ROULEZ
T H E N E W S L E T T E R F O R A N D A B O U T T H E S E R I O U S M I L L E B O R N E S P L AY E R
ROULEZ
Summer 1994
No. 6
Editorial......................1
Q & A .........................2
Card Interview..........3
Balance ......................4
Card Interview..........5
Kratochvil .................6
Cribbage ....................7
A.D. Volant .................9
World Cup ..............11
Editorial
Bornes Fans Bid Card Adieu
by Brett Sonnenschein,
Editor and Publisher
The Mille Bornes world was shocked
recently by the sudden retirement of the
Increvable card. The 75-year old chemist is
known throughout the gaming and chem-
istry worlds for his good nature, intellect,
grace and imperviousness to all punctures.
He is also the first Mille Bornes card to
retire. Increvable or “Inky” to his friends,
will settle down in Tahiti where he has
long maintained a vacation home.
Born to humble but proud parents in the
south of France, Increvable worked his way
through the Sorbonne where he received
Speed—At What Price? by Daniel Kratochvil, B.A., M.A.
Safe trip bonus be damned, I have to get home and nominate
ROULEZ for a MacArthur Foundation Genius grant!
his Ph.D. in chemistry at the age of 20.
Fleeing France during World War II,
Increvable worked on the Manhattan
Project where he met his wife, Lucille.
After the war, he returned to France where
he quickly assumed a place in the pan-
theon of such great French scientists as
Louis Pasteur and Marie Curie. His signing
by Edmond Dujardin shocked many but
gave Mille Bornes the intellectual stature it
needed in its early days. Long known as
the most brilliant of the cards, he once
hosted a monthly salon known as the
“Increvable Round Table.” It was an intel-
lectual “must see” in the Paris of the six-
ties and seventies. Among
those regulars attending over
the years were Niels Bohr,
Albert Camus, Michel Foucault,
Dennis Hopper and the 100-
mile card. Sometime in the
early sixties, in an event
shrouded in mystery,
Increvable took a bullet for
Charles DeGaulle, saving the
then-president of France’s life.
A thinly disguised version of
this event is related in Frederick
Forsyth’s The Day of The Jackal.
At his farewell press confer-
ence Increvable stressed his love
of Mille Bornes and regarded as
his only regrets France’s refusal
to cease nuclear testing and
Parker Brothers’ use of new art
on the Mille Bornes deck.
 Getting Up To Speed On
The New Increvable
In order to get a grip on the recent controversy B: Is that true? I mean the Dutch won anyway.
over the selection of the new Increvable card, M: Hard to say, Remmerswaal’s play was almost
ROULEZ editor and publisher, Brett Sonnenschein McQueen-like. But an Increvable had to be picked
recently conducted a Q & A with Miles Bourne, or all Mille Bornes would cease. And the old
gaming expert and confidant of many in the Mille Increvable said Remmerswaal was the best person
Bornes deck. for the job.
Brett: How does this affect me? B: But Miles, the Mille Bornes world thrives on contro-
Miles: Not at all. Everyone will be able to play Mille versy and rumors of conspiracy, is that it?
Bornes exactly as before using the Increvable card in M: Nope. Officials of Dujardin International and
exactly the same way. No rules have been changed. Parker Brothers held a secret all night selection
B: So what’s the fuss? Why am I devoting half my issue meeting and no one is saying what deals were
to this? made. It sure looks suspicious.
M: What’s the fuss? Well, for one, Ulla B: I guess. What are Ulla Remmerswaal’s qualifica-
Remmerswaal, the new Increvable, is the first tions? I know a lot of Mille Bornes fans out there are
female card and the first card not from France or concerned she won’t do as good a job as the original
the United States. Increvable.
B: Nothing wrong with that. A: Well, she was a lab assistant to the original
M: Well, yeah. But she was the star of the Dutch Increvable for about a year, she’s a brilliant Mille
Mille Bornes World Cup (MBWC) team. She had to Bornes player and she once worked as a movie stunt
quit the team the day before their big game with car driver in Bombay, India using the name Laura
France. There was a riot in Rotterdam. People are Gondwana.
saying the French and Americans conspired to B: Huh. This must really upset the Roue de Secours
wreck the chances of the Dutch team. (Spare Tire).
M: Well, he’s not talking, but a source I have
ROULEZ ©1994 says he’s fuming.
Editor and Publisher: Brett Sonnenschein B: Who would that be?
Contributing Editors: Miles Bourne, Daniel Kratochvil B.A., M.A., M: My source?
Moira O’Keeffe, Buck Stevens, B: Yeah, who’s your source, you can tell me.
A.D. Volant M: OK, it’s the Repair card.
