headed, Buffy threw open the office window and resting her head lightly against the security bars, she filled her lungs with a rush of cool air. Outside, the world went about its business as normal but on the other side of the window, Buffy Summers Angelus felt as if her life was crashing down all around her. For a woman who, only a few hours earlier, had no past, present or future, she suddenly found herself in a very difficult position. On one hand there was Liam, not only a husband, but also a man she knew she could love very easily. He had pulled her out of the darkness and had held her through the pain and the confusion that had followed. The very last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, especially if he hadn't know about her affair. **Her affair** That thought returned Buffy to the other man in the equation. William. The good-looking blonde lover that had come out of nowhere and genuinely seemed to care about her, even when she had pushed him away. He had promised her that Liam would break her heart again. **Was it really possible that he had broken her heart once before. Was that why she had left him?** Too many questions and nowhere near enough answers made Buffy's head throb with uncertainty. **Was Liam still wearing a mask? Or maybe the mask belonged to William. Someone was lying** As Buffy closed her eyes she could see Liam and William so clearly. Both men were

incredibly good looking in totally different ways. Sexy, passionate, charming and kind. She could easily see why she would have been attracted to either of them, but Buffy also knew in her heart that when she had kissed them, only one of the two had made her heart yearn for the kiss to continue. Only one of them had made her blood course through her veins at a thousand miles an hour. In her right mind she wouldn't have looked at another man so soon after marrying Liam. **But had she been in her right mind? Or had Liam somehow driven her into the arms of another man? ** Leaning over the small sink in the women's rest room, Buffy splashed her face with cool water and took a deep breath to calm her shaking body. Tilting her head slightly, she hesitantly looked at her reflection in the mirror hanging just above the sink and shuddered. Her eyes, not to mention her nose, were both flushed bright red, while her cheeks were now a ghostly shade of white. Raising her trembling fingers she slowly traced the contours of the face staring out at her from behind the glass. "Who the hell are you?" Buffy asked as she tried desperately to see past the reflection and into the person who wore her face. **What sort of woman had she *really* been? A loving wife as the wedding video portrayed, or a adulterous bitch who had cheated on her husband and then ran out on him without a second thought** As small droplets of water dripped from the edge of her hair and rolled slowly down her face, Buffy carefully studied the information she had collected over the last few days. **Had she really been having a torrid affair behind Liam's back?** Every cell in her body rejected the idea, but in all honesty, Buffy had no idea what kind of relationship her marriage had been. When she had first woken in the hospital, Liam had been cold, almost untouchable. It was only once they had been home for a few days, that he had dropped the mask he wore so carefully over his expressions and a kind, patient and loving man had emerged. Then just as she was beginning to fall back in love with him, William Pennington enters her life and it all gets thrown back into confusion. "No wonder you ran away" The first bitter sting of tears was already burning behind her eyes as self-pity rose up from its hiding place and threatened to drown her. But this time Buffy wouldn't allow herself the luxury of crying. **She needed to pull herself together and sort this mess out once and for all and then she

needed...** So lost in her thoughts, Buffy missed the small bell ringing again over the door, announcing that a new visitor had entered the building. Splashing her face one last time, she reached out her hand and finding a paper towel in the dispenser, she dried off the remaining moisture. As her thoughts turned to finding her bag and repairing the damage to her makeup, Buffy also missed the creak of the office door slowly being pushed open. "Hello Buffy" Startled, Buffy turned. "Liam told me to meet you here. God, you look dreadful, what on earth happened?" Buffy didn't need introductions. The face of the woman smiling at her was now imprinted firmly on her brain. Not in the form of a memory. Buffy knew this was the face from her wedding video. Standing in an immaculate white designer suit, with matching shoes and perfect makeup was her so called *best friend*. A best friend Buffy had a sneaky feeling she'd be a real fool to trust. Especially where her husband was concerned. As Buffy's eyes caught sight of her own dishevelled reflection in the mirror; she fought off the wave of panic that threatened to strike and instead forced a small smile to her lips. "Hello, Darla. It's good to see you again" Her voice was remarkably calm. Buffy walked forward, but as the two women embraced she heard a small warning voice deep inside her head. **So this woman is your best friend?** ** Not in a million years** "After spending all of your husband's money, I really think we deserve a rest." Darla threw back her head and laughed as they descended the escalator at the mall. As she giggled her long blonde hair bobbed perfectly around her slim shoulders and her shapely figure attracted lustful glances from every passing male within a twenty-foot radius. Darla knew she looked good. After spending countless years, and thousands of dollars, to

get the right look, she knew she wore it well. For Darla, attracting men had never been a problem; they flocked around her like moths to an open flame. All but one. Only one man had ever rejected her advances and that, of course, had to be the only man on earth she had ever really wanted. But it hadn't stopped her. Rejection had never been a problem before and as Darla stepped off the escalator and caught sight of her and Buffy's reflections in the large store window to her left, she knew without a doubt that it wouldn't be a problem now. Buffy's pale face and skinny body looked almost childish next to her stunning appearance. The fact that she had already tricked the bitch out of Liam's life once only added to her twisted confidence. "Come on, I know this great pasta house. You'll love it." Without another word, Darla placed her small shoe back on solid ground, turned to the right and, swinging her hips, swiftly moved away. Lost for words, Buffy stared at her silently for a few seconds and watched in wonder as her so called *friend* slinked almost catlike across the floor of the mall. Struggling to keep up, she rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh of relief that the shopping nightmare was finally coming to an end. By now both her small hands were filled with carrier bags and Darla's poor joke about spending all of Liam's money wasn't that far from the truth. She had tried purchasing just the basics but even doing that had left a large dent in her husband's credit card. That was the trouble with owning nothing but the clothing she stood up in. As much as Buffy hated shopping with Darla she knew it as an evil necessity. Until her fragile memory returned, she had no choice but to rely on the generosity of others. She hated feeling so useless and made a strong mental point to memorise every shop she was likely to need in the future. But not everything she saw was unknown. Shops that were vaguely familiar caused little sparks to flare in her memory but the flashes were blurred and fleeting. Family days out at the mall, with her mom and Dawn, occasionally rose up from the darkness of her shattered past and taunted her with half promises of remembering. For a few tantalising seconds they danced close to the surface of her memory but, as Buffy fought through the confusion to join the pieces of the puzzle together, they quickly faded from her reach. As Buffy watched Darla move further away from her, she reflected on the short amount of time they had spent together and as much as she hated to admit it, she still knew absolutely nothing about this woman at all. Although the shopping trip had proved a success, Buffy was increasingly frustrated that she hadn't learned more about her past.

Darla had been quiet for most of the afternoon. Apart from the odd comment about a certain style of dress or the colour of a pair of leather pants, Darla had been content to just study Buffy from a safe distance and watch for any signs that her amnesia claim was nothing but a annoying sham. Darla Penn was convinced that Buffy's memory loss was all part of an elaborate trick to worm her way back into Liam's affections, but she had no intention of ever allowing that happen again. From the moment Liam had told her about the accident and the convenient amnesia that had followed, Darla had been filled with doubts about its authenticity. Darla was convinced she would see through it in a heartbeat, she had known Buffy nearly all of their lives and there was no way on earth her rival would be able to pretend forever. But back at the gallery, when Darla had first stared into her troubled eyes, the confidant, strong, woman Buffy Summers had always portrayed now seemed lost behind a dark wall of confusion. She didn't seem to be pretending at all and it frustrated Darla all afternoon that she couldn't find a way to break through the masquerade and expose her rival as a fraud. But she wasn't about to give up. With a smile planted firmly on her face, she watched and waited patiently for the girl she hated with a vengeance to trip up and show herself for the liar Darla believed she was. But it didn't happen. Darla's cunning eyes followed Buffy's every move but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't catch Buffy out with a single lie By the end of the afternoon she had no choice but to accept that the little ex-cheerleader was indeed telling the truth. It was a set back and a bitter pill to swallow, but if the amnesia was true and she really had lost all of her past memory, there was always plan B. **William** As the two women worked their way out of the shopping area and on to the main street, Buffy sighed deeply and wished with all her heart that she had stayed in bed that morning. **Stayed in bed with Liam** The unexpected thought of her husband brought a smile to her lips for the first time that afternoon. But, just as the warm feeling washed over her heart, a cold dread replaced it with the memory of Will Pennington's devastating revaluation. **Was he really her lover?**

**No no no no no no no no** Buffy fought to shut out of the handsome young man's face but no matter how hard she tried, the word *guilty* wouldn't release its sharp claws from her soul. "If it's all the same to you I'd much rather go home and put my feet up for a few hours" She tried to refuse the offer of a meal but she was quickly dismissed. Darla spun around. "Oh no, that won't do at all" Her bright blue eyes sparkled and although Buffy was looking straight at her, she failed miserably to read the expression the other woman wore so carefully over her gaze. Darla Penn, like Liam, was a master at hiding her feelings and as the day wore on Buffy was beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable in her presence. The thought that they had once been close, even best friends was becoming more alien with every passing minute. There was simply nothing about this strange young woman that Buffy could relate too. It had nothing to do with her lack of memory, Buffy's female intuition told her that Darla Penn was simply too good to be true. "Honey, I've been dying to talk to you properly ever since Liam told me you were home. Come on, I insist we at least grab a cup of coffee, it's my treat" Darla steered Buffy through the door of the most expensive restaurant in Sunnydale and made a large fuss about getting the best table in the house. After leaving her breakfast all over the gallery floor, the last thing Buffy wanted at that moment in time was food. Darla, on the other hand, had no intention of taking no for an answer and at the determined look on her face, Buffy felt too tired to put up any real form of resistance. **Liam, where the hell are you when I need you?** For the second time that day, Buffy found herself asking that question. Needing a few minutes alone to collect her thoughts, she escaped to the ladies restroom, but when she finally returned to the table, Buffy found to her horror that Darla had not only ordered coffee she had also ordered the house special for both of them. "There you are, Buffy. I thought for a moment you had *forgotten* where we were sitting" Looking up from the table, Darla teased and grinned a row of perfect white teeth. For some unknown reason Buffy suddenly understood how a fly would feel caught in a spider's web.

She was trapped into spending more time with a person she really didn't like very much and in such a small environment, the walls felt as if they were slowly closing in. Looking toward the exit Buffy surrendered gracefully, knowing that there was simply no way of getting out without making a real fool of herself. "I just left a message for Liam. I told him not to worry about you; we were still catching up. I don't know about you Buffy, but after spending all that money I'm suddenly ravenous" Darla laughed again and her smile grew even larger. **Come into my parlour said the spider to the fly** **Stop it** **Don't trust her** **STOP IT! ** While the voices deep inside her head battled with each other, Buffy cringed and realised that a long tiring day was just about to get a hell of a lot longer... and a whole lot more tiring. Slowly, she pulled out the wooden chair opposite her companion and reluctantly sat down. "Now you can ask me all those questions I know you're just dying to ask" Darla picked up a bottle of house wine and, ignoring Buffy's refusal, she filled the two tall glasses on the table with the clear cool liquid. "I was hoping you could fill in a few of the blanks" Buffy asked and totally ignored the glass of white wine the other woman placed in front of her. "Sure honey" Darla purred softly, and raising her own glass to her lips, she sipped gratefully at her drink. " After all, that's what best friends are for. But let's eat first and then you can ask what ever you want to know" "Eat? But I'm really not..."Buffy started to refuse again but was quickly interrupted. "Sorry, I've already ordered for you. I wasn't sure if your tastes were still the same so i just took a chance" Darla explained as their food arrived. With a frown Buffy looked up and on seeing the overflowing plates of food being brought to their table, she felt her stomach strongly protest. "I'm sorry Darla but I'm really not hungry." Buffy bit back the wave of nausea she felt bubble in her throat and raised her hand to stop

the waitress lowering the plate of pasta and salad in front of her. Confused by Buffy's unusual reaction, the young waitress hesitated for a moment unsure of what to do next. She hadn't been working at the restaurant very long and this was the first time a meal had been sent back before the customer had even seen it. "Would you like something else?" She asked as she hovered with the food but Buffy firmly shook her head. "Just a glass of water, please" Seeing the waitress start to turn away, Darla motioned for her to lower the plate anyway. "Just leave it" She snapped and then realising her perfect image had slipped, she tilted her head towards the young girl and smiled sweetly "Thank you, dear" As the food was once again placed in front of her, Buffy felt her stomach turn over for the fourth time in as many minutes. She found herself wishing with all her heart that she could just get up from the table and run as far away from this overpowering woman as she possibly could. "Please, I really..." She raised her hand again but her refusal was quickly brushed aside. "It doesn't matter if you're not hungry, Buffy, you look anorexic." Lowering her glass, Darla raised her hand and pointed her finger across the table. " Look! I really didn't want to have to say this but you look dreadful, honey. I can see the bones in your throat sticking right through your skin." Much to Buffy's embarrassment, Darla's voice seemed to carry across the whole restaurant. For a few seconds the noise level dropped considerably and heads at nearly every table turned in their direction. Buffy felt as if a dozen pairs of eyes were suddenly scrutinising her less than perfect appearance. Unconsciously, she raised her hand to her throat and although she hated to admit that the damn woman was right, the small bones in question were easily felt beneath her fingertips. Before she had a chance to defend herself, Darla's loud voice was booming across the table once again. "Whether you want the food or not, you need to eat. I promised Liam that I'd look after you and I never beak a promise" At that point Darla turned on her most concerned smile and almost sounded sincere.

With a tiny apologetic grin, the young waitress finally placed the plate of hot pasta back in front of the anorexic looking woman and silently slipped away. With a sigh of defeat Buffy stared down at the food on her plate and while she really couldn't face eating anything, she didn't want to argue either. Lifting up a fork she proceeded to move a small amount of the food around her plate and hoped that Darla was too busy with her own meal to realise what she was doing. "Liam told me we've known each other for a long time" The first question came easily. Now they were sitting only a few feet apart Buffy knew Darla could no longer avoid giving her the answers she so desperately needed to know. Darla laughed as she split open a bread roll and lifted the butter knife. "You could say that... We were five and you stole my boyfriend" Buffy lifted a skeptical brow. "I thought you broke my Barbie doll and I beat the crap out of you in the school yard" The spontaneous reply brought an unexpected glow of warmth and Buffy couldn't resist a tiny smile. Just knocking that smug look from the other woman's face felt surprisingly good. "You remembered that?" Darla raised her eyes suspiciously and studied Buffy's face for fresh signs of deceit. Leaning forward she demanded an answer of her own. " You're not faking this, are you?" Her blue eyes flashed a quizzical look. Suddenly fresh hope sprung up that Buffy was playing a scam after all, but when Darla looked deeply into the hazel orbs directly opposite her she knew with a pang of disappointment that they only shone back with the truth. Buffy took serious offence at the accusation. "No, I'm not faking it, and I'm not playing games. Dammit, Why does every one keep asking me that." She snapped. Buffy was sick to death of that question. First Liam had been suspicious and then William and now Darla. The question was not only an insult it was extremely cruel. "Why the hell would anybody want to fake amnesia? " Buffy demanded angrily. Her eyes flashed and she only cooled her temper when she realised that her voice had risen and the

occupants of both surrounding tables had stopped eating again and were now looking across with renewed curiosity. Leaning back in her seat, Darla dropped the suspicion she was showing and replaced her expression with laughter. "Honey, calm down, I believe you. You're right. Why would anybody want to fake amnesia?" In the blink of an eye Darla's* I really am your best friend* voice was firmly back in place. The last thing she wanted was for Buffy not to trust her. Everything she had planned rested with the foolish girl believing and trusting her completely. Just as she had done the last time their paths had crossed. On that small thought Darla knew the amnesia story had to be on the level. There was no way Buffy could have faked not remembering that little encounter. That time everything had ran so smoothly that Darla could hardly believe her luck. It had played out just as she had planned. By the end of the evening she had tricked Buffy into believing her marriage was over and the stupid girl had fled into the night never to been seen again. It was perfect. Or it would have been if she had just stayed lost. **Bloody accident** Darla silently cursed the event that had brought Buffy home. Although she was now ninety-nine percent convinced that the amnesia was true, Darla still needed to delve a little deeper. " So, how much do you remember?" Buffy sighed, letting out a long, deep breath. "When I first woke up after the accident, my mind was almost a blank. I could remember a few ordinary, everyday things but almost nothing about my personal life." The frustration she felt returned to her voice as Buffy recalled the first few hours after waking in hospital. It had been such a difficult time. When asked she had recited the name of the president with ease but for the life of her she hadn't been able to remember her own name. "Liam said you hit your head?" Still needing her own answers, Darla continued to prod. Buffy chewed down on her lower lip and considered the question. "That's what the doctor told me. I guess it must be true because I've still got the lump to prove it." She raised her hand slightly and let her fingertips slide across the slight swelling that was still on the side of her head. After a week it was much smaller now but there was still enough of a bump left to prove the accident hadn't been a complete figment

of her imagination. As her fingertips touched a nerve, Buffy winced slightly in pain and for the first time since coming face to face, Darla felt a small jolt of pity. "The crash must have been pretty horrific" She didn't really need to ask; Darla already knew the answer. The New York coach crash had been so dreadful that footage of the accident was even covered on the Sunnydale evening news. The irony was, Darla remembered watching the pictures on her TV screen without even knowing that the girl she had tried to destroy a few months earlier was now amongst the victims. Not that it really mattered. If Buffy Angelus had died that day all of Darla's problems would have died along with her. Buffy's death meant only one thing. Liam would be free. Free for her. If Buffy could have read her thoughts she would have been horrified to learn just how much this woman, who pretended to be her friend, really hated her. Sadly mind reading wasn't one of her talents and in her state of ignorance, Buffy let her guard down and the two women started chatting like they really could have once been friends. Without noticing it, Buffy's anger slipped away. "At first I was terrified that I'd never recover any of my past, but the last few days have brought back a few memories. Feelings more than anything else but there was also a few family faces." Buffy smile sadly as she remembered her mother and Dawnie's happy faces grinning across the breakfast table each morning. When she started talking again her voice was much softer, almost distant. "The hardest thing is not knowing who I am, or who I was. It feels like I have this huge shadow hanging over me and it's suffocating me with frustration." Buffy opened her heart and revealed the true extent of her pain. That was just how she felt. There were so many blank pages of her lost life she needed to fill in before she could even hope to reclaim her past. Until that past was returned, the shadow of not knowing would remain, and haunt her every waking moment. As she continued to push the food around her plate with the back of her fork, Darla reached out across the table and unexpectedly gripped her hand. "That must be so creepy" she sympathised with all the skill of an award winning actress. At the act of concern Buffy started to forget her earlier fears that this woman could not be trusted and felt her body relax. She was so in need of somebody to talk to that common

sense was pushed to one side. "It is, it's like I'm living in limbo. All my dreams for the future have disappeared into a deep black hole " Darla didn't have time to smirk, because Buffy's next words sent a bolt of cold fear straight to her heart. "But luckily Liam's been wonderful" As Buffy proceeded to explain everything that had happened since returning to Sunnydale, Darla fought with all her might to keep her seething face expressionless. Outside her body language portrayed the very vision of concern but inside, Darla was frantic to destroy the newfound feelings Buffy was confessing she had discovered. "But what about poor William, I bet he didn't take being forgotten too well." "William?" Buffy choked slightly as the pasta she had attempted to swallow got stuck in her throat. "Why would William be upset?" She asked, nervously hoping the question sounded innocent. Inside her chest, her heart was beating so fast Buffy swore the word *guilty* shone brightly in her terrified eyes. Raising her glass of wine once again to her lips, Darla stopped and repeated Buffy's question. "Why?" She laughed. "Because the guy's madly in love with you. He has been for nearly two years" Buffy felt sick. She had hoped with all her heart that William had been lying, but suddenly with Darla mentioning his name, the forgotten affair started to feel terrifyingly real again. For reasons she wasn't quite sure of Buffy wasn't about to admit anything. "Who told you that?" Darla rolled her eyes. "Duh! Buffy, William Pennington's my brother. He tells me *everything*" When she look up, her cool blue eyes were now positively twinkling with mischief.

"Penn. P.Pennington?" Buffy stuttered as the name fell into place. " Half brother actually. Same father. William lived in England until two years ago, which is why he speaks with that silly accent. But he's my darling brother all right. He changed his name slightly because he thinks in his line of work it sounds more romantic." Darla laughed and her smile grew as she noticed how uncomfortable Buffy appeared. "Brother" Buffy couldn't think straight as she ran her eyes over the small blonde woman facing her and took in the family resemblance. It suddenly hit her like a bolt out of the blue. The hair colour was slightly different but there was definitely something around the eyes. Buffy went cold. The affair was no longer a dirty secret. She knew, William knew and now Darla. Although the facts were staring her plainly in the face Buffy still wasn't about to confess. Especially to an affair she couldn't remember. "What did he tell you about us?" Darla laughed again. "Please, do you really want me to go into all the sordid details while we're eating" "Tell me" Buffy repeated as calmly as possible. She didn't care if Darla was eating, she needed to know the truth and she needed to know it now. Darla placed her fork down on the table with a loud sigh. "He told me that you were lovers, that you had been for awhile" She kept her face expressionless and prayed Buffy couldn't hear the rapid beating of her excited heart. She needn't have worried; Buffy was too troubled to hear anything. The tiny speck of hope she had held in her heart that the affair was all in William's mind was being completely blown apart. "But did *I* ever tell you we were having an affair?" Buffy pleaded, still clinging to the belief that Will had been lying about their relationship. He might have boasted to his sister that they were lovers but unless she had told Darla herself, Buffy still refused to believe it.

"Not directly, but the two of you were hardly discreet" "What are you saying?" Darla rolled her eyes. She could see that Buffy was already falling for William's lies and it warmed her heart. She wanted to come right out and tell her every word her brother had told her was true but that was too easy. Darla wanted Buffy to suffer with the knowledge that she had cheated on her husband. She knew Buffy would never be able to hide that kind of secret and the pressure to tell Liam would rip them apart. **But let her suffer for a while before that happens. Let her beat herself up with the fear of the affair becoming public** "What are you saying?" Buffy repeated her question. "I'm saying that William was at your gallery nearly every afternoon Buffy. I'm sure if you ask the staff they will confirm this?" "But that doesn't mean.." Buffy started to protest but Darla cut her off with a wave of her hand. "Oh sure. Do you expect me to believe you were only having tea and crackers when you locked yourselves in that little office for all hours" she smirked with satisfaction At Buffy's pained look Darla knew she had hit the mark. Buffy was well and truly suckered. **I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count ** Buffy looked down at the food on her plate. She didn't have any appetite to start with but now the smell of the food was making her sick again. Despite the warm day she felt cold. Forcing herself to look up Buffy asked the question that had burned in her mind from the second William had first dropped his bombshell. "Do you think Liam knew?" Buffy shuddered at the idea. **Was that where the underlying anger she sensed in him came from** "Liam?... To be honest Buffy, if he knew about you two he never said anything to me. Of course he might have covered it up after you left him. After all, Liam is a proud man" **You left him once and now you're right back where you started** "So I did leave him?" Buffy asked quietly, although William's earlier words had already confirmed that suspicion. Her companion frowned for a second before carefully hiding the expression.

"He never told you?" Buffy shook her head. Darla chewed her lip; she hadn't been counting on that. She had expected Liam to throw that little detail right in her face. "I really walked out on him?" Buffy found that piece of information the hardest to deal with. She hope against hope that the statement was wrong but when Darla finally nodded her head, the last fragment that a mistake had been made was lost. Darla waited for a moment, giving Buffy just enough time to get used to the lie. From the ghostly colour of her face she knew it wouldn't be too long before Buffy's shattered life imploded "What now? Will you leave him again?" Buffy shrugged her small shoulders and her face crumbled into a mask of confusion. The only thoughts that danced in the dark corners of her mind were **Did she want to lose Liam again so soon after rediscovering him ** and **Would her life be better without him?** Both questions brought more pain than she wanted to admit. At the hesitation Darla started to get nervous. "Buffy?" She spoke just loud enough to break through the lost woman's reverie. Buffy looked up and her eyes flickered. "I don't know, I wish I did" She finally replied and even as the words left her mouth she started to feel her heart ache. **Maybe she would be better off running away from all this madness and starting a new life. What did the past really matter, she could reinvent herself and start all over again. No ties, no problems.. No strong arms to hold you in the dark. No sweet lips to kiss away your tears.. No Liam.** Without even trying, the questions answered themselves. Buffy didn't want a new life and she didn't want a forgotten lover. She wanted the man that made her heart race with just a single glance. She wanted the man she had fallen in lust with at first sight.. Twice, if she was being honest. From the moment she had opened her eyes in that hospital room, Liam Angelus was all she had been able to see. Darla felt real panic now as she watched the play of emotions cover Buffy's face. She knew precisely what her rival was thinking, she was losing her battle to send the girl

running and it scared her to death. "Buffy, my brother loves you and inside your mind, underneath all that confusion, you feel the same way about him." She argued, vainly trying to recover some lost ground. "But that's the trouble, I don't. I'm sorry but don't feel anything for your brother at all. I might have forgotten nearly all my life but my feelings are returning faster than my memories and one thing I'm very sure about, when William kissed me I felt nothing." "And Liam..?" Darla struggled to keep the bitterness she felt from her voice but inside her veins, her blood was beginning to freeze. The smile that flickered at the corner of Buffy's lips was all the conformation she needed to fear the worse. "When Liam's around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. I don't remember him yet but I already know I still love him." With the words came the relief. **She loved him. There were no longer any doubts in her mind. She loved Liam. She wanted only Liam** "But you left him. You couldn't have loved him if you ran away" Darla started to lose control as all her well thought out plans started to crumble around her. Buffy wasn't supposed to fall in love with Liam, she was supposed to run off with William leaving her to pick up the pieces of his broken heart all over again. Of all the scenarios that had played out in her head, this was the last one she had considered. After successfully destroying their marriage the last time, Darla had almost convinced the heartbroken man that Buffy was the worse mistake of his life. But just as Liam was beginning to respond to her, the accident had sent him running back to New York and weeks of turning him against Buffy had collapsed. The smile that was growing on Buffy's face was starting to make her feel ill. Snatching up the wine bottle, Darla refilled her glass and swallowed the contents as if she was drinking water on a hot day. In her ignorance, Buffy was still too caught up in her own new plans to notice the change in her companion. As Darla finished her drink, the wine rushed straight to her head but it did little to help her mood. For her, the conversation was about to go from bad to worse. "I was thinking, If Liam came all the way to New York to bring me home, then maybe he still loves me too. Darla, I want to make it up to him, whatever pain I caused him I want to make it right. If there's anyway to save my marriage I'm determined to find it." As she

finished the rush of words Buffy sighed with relief. She now knew exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to make a life with Liam and she wanted to tell him how she felt as soon as possible. Not sure of how to proceed Darla played the last card she could think of. "And you really think that William is going to let you?" She asked sympathetically but inside she was seething with rage. **William really did love the little bitch so it wouldn't be too hard convincing him to make as much trouble for Buffy and Liam as was possible** With that thought, Darla started to feel a tiny ray of hope. If Buffy wouldn't leave her husband then maybe she and William would help Liam leave Buffy. **Why would he want to stay with her when she was screwing another man?** The ray of hope started to grow. **As long as Buffy couldn't remember the truth she couldn't deny the affair.** Darla realised. Suddenly the amnesia she so wanted to be a lie was becoming her best ally. Liam was far too proud to stand by a cheating wife. **The ink on the divorce paper was almost dry and Buffy would never see it coming** With the new plan taking shape Darla felt better but she wasn't home and dry yet. "William seemed like a fair person. I hope he understands" Buffy spoke wishfully, hoping she had read William Pennington's character as well as she thought. Darla looked across the table and reached out her hands to clasp Buffy's fingers. " Don't worry about Will, Buffy. I'll talk to him and explain everything. I'm sure I can make him see things from our perspective" The happy woman was purring again as her confidence returned. "Thanks, Darla. What would I do without you" Buffy replied and for the first time she felt as if a large weight had been removed from her small shoulders. **If William really cared about her surely he would want her to be happy? ** Buffy suddenly felt very tired. It had been a long day and all she wanted to do was head for her home and try and put the mess that had over taken her life into some sort of order. She and Liam needed to have a long talk and maybe then they could decide where their future lay. When their bill was settled, the two blonde women walked to the door of the restaurant.

Before leaving Darla turned and smiled as she hugged Buffy close. "Try not to worry, Buffy. Everything will work itself out for the best. Believe me" She whispered her reassurances with almost believable sincerity. With the nod of her head, Buffy smiled her thanks again and pulled way. "When you see William, please tell him that I'm sorry, but whatever we had is over. It has to be" Buffy turned and before Darla had a chance to reply she climbed into the back of a waiting cab and was gone. As the taillights disappeared around the corner taking Buffy back to her husband, Darla started to laugh. **When you see William, please tell him that I'm sorry, but whatever we had is over. It has to be** **Yeah, right** Standing in the doorway of the restaurant, the real hatred Darla was feeling broke free and flashed dangerously across her face. " If you think for one second that I'm going to stand back and let you and *my* Liam live happily ever after, you couldn't be more wrong. I'm going to rip you two so far apart that you'll never become a problem again. That *my dear girl* is a real promise." **And I never break a promise**

To her surprise, the house was dark and empty when Buffy returned from her depressing encounter with Darla. Walking up to the front door with her arms filled with parcels, the peaceful stillness that greeted the exhausted girl caused a shudder of disappointment to slide the full length of her tired body. After spending almost every second of the last two weeks in Liam's company, his unexpected absence felt strangely unsettling. **Admit it, Summers. When he's not around you really miss him.** The explanation made a lot of sense, but it didn't quite hit the mark. After the events of the last twenty-four hours, Buffy knew the feelings she had for Liam went a lot deeper than just missing him. She might not remember falling in love with the man the first time around, but this time; it was an entirely different story. **When Liam's around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. I don't remember him

yet but I already know I still love him** A warm smile started to spread across her face but before she had the chance to enjoy it, a new voice entered Buffy's head and the smile that had started so readily died on her lips. **It's Will, Buffy. William Pennington...** ** When he breaks your heart again...I'll still be here and Buffy, I'll still love you** Reaching in her purse, Buffy sighed as she struggled to find her keys. After spending days looking for answers she realised, for the first time since the accident, that maybe something's in life really were better left forgotten. If not handled carefully, the new knowledge she now possessed could possibly destroy any chance she might have of ever being happy with Liam again. **You left him once and now you're right back where you started** As she closed the door behind her with a deep sigh of regret, Buffy still couldn't remember being the person who had lived in this house just four months earlier. ** Buffy Angelus.** **A liar? ** **A cheat?** With a shudder Buffy shook the unpleasant words from her head. From the feelings she was receiving from her heart, both thoughts seemed impossible to accept. **Was she really the sort of woman who could run out on a husband who had obviously loved her and yet leave no explanation for her actions? ** **The sort of woman who took a lover after less than two years of marriage?** The reply to her questions brought a small amount of comfort. **You might have run out on a husband but you didn't run away with a lover** Ever since William had dropped his little bombshell, no matter how hard she tried, one thought wouldn't leave her alone. **If William loved her as much as he said he did, why hadn't he been with her in New York? Why was she travelling on that bus all on her own, three months after leaving Sunnydale?**

**Maybe because it's all Bullshit** Deep in her heart Buffy knew that there was something very wrong with the picture in front of her, but, try as she might, she couldn't put her finger on what part of the equation was troubling her the most. **William's a liar? ** She shook her head. It couldn't be William because Darla had backed up his story. **Darla's a liar as well? ** Again Buffy shook the thought from her mind. **Why would they both lie to her? What could they possibly gain that would make their deception worth all their trouble? ** In her right mind, the shattered young woman might have had some chance of seeing through the masquerade that was being cleverly played out in front of her. But with her past temporarily wiped out and her future uncertain, Buffy had no idea which direction the deceit was coming from. Liam obviously trusted Darla and Darla, in turn, trusted her brother. For the time being Buffy knew she had no choice but to trust all three of them... .. However, no matter what anyone told her, she still smelt a rat. *** Walking through the empty rooms of her childhood home, Buffy felt the loneliness close in all around her. It was strange how the house only felt like a home when Liam was around. Without his presence, the empty rooms just felt like any other bricks and mortar. **If Liam finds out about William he'll be the one leaving this time** Buffy stood at the kitchen sink and filled the kettle. She didn't really want a drink but she needed to do something, anything to take her mind off the events of the day. Those thoughts refused to stay silent. **Maybe she could tell Liam the truth?** **And lose him**

**Or she could hope that William left her in peace.** **But then there was always the chance that if Liam found out later she would still lose him** "Let's face it. I'm dammed if I tell him and I'm dammed if I don't" With a heavy heart Buffy climbed the stairs to her bedroom. ***** After the day she had just gone through, Buffy was so exhausted all she wanted to do was stand under a blistering hot shower for a few hours and then crawl into bed. Walking into her bedroom, she dropped all of her shopping bags on the left side of her bed and, with a sigh of relief, kicked off her shoes and sat down. The softness, which Buffy sank into, felt so comfortable and welcoming that every weary bone in her body pleaded for her to just swing her legs over the side of the bed and disappear into the warmth of the covers. As the long day and all its complications finally caught up with her, Buffy felt as if she could easily sleep for a week. **But you need to talk to Liam and you need to do it tonight** With a deep sigh of regret Buffy reluctantly struggled back up on her feet, she knew a scented bubble bath was out of the question, far too relaxing, but a shower would be all right. A long hot shower was possibly the only thing likely to chase away the slumber that had serious designs on her body. Dropping the clothes she had worn that day in a tidy pile on her bed, Buffy walked naked to the bathroom and setting the water for blisteringly hot she stepped in to the shower and closed the door behind her. Within seconds she was standing under a hot spray of steamy water, her taut muscles slowly starting to relax as the stinging needles hit every inch of her aching body. When a tidal wave of exhaustion crept up and rolled over her, Buffy leant forward and rested her two small hands flat against the shower wall for support. As the steam started to fill the shower, Buffy closed her eyes and in trying to clear her head of all thoughts, she let the full force of the spray pound against her flesh washing away all the pain of the last twelve hours. The liquid therapy cascaded down over her bowed head and worked its magic on her shoulders, spine and buttocks before pooling at her feet and finally draining away. For a few blissful seconds, Buffy felt as if she was flying high above the clouds without a

care in the world. But bliss never lasts for long. When the water temperature changed, and cooled, reality returned and sent her crashing back to earth with a shiver. Mourning the warmth leaving her skin, Buffy quickly shampooed her hair in the last of the tepid waters and stepped out of the shower before being blasted with an icy spray. Feeling relaxed for the first time that day, she dried herself with a large, fluffy towel and returned to her bedroom feeling a lot brighter. Dressed in just her bra and panties Buffy sat in front of her bedroom mirror and combed the tangles from her blonde hair. Whether it was the effects of the relaxing shower she wasn't sure, but the woman staring back at her looked a lot better than she had a few days earlier. She still looked very tired and far too thin for her liking but Buffy noticed, thankfully, that only a ghostly outline of her bruising remained and the thin pink line where her face had been stitched back together was quickly fading from sight. A light touch of makeup was all it took to hide the last remaining evidence that she had ever been in an accident at all. "Now, if only I could remove the scars on my mind that easily" Buffy sighed wishfully as she brushed just a hint of colour to her cheeks. The sudden sound of movement downstairs caused her to turn her head and, when her name was called, Buffy jumped to her feet with a wide grin across her face. **Liam** In her excitement, Buffy was almost out of the bedroom door before she realised to her horror that she was still in her underwear. ***** Angel was pouring himself a drink when his wife entered the room. He wouldn't have admitted it, but he had just spent the whole afternoon missing her, wondering how her shopping trip with Darla had gone. Seeing his friend could hardly concentrate for more than a few seconds at a time, Lindsey had offered to stand in for him at their afternoon meeting, but when Darla left a message saying they were still catching up, Angel had disappointedly carried on with his work. Arriving home, he had been more than a little surprised to discover Buffy was already home. On hearing the water running in the shower above, it took all of Angel's restraint not to pull open the bathroom door and join her. He and Buffy had made love in that shower more times than he could count and the thought that they would never do it again brought a sharp sting of regret to his heart.

