The Mayor's Aunt

The Mayor’s Aunt
The Mayor’s Aunt

✦
A Chronicle Of One Life
Spent In Buffalo NY
During The 20th Century
Thomas Murphy
iUniverse, Inc.
New York Lincoln Shanghai
The Mayor’s Aunt
A Chronicle Of One Life Spent In Buffalo NY During The 20th Century
Copyright © 2007 by Thomas J. Murphy
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ISBN: 978-0-595-46821-8 (pbk)

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Contents
Preface . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vii
Ch a p t e r 1 A Youth in the Old First Ward . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Ch a p t e r 2 The Man of Her Dreams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Ch a p t e r 3 Buffalo’s West Side . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Ch a p t e r 4 Contentment—The Middle Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Ch a p t e r 5 Arduous Retirement Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
v
Preface
In the 2003 movie,”Secondhand Lions”, an elder counseled his grand-

nephew, “Just because something may not be true, doesn’t mean that you
can’t believe it! Sometimes, the things that may or may not be true are the
things that a (person) needs to believe in the most.”
I respectfully request that you accept this same advice from me as you
read this small book. For while this story embellishes, and exaggerates, it
never lies. All of the recorded statements and events could be true, and this
retelling lacks the intention to harm or disparage anyone or anything.
The “Mayor’s Aunt” was my mother, who I loved dearly. She came into
this world, alone, on April 11,1905, although she gave a later birth year for
most of her days. Her lifetime, which spanned most of the Twentieth
Century, was spent in Buffalo, New York. These were tumultuous times,
and Kay devoted most of her energy to the avoidance of those forces and
circumstances which she deemed threatened her well being. She had little
inclination, or energy, for anything else.
She was a practicing Catholic for all of her life. She truly feared “the loss
of heaven and the pains of hell” and therefore it is doubtful that she ever
deliberately violated any of the Ten Commandments. She wished no harm
to either man nor woman, and therefore fully expected that she would
“find her great reward in heaven” as promised her by the Beatitudes. She
never found the time to practice any of the Corporal Works of Mercy, but
she was sure that these were the responsibility of those who were blessed
with far more material goods than she ever possessed. Nor did Kay ever
feel the pain of despair, for she never hoped for more than she received
from life.
If knowing that you are loved is the only one true happiness in life, then
Kay Murphy lived an unhappy life. She found no evidence of affection in
any home she ever inhabited. Neither her mother, her siblings, her hus-
band, nor any of her children, were demonstrably loving. And Kay
vii
viii The Mayor’s Aunt
responded in kind, never having learned any other way of living. My

mother didn’t want anything to do with child rearing or housekeeping.
But she had to do it, because that was the manner in which respectable
women made their way in this world.
She met and married a man who nourished and supported her for more
than fifty years In turn, she was his gracious companion and helpmate, as
they established and operated a successful business enterprise. She gave
birth to three beautiful and healthy children, who grew into educated, pro-
ductive, wholesome adults. Her children married loving spouses and Kay’s
fifteen grandchildren relished her presence and enjoyed her jokes, and
worldly counsel. Yet, at the end of her life, Kay was as proud of the fact
that her nephew, who she had never known, had been elected Mayor of
Buffalo, as anything she, or her offspring, had accomplished in life.
She left this world on October 11,1988, again alone. Although she had
found little comfort in life, she had lived each day as she found it, without
complaint and without any expressed regret
“Hold your parents tenderly, for the world will seem a strange
and lonely place when they are gone.”
—‘The Belle of Amherst”
by William Luce
ix
1
A Youth in the Old First Ward
“Out of Ireland have we come, great hatred, little

room, maimed us at the start. I carry from my mother’s womb
a fanatic heart”.
—W B Yeats
Catherine Teresa Griffin was born in Buffalo NY on July 12, 1905. She
was the third child born to Thomas and Catherine Griffin (nee Quinn).
Older siblings were brothers James and Thomas, and a sister, Agnes was
born a few years later. Finally, the Griffins were blessed with Mary, their
third daughter. Mary, beautiful but frail, died as an infant. The death cer-
tificate cited the cause as “pleurisy”.
“Ma” Griffin, the family matriarch, was born Katherine Quinn, in
Three Mile Cross, Ireland and had emigrated to the United States as a
young girl. “Ma” had few fond memories of the ‘old sod’, refusing to even
discuss a return visit.. “Tis a terribly poor and dirty place” she often stated.
When asked about her family, who remained in Ireland, “Ma” briskly
responded, “The only time I ever hear from them, they’re asking me to
send them money!”
Shortly after her arrival in Buffalo, the young Katherine Quinn met
Tom Griffin, a handsome, strapping Irishman, with jet black hair, parted
in the middle, and a handlebar mustache. He had a good job, engineer on
the Erie Railroad, and the couple decided to marry, raise their family, and
to prosper in Buffalo, New York. They first settled in Buffalo’s Old First
Ward, where their family remained until the very end of their days. The
population of the Old First Ward was almost entirely Irish. Here was Buf-
falo’s earliest housing stock. Many of the homes were small cottages, with
1
2 The Mayor’s Aunt
neither basements nor central heat. Employment opportunities were avail-

able only a few blocks away,—on Buffalo’s waterfront, on the docks and in
the numerous grain mills along the water.
Buffalo, the eighth largest U.S. city, with a population of 352,387, had
inaugurated the 20th Century with a flamboyant display of vitality and
wealth,—The Pan-American Exposition of 1901. This world’s fair fea-
tured the “Electric Tower”, encased by “The Court of Fountains”. More
than two thousand sculptures, some historical, others allegorical, dotted
the 350 acres of the exposition. A ‘Midway’ featured “transplanted native
villages with real natives in them”. But the highlight of the exposition was
the ostentatious display of electricity. Incandescent lights outlined each
building. Walter Pages, editor of the Atlantic Monthly, described the emo-
tions of seeing the Exposition being lit at dusk: “Here is nocturnal archi-
tecture, nocturnal landscapes, nocturnal gardens and long vistas of
nocturnal beauty. At a distance, the Fair presents the appearance of a
whole city in illumination”
But for the Griffins, and other residents of Buffalo’s First Ward, the
highlight of the Exposition was an Irish football match. The Buffalo News
described the ‘sporting event’, “For roughness it has got the regulation col-
lege game scraped to a polish. Black eyes, bloody noses and cracked heads
were much in evidence by the time the first half was over. The game
resembled a free fight more than anything else”.
In later years Tom Griffin would regale his children with the story of
how “Ma” and he had attended the Pan-American and paid 50 cents each
to watch the electrocution of Jumbo, a mammoth but crazed elephant.
The children would roar each time their father described how 11,000 volts
of electricity had failed to kill old Jumbo, because the elephant’s hide was
so thick that the current didn’t faze him. The children would be silent,
and filled with awe, whenever their father whispered the story of how he,
and hundreds of others, had waited outside Buffalo police headquarters,
hoping that they would be given the opportunity to punish the anarchist,
Leon Czolgosz, the man who had shot and killed beloved President McK-
inley, while he attended the Fair. This was a side of their congenial father’s
personality that they were seldom allowed to view,—the dark, vindictive
A Youth in the Old First Ward 3
spirit of reprisal and retribution that has marked Irish families and neigh-
borhoods throughout Buffalo’s history.
The Griffin family had settled in the Uniontown section of Buffalo’s
First Ward, near Katherine Street. The First Ward, near the docks, the
railroads, and the factories, had been home to most of Buffalo’s Irish since
the waves of Irish immigrants arrived in the 1840’s and 1850’s. The open-
ing of Lackawanna’s Iron and Steel Bessemer Converter, and the correc-
tion of Cazenovia and Buffalo Creek flooding problems in 1902 had
spurred a movement of many Irish families from ‘The Ward’ into South
Buffalo, but the Griffins epitomized the statement, “Once (an Irish family)
settled in the First Ward, few left”.
Buffalo’s (Old) First Ward was home to two Roman Catholic Churches
and schools, St. Bridget’s ‘s and Our Lady of Perpetual Help. Employment
opportunities abounded for the unschooled and unskilled Irish work-
ers,—the first stockyards in Buffalo were located at Elk and Van Renssaler
Streets-, grain scoopers were always needed in the numerous grain eleva-
tors that lined the Buffalo River and the lake freighters offered long-shore-
man jobs, only a few blocks away. And, of course, with Buffalo being the
second largest railroad terminus in the nation, there was always work for
the able-bodied in the railroad yards that dotted and defined the bound-
aries of the First Ward and the abutting neighborhood, the Valley. It was
not uncommon for a man to work as a “grain scooper”during the Great
Lakes shipping season and then, during the winter, to seek work on the
railroads or digging canals and warehouse slips and repairing Buffalo’s sea
walls.
In 1908, while it was true that wages for the unskilled worker were rela-
tively low, (Lackawanna Steel was paying it’s mill hands 12 cents per hour
for working a twelve hour work day and seventy-two-hour week with an
incredible twenty-four-hour stint every fortnight when the shift changed),
anyone in the Ward who was willing to work long, hard and dangerous
hours, could earn a living. One Sunday morning, following 8AM Mass at
St. Bridget’s, the Griffins saw a family friend, Tommy Moore, wearing a
sling on his arm. Moore explained that he had slipped on the ice near the
docks where he had been assigned steam fitting work on a disabled lake
freighter. After describing an arduous, two mile trek through knee high
snow to return to his employer’s shop, Moore hoarse whispered, “Would
you believe it, Tom? McKutchen paid me for the whole day, even though
I hadn’t done a lick of work!”
“Ma”, a small, sinewy woman, was proud that “her Tom” was a railroad
engineer, and not one of the pack of “scoopers” and black-guards who
hung around Hagen’s Tavern each night. And, when she, and her brood,
visited the Elk street Market, Anthony McGowan, head of the market
always addressed her as “Mrs. Griffin” and inquired into the health of
“himself”(Mr. Griffin).
A City of Buffalo guidebook of that period described the Elk Street
Market as, “more of a wholesale market and the largest in the city. There
are probably fifty or more stalls within the market proper, the majority of
which are occupied by butchers, both wholesale and retail. Outside will be
found many wholesale commission men whose business places are again
flanked with numerous stalls, stands etc. where butter eggs, vegetables,
fruits and farm produce comprise the principal goods offered for sale.…
Saturday is the chief market day and the day when one will find most to
interest him, if disposed to visit.”
The Griffin’s home was typical of most of the residences on the First
Ward. The one and a half story structure, was long and narrow, with little
front or side yard. There was no basement, but a storage shed was attached
to the rear of the living quarters. In New Orleans, similar homes were
called “shotgun flats” because the rooms were laid out linearly, and a shot-
gun could be fired through the front door and the shell would exit the rear
door, without hitting or damaging a wall.
In the Griffin household, three small bedrooms adjoined the living
room and (formal) dining room. Heat for the five rooms was provided by
a free-standing, wood burning stove. But most of the family’s activities
took place in the large kitchen, where a large round wooden table, and
eight chairs, provided a place for doing homework, reading, sewing,
games, food preparation, eating or just doing nothing, although “Ma”
always had some chore for the children to do before they could just daw-
dle. The kitchen was heated by a large, black cast-iron wood burning stove
and oven. ‘Ma” baked biscuits every day and on most days, rice pudding
was the staple dessert.
One door, to the right of the stove, opened into the bathroom which
contained a wash basin, toilet, and free standing bathtub. Probably
because the door was always closed, the heat from the kitchen stove failed
to reach this room, and the bathroom was always chilly. A second door, to
the left of the stove, led to a narrow pantry that extended eight to ten feet
in length. Here were the cupboards, which held pots and pans, and pie
tins. Plates, soup bowls, cups and saucers, were stored on upper shelves.
There was a sink and a counter. It seemed that there was a half of ham,
with the bone in, on the platter, perpetually sitting on the counter. Some-
times there would be a lemon pie, sometimes there would be an apple pie,
sometimes there would be no pie, or other dessert, but it seemed that there
was always ham. There was no ice box or other means of cooling. The pan-
try, however, was cold in the winter, mostly cool in the summer, and
served as storage facilities for perishable food stuffs. A door at the rear of
the pantry led into the covered and enclosed storage shed, where fire
wood, tools and miscellaneous paraphernalia were kept. Another door
from the kitchen led to stairs to the attic, which was little more than a
crawl space and initially was only used for storage.
The Griffin children were baptized in the Roman Catholic faith at St.
Bridget’s Church and each completed eight years schooling at the paro-
chial school. Father Lanigan was St. Bridget’s pastor, and the Sisters of
Mercy taught their pupils the ABC’s, the social graces, Irish songs and tales
of historical Irish heroes and saints, and a hatred of anything “British”.
It was here that the Griffin children, and their Irish classmates, learned
the truths that would last them a lifetime: to love America and Ireland; to
fear “the loss of heaven and the pains of hell”; and that one’s social stand-
ing was determined by nationality, where you lived, and what you did, and
not by what was owned or owed. And above all, that all Roman Catholics
were equal in the sight of God. Every man, woman, and child was a crea-
ture of God, and no one should be hated because of the color of his skin,
or because he didn’t speak English, or because he ate different foods. And
of all God’s creatures, the Irish were most favored by God. These ‘truths’
were taught early and often, and once learned they lasted a lifetime, and
were passed on from generation to generation.
In 1911, when politicians and educators were attempting to establish
the University of Buffalo as a Liberal Arts college, which would primarily
serve local high school graduates, the Buffalo Courier quoted a First Ward
priest as opposing any institution where “materialism, atheism, free love as
opposed to matrimony and the sanctity of the home, will be taught to the
children of our laboring classes”.
Catherine’s early years were pleasant. Sure there were always chores to
do, and usually “Ma” left the tending and supervision of Agnes to Cathe-
rine, but there were also daily errands to be run, to the bakery, or to the
A&P market, or to McMahon’s grocery store, where Mrs McMahon
always rewarded Catherine with a few pieces of ‘penny’ candy.
Catherine, and other little girls, could go to Lanigan Playground, on
Fulton Street near Louisiana, only a few short blocks from the Griffin’s
home, where there were swings and slides, and what seemed to be a per-
petual baseball game. Of course girls weren’t invited to participate in any
of the athletic contests and in fact the boys who played at Lanigan, Billy
Dent, Mike Scanlon, Tom Reedy Johnny Collins, and her brothers Jimmy
and Tommy, had very little to do with girls at any time.
A particular delight for Catherine was the occasional visit to the Mas-
que Theatre, where silent films were shown. Catherine saw comedies star-
ring Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin and Fatty Arbuckle; as well as movies
with Zasu Pitts, Mary Pickford and Rudolph Valentino, all for only the
price of a nickle. And each autumn, St Bridget’s held their Lawn Fete.
This three day celebration was the social focus of the entire neighborhood,
with it’s children’s rides, carnival games and contests, beer tents, hot dogs
and small bands providing dance music for groping couples.
There were no swimming pools located near the Griffin’s home, and
the nearby Buffalo River and the lakefront docks were where men worked,
not where children swam. None of the Griffin children had any affinity for
water sports, and in fact, Catherine had a lifelong fear of deep water and of
drowning.
And then, when Catherine was eight years old, there came the day that
none of the Griffin children would ever forget,—the first St Patrick’s Day
Parade in Buffalo’s history.
The march had been planned, and much anticipated, since the previous
summer. 5,000 Irishmen would march from the Elk Street Market, up Elk
Street to Euclid Place and then would turn at Smith Street and march
back along the same route until everyone disbanded at the foot of Main
Street. Of course, no one anticipated that there would be more than a few
tired souls at the disembarkment site, since by that time the First Ward’s
119 saloons would be overflowing with the Parade’s marchers, along with
their male friends, relatives and on-lookers.
The Parade route went right by the Griffin’s front door. Mike Quinn,
the Parade’s first marshal, led the procession, followed by Catholic Bishop
Charles Colton, former pastor of St Bridget’s RC Church, and Father Lan-
igan, the current pastor of St Bridgets. Buffalo Mayor Louis Fuhrmann
had been scheduled to march but cancelled at the last moment, due to the
sub-zero temperature and harsh weather conditions. Buffalo’s ‘finest’ were
represented by the men of BFD Engine Companys 8 & 10, with their
shiny pumpers and hook and ladders, along with what seemed to be the
bulk of the Buffalo Police Dept., the men of the Louisiana Street Station,
all dressed in their navy blue uniforms.
And of course, other prominent Irish businessmen and politicians,
including Jack White, Anthony McGowan, William “Fingy” Conners,
William H Fitzpatrick, couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be seen “wear-
ing the green” as each waved to their constituents who lined the street and
stood on their stoops, bundled against the icy blasts coming off Lake Erie.
But neither red, runny noses, nor numbing finger tips and toes, could
dim the glint in the eyes of the four Griffin kids when their “Dad”, march-
ing in the front row of the Knights of Equity members, flashed his lumi-
nous smile and broadly waved to his “woman”, his two strapping sons and
his “little darlings”.
As soon as the Knights of Equity contingent had passed by, the Griffin
family went inside, where they could warm themselves by the heat of the
stove, while “Ma” prepared hot cocoa and biscuits to fill their stomach and
warm their hearts. They figured that it would take at least one half hour
for the marchers to proceed the three city blocks to Smith Street, turn
around and retrace the march to Griffin’s home, for yet another smile and
wave of the hand from their dad.
Suddenly, there was Tom Griffin slouched in the kitchen doorway. No
longer smiling, his face ashen, he said only, “Kate! I’m not feeling well. I’ve
got the chills”.
“Ma” shushed the children, and acted as Tom’s crutch, as he staggered
toward the bedroom.
Once he was in bed, ‘Ma’ layered quilts and blankets atop the shivering
giant of a man, to produce a sweat that would empty his body of all illness.
Two days later, Tom Griffin died, never regaining consciousness. The
death certificate listed the cause of death as “pneumonia”.
The following three days were a blur for the children. Women of all
ages and descriptions brought food to the Griffin kitchen, where they
stopped to say a few prayers at the bier and trade gossip and make sand-
wiches and boil cabbage and potatoes. In the evenings the kitchen area was
taken over by what appeared to the children to be very large and very loud
men. All of the men seemed to be smoking cigars or pipes, and there were
even a few cigarette smokers.
They sat and stood around a keg of beer, drinking, swapping sport sto-
ries, having political arguments and retelling boisterous and happy tales
that often began … “Do you remember the time that Tom …” There
were a few tears, but no weeping or bewailing, for deep in his heart, every
Irishman knows that there never can be life before death, and this was a
First Ward Irish wake,—a send off for good ol’ Tom Griffin, who had
gone to his final reward in heaven.
On March 23, 1913, after a burial Mass at St Bridget’s Church, Tho-
mas Griffin was interred in Our Lady of Victory Cemetery on Ridge Road.
After the funeral ceremony, “Ma” and her children stopped at St
Patrick’s Church to say a few final prayers. The pastor of St Patrick’s was
Father Nelson Baker, renowned for his fund raising abilities in behalf of
unwed mothers and orphans. Father Baker was also the Superintendent of
St Joseph’s Orphanage and had recently supervised the construction of
Our Lady of Victory Infant Home, where refuge, prenatal care and adop-
tive services was provided for hundreds of infants and unwed mothers.
“Ma” shepherded her brood to the orphanage grounds where she
recounted the horrific tales of life in the orphanages and ‘work houses’ that
young Katie Quinn (herself) had heard while she was a girl living in Ire-
land. With pursed lips “Ma” emphasized that the “bad boys and girls”
confined in these institutions were deserving of “the wages of sin” and that
those committing the sin of adultery could expect nothing better than
hardship, cruelty and scorn from ‘decent people’.
“Ma” assured her bug-eyed audience that they had nothing to fear as
long as they ‘behaved themselves’ as good Catholics, and showed their
respect to their mother, to members of the clergy, and to God. “Ma” said
that she would only send any of her children to “Father Baker’s” if they
misbehaved.
All ethereal quality of life for the Griffins disappeared when they awoke
the following morning.
“Ma” immediately announced that Jimmy, the oldest child, would no
longer be attending school. Rather, she instructed him to take the trolley
to Michigan Avenue and then to walk over to Gansen Street, where Wash-
burn Crosby was operating a grain mill. “Ma” lectured that her boy was to
get a full time job, but to tell people that he was an educated man and that
he wasn’t interested in ‘scooper’ work or unskilled labor in the mills. Fur-
ther, she pronounced that Tommy, one year younger than Jim, could
complete his seventh and eighth years of education at St Bridgets only if he
succeeded in obtaining a newspaper route, or work at a newspaper stand,
after school hours.
The two girls, too young for paid employment, were disabused of all
notions of a “life of leisure” when “Ma” announced that henceforth she
would have to take in ‘boarders’ to defray household expenses and that the
girls would be responsible for daily housekeeping duties.
At that time, running a boarding house was one of the Ward’s principal
‘cottage industries’. There were fourteen of them on Ohio Street alone.
Each month hundreds of Irish immigrants came to the Ward seeking work
in the freight yards, grain elevators, docks, slips and railroads that perme-
ated the area. Of course, the largest ‘cottage industry’ in this Irish commu-
nity was the saloon, and most of the boarding houses were run in
conjunction with the liquor business. The saloon also served as a hiring
hall, with the bar owner acting as hirer, supervisor, and provider of food,
drink and shelter to the newcomer to “the land of milk and honey”. It’s no
wonder that so many of the workers found themselves at the end of the
shipping season, not only out of money, but deeply in debt to their land-
lord.
‘Ma’ Griffin had determined that she could run a ‘decent’ place for a
man to live. First, there would be no drinking on the premises. Second,
meals would be wholesome, but served only on a regular, scheduled basis.
And lastly, boarders would not be allowed to have visitors, male or female,
for any reason. This was to provide privacy for the other boarders and to
insure security for the Griffin children.
It was, of course, necessary that the children make other adjustments
and adopt new disciplines. All of the Griffin children had to forego their
bedroom spaces and henceforth the children would sleep on mattresses in
the attic, which was little more than a crawl space. Boarders had first call
on the bathroom facilities. Jim was now the ‘man of the house’ and as such
was allowed to take his meals with the boarders and was relieved of house-
hold tasks. The other children would assist in the preparation and service
of food, as well as the clean-up after meals. Naturally, they would wait
until the men had finished their meals before they could partake of the
left-overs. Each of the Griffin children was instructed to spend their leisure
time, what little they had, outside of the home, so that they wouldn’t be
underfoot much of the time.
Thus, in one breakfast meeting, a familial hierarchy was established that
was to last a lifetime.
James D Griffin, the eldest son, was designated “man of the house”, the
breadwinner, disciplinarian and arbitrator of all disputes. Thomas was des-
tined to remain the second son, not given many responsibilities, not
expected to accomplish great deeds, and not accorded any undue respect.
The two daughters, Catherine and Agnes, were handmaidens to their
mother, and while neither could be gracious, they accepted their servile
duties and responsibilities as their ‘lot in life’. And, Tom Griffin, husband
and father, was never mentioned or discussed in family circles again!
From that day forward, life would be harsh for the Griffins. Niceties
would be hard won and rare. Luxuries would be beyond their imagination
and therefore would seem to be ill-gotten and only acquired by the
wicked. Bitterness had no ‘statute of limitations’ and was best tempered by
self-deception and masked by deceitfulness toward others.
In one respect, Jim Griffin’s first search for employment came at a most
opportune time, for Washburn Crosby was beginning an expansion pro-
gram that would make their Buffalo facility the fourth largest elevating
and milling complex in the nation. In only a week or two, construction of
a fireproof, concrete structure was to begin. Once finished this electrically
driven, efficient and economical facility would make the traditional steam
powered mills, all but obsolete. Young Jim had been hired as a messenger
boy, who would carry orders and messages between the six story brick pier
milling building, the existing nine tile storage bins and the construction
site of Elevator C2.
As he grew into manhood, Jim developed an easy grace and athleticism
usually associated with actor/dancer Gene Kelly. He was blessed with a
ready smile and gleam in his eye that characterizes the ‘handsome’ Irish-
man. Jim remained a bachelor and lived the rest of his life in the small cot-
tage where he was born. He never smoked, occasionally would have a taste
of beer, and though at times he flashed a hot temper, he was never known
to use foul language of any kind. His demeanor announced to one and to
all that ‘Jim Griffin was beholden to no one’.
The younger Griffin boy, Tommy, now known as ‘Rocko’, was slight of
build, yet was considered by many to be the superior athlete of the two
Griffin boys. His diffident manner, characterized by a reflexive downward
glance, and a quiet smile, bespoke shyness. Rocko obtained a morning
paper route shortly after his father’s death and despite a life-long propen-
sity toward early morning drowsiness, he held this position until his grad-
uation from St Bridget’s Parochial School in 1915. He then applied for
employment at Beals, McCarthy and Rogers, a large hardware and tool
outlet, which was located at the southeast corner of Katherine and Elk
Streets, near the Griffin’s home. He remained an employee of Beals for the
rest of his working life, until his retirement in 1978.
The Griffin brothers remained friends their entire lives. As young men
they were usually teammates and traveled to athletic contests together.
Neither man ever owned an automobile, but the City of Buffalo was tra-
versed by inexpensive public transportation. Thirteen streetcar lines and
connecting bus routes made playing fields and entertainment centers
readily accessible. For a dime, and using free ‘transfers’, one could ride all
over the city. The South Park trolley went right by the Griffin front door
and made going to Cazenovia Park to play baseball, or to downtown to
catch a movie, or even attending a boxing match at the Broadway Audito-
rium, a small inconvenience.
Boxing,”the manly art of self defense”, was a major sport in Buffalo
during the 1920’s In particular the Griffins liked to follow the career of
Rocky Kansas, a boxer born and raised in Buffalo, who eventually became
World Lightweight Champion. Kansas, was a short, powerful, scrappy
battler with a solid build, who was knocked out only twice, in a career of
165 bouts. Jimmy and Tommy Griffin were in attendance at the Broad-
way Auditorium in 1925, when Kansas defeated Jimmy Goodrich to
become Lightweight Champion. They also held tickets to watch World
Heavyweight Champion Jack Dempsey, fight a four round exhibition
bout in Bison Stadium in July 1922.
But the sports idol of the 1920’s, for the Griffins, and for the entire
First Ward, was Jimmy (Slats) Slattery. ‘Slats’, born in the First Ward, was
a long, rangy, handsome kid, who wore green trucks whenever he fought.
In his hey-dey, he was like the hero of some Irish fable, a black haired,
dancing, will-o’-the wisp Irish imp, who out-boxed, out-guessed, and out-
fought the best fighters in the world.. Gentleman Jim Corbett, former
Champion, who had defeated the Great John L Sullivan for the heavy-
weight crown, attended every Slattery bout. Gene Tunny, who had
defeated Jack Dempsey to become heavyweight Champion, named ‘Slats”
as the greatest boxer of that time. A highlight in the Griffin boys life was
being part of the packed house at Broadway Auditorium, when in 1930,
Slattery won a grueling 15-round decision over Lou Scozza, to regain the
Light Heavyweight title that he had lost two years before.
Their younger sister, Catherine, knew a different Jimmy Slattery. Once
she had completed her education at St Mary’s Business School, she quickly
obtained full-time employment as a stenographer/typist at Beals, McCar-
thy and Rogers, where her brother Tommy was employed as a sales clerk.
She had developed a fast friendship with two girls, both First Ward resi-
dents, and both schoolmates of Catherine at St. Mary’s. Jean Devine, one
year older than Catherine, lived with her family in the corner house at
Tennessee and O’Connell Streets. Marion McGilligott, short and a little
plump, was two years younger than Catherine, and played the part of tag-
along to the two older, and more attractive girls. Marian lived on Alabama
Street, between Elk Street and Mackinaw Street, just around the corner
from the Masque Theater. The three girls would meet each weekend to
attend movies at the’ Masque’. By the end of the 1920’s talking pictures
had replaced ‘the silents’ on America’s movie screens and with talking pic-
tures came a whole new cast of movie celebrities. Robert Taylor, Frederick
March, Robert Preston and Robert Montgomery had replaced the earlier
‘heartthrobs’, Rudolph Valentino, John Barrymore and Douglas Fairbanks
Sr. The girls had a whole new set of role models. Greta Garbo, Joan Craw-
ford and Jean Harlow dominated the screens and the tabloids. Bobbed
hair, short skirts and the ‘flapper’ lifestyle had become the rage. Catherine
Griffin, who in her late teens had grown into a beautiful and curvaceous
young lady, was so taken by the appearance, charms and allure of a beauti-
ful and carefree young movie actress, Kay Francis, that she insisted that she
be called ‘Kay’, and she was known as ‘Kay’ for the rest of her life.
The three ‘Ward’ girls continued to travel together and often attended
social events, in the First Ward and in South Buffalo, as a ‘threesome’. Kay
explained that “plain looking, or unattractive girls, liked to travel with
good looking girls because the ‘good lookers’ always attracted handsome
young men”. She then would add that she traveled with girls less attractive
than herself because she “didn’t want any competition” in the dating ritu-
als of the day.
The Volstead Act (Prohibition) had been enacted in 1919, when Kay
was fourteen years old. Since all sales of alcoholic beverages were illegal,
the stigma against underage age drinking didn’t exist,—it was illegal for
anyone to drink! Saloons were closed, and while there were speakeasys in
every neighborhood, the most congenial social gatherings were held in pri-
vate homes. It was at these social gatherings that Buffalo girls got to meet,
and to know, the “light heavyweight champion of the world”, Jimmy
(Slats) Slattery.
For it seemed that at every party, at all times of the day or night, there
was ‘Slats”, surrounded by girls and booze, playing his harmonica and
bemoaning that he would give up the fight game in a minute if he could
only learn to “play the piano” for his living. He was every man’s
friend,—fun loving and generous to a fault. He was also every girl’s dream
date,—and at times it seemed as if he intended to squire each of the
‘Ward’s’ loveliest young ladies, for at least an hour.
Kay’s hour had not yet come, but she knew that it would. Increasingly,
she and ‘Slats’ were making eye contact and several times recently he had
seemed on the verge of asking Kay to dance. The very thought of an idyll
with such a heroic figure was both erotically arousing and frightening, for
Kay loved to party, and to dance, but she had never developed a taste for,
nor a tolerance of alcoholic beverages. She had heard stories of the calami-
tous effects of ‘bathtub gin’ and other ‘bootleg hooch’,—blindness, syphi-
lis and infertility. Besides, her friend Marion ‘drank like a fish’ and Kay
was convinced that was the reason that she was ‘fat’. To Kay, plumpness
was the worst scourge that could befall a maiden.
It was also obvious that even moderate imbibing could result in a girl
lowering her resistance to sinful behavior. On several occasions Kay had
witnessed her other good friend Jean, in a warm and relaxed mood after a
few drinks, leave a party with a new, male acquaintance, not to be seen
again until the next day. All of her life Kay had heard ‘Ma’ Griffin warn
against the’wages of sin’, and she knew that there was a special place in hell
reserved for adulteresses. Frankly, Kay didn’t know a thing about debauch-
ery, or even how to commit adultery, and she had no intention of letting a
few drops of booze cause her to do anything that would result in eternal
damnation, or worse yet, cause the neighbors to talk about her.
It was a cold, blustery and snowy March evening when Kay and her two
friends stood huddled against the wind at the corner of Hamburg and Elk
Street, waiting for a trolley that was to take them to a house party on
McKinley Parkway. Kay was in a foul mood. They were going to have to
get off the trolley at St. Theresa’s Church on South Park Ave., then walk
two long blocks up Olcott Ave, in this rotten weather, to reach the ‘party
house’. And Kay knew that Jimmy Slattery wouldn’t be at this party. Her
brothers had watched ‘Slats’ win a warm up bout against Len Darcy in the
Broadway Auditorium on the previous night, and Kay had read where
Slattery was scheduled to fight Jim Braddock in Madison Square Garden
in New York City in less than two weeks. Certainly, Slattery would be in a
strict training regimen before this important bout. Kay had wanted to go
downtown to see the latest Kay Francis picture, “The Marriage Play-
ground”, which was playing at the Shea’s Hippodrome Theater, but Jean
had insisted that this party could be ‘fun’. Marion, of course, had gone
along with Jean, as long as there was a chance of getting some free drinks.
Kay grew even more morose once the trio had boarded the trolley and it
became apparent that Marion already had been drinking. Answering Kay’s
glower, Marion giggled as she explained, “I found a bottle of Dago Red
wine that my mother had stashed. I only had two glasses of it.” It was a
chilled and chilly trio that eventually ascended the snow ladened steps of
the imposing red brick mansion on McKinley Parkway, where a party was
evidently well under way.
Kay had no more than doffed her coat when she heard a familiar voice
shout, “Kay! I’ve been wondering where you were! Come and give me a
kiss!” It was Jimmy Slattery, disheveled, unwashed and unshaven, stum-
bling toward her, arms splayed, with a drink in each hand.
Kay recoiled intuitively. “Keep away from me, you dirty drunk! You
smell like a saloon!” she blurted.
‘Slats’ feigned slipping an opponent’s punch, but as he brought his
hands into their defensive position, ice flew from his drinks. Instinctively,
he tried to catch the errant cubes, lurching as if to fall in the process.
Marion McGilligott was at ‘Slat’s” side in a flash, steadying him against

