Personal Development Leadership Portfolio

Camille Kramer
November 16, 2012 ILAD 4100; Dr. Clawson

Camille Kramer

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Camille Kramer

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
PREFACE ... 4 COMPONENT I: PERSONAL PURPOSE & CORE VALUES .... 5
Personal Purpose
Finding Personal Purpose: Questions & Answers Core Values: Questions & Answers My 5 Core Values Statement of Personal Purpose Insights & Reactions Questions & Answers Eulogy News Release Insights & Reactions

Legacy & Eulogy

COMPONENT II: LEADERSHIP VISION & LEGACY .. 15

Questions & Answers My Leadership Vision

COMPONENT III: ASSESSMENTS, INTERVIEWS, FEEDBACK STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES .. 18

Assessments
Keirsey Temperament Sorter II Emotional Intelligence Assessment Strength Deployment Inventory Defining Effective Leadership External Feedback Interviews Commonalities & Self-Reflection

Interviews & Feedback

Strengths & Weaknesses Personal Excerpt

COMPONENT IV: DEVELOPMENT ACTION PLAN ... 36

Development Outcome I Development Outcome II Development Outcome III
Outcome Map

EPILOGUE . 43

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PREFACE
Enclosed in this book are my sacred thoughts, values and passions. My personal purpose and lifes legacy are exposed amongst these pages for the world to someday view. This is me, fully revealed. While undergoing the discovery of my truest self, I gained knowledge that I was completely unaware of prior to this journey. If the existence of an adequate preparation for self-discovery as a human being and as a leader were feasible, this would suffice. I am now ready to jump; jump into myself, physically, mentally, emotionally, past, present and future.

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COMPONENT I: PERSONAL PURPOSE AND CORE VALUES

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PERSONAL PURPOSE

FINDING PERSONAL PURPOSE: QUESTIONS & ANSWERS o What have you always loved? I love being the brains behind the operation. I like to delegate, run and implement tasks without being in the spotlight. I have always loved helping others and will give until I cant give anymore. My love for helping others has existed since childhood. I love to play my role to the best of my ability no matter how insignificant the impact is on a larger scale. o What have you always known about who you are, even before you knew anything? I always knew I was the kind of person who stood up for those who couldnt stand up for themselves. I knew I believed in fairness and cherished diversity. Equality is something I have always valued possibly before I could have even recognized the word itself. What has always felt true to you? Believing in the good in people has always felt true to me. I think highly of others and have faith in their ability to do good and promote positive outcomes. I repeatedly believe people will do what they can in order to improve a situation. o What has always come naturally to you? Leading comes naturally to me. I like to take initiative and get things done. However, I would not consider myself a dominate personality because I have no problem with following as well. Being organized and ordered is also something that comes naturally to me. I like to plan and I like having a plan. o What have you always cared about? I have always cared about animals. I am a big fan of the humane society. Other things I have grown to care about include HIV/AIDS Awareness and the promotion of reaching higher education. Providing homes for orphans is also something that I hold close to my heart and I plan to adopt one day. o What are some moments or experiences in your life when you have said to yourself, this is the real me? I often tell myself this is the real me when I am enjoying the simple things in life. I am very low-maintenance and do not always have to be doing something or going out to enjoy myself. I do like trying new things and am not afraid to get my hands dirty. What do you keep coming back to again and again? I constantly come back to the possibility of practicing medicine. I have redirected that aspiration into another career path that involves hospital administration and health management. I also come back to being involved in social work. I can do this on my spare time by serving my community. What do you sense is the changeless authentic core within you? The changeless authentic core within me is the need to help others. If I cared once, I will never stop. My compassion for helping and caring about others extends past my own life; I am an organ donor.

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Who am I really? I am someone who does the right thing when no one is looking; someone who is honest; someone who cares about the little people; someone who finds joy in lifes simplicities; someone who is willing to put in work. What is my reason for being? To leave those who I am in contact with in a better state from which I found them. I am here to love, inspire, motivate, challenge and educate others in any that I know how. What is my personal mission and direction? My personal mission involves self-development in order to fully help others. My mission is to not only participate in service, but to lend a hand in such a way that teaches those in need how to help themselves.

CORE VALUES: QUESTIONS & ANSWERS o What things seem to always motivate you and give your life meaning? The chance of being better or more than what I am and have already accomplished motivates me to keep striving. Other motivations include my desire to leave a measureable positive impact on the world in my lifetime. I am also motivated by those who have come before me and given some philanthropic entity to the world. My life is given meaning by those who I have affected in any which way that might be. o What would be really important to you, no matter how the world around you has changed? Having moral values such as integrity is something that will always be important to me no matter how the world around me has changed. Character is not measured by successes and failures. Being able to always put forth the best possible me is something really important to me. This includes doing what is right even when no one is watching. What do you value most? If I had to pick one thing that I value most, I think it would be service and volunteerism. It is one thing to get paid to do good upon others, but giving your time and effort without any monetary compensation is simply commendable. Service is going out of your way to help others who can give you nothing in return but their gratitude and love.

MY 5 CORE VALUES Comprising me, Camille Teresa Kramer, into five words is a challenge to say the least. My core values are a reflection of my character and an insight to my past, present and future endeavors. My values extend far beyond five ideals but when faced with choosing only five, these represent my changeless self. So, if it is at all possible to define a person in his/her entirety by words on a page, then this is my truest me Volunteerism/Service- Altruistic activity intended to promote good and improve the quality of life without economic value I live my life by giving my time, effort and character to those in need through service. I believe that 7|Page

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volunteerism can ultimately solve the worlds issues if more people gave back in some way. Service is one of my most important values because not only does it show compassion for others but it illustrates hope for a better future. Personally, volunteering gives me gratitude in helping others. I know no act is too small to make an impact on someones life. A leader who values service to others is valuable because he/she possesses the vision of an attainable future and is willing to do the work to get there without being rewarded financially in return.
The ultimate expression of generosity is not giving of what you have, but giving of who you are.
Johnetta B. Cole

Personal Growth- A process that produces personal change and progress; improving self- awareness and identity, developing talents and potential, enhancing quality of life and contributing to the realization of dreams and aspirations I hope my personal growth continues to my last breath. The idea that improvement of character, mindset and behavior are endless is something I firmly accept as true. Each day brings forth new experiences that should allow individual growth. I believe there is always room for improvement with the acquisition of new knowledge and wisdom. Growth is an inevitable occurrence that I fully embrace to become a better version of myself with the shedding of each layer. Retaining the understanding that growth is a never-ending process keeps me seeking for ways to improve which can be advantageous in many environments. Growth also coincides with the continual road to achieve dreams and aspirations as they morph along the journey.
I want to grow. I want to be better. You Grow. We all grow. We're made to grow. You either evolve or you disappear.
Tupac Shakur

Integrity - The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; consistency of actions, values, principles, and expectations When facing adversity or when life is throwing crucibles your way, the most important thing to possess is integrity. When a person demonstrates integrity in all aspects of life shows true character. Trying times will inevitably occur in my lifetime testing my integrity and faith for what I believe is right. It is especially important for a leader to lead with integrity because often times power, wealth and status might cloud the initial vision. As a person who values integrity, I do not waiver far from my moral and ethical values. Acting, speaking and living with integrity means being consistently true to myself.
I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
Frederick Douglass

Diversity- The unique variety of qualities, traits and characteristics that are inherent to the human condition, with a focus on world views, communication styles, and unique ways of thinking, being and doing

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Camille Kramer Diversity is a major part of my life primarily because I grew up in a diverse community and come from a diverse family. Growing up in Miami, Florida allowed me to interact with people other than U.S. citizens. This enabled me to cherish the unique contributions of each person due to cultural differences. Diversity is very essential to all aspects of life which is why it is a core value of mine. Diversity includes not only recognizing diversity but encompasses acceptance, promotion and utilization as well. Being a leader who can capitalize on diversity will permit me to benefit from changing environments while staying innovative.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
Mother Teresa

