Editors Note

Dont judge a book by its cover, or so the saying

goes.
If you ask me, an important second part should be
added to the adage: dont judge a book by its size.
For as long as I can remember, Ive always been
completely engrossed by thin texts; quarter-inch
novellas and short stories that barely extend past a
page. There is something remarkable about a piece
of writing that can completely grab you in a short
span of time and space. Its this preoccupation that
propelled me to begin Miniature Magazine, an infor-
mal idea hashed over with a few friends that spiraled
into a real, existing project. And I am completely
delighted to introduce you to our rst issue.
When I contemplated the idea of a magazine for
shorter writings, I thought size would be the sole
unifying element. But as submissions came in, I was
surprised to see a clear common thread. Among oth-
er things, in this issue, youll see artists and writers
focusing on the notions of family and relationships
in ways both sincere and comical, subtle and overt.
We hope you enjoy.
- CK
Contents
1 Preface by Sebastian Castillo
2 Teleprompt by Kim Harrison
4 In Theory by Karolina Manko
6 Tip of the Beaker by Ducky Rumplatz
8 My Taste in Men Started Young by Joanna Valente
10 Nancy & Some Dogs by Amy Eisenberg
12 This Little Piece by Caroline Weber
15 Women Loves Lucy and Lucy Loves Them by Brianna Leone
19 Unrealistic Wishlist by Carolyn Keogh
1
Preface
by Sebastian Castillo
My son asks me what I think about the idea of including a preface in his novel.
I say that its a ne idea. He says that it wont be a normal preface, the kind that
gives the reader a bit of context, either aesthetic, biographic, or otherwise, but
a preface thats more of the novel than the novel itself; a preface that basically
explains the novel before the readers even read the rst sentence; a preface that
would essentially render the reading of the actual novel a moot and repetitive
task. Maybe the reader would even be encouraged to stop reading after the
preface. I tell him that Macedonio Fernndez has already done it, or something
like it, that he wrote a book with something like fty prefaces, all of which are
interesting pieces of writing on their own, and certainly more interesting than
the actual novel, though the novel is good, too. My son doesnt care. I think
plagiarism is the highest art form, he says to me. I tell him that hes still young,
but really, hes not. Hes fty. Too young to die, some would say (I would), but
not too young to write a novel; if anything, its probably the best age to write a
novel. Either way, my son is no longer alive. Which is how I came to write his
preface, which is really my way of nally writing the novel that I wish I had at
fty, and then at sixty, and seventy, and so on. The thing is, a father can only
explain his son so well, and Im afraid that my preface will render his book either
unintelligible, or disgusting, or maybe just uninteresting. Remember: the son
doesnt ask the father to be born, but the father prays the son will not die before
him, and when the incomprehensible happens, when the son dies before the
father, the sons life becomes incomprehensible, it becomes a chapter wedged
into the parameters of a life which has made itself unintelligible. It would be a lie
if I were to say that my preface werent a bit biographical, as you can well read.
3
Teleprompt
By Kim Harrison
Thank you for holding. We value your call.
You have opted out from special telephone
offers.
You no longer need worry about receiving
unsolicited phone calls from: telemarketers,
public interest research groups, politicians,
talkative neighbors, estranged aunts,
pollsters, teamsters, gymnasts, alumni
organizations, co-workers, guys you met
once at the bar, belligerent alcoholic exes,
exes trying to reconnect, any exes for that
matter, sweepstakes, repair shops, vague
acquaintances, fake friends, or insurance
salesmen. So next time your inbox pings
or your phone rings, dont wince. It wont
be a poll, or spam, or a work-related luau
invitation. You wont be coerced into
donating money. Youre free to sit at home,
alone, without fear of social contact. Next
time your phone rings, it wont.
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In Theory
By Karolina Manko
Back in kindergarten I stood in line during recess
waiting to sip juice from a ladle in a bucket. That is
what communism does to a country.
I was a 1st grader when John asked me
why my mother smoked and how come I never
went to the Daddy Dances. All the girls had a crush on him
because his father owned a pizza shop. He kissed Pretty Ashley
during recess once, and every Friday after that
Johns father brought our class 2 pepperoni pies.
Thats called Democracy.
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Tip of the Beaker
By Ducky Rumplatz
Im not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go
for hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward
If onlyAh, those were thewell, you know, it just doesnt
have the same pith nowadays. I look back wistfully to a timea
quick nip with Auntie Talley, then off toit didnt really matter
whereA languorous day, a heavily soaked one that absolutely
revolved around a tip of this or that, all served at appropriately
correct times, for appropriately apt reasons. Brunch? Denitely!
