10 Stages That Lead To Divorces and Breakups Marius Panzarella 2007, All Rights Reserved

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10 Stages That Lead To Divorces and Breakups In this report, I am going to show you the 10 stages to a divorce or breakup. This free report is the twelfth report in a series of reports that I ve been writ ing as a small thank you for my loyal newsletter readers. Previous free reports include: The Frog Syndrome How To Cure Your Fear Of Women How To Change Other People s Image Of You How To Become A Smart Flirter Common Dating Blindspots And How To Avoid Them How To Overcome Your Breakup 12 Deadly Dating Mistakes Dating Mistakes From Readers: Volume 1 A Short Guide To Having Great Conversations How To Become a Ladies Man 10 Deadly Relationship Mistakes That Cause Breakups Archived copies of these old reports are available to paid members of my Smart D ating Course in the members area. Some may also be available on Dating Support Ce nter at: http://www.datingsupportcenter.com With that said, here are the ten stages that lead to a breakup. Note that the c hances of a breakup merely increases with each stage, but you do NOT need all st ages. Most breakups will have occurred by the time you get to the sixth and seve nth stage. Recognizing the signs and symptoms of each stage will help you gauge how much trouble your relationship is in.

Stage #1

Honeymoon Period Over

The honeymoon period is the period when you re first together and the chemistry is super high. You feel you know each other quite well but you haven t really seen e ach other s faults and problems yet. You can t keep your eyes and hands off each oth er when you meet. You both act extra flexible when it is necessary to make compr omises. Everything seems fresh, sexy, and fun. During this period, attraction is mostly from your raging hormones. Once the honeymoon period ends, reality will suddenly sink in. You will begin to s ee the flaws in each other. You may even wonder why you re together. It is hard to say how long the honeymoon period will last. Sometimes it only la st for a few days. Sometimes it lasts for a few months. But one thing is for sur e: it cannot last forever, so you want to build up your relationship before it e nds. The honeymoon periods usually ends because of one of the following factors: 1) Natural drop in hormones. (You cannot stop this. It will eventually happen!)

2) Falling into a routine. (And the drop of hormones when the uncertainty is tak en away.)

3) A big fight.

4) A sudden tragedy.

In a weak relationship, the ending of the honeymoon period is enough to cause a breakup or divorce. (Any celebrity marriages come into mind?) But if your relati onship is relatively normal and healthy, you shouldn t have to worry too much. While you cannot stop the honeymoon period from ending, you can use the followin g suggestions to transit to the comfort zone smoothly. Quick Suggestions: - Do not get together too quickly. The faster you get together, the faster you b reakup.

- Avoid setting into a routine. Keep things interesting.

- Do not stop being romantic. A good relationship requires time and effort.

- Learn proper relationship communication skills before you have your first big fight.

- Should a sudden tragedy happen, be supportive while giving your partner space.

Stage #2

Disappointment

Once the honeymoon period is over, a person may start to feel a tiny bit of dis appointment in their relationship. Imagine yourself dating someone you really like and then finding out they are com pletely different than the person you thought they were at the beginning. Do you think you d feel a bit disappointed? That s the feeling I am talking about. This stage is not deadly. Since we usually build up a person in our mental fant asies before we get into a relationship with them, it s normal for us to realize t hey are human after all once the honey moon is over. Still, we must be careful n ot to let the disappointment slip into a lack of romantic respect. As I say all the time, once the romantic respect is gone, it s going to be a slippery slope. The biggest danger in this stage lies with people who have acted differently (or manipulative) during a courtship and then reverted back to their original selves as soon as they have got a person. Quick Suggestions: - Avoid hiding or lying at the beginning of a relationship. Lying will backfire on you.

- Be congruent and consistent in your actions.

- Don t stop flirting, teasing, and acting like a challenge.

Stage #3

Loss of Romantic Respect

If the disappointment persists, it will eventually lead to a huge drop in roman tic respect. Romantic respect is a term I ve used in my Smart Relationships Course to describe the respect you may have for another person romantically. It is a different kin d of respect than the general respect you may have for that person. For example, a man may respect a woman romantically if she is beautiful and smart. But if sh e is too easy, then his romantic respect for her will automatically drop and he won t really care about her as long as he thinks he is above her. Similarly, a woman may respect a guy friend for being a hard working nice guy . But if he is too need

y and there s just no spark between him and her, then she won t have much romantic r espect for him even though she may like him as a friend. No romantic respect means no attraction, get it? In many breakup cases I ve worked with, a couple may still respect each other as friends or companions , but the attraction and romantic respect are gone. Quick Suggestions: - Keep acting like a challenge.

- Don t act needy.

- Give your partner space.

- Be ready to walk out of a bad relationship.

- Flirt and tease to keep the attraction high.

Stage #4

Regret, Anger and Resentment

This stage is an extension of stage two and three, and it is quite dangerous and harmful to a relationship. In stage #2, your partner may feel a tiny bit disappointed in the real you. That s okay as long as the romantic respect is still there. But as soon as the romanti c respect is gone, the disappointment may quickly turn into regret, anger, and r esentment. As humans, we all want to date someone we perceive as our equals. (Note: This is a perception, and may not reflect reality. For example, you can worship a woman who is not worth your time at all in reality. Or you can be annoyed by a nice g uy who you don t respect romantically but is actually a very good man for you.) So when we are stuck dating someone we don t really respect romantically, we may feel frustrated and grumpy. We may stay with the person because we want to be nice. B ut the guilt of knowing we don t actually love the person will continue to build u p until we finally blow up and dump the person. This is what leads to men and women suddenly running away, breaking up, and get ting a divorce out of nowhere. Quick Suggestions: - Continue to work on the romantic respect.