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Fairness- A concept of moral rightness based on ethics, rationality, law, religion, or equity; Acting in a manner that is free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice Many say they do not value fairness because life isnt fair; I value fairness in spite of this. To me, fairness involves the act of making sure everyone is treated equally and is given the same opportunities as others. Personally, I am very democratic person. In a situation, I make it my duty to ensure that fairness is upheld. I dont believe in giving preferential treatment based on artificial factors. Fairness involves acting in a just way and practicing equality in all things. I am not nave enough to believe that everyone is on the same level playing field, but I am a firm believer in objectivity and fair-mindedness when dealing with my life. Being fair will enhance my ability to reach out to those who are vulnerable.
Being good is easy, what is difficult is being just. Victor Hugo

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STATEMENT OF PERSONAL PURPOSE It is my personal purpose to put forth the best possible me while looking for the good in others. I will use my inner-harmony to outwardly reflect happiness onto others and act like an instrument of positive change. I shall live by my morals and beliefs without making excuses for any future shortcomings. I will indefinitely remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I will admit when I am wrong with ease and always remember the past is the past. I will forever cherish the people in my life; the relationships I have built and bonds I have made shape who I am. I will be fearless, take risks and be different. I will not just survive, I will live. Growth and education will be an endless destination. Advice from those wiser than me will be valued. I will know my worth and follow my heart; I must never settle for less. I will be thankful for all that I have and will accomplish. Lastly, despite the context, I will do what I can, when I can, where I can. I will impact the world.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Gandhi

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INSIGHTS & REACTIONS Writing down what I value, who I am, my personal purpose and reason for being was difficult. But, now looking back at me on these pages, I feel as if my vision has come into focus. I can now say I know exactly why I was put on Earth and how I want to pursue my dreams. This document has become evidence and a reminder of my unwavering character. In the future, when faced with difficult decisions, I will always recall the personal purpose and act in accordance to those standards. It is a great gift to internalize who you are as a person to yourself; it is a far greater gift to successfully communicate this image to others.

LEGACY & EULOGY

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS o General descriptions of you I am kindhearted, silly, loving and hardworking. I am humble, determined, democratic and unique. o Your character & essence My essence is peaceful as well as loving. I am the embodiment of someone who wants to promote positive change in the world. Your contributions and achievements I have contributed in numerous ways. It was always enjoyable for me to be involved in organizations. I have also volunteered in many different areas. My contributions in life include each of my roles. I am a student, a mentor, a tutor, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin and a granddaughter. I have achieved many things at such a young age. I someday hope to accomplish much more in my lifetime that branch away from academia and more so focus on life ambitions and dreams. Your legacyimpact and making a difference I would hope to think that I have impacted the lives of those who I have interacted and connected with. I want my presence to have some substantial effect that in some way brings positive feelings. My legacy will primarily be my life. I am not focused on creating something physical or making a name for myself. I would rather those who witness my compassion be left with a lasting impression that leads them to lead more fulfilling lives. In that manner, my legacy will be my influence on others, my example.

EULOGY NEWS RELEASE Once I am gone, I hope my essence, drive and character have left a prevailing impression on the world. For those who knew me, it should be easy to measure the influence I left on each of their lives. Others should be able to accurately envision my lifes purpose after hearing the eulogy addresses. When that day comes, I can only pray that my older brother and future husband will speak of me in such high reverence. Delivered by Jason Kramer (brother): Today is an occasion of remembrance and celebration as we share our love for my sister. She may not be here physically but she will forever remain in our hearts and tucked away in our sweet memories. I am blessed to have known Cami for her entire life. I was able to watch her transform from a

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curious child to a lively teenager, a beautiful young woman, a hardworking career woman, a loving wife and a giving mother. My baby sister was taken from us too soon but she is never forgotten. As a kid, I always wished she were a boy, but looking back, I am thankful that she was none other than Cami. I think we balanced each other well; I was the problem child and she always played by the rules. We were like Phil and Lil from the Rugrats. If one of us had a scheme, the other willing complied. From playing Men in Black to building forts in the living room, we had our fun. Together, our mother had her hands full from the beginning. Cami might have remained out of trouble in school, but she was no saint. I remember waiting in the car with her one evening while our mom ran into the store. We had to be in elementary school at the time. Cami broke the rear-view mirror and blamed it on me when our mom came back and questioned us. Of course, she believed that I had done it. I dont blame her. Cami always possessed a curious mind. She would constantly ask question after question for no reason apparent to me. It used to drive me crazy. Her quest for knowledge was endless which is probably why she excelled in academia. I admired her ability to not only be smart but to utilize her intelligence at such a young age. She loved to be involved in school activities and in the community. Her heart and willingness to give has produced legacies that will live beyond her years. My life alone is evidence of her passion to do whatever she can for others. Cami was constantly covering for me with our mom when we were teenagers. She even filled out my college applications. My sister never judged me. She stuck by my side even when she knew what I was doing was morally wrong. However, she was up-front. She did not hesitate to speak her mind when the time called for it. Cami did not sugar-coat words that she felt needed to be heard. Her ability to show me a different perspective to each situation was unrelenting. Without her, I would not be the same man that stands before you today. She has always remained the constant positive in my life since the day our parents brought her home from the hospital. She never failed to make us all proud. She was a wonderful sister and an even better human being. I love her. Shes all my good and Im all her bad. Delivered by my husband: My greatest honor was being Camilles husband. From the minute I met her, I knew she was the one for me; she needed a little convincing. My wife was a phenomenal woman. She always believed in the good in others but it was difficult for her to praise herself. Today, I am here to give tribute to Camilles life, accomplishments, legacy and character. Family was the most important thing to Camille. She made it her priority to balance work and home so she would not miss out on not only our childrens milestones, but on daily tasks like helping 12 | P a g e

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them with their homework. Our children were more important to her than life itself. She made sure she cared for them with every ounce of her being. Camille lived to see their smiles, hear their laughs and feel their touch each and every day. She was a nurturer at heart. Camille made sure to teach our children to live by their morals and to understand the value of hard-work. For this, I truly cherish her. I remember she always told me that our children were her greatest accomplishment and her reason for being. And likewise, our children adored their mom. She was undoubtedly their superhero day-in and day-out. Camille was the foundation of our well-being. Camille was unlike any other. She was the greatest force of good in my life. What I loved most about her were her random acts of kindness. She believed that it was important to care about the little things because they make up the big things. Camille was so compassionate. She was constantly giving in any form she could and never hesitated to lend a helping hand to anyone in need. Her passion to serve is what drew me to Camille from the beginning. She always went out of her way for others regardless of the inconvenience. The drive she possessed was transferable to personal growth as well. She was always willing to learn new things if it meant bettering herself. Her friends will contest that Camille may not have always been the spontaneous one of the group, but my wife surely was the glue that held everything together. Her care and tenderness attracted companions. She had this immaculate ability to listen with concern. Her friends could depend and trust her with any obstacle they faced. Camille always came through for them. She often had trouble letting her guard down, but when she did, she was radiant. Her goofy persona was something no one could compete with. Those who called Camille their friend were lucky enough to see the real her. Her work was something she didnt consider work at all. She enjoyed her day job and held personal advocacies close to her heart. My wife took volunteerism seriously because she knew that selflessness can change the world. She was the epitome of what it meant to serve others. Camille was my best friend and the love of my life. Together, we learned the true definition of love and pure bliss. They say one of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your hearts desire. Camille was mine.

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INSIGHTS & REACTIONS Both, the personal purpose and eulogy, were tough to formulate when it came to getting my thoughts into coherent sentences. When writing my eulogy, I found myself being much rawer than the formalized writing I used in my values. I often mentioned love which I did not comment on in my personal purpose. Love for life, others, work and passions play a major role in my existence. In life, I want to encompass love in its many forms from loving myself, being in love, motherly love, loving a person, loving a task and loving my life. In addition to love, I also omitted the concept of happiness from my purpose but made it a primary focus in my eulogy. My ultimate goal in life is to be happy with whatever my life may become. Happiness is not a destination but a journey from which someone must find by seeking inner-harmony. The most surreal thing is to write about yourself in past-tense. This exercise has given me a standard to someday live up to; I can only hope that my future husband will one day speak of me in such high esteem. It was certainly easier to write in the perspective of my older brother simply because he is someone I know and share a lifetimes worth of memories with. The eulogy was a healthy exercise for me on a personal level because I struggle with talking about myself. I have constantly been told that I need to improve my bragging tools when it comes to giving me credit. My eulogy allowed me to explore this challenge.