a fall. She cradled him and led him to a bar stool, as a second would assist
a defeated boxer back to his corner.
Kay was mortified. “I’m going home!”, she said as she spun on her heel
and headed for the large oaken, front door. “Kay, don’t forget your coat!”,
Jean shouted as she followed her friend into the wintery night air, waving
the faux fur that Kay prized so dearly.
The ride home on the IRC #16 streetcar was spent in absolute silence.
Kay had been debased by Slattery’s boorish behavior, but she felt humili-
ated by the fact that Marion’s slatternly action had prevented ‘Slats’ from
apologizing to her and probably had disrupted whatever chance there had
been for a romantic tryst with this ‘dream date’. Kay would never be able
to forget or forgive Marion’s wantonness.
Kay remained at home, alone, for the balance of the weekend and then
reported for work at Beals on Monday morning. That evening Jean, visibly
distraught, appeared at the side entrance of the Griffin cottage. Kay was
surprised by the visit because the girls rarely visited each other’s home.
Jean reported that she had gone over to Marion’s home to check on their
friend and that Mrs. McGilligott said that she hadn’t seen Marion since
she had left the house early Friday evening, and she had presumed that
Marion had spent the weekend with Jean, or with Kay. Without admitting
Jean into the kitchen, Kay advised her that Marion was certainly in no
danger and would probably show up at her mother’s house later that same
evening. Kay was incapable of expressing concern for Marion’s well being,
because she was genuinely indifferent to whatever befell her former friend.
On Thursday of that week, the salesmen at Beals were abuzz with the
news that Slattery had been arrested in Elkart, Indiana and charged with
vagrancy. Kay remained mum, but she knew, deep in her heart, that ‘Slats’
was so shaken by their Friday night confrontation that he had ‘gone off on
a binge’ and probably didn’t remember his upcoming fight, or anything
else. She was also quietly certain that nothing bad would have happened if
Marion had just ‘kept her nose out of other people’s affairs’. The following
week, when Jean reported that Mrs McGilligott had told her that Marion
had “entered a convent”, Kay’s only response was, “Well, they’d better
lock up the sacramental wine”.
Several years later, Jimmy Griffin heard a different version of the story
while participating in a handball tournament at the Knights of Columbus,
on Delaware Avenue. He sat quietly as men in the locker room were swap-
ping stories of Slattery’s late night carousing and liquor soaked misadven-
tures. The tales had become commonplace, and more pronounced and
lurid, as ‘Slats’ boxing skills faded and he suffered multiple losses to Maxie
Rosenbloom, King Levinsky, and Charley Belanger. ‘Slats’ had easily
defeated each of these boxers when he was younger, and in better condi-
tion. Even Griffin had to agree that when he saw ‘Slats’ regain the light
heavyweight title from Lou Scozza, the Irishman had been lucky to survive
a savage assault during the final four rounds, and had been ‘saved by the
bell’ at the end of the 13th round.
Ray Meegan, a tough Buffalo police detective, held the floor as he
offered his opinion that Slattery’s decline had begun with his defeat at the
hands of Jim Braddock, in March 1929. Meegan told how Buffalo Mayor
Frank Schwab had received a phone call from the police chief in Elkhart
Ind., only one week before the Braddock fight. The police chief told the
Mayor that his men had arrested a Buffalo man, and his girlfriend, after a
drunken barroom brawl. When the arresting officers discovered that the
couple had come across state lines to Elkhart from Buffalo, and were
unmarried, they were prepared to charge the pair with violating the Mann
Act. While sobering up, Slattery had loudly proclaimed that he was “the
former light heavyweight champion of the world”, and the police chief
thought he’d better call the Buffalo Mayor to see how to proceed. Schwab
had asked the chief to simply charge Slattery with vagrancy, and he assured
the chief that Red Carr, ‘Slats’ manager, would come to Elkhart, pay any
imposed fines, and would express his deep gratitude in other ways.
Grinning broadly, Meegan then related that the police chief had then
asked, “How about the girl friend?”. The astonished Mayor could only
respond, “Don’t charge her with anything yet. Let me talk to her family
and I’ll get back to you later”. Meegan laughed as he said, “And that’s how
I got an expense free trip to Elkhart, Indiana!” The detective told how he
had visited the girl’s mother at her modest Alabama Street cottage. She was
shocked and dismayed that the Mayor of the City was aware of her daugh-
ter’s wanton behavior, and had readily signed a release, allowing her
daughter to be institutionalized at “The Home of the Good Shepherd”, a
home for ‘wayward girls’, for an indeterminate term.
The mood in the locker room grew somber as Meegan told of arriving
at the gates of the ten foot yellow brick wall on Best Street, with the short,
slightly plump, and thoroughly frightened young girl in tow. He said that
they were met by three unsmiling nuns, two of whom led the quaking girl
away, while the third examined the admission document. Meegan wasn’t
sure what order these nuns belonged to, but he was fairly sure that it was
the same order that ran the nearby German Roman Catholic Orphanage.
When the sister had ascertained that the documents were in proper order,
she asked if the Buffalo detective would like to tour the facility. Meegan
presumed that the nun had mistaken him for a corrections facility official
and was extending the invitation as a professional courtesy, but his curios-
ity had been peaked, and he accepted her offer.
The first thing that he noticed was that barbed wire guarded the top
portion of ten foot high wall which encased the property. His next surprise
was the size and the scope of the facility, which covered the entire city
block. There were three, four story buildings, which were obviously resi-
dences or dormitories. Meegan wasn’t permitted to enter any of the build-
ings. His guide simply stated “This is where the girls sleep!”Another U
shaped building, three stories high, was obviously the convent, administra-
tion offices, and chapel. The detectives trained eyes made him aware that
wherever he went, even though he was being escorted, he was being
watched by at least one other set of eyes. He observed nuns peering from
behind drapes, or standing in a window or doorway in full view, or putter-
ing in a garden area, with their eyes fixed on him, mutely monitoring his
every action.
In the center of the property was a low slung building, girded with open
factory windows, belching steam and humidity. Meegan was allowed
inside this building, for his guide obviously considered this to be the gem-
stone of the institution.”This is the Laundry!” she exclaimed and she then
proceeded to give the city detective a lesson in institutional economics. All

of the laundry from the Buffalo Catholic Diocese,(ie) altar linens, bed-
clothes from convents and orphanages and hospitals, towels and table
cloths, and even underwear of the clergy were brought to the Home of the
Good Shepherd every day, where they were bleached, cleaned and laun-
dered and returned within twenty four hours. The Diocese paid an annual
fee to the nuns for this service and individual Catholic parishes, and some
churches of other denominations, paid a monthly stipend to the institu-
tion. The nun smiled quietly when she said, “We’re getting some business
from neighborhood dry cleaners too, but we charge them considerably
more!”
Working at large vats, or at press boards, and at folding tables, were
dozens of women. Some were apparently very young girls, but there
seemed to be a wide range in the ages of the women employed in laundry
work. Meegan even saw some women that he judged to be his age engaged
in the monotonous toil. The workers had several things in common. No
one seemed to smile and there was no conversation between workers. Each
woman was without makeup, wore a gray sack cloth uniform and work
shoes and was stockingless. The nun announced that almost one hundred
women were currently living at the home and working at the laundry.
When Meegan asked about wages or compensation for the women’s
labor, he was abruptly reminded that this was a penal institution and that
the girls should be grateful that they had productive work to do each day,
rather than be confined in a cell. When the city cop asked how long a
women, or girl could be confined at the home, the nun explained that
since confinement had been initiated with and by the consent of a legal
guardian, release from the Home of the Good Shepherd, could only take
place upon petition from a guardian, or from an inmate’s family member.
Meegan blurted, “My God! A girl could spend her whole life in this place!”
The nun simply shrugged, and said nothing more.
Griffin noticed that as Meegan was completing this tale, tears were well-
ing up in the detective’s eyes. “Ray, do you know the name of the girl that
you brought to that terrible place?” Jim asked quietly. “No, I don’t. It’s
been a long time now and I’ve never been back there, and I don’t want to
go back again.” Meegan responded as he left the hushed locker room.

Jimmy Griffin didn’t need to be told the girl’s name, for he had guessed
that she was Marion McGilligott, his sister’s friend. He pondered whether
he should tell Kay what he had learned, but then decided that since Kay
hadn’t mentioned the girl’s name in ages, and since nothing could be done
now to help the kid, he’d be better off remaining silent about the whole
episode.
2
The Man of Her Dreams
Kay’s interest in house parties and other South Buffalo social gatherings
began to wane. She found that she’d tired of the same ‘old crowd’, the
same old jokes, the same old banal conversations about ‘who did what to
who’ and the almost incestuous infatuations between people who had
known each other all of their lives. Besides, even though no one ever said
anything, Kay realized that a coolness toward her had developed ever since
she had rejected Jimmy Slattery’s advances, on that March evening before
Slattery’s loss to Jim Braddock in Madison Square Garden. She sensed that
the young men of South Buffalo blamed her ‘haughty attitude’ toward
‘Slats’ for his obvious disinterest in training, and spotty performances in
the ring, since their confrontation.
As for the South Buffalo ‘girls’, Kay had absolutely no doubts but that
each and every girl was jealous of the fact that Kay had been the only one
who had ever resisted and rejected the charms of Buffalo’s leading celebrity
and the most handsome man that Buffalo’s Old First Ward had ever pro-
duced.
At home things weren’t much improved. Once all of the Griffins found
full-time employment there was no longer any need for boarders. The
‘children’ had reclaimed the cottage’s bedrooms, yet Kay and Agnes still
shared a double bed. But after Tommy, the second son, had married
Helen Quigley, and had moved into his own digs, just down the street,
there was barely enough wages to provide more than a bare living for ‘Ma’
Griffin and her brood. With Jimmy Griffin being the only man in the
house, and having been promoted to a clerical position at General Mills
downtown office, his posture and attitude became more autocratic with
each passing day. Agnes and Kay had never gotten along with each other.
21
Agnes had been born with a cleft palate and now that the ‘young ladies’
were entering Buffalo’s social whirl, Kay felt that Agnes’ discomfort over
the nasal twang in her voice and facial disfigurement was increased by
Kay’s growing comeliness. Kay preferred not to attend social functions
where her sister was present because she was sure that Ag’s resentment
toward her would be noticed by everyone in attendance and would proba-
bly spoil everyone’s fun.
During Kay’s teenage years, the basic summertime enjoyment was pro-
vided by attendance at either of two amusement parks, both located just
outside of Fort Erie, Ont. Erie Beach or Crystal Beach were readily accessi-
ble by ferries, which regularly sailed from the foot of Main Street, in
downtown Buffalo. Erie Beach was serviced by four small ferries, the
“Chicora”, the “Frontier”, the Ossian Bedell”, and the “United Shores”. In
addition to the usual complement of amusement park rides on it’s Midway
and a large picnic area and casino restaurant, Erie Beach featured “the
world’s largest swimming pool”, which augmented it’s lake swimming area
where the beach was substantially inferior to the one at Crystal Beach.
Transportation to Crystal Beach from Buffalo, was provided by two
larger ferries, “Canadiana” and “Americana”, both of which left from the
foot of Main Street and both of which provided dancing on their upper
deck, during the forty minute sail to the amusement park. Crystal Beach
not only featured one of Lake Erie’s finest sand beaches, it had a Midway
that rivaled the world’s best, and which was constantly being added to and
improved.
The first sighting of Crystal Beach from the ‘Canadiana’, once it had
rounded Point Abino, was the giant ferris wheel, with it’s swinging seats
rising and descending from heights far above the line of trees and roof
tops. Upon docking, and passing through the gates of Canadian Customs,
passengers were greeted by the appearance of a miniature railroad, consist-
ing of an engine (and whistle), caboose and six open passenger cars. For a
nickle fare, adults and children could traverse the wooded backland of the
amusement park on a five minute ride that featured a lot of whistle blow-
ing and quiet enjoyment. The entire ride had initially been featured at the
Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo and later been moved to the Cana-
The Man of Her Dreams 23
dian amusement park. Kay was always aglow at the thought that she might
be sitting in the same train seats that had once held her parents when they
were young, and before she had been born.
Miniature cars, which gave the appearance of being driven and directed
by youngsters, but which were magnetically drawn along a bumpered
pathway, abutted the miniature railroad, and gave the more daring tots a
sense of participation, risk taking and accomplishment. The third passive
ride heading the Midway was a beautiful carousel, with life-size horses,
some of which were stationary, and some of which effortlessly moved up
and down their poles to the accompaniment of hurdy-gurdy music, simu-
lating a gallop and graceful forward movement,
All sense of serenity quickly faded as the frolicsome crowds moved
down the Midway, for there began an extravaganza of ‘thrill’ or adventure
rides. The “Giant” roller coaster had been constructed in 1916 and it
seemed that there had been a line of eager passengers waiting to board ever
since! ‘Dodgems’ (bumper cars), ‘HeyDey’, ‘Whip’, and ‘Octopus’ were
rides that offered the more adventurous with a shaking good scare, but
with no real danger to health or safety. Kay, who was usually accompanied
by Jean Devine, preferred those rides offering a more subdued excitement.
‘Old Mill’(dark water ride), ‘Laff in the Dark’(propelled carriage through a
simulated ‘haunted house’ scenario, ‘Caterpillar’ (speed ride with canopy
hiding the riders from public view) allowed Kay to be frightened, shocked,
surprised or giddily excited, without giving evidence that she was either
naive or uncultured. Kay refused to put herself into a position where she
might be laughed at, or thought to be unsophisticated. This was the prin-
cipal reason that Kay had always preferred going to Crystal Beach. Kay’s
aversion to Erie Beach’s large swimming pool could be traced to her fear of
deep water and the fact that she hated to tell people that she didn’t know
how to swim. The sandy beach at Crystal afforded the opportunity for
inexpensive sun bathing and social gathering without the hazard of drown-
ing or being embarrassed by having to explain that she lacked any of the
social graces or talents.
Since Crystal Beach was owned by a confectioner, George Hall, it’s
Midway was dotted with stands selling caramel corn, waffles, cotton
candy, taffy and suckers, along with the more traditional park foods, hot-
dogs. hamburgers, and a Crystal Beach speciality, loganberry juice. At the
far end of the Midway, the carnival booths (baseball throw, ring toss, fish-
ing pond, weight guessing) were located and there,—you always ‘almost
won’ a giant stuffed animal as a prize!
When Kay began visiting Crystal Beach, and until the year 1927, the
Province of Ontario prohibited the sale and/or consumption of alcoholic
beverages anywhere within the Province.. And at no time in it’s history,
was the sale or consumption of alcoholic beverages permitted on the
grounds of the Crystal Beach Amusement Park. With it’s large, clean pic-
nic area, Crystal Beach was an ideal place for teenagers, couples, and fami-
lies to inexpensively spend a summer’s day in a wholesome environment.
As a teenager, Kay’s opportunities to visit Crystal Beach were extremely
limited. First of all, she didn’t have a great deal of money to spend on friv-
olous pursuits, and the fare on the Canadiana, plus the beach fee and only
a few amusement rides, would exhaust Kay’s spending money for a month.
Also, the Province of Ontario had strict ‘blue laws’ which didn’t allow
amusement parks, or much else, to operate within the Province on Sun-
days and Kay worked the other six days of the week! So Kay could only
afford to visit Crystal Beach once or twice each summer season, until the
summer of 1925.
Then, Kay and Jean visited the amusement park on the Fourth of July
to celebrate Kay’s twentieth birthday and to visit the newly constructed
“Quarter Million Dollar” Crystal Ballroom. Kay couldn’t believe her eyes!
This was the largest unobstructed dance floor in North America! It could
hold up to 3000 dancers at one time! On the lake side of the structure,
large segmented-glass doors opened right up from the dance floor to the
outside so that fresh lake breezes would cool the ballroom on hot summer
nights. Outside the doors was a promenade, with benches, where weary
dancers could take a break and cool off. At each end of the building was a
balcony so non-dancers could survey the scene below or just listen to the
band. And two bands were scheduled to play each night, one Canadian
and one American!
Here was something that Kay could handle without the threat of morti-
fication. She knew that she could “dance with the best of them”! Immedi-
ately, the very thought of attending ‘a house party on McKinley Parkway’
seemed so drab and unappealing! Kay and Jean immediately planned their
social calendar for the balance of the Summer’25, and for many of the
summers to follow. On Saturdays Kay worked at Beals until 5:30 PM.
Since Beals was located only two short blocks from the dock of both the
‘Canadiana’ and the ‘Americana’ ferries, Kay could meet Jean each Satur-
day after work, and they could catch the 6PM ferry to Crystal Beach where
they could ‘dance the night away’, until the final boat brought them home.
The very next day, Kay had her hair “bobbed” in the latest flapper style,
and began updating her wardrobe.
The two girls maintained this summer schedule for as long as they were
single. And Crystal Beach continued to grow, improve, and prosper, with
1927 being a most significant year. First, construction of “The
Cyclone”(World’s biggest roller coaster) and a new “Fun House” was com-
pleted. Kay couldn’t have cared less, for she never rode on either ride. But
that same year, the Province of Ontario lifted it’s prohibition against the
sale and consumption of alcoholic beverages, and the Peace Bridge, linking
Buffalo to Fort Erie Ontario, was opened. Kay would never develop a taste
for liquor, or beer, but the opening of both the bridge and Ontario pubs
brought a host of new customers to Crystal Beach. Young men from all
over Western New York, with automobiles and a thirst for a “legal beer’,
flooded into the area, looking for a ‘good time’. In 1928, the ferry “Amer-
icana”was taken out of service as the automobile came to be the preferred
means of entering Canada.. In 1930, Erie Beach closed, leaving Crystal
Beach as Buffalo’s “Million Dollar Playground”. And Crystal’s new pros-
perity brought ‘big name’ entertainers to it’s ballroom. Kay danced to the
‘live’ music of Artie Shaw, the Dorsey Brothers, Gene Krupa, Glenn
Miller and Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians.
At first, Kay found the sea of new faces and strange accents and idioms
to be exotic and exciting. She had never before met, much less associated
with, any large number of men who were not of Irish heritage. At work,
there were a few young, unmarried salesmen or clerks but chances for
social contact were mostly limited to the annual company Christmas

party. But in the Crystal Ballroom Kay was meeting, and sometimes danc-
ing with, Italian men from the Nativity parish on Buffalo’s West Side,
Germans from St Boniface parish, and once, even a nice Polack from St
Stanislaus parish. Not that Kay was looking for any long-term romantic
attachments with any of them. She knew that when the time came, her
marriage partner would be Irish. She had heard of the difficulties girls had
when they married other nationalities. She remembered the talk when
Betty Corrigan, from Hamburg Street, had married an “eyetalian”. “Sure,
she was pretty enough, I thought sure that she could have gotten a ‘white
man’.” was the common refrain from neighbors, friends and fellow St
Bridget parishioners. And it was common knowledge in the First Ward,
that German husbands were “tight with their money”, that Italian men all
had mistresses and that the Poles were ‘funny looking’ and dumb.
But after a short while the initial excitement of meeting new people
faded as an uneasy sense of disorientation appeared. No longer did Kay
have the old standards of measuring people to guide her. One evening at
the Crystal Ballroom, she met George Weichman, a young, handsome and
charming salesman, who worked with Kay at Beals,. They danced, and
laughed and had a grand time for much of the evening, until Jean Devine
quietly mentioned to Kay that she thought that Weichman was a ‘Jewish’
name. Kay was perplexed. She didn’t think that Jean was right for she
thought that she had remembered that Weichman had attended the
Christmas Party at work the previous December. But how could one be
sure? And what would happen if Jean started spreading the word that Kay
‘was hanging out with Jews’? If you met a nice young man and he told you
that he lived on Peach Street, in Buffalo’s Fruitbelt neighborhood, who
knew if that was a ‘good’ neighborhood or not? If a handsome and dashing
(great) dancer told you that he lived on Russell Avenue, in North Buffalo,
how could you judge him if no one knew his uncles, or other relatives, and
where they worked, and if they were churchgoers, or not. The commonal-
ity of First Ward residents had offered Kay protection from misrepresenta-
tions and other deceits. She seemed to be socially adrift without the
familiar standards for judging people that had always served her so well
since she was a young girl. And so, Kay Griffin smiled a lot, volunteered
little information about her self, laughed at all jokes and didn’t believe a
word that anyone said, —although she always pretended to.
While the Crystal Beach Ballroom provided a haven and respite from
“worldly cares” during the summer months, there was no comparable
solace available during Buffalo’s long, harsh winters.
There was dancing at the Dellwood Ballroom, but it was a long street-
car ride out to Main and Utica Streets and back, particularly on a snowy,
blustery evening. The Terrace, a small dancehall, situated just slightly west
of the new City Hall in downtown Buffalo, was more convenient, but
frankly neither Kay nor her friend Jean were comfortable among the
crowds of strangers in either dancing establishment.
On most Sundays, Kay and Jean would attend Mass at St Bridgets and
then ride the trolley into downtown Buffalo. Often they would stop at
Schraft’s Restaurant on Main Street, near the Shea’s Great Lakes Theater,
for an omelet or maybe just tea and a biscuit, before attending a movie
matinee. Occasionally, in hospitable weather, the girls would leave earlier
in the day, ride the street car out to Main and Edward Streets, where they
would disembark, and hear Mass at St Louis Church. Following the
church service, they would leisurely stroll southward on Main Street until
they reached the Vernors Ginger Ale Soda Shop. While sipping their choc-
olate flavored ginger ale floats they had ample time to decide which cin-
ema they would attend that day. All downtown movie palaces had the
same ticket policy on Sundays,—adult admission was twenty cents, if you
entered the theater before 2:15 PM. Several of the Shea’s Theaters offered
both a main feature and a stage show, usually a big name dance band, at
Sunday matinees. For Kay, the balance of her Sunday schedule never var-
ied. Following the movie she would return to her home on Elk Street, have
Sunday dinner, which was usually chicken, at 5:30, then help with clear-
ing and cleaning the dinner dishes. The balance of Sunday evening was
spent listening to the radio, Jack Benny at 7PM, Amos and Andy at
7:30PM, Edgar Bergen & Charley McCarthy at 8PM, Inner Sanctum
Mystery (with the creaking door introduction) at 8:30PM, until bedtime.
On Monday morning, Kay began another six day, forty-eight hour work
week.
At first, the Griffins had barely noticed the Great Depression. They
owned no stocks so that the crash of the stock market in 1929 had no
immediate effect on the family’s finances. Jimmy Griffin retained his cleri-
cal position at General Mills, and neither Kay nor Rocko suffered any lay-
offs at Beals, McCarthy & Rogers, although all three Griffins had been
forced to take wage reductions. Only Agnes, the youngest daughter, and
the most proficient worker in the family, had trouble finding, and keeping
any type of gainful employment. Kay’s friend, Jean Devine had been laid
off from her clerical position at the Pierce Arrow plant on Elmwood Ave,
when the auto maker had been acquired by the Studebaker Company, and
hadn’t been able to find any other job. So, money was ‘tight’ and there
were fewer trips to the movies, or to restaurants than before.
Kay viewed the year 1931 with foreboding. Jean probably wouldn’t be
able to accompany her to Crystal Beach during the summer months if Jean
didn’t get another job. Her brother ‘Rocko’ and his wife had already pro-
duced two children, and ‘that Helen’ (as “Ma” invariably referred to her
daughter-in-law) increasingly was using “Ma’s” home as a nursery, as she
(Helen) went ‘gallivanting around’. Agnes was complaining about having
to constantly babysit her troublesome nephews,(Tommy, the older of the
two, had the habit of banging his head on the sidewalk in order to get
what he wanted, and the baby, Jimmy, wouldn’t do anything that he was
asked to do) and Ag kept asking when Kay was going to start sharing
responsibility for this irksome task. “Ma” was increasingly grumbling that
there wasn’t enough money coming in to keep the Griffin household
going And no one, including Kay herself, had any confidence that her
employment at Beals would be continued during the entire year, much less
that anyone’s job prospects or financial picture would be improved.
Jean was persuaded to accompany Kay to the Memorial Day 1931
Opening celebration at Crystal Beach. While riding on the Canadiana’s
upper deck, on the way to the beach, Kay couldn’t help but notice a trio
that seemed to be drawing a lot of attention to themselves. One was a tall
willowy blonde, who seemed to be engagingly amused by the antics of one
of the men accompanying her. Her two male companions were both tall,
dark haired and handsome. The larger of the two men, with broad shoul-
ders and a deep tan, resembled a Native-American Indian.
He had a hearty laugh and a broad grin and it seemed like he knew
everyone on the boat. He greeted each man with an enveloping handshake
and a clap on the back. Each girl was given an embrace and a lustful kiss,
after which her escort would receive a lecherous wink and a playful jab on
the shoulder, to demonstrate that everything was meant in fun. The sec-
ond man, with a lean, lithe body, seemed quietly amused as he watched
these antics. It seemed to Kay that this group was spoiling for trouble and
she suggested to Jean that they find seats on the lower deck just in case
things got out of hand.
Once off the boat, the two girls immediately headed for the beach area.
Even though the Lake Erie water was cold, and the air cool, they remained
on the sand all during the afternoon, soaking up the Spring sun rays and
devouring the ham sandwiches that “Ma” Griffin had provided for the
both of them. At sundown, the girls slipped into their party dresses,(Kay
had purchased a “silk flat crepe skirt and chemise of the latest flapper style”
from the Sears catalog for $8.98 especially for this event), purchased some
loganberry juice and caramel corn, took one spin on the miniature rail-
road, and headed for the Crystal Ballroom.
Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians was the featured band at this
opening gala and the Ballroom was filling, even at this early hour. Kay and
Jean went up to the balcony area where they could survey the scene,
appraise the evenings prospects, and hear the music, without being con-
spicuous. Leaning over the railing, Kay spotted the pair that she had seen
earlier on the Canadiana,—the tall blonde and her rowdy companion,
seated on a bench, engaged in animated conversation. She was scanning
the faces of the dancers on the floor, hoping to glimpse the tall, quiet
member of the group, when she heard a voice quietly ask,”Would you care
to dance?”. She turned and gasped as she was engulfed by two dark flash-
ing eyes that moved over her face, searched for her soul and caressed her
spirit. The man that she had awaited all of her life smiled hesitantly as he
reached for her hand. “I’d love to”, she said as she took his hand in hers.
When they reached the dance floor, the young man said, “I’m Tom
Murphy.” Kay stammered, “I’m Kay Griffin.” and he responded, “I’m
pleased to meet you, Kay Griffin” as he whirled her among the other danc-
ing couples. He was a terrific dancer, and they completed three dances
before they exchanged another word. Then he abruptly said, “I want you
to meet my brother!”.
Kay winced. She didn’t want to have to cope with that hooligan,—and
she didn’t think that she could! This was going to spoil everything! As she
and Tom Murphy neared the bench where the private conversation was
continuing, Kay noted that the blonde girl, who was really quite attractive,
kept viewing her escort with a skeptical sidelong glance as he gestured and
grimaced while pleading his case.
Tom said simply, “Jim, I’d like you to meet Kay Griffin. Kay, this is my
big brother Jim”. There was no hug or wet kiss! Jim rose, enveloped Kay’s
hand in his giant paws, smiled the warmest smile Kay had even seen, and
said, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Kay. My little brother has done
nothing but talk about you, ever since he saw you on the boat earlier
today! I’d like you to meet my fiancee, Beatrice Meyers”. The blonde
smiled broadly and said, “Murphy, you really know how to pick ’em. She’s
beautiful! Kay, please call me ‘Bee’. All my friends do.” From that moment
on, the trio had become a quartet, consisting of two couples, all of them
friends.
For the balance of the evening there was laughter, and dancing, but
mostly there was conversation. Kay didn’t have to say a word. In turned
out that while Tom appeared at first to be the quiet one, he was quite the
raconteur, with a wry wit and the ability to put a humorous face on even
the most delicate and serious situations. Bee possessed a superb sense of
timing, and would deliver sardonic quips to puncture serious discussions,
or to punctuate comic deliveries. Jim enjoyed the very presence of his girl,
his brother and his brother’s girl friend, and he expressed his delight with
raucous laughter at almost everything that was said.
The brothers regaled each other with their recollections of boyhood
pranks and escapades while growing up on a farm in Sault Ste Marie,
Michigan. They told how, when they were teenagers, their mother had
assisted them in ‘running away from home’, to escape the tyrannical rant-
ing of their father, —“a mean old sonofabitch”. They recounted the
adventure of hitchhiking to the Mackinaw Strait, sneaking on board the
ferryboat, and then ‘riding the rails’ and hoboing until they reached Buf-
falo.
Kay was aghast and exhilarated! This was a world and a life that she had
known nothing about. These young Irish giants, their emotions unshack-
led from the teaching of nuns, were describing growing up on a farm. Kay
had never even seen a farm! She didn’t even know where Sault Ste Marie,
Michigan or the Mackinaw Straits were located on a map! These guys
weren’t bragging about hitting a home run at Lanigan Playground when
they were twelve, they had played ‘hockey’, which as they described it,
seemed more like a street fight than a game. In the days when she and her
friends were being threatened with being ‘sent to Father Baker’s’ if they
misbehaved, these kids were sleeping in boxcars. Kay kept laughing and
smiling but she didn’t utter a sound, for she couldn’t catch her breath and
besides, she didn’t want to interrupt or interfere with the telling of these
wonderful tales.
As the evening wore on the tone of the conversation grew a bit more
serious. When the boys arrived in Buffalo they had no money, nor place to
stay. Tom reported that the first work that they were able to get was as
‘day labor’,—gandy dancers at the Erie-Lackawanna railyards, back break-
ing work. They slept in a flop-house on Ridge Road for 20 cents per night.
Then Jim obtained steady work as a laborer with Stimm Construction
Company, doing work on the Our Lady of Victory Basilica, and the
brothers were able to get decent lodgings on Homestead Street in South
Buffalo. When Jim Murphy heard that Stimm Construction was going to
be doing some work on the new Peace Bridge he contacted Howard
Stimm and told him that the Murphy Brothers could supply all the day
laborers that Stimm needed, whenever and wherever they were needed.
The contractor smiled indulgently and said, “That’s fine with me,—I’ll let
you know when I need someone!” Tom Murphy visited the employment
offices of a few local railroads, made them the same promise, and before
you knew it, Tom and Jim Murphy were in business for themselves. All
that the two Michigan farm boys had to do was assemble a workforce,
many of who didn’t speak much English, convince them to take on diffi-
cult, and sometimes dangerous work, in hostile weather, at very low wages
and then negotiate labor contracts with belligerent, tough construction
bosses. As Tom described it, often the toughest part of their job was col-
lecting the employment agent’s fee from employers who were hesitant
about spending any money at all for temporary help.
Kay was swept by an ecstatic rush as she heard tales of scuffles and
brawls that the Murphys seemed to have engaged in on a daily basis. She
felt an erotic sense of trepidation as she came to realize that her first
impression had been correct,—Jim Murphy’s jovial disposition could
darken into a rage almost instantly. He was quick to use his fists to resolve
any dispute. Tom, on the other hand, preferred to use his quick wit to
cajole his way out of almost any difficult situation. However, both men
emphasized in their storytelling that no one ever fought just one Murphy
brother.
Jim reported that they had enjoyed a few really good years, before the
Depression hit. Then Stimm Construction Co, and almost every other
employer in Buffalo, found that when they needed a few day-laborers, or
other temporary help, they only had to look outside their gates, on any
morning, to find hundreds of able-bodied men, anxious to obtain any type
of work,—at almost any price! There was no longer any need for an
employment agency, and no employer was willing to pay extra for the con-
venience of having a hiring agent. Jim had been forced to ask Howard
Stimm to rehire him as a laborer and part-time hooligan, and Jim had
been thankful that the contractor had been gracious enough to give him
his old job back.
Then the couples danced some more and before they realized the time,
Guy Lombardo’s band was playing their signature piece, “Auld Lang
Syne”, and the announcement came that the last boat to Buffalo was about
to pull away from the Crystal Beach dock. Once on board the boat, Tom
Murphy began a comic recital that Kay suspected he had performed many
times before. He announced that it had always been his dream to be a
policeman, or a fireman, in a big city, but when he signed up to take the
civil service examinations for these positions in Buffalo, he found that he