Art: Steve Buccellato, B: You know Miles, this whole thing sounds
Daniel Kratochvil, B.A, M.A.
screwy to me, are you you sure this really hap-
pened? I mean I’ve never actually met any of
Mille Bornes is Parker Brothers’ registered trademark for its
French card game equipment. Rules and game copyright Parker these cards you claim to have talked to.
Brothers. ROULEZ is affiliated in no way with Parker Brothers or M: Are you calling me a liar? You printed my
Kenner Parker Toys Inc. and the publisher of ROULEZ is solely interviews and you couldn’t print those if
responsible for its content. they weren’t true.
Subscriptions: $1.50 for one issue, $5 for four issues. Make checks B: I guess you’re right.
payable to Brett Sonnenschein. ROULEZ is published quarterly. M: I’m insulted, Brett.
We accept trades. Send us your zines. Submissions welcome. B: Let’s just drop it, I have a headache.
“I think it would be fun to run a newspaper.” – Charles Foster Kane. M: Well, I’m glad I could help clear things up.

Roulez Summer 1994 Page 2

“ I often told DeGaulle he was a great man, almost great enough to be a Mille Bornes card.”
A Farewell Interview With The Old Increvable
by Miles Bourne,
Contributing Editor
I like to pretend that the Mille Bornes cards are
real people and I can talk to them. I thought I
would seek out the old Increvable. The grand old
man of Mille Bornes now spends his days on the
beaches of Tahiti with his charming wife Lucille.
Roulez: Monsieur Increvable…
Increvable: Please call me Inky.
R: OK, Inky. Why the decision to, if you’ll forgive
the pun, retire?
I: Well, Miles. I felt I had just traveled the road as
far as I could. It was time to pull over and give up
the wheel to someone new. I didn’t want to
become a burden, to slow down the rest of the
pack. The lug nuts were a little loose, the brake
pads were wearing thin. I thought I’d play it safe
instead of seeing how long I could drive before I
had a mishap.
R: Well put and quite a series of metaphors. Do you
miss the excitement of the game?
I: Oh, at times, but there is so much more to me
than Mille Bornes, you know what I mean, Miles,
don’t you?
R: Sort of.
I: There is my family, my friends, my scientific
work, Greenpeace, my writing, my painting.
R: Oh, yeah. Do you have any Edmond Dujardin
stories you’d like to share with us?
I: Dujardin knew he needed a big name like myself
to get people to notice Mille Bornes. I was intrigued
by the idea, but hesitant. He tried money, but
money means nothing to me, he tried power, but I
knew I was not right for the Véhicule Prioritaire.
R: Excuse me, but you could have been the Right
Of Way? The most powerful card in all of France?
I: It was not for me. Finally, Dujardin invited me to
his country home in Arcachon where his son
Patrick was playing Mille Bornes with some local
children. Edmond put his hand on my shoulder and
said, “If you choose to be the Increvable, all I can
promise you is you will bring joy to millions.” I
could not resist.
R: Excuse me, Inky, just some sand in my eye…
I: I understand.
R: Is it true you once took a bullet for DeGaulle?
I: I’ll just say this, I often told DeGaulle he was a
great man, almost great enough to be a Mille Bornes
card. He would always laugh at that.
R: Ulla Remmerswaal, the new Increvable, was your
lab assistant a few years ago. What was she like?
I: She was and is a genius. She is far more qualified
to be the Increvable than I was when I started.
R: Any last thoughts for us, Inky?
I: The cards don’t make the game, the players make
the game. I’m just hope I’ve left this place a little
better than I found it.
R: God bless you, Inky.
Roulez Summer 1994 Page 3
 New Mille Bornes Fiction
Balance Chapter Six: Don’t Worry
Boys, The Next Round Is On Me
by Brett Sonnenschein,
Editor and Publisher
For some, truth is easily discarded like yesterday’s papers
or an ancient tissue at the bottom of a pocket. For others,
it is a dear commodity difficult to grasp, rare air if you
will. Sometimes, the truth lies beyond our fingertips and
we remain a day late and a dollar short. Other moments,
the truth rains down on us soaking us, blinding us, con-
fusing us. Balance is about truth but it is fiction. It is the
story of Edmond Dujardin and the invention of Mille
Bornes but it is not true. That doesn’t mean it didn’t hap-
pen. In the last chapter, Dujardin, Ho Chi Minh and the
Argentine Sanchez twins escaped the clutches of the mob,
collected Ho’s debt with interest and went to Peter Lugar’s
Steak House where they were captured by Joey Gallo. On
this day in 1954, dreams will be shattered, preconceptions
will be destroyed, continents will drift. The fate of nations
hangs in the…balance.
Gallo grabbed a towel and covered his gun. He
directed Edmond, Ho and the Sanchezes out the door.