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COMPONENT II: LEADERSHIP VISION & LEGACY

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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

o Write a description of your leadership vision; what do you envision that you will be like as a leader? Or what do you want to create or accomplish as a leader? As a leader, I would like to believe that Id be encouraging, trusting and approachable. I try to carry myself as someone who I easy to talk to and willing to listen as well as understand. As a leader, I would like to create an environment where my followers feel they are just as important to the vision as I am. I hope to accomplish this by practicing fairness and promoting diversity. I want to create an environment where people can work efficiently but wisely, cooperatively but competitively and logically but creatively. Identify your key leadership values My key leadership values mirror my personal core values of service, personal growth, integrity, diversity and fairness. As reiterated from my core values: A leader who values service to others is valuable because he/she possesses the vision of an attainable future and is willing to do the work to get there without being rewarded financially in return. Growth coincides with the continual road to achieve dreams and aspirations as they morph along the journey. It is especially important for a leader to lead with integrity because often times power, wealth and status might cloud the initial vision. As a person who values integrity, I do not waiver far from my moral and ethical values. Diversity includes not only recognizing diversity but encompasses acceptance, promotion and utilization as well. Being a leader who can capitalize on diversity will permit me to benefit from changing environments while staying innovative. Fairness involves acting in a just way and practicing equality in all things. I am not nave enough to believe that everyone is on the same level playing field, but I am a firm believer in objectivity and fair-mindedness when dealing with my life. Being fair will enhance my ability to reach out to those who are vulnerable. If my leadership demonstrates these values I know I am being true to my core. Other leadership values I possess are compassion and determination. As years pass and I gain more experience, wisdom will come a key leadership value of mine as well. Include a discussion of what your leadership vision and core values for leading will be; what accomplishing this vision will mean to you and the people you lead; and how it will impact you and others professionally and personally. My leadership vision ultimately means leading from within and upholding my true core values. I want to be able to look myself in the mirror and feel proud of the decisions I have made. Accomplishing this vision will give me inner-harmony which I value greatly. I believe one can better promote positive change only if one is at peace with ones self. This accomplishment will immensely impact those around me because I will be better equipped to lead successfully. Write or attempt to write a draft of your "leadership vision statement." This statement should be a compelling image of an achievable leadership future and should include a description of the kind of leader you are and what your core leadership values and beliefs you espouse. I want to create a beneficial environment where everyone can communicate openly, feel valued and prosper; a place where differences are not only respected but are cherished. This will serve as a place where my followers can thrive and grow personally. As a leader, I will act in accordance with my mind, emotions and past experiences. I will seek wisdom from mentors who are more knowledgeable and those who have come before me. I will listen with care and concern, remain open and honest, practice democracy and strive to be innovative. I will not be 16 | P a g e

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afraid to take risks and illustrate my sincerity. My leadership will encompass my demonstration of integrity and my willingness to serve others. I will persevere and motivate those around me to do the same.

MY LEADERSHIP VISION
In the future, I hope to obtain a prominent position in hospital administration. I want to be responsible for the operations of a hospital including anything from fiscal responsibilities to day-to-day quality of care. This field requires immense leadership and decision-making because the facility is solely ran by the administration. As a leader, this career endeavor encompasses everything I want to portray such as integrity, dependability, cooperation and stress tolerance. Being the spearhead of operations will demand that I invest in my teams abilities and trust that they are capable of being great. As the head of the hospital, it is my primary concern that patients are receiving the best possible health care and that my employees have job satisfaction. To obtain this achievable future, I must create a specific type of environment. My office will serve as an environment for small meetings, an interview site, a safe-haven for concerns and complaints, and my personal work area for any individual tasks I may acquire. The conference room in the hospital has many functions but will be the location employees are familiar with due to departmental and other group meetings. Both areas are a place where leadership should be implanted in its inhabitants to ensure positive, productive outcomes. If I were to physically inscribe upon the walls of the hospital a reminder of the leadership I want to promote to my staff and visitors, it would read something like this... Be great. Take the time to recognize greatness. Lead from within; make sure your actions align with your core values. Show compassion; it is okay to care. Own your words, thoughts and actions. Ask for help when needed. Step back to reflect on a daily basis. It is important to know the difference between your role and your character. The world is full of endless possibilities waiting for one person to speak up and take a chance. Fight for what you believe in. Do not shy away from innovation. Work efficiently but wisely, cooperatively but competitively and logically but creatively. Be unique. Capitalize on your strengths and recognize your weaknesses. Do not just hear, listen. Lead by being the leader you would want to follow. At the end of the day, brush defeat off your shoulders, tomorrow is untainted. Remember, fear is a liar. For years to come, I will lead by practicing and promoting this vision. Leadership does not only pertain to the workforce. In retrospect, my leadership vision is transferrable to all aspects of my life, professional and personal. Leading is not a job but a lifestyle. I will make every effort to live my life with the same standards I have set for myself when at work. Therefore, in my personal life, I hope not to lead my husband but lead with him. Together, we will impact our childrens lives by setting a positive example of what leadership means. We will nurture them and instill the belief that anything is possible through hard work and determination. We will not shield them from lifes lessons but comfort them if they fall.
"Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality."
Warren G. Bennis

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COMPONENT III: ASSESSMENTS, INTERVIEWS, FEEDBACK STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES

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ASSESSMENTS

KEIRSEY TEMPERAMENT SORTER II David Keirsey, a renowned psychologist, linked human behavior to temperament. He derived a personality test to justify his claim. The Keirsey Temperament Sorter II is an assessment that classifies an individual in accordance to which of the four different temperaments and sixteen personality types one possesses. This self-assessed personality questionnaire enables its participants to learn about themselves and others by analyzing their strengths and weaknesses. This understanding can ultimately lead to achieving goals because one is more inclined to overcome imbalances between each temperament when necessary. Four distinct temperaments comprise the Keirsey. They are the Artisan, the Guardian, the Rational and the Idealist. I am a Guardian. The Keirsey describes a Guardian as dependable, hardworking individuals who are both helpful and dutiful. We are the humble types who always take a grounded approach to life making us loyal mates, responsible parents and stabilizing leaders. Guardians are more cautious, most likely because of our law-abiding tendencies and need to seek out justice. Guardians are at their best when they can use their logistical skills to ensure that the proper equipment is in the proper place at the proper time. After taking the Keirsey, I believe the Guardian temperament accurately depicts my personality and who I am. I can easily see the features of the Guardian in my daily behaviors and outlook on life. I would rather give compliments than receive them, illustrating my humbleness. I dislike taking risks and am constantly uncomfortable when it comes to uncertainty which could be classified as being cautious. I am a planner who likes to know that I am prepared to do something at the indicated time. I prefer to have a schedule. I tend to think of myself as the mother of my apartment. I unintentionally become the responsible/ levelheaded one whenever the situation calls for it. And, serving others gives me pleasure which demonstrates my helpfulness. Each temperament is then broken down into four sub-personalities, making a total of sixteen types. Not only am I a Guardian, I am an Inspector. According to the Keirsey, Inspectors pay high attention to detail and are experts in finding errors or discrepancies. They do not like to be interrupted when they are giving instructions and do not appreciate being pressed for a decision. Communication with Inspectors can be particularly effective when given in writing. They believe advancement must be earned through paying ones dues over a period of time. People who are Inspectors also have a high 19 | P a g e