So lost in his memories of wet bodies and loud moaning, Angel almost missed when the object of his daydream started to speak. "So. What do you think?" Buffy asked shyly and moved her hands over the soft material of her new dress. Putting down his now empty glass, Angel looked over and smiled. "Breath-taking" He replied, fighting to keep his tone level but it was a waste of effort. The sight before him made it impossible to speak calmly. At the compliment Buffy smiled. "Thank you. I wasn't sure about the colour at first" She replied quietly, as she continued to erase a non-existent crease from the dress. Angel watched her for a moment, noting the tension that seemed to radiate from her body. "I wasn't talking about the dress" He lifted his dark hungry eyes and the heated gaze that devoured her body caused Buffy to blush almost to the roots of her hair. "R. Really? " She stuttered nervously and felt a rush of blood surge to her head. "Yes. Really" Angel chuckled softly and without taking his eyes from her face he moved a silent step forward. Buffy sighed, wanting desperately to believe in his words, but knowing they couldn't be true. Admittedly she looked better than she had a few days earlier, but she was a shell of the woman she used to be. "You're sweet. A terrible liar, but sweet" Her voice started with a small smile but Darla's cruel words were never more than a breath away. **Look! I really didn't want to have to say this but you look dreadful, honey. I can see the bones in your throat sticking right through your skin. ** At the painful memory, Buffy's confidence started to tumble. " I know I'm only a shadow of the girl you married, I've seen the wedding video, remember" The smile that kissed the corners of her mouth was already fading. At the pain he heard in her voice, Angel shook his head. "You're wrong, Buffy. You're exactly the girl I married" He replied truthfully.

" But I look..." **You look dreadful** Darla's voice continued its torment. Buffy swallowed the lump of self-pity that had risen in her throat and her fingers ran lightly across her collarbone. But, before she had a chance to blink Angel was in front of her, covering her small hand with his and lowering it away from her throat. "That's not important... Not to me, Buffy... Look " Without another word he picked up her trembling hand and brought it to rest lightly over his chest. Buffy hesitated for a moment, unsure of his meaning, but just as she was about to ask him to explain, she felt the rapid beat of Liam's heart pounding beneath her fingertips. Raising her head, their eyes met in understanding. "You do that to me every time you walk into a room." He licked his lips nervously, before continuing. " You have from the very first moment you marched into my office at Wolfram and Hart and threatened to kick my ass if I even tried to take Dawn away from you." Angel smiled softly into her eyes as he related the memory of their first meeting. She had been so angry that day, full of fire and spirit and when Angel had finally caught his breath after her attack, he knew in a heartbeat that she was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. "You constantly take my breath away, Buffy" He admitted truthfully and knew he was leaving himself wide open. Buffy looked doubtful for a moment, as if the words were so unbelievable they couldn't possibly be real. Women like Darla took men's breath away, not skinny little things like her. But from the look on his face, her husband was strongly disagreeing with her. "You're the only woman who has ever done that to me" Angel's hands slipped over her shoulders, his heart aching as he saw the need for reassurance in her troubled eyes. "I really do that?" Buffy asked in amazement. She took a deep breath, which made her breasts swell up against the soft material of her new dress. Angel nodded his head and almost groaned out loud.

Deciding that actions would be better than words, he slowly drew her closer until their bodies were locked together, her small breasts pushing against the hard wall of his chest, and her hips pressing against him so tightly that there was no mistaking how much he wanted her. Buffy gasped, but made no attempt to move, as her breath caught deep in her throat. It seemed to her that the breathlessness now worked both ways. As he watched her come to terms with the revelation, Angel knew at that moment that they were both incredibly vulnerable, but he didn't care. He wanted her so much; he ached in places he had almost forgotten existed these last four months. When he looked up, the unexpected passion in Buffy's shining hazel eyes sent a shiver right down his spine. Their bodies were pressing so closely together that Angel could feel the heat radiating from her skin. "I missed you so much" His voice was husky and raw, ringing with a conviction that tore at her soul. Tilting his head slightly, Angel's dark gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes and he waited for her response. He didn't need to wait long. Touching the side of his face tenderly, she smiled and looked into his chocolate eyes, now dark with passion. When Buffy finally spoke, the word came not from her lost memory, but straight from her heart "Angel" The name was less than a sigh, it was almost a silent caress that brushed softly over his skin and soaked deep into his lonely soul. Angel wasn't sure who moved first, but suddenly their lips were touching, melting together so urgently that the spark they created almost set his blood on fire. With a gasp, Buffy reached up and slipped her arms tightly around his neck. **How on earth could I have forgotten this** Every particle of her being cried out as her body ached for his touch. Closing his own eyes and deepening their kiss, Angel moaned as his tongue slipped into her warm mouth and a million memories of kissing Buffy swam painfully around his head. **Kissing her, holding her, making love to her...**

Every memory they had ever shared. Only they didn't share them any more. The memories were now only his. **She's kissing you but she still doesn't really know you** "I can't do this" Panting for breath, Angel reluctantly broke the kiss and gently pushed away. As he stood back his heartbeat thundered so loud in his ears that he thought it was in serious danger of exploding Immediately missing the intimacy of his body pressing against hers, Buffy looked up with confusion. "Liam?" When Angel stepped back even further her large troubled eyes filled with pain and rejection. "Did I do something wrong?" Buffy whispered again as a small frown marred her beautiful face. Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to cut out the pain he saw Angel shook his head. "No" His voice was barely a whisper. " I shouldn't be taking advantage of you, not while you still can't remember" "You don't want me?" Buffy hated the tremor that appeared in her voice as she spoke, but no matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn't prevent it. **She had been ready to give herself to Liam, heart, body and soul but he had simply rejected her** "Not want you?" Angel laughed, but the sound that fell from his lips held no amusement. The cool chuckle rattled through the room with deep felt bitterness. "Buffy I want you so much I'm physically in pain." Angel replied, running his hand through his hair with sheer frustration. He watched as Buffy struggled to accept his words and knew that she was finding the situation even harder to understand then he was. Taking a deep breath, he continued in a much softer tone. " Buffy, me wanting you was never the problem.... I always wanted you" "But I don't understand?" Angel sighed and held out his hand.

"Then maybe it's time I told you the truth." Slowly, he led her towards his study and on reaching his desk, Angel pulled open the top drawer. Buffy felt her heart lurch in sudden panic. The look on Liam's face was the same unreadable mask he had worn at the hospital. For a second she swore she caught a fleeting look of anger but, as quickly as it had appeared, it was hidden Standing in silence she watched and waited as the contents of a long envelope were then poured onto the table. Two rings and a folded sheet of paper. The two small golden rings danced as they hit the hard wooden desktop, each reverberating in a spiralling circle before coming to rest in the silent room. Gripping the now empty envelope tightly in his hand, Angel stood quietly by his desk. He knew this was a pivotal moment and his dark enigmatic eyes swept eagerly over his wife's face, searching for any sign of recognition that the two rings had triggered a memory. From the second he had taken Buffy's small hand and led her into the study, Angel knew that there was no turning back. This was the moment he had waited for, dreamed about for weeks and yet, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that Buffy knowing was for the best, a tiny voice deep inside his head protested that this was possibly the biggest mistake of his life. If the information Buffy was about to learn upset her and she ran away again, he would never forgive himself. **But how could they continue to live in the dark** Angel already knew the answer. **They couldn't** If he and Buffy were ever to have any kind of a future together, they had no choice but to confront the past. No matter how painful. As uncomfortable seconds slipped into eternity, Angel's heartbeat thundered in his ears and a thin sheen of sweat coated his palms. Taking a deep breath that did little to ease the tension knotting his insides, Angel nervously licked his lips.

The truth was so close now he could almost taste it. Confronted with the sight before her, Buffy found she could no longer breath. When a surge of fear and anticipation swept over her shocked body and threatened to send her spinning towards a black, silent abyss, she reached out a trembling hand and gripped the edge of the desk to prevent herself from toppling in. Struggling to stay in the land of reality, her horrified eyes froze, mesmerised by the two tiny bands of gold that now lay glistening on the dark wooden desk. Next to the folded sheet of writing paper, the simple wedding band and a diamond solitaire engagement ring called out to her tormented mind to remember. For a moment, flickers of something resembling pain danced behind Buffy's eyelids as her memory taunted and teased her. Emotions she didn't understand rose to the surface of her consciousness only to submerge and leave her feeling confused and bereft. The rings called out to her, tiny whispers floated inside her head like a lost dream, but no matter how far Buffy reached, the memories slipped through her fingers like the early morning mist. Looking for something to cling to, Buffy thought back to the day she had woken up in the hospital. She had questioned her lack of rings then but at the time there had been so much confusion following the accident that nobody could confirm ever seeing them. Not wanting to make a fuss about a little bit of jewellery when so many of the other passengers had died, Buffy accepted the loss without question. Once she had returned home the subject hadn't rose again. Until now. Almost too afraid to hope, Angel's heart leap as Buffy moved her right thumb over the naked third finger on her left hand. As he stood watching the turmoil play across her features, he relived that last fateful day over and over in his own memory, The day when his once perfect world had cracked and splintered all around him. ~*~*~* Four months earlier~*~*~ 6. 45am Slinging out a long muscular arm, Angel cut off the annoying buzz of the alarm clock that had not only jolted him awake from his slumber, but had also ripped him from the most wonderfully erotic dream. Laying back against the soft fluffy pillows, a large satisfying grin crept across his handsome features as the last fragments of his night time fantasy lingered on the edge of his memory.

**He and Buffy would definitely have to put that little dream into practice sometime in the very near future** As his thoughts turned to the sleeping woman by his side, Angel turned his head and the smug expression was quickly replaced with a tender smile. Softly reaching over, he swept a stray lock of silky blonde hair away from Buffy's cheek and thrilled at the smoothness beneath his fingertips. Even after almost two years of marriage, Angel still marvelled at how fortunate his life had become. Meeting Buffy Summers and making her his wife was his greatest blessing. Although he had an early breakfast meeting planned with Lindsey, before a full day in court, some things in life really were more important. For a few blissful minutes, Angel was content just to watch his wife sleep. Stirring slightly, Buffy looked so utterly adorable that he felt his heart constrict as he was swamped by a whole range of emotions. Love, loyalty, passion and pride. She touched him in ways he couldn't even begin to explain. From the first moment the petite blonde girl had breezed into his life, she had changed it forever. And that was the blessing Angel thanked God for every morning he woke up. As the digital seconds on the bedside clock, flashed by far too quickly, and unable to put off their inevitable parting any longer, Angel leant forward and brushed his lips softly across Buffy's rosebud mouth. Still happily in the land of dreams, Buffy sighed softly in recognition of her mate and parted her lips, inviting his tongue deeper into her mouth. For Buffy, this really was the greatest way to wake up. Smiling at her response, Angel dropped a feather light kiss on the tip of her nose. "Wake up sleepy head, its time to get up" Keeping her eyes firmly closed, Buffy snuggled in to his side and pretended not to have heard the wakeup call. She adored the warmth of his hard body pressing against her skin and always made waking up last as long as possible. "I know you're awake" Angel's soft voice teased. It was the same game every morning. Both were putting off the separation for as long as they could. Buffy snuggled closer. "Just a few more minutes" Her warm breath brushed against his shoulder.

With a groan of disappointment, Angel started to sit up. "As much as I'd love to spend the whole day in bed with you, It's almost 7am " When Buffy felt his warm body moving away from her, she finally opened her sleepy hazel eyes. "You could always ring in sick" She smiled seductively. Angel quirked an eyebrow "Then we could stay in bed all day" Buffy was teasing him and her eyes sparkled, because she knew for a split second that he was actually considering the idea. **Maybe they could try that dream?... No.. ** Angel silently groaned again. As work commitments returned to his mind, he knew as tempting as a day in bed with Buffy sounded, this time he would have to regretfully pass up the offer. "I'm sure you have a hundred things to do today. You haven't forget that Cordy is flying in this weekend?" Buffy rolled her eyes. "How could I possibly forget a visit from your dear sister" She sighed but her voice was full of mischief. Buffy didn't really resent Angel's sister paying a visit; she just hated having to share him with anybody. With Dawnie away at school now, their weekends together had become a time they both cherished. They would lock the door to the outside world and just focus on making each other as perfectly happy as was humanly possible. "She's only in town for a few days" Angel smiled; he then slipped his hand beneath the sheets and ran his fingertips across the naked flesh of his wife's tight stomach. "I guess we could pretend to be out when she calls" Buffy grinned this time and Angel started to chuckle. "You are so evil " His fingers continued to caress her skin with feather-light circles. Buffy gave a little moan as her blood started to flow faster along her veins. She loved it when he flirted with her.

"I know, but that's why you love me" Buffy flirted right back. "Oh, really. And there I was thinking I loved you because you were smart and sexy and funny and beautiful and ..." Angel's fingertips moved slowly up her ribcage, brushing against the skin in away he knew would drive her crazy. When he purposely missed touching her breasts, Buffy gasped. "Okay. Stop crawling. Your sister can stay " With a chuckle, Angel levered up on one elbow, leaning forward; he used a slow, deliberately sensual smile that he knew always melted Buffy's heart "Well.. " His soft velvety voice started with a purr that sent shivers through his wife's blood. She knew immediately that he wasn't playing fair. " Because Cordelia's going to be here all weekend, how about I spoil you tonight instead. A romantic dinner for two, followed by a night at the bronze. What do you think?" Bringing his hand from beneath the sheets, he reached up and softly stroked her cheek Buffy lifted her eyelashes and her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Throw in a night of red hot sex and you have a deal" "You're insatiable " "What can I say, I love your body." Buffy snaked out a slender arm and running it over the firm abs of Angel's muscular chest, she felt her lover shiver in anticipation. " Especially when it's inside of mine" The smoky passion reflected in her eyes was too much for her husband's restraint. Angel groaned and rolled her over on to her back. "God, you're going to make me *so* late this morning" As their lips met in a deep searing kiss all thoughts of court cases, sisters and the outside world were temporally forgotten. For the young lovers, their time together was far too short and making love far too much fun. "You're so beautiful" Angel murmured softly as his large hands gently cupped his wife's warm breasts. Buffy giggled, but within one beat of her heart, a cool shiver of need flooded her body as Angel's expert thumbs teased her sensitive nipples. Sliding closer, he kissed her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, before moving to claim her warm willing lips

again. Letting out a low breathy moan, Buffy dug her fingers deep into Angel's shoulders as a tide of pleasure flooded her whole body. After ravishing her mouth with long cool strokes of his tongue, Angel broke away from Buffy's lips and moved swiftly to her breast. His tongue tickled and swirled around her sensitive nipple, causing Buffy to arch up and thread her fingers though his hair, pressing him closer. Sliding her hands down over his broad shoulders, she reached the tight muscles of his butt and set up a gentle kneading motion. As his body surged against her, she felt the strength of his desire and insistently twined her legs about his body. The small bedroom was then filled with gentle moans and soft sighs as the lovers satisfied their need for each other to the full. Thirty minutes later Angel laid back against his pillow and letting out a deep sigh of contentment, closed his eyes "I love you" Buffy softly kissed his shoulder. "I love you too" For a moment the two lovers lay silent, content just to hold each other as the world passed them by. When Angel finally turned his head towards the alarm clock, reality kicked back in, and he laughed. "I'm going to be so late" *** Later that night Closing the door of his car, Angel muttered a silent curse as his eyes caught sight of the time. He had promised Buffy a night out and he was already two hours late. **Bloody Darla Penn** Angel cursed again as he struggled with the most enormous bunch of yellow roses. The damn woman always called at the most inconvenient times. Instead of having a romantic meal with his wife, Angel had spent the last two hours calming a nearly hysterical client, who swore her ex-lover, was trying to break into her house. If it had been any other client, he would have handed the whole matter over to the police and let

them deal with it, But Darla Penn was an old school friend of Buffy's and she and her brother William, were both valued clients. The small Law practice he and Lindsey ran was just beginning to make a profit and, as much as Angel hated spending the best part of the evening with Darla, he knew they couldn't afford to lose her as a client. "Buffy! I'm home" Angel called out as he walked through the front door but much to his surprise and disappointment, there was no reply. After searching the kitchen and lounge, he walked into his study. That was where Buffy would have left a message if she needed to go out in a hurry. Angel noticed the envelope immediately but as he approached the desk, his concerned eyes focused on two small gold bands, shining in the fading evening light. Reaching out, he ripped open the envelope and five seconds later, Liam Angelus' whole world fell apart. ~*~*~* End of flash back *~*~*~ While Angel relived the last day of their marriage, Buffy's eyes were still mesmerised by the folded sheet of paper and two golden rings. As she took in the painful evidence, fear as cold as winter - wrapped its icy claws around her heart, and squeezed with all its might. The first time she tried to respond she couldn't, her voice was paralysed by the nightmares her brain was trying to deny. **She really had left him** It was no longer just a possibility, it was a fact. Everything William and Darla had told her was true. In the space of a heartbeat she had become the woman she despised. **A cheat and a liar** "So, it's really true. I did leave you" Buffy's hand reached out towards the contents of the envelope. Her small fingers trembling in both anticipation and fear. Angel stared down at her, his chocolate eyes almost changing to black. For a second Buffy saw a flicker of despair in his gaze, but it was quickly hidden. "You remember?" The air seemed to crackle between them. After what felt like a small lifetime, Buffy finally shook her head sadly as her fingers slipped over the first gold band, a beautiful solitaire engagement ring. Although she felt a flutter deep inside her head she failed to place ever wearing the ring, let alone removing it and leaving it behind.

As Angel watched the confusion build in his wife's eyes he shuddered as his own memories kicked in and his tormented mind flashed back to the night he proposed. Buffy had been so happy when he slipped the ring on her finger that she cried. **Yes! Yes! I love you, Angel. I want to spend the rest of my life with you..** As the words echoed around his mind, Angel felt as if somebody had pushed a stake through his heart. Within two years, his wife had thrown the ring back and walked out on their marriage without a word of explanation. Bringing his mind back to the present Angel repeated his question. "Buffy... Do you remember? " Buffy nervously moistened her lips. "No, I wish I could tell you that I did, but I just can't.. I don't " As the disappointing words slowly sank into Angel's head, the glimmer of hope in his chocolate eyes died. **It was too soon.** Angel silently cursed and knew matters would now go seriously downhill. Buffy's fingers moved away from the rings and lifting the folded sheet of paper, she opened it. She immediately recognised her handwriting. **It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy** As the contents finally sunk in, her bewildered eyes shot open in amazement. "What the..." Buffy swallowed. This was the last thing in the world she had expected to read. As she struggled to control her trembling fingers her mind surged with confusion. The letter almost burned with anger, each tiny word was written with such bitterness. It simply didn't make sense. From the gist of her words Buffy realised that she certainly hadn't left Liam because of William. The bitterness screaming from the letter was completely out of context. "I don't understand what this means. I thought.. I thought I was... " She stuttered slightly Without warning, Angel laughed and the sound sent a sliver of fear down her spine. " You don't understand? "He snorted, his voice tinged with months of suppressed anger There was no justification for Buffy's actions that night. All he had ever done was love

her. "You just left, Buffy.. You didn't give me a chance to understand" But William said.." "Pennington" Angel's dark eyes flashed dangerously and Buffy stepped back. Consumed by a wave of guilt, and afraid of what Liam might see in her eyes, she lowered her lashes. Angel was too incensed to notice "You've seen Pennington?" At the high level of anger in his voice, a peal of warning bells rang loudly inside Buffy's head. This was certainly not the time for a confession "William called in at the gallery when I was waiting for Darla" She took a deep breath before continuing with her explanation, but she never got the chance. "So he came back here after all?" Angel demanded. His voice was so cold it sent a chill through the whole room. Buffy blinked. "Back?.. I don't understand " **William hadn't been with her, he hadn't said anything about being away.** When she looked up at her husband again she hardly recognised the man in front of her. "Don't worry about it, Buffy.. This time I'll kill him" "Liam" Buffy gasped. She looked horrified. Shock had stolen every vestige of colour from her skin, making her eyes even more brilliant. "I promised that bastard if he ever went near you again it would be the sorriest day of his life" **So much for him not knowing ** Buffy started to realised her greatest fear but Liam's next words contradicted everything she had started to believe. "Did he hurt you?"

"Hurt me?" Buffy gasped in confusion. This conversation wasn't going anywhere near the direction she had expected. She could no longer read the emotions blazing from Liam's face. "No! He was just worried about me, that's all. He said we were close friends" Buffy hated lying, but from the hatred she felt emanating from her husband, she truly feared for William's safely if Liam knew the truth. " *Friends* That's a laugh." Angel spat the words in disgust. " Buffy, William Pennington is nothing but a stalker. He made your life hell for weeks and I promised him that the next time I saw him, I'd send him all the way back to the Mother country in a wooden box" Without another word Angel snatched up his jacket and marched from the room. As the front door slammed, Buffy stood motionless in the middle of the study. All around her, the walls of the small room started to close in. Everywhere she looked there were contradictions. So many lies. One minute she was led to believe she was the one having an affair and the next..... Blinking back a sudden rush of tears, Buffy picked up the sheet of writing paper once more and carefully re-read every word. As a single tear escaped and slipped down her cheek, she curled her fingers around the note and crushed it into a ball With the slamming of the front door still echoing loudly in her ears, Buffy stood trembling in the now deserted study. Standing alone with just her troubled thoughts for company, hot tears pressed behind her eyelids and her throat grew tight with frustration as the nightmare that had become her life since the accident, grew even darker. Once again, the fragile world that she had awoken to just a few weeks earlier had crumbled into total confusion, suffocating her with new deceptions. For a short period, Buffy had really tried to believe that the worst part of losing her memory was finally behind her, that her life couldn't possibly get any more surreal. What a mistake that had been. In a single second, a blink in time, her troubled world had once again been turned on its head. **You just left, Buffy. You didn't give me the chance to understand. You. Just. Left. ** As Buffy stood listening to the sound of her own heartbeat, Angel's sad words echoed through the room and reverberated right into her soul. **From the pain reflected in his dark, lonely eyes, Buffy was shocked to learn that her

husband really didn't have any idea why she had abandoned him three months earlier. Liam Angelus seemed as much in the dark about her reasons for leaving him as she was** As the frightened young woman struggled to come to terms with the new turn of events, Liam's small study seemed to close in all around her, mocking her with its familiarity. A familiarity that, try as she might, she still couldn't place ever being apart of. At that moment in time, all Buffy could feel was an awful emptiness, as if her brain was hollowed out and that this was as good as it ever gets. Once again, the fear that she would stay like this for the rest of her life returned and immediately all the colour drained from her face, leaving only a ghost of the beautiful young woman she had once been in its place. Apart from her dreams of burning alive, this was the nightmare that haunted Buffy's sleep night after night. The real terror that if her memory never returned, the rest of her life would be lived in limbo. Buffy trembled; just the realisation that part of her life could be forever shrouded in darkness, sent a cold shiver down the length of her spine. Desperately trying to shake the icy visions from her head, Buffy fought to pull herself together, but the small study surrounding her had other ideas. Slowly, from every corner of the room, subtle images of the happy life she and Liam had built together over the last two years silently called out to be remembered. Photographs and mementos from a lost past did their best to jerk a reaction from the frightened girl, but no matter how many smiling faces called out from their frames, each failed miserably to bring a response. **The nightmare was indeed coming true, she was going to stay lost in this darkness forever** Standing all alone in the now empty room, Buffy suddenly understood what it felt like to be abandoned. **What if this time it was Angel who didn't come back? What if William told him the same story he had told her?** With the idea of losing her husband, Buffy found a deep ache form in the centre of her chest. Liam had only been gone for a few minutes but already she was missing him. As her eyes once again drifted to the two golden rings lying abandoned on the wooden desktop, Buffy swore a light of recognition fought its way through the darkness. Deep inside her head the sound of trapped memories, lost in a distant corner of her mind rattled angrily against their prison walls, desperate to be free. While struggling to hold on to her sanity, tiny whispers from Buffy's past teased her tired

eyes with flashes of colour. Without any warning, feelings of anger and bitterness shot to the surface of her subconscious and her slight body shook with the force of their escape. **I'll never forgive you for this** With a gasp of disbelief, the blackness that had filled her mind since the accident momentarily lifted and Buffy actually tasted the hatred she had felt writing those very words. Gripping the edge of Liam's desk for support, she watched her shattered mind replay the events of a few months earlier. Buffy witnessed despair as she ripped the gold wedding band from her third finger, she felt both anger and betrayal flow though her veins like iced water, as she had turned on her heel and walked out of the front door for the very last time. With a flash of pain, her heart was flooded with a terrible sense of loneliness as she then watched herself sitting on a greyhound bus heading for a new life in New York. As the vision before her faded Buffy realised she had been very alone on that bus. She fought to hold onto the picture for as long as possible, but just as suddenly as it had started the memory was over. On reflection it had only been the briefest flicker into her past, but Buffy staggered as she realised the memory was real. It wasn't wishful thinking any longer; she really had started to remember. **For a split second It was all there in black and white, She really had left him, but...** Buffy shook her head trying to break through the fog that had returned to cover her mind. From the words she had written in her note, the reasons for her leaving were still not explained. All Buffy knew for sure was the pain she had felt in her heart that day had been unbearable. Dropping her eyes, Buffy looked down again at the crumpled note lying abandoned on the study floor. At last the first tiny piece of the puzzle had started to fall into place and with that realisation, a shudder of fear ripped right through her heart. **It wasn't love that had chased her away that day, it was pain.** Struggling to come to terms with this new information, one thought refused to leave Buffy's head ** Someone had to be lying to her** **Only three people had entered her life since returning to Sunnydale, and for whatever the reason, Buffy knew one of them had to be lying** Liam, William Pennington or Darla Penn One of those was an outright liar, but which one? And more importantly, why? Buffy closed her eyes as the question she couldn't even begin to answer pounded at her

exhausted brain. Her husband was the first person to slip into her mind. **No. We're not friends, Buffy... You're my wife...** Liam was the most complicated of the three to understand. One moment he was so cold and the next... **Buffy I want you so much I'm physically in pain.** Buffy had felt the emotion of their past radiating from his body like heat on a warm summer's day. At times, when he spoke, there was real passion in his dark eyes, both passion and tenderness. When Liam touched her skin, her mind might not remember him but her body did. His kisses were remembered, not in her memory but deep in her heart. Buffy sighed; she still couldn't remember falling in love with this man the first time he had entered her life, but she certainly knew the second time it had happened. Looking back, she realised with a shudder that it started the instant she had opened her eyes in that hospital room. Whatever fate had in store for her, it seemed Buffy was destined to love Liam Angelus whether she wanted to or not. But Liam wasn't the only man in this equation, there was also William Pennington and no matter how much she wished she could deny it, Buffy knew that the sweet looking guy, with the shock of bleached hair and mischievous blue eyes, seriously cared about her. The hurt look on his face when she failed to recognise him was genuine enough, Buffy was positive about that, if nothing else. The thing that scared Buffy most about William was, if she believed the story he had told her, not only was she an adulteress, it also proved that Liam Angelus was certainly no Angel. **Buffy, I think that knock to your head did more than just wipe out a few memory cells. What on earth's gotten into you? I've already told you that we're lovers, I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count and now suddenly you can't bear to even kiss me..... **When you come to your senses, hopefully you'll remember that I love you much more that he ever did, and when he breaks your heart again. I'll still be here and Buffy, I'll still love you.** As Buffy shook her head to clear William's declaration of love, her thoughts then turned to her so-called best friend. **Darla** Buffy still didn't trust the blonde female; who Liam swore was her best friend, as far as she could throw her. But sadly, whether she trusted her or not, Darla Penn backed up William's story to perfection and William's story destroyed any future she might have with Liam.

**Buffy, my brother loves you and inside your mind, underneath all that confusion, you feel the same way about him** Buffy shook her head again and ran her fingers through her silky blonde hair in frustration. "But that's the trouble, I don't. I don't love William, I love Liam." A soft sigh slipped into her voice as she picked up the rings again from the desk and held them in the palm of her hand. As Buffy started to slip the gold wedding band back over her finger, her words from her past came back with an icy blast. ** It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... ** Buffy's heart sank as the rings once again fell to the desk. "Or at least I thought I did..." As she regretfully accepted that Liam was the one most likely misleading her, Buffy remembered where her husband was heading. **Buffy, William Pennington is nothing but a stalker. He made your life hell for weeks. This time I'll kill him. I promised that bastard if he ever went near you again that it would be the sorriest day of his life** "Oh God!" Finally realising the seriousness of the situation, Buffy pulled open the top desk drawer and removed a large address book. As her slim fingers quickly skimmed through the pages, she didn't even question how she had found the book so quickly. Turning to the page marked with a large dark P, Buffy knew in her heart that the name Pennington would not be there, but as her fingers slid down the long list of names, the second name on her lips was.. Penn. Darla Penn. Snatching up the receiver, Buffy pushed the numbers and waited with panic building as the phone continued to ring unanswered. Then, just as she lost all hope of preventing a bloodbath the sound of an annoyed female screeched into her ear. "This better be important, I was in the shower" Buffy sighed as she recognised Darla's voice.

"Darla, Thank God you answered, I didn't know who else I could ask" "Buffy? Honey, I'm soaking wet here. Ring me back in an hour will you?" "I need to find William, like yesterday" Buffy demanded, ignoring the other woman's request At the other end of the phone line, the dripping wet female smiled as she clutched her towel closer to her body. The panic in the Buffy's annoying voice wasn't missed and a warm glow of satisfaction started to spread slowly through her cool veins. Although Darla had planned for Liam to eventually find out about her brother's *affair* it seemed the news had broken much quicker than even she had thought possible. After her lunch date with Buffy, Darla had been worried that all her scheming had been for nothing, but now, much to her delight, it seemed the stupid little bitch hadn't keep her mouth shut after all. Studying her reflection in the bathroom mirror and taking a deep satisfying breath, Darla transformed herself into Buffy's sympathetic best friend "So, you finally came to your senses and realised where your heart really belonged " She started softly, her voice laced with fake concern. Buffy was too worried to notice the treachery in the other woman's voice. All she could see was Liam and William coming to blows and she was terrified of the outcome. Real fear started to twist knots in her stomach as her patience ran out. "Darla, I haven't got time to go into the full story, I need to find William immediately. Liam knows I've seen him and he wants blood" At the increased panic coming from Buffy's end of the line Darla grinned and played the part of a worried sister to perfection "Buffy, what the hell have you done. Will's no match for Liam. Why on earth did you tell him, why couldn't you have just disappeared again?" Slowly, Darla's voice started to rise as she acted out her concern for her brother's safety. Not that William needed her concern. William Pennington had a strong reputation of being able to look after himself, not that Buffy remembered. If anything, Liam was likely to end up on the wrong end of a real beating. Darla grinned. **And I'll be the one to kiss him better** As the evil smile on her face widened, on the other end of the line, Buffy's beautiful features creased into a worried frown.