“Drive, Frog Boy,” Gallo sputtered.
Edmond glared at Gallo, “Is that a crack?”
Gallo waved his gun, “Shut up and drive. You’ve
had enough excitement for ten lives but that doesn’t
mean I have to hear about it.”
They drove in the twilight through Williamsburg
and into Red Hook. Gallo smiled.
“This is where I come from, maybe not as exotic as
you guys but it means a lot to me. When I get your
money, Ho, I’ll be able to indulge my dream of con-
trolling the New York mob.”
“I hate to stand in the way of a man indulging his
dream but no dice,” Edmond said.
“You got no choice, where’s the loot, the green
stuff, the stash, the dough-re-me?”
Edmond sneered, a cold, wicked sneer that some
say only a Frenchman can produce. He stuck his right
hand between his legs.
“I’ve got your money right here, Joey.”
Gallo coughed a laugh. “That’s an old joke…”
Roulez Winter 1994 Page 4
But Dujardin added a new twist as he reached
below the seat to produce a shotgun. Faster than a
New York stoplight he had his finger on the trigger.
The shell missed Gallo by inches shattering not his
body but his nerve. The effect was almost as deadly.
His gun fell and he lunged backwards. Ho jumped up
and opened the front door sending Gallo into the
street. Dujardin accelerated.
“Don’t be embarrassed Joey, Reinhold Heydrich fell
for the same trick!” shouted Dujardin.
Esteban slapped Dujardin on the shoulder, “Again,
when I think your bag of tricks is empty, you do the
impossible. You have, I don’t know how to describe
it…”
“Cajones?” Ho suggested.
The car was filled with laughter.
Two hours later they were on their third pitcher at a
bar in Coney Island.
“We’re not safe here,” Edmond said “We’ve got to
get out of Brooklyn.”
“What about the airports?” Ho said. “I think they’re
expecting us to go back to the ship not there.”
Edmond shrugged. “As good an idea as any. Let’s
finish the pitcher and go.”
“Wait,” Ho said. Unsteadily he rose to his feet.
“Looks like Uncle Ho is having a little trouble with
Uncle Brewski.” Esteban said.
“Shut up and listen.” Dujardin snarled.
“I just wanted to say that I never thought I, a revo-
lutionary communist nationalist, would befriend and
owe my life to two Peronista fascists, one of whom
fought with the Foreign Legion against my people.”
Esteban nudged is brother, “He’s talking about us.”
Oscar was teary-eyed, “Tio Ho, we owe our lives to
you, too.”
Dujardin stood up. “No time for sentiment, boys.
Let’s get the hell out of here.”
“Wait a minute, Edmond, there is something I must
tell you, tell everyone.” Ho said.
continued on page 12
“I’ve sort of gone from Riot Grrrl to Riot Crrrd.”
No Deflating This Card’s Spirit
by Miles Bourne,
Contributing Editor
As mentioned previously, I like to pretend the Mille
Bornes people are real people and I can talk to them. I
thought it would be interesting to interview the new
Increvable. I found the former Ulla Remmerswaal at a
bar in Hollywood. It was 3 P.M. but evidently she had
just woken up.
Roulez: Geez, you look tired.
Increvable: Yeah, I was at this all-night Mille Bornes
party at Christian Slater’s house. He’s cool. A.D.
Volant says “hi.”
R: Wow, I thought the Hollywood Mille Bornes scene
had died with Steve McQueen.
I: So did I, but there’s a whole new generation of
players and not just in Hollywood or New York like
in the sixties.
R: This is new to me.
I: Mille Bornes is as common on the set of The
Adventures of Pete and Pete and Mystery Science Theater
3000 as drugs were on Square Pegs or the old
Saturday Night Live.
R: So, what’s it like as a card? Has the transition been
tough?
I: It’s weird. I’ve sort of gone from Riot Grrrl to Riot
Crrrd. But everyone has been really supportive, the
hard part is not letting everything go to my head.
R: What do you mean?
I: You know, getting into places for free, people buy-
ing me drinks. Like, Kim and Kelley Deal from The
Breeders called me up the other day to offer me
Lollapalooza tickets. They wanted to meet me! Well,
you’re a writer for ROULEZ, you must get that a lot
R: Oh, sure. Did you ever expect to be a Safety?
I: No! I dreamed of it but I never thought I’d actually
be a Safety. Maybe a Mile card or something.
R: How are things between you and the Spare Tire?
Is he bitter about not getting the call?
I: Um, we get along OK.
R: What about Crevé?
I: (laughs) What a card. He really is a lovable rogue
like everyone says.
R: Many said you were the greatest living Mille
Bornes player. Do you miss the game?