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developed sense of right and wrong and a low tolerance for ambiguity. Confrontation is something they often avoid. As an Inspector, I am in compliance with most of the characteristics attributed to me by the Keirsey. One way I exhibit Inspector behavior is by enjoying tedious work that involves looking for errors. I am very observant and pay high attention to detail, especially in my work. I particularly dont mind when people interrupt me but I dont like it either. I do however get annoyed. I certainly do prefer written communication because my words and the words of others are often lost during verbal transaction. I like to take my time reading someones words and analyzing their message. Even though I know the world is filled with gray area, I favor a clear cut right and wrong because it leaves nothing to uncertainty. The Keirsey also classifies Inspectors as social people. I consider myself social but only in the right time and place. My inner- introvert gets the best of me quite frequently. But overall, my qualities correspond with that of an Inspector quite accurately. There are four question scales used to detect ones behavioral preferences. These codes fall into four categories, Extraverted - Introverted (E-I), Sensing - Intuitive (S-N), Thinking - Feeling (T-F) and Judging - Perceiving (J-P). The letters are not used as labels but represent stronger or weaker tendencies in a persons overall makeup. The scale is from 1-10 for each of the four categories. My four letter code is ISTJ which stands for attentive, observant, toughminded and scheduled. The terms Extraversion (E) and Introversion (I) describe two vastly different social styles. People who score high in Extraversion tend to be gregarious and expressive; those scoring high in Introversion tend to be private and reserved. I am a 1 extrovert and 9 introvert. Like the Keirsey suggests, I am often times more comfortable alone than in a crowd. I draw my energy from private time and only have a few close friends. Socializing with people I do not know is exhausting to me. The Sensory/Intuitive (S-N) scale differentiates between two distinct kinds of human focus. People with high Sensory scores pay more attention to what is going on outside themselves in the world of concrete things; people with high Intuitive scores pay more attention to what is going on inside themselves in the abstract world of ideas. I 20 | P a g e

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scored a 7 Sensing and 3 Intuitive. I am a factual, here and now kind of person when it comes to human focus. I like to trust my observations and concrete ideas instead of pondering about what could be. The Thinking/Feeling (T-F) scale assesses how people govern themselves and make decisions. Everyone has both thoughts and feelings. However, those who score high in Thinking tend to use their heads more when making choices, while those scoring high in Feeling tend to follow their hearts. Thinking and Feeling is a personal battle for me on a day-to-day basis which probably explains why I scored a 5 in both categories. I consult both my head and heart when making decisions but often time my head wins. As a thinker, I like to base my actions on reason rather than personal matters. My Thinking contradicts my Feeling because I have trouble keeping my emotions out of my decisions. As a Feeler, I am softhearted until my unwanted thoughts go off in a tangent bringing me back to this ongoing struggle. I hope to one day find a balance between Thinking and Feeling. The Judgment/Perception (J-P) scale measures how people process information and arrange their lives. Those who score high on Judgment tend to make up their mind quickly and commit to schedules, while those scoring high on Perception prefer to keep their options open and their time tables flexible. I perceive 30% of the time and judge the other 70%. As a person strong in Judgment, I always feel anxious until a decision is made. I keep a schedule for myself because I value order. It bothers me when I do not have a plan or know what I am going to do. However, I would like to explore my Perception side more because spontaneity can lead to some of the best life experiences. In the long run, I would like to create a balance between each of the four behavioral preference scales. I have come to understand that one person can be all eight of the types but it takes practice and patience. Learning to control and utilize each factor will undoubtedly enhance my leadership capabilities. In addition, being an effective leader means understanding those around you which is why I would like to explore the other three temperaments more in-depth. The Keirsey Sorter II assessment has given me the opportunity to better understand myself. I have become aware of characteristics that I have never taken into consideration. I also now know things to beware of because certain aspects of my temperament can hinder my leadership.

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ASSESSMENT I was especially excited about taking the Emotional Intelligence Assessment. Emotional intelligence has always been something I was curious about. I even wrote a psychology paper proposing the correlation between emotional intelligence (EI) and intelligence quotient (IQ). After extensive research, I knew that emotional intelligence plays an important role in the success of ones career and personal life. This assessment allowed me to analyze my own emotional intelligence and what that means in regards to me personally. My overall emotional quotient score is 108 placing me in the 70th percentile and above the average score of 100 for my age group. My impression management score was zero meaning that my answers remained consistent throughout the assessment making my results more valid. The assessment was broken down into five categories, each receiving their own score. All scores are based on a 0-100 point scale. The higher the score the better I am in that specific area. Of the five main categories, I scored above average for each topic when in comparison with my age group and the female population for my age group. However, my scores varied from one another. My highest scores were for Emotional Understanding (87) and Emotional Management (74). My lowest were Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expressions (68), Ego Maturity (68) and Emotional Facilitation of Thought (63). According to the emotional intelligence assessment, my greatest strengths when looking at the subcategories are: social insight (100), emotional selectivity (100), conflict resolution behavior (92), values integrity (88) and self-esteem (88). My lowest five subcategories were Emotional Self-Awareness (38), Comfort with Emotions (38), Assertiveness (46), Emotional Reflection (48) and Adaptable Social Skills (54).

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Camille Kramer Focusing primarily on the scores presented in the subcategories because they are more specific to certain types of behavior, my scores are true in my personal experiences. For instance, when interacting with people, I am aware to others feelings and perspectives illustrating my high score in social insight but I lack in my interactions to show my understanding thus explaining my low adaptable social skills. I am perfectly aware of my worth which exhibits my high self-esteem level but I constantly struggle with emotional self-awareness or comfort with my personal emotions and how to handle them. I often have a hard time communicating my emotions to others which probably means I am unaware of how I am feeling myself. I need to improve this aspect of my emotional intelligence because dealing with ones own emotions is vital to understanding others. I always considered myself an assertive person but according to the assessment it was one of my lowest-scoring categories. This opened my eyes to the realization that I am not as assertive as I consider myself to be. I think am I more assertive when it comes to getting things done for others rather than being assertive for myself The emotional intelligence assessment has made me realize that I am out of touch with my emotions and often fail to identify my true feelings. This could create an obstacle when in a leadership position because if I am unable to communicate my feelings to others, it will hinder my ability to connect with those I am leading. They might view this as being cold/stiff or a phony. I also have a tendency to ruminate from occasion to occasion which delays moving on and overcoming whatever the problem might be. My inability to be assertive could hurt me greatly when forming relationships with others. In order to get many of the things I want in life, I must be assertive to network. This skill will hurt me in academic area as well as in leading throughout my duration

PDLP

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at UGA. For instance, I hope to obtain an internship in the near future. In order to get my foot in the door, I need to meet new people and sell myself. The advice section from the emotional assessment is something I greatly value because it tells me specifically where I need improvement and how to improve. First and foremost, I need to stay in touch with my feelings. To do this, I have to be honest with myself and learn to express my emotions by first taking small steps. Once I have mastered understanding my emotions, communicating them to others is the next step. This communication encompasses actions as well as words according to the assessment. Another key area the emotional assessment pointed out reconfirmed what the personality test results showed. I need to practice distinguishing between what I am thinking and what I am feeling. I battle with conflictions of my mind and heart. The EI assessment has told me that these are not always one and the same and that it is important to know the difference. Lastly, I should not try to avoid confrontation at all costs. Not only is this unhealthy for the relationship but it leads to sulking and denial which will affect other areas of my life. This coincides with assertiveness. I must be more forthright in my life as a whole. The two dimensions of emotional intelligence I would most like to focus on in order to enhance my personal and leadership effectiveness are Emotional Identification, Perception and Expression as well as Emotional Facilitation of Thought. Dealing with emotions is not something I generally do with ease. I need great improvement in this area because it affects my entire life. Emotional recognition and management is important when creating inner-harmony which transcends to those around you. If I cannot recognize my own emotions, it will be hard for me to comfort others. I need to remember to consider the emotional implications when evaluating an issue in my life. Many effective leaders attribute their successes to trusting their instincts and intuition. I often brush them aside to follow logic. The EI assessment tells me that those who ignore this inner voice can often end up regretting it. I have experienced many situations in which I trusted my instincts. My overall results from the emotional intelligence assessment inform me that I mainly struggle with emotions on a personal level. I was aware of this already but it is different to see these conclusions written on paper. This validation of my weaknesses tells me that I have much improvement to do in order to be emotionally intelligent on the level that I seek. Exploring my results will only enhance my effectiveness as a leader. 24 | P a g e