**This was all her fault. If either man was seriously hurt she was the only one to blame** "I.." Buffy started. But Darla didn't give her victim time to think about an answer, she continued her attack, wearing the already guilt ridden girl to the bone. " William would've happily given up his life here in Sunnydale to have gone away with you. When are you going to accept that you don't belong here, Buffy? You should never have returned" Running her fingers through her hair with frustration, Buffy shook her head. Darla was right, she really should never have come back to Sunnydale.. It was a mistake, and now blood was going to be spilt. As the consequences pounded her head Buffy finally snapped. " Dammit, I haven't got time for this now. Look, I still can't remember where William lives and Liam is already on his way. Just give me the goddamn address" Darla paused for a moment for effect and then reluctantly answered "Crawford Street. William owns the large mansion on Crawford Street...." She didn't have time to finish her sentence before the phone was slammed down in her ear. Buffy had all the information she needed and didn't have time to waste on long *good-byes* The blonde, wrapped only in a towel, replaced the receiver while a large satisfied grin covered her smug face. Everything was going better than she'd ever dreamt possible. This time the little cheerleader's marriage was well and truly history. Meanwhile Back at Ravello Drive, Buffy was out of the front door and half way down the road before she'd even released that she didn't have the slightest idea where Crawford Street was.

Masquerade
"Stop! Dammit, stop" After running in circles for at least four blocks, hoping that something familiar would trigger her memory and point her in the right direction, Buffy reluctantly admitted defeat. It was useless. Her poor excuse for a memory wouldn't play fair and even though she'd been born in this small town, and supposedly lived here all of her life, it made no

difference. In her present state of mind, and just four blocks from home, the troubled young woman was completely lost. Feeling bitter, angry and frustrated, only one thought kept Buffy searching. Sadly, she was almost certain that Liam knew exactly where Crawford Street was and from the look on his face, her enraged husband could be carrying out his threat against William Pennington's at that very second. **Don't worry about it, Buffy.. This time I'll kill him** **I promised that bastard if he ever went near you again it would be the sorriest day of his life** Feeling the panic in her stomach start to spread like a forest fire, burning out of control, Buffy knew she had to do something and she had to do it fast. With every wasted minute that swirled past her, the prospect of stopping the violence between the two men in her life grew less likely. **Two men in her life? ** As the words throbbed inside her brain, Buffy's head began to hurt. Deep inside her mind forgotten memories were surging to reach through the black abyss that kept them trapped. Fragments of her lost life teased and tormented her as they fought to return home, and the more she questioned her past, the more she knew she was being lied to. Tiny flashes from somewhere deep inside her subconscious continually echoed that there was only one man in her life. Only one love had ever reached out and truly touched her heart. **But was it William or Liam?** **William Pennington is nothing but a stalker. He made your life hell for weeks** Liam's angry voice broke through her thoughts, but only to be counter attacked by Will's. ** When you finally come to your senses, you'll remember that I love you much more than he *ever* did, and when he breaks your heart again** More confused than ever, Buffy struggled with the two faces dancing before her eyes. William was, rich, good-looking and he seemed genuinely found of her. But it felt wrong. There was something missing with this man, heat - fire. There was simply no spark when he kissed her.

Liam on the other hand was a different story. He not only sparked; he sent shock waves of electricity right through her body. He held the missing element. When Liam touched her skin he set her blood on fire. Buffy still couldn't remember falling in love with the man she had married, but if she really searched her heart, she didn't need her memories to know the answer. She belonged to Liam. She didn't have a past and until it returned her present was stuck in limbo but when Buffy thought of the future, if she was truly honest with herself, all she could see was Liam. All she wanted was Liam. **But would he still want her? After this night was over would he be the one leaving this time?** As her thoughts snapped back to the present, and to the look on Liam's face when he first heard that William was back, Buffy knew she was wasting precious time. She had to find both the mansion and Pennington before Liam did... For all their sakes. **If only these streets didn't all look the same** Turing her head one last time for inspiration, a flash of blurring yellow on the horizon answered her prayers. **She might not remember the way to the mansion but there were others that did** Stepping off the sidewalk, Buffy stood in the middle of the road and holding out both of her small arms she waved frantically, forcing the approaching taxi to stop in its tracks. With a slight screech of rubber tyres the car came to an abrupt halt and the bald headed driver shook his head in amazement as he glared out of the side window. "Lady, have you got a serious death wish or something?" Charles Gunn demanded as he watched the small blonde waif step closer to his cab. It was his last run of the night and the last thing he needed was to hit a pedestrian, especially a crazy one. Relieved that the car had stopped for her, Buffy was too immersed in her own troubles to notice the sarcasm in the driver's voice. Her only concern was getting to William Pennington's house as quickly as possible and putting an end to the nightmare that had taken over her life. Her first priority was stopping any bloodshed, but while she was heading in that direction, Buffy also knew there was a second reason for seeking out the English poet. She was no longer taking *no* for an answer. With the two men in the same room, if Liam couldn't or wouldn't fill in the lost pieces of the puzzle, then maybe William would. And if they didn't, maybe it was time to make them... **That's if they hadn't killed each other first ** "Hey! Do you want a cab or not?" The rich masculine voice of the driver broke her out of reverie.

Leaning forward, Buffy peered into the side window and gratefully nodded her head. "I need to get to Crawford Street. I'm looking for a mansion " She asked as she flung open the car door and after closing it behind her, dropped wearily into the back seat. "Please, as quickly as possible" "Sure, I know the place you want. That's where that poet lives. My wife reads his work all the time. A bit hearts and flowers for my taste but she likes it" The driver chatted happily as he pulled back out into the road. Although it was getting dark, he was surprised the girl needed a cab, it was such a short distance and every person in Sunnydale knew where the English writer lived. After all, how many celebrities were there in Sunnydale? Raising his eyes to his mirror, Charles Gunn studied his passenger sitting quietly in the back seat. She was an extremely attractive young woman, although a little on the thin side if he was honest, but it wasn't her looks that caught his attention. The girl's eyes were so troubled, the sad hazel orbs almost looked haunted. Turning on to main Street Charles tried to strike up a conversation. "I guess you must be new in town" He asked, not believing a local wouldn't know where Crawford street was. Buffy was looking out of the window at the passing houses, at the question she sighed sadly. "I've been away for a while, I guess my memory's not what it used to be" She tried to act calmly but the tension in her voice wasn't missed on either of them. " Don't worry, It's not that far, we'll be there in less than ten minutes" "Good... That's good." Buffy turned her head away from the window as her gallery flashed past and closed her eyes. It seemed the longest ten minutes of her life... ***** Crawford street, it turned out, was just on the outskirts of town and much to Buffy's surprise, it seemed that every person in Sunnydale knew of William Pennington and the large mansion he kept on in Sunnydale. Everyone that was except her. The journey seemed to last forever and as the cab turned down the impressive street in question, Buffy's eyes nervously flicked from one large building to the next, hoping that one of them would jump out at her and shout its recognition. In the end she didn't need to

be told that they had arrived. When the car pulled up in front of the most impressive building in Sunnydale, Buffy went cold. Looming up out of the dark night, the cold gray structure seemed to whisper out her name from every nook and cranny. "This is Pennington's place, but it doesn't look like anyone's at home" the driver said offering his opinion as he glanced up at the tall building, blanketed in total darkness. This part of town was so isolated; he didn't like the idea of leaving the young woman all alone. There was something very vulnerable about the small blonde girl in the back seat of his cab and the thought of leaving her stranded went against his better judgement. "I can wait for you if you want" Charles asked over his shoulder. Buffy smiled her gratitude but refused the kind offer. "Thanks, but I'll be fine" Climbing from the cab, she watched the taillights disappear back up the street, and turning towards the mansion, Buffy shivered and felt the small hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. There was something evil about this house. At one time in her life this house had caused her intense pain. **And you want to go right back inside? Great idea** Buffy tried to reason with herself about going inside, but she already knew she would lose that argument. **Liam's inside that house. Liam, William Pennington and the secrets from my past.. ** It didn't matter how afraid she was; there was no going back.. ***** Climbing the stone steps that lead to the front door, Buffy took a deep breath and felt a needed rush of adrenaline wash through her tired body. She was through with all the lies, all the bullshit she had been spun since she'd first woken into this nightmare of a world. It was time to take charge of her life and stop being the victim. It was time to fight fire with fire and at that very moment Buffy realised that maybe it was time she used a few dirty tricks of her own. **You just left, Buffy. You didn't give me the chance to understand. You. Just. Left. ** If what Liam had told her was true, he couldn't help her; so, she would just have to help herself. On reaching the top step, the first signs that Liam had reached the mansion before her was clearly obvious. The large front door was left ajar and as Buffy pushed it open and walked in, she immediately noticed the sound of broken glass snap crisply beneath her small feet.

**Oh God, Liam. What have i done** Buffy felt her stomach nosedive and it took every ounce of strength she had, not to turn around and run as far away from the house as possible. Only the knowledge that if she did run, it wouldn't just be from the house stopped her. Buffy knew if she didn't confront her demons now she wouldn't stop running until she could never be found again. As a vision of soft brown, enigmatic eyes rose up and teased her memory, she finally accepted that she didn't want to run any longer. She wanted answers. Straight answers. What ever happened next she was finally taking back her life. "Hello?.." Buffy waited for a second but there was no reply. Only faint echoes of her own voice accompanied her footsteps. "Liam?" She called out louder this time but received the same response. Continuing to walk through the impressive hallway, the sound of shattered glass was the only noise that broke the eerie stillness. The hall was in darkness but even still, Buffy couldn't fail to notice other telltale signs of a fight. On noticing a splintered table blocking her path a sliver of fear crept slowly up her spine. **This was all her fault and if Liam was hurt...** Buffy shut that thought down as quickly as it flashed through her head. The thought of her husband suffering pain because he thought she was an unfaithful bitch was more than she could bear. "Maybe I should reconsider that running away option again" Buffy tried to joke but it fell flat. Following the trail of damage, she eventually noticed a small glow coming from under a door at the far end of the hall. With a small push the large door opened without a sound. Buffy stopped dead still in the doorway and peered inside. The room was beautiful. Heavy drapes hung across all the windows and although the only light in the room came from a small over turned lamp, the uninvited guest had little difficulty making out the lone figure, leaning drunkenly against one wall at the far end of the sitting room. As she stood in the doorway William Pennington made no attempt to look up. His thoughts were far too immersed in the bottle of bourbon that was happily slipping down his throat, trying to numb the burning pain that shot behind his bruised eyes. His whole body ached but that wasn't the pain William was trying to wipe out. He had been so close, so bloody close to taking Buffy away from that bastard Angelus that he could almost taste it. But suddenly it didn't taste so sweet. It wasn't supposed to have

happened this way. When Darla had first asked him to help her get rid of Liam's wife it had all seemed so simple. He wasn't supposed to care about her, just break them apart. **That stupid bitch of a sister should have warned me. ** William inwardly cursed as he once again raised the bottle to his lips and tried to numb the pain in his heart. ** Nothing about Buffy Angelus was simple, she had away of getting into a man's blood and once under his skin, there was no way of getting free.** For the first time in his life, William was hopelessly in love and there was nothing he wouldn't do to keep her. The fight had been wonderful; Liam had played right into his hands and as soon as his bruises were at their best, he would put a call into the cops and have the loser arrested. At the though of Buffy's husband behind bars and finally out of his hair, Will smiled. It was at that point that he felt her presence. "William.. " Buffy's spoke quietly but made no attempt to enter the room. Lifting his head to the sound of her voice, he didn't answer at first; he just let his eyes drink in the contours of her face. Under such an intense gaze Buffy felt her cheeks flush and her throat go dry. On closer inspection, the room was a real mess. As her eyes scanned the damage, Will's head turned a fraction and the light from the lamp lit up the full extent of his beating. Both his eyes were beginning to swell and there was a thin line of blood smeared beneath nose, which by the shape of it was possibly broken. "Oh, God.. Are you all right?" With the shock of seeing the good looking face, battered and bruised almost beyond recognition, Buffy took her first steps into the room. Yet again broken glass cracked beneath her feet. At this second question William shook his head, slightly amused at her concern. At the sudden movement a searing pain shot through his battered body and he quickly lifted the bottle he was still holding to his split lips and knocked back what was left of the contents. The cool amber liquid burned with a welcome fire as it slid effortlessly down the back of his throat, but even though most of the alcohol was now swimming happily through his blood stream, it so far hadn't numbed the pain. "I hope your husband knows a good defence lawyer, he's certainly going to need one" William looked up and his hungry gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes. For an instant, she felt an unreasonable tremor of fear flutter through her body but it was quickly pushed a side.

"I think it's safe to say Liam has that covered" Refusing to let herself feel intimidated, Buffy's voice hid her fear well. As she studied the damage her husband had left on the younger man's face, strangely, her first thought was for Liam's safety. ** Liam might be an excellent attorney but If Pennington pressed assault charges against him...** Buffy tried not to think of the consequences. Trying to ignore the deep purple swellings now covering what had earlier been a devilishly handsome face, she tried to change the subject. "You told me we were lovers.. I want to know why you lied to me." "I never lied to you, pet." Buffy didn't move. "Angelus got to you, didn't he?" Pulling away from the wall, William snorted in disgust. Buffy still didn't move, although her heart was beating so hard she thought that it would break her chest she stood her ground. "He's a clever sod, I'll give him that much" William spat a mouthful of blood towards the floor and dropped the bottle he was holding into the nearest chair. "It never crossed your mind that he's the one telling the lies. No, you'd rather believe what that smarmy bastard fed you than follow your own heart" Shoving his hands in the front pockets of his tight, faded jeans, Will slowly sauntered forward. As the tall, slim figure moved through the dim light, Buffy tried not to notice how his jeans sheathed his lean hips or how his white T-shirt hugged his well-developed chest. Tilting her head slightly, their eyes met and for a second she almost swore she saw a flicker of despair in his penetrating gaze, but only for a second. When she looked again it was quickly replaced with an arrogant gleam. **Sexy, arrogant bastard** Even on the wrong end of a severe beating William Pennington looked hot, but no matter how much sex appeal he radiated, Buffy didn't feel the attraction. Even with amnesia she knew he wasn't her type **He's wasn't Liam** **You'd rather believe what that smarmy bastard fed you than follow your own heart**

"But that's where you're wrong. It's my heart that knows you're lying." Buffy snapped back the reply with cool certainty. William laughed "Am I? And why would I lie Buffy?" he asked as his hungry eyes slid insolently down the full length of her body. She was still wearing her new dress and it was having the same effect on him as it had earlier worked on Angel Buffy stood frozen to the spot as William continued to close the distance between them. As his tall lean body moved ever closer the air between them seemed to crackle. Anticipation, fear, love, hate. The emotions being exchanged between the two of them with each new step were almost tangible. "Someone is lying to me" Feeling uncomfortable by his closeness, Buffy tried to retreat but her progress was stopped as she felt her back hit the cold wall "Like I said before, why would *I* lie? You might not remember yet but when you do you'll know that you belong to me, Buffy. You love me" William's grin was so smug Buffy would have given anything at that moment to knock it right off his face. Coming to a stand still Will placed his hands on each side of her body, trapping her small frame up against the wall. He leaned forward, his nose nearly touching hers. Buffy swallowed, she could almost taste the alcohol on his breath, as she took a nervous breath, she could smell his blood "Trust me, pet. I'm the good guy here" He was teasing her now and his eyes glinted seductively as his body pressed even closer. Buffy nervously bit into her bottom lip. "I don't believe.. " she didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. William grabbed her; his long slim fingers gripping her thin arms so tightly they bruised the delicate flesh. Buffy struggled but before she could breakaway he clamped his hot mouth over her lips and kissed her with a desire so passionate that the girl in his arms almost forgot how to breathe. "Buffy. Oh, God, Buffy." William whispered fiercely as time after time, his hungry mouth tore at her lips Caught completely off guard, Buffy's mind whirled as her blood pumped wildly through her veins. The kiss was rough, almost violent and as William groaned deep in his throat, his arms tightened around Buffy's slim shoulders pulling her body into his. The kiss grew more intense but even as Buffy's heart thundered against her ribs she knew that it wasn't passion she was feeling.... The kiss was wrong, in every way possible it was wrong.

This man could never have been her lover; he didn't come near to touching her heart the way Liam always did. He might be touching her body but he could never reach inside her soul. William Pennington was a fraud, a liar and that was the truth. She didn't know if it was a just a gut feeling or a lost memory trying to break through, but she knew it was the truth. **This man wasn't the reason you left Angel** With the realisation set in stone, Buffy finally yanked her head away. Her large hazel eyes flashing with emotion "Let go of me. It's not you, it was never you" For a moment only the sound of hard breathing separated them. In an instant, the temperature in the room seemed to drop to freezing and both occupants knew their lives would never be the same again. "It was never you" Buffy whispered again as she fought to control her breathing. The harsh words stuck home and stole every vestige of colour from the blonde man's cheeks. Standing in the dim light, his skin took on the deadly white appearance of the dead. "Your memory's returned" It was a statement, not a question. One glance at the fire in her hazel eyes told him without doubt that the deception was over. Buffy just continued to glare and played her own charade for all she was worth. Whatever happened next, she knew it would once again change her life forever. For the longest moment of William Pennington's life there was no sound in the room. If he were completely honest with himself he would have admitted that her kiss had already told him everything he needed to know. She didn't love him, even in a complete state of amnesia Buffy couldn't return the feelings his heart overflowed with and, now that she remembered her past, she would never be his. It was over. The bluff was called and he had lost. Fooled into believing that the woman he adored now knew who really was lying, William felt his happiness slide away. He'd always known the game he and Darla were playing was dangerous. There was always a strong possibility that Buffy would remember their so-called love affair was only in his head, but it was a chance he accepted willingly. Stretching the truth a little or even a lot if he got the girl of his dreams wasn't a problem. And it had almost worked. Just a few more days and the Angelus' marriage would have been destroyed forever. The look on the old sod's face that night had told him that much.

Liam Angelus had walked from his house a shattered man. ** If only the bloody amnesia had lasted a few more days** Cursing under his breath, and knowing he had nothing left to lose William took a step towards Buffy. "I might have lied about our affair, Buffy, but it doesn't change how I feel about you." He started softly and nervously ran his hand across his bruised jaw. Buffy moved away from the wall, but as the realisation of William's deceit sank in, her anger started to spin out of control. Thinking she was being lied to was one thing but hearing somebody admit that they had purposely tried to ruin her life was very different. "Oh God, I was right, it was you all the time. Everything you told me was a lie... I almost believed you" Too late, William realised his mistake. Buffy hadn't remembered her past at all. She had played him for a fool and he had let her trick a confession from his stupid mouth. **Fuck it** At the look of horror that crossed her beautiful features, Will quickly tried to justify his actions. "I only did it because I love you, Buffy. You have no idea what it's like watching you, day after day, being so unhappy. I've had this ache in my chest ever since the first second I saw you. You were in so much pain...The way he treated you.. I just wanted to save you " William's jaw tightened and his skin drew tight across his chiselled cheekbones. Holding on to the back of a chair for support, Buffy closed her eyes as a single tear slipped beneath her dark lashes.. "I love you" He tried to reach for her but she pushed his hand away. "You bastard. You low-life lying bastard. I've been in hell for the last two weeks and all the time you could have ended it. That was when you could have saved me " Buffy cried out as the pain and confusion trapped inside her head exploded. She wasn't a cheat or a liar. He was. To her surprise, William started to laugh but there was no humour in the cold sound " You're not the only one, luv. I've been in Hell now for the last two years. I didn't want to fall in love with you. I knew it was wrong, but I had no choice. You're in my gut, in my throat, I'm drowning in you Summers, I'm drowning in you" Before she could move further away, William's fingers clamped around her wrists, once again pulling her body

up hard against his chest. " Just give me a chance to explain" Leaning his face close to her ear, Will's hot breath washed over her cold skin in shuddering waves. "No" Buffy gasped She tried pulling her hands free but his long fingers bit deep into her flesh. "Stop fighting me, I won't hurt you" "You already have" "Please..." Buffy refused to listen as renewed anger burned through her veins. "After what you've put me through there's nothing you could say that I would believe. I could never love a man like you..." She raised her head and stared straight into his cool, dangerous eyes. William smirked, but her next three words cut right through his heart and shattered the four beating chambers into a million shards. "You're beneath me" Pennington jerked as if she had physically slapped him but continued to grip both her small wrists in his large fingers. "You bitch. You bloody bitch.. I'll show you who's beneath who" Before Buffy could move, the handsome features facing her changed into an almost unrecognisable mask of fury. With a violent jerk, once again Will's lips firmly moulded over her mouth. Gasping in horror, Buffy tried to break free, but he was too strong. Continuing to struggle, hot tears of anger welled up in her eyes but it was only when she tasted blood in her mouth, where his teeth had bitten into her lower lip did she finally find the strength to push away "Let. Me. Go. " The sound of her voice sent a chill right through the room. Still locked within the circle of William's strong arms Buffy glared at him with stormy green eyes "Buffy, please" William pleaded as he tried desperately to hold onto the struggling girl's

wrists. The situation was getting out of control and he had to try and make her see sense. Buffy was now beyond listening to anything he said. Her bruised lips throbbed and her wrists stung with the pressure of his finger. "Get the fuck off me" Without another word, Buffy kicked out her foot and nailed his shin as hard as she could. "Bloody Hell" William jerked back in shock, releasing Buffy's wrist at the same time. For a second, a look of sheer disbelief flashed across his face but it was quickly dropped. Knowing that he had burnt all his bridges the handsome young man's heavy shoulders finally sagged in defeat and he stepped back. " You bastard, I could have you arrested for this" Buffy's voice was so quiet he almost missed the threat. When she lifted her hand to her mouth and ran her trembling fingers across her swollen lips, William sighed, letting out a deep ragged breath. "For what its worth.. I'm sorry" Even as the words slipped over his lips he knew in his heart that he wasn't sorry for lying, just sorry it hadn't worked. Not wanting to stay in the same room as Pennington for another second, Buffy shook her head and turned to walk away, but as she went to walk out the door, she stopped. "Just answer me one question honestly.... Darla... Darla told me the same story... Why? " That was the one part of this charade that Buffy still didn't understand. Darla had almost convinced her that William was telling the truth. At the sound of his sister's name, William suddenly saw one last spark of hope. As long as Buffy thought it was only him plotting against her, Darla still had a chance to break them wide apart. Buffy might hate him at the moment but if she thought Liam was screwing Darla, maybe, just maybe he could still save something from this disaster. It worked like a charm the last time they had tried it. Buffy was so angry she ran all the way to New York. As long as she still had amnesia there was no reason it wouldn't work again. William inwardly smiled. If he couldn't have Buffy he would do everything in his power to make sure that Liam never could. Turning his head he let his eyes shadow with guilt. "Don't blame Darla, she's my sister and she believed what I told her. Darla has nothing to do with any of this "Even as the lie was growing William started to feel that there was

still a chance. Darla would save the day; she always was the stronger sibling. **Besides, she had got him into this fucking mess in the first place** Lowering his eyes and looking as sad and pathetic as he possibly could, the young poet was already working out his next move. He took a slow breath, fighting to keep his tone as level as possible. " Tell your *husband* I won't be pressing charges" Will rubbed the large purple swelling that covered his jaw and winced slightly with the pain. There was still a hint of bitterness in his voice but that couldn't be helped. After all, he was a poet not a bloody actor. Relieved that Liam wouldn't get in trouble, Buffy nodded. She still wasn't sure if she believed William, especially the part about his sister not knowing, but when her gaze finally settled on his battered face all she could read was pain in the depths of his troubled eyes. Pain and a deep sadness. Moving through the doorway Buffy realised that she still had so many questions unanswered but now was not the time or the place to ask them. Taking one final look at the man who had tried to destroy her marriage, she left William Pennington with a final shot. "Maybe its time you took a trip back to the mother country.. And stayed there" ****** William dragged his bruised body up the stairs and headed straight for the bathroom. As he switched on the light he caught his reflection in the mirror and winced. Both eyes were now nothing more than swollen slits and the best part of his jaw was purple. It was definitely not one of his better nights. Turning on the shower spray, Will kicked off his boots, carefully pulled his blood splattered T-shirt over his head and dropped his jeans on the bathroom floor. His face was a mess, his dreams of a life with Buffy were in ruins and there was no hot water. Stepping under the spray the water was ice cold and it stung. Sharp needles attacked his bruised flesh but in his present state of mind William didn't care. It was a welcome distraction. Closing his eyes, he leant against the cold tiles and as the icy water washed over his body he let all thoughts of Buffy wash over his mind. Tomorrow, first thing he would call Darla. She would know what to do. Darla would make it right, she always did.

With the sound of the front door slamming loudly behind her, Buffy held her head high and walked away from William Pennington's house determined to bring an end, once and for all, to the nightmare that had plunged her life into confusion.

For one terrifying moment, as she fled along the darkened hallway of the mansion, she swore she felt William's presence behind her. But, as her heartbeat pounded so hard in her chest that it almost snapped a rib, Buffy accepted that her *stalker* had finally accepted the painful truth. **Stalker?** As soon as the word Angel had used for William slipped in to her head Buffy rejected it. Despite everything that had happened between the two of them, she knew that the cruel description of the blonde English poet wasn't really the truth. She realised sadly, that in all fairness, William really did seem to love her. The foolish young man had worn his heart on his sleeve and his emotions had blazed from his cool blue eyes with every longing glance, but it still didn't change anything. No matter how much he thought he loved her, Buffy couldn't change her feelings about him. She would never love William. She couldn't love him. Taking a full breath of cool night air, Buffy silently cursed her amnesia and the fact that she still couldn't remember what her life had been like just a few months earlier. It was so hard living in the dark, not knowing who she could to turn to or who she to trust. Running her hands through her hair she stopped when she reached her temples and ignoring the pain, she pressed her fingers firmly against the skin. "It's not like I'm asking for total recall. Just a few names and faces would be a start." Buffy tried to reason with the dark void that swirled inside in her head but as always it remained immune to her pleas. Whatever was trapped inside her mind it was content to stay there... **But for how long. A week. A month. A year.... The rest of my life** The thought of living the rest of her life with no memory of her childhood, her family, or of even falling in love, sent a rush of depression straight to her heart. But, this time, Buffy refused to feel sorry for herself. If that was how her life played out, she now knew she had the strength to deal with it. The scene with William had been painful but it had cleared up a lot of confusion Buffy now knew that whatever her past life had been like, it didn't include loving Will Pennington. She didn't need memories to know that much. Her skin whispered it to her and the beat of her heart confirmed it and if she really needed more confirmation, the rich blood that pounded through her veins screamed out that her heart had been lost long before she had ever known William.

Her heart belonged to Angel. It didn't matter if he now hated her, If he never forgave her. Buffy's heart would always belong to Angel. Thinking back to William she sadly shook her head What ever his reasons were for lying to her, Buffy would never be able forgive the goodlooking Englishman for his deceit and dishonesty. He had taken advantage of her when she had been at her lowest and that in itself was unforgivable. For a second she felt a flicker of grief. In different circumstances they might have become friends, but that could never happen now, any chance of a friendship was ruined. After tonight, Buffy knew that she would never see William again, the defeated look in his eyes when she turned away from him had told her that much. **Maybe that was for the best** Feeling a slight weight lift from her slim shoulders Buffy walked down the stone steps and, standing in the middle of the deserted street, she exhaled a deep sigh of relief. **She had one tiny part of her life back.. Whatever else she might turn out to be, she wasn't an adulteress** A cool breeze fluttered down Crawford Street and gently rattled the leaves in the nearby trees. Buffy shivered as the chill brushed over her skin and left tiny goosebumps on her bare arms. There was definitely a storm in the air and in all her hurry to stop Liam from killing William, she had left without a coat and was now stranded in the middle of Sunnydale. Tilting her head up towards the heavens, she watched a thick blanket of cloud move slowly across the evening sky. As the stars faded from her sight, Buffy sighed. The swirling grey masses dominating the skyline matched her mood perfectly. ** How could she have been fooled so easily. She should have known right from the start that William was lying..** **Why hadn't she seen right through him..?** She already knew both these arguments were irrational. Pennington had taken advantage of her amnesia and used it for... for what?..... Buffy shook her head not wanting to even travel up that road of thought. How easily it could have all gone wrong. With a shudder she realised how simple it would have been to have believed his stories and fallen into his bed..... "Stop it!" Again she slammed the door on thoughts of William. **William was now firmly in the past. She now had to look only towards the future**

"Do I even have a future?" **You could always get the hell out of here once and for all. Leave Sunnydale and all this misery behind you.** Buffy closed her eyes as the thought drifted into her mind. Leaving this town was a possibility but the only trouble was, if she ran now, the empty void that lived within her, would surely follow her for the rest of her days. "Or maybe I could just stay, stay here and make a new life for myself?" Ignoring the fact that she was standing in the middle of the street talking to herself, Buffy pondered the argument out loud. There were two options now staring in front of her.. ** A life completely on her own or.... A new life with Angel?** The second choice brought a small smile to her lips. **How many people get a second chance?** "But would Angel still want her?** Buffy looked up and then down the still deserted street and shook her head wishing that she had accepted the cab driver's kind offer to wait for her. She shuddered to think what William had told Liam and how much he had believed. From the damage to William's face she knew it hadn't gone well. The first thing she had to do now was find her husband and bring an end to William's deception once and for all. Only after they had laid the past to rest could they talk about the future. But there was one giant stumbling block........With the whole town so unfamiliar, where on earth would she start? "Where would Liam go?" Buffy closed her eyes and took a slow deep breath. At first she felt nothing, just the usual swirling void that blocked her mind with its confusion and tormented her with its empty promises. But Buffy was tired of playing the victim, instead of giving in to the darkness that fought her at every turn; she battered her way through the abyss. Her memory might not play fair but as Buffy delved into her soul, her heart played its trump card. A tiny crack appeared in the void and a trickle of light seeped into her mind. **The beach. Go to the beach** Night had completely fallen on Sunnydale by the time she reached her destination and the

occasional moonbeam peeping through the gathering clouds was the only light breaking the darkness. After sinking up to her ankles in the soft sand, Buffy slipped off her shoes and decided to continue on barefoot. Walking to the water's edge, the fine white sand felt cold and damp beneath her small feet and every few seconds, a small rush of water would slip over her toes as the cool waves caressed the shore and then quickly fled back to the sea. The beach was simply beautiful in the dim light, and even though it appeared to be totally deserted, the small girl didn't feel at all out of place. Buffy had the strangest feeling that she was safe there. Staying near the water's edge for a guideline, she continued to walk along the wet sand with just the sound of the waves for company. Buffy stopped to pick up a small shell from beneath her toes and breathed in deeply. She licked her lips tasting the salt in the air and sighed as the cool sea breeze washed over her and revitalised her tired skin. For the very first time that night she felt relaxed. And that was the moment she felt his presence **Angel was there** She couldn't see him yet, but she could feel him. Buffy knew that somewhere in this darkness Liam was out there, hurt and alone and fighting with demons of his own ****** A mile along the beach and with the lights of Sunnydale now a distant memory, Angel stared out at the ocean in front of him and his handsome face fell into a deep scowl. At his feet the usually lazy waves were almost unrecognisable as they crashed angrily along the shoreline. His expensive leather shoes were probably already ruined as the salt water splashed around his ankles, soaking through his sock and trousers. Not that Liam cared. He'd gone there hoping the cool sea air would clear his hot head and maybe blow all thoughts of his wife away once and for all, but it had been a mistake. The beach was the last place he should have sought solace. Buffy was everywhere. The surf whispered her name as it tumbled over his feet. Every grain of sand reminded him of happier times and just what he had lost.

Standing alone in the darkness, with the salty spray blowing through his hair, the tall dark figure tried desperately to put the shattered pieces of his life back together. As the events of the last few hours replayed in his head like a bad movie, the lonely young man angrily chastised himself for acting so foolishly. He couldn't believe that he'd almost fallen for that poet's bullshit. Life had been crazy these last four months and nothing made sense any more but if there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Buffy had never cheated on him. Their marriage had been so damn perfect that the idea of either of them cheating was laughable. She wasn't just his wife, she was his lover and his best friend all rolled into one. Liam honestly believed that he would have known if she had been that unhappy. He would have felt it in his soul if she had given her heart away to Pennington. **But you didn't feel her leave you** Closing his eyes Liam shook the argument from his head. In all honesty, it was too close to home. It was true, he hadn't seen her leaving him, the day it happened had been such a surprise it had almost knocked him over. **It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy** He still found it madness. Buffy had left him for something *HE* had supposedly done and no matter how hard he tried to think back, Liam was still dammed if he knew what on earth it was. They hadn't fought, not so much as a cross word and, then, completely out of the blue his wife had fled into the night. **But she didn't leave you for him. ** The thought brought little comfort. Somewhere lost deep in his wife's memory there was still the real reason for her leaving and until she remembered, Liam knew they would both continue to be haunted. ****** Thirty minutes after arriving at the beach, Buffy's sand covered feet had covered almost a mile without seeing another human being. The beach was totally deserted and as the clouds continued to roll in from the sea, bringing the promise of a real downpour, the small glow of moonlight that had guided her earlier path grew dimmer. But it didn't matter how dark or how cold the night got; she wasn't quitting until she found him. With a lonely sigh, Buffy wrapped her cold arms around her body and walked deeper into the night

A lone dark figure stood gazing out toward the sea; his mind lost deep in thought, as the troubles of the world pressed firmly down on his broad shoulders. In dark trousers and a loose black silk shirt, which flapped freely in the soft sea breeze, the tall form was almost cloaked by the blanket of night. Almost - but not quite. Watching the endless shoreline blend into the distance with no sign of another human being in sight, Buffy stopped for a moment to get her bearings. She turned her face towards the water's edge and let the salty breeze spray up over her face. From all indications there was a real storm rolling in from the ocean. On the horizon large black rain clouds merged over the silky waters, ready to do battle with each other all night and if she wasn't careful, Buffy knew she would be in for one hell of soaking. Even if she turned back now she doubted she would make it in time. On that thought, she glanced one last time at what she believed was a deserted beach and as her eyes swept the vast nothingness, the moon chose that precise moment to slip out from beneath a blanket of cloud. A soft moonbeam of light swept down on the sand casting an almost ghostly white glow on the hidden figure. "Angel...." ***** Even though he hadn't seen a soul in over an hour, Liam had the strangest sensation of being watched. The sensation grew. "Hey!" She tried for the casual approach but the tone was a little strained. Liam made no attempt to turn around, he just kept his gaze fixed on the dark waves dancing in the distance and focused on their anger instead of his own pain. "How did you find me?" Buffy sighed, she still wasn't really sure herself. In the end she just told him the truth. "I have no idea. I just closed my eyes and followed my heart" Still refusing to turn around and face her, Liam's eyes fixed firmly on the ocean in frustration. "Your heart told you I was here?" Buffy nodded.