I: A little, sure, but now I’m not just a part of a few
Mille Bornes games but all of them or at least the well
played ones. Miles, life is a series of changes. One
year, I’m a lab assistant, the next I’m a movie stunt
car driver in Bombay, the next I’m a card in the Mille
Bornes deck. It’s crazy.
R: You were born in Holland, what is the Mille
Bornes scene like there?
I: Basically, if you’re a kid in a Dutch small town you
go to cafés, smoke hashish and play Mille Bornes. It’s
aimless but it produces a lot of good Mille Bornes
players.
R: Does everyone there really wear wooden shoes?
I: Yeesh, I gotta go. Bye, Miles.
Roulez Summer 1994 Page 5
 “Kunst ist eine erhabene und zum fanatismus verpflichtende mission.”1
On The Symbolism Of Mille Bornes
by Daniel Kratochvil B.A., M.A.,
Contributing Editor
The previous installment of this column con-
cluded with Pierre Bourdieu’s statement that
goods and virtues that were claimed by the
lower and middle classes were not valued by the
upper classes.2 It thus follows that the phenome-
na which tend to be appropriated by elites are
those detached from everyday existence. There
is, in addition, an attempt to distinguish
between old money and the “nouveau riche”
and this is analogous to the separation of the
legitimate from the illegitimate (i.e., autodidac-
tic) means of taste acquisition.3 Both of these
are subsets of the attempt to make finer distinc-
tions of various phenomena such as artistic
knowledge or wealth on the basis of “quality”
— i.e., the goal is not merely the crude division
between the elite and the vulgar or even degrees
of wealth within a class (e.g. middle-middle
from upper-middle) but rather qualitative analy-
sis of these things.
1.“Art has an elevated mission — it is obligated to be
fantastic.” A. Hitler (1889-1945), leader of unified
Germany prior to Helmut Kohl. Trans. Daniel
Kratochvil, B.A., M.A.
2. Max Weber 2a defines Class [Klaße]as follows:
“Class situation” means the typical probability of
1. procuring goods
2. gaining a position in life
3. finding inner satisfactions,
a probability which derives from the relative
control over goods and skills and from their
income-producing uses within a given economic
order (p.302).
2a. From Economy and Society (Wirtschaft und
Gesellschaft, Grundriß der verstehenden Soziologie).
Edited and translated by Guenther Roth and Clauss
Wittich based upon the fourth German edition edit-
ed by Johannes Wickelmann.2ai
2ai. Johannes Winckelmann is not to be confused
with the eighteenth century art historian
Johann Joachim Winckelmann, whose 1764
work History of Ancient Art (Geschichte der
Roulez Summer 1994 Page 6
The final major subject covered by Bourdieu
that is relevant to this project is the grouping of
the set of markers that have been appropriated
by a particular class using the means just
described. This class habitus is “the internalized
form of class condition and of the conditionings
it entails” (p.101) which unify and ensure the
continued unification of the group:
[The] spontaneous decoding of one habitus by anoth-
er is the basis of the immediate affinities which ori-
ent social encounters, discouraging socially
discordant relationships, without these operations
ever having to be formulated other than in the social-
ly innocent languages of likes and dislikes (p.243).
Two people from the same class background
will, because of the habitus that they have in
common, share tastes in a variety of things to a
degree that would not be found in a person
from a different class background. This will con-
tribute to the naive to the belief that they were
“made for each other.”
(Ed. note: Manuscript ends here.)
Next Issue: More Mille Bornes Symbolism!
Kunst des Alterthums) will be considered in a
future column.
3. This can be seen in the contempt shown by the gods
for Alberich in Der Ring des Nibelungen by Richard
Wagner. 3a
3a. Wagner’s role in the history of opera is notable
in part to the changes that he introduced in an
attempt to popularize this art form, a goal that he
attempted to achieve for two reasons: first, he
saw opera as the greatest of the fine arts (he
referred to it as the Gesamtkuntswerk — the
combination art work) and therefore it deserved a
wide popularity; and second, he held aristocrats
in low regard and as a composer was offended by
their tendency to treat performances merely as
social past-times. The means through which he
attempted to achieve this goal were most salient
in the innovations that he introduced in the opera
house at Bayreuth (designed with the help of
Gottfried Semper and Karl Bundt) which included
the elimination of box seats in exchange for a
single level of simple seats.
The Whole Shocking Story of A Roulez Precursor
Zine Publisher/Cribbage Fan
Discovers It’s In The Blood
by Brett Sonnenschein,
Editor and Publisher
Recently, I received word from my mother that
she had come into possession of the papers of
Karl-Heinz Kolbeck, a distant relative of ours who
died about ten years ago. Karl-Heinz emigrated to
the United States in the 1920s. He moved to
Chicago and shortly thereafter to Gary, Indiana
where he would spend the rest of his life. He
earned a living as a steel worker but soon moved
up to writing technical manuals and freelancing as
a German translator. I never met him and my
mother remembers only meeting him “once,
when I was in junior high school.”