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PDLP

STRENGTH DEPLOYMENT INVENTORY The Strength Deployment Inventory (SDI) helps people identify their personal strengths in relating to others with two conditions: 1) when everything is going well, and 2) when they are faced with conflict. The Strength Deployment Inventory taught me three things about myself. I learned about my performance when everything is going well in my life, my performance when I face conflict and how my behavior changes between the two environments. According to the SDI, I demonstrate characteristics closely related to the HUB which is flexible-cohering because it encompasses the middle of the triangle. People who are HUB when everything is going well incorporate aspects from each color (Blue, Green and Red). As a HUB, I am concerned with flexibility, the welfare of the group and the members in the group. Although I am a HUB member, my dot is on the Blue-Green border which means I am CautiousSupporting. As a Blue-Green member, my motivational value system shows that I am concerned with affirming and developing self-sufficiency in self and others as well as for thoughtfulness and helpfulness with regard to justice. When reading the descriptions of HUB and Blue-Green, I think I more so fall in line with Blue-Green because I do not consider myself very flexible. Maybe this inventory revealed a quality of me that I was previously unaware of. My arrow moves only about 4 digits from the state of being when everything is going well to being immersed in a conflicting environment. This means that my behavior is pretty consistent across the board. Again, because my arrow never leaves the HUB, I am classified as HUB when I am faced with conflict. However, HUB and Blue-Green both accurately describe me in Part 2 of the results which

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inform me of what I would like to happen when faced with conflict. As a HUB I would like to be more decisive and sensitive depending on the situation. As Blue-Green, I would like to be more assertive about my wants. I find both of these aspects true in my life but more relevant when faced with conflict. When I am in harmony, I do not notice my unassertiveness or indecisive nature. But these characteristics are key players when I am put in a difficult situation. If I improved in these areas, resolutions to my conflicts could be easily found. There is an advantage to upholding consistent behavior in both situations. I can be seen as the calm during the storm or in crisis which might cause others to gravitate toward me. But, a downside could be that people are unable to read where I stand or understand what Im feeling. I found it intriguing that acting the same in conflict and when things are going well could mean that I possess lower levels of emotional awareness because I might be out of touch with my feelings. I have no problem putting myself in other and interpreting others emotions which is a HUB quality. But, this does accurately describe me because I do often have a hard time acknowledging, understanding and dealing with my own emotions. If this is not worked on, especially during conflicts, it could lead to stress and cause many of my relationships to erode. My conflict sequence is G-[BR] which means that I first react as a Green on Stage 1, then illustrate Blue qualities on Stage 2 and later respond with Red traits on Stage 3. However, being a HUB could also mean that I interchange the colors and stages because each are in such close range with one another. SDI tells me that reacting first as a Green means that I am cautious to the situation. Being a Stage 2 Blue means that I give in and often let the opposition win. And finally, Stage 3 Red informed me that I only fight for survival. This shockingly depicts me well when I am in conflict. I personally hate conflict and will only engage in conflict if I really have to. If the result does not matter either way, I will give in just to resolve the issue. The G[BR] description sums this up perfectly.

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When classified as Blue-Green, I took notice of many strength characteristics that I could improve on so they do not become something else when overdone. For instance, in regards to Blue, my helpful could be smothering, modest could be self-effacing, overly caring might be submissive and supporting could be viewed as self-sacrificing if overdone. On the Green side, my reserved nature could be misconstrued as cold, methodical could be rigid, principled could be unbending and fair might be unfeeling. All in all, what I have learned is that too much of anything is bad and that all things must be balanced.

INTERVIEWS & FEEDBACK

DEFINING EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP When it comes to defining effective leadership, I agree with most scholars when they claim it is not easily defined. However, effective leadership is not defined by the number of followers one has or by a decorated job title or position. Leadership encompasses numerous behaviors, traits and crucibles that all together comprise an individual. In my life, I can identify a number of people I consider leaders through their actions and personalities. One person in particular is my former high school teacher Melaine Paramore. She has not only taught me academic coursework but shared life lessons with me over the years. She has illustrated to me through her actions that leadership is many things, but it is majorly comprised of integrity, confidence and perseverance. Ms. Paramore exhibits these three characteristics while conducting her classroom. She teaches with confidence which encourages trust amongst her students because they can visually see that she knows what she is doing. She lives with integrity which can be noticed through her interactions with others. Her unwavering perseverance is what I most admire. She may not always know where she is going in life but that never discourages her along the journey. To me, effective leadership means having the ability to implement change. One must be fair, open-minded and determined to be an effective leader. This person will need good communication skills and should not be afraid to take action. The list of traits and behaviors on effective leadership are endless which is why all answers are unique. In retrospect, I sought after people in my life for different perspectives. When asked, each individual gave his or her own original definition of what they believed effective leadership entailed. They also provided me with ways in which they demonstrate leadership in their daily lives.

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Camille Kramer What is effective leadership? How do you demonstrate it? Interviewees Characteristics Former teacher, -integrity mentor & friend -confidence (Ms. Paramore) -perseverance Mentor & friend (Douglas Bell) -willingness to serve -meets the needs of the individuals they are leading -ability to listen -integrity & demonstration of integrity -communication skills -assertiveness -responsibility/reliability -able to lead by example/serve as a role model -motivated & a motivator -goal-oriented

PDLP

Personal Demonstration -in charge of chemical inventory & ordering -guides/supervises 3 other chemistry teachers -lead chemistry teacher -always listens to opinions/suggestions before making a decision -portrays honesty & openness through the use of transparent communication

Friend (Michelle Simon)

Mom, Benefits Specialist II (Dona Kramer)

-takes the initiativegetting things done before being told -follows through with promises -thorough & logical decision-making -resolves departmental conflicts & issues -primary source of communication between varying levels of management -keeps the team updated on policies & procedures

Although we each used different terminology when describing effective leadership, the general idea was conclusive in that an effective leader should be able to lead. Each definition was valid and consisted of traits a leader should possess. Like theses definitions, leadership is very versatile which means it can take many forms and suit many different contexts. I believe there truly is no one meaning of effective leadership. It is a changing concept that evolves each and every day.

STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES

EXTERNAL FEEDBACK INTERVIEWS I took the relationships I have in my life into great consideration when determining who I should interview for feedback about my effective leadership style. I found four people whom I have worked with either on a professional and/or personal level. It is safe to say they know me very well and have provided me with honest, sincere feedback about my leadership potential and effectiveness. Interview Questions: 1. What are my three greatest personal strengths? 2. What are my three greatest personal weaknesses? 3. How will the three strengths (characteristic/trait/behavior) you identified help me be a more effective leader? 4. How might the weaknesses you identified impact my leadership effectiveness?

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Camille Kramer Interviewees Former teacher, mentor & friend (Ms. Paramore) Mentor & friend (Douglas Bell) Strengths -listens with care & concern -intelligentable to learn new things quickly -sincere -great listenersprocesses information first -open & honest to the people around me -trustworthykeep my word -sets strategies & prioritiesremains structured & organized -good listener -innovativeable to formulate new ideas -organization -compassion -dependability Self-Evaluation -caring/compassionate -independent -democratic

PDLP

Weaknesses -not believing in my own ability -listens to others when making decisions -insecure of who I am/ what Im capable of -Sometimes lacking confidence -introvertvoice/opinion gets lost in a group -afraid to tell my story

Friend (Michelle Simon)

-not a big risk-taker -perfectionist

Mom (Dona Kramer)

-I got this attitude -stubborn -careless -tendency to over think -indecisive -self-critical -always putting others first -closed off

Dona Kramer: My Mother The people who I have interviewed for this journal entry all vary in many ways. I have known each of them for different amounts of time. My mother, for instance, is the interviewee I have known the longest, my entire life. The funny and surely unexpected thing is though, that she provided the most shocking response to my strengths and weaknesses. She is someone who knows me the best but knows me in a different context than the others. This has showed me that many people may see you in a different light depending on the context in which you interact with them. I surely do not act the same around my mother as I do with a friend or mentor of mine. However, my mom and I have a very loving, friendship-based relationship with one another rather than the parent-child bond. Organization, compassion and dependability are all things my mom listed as my strengths, this I can agree with. She used the example of my to do list in regards to my organization. As far back as I can remember, I have always written things down to maintain order and to ensure that nothing is forgotten. One example of my compassion was illustrated when I was on my high schools volleyball team. She remembered how I would always make sure my teammates had a way home when we played away at other 29 | P a g e