didn’t meet the minimum weight requirements for either job. “It isn’t that
I don’t weigh enough, it’s just that I’m too tall!”, he explained. Bee devel-
oped a coughing fit from laughing, as Tom described his efforts to gain
weight by stuffing himself with bananas and mashed potatoes before each
physical examination,—even though she had probably heard this same
story told a dozen times before. As Jim pounded Bee’s back to ease her
coughing, he roared, “This is how I had to treat Tom after he ate all of
those potatoes and bananas!” Kay asked, “Did you ever pass the civil ser-
vice exams?” and Tom replied with a grin, “Not yet!”.
By this time the Canadiana had reached it’s overnight perch at the foot
of Main Street, and as the couples disembarked, Jim suggested that they
stop for hamburgers before they went home. “Let’s see if we can’t put a lit-
tle weight back on poor, skinny Tom”, he stated, displaying his broad
grin.
They stopped at the new White Tower restaurant, at Main and Seneca
Street, before proceeding up to Shelton Square where they would board
the streetcars that would take them home. Bee left the group to board the
No.13 Kensington trolley that would take her to her parent’s home on
Grider Street. The Murphys took the same No 16 South Park trolley that
Kay took each day to return to her First Ward home from Beals. Kay was
aglow as she alighted at the Katherine Street trolley stop, for Tom had
promised to telephone her. Kay suffered an involuntary shudder when she
glanced across the broad street to the small, darkened cottage where she
lived, but the feeling of dread passed quickly once she reminded herself
that there was sure to be many more evenings spent with the entertaining
Murphy brothers.
As Kay crawled into her bed, next to Ag, she was startled by the fear, “I
hope that Jean got home okay”. Then she immediately reassured herself,
“Sure she did! Jean knows how to care for herself!” It was one of the last
times that Kay Griffin gave Jean Devine a second thought!
True to his word, Tom telephoned two nights later, and almost every
night after that. Kay was giddy! She told Tom about her work days. Tom
told her about his search for a full-time job. They talked about radio shows
and about how much both of them enjoyed the singing of Kate Smith.
And they made plans! Invariably they met in public spaces, and attended
public events. They took the Canadiana to Crystal Beach twice more, and
along with Jim and Bee, they took a trolley out to see the new movie “An
American Tragedy” at the brand new Lovejoy Theater. Jim was more
interested in seeing his favorite movie star, Francis Dee, and a newcomer,
beautiful Sylvia Sidney, than he was in visiting Buffalo’s newest movie pal-
ace.
Most Sundays were spent closer to home,—picnicking at Cazenovia
Park and playing penny ante poker with Bee and Jim on the park’s table
and benches. The two couples generally traveled together, enjoyed each
other’s company immensely, and seldom mixed with anyone else.
The Murphy brothers were from ‘alien’ territory—Michigan. They had
no old school chums, and while they were garrulus and had many acquain-
tances, they had made few friends in South Buffalo. Bee was an only child,
lived with her parents in Buffalo’s German section, but Kay had never met
either of Bee’s folks. Kay guessed that the old Germans weren’t particu-
larly happy with their only daughter dating ‘an Irish galoot’. Neither Bee
nor Kay had ever been invited to visit the rooms on Homestead Street, and
Kay didn’t know whether she would go there if she were asked. Kay had
never invited Tom into her home nor had she ever introduced him to
members of her family. Neither “Ma” nor her brother Jimmy had ever dis-
played any interest in Kay’s social life, and frankly that was just the way
that she preferred it. “The less that people knew,—the better!”
Then, one late June afternoon, Kay was startled when she saw her three
cohorts, Tom, Jim, and Bee, grinning like Cheshire cats, leaning in a row
against a yellow car, which was parked outside the employee’s entrance at
Beals. Kay’s initial reaction was surprise at the color of the car. She had
never seen a yellow car before! Then, she immediately wondered how and
why her friends had come downtown to greet her on a workday. Tom
stepped aside, and with a grand gesture, announced, “Jim just bought us a
new car!!”. Kay squealed with delight as Jim held the door of the Ford
Model A “Town Sedan” open for her and roared, “Let’s get something to
eat!”
As he drove out Seneca Street, Jim related with gusto how he had come
into possession of such a fine vehicle. He told how a refined gentleman
had been hired by Stimm Construction, to perform some menial day-labor
work. Jim had been supervising the laborers that day and had heard the
new man describe how he had at one time been a vice-president of the Lar-
kin Soap Company, which was located on Seneca Street. The man told
how in1930, he had purchased one of the first Model A “Town Sedans”
made by Ford Motors and had paid $570 cash for the vehicle. A few weeks
later, Larkin Soap had cleaned house by firing their administrative staff.
There was no other executive work available and it wasn’t long before the
bank foreclosed on his house mortgage. This was enough for the former
executive’s wife,—she left him, taking their daughter and washing
machine with her. He told his fellow laborers that for the past two
months, he had been sleeping in his new car and taking any kind of work,
just to get money for food. Jim smiled as told how he had taken fifty dol-
lars from his pocket, money that he had won in a ‘crap game’ a few nights
earlier, and said as he offered it to the man, “Why don’t you sell me that
car and take this money and get yourself some food and a good night’s
rest?” The bedraggled man had gratefully leapt at the offer and Jim Mur-
phy was the proud owner of a new ‘yellow’ car!
Just then, the carefree foursome was passing the Larkin Administration
Building. Jim waved broadly and shouted, “Thanks Larkin! I owe you
one!”
When the car crossed the City Line, and Seneca Street became Route
#16, Kay was sure that they were heading for Schwabl’s Restaurant which
she knew was on Rte #16 and Union Road in West Seneca NY. Kay had
never been to this restaurant but she had heard some of the salesmen at
Beals describing the delicious roast beef on kimmelweck sandwiches that
Schwabl’s was noted for. As Jim whizzed past Schwabl’s, he announced
that he had made dinner reservations at the Roycroft Inn in East Aurora
NY, and Kay was completely perplexed. Not only had she never been to
East Aurora, she had never even heard of the Roycroft Inn and had no idea
if they even had a restaurant there! Then her puzzlement evaporated and
excitement took over as Jim drove even faster. She suddenly realized that
the only purpose of this trip was that Jim wanted to see how fast his new
car would go and this empty country road was the ideal place to find that
out. Jim and Tom were hooting and hollering and Kay’s heart was pump-
ing wildly when the speedometer registered 60mph. Kay hadn’t known
that anything on earth could move that fast!
When they pulled into the long driveway that led to a complex of mam-
moth, red stone buildings, Kay realized that not only was there really a
Roycroft Inn, but it was a lovely place, in the nicest setting that she had
ever seen. Then, they were seated in the Larkin Room, and Kay was served
the best leg of lamb dinner that she had ever tasted. These four young
adults had suddenly been inducted into a world that they had never
known existed. And Kay enjoyed the experience!
The mood at the dinner table sobered when Bee said that she and her
parents had discussed Bee’s marriage plans during the previous evening.
She held back tears as she reported that her father had lost his job when his
employer merged into the Niagara Hudson Power Company two years
before and he hadn’t been able to find suitable work since. Bee went on to
explain that neither of her parents had ever approved of her relationship
with Jim, and now they were urging her to set aside all marriage plans
until ‘better times’ arrived or she met a man with ‘better prospects’. Kay
held her breath, not knowing what to expect. Suddenly, the broad smile
returned to Jim’s face as he roared, “Who cares what those ‘Krauts’ think?
Tom, let’s go back to the Soo at Christmas time, and Bee and I will get
married there! It’ll give us a chance to see the family again! What do you
say?”The somber mood had been dispelled in an instant.
The balance of the evening was spent with the two Murphys gaily rem-
iniscing about the family that they had left behind in Michigan. Bee’s par-
ents weren’t mentioned again and the presence of Kay and Bee was barely
acknowledged. They talked about their brother Jack, who was now a Sault
Ste Marie police officer, their sisters, Margaret, Mary, Kate and Anne,
someone called Annie Brady and another person referred to as ‘Little
Anna’. Even a deceased brother, Leo, was mentioned. Kay’s eyes and
mouth were agape. She had never heard these names before! She had no
idea that there was this large tribe of Murphys ‘back in the Soo’! Then Jim
mused, “I wonder what Pa will say when we show up?” Tom frowned
while he answered, “I don’t think he’ll even notice!”
On the drive back to Buffalo, Jim turned his head and said, “Kay, you’ll
come with us, won’t you? There’ll be lots of room in this car!” It was an
afterthought! “I don’t know! I’m not sure that I can get off from work.”
Kay replied. She had been pondering what people would say and think,
and how she could convince “Ma” to let her go, ever since the prospect of
a motor trip to Michigan was first mentioned.
Of more immediate concern to Kay was the fact that she hadn’t told her
mother that she wouldn’t be home for dinner that night. Kay knew that
“Ma” would be upset and Kay hoped that neither “Ma”, nor her brother
Jim, had done anything rash like reporting Kay’s disappearance to the
police. She could find some excuse for her absence to tell her family, but
the police would be another matter. As the yellow car approached the
small cottage, Kay was relieved to see that once again, the place was dark
and she’d be able to get to bed without any hassle or recriminations. At
breakfast the next morning, there was no question or comment about
Kay’s unexplained and unauthorized absence. Kay’s immediate reaction
was to say to herself, “There’ll be no trouble about me going to Michigan!”
By an odd coincidence, Kay and Bee had been born within a few days
of each other, in 1905, —both had been born in Buffalo, but when Kay
first met Bee, and Jim, and Tom, she had lied when she had been asked
her age. She had shaved a few years off because she was afraid that Tom
wouldn’t find her attractive if he knew that Kay was a few months his
senior. In fact, Tom Murphy was so proud to call this Irish beauty ‘his
girl’, that it wouldn’t have mattered if she were a decade older than he. Yet
Kay never appreciated how much she was valued, and continued to give a
fictitious birth year until her death. Nevertheless, each year until wartime
service separated the two couples, Jim and Tom insisted on hosting one
birthday dinner party for both young ladies. On July 12, 1931, the two
couples drove over the Peace Bridge to ‘The Chinaman’s Steak House’ in
Fort Erie, Ont. for the celebration. Canada had ended it’s prohibition
against consumption of alcoholic beverages in 1927, so that it was legal for
a Buffalonian to have a drink once one was ‘over the Bridge’. Before order-
ing dinner, Jim ordered a round of Molsen’s Blue and proposed a toast,
“To my little brother Tom, —and his new position with the Buffalo
Board of Education!”
Tom smiled broadly. He had been dying to break this good news all
day! He told how earlier in the week he had gone to City Hall to check on
upcoming Civil Service examinations. He had run into Charley Kennedy,
who he knew as a monitor at several of the tests that Tom had taken in the
past. Kennedy had asked how it was going, and when Tom told him that
he was having trouble passing the physical qualifications for either police
or fire fighter positions, Charley had suggested that they have a cup of cof-
fee together in the City Hall cafeteria. Kennedy then explained that he was
a teacher in Buffalo’s Board of Education, and had recently received the
appointment as Principal of the new Grover Cleveland High School,
which was opening in September 1931, in Buffalo’s West Side, on Porter
Avenue near Plymouth Street. Kennedy explained that he had no control
over what teachers were assigned to classroom duties at the new school,
but he had complete authority to hire the building’s ‘custodian’. The cus-
todian position called for a man with building maintenance and construc-
tion experience, and in addition the custodian would be responsible for
security within the building. Kennedy said that he was expecting that the
majority of the students at Grover would be Italian, and in order to avoid
‘trouble’, he wanted somebody in charge of building security that he could
trust. He asked if Tom was interested and Tom didn’t hesitate for even a
moment before he accepted. Tom had received confirmation of his
appointment in the mail that morning and would begin work on August
1st. Jim had insisted on the dinner-time announcement, and as he
expected, the girls were ecstatic!
There were still some details to be attended. Tom realized that since he
didn’t have an automobile, he would have to obtain lodgings nearby the
school. He would have to move his belongings from the apartment on
Homestead Street and would probably have to purchase some furniture
and maybe appliances, within the next few weeks. Tom asked if Kay
would help and she replied, “Sure! In any way that I can”. She had come to
realize that Tom had become much more than just a ‘casual date’, but she
remained guarded, for she had also learned that things seldom turned out
to be as good as you expected them to be.
The following weeks were a flurry of activity. Tom found a first floor,
corner apartment in a complex on the corner of West Avenue and Jersey
Street, two blocks from the school. Tom and Kay had gone together to JN
Adams department store, on Thursday night after Kay left work, to pur-
chase a double bed, box spring and mattress. On Saturday, Jim had driven
the pair to the Buffalo Washing Machine Repair Co. on Sweet Avenue, so
that they could purchase a rebuilt washing machine, with a ringer roller.
“Tom, you’ve become domesticated!” Jim roared as they drove away from
the store.
Once Grover Cleveland High opened, and classes began, Kay noticed
subtle changes in Tom’s demeanor and conversation. Of course, he had
less time for socializing but he also seemed quieter and more withdrawn
when they were alone together, and even on those occasions shared with
Jim and Bee. His spontaneous sense of humor and the wry wit had been
replaced by a bemused tolerance of people and events. His conversation
was sprinkled with the names of his new associates at Grover. Of course
there was Mr Kennedy, the principal, and Catherine Sullivan, the princi-
pal’s secretary and head of the school’s office. Tom seemed to adore Miss
Sullivan. The only teachers that Tom mentioned were Genevieve Garrity,
Helen McGowan, John Roach, and John Devine. He seemed to be
extremely fond of Ray Ping, the school’s athletic coach, and the only one
of the staff that Tom seemed to spend much time with. Kay noted that
while most of the surnames of Tom’s new acquaintances were Irish, none
of them came from, or lived in South Buffalo or the First Ward.
The main topic of conversation when Kay and Tom got together with
Bee and Jim was the upcoming trip to the Soo and the post-marriage plans
of Jim and Bee. The distance between Buffalo and Sault Ste Marie, Michi-
gan was 525 miles, if one cut across Ontario to Flint MI and then took
Rte 75 north from there. Jim figured that if they left early Christmas Eve,
with him and Tom alternating driving, the two couples would arrive in the
Soo early Christmas morning. Their brother, Jack, had scheduled the wed-
ding ceremony on Dec.28,1931 and Jim expected the return trip to Buf-
falo to be completed before New Years Day. Tom reported that since
Grover would be closed between Christmas and New Years, he would have
no trouble getting the time off to make the trip. Kay told how she had
been able to get the time off, but because business was so slow, she
wouldn’t receive any pay for the days that she didn’t work. Kay didn’t tell
anyone that when she informed her mother that she was going on a week-
long trip, and therefore wouldn’t be home for the Holidays, the news was
received without questions or comment. Bee wouldn’t discuss anything
other than the fact that she wasn’t about to take Tom’s place in the rooms
on Homestead Street and Jim had better do something about getting her a
decent home!
On the Sunday before the elopement departure date, Kay waited until
her brother Jimmy had left the house to go to the Knights of Columbus
for his scheduled handball match, then she wordlessly took her previously
packed valise, walked around the corner onto Red Jacket Parkway and
waited for Jim Murphy to arrive in his yellow town sedan. She placed the
suitcase in the trunk of the car, gave Jim a hug and returned home to listen
to her Sunday radio programs. Later in the week, early in the morning of
Christmas Eve, Kay dressed in her best party dress, donned her new fur
trimmed winter coat, and prepared to leave the house, as she did every day
when she left to go to work. She was startled to find “Ma” standing by the
kitchen door. “Ma” smiled wanly, embraced her oldest daughter, and as
she caressed Kay’s cheek with her workwoman’s hands, said fatalistically,
“Be a good girl, Catherine”.
Riding on the streetcar to Shelton Square, where she had promised to
meet the Murphys and Bee, Kay was struck by a sudden sense of forebod-
ing. She suddenly realized that this was the first time that she could recall
that her mother had hugged her, or demonstrated any sign of affectation
or warmth toward her. Then a chilled shudder passed through her body
and she said to herself, “Well, if she didn’t want me to go, she should have
said something sooner!”
As Kay got off the streetcar, her heart gladdened when she spotted the
yellow car parked beside the fortress-like, red stone walls of the Erie
County Savings Bank. She had been eagerly anticipating accompanying
the Murphys, and Bee, on this new adventure. Kay invariably had enjoyed
herself while she was in the company of these three new friends. She par-
ticularly admired their fearless ‘love of life’, and their conviction that they
could handle any situation that confronted them.
Kay tingled with excitement, when sitting in the rear seat of the car
with Tom, and nearing the Peace Bridge, she realized that she had never
before been farther away from home than Crystal Beach Ont. Although
she had absolutely no idea of where she was going, or what she would do
when she got there, she was aching with readiness to travel, to meet new
people, and to have some excitement in her life.
If she had any idea of the travails of a motor trip to Sault Ste Marie,
Michigan, she would never have packed a suitcase. First, there was a two
hundred mile trek across the Province of Ontario.
The two lane roads were usually covered with snow, and visibility was
constantly hampered by wind-driven snow being blown across the barren
landscape. The weather improved slightly once they reached Port Huron
and reentered the United States, for now they were traveling to the west of
both lakes Huron and Erie. But it was still cold, and as they moved north
from Flint, Michigan, the temperature grew colder. When they reached
Mackinaw City, the temperature had dropped to fifteen degrees above
zero, and they had missed the ferry across Mackinaw Strait by less than fif-
teen minutes. Kay and Bee had bundled up with blankets in the back seat
of the sedan, and tried to sleep away the five hour wait until the next ferry-
boat left Mackinaw City. Their efforts to get some rest met with only
modest success, and all efforts of the boys to lift the spirits, or to ease the
discomfort and distress of the two young ladies, failed completely.
Once the Straits of Mackinaw were navigated, the two couples pro-
ceeded fifty-six miles, up another two lane, snow covered road, to one of
the most the northern-most points in the State of Michigan,—Sault Ste
Marie. When they finally arrived at the town, the girls were aghast! Begin-
ning about three miles from the town’s center, modest farm houses and
single family homes began to appear. There was a schoolhouse, and a
church and then they were in downtown. It looked like something out of a
Johnny Mack Brown western movie! Downtown was less than two blocks
long, with a hardware store, a dry goods store, a five and dime, a Ford
dealer and gas station, a diner and a movie theater that was only open on
weekends. The rest of the territory seemed to contain only windswept
open fields and a few, scattered and desolate, farmhouses. Bee muttered to
Kay, “Now I know why Murphy’s so happy in Buffalo!”.
Kay was also surprised when the group approached the Murphy family
home for it wasn’t a farmhouse, but a modest two story structure, located
at the edge of town. The ring of the handled doorbell was answered by a
short, gray haired man, with a wiry build, and a handle-bar mustache.
When he saw the two young men, and their ladies, the old man
snorted, turned on his heel and left the doorway without saying a word.
Jim muttered under his breath, “Pa—it’s good to see you again, too”.
Immediately, the man’s place was taken by a large woman, dressed in a
housedress and apron. She had a slight hunch in her shoulders, but exuded
an aura of strength. It was Tom and Jim’s mother, whose kind face con-
tained a perpetual quiet smile, and two bright blue eyes that were magni-
fied by the thick wire framed spectacles that she was never without. Kay
was taken aback when Mother Murphy’s first words were, “Well girls,
what do you think of our town? It’ll only take you about ten minutes to
paint the whole place brown, aye!” With that, she gave a big, welcoming
hug to her boys and to Bee. She held Kay’s hands in hers for just a
moment, as she gazed into the eyes of this colleen from Buffalo, before
sweeping her into a warm and loving embrace. It was apparent to everyone
that Mother Murphy was prepared to grant a very special place in her
heart to Kay Griffin. On the other hand, Kay was a little wary because she
couldn’t remember ever being hugged before, and she was suspicious of
emotional demonstrations, particularly in front of other people.
Bee and Kay were soon introduced to ‘Aunt Min’, Mother Murphy’s
blind sister, who also seemed to be crippled with arthritis and in need of
constant care. Kay tried to hide her discomfort, for she was always uneasy
when she was in the presence of anyone with an affliction, but she was
determined that she wasn’t going to leave a bad impression on anyone in
Sault Ste Marie, Michigan. The girls then met another resident of Mother
Murphy’s home,’Little Anna’, who was a warm and charming lady, quite
petite and much younger than Jim or Tom., She was apparently being
raised as a ‘ward’ of Mother Murphy.
‘Little Anna’ announced that Christmas dinner would be served at 3
PM., when Jack Murphy, Tom’s oldest brother, would return from his
policeman’s duties. Mother Murphy said that the two girls would share
Jack’s bedroom on the second floor of her home, but that Jack, Jim, and
Tom were going to have to stay with their sister Kate, in her farmhouse,
for the duration of their stay.
A chilly overcast permeated the Christmas dinner, as a mute “Pa” Mur-
phy sat at the head of the table, stifling all lighthearted family discourse.
Once Jack, Jim, and Tom had left to spend the night at Kate’s farmhouse,
the demeanor of the patriarch abruptly changed. “Pa” suddenly became
interested in what each of the Buffalo girls thought, where they worked,
and what their family life was like. Bee and Kay were stunned into embar-
rassed silence, or one word answers. Then “Pa” began telling them about
the wondrous qualities of Sault Ste Marie, Ontario. “Would you like to go
there with me tomorrow? We can get some real whiskey and I can show
you girls a really good time!” “I don’t drink whiskey!” Kay whimpered as
she shrunk behind a sofa pillow.
“You should be ashamed, you dirty old man!” Mother Murphy’s stern
presence suddenly filled the room. She continued her scolding, “First, you
treat your sons rudely, and now you’re insulting these fine young ladies! If
you can’t learn to behave yourself, I’ll have you put away where you won’t
ever hurt anybody again!” The old man was silent as he sat bug-eyed on
the sofa.
“There, there, girls. Never mind him! Come let me show you to your
room.” Mother Murphy said with quiet gentleness, as she steered the two
dumbstruck girls up the stairs. Kay thought that she had never witnessed
such bizarre behavior before, and she never expected to have another expe-
rience like that, at least once she was clear of the “Soo”.
On Tuesday the entire Murphy clan, except “Pa’, gathered at Kate
Mansfield’s (Tom’s older sister) farm house for some pre-nuptial celebra-
tion. It was Kay’s first visit to a farm, and any illusions that she might have
held about farm life were instantly destroyed. The windswept fields were
covered by an icy glaze The farmhouse was old and lacked central heat, the
barn smelled terribly,—and there was no indoor plumbing! Bee and Kay
were introduced to the Murphy girls, Katie and Mary, to Kate’s husband
Ray Mansfield, and to Annie and Jack Brady. Little Anna was in atten-
dance and Jack Murphy had brought his girl friend, Alma.
At the conclusion of the introductions, beer that had been smuggled
from Canada was passed around and the Murphy kin began regaling each
other with tales of pranks, and teasing, and other childhood adventures.
Memories of old friendships, and enmities were rehashed and inflated. Jim
and Tom told stories about their adventures in Western New York and
Jack Murphy told some in-house police stories about crimes and scandals
in the “Soo”. The only thing not discussed, or acknowledged in any way,
was the presence of the two girls from Buffalo. Even though Bee was the
betrothed, and Kay was Tom’s girl, they were both strangers and outsiders
to the Murphy clan. Bee and Kay sat off to the side of the group, bundled
in afghan shawls and not daring to participate in the discussions or even to
make their presence felt.
Finally, at the conclusion of a pot-luck supper, Tom said, “Bee, why
don’t you go sit by Jim, and get to know the rest of the family?” He then
added quietly, “Kay, I want you to come with me! Jim has loaned us his
car and I’d like to show you some of the ‘Soo’ before we have to leave.”
Kay had never received a more generous, or more welcome invitation in
her entire life!
The next day’s wedding ceremony was brief, simple and beautiful. Jim
wore a dark business suit and Bee was dressed in pale blue, with a simple
white lace veil covering her head. Jim’s parents were in attendance, along
with Jack Murphy who acted as ‘best man’ and ‘Little Anna’, Bee’s ‘maid
of honor’, as well as Tom and Kay. The marriage vows were exchanged
before the Creche, preceding a low Mass. As the newly-weds left the
church Jim said to Tom, “Let’s get going home! We can catch breakfast
along the way!”
Tuesday night’s reveling, as well as snowy, slippery roads, made the
return trip to Buffalo a rather somber affair. There was little gaiety or teas-
ing, and only perfunctory conversation. When the yellow sedan pulled up
in front of 620 Elk Street to discharge Kay, she was astonished to realize
that she was glad to be home!
As she tossed about, awaiting slumber, Kay began to realize that several
of her illusions had been shattered. She hadn’t enjoyed being treated as a
stranger, with farm women laughing at her Buffalo accent. Much of the
glamour had also been rubbed off the Murphy brothers. Now she realized
that they weren’t ‘knights in shining armor’ but just two farm boys that
had escaped from a throughly unpleasant place. For the first time she
appreciated the fact that they should count themselves lucky that they had
fared so well in Buffalo, without any education and without knowing any-
one in town. One of her last thoughts, before dropping off into a deep
sleep, was, —“Jim Murphy never would have met a girl as nice and pretty
as Bee Meyers, if he hadn’t left the ‘Soo’.
In the days, and weeks after she returned to work at Beals, Kay sensed a
slight change in the attitude and demeanor of her co-workers. A couple of
the girls in the office asked if she had gone out of town, or inquired who
she had visited. Kay was of course absolutely non-committal and gave no
definitive answers. But when after several days, George Weichman, the
salesman, went out of his way to ask with a smirk, “Did you have a good
time on your holiday?”, Kay knew that she had been the subject of office
gossip while she had been away from work. But she knew that no one
could know that she had gone out of town with her boyfriend,—unless
someone Kay knew had talked. And no one could have talked,—except
her brother Tommy, who worked in the shipping department! And if
Tommy knew, he told his wife! And if ‘that Helen’ knew, then the whole
First Ward was talking about Kay Griffin’s ‘business’. Kay was mortified!
Things at home hadn’t changed much at all. Kay’s brother Jimmy
remained totally absorbed in athletics and sporting news. Agnes was now
complaining that no one would hire her because she wasn’t pretty and
because she talked funny. And, she was continually howling that she was
tired of always having to babysit Tommy and Helen’s two kids. “Ma” was
increasingly grumbling that she was having trouble ‘making ends meet’.
The most notable change in Kay’s life was that Tom and she rarely went
out on dates, and Kay hadn’t seen Jim nor Bee since they had all returned
from the ‘Soo’. Tom also called less frequently, and the nature and tone of
their conversations had changed. They still discussed the recent radio per-
formances of Kate Smith and Rudy Vallee, but more and more Tom’s ref-
erences were to events that had taken place at Grover Cleveland High
School and to his conversations and activities with people that Kay had
never met. He seemed more distant each time that he called, so that Kay
began to dread hearing the telephone ring, and then she became irritable
and jumpy if Tom didn’t call her each day. Her discomfort was also begin-
ning to effect her job performance. She had to be excused from performing
tasks on a few occasions because of a headache or upset stomach. And as
she ailed, she became more nervous and high strung. Her edginess caused
her to snipe at co-workers, family members and especially, at Tom. Their
reaction to Kay’s carping often resulted in Kay becoming nauseous.
Things were escalating out of control!
After about five weeks, Kay was forced to stay home from work because
of nausea. Once Jimmy had left for work Agnes quickly excused herself to
go downtown to look for work. When, at last they were alone Kay sat
down at the kitchen table to have a rare, earnest talk with her mother.
“Ma, I’ve been to see a doctor!”, Kay blurted.
“And …?”, ‘Ma’ replied. She was truly stunned, for none of the family
was in the habit of visiting doctors and Kay had been the most resistant to
any kind of medical advice or treatment.
“He says that I’m going to have a baby!”
“And who is this doctor?” ‘Ma’ asked.
“I went to the Emergency Room at St Mary’s Hospital”, Kay sobbed.
‘Ma’ stiffened as she said, “Well, thanks be to God! You at least had
enough sense not to go traipsing around at Father Baker’s, where everyone
would want to know your business!” She pursed her lips before asking,
“Does Tom know?”
“No, I didn’t know what, or how to tell him.” Kay was now stammer-
ing.
“Calm yourself girl! There’ll be plenty of time to make announcements,
after we decide what we’ll do next!” She asked, almost without interest,
“When is the ‘blessed event’?”. Kay didn’t see where all of this was leading,
but she answered, “The doctor said probably about Labor Day.”
‘Ma’ was now murmuring, almost to herself. “We’ll have to do some-
thing quickly! They won’t put up with any shenanigans at Beals. Once
they find out that your going to have a baby and that you aren’t married,
you’ll be out of there! If only we had some place to send you until after the
birth. I know that bunch up in Michigan won’t put up with you for
another seven months! And no matter what happens, your salary is a goner
as soon as that bunch at Beals finds out that you’re pregnant. If only you
had gotten married at Christmas time instead of that other galoot!”
“Why don’t I tell everyone that Tom and I eloped, and that we were
married in Michigan during the Christmas holidays?, Kay asked hesitantly.
“And why don’t you now?”, ‘Ma’ was smiling as broadly as if a lepre-
chaun had delivered her a pot of gold. But the smile and her enthusiasm
quickly faded as reality replaced the fantasy, “Your brother Jimmy will
never allow that Murphy fellow to live in this house!” It seemed that Kay’s
wages were to be irreparably lost to the Griffins, no matter what action was
taken.”Oh well, maybe something will turn up later. It normally does!”
‘Ma’ intoned as she quickly terminated the discussion and whisked off to
the pantry.
Kay was puzzled and hurt. Her mother seemed to be indifferent to her
plight and only seemed to be concerned about losing some of the Griffin
family income. Kay laid on her bed the balance of the afternoon, fretting
about her meager and unpleasant options. Then, she came to her deci-
sion,—she would marry Tom and move into his apartment on Buffalo’s
West Side. She would tell the people at Beals that she and Tom had been
married at Christmas time in Sault Ste Marie, Michigan. She wouldn’t tell
Tom of her ‘delicate condition’ until later, so that he wouldn’t wonder
about her reasons for wanting to get married now, or worry that she didn’t
love him. Once decided, Kay would never waver in her resolution, nor
ever doubt or question the correctness of her decision and subsequent
actions.
Of course, the story that she related to Tom had a slightly different fla-
vor. Kay told how she had a terrific row with her brother. She related that
while at the Knights of Columbus, Jimmy had heard that his sister had
spent a week outside of town in the company of the two Murphy brothers!
Jimmy was furious about being embarrassed and humiliated in front of
his friends and had stated that he wasn’t going to have a slattern living in
his house, with his mother, and that if the story was true, his sister would
immediately be sent packing to the Home of the Good Shepherd! Kay said
that when her brother had made this accusation she was frightened for
Tom’s safety and fearful that she would be sent away from Tom forever,
and so she had blurted out that the story wasn’t true! Kay reported that she
told her family that she and Tom, and Bea and Jim, had both eloped and
that both couples had been married while in ‘the Soo’. Kay told Tom that
Jimmy had responded that if this story was true, she should be living with
her husband, and not be giving scandal by pretending that she was still sin-
gle.
Murphy was completely flummoxed by this tale, but he was also
delighted by the prospect of Kay moving in with him, for he was already
tired of living alone, he enjoyed Kay’s company and he expected that they
would be married,—someday. He readily agreed that Kay could move into
his West Side apartment at any time that it was convenient for her. Kay
immediately replied that she had no intention of ‘living in sin’ and that she
wanted to be married in a Catholic Church before she and Tom began liv-
ing as ‘man and wife’. She suggested that they could be secretly married in
a ceremony the same way that Jim and Bea were, preceding a low Mass in
a local, but unfamiliar Church. She added that of course she couldn’t
invite her family or friends to the ceremony since they believed that a
Catholic ceremony had already taken place in Michigan. Tom stammered
that one of the teachers at Grover, John Roach, had a brother who was a
priest and was stationed at Nativity Parish, on Buffalo’s West Side near
Tom’s apartment. Kay insisted that Tom arrange a wedding ceremony
immediately. Furthermore, she added that none of her family or co-work-
ers would be told anything about any Buffalo marriage, and she suggested
that Tom not ‘let on’ to any of his co-workers that they hadn’t been mar-
ried during the trip to the ‘Soo’. She firmly believed that “the less people
knew about your business, the better off everyone was!”
Tom and Kay were married by Father David (Bud) Roach, in a beauti-
ful, but quiet ceremony, before 8AM Mass at Nativity RC Church, on
February 22,1932. Only Jim and Bea Murphy attended the wedding, and
the married couple reported for work on the day of their marriage, as if
nothing extraordinary had occurred.
Kay moved into Tom’s West Avenue apartment that evening and they
lived together for the next fifty years.
3
Buffalo’s West Side
When Kay told her supervisors and the accounting department at Beals
that she had been married and had a new address, she was astounded at the
groundswell of encouragement, congratulations, and joy that came from
her co-workers. Of course she knew that each time that she heard the
phrase, “There’ll be no keeping up with you now, Kay!”, there was a tinge
of envy in the speaker’s voice and mind, since it was well known that when
‘lace-curtain Irish’ moved from the First Ward to Buffalo’s West Side, they
snobbishly thought that they had ‘bettered’ themselves and became
instantly ‘high brow’. Kay never appreciated the fact that people liked her
because she was pleasant company and a nice person. She always suspected
that the good wishes of others were couched in cynicism and often hid
some secret resentment of her.
Kay was particularly surprised by the warm embrace, and tearful good
wishes that she received from her brother, Tommy. “Good for you, darlin’
Kay” was all that he said, but on that day it was obvious that his pride in
his little sister knew no bounds. “Rocko” never possessed the tempera-
ment, intelligence, ambition or desire to leave “the Ward” but he obvi-
ously was delighted at the joy and good fortune of Kay, who he had always
secretly revered.
In a practical sense, Kay found that living in a new neighborhood was
an extremely pleasant change from the life that she had known while living
on Elk Street. She was able to continue working at Beals for several
months, and during that time her salary, combined with Tom’s, allowed
the newly-weds to establish a small emergency fund and to purchase a few
modern conveniences, like an iron and a gas stove for cooking. Their
apartment building, located on the southwest corner of West Avenue and
50
Buffalo’s West Side 51
Jersey Street, had a basement where Kay could use her new washing
machine, without disturbing her neighbors or interrupting Tom’s listen-
ing to the radio.
After a few months, when her obvious pregnancy forced Kay to discon-
tinue her employment, and despite July and August ’32 being two of the
hottest months in Buffalo’s history, she learned to enjoy her solitude, and
the conveniences offered in the new neighborhood. Their apartment was
located only two blocks from Tom’s workplace, Grover Cleveland High
School. The Grant Street bus went by their front door, providing easy and
economical access to Buffalo’s Downtown Business District and theaters,
as well as to the Grant/Ferry shopping district. Kay could take the Grant
Street bus to Shelton Square and then transfer to the South Park trolley,
which would take her to her mother’s front door. But now-a-days, Kay sel-
dom visited her old homestead, preferring to stay home and listen to the
radio, by herself. The Porter-Best bus, which traversed the City in an east/
west direction, was located one block from her home, but Kay simply had
no occasion to use this route for any purpose. Cramer’s Delicatessen and
the College Pharmacy were located one block away at West and Plymouth
Avenues, and there was a small grocery store nearby on Jersey Street. Tom
would normally get fresh meat and vegetables at Provost’s Market, which
was located directly across the street from Grover. And then there was
Connecticut Street, extending easterly from West Avenue to Richmond
Avenue, and offering a daily cornucopia of Italian foods, aromas and cos-
tumes. but Kay rarely ventured into this shopping district, finding it
exotic, and to her, a frightening culture.
On August 30th, Kay gave birth to a healthy and hardy baby boy. The
proud parents named him Thomas, namesake of his father and both of his
grandfathers. The ensuing months were joyful as Tom and Kay experi-
enced parenting and their first family Christmas holidays together. Bee
Murphy had given birth to a baby girl, Marlene, during November of
1932 and at Eastertime, the proud parents replicated their earlier trek to
Sault Ste Marie Mich., this time to display the newest Murphy grandchil-
dren. While the two couples were visiting in the Soo, their brother Jack’s
wife, Alva, gave birth to her firstborn, Donald. A new generation of Mur-
phys had been conceived and born into the world.
Despite the fact that America, and indeed the whole world, had
plunged into what would be known as the “Great Depression”, there was
no despair among the three Murphy brothers and their wives. Buffalo’s
industries had been ravaged by the drop in demand for steel products and
autos, and while unemployment roles exceeded 25% of the Buffalo’s
workforce, and continued to worsen, Tom’s position at Grover Cleveland
High School seemed secure, and Jim Murphy seldom missed a day’s pay
while working for construction firms. Jack Murphy had passed a civil ser-
vice test and had become a Sault Ste Marie policeman.
In 1934, newly elected Buffalo Mayor George Zimmerman, began a
series of federally financed public works, which promised additional job
opportunities for Buffalo’s construction workers. The Fillmore-Lovejoy
Sewer Project and the construction of Kensington High School and of a
new sports arena, Civic Stadium, at Jefferson and Best Streets, were only
the beginnings of a massive infusion of federal funds into Buffalo public
works projects.. Jim Murphy, who was earning a handsome salary as fore-
man for Stimm Construction Company, and had recently purchased a
new home in rural Eggertsville NY, continually urged his brother Tom to
leave his menial position at Grover Cleveland High, and return to the
more financially rewarding construction work. Tom insisted that he found
comfort in the steady and regular civil service wages, and that he was earn-
ing enough money to support his young family, and besides this, he
enjoyed working with the people at Grover. He had formed a fast friend-
ship with Ray Ping, the athletic director and coach, and with Catherine
Sullivan, who was secretary to the school’s principal. Tom also enjoyed the
conversational flow and verbal exchanges between the faculty and staff at
the school. But most of all, although Tom would have denied it if it had
been openly stated, Tom knew that Mr Charles Kennedy, School Princi-
pal, had taken a special interest in the Murphy family’s well-being, and
Tom enjoyed the feeling of protection and security offered by having a
friend in an authoritative position.
Kay also had grown quite comfortable in her new surroundings and life
style. There were several young and growing families nearby. The Lani-
gans, with three robust sons, lived in the apartment building which was
kitty-cornered from the Murphy residence at West Ave and Jersey Streets,
and the Marshiello’s, with three older girls and two young sons, lived half
a block up Jersey Street, in an upper flat. All of the young mothers, with
their broods, took advantage of every nice day to stroll up and down Por-
ter Avenue, between Prospect Park and Symphony Circle. But, Kay still
didn’t meet people easily. She was shy, and in particular, seemed uncom-
fortable exchanging pleasantries, or idle conversation, with other women.
So for the most part, social exchanges consisted of a smile, a nod, or a
pleasant ‘hello’. Then, one bright, summer day, Kay was ambling past the
grand homes on Porter Avenue, pushing her son in the pram that Tom
had recently purchased, and deep in thought, when she brushed against a
middle aged woman and her daughter, who were alighting from a large,
black Packard car. Kay was flustered and apologetic, for the accident had
clearly been her fault. The woman immediately assured the distraught
mother that no injury, or damage had occurred, that both parties had been
distracted by their offspring, and therefore no one was to blame for the
minor mishap. She then made an exaggerated fuss over the beaming face
of Kay’s son, who was quietly sitting in the carriage, and excused herself as
she proceeded up the steps to the elegant residence. Kay had gone only a
few more paces when Mrs Christina, who was walking her infant daughter
Barbara along the same path, approached Kay and asked, “Do you know
who that lady was?” Kay answered that she didn’t know and hadn’t asked.
Mrs Christina then stated, with a bit of awe in her voice, “That lady was
Mrs Zimmerman. The Mayor’s wife!”. From that day forward, Kay felt
that she was accorded a bit of respect from the young strolling matrons on
Porter Avenue, since she was the only one who was on speaking terms with
the Buffalo Mayor’s wife. She began to take particular delight in walking
with her son up to Grover Cleveland High School, where he could visit
with his father for a few moments. Kay would also stop in at the Princi-
pal’s Office where she would exchange pleasantries with Catherine Sulli-
van, Mr Kennedy’s secretary. Kay was an excellent stenographer and had
several years experience working in a large, busy office, and therefore