I thought the papers would be of little interest
until I came across copies of His Nobs, The
Magazine For And About The Cribbage Enthusiast. I
was shocked to find another zine publisher in the
family. I gathered all the issues I could find and
began reading.
His Nobs was published irregularly in the mid to
late thirties and the issues were either sixteen or
twenty pages long. There were fourteen issues
in all.
The focus of the early issues was
cribbage strategy
and advice,
coverage
of Chicago
area tourna-
ments and a col-
umn of humorous
cribbage anecdotes
called “Mr.
Muggins.” Karl-
Heinz regularly
published editorials
lobbying for a national
cribbage day but could
never
decide if it should be January 21st (1/21) or
December 1st (12/1, 121 points are needed to
win a game of cribbage). A few pages in the back
were given to humorous fiction such as “99 Years
to Cribbage”, a story “in the vein of Messrs.
Dashiel Hammett, Horace McCoy and James M.
Cain” about a man whose obsession with cribbage
destroys him and “Flash Gordon, Generalissimo of
Cribbage” in which Flash uses cribbage to defeat
Ming the Merciless.
As time passed the focus of His Nobs became
“Waage“, a serialized version of the life of Sir
John Suckling, inventor of cribbage. The stories
were filled with real and fictional characters from
Suckling’s lifetime including William Shakespeare,
King Charles I, Rembrandt, the Three Musketeers
and Peter Minuit. “Waage” begins on a light note
as the young Suckling discovers the ancient game
of noddy and turns it into cribbage, trades verbal
jabs with William Shakespeare (“I’ll thrash you
once, thrice, fifteen times you whelp!” “Only if
you catch me, author of Titus Andronicus!”) and
travels the world popularizing his game. In one
story, Suckling travels to Japan where the shogun
is so frightened by the addictive power of crib-
bage he presents him with a jade cribbage board if
he will just leave Japan. Suckling refuses until the
shogun threatens to cut off the right arms of any-
one seen playing cribbage. After Suckling refines
cribbage by adding the sixth card to the hand, the
stories take on a dark and sinister tone as Cardinal
Richelieu, advisor to France’s King Louis XIII
demands Suckling use only five cards.
Following is a sample from chapter nine, “The
Big Card.” In this chapter, Suckling has gone to
Paris looking for a confrontation with Cardinal
Richelieu;
Suckling ordered an ale. He eyed the crib-
bage board sitting on another table. Eventually,
Roulez Summer 1994 Page 7
 continued from page 7
Cribbage Zine Story Continues…
a man in a garish costume and large plumed
hat approached him.
“Dost the thou play the new game of crib-
bage, sir?” said the Frenchman.
“I do indeed, sir.” replied Suckling.
“Wouldest thou pleasure me by joining me
in a game?”
“I would indeed, sir.”
The Frenchman dealt the cards. One, two,
three, four, five. Suckling picked up a peg and
gave himself two points.
“I’ll take a muggins, my friend, for a mis-
deal. Thou shouldest given us six cards.”
The Frenchman knocked the scoring board
off the table.
“I’ll remind you, sir, that cribbage is played
with five cards, sir, at least it is by gentlemen.”
Suckling’s eyebrows jumped up. In a second
his saber was at the Frenchman’s throat.
“I believe thou hast insulted me.”
“Perhaps my words caused more sting than I
realized, my lord, please accept my apologies.”
“Instead of a feeble apology take me to
Richelieu, he has stood in the way of six card
cribbage long enough.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Do not mock me.” Suckling sneered, “All
cribbage playing Frenchmen know Cardinal
Richelieu.”
The Frenchman licked his lips.
“I say, good sir, if you are so fond of six-card
cribbage let us play a game. That is if you do
not fear losing to a Frenchman.”
Suckling laughed. He could never resist a
game of cribbage.
“Your deal.” he said.
Thus begins the battles between Suckling and
Richelieu. Their struggle is an epic one including
naval battles, the collapse of a tunnel underneath
the English Channel and a sword fight in the
Roman Coliseum. By this time “Waage” was tak-
ing up all but one or two pages of His Nobs.
Eventually, Suckling confronts Richelieu in the
presence of the pope but is killed by a poisoned
scoring peg through the heart. Despite this, the
Roulez Summer 1994 Page 8
struggle between Suckling and Richelieu contin-
ues beyond the grave as the ghost of Suckling
haunts Richelieu until days later, he too is dead.