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schools inside and outside of the county. Also, against her wishes, we constantly took in stray pets while I was growing up due to my persistence and compassion for animals. Dependability is something I pride myself in being and I am glad others recognize it through my actions. In my mothers words, Camille is an extremely reliable person, when she was a senior in high school she offered to drive some of the schoolmates to school so they wouldnt have to take the bus. She picked each one up at their home and made sure they all arrived on time for school. I also have depended upon her to come home to dog sit when I have gone out of town, I never have to remind her or doubt that she will not fulfill her commitment. I am not in agreement with her when it comes to some of the weaknesses she attributed to me, but I did tell her to be brutally honest. Occasionally, I do have an I got this attitude more times than not. It comes from my independence and the need to not burden others with things I can do for myself. Also, I have a constant battle with not wanting to need others, in any regards. This is something I definitely need to work on as it ties back into my tough exterior to be closed off. Stubbornness and carelessness were the other two characteristics given to me by my mom. I do not consider myself a stubborn person in general but when around her I probably am. It comes from not wanting to always do what she says; she is my mom after all. As for being careless, my mom was most likely bitter when she concocted this one because I consider myself to often care too much. She was referring to materialistic things, specifically her shoes. We wear the same shoe size and tend to borrow each others shoes, accessories and clothing. A few shoes of her became worn out, but like I explained to her, shoes are meant to be worn. But, her perspective is valued and is taken into consideration when I do my selfevaluation. Melaine Paramore: Former teacher, mentor & friend Melaine Paramore, Ms. Paramore still to me, is one of the most genuine and honest people I have ever known. She is a brilliant chemistry teacher whom I first met as a freshman in high school. She also has four kids and spends all her days with teenagers so she knows how to communicate effectively with my generation. Our relationship, even while in high school, was never confined to the classroom. We constantly talked about things other than school work and she provided me with valued advice and insights on life. Despite not seeing her very often anymore, whenever I visit her, we immediately pick up where we left off. She was too glad to participate in this interview because it gave her another chance to push me to become the person she knows I have the ability to one day be. As someone who knows me very well, Ms. Paramore was able to list my strengths as being an excellent listener, my intelligence and my sincerity. You have the great ability to listen with care and concern - You are very intelligent and - you have the ability to learn new information very quickly. These strengths will help you to reach out to others and they will respond to you as they will see your sincerity. My weaknesses were unfortunately harder to hear from her, primarily because I know it is the truth. You have the tendency to not believe in your own ability - you sometimes will listen to others and not decide on your own - and at times seem very insecure of who you are and what you are capable of. You must show confidence even if you are feeling weak. I have seen this as you interact with others. Over the years, however, during your visits since in college I have seen this slowly subsiding. You cannot let anyone see you sweat, even if you are feeling insecure, do not let anyone know, don't let it show. It pained me to hear this from her because I know I have changed since high school but I do not 30 | P a g e

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understand why. I desperately want to get back to my old self which is what my PDLP has assisted me in doing as I embarked on this self-exploration. Douglas Bell: Mentor & friend Douglas Bell, Doug, is the person I have known for the shortest amount of time but our relationship has an advantage over the others. Doug was my family cluster facilitator in a program called the LeaderShape Institute through the University of Georgia. LeaderShape is a non-profit organization that spans nation-wide with the goal of enabling college students to lead with integrity. While at the institute, 50 UGA students underwent an extensive process lasting a week long. As a cluster facilitator, Doug encouraged me and nine others to not only explore our ambitions but our character, struggles and so-called crucibles. In this small group setting, we were all able to identify each others strengths and weaknesses. Doug also works for the University of Georgia as a Student Affairs Specialist in the Office of Student Support Services under Student Affairs. Despite the fact that I have known him for a span of only months, I know our relationship will strengthen with my years to come at Georgia. During the course of the week at LeaderShape, my strengths and weaknesses became clear to my cluster family. According to Doug, You are a great listener, it is easy to see that you process information before you speak and you listen to what people have to say and make informed decisions and discussion. During LeaderShape is was clear that whenever we had a discussion you were going to hear what everyone else had to say before you made a comment. You are open and honest to the people around you. You are trustworthy; if you say something is going to get done you mean it. Like before, I can see these strengths within myself; there is no surprise. One thing I realized while at LeaderShape was that it is easy to notice ones strengths but it takes a lot of insightfulness to recognize weaknesses. Doug did just that by identifying my weaknesses as sometimes losing my voice in a discussion because of my unwillingness to speak and be heard. He also accurately declared that my fear of telling my story will hold me back Dont be afraid of telling your story. Everyone has a story that may impact someone in a positive way. I know you have a story to tell and dont be afraid to share it if it can impact someone.
Michelle Simon: Friend

Michelle Simon is someone whom I have known since the 7 grade. We attended the same middle school in North Miami Beach, Florida. I would like to think the first few years of our friendship were artificial in comparison to the depth it has grown to be now after all these years. After moving to Georgia in high-school, Michelle is one of the few friends I remained in contact with as time passed. Simply put, she is a true friend. Unlike some of the other interviewees, Michelle was able to answer the questions after seeing my transformation from a pre-teen to a young woman. I like to think Michelle is wise beyond her years. This wisdom was bestowed upon me when she recounted my strengths and weaknesses.
th

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Again, my structure and organizational skills are easily noticed. Michelle was quick to remember my use of planners even in middle school to set priorities. After many meaningful and heartfelt conversations with her over the years, I am most glad to know she thinks I am a good listener, [She] listens first before she voices her opinion. When pondering over my strengths, I would not have thought innovation was one of them, but now I can rationalize it in my mind thanks to Michelle. She is very creative; does a good job with coming up with fresh ideas. Most people who know me realize that I am not fond of taking risks, but she was the only one to point it out as one of my weaknesses. In addition, she believes my perfectionist mentality could be a downfall depending on the situation, which I completely agree. I know these tendencies could possibly hinder my growth, but it is extremely hard to change habits I have been doing for just about my entire life. COMMONALITIES & SELF-REFLECTION When comparing the responses from each of my interviewees, there were a lot of similarities. The strength that was most common was my ability to listen intently before voicing my own opinion. When in a group discussion I like to get all the facts and sides to a situation before I open my mouth. Even when speaking one-on-one with someone I always tend to share last. It might derive from the fact that I sometimes have difficulty communicating my feelings verbally. I am a much better writer. The other reoccurring theme was that I am highly organized and structured. This is obviously true and can be detected by even strangers. I like to plan and have a plan. I do wish at times that I was more spontaneous. Compassion/sincerity is the third strength that I believe most people attribute to me. I like to think of this as a strength but lately it has weighed me down because I often tend to care too much, especially about others who treat me poorly. This coincides with my need to learn how to put myself/well-being before others when necessary. My biggest weakness that is hidden from a lot of people is my constant self-criticism. This explains why I listed more weaknesses than any of the people I interviewed. I am my toughest critic. This encompasses other weaknesses like not believing in my own ability and being too much of a perfectionist. Another weakness that I think was important was being closed off when it comes to sharing. I do not like being out of my comfort zone which is something that I must confront. I do not want to hold myself back. When leading, my strengths and weaknesses play a significant role on my effectiveness. For instance, my introvert quality could cause people to not value my opinion or believe in what I say, as Doug stated. However, he reassured me you [do not] have to dominate every conversation, but make sure that your voice is heard, because it is a powerful one! He also believes that people will be willing to go the extra for me because they know I will do the same in return. Michelle summed up my strengths and weaknesses accurately: When all strengths are combined, it shows that you can lead/manage a group successfully because you have to be swift and organized so that others can have a clear understanding for what needs to be done. You must be able to accept and consider suggestions that will help the group and lastly be open minded to new ideas for the sake of the team to become a more effective leader. It can be minor setbacks because there are moments where a leader must take a risk in order to succeed, and must understand that nothing is perfect. It doesn't mean you must settle, but should be content with making what was the best decision that was possible for the group. I did not interview my older brother for this interview, not because I did not want his input but because I knew he could not get back to me in a timely manner. However, I got to see him this past weekend where I learned a few of my weaknesses from him. He says, and I completely agree with him, that I am not forward enough. He told me I need to go after and take what I want because no one will be giving me handouts or looking out for me in the real-world. This relates to networking, which I am terrible at. I am unaware of why I feel uncomfortable asking people who can help me in my prospective 32 | P a g e