found it easy to establish a comradery with the affable Miss Sullivan. Mr
Kennedy, a warm fatherly figure, would always come out of his office to
inquire into Kay’s well-being and to tousle Tommy’s curls and offer the
lad a bit of candy.
Kay found no such warmth exuding from the school’s faculty members.
While they were almost all of Irish descent, she found the teachers to be
distant and aloof. Not at all like the Irish in the First Ward that she’d
grown up with. The men, like John Devine, Hugh Coughlin and John
Roach, acted as if Kay’s lack of a college degree gave them a warrant to
treat her as a brainless bimbo. The female teachers, Genevieve Garriaty
and Helen McGowan, were loud, boisterous ‘old maids’, who’s idea of a
good time was to go out to a neighborhood bar after working hours, where
they could trade raucous and bawdy jokes with their married, male co-
workers. Tom never asked Kay to attend school functions, nor did he ever
invite faculty members to visit the Murphy residence, and Kay was grateful
for these considerations.
Kay took particular, and secret, delight in her comely appearance. Her
body was trim and well proportioned. Her radiant, well scrubbed face and
quiet smile projected an image usually presented only by a Hollywood stu-
dio. In fact, several acquaintances had remarked on Kay’s startling resem-
blance to Teresa Wright, the movie star. It pleased Kay when she drew
admiring glances from students as she walked with her son on the Grover
Cleveland school grounds. Then, one bright sunny day in May, as she was
leaving the school building, with her son in tow, she heard a ‘wolf whistle’.
She turned to see a cluster of six, or seven, male students. Then she heard
her husband thunder, “Which one of you Dagos whistled?”. When there
was no reply, he continued, “Well I want all of your names. We’ll see if a
few days suspension doesn’t teach you wise guys to respect a lady!”. Kay
was mortified and hurried home without another word. Later, after din-
ner, Tom told her that he didn’t want her ‘hanging around’ Grover Cleve-
land High anymore.
Then slowly, almost imperceptibly, Kay’s life began to change.
At the end of the 1935 school year, Tom tearfully told Kay that all Buf-
falo municipal employees, including Board of Education staff, were going
to have to take a 15% cut in pay. Tom said that Mr Kennedy had prom-
ised that Tom would receive extra duty assignments whenever it was possi-
ble, and this extra pay would lessen the coming financial hardship.
Nevertheless, Tom and Kay, and their son, would have to find less expen-
sive living quarters.
Their first new home was a cramped one bedroom apartment on Ply-
mouth Avenue. Kay liked her new landlords, two elderly brothers who had
partitioned their small home in order to make ends meet. But Tom was
unhappy with the closed quarters and after six weeks, the Murphy family
moved out in the middle of the night, without having paid their kindly
landlords any rent.
The next residence was a slightly more spacious apartment on 16th
street. This was an entirely different neighborhood from the one that Kay
had become accustomed to. First, they were no longer members of Holy
Angels Parish, but now attended Mass at the Nativity Church. Kay sensed
that whenever she met Father Dave Roach, the assistant pastor, he had a
slight smirk on his face, as if he was remembering the circumstances of
Kay’s hurried wedding ceremony. Also, all of the neighbors were Italian!
Tom was continually carping about the smelly, noisy habits of the people
next door, and on several occasions small disputes with neighbors became
heated arguments and almost ended up becoming brawls. When Tom was
away from home, Kay never went outside. She was fearful that her neigh-
bor’s hostility would result in an attack upon her or upon her son, and
thus Kay became a prisoner in her own home.
At the same time, Kay’s sister, Agnes announced that she was going to
be married. Her fiancee was Bill Batt, an affable machinist, who Kay had
met only once. Agnes had prattled on about how ‘her Bill’ had such a good
job that he had recently been able to purchase a 1934 Plymouth automo-
bile. Agnes would be the first member of the Griffin family to have a car at
her disposal. Kay felt that this was hardly reason enough to marry a man
who was overweight, not handsome at all, and not particularly smart or
funny. When Kay received her invitation to the wedding ceremony, she
declined stating that Tom had been assigned extra work as a marshal at the
high school football games at All-High stadium on Saturdays, and that she
would be unable to get anyone to attend her son on the scheduled wed-
ding day.
Then, one November evening, Tom returned from his marshaling job
all bruised and bloody. He said that he had been accosted and beaten by a
group of seven or eight youths at the high school football game. He said
that he hadn’t recognized any of the boys, but that he knew that they were
‘dagos’, and he had no idea what had prompted the attack. Kay said that
she knew that this brawl was the result of numerous confrontations with
their Italian neighbors, and she wanted to move from the neighborhood as
soon as possible. Secretly, Kay suspected that the beating might have been
provoked by Tom’s posturing over the admiring glances that Kay had
received from students at Grover. For whatever the reason, this was an
excuse to get out of this troublesome, confining neighborhood.
Tom found a small, lower flat on 14th Street, which was closer to
Grover Cleveland High than the 16th Street address, and was located back
in Holy Angels parish. Although the rent for the flat was as much as they
had been paying for the West Ave apartment, Tom said that Ray Ping had
arranged for him to teach badminton to adults at night school, and the
extra wages would offset the higher outlay for rent. Tom also reported that
Bill Provost, the local grocer had offered to extend credit for food, for as
long as it took for the Murphys to financially get back on their feet.
Kay secretly resolved that she was going to get her old job at Beals back,
just as soon as they got settled in their new home, and she could find a
decent and reliable baby-sitter for her three year old son. In January 1936
the Murphy family moved into another residence, in a better neighbor-
hood, and with brighter prospects for the future.
Once she had settled into the comfortable apartment, Kay found that
things were now indeed different, but she wasn’t quite sure that her lot
had been much improved. She and Tom had a nice bedroom to them-
selves, but the baby’s bed room was only slightly bigger than a closet. The
new neighbors were quiet and friendly, but Kay hadn’t found anyone liv-
ing nearby that was even remotely her age. There was no nearby public
transportation and getting to visit her mother in the First Ward required a
lot of walking, waiting for streetcars and buses, often in inclement
weather, and overall a lot more trouble than it was worth. Kay immedi-
ately dismissed any thoughts that she had harbored about returning to
working at Beals on a daily basis. The daily trek would have been exhaust-
ing. It seemed that they never could reduce the amount of money that was
owed to Bill Provost. And then there was the fact that Tom was seldom
home! He was teaching badminton two nights a week, and playing poker
with his friends on weekends. Kay was as isolated as she had been when
she was living on 16th Street.
So it was somewhat startling for Kay to discover that she was once again
pregnant, and would be giving birth to a second child, somewhere around
Thanksgiving Day! Since it was almost time for the Griffin family to
gather to watch ‘The Parade’ and celebrate St Patricks Day, Kay decided to
wait until then to discuss her condition with her mother.
Early in the morning of March 17,1936 Kay arose to find that several
inches of snow had fallen overnight. Kay was anxious that they depart
soon, because it was a long journey and they must arrive at ‘Ma’s” before
the parade began, because the parade route and the IRC Southpark street-
car route were identical, and service on the IRC #16 tram would be sus-
pended for the duration of the march. Even if it continued snowing Kay
knew that there would be a parade, because no St Patrick’s Day had ever
been cancelled in Buffalo. She quickly made bacon and eggs for her hus-
band’s breakfast, got her son dressed in his snowsuit and galoshes, and
proceeded, with her bundled son, to trek the three blocks, over unshoveled
sidewalks, to West Avenue, where they took the Grant Street bus into
downtown Buffalo. There, they waited for thirty minutes, in the shelter at
Shelton Square, for the South Park streetcar, which would eventually
deposit them at her mother’s doorstep.
When Kay arrived at her homestead, the first thing that she saw was her
nephews, Tommy and Jimmy Griffin, engaged in a snowball fight with
some boys near Katherine Street. This wasn’t at all surprising since her
brother’s two boys practically lived with their grandmother. What startled
Kay was finding her brother Tom, his wife Helen and their new daughter
Donna, sitting at the kitchen table while ‘Ma’ Griffin fussed over the cast-
iron stove. Kay had never seen Helen in this house before! Kay then
recalled that when Helen had given birth to Donna, her third child, ‘Ma’
had announced that she had no objection to her grandsons using her home
as a clubhouse, but since Agnes was no longer available for babysitting
duties, there was to be no more ‘dumping the kids with Grandma’. Kay
was inwardly amused by the thought that while ‘Ma’ had expected that her
pronouncement would stop Helen from gallivanting, she hadn’t expected
that Helen would start haunting her kitchen. Then Kay saw her brother
Tommy coming toward her with his arms outstretched and a broad smile
on his face. “It’s so good to see you, darlin’ Kay! How have you been?”he
said quietly, and Kay felt welcomed.
As was his custom, Kay’s brother Jimmy, was marching with the
Knights of Columbus and would drop out of the ranks when the parade
reached 608 South Park Avenue. He then would join the rest of the family
in a meal of ham and cabbage, with mashed potatoes and biscuits, fol-
lowed by a slice of apple pie.
As it turned out, Ag and Bill Batt never arrived that day, for they were
unable to free their auto from the banked snow or to navigate the
unplowed Buffalo streets. This left Kay relatively free to have a heart-to-
heart, mother-daughter conversation with ‘Ma’. She got her chance when
she found herself alone with ‘Ma’ in the pantry, before the parade had
even arrived. Kay blurted out, “Ma, I’m going to have another
baby,—around Thanksgiving!” With pinched lips, ‘Ma’ gave her oldest
daughter a withering look as she responded, “Ah, that’s all you need!
Another mouth to feed!”. With that ‘Ma’ wheeled and returned to the
kitchen, ending all further discourse.
Almost immediately the sound of band music was heard and the entire
household donned their warmest coats and rushed to the curbside, where
they could best watch and wave at their neighbors and friends. The snow
continued to pelt down and it was difficult to recognize any of the boyos,
dressed in their derbys and green sashes, as they briskly slogged their way
up South Park Avenue, hurrying to find warmth and cheer at their favorite
pub. After about fifteen minutes, the KofC contingent arrived. Kay’s
brother Jimmy, his felt hat and woolen overcoat crusted with snow, with
his nose red and runny, broke from the ranks. He shouted to the family
members, “Everybody get inside, before we catch our deaths in this cold!”.
Kay winched as she realized that was indeed the way her Dad had died,
twenty-three years before.
Once inside ‘Ma’ prepared hot chocolate for the children and hot tea
for the adults. She grimaced as she watched her son Tom, and his wife,
each belt down two shots of Bushmills Irish Whiskey, in order to “ward
off the chill”. When dinner was finished it was time for Kay to leave for
home. But when she looked out the front window she saw that the snow
had continued and the wind had banked the snow in the middle of the
street where a thousand feet had trod only two hours before. That night,
Kay shared her mother’s bed and her son slept with his Uncle Jim, since it
was impossible for them to return home. 19 inches of snow had fallen dur-
ing the day of the parade and not an automobile nor trolley car used South
Park Avenue until the afternoon of March 18th.
Upon her return to her apartment Kay was determined to put all travail
behind her. She would take care of herself, her son and the new baby,
when he or she arrived. She would leave the question of how they were to
pay hospital costs and other family finances, as well as their need for larger,
and more suitable living quarters, to her husband, Tom. She wouldn’t
make any more exhausting trips to the store, or to her mother’s house,
until after her new baby’s birth and until she had regained her strength. In
this manner Kay was able to enjoy a carefree and comfortable summer.
One thing that had puzzled and disturbed Kay was that she had heard
that new public housing was going to be built at the foot of Porter Avenue.
It had been Kay’s hope that she and Tom could rent one of these new
apartments, at a price that they could afford, and with enough room for
their growing family. She had heard several neighborhood women speak-
ing of this new and desirable housing opportunity and it had seemed that
the Lakeview Housing Project was what the neighborhood, and families
like the Murphys, needed to get back on their feet. But when Kay had lis-
tened to her brothers discussing the Perry Housing Project, on South Park
Avenue, near Louisiana Street, all that she heard was that ‘Polacks’ would
be moving into the new housing and destroying the Old First Ward neigh-
borhood. There was no talk of benefiting the neighborhood, or of offering
assistance to the areas many needy familes,—only that the Irish ethnic
ambience would be destroyed as soon as ‘foreigners’ moved in. Kay was
troubled by the stark differences in attitude about public housing and now
she wasn’t sure that she wanted anything to do with the new West Side
development.
Then, in the autumn, things began to brighten a little. Tom came
home to report that Bill Provost, the grocer, had told him about a nice flat
that was for rent only two doors away from the Provost residence,—on
West Avenue, near where Tom and Kay had lived when they were first
married! Tom had already made a deposit on the place and they’d be able
to move into their new, and larger lodgings on January 1,1937. Tom also
said that he had made arrangements for their son to stay with Tom’s sister,
Margaret Ruh, and her family, while Kay was in the hospital giving birth
to their newest arrival.
This was a most pleasant surprise. Kay had known that Tom’s sister had
come to Buffalo, from ‘the Soo’, several years before, and had married a
German. Kay had never met Marg, but she was vaguely aware that there
were now several Ruh children and that they were living somewhere in
South Buffalo. Kay was particularly delighted that now she wasn’t going to
have to ask the Griffins for any assistance, since both ‘Ma’ and ‘Ag’ had
made it abundantly clear to her that neither of them were available for any
babysitting duties.
On November 20,1936 Kay gave birth to a beautiful little girl, Patricia
Ann. Catherine Sullivan and Jim Griffin were asked to be Patricia’s god-
parents, and the christening was held in Holy Angels Church shortly after
the beginning of the 1937 New Year.
There were serious complications during the natal operation. During
delivery, Kay’s fallopian tube entwined the fetus. Only quick, and expert
work by Dr Anthony Manzella had saved the life of both Kay and her
infant daughter. Afterward, the surgeon had warned Tom that any future
child bearing would be extremely hazardous for Kay. When Kay learned
that she had nearly died, she resolved that she wouldn’t put herself in
harm’s way, in that manner, ever again. When they moved into the lower
flat at 372 West Avenue, Kay shared the second bedroom with her chil-
dren and Tom had a bedroom all to himself.
After all of the moves, Kay appreciated the West Avenue neighborhood
far more than she had when she was first married, yet she had difficulty in
expressing her contentment. The Delaneys, with their two teen-aged boys,
lived quietly upstairs at 372 West, but Kay had little, if any, social inter-
course with these neighbors. The Kehoes, with three daughters, and the
O’Connors, with a son and a daughter, lived directly across the street, and
even though Kay’s son Tommy often crossed the street to play with these
children, Kay did little more than nod, or say a quiet hello, to the two Irish
mothers. At the corner of West and Porter Avenues, three large residences
were occupied by the families of Dr Christina, Dr Spano and Dr Parlato.
Kay had no contact with these young families whatsoever. Mr and Mrs
Salmon lived next door to Kay and Miss Slater, a widow, lived three doors
away. These senior citizens took a particular liking to Kay and her two
children, and through the years, offered many small kindnesses and con-
siderations to the young Murphy family. Kay would seldom express her
appreciation and rarely, if ever, reciprocated in any way.
However Kay was delighted to make the acquaintance of the grocer’s
wife,—Catherine Provost, who lived, with her husband and son Billy, only
two doors away. Both women were beautiful, but Mrs Provost, a few years
younger than Kay, complemented and enhanced Kay’s finer features.
Where Kay’s figure was always trim, Catherine had a body that was all
curves and bounced pleasantly whenever she moved. Kay was demure,
Catherine had a perpetual smile on her face and warmly invited the friend-
ship of all whom she met. Mrs Provost saw the humorous side of every
happenstance and Mrs Murphy enjoyed the company of people of good
humor. Here was a pair that was startling to watch and fun to be with, and
they seemed to be without rancor or mistrust.
During the next years, Buffalo’s economy remained stagnant. Consoli-
dated Aircraft left Buffalo and moved it’s offices and facilities to San Diego
CA. The Studebaker Company went into receivership, the president of the
company jumped to his death from his office window, and Ag and Bill
Batt became unemployed when the Studebaker auto production plant on