In the final chapter, Suckling must lead the
forces of Heaven against Richelieu, Julius Caesar
and the armies of Hell in a final battle over the
rules of cribbage. Suckling is defeated but the trin-
ity of God, Jesus Christ and Queen Elizabeth lead a
final charge against Richelieu and the six card rule
is preserved after all.
I wondered after reading this whether it was the
work of a genius or a madman, or both? I mean,
it’s more than a little screwy, even by zine stan-
dards. Then, looking at the dates I saw that the
tone of “Waage” changed as the threat of war in
Europe increased in 1938 and 1939. I theorized
Karl-Heinz was writing an allegory on the futility
of war. I couldn’t confirm it because he left no
notes on “Waage”, just the stories themselves.
Once he concluded the story of “Waage” he no
longer published the zine, I felt his purpose had
been fulfilled. Then I wondered how much it had
cost to put out His Nobs in the pre-computer days
of the thirties. Looking at Karl-Heinz’s financial
records I found massive gambling losses playing
cribbage. Apparently, cribbage gambling dens
were common in Chicago in the thirties. A little
research has shown that the finest cribbage players
in the Midwest were recruited by the mob to satis-
fy the public’s almost manic craving for big
money cribbage. Obviously, from Karl-Heinz’s
records he was not one of the finest cribbage play-
ers in the Midwest and he could no longer afford
to put out His Nobs. Perhaps, instead of being an
allegory on Europe, “Waage” was an allegory on
Karl-Heinz’s financial problems. Or it was the
work of a madman. It’s hard to say. His debts con-
tinued to mount until the date December 8th,
1941 when the note “All debts absolved.” is in the
ledger. No explanation is given. Despite this sud-
den windfall Karl-Heinz Kolbeck never resumed
publication of His Nobs.
If you would like to see more from His Nobs or
perhaps be interested in a new cribbage magazine,
please drop me a line at the ROULEZ address.
Look Out Parker Brothers…
A.D.’s Got a Letter Opener
And He Knows How to Use It
by A.D. Volant,
Contributing Editor
Bonjour from A.D. Volant! In France some
mourn at the defeat of the French National Mille
Bornes team but I say “c’est la guerre.” Such is the
price we French pay for exporting Mille Bornes to
the world. Perhaps instead of watching them, I
will learn the American national game of baseball.
But what is that? The players are on strike? Oh, I
am so sorry. What will you do?
I have shared many stories about
Mille Bornes with my readers,
now the readers talk back!
Take it away ROULEZ
fans.
Q Let me exer-
cise my fran-
chise and put my vote
into the favorite card
ballot box; the 60s 25
card holds a spot in
my heart big enough
to cause an embolism, and
the reason is twofold. First, because I like to win
with the Speed Limit in place. I like to have the
Speed Limit played on me when I’m only 50
points away from winning — it shows my oppo-
nent has the fiery spirit of a true warrior. If I ever
win a match with the Speed Limit in place after
having played only twenty-fives and fifties, I will
retire from the game a happy man (Ed. note:
Sadly, this is mathematically impossible). The sec-
ond reason the 25 holds me in its thrall is that
paradoxical speeding escargot artwork. I’ve told
you this before, it haunts me.
Here’s another reason to hate the current Parker
Brothers incarnation of Mille Bornes — the rules
have the following unsporting tactic in paragraph
G of the Special Notes section, “You are allowed to
place a Hazard Card directly on top of another
Hazard Card that’s not been remedied.” There is
no mention of this in the 1962 edition, in fact
they say only that the various hazards may be
“placed on your opponents’ roll card.” (Section 6,
Sub-section A, with the exception regarding the
Right of Way card noted in Sub-Section B.)
And furthermore the newer rules state that you
may Coup Fourré “…If an opponent plays a haz-
ard card on you or any other player…”
In theory, in a three or six player game, I could
win a hand on points gained by calling “Coup
Fourré!” on a Hazard you played on top of
another Hazard on our opponent’s Battle
Pile. This, as the English say,
is not cricket.
Ignatz Topo,
San Diego, CA
A Napoleon said
the English
were a nation of
shopkeepers. He
was right about that
and you are right too. I’ll answer
your points one by one. Placing a new
hazard on top of another is the act of an indis-
creet fool. Can’t you wait for the Roulez to be
played? Have you at long last no sense of decen-
cy? And what if the player has the Safety for the
new hazard? Fans, it’s just not worth it. On your
second point, there is no logical basis for being
able to Coup Fourré an opponent’s hazard (Ed.
note: See A.D.’s column in issue 1). I never use
this rule and neither should you. Rest assured
they are not in the original French rules.
Q I really loved ROULEZ! — so much so that it
inspired me to run out and buy a new Mille
Bornes and make a convert of my husband. Weird,
really, because I hadn't played for years.