"I don't understand how, but it's as if i could feel you. I just knew you would be here." She watched his broad shoulders waiting for some kind of reaction, when there was none, she continued in a low whisper. " Angel.. My head might have forgotten you but my heart remembers" As the words slipped into his head, Liam slowly turned around and met her eyes. Buffy watched as the anger drained from his tired face, leaving his dark haunted gaze full of pain and sadness. "My heart remembers as well and that's what's killing me Buffy. I don't know when it all fell apart and I don't know how to make it right" The sadness in his voice cut her deeply. Until now they had been going around in circles but it was time to stop dancing with each other and face their problems head on. "I've seen William" she started quietly but didn't get very far before Liam interrupted. "Me too" At the sound of the other man's name, he smirked bitterly and unconsciously rubbed his bruised knuckles. The back of his right hand was swollen and already turning a painful shade of blue. For a second his mind flickered back to the earlier confrontation with Pennington and his anger intensified. Buffy watched as a rapid play of emotion flashed across his face. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you? "She asked with concern but she could already see for her self that his face was unmarked. Liam snorted with disgust. The very thought of Pennington hurting him physically was ridiculous. But even as he thought it, he knew it wasn't quite true. Pennington had hurt him, as much as Liam hated to admit it, the arrogant bastard had almost destroyed him with a few smug words. "He told me the two of you were having an affair behind my back" Liam couldn't stop himself, he knew it was bullshit but the words tumbled over his lips before he could stop them Buffy fell silent for a moment carefully choosing her next words; the last thing she wanted was to send her husband running off after William again. She needed to tell him the truth but maybe she should hold back on some of the more sordid details. "He was lying." Liam lifted his head, noticing immediately the turmoil on her face. "Was he? And how do you know that. I thought you couldn't remember him?" For a

second the anger returned and flashed brightly in his chocolate orbs. Buffy swallowed hard but refused to feel intimidated. She hadn't done anything wrong. "He told me the same thing that he told you and because I was hurt and confused I believed him. How could I ask you? I didn't have anybody I could turn too. I didn't have anybody..." Liam started to move forward but on seeing the distress on her face he stopped. Buffy fought back the tears that burned the back of her throat and held her head high. "He was very convincing. He was sweet and kind and he could see how lost I was and he used it to his advantage." "And you just fell for it?" " I might have amnesia but dammit I'm not stupid, It took a while but I saw through his lies and tonight I called his bluff. " Did he touch you?" Liam asked, his jaw tight with frustration. Wanting the violence to end Buffy shook her head "In his own crazy way I think he really does loves me, but it was all in his head. I don't love him. I don't feel anything for him at all..." A look of doubt shadowed Liam's eyes and for the longest time it lingered there. "We don't have to worry about him anymore. William's promised to leave me alone, he's not going to cause us any more problems" Angel snorted again. William Pennington had made it very clear that night that their problems had only just started. **For a start there would be assault charges** Whilst caught up in his own thoughts he failed to notice the expression on Buffy's face as her eyes started to move around the beach. "Angel.. I..." She bit into her bottom lip as her eyes took in the dark rocks that towered up behind them. "This place is so familiar. Have we been here before" The question jolted Liam back to the present. "Do you remember?" "Just for a second there was something... It's gone now but I have been here before,

right?" **Tell her the truth** " Yes.. We used to come here to swim. Before we were married we would come down here to get away from Dawn and... " The sadness in his voice returned but it wasn't swimming in the sea that Buffy remembered "No, there's something else" She struggled desperately to retain the memory. This time the feelings were so strong that she could almost touch them. Tiny echoes whispered deep inside her head as the void, that was holding back her past, started to break down. Shaking her head she frowned not able to make any sense of the feelings she was receiving. "Why does this place seem so important to me?" Liam sighed deeply. From now on there was no more secrets, if she asked a question he would tell her what she needed to know. No matter how much it hurt. "Because this is where I asked you to marry me. I got down on one knee right there in the sand and I got soaked to the skin for my trouble." Buffy closed her eyes and searched deep for the memory, surely something that important couldn't stay hidden forever. "Did we ever make love here?" Before he could make it stop a flash of tangled limbs and gentle moans rose up from of his memory and once again tormented his eyes. Liam just nodded his reply as he fought to wipe the visions way. It simply hurt too much knowing that Buffy no longer shared these memories with him. Everything hurt too much these days. Feeling his chest start to ache, Liam realised that for Buffy those memories could possibly be lost forever. Buffy shivered as the sea breeze increased and she wrapped her arms around slender frame. In the sky overhead the clouds were continuing to gather, growing thicker with their promise of rain. "I think I was happy here" "You were"

A single clap of thunder brought the conversation to an abrupt end... It was no surprise when it began to rain, the first few drops turning quickly into a downpour. "Quick.. This way" Angel grabbed his wife's hand and turning away from the water's edge, he pulled her towards the nearest shelter ***** "You're soaking wet" "So are you" Buffy blushed feeling her wet dress cling to her curves like a second skin. Using incredible willpower, Liam dragged his hungry eyes away from his wife's trembling body. The shower had made the material of her light dress almost transparent and the sight of her slender frame so close and yet so far away, was driving him almost insane. Scrambling from the storm, Buffy thought the small cave carved out at the foot of the rocks had been a miracle find. Liam remained quiet; he didn't have the heart to tell her that they had been there before. Trying to take his mind off the thoughts he knew would hurt like hell, he turned his head and glanced back outside, hoping for a break in the weather. Outside the moon had temporarily escaped the grey mass of cloud, but the heavens over Sunnydale continued to pour down on them. Turning his back on the rain, and keeping his eyes away from Buffy's curves, he knew their only option was to sit tight and wait for the storm to blow its self out. It was going to be a very long night. Almost soaked to the skin, Buffy shivered and pushed her wet hair away from her eyes. Illuminated by only the soft glow of the moon, she looked so heartbreakingly young and beautiful that Liam felt his body stir with a speed that shocked him. Memories of them making love late at night in the cool sand, just a few months earlier, rose up and washed over his frustrated body and he had to fight back an overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless. The wind chose that precise moment to howl through the cave and to Liam's relief, thoughts of kissing disappeared.

Buffy wrapped her arms around herself to try and keep the chill away but it didn't work. "Buffy, you're cold" Liam reached up and gently brushed the rain away from her face with his fingertips. Buffy shivered again and knew it was more from his touch than the cold. "A little" Her voice shook and the small hairs on her arm stood on end. Liam lifted her hand and started to gently rub the cool flesh beneath his fingertips. As his feather light caresses slid across her skin Buffy's stomach flipped. "I know it's not going to be easy, with the amnesia and all, but we need to talk, Buffy. About Pennington and everything else that's coming between us" Liam took a slow breath, fighting to keep his tone level but it was a waste of effort. How could he speak calmly when his heart was doing somersaults inside his chest? As his long fingers continued to dance lightly across her skin, setting every nerve and fibre alight with their touch, Buffy fought with the very same needs. His touch was so warm and familiar that it was leaving her breathless. Feeling her mouth go dry she slid her tongue nervously across her lower lip, never once taking her eyes from Liam's face. "I know " she whispered and took a small step closer. Looking deeply into his dark eyes, she was amazed at the emotion shining back at her. After everything that had happened between the two of them, he still loved her. He still wanted her. Raising her free hand she trailed one finger gently down his cheek. "I know in my heart that there's a chance that my memory might never return. I also know that people like William can take advantage of that if I let them. So, I'm not letting anyone take advantage of me ever again. I'll call the doctor in the morning and I'll get some help if I can, but I can't worry about the past any more. If it's gone then I'll have to accept that and move on. " Buffy heartbeat increased and she felt a rush of adrenaline pump through her veins, giving her the courage she needed to continue. Taking a deep breath she spoke straight from her heart. "I want a future, Angel.... I want a future with you.. Only you" Outside, the rain thundered down on the sand and the waves crashed up against the shore, but inside the small cave the air between the two ex-lovers grew very still.

After what seemed like eternity, Liam brought his lips to her forehead and gently brushed them across her wet skin. He then moved his hand to her tiny waist and before Buffy could even think about changing her mind, he crushed her into his chest with a deep sigh of relief When he finally spoke his voice was husky and raw, ringing with a conviction that tore at her soul. "I want you too" ***** Buffy trembled but she was no longer shivering from the cold. Pressed firmly up against Angel's muscular chest, her flesh was now burning with a very different kind of heat. She moaned gently as he wrapped his fingers in her hair and settled his mouth over her lips. Liam's lips were cool from the sea breeze and yet, beneath the chill, there was a fire that heated her blood. As his lips devoured her mouth, Buffy's body began to ache in all the most delicious places. She wrapped her arms around his lean waist and kissed him back with all the forgotten passion that she had buried deep inside her heart. Lost in the bliss of his mouth, her thoughts twisted through her head like ivy. The memories from her past were so close to the surface that they fought each other to break into her head. Breaking away from the heaven of her lips, Liam kissed her eyes, her cheeks, and then her neck. When his warm tongue found and traced the small bones in her throat Buffy through her head back and moaned out loud. " You are so beautiful" Liam broke away and looked deep into his wife's hazel eyes. Panting to catch her breath, she stared up at him through the darkness of the cave and the smile that she offered him melted his heart. "You're not so hard on the eyes yourself " If the first smile she gave him melted his lonely heart, the second one turned Liam's whole body into molten liquid. "God! I missed you so much" For a split second Buffy heard a hint of pain return to his velvet voice but it was pushed aside as his hungry lips once again claimed her mouth. Feeling Buffy respond to his kiss, Liam's hands slid over the folds of her wet dress and followed the soft curves of her body. When Buffy mewled deep in her throat his breath caught on a wave of desire so strong, it caused a shudder to pass through his whole body.

His heart leapt as he felt her small fingers on the front of his damp shirt, pulling away at the buttons. Finally free, the shirt slipped down his arms and disappeared, forgotten onto the dark floor. Buffy blushed, a warm colour highlighting her pale cheeks. Swallowing deeply, she reached out her hand and ran her nervous fingers over the taut muscles of her husband's smooth tanned chest, exploding the man she had married and yet cruelly forgotten. When her nails grazed across a tight dark nipple he sucked in a short breath. Liam then lifted own his hand and covered her small fingers. "My turn" He stared at her with such intensity, such hot-blooded desire, that Buffy felt a sudden need to dive back outside into the raging storm just so she could cool off her burning skin. She didn't get a chance. A flash of white-hot fire shot through her bloodstream as his hands slowly drifted down her back, lowering the zip of her dress. Before she could find her lost breath, the wet garment was pooling at her feet, leaving her standing almost naked in the dim moonlight. As the cool night air wafted over her skin, Buffy felt her nipples harden into tiny buds, desperate to be touched. Almost as if he could read her mind, Liam pulled her back into his arms; he lowered his dark head and kissed his way down her throat, brushing his mouth over the soft lace of her bra. Undoing the front clasp, Liam released her small breasts and held them lovingly in his hands. Buffy sighed, feeling her nipples puckering in the cool evening breeze. She then threw her head back with a soft moan as her skin was licked, nibbled and kissed almost to the point of insanity. Her blood ran first hot and then ice cold with each wet caress of his soft tongue. When her husband finally tore his eyes from her wet breasts, Buffy forgot how to breathe. Meeting his dark gaze she saw Liam's eyes were almost black with passion With a groan he pulled her into his arms again, pulling her hips up against him so hard that she could feel the hardness of his desire pressed firmly against her abdomen. Buffy found herself shivering again but this time it was from anticipation. She wanted him, she needed him but more than that, she loved him with every fibre of her body. Liam lips then found hers again, when his tongue flicked the roof of her mouth naked heat pooled in the pit of Buffy's stomach and she almost melted there and then. So lost in the heat of Buffy's mouth Liam almost missed her small fingers work between their tight

bodies and slip the button on his fly. He felt his damp trousers slide over his hips and as they fell at his feet he kicked them free. A clap of thunder high above them broke the lovers apart. Within a second the lightning strike followed. Buffy stood as still as marble, her large hazel eyes never once leaving Liam's face. "Buffy, are you sure you want this?" Liam brushed a loose strand of hair away from his wife's face and marvelled at how much he still loved her. He knew at that moment that he couldn't bear it if he ever lost her again. He would do what ever she wanted, take it as fast or as slow as she needed. Buffy answered the question with her eyes long before she found her voice. "Yes." Lowering her gently to the floor, Buffy found her back being pressed into the cool damp sand. The storm outside was then quickly forgotten as Liam's eyes drank in the sight before him. His heartbeat quickened until it's pounding blocked out every other noise. Reaching out, he softly traced the contours of Buffy's face, before tangling his fingers in the silk of her blonde hair. "I love you" The vulnerable expression in his dark eyes was so sincere that it reached right into Buffy's heart and touched her soul. With the declaration ringing in her heart, Buffy's reached out her hand, cupping the back of his neck and pulled him down into her body. Liam smiled softly as his hands gripped her hips and gently rested between her open thighs. Lifting his head he looked deep into his wife's eyes "Do you still love me?" He asked the question so quietly that it was almost lost on the breeze. Buffy's heart stopped for a second as the air between them grew still. It was a question she had asked herself a million times over the last few days. Closing her eyes for a second she finally let her heart answer for her. "I love you " her reply was barely above a whisper but it was all Liam needed to hear.

With those three words all the hatred and bitterness he had felt over the last few months seeped away. All that mattered now was that Buffy was back in his life and she still loved him. Only him. Tomorrow they would talk but not tonight...Tonight they would heal other wounds Feeling Liam's mouth once more descend on her lips, Buffy hands slid down and came to rest on his firm buttocks, she gasped as she felt his full weight push into her small body, but instinctively she wrapped her legs around his hips. As Liam started to move deep inside of her, stretching and filling her to perfection, Buffy dug her fingers into the taut muscles of his backside, encouraging him on with her hands and her eyes. Moaning softly, their mouths locked in a bruising kiss. Their hands joined. Fingers locking together, both desperate never to let go of the other again. As he moved, Liam's hard chest rubbed against Buffy's breasts. Slow and hard. The friction causing her nipples to harden even more. Buffy gasped, as the pleasure she was feeling became almost unbearable. Swallowing her cries of passion, Liam moved his hips faster, but his lover easily matched his pace. She might not remember making love with this man but her body responded with a memory of its own. Thrusting her hips up to match his rhythm; Buffy let all her fears for the future blow away with the howling wind. In Liam's arms she knew without question that she was safe and that she was loved. Liam was where her heart should be. The past no longer mattered, if it did someday return she would accept it as a bonus and they would deal with it. Feeling her muscles tighten around him, Buffy threw her head back and screamed out as a burst of coloured stars erupted before her eyes. With that final thrust, she gave her husband back her body, her heart and her soul. She was home. ***** Outside in the pouring rain, a lone blonde figure, soaked to the skin stood quietly unobserved by the sated lovers. Darla Penn wasn't worried about the storm raging high in the sky above Sunnydale; she had her own storm brewing deep inside her soul. A deep bitter hatred was burning out of all control, and after witnessing Buffy and Liam's little reunion, that hatred had sent her completely over the edge. Darla's plans changed that night. Knowing that she had once again failed to break the lovers apart she decided a more drastic option was needed. William wouldn't like it but

there was no other choice. **Never send a boy to do a woman's job** she thought bitterly at her brother's failure. No, this time she would do the job herself. As soon as the sun rose Darla was going to put an end to the thorn in her side once and for all. As the plan took shape in her demented head the tormented woman smiled. There was only way to keep Buffy away from Liam. She was going to have to kill her-

For the first time in his life Lindsay Macdonald was totally speechless. His mouth dropped open and his brain whirled deep inside his head but as he stood staring at the scene before him, not a single coherent word could find its way across the barrier of his amazement. Of all the scenarios that had crossed his mind on the short journey across Sunnydale, not one of them had come even close to the actual sight that greeted him... **Some people never cease to amaze you** ***** When the phone had first rung that morning, destroying what was left of an already poor night's sleep, the yawning young lawyer silently cursed his misfortune and pulled his pillow over the top of his head. Lindsey groaned, remembering that he was due in court all afternoon and the last thing he needed was early morning phone calls, killing off the little chance of sleep he might still yet salvage. The thunder and lightning that crashed its' way violently across the Sunnydale skyline had kept him wake for hours, and the tired young lawyer knew unless he got a full eight hours sleep, it would be almost impossible to destroy the prosecution's case that afternoon. The Prosecutor he was up against was a real evil piece of work and Lindsey needed to be at his sharpest, if he had any real hope of winning his case. Shaking his head, he closed his tired eyes, pulled the pillow tighter around his ears but it was all to no avail, the incessant ringing refused to end. Dropping his pillow back behind his head, Lindsey turned his bleary eyes towards the

bedside clock, and saw with horror, that it wasn't morning at all, in fact it wasn't even dawn. As his sleepy head slowly started to wake up, he noticed that the room was still dark and even the damn birds that chirped annoyingly outside his window each morning had better sense than to rise at this ungodly hour. With a low groan of annoyance, which he made no attempt to disguise, Lindsey pulled himself up against the pillow and cradled the receiver next to his ear. "Do you have any idea what time it is? We have to be in court this afternoon and.. What? " The lawyer's eyes widened as the voice on the other end of the line actually seemed to laugh. Lindsey scowled, at that time of the morning his body might be awake but his sense of humour was still very much asleep and if he heard so much as a hint of laughter, he was throwing the phone out of the window. And when he got his hands on the caller, the person in question was likely to go in the very same direction. "If this is your idea of a joke, believe me, it's not funny" He shook his sleepy head and glanced once more at the alarm clock, still disbelieving that anyone would call him at that hour of the morning. "You're where? What the hell are you doing at the beach..? " With a tired sigh he rolled his eyes, even more convinced that the call was a practical joke. Even half-asleep Lindsey knew that no one in his or her right mind would have ventured out onto the beach the previous evening. The unexpected storm had torn its way through Sunnydale until the early hours of the morning and, in his opinion, only an utter fool would have headed there in that kind of weather... Turning his thoughts back to the conversation in his ear, the young man's frown grew darker " Say that again. You want me to do what?" With the reply, Lindsey ran his hand through his rumpled hair and scratched the back of his head. It was bad enough being torn from his sleep, but the thought of being torn from his nice warm bed was something he really didn't want to face. If it had been anybody else but Liam calling, the conversation would have already ended. "Dammit, Liam. Have you been drinking again? " The answer he heard from the other end of the line was short and sharp and left no doubt that his friend was perfectly sober. **Just totally insane** As an evil little voice whispered the thought deep inside his mind, Lindsey grinned first

time that morning. He then closed his eyes and shook his head again. "Okay, you win, I'll be there as soon as I can, but Liam, for your sake, this better be good" With a resigned groan that his beauty sleep was well and truly over for the night, Lindsey threw his long legs over the side of his bed and reached for his jeans ***** Thirty minutes later. Lindsey had little difficulty getting to his destination, the roads to the beach were almost deserted and before he even had time to moan about missing his breakfast, he was turning his car towards the small slip road that led to the more secluded part of the coast. On the horizon, the first sighs of dawn had finally started to break their way through the darkness and with the storm now miles away, the Sunnydale skyline was once again giving birth to a glorious morning. Parking his car just a few feet from the sand, Lindsey took a moment to breathe in the fresh salty air and wondered again what the hell he was doing up at that time of the morning. **Whatever the reason turned out to be, one thing was very sure, Liam was going to seriously owe him for this** Not bothering to lock the door, he left his car by the side of the road and strolled across to the beach. Finding himself standing alone in the morning sunlight, there was one thing that the lawyer had to admit. The peace and tranquillity that washed over his tense body was amazing. **Maybe that was what Liam had been looking for on the beach the previous evening. Liam could use a little tranquillity in his screwed up life** Lindsey brought his thoughts back to the matter at hand and immediately noticed that apart from the seagulls squawking overhead, the smooth golden sand looked almost deserted. Almost, but not quite. " Hey!" A familiar voice broke through the stillness and brought all thoughts of tranquillity to an end.. Raising his hand to cover his eyes from the rising sun, Lindsey watched as Liam jumped

down from a large rock formation, and walked swiftly towards him. "It's about time you showed up, it's freezing out here. I need to borrow your jacket?" Lindsay's mouth fell open and did a perfect impersonation of a goldfish as he watched Liam walk bare foot across the damp morning sand. In all the years he and Liam Angelus had know each other, Lindsey had never seen his best friend looking so dishevelled.... Or for that matter, so contented. With a dozen long strides, Liam covered the short stretch of sand that separated them. As he moved, his dark silk shirt flapped open around his shoulder and his designer trousers, which appeared to be covered in sand and dirt, were happily rolled half way up his shins. **He looks like a bloody tourist.** Lindsey eyes widened in amazement when his gaze took in the state of his best friend's hair. The gelled spikes were nowhere to be seen and he guessed, with an evil grin that it would take at least a dozen washes to remove all the sand that Liam had obviously been rolling in. Not that Liam seemed to care. The smile on his face was enough to light up the darkest night's sky. "Lindsey, I need your Jacket" Lindsay's eyes glanced to the size of Liam's arms and slowly shook his head. " Sure, but you realise it will never fit you" He replied as he slipped the brand new leather jacket from his shoulders and seriously considered trading in his best friend for a more considerate model. One that didn't call him out in the early hours of the morning and definitely one that didn't want to share his clothing. "Here, just try not to get it covered in sand" He reluctantly handed over the garment and then became even more confused as his soon to be ex best friend, turned, and without another word walked away. "Liam! What the Hell's going on? I thought you wanted a ride home?" Not breaking his stride Liam through the reply over his shoulder and left his bewildered friend scratching his head in wonder. "We do " Lindsey didn't have time to wonder for long, a few minutes later the confusion differed away when Buffy walked out of the rocks along side her husband, wearing his leather jacket.

Looking at her bare feet and similar dishevelled hair, the penny finally dropped and Lindsey roared out loud "I should have guessed" Buffy blushed and her cheeks flamed with embarrassment as she studied the handsome young man's face. She didn't remember anything about him but she immediately liked him and she sensed, from his good-natured grin, that he and her husband were definitely good friends. "Thanks for the jacket, I was beginning to turn a little blue around the edges" Buffy joked and tried to prevent her voice from showing how cold she really was feeling. It was a glorious morning but the sea breeze was still blowing enough to stop any real heat from warming her cool skin. The lawyer took a step forward and smiled "Hello Buffy, it's really good to see you again" His soft voice was sincere and Buffy immediately felt at ease. Lindsey watched as she pulled his jacket closer to her thin body and realised how cold she must have been spending the night waiting for the storm to pass. Not wanting either of his friends to catch a chill he cut off the reunion speeches and raising his hand, he indicated to his car "Come on, let's get you two home, you can give me all the fun facts later" Liam quirked an eyebrow and his friend knew at once that there was no way he would ever learn what really happened that night.. Not that it mattered. Just seeing Liam smile again was enough to make him happy. That, and a few more hours sleep. But, as the sun continued its rise in the early morning sky, the extra sleep he longed for seemed more and more unlikely. "I owe you." Liam said sincerely and tightening his arm protectively around Buffy's small shoulders he followed Lindsay to the car. At the promise Lindsey grinned. "I'll remind you of that the next time your sister comes to town" He replied happily. At the thought, a vision of Cordelia rose up and danced before his eyes, causing the smug grin he was wearing to double in size. **A date with Cordy was just what he needed** Lindsey would definitely be calling in that favour.

Dropping into the front seat, he twisted the key in the ignition and purposely turned his eyes away from the reunited lovers, now locking lips in the back. "You two *really* need to get a room" Lindsey laughed He was still smiling ten minutes later as he drove away from Revello Drive. ***** "Home sweet home" With a heart-felt thank you, and a promise that he wouldn't be late for court that afternoon, Liam watched his friend drive away. Once the car was out of sight, he wrapped his arm around Buffy's shoulders and guided her towards the steps of their house. **Home sweet home** As her husband's words slowly filtered into her thoughts Buffy looked up at the pretty white house and for the first time since the accident, she viewed the building with a completely new perspective. He was right, This really was her home and she was never going to leave it again. ****** With a small sigh, Buffy slipped the ruined dress from her shoulders and twisting her tiny hips slightly, she let the damp material pool at her feet in the middle of the bedroom floor. Stepping out of the garment, she quickly peeled off her bra and panties and with the flick of her wrist, the sand filled underwear quickly followed the dress into the waste paper basket. It was sad that all three items were less than a day old but Buffy knew they were all beyond repair. As she looked down at the overflowing wastepaper bin, the memory of Angel removing each garment brought a warm flush of colour back to her cheeks. She might only remember enough about her past to fill up a thimble, but the new memories they were creating certainly made up for the ones she had lost.. Well, almost. Standing still, she remembered the events of the last few hours and smiled. Their night together had been wonderful but as she ran her fingers over her pink skin, scratched from rolling in the sand, she knew that later she would be paying the price for being so reckless. Touching the tender flesh again, she silently made a note that the next time they rolled naked in the sand, she would remember to take along a blanket. **And if last night was anything to go by, there would certainly be a next time in the

very near future** Walking across the room with a large grin on her face, Buffy stopped and stood naked in front of the full-length mirror. Gazing down at her reflection, she was relieved to see that her petite body was slowly starting to show signs of gaining the weight she had lost over her four-month absence. Her figure was nowhere near the curvy shape it appeared in their wedding video but she realistically accepted that every new pound she added was a bonus. Buffy turned away from the mirror, she raised her hand and running her fingers through her hair, she cringed at the tangled mess beneath her fingertips. **I so need a shower** At the blissful thought of standing beneath a jet of hot soapy water, Buffy picked up the large fluffy towel she had earlier placed on her bed, and after securing it tightly around her breasts, she hurried back down the hallway. On reaching the bathroom, the sound of running water informed her that Liam had not only beaten her to the bathroom, he was still occupying the shower. Not able to wait another second, Buffy quietly opened the door and slipped silently inside the steamcovered room. As her eyes adjusted to the steamy haze, the sight that greeted her almost took her breath away. Although they had spent the best part of the night making love, the cave had been dark and the opportunity to get a good look at her husband's naked body had been limited. But now was an entirely different story. For the first time since her accident. Buffy could see the man she had married in the full light of day. **Gulp** Apart from the butterflies in her stomach, Buffy stood dead still, her mouth dry, and her heart thundering as she watched the naked silhouette through the misty glass door. The room was humid and as she stood nervously biting into her bottom lip, all she could smell was the scent of Liam's shampoo filling the air. She took her first deep breath and let the heady aroma flood over her senses. As Liam moved gracefully beneath the cloud of steam, Buffy was unable to drag her eyes away from his long naked form. She watched as the hot water crashed over his dark head, how it cascaded over broad shoulders, ran smoothly down his back and almost seemed to caress his firm buttocks before it faded from her sight. She swallowed the lump that rose in her throat but still didn't move. At the sight of his glistening tanned flesh, her small pink tongue slipped over her dry lips and the swirl of heat in the pit of her stomach ignited and seeped deep into her pelvis.

No wonder she found it so hard to breathe. Liam's hard lean body was pure poetry in motion. His shoulders were broad and like most of his body they were sculptured with sinewy muscles. He had a smooth chest, lean hips, muscled thighs and legs that seemed to.... Buffy sighed as her eyes continued their journey down his long wet legs and just for a moment, her mind imagined them twisted around her body. The image was electric and sent a hot delicious shiver right down to her toes. **Maybe I better have a cold shower** she smiled at the thought and quickly rejected the idea. No longer able to wait for her turn, she unwrapped the towel she was wearing and picked up a bottle of her own shampoo from the shelf. Buffy slid back the shower door and without making a sound, she slipped inside the small cubicle and closed the door behind her. **Maybe after being in hell the last few weeks there really was a heaven to be found on earth** She remembered the hell well enough, the darkness, the loneliness, the isolation of not remembering who she was, who they were. But now, standing in the warmth, feeling both safe and loved, maybe there was a heaven to be found on earth after all A rush of hot water crashed over her head as she lovingly slid her hands around her husband's waist and laid her cheek against his wet back. Closing her eyes, Buffy breathed in deeply as the water cascaded over her tired skin, slowly revitalising her weary flesh. He'd known she was there from the second the shower door had opened. Liam smiled at the feel of her small breasts brushing against his back and slowly turned around. For a moment he stood, just letting his hungry eyes roam over her beautiful body. After four long months of believing he would never see her again, It was like suddenly being hit by lightning. **She was really home ** Liam reached out his hand and turning a small dial on the wall, he adjusted the speed of the water crashing over their heads before closing the small distance between them. Buffy smiled up at him through the steam and reaching up a small hand, she ran her fingers lightly through the soap in his wet hair. "You were taking far too long" She tried to smile but there was simply too much heat in her eyes. With a soft moan, Liam reached out and drew her closer until their bodies were finally locked together, her breasts pushing up against the hard wall of his chest and her hips

pressed firmly against his, feeling the hard evidence of how much he wanted her. "So I got tired of waiting and though it might be fun to share" Her voice whispered suggestively and standing up on tiptoes, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her hungry lips to his mouth. While the sounds of lovemaking shook the air, the shower continued to spray water over the occupants inside it's four walls. Hot, warm, tepid. The lovers were still locked together when the water ran cold. Nothing was breaking them apart. ***** "Mmmmm. That was so nice" Buffy rolled on to her side and purred out a long satisfied yawn. Sliding her hand down the length of the bed, she found their forgotten sheet and with a sigh of contentment she pulled it up to cover her cooling body. "Nice?" Angel raised an eyebrow in amusement. Lowering his eyes, he watched the sheet cover her naked form and a small smile turned the corners of his lips when he felt her small warm body snuggle up against his side. **Nice?** Buffy tilted her head at the question and almost laughed at the pouting expression her lover wore across his face. "Nice?.. I only rate a *nice* now?" Liam's dark eyes glinted seductively as he teased. His fingers reached out and lazily toyed with a loose strand of her damp hair. Lowering his head, he dropped a soft kiss on Buffy's warm shoulder and felt a tiny shiver run right through his wife's body. "Want to try it again, maybe we could try something not so nice" He suggested with a grin Buffy's eyes widened "I was talking about the shower not...." She blushed as she heard a replay of her own words and then with a soft sensual smile, she reached out her hand and gently traced her fingertips across his lips.

"The shower was nice, being clean, dry and warm again is nice but you.. Leaning forward Buffy brushed her lips to his mouth and softly kissed her reply " You were perfect" She pulled away to gaze into his face and the gleam in his dark eyes told her all that she needed to know. He was teasing, he knew very well what she meant but he was enjoying the game. Buffy on the other hand was through with playing games. " You had me worried for a moment...."He started but the words were quickly lost when Buffy lowered her mouth back to his lips and slipped her tongue deep into his mouth for a long tender kiss.. Liam shivered with anticipation and the raw heat that swirled in the pit of his stomach flashed so intensely that it almost burnt him alive. He closed his eyes and without even realising it, he found himself almost praying **Please God, don't ever take her away from me again ** The though of losing Buffy again sent a bolt of terror straight through his heart. There were still so many unanswered questions between them and even though they had both promised to make a fresh start, Liam couldn't stop the fear flooding through him that maybe, one day, Buffy would leave his life again. Breaking the kiss he pulled back slightly to stare at her face and was almost choked with emotion. She looked so beautiful lying there. She was still slightly damp from the shower and her eyes; her eyes were shining with such raw passion it made him tremble. Liam breathed deeply and let her scent fill his senses. It flowed over his tired body in waves, invading his every nerve and fibre. "I can't tell you how many times in the last four months I've dreamt of this" His soft voice trembled as he opened up his battered heart and laid it open for the entire world to see. It had been easier in the cave. The storm and being trapped together had made the whole night seem almost surreal. But with the rising sun, came reality and now, lying side by side in their own bed, Liam suddenly felt scared to death that none of it was real. That he would wake any second to the buzzing of his alarm clock and find his bed empty and his life once again in shambles. Reaching out, he gently traced the soft curves of her face. "I love you, Buffy. Whatever happens in the future, if you remember your past or not, I just need you to hold on to that. Buffy's heart filled with joy and when she smiled, the passion in her sparkling eyes

changed to tenderness. She didn't get a chance to reply. With a soft moan Liam turned her in his arms, rolling her until she was beneath him. He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her neck, slowly licking his way along the smooth column of her throat. At the now familiar feel of his mouth on her breast, Buffy sucked in a deep breath and mewed in her throat. Her skin was on fire and it burned where ever his lips kissed her. She let her hands caress their way down his muscular back and dug her fingers into his hard buttocks. As her lover's body surged against her, Buffy felt the strength of his desire press harder. She insistently eased her thighs apart to take him and then twined her legs around his body. With a passionate sigh, Liam finally sank deep inside of her, filling her body almost to the point of pain. Feeling complete, she cried out his name, and as wave after wave of ecstasy flooded over her tired soul, the very last word on Buffy's mind, was *Nice*. With a final shudder of release the man she hadn't remembered, but already knew that she would love for the rest of her life, collapsed bonelessly on top of her. ***** "God! You were right," Wrapping her tightly in his arms Liam softly kissed Buffy's forehead and stroked her hair. "It was Perfect" He breathed deeply as the pounding in his chest started to slowly return to its normal level. "No arguments from me" Buffy sighed happily as she tried to bring her own breathing under control. The room fell quiet. For a few contented moments they lay there in silence, reluctant to untangle their sated bodies.. The curtains had been left open from the day before and the warm morning sun now fell in soft golden ribbons across their bed. Leaning into her husband's strong body, Buffy closed her eyes as a wave of exhaustion washed over her tired bones. "Before you fall asleep, I have something for you" Liam turned away for a moment and when he turned back, he held a small gold band between his long fingers. Buffy recognised it immediately. Her mind flashed back to the scene in the study and she

remembered the pain in Angel's eyes as he waited for her to remember why she had left him. She hadn't remembered removing the ring then and with a sad tug at her heartstrings, she still couldn't remember why she would have taken such a drastic action. "I thought you might like this back." She fell silent for a moment, then with trembling fingers; Buffy accepted the tiny circle and slipped it over the third finger of her left hand. It fitted perfectly. Laying her head against his muscular chest, she snuggled up against him, secure in the knowledge that she was no longer alone in this dark world. The darkness inside her head was still ever present but whatever demons it hid, Buffy knew they would now face them together. All thoughts of William Pennington and his sister were firmly pushed out of her head, at least for that night. Feeling his wife's hot breath sigh softly against his skin, Liam wrapped his arm around her, holding her tight. "I love you." His lips tenderly brushed a featherweight kiss to her hair as he watched her eyelids flutter, struggling against the forces of sleep. "I love you too." Buffy smiled at how easily the words slipped over her lips. " I'm so sleepy, - but I still want.." At the remark Liam looked astounded "What? You couldn't possibly.. Not that I wouldn't.." His long fingers danced lazy circles over her taut stomach, once again teasing every nerve ending into life. Buffy giggled at her husband's stamina and when she looked at him, she knew all the love she felt was shinning in her eyes. "No, no. I'm spent. You?" "For now." Liam smiled, but in his heart he knew he would never be truly spent where this woman was concerned. Their eyes met and held. "No, I - want to stay awake - so this day can keep happening. This is the best day of my new life, I want it to last forever" She tried to hide the tiny yawn that crept into her voice but as her eyelids fluttered, the exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours slipped over her face and reflected from her sleepy hazel eyes.