Good God no, not for the French eggs or cont, but for the cocktail,
you ninny
A Variation on the Aviation
Of course as we all know, the original recipe called for gin,
but Im not one for belligerence. Who wants to throw rocks
at their grandmother
With your ice lled cocktail shaker at the ready add:
1 1/2 oz. Gray Goose vodka
1/2 oz. lemon juice, freshly squeezed
2 dashes elderberry liqueur
1 maraschino cherry, dropped into the bottom of your
chilled Martini glass
Shake, pour, repeatand repeatand
(The Aviation was created in the early twentieth century by
head bartender Hugo Ensslin at the Hotel Wallick in New
York at Broadway and 43rd. The recipe called for 1 oz. El
Bart gin, oz. lemon juice, 2 dashes maraschino liqueur,
and 2 dashes crme de violette, a violet liqueur which gives
the cocktail a pale sky-blue color.)

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My Taste in Men
Started Young
By Joanna Valente
I never saw my father cry
until our dog died. He hated
tobacco, drank only gin & tonics
at weddings. Notoriously heavy-footd
around the house-fngers riffed
dragons, sang guitar.
For him, I kept each toe in line,
evolution salting my arteries
waiting for new ornaments to grow
on our Christmas tree. Every few
years he laughs and I am pulled out.
Heard him scream on the other side
of the house, the hummingbirds
are gone.
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Nancy & Some Dogs
By Amy Eisenberg
NANCY! Dont touch that dog! Gabe barked at his daughter.
Yeah, what are you thinking, Nance? Jeez, no brains in that kid, said Paula, Gabes
wife.
The dog was old with bald spots and had wandered past the family without a human
companion.
WHY NOT!? Nancy whined to her parents.
'Because it`s flthy! You don`t know what`s wrong with it, it could have rabies or
some shit! Paula said, disinterested. Gabe turned to Nancy, who was watching the dog
sniff a mailbox.
sides, that thing could bite your little ass right in half.
Gabe made a menacing face.
Can I have a puppy then? Nancy pleaded, pouting at her father.
Several weeks later, Nancy was walking her new, little puppy. It was white and small
and had a pink sweater and a collar and a glinting gold tag. The old dog wandered by
Nancy again. He noticed the new little doggie and thought he might have a sniff.
When he got near, Nancy could smell him. She could see his black and yellow teeth.
GO AWAY! YOURE FILTHY! Nancy screeched.
The old dog sensed that she was upset and casually walked away, taking a last glance at
the little white dog. Nancy knelt down next to her puppy and pet its soft head.
Dont worry. I wont let that ugly, old dog near you again, Princess, she promised.
The little white dog bit her in the face and scarred her for life.
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This Little Piece
By Caroline Weber
Sometimes I go in your old house, my dad and me. Its okay,
no ones ever there and its not really your house anymore. Its
usually colder on the inside than it is on the outside. Sometimes
theres no light but sunlight concentrated rays glowing in
darkness. Sometimes there is just one lamp to each room; I can
switch it on. Sometimes the house looks like its straight out
of the 1970s; lime green rugs, bright foral wallpaper, and fake
plants. Well, that went out of style. What were you
doing since then? Sometimes theres nothingbut
dust. Theres mold in the bathroom and rotting mayo
in the fridge. The basement is dark as night and the
paint is chipping in every room. Those antique light
fxtures are worth a fortune, but not in that condition.
I could follow a crack in and out of the house.
Sometimes youve left everything. I dont know why
and I wish I could give it all a new life. You left it all?
How could you? I bet you never wanted to. You had
to. Why would you want this end for everything? All
your physical memories are now just ghostly residue
covered in the dust you left along with them. But
dont worry. Ill appreciate them before they see the
trash. Maybe Ill even fetch them from the trash. Ill
give them a new home.
Do you remember now? That golden light pouring
through a faded, misty memory? Its pretty fuzzy,
I know, but it looks warm. I guess its only half the
experience.or less. Dust foating in sun streaks,
morning dew and soft breezes. Your mom cooing you
out of sleep, watching you from the kitchen window
as you play in the fowers. Dad putting his socks on
in the living room in front of the television. Your
frst cat that probably didn`t like you all that much. I
remember now. I found your old memories and pieced
together mine. Maybe theyre yours too. Who can
really be sure?
What are they now? Surrogates for our broken hearts?
Survivors of fre, wind, water, and time? They burned
away, blew away, washed away, wasted away. Theyre
dirt! Nothing! Arent they?
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Women Loves Lucy
and Lucy Loves Them
By Brianna Leone
[I Love Lucy] changed the Monday night viewing habits of America. Between nine and
nine-thirty, taxis disappeared from the streets of New York. Telephone calls across
the nation dropped sharply during that half hour, as well as the water fush rate.[1] It is
irrelevant whether or not I Love Lucy star Lucille Ball was hyperbolizing the power the
popularity of her series held over Americans for the duration of its timeslot every week
when she stated the above in her autobiography Love, Lucy. It is certain that I Love Lucy
and its illustrious star had the nation hooked and would maintain possession of their
adoration for generations to come. Any embellishments from Ball about her success,
therefore, did not stray far from the truth.