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field for connections. I know everyone uses connections at some point in their lives but it makes me uneasy. Maybe it has something to do with my I got this attitude that my mother attributes to my weaknesses. Regardless of where it stems from, my brother is right and it is truly something I admire about him. He never hesitates to go after something he wants.
Success lies right outside your comfort zone.
Greg Francis

PERSONAL EXCERPT
This is a journal written as a make-up assignment for missing a class-bonding activity. I have included it in my Personal Development Leadership Portfolio because I feel that it serves an as example of personal reflection and growth that has significantly shaped the person I have become. This excerpt illustrates many components discussed in my PDLP such as emotional intelligence, life crucibles, life legacies and strengths and weaknesses. I am writing this journal on the night of the Sunday I was supposed to attend the outdoor ropes course. This is hard for me to process and formulate into words, but I want my recollection of this weekend to be as fresh as possible. Here we go The weekend of August 25-26, 2012 ended one of the worst weeks I have experienced in my life. I would have rather been anywhere than where I was. A week before, on August 19th, 2012 my older cousin died from a drug overdose. He was only 26 years old. The next morning while on my way to class I received a phone call from my aunt telling me the news. I was in utter shock and disbelief. He went to take a nap that Sunday; his dad, a doctor, went in later on to wake him and found him dead. As I write this it pains me deeply because I still have not come to terms with this tragic accident that has left my family in shambles. My fathers side of my family lives in the New England area. I flew into Whiteplains, New York on Friday morning where I met up with my Dad, older brother, Aunt Brenda and grandmother. We stayed in New York until the memorial service on Saturday afternoon which took place in Englewood, New Jersey where my cousin lived with his father, stepmother and younger halfbrother. I did not return to Atlanta until Sunday early afternoon around 1pm. From there, I drove back to Athens getting here just before 4pm. If this had never happened, Im sure I would have enjoyed myself with my classmates and would be physically exhausted right now on this Sunday night. Instead, I have had an emotionally taxing week and even tougher weekend that I am sure will not subside anytime soon. While my certificate classmates were teambuilding with one another, I realize that my family was doing the same with each other by trying to keep everyone afloat, especially my deceased cousins mom (my Aunt Maggie) and his two sisters (my cousins Layla and Hala) during this ordeal. As we sat in the cathedral waiting for the service to begin, I constantly reminded myself of why I was there. The ceremony was to celebrate my cousins life not feel sad or guilty about his death. My subconscious voice was my coach for the afternoon. She repeatedly told me to calm down, breath and focus. The last thing I wanted was to be the one who needed taking care of instead of taking care of the rest of my family. Not only was I a little 33 | P a g e

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on-edge because of my whirlwind of emotions, but this was the first time I attended a funeral, met/interacted with my cousins other side of the family and witnessed my family in such a devastated state. I remember thinking, the worst pain is not what I endure but is witnessing my family endure such sorrow. I wish it were possible to kiss and hug their tears away. As I type this, my tears begin to stream. When interacting with my family, I became aware that it was not the time to pry information out of them about how everyone was feeling or give them a mouthful of uplifting words. All each of us needed was a warm smile, a soft touch and a kind face. This was enough. My effective listening did not come from one-on-one encounters but instead came when our family was giving their remembrances to everyone in attendance. At this point, I was overcome by regret. Jaad and I were not as close as I would have hoped. He grew up in Massachusetts and I in Miami. We only saw each other years at a time. I wish I had done a better job at keeping in touch. The speeches given by his father, his sisters, uncles, mother and friends informed me a lot about his life, stuff I wish I had already known. They showed true leadership and courage when speaking about Jaad. They did not downplay Jaads troubles but instead spoke the honest and raw truth. Jaad was a brilliant person who could never cause anyone intentional pain. However, he struggled with self-criticism. I realized, this was something Jaad and I shared. He was the hardest on himself which is why I think he succumbed to drugs. He could not find his lifes calling as easy as his older sisters who are both successful, one a business woman graduate from Cornell and the other a shoe designer for major shoe industries. I learned that he had been on and off drugs for years. Thinking back on all the time I spent with him, I would have never known. He kept everything to himself. The only thing he was forthright with was his love for hockey. He was most happy on the ice, it was his true bliss. Looking back to yesterday, I realized that I was very uncomfortable but it did not matter. Under any other circumstances it would have been all I could think about. But at the time, crying, breaking down and being completely vulnerable in front of over a hundred strangers, some of whom I just met, was what I had to do. Jaad deserved the truth from everyone that day, he needed to know how much we all loved and missed him. And I am the kind of person who does not show emotion easily, but this did me in. The reception followed at a restaurant across the street, luckily the atmosphere was much less intense. I am always aware of my age when in the company of my fathers family. I am the youngest grandchild. This led me to interact differently from my natural tendency to take the lead. During this time, I found myself not so much as a leader but as a caregiver. I spent my afternoon and evening making sure everyone else was okay and had what they needed. At times, I even followed by taking cues from family members who are wiser than myself. My willingness to follow during this trip was an easy transition for me. I learned a great deal of things from Jaads premature death. Even though we have not spoken in quite a while, I feel like I hear him crystal clear now. He is telling me that life is short. It is too short to be unhappy, to do anything but your hearts desire; too short to not spend it with the ones you love. I know he is gone and not coming back, but I will always carry him in my heart and spirit.

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To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.

Thomas Campbell

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COMPONENT IV: DEVELOPMENT ACTION PLAN

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After an extensive evaluation of my strengths and weaknesses throughout this endeavor, I have made note of a few key outcomes I would like to further explore. These development outcomes serve as action plans to follow as I embark on my journey in sight of becoming a more effective leader.

DEVELOPMENT OUTCOME I: Better maintain and utilize the relationships in my life whether it is family, friends, mentors or colleagues.
This outcome stems for my desire to better connect and keep in contact with the people already in my life while also developing my social skills to expand my network. It is particularly important to me because I am horrible at keeping in touch with people in general, family and friends. I want to make sure the people in my life feel valued. A key concept of leadership is surrounding oneself with people who love, support and help them along the journey. These people serve as outlets and resources if need be. In leadership and life in general, it is important to have a confidant. This person should be someone you can disclose to no matter the circumstance. Strengthening my relationships will directly improve my interpersonal skills and my ability to relate to others which will aid me when in positions of leadership. If I further develop my networking skills, I will be able to utilize these people when seeking future opportunities. Increasing my people power will not only benefit me but it will put me in a position where I connect my connections with people I know. I know the better I get at practicing this outcome, the harder it will be to maintain because my network will become larger, but I am willing to take on the challenge by practicing specific activities to ensure my success. Development Activities Send personalized notes frequently thanking someone for simple things like friendship, support, encouragement, time, etc. Resources/Support Me Timeline Start: When applicable Duration: Indefinitely Potential Obstacles Forgetfulness, procrastination Evidence of Progress At the end of each week, I will make a list of people who deserve a note. Once it is sent, I will cross them off the list. I will make a set number of connections a day on LinkedIn. I will also update my profile when necessary. Each day I will pick the person to contact for the next day. I will have their contact information ready. When I need 37 | P a g e

Use LinkedIn on a daily basis.

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Unfamiliarity with the website.

Make at least one phone Me call and/or send at least one email every day to maintain relationships/connections.

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Being able to make small talk. Feeling awkward talking to someone I dont personally know.