Elmwood Avenue closed. Buffalo Mayor George Zimmerman, indicted
for accepting graft payments from a sewer construction contractor, died of
a heart attack before his trial began. Kay’s brothers, Tommy and Jimmy,
continued to work full time as clerks. Construction activity continued to
flourish, as the stately Avery mansion, at Richmond and Porter Avenues,
was demolished to make way for the new Kleinhans Music Hall, and con-
struction of Memorial Auditorium began at the foot of Main Street. Jim
Murphy seemed to be making money ‘hand over fist’ and continued to
urge that his brother join him in the lucrative construction trade. But,
Tom had continued to receive extra assignments, seemed content with his
employment situation and showed no indication that he wished to change
occupations.
When, in 1940, Curtis Wright Corporation, began manufacturing the
P-36 Hawk and P-40 Warhawk fighter planes in the Town of Tonawanda
NY plant, and began to expand the workforce there, Jim Murphy quickly
accepted a position as production foreman and again extorted his brother,
Tom, to seek more gainful employment. Tom again refused, stating that
when Memorial Auditorium opened there would be a municipal hockey
league playing there and he had been promised that he would be hired
later in the year to referee weekend hockey games. Besides, Tom had
recently been introduced to Fred Muck, a Getzville NY Ford dealer. Mr
Muck had agreed to employ Tom as a part-time salesman and though
there was no salary involved, Tom would now have the use of a demon-
stration car whenever he needed transportation. Kay never complained
about the fact that Tom was seldom at home, but the fact that no matter
how many hours Tom worked, the Murphy family just couldn’t seem to
make ends meet, bothered her. The debts kept growing and there seemed
to be no relief in sight. She wanted to help in some way.
Then, in 1941, Kay got an opportunity to return to work at Beals,
McCarthy and Rogers, as a stenographer. At first, the work was part-time,
but Kay leapt at the chance. Before long, she was working full time, forty-
eight hours a week and loving every minute of it. Both of Kay’s children
were attending Holy Angels Parochial School full time so it was only nec-
essary for Kay to hire a teen-aged girl student to come over to the house
and watch the kids from 3PM until she returned from work at 6PM, on
school days. The sitter had to be on duty all day on Saturday to watch
Patricia, but Kay’s son Tom, spent his entire Saturdays at movie matinees,
easing the babysitter’s tasks. And while the family finances were slightly
improved by Kay’s employment, all social intercourse between Tom and
Kay suddenly ceased. Not only was Tom away from home most of the
time, working at Grover, teaching badminton or refereeing hockey games,
or socializing in his attempt to sell Fords, but Kay was exhausted at the
end of each day from her long workday and travel time. Most evenings
Kay was in bed and asleep before 9PM and rarely even saw her husband.
So it was refreshing when on a bright sunny, Sunday morning in May,
Catherine Provost hailed Kay on her way home from Mass, to invite Kay
to join her in having coffee and some pastry. But it was a solemn Cathe-
rine who told Kay that recently she had been walking in Arlington Place,
and had seen Kay’s husband, Tom, in a romantic dalliance with another
woman. Catherine also reported that on several other occasions she had
seen Tom’s Ford demo parked on the same street. Kay received the news
in outward calm, without hysterics or other signs of shock or dismay. She
was however surprised, for while Kay had known that Tom was extremely
attractive to other women, and that Tom enjoyed the attention of other
women, she had no inkling that Tom was a philanderer. Kay also knew
that Gen Garriety, a Grover teacher, had a flat on Arlington Place. But
what deeply distressed Kay more than anything else was the fact that her
best friend, Catherine Provost, now knew that Tom was a rake.
When Tom came home later in the day, Kay confronted him with what
she had heard, but she didn’t mention that he had been spotted on Arling-
ton Place. Tom immediately denied that he was engaged in any hanky-
panky, and he stated with earnest conviction that he never was, or ever
would be, romantically interested in another woman, and he explained
that someone might have misconstrued his attempt to sell a car to a female
customer as a romantic dalliance. Kay didn’t believe a word that he said,
but she didn’t tell him that! She only warned him that he must be more
discreet so that there wouldn’t be any more misunderstanding.
The very next Sunday, Kay boarded the Grant St bus and South Park
streetcar, along with her son and daughter, to celebrate Mother’s Day at
‘Ma’ Griffin’s house. At the first opportunity that Kay had to be alone
with her mother, she blurted,
“Ma, I’ve got trouble at home! My husband Tom is having an affair
with one of the teachers at the school where he works!”
Without looking up from her sewing “Ma” asked, “How do you
know?”
Kay began sniffling when she said, “My friend Catherine Provost saw
them kissing when Tom was leaving her apartment on Arlington Place,
but when I told Tom what Catherine had seen, he denied everything.”
“Does anyone else know?” “Ma” inquired, again without lifting her eyes
from her work.
“I don’t think so!” Kay sobbed.
“Well then, you’ll do nothing girl! And count yourself lucky!” With her
flinty eyes beaming “Ma” continued the tale that she had kept locked
inside her for many years. “How do you think that I put up with your
father for so many years? After your baby sister Mary died, may she rest in
peace with the angels, I said to your father that I had done my duty! I told
him that I’d had enough of his pawing and he could satisfy his dirty appe-
tites somewhere else, just so long as the neighbors and relatives didn’t
know about his carrying on!”
Kay gaped as her mother continued, “And that’s the way it was from
then on! He told me nothing about his sinning and I didn’t ask. We got
along beautifully until the day that he died! May the Lord have mercy on
his soul.”
As Kay rode the streetcar home that night, she suddenly realized that
‘Ma’ hadn’t addressed Kay’s plight in any way, but had simply related a
long suppressed personal hostility and had refreshed her own bitter past
memories. But Kay also reasoned that perhaps it was better that she not
discuss the issue of Tom’s infidelity with anyone else. She decided to keep
her own counsel and let nature take it’s healing course.
This strategy seemed to work,. Kay never mentioned Mrs Provost’s
comments to Tom again. Tom was now open, even garrulous, about his
social contacts but he avoided talking about workplace events, or fellow

employees. Catherine Provost seemed to have completely dismissed the
incident from her memory and the girl’s friendship continued to flow
along a carefree, pleasant path. And Kay didn’t confide her suspicions or
convictions to anyone else,—ever again.
Kay’s spirits brightened as the weather warmed, the clouds lifted, and
the summer months approached. Her main concern was finding a reliable
sitter for her two children, now that school vacation time meant that they
would be around the house all day while she worked at Beals. When the
doorbell rang, late in June, on a Sunday morning as Kay was getting the
children dressed to go to her mother’s house, she hoped that it was one of
the neighbors, seeking summer employment. She was surprised to find her
old nemesis, dressed in Easter finery, with a waxen smile pasted on her
face, standing in the doorway.
“Hello. I’m Gen Garriety. I work with your husband at Grover Cleve-
land. Is he home?”the visitor oozed.
“I know who you are! Tom’s not here!” Kay answered venomously.
Undaunted, the teacher continued coquettishly, “Well, I told Tom that
I would stop by someday, when I was in the neighborhood, and take his
children out for a ride and buy them ice cream cones.”
Kay’s civility and restraint were exhausted as she screamed, “If I ever see
your fat face in this neighborhood again, I’ll tear the hair out of your head
and stuff it down your ugly throat!”
The sound of the door slamming at 372 West Avenue could be heard in
the rectory of Holy Angels Church.
Kay was beside herself with humiliation. She instructed her children to
don some older clothes and to go out to play. She sat numbly on the living
room couch, silently awaiting Tom’s return from wherever he spent his
Sunday afternoons. As soon as he came in the front door, she poured forth
her anguish as she described Garriety’s brazen affront to his wife and fam-
ily.
Tom seemed nonplused as he stammered, “I don’t know why Gen is
acting that way. We discussed her meeting the kids someday,—but that
was a long time ago. Maybe she wanted to get to know them before she
met my parents.”
Kay gasped as if she had been punched in the stomach.”When is Gen
Garriety going to meet your parents?” she shrieked.
“Oh—I guess that I never mentioned that Gen and Helen McGowan
are going to vacation in Michigan this summer and are going to visit my
folks in the ‘Soo’.” Tom answered absently.
Kay spun out of control. She ranted and raved as if she were mad! She
threatened Tom She threatened to harm herself and her children, if Tom
allowed the meeting to take place. She threatened to kill Garriety when-
ever she saw her again! Tom finally calmed her and explained that the visit
to the ‘Soo’ wasn’t his idea, but that he had no control over where any two
teachers from Grover spent their summer vacation.
Kay then faced Tom squarely and said with steely resolve, “If I’m not
there when your mother meets Garriety, you’ll be sorry that you were ever
born!”
And thus, Kay Murphy (nee Griffin), got to visit Sault Ste Marie, Mich
for a third, and last time.
The hot July sun couldn’t temper the chill in the car as the Murphys
proceeded toward their rendevous with the two Grover Cleveland school
teachers. Every light-hearted comment, or attempt at humor, or casual
conversation by Tom was met by an icy stare, a harrumph, or a terse one
or two word response from Kay.
When the two groups met, and wordlessly approached the front door of
the Murphy homestead,
Kay felt as if her brain was about to explode! She could hardly hear, she
couldn’t speak and she was afraid that she would burst forth in tears and
agonized screams, at any moment.
Tom turned the handle of the front door doorbell. When his mother
opened the door, her face brightened as she recognized her son’s family,
and she said, “Kay, come on in!—It’s so good to see you!” Kay, speechless
as she held back her tears, extended her arms to her mother-in-law.
In her befogged brain she could faintly hear Tom say, “Mother, I’d like
you to meet some friends of mine.”
Mother Murphy moved to the red-eyed Kay, clasped the outstretched

hands in hers, and without turning to look at the new visitors, sternly
responded, “Tom, please ask your friends to leave my house immediately
and I never want you to bring such trash in here again!”
Tom reeled as if he had been punched, then stammered, “Perhaps you
girls had better leave.” As he ushered Gen and Helen out the door, he
muttered, “It’ll be all right! I’ll see you later.”
His mother then whirled and said furiously, “It will not be all right! I
should wallop you right here in front of your children for bringing those
trollops into my home! And if I ever hear that you’re hanging out with
‘that sort’ again I’d prefer that you didn’t come around here either!”
When Tom reentered the room he was confronted by a resolute woman
that he had never known existed. His mother said quietly, “Tom,—I’ve
had to put up with that kind of guff from your father for all of my life. But
you owe your grand lady, and your lovely children, a lot better life than
that! You’d better get your head on straight and stop fooling around or
you’re going to lose the only thing worth having in life—the respect of
your family!”
Kay began to sob audibly and Tom moved to her. He embraced his
small family, and said, “You’re right Mother! I’ve behaved like a fool.”
The motor trip returning to Buffalo saw a complete role reversal. Now,
Kay was humming and making cheery comments and observations.
Mother Murphy’s unreserved support had sanctioned her marriage to
Tom and had restored her capacity for serenity and joy. At last she felt that
her station in life had been established and that no man or woman could
ever challenge her respectabilty again. Throughout the return journey,
Tom was sullen, but compliant.
During the ensuing months, hard times in Buffalo were softened by
several events. Memorial Auditorium was opened and Tom received addi-
tional work assignments to referee municipal hockey games there on week-
ends. Kleinhans Music Hall, with it’s beautiful reflection pool, opened at
the corner of Porter and Richmond Avenues. Curtis-Wright continued it’s
expansion and Bell Aircraft occupied a large plant on Niagara Falls Blvd
and began an aggressive hiring program in anticipation of producing the
Bell Air Cobra pursuit plane, that would eventually be sent in large num-
bers to the Soviet Union.
Of course, not everyone in Buffalo finds relief from the woes of the
Great Depression. The Irish-American Savings and Loan Association,
where both ‘Ma’ and Jimmy Griffin had savings accounts, announced that
it had failed and closed it’s doors. Both Jim and ‘Ma’ lost their small sav-
ings. Ag and Bill Batt cannot find jobs and are threatened with eviction
from their small apartment. Ag tearfully asks her sister Kay if she and Bill
can stay with Kay’s family until Bill finds work, or they can find other suit-
able quarters. Kay answers that Tom wouldn’t allow Ag and Bill to move
in with him under any conditions, and the natural rift between Ag and
Kay is widened further.
Kay was puzzled by the world news. She kept reading in the newspa-
pers, and hearing on radio broadcasts, that the United States was provid-
ing assistance to Great Britain in their fight against the Germans. She
remembered that her mother had always hated anything ‘British’, because
of the atrocities they had committed against the Irish people, and that the
Sisters of the Sacred Heart had taught the pupils at St Bridget’s School
that the English were the evil root that had caused most of the worlds
problems. Then on Sunday, December 7,1941, Kay returned home from
attending a downtown movie theater with her two children, to learn on
the radio that the Japanese had attacked Pearl Harbor.
Kay didn’t have the foggiest notion of where, or what, Pearl Harbor
was, or who the Japanese were, but she presumed that this meant that
American boys would once again be sent to fight “over there” as they had
during her childhood. She immediately began to consider how this war
might personally affect her.
It didn’t seem that either her husband or her brother Tom would be
drafted because they each had several children. She hoped that her brother
Jim would be spared because he was the sole support of his mother.
Although Jim Murphy had only one child, he was engaged in war produc-
tion work and was probably too old for the draft anyway. Bill Batt had a
steel plate in his head, but he was younger than the other members of the
family, and childless. His going into the army not only would solve the
Batts’ housing problem, but Ag would then be free to give a hand with the
housework in the Griffin homestead. Kay decided that if Bill Batt was the
only one called into the armed forces, wartime wouldn’t be too bad.
Then on Thursday, December 11th, as Kay was getting the kids ready
for school, Clint Buelmann, the AM radio announcer, interrupted the
playing of his favorite record, “Big Rock Candy Mountain”, to tearfully
announce that Nazi Germany had declared war on the United States. He
broke in again just a few minutes later to announce that Italy had also
declared war on USA. Kay knew that this was serious and would make
changes in several people’s lives. The following weekend Jim Murphy
came to visit and he pleaded with Tom to join him in enlisting in the
Army so that they could both “see some of the action”. Tom dismissed the
idea as foolishness and later told Kay that he thought that Jim had had a
couple of drinks and was just “blowing off steam”. Kay surmised that Jim
was serious and that he was just “looking for the chance to get away from
Bea and Marlene”.
Indeed, the lives of many Buffalonians were altered by World War II.
Kay took her children to the corner of Connecticut Street and Prospect
Avenue, where they watched the boys in the 174th regiment of the NY
militia march from the Armory to do battle with the Axis forces. Young
men were drafted into the US Army, as soon as they finished their school-
ing, and ‘blue star’ service flags hung in the windows of homes in every
part of the City. Men and women flocked into the many local plants
engaged in war production manufacturing. All citizens were constantly
practicing air-raid alerts, with black-outs, war bond rallies, and blood
donation appeals, a common occurrence. Children purchased ‘war
stamps’, collected tin foil from discarded cigarette packs, tin cans, worn
tires, and old pots and pans, for the ‘war effort’. Butter, meat, shoes and
gasoline was rationed. And the plaint heard on radio and in the songs of
the day was that “a good man was hard to find” and “don’t sit under the
apple tree with anyone else but me!”.
Neither of Kay’s brothers were called for military service, nor was Bill
Batt. Her husband, Tom, remained at Grover and Kay wondered why he
didn’t seek higher paying employment, or at least something contributing
to the war effort. She also tired of hearing from Tom how embarrassed he
was when young women thought that he was 4F, or that there was some-
thing wrong with him because he wasn’t in uniform.
Then one day Tom proudly announced that he had passed an exam and
had been selected to serve in the US Border Patrol, a division of the Cus-
toms and Immigration Service. He was going to have to go to training
school in El Paso TX for a period of 13 weeks and then he would be
assigned duty, somewhere in the continental USA. Kay wasn’t disturbed
that she would be left alone to care for two children or that she would have
to continue to work as a stenographer six days a week. Lots of women were
being asked to make even bigger sacrifices than that. At least Tom
wouldn’t be sent to any dangerous war zone and Kay took some quiet grat-
ification from the fact that, at last, he was leaving “that bunch at Grover”.
The balance of 1942 was a blur of feverish activity and frugality for
Kay. Each day she had to rise early, prepare breakfast for her two children,
then immediately leave to catch the bus to go to work at Beals. She didn’t
return home until almost 6PM and then there was barely time to prepare a
simple dinner, do some basic housework, listen to a radio broadcast, and
then retire for a good night’s sleep in order to have the strength for the
next day’s identical routine. Tom’s salary during his training period was
not appreciably higher than it had been at Grover and when he received
his first duty assignment in Pensacola FL he had extra expenses associated
with living out of town, so Kay was forced to handle most of the family
household expenses from her Beals salary. Kay’s only relief from the daily
tedium was a weekly visit to her mother’s house each Sunday afternoon.
Then Tom called to announce excitedly that he had received another
job post. On January 1st he was being transferred to West Palm Beach FL,
and he gushed that since this was likely to be a permanent assignment, he
would be able to obtain living quarters in that city for the entire family.
Kay received the news with equanimity. She had never heard of any ser-
viceman’s wife being told that she had to move from her hometown in
order to be near her husband.
Kay realized immediately that while this news meant that the family’s
expenses would be reduced by maintaining one household instead of two,
that she would also have to give up her job at Beals and that if she didn’t
get a job in Florida, she would no longer have an income of her own.
Would she be able to find work in Florida,—and what would she be paid?
She wondered how uprooting the children from Holy Angels School
would affect their education,—she didn’t even know if there were Catho-
lic schools in Florida! She didn’t think that she would miss her family if
she moved from Buffalo,—she only saw the Griffins on Sundays anyway
and Jim and Bea rarely came around with Tom out of town,—but she
sensed that she might miss the Buffalo’s West Side. She had grown com-
fortable there, and with the fact that most of her neighbors ‘minded their
own business’. Would she find new neighbors as generous, and as caring,
as the Salmons, Miss Slater, or Catherine Provost, if she moved to Florida?
Kay had no enthusiasm or desire to take on any major change in her
life,—she knew that things could always be worse! She went along with
Tom on this move, without protest, because she simply didn’t have any
idea of how she could avoid moving to Florida.
On the evening of the departure, Jim and Bea took Tom and his family
out to dinner at Chef’s Restaurant, before taking them to the Central Ter-
minal to catch their train. While devouring a huge portion of spaghetti
and meat balls, Jim sheepishly announced that the previous week, after
consuming a lot of Irish whiskey, he had tried to enlist in both the US
Marines and in the Army. Both services had declined Jim’s offer on the
basis that he was too old to fight. Jim said that this had made him so angry
that he had enlisted in the Sea Bees, and they had been glad to get a man
with Jim’s savvy and experience. Bea’s facial expression of discomfort and
contempt, wordlessly confirmed Kay’s earlier diagnosis of marital malaise
in their Eggertsville home.
Kay happily boarded the train for Florida knowing that she wasn’t
going to have to deal with any further in-law discord.
4
Contentment—The Middle Years
Kay was excited as she entered the cavernous Buffalo Central Terminal
This was to be her first train ride, as well as her first experience of living
outside of Buffalo NY. It was Saturday evening yet the Terminal was abuzz
as wartime travelers hastened to catch their trains. Kay gasped when she
first saw the stuffed bison, which was pedestaled in the center of the mam-
moth concourse. It was the first time that she had seen the animal that rep-
resented her birth place and she had no idea that it was such a large beast.
However, train travel lacked the expected grandeur and glamour. After
leaving the concourse the four Murphys immediately entered a sleeping
car, which was parked at a siding. Kay directed her children into upper
berths, since there was no seating available, then she and Tom climbed
into separate lower berths. The family then traveled throughout the night
and when they awoke, it was Sunday morning and they were in the Wash-
ington DC. Since the connecting train to Florida wasn’t scheduled to leave
the station until 7PM, Kay and her two children decided to do a little
sight-seeing.
Kay knew that Washington was the nation’s capital city and that the
White House and Congress were located there, but she had little interest
in visiting these institutions. Nor did she know how to find the Lincoln
Memorial, or Washington Monument, or the Georgetown neighborhood,
and she had no desire to see these tourist mecca, even if she knew where
they were. She, and her children took a bus into the city’s downtown area.,
but when she arrived there she found that the Sunday Blue Laws were in
effect.
With the department stores, and other shops in the small downtown
area closed, Kay decided to see a movie. The first two theaters had SRO
72
Contentment—The Middle Years 73
signs in the lobby, and Kay and her two children eventually attended the
only movie house with available seating. The three of them watched
“Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman”, starring Lon Chaney Jr. Kay was morti-
fied, her daughter Patricia fussed throughout the movie, and Tommy, her
son, thoroughly enjoyed the ‘horror flick’.
Next, the trio enjoyed a grilled cheese sandwich, and chocolate milk
shake, at a drugstore soda fountain, before rejoining Tom at the Washing-
ton train depot. The family then boarded another sleeping car, climbed
into their berths, and slept until they arrived in Florida on Monday morn-
ing. Kay didn’t find much excitement, or enjoyment, in traveling by train.
It took the moving van, with their household goods and furniture, two
full weeks to catch up to the Murphys. They took advantage of the lapse
by vacationing in a tourist cabin in Riviera FL until they could furnish
their rental apartment in West Palm Beach. Their initial impression of
Florida as a wartime outpost was reinforced as US Navy blimps constantly
patrolled off-shore, searching for German U-boats, and the entire commu-
nity practiced brown-out routines after sundown.
Once the furniture arrived the family settled into a comfortable single
family home, complete with three bedrooms, an enclosed screened porch,
and a car port. The home, at 311 31st Street, was on a block that was only
partially developed, and overgrown vacant lots clearly outnumbered occu-
pied properties. There were few nearby neighbors. In the evening, one
could hear the Atlantic Ocean surf pounding the shore, less than a half-
mile away. Tom had purchased a gardenia plant, which he placed on the
front door stoop, so that the house and porch were filled with it’s delicate
aroma. It was, by far, the nicest home that Kay had ever lived in.
Almost immediately, life in Buffalo seemed a distant memory. The
harsh, winter winds and snow had miraculously turned into balmy breezes
and sunshine. Winter coats and galoshes were replaced by sun dresses and
sandals. Where once Kay had watched as the chestnut trees on Porter Ave-
nue dropped their inedible nuts to the ground and the autumn leaves
turned from green to orange and red, now each street was lined with
unchanging palm trees, each laded with coconuts, which dropped to the
ground only when the softball-sized nut was filled with rich milk and deli-
cious meat. Several waterway overpasses, or crossroad corners, featured