- Pull back a bit and see if your partner freaks out.

- Try going out on some great dates do.

even if you re married. Do things that lovers

Stage #5

Falling Out Of Sync

If the anger and resentment persists, then eventually your partner may start fal ling out of sync with you. They may find everything (and anything) you do annoying. They will suddenly beco me less flexible and more irritable. Romantic dinners and dates will become a th ing of the past. You ll be lucky if you can get them to watch the same television channel with you. If you have been in a troubled marriage, you should know what I am talking about.

Quick Suggestions: - See if romantic surprises still work and have a lasting effect.

- Try doing the things your partner enjoys with them while flirting and teasing.

- Reward

your partner (with compliments, etc) when they are flexible.

- Be willing to compromise.

- Start reading my Smart Relationships Course. You need it.

Stage #6

Stop of Physical Contact

Once your partner has started to fall out of love with you, they may want to st op pulling back from physical contact especially if they are female. It is very hard for a woman to be physically intimate with a man she does not l ove anymore. But it does not stop at physical intimacy. In time, she may even fe el annoyed or disturbed if she gets anything as simple as a hug from you. Most relationships will have broken up by this point. Yes, there are exceptions , such as in some marriages when a couple just has to stay together for the sake o r raising the kids. But even if the relationship isn t officially over, without an y physical contact, it is pretty much dead.

Quick Suggestions: - Don t try to get the physical contact back right away. Take small steps and work on the chemistry first. You ll need the romantic spark before you can attempt to advance with your touching.

- When you finally do try to advance with physical contact, don t ask for permission . Instead, lead and act casual. The more attention you bring to it, the more awk ward it will seem.

- Wait till your partner is tied and then just give them a massage or backrub wi thout asking.

- Read my Smart Relationship Course.

Stage #7

Stop of Communication

Once physical contact has been abolished, verbal communication (sometimes even arguments) will often stop as well. After all, when you have no physical intimacy or attraction at all, there isn t m uch to talk about. If you re not living together, you will probably be broken up by now. And if you re living together or have children, you may tolerate each other for the time being. Conversation topics will be everyday necessities that you guys can t avoid. Every thing else will be thrown out the window. Quick Suggestions: - Contact me if you haven t done so yet. Your situation is becoming hopeless.

- Try pulling back from the relationship and working on yourself. See if your pa rtner freaks out or cares.

- If they freak out when you pull back, start acting romantic and see if they re ciprocate.

Stage #8

Avoidance and Distance Preferred

As you can imagine, it is very weird to be in a relationship or living under th e same roof with someone you re not sleeping with or talking to. This is why once intimacy and communication stops, a person may prefer to avoid rather than confront issues. They may put a HUGE distance between you and them in order to protect themselves from any further emotional pain or unhappy feelin gs. Family and financial commitment may be keeping you together officially , but in re ality, the relationship is good as dead. At this stage, pulling back may not have an effect on your partner anymore. Cha nces are, they may not even notice it. Quick Suggestions: - Consider breaking up and then using my Reverse Your Breakup program to get you r partner back.

- Contact me if you haven t done so yet.

Stage #9

Feel Silly

Eventually, the faade of the relationship will start feeling silly. After all, y ou know the attraction is gone. You know the communication is non-existent. You know the relationship is pretty much dead. At this stage, it is very common for infidelity to occur. Both of you may feel the temptation to go out and seek other partners. Quick Suggestions: - Consider breaking up and then using my Reverse Your Breakup program to get you r partner back.

- Contact me if you haven t done so yet.

- Be careful about starting more relationship drama with third-parties. Consider breaking up or getting a divorce before you look.

- Get a lawyer ready if you re still married.

Stage #10

Given Up when one of you will fold the hand and give up o

By this time, it s just a matter of

n the relationship that has died a long time ago. Quick Suggestions: - Break up for now, and then use my Reverse Your Breakup program (http://www.rev erseyourbreakup.com) to get your partner back. - Don t push because the harder you push, the more you will push your partner away !

Want To Know More? Throughout this report, I have given you some quick suggestions on how you can pa tch your relationship at each stage. But of course, there is not enough room for me to give a lot of details in this short report. This is why if you are currently involved in a rough relationship or if you would simply like to improve your relationship and take things to the next level, the n you should download my new Smart Relationships Course at: http://www.smartrelationshipscourse.com It is packed with practical with information that you can use at this moment to save or improve your relationship. You will even get personal access to me so t hat I can help you fix your relationships. And after years of working as a datin g and relationship coach, I have seen just about every possible relationship sce nario in the world. So I am very confident I can help you with your case. Or, if you have already broken up but would still like to get your ex back, then you definitely should take a look at my Reverse Your Breakup program at: http://www.reverseyourbreakup.com It sill show you how to fix your relationship or get your ex back step by step.

Lastly, if you are a man who s looking for a girl, then sign up for my Smart Dati ng Course at: http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/ebook.html It has helped countless men from all over the world meet, attract, and date the kind of women they have always wanted to date, and I am sure it will help you t oo! - Marius Panzarella