Ask for help, connections,

Me & contact

Start: Now

Feeling like a

Camille Kramer referrals, references from network. Duration: Indefinitely bother. Fear of rejection.

PDLP

I will practice exchanging business cards to expand my address book.

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Practice my small talk capabilities.

Me & whoever listens

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Be genuine by sharing with those closest to me.

Me & friend/family

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

someone to help me get to a desired state, I will first write down my question & how they can help before contacting them. The person does I will start a not have a business card business card or collection is unwilling to which will add give it out. to my who to call/email list. Print my business cards. Not knowing I will start a how to start a conversation conversation and with one relate to stranger per strangers. day. Tendency to I share at least keep personal once a week matters to about what is myself. Feeling going on in my like being life (fears, judged. desires, experiences, etc.)

DEVELOPMENT OUTCOME II: To become more outspoken and increase my level of comfort when speaking by enhancing my verbal communication skills.
One reoccurring quality about me that I have recently started to notice more and more is my inability to speak up and voice my opinions. I often find myself remaining quiet in group discussions instead of making my voice known. It is not that I have nothing say, I just rather listen intently to everyone else. This weakness may stem from my introvert nature or just plain and simple shyness. I feel far more comfortable keeping my thoughts to myself rather than making them heard. However, while in a leadership position, it is important to make yourself heard in order to gain the trust of followers. Developing my ability to channel extrovert characteristics will not only enhance my leadership skills but will ultimately improve all aspects of my life from professional to personal contexts. Improvement of my verbal communication skills will aid countlessly in future interactions in varying environments. This outcome is important to me because I believe it greatly effects what people think of me. I do not want onlookers to inaccurately portray me as someone who is unwilling to stand up for her views. While in a position of power, I do not want to appear closed off or unapproachable to my constituents. Being able to better express myself verbally will allow me to communicate more 38 | P a g e

Camille Kramer

PDLP

efficiently. To fully embrace this outcome I must get out of my comfort zone by taking a number of measures. Development Activities Use emphasis when speaking to draw the attention of others. Master my nonverbal communication skills. Nonverbal communication affects how verbal communication is interpreted. Resources/Support Me; A friend who will listen & critique Timeline Start: Now Duration: Until I master the skill Potential Obstacles Getting out of my comfort zone. Evidence of Progress Comparison of the feedback given to me after numerous practice sessions.

Interpersonal Communication Class (SPCM 1500) material ; Me

Start: Now Duration: Until I master the skill

Overcoming the fear of looking awkward.

Think before I speak to organize my thoughts.

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Speak with confidence.

Me; A friend who will listen & critique

Start: Now Duration: Until I master the skill

Participate in daily class discussions.

Me, classmates & professors

Start: Now Duration: Until I graduate (May 2014) Start: Now Duration: Until I have evidence my verbal communication skills have improved.

Attend University of workshops/seminars Georgia and on verbal community communication & public speaking.

Actively recognize the use of my body/facial expressions when communication & noticing the nonverbal communication of others. Staying focused on Delivering my the topic being thoughts in discussed. concise manner without awkward pauses. Acknowledging how many times I say um. Overcoming my Have a listener insecurities and evaluate my eyeuncomfortableness contact, body about speaking up. language, diction & tone. Fear of being Actively voicing viewed as my opinions or dominating the answers conversation. questions during class. Possibly money Hearing feedback and/or time and utilizing the constraints. skills I have learned.

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PDLP

DEVELOPMENT OUTCOME III: To maintain constant inner-harmony by acknowledging my needs and putting myself first when necessary.
In my opinion, this is the most important development outcome. Inner-harmony is defined as being in a state lacking conflict and achieving a tranquil emotional state. This outcome is in relation to the Emotional Intelligence Assessment and stresses the role and importance of emotions in everyday life. For an individual, I believe the key to success, good health, and happiness is maintaining innerpeace. The benefits to possessing inner-harmony are transferrable to all aspects of life. When one is personally content, they are more likely to perform better in the workplace and project a positive outlook onto others. It is important to have someone who is optimistic and encouraging because emotions and moods are contagious. Mastering a constant balance within me will greatly benefit my leadership ability and effectiveness because I will be more apt to lead others if I am successfully leading myself first. I strongly believe that it is impossible to focus on other tasks if youre conflicted with yourself. Taking care of yourself first will ensure that you are capable to care for others. Achieving inner-harmony can be done through various methods depending on the individual. Measurement of whether or not these methods work is also completely subject to the person undergoing this process. For me, my inner-harmony can be reached by practicing these specifics tasks which were taken from The Positivity Blog written by Henrik Edberg. Development Activities Set Limits. Resources/Support Me; Advice from others Timeline Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely Potential Obstacles Always holding myself to perfect standards. Not being able to say no. Finding the time. Being able to clear my mind when doing this. Tendency to care too much about the little things. Evidence of Progress Having downtime to myself. Checking social networks less to reduce stress. Physically feeling rejuvenated and re-energized afterwards. Determining significance & letting go accordingly. Giving myself allocated time to complete tasks in a slow manner & using all that time. Having a physically decluttered workspace and room. Focus on one task at a time to see it through. Ex: No tv while doing 40 | P a g e

Find a relaxation technique that works for me. Recognizing the difference between mountains & molehills. Slow down.

Me

Start: Now Duration Indefinitely Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Me; Perspective of others

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Getting over the need to get things done as quickly as possible. Abstaining from my pack-rat tendencies. My knack for multi-tasking.

Declutter my world, declutter my mind. Get rid of unnecessary distractions.

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Me

Camille Kramer

PDLP

Accept & let go.

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Over-thinking and constantly reminding myself of past events. Feeling like I should be doing something productive. Procrastination & my tendency to avoid conflict.

Escape for a while.

Me; hobby

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Solve a problem that is weighing me down.

Me

Breathe.

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Forgetting what is going on to focus only on breathing.

Get rid of any negativity.

Me

Start: Now Duration: Indefinitely

Feeling the need to fix problems & mend relationships.

homework. Assessing my emotions on a regular basis & remaining in the present. Giving myself at least an hour a day to do whatever I want. Address whatever is bothering me by facing it head-on. Comparing how I felt before & after. Time myself for 2 minutes while breathing in & out to calm my body and return to the present moment. Recognizing people who bring grief into my life. Practicing behavior that distances myself from these people who only want to bring me down.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr

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Camille Kramer OUTCOME MAP Higher Level Outcome: What will having this do for me? Enable success in my personal and professional life by making me more apt to lead myself and others.

PDLP

Higher Level Outcomes: What will having this do for me? Make me more adaptable to change. Keep me content regardless of outside factors. Establish a healthy emotional state; increase my emotional intelligence.

Initial Outcome:

I want to maintain constant inner-harmony by acknowledging my needs and putting myself first when necessary.

What stops me? I care too much about things that are out of my control. I hold myself to perfect standards.

What do I want instead? I want to change the things that I can, and accept & let go of everything else. I want to give myself a break and stop my self-criticism. I want to rid myself of negative people and negative situations.

I feel like I need to fix every problem and mend every relationship. I do not put myself first.

I want to be able to better assess my emotional state and respond in accordance to what the situation calls for. I want to put myself before others.

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Camille Kramer

PDLP

EPILOGUE
At the beginning of the extensive process of composing my Personal Development Leadership Portfolio (PDLP) I was searching for somone. What I found, is a young woman undergoing self-discovery to find greater meaning in her life. Thanks to the PDLP, I have brought my lifes purpose, values and future ambitions into focus. I can now articulate my leadership vision and style with ease. In the future, my PDLP will serve as a resource to remind me of my truest self when facing life crucibles. This journey was not made alone. I want to give thanks to the important people in my life who I interviewed. I greatly appreciate your honest feedback. It has made me a better person today. I want to acknowledge the people in my life and experiences I have had past and present that have shaped me to become a person I am very proud of today. Lastly, I want to extend a special thank you to a strong, amazing woman whom without her my self-exploration would not have even began. Dr. Vikki Clawson not only encouraged me to touch into undiscovered realms within myself, she nurtured me throughout my journey. I am truly grateful to have been given the opportunity to participate in the Personal Development Leadership Portfolio process.

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