By: betsisanders

Paintings from 2012 to 2013

Title: Woman & Flower
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
Size: 24 x 24 inches
Artist: betsisanders 2012

Wishes and dreams are two different things. A wish is something
your mind wants, needs or desires. A dream is something that
your heart or subconscious wants, needs or desires. When you
wish, you are unsure of the outcome. However, when you dream,
you have a clear picture of what you desire, you set your mind
and heart to achieving your goal, finally, fulfilling your dream.
You can let go of a wish but you can't let go of your dream, and
your dream won't let you go. (betsisanders 2012)

It was once a wish to learn how to paint, until it became a
fulfilled dream.

These two paintings were part of a group painting exhibit last
April 1 to 30, 2012 at Chef Jessie, Amorsolo Square, Amorsolo
Drive, Rockwell, Makati City. See you there!
Title: Ballerina in Motion
Size: 5 x 7 inches
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
[ my version, copied from an original painting ]
What to do, what to do at dawn, when sleep
evades me...
My kind of art, from an aspiring visual artist, a
newbie. "a Young newbie artist imitate, while
the professional ones steal!"

It's been more than ten years since I started
painting.... "To paint a picture" was part of
my bucket list. I was 40 then and my mom had
just died. Painting gave me the solace I
needed. Painting was hours of silence, breaks
from my crying episodes, that filled the
emptiness, alleviated my pain (physical
emotional and spiritual pain) and provided
comfort when no one else could.

I am not a gifted painter. I have not perfected
the techniques taught by my art teacher. I
lack the dexterity and the patience to create
detail, light and shadow, texture and depth. I
search the Internet for inspiration and then I
imitate, create my own version, add a 'bit' of
my style, sign the painting and claim it as my
own.

I am not a gifted writer. In every painting I
make and post in my blog, I write something
about it; something that happened to me that
day; my thoughts and feelings which may or
may not have anything to do with the painting
or just about anything that comes to my mind.

Simple paintings, simple words, when put
together become one, an expression of my
soul whom I have named betsisanders. /
betsisanders 2012

Finished simple art
work at dawn. Instead
of sulking and feeling
the pain, I sketch ,
draw and paint. Life
is a challenge but it
has always been good
to me!
Title: Naked Ballerina
Medium: Acrylic
Size: 5 x 7 inches
Artist: betsisanders
... my human
experience
What else can be more
human than pain?
Sleepless
nights, physical
pain, tears. (chronic
pain syndrome &
fibromyalgia). Today,
my body is challenged
with this most human
experience.

I create ... Thats how I
stop the pain.


My thoughts today ....Friends come and
go. I let go of some friendships. It was a
letting go of someone for my own good,
and in the process I gained something
better. I am relieved and glad that I
cropped those frenemies out of my life. I
am quite sure they feel the same way. I
had done them a favor. By letting
frenemies go, other friends are now back
in my life. I've made room for those who
matter now. By creating space, I allowed
others to fill up the holes those
frenemies created. It can be called
'weeding', or 'removing the chaff from
the grain', 'throwing out the bad seeds'.
'Amputations', 'cutting the cords',
'turning your back and never looking
back', 'closing the doors and keeping
them shut'! But what about with family?
Did the same thing but it is easier with
frenemies. There are no connections
that bind me with frenemies unlike with
family.

Art is the power of developing the soul. As I am at this moment of my life.... I shall
leave with you creations of betsisanders, my soul. Love my work or hate it... Display
it, keep it in your camphor chest, give it away, burn it or throw it. It doesn't matter.
I have given you the best gift. Each creation is a big part of myself . Stay well, be
well, and maybe, you shall remember me fondly, maybe we shall meet again some
time, somewhere, someday... if not in this lifetime, maybe in the next.

A lot of my FB friends liked the naked ballerina. OMG.. pressure! Hmmmm I have to
make something better, something different.. sooo stressful! ... I have to outdo my
own self, out shine my last work.

If you don't like the next few paintings, that's alright. Making them helped me
survive some sleepless nights, my painful episodes.... 14 trigger points due to
fibromyalgia acted up at the same time. I asked my son to rub my back, neck, arms
and hands and place cool blue ice gel. After a taking my meds, I hid under the
covers because it was too cold, then i dozed off to sleep. Shortly after, about thirty
minutes later, my medcines have taken effect and I am back to being 'normal'.
Functional enough to face the world again, able to smile and laugh, as if nothing
happened. Then I continue working on my art projects.

Thanks to technology, to those brilliant scientists, those intelligent doctors who are
able to manage my physical pain. May God bless you more, so more people may
benefit and be healed...... Love love love, betsisanders 2012

"I long for silences with another where there
is nothing to forgive or explain or justify,
where we agree to abandon quickly spoken
words for a time so we do not abandon
ourselves or each other, the silences where
no one asks me to choose between
belonging to myself and being with the
world. Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Don't you just love this piece from Oriah?
She puts together simple words so
beautifully. She doesn't use flowery,
oratorical words. She is not like other
writers who use highfaluting terms that are
often incomprehensible!.

Oriah talks about silence, a shared silence.
That is how friendships should be. To be
able to understand the other's silence is a
true test of friendship. Going for long
periods of time without a phone call, an SMS
or even an email from old friends, yet still
feel connected to each other. That kind of
friendship is priceless, precious. I thrive on
this kind of relationship.
These birds hum. Let us try to do that too.
Thirteen years ago, I was "enveloped with
overwhelming sadness" after my mom's
demise. That's when I started painting. There
were days when all I did was cry, and it
lasted for an entire month.... Until
one morning, I heard myself humming a
tune, that's when I realized that Ive healed.
One of the authors I quoted in my blog said,
"Find Joy in what you do and sing it out.
betsisanders 2013

To laugh as often as I can
To giggle or chuckle
.. not whimper, sob or weep
.. and hope to never shed another tear.
To grab every chance on happiness
To dance to the music that life plays
To sing or hum along with life's melodies
To receive all that life gives me
To accept, even if it breaks my heart
To learn from these heartaches
To grab every opportunity to make myself a better,
more caring and more loving individual,
To gain and benefit from life's blessings
To endure the suffering caused by failed relationships
To bear the pain from the holes in my heart
To allow others to mend and fill up these holes
To heal and forgive fast

To never be angry, hurt, or lonely
To never despair or lose hope
To love more those beautiful persons who love me back
To not fear death, instead ... start living
To want or desire some things
... and let the universe help in obtaining all these wishes
To pray and always be thankful
To someday be with loved ones who have gone ahead
To take my place, my reserved seat, beside my Creator
To be remembered by you
To be kept in your heart always
To know that my purpose and journey
Has brought meaning in your life.
So dear friend, stay safe
When the time comes that I cannot be with you
Keep me in your heart
.... remember me in every drop of rain
That's me, crying ... every teardrop comes from my loving heart.

/ betsisanders