Liam could hardly reply he felt so relieved. "Sleep. We'll make another one like it tomorrow." His voice was little more than a whisper. Happy with his promise, Buffy sighed in contentment. She tangled her legs with his, tucked her head under his chin and finally letting out a small yawn, she rested her head against his warm chest. As the events of the last twenty-four hours took their toll, Buffy closed her eyes, and within minutes she was sleeping peacefully. Liam cradled her closer to him and tenderly kissed her head. "Sweet dreams" Without disturbing her slumber, he reached out his free arm and reset the alarm clock by his bed. He knew that if he were late for court that afternoon Lindsey would never forgive him. Liam then settled back against the pillow and tried to relax, but even as he closed his eyes he knew sleep wouldn't come. There were just too many demons running through his head. As his imagination kicked in, memories of his fight with Pennington returned to haunt him and the ugliness that they brought left a bitter taste in his mouth. **We don't have to worry about him anymore. William's promised to leave me alone, he's not going to cause us any more problems** Buffy seemed certain that their problems with the lovesick poet were now in the past but Liam didn't believe it for a second. If William loved Buffy as much as he proclaimed he did, he knew the lying little bastard would never give them a second's peace. He wouldn't worry Buffy for the world but he seriously suspected that their problems with Pennington were far from over. Exhausted, but not able to rest, Liam lay watching Buffy sleep for the next three hours before turning off the alarm clock and silently slipping away. ****** "Angel" Buffy cried out in terror as the fire that haunted her earlier dreams returned with a vengeance. It burned and scorched, as once again it's hot red tentacles licked all around her skin. Even fast asleep, she knew what would happen next, it never changed

Buffy reached out her hand and watched in horror as the once smooth texture of her tanned arm crinkled and blistered as it slowly melted from the bone. The heat was like a flaming stalker, it followed her every movement and it was still heading her way. No matter what she did, or how far she ran, she wouldn't escape it this time. Deep inside her nightmare, Buffy stood frozen as she watched the burning heat move ever closer, engulfing her in its hatred. **This time it will get you** A voice that she knew but couldn't quite place whispered out the warning. Only this time the words sounded more like a threat. Buffy watched the fire danced around her feet, licking it's way up her ankles and slowly burning her alive. **Run away and hide little girl** Pain bubbled up in her throat but when she tried to scream, she knew it was already useless... In the darkness of her mind there was no one there to hear her cry. **You should never have come back, Buffy.** **He doesn't love you. He never loved you** **You were never the cheat...** **He was** "ANGEL" Buffy sat up in her bed, her eyes widened in fear. The voice she was hearing was her past. It stood right outside the door of her mind now and with a blaze of pure hatred, it screamed to be let in. **Never send a boy to do a woman's job** Darla Penn stood on the rocks for more than an hour before finally tearing her drenched body away from its unobserved vantagepoint. Wrapped in a blanket of darkness, the shattered young woman felt as if her whole world had come to an end that night. All her hopes for the future appeared to have crashed and burned before her very eyes.

Darla's skin crawled and she felt truly sick to her stomach but, refusing to show so much as a sliver of weakness, the petite blonde quickly blinked back the tears of frustration that burned behind her eyelids. **Crying was for fools and for babies** She wasn't either. Ignoring the storm still raging high above Sunnydale as it tore violently into the dark velvet skyline, Darla turned silently from the cave's entrance but her exit from the beach was short lived. Not yet ready to deal with hard reality, her feet found their way to the water's edge and her toes sank deep into the cold wet sand. Closing her eyes, Darla couldn't prevent the memories of the last few days crashing over her tired body, almost physically attacking her small frame with the weight of their anger. Buffy's voice was the first to taunt her head, quickly followed by her brother's sad confession. **When Liam's around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. I don't remember him yet but I already know I still love him** **Darla. I need to find William, like yesterday** **Sorry, luv, but I've fucked up big time. Buffy knows I lied to her. She's out looking for Liam right now and when she finds him, it's all over**. With a violent crash of water, Darla's troubled mind was abruptly brought back to the present. She shivered, but the chill of the spray attacking her bare legs didn't bother her in the slightest. Neither the storm raging high in the sky above or the cold water splashing at her skin seemed to penetrate even the first layer of her senses that night. Filling her lungs with deep gulps of damp salty air, the lone female on the sand tried desperately to clear the confusion swimming around her head and contemplate her now uncertain future. **A future that until just a few hours ago included the man of her dreams and the words, happily ever after stamped right through it** "Happily ever after. What a laugh that was" Before Darla could even hear her own bitterness, the angrily whispered words were swept up by the wind swirling around her and blown far out to sea. Lost forever on the swollen tide. Not that she needed to hear words that night to feel the bitter pain of betrayal. The open tear in her battered heart was still very raw, and a constant ache for revenge screamed its

way through her blood stream with every new beat. Fighting back the anger Darla slowly brought her breathing under control by reminding herself of one sure thing. **No matter what she had just witnessed in that cave, her *happily ever after* wasn't over yet** Tilting up her wet face towards the sky, she watched in awe as a lightning bolt streaked its way across the infinite heavens, Mother Nature's violence and fury matching her own feelings to perfection. For a split second, the lightning's natural energy lit up the darkness, throwing a ghostly shadow across the silver sand and further highlighting the rage of the surf. And the rage in her heart. At that moment, the wind picked up, attacking her small frame but even as her pale skin started to tinge blue with the cold, Darla didn't feel the chill seeping into her bones. Her body was on fire. Her shattered heart fuelled with a lifetime of hatred, pounding in her chest until she was in serious danger of combusting. Lifting her thin arm against the driving rain, Darla swiped an annoying strand of wet hair away from her face, but she still didn't move away from the water's edge. Strangely, she took comfort from its anger, finding solace in its rage. As the violence from the storm washed over her, the deranged female allowed her twisted feelings of betrayal to slowly bleed into any sense of reason she might have once possessed. Once again Buffy had destroyed her one chance of happiness. Darla painfully twisted her fingers together as her thoughts returned to her childhood rival. Long months of scheming and planning had been ruined the second Liam had taken that bitch of a wife back into his arms. **Arms that should have been wrapped around her. Arms that would have been wrapped around her if only Buffy had stayed lost** Darla trembled again as the hatred she felt for Liam's wife, radiated out from every pore in her skin. She had spent her whole life living in Buffy's shadow, always coming in second place. It didn't matter what she did, or who she loved, Buffy was always there in front of her. Stealing the show.. Stealing her life.

But not this time. **It simply wasn't fair that Buffy Summers would win again** Darla sighed and closed her eyes. Everything had been going so well until, out of the blue, all of her hopes and dreams crumbled into dust. William's fight with Liam, and his confrontation with Buffy were bad enough, but this sickening reunion was almost the pink icing on a very sickly cake. Standing in the middle of the raging storm, Darla let the violence fuel her own anger and only one thought whispered in her head She really had no other choice now but to wipe out the plague that had blighted her life for more years than she wished to remember. The plague of Buffy Summers. **Buffy was a bug, an annoying little insect that continually gnawed at her flesh, and there only way to deal with bugs that wouldn't go away.** ** You exterminate them... Once and for all** Turning her head back towards the crashing waves that ripped across the soft pale sand, Darla stared so intensely into the violence of the sea, that the dark vision slowly blurred in front of her eyes. **Could she really kill Buffy?** The question repeated over and over, echoing deep inside her head with each thunderous roll of water. Her rival's face danced in front of her eyes. Laughing at her pain, taunting her stupidity. **Buffy wins again** Cutting out all other sounds from her mind, Darla let her imagination run wild. ** Could she really kill her rival in order to secure her own *Happily ever after* ?** **Sending the bitch away was one thing, but could she take her life?** **Could she kill for Liam?** After a few seconds a small smile curled the corner of the woman's cool lips. The answer was almost too easy.

"Yes. " Darla's voice was barely a whisper but the sea heard her answer and almost in response, it roared. ***** "Don't do anything stupid and try not to worry. I'll fix it. I did before and I'll do it again.. Trust me." Darla sighed deeply and regretted her decision to tell William the scene she had witnessed on the beach, the very second she put down the phone. Her brother had been devastated by the news that Buffy was once again sleeping with her husband and even though she couldn't see his face, Darla felt his tired spirit crack underneath the painful information. Trying to ignore the heartbreak she heard in his voice, the dripping wet woman had promised to call around as soon as she had showered and changed her clothes. They had plans to make. It really wouldn't be that difficult. Darla already knew Liam's agenda off by heart, she remembered that he would be in court most of the afternoon, leaving the vulnerable little wife at home all alone. Even before the receiver was placed back on its catch, Darla Penn's evil little mind was turning over the possibilities. If she was going to stop all of her dreams from slipping through her fingers, like sand through an hourglass, she and Will had to move fast **Buffy and Liam's sickening little reunion wasn't long for this world. One way or another, that marriage was over.** Darla smiled as she kicked off her wet clothes and stepped into a shower of hot water. Lathering her body and shampooing a beach full of sand from her tangled hair, she tried to block all negative thoughts from her head. William needed her to stay strong and in order to do that; she needed to stay positive. **After all, between them they had broken Buffy and Liam apart once before, there was no reason why they couldn't do it again.** **Okay, so William was feeling down but he would soon bounce back.** Darla knew her half brother too well; he had the same lust for life running through his veins that she did. Will was a romantic at heart but he wouldn't quit, he was a survivor, just like she was. **But what if he does throw in the towel. The lovesick fool really does have strong

feelings for the ex cheerleader. If the siblings couldn't split them apart, would he stand in her way? ** Darla shook the thought from her head. **Maybe it wouldn't do to tell William everything she had planned after all. ** ****** Two hours later. "What on earth are you doing?" Darla asked as her widened eyes swept over the devastation that had once been her brother's living room. The broken glass and splintered furniture from his fight with Liam was still scattered all around the once stylish room but it wasn't the destruction that caught Darla Penn's attention. Everywhere she looked, the room was scattered with personal belongings. Not even bothering to turn his head, William answered the question with hardly a trace of emotion in his voice. "What does it look like I'm doing? I've had as much as I can take of this bloody freak show. I'm going home" With a casual shrug of his shoulders, William threw open a large packing case and without even looking, he dropped the armful of shirts he was carrying into its depths. "Have you gone insane?" Darla quickly crossed the room and with a flash of anger, she slammed down the lid of the expensive packing case, preventing the pile of poetry books that her brother was now holding from being added to his shirts. "This. Is. Your. Home" Her voice was so cold it sent an icy chill right through the room. This was the last thing she had expected. William sighed deeply with frustration as the books he had been about to deposit tumbled down onto the closed lid and then bounced onto the floor. Without even looking at his sister he bent his knees and started to retrieve his property. "Darla, I'm through with this bloody town, its caused me nothing but aggravation" His voice was still quiet but the tone was now deadly serious. He simply couldn't carry on living like this. After receiving his sister's bad news about the state of Buffy and Liam's marriage, the poet's vivid imagination had run wild. Sinking to the floor of his broken home, all he

could see was his golden girl, laying naked in arms that weren't his. **Poetic justice really** **She was never really your girl** **It was never you** At first he had raged, breaking what was left of any still standing furniture. Glass, wood, marble, nothing was sacred as the anger in his blood flooded his body and he ripped loose with a vengeance. But the rampage didn't last for long, once the fury in his heart had burned out; all that was left was the pain. Sitting alone and feeling like a small child who had lost his favourite toy, for the first time in remembrance William Pennington cried. He cried for Buffy. He cried for what might have been if fate hadn't been such a cruel bastard. But in all honesty, as the tears rolled freely down his perfectly chiselled cheekbones, William cried for what he had become. **God, what have I done?** Finally, sated and exhausted, William took a real good look at his future and reluctantly accepted that the picture staring back at him wasn't Sunnydale. "I'm going home" ** William glanced back down at the book he was holding in his hands and after reading its flowery title, he decided that he wouldn't take the romantic reminders with him after all. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally. As the emotions attacking his heart flicked across his swollen face, he silently swore that he was finished with love and all the pain it had brought him. For a second he actually meant it He remained silent and as Darla watched the emotions flicker across his face, she started to panic slightly. "And what about Buffy?" She asked, trying to keep her voice calm. A painful shudder went through William. Darla's words sliced through the poet's misery and his broken heart clenched deep in his chest. Just the sound of her name caused the blood in his veins to run icy cold. Lifting his

badly swollen eyes for the first time, William stared into his sister's face with a look of disbelief. "Are you taking the piss? You made it perfectly clear that Buffy and that bastard she married are screwing each other again..." The pain in his eyes almost took her breath away. But it wasn't the pain that made her worry. It was the look of defeat that bled into it Feeling her gaze sweep over his darkening bruises, William turned away. Slowly standing to his feet, his tired eyes swept around for the half empty bottle of scotch he had earlier placed by his packing case. "Do you want a drink?" He asked holding the amber bottle in one hand and twisted the lid with the other. Darla shook her head. The solution to their problems wasn't going to be found at the bottom of a whisky bottle. William shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself" "That's not going to help." "Yeah, well I happen to think it just might." Not bothering with a glass, William gulped the burning liquid straight from the bottle. The first mouthful stung as it found the small cuts inside his mouth and as much as he hated to admit it, Darla was right, It didn't matter how much of the stuff he poured down his throat, it wasn't a magical cure, it wouldn't make Buffy love him. No matter how much he drank, It wouldn't take away the pain or the continuous ache in his chest, but if nothing else, it would numb it for a while. That had to be better than nothing. William desperately needed something to help him forget. Something to help him move on before the feelings inside him burned and consumed him until there was nothing left. "It's over, Darla. " He continued, no longer disguising the fact that his heart was broken and his pride was ripped to shreds. He really couldn't play this game any more, because there was only so much pain a person could stand before it sent them insane. William understood only too well that he had crossed the line with Buffy the night before and standing there in the cold light of day, he knew that nothing they did could ever fix this mess now. Darla on the other hand didn't want to see the cold light of day; Darla didn't want too see

any negativity at all. "No.." The word tore from her lips like an explosion. "We can still do this. Last night you were begging me to help you and now you want to run back to London with your tail between your legs.. It's not going to happen that way. It's time you grew a backbone little brother" He jerked as if she had physically hit him. Darla felt a knot of fear in her chest grip tight but the pained expression that slipped into William's sad blue eyes indicated that she had hit her mark. William raised his hand to his face and when his fingers touched the dark purple bruise on his jaw, he winced in pain. It was true, he had spent the whole night plotting how he could turn this mess around and make Buffy understand that he was the only chance she had for a happy life. But Darla's revelations about the fuckfeast on the beach had destroyed his last remaining hope. He had to get away, he was simply too tired of playing Darla's games and of finding himself on the losing side. "Why don't you just give it a bleeding rest, Darla. I should never have agreed to this crap in the first place and I'm not staying around Sunnydale to get my bloody heart cut out day after day." Anger flashed across his face. Sunnydale was too small a town to hide in and there was no way he was going to watch Buffy and Liam playing happy families everyday. Ignoring the outburst, Darla pushed the contents of a leather armchair onto the floor and dropped into the seat "I can still make this happen for us. I'm so close, i just need a little more time" Her fingers played nervously with the folds of her skirt.. William looked at his sister and for the first time he thought about her sadness. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he slowly crossed the room and crouched down in front of her. Taking his sister's small hand between his large fingers, he softly rubbed her skin. "No, luv, you were never close. Look, do yourself a favour and give it up. Come back to England with me because Buffy will never leave him now. I know it and in your heart, you know it as well" His sad eyes sought hers and they held for a moment. For a split second William thought he was breaking through her denial but the moment passed and when Darla met his eyes again, she smirked.

"Well maybe its time to stop playing games and get rid of the little bitch once and for all" William shook his head and sighed heavily. **Darla and her schemes** Keeping his voice as free from emotion as possible, even though it was an effort to do so, he continued in a quiet tone. "You tried that once before and it failed. You sent her running and look where it got us, she came right back. Don't you understand, pet. As long as Buffy can breathe she will always find her way back to Liam" The resentment at the simple fact once again tore deeply into the poet's heart. **As long as Buffy can breathe she will always find her way back to Liam** Darla's smirk grew wider as her brother's words mirrored her own earlier thoughts "Stopping her from breathing? Good idea little brother. That works just fine for me." William rolled his eyes at the ridiculous notion. "Stop being so dramatic" Pushing away from her, he stood up again and turned away. This conversation was going nowhere. Darla rose from her chair and followed him. A war of emotions raged within her as she slowly walked across the room. "I'm not being dramatic, I'm just saying, maybe it's time I got rid of the bitch once and for all" William spun around and grabbed her arm. His dark blue eyes were like pinpoints, boring into her flesh. Darla opened her mouth to protest, but clamped it shut as her brother's gaze drilled into every inch of her face, hunting for the real meaning behind her words. "If you so much as touch a single hair on her head, I'll make you sorry you were born" His gaze darkened and the promise was very real. Darla swallowed the slight lump that had risen in her throat and almost as an act of defiance, she lifted her chin. "Now who's being all dramatic?" She smirked and a flicker of playful mischief danced across her cool eyes. William knew that look only too well. Dropping her arm he slowly backed away.

When he spoke again it was in a deadly quiet voice. "I mean it, Darla." To cover her frustration, Darla changed the smirk on her face into a full-blown smile. "And when did you become so damn righteous, it never bothered you the last time. You were happy to help then." Turning away from his sister, William's eyes searched the wreckage of his home for a bottle of anything that would numb his pain. He was sobering up far too quickly and the agony in his head was pounding. "In point of fact, you were MORE than happy to help last time" Darla continued, cruelly pushing her point home. Forgetting his need for alcohol, William's eyes filled with guilt as he remembered only too clearly how he had helped destroy Buffy's once perfect life. Watching his body tremble at the memories Darla continued. "I might have set the stage little brother but you led the audience right to her seat" She smirked and knew she had scored an important point. Walking closer, Darla laid a hand on his tense arm, but he shook her off, deliberately moving away from her William closed his eyes, acknowledging her words. He didn't need her to remind him. He'd lived with that little deception for the last four months. "And what did it get me? Your bloody plan worked too well, Darla. Buffy ran and I lost her." The anger was gone from his voice. Sadness and regret had replaced it. "Sending her away won't help me this time. I can't go with her... She doesn't love me" His voice trailed off in remembrance. "Then we might be both better off with her out of our lives once and for all" This time Darla didn't even bother to hide the hostility in her voice. William's jaw tightened and his skin drew flat over his features. His gaze darkened but Darla stared right back at him, not backing down "I can't let you hurt her. I love you, pet, you're my only family, but I won't let you hurt Buffy". A sliver of fear clouded his eyes at the thought his little sister might actually be serious. Darla looked into her brother's face and wished she could shake some sense into him.

Somewhere over the last few weeks, he'd changed from the ruthless young man she had always known to a sickly lap dog. The look disgusted her. It was the same look it had taken her weeks to remove from Liam's face after Buffy first fled. **Men** Darla knew better than to continue in that direction, the last thing she needed was William spoiling her plans. She wanted his help not his hindrance. With a forced smile to her lips she moved closer to him again and placed a hand back on his arm. He stayed still this time, their eyes locking in understanding "Okay, okay. I won't touch a hair on the cheerleaders head, I promise" William's head lowered, resting against her forehead. "I really worry about you sometimes. Darla come back to England with me, just for a few months until this all dies down." The anger was gone from his voice. William's hand gently stroked her back. She might act like a cold heartless bitch but at the end of the day she would always be his sister and, for all her faults, he would always love her. Pulling slightly away, Darla looked into his tired swollen eyes and tried one last time. "You know I can't do that. Stay here and help me. I have a great idea that will split them apart once and for all. Please Will, I need you.." William shook his head and ignored the pain the jerky movement created. "If I thought for one second that I could really have Buffy, I'd march into Hell and sell my soul to the devil himself, but it doesn't work that way. We tried, we lost. His voice rose, frustrated, his whole body vibrating with the pain of defeat "I can't do this without you" Darla's voice rose as well, frustration stiffening her body. At any other time in his life, Darla's pleading would have melted his resolve, but not today. William Pennington was simply too tired of picking up the pieces of his broken heart and shoving them back into his chest. He had no choice this time. He had to get as far away from Sunnydale as possible. Neither spoke and the room fell deadly silent while the two lost siblings struggled with their own inner turmoil. In the end it was William's soft voice that broke through the stillness. "I'm on the midnight flight to London. If you change your mind you are always welcome to join me" Darla sighed and shook her head.

"I can't. I can't give up Liam; I have to try one last time. I can still make it right" She replied sadly, still refusing to admit defeat. William tried one last time to make his sister see sense. "You're a fool Darla. Don't you understand, yet? It's too late to make it right. The past has a way of catching up with us, we can't change what we did and we can't make it right" He took a breath before continuing with his last words on the subject. "This can only end in tears" The words were so low that she had to strain to hear them When they finally registered, Darla merely nodded, her face expressionless "I know.. " she turned her head and knowing it was useless to continue the argument, she started for the door. Walking away, her final words were missed by the dejected young poet "There will be tears all right.... But they won't be mine"

**The past always has a way of catching up with us ** William Pennington. Four months earlier The past catching up.

It was a Friday. The sun, already hot and hazy in a cloudless blue sky, streamed through the kitchen windows in soft golden waves. The aroma of coffee teased the warm morning air and, in the corner of the room, an almost forgotten radio gave traffic and weather reports every fifteen minutes. In all respects, the start of a perfectly normal day. "Buffy, have you seen my case? I'm sure I left it on the table last night and now it's just vanished" Walking into the kitchen, Liam ran his hand through his spiky hair and, checking his wristwatch, inwardly groaned. He was now running seriously behind schedule and, at this rate, it was almost a certainty that he would miss his breakfast meeting with Lindsey. ** This is getting a habit, Angelus. You're always late these days** He didn't need to be a mind reader to know the very first words his friend would greet

him with. Lindsey was like a broken record at times. At the thought of the other lawyer's disapproving face, Liam bit back the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. ** It was true, he was never on time these days, but It wasn't as if he didn't have a perfectly good reason for being late that morning, or any other morning for that matter** Making love with Buffy took preference over a boring business meeting any day. Well, at seven o'clock in the morning it did. Not that Lindsey would see it that way. Liam smiled again. The trouble with Lindsey McDonald was that he needed a wife, someone to tie him down and domesticate him once and for all. For Liam, being married to the right person was the most wonderful experience in the world, a fact that his best friend Lindsey sadly seemed to miss out on. **Just because you found the perfect woman doesn't mean that there's one out there for all of us. Unless of course you feel like putting in a good word with that gorgeous sister of yours for me** Lindsey was always joking about his feelings for Cordelia, his so-called unrequited love, but Liam suspected that the feelings went a whole lot deeper than he really let on. **Maybe it was time for his best friend and his sister to...** As a mental image of the two in question flashed into his mind, Liam shook his head, knowing that the pairing would probably be a match made in hell. Cordelia and Lindsey were too alike in far too many ways. Lindsey needed somebody like Buffy, Liam reflected, and then immediately realised the flaw in that little scenario. **There is nobody else in the world like Buffy, you fool** With a nod of acceptance, he turned his head and let his dark eyes run hungrily over the woman that occupied his whole world. His gaze softened as it caressed every inch of her small frame and he smiled tenderly at his wife. **No, there really was only one Buffy Anne Summers and he thanked God daily, for finding her and for loving her** "It's 9.15am and the weather here in Sunnydale is set to break all records for this time of year" Liam snapped out of his reverie when the radio in the corner of the kitchen announced a time check, and with a groan, everyday reality came crashing back down on his shoulders. **Meeting. Case. Lindsey.... Now very late** "Dammit" he silently muttered the curse under his breath. Tucking the back of his shirt in his suit pants, Liam cast his eyes around the room, once more searching for the missing

case. It was there the night before and unless it had suddenly grown feet and walked away, it should still be there. Scratching his head and bending over, he searched underneath the table with little success. "I'm sure I put it on this table" From the other side of the kitchen, Buffy smiled, and after dragging her gaze away from her husband's muscular behind, she pointed to where Liam had left the case in question. The small briefcase was lying up against the wall just inside the doorway. With a grin, Buffy realised that he must have walked past it at least three times in his earlier search. **If it had had teeth it would have bitten him, he was that close.** Following her direction, Liam quickly crossed the room and with a slight sigh of relief, he snatched up the black leather case. "Thanks sweetheart, McDonald would really have my head if I'm late AND left these papers behind." he said as he flipped the catch and quickly confirmed that all the documents he needed for court that afternoon were neatly filed away. While her husband was immersed in legal papers, Buffy turned back to the kettle and, switching it off, poured the hot water into two bone china cups. Angel might not have time for breakfast that morning but there was no way she was letting him leave the house without at least drinking one cup of coffee with her. Lindsey would just have to wait a little longer. Opening the fridge door, Buffy removed a small carton of milk and tearing off the top, she carefully poured the contents onto the steaming liquid in her cup. As the dark rich coffee changed colour, she stirred in a sweetener and walking over to where Liam was still busily shuffling papers, Buffy placed the coffee cup down on the table next to him. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I bumped into Darla yesterday at the hair salon. She told me to say hello to you and Lindsey and then proceeded to bore me to tears for the next hour about her sick new love life." At the re-lived memory, Buffy rolled her eyes in quiet disgust before continuing. "It seems that she's now boinking some married man and would you believe it, his sad pathetic wife has absolutely no idea". Running a hand through her newly highlighted hair, Buffy snorted at the memory and took a sip from her coffee cup. Darla had sounded so smug that afternoon in the hair salon, gloating over the wife in question's stupidity, that Buffy had felt an overwhelming urge to wipe the look off the slut's face and shove her head right under the scalding faucet. In all the years the two women had know each other, nothing had ever changed where Darla was concerned. Darla was never content with anything in her life, always trying to see if the grass was really greener on the other side. Of course it wasn't, but Darla Penn would never accept

that. For some strange reason, every relationship she had ever ventured into had failed miserably, leaving others to pick up the pieces. **And now she's moving on to married men** "I don't get it. How could the wife be so blind?... So stupid?" Buffy asked the question more to herself, knowing that she would never put up with a cheating husband. Without consciously trying, a picture of her Aunt Jenny slipped easily into her mind and she remembered the heartache her family had suffered many years earlier. Jenny Calendar's husband Rupert, the love of her life, had run off with a girl years younger, leaving the poor woman suicidal at her loss. Although she was only a slip of a girl at the time, Buffy remembered only too clearly visiting her aunt in hospital one sunny afternoon, after she had *accidentally* fallen on glass and cut both of her wrists. Watching the life drain from the once vibrant woman, the young Buffy Summers had promised that she would never find herself in that situation. That level of betrayal was unforgivable. **Poor aunt Jenny. Poor stupid aunt Jenny** Buffy took a deep breath and wiped the unhappy memory from her head. Besides, it wasn't like she needed to worry on that score. Angel had never once caused her any reason to believe that she wasn't his whole world. In all the time they had known each other, her husband had never once looked at another woman. Buffy took another sip of her coffee "And can you say implants. Could those breasts look any more fake if she tried?" Again, she muttered the sarcastic thought more to herself than her husband. Not that he seemed to notice. "Sorry, Buffy. What did you say?" Liam was too busy looking through the papers in his briefcase to catch much of the conversation. Noticing his coffee cup for the first time he snatched a quick mouthful before turning to his wife. "I said I saw Darla Penn in town yesterday and she said to say hello." At the mention of the other woman's name, her husband closed his briefcase with a click and frowned. "Honey, I'm sorry, I know that she's a friend of yours but that woman drives me crazy." Liam pulled his jacket from the back of a chair and started to slip his arm through the long sleeve. As his hand checked for his wallet, the frown creasing his handsome features seemed to grow. "I can't even remember how many restraining orders she's taken out against that ex boyfriend of hers. Darla is a real magnet for trouble these days." Picking up his keys from

the table, he slipped the bunch into his jacket pocket. "She might be a great client financially, but Lindsey is so sick of her antics that he won't have anything more to do with her case, and now every time she has a problem, I'm the poor sucker who has to deal with it. I think its time that she and that fool of a brother found a new law firm" At the mention of Darla's brother, the frown on Liam's face had morphed into a full grown scowl Buffy chuckled. He looked so sweet when he was ranting "It's not funny. Besides, I think she has a crush on me" Buffy arched one eyebrow at him and her eyes twinkled. "Well, she did say she has a thing for married men these days. Do you want me to beat her up? I did it once before. We were five" She grinned, and the memory of Darla's split lip and angry red face slipped its way into her mind. The first of their many fights and disagreements over the years. This time Liam laughed. The thought of his wife protecting his honour was adorable "No, honey, I don't want Darla taking a restraining order out on you" He replied and tilting his head slightly, he softly kissed the tip of her nose. Buffy shrugged her small shoulders. "That's okay, if she did I know this great defence lawyer who will come running to my rescue" Her tone was playful and her bright hazel eyes glinted with mischief. Reaching out his hand Liam brushed a loose strand of hair away from his wife's face and marvelled at how much he loved her. His fingertip ran over her cheek, gently stroking the soft skin. He grinned, but then grew serious. "I'll always come to your rescue," Liam whispered huskily, brushing her mouth with a light kiss. For a moment the air seemed to crackle between them. Buffy tried to keep a straight face but when she finally spoke, there was a giggle in her voice as she teased again. "Actually, I talking about Lindsey... but thanks for the offer" Liam rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'll tell Lindsey that he has a new client as soon as I see him.." he teased back, then glancing at his watch and realising the time, he added, " That's if I ever get there. You are such a bad influence on me"

Picking up his case, he headed towards the front door but just as his hand reached the door handle, he paused and turned. All traces of their earlier teasing were gone. Their eyes met and held. " I love you" Liam smiled softly, reluctant to leave. Buffy smiled back at him with eyes overflowing with the same emotion. In less than a heartbeat, she crossed the distance separating them and reaching up on tiptoes Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, winding her fingers in his hair. "I love you too" Dropping his case silently to the floor, Liam nuzzled his face against her hair, breathing in the fragrance of her shampoo. Feeling her body press even closer, his large hands splayed over her back, the heat of his long fingers seeping through the thin cotton of her robe. Buffy sighed softly and beneath the thin material, her skin quivered as his hands started to caress her. With a slight groan, all thoughts of work, Lindsey McDonald and court cases were forgotten. Placing a finger under Buffy's chin, Liam tilted her face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm the raging fire that always burnt through his body when ever he touched his wife's skin. His lips brushed hers once, twice, before his tongue slowly gave into temptation and slipped effortlessly into her mouth. The kiss was long, deep, and exquisitely tender. On ly when Buffy broke away did Liam open his eyes. His breathing was as ragged as hers. "Angel" his pet name was a soft sigh "You have to go to work" Reluctantly, Liam nodded. He touched a finger under her chin again and lifted her gaze to his. Bringing his breathing under control, he pouted his bottom lip for a second but then his whole face broke into a wide grin. Buffy returned his smile with one that sent a shiver right down his spine. The smile was his undoing. They might have been married for two years but when his wife looked at him like that, Liam Angelus was lost. Hopelessly lost. "Lindsey is waiting" Buffy breathed deeply and knowing one of them had to make the first move, she took a small step back.

"I know. There really is no rest for the wicked" Liam's voice spoke but his eyes continued to tell her that work was really the last thing on his mind. **Besides, he was already late, what would a few more minutes matter** With a devilish smile, Liam reached out his hand and pulled his wife back into his empty arms. *** Fifteen minutes later.