It was great playing the game again, after a few
continued on page 10
Roulez Summer 1994 Page 9
 continued from page 9 10010, $18 for 6 issues or $15 with recipe). Just a
A.D.’s Column Continues… word of advice from a Frenchman, more sauces!
false moves where it seemed really creaky and
kind of artificial — almost like driving an ancient,
untuned car. The only thing I resented was the
Q Dear Brett, help me. I’m living here in
Bellingham Washington losing miserably at
Mille Bornes. I don’t know if you remember but I
new deck, which a) no longer comes in a nice
used to play a mean hand. Remember that change
sturdy box to keep it all together, and b) has icky
I hustled? Anyway, I don’t know what you’re up to
bland graphics reminiscent of crummy clip art.
but it seems when our paths parted you got the
I'm happy to report that a few weeks ago, I found
box with the ‘62. You remember it, don’t you?
one of the old decks that I remember from my
Please send it to me soon. By the way, the one I
childhood, at the low, low price of 75 cents. What a
loved most (you know, from, out friends) was the
pleasure! I really prefer the old graphics, which
ole Roulez. I’m a purist at heart and its that one
have a rakish, 50s French appeal. I'm also quite
baby, that keeps you moving along.
pleased to have that silly tray back — it really makes
Ted Sonnenschein, Bellingham, WA
it easier to manage a kind of tall deck, plus you
Dear Brett, I just played a game of Mille
have a visual reminder of which pile is for drawing
and which for discards. I even love the color com-
Q Bornes with your brother Ted. In the end I
beat him 5,000 to 975. One hand I got 2,500 —
bination of the lime-green tray and the turquoise-
1,000 milestones, 200 for an extension, 400 for a
backed cards, a combination I remember thinking
trip completed, 300 for a safe trip, 400 for a coup
was really garish when I was a kid back in the 60s.
fourré, 200 for two additional safeties. That hand
From the Accident card showing the crumpled
your brother, Ted, got a total of fifty points. The
front end and driverside door after the collision
irony of it is that I was stupid and forgot I still
with a lamppost (no doubt after too much vin
held Puncture-proof, the one remaining safety,
rouge), to the Flat Tire, where the tire is caught in
had I kept my head and played it, I would have
the very moment of its blow-out — I love them
received an additional 400 points for a total of
all. I especially prefer the old mileage cards, rang-
2,900. How is it that the brother of the editor of
ing from snail to swallow by the stone's side, to
such a notable publication can be such a pitiful
the new boring number ones.
Mille Bornes opponent? My favorite card is Crevé!
If I have a favorite card, it's probably the Right of
That always stops them dead in their tracks.
Way, which just seems to take care of so many
Geoff Gooding, Bellingham, WA
problems at one go, those times when you just
can't buy a Roll! card, or when you're hampered by
a speed limit. (Why do End-of-Limit cards seem to
A Sorry, Brett, I seem to have dipped into your
mailbag. Geoff, from the sound of your let-
ter I wonder, are you French?
be in such short supply? I don't know, but they do.)
For those of you keeping score at home here are
I also like the way the old cards aren't absolutely
the favorite card standings.
symmetrical — of course they can be read from
Card Votes
either direction, but the view is different.
200-mile……………………3
Jill Cornfield, Ithaca, NY
Right of Way ………………3
A Oh, Jill the story you tell so well I have heard
so many times. Mille Bornes lovers driven
underground in pursuit of the game. When will
Crevé! ………………………2
25-mile ……………………2
End of Limit ………………1
Parker Brothers listen? Why did they abandon those Essence ……………………1
beautiful cards? It’s sad really. Increvable …………………1
By the way, lovers of food, and A.D is one of Roulez………………………1
them, should check out Jill’s fine zine, Cooking On Speed Limit …………………1
The Edge (175 Fifth Avenue, Suite 2117, NY, NY continued on page 11

Roulez Summer 1994 Page 10

Mille Bornes World Cup Results
The Bus To The World Championship
Lets Off a Few In The Quarterfinals
Action, thy name was the Mille Bornes World
Cup (MBWC) quarterfinals. Questions flowed like
cheap champagne before the first card was
shuffled. Was Canada that good? Would anyone stay
awake for the Belgium-Switzerland contest? Could
England rebound against the United States? Could
Holland beat France without Ulla Remmerswaal?
Let’s find out.
Canada vs. Algeria: Many thought the tricky
Algerian squad would stop the Canadians but it
was not to be. After losing the first two hands,
Canada romped over Algeria. The momentum
turned in the third hand when Algeria could not
go past 675 miles. Canada may win its first MBWC
since Trudeau was
Prime Minister. (5550-
5150, 5725-4100)
Belgium vs.