vendors selling shrimp, at 10 cents a bucket, for bait. Nearby Currie Park
offered swings, seesaws, and a sandy beach for the amusement of Kay’s
daughter, Patricia, and shuffleboard courts where her son, Tommy, could
wile away hours playing shuffleboard with his mother, or senior citizens,
or just practicing his stroke. Kay continued to be averse to swimming and
to all threatening waters. She constantly cautioned her children against the
dangers present in the nearby ocean.
Other differences from Buffalo sometimes discomforted and disheart-
ened Kay. There was no neighborhood grocer, or meat market, or drug
store. There was only one Catholic Church, and one Catholic school, in
the entire city. St Ann’s was located almost four miles from Kay’s home,
and although it was a very pleasant stroll along N. Flagler Drive to attend
Sunday Mass, it was simply too far to travel for daily Mass, or confession,
or attendance at novenas. And now it was necessary for Patricia and
Tommy to take a bus each day, in order to arrive in time for morning
classes at St Ann’s School. Compared to Buffalo’s bustle, West Palm Beach
was a sleepy, southern hamlet. There was nothing familiar about the small
downtown area,—it didn’t have any tall buildings,—there was no Ellicott
Square Building, no Hengerers department store, no Memorial Audito-
rium, no Liberty Bank Building,—and the entire town had only one
movie house! As far as Kay could see, the only vibrant business in the com-
munity was Morrison Field, a US Army Air Corps base, where planes, sup-
plies and personnel were being ferried to Allied forces fighting in
Tunisia,—and Kay didn’t know where to look for work!
Life at home had fallen into a humdrum routine. Weekdays, the chil-
dren went to school, and Tom left for work, or slept, if he had been work-
ing a night shift or overtime ‘special assignment’. This left Kay alone, to
do some moderate housework, clean breakfast dishes, wash clothes, and
iron uniform shirts. Kay had never taken any pleasure from household
chores and now, more than ever, she longed for holidays, or Tom’s time
off from work, when they could spend some time together and enjoy the
Florida weather and entertainment facilities. But, she soon came to realize
that Tom’s affinity for playing poker had grown to obsessive proportions
since he had entered government service. Each of his day’s off from work
was spent playing, what seemed to Kay to be, high-stakes poker, with fel-
low Border Patrol officers. The game was usually played at their home,
where the stench of cigarette smoke and stale beer drove the gardenia scent
from the rooms. More and more on ‘poker day’, she would greet Tom’s
co-workers as they arrived and exchange quips and pleasantries with some
of the men who originally lived in the New England area. But as soon as
the beers were opened, and the cards dealt, all of the players concentrated
on the game, and all opportunities for small talk vanished. Usually, Kay
then left her smoke filled residence to stroll down to Currie Park, where
she would sit on a park bench, until she was joined by her two children,
following their school day. It seemed to Kay that she didn’t see Tom any
more often now than when he was stationed in Texas and she was living in
Buffalo
While Kay now had the time and the resources to experiment with new
food recipes, she generally confined her cooking to those dishes that she
had learned from her mother. But using an oven in the Florida heat, added
to Kay’s discomfort, so that she seldom baked pies, or ham. Lamb stew,
pot roast, broiled chicken, or tuna casserole, accompanied by mashed
potato and canned vegetable, remained the staple ‘big meal’. Tom liked
tomato-based meals, but Kay didn’t like tomatoes, and therefore she
refused to add them to any dish. The abundance of fresh seafood didn’t
foster culinary contentment either. While Kay could enjoy eating fish, she
didn’t enjoy cooking ‘that smelly stuff’, and she absolutely refused to try to
learn how to clean or fillet any ‘fresh catch’. But Tom was seldom home
for dinner anyway. For the most part, Kay only had to prepare dinnertime
meals for herself and her children. It was easy to satisfy the children’s appe-
tites,—Patricia absolutely loved canned Franco-American Spaghetti, and
Tommy would eat anything except—Franco-American Spaghetti!
And finally,—Kay missed Catherine Provost! She had no confidante!
There was no one to share good times or lonesome times with,—or to tell
one’s troubles to! But Kay didn’t complain, for she knew that things could
always be worse!
More and more, Kay found herself turning to her son, Tommy, for
companionship, and sometimes—for advice or guidance. Of course,
Tommy was an ideal playmate and ‘sitter’ for his four years younger sister,
but more and more Kay found that she was more comfortable with her son
at her side when she was shopping, or going to the movies, or just relaxing.
And her son was smart! He knew all about the war that was being fought
in North Africa and in the Pacific. He was always reading something, and
could tell Kay about the latest movies, or sport events, or local news. Trav-
eling to and from downtown each day while attending school, he became
familiar with the city’s various neighborhoods, and seemed to know where
it was safe, and where it was best not to travel.
One day, Tommy mentioned that he would like to see a British war
movie, “In Which We Serve” that was playing in the Palm Beach movie
house. Kay replied that she had never been to Palm Beach and had no idea
of how one would get there. Tommy responded that a bus left
Okeechobee Blvd. on the hour, crossed the causeway into Palm Beach and
deposited it’s passengers only one block from the local movie house. Kay
was astonished that her son knew so much about the local transportation
system, and that he knew anything about Palm Beach FL.! She agreed that
they would attend the movie on the following Sunday.
When the bus passed over the causeway and entered Palm Beach, Kay
couldn’t believe her eyes. It was a more beautiful community than she had
ever dreamed existed. There were rows of mansions, with stone walls cir-
cumscribing manicured lawns and sculptured shrubbery. Each street and
boulevard was lined with gigantic Hawaiian palm trees which sheltered
residents from both rain showers and bright sunshine. In the very small
commercial area, there was a small movie theater and a few small
shoppes,—an ice cream parlour, a chic dress shop, jewelry store and a for-
mal restaurant,—each one pristine and exuding expensive tastes. Kay felt
as if she had been transported to a different planet. She had no conception
of what it was like to live in a community like this. She only knew that she
was extremely uncomfortable even visiting a community like this! The
small group watched the movie, then immediately boarded the bus that
would return them from the alien land.
During the ride home, Kay mused about the contrast between the ele-
gance that she had just seen and the place where she had been born and
raised,—Buffalo’s Old First Ward. She yearned to again walk the treeless
streets, under an overcast sky and to visit cottages with only a small side
yard and no grassy lawn to mow or rake. She missed going to the local del-
icatessen, where the proprietress knew your name and where you could
purchase bologna, salami, liverwurst or a dozen other types of sausage, a
quart of milk and a loaf of bread,—without standing in line. Kay wanted
the opportunity to choose between five downtown movie houses, and to
see a stage review, if she liked. It had been fun to ride a streetcar and be
able to shop at J N Adams, AM&A, and Hengerer department stores. Kay
was homesick!—and she missed going to work each day!
When the trio returned home that evening, they found Tom sitting on
the front porch, with a bottle of beer in his hand. Kay immediately noticed
the forlorn expression on Tom’s face and she asked what had happened.
Tom’s choked response was that he had received word that he was to be
transferred again! The Murphy family was being sent back to Buffalo NY!
Kay did her best to console Tom, by assuring him that this was probably
another temporary assignment and that a new permanent post would be
offered to him within a few months. She completely suppressed the giddi-
ness that pervaded her whole being,—the delight that she was going home
again! And she made an unspoken vow that she was never again going to
live anywhere but in her hometown!
Tom was assigned a government car and given ten days travel time to
move his family back to New York State. He decided that this was an
opportunity for the entire family to visit the unfamiliar eastern coastal
States. A languid motor trip, with stops in Georgia, Virginia, Maryland,
and Gettysburg PA, confirmed in Kay’s mind that anything that she
wished to do, —Buffalo was the best place in which to do it!
The Murphys found that Buffalo had changed a little bit during their
Florida sojourn. Everyone seemed to be working in a defense plant, buses,
stores, movies and the street were a little more crowded, there were more
scarcities, wages had gone up, but everything else had increased in price, as
well. Every business seemed to be advertising for new employees.
Tom had rented a large lower flat on Blaine Avenue, near Delevan Ave-
nue, on Buffalo’s north side of town. It was a nice neighborhood, just two
blocks from stately Humboldt Parkway. Canisius College was located
another two blocks away, but in a different direction. Grocery stores, meat
markets, bakeries, pharmacies, and a giant Sears Roebuck store were
within easy walking distance of the Blaine Avenue address. Kay enrolled
the children in St Vincent’s Parochial School. Even though there were
good paying jobs in the immediate neighborhood, Kay chose to reapply
for her old job at Beals, McCarthy, & Rogers. This job required that Kay
take both a bus and a streetcar to and from work each day, yet rather than
venture out among new tasks, new bosses, and new fellow employees, she
chose the more familiar work environment. Kay also appreciated the fact
that her son, Tommy, had matured greatly in the past six months, and was
now perfectly capable of tending to his younger sister, in Kay’s absence.
Tom was stationed at the front of Ferry Street, looking for contraband
and aliens among the automobiles and passengers using the ferry boat to
cross the Niagara River between Fort Erie, Ontario and Buffalo NY. There
were two popular fish eateries, “Roy’s” and “Sargent’s” located at the foot
of Ferry Street, as well as the ferryboat station. These two restaurants spe-
cialized in Lake Erie fish dishes,—yellow perch, bass and northern
pike—and on Friday nights had lines of 30 to 40 people waiting in line
outside their doors, even in rain, sleet, or snow, in order to get a table. It
delighted Kay when she and Tom could by-pass the line of waiting cus-
tomers and be immediately seated because the owners of both establish-
ments liked her husband, Tom, and recognized the importance of the
Border Patrol officer.
However, the return to Buffalo didn’t appreciably change Tom’s Flor-
ida habits. There was a long term poker game held at the home on Blaine
Avenue, whenever he had a day off from work. The names had
changed,—Burke, Mulderick, Tubridy, and Millidge were now Tom’s fel-
low workers, and these men became Tom’s social milieu,—they bowled
together, played softball, poker and drank together and greatly enjoyed
each other’s company. Kay had no evidence of the presence of a Gen Gar-
riety, or Helen McGowan, or anyone of that ilk, and she was comfortable
with the thought that Tom’s days of public pursuit of romance were
behind him.
Occasionally, Tom and Kay would socialize with Tom’s co-worker Jack
Mulderick, and his wife Fran, and over the years the relationship ripened
into a fast friendship. Kay particularly enjoyed the company of Fran, who
had been born in Ireland and peppered her jovial wit with a large dose of
practicality. Tom had also struck up an acquaintanceship with Vince
Quinlan, a detective on the Buffalo Police force. The Quinlans lived on
Humboldt Parkway, only two blocks from the Murphy’s home on Blaine
Avenue. Mrs Quinlan, Bern, loved to play penny-ante poker, and in Kay’s
eyes was the spitting image of Bea Murphy. Both women were attractive
blondes and expressed sardonic witticisms at every opportunity. Kay also
learned to love to play penny-ante poker, but what she could never learn to
do,—was to lose graciously! She hated to lose,—at poker,—at bingo,—at
a punch-board in the corner grocery store. The amount of the loss wasn’t
important, even losing a dime at poker would send Kay into a rage, or
cause an evening—long pout. Kay however, was extremely gracious when
she won, always attributing her victory to her opponents ‘bad luck’, and
only wordlessly congratulating herself for her own adroitness.
While they lived in Florida, Jim Murphy had been assigned work over-
seas with the ‘Seabees’ and since Tom and Kay were without a personal
automobile, they saw very little of Bea or Marlene Murphy during 1943-
44. Kay’s sister, Agnes, was still miffed over Tom’s refusal to grant them
shelter when they without housing during ‘the Great Depression’, and the
two young ladies rarely spoke civilly to each other. Nor did Kay visit her
mother, and the Griffins, as much as she had in the past. Now, in order to
visit ‘Ma’s’, Kay, and her children, had to take a Delevan Avenue bus,
transfer to a Main Street streetcar, then at Shelton Square switch to the
South Park streetcar. The trip took at least one-half hour more of riding,
and waiting for public transportation, than any previous visit to the First
Ward had. At times, it seemed to Kay that she had spent the better part of
her life in the shelter at Shelton Square, waiting for a bus, or a streetcar.
There was a shorter, more direct route to the First Ward from Blaine
Avenue. Kay could have taken the Jefferson Avenue bus from Sears Roe-
buck, cross town to Hamburg Street and South Park Avenue, but this
would have entailed traveling through the very heart of Buffalo’s Negro
neighborhood. But Kay had never met, or associated with any ‘colored’
persons, and the very thought that she and her children could be alone on
some bus, surrounded by people of a different skin color, traveling in an
alien culture, terrified her. She never even considered taking the shorter
route. Rather than subject her children to danger, she chose to either
spend the extra hour in travel, or to simply stay at home on Sundays.
But each day, Kay grew more comfortable in her life. Everyone in the
family enjoyed good health and “the kids were doing well in school”. She
lived in a fine neighborhood, and worked with people that she knew and
trusted. Tom earned good wages and the family was never ‘in need’ of
life’s essentials. Kay enjoyed the company of her new friends, as much as
she enjoyed the solitude that the neighborhood provided her when she
desired privacy. She had learned that “the grass was not always greener”
when she and Tom had moved to the lovely community of West Palm
Beach. She had not been comfortable living in Florida, and she was glad to
be ‘home’ again.
Kay also knew that ‘good times’ don’t last forever. So she wasn’t sur-
prised when Tom told her that the landlords wanted to repossess the flat
on Blaine Avenue, and that the Murphy family was going to have to move
again. Tom expressed some anger and disappointment at the abruptness
with which the landlord had taken this action and he explained to Kay
that he had taken steps to see that the family wasn’t going to be abruptly
uprooted again. He had made a down payment on a home of their own!
Tom had purchased a three family home on Coe Place, a cozy street, run-
ning off Main Street, in a sedate, older neighborhood, in Midtown Buf-
falo. He explained to Kay that he had worked out the financing, so that
the rental income on the second floor of the home would pay off the prin-
cipal of the mortgage, while the Murphy’s housing costs would be no
more than they had spending for rent. And no one could tell them that
they had to move again! Without complaint, but without much enthusi-
asm either, Kay began preparations to move into the new quarters in Janu-
ary 1944.
First she had to see her new home! On Sunday she, and her two chil-
dren, visited their new neighborhood. Even though Kay had taken the #8
streetcar each day to work, she had never noticed Coe Place. She was told
that it was a street off Main Street, between W. Utica and Best Streets In
the past,. Kay had only noticed that this stretch of Main Street was mostly
automobile showrooms, which were now empty, since no cars were being
produced in the USA during the War. The trio got off the trolley at Main
and Barker Streets. As she got to the curb, Kay could see all the way down
Barker Street, to Delaware Avenue where Barker Street terminated. She
could see the gracious apartment house at the corner of Barker and Lin-
wood Avenue, the tall Elm trees on Linwood Ave., and she could see sev-
eral stately Delaware Avenue mansions. It was a nicer neighborhood than
she had expected.
When she turned in order to locate Coe Place, she became confused.
She first saw “Ryan’s Pharmacy”, a small neighborhood drug store. There
seemed to be an alley alongside the drugstore and then there was a large
expanse of land, with trees, some debris and a partial building foundation,
no grass, but much overgrown brush. It appeared that some time ago, a
large residence had been demolished and the vacant lot had been unat-
tended since the razing. Kay crossed Main Street, intending to ask the
druggist if he knew where Coe Place was. She looked up to see that what
had appeared to be an alley was in fact, the street named Coe Place. Kay
had never seen anything like it! This was truly, “the other side of the
tracks”. The width of the street pavement, measured from curb to curb,
was fifteen feet. It didn’t seem possible to Kay that any automobile could
use the street if another car was parked at the curb, and there were cars
parked along the length of the block On the north side of the street was a
row of two and a half story residences, with no side, front or back yards.
The homes, with their small front porches abutting the narrow sidewalk.,
seemed to be the scarp of a five story windowless brick wall which loomed
behind them. The south side of Coe Place consisted of a row of similarly
constructed residential structures, with porches abutting the sidewalks, but
with small rear and side yards. All of the homes seemed shabby and old.
The entire length of Coe Place was one short block, from Ellicott Street to
Main Street, and when viewed from either Main Street, or from Ellicott
Street, Coe Place seemed to be no more than a cleft in the urban
scape,—inert and without charm. Kay couldn’t understand how Tom had
chosen this particular location for their home.
Kay’s distress intensified when she entered 35 Coe Place, her new
home. The lower flat, the future living quarters for the Murphy family,
was smaller than ‘Ma’ Griffin’s cottage in the Old First Ward! There was a
small living room, a small dining room, an average sized kitchen, a minis-
cule bathroom, and two bedrooms. Kay immediately determined that
Tom, who snored heavily and often worked an evening shift, would sleep
in the smaller, front bedroom which adjoined the dining area and which
was closer to the bathroom. She wouldn’t mind sharing the larger, rear
bedroom with her two children.
The building’s second floor offered another surprise! The tenants of the
two small apartments were expected to share an extremely small bathroom,
which was located in an outer hallway at the top of the stairway! Tears
welled up inside Kay when she thought of living in this house, but she
resolved that she would hide her dissatisfaction from Tom. The family had
to have a place to live, this deal couldn’t be undone, and she had learned to
“do your best with what you’ve got”. 35 Coe Place was Kay’s new home!
When Kay visited her mother on the following Sunday, she announced
that she and Tom had purchased a home and were expecting to move
shortly after Christmas. While Kay was describing her new neighborhood,
her sister Agnes piped up, —“My brother-in-law, Howard and his family,
live over that way,—on Coe Place! But Bill and I never visit them because
we don’t think that the neighborhood is safe!”
Kay was livid, but she retorted coolly, —“Well, we live on Dodge
Street!—and that’s a very safe neighborhood!” She was immediately sorry
that she had blurted out a disprovable falsehood, but the statement was
intractable. Kay simply never mentioned her address again and dropped all
further discussion of her new home, while she was in the Griffin house-
hold.
Two additional shocks awaited Kay after she moved into the home. The
first was that she now lived immediately next door to Ag’s in-laws, the
Howard Batt family! The second was that the assistant pastor at Our Lady
of Lourdes Church was—Father David Roche, who had performed the
marriage rites at Nativity Church! Kay neither acknowledged the presence
of, nor spoke to, either party, as long as she lived on Coe Place.
As Kay became more familiar with her neighborhood, she found that it
was a safe, working class area, with bakeries, meat markets, and delicates-
sens, nearby. The only notable inconvenience was the absence of any large
supermarket, where staples could be purchased. The closest Loblaw’s was
located at Main and Carlton Streets, more than six city blocks away.
Our Lady of Lourdes RC Church (known as ‘the French parish’) was
within easy walking distance from Coe Place. In January 1944, Kay’s two
children, Patricia and Tommy, were enrolled in their fourth parochial
school in two years, Our Lady of Lourdes. Class sizes were extremely
small, and often the teachers, St Joseph’s nuns, were required to combine
two classes,(ie) fourth and fifth grades, into a single classroom. The fre-
quent changes didn’t seem to damage either child’s performance at school,
or to negatively impact their social graces, so Kay felt comfortable continu-
ing to work at Beals..
The Porter-Best bus ran from the front door of Lourdes Church to the
front door of Holy Angels Church, and on any given Sunday, Kay could
have effortlessly visited her dear friend, Catherine Provost,—but Kay
never bothered. Also, Kay’s trips to visit her mother became infrequent.
Kay frequently saw her brothers downtown, her brother, ‘Rocko’, at work
almost every day, and she often ran into her other brother, Jimmy, during
lunch hour, at the cafeterias located in the Prudential or Brisbane Build-
ing(s). On Sundays in the summer, her brother Jimmy either attended
MUNY baseball games or Buffalo Bison baseball in Offermann Stadium,
or in the winter months he went to Buffalo Bison AHL Hockey games at
Memorial Auditorium. So, whenever Kay bothered to make the trek to
South Park Avenue, she found only her spiteful sister, Agnes, and her hus-
band, Bill Batt, in attendance. Kay couldn’t be bothered spending her only
day off from work quarreling with her sister!
Instead, Kay often asked her son, Tommy, to escort her and Patricia to
a nearby downtown movie theater. The trolley fare was ten cents for adults
and three cents for children under 12. Kay would have to argue on each
trolley trip that her son, although nearly six feet tall, was under the chil-
dren’s age limit. The cost of admission for Sunday matinees at downtown
theaters was 25 cents for adults, and 15 cents for children. Kay often had
to repeat her arguments at the box office, but she, and her children, were
usually able to see a first-run movie, and a stage show, without spending
more than one dollar for the entire day. On days that Tom was refereeing
MUNY hockey games in the Aud, Kay might treat the trio to dinner at
Laube’s Old Spain Restaurant, after the movie. Kay didn’t enjoy ‘war
movies’ so that the movie fare usually consisted of musicals or comedies.
She thought that “Going My Way”, with Bing Crosby, was one of the best
movies ever! Bob Hope in “Princess and the Pirate” and Betty Grable in
“Coney Island” and the escapades of Abbott and Costello, provided relief
from the serious war news coming from Europe and the South Pacific. In
the evening, Kay could laugh along with Jack Benny, Fred Allen, Amos
and Andy, and Charley McCarthy on radio, before retiring in preparation
for another six-day work week.
From what Kay saw in the movie newsreels, and read in the Buffalo
Evening News, the war in Europe seemed to be coming to it’s end. Fol-
lowing the D-Day invasion during the summer, one battlefield success
after another was reported until finally there was talk that the “boys will be
home right after Christmas”. Kay wondered what would happen when all
the soldiers returned home and began looking for work. But then in
December 1944, the German army counter attacked and it appeared that
the Allied forces might be ousted from Europe one more time. Then, in
January, the German advances ran out of steam, the Allied forces resumed
their march toward Berlin, and optimistic predictions that ‘peace is at
hand’ were heard once more. Kay was at work on April 12th, when she
heard the news that President Roosevelt had died. She was stunned! It had
seemed that FDR was the only president America ever had, or would ever
need. Kay couldn’t imagine what things would be like with a new man as
US President.
On May 8, 1945, the Diocese of Buffalo hosted a ‘Conclave of Bish-
ops’. Kay was attending early Mass at Our Lady of Lourdes Church, when
Father Roche interrupted the rite to announce from the pulpit that Ger-
many had surrendered! Kay was attending the movie”The Bells of St Mary”,
with her children, on August 6th when the announcement was made that
an A-Bomb had destroyed the Japanese city of Hiroshima. Less than one
month later, Japan surrendered and World War II was over. Tom Murphy
received word that he had been reassigned to Newark NJ and was ordered
to report for work in that city on January 2,1946. Curtis-Wright’s Buffalo
plant reduced it’s workforce from 40,000 to just 5500 employees at the
end of 1945.
Tom and Kay agreed that it would be folly for the entire family to move
to Newark. First of all, selling Coe Place in order to rent an apartment in
Newark seemed impractical. Secondly, Kay didn’t want to give up her job
at Beals,—she was afraid that she’d never get it back. Finally, it had
become apparent that the policy of the US Border Patrol was to transfer
agents to a new post every six months. They discussed whether Tom
should look for another job, but then decided that with the flood of ex-
GI’s now looking for work, it was best to hold onto what they were certain
of and wait until a better job opportunity came along. Kay comforted
Tom when she said, “We’ll get through this. We’ve gotten through worse
before.”
Before long, the auto showrooms on Main Street were filled with shiny
new models. Appliance stores, like Delgato’s and Meyers, seemed to spring
up in every neighborhood. The absence of rationing revealed an abun-
dance of meat, butter, shoes, tires and gasoline. The IRC began replacing
it’s fleet of electric trolley cars with new busses. But the postwar peace in
1946 also produced some turmoil. Unemployment in Buffalo reached epi-
demic proportions, with 80,000 workers out of work. Affordable housing
was in extremely short supply. Then, in March of that year, Tom was
forced to resign from the US Border Patrol, rather than face a disciplinary
hearing. He returned to Buffalo and was fortunate to find temporary
employment as night watchman, at the nearby Packard automobile show-
room and warehouse. In June, Tom answered a newspaper ad, was hired as
a salesman for Sonnenborn&Sons, a national paint manufacturer, and
purchased his first automobile—a Studebaker. His first action, after his
hiring, was to take Kay and the family on a motor trip to Canada, where
they visited the Shrine of St Joseph in Montreal, and the Basilica of Sainte
Anne de Beaupre in Quebec City. Kay was extremely uneasy among the
French speaking Canadians, but that didn’t prevent her from fervently
praying that Tom would find success in his new venture. Tom’s second
action was to ask Kay to give up her position as a stenographer at Beals, in
order to perform the clerical duties and handle the administrative details of
his new position. Kay thought it best that she retain her job, which would
provide the family with income until they were sure that Tom would suc-
ceed in a new, untried, occupation, but she never expressed these reserva-
tions, and cheerfully acceded to Tom’s request. Lastly, Tom told his son
that the family’s financial situation was precarious, everyone would be
asked to make sacrifices, and it was doubtful that they could afford to pay
any private high school tuition in September. Kay noticed that this pro-
nouncement was received in stony silence.
During October, ‘Ma’ Griffin became gravely ill. Kay’s sister, Ag, called
to ask for assistance in doing the housework at the First Ward homestead
and providing the nursing that their mother now required. Kay had to
answer that she was unable to devote any time to the care of ‘Ma’ since she
was responsible for answering the business phone at home, and could only
leave the premises for very short periods of time. Ag erupted, and after a
heated and bitter exchange of words, hung up the phone. It was to be the
last conversation between the two Griffin sisters. Decades of silence fol-
lowed. ‘Ma’ Griffin died the following March, without ever seeing her
daughter, Kay, again.
Kay was a stoic presence at her mother’s funeral. It was not as if she had
lost a close friend. ‘Ma’ had a brittle personality, and her lack of warmth
had kept everyone at a safe distance. Kay had not seen her as an ailing,
dependent woman and she only remembered the brusqueness with which
her mother had ‘minded her own business’. At the graveside, her mind
wandered as she recalled that the previous years had seen several deaths on
the Murphy side of Kay’s family,—Tom’s brother Jack had died suddenly,
leaving his widow, Alma to care for four young children,—Tom’s father
had passed on with little mourning or fanfare,—and Mother Murphy’s
blind sister, Aunt Min, had finally succumbed to the maladies that had
afflicted her in her senior years. Kay hadn’t seen any of these people for
several years before their death, and wartime travel restrictions had pre-
vented Kay from attending any of the funerals, but now Kay wondered
how Mother Murphy had coped with the loss of her loved ones,—and
who would care for her mother-in-law if, and when, she needed assistance?
Jim Murphy had returned home and the war and once again assumed a
supervisory position with Stimm Construction Co. Occasionally, Tom
and Kay would visit Jim’s Eggert Road home and the two couples would
visit over a game of penny-ante poker. Tom’s friend, Jack Mulderick, had
resigned from his Border Patrol position at the end of World War II and
returned to his family’s shoe business in Massachusetts. The Muldericks
kept in touch with Tom and Kay after they left the area, but none of
Tom’s other former co-workers continued social contact with Tom and
Kay after Tom left government service. Tom was now traveling on busi-
ness throughout New York State and his new social milieu consisted of
business contacts. Paul Gleason and Gertie Webb, staffers of Sonnen-
born’s New York City headquarters, took a liking to Tom and visited Tom
and Kay on several occasions. Tom’s new ‘best friend’ was Dan Moynihan,
a Jamestown NY hardware dealer and Kay enjoyed visiting, and being vis-
ited by, this boisterous, fun-loving Irishman. Tom had also joined “The
Knights of Equity”, an Irish social club, (He said that it was for business
reasons), and Kay loved to go down to the clubhouse with Tom, where
there was music for dancing, beer drinking, and as much story telling as
one could stand. She never was able to overcome her shyness at meeting
people that she didn’t know well, but she had learned that she could dis-
guise her shyness, and her lack of education, with smiles and good-natured
quips.
Kay was a regular churchgoer, she always attended Mass on Sundays
and on Holy Days of Obligation and she often participated in Novenas.
But she took no part in the parish activities at Our Lady of Lourdes
Church, nor did she engage in any neighborhood social activities. She
never joined the Lourdes Altar and Rosary Society or the Sodality. She
rarely attended functions at the children’s school and wasn’t comfortable
even talking with the nuns at Lourdes. Kay felt as though they were ‘talk-
ing down’ to her. But, when she and Tom attended Parents Night at her
son’s High School, St Joe’s Collegiate, she found the Christian Brothers to
be a regular bunch of ‘guys’, with no one displaying a ‘superior’ attitude,
and she enjoyed the repartee and the congeniality of the group. She didn’t
mingle with her children’s friends, nor with the parents of her children’s
friends. And although a widow, Mrs Webber, who lived nearby, took a
fancy to Kay’s daughter Patricia, and used to visit Kay to deliver cookies
and small gifts, Kay formed no fast friendship with anyone living on Coe
Place or in Our Lady of Lourdes parish.
Tom’s sales work meant that he had to be ‘on the road’ each day. He
spent several nights each month ‘out of town’ and rarely finished his work
day in time to have dinner with his family. Therefore, Kay was confined to
her home, with it’s office telephone and clerical responsibilities, most of
the time. She missed working at Beals. In particular she missed being in
the downtown area, with it’s activity and bustle. Since she know longer
saw her brothers during the work week, her only contact with the Griffin
family became the occasional telephone call that she received from her
brother, Jimmy. They discussed recent movies and ‘sports’. He reported
that he was still playing handball regularly at the Knights of Columbus,
and that he had recently won several city-wide handball championships.
He also indulgently reported that ‘Rocko”s two boys were ‘real hellions’,
and that the younger of Kay’s nephews, Jimmy, had dropped out of high
school at the end of his sophomore year and was now working as a ‘grain
scooper’ on the docks.
One day, almost as an afterthought, Kay’s brother, Jimmy, mentioned
at the end of one telephone conversation, “Oh yes, Helen (Rocko’s wife),
is pregnant again! They’re expecting another baby in about nine weeks”
Kay was stunned! Her mind became a jumble of thoughts, doubts and
questions,—Helen was more than forty years old! Kay hadn’t ever heard of
any woman that age giving birth. It had been at least twelve years, since
Helen had borne her last baby, Donna! And it was a lucky thing that the
older boys were earning some money now and able to contribute to the
support of the family! What would ‘Ma’ Griffin think if she were
alive?—But all Kay said was, “Oh, that’s nice!”.
Kay was in a contented mood. Tom’s good looks, easy charm and ‘line
of blarney’ enabled him to prosper as a traveling salesman. The family now
possessed a new car, a Buick, and continued to enjoy excellent health. Her
children continued to do well in school, had a host of friends, and didn’t
get into trouble of any kind. She had settled into a comfortable routine
that included a little office work, a little housework, and a limited number
of enjoyable social engagements, in the company of her handsome hus-
band.
Then Tom received word that his mother had suffered a debilitating
stroke and now required constant health care. It was agreed that Tom and
Kay would provide a home for Mother Murphy for a limited period of
time, until more suitable arrangements for her care could be made. Kay
knew that this would disrupt her family’s comfortable daily routines, but
she also realized that Tom’s siblings, Marg and Jim, had larger homes and
less demanding business schedules than Tom, and therefore would bear
the brunt of their matriarch’s health care requirements.
When Mother Murphy arrived at Buffalo Airport, Kay was relieved to
see that her old friend was not a helpless invalid. The stroke had partially
paralyzed the right side of her body, but she was mobile and her sense of
humor and good nature were intact. Kay had asked her son, Tommy, to
move his sleeping quarters to a storage room in the third floor attic, and
she now shared Tom’s bed in the smaller front bedroom. This allowed
Mother Murphy to share the larger, and more secluded, rear bedroom
with her grand-daughter, Patricia.
Of course, Tom had to continue his sales travels, and the children went
to school each day, so it was left to Kay to become the constant compan-
ion and caretaker of her mother-in-law. Much to Kay’s surprise, the more
she got to know Mother Murphy, the better she liked her. The older
woman’s deprecatory attitude, ironic humor and wit, and unfailing sense
of compassion, made her the most endearing person that Kay had ever
known. And Mother Murphy’s every action and expression demonstrated
that she continued to adore Kay.
But then, after about two months of congeniality, Tom told Kay that
his business affairs were not being properly attended and that he wanted to
make other arrangements for his mother’s care. He then called his brother,
Jim, to arrange for the future care of their mother. The conversation
quickly became a heated exchange of charges and countercharges. The dis-
pute was resolved by returning Mother Murphy to Sault Ste Marie, Mich-
igan. Kay returned to sharing the rear bedroom with Patricia, and almost
immediately developed a continuing queasy, uneasy feeling, with nausea in
the morning. Kay hated to visit any doctor’s office, but the malady per-
sisted until Kay was forced to make an appointment to obtain treatment
and relief.
Kay learned that she was again pregnant!
At first, Kay was bewildered and angry. “How could this happen? Why
did this happen to me?” were her most immediate thoughts. Then, slowly
the signs of fear and seeds of doubt crept into her meditations. She recalled
the warnings that she had received from doctors fourteen years earlier,
after she had almost died giving birth to Patricia, that another pregnancy
could be fatal for her. She wondered whether her body could take the
strain of childbirth and child rearing at her advanced age. And, how could
she find the time to care for an infant, with a fledgling business to manage?
When Tom received the news of the impending birth, he also expressed
his surprise and amazement that any conception could have occurred after
so many years of continence. But, Kay was most surprised that Tom’s
musings were more practicable than fearful. For the first time, he admitted
to Kay that his constant auto travel had become wearisome. He had been
mulling over an offer that he had received to work for a local painting con-
tractor and Kay’s news had helped him to decide to accept the new job. A
side benefit of the new job would be that Kay would no longer have the
responsibility of running the office at home. Also, a new baby would mean
that 35 Coe Place would be too small for their family and that he would
have to find a more suitable home, as soon as he settled into his new posi-
tion. Finally, Tom opined that with a new baby, a new job and a new,
larger home (and house payments), that they would feel a financial pinch
and would have to tell their son, Tommy, that they would be unable to
help pay for college tuition.
Kay couldn’t catch her breath! It almost seemed that her pregnancy had
occurred solely in order to provide Tom with the impetus to make several
decisions that he had been hesitant about. She was greatly relieved that
Tom seemed neither fearful nor angry about her ‘delicate condition’.
Tom immediately accepted the position of vice-president of Empire
State Painting Contractor Inc and was now at home more often. Kay then
relaxed and began to enjoy her new ‘expectant mother’ status. One
evening Tom took Kay to the Shea’s Buffalo Theater, where they saw the
new comedy team of Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis in a stage review. Kay
never laughed so hard in her entire life! On other nights a new 16" televi-
sion set brought Milton Berle, Ed Sullivan, Sid Caesar, “Studio One”,
“Kraft Theater” and “Dragnet” into Kay’s living room, replacing her radio
favorites. Kay noticed that, following Sunday Mass, the parishioners at
Lourdes Church seemed a little warmer in their greetings to her. Even the
shoppers at Loblaw’s appeared to caress the expectant mother with their
eyes and nod a silent approval as Kay waited in the checkout line. And
when the gang at the Knights of Equity saw Kay in maternity clothes at
the St Patrick’s Day party, their joviality and warm wishes were unre-
strained. Once again, Kay felt young,—and beautiful,—and cherished.
On Memorial Day,1950, Kay, at age 45, gave birth to a beautiful,
healthy, baby girl, Nancy Katherine. Neither Kay nor her baby were
endangered or harmed during or after the delivery.
Kay continued to enjoy the attention, and admiration that her status as
‘a new mother’ brought her. A few months after the birth, Kay proudly
carried the beautiful infant to the graduation ceremonies of her two other
children. First, to Tommy’s graduation from St Joe’s and then to Patricia’s
graduation from Our Lady of Lourdes School.
Jim Griffin, Kay’s brother, had accepted her invitation to attend the
new baby’s Christening celebration and Kay was delighted to see him and
be able to hear his views on sports, world affairs and ‘First Ward’ gossip.
While having a quiet conversation with Kay and her son, Jim asked if
Tommy would be interested in working at General Mills, during the sum-
mer vacation. Jim explained that it was a clerical position,—office messen-