Buffy stood on the doorstep and waved her fingers in a final goodbye. On reaching his car, Liam glanced back over his shoulder and their eyes met and held one last time. "Don't forget about our deal. Dinner at eight thirty sharp" **Because Cordelia's going to be here all weekend, how about I spoil you tonight instead. A romantic dinner for two, followed by a night at the Bronze. What do you think?** **Throw in a night of red hot sex and you have a deal** Liam nodded. The image of dinner, a night at the Bronze and Buffy's promise of red-hot sex was not going to leave his mind for the rest of the day. "I. Love.You" he mouthed the words silently and not waiting for a reply, Liam quickly slipped into his car. In the clear blue sky above, the bright morning sun was burning down in golden yellow rays but as the car pulled out of the driveway, Buffy shivered and pulled her robe closer to her body. She didn't understand why, but for just a moment, she felt an unexplainable sadness cover her soul. Shaking off her stupidity, she watched her husband's dark convertible pull into the street and didn't move until all sight of the vehicle had faded from her view. ***** Later that night Hearing the sound of a car pulling up outside her window, Buffy dropped the brush she

was using to style her hair and taking a quick glance in the bedroom mirror, she headed down the stairs and threw open the front door with a relieved smile. "Where on earth have you been? I was starting to get worried...." On confronting her visitor, the smile that curled the corners of Buffy's lips slipped a little with disappointment. Not only was it not Liam standing in front of her, but her husband was now seriously overdue and the way things stood, they would never make the restaurant in time. **So much for dinner, dancing and hot sex** The smile on her face slipped a fraction more and by the time she fully accepted that the night was almost certainly a write off, what was left of the greeting now resembled a frown. Pushing back her disappointment and realising her bad manners, Buffy turned her attention back to her visitor and tried to reinsert the smile as best she could. " Sorry, I thought you were Liam" Dressed all in black, William Pennington stood silently on the doorstep. When Buffy returned the smile to her face, he took a slow breath to hide the tension swirling inside his stomach and debated one final time how he was going to handle their confrontation. Not that he didn't already know. Will had rehearsed this scene in his head all afternoon and nothing was allowed to go wrong. Nerves pushed aside, his face broke into a shy smile. "Hello Buffy. May I come in?" Unable to keep up the pretence that she was happy to see him for more than a few seconds, Buffy frowned again, still disappointed that the man standing on her front porch was not Liam and that all her plans for their night lay in ruins. She shook her head reinforcing her point. "William, this is really a bad time for me, Liam should be here at any moment, we have a table booked for eight" slightly panicked, the flustered young woman knew it was only a small lie but he didn't need to know that. The table was booked for eight thirty but the sooner she got rid of her unwanted guest, the better. Raising her eyes, Buffy nervously glanced over his shoulder, fearing that if Liam pulled up now and saw Pennington waiting at his door, there would be hell to pay. Although she once considered the young English poet her friend, It was no secret that he and her husband disliked each other immensely. William Pennington had been a great help with the gallery over the last year but for some unknown reason, Liam had taken an instant dislike to the cocky, brash Englishman. When it got to the point where the two men couldn't even be civil to each other, in the same room, Buffy had reluctantly distanced herself from the friendship. It was the only time in her marriage when she and her husband hadn't agreed. Lifting her head, Buffy's eyes returned to her unexpected visitor. This time the

seriousness in his expression caused a small shiver to slide the length of her spine. For a heartbeat or two he didn't respond. Then, tilting his head slightly to the side, William's cool blue eyes swept over her face but his expression still refused to give anything away. "That's why I'm here, pet. Get your coat, you really need to see this" At his cool words, the already alarmed young woman felt her stomach drop into free-fall. **There was something wrong here, something seriously wrong ** Before Buffy could further protest, her unwanted visitor's long legs moved over the doorstep and carried him into the hall. Shocked by his behaviour Buffy turned. "Has there been an accident? Is it Liam?" There was a real tinge of panic in her tone as her frantic mind ran with a dozen different scenarios. **Liam in hospital. Liam lying in the wreckage of his car. Liam de..** Buffy shut the last thought right out of her head telling herself that she would know if something really bad had happened. If her lover were really hurt she would have felt it. Ignoring the man standing in her hallway, Buffy reached for the phone and punched in the digits to her husband's cell phone. After a few agonising moments she realised it was switched off. Turning her head back to her blonde visitor, her worried face demanded answers "Buffy..." William hesitated, his eyes shadowing for a second, his emotions still unreadable. Ploughing his hand through his short bleached hair, the handsome young man shook his head. He had to keep her guessing, build the suspense. It was cruel but it was necessary. "There's not been an accident but you really do have to come with me, luv. I have to show you something" He moved closer, slowly. One step at a time he closed the distance between them, his liquid blue eyes never leaving her bewildered features. As much as she hated to admit it, Buffy found herself becoming intrigued. With the front door left wide open, a cold breeze swept through the entrance and brushed its evening chill over her bare arms. Buffy shivered and as her skin prickled with goosebumps, she remembered the feeling of trepidation she had experienced on the doorstep that very morning.

"William, please. You're frightening me" Making no attempt to close the door, she ran a hand through her hair, tucking an escaped strand behind her ear Pennington watched the woman he adored closely and with each beat of his lonely heart, he ached for her. Her silky golden hair, freshly washed, hung in soft curls around her slim shoulders and the slight aroma of her perfume floated between them and seeped into to his hungry senses. Hardly moving a muscle, William remained silent as his imagination undressed her petite body and the crotch of his black denim jeans suddenly felt uncomfortably tight. He'd waited months for this moment. Months of waiting to destroy Liam Angeuls' marriage once and for all. William hated Liam with a passion and even if he hadn't fallen in love with Buffy at first sight, he would have happily done anything in his power to teach the young arrogant lawyer a lesson. He and Liam had a real score to settle and taking Buffy away from the bastard was the icing on the cake. When Darla had first broached the subject of breaking up the happy newlyweds, William had been dead against the idea. He couldn't bear to see the girl he had fallen so badly for, being that unhappy. It was only after a jealous Liam intervened and prevented Buffy from even being his friend that everything changed. **If you so much as go near my wife one more time, I'll send you all the way back to the Mother country in a wooden box** A wave of undiluted hatred rose up and washed over William at the memory. Tonight was payback. Not only would he finally be with the woman he loved, but also, by the time he and Darla had finished this little masquerade, Buffy would hate Liam with ever fibre of her body for the rest of her life. **Aunt Jenny.. Thank God for Aunt Jenny** Tearful over her mother's death one afternoon, and Liam being away in new York for a week, Buffy had confided in him that it was also her aunt's birthday and then related the story of how the poor unfortunate woman had met her death. Ever the sensitive soul, William held her, patted her back and carefully stored the information away for a rainy day.. It didn't take long to rain. Darla had danced for joy when, drunk and depressed, the poet had let the story slip three months later. **So poor little Buffy had issues with abandonment, what a shame.. Especially as I'm just the person to manipulate them.** Once Darla' plan was hatched, her brother changed his mind and jumped on board with a

vengeance. If there was going to be a separation between the Angelus', he might as well benefit. And now, after all their hard work and planning, the benefits were just about to come home. While William reminisced, Buffy waited, her eyes narrowing with suspicion but the blonde poet wasn't volunteering any more information. "Come on, we need to hurry" He reached out a hand and snatched up her jacket Buffy felt uneasy leaving the house but knew she had no other choice. Her husband was seriously overdue, his cell phone was switched off and the only person who seemed to know anything about his disappearance was standing right in front of her. Torn, she let out a heartrending sigh. Nothing made sense. Buffy then lifted her hand towards the short leather jacket but didn't quite make contact. When William felt her momentarily hesitate, he slipped his hand under her elbow and swiftly propelled her towards his waiting car. His grip was warm and firm and Buffy moved without question. "You have to see this for yourself, pet" Opening the car door for her, he spoke quietly, but his angular face was still void of all emotion. Almost on autopilot, Buffy merely nodded her agreement and slipped into the passenger's seat of the dark DeSoto. For the first ten minutes they drove in complete silence. The car moved out of Ravello drive and was soon heading through the town. Buffy shifted uncomfortably on the seat, turning her head slightly, her eyes wondered to William's face. It was freshly shaven but his eyes looked tired, and he seemed tense, as if he couldn't fully relax. "I wish you would just tell me what this is all about" Buffy asked quietly when they pulled up for a red light. The faint clamour of warning bells drifted into her mind again and the uneasy feeling that had started earlier now knotted in the pit of her stomach. William turned his head and stared as her sweet voice broke through the silence. A rush of longing flooded through his veins as his hungry blue eyes swept over her pale features. In the dim light, Buffy looked so breathtakingly young and beautiful that all thought of the deception he was leading her to was temporarily forgotten. For an insane moment, he yearned to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything would be all right, that he would take care of her. But, as much as he longed to hold her, he knew it would spoil everything. **God, this is hard** William's increasing heartbeat thundered through his chest as he watched Buffy slide her

tongue nervously across her bottom lip and he felt his lower body stir with a speed that seriously shocked him. **Bide your time you horny fool. After tonight she's all yours** "We'll be there in a few minutes, Buffy" His voice was low. Turning his gaze back to the road and away from the temptation of her lips, he gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white from the pressure. The traffic lights then thankfully changed to green and the car swiftly moved away without another word. An array of buildings flashed by unnoticed. The coffee shop, the Sun cinema, Buffy's gallery. Putting his foot down, Will tried to remove all romantic thoughts of Buffy from his mind. He swung the car effortlessly into Crawford Street and drove straight for the mansion. Buffy realised where they were going immediately, she had heard from Darla that her brother had finished the conversions on the once abandoned building and the renovations were said to be spectacular. Not that she had ever been inside. When William pulled up outside the main entrance, Buffy raised a suspicious eyebrow. "This is your home?" He ignored the question and went straight for the kill. "Buffy, I hate being the one to do this but its bloody wrong, what they're doing to you, it's not right." There was a slight tint of anger in his voice but also something else, something far too intimate. Buffy frowned, but her curiosity piqued by his outburst "They?" she paused for a moment, trying to make sense this new information. Suddenly there was a *they* in the equation and that one little word filled her with new terror. "Will, I don't understand" She felt her throat tighten but not wanting to show any more fear than was necessary, she shoved the feeling aside. "Just go on in, the door's open." He switched off the engine but made no attempt to move. When Buffy turned back to face him there was a lingering uneasiness in the look she that gave him but, annoyingly, he still kept his face expressionless. **This will only hurt her for a little while and then life will be better, for all concerned...

well, apart for Liam** Pushing down any trace guilt, the blonde man justified his actions. William then removed a packet of cigarettes from his jacket pocket; he put one to his lips and flicked open his lighter. Pulling smoke deep into his lungs he watched as Buffy pushed open the DeSoto's passenger door and slipped out of the car. Turning back for a second, their eyes met and held one last time. Trusting hazel blending with treacherous blue but neither spoke. Buffy moved slowly up the steps, she hesitated just inside the doorway, and it was a real relief for William when her attention was suddenly distracted. At the sound of familiar voices coming from further down the hall, Buffy's body went taut. She couldn't make out exactly what they were saying but she was already starting to get suspicious. When curiosity finally got the better of her, her feet moved slowly, silently following the sounds until she reached the large living room door. Coming to rest in the doorway, the light from a single lamp cast the room in soft shadows but she could still see the figures perfectly. She could now see and hear everything perfectly Buffy suddenly couldn't breath. Her mouth fell open and utter disbelief etched deeply into the contours of her face. Unable to form speech she watched in horror as the scene being played out before her unfolded. Although the male occupant in the room appeared partially dressed, Darla Penn flounced around in nothing but a thin silk bathrobe. Her long blonde hair was loose around her shoulders and her face flushed with excitement "I can't do this any more. You have to stop it, honey, I need you to put an end to this nightmare once and for all." William Pennington's sister sounded almost hysterical. "Calm down, it will be alright. I'll do what ever it takes. I won't leave you" Buffy couldn't see his face but she was in no doubt that the male in the room was Liam. At that point Darla threw her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. His arms immediately went around her waist, pulling her closer. **I bumped into Darla yesterday at the hair salon. She told me to say hello to you and Lindsey and then proceeded to bore me to tears about her sick love life. It seems she's screwing some married man and his pathetic wife has no idea** **Buffy, I hate being the one to do this but its bloody wrong, what they're doing to you, it's not right**

Buffy's earlier words crashed over her like a tidal wave of pure fury. Cold fear gripped her heart as she realised who Darla's married lover was. **Who the stupid pathetic wife was** Unable to even breathe, she froze in the doorway as her heart shattered into a million painful shards of betrayal. **Her husband and her school friend** If she hadn't witnessed the deception with her own two eyes she would never have believed it. Darla maybe, but not Liam, not her Angel. Angel would never do this to her. Except that he was. Angel was reaching for the cheap bitch and pulling her into his arms right in front of her. His hand, the same hand that had caressed her own body that very morning, was now gently stroking Darla's back. His lips whispering against her hair. **The same lips that had whispered to her** **I love you, Buffy** **I love you, Buffy** **I love you, Buffy** **I love you, Buffy** **I love you, Buffy** "Liar. Liar Liar" Buffy's lips moved but the words she wanted to scream across the room, stayed locked deep inside her head. She tried to close her eyes to block out the sight of the treachery, but she couldn't. Her gaze was transfixed on the train wreck that had just become her life. Outside, William stood back and waited for the explosion that would rip the Angelus' marriage apart forever, but it never came. Buffy just stood as still as the grave, unobserved in the doorway. Time seemed to slow down allowing the pain invading her body to seep deeper into her soul, cutting her up into tiny unrecognisable pieces. If she hadn't been in so much pain she might have caught the tiny victorious smile that curled around Darla mouth. Darla knew the second Buffy had walked into the room. The deception had been carefully prepared and from the shell-shocked look of the cheerleader's face, it had worked like a dream. Setting up Liam was easy. A frantic call to his office that afternoon about her ex lover still stalking her was all it took to get the lawyer running to her defence. An accidental glass of red wine down his jacket had been a godsend. It was a shame she couldn't get him out of his shirt as well but the removal of his jacket looked good. Buffy had taken a little more attention. Darla had arranged the same hair appointment the day before and then carefully planted a few seeds of doubt into her mind about her affair with a married man. William, with his information about the betrayed aunt, willingly stepped in and did the rest.

Watching the pain streak across her rival's face, Darla hugged Liam tighter and buried her head into his shoulder. "Thank you, Angel. What would I do with out you?" Darla lifted her face and moved her lips towards his mouth. **Angel. She called him Angel ** Devastation, so extreme it made her bones ache, flooded through Buffy's body causing her limbs to tremble. Biting deep into her lip, she struggled to rein in her emotions. She failed. As hot salty tears started to well in the corners of her eyes, the shattered young woman felt her heart crack. ** It was over...That level of betrayal was unforgivable** Her thoughts were in too much turmoil to attempt speech so, without a single word Buffy turned on shaky legs and silently fled back along the hallway. As she fled, she didn't see her husband push away from her ex school friend, a shock of deep embarrassment etched across his dark features. She didn't see Darla theatrically blush and apologise for her drunken familiarity. She didn't see the masquerade played out so convincingly for her benefit. She saw only betrayal and lies. On reaching the front door, Buffy stopped for a second and her haunted eyes raked over William's stoic face. Waiting by the door, William had braced himself for a confrontation but this was the last thing he had expected. There were no fireworks, no arguments, no screaming... Just abject misery.. Momentarily horrified, his heart constricted as he watched the small blonde's once happy life shard into a million jagged pieces right before his very eyes. Unexpectedly, he found himself feeling almost ashamed by his part in the conspiracy, and unable to stand the pain reflected in her sad eyes, he tore his gaze away first. When she moved again, William didn't try and restrain her and before he could find the words he needed to comfort her, Buffy had slipped away into the night. Back in the living room, Darla smiled. The look on Buffy's face said it all. No matter how much Liam denied a relationship, the stupid little wife would never believe him. They would argue, maybe fight but Buffy's trust would be gone forever and she would patiently bide her time and be there when it all fell apart. Little did Darla know but her masquerade that night worked better than she had ever dreamed.

*****

One hour later, her emotions barely under control, a shattered and broken hearted young woman walked silently into the bus station and caught the first greyhound leaving Sunnydale. It was fifty miles before she realised she had no idea which direction she was heading. Buffy laid her head against the glass and let the drone of the engine seep deep into her mind. She tried to fight it but even with her eyes closed the image of Angel and Darla continued to taunt her head, refusing to leave her in peace for a single second. Wave after wave, the haunting visions replayed behind her closed eyelids. She knew she should have confronted them, screamed and shouted and maybe cracked a few skulls but she couldn't do it. The pain was simply too much to fight through. She needed to escape, run away and collect her bearings before facing the truth. That her marriage was over and everything her lover had ever told her was a lie. Unable to sleep, Buffy ran her hands over her tired eyes and when her gaze caught the ring of pale skin on her third finger where her wedding ring had once lay, silent tears trickled down her anguished face. As the pain of betrayal once again ripped open her chest, leaving her emotions to slowly bleed with the truth, Buffy wished with all her heart that she could forget him. Little was she know that only a few months later, on a different bus, heading in a different direction, her wish would be painfully granted. *** That same night Closing the door of his car, Liam muttered a silent curse as his eyes caught sight of the time. He had promised Buffy a night out and he was already three hours late. **Bloody Darla Penn** Liam cursed again as he struggled with the most enormous bunch of yellow roses. The damn woman always called at the most inconvenient times. Instead of having a romantic meal with his wife, Liam had spent the last two hours calming a nearly hysterical client, who swore her ex-lover, was trying to break into her house and kill her. More than once that night he had tried to leave, only to have the terrified woman threaten to do something stupid if he left her alone. It was only the arrival of her brother that let him finally escape. Darla's hysterics were Pennington's problem now.

He pushed the door open and laid the flowers on the hall table. His jacket still reeked of red wine and stripping the ruined garment from his shoulders, he placed it next to the flowers. **I don't care how rich she is, that woman needs a new lawyer first thing Monday morning** "Buffy! I'm home" Liam called out, but much to his surprise and disappointment, there was no reply. After searching the kitchen and lounge, he walked into his study. That was where Buffy would have left a message if she needed to go out in a hurry. He should have called her and if he hadn't lost his damn cell phone that night he would have. As he approached his desk, Liam noticed the envelope immediately. His concerned eyes then focused on two small gold bands, shining in the fading evening light. Reaching out, he ripped open the envelope and five seconds later, his whole world fell apart. **It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy** ***** The present "ANGEL" Buffy woke up with a start. As her fear filled eyes flicked around the shaded room, her heart pounded in her chest at least a thousand beats a minute. The nightmare that had stolen into her sleep, and had had terrified her dreams, was still there, perched on the very edge of reality and Buffy had no doubt, that if she just reached out with her mind, the whole dark world would come crashing back in. **It was a dream. Just another dream** She tried desperately to reassure herself but even as the words slipped into her head she knew how false they sounded. Her memory was coming back. The past was screaming like a freight train running out of all control, and Buffy had no doubt that when it finally arrived, all that would be left of her new life was the wreckage. Letting out a long breath, she turned her head and her eyes immediately caught sight of

note that had been left by the bedside. Buffy, You looked so peaceful laying there that I couldn't wake you for the world. I'll be back as soon I can and we'll celebrate all over again. I love you Angel Buffy smiled softly as she read the words. He loved her and the fluttering in her own stomach confirmed that the feeling was very mutual. **But you left.. You left him and very soon you are going to remember why** The unwanted thought ripped the smile from her face and all the pleasure at seeing those three little words disappeared. After floating on a cloud for the last twelve hours she hit the ground with a bump. Trying to push the trepidation as far to the back of her mind as was possible, Buffy slipped from the bed and tossed her robe over her naked shoulders. She was halfway across the room when the phone rang "Liam?" "No, its me" Buffy's smile died on hearing Darla's voice and not that of her husbands. "Sorry, I thought.." Buffy didn't get the chance to finish the sentence. "What the hell have you done to my brother?" the angry female voice that greeted her was the very last thing she had expected. Buffy sighed and tried to remove the vision of a battered face from her mind. "It's a long story " "Long story?" There was a slight hesitation on the other end of the line "William wouldn't tell me what happened but he's going crazy, Buffy. You should see the state of his face." Darla played the part of the wounded sister to perfection. A mixture of anger and concern blended with her voice and carefully hid her real agenda. Taking the silence on the other end of the line as a good sign, she continued pressing her advantage. "Look, I don't know what happened between you last night, but Will's pressing assault charges against Liam. I've tried to talk him out of it. You know how much I care about

you and Liam, but I couldn't calm him down this time. He wants blood" Darla bit into her lip as she took in the small gasp on the other end of the line. "He can't do that.. He promised" "Believe me he can, and from the sound of him, he will. Liam could be in serious trouble." Buffy felt sick. She couldn't believe that William had lied to her once again. Her whole life was becoming one lie after another. Knowing that she had shaken Buffy, Darla played her trump card and pulled the second largest bluff of her life "Look, I think I know how to fix this mess once and for all.. Meet me at the gallery in twenty minutes " ******* Climbing from the cab, Buffy took a deep breath as she closed the door but it did nothing to dispel the tension that knotted her stomach. Deep inside her head a tiny nagging voice kept repeating over and over that Darla couldn't be trusted. Darla was the fire in her dreams; she twisted and burned with an intense uneasiness. **Trust your first instinct... You don't remember this woman so how the hell can you trust her?** Buffy shook the warning from her head; the seriousness of the matter gave her no choice but to trust Darla. Liam's whole future would be ruined if William kept his promise and pressed assault charges and, no matter how much she distrusted the other woman, she had to give her the benefit of the doubt Realising that she was the first to arrive, Buffy anxiously checked her watch and then looked in both directions for any sign of her so called friend. **So much for punctuality** Buffy sighed impatiently. She wanted this confrontation over with, what ever the outcome might be, it had to end today. Standing on the sidewalk, Buffy waited a good five minutes before deciding that she would be far more comfortable waiting in her own office. Turning towards her building she pulled the gallery keys from her pocket and headed towards the front door. As she covered the pavement, Buffy felt a slight shiver run down her spine, as if a ghost from her past had suddenly woken up and walked over her skin.

**Not good. This is really not good** She fumbled for the right key and as she finally inserted it in the lock the first sign that something wasn't right confirmed her earlier fears. The lock in question didn't need to be turned, with the slight touch of her hand the door slipped open. Looking towards the handle Buffy noticed that a tiny section of glass had been broken and the lock forced open. Ignoring all the danger signs, she pushed harder on the door, and poked her head inside. "Hello?" The small bell handing on the back of the door jangled twice with the movement. "Darla?" It was dark, the shutters were all closed and the display lighting was turned off. Buffy took a second step, trying to adjust her eyes to dim light of her surroundings. With the new step she felt a chill brush its way up over her skin and the hairs on the back of her neck lifted. Silently cursing her stupidity, Buffy shook off the anxiety but as she took a third step inside the gallery door, her throat felt dry and her fingers twisted nervously with the strap of her purse. At the sound of a footstep she turned her head and started to speak. Buffy's eyes narrowed, not quite able to make out the lurking figure. "Darla? ...Willia..." She never got to finish the second word. For an instant there was a sharp pain and then all the light in her head went out. Darla dropped the wooden African figure that she had been holding in the palm of her hand and looked down at the unconscious form lying sprawled across the tiled floor. Her eyes watched her handiwork in awe as a shock of crimson seeped slowly through the ribbons of golden hair. At the sight of her rival's blood, reality crashed in and Darla shook her head, gaining her wits. Bending her knees, she dragged Buffy's limp form away from the open doorway and after checking that there was nobody else outside on the street, she quickly pulled down the blind and replaced the *closed* sign. With a body on the floor, the last thing she needed was a nosy customer walking in on her. Once sure that she wouldn't be disturbed, Darla touched two fingers to her unconscious victim's neck, checking for a pulse and was almost disappointed to feel the faint throbbing beneath her fingertips. Not that it mattered to Darla. A quick painless death wasn't on the agenda that afternoon.

**Well, the quick painless part anyway** Late afternoon **** William Pennington perched quietly on a stool at the bar, nursing a large glass of whiskey. Deep in reflection, a long slender finger absentmindedly toyed with his glass as the troubles of the last few months rested heavily on his bowed shoulders. A small flight bag lay at his feet and, with the knowledge that the rest of his personal belongings were already winging their way across the country, reluctantly, Pennington had time to kill. Pulling a crumpled Marlboro packet from his jacket pocket, William lit up a cigarette and, staring at what appeared to be a damp patch on the far wall of the bar, drew the nicotine deep into his lungs. The airport would be hot and stuffy at that time of day and, although he couldn't bear staying in Sunnyhell a moment longer than necessary, the prospect of forever leaving the small town, left a dull nagging ache deep in his chest. He worried that the scars, of coming to this place, would remain with him for the rest of his life. William closed his weary eyes and took another long drag on his cigarette. It was killing him having to give up his home and his family, but Will was finally being realistic and accepting the truth. There was no future for him now in Sunnydale. Seeing Buffy everyday and not being able to love her, or even touch her was a pain he could no longer live with. He simply wasn't that strong. In the end it was that reason and that reason alone that made up his mind for him. He had to get out of this town not only for Buffy's sake but more importantly, for his own. **That's right. You keep telling yourself that mate and one day you might actually believe it** Sliding his gaze down the length of the bar William motioned for the bartender to fill up his glass again. It was, after all, going to be a bloody long afternoon. After his talk with Darla he was more sure of his decision than ever. So, a few hours later, with just a few packing cases in tow, he closed the mansion door for the very last time. Darla could have the place now and if for any reason she didn't want it, well, it could rot for all he cared. William was well on his way to the airport when it dawned on him just how much time he had to kill before his late night flight to London. Deciding to drown his sorrows with bad American booze one last time he stopped the cab right

outside the local bar and sent his luggage on in his place. **If it got there great, if not, he really didn't care anymore. Sadly, William was past caring about anything** The local bar he often frequented was at best a dive, but it did have one saving quality, it was always deadly quiet at that time of the afternoon. The perfect place for him to lose himself in. Willy, the bartender recognised the young poet the moment he first entered the bar, but years of experience had taught him to appreciate when a person wanted to talk or when they needed be left alone. From the dark expression etched on the troubled man's face, William Pennington very much wanted to be left alone. And that's how he stayed. Lost in a dark world of sorrow and regret, Will kept his back to the room and blanked out anyone who came too close for comfort. He ordered a whiskey, knocked it back in one long swig and then, ignoring the misery that was threatening to suffocate him, he steadily worked his way through the first half of the bottle. In three hours, the bartender was the only one brave enough to approach the downcast young man. "Again?" Willy asked, pointing towards the almost empty glass on the counter. Lifting his piercing blue eyes, the customer shook his head. Crushing out his third cigarette in an ashtray on the bar, William stared down into the golden depths of his drink and realised that it was definitely cutting off time. He had places to be and the airline wouldn't let him board the plane and fly back home if he arrived at the check-in desk too drunk to stand up. **Besides, what was the point of getting paralytic? ** He thought bitterly. William knew only too well that getting pissed wouldn't help. No matter how hard he looked at it, there was simply no solace to be found in the bottom of his glass. **There's no peace to be found anywhere in this god-forsaken town.** Willy was still hovering, holding a cheap bottle of imported scotch, but his customer was no longer interested. Glancing at his tab, the poet pulled a handful of American bills from his wallet and slapped them down on the counter. The tip was generous and the bartender smiled. "No, I'm through." With the air of defeat radiating from every pore in his body William

slipped off the stool, and then added almost as an afterthought " I've got to get the fuck out of this hell hole before I go insane" Tossing back the remains of his drink, he picked up his small flight bag, threw it over his shoulder and, without a backward glance, he walked out into the fading daylight. ***** Outside the street was almost deserted. William tried for at least ten minutes to find a cab but, at that time of the evening, it was near impossible. Not wanting to waste any more time hanging around outside the bar, his feet turned and headed off in the direction of the local bus station. As William pounded along the pavement, he tried everything in his power not to think of a certain blonde girl who would always hold a special place in his heart. He failed miserably. No matter how hard he tried his Judas thoughts refused to comply and his mind was filled with images of Buffy. She was everywhere in this town. William could see her face in every building, on every street corner, and in every fair-haired female that smiled in his direction. There was simply no escape from his torment; every way he turned Buffy Angelus was haunting him. **You bastard. You low-life lying bastard. I've been in hell for the last two weeks and all the time you could have ended it. That was when you could have saved me ** **Let go of me. It's not you, it was never you** **I could never love a man like you.. You're beneath me** Before he'd even realised where he was heading William found himself on the sidewalk outside Buffy's gallery. The building was dark and the shutter was pulled down but, as the door was slightly ajar, he knew she had to be in there. As he ran his eyes lovingly over the Summers name above the door, every instinct shouted out for him to keep on walking. Buffy had made her feelings perfectly clear about never wanting to set eyes on him again and the very last thing he should be doing was contemplating walking in and surprising her. It was wrong. He knew it wouldn't do any good but, even as he stood there hesitating, Will also knew that he had to try one last time to make his peace with the girl he would never see again. He couldn't bear that her last memory of him was so disgusting. He wasn't a complete fool, William knew that Buffy could easily laugh the apology back in his face, but that was a chance he would just have to take. Just one last time he needed to tell her that he really was sorry and reassure her that he would never interfere in her life again. And then, no matter if she laughed or not, he was gone.

"Hello?... " William pushed open the gallery door and knew immediately that something was very wrong. Tiny shards of glass snapped beneath his boots as he ventured deeper into the building. Hitting the light switch on the wall by the doorway, the room flooded with artificial light. "Buffy?" The first thing Will saw was the African figure abandoned on the floor at his feet. His voice rose an octave as tiny tremors of fear flitted into his heart. "BUFFY?" Dropping to his knees William ran his finger through the small pool of congealed blood and recoiled with horror as Darla's chilling words came back to haunt him. **Well maybe its time to stop playing games and get rid of the little bitch once and for all** **Stopping her from breathing? Good idea little brother. That works just fine for me.** "Oh, God" **I'm not being dramatic, I'm just saying, maybe it's time I got rid of the bitch once and for all** "You stupid Wanker" William cursed himself for not taking his sister's threats seriously. From the amount of blood on the floor and the lack of a struggle he knew Buffy was in the worse kind of trouble imaginable. **That's if that physco bitch hadn't already carried out her threat** The small hairs on the back of his neck stood on edge and his blood almost burned with rage "DARLA! Where the hell are you?" Getting up off the floor, William frantically cast his eyes around the room, looking for anything that would give him an insight into his sister's twisted head. Darla had played this far too close to her chest and, at that moment in time, he honestly didn't have a clue where to start looking for her. Just as he was about to head back outside, a small black purse caught the corner of his eye. He recognised it immediately seeing as how it had cost him a thousand bucks the previous Christmas. Picking up the

bag from under a counter, William quickly turned the contents out across a glass display case. In the blink of an eye, make up, tissues and a fistful of loose change spiralled across the flat surface. Darla's address book, hidden away in a small side pocket brought a total blank but on sliding his fingers deeper into the designer bag, William smiled in relief and carefully removed a small leather bound diary. The tiny gold lock wasn't a problem for the heel of his boot and within seconds of ripping its remains from the hard leather cover his fingers were furiously flipping through the fragile pages. Monday 2nd. Liam called to cancel our lunch Date. There's been an accident and he has to fly to New York. William continued to scan the articulate handwriting for anything that would help in his search for Buffy. After reading page after page of endless female gossip, it was the most recent entries that finally stopped him cold. Everything he needed to know was there. His deep blue eyes widened in horror at the hatred blazing out from every page. "Oh, fuck!" ****** "No, YOU don't understand... I need to speak to Liam Angelus.. NOW! " William paced anxiously up and down the gallery floor as he waited to be connected to Liam. On the other end of the line a secretary was trying her best to persuade him that Mr. Angelus and Mr. McDonald were both unavailable that afternoon but William was too frantic to take notice of her excuses. "What do you mean the tosser can't be disturbed? Look, I'm not fooling about here, this is a matter of life and death" Raking a nervous hand through his hair, William shouted into his cell phone. "Just get him out of the fucking meeting and tell him to meet me at the old high school .. NO, you listen you daft old bint, not tomorrow, not next Wednesday RIGHT THIS SODDING SECOND" He cut off the annoying secretary before she could protest and immediately started to dial a new number. 91.. Just as he was about to hit the final digit William's shaking finger hesitated, the enormity of the situation sinking down so heavily on his shoulders that he caught his breath. "What the hell am I doing?" **This is kidnapping and possibly a damn sight lot worse**

William was torn. If the police got involved before he could find her, Darla would end up behind bars for the rest of her life. As much as he wanted to protect Buffy, he also realised that his sister was all he had left in the world, and no matter what she had done, he had no choice but to try and save her from prison. **And what about your own involvement, you pillock?** At that second thought, self-preservation kicked in and reluctantly he switched off the phone. He would save Buffy at all costs but first he needed to see how bad the situation was. Once Buffy was safe, he would find a way to save both his and Darla's worthless hides anyway he could. ***** Buffy groaned and, keeping her eyes closed against the intense pain, she tried to lift her head. "There you are" A chillingly calm voice floated out from the shadows and drifted deep inside her mind "I was beginning to think you'd sleep the whole night away" Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, as the ropes binding her wrists burned angrily into her flesh. Slightly disorientated, she blinked twice, trying desperately to see through the dim light and place her new surroundings. All around her the air was filled with strange aromas. Fresh paint, plaster, new wood, and something quite out of place.. Gasoline? Lifting her head a fraction Buffy winced as a searing pain shot through the back of her battered skull. Blood, rich and sticky matted her blonde hair and a wave of nausea rose up and burnt the back of her throat, as the last thing she remembered that afternoon surged back into her head. **Someone had hit her. Hard** Without moving her head more than was necessary, Buffy's eyes flickered through the shadows, confused by her strange surroundings. Although it was getting dark, the moonlight shining in from the large glass windows gave enough light to make out the outline of a large room, possibly a library. There were stacks up against the far walls but for some unknown reason there were no books in this library. In fact, the whole room was stripped of all furniture and the high bare walls had a strong odour of fresh paint. Wherever she was Buffy knew she certainly wasn't in the gallery any longer.