Switzerland: Few were
excited by this meeting
of two notorious defen-
sive squads. To the
delight of the crowds
however, they produced
a tight contest that had
many on the edge of
continued from page 10
A.D. Volant concludes…
Under normal circumstances, I, A.D. Volant
grace these pages with a Mille Bornes rules variant.
Not this issue. Instead, I go a step beyond and pre-
sent an entirely new game. Now, I can not claim
credit for it, but I think you’ll like it. The game is
called Grass, published by Euro Games. Like our
beloved Mille Bornes, Grass is an attack/strategy
card game wherein the players try to be the first
player to peddle $250,000 worth of grass (Ed.
note: marijuana). They play is much like Mille
Bornes, with Peddle Cards replacing Distance
Cards, Heat On replacing Hazards and so on.
Making things more interesting is the Market
their seats. Down a game, Belgium produced an
daring extension/delayed action to even things up.
The Belgians held a narrow 100 point lead in the
rubber match before winning it with two conser-
vative hands. But can they beat Canada? (4200-
5050, 5100-2400, 5975-4325)
United States vs. England: The feisty English
refused to play dead and devastated the Americans
in the first game. With their backs to the wall and
the home crowds cheering them on, U.S.A. took
apart the English with a 1000-0 shutout and never
let up, needing only six hands to win the series.
An American loss would have been the earliest by
a host nation in twenty years. Despite losing to
games the Americans are the betting favorites to
win it all.(5150-6825, 5000-2975, 5175-1375)
Holland vs. France: Ulla Remmerswaal wasn’t
missed as a pumped-up Dutch squad sent France
home early. It was France’s earliest departure in
MBWC history. France, with a 1-4 record for the
tournament could only complain about the use of
Parker Brothers’ art on the card and sneak out of
town. (5675-2650, 5000-4175)
Semi-Final Matchups:
(best 3 out of 5):
Canada vs. Belgium, U.S.A. vs. Holland.
Closed card which lets a player end the hand at his
discretion. Another intriguing card is The Banker,
which allows players to skim 20% of all the oppo-
nent’s hand. Players are able to negotiate trades
with other players for cards in the hand and on
the table.
Grass can be played with two to six players, the
more the better. I can not recommend drug use
but I sure recommend this game.
Finally, a plug for the next issue of ROULEZ and
specifically “Balance Chapter Seven.” Brett finally
tells the story of Dujardin’s trip across America
and his invention of Mille Bornes. Wow!
A.D. Volant welcomes your questions, comments
and votes for the favorite card poll.
Roulez Summer 1994 Page 11
continued from page 4
Balance Chapter Six Continues…
Is this it, Edmond thought. Is it here in this Brooklyn
bar that the deep, dark secret is revealed?
Ho began to speak but his eyes grew wide, as did those
of the Sanchezes. Curious, Edmond turned and was star-
ing at Dwight Eisenhower, president of the United States.
“General…” Edmond gasped.
Ike flashed his trademark crooked grin. “Edmond, never
thought I’d see you again.”
Edmond nodded.
Eisenhower walked over to Ho. They embraced.
“Too damn long, Ike,” Ho said.
“Agreed,” said Eisenhower. He looked at the Sanchez
twins.
“I assume you’re the Sanchezes. Gentlemen, I’ve settled
everything. Ho will be on an plane to Hanoi with his
money, the Sanchezes will be on a freighter for Spain,
General Peron will take care of you from there. Edmond,
all I can offer you is a Studebaker and a full tank of gas. If
you can escape the mob and get to Los Angeles contact
Bette Davis, she’ll get you out of this. Sorry I can’t do
more, Ed. I can’t even offer you a decent interstate high-
way system yet.”
ROULEZ
“Don’t worry, General. I’ve waited all my life for a
chance to drive across America. It’s a dream come true.”
“Then I suggest you say your farewells. Me, I have to
get back to the White House.” He turned to leave.
“Wait a minute!” Oscar exclaimed. “This is insane.
What’s going on, how does everybody know each other, I
don’t understand!”
Ike sighed. “I guess you deserve an explanation.
Outside of the great mass of humanity a small number of
people are essentially playing a game, one that no one
knows about but is behind everything. And nobody can
win that game, or lose it, because then the game would
be over and that can’t be allowed to happen. I guess that
means sometimes you have to cheat a little.”
“With all due respect, I never cheat.” Dujardin said.
Glumly, Ike nodded. The men all shook hands. They
knew Edmond was on a suicide mission, the only one
who could distract the mob while things were put back
to normal. One by one he shook their hands and watched
them leave. He got to his car and sat behind the wheel. In
the distance thunder rumbled.
Edmond Dujardin put the key in the ignition and
headed out into the unknown.
Next Chapter: Road Trip