ger, carrying orders and dispatches between the downtown offices and the
mills on Ganson Street. Tommy quickly accepted the offer explaining that
he was anxious to find work so that he could pay his college tuition for the
coming year. Kay immediately expressed her appreciation, because she had
been secretly apprehensive of what was ‘to become’ of her son. She had no
idea of what Tommy’s future plans might be. For some time she had
prayed that he might become a priest, but he had never shown any inclina-
tion toward the religious life. Now, it was her fervent hope that he would
find satisfaction in clerical work at General Mills and that he would find
some good steady job, maybe at General Mills, and wouldn’t waste his
time, and money, at some college. After all, her brother Jim had started
out at General Mills at a much younger age than Tommy, had always
earned a decent salary,—he hadn’t missed a weekly paycheck, even during
the Great depression,—and Jim had never even graduated from St
Bridget’s! Her brother ‘Rocko’ had begun work at Beals, right after gram-
mar school, and he had made a good enough living to keep food on the
table for his brood, ever since. And neither she, nor her husband Tom, had
attended high school, and they were certainly doing all right! The only col-
lege educated people that Kay ever knew were that ‘drunken bunch of
bums and sluts’ at Grover Cleveland. She certainly didn’t want her son to
turn out like that! No, it was time for Tommy to settle down and find
decent work and General Mills was as good a place to start as any!
But then, only a few weeks after Tommy’s graduation, there was news
on the television that American troops were being sent to fight ‘the Com-
munists’. They were drafting boys again to serve in the Army, and maybe
get killed in some place called Korea. Kay thought that maybe Tommy’s
plan to attend college would keep him safe from being drafted. In any
event there wasn’t much that she could do to influence events in any direc-
tion anyway!
Tommy didn’t find a lifetime career at General Mills. Instead, after the
summertime employment, he enrolled at St Bonaventure University and
moved to Olean NY. Patricia began attendance at Mount St Joseph’s
Academy, and developed a host of new friends. Tom sold the Coe Place
residence and purchased a new family home, on Parkwood Avenue in

Kenmore NY, a cozy village, just north of Buffalo’s city limits. Kay’s new
home was a two story, three bedroom structure, situated on a quiet, tree
lined street, with a two car garage and spacious back yard. Village residents
were generally middle income, middle aged, white collared, and white
skinned workers, who almost universally voted Republican at election
time. Tom and Kay attended the staid, older Catholic parish, St Paul’s,
which was located in the center of the village, rather than the new, and
modern church structure of St John’s, which served the young families of
suburban Town of Tonawanda NY.
Kay’s full time job now was to nurture and supervise the vivacious
activities of her infant daughter, Nancy. Kay loved her new job!—her new
neighborhood!—her new life! Kay’s new neighbors were younger than she
was. The mothers of Nancy’s playmates were younger than Kay. In every
way, during every day, Kay felt younger than she had in years.
Even when Tom announced that he had quit his job at Empire State
Painting and was now going to be working as an independent painting
contractor, Kay wasn’t fazed or worried. Tom had always been a good pro-
vider and they would continue to “get by”. She knew that she could han-
dle the clerical duties and run the office of the new business from her
home,—she had done it in the past, and it wouldn’t be any more difficult
now. And, Patricia was now old enough to assist with the care of Nancy,
relieving Kay of that full time responsibility.
Tom’s new status as an entrepreneur meant that there were changes in
Kay’s social circle. First, Tom joined the Buffalo Athletic Club (BAC).
This became the site and occasion for dances, parties and social get-togeth-
ers, although, on rare occasions, Tom and Kay would still stop at the
Knights of Equity (‘for a drink’). Tom’s circle of friends now included his
new business associates: the attorney, Phil Barth; William Borneman, a
contractor; and the business promoter ‘extraordinaire’, George Weich-
mann. Kay never made any mention to Mr Weichmann of their encounter
at the Crystal Beach Ballroom, those many years before,—or the fact that
they had worked together at Beals, McCarthy and Rogers, when they were
young,—and, as far as Kay knew, George Weichmann never acknowl-

edged these facts to anyone either!
Tom still met regularly with ‘his poker bunch’, and Tom and Kay
formed a fast friendship with Harry Winters, and his wife, Frieda. Harry
had been a parishioner of Our Lady of Lourdes, was the owner of the local
Pepsi Cola Bottling plant, and now lived only a few blocks from Tom and
Kay in Kenmore NY. Harry was great fun, but Kay particularly enjoyed
the rough-hewn presence of Frieda Winters. Like Bea Murphy and Bern
Quinlan, Frieda would throw out sardonic quips, in the presence of any-
one, without any pretense, or fear of committing a social blunder. She was
attractive, but not as slim or as pretty as Kay. Frieda Winters had every-
thing that Kay had always looked for in a friend.
Patricia Ann had made many new friends at St Joseph’s Academy and
there was a constant parade of teen-aged girls passing through the resi-
dence on Parkwood Avenue. Kay noticed that none of Pat’s classmates
mentioned having pre-school brothers or sisters at home, and Kay relished
the thought that she was the ‘most recent mother’ among Patricia’s circle
of friends.
Even the news that Tom’s mother was going to pay another visit to
Buffalo didn’t dim Kay’s pleasure. There was plenty of room at the Park-
wood address, including upstairs bedrooms that assured everyone of ade-
quate privacy. Patricia was always available to provide companionship to
‘Grandma’ or to Nancy on those occasions when Kay had something else
to do.
When Mother Murphy arrived in Buffalo, she stayed at the home of her
son, Tom, and his family, rather than with either of her other offspring..
Kay was particularly pleased with the opportunity to visit with her
mother-in-law, who had almost completely recovered from the stroke and
had only the slightest difficulty in using her right arm. She had retained
her gentle warmth and wit, and was a genuinely pleasant house guest. But
her stay in Buffalo was short-lived. Another violent quarrel between her
children, Tom, Jim, and Margaret, over who had the principal responsibil-
ity for their mother’s health care, resulted in the return of Mother Murphy
to Sault Ste Marie, Michigan. Kay was never to see her oldest, and best
friend again!
Before long, Kay’s son, Tommy, returned from St Bonaventure to
announce that he intended to be married at the end of the 1952 summer.
Kay was surprised, and disappointed, at her son’s announcement. She
couldn’t understand why Tommy was rushing into marriage at such a
young age. She liked his fiancee, Barbara Moore, who was attractive, pleas-
ant, and smart, and came from a solid Irish-Catholic family, but Kay
couldn’t imagine how the young couple was going to survive. Barbara’s
father was a graduate of Notre Dame, but he didn’t own his own busi-
ness,—he worked for some engineering firm, and there was no prospect
that her son would find work there. And Tom’s fledgling painting contrac-
tor business at times was having trouble ‘meeting payroll’ and certainly
was in no position to employ unneeded workers or to incur unnecessary
expenses! Kay had secretly expected that Tommy might someday marry
the sister of his good friend, Peter Irwin, and might someday find work in
that family’s prosperous business. But there was nothing that she could do
about that now, so she decided that she would keep her reservations to
herself and let matters play out as they would. At least the wedding
expenses would fall principally on the Moore family, and shouldn’t impose
any undue financial hardship on the Murphys.
Following the wedding, Tommy enrolled at the University of Buffalo,
and worked part time at the painting concern, while his wife, Barbara,
continued to work full time as a business representative at NY Telepnone
Co. The young couple rented a small apartment in Kenmore and Kay was
happy that they had been able to quickly establish their self sufficient inde-
pendence. Then, only a few months after the wedding ceremony, Barbara
arrived at a small social gathering wearing a maternity dress! Kay was mor-
tified! She knew that this early pregnancy was going to disrupt everything!
Barbara was going to have to stop working in only a few short months.
The couple would have to find a new home, for their tiny apartment could
never accommodate a squalling infant. Tommy would now have to find a
full time job to support his family, for Kay knew that the profits from the
painting business weren’t going to be enough to provide sustenance for

another household.
And,—Kay was too young to become a grandmother! She had an infant
of her own to raise, and a business to run, and because of these responsibil-
ities, Kay knew that she wouldn’t be able to assist her daughter-in-law in
any way. But then Kay recalled that ‘Ma’ Griffin had raised and supported
four young children without a husband’s help,—that Mother Murphy had
raised eight children, and took care of her disabled sister, without any out-
side assistance,—and that Kay herself had already nurtured two children to
adulthood, while working full-time at Beals, without asking for anyone’s
help. At least, Barbara had two teen aged sisters, and her husband,
Tommy, to ease the burden of caring for a tiny infant and to pitch in to
help with household chores,—even though Kay remembered that she had
received very little assistance from anyone after Nancy was born!
One evening in March, 1954 Kay was reading a front page story in the
Buffalo Evening News about a horrendous fire that had occurred at Cleve-
land Hill Elementary School in Cheektowaga, which had killed 15 sixth
graders and injured scores of others. She glanced at the picture of the
afflicted sixth grade class and was startled when she recognized her
nephew, Tom Griffin (‘Rocko’s oldest son), listed as home room teacher.
Kay read of her nephew’s heroic actions during the blaze, and thought to
herself how proud ‘Ma’ would be if she knew that the boy she had ‘practi-
cally raised’ had turned out to be a local hero. Kay also felt a flush of fam-
ily pride, for this was the first time that she had seen the name, or the
picture, of a family member in the newspaper.
Then, in no time at all, Patricia graduated from high school, enrolled at
Mercyhurst College and moved to Erie, Pennsylvania. Kay’s daughter-in-
law, Barbara had given birth to a second child, and now was busy caring
for two infants less than two years old, and Tommy, like his father before
him, had taken a selling job that called for him to be away from Buffalo,
during the workweek. Kay was left to raise Nancy, and run the business,
without any help from her two older children.
But, the painting business had continued to prosper. While Tom was in
constant conflict and argument with the painter’s union local over work
rules and worker benefits, he had also been successful in placing full-time
maintenance painters in several of Buffalo’s largest manufacturing plants,
such as American Brass, DuPont, and International Milling. These main-
tenance contracts provided a substantial, even revenue flow to Tom and
Kay, which eased the financial strain imposed by the ever fluctuating, sea-
sonal construction business.
Tom had also been elected president of Western New York Union
Painting Contractors Association, and now became a functionary at
numerous social gatherings of local contractors.
Kay enjoyed socializing with this new group,—they were generally
younger than she and Tom, —and everyone in the group shared the same
business experiences and anxieties. Then Tom was elected vice president of
the national chapter of Union Painting Contractors and Kay got her first
chance to visit new and strange parts of the nation, as she traveled with
Tom to conferences and conventions. Kay’s daughter, Nancy, was still
young enough that she could be excused from school attendance, in order
to accommodate her parents on these business/social jaunts,—and Kay
enjoyed being viewed as the mother of such a bright, young, and whole-
some girl.
Kay received a telephone call from Sister’s Hospital, informing her that
James Murphy was a patient in the hospital and desired to see his brother,
Tom. She immediately contacted Tom and he hurried to the hospital. Kay
wondered what kind of accident could have occurred to hospitalize Jim
Murphy, the robust Irishman. She hadn’t seen him for many years,—not
since he and Tom had that row over their mother’s care,—and she missed
him! Of course, Jim was a tease, but he was a good-natured tease. He was
argumentative, but his arguments were never mean-spirited,—he simply
enjoyed being contentious. Even though Kay suspected that Jim was a lit-
tle jealous of Tom’s business success, she never expected that any dispute
between the two Murphy brothers would be long-lasting. Now, she hoped
that Tom’s visit to the hospital would bring about a reconciliation. When
Tom returned from the hospital, his face was ashen, and he couldn’t hold
back his tears, as he told Kay that a few days before, Jim had experienced
minor stomach pain, had been operated on to remove a minor bowel
obstruction, and the doctors had found that he had massive, inoperable
cancer growth in his intestines. Jim had been sewn up and informed that
he had but a few weeks to live! Kay was dumbfounded. She wondered
what Bea would do now! Jim, like Tom, had been difficult to live with,
but Kay couldn’t imagine what her life would be like if Tom was suddenly
taken away. It was the first time that Kay had ever considered Tom’s, or
her own, mortality!
Jim Murphy never left his hospital room. He died, and was buried less
than three weeks after his operation. Kay never saw Bea Murphy again!
Subconsciously, Kay was relieved that the only people who were aware of
her ‘belated’ wedding, were no longer present in her life!
After Jim Murphy’s death, Kay noticed the slightest change in Tom’s
outlook on life. Tom seemed older, less interested in the pursuit of new
business and more disgruntled with employee relationships and with
union rules and work restrictions. He continuously gained weight, and
though in Kay’s eyes he remained the handsomest of men, her husband
now resembled Jackie Gleason, the comedian, more than Fred McMurray,
the actor. Tom drank a little more, and when he drank at home, he talked
more and more about his plans for retirement. This puzzled Kay, for she
had never felt old,—and still didn’t! She had a marriage that was as good
as most others, and she was contented with the life that she and Tom had
created for themselves. Kay had resumed almost daily conversations with
her brother, Jimmy, and he didn’t seem to think, or act a day older than
when she was a young girl, living at home. Jimmy retained his keen inter-
est in sports and he reported that he was still playing handball at the
Knights of Columbus, and he was still winning occasionally! Her daugh-
ter, Patricia, brought her classmates home from Mercyhurst, and Kay rev-
eled in their company. Kay had neither the time nor the inclination to feel
morose, and she had never liked being around ailing, or aged people.
So, Kay was a bit disquieted by Tom’s announcement that he was going
to look at a cottage on Lake Ontario, to see if it would be a satisfactory
weekend retreat and vacation site. Kay had no hankering to spend her
weekends at some beach, sweeping sand from the floor, tasting sand in her
food, or feeling sand between the sheets when she crawled into bed at
night. Lake Ontario also meant deep water and neither Tom nor Kay
enjoyed swimming in or being on, or near deep water. Also, Tom said that
the cottage was a little more than a one hour drive from their home in
Kenmore. Kay realized that once she was at the cottage she would be
stranded with no way to get home, if Tom were to become sick or unable
to drive. Also Kay wondered how Nancy would react to this change for she
would no longer be able to spend her spare time with schoolmates and
friends. Kay never mentioned these concerns to Tom, or to anyone else,
and she was somewhat relieved when Tom explained that he had learned
of the cottage from Phil Barth, his attorney, who already owned a summer
residence at Shadagee, a small community located just north of Medina
NY. Kay liked Barth, who seemed to always be in a party mood, and who
she knew would be good company for Tom on the summer weekends.
Tom bought the cottage and Kay found that a few of her fears were
unfounded. There was no beach, and therefore no sand to contend with.
Kay met, and grew to like and enjoy the company of Sally Barth, Phil’s
wife. Nancy became a fast friend of the Barth’s daughter, Sherrie, and soon
found that life at Shadagee was a welcome refuge from pressures at school.
Kay’s other daughter, Patricia, had become romantically involved with a
young man from Pennsylvania, Al Bluemle, and when the new couple vis-
ited Lake Ontario, they fell in love with the boating and social opportuni-
ties presented by the small, summer colony. Kay obtained a NY driver’s
license, and while she never drove a car, she was now certain that she could
negotiate the dusty back roads to obtain help, or relief, in an emergency.
She no longer feared isolation.
There were a few unexpected hazards and inconveniences involved with
living at this cottage. Instead of a sandy beach, the cottage faced a land fall-
off of almost ten feet down to the shale formations and water below. This
condition frightened Kay, and she always suspected that this dangerous
condition was the principal reason that her son Tommy, and his young
family didn’t visit the cottage more often. Also, it was an additional place
to keep clean, the facilities and appliances were less modern than Kay was
used to, and in truth, possession of the cottage more than doubled Kay’s
previous housework responsibilities. The area was much more isolated
than any place that Kay had been before. And,—both Phil Barth and Tom
drank a great deal more than Kay thought was sensible, or even possi-
ble,—it seemed that the principal benefit of owning this cottage was that
Phil and Tom could drink as much as they wanted without having to
worry about driving home inebriated!
Each year, Kay watched as Tom grew into the role of patriarch of the
family. He relished the task of hosting parties for Patricia, and her friends,
and loved all the festivities associated with her graduation from college..
He was the ideal “Father of the Bride”, when Pat and Al were married. He
was comfortable in the role of doting grandfather to the ever increasing
brood of Tommy and Barbara. His business interests seemed centered on
his role as an official of the national association of Union Painting Con-
tractors and his social life consisted mostly of playing poker with his cro-
nies.
On the other hand, Kay continued to see herself as the mother of a
young child. Her daughter Nancy was still in grammar school and when
Kay attended school functions she was invariably in the company of
women who were much younger than her. When she talked to Nancy’s
teachers they were no longer intimidating, for they were generally younger
than Kay, and dutifully respectful. Kay enjoyed the company of younger
people, and appreciated being treated as a contemporary of them. Kay
could not envision herself as a grandmother, and when she was in the pres-
ence of her son’s family, she couldn’t help but admire the grace and warm
affection with which her daughter-in-law, Barbara was raising her chil-
dren. Kay found herself emulating Barbara’s good nature and common
sense, as she grew ever more aware that the needs of Nancy, who was only
a few years older than Barb’s children, were different from those of Kay’s
two older children, or from what Kay had experienced in her own past.
Every day, Kay was educating herself, so that she could answer the ques-
tions, and provide some help to this younger generation. She found that
television provided the easiest educational opportunities. Kay found the
weekly presentations of Monsignor Fulton Sheen riveting, instructive, and
frightening, thus deepening the awe of Catholicism which she first learned
at St Bridget’s. She admired the aplomb and vocabulary of William F
Buckley, even though she sometimes didn’t understand the gist of his
arguments. She watched, and paid attention to, both local and national
news shows. And, she continued to have regular telephone conversations
with her brother, Jimmy, who always updated her on local news and sports
information.
Kay’s other family ties continued to be strained. She never saw or spoke
to either her sister Agnes, or brother ‘Rocko’. Each had been invited to
both her son’s wedding to Barbara, and to Patricia’s wedding to Al
Bluemle, but neither had attended or given any response to the invitations.
Kay was puzzled by her brother’s attitude, even as she knew that Ag’s con-
tinuing anger over Kay’s inability to assist in ‘Ma’s final days, was simply a
pretext for the envy that Ag had always felt for her older, and prettier sis-
ter. Neither Tom or Kay had much contact with any of Tom’s sisters,
Marg in Buffalo, or those still in Sault Ste Marie.
On the other hand, after Patricia and Al returned to Buffalo from Al’s
US Army service, they were regular visitors to Kay’s home, and to the cot-
tage. Al’s large family often came to the Buffalo area from Pittsburgh PA,
for family get-togethers and Kay enjoyed the comradery displayed at these
visits. Similarly, Tommy and Barbara were continuously hosting birthday
parties for their children or celebrating first communions, and Kay thor-
oughly enjoyed the company of Bob Moore, Tommy’s father-in-law,
when they met on these occasions.
Shortly after the birth of their fifth child, Michael, Tommy and Barb
purchased a very large, single family home in North Buffalo. Tommy was
no longer traveling to sell appliances, but was now an insurance salesman.
Kay wondered how the young couple were able to afford to own their own
home,—insurance sales had always seemed like such an unseemly and low
paying occupation! She wondered how her son had ended up talking
about ‘dying’ and ‘hanging crepes on widow’s doors’, and she imagined
that Barb had prevailed on her husband to get a job that would allow him
to be around the house more and provide more help with the child rear-
ing. When her brother, Jim, amusingly told her the story of how their
nephew, ‘Rocko’s son Jimmy, became so angry about being denied a
‘swimming pool attendant’ job with the City of Buffalo, that he had run
for political office and lost, Kay thought to herself that this ‘younger gen-
eration’ would go to any extreme to avoid doing any real work!
Of course, there were exceptions. Kay was especially pleased with the
marriage of her daughter, Patricia, to Al Bluemle. Following a stint in the
US Army the pair had returned to Western New York, where they pur-
chased a modern ranch style home, and began to raise a family. Al was a
sober and serious young man who had worked his way through college,
become a chemist, and now had an excellent job at Hooker Chemical. Al,
who came from a large family in the Pittsburgh area, was a devout Catho-
lic and was particularly devoted to his mother. He and Pat already had two
children, Al and Mary Pat, and the entire Bluemle family enjoyed life at
the cottage at Shadagee during the summer months, and were especially
dutiful to Kay. Also, Kay enjoyed the way her daughter Nancy, looked
after the two Bluemle children, providing both Kay and Patricia some
respite from child caring responsibilities. More and more, Kay found that
she was relying on Nancy for assistance, companionship, pleasant conver-
sation,—and love.
Kay had never minded being alone, but she had always dreaded being
alone when she wanted company. Now she found that she had more time
to herself than she ever had before. Each morning, Nancy would leave the
house to go to school, and Tom would be off to supervise his painters, or
to a business meeting, or to join his business contacts in some activity. Kay
would stay at home to answer the phone, pay the bills, and manage the
books. Tom felt particularly harassed by the annual audit of the company’s
account books by IRS agents, but Kay met regularly with Al Grabensted-
der, an accountant, to make sure that every expenditure was properly
recorded. While there were always income tax penalties, the IRS audits
never found anything that was illegal or improper in the company’s books.
But being alone didn’t mean that Kay was bored. She had discovered that
she had a natural curiosity. She regularly watched TV news shows, read
both of the local newspapers and conversed on a regular basis with her
brother, Jim. On one occasion he had regaled Kay with the story of how
their nephew, Jimmy, was trying to become elected Ellicott District Coun-
cilman. “He’s a born politician”, his uncle Jim reported. “He knows noth-
ing, but he thinks that he knows everything”, Jim chuckled as Kay roared
with laughter. But then Jim said seriously, “But, the kid has spunk. He
goes out every day, knocking on the doors of colored families, asking for
their votes”. When her brother said that the whole Griffin fam-
ily,—mother and father, brothers and sister, and aunts and uncles,—were
helping out in the campaign activities, Kay was quick to explain that she
had office duties to perform at home, a young daughter to care for, and
lived outside the city limits,—and therefore couldn’t really provide any
support to the political activities. She assured her brother that she’d be
available to provide help at some future time.
Although Tom continued to project a hale and hearty image in public,
and at social functions, Kay was becoming increasingly concerned about
his health. There was constant pressure coming from the local painters
union, with threats of fines and penalties for failure to adhere to union
work rules and practices While the firm had been able to avoid any disrup-
tive work stoppages, or substantial financial losses, the toll on Tom’s good
nature, and upon his business judgement were more apparent to Kay, each
day He was drinking more, and with greater frequency. He had always
boasted that he “never took a drink before four o’clock in the afternoon”
but now Kay noticed that he began drinking at four o’clock, every after-
noon! Even the slightest physical exertion now required hours, or even
days of recuperation. Climbing the stairs at home, in order to go to the
bathroom, or to the bedroom, seemed to exhaust him. Kay was relieved
when Tom announced that he had purchased a single floor, ranch style
home in Cheektowaga. Tom announced to all who would listen that he
had purchased the new home to ease Kay’s workload and strain of climb-
ing stairs, but Kay knew the real reasons, and kept her own counsel.
5
Arduous Retirement Years
The move to Concord Drive in Cheektowaga brought change, but little

improvement into Kay’s life. Gone was the comfortable, staid village
atmosphere, replaced by expansive suburban living. There was greater
space between the homes and yards, diminishing the sense of neighborli-
ness.
Stores, markets, and service facilities were all within easy walking dis-
tance of the new residence, but in order to shop, or browse at the commer-
cial properties, Kay would be forced to cross two busy thoroughfares., and
therefore she only went out to shop when driven by Tom, or by her
daughter, Patricia.
For the first time in Kay’s life the ‘over the back fence’ camaraderie was
absent. The tribalism, feistiness and caustic Irish humor of the ‘Old First
Ward’, was nowhere to be found in this new, sterile place. The aromas,
accents, and strident negotiations of the Italian markets on Buffalo’s West
Side had no counterpart in the small strip plazas that dotted Cheektowaga
NY. The quiet serenity and warmth of St Peter and Paul RC Church in
Kenmore, and the French cultural influences that had been so apparent in
Holy Angels and Our Lady of Lourdes parishes were now replaced by a
cavernous temple, encased by cold marble walls, housing a small,
table—like altar and a few uncomfortable pews, in Queen of Peace
Church, Kay’s new parish.
It was no longer practical for Nancy to attend Mount St Mary’s School
in Kenmore, so that Kay no longer experienced the congeniality that came
from familiar faculty members and friendly parent groups. Tom purchased
a Buick Roadmaster convertible, and while Kay was amused by the fact
that the new car seemed longer and wider than the Coe Place block where
104
Arduous Retirement Years 105
they had previously lived, the only chance that Kay had to enjoy the com-
fort of the white leather upholstery, was on trips to and from the cottage at
Shadagee.
Tom’s health and disposition continued to deteriorate. The afternoon
drinking now extended into the evening hours and spats and quarrels
between Kay and Tom became the norm. With each passing year, Tom’s
relationship with his youngest daughter, Nancy, worsened. The two were
constantly at odds, over matters great and small. It sometimes seemed to
Kay that Tom resented Nancy being born just when he was prepared to
relax, and that he felt that being the father of a young child hindered his
playing the role of a ‘grand old man’. He was indulgent to her when she
was a child, and this continued when Nancy became a teenager, but at the
first sign of her independence or contrariness, Tom would explode and
bellow that his younger daughter was unappreciative of ‘all that he had
done for her’. Yet, throughout the years he continued to deny her an
allowance, requiring that when she needed spending money she had to ask
for it from her father. When Nancy wanted to seek part time after-school
work, Tom took it as a personal affront. He denigrated Nancy’s academic
efforts, and seldom partook in school functions or celebrations. Tom
counseled his youngest child that if she sought a college education, it
would be a waste of her time, and of his money.
In Kay’s eyes, Nancy was a pure delight! She was affable, helpful and
always eager to please both of her parents, and her teachers. Her wit, and
appreciation of the comedic, made her an excellent companion. Maybe as
a result of her father’s derogatory attitude toward education, Nancy never
reached for, or attained scholarly achievements. In high school, she devel-
oped a wide circle of friends, and it wasn’t long before Nancy met, and fell
in love with a fine young man. Kay liked the manner in which Nancy had
developed into an upstanding and likeable young lady and she liked Ron
Pleska, Nancy’s new beau. When Nancy and her father got into a dispute
over Nancy seeking part-time work, Kay thought that Nancy was probably
attempting to accumulate a little nest-egg with which to get married after
she finished high school. The only way that Kay could help Nancy to
achieve her dream, without widening the animosity growing between
father and daughter, was to volunteer to accompany teen-aged Nancy