Whatever had happened in the time that had elapsed, her whole body was now in pain. From the aching in her limbs she felt as if she was bruised from head to toe. Buffy pushed down the pain and fought to remember. It was fuzzy but the memory was still there. Someone had been waiting for her at the gallery that afternoon, there had been footsteps and then... **I was beginning to think you'd sleep the whole night away** "Darla?" The silence only lasted for the duration of a single heartbeat "You should never have come back, Summers" Buffy immediately recognised the female voice and a large pang of resentment coursed through her that she had been so easily fooled. Narrowing her eyes slightly, she once again searched through the shadows. With a small unnerving smile turning the corners of her lips, Darla took a footstep forward. Pale moonlight washed over her small frame and when its silver glow highlighted the blonde woman's hair, it gave her an almost ghostly appearance. Bully swallowed the shock that took her breath away. **Deja vu** This was how all her nightmares had started ever since the accident. She swallowed again; there were just too many similarities for comfort. Darla stood stock-still and savoured the flash of dismay that briefly froze her rival's features. Chillingly, not a flicker of emotion covered her own face. Still struggling with the shock of being tied up, and Darla's impersonation of Casper, Buffy snaked her tongue out to moisten her dry lips. The strongest aroma in the room also clung to her skin. She could taste... "What's that smell?" Buffy didn't know why she'd even asked. She'd known the answer before the words had left her mouth. Acting her part to perfection Darla lifted her nose and took in the strong scent that floated on the evening air. "My guess would be gasoline. Oh, dear, It looks like the whole place is doused with it."

She replied innocently and ran her finger across the wet counter in the middle of the room. A sticky trail proved her right. The room was literally swimming with the volatile substance. "I don't understand.. Where are we?" Buffy asked the one question that seemed to be haunting her most. Her head was splitting and she could feel a lump the size of a mountain protruding out from her hair but no matter how hard she delved into the dark void of her mind she couldn't place the room. Darla walked closer. "You don't recognise the old place, Buffy?" She raised a sardonic eyebrow and then, almost as an afterthought she sighed slightly too theatrically. " Damn, of course you wouldn't. Well, not if that amnesia of yours is genuine..." she took a slow breath and the tone of her voice then dripped in sarcasm " Though personally, I think the jury is still out on that one" Buffy shook her aching head wishing she could make sense of Darla's strange babbling and that the bitch would get to the point. There was something so familiar about the room but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. At Buffy's still confused look, Darla's lips tightened together "Give up? Okay, let me give you a little clue.. We're right back where it all started, Buffy. This is our beloved high school. Well, this is what's left of the high school." she answered calmly, almost too calmly. A slow smile then spread across her features. "It's funny really, from the outside everyone thinks this place is nothing but a burnt out shell but that's where they're wrong. I was there that day and I remember. It was only the gym and a few of the outer buildings that were really lost. The main building stood up well to the fire of 99. See how nice it's looking. Those poor workman have been renovating it all summer... All for nothing" Darla rambled almost affectionately about the building they had both attended in their teens. Not that much of it made sense to Buffy. Suddenly, the array of alarm bells ringing inside her head was going into overdrive. Ignoring the walk down memory lane, she frantically searched the room looking for a second party. There had to be a second party. "Where's William?" Darla looked up in genuine surprise. **Amnesia girl still hadn't got it**

"You really do give blondes a bad name" She snorted as she walked around the chair. "William didn't do this, you stupid little cheerleader... I did" A mixture of cold insanity and red-hot pride danced in her cool liquid eyes. She smirked and the expression cruelly distorted her once beautiful face. "Poor little Will, that fool really does love you and if you hadn't been so determined to hold on to Liam, it could have been so different. You and my little brother could have gone off happily into the sunset... Too late now of course, now we are playing with my rules" As the words slowly registered Buffy froze and glared at her in horror. For the first time she could see the real hatred shining from the other woman's face "I thought we were supposed to be friends?" In her heart Buffy already knew the answer to that statement. Even with total amnesia she had known it was all a lie, right from that first meeting at lunch when the nagging voice in her ear had screamed out that Darla Penn was not to be trusted. Her confusion and lack of memory could only be blamed so much. Every instinct inside her begged not to trust this two-faced devil, but like a blind fool, desperate for crumbs of her past, she had ignored the warning time after time. At the array of emotions crossing Buffy's face, Darla threw back her head and laughed. To see the truth finally dawn across her dim rival's features was everything she had ever wanted. **Well, almost everything** "Friends? Don't make me laugh. I hate you. In point of fact, I've always hated you. You're nothing but a whiny, annoying, selfish, little bitch. " Darla's grin widened across her cruel mouth as she backed away. She needed a better view; she didn't want to miss a second of Buffy's pain. Buffy cursed her stupidity "I can't believe I walked right into this" Darla laughed again, she was on a roll now and nothing would stop her. " You and that little brat pack of friends of yours made my school life a living hell. Buffy Summers, always looking down your crooked nose thinking you were better than me." Darla whined miserably at her distorted memories of high school. For years she had blamed every one of her many failures on Buffy. Buffy shook her head

"You're wrong" she argued defensively. She wasn't sure yet how she knew the other woman was lying but she just did. Darla quirked and eyebrow. "Am I?. I don't think so, Summers. Remember, I'm not the one here with convenient amnesia" "No, your the one living in fantasy land" Buffy shot back. Darla rolled her eyes and dismissed the insult without a second thought. She was the one in control here. Finally, she was the one with the power. As more of her twisted past rose to the surface of her mind, her hatred for Buffy intensified. "It just didn't matter what I did you always had to be first" Her pained gaze turned dark " You even stole my first boyfriend" And there it was the first seed of a life long hatred. Buffy gasped, as ghosts from her past crept over her soul and brought back the memory with tiny whispers. As if a veil lifted, she remembered the little boy in question. Sandy blonde hair, long lanky legs and a face full of freckles. ** His name was Riley.** Buffy suddenly remembered how the poor little boy had won her heart with a bar of chocolate one afternoon in the schoolyard. It was hardly Romeo and Juliet. Three hours after the chocolate had gone; she had cruelly dumped him. Riley cried for a month. Strangely, as the pictures replayed in her mind, Buffy had no memory of Darla in the equation at all. Buffy's eyes then widened in disbelief. "We were five" she responded softly, so softly that her rival, in her angry state almost didn't hear her. Darla took a step forward, her suspicious eyes never leaving Buffy's face for a second. "So you do remember? I guess I was right about your so-called amnesia " She snapped fiercely and then smiled. "Or maybe it was the crack to your poor little head that did the trick. Maybe I should charge you a fee for returning your memory" The few seconds of silence that followed was deafening "Oh, God. You're completely crazy" Buffy's heart dropped with the sudden realisation.

This wasn't an angry William keeping her prisoner over a broken heart; this was much more dangerous than that. The woman holding her captive wasn't playing with a full deck of cards anymore. Darla leaned towards her, her eyes so fierce it took all Buffy's strength not to show the fear that was choking her. "Oh, honey. I left being crazy about three turnings back. But try not to take this personally, I'm not doing this *just* because I hate you with every bone in my body. No, it's much simpler than that. Buffy flinched when Darla's hand touched her hair, the strong smell of gasoline lingering on her manicured hand. "I want your husband" Buffy felt as though she had been physically struck. In her heart she knew it and yet hearing the words still knocked her sideways. " I love Liam, I always have and you, you are all that's standing between us and that perfect happy ending every couple in love dream about.." For an instant Buffy was too stunned to even respond. Shock and disbelief registered on her face as it all fell into place. Revelling in the bewilderment written clearly across her rival's face, Darla tossed her head back and chuckled. Then reaching beneath the freshly painted counter, she removed a large, well-hidden gasoline can. Without once taking her eyes from Buffy's face, her long manicured fingers slowly twisted the cap. "I'll be his wife, the mother to his children and you, you my dear girl will just be the first wife, the one that ran off, again." Darla smiled and insanity burned brightly from her pale blue eyes. "That's how the official report on your disappearance will read. Only the two of us will ever know the truth. That poor little Buffy ended up nothing more than a big pile of ash on the library floor. That's if there's still a floor left when the fire finishes its feast." Darla splashed the gasoline at Buffy's feet and the liquid happily added to the multitude already soaking into the floor. As the full impact of Darla's words struck home Buffy hit back "You're delusional. Angel will never love you. Even if I wasn't around it would still NEVER be you." Buffy's eyes flashed with fire as the other woman physically flinched " Face it, Barbie. My husband's just not into crazy bitches with plastic breasts"

Momentarily Darla froze, her bright smile of success fading away. Her recovery, however, was swift and violent. Buffy's head snapped back with a crack as Darla's small hand viciously backhanded her. "And that's just where you are wrong, bitch." She raised her hand again as if to continue the assault but when Buffy held her head high, ignoring the blood dripping from her split lip, Darla decided that words would hurt her far more than actions ever could. "Liam will be so devastated by your second disappearance that he will be easy pickings. I can even make him believe that you ran off with William for a while, that will be fun. That poor boy, his heart will be broken all over again. But don't you worry about Angel too much; I'll be here to give him all the support he needs.... Just like I did the last time you ran off." Darla smirked as the words hit right where she knew they would. "You should never have come back, Buffy." A tiny spark flashed unnoticed in hazel orbs. Darla made her first real mistake. Anger only made the other woman stronger. Buffy refused to show any of the fear that was racing through her body. She was sick and tired of being manipulated by the woman in front of her and if she somehow did manage to escape this alive, she promised herself she would strangle Darla Penn with her own two hands. **And dance on your grave** Snaking out her tongue she licked the blood from her split lip and glared back. "But I did come back and even after everything you did to us, Liam still wanted me and not you. Face it, Darla. Once a loser always a loser" Darla shrugged her slim shoulders as if the words were of little importance. She grinned and the slow knowing smile that spread across her face sent renewed shivers down Buffy's spine. "Yes, you came back once, but unless you believe in reincarnation you won't be doing it again. So, tell me this, Buffy. Now who's the loser?" The smell of fresh gasoline rose up from the floor and swelled around her head. Cold fear gripped Buffy's heart as she realised that she'd been here before. This was how she felt in her dreams. Suddenly her nightmare was being played out right before her very

eyes. The fire that had haunted her every night since her return wasn't just a memory trying to break through from her past; it was also a glimpse of her future. For a moment there was no sound. Nothing changed except the level of hatred passing between the two females occupying the room. And then the equation shifted. "Darla. Where the fuck are you?" At the introduction of the third voice both Darla and Buffy turned their heads. The voice was male and sounded distant yet each female recognised it at once. William. Placing the gasoline can on the floor, Darla turned and headed towards the shuttered windows. She placed her small fingers on either side of the bars and peered through. Although the light was dim, her brother's bleached hair was plainly seen in the moonlight. "Dammit, I should have known he'd never really leave you. " Darla muttered the curse beneath her breath before turning back. "Looks like a hero is here to save the day after all. What a shame he's not going to succeed in time. " With a swift kick, Darla's foot struck out and hit the gasoline can, toppling it over with a crash and sending the remaining contents snaking out across the new wooden floor. Buffy's eyes widened in horror as the clear, volatile liquid snaked towards her. As panic and adrenaline raced through her blood stream, her hands frantically tore at the ropes binding her wrists and ignoring the pain, she hid any show of emotion on feeling them slowly loosen. For a second they shifted slightly but it still wasn't enough to free her. Her bones were small but Darla had done a good job tying them and no matter how hard she fought, the ropes struggled to hold on to their prisoner. "Now, where did I put those matches?" Darla smirked and brought a small box from her pocket. With an almost silent strike, she waited for a second before carelessly dropping the match. "Ooops," an evil grin lit up her face as the naked flame came into contact with the wet wood. With a horrifying whoosh, a ball of orange engulfed the counter and surrounding area, hungrily feasting on the fuel that had earlier soaked into the floor. Like a golden predator, the flames moved almost in slow motion, licking at the freshly vanished wood, feeding from the fabrics and devouring the paint. Nothing was safe from the budding inferno. Crackling with gratitude, the fire consumed everything in its path, suffocating

natural colour from the room and leaving a trail of black destruction. Feeling the heat prickle on her skin, Darla stepped back. She watched in fascination as the fire spread, slowly wrapping its red and yellow tentacles around the wooden stacks. Fuelled by the gasoline and the evening breeze, the energetic flames danced happily up the walls, scorching off the new magnolia covering. In seconds, months of hard work and restoration went back up in smoke. Darla giggled as she watched her handiwork. As the flames threatened yet another set of stacks a new thought crossed her twisted mind. What a shame, it seems the next generation of Sunnydale wouldn't be attending the high school this year after all.. Or the next, or even the one after that. "I would stay and enjoy the show but sadly I've got places to be, husbands to console" Darla let the real hatred she felt for Buffy burn dangerously in her eyes. Taking one last glance in her rival's direction, she watched as the flames moved ever closer and knew that this time, up against Buffy Summers, she would be the one to come out on top. There would only be one winner in this last little competition and for the first time in her life, it wouldn't be Summers. Darla took a step back. "For God sake, Darla. Don't do this." Looking across the distance that separated them, Buffy met her eyes and knew in that single glance that it was hopeless to try and reason with the other woman. Futilely twisting her hands against the rope binding her, she felt her whole body stiffen with frustration and rage. As the worried flesh tore from her small wrists Buffy realised with a sinking heart that the woman in front of her was beyond listening. Darla Penn was beyond rational thought, beyond sanity, and sadly for Buffy, she was beyond reasoning with. Darla was running on a mixture of pure hatred and insanity and no matter what happened next, Buffy knew she wouldn't get any help in that direction. Darla smiled as if she suddenly had all the troubles of the world lifted from her shoulders. "So long Buffy, have a nice... death" With those final words she took a few more steps backwards and let the shadows behind her swallow her retreat ***** Now alone in the library with only the fire as a companion, Buffy fought hard to breathe. Within a few seconds the hungry flames had reached the abandoned paint cans and turpentine stored in the corner and one by one the lids exploded, feeding the monster and

spawning tiny offspring in every direction. Refusing to die like a frightened animal, Buffy struggled even harder, but as she fought for her very existence, the dam holding back her memory began to crumble. Suddenly, a world full of images flooded Buffy's mind The smell of burning was all around her, filling her senses, bringing back the past in a rush of terrifying Technicolor.. As she struggled to loosen her binds, her head was filled with forgotten pictures... The sound of people screaming, dying in agony filled every corner of her mind as her shattered memory was thrown back with a vengeance. Unable to do anything else, she watched in horror as the bus that she had been travelling on crashed and burst into flames. She'd been asleep when the brakes had first locked on. The force of the skid violently woke her from her slumber that night and then, almost in slow motion, the vehicle had started spinning out of control. As it careered across the lanes of traffic, hitting everything in its' path, the metallic monster finally smashed through the barriers and rolled down the embankment. Inside the carnage, bodies of every description moved almost silently through the air, hitting against the seats like broken dolls. There was glass and metal and pain and then, when it looked as if it couldn't possibly get any worse, a shock wave of heat rushed through the debris scorching everything in sight. Buffy watched through closed eyes as the flames in her memory shot through the destruction with a brutal, hungry roar, not discriminating who or what they smothered. The old, the young, the trapped, their screams all filled Buffy's ears as her own battered body was thrown miraculously from the wreckage. Then, as she waited for her turn to die, the sound of sirens filtered through the madness and made their way into her head. Through the pain she felt a soft hand reach out an d stroke her brow and then, with a last vision of Liam flickering across her dropping eyelids, her traumatised mind finally closed down. Amnesia and a world full of confusion had followed and brought her right back here. And now, in a sick twist of fate she was burning all over again. As wave after wave of memory attacked Buffy's mind, she became even more determined to stay alive. She rocked on her chair, twisting at her wrists and ignored the blood that dripped down her fingers. After devouring the counter and the freshly varnished stacks, the fire moved straight for it's next victim. Buffy choked as a wave of thick toxic smoke attacked her lungs. As the thought of burning to death became a frightening reality, Buffy's resolve to escape became even stronger. Her eyes streamed and her lungs burned but she refused to give in. She'd see Darla Penn in Hell first.

At the thought of the crazy bitch playing happy families with Angel, anger surged through her bloodstream again. With a crash the wooden chair holding her toppled over and without knowing, or at that point caring, Buffy found her hands finally free. She tossed the ropes away and scrambled to her knees. Although the fire was too close for comfort, Buffy stayed down on the floor for a few seconds gasping for breath. The oxygen at that level made breathing slightly easier and she needed a clear head to workout the best escape route. Looking across the smoke she saw that the exit Darla had used was now totally blocked by flames so the only way out now was to move back through the school. Through pitch black, smoke filled corridors. What ever her plan Buffy had to do it sooner rather than later. When the fire made contact with a second set of builder's supplies, a blinding flash sucked any remaining oxygen right out of the air. Taking one last deep breath Buffy crawled towards what she hoped she remembered as the exit. **** While Buffy was fighting for her life, fate joined in the twisted equation and once again played its hand. Suddenly, the fire destroying the library found a new friend to play with. A small storeroom, out of sight but situated directly beneath the blaze, started to silently smoulder with the ferocious heat. Within seconds of the small explosion above, gallons of forgotten cleaning fluid ignited with a swish and as the plastic canisters melted with the heat, the liquid they were holding exploded with a vengeance. There were now two fires raging out of control. **** Back in the library. Buffy couldn't believe how quickly the room was disintegrating. One by one the beams supporting the ceiling began to creak and groan, as the timber grew weaker. Covering her hair with her hands she crawled her way through smoke as burning cinders rained down

on her head. **Oh, God. I'm really not going to get out of this alive** **** On arriving at the old High School, Liam Angelus jumped from his car and sprinted across the grass as if the devil himself was after his soul. The school grounds looked completely deserted and, in the ghostly darkness that covered the main building, he could just about make out which direction he needed to follow. The gymnasium was the first building he came across, the derilect shell was a chilling reminder of how unsafe the whole damn campus was. He Skirting around the outside of a building destined to soon be demolished, Liam shook his head and pushed aside the tiny gnaw of apprehension warning him that there was something seriously wrong with this picture. He didn't have time to listen to warnings. Moving closer to the main building, he took a deep breath but it did nothing to dispel the tension that was knotting his stomach. It was only after he entered the quad and stopped running that he allowed his secretary's earlier words to slice through his thoughts. **The caller said it was a matter of life and death** **William Pennington** **You need to meet him at the old High School right away** Liam scanned as far as the eye could see but there was still no sign of Pennington anywhere. For a moment he wondered if he had read the instructions wrong but on second thought, he was sure he hadn't. The message had been garbled at best but somehow he had managed to get the gist of it. Buffy was in trouble and that bastard Englishman was once again involved. There would be no second chances this time. Liam vowed that when he finally got his hands on the devious poet in question, William Pennington was going to wish that he'd never set foot on American soil. **And if he's laid so much as a finger on my wife I'll make sure he's buried under American soil for the rest of eternity** Liam silently raged while trying to push back the panic that continued to multiply every second that Buffy was still missing, **Where the hell was she** Tired of waiting around Liam cupped his hands to his mouth a shouted deep into the

night "BUFFY?" **Buffy** Frustratingly, the empty echo of her name was all that returned to him. Liam's eyes narrowed. He felt as if he was suddenly caught up in a sick game of cat and mouse and at that very second, he was the prey. Somewhere out there in the shadows Pennington was mocking him, pushing him just far enough to see if he would snap. **Oh, he'll see me snap alright, I'll snap his scrawny, wife-stealing neck.** "William, you fucking son of a..... " He never got a chance to finish the curse as the angry words died in his throat. Standing in the middle of the quad, the stillness of the night was violently interrupted by the sound of exploding glass. A shock of orange fury licked at the upper windows of the main building, reaching through the shutters as they sucked in the cool night air. **The caller said it was a matter of life and death** "BUFFY" Liam felt his heart rate double as he sprinted for the nearest entrance. On reaching the front of the school, to his horror, he found that all the main doors were not only locked, but also bolted. Liam's eyes quickly scanned the rusted padlock and the worn wood that framed the door and without a second's hesitation, he used his shoulder as a battering ram and lunged the obstruction. The sound of bone connecting with wood gave a sickening crack but, much to his relief, the elderly door gave way. Ignoring the pain shooting through his right arm, Liam crashed into the school hallway. Immediately, tendrils of rich smoke swirled in the air towards him. The fire, wherever it had started, was now roaring out of control but Liam knew that at this distance the smoke was more of a danger than the flames. Knowing that breathing would soon become an issue, he ripped off his jacket and using it as a makeshift mask, he held it across his nose and mouth. Without so much as another thought, his long legs moved swiftly on into its hot embrace. ***** Meanwhile

William was already inside the burning building. The fire escape on the far side of the school had been the easiest option after seeing the chained front entrance. Frantic with worry over his sister's actions and Buffy's safety, the poet hadn't given Liam a second thought after making the phone call. Running all the way over to the high school he had tried to put Dare's crazy actions into perspective but as soon as his lean body squeezed its way through a conveniently broken window, the reality along with the smell of burning hit him. She really had done it this time. Drama had crossed the line by a mile and no matter which way you looked at things, there was simply no going back from this disaster. Whatever he did that night it wouldn't make a shred of difference. He and Drama were both seriously screwed. Stumbling blindly through the darkness, Will clutched at his chest and coughed bitterly as the heat and smoke jointly attacked him. Fighting back the bile in his throat, he forced himself to think clearly. As his feet carried him forward, his fear filled mind mapped out an escape route the best way he could. Escaping when you knew where you were going was hard enough but in dark, smoke filled, corridors of a school he had never attended, it looked almost impossible. "Buffy?" "Drama?" William tried to shout out for the two missing women but as the words left his lips, the smoke smothered the sound of his voice. He then moved blindly along the hallways cursing the unfamiliar surroundings as he tripped and stumbled time after time. **Even if the smoke didn't get him, at this rate, he was sure to break his neck** When two large wooden doors blocked his path, Will pressed his palms against the solid wood. The cool response against his fingers was both reassuring and terrifying. The coolness of the barrier meant William hadn't reached the fire yet but it also meant that he still hadn't found Buffy or Darla. Strong feelings of self preservation told him to go back, call it a day and get out of Sunnydale as fast as he could. But he couldn't. He had no choice now but to go deeper, much deeper, if he was ever going to find them and save his ass. At the thought of walking into a raging inferno, blood thundered in his ears and his erratic heartbeat, pounded hard enough to break his chest. ** What if she's already dead** **No, you stupid moron** William swept the thought of Buffy's death from his mind and pushed open the doors. Holding them back with his foot, his hands groped through the haze until he found

something solid enough to wedge at least one of them open. Little by little his escape route was taking form. Now all he had to do was stay alive long enough to use it. **** Library Trapped. Buffy screamed as the exit she was trying to move towards became engulfed in a wall of torrid flame. With every part of the room carefully soaked in gasoline she knew that her chances of survival were fading fast. Watching in horror, she stood spellbound as the fire danced over every wooden surface. It's red and golden flames crackling and hissing as they all merged together, making the room one enormous mass of heat. Begrudgingly, Buffy had to give Darla her due. Darla Penn might be a manipulative, crazy, evil bitch but she had planned this murder to perfection. When the fires burnt down there would be nothing left in the ash but.. Ash Buffy trembled at the thought. All around her the room was glowing and the unbearable temperature was increasing by the second. **Please God, I don't want to be ash** Backing into a free corner, the frightened young woman tried desperately to calm the racing beat of heart, as she faced her own death, but she failed miserably. Not wanting to be alone she closed her eyes and scanned through her memory for a picture to meet her maker with. Liam's face was there in a heartbeat. **I'll always come to your rescue** She closed her eyes as she remembered his promise of long ago. "Well, honey. Now would be a really good time" As soon as the words left her lips Buffy wished them back. This was the last place on earth that she wanted Angel to be in. This building was now a death trap and no one should die like that. **No one except Darla** Buffy wrapped her arms around her small frame and trembled, feeling death's heat blistering at her skin, she clung to that image and cursed Darla Penn's soul to damnation. ******

A few minutes away. Liam stumbled on the main source of the fire almost by accident. Lost in the dark hallways that all seemed the same, he turned left at one point instead of going straight on and found a staircase leading to a second level. The heat was unbearable and as he approached the blazing library every particle of common sense he had ever known pleaded with him to turn back. **Not without my wife** "Buffy" Pulling down his makeshift mask he shouted as loud as his tinder dry throat would allow but even before the sound left his lips he knew that it was pointless. The noise of glass exploding easily blocked out the sound of his voice. Raising his hands to his face he tried to shield his eyes from the heat, all the while desperately looking for a sign of where to search next. Liam turned, and just as he was about to backtrack, fate changed the rules one more time. It was very muffled but the sound of a female scream drifted over the roar of the fire and stopped him dead in his tracks. Liam turned back. One hard kick was all it took for the door to cave in. Head down, determination fixed to his face, he lunged through a pocket in the blaze, quickly closing the distance that separated him and his love. For a brief moment Buffy stared in wide-eyed shock. "Angel?... Oh, God, Angel" Sobbing out her relief, she buried her face in his shoulder and clung to on him. "Darla, it was Darla" No longer able to keep her emotions in reign, she cried out her frustration into the thin material of his shirt. Liam pulled away. As much as he wanted to hold her and never let her go, this simply wasn't the time or the place. All around them the room was disintegrating, sending showers of scorching cinders in every direction. "We need to get out of here fast. Not giving her time to think, Liam snatched Buffy's small hand between his large fingers

and gripping on for dear life, he pulled her back through the closing air pocket. As the flames licked at their heels, there wasn't time for a prayer, but if there had been, both would have made it as they crashed through what was left of the library door and out into the hallway. ***** In the darkness and the smoke, the school was a maze of endless walkways that seemed to go on forever. A few seconds felt like hours and as the smoke grew and the air thinned, all hopes of ever seeing another sunrise started to fade away. "I.. Can't...Breathe" Exhausted from the heat, loss of blood, and overcome with the smoke, Buffy finally sagged to her knees. Her head was pounding from Darla's assault and her lungs felt as if they were going to implode. Liam stopped and turned back, his worried brown eyes reaching her through the smoke. His skin was covered in sweat and, raising his hand, he wiped away the tiny beads rolling across his forehead. "Leave me. Please, Angel, just leave me and go" Gasping for breath, Buffy choked as the thick toxic smoke attacked the lining of her lungs once again. A swirling wave of dizziness washed over her body and for a moment it left her light headed and disorientated. She felt her insides lurch and when a wave of nausea rose up from her stomach Buffy bent over. Resting her hands on her thighs for support, she violently heaved, but to no avail, there simply wasn't anything left inside of her to come up. When she finally found the strength she needed to lift her head, her tired eyes streamed with tears, as the deadly smoke poisoning her body started to close down her system. Not able to find a quick way-out through the ever-increasing fumes, Buffy was slowly dying on her feet and as much as Angel wanted to deny it, he knew that they had both come to the same realisation. They were just going around in circles. It was now only a matter of what evil took them first. The smoke or the fire. Buffy took a small step forward. "I love you, Angel. I just wanted you to know that" As the words slipped over her lips she started coughing again. In all the madness that was

going on around them Buffy suddenly needed for Angel to know what was in her mind and more importantly, what was in her heart. **She remembered him. She remembered every little detail of their life together and although dying wasn't her first choice for the day, Buffy would carry those regained memories in her heart where ever she was taken** Angel meant the whole world to her. He had and always would be the only love of her life. It no longer mattered what happened that night, as long as her husband survived, Buffy knew that her soul would live on inside of him. She might not make it out but she was determined that he would. For a second she saw a flicker of despair in his dark eyes but it was quickly hidden. "Go. You can get help and..." "Buffy.. No. " Liam angrily shook his head. He could feel the poisonous fumes attacking his own body but he was determined to get them both out alive. He couldn't lose her. No! He wouldn't lose her. Not again! Not like this. It was too fucking unfair to put them both through so much and then rip them apart forever. At her pained expression his dark brown orbs softened as if trying to relay one thing and yet say another. "Come on, we have to get out of here before the whole lot comes down on our heads" He reached out, and entwined his fingers tightly through hers. Drawing renewed strength from the love she saw shining in his eyes, Buffy nodded. Without another word of giving up, they both took off through the smoke. ***** On a different level Just as lost as Buffy and Angel, William found himself in what was once the school cafeteria. Although it hadn't been completely renovated, it was obvious that the workmen had set up their own supplies there and he wasted no time in finding a bottle of drinking water abandoned on the table. Ripping the cap off he downed the liquid in one go, quenching his thirst and cooling the burning in his raw throat. Taking a deep breath, that didn't immediately choke him, he realised with shock that the smoke was much thinner here. Somehow in the darkness he had completely lost direction and much to his dismay, he was now heading in the wrong direction. Away from the fire.

Ahead of him a forgotten window flapped open and just outside was the promise of old age. "Can this day possibly get any worse?" William dropped the bottle he was holding to the floor and with a frustrating sigh; he turned back into the school. Sadly, at that very moment, Will wasn't the only one making mistakes. ***** In a much hotter part of the school. "This way" As Buffy and Liam turned the corner, a sea of flames shot out from a side classroom and completely blocked the path forward. Liam came to a screeching halt and turned. All around them the hallway was now burning from top to bottom. "We have to go back" Buffy's eyes widened in horror as their escape route was closed off. Her last thread of hope dangled, twisted and finally snapped. "I can't, " she pleaded, her tired voice hoarse and breathless. Blood poured down the side of her face from her re-opened head wound and her legs threatened to go on strike. Keeping a cool head Liam tried to catch his own breath. "It looks like there's more than one fire now. We have to keep moving, Buffy, before we get cut off completely. It can't be much further now," he shouted, his heart pounding so hard that he was in danger of cracking a rib. He too was having serious difficulty breathing now and he knew that if they stopped for even a second they might as well lay down and wait for the grim reaper to catch them. The fire was already on their tails and at this rate; it was closing in faster than he could drag them. Not that he would ever tell Buffy. Refusing to lay down and die like a scared animal, Liam ignored her plea for a few more seconds and grabbing Buffy's hand one final time, he pulled her back in the direction they

had just come. Thick smoke followed their every move. "Left or right?" Liam's eyes looked up in despair. In the darkness every turning looked the same. They seemed to be still going around in circles. "I think that's Snyders old office." Buffy gasped the words through her hand as a memory of her old headmaster surfaced through the smoke. The door to the office was locked but not for long. One hard kick and the hinges splintered right off the frame. Buffy and Liam both headed through the open doorway, only to discover to their horror, that the fire had already beaten them there. With a sickening splinter of timbers, the floor gave way, disintegrating under their joint weight. "Angel" Buffy's last coherent thought as her body twisted and fell from the room above, was for her husband and the future they would now never share. ***** "BUFFY!" Liam screamed and watched in horror as his wife lay deadly still on the floor below He lowered himself over the edge of the splintered floor and hanging from one hand he awkwardly dropped down into the wreckage below. His body went down like a dead weight. Liam cried out in agony as his already damaged shoulder took the full impact of his actions. Pushing down the pain, he rolled across the floor, blindly searching for Buffy. He reached her in less than a second but just as he started to check for a pulse, the room above rumbled and shook. Liam lifted his head and was just in time to see the rest of the ceiling cave in on top of them. Without a thought for his own safety, he threw his body at the small girl in front of him, pushing her out of the way and taking the full force of the falling debris. ***** Meanwhile Even through the noise of the fire, William heard Buffy cry as she fell.

Returning from the cafeteria, he had wisely decided to stay on the lower level and pass underneath the fire, rather than try and fight his way through it. The heat was suffocating, he was exhausted, but hearing the sound of Buffy falling sent him running with pure terror. William's legs had never moved so fast as he crashed blindly through the darkness.

****** Buffy and Liam both appeared to be unconscious when William finally found where the floor above had collapsed. Buffy's small frame lay twisted in a painfully unnatural heap, while Liam was pinned beneath part of the collapsed ceiling. Above, the roar of the fire moved ever closer. Dropping to his knees, William's heart raced as he studied the two lifeless forms. He crawled over to Buffy first and talking her small, seemingly, lifeless body in his arms he tried bringing her around by slapping her face. "Come on, love. Don't do this to me" William's open palm smacked against the smoke covered cheek, but no matter how hard he tried, Buffy made no response at all. "I'm so sorry. I should never have let this happen" his pained voice started to crack but Will knew he couldn't allow himself to fall apart now. Although he hadn't set out to kill anybody he was definitely guilty by association and, in the middle of what looked like hell on earth, he promised himself that he would make amends to her even if it were the last thing he ever did. Lowering his ear to Buffy's chest he sighed in relief at the faint beat of her heart. Reluctantly releasing Buffy from his arms, William turned his attention to Liam, who, in obvious pain, was slipping in and out of consciousness. William looked up, and knew the sky above; a mass of orange liquid death would soon be falling. As tiny fires started to burst into life all around him, he knew time was running out fast. William needed to make a decision, and he needed to do it now. ***** With the aid of the air-conditioning vents, new fires were now breaking out all over the school. Darla's plan worked well. Too well. Soaking the halls all around the library had seemed like a great idea when she was pouring the gasoline onto the floor, but with hindsight,

maybe she shouldn't have gone quite so far. Running along the dark hallways she cursed bitterly as she realised that she was now somehow on wrong side of the fire. On arriving at what she had believed was her exit, she found the door heavily locked. Still trapped inside her own fire, Darla kicked at the door in temper and then almost growled as the heel of her designer shoe snapped clean off. "Shit" She swore. The shoe was ruined and as tentacles of smoke curled along the hallway behind her, she realised that maybe arson wasn't such a good idea after all Darla took a deep breath and her body shook with rage and frustration. "I knew I should have just drowned the fucking bitch in the school pool" **** Looking down at the two people at his feet, William knew that there was no decision to make on which one he would save from the fire. He briefly glanced at Liam, his narrowed eyes barely resting on him and as his emotions hardened, he reminded himself that *all was fair in love and war*. "No hard feelings, mate" A sheet of ice covered William's heart as he left the dark haired man to his own fate. Sweeping Buffy's limp form up into his muscular arms he was almost out of the hallway before he heard her softly cry out her husband's name. "Angel" Buffy moaned out the word almost pitifully. Even unconsciously, she seemed to feel her soul being pulled away from its mate. William cursed loudly " Oh, Bollocks" **Don't look back** His whole body urged him to keep on going, to shut out his conscience and just keep moving. It screamed out that he couldn't save them both and if he tried, all three of them would end up as crispy critters. The biggest mistake he made that second was to look down at the girl in his arms. Buffy was filthy and bloodied and her lips were swollen but, despite all of the hardship she had suffered, he still thought she was the most beautiful creature he had ever set eyes on. **Go, you pillock. Take the bleedin' girl and just get the hell out of here**

As he moved her body closer to his chest, Will heard Buffy cry out again for her husband and he jerked when her sad face twisted in pain. "Angel" The sound of the other man's name on her lips wrenched him to his soul. Alive or dead Angel would always be there, forcing his way between them. William tensed; he hated the tug of emotion continually pulling at his conscience. The last thing he wanted to feel at that moment was sympathy. **Let the fucker burn** Biting into his lip until it almost drew blood, William silently cursed his conscience again. He couldn't do It.. Subconsciously, he knew if he left Angelus to burn to death he would see the pain in Buffy's eyes for the rest of her life. No matter how much he wanted her, and no matter how much Liam being dead would make that possible, Will knew he couldn't live with her being in that much pain. Before he could change his mind again, he bent his knees and placed Buffy back on the floor as gently as he could. He then turned and hating every footstep he took, William reluctantly walked back the few feet to the man he envied more than any other person in the world. Grabbing Liam's shoulders he pulled him roughly around to face him. " Get the fuck up" William shook Liam so hard he almost swore he heard more of his broken bones crack. The fire was almost above them and if the dumb bastard wouldn't help save himself, then he could leave him to burn with a clear conscience. With one final slap to the face, Liam winced and opened his eyes. The pain in his chest was almost unbearable. Without needing confirmation, Liam already knew that at least three of his ribs were broken in the fall and his shoulder was now dislocated at the very least. William didn't bother with pleasantries. " Buffy's hurt and I can't carry you both" he tried to shout over the roar of the approaching flames as best as he could, but the smoke that now flooded the lower level muffled the sound. Slightly disorientated Liam lunged for the blonde man. "This is all your fault" His body immediately recoiled in pain.

William just glared. **I knew I should have left you** "Do you want to stay here and argue or do you want to live? "He couldn't stop the sneer that slipped across his face. "Personally, I don't give a rats arse but, by the looks of your wife I'd say she needs to get out of here as soon as possible" William's eyes turned and settled on the small form lying just a few feet up the hallway. Liam followed his gaze and felt his heart fell out of his chest. As much as he hated Pennington, the smug bastard had a valid point. Running a shaky hand through his hair, he nodded and seeing the real danger they were in, ignored the pain feeding on every nerve ending in his body and staggered to his feet. From the way his arm hung uselessly at his side, William knew Liam wasn't in a fit state to carry anyone. With his good deed done for the day, he hurried back to where he had left Buffy and without looking over his shoulder, he picked up her crumpled body with a smirk. **No matter what happens to Liam now, I'll be a hero in her eyes for the rest of her life.** "Straight up and then turn left" Almost grinning, Will barked out the direction and moved quickly ahead. Too much in pain at that moment to protest, and knowing that Buffy's life was all that mattered, Liam pushed down his alpha male pride and followed the younger man carrying his wife. Pennington would get everything he deserved once Buffy was safe. The second they were outside, all bets were off, damn the consequences, he was personally going put the Englishman in the ground for this. ***** With a rush of adrenaline, head down, William burst out of the exit doors he had previously wedged open and staggered down the fire escape with almost a spring in his step. Reaching the safety of the quad, he gently laid the woman in his arms down onto the ground. Moaning gently, Buffy's eyelashes flickered open and her blurred vision tried to focus on the face in front of her.. "Try not to talk, sweetheart. Everything's going to be okay" A masculine hand gently caressed her brow. She blinked twice at the sound of his voice.

William's eyes locked with hers and his left hand lightly brushed along her blistered cheek. In the dim light of the quad, confusion passed over Buffy's pale features, the emotion lingered there for a few seconds until cold reality set in and she realised that she was no longer inside a burning building. The pain she felt in every part of her body was intense but the evening breeze washing over her at that moment brought a cool relief to her burning skin. Then it hit her that something was missing. "Where's Angel?" Buffy's voice was barely a whisper. Her eyes lifted back to William and he felt his heart constrict when he saw the fear they held. "It's all right, luv. He's right behind......" William looked over his shoulder and at the lack of the other presence, he felt his heart sink like a stone. Liam hadn't followed them out after all. He was still somewhere inside the blazing school. Even in her dazed state, Buffy realised that something was terrifyingly wrong. The face of the young man in front of her suddenly lost every trace of colour, leaving his intense blue eyes even more brilliant in the soft light. Tears spilled from her eyes. "I swear he was right behind us, Buffy" Frustration that he had lost sight of the other man in their flight emanated from every bone in his body. He might have wished him dead a few minutes earlier, but wishing and cold reality were two very different things. William's whole body went taut when he saw the anguish and desperation seep into Buffy's tear-filled eyes. At the thought of Angel still trapped inside that building, she felt like her whole world was once again slipping through her fingers. **Angel was the strong one. This wasn't supposed to happen to him.** If her husband was no longer alive Buffy didn't see any point in going on. After everything she had been through the last few months, the prospect of a life without Liam again was just too hard to accept. No longer able to look at the burning building that was possibly suffocating the life out of her lover at that very second, Buffy sadly turned her head away. Her exhausted gaze focused on the man in front of her, silently pleading with him to help her one last time. The raw emotion travelling across William's sharp features made her shiver. As if time slowly reduced to a crawl, every word, every act and every deed between the three of them was playing out for the world to see. With a sinking heart, Buffy took in the injuries that Liam had earlier inflicted on William's handsome face and realised that her pleas would fall on deaf ears. Pennington hated her husband nearly as much as Angel hated

him and there was no way on earth that he would risk his own life to save a man who only a few hours earlier had beaten him senseless. **It's hopeless** With a painful sigh of regret Buffy started losing her struggle to remain conscious and her blood shot eyes closed back over. Lying on the cold grass with both lungs full of toxic smoke, third degree burns on five percent of her body and a badly broken heart, an exhausted Buffy Angelus gave up the fight. The last thing she heard as a wave of darkness washed over her shattered soul and dragged her back down into oblivion was a softly muttered curse. "Oh, bloody Hell" ***** Liam couldn't breathe. His chest tightened and the incredible pain shooting through his left lung told him that it was a lot more than just smoke inhalation closing down his respiratory system. He felt drained. Physically. Mentally. Liam turned his face and through the smoke he could feel the tiny whispers of a cool breeze drifting in from the end of the hallway. Knowing that William had already taken Buffy in that direction and that she was now safe on the outside of the school, his shattered body gave into the pain and the fumes and he slumped down against the wall. **I love you, Angel. I just wanted you to know that** He didn't want to die. Liam wanted nothing more in the world than to hold his wife in his arms one last time and tell her how much he loved her. Sadly, he now feared that it wasn't going to happen. In the thickening smoke and intense heat, he could feel his heartbeat slowing; he could feel the lack of oxygen suffocating his brain. Slowly closing his eyes, Liam could feel his death and he didn't have the strength to fight it. "I love you too" **** **Don't do this. Don't do it** "You need your bleeding head read, mate" William muttered as his body once again faced the smoke and heat of Sunnydale High. **Only someone not in their right mind would willingly walk back into the bloody lion's

den like this** **Insanity or love. Take your bloody pick, either way it wasn't doing him any favours.** William found what he was looking for thirty feet from the exit. His heartbeat thundered and with a rush of strength he didn't know he possessed, he picked up the much larger man and begrudgingly threw him across his shoulders. Liam cried out in agonising pain but there wasn't time to go easy. "I should have been a fireman not a bloody poet" **** Dropping to his knees and gasping for breath, William unceremoniously rolled Liam from his aching shoulders and dumped him down on the grass a few feet from his wife. With a thud, Liam groaned out as his broken bones once again made contact with the hard ground. At the chilling sound, Will lifted his eyes but at that moment in time he didn't think he could move even if he tried. Buffy had been as light as a feather but the other sod; he had been so heavy it had almost broken his back. "Remind me never to do anything as stupid as that again" Clutching his chest with his hand, William gasped for another lungful of air. Aching from head to toe, Liam rolled onto his side and slowly pulled himself up on his knees. He raised the arm that wasn't hanging out of its socket and wiped the sweat and dirt from his eyes. "For what its worth...." Liam didn't get time to finish the statement. At that moment the air was filled with the sound of hysterical screaming. Both men turned back to the building at the same time. A look of horror graced both their faces. "Oh.." Liam started to speak as his eyes made out the source of the screaming. "Shit!" In the same state of disbelief William finished the sentence for him. "Help me" Darla's terrified screams burst from a broken window at the top of the building. By this time the whole school was glowing in the dark night as the fire staked its claim on everything inside. William closed his eyes trying to cut out the picture of his sister surrounded by flames, but the image remained stencilled into his head. With a deep weary sigh, he pulled his exhausted body slowly back to his feet. At the sudden movement Liam turned his head.

"You can't be seriously thinking of going back in there?" He gasped out in disbelief. Liam didn't need to be a mind reader to realised what Pennington intended. His determination was written clearly across his smoke-covered face. When William didn't answer Liam tried again to make him see sense; he owed him that much and maybe a whole lot more. "Don't be insane, its suicide" He tried desperately to reason with the younger man. Darla wasn't just a few feet inside this time; she was realistically cut off from any chance of salvation. Lifting up his hand William ran his dirty fingers through his hair and drew in a deep shaking breath. "I have to try...... She might be a lunatic but she's still my sister." His voice trailed off, and he tried to swallow the fear clogging his throat Even with his broken ribs and his shoulder badly dislocated, Liam still managed to grip the smaller man's shirt. His long fingers twisting in the ruined cotton. "It was her choice" He argued, pain distorting his features. The bitterness in Liam's voice wasn't missed on either of them. Darla had made her bed and now she could burn in it for all he was concerned. Buffy had almost died that night and he would never forgive her for that. Eyes filled with grief, the English man sadly shook his head. He couldn't think of all the evilness his sister had just put them through. At the end of the day Darla was still his blood, his only kin, and in his own way he was as much to blame for her actions as she was. Because of his passion for Buffy he had willingly encouraged his sister's twisted obsession. If he had taken more time to really understand her feelings, then maybe none of them would be fighting for their lives that night. When he finally spoke a mixture of pain, frustration and helplessness touched every word. "Sometimes we don't have a choice" William coughed then, his scorched lungs screaming out in protest at the prospect of inhaling more smoke. Turning his head towards Buffy, his gaze swept over the unconscious form that he knew without a doubt he would love for the rest of his life. **Another man's wife**

In that frozen second in time, his whole being longed for the beautiful blonde girl. He longed for an impossible dream that would forever be just out of his reach. **She doesn't love you. She never loved you** "Tell Buffy that I...." Will's voice trembled as his eyes caressed her slight figure one final time. Then in less than a heartbeat, he ripped his eyes away. Above, Darla's distant screams once again filled the air as the fire raged ever closer to the rooftops Cutting out her terror for a microsecond, William turned his face back to the man he both hated and envied with a passion. Liam was everything he despised and yet he was still everything he wanted to be. Their eyes met and held and in that stilled moment in time, both men knew that after this night, their lives would never be the same again. The next time William spoke he made his feelings perfectly clear. He took a deep breath and let go of the past. "Tell Buffy that I said goodbye" All traces of jealousy and bitterness were gone from his voice, leaving just the barest hint of regret in his tone. He'd paid his debt to both Buffy and Liam and now it was time to close this chapter once and for all. Their eyes then locked, and in that instant, both men could see their destinies. "Nooooo" Liam lunged forward but, by the time he had pulled himself across the quad, the poet had already disappeared back up the fire escape and into the burning building. "You stupid, stupid bastard" Staring at the empty staircase, Liam sank to his knees in utter frustration. ***** Fuelled by adrenaline William felt his heartbeat quicken, the blood pulsating through his veins at a frantic rate. Determination, like a grim death mask, set across his features as he took the stairs to the roof two at a time. He wasn't completely stupid. In his heart he knew the first second he saw Darla screaming from the upper storey window, that reaching her was impossible. Most of that part of the building was now an inferno, devouring every stick of furniture and lick of paint that crossed its path.

Liam was right, it was suicide but it still didn't stop him from trying. Rushing into the depths of hell, he knew realistically that he wasn't going to save his sister that night, he was going to die right alongside her. William wasn't even being noble or self-sacrificing. In a way he was being a coward, taking the easy way out. This way there were no questions to answer. No prison food to choke on. No keeping his lily-white arse pressed up against the wall for the rest of his incarcerated life and, more importantly, no endless years of knowing that the love of his life didn't love him in return. No, running head on into a blazing school was definitely the easier option. Long before he reached the top of the stairs flying cinders caught his clothing alight. William closed down the pain and focused all of his last thoughts on the woman that he would always love but was destined never to have. Not in this lifetime and more than likely not in the next. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd always known that she belonged with Liam Angelus. Soul mates and all that bollocks. **She was never mine** A vision of Buffy's smile seared onto his memory and, at that moment, the agony scorching his body seemed to slightly ease. He couldn't save Darla but he had saved Buffy. Resting in peace would come easier knowing that he wasn't a totally evil git after all. With a blistering crack the stairs supporting his weight disintegrated. "Buffy" Almost like a silent prayer, her name slipped softly from his lips as he fell. The crackling flames enveloped him in a heartbeat Dying seemed to take forever but, when at last it did come, William's demise was filled with visions of large hazel eyes and hair the colour of sweet corn. As the skin on his once perfect body peeled away with the heat, melting the muscles and tendons to the bone, William Pennington's agonising screams died in his throat. For the young poet who wrote endless words of passion but never found a love of his own, Death, when it arrived was a truly welcome relief. ***** Outside Liam staggered to his feet and supporting his broken ribs with his left arm, he stumbled towards the school. He didn't think of the consequences, he didn't have time to. All that mattered was stopping Pennington from throwing his life away, especially after he had

just saved both his and Buffy's. As he reached the bottom of the fire escape, a final explosion shook the whole building to its foundations when the blaze inside made contact with the newly installed boilers. In the aftermath that followed, a shower of glass and debris rained down from every window that was left standing and the sky above the High School was filled with black swirling clouds, blocking out both the moon and most of the stars. Almost in the blink of an eye, the school, Darla Penn and the poet William Pennington were gone. ***** Brushing the glass from his dirty hair, a badly shaken Liam coughed, his lungs only managing short painful gasps. When the ringing in his ears from the explosion subsided, it was replaced with the high pitch sound of sirens filling the air. Flashing lights, emergency vehicles and a town full of help was all closing in to try and save what was left of the still smouldering school. Just one glance at the destruction in front of him confirmed that they would be too late. Turning away Liam winced and ignoring the nauseating pain coming from at least three broken ribs, he tried to pull himself to his knees. "Buffy?" He saw her through the smoke and his stomach plummeted. Liam closed the short distance between them and, half-stumbling and half-falling; he dropped to the ground by her side. He ignored all the madness around him, but as he reached out to stroke her hair, his hand trembled with fear. She looked so lifeless. Like a dirty broken doll carelessly thrown aside. Her once golden skin was now burned red and blistering. Her lips were cracked and bleeding. Her blonde hair was singed and discoloured by the black smoke but the most terrifying of all was the waxen look that covered her face. All the fight and determination that he had always adored about her had simply drained away. Liam pulled his wife into his arms and, hardly noticing his own pain, softly cradled her small form against his chest. She was so still, still and pale. He gently stroked her cheek, brushing her hair away from her face "Don't leave me, Buffy. Not again. Never again" he pressed his lips to her head and even through the strong tang of smoke, he could taste the blood that matted her hair. She was

so small, so fragile looking and Angel knew that if he lost her again his heart would never recover. As they sat there in what looked like the middle of a war zone, his concerned eyes never left her face. Silent tears slid down his cheeks as he continued to cling to her hand. Buffy didn't move. Before Liam had a chance to grieve, the outside world came crashing in with a roar of activity. Pulling his wife from his arms. "Alright son, we'll take over now" Gently pushing Liam to the side the first two paramedics on the scene rolled the unconscious girl onto her back. "Breathing's stopped. Have we got a pulse?" "No. Nothing" As his fears took on terrifying reality, Liam felt as if his own heart had stopped beating. All of a sudden, his abused lungs were missing a vital breath of air. **It can't end like this. It can't** The words chanted over and over in his head as he watched the paramedics start CPR. Over and over they pressed at her small chest, willing the organ behind her ribcage to pick up its tired beat. "Anything yet?" One breath, five compressions. "No. Still nothing." One breath, five compressions. "Come on sweetheart. You can do it" One breath, five compressions. "I've got the adrenaline" One breath, five compressions "Wait a second"

One breath... Beat. Beat. Beat. "I've got a pulse. It's very weak but it's definitely there" ***** First there was nothing. A safe, black void of nothingness that wrapped her tightly in its' embrace and refused to let go. The darkness was peaceful, calm and cool and she was so hot. Even lost in the silent vortex, she withered and burned. Buffy didn't want peace, she didn't want rest and she didn't want calm. She just wanted to live. So, with that thought as her lifeline, she rejected the easy road and like a warrior she fought. Slowly, after what seemed like forever, the darkness receded and the black of her world started to let in grey shards of light. Buffy timidly opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was pain. Buffy ached all over, from the pounding in her head to the tingling in her toes; no part of her body was spared. But pain was good. Pain meant she was still alive. **Wherever alive might be** Turning her head ever so slightly she noticed she was in a small room. Small, white, with a strong smell of disinfectant and something she couldn't quite put her mind to... ** Flowers**

**That was it** The fragrance of fresh cut flowers fought its way bravely through the sanitised aura of the room. A sharp intake of breath confirmed the flowers in question were roses. **Long stemmed and yellow** As the perfume filled her senses her mind was flooded with memories. **People screaming. Fire. Death** The strongest feeling of dj vu closed in on her. **Been here, done this, already got the nightshift and the scars** Blinking against the light that was flooding across the sterilised room, Buffy slowly turned her head and shivered. Once again Angel was at a window standing just as she had first seen him that fateful morning in New York. Seemingly gazing into nothingness, his broad shoulders hunched slightly under a dark crumpled shirt and one hand was thrust into the pocket of equally dark trousers, stretching the fabric over his lean hips. At the vision another rush of dj vu came crashing over her in wave after tumbling wave. Gripping the side of the bed, and ignoring the IV in the back of her hand, Buffy took a deep steadying breath. Everything looked so similar. If it weren't for a new pain throbbing all around her body, she would have sworn that the last few weeks were nothing but a terrible nightmare. Sadly, the red blistering of her skin told her otherwise. It was real enough. Too real. The sling supporting Liam's right arm was further proof of that. Not really sure how to break the ice, Buffy spoke quietly through the silence, her tone gently teasing. "We really must stop meeting like this" At the sound of her hoarse voice, Liam turned in a heartbeat. His dark worried eyes, redrimmed with fatigue, immediately searched her face for signs that her memory was still intact. When she first failed to wake up her doctors had tried to eradicate his fears, promising that his wife's condition was nowhere near as serious as it first appeared. Liam wasn't convinced. After everything that had happened these last few days, he was terrified that her memory would be lost forever.

The soft expression that caressed her features soon alleviated his fear. Not only did she recognise him but she also loved him. Buffy took a moment to really look at him and the dark lines of worry crossing his handsome face melted her heart. With the whisper of a smile she tried to sit herself up but the jerky movement brought on an unexpected bout of coughing. Almost bending in half, the angry spasms racked her small frame as she fought to catch her breath. Liam crossed the room and, picking up the jug from the small bedside cabinet, quickly poured her a glass of water. Buffy accepted it gratefully and, as she swallowed the cool liquid, the burning inside her throat subsided for a few blissful seconds. Reaching out his uninjured hand, Liam softly stroked her back and quietly reassured her that the damage done her lungs would heal over time. "You inhaled a lot of smoke but the effects are only temporary." Looking up to meet his eyes, Buffy nodded her head that she understood, then raised her hand to her face and traced her fingers over the fresh pink skin on her cheek. Almost as if he could read her mind, Liam saw the new dread reflecting in her eyes. He gently brushed her hair back from her forehead and after trailing his fingertip down her nose and across her lips, he let his hand rest lightly against her warm cheek. "Don't worry about your scars, they will heal completely" His voice was soft and the warmth of it flowed over her and soothed her fears. Unable to contain her relief at hearing his words Buffy turned her head into his hand and softly kissed his palm. She then sank back into her hard starched pillow and let all the new memories she was remembering replay in her mind. As Liam watched the emotions play across her pale features, he knew there was no avoiding the next question. His eyes locked with hers and he hesitated, but only for a second. He took a none too steady breath and rubbed his hand around the back of his neck. "Do you.. Do you remember what happened at the High School" Buffy nodded slowly and the tears brimming in her eyes told Liam that sadly, she remembered the details of the fire only too well. There were a few gaps in the story that needed filling in but these missing moments were not due to lack of memory, just the simple lack of being conscious.

"I remember being inside the school but after we fell it all gets a little confusing " she whispered as the memory flared up inside her head. One moment she was crashing through the floor and the next she was outside with William in the cool air. Liam nodded. It was to be expected and, in a way, he was glad that she didn't have to live with any more of the horror than was necessary. "The last thing I remember was thinking that you were dead," Buffy said sadly. Liam just nodded. "I know the feeling" His strange reply left her feeling even more confused. "Buffy, I think you should know that there are people that will want to talk to you as soon as you're up to it. I've told them as much as I could but I wasn't a great help. I think we were both very much in the dark these last few months" Liam's low voice was tinged with a mixture of resentment and regret. Resentment that he hadn't seen through Darla Penn a whole lot sooner and regret that he hadn't stopped her before it had cost people their lives. Buffy could read the angst in her husband's eyes only too well but there was no emotion in her voice at all when she asked about the other woman's fate. "What happened to Darla?" Her gaze clung to his dark features. Liam watched her carefully. He knew there was no point in putting off the inevitable, she would have to know the truth sooner or later. He took a small breath and went straight to the point. "She's dead" Buffy just nodded, as if the information was simply too painful to talk about. Her only regret about the news was that she feared she would see Darla burning to death in her nightmares for years to come. So much loathing for one person to carry was something she would never get her mind around. Closing her eyes for a moment, Buffy fought the tears building behind her swollen lids but she refused to cry. Darla Penn didn't deserve her tears. "She must have hated me so much." Her voice cracked, but she caught the sob in her throat keeping her promise of no tears..

"Sweetheart, she was insane. The police found all the evidence they needed in her diaries. It seems she's been gunning for you for most of her twisted life. Her jealousy of you and her sick obsession with me brought it all to a head." Liam saw his wife's eyes cloud in pain but she quickly pushed the emotion away.. "I know. She found great delight in telling me just how my being alive ruined her life. She planned for me to disappear again, hoping that you would fall into her waiting arms. I hope the bitch burns in Hell." Buffy took a deep calming breath and closed her eyes, forcing herself to think of the future instead of dwelling on the past. If she didn't let go of her own anger, she was likely to end up as insane as the woman that had almost killed her. Liam stood silently as his wife confronted her demons. Her eyes opened and lifted to his and he felt his heart contract as he saw the turmoil they held. "Buffy, there really is no need to worry about Darla anymore, its over now. This whole sick masquerade is over. " He paused, just long enough to give Buffy the distinct impression that there was still something he was not telling her. "Is there anything else, Angel?" She prompted gently, preferring to get all of the bad news over and done with in one sitting Liam perched on the side of the bed. He looked at her for a long moment; his dark eyes mixed with an array of emotions she couldn't quite place. He then lifted his wife's hand and softly stroked her fingers. "Yes." **Tell Buffy that I said goodbye** Taking a deep breath, he knew this was going to be the most difficult part of the story. It was the part he knew he would never understand himself. The man he had always hated had suddenly gone from being a stalker, to a hero, to a corpse, all in the blink of an eye. "Well," he started slowly, carefully watching his wife's reactions. **Oh, bloody hell** Almost as if she knew what was coming next Buffy felt her throat start to thicken, she closed her eyes and a single tear slipped silently down her cheek. "It seems I was wrong about William Pennington, Buffy.... Maybe he wasn't such a

bastard after all" ****** Seven days later Buffy stood calmly composed, with just the flicker of a soft breeze gently teasing at her hair. The warm golden rays of the sun trickled down through the trees and washed over her skin but sadly, she felt none of its heat that day. Dressed in a simple black dress she watched in silence as the elegant coffin slid effortlessly into the rich American soil. With no family on either side of the Atlantic, it was decided to bury William Pennington in the town he was once desperate to leave but, in the end, found that he never could. Now, on a bright sunny afternoon at Restfield cemetery, it no longer mattered. With no family to claim him, the troubled young poet would rest alongside his sister in Sunnydale for all eternity. At first, everyone had tried to talk Buffy out of going to the funeral, stating that it would be far too distressing. But, stubborn to the last, the determined young woman plastered on her resolve face and threatened to discharge herself if she wasn't released. Surprisingly, Angel had been her only ally that day. He not only supported her decision to say goodbye to the man who had helped save her life, but he also insisted on going along with her. The past was going to be laid to rest that afternoon and, deep in his heart, he understood that good-byes were needed for all of them. The day, like nearly every other day in Sunnydale was bright and sunny and although there was a great interest in the double funeral, one being a nearly famous poet and the other a lunatic arsonist, the burial was kept to close friends only. Sadly, that meant in the end you could count the actual mourners on two hands. Hidden from the curious masses, two flower-covered coffins had stood in a small corner of the cemetery, shaded by a hundred-year-old willow tree. Even though it was a joint ceremony, only one of the coffins was actually occupied. It was no secret that when the boilers at the high school exploded on the night of the fire, the intense blaze that ripped through the roof cremated everything in its path. When the fire was finally extinguished William's charred remains had been discovered in the basement, but even after an extensive search of the ashes, all that was left of Darla Penn was a few pieces of expensive jewellery. That and the legacy of being an insane, cold-hearted bitch who, single-handed had finally destroyed Sunnydale High School forever. Darla wouldn't be mourned or missed. William, on the other hand was a different story. Losing his young life in a futile attempt

to save his sick sister meant his death would be remembered as something heroic. Both Buffy and Liam decided that the world didn't need to know any different. "Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust" Buffy eyes focused on the falling earth as it crashed down on top of the coffin but her mind was somewhere else at that moment. Suddenly she found herself thrown back into the past that she now could remember with heartbreaking clarity. **I've been in Hell now for the last two years. I didn't want to fall in love with you. I knew it was wrong, but I had no choice. You're in my gut, in my throat, I'm drowning in you Summers, I'm drowning in you** **After what you've put me through there's nothing you could say that I would believe. I could never love a man like you... You're beneath me** **You're beneath me** **Six feet beneath me** Pulling herself out of her reverie Buffy leant slightly forward and dropped the single yellow rose she was holding in her right hand down onto the coffin lid below. A tiny sigh slipped into her voice as put the horrors of the past few months firmly behind her. "Good-bye, William" She didn't cry. After the last few weeks, Buffy doubted that she would ever be able to really cry again. She watched as the delicate flower came to its final resting-place alongside a man she would never love but also knew she could never hate. She wasn't fooling herself, Buffy understood only too well how close William had come to helping Darla destroy her life but, when push came to shove, he showed his true colours and was there when she really needed him. **I was wrong about William Pennington, Buffy. Maybe he wasn't such a bastard after all** Albeit reluctantly, William had also been there when Angel needed him and that in itself warranted her forgiveness. "Thank you" Her soft words were whispered over the graveside so quietly that only the warm breeze heard their sound. The breeze and maybe, just maybe, the person they were meant for. Turning her head slightly, Buffy lifted her eyes to where her real love was still waiting and the smile he gave her wrenched at her heart. Angel loved her. After everything that had happened between them over the last five months, the love, the passion, and the

desire her husband held for her still shone blatantly from the depths of his dark chocolate eyes. An expression that she knew she mirrored to perfection Squaring her small shoulders, Buffy took a quick, sharp breath and stepping away from the open graveside, she shivered on realising just how many times she had come close to losing her husband. Time after time fate had stepped in and saved the day. The return of her memory was a blessing but she didn't really need it to know how she felt about Angel. No one would ever come between them. Liam *Angel* Angelus would always be the love of her life. Without realising that he had approached her, a strong arm wrapped its way around her small shoulders, pulling her into the comfort of his body. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" Liam's soft words startled her out of her reverie as his warm breath tickled against her ear. A smile graced Buffy's lips for the first time that day. "I'm not sure" Her eyes twinkled before adding "Maybe you should tell me again just in case I forget" With a soft groan, Liam rolled his eyes and slipped his left hand around her small waist. Her arms crept around his body and he tightened, rocking her against him as if he would never let her go. Buffy could feel the bandages that were still strapping his ribs so she leaned her head carefully against his chest. "I think we've had enough amnesia in our lives to last us life time." He teased softly. Buffy just smiled "Me too" Not wanting to end the moment, Liam gently ran his fingers down her back, drawing feather-light circles over the thin material of her black dress. Reaching up on tiptoes Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, winding her fingers in his hair. " I was thinking. The way trouble seems to follow us around lately, maybe we should just go home where it's nice and safe." His mouth leant closer, his lips almost tasting her breath " We can lock all the doors, scramble under the covers and maybe get around to that night of red hot sex you promised me?."

Buffy quirked a suspicious eyebrow "I promised you?" Liam smiled and brushed a kiss to her lips. "You did. I clearly remember" She shook her head but her expression was soft and teasing. "Well, I guess there must still be a few parts missing from my memory after all" Liam chuckled and the undertone of his reply sent a shiver running down both their spines.. "Don't worry. I'll soon help you remember" His fingers moved lower, gently teasing every nerve ending in her body.. Buffy pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes and lose herself in his smile. At that moment, all thoughts of amnesia and the pain they had faced over the last few months were pushed away. A blush of colour crept into her cheeks at the thought of their promise. Suddenly it felt like a lifetime since she had been in his bed, or even in his arms. "That sounds fair to me... Lets go home, lock all those doors, and then you can start on helping me to remember" She whispered seductively into his ear and silently promised, that no matter what the future held for them, she would never leave his side again. Closing that chapter on their lives, the two lovers entwined their fingers and walked away from the two open graves without a backward. glance. ***** Epilogue Four weeks later

The petite female moved slowly along the aisle. Each painful step an effort in itself. Her eyes, covered by dark sunglasses searched along the row of numbers and, on locating her place, she slipped quietly into the soft window seat. "Would you like a magazine?" The flight attendant smiled as she held out a copy of the

early issue Without a word the passenger nodded and reached out a gloved hand. If the attendant noticed her trembling fingers she didn't remark on it. "Such a terrible way to die" The passenger looked across at the front page of the glossy and a shiver passed over her soul. Along with a smiling picture, the headlines carried the full story of the poet William Pennington's heroic demise. His funeral and the plans for a memorial. Slipping off her glasses, Darla wiped the tears away from her pink, scarred cheeks and turning her face away from the other passengers, she glanced out of the small side window. Outside, the sun was just rising on what promised to be a beautiful day but, for the female hiding away in first class, she didn't see the beauty in anything any more. Flicking through the magazine pages, Darla ignored the searing pain in her fingers and on finding the full story, she hungrily devoured e very printed word. **Two dead in High School blaze.** William Pennington had died along with his sister in a blaze that completely destroyed Sunnydale High School. Darla would have smiled if her face weren't so badly scarred. From the interview in the magazine, it seemed that the whole world now believed she was dead.. No one was looking for her. It was a good start. With that reassuring thought the passenger closed her eyes. Her ex-lover, Parker might have been a violent prick but when she really needed him he had surprisingly come through for her. Okay, it had cost her most of her inheritance but Parker had managed to get her out of Sunnydale and into a private burns clinic without any real questions asked. Darla would never really know how she managed to survive the fire that night. Maybe fate had played yet another twisted hand. When the roof exploded she was still clinging to the fire escape and with the force of the explosion, the twisted metal had carried her to a relatively safe dropping distance. While the rest of Sunnydale was centred on the other side of the building, she had somehow managed to find her car and, in too much shock to feel the pain of her burns, she had disappeared into the night. As the quiet unobserved female started to turn the pages of her magazine, a small article in the corner caught her attention. A tiny picture of Buffy and Liam loomed up from the page and taunted her with their annoying survival. In the photograph Liam appeared to be wearing a sling and Buffy looked like shit but both were smiling and holding hands as

they left the hospital a few weeks earlier. While Darla continued to glare at the picture, the engines roared into life and the plane started its course along the runway, slowly lifting into the brilliant morning skyline. Twenty minutes later she was still lost in a world of her own. A world that believed she was dead and now allowed her to move freely without fear of reprisals. As the plane slowly turned away from the small town below and headed out for LA, she carefully tore the picture of the two lovebirds from the magazine. Holding it carefully between her gloved fingers, Darla proceeded to tear Buffy's image away from Liam's side. Running her finger over his blurred dark features Darla Penn's insane, vengeful mind raced with a million new possibilities. "Don't you get too comfortable now, lover. This is not over... This will never be over" The End.. ;o)