while she drove to and from her job during evening hours, for teenagers
were forbidden to drive an automobile after sundown, unless they were
accompanied by an adult, licensed driver. At last, Kay’s NY drivers license
had been put to some good use—and without risking anyone’s life and
limbs! Of course, Kay had to kill four or five hours each time that Nancy
worked nights, but she found that by browsing through neighboring
shops, she was able to visit with other shoppers and salespeople, and it was
often ‘time well spent’.
In Kay’s mind, the years had changed her least of all! She had learned
long ago to enjoy the things that she had, and to avoid wishing for things
that were beyond her reach, or that could harm her. Nancy’s birth and
upbringing had allowed Kay to maintain a youthful attitude and her
appearance belied her age. Her weight was the same, or even less, than
when she was married, and frequent, and expensive, trips to the beauty
parlor had allowed Kay to retain the brunet shade of hair that she had
always favored. Kay didn’t like looking into a mirror, or having her picture
taken. She avoided viewing photographs of herself because she had found
that they often depicted her in less than flattering positions or that flash
bulbs, or lighting, had caused her to squint or grimace just as the picture
was snapped.
Kay’s older children had also grown and prospered. Her son, Tommy,
and his wife, Barbara had raised eight children,—four handsome sons, and
four beautiful daughters. Tommy had finally gotten a job in City Hall and
no longer had to rely on uncertain sales commissions for his livelihood.
After the children had grown, Tommy’s wife, Barbara, had gotten a job
somewhere in Buffalo City Court and it seemed that the pair had put hard
financial times behind them. The four Murphy boys were athletic and
extremely personable. Kay particularly enjoyed sitting and conversing with
Tommy’s four daughters and hearing tales of their school and dating expe-
riences, which were so much like those of her own daughter, Nancy. Patri-
cia’s husband, Al, originally had a good job at Hooker Chemical, but then
had branched out by starting a few small businesses of his own, on the
side, and eventually had left Hooker completely to start his own manufac-
turing business. Kay recalled that her mother had always viewed the Ger-
man male as a canny businessman, and Al’s success was living proof of
‘Ma’ Griffin’s judgement of people and nationalities. Pat and Al were
blessed with four attractive, personable and intelligent children. All of the
Bluemle children attained college degrees, the two boys had gone to work
for their father’s firm, Mary Pat had married extremely well, and Kay’s
favorite, Judy, had begun a promising career in real estate. The Bluemle
family took such delight in living and playing at Shadagee, that Al had
purchased the cottage immediately adjoining Tom and Kay’s place and
had purchased a boat for sailing on Lake Ontario.
Kay’s brother, Jim, continued to report on Griffin family events, but it
was apparent that few things changed in Buffalo’s Old First Ward. Jim
continued in his position at General Mills, ‘Rocko’ still worked at Beals,
Ag’s husband, Bill, had died and Ag now lived and kept house at the South
Park Avenue cottage. Rocko’s wife, Helen passed on, and Kay’s nephew,
Tommy, who was now divorced, returned home to care for his father.
Jimmy Griffin, the politician, continued his battles against the political
establishment, running for every office imaginable, winning some and los-
ing others. Kay’s brother, Jim, was active in all of his nephew’s political
escapades, and kept Kay up to date on who was hated, and why they were
hated, but Kay never could bring herself to the point where she really
cared about ‘politics’.
Kay’s stoicism protected her from disappointment, but it also prevented
her from appreciating the full extent of her good fortune over the years.
She, and her family, had enjoyed good health, avoiding the debilitating
financial crises brought on by serious illness or accident. Neither Kay’s
husband, nor her son, nor her brothers, nor any of her grandchildren were
ever drafted, or had served in the nation’s Armed Forces. Even during the
Great Depression, Tom had brought home a weekly paycheck, and so had
Kay’s brothers,—and Kay had been able to obtain decent work, whenever
‘money got tight’. Kay was sure that her husband, Tom, had stopped his
philandering, Tommy and Patricia had found ideal mates, and Nancy was
constantly ‘walking on air’, just contemplating spending her life with Ron.
There had been ‘tough’ financial times, particularly when she and Tom
were first married, and even now, there were times that it was ‘hard to
meet the payroll’, but in general, Kay felt that she and Tom had done bet-
ter than most others,—and without help from anyone else!
So that Kay was completely unprepared for the news that her daughter
received one day. Ron Pleska, serving in the US Army in Germany, during
peacetime, had been killed in a tragic accident. Nancy was devastated and
on the verge of an emotional collapse. And Kay didn’t know what to do!
She didn’t know how to respond to her loved one’s grief or even how to
provide comforting counsel! For Kay had never before had to cope with
death, or even tragedy! She never knew her infant sister or her father. Both
died when Kay was a little girl. No one in the Griffin or Murphy house-
holds served on any battlefield, much less suffered wounds or death. She
had few close friends, and none that were ever sick, or dying. Kay said on
several occasions that she didn’t like, and never attended wakes or funerals.
She had not visited her mother frequently or even regularly, before ‘Ma’
Griffin died. Kay hadn’t seen Mother Murphy, Jack Murphy, Jim Murphy
or Marg Ruh for several years before their deaths. In the presence of
Nancy’s grief, Kay was confused and chose to remain stolidly mute.
Nancy was grief stricken for several months, but she continued to work
and with the resiliency of youth, she eventually resumed her march into
adulthood. She changed jobs several times, but then seemed to find satis-
faction working as a waitress at a local restaurant. Kay was sorry that Tom
disapproved of the waitress position, for she recognized that his disap-
proval had only fueled Nancy’s resolution to be on her own. Kay also rec-
ognized that Tom had become disgruntled with most of life’s facets. He
criticized Kay for her failure to keep proper company records. He seemed
to be in constant conflict with the local painter’s union and had adopted
the attitude that the union had singled him out for punishment because he
had been the contractor who was most successful at obtaining work, with-
out the assistance or the sanction of any labor union. Finally, the local
Labor Relations Board ruled against T Murphy & Son Painting in a labor
dispute and levied a substantial financial penalty against Tom and Kay for
violations of labor union contracts. In what seemed to be the ‘final straw’,
his long-time contacts at American Brass, DuPont and International Mill-
ing were retiring and he was having difficulty getting his maintenance con-
tracts renewed. Tom told Kay that “he’d had enough” and was going to
sell all of his painting equipment, pay the penalties imposed, and retire.
He had finally reached age 65 and was tired of working and coping with
the hassles of business.
It wasn’t a ‘comfortable’ retirement. Even though both Tom and Kay
received Social Security benefits and Nancy’s modest income made her self
sufficient, “money was sometimes tight”. Al Bluemle had purchased the
cottage at Shadagee, and allowed Tom and Kay to retain all ownership
rights, which provided Tom and Kay with some financial reserves, and
Kay was sure that they were in no danger of ever becoming ‘the dependent
poor’. Kay had continued to correspond with her brother, Jim, but she
never let on that there was ever any financial difficulty or problems in her
marriage, nor was the subject of finances ever discussed with any of her
children. Kay knew that there were plenty of people who would gladly
trade places with her, and she wasn’t one to complain, for she had seen ‘far
worse times’.
Then, one morning Kay awakened to find that Tom wasn’t in the bed
next to her! She found her husband slouched on the toilet seat, unable to
move or to speak. Kay immediately called 911 and then her children. The
emergency unit was the first to arrive and they told Kay that Tom had
apparently suffered a severe stroke and would require hospital care. Kay
was completely confused for Tom was only 68 years old, had recently vis-
ited his doctor and had reported only that his minor ailments were ‘noth-
ing to be concerned about’. Tom was such a hale and robust man that Kay
knew that his present condition couldn’t be serious or long lasting. As the
emergency technicians wheeled her gaping and mute husband into an
ambulance, Kay comforted him with the words, “Everything’s going to be
alright Tom! I’ll be along in a little while!”
But everything was not going ‘to be alright’ for Kay,—ever again!
Tom had suffered paralysis of the right side of his body and damage to
his auditory nerve which destroyed his sense of balance and impeded his
speech. He remained under hospital care for almost one month, and then
spent another month in a physical rehabilitation center. Even with health
insurance coverage, the extensive treatment had drained the family’s finan-
cial reserves. Kay was anxious to have Tom returned home, where she, and
Pat, and Nancy, along with the assistance of visiting nurses, could help
Tom to get back to being ‘his old self’.
But then, only a few months after Tom’s return to his Concord Drive
home, Nancy announced that she was taking her own apartment. Kay
understood that her youngest child had grown to be an adult, had become
romantically involved with another man, and needed and deserved the pri-
vacy that having her own place would bring. But Nancy had been the only
person that Kay had to talk to! Nancy had been her confidante and help
mate! Tom sat mute and unblinking, and while Patricia had visited most
days, she always had to return to her home in order to meet the needs of
her husband and of their family. Kay’s son Tommy, had his full-time job,
and large family to see to,—and he had been no help or comfort in this sit-
uation at all! Kay knew that there “was no use in complaining” and she
resolved to handle whatever came along, when it came along!
For awhile, Kay managed to maintain her household. Tom’s physical
condition hadn’t improved, but it had stabilized. Nancy’s full-time job
and romantic pursuits meant that she could only visit the Concord address
sporadically and for short durations, but Kay was always happy to share in
her bright, cheerful and exuberant presence. And Tom seemed to ‘light up’
whenever Nancy entered the room! But it was Patricia that Kay had come
to rely on for daily assistance. Pat had always doted on her father, and now
she visited him almost every day. Pat helped Kay with the housework, she
did the shopping and generally took care of the details of keeping the Con-
cord home running.
It was only after Patricia returned to her home and family each day, that
the full burden of caring for the aged and disabled Tom weighed upon
Kay. She would cook the morning and evening meals for the two of them.
Kay never ate much, but Tom’s appetite, which had always been hearty,
was now voracious. There were dishes and pots to wash and put away,
there were always bedding to be changed, washed, and stored. Tom
needed assistance in changing his clothes, washing himself or simply mov-
ing a few feet from one place to another. Housekeeping, which Kay had
never liked, and caring for the personal hygiene of the ill, which Kay had
always detested and tried to avoid, now seemed to be Kay’s only reason for
living. Kay kept up a steady stream of conversation while performing her
chores, but Tom’s occasional slurred murmur was no indication that he
understood anything that Kay said. Still, no one ever heard Kay complain
about her ‘lot in life’.
When Nancy announced that she intended to marry Bob Dempsey,
Kay received the news with the utmost calm, for she didn’t feel that she
was going to be affected one way or the other by this action. Nancy had
explained that due to her father’s incapacity, she and Bob had decided not
to place any financial strain on Kay, and that the couple would be married
in a simple ceremony, with little, if any, following celebration. The news
that truly stunned Kay was Nancy’s statement that they were to be married
within the next few weeks because Bob had accepted a job in Fort Lauder-
dale FL, and that the married couple would be leaving the Buffalo area
immediately following the wedding. Kay was going to lose one of the two
people who visited her and helped with Tom’s care! Even more to the
point, Nancy had become Kay’s best friend—and Kay really didn’t know
how she was going to get by without her! But then, remembering the hard-
ship of growing up without a father, and of never having enough money
during the Depression years, and of the years spent just keeping her family
life from falling apart,—Kay knew that she would get by!
But being resolute often isn’t enough! Another stroke, although less
severe than Tom’s first, degraded his health, Kay’s strength and the fam-
ily’s finances, beyond Kay’s capacity to carry on.
Patricia assisted Kay in the selection of a nursing home that could pro-
vide the constant daily care that Tom needed and that Kay could no
longer provide. They chose a facility that was reasonably close to Pat’s
home, rather than a home that was close to Concord Drive, so that Pat
could more easily supervise her father’s care and could visit with him on
shorter, but more frequent visits.
This left Kay with less responsibility, but completely alone! She fre-
quently spoke with her brother, Jim, and Nancy called occasionally. Her
son, Tommy, visited her sporadically and she could always call on Patricia
for shopping trips, or short visits to the nursing home. But surprisingly,
Kay soon found that she gained comfort in embracing social and political
issues that she had gleaned as a result of her television viewing and newspa-
per reading. She was a great admirer of President Reagan, for she attrib-
uted her small annual increase in her monthly Social Security check to him
and his austere approach to government. Kay could never understand why
she should be required to pay school taxes, when none of her children had
ever attended a public school. And once her nephew, Jimmy Griffin,
became a candidate for Mayor of Buffalo, Kay’s brother Jim brought her
up to date on the horrors that would accompany any administration that
was composed principally of Negroes. Kay didn’t enjoy visiting any nurs-
ing home, or hospital, but at least when she visited the still unresponsive
Tom, she had the opportunity of talking with hospital staff, patients, and
other visitors and she appreciated this social intercourse and chance to
express her opinions.
Then, quite unexpectedly, Kay’s nephew, Jimmy Griffin, was elected
Mayor of the City of Buffalo, NY. Kay thought immediately of how proud
her mother, ‘Ma” Griffin, would be that the boy that she “had practically
raised” had reached such great heights. Kay was also pleased for her
brother, Jim, who she knew had worked long and hard in behalf of his
nephew’s political career. And Kay’s son, Tommy, could now relax with
his first cousin as Mayor. He might even be in line for a better job, for Kay
recalled that her brother had told her that he’d heard that Kay’s son was
“one of the smartest guys in City Hall”.
Kay began to mention her nephew’s success when she visited with peo-
ple at the nursing home, or a the beauty shop, but people didn’t seem to
be too impressed, or even interested in talking about the former NY State
Senator. And Tom was completely unresponsive when she told him the
news, but he had never had the slightest interest in what any of the Grif-
fins did anyway.
Patricia invited Kay to accompany the Bluemle family when they
attended Jimmy Griffin’s inauguration ceremony in City Hall. For the
first time, Kay realized what a momentous occasion it was! The crowd was
enormous, and in a celebratory mood. She had no idea that her nephew
had this many friends! After the inaugural ceremony, there was a crush of
people anxious to shake the new Mayor’s hand and Kay had only a brief
moment to offer her congratulations. She wasn’t even sure that the Mayor
knew who she was when she approached him, for there was no other Grif-
fin family member in sight, who might have introduced her. Luckily,
Patricia was there to kindle the Mayor’s recognition of his aunt. Kay was
surprised that the Mayor was such a small man! He was no bigger than his
father! Kay expected that he would have a larger frame, for her
father,—the Mayor’s grandfather, had been almost six feet tall!
Almost immediately, Jimmy Griffin seemed to be in every local TV
newscast, appointing people to important jobs, quipping that “bankers
had hearts the size of caraway seeds”, promising to build a new baseball
field, or cutting ribbons to the new Convention Center, or Erie Basin
Marina. The man was news! And soon, whenever Kay mentioned that her
nephew was the Mayor of Buffalo, she got a reaction. Some people seemed
pleased and offered Kay their congratulations on her good luck. Others
asked her questions about what kind of a man her nephew, the Mayor,
really was, for there were often conflicting stories in the newspaper, or on
the radio talk shows, about Griffin’s intelligence, or honesty, or ability to
get things done. Kay always answered that “anyone in politics makes ene-
mies, who’ll always find something bad to say about their political foe”.
And then there were those who expressed their distaste, or complete indif-
ference to both Mayor Griffin and City of Buffalo affairs. Kay recognized
immediately that there was always some people, who hated to see anyone
else get ahead, and “badmouthed” everyone around them.
When Patricia excitedly called to say that she had been in touch with
the Mayor’s office, and had arranged for her and Kay to sit on the review-
ing stand at the St Patrick’s Day Parade, Kay was overwhelmed.’Ma’ Grif-
fin could never have imagined anything ‘so grand’ happening to her
children and grandchildren. And what were ‘those stuffed shirts’ at the
nursing home going to say when they were told this piece of news? Kay
could hardly wait to see their faces when she spread the news of her good
fortune! But when she told her new acquaintances of her upcoming prom-
inence, many of them feigned indifference. And the experience of sharing
a podium with ‘the Mayor’ was less than exhilarating. Kay sat on an open
wooden stand, in the cold March gloom, in the company of her brother,
Jim, and her sister, Ag. Jim was his normal, garrulous self while Ag sat
mute, her hands folded in her lap, glowering whenever she glanced at Kay.
It was obvious to all those who could now view ‘Ma’ Griffin’s offspring,
that the passing years had been kindest to Kay. It slowly occurred to Kay
that her affluent reappearance into Jimmy Griffin’s life had once again
forced Agnes into the background, and that Ag’s old resentments toward
her had been rekindled. Strangely, this thought took some of the chill out
of the afternoon air and warmed Kay a little.
As the years passed, Kay noticed that fewer and fewer of residents, staff
and visitors to the nursing home, or the people in suburban shops and
stores, seemed interested in the behavior or antics of Buffalo’s Mayor. But
what distressed Kay most were the reports that her son, Tommy, was not
mentioned as a valued member of the Griffin Administration. In fact, Kay
had heard from her brother that Tommy was considered by many to be an
enemy of the Mayor. Kay had always known that jealousy and envy were
the outstanding traits of the Irish, but she was always sure that her son was
smart enough to recognize when he had “a good thing staring him in the
face” and she couldn’t understand why Tommy wasn’t a prime cheerleader
for his cousin. One day, while visiting at the nursing home, Kay asked her
son why he wasn’t more supportive of his cousin. Tommy responded,
“You know Mom, he’s really a nasty little sonofabitch!”. Kay couldn’t take
this attitude any longer and replied, “You know your problem is that
you’ve always been jealous of Jimmy Griffin’s success!” The room fell
silent. Suddenly there was an unexpected eruption,—from the other side
of the room! Barbara, Kay’s daughter-in-law, waded into the dispute. “You
don’t know what you’re talking about!”, Barbara stormed. “Your son is
twice the man that Jimmy Griffin could ever hope to be but you’re so
blinded by the name of Griffin in newspaper headlines that you can no
longer determine the true value of anyone or anything!”
When Kay looked over at her stricken husband, she saw a gleam in his
eyes that said that he understood what had been said, and that he was
happy that someone had finally spoken up against the constant harangue
in praise of anything that any Griffin ever did. Kay was completely struck
dumb! She didn’t know what to say or what to think! Why would her
most cherished loved ones now turn against her, simply because she was
displaying the ‘tribal loyalty to kith and kin’, that was part of the make-up
of every ‘Old First Ward’ resident.
But what bothered her even more was that Kay noticed that her own
energy and enthusiasm was flagging. Tom was fading noticeably. He had
suffered a few more small strokes and any look in his eyes that indicated
understanding, enjoyment, sorrow or anger had all but disappeared. Patri-
cia was tiring of the tasks of being nurse, companion, caretaker, and chauf-
feur to both of her parents. And Kay had come to detest visits to the
nursing home. She found the sights, smells, and sounds of the facility, and
it’s patients, to be repugnant. Kay didn’t want to stay home alone on Con-
cord Drive any longer, and she didn’t want to stay with her daughter,
Patricia, and her family! Kay came to the conclusion that it was time for
her to visit her favorite daughter, Nancy, and her family, in Medina, Ohio.
Nancy, who had often invited her to visit, would welcome the change in
her daily routines.
For the first time in her life, Kay was afraid! It was apparent that Tom
wasn’t ever going to get better, and probably didn’t have long to live. And
the future without Tom seemed nightmarish! Kay knew that her personal
needs were few and that she could still take care of herself, but she also
realized that she didn’t relish a solitary old age. She also knew that a time
would come that she would require assistance and care, and she remem-
bered the family squabbles generated over who was to care for Mother
Murphy. Kay certainly didn’t want to get shuffled from one family to
another, and she never wanted to be a “bother to anyone”. The thought of
spending her final days in a nursing home, among ailing and sick people,
was nauseating to her. And finally Kay had to face the certainty that some-
day soon, she must die! She had always obeyed God’s Ten Command-
ments, and therefore she was certain that she would go to heaven and
wouldn’t have to ‘suffer the pains of hell’. But as the years passed, the
uncertainty and ethereal nature of ‘the hereafter’ began to terrify Kay, so
that, at times, she could think of nothing else! Kay hoped that by visiting
her youngest daughter, in a new city, she would forget the sight of aging
people and the smell of death, and that by getting to know, and learning
to love, her youngest grand children, she could regain, and retain her love
of life. Kay left her home and family in Buffalo, for her holiday in Medina
Ohio, with no fanfare, and with few regrets.
Her reception in the Dempsey household was far better than she had
ever dared to hope for! Of course Nancy was delighted to see her again and
Nancy’s husband, Bob, made Kay feel welcome every time they were in
each others company. Kay was given her own room, and wasn’t expected
to participate in any of the household tasks, although, had she been asked,
she would have been more than happy to lend a hand. What made this
visit so extraordinary for Kay was the affection, even adoration, that
Nancy’s children, Kelly, Kim, and Mike, lavished on “Grandma Murphy”.
For the very first time in her life, Kay felt loved! She looked upon the three
lovely children as if they were her first,—her only grandchildren. And, for
all practical purposes, they were! When she was younger, and raising
Nancy, Kay never felt comfortable in the role of grandmother. She had
loved Tommy’s kids, and she had always enjoyed the cheerful banter with
Patricia’s four children, but Kay had always felt more like an aunt, than a
grandmother with them. Here in Medina, Kay could answer the call of
“Grandma, look at this!” with joy, and just as importantly, without hesita-
tion and without embarrassment. She could dote on each of the children,
without worrying whether she was playing favorites, or placing herself in
some compromising position.
After only a week or so Kay noticed that a chill permeated throughout
the household. Nancy and Bob rarely spoke to each other and there were
no ‘terms of endearment’. Bob was seldom home for dinner, but Kay
understood that retail sales work entailed many evening and weekend
hours spent away from home. Kay hoped that this was the cause of the
apparent family friction and not the presence of ‘Grandma’ in the daily
affairs of the Dempsey family!
Nancy’s twin pleasures seemed to be her early morning jog with her
neighbors, and the care and nurturing of her children. She rose before day-
break, ran in all kinds of weather for 45 minutes to one hour, then
returned home to serve the children their breakfast, prepare school

lunches, and see them off to school. Kay generally slept until later in the
morning, but even at those times that she awakened early, she remained in
her room until the children had left for school, so that she was no inconve-
nience to Nancy at this busy part of the day. After the children left for
school, Nancy and Kay would visit over coffee and toast.
At one of these morning klatches, Nancy appeared to be distracted and
distraught. Kay jokingly quipped, “Well, what got you out of the wrong
side of the bed this morning?” Nancy burst into tears. “Mom,—I don’t
know what I’m going to do! My marriage is in shambles! When Bob
comes home at night, we barely speak. We never do anything together! I’m
not sure that Bob loves me or his children. I’m thinking of filing for a
divorce!” she blurted.
Kay was taken aback, but she quickly counseled, “Now my dear child,
you’ll do no such thing! You have a roof over your head and food on the
table, that’s what is important”.
Nancy continued her lament, “But Mom,—Bob is drinking every day!
If he’s not drunk when he comes home, he gets drunk after he comes
home! And when he’s drunk, all we seem to do is argue and fight!”
“I have been living with your father for fifty years, and putting up with
his drinking! You’re not telling me anything new.” was Kay’s only
response.
Kay knew that her response seemed harsh, and she never meant to com-
plain about her marriage to Tom! Rather she acknowledged, as ‘Ma’ Grif-
fin had under similar circumstances some forty years earlier,—that
marriages and lives were ‘imperfect’ and that it was often better to “live
with the devil that you know, rather than visit with the angel you don’t
know”. Kay had truly come to believe that “nothing is so bad, that it can’t
be made worse!” and that “it’s better to be sorry and stay, than to be sorry
and go away”. She simply could not counsel her youngest daughter to
leave her husband, or to seek a divorce.
Kay and Nancy never discussed the problem of the Dempsey’s marital
discord again, but Kay realized that her days of living in the Dempsey
household were numbered.
Late in August, Kay received word that Tom had suffered another
severe stroke, and had only a very short time to live. Kay told Nancy that
she didn’t want to return to Buffalo immediately, because Tom wouldn’t
recognize her, or even know that she was with him. Besides, Kay wanted to
remember the man that Tom had been, and she didn’t want to watch him
die. On August 30th, less than two months after Kay had left for Medina,
her husband died in his sleep.
Now Kay was faced with the quandary of whether to return to Buffalo
for the funeral. She hadn’t wanted to see Tom while he was ill, she hadn’t
wanted to watch him die, and now she wasn’t sure that she wanted to see
him in death. But she knew that her children would expect her to partici-
pate in the burial ceremony. Nancy was already preparing for the trip to
Buffalo and Patricia had made arrangements for Kay and Nancy to pick
up Patricia’s son at college and bring him to the wake. And Kay knew that
there were other housekeeping details that only she could see to.
Kay arrived at the funeral parlor the night before the burial was to take
place and found ‘holding a wake’ to be a less unpleasant experience than
she expected. All of the grandchildren were there and seemed glad to see
her. Each was solicitous toward her grief and welcomed the opportunity of
exchanging small talk, reminisces, and condolences. Kay spent only a few
moments at the bier, and managed to disguise her anguish over her loss.
The next day, the funeral Mass was well attended and it was great for Kay
to see so many of her old friends in attendance. After a brief burial cere-
mony, Kay was ready to resume her life.
The days of fear were behind her. The worst had happened! Tom had
died and now there was no one for Kay to care for, nor would she rely on
others to care for her, if she could help it!
She had no intention of ever living at the Concord Drive address again.
During her stay in Medina she had realized that if she returned to her
former home, she would spend the rest of her life reliving memories, both
good and bad, and she had no intention of spending her old age “looking
back”. Kay now knew that she could not be happy surrounded by the tur-
moil that was about to erupt in the Dempsey household, so she urged
Nancy to return to her home without “Grandma”. Kay urged Nancy to
secure the well-being of herself and her children before she took any rash
divorce action. It was obvious to Kay that her daughter, Patricia, had ‘just
about come to the end of her rope’ in the role of sole caretaker, chauffeur,
housekeeper and nurse to an aging parent, but Kay knew that she would
have to impose on the Bluemle’s good nature for a bit more,—until Kay
could make other arrangements.
Kay told her son, Tommy, that under no circumstances was he to allow
anyone to “dump” her into ‘any nursing home’. Tommy replied that he
had heard of some ‘assisted living’ facilities, that provided housekeeping,
health services, and meals, but where senior citizens could live indepen-
dent, self sufficient lives, in their own small apartments. Kay said that an
arrangement like that seemed to ‘suit her needs’ and she asked Tommy to
investigate further. Tommy agreed to ready the Concord Drive residence
‘for sale’, and Kay said that she would marshal the rest of her resources, to
insure that she was never going to have to take any action that ‘she didn’t
want to take’.
After inventorying her modest assets, Kay devised her Last Will and
Testament, then died alone, peacefully, without suffering, after watching a
World Series baseball game on television,—exactly six weeks after Tom,
her husband, had passed away.
On October 20,1988, following a simple funeral ceremony, which was
attended by the Mayor of Buffalo, Catherine Murphy (nee) Griffin, was
laid in peaceful rest, next to her beloved husband, Tom.
“Rest with me. I am old; but thou hast never met a younger
more beautiful than I.
I dwell in eternal summer; I dream in perennial sunshine; I
sleep in magical moonlight …
My charms are not the charms of great gold or great riches; but
thou mayst feel with me such hope and content as thou has
never felt before.
I offer thee eternal summer, and a sky divinely blue; sweet
breezes and sweet perfumes, bright fruits and flowers fairer
than the rainbow.

Rest with me.”
—Lafcidio Hearn
978-0-595-46821-8
0-595-46821-7

The Mayor's Aunt

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The Mayor's Aunt

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The Mayor’s Aunt

The Mayor’s Aunt

Copyright © 2007 by Thomas J. Murphy

iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

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ISBN: 978-0-595-46821-8 (pbk)

Printed in the United States of America

In the 2003 movie,”Secondhand Lions”, an elder counseled his grand-

responded in kind, never having learned any other way of living. My

“Out of Ireland have we come, great hatred, little

neither basements nor central heat. Employment opportunities were avail-

Marion McGilligott was at ‘Slat’s” side in a flash, steadying him against

proceeded to give the city detective a lesson in institutional economics. All

go back again.” Meegan responded as he left the hushed locker room.

social contact were mostly limited to the annual company Christmas

civil service examinations for these positions in Buffalo, he found that he

several years experience working in a large, busy office, and therefore

Batt became unemployed when the Studebaker auto production plant on

social contacts but he avoided talking about workplace events, or fellow

Mother Murphy moved to the red-eyed Kay, clasped the outstretched

cious meat. Several waterway overpasses, or crossroad corners, featured

mer vacation. Jim explained that it was a clerical position,—office messen-

residence and purchased a new family home, on Parkwood Avenue in

young,—and, as far as Kay knew, George Weichmann never acknowl-

painting business weren’t going to be enough to provide sustenance for

The move to Concord Drive in Cheektowaga brought change, but little

father and daughter, was to volunteer to accompany teen-aged Nancy

returned home to serve the children their breakfast, prepare school

than the rainbow.

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