From 1951 until 1957 the series provided a female-centric comedy that, through its
protagonist Lucy Ricardo, gave voice to the discontented housewives of America who
would kick-start their own revolution the following decade. I Love Lucy utilized the
housewife archetype in the reality of the 1950s and created entertainment from it by
developing Lucy Ricardo as a woman unafraid to test the boundaries of her homebound
containment.[2] By diverting them from what Americans were told was the ideal lifestyle
they should seek to attain, Lucys plans were mostly ill-conceived and always doomed. Of
course, her preordained failure and the ensuing havoc is what made her so funny to watch.
Considering the time frame of I Love Lucy and its position as one of the most popular
television shows of all time, the series demands to be analyzed from a feminist perspective.
I Love Lucy and its celebrated protagonist are representative of the binds and misery of
housewifery that were the basis of Betty Friedans The Feminine Mystique, the much
lauded and pioneering feminist text which just celebrated its 50th anniversary. It ignited
the Womens Movement in the 1960s and 1970s and described the problem that has no
name, which Friedan attributed to the cultural and personal containment that kept women
bound to home and hearth, which simultaneously offered protection and imprisonment.[3]
There was no rhetoric available to women of this period to discuss or analyze their often-
silent suffering and the cultural celebration of containment and of presenting an image of
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woman give Ethel an understanding of Lucys motivations that Ricky cannot access. Prior
to settling down into her role as landlady, Ethel enjoyed a career in vaudeville alongside
Fred and so while her past and her maturity over Lucy do not motivate her to dissent against
her husband or social dictations of her role as housewife, she has an appreciation for Lucys
burning drive to take ownership of her life and feel the satisfaction that only autonomy can
bring her. Rickys restrictions do not emerge out of cruelty but his love for his wife. But this
still does not enable him to understand why Lucy engages in her crazy schemes week after
week. Only another woman can act with her in solidarity and, as a unit, can and will pursue
intersecting interests. This theme of female camaraderie in I Love Lucy is deeply connected
to the development of the Womens Movement that emerged from the commonality of
oppression middle-class American women addressed in the 1960s.
I Love Lucy and its protagonist Lucy Ricardo demanded to be examined to discover the
reason behind their everlasting attraction for audiences. Given their immense popularity
over the last sixty-one years and counting, writings on Lucy and Lucy are not in short
supply but among Lucy scholars there is little discussion regarding the feminism present
in the show. Although it was not directly addressed in the content of the episodes, Lucy
Ricardo was an empowering proto-feminist fgure. She gave middle-class women of the
1950s a position center stage. Although she was consistently thwarted in her battles against
homebound discontent, the placement of a woman as the focus of this domestic comedy
provided a vicarious fgure of rebellion and a comrade in oppression for housewives. Lucy
offered these women visual representation for their own narrative instead of just portraying
them as supporting cast members to their husbands and children.
[1] Lucille Ball, Love, Lucy (New York: Berkley Boulevard, 1997), 176-7.
[2] Elaine Tyler May, Homeward Bound: American Families in the Cold War Era (New
York: Basic Books, 2008), 108. [Emancipated] women outside the home might unleash
the very forces that would result in a collapse of the one institution that seemed to offer
protection: the home. So women donned their domestic harnesses. But in their efforts
to live according to the codes of domestic containment, they were bound to encounter
diffculty. Only later did they discover how uncomfortable those harnesses could be.
[3] Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique (New York: W.W. Norton and Company, 2001),
57.
bliss and happiness to the outside world. Part of the anguish of these women stemmed from
feeling that they were alone in their discontent. Lucy Ricardo visually provided a sense of
sisterhood that American women would demonstrate they needed in the following decades
through social organizations and movements.
While television serves as a form of escapism, there is a knowing familiarity for middle-
class, white, female viewers who saw the humdrum that colored their own lives as
housewives and mothers. These were women who were being informed by national rhetoric
that their own American Dream should be the suburban perfection of PTA meetings,
laundry, cooking and cleaning with all the benefts of modern household technology.
The problem was that all of those activities only served others and did nothing to beneft
their own happiness. Lucy Ricardo understood this culturally encouraged entrapment
and combated it weekly. Because, despite the instance of the dominant cultural-historical
narrative that the ideal of femininity was serving the happiness of others, namely a womans
husband and children, housewives across America were struggling to conceal their despair.
Lucy`s adventures - or misadventures - transformed the titular character into a fgure
for discontented 1950s American housewives to live through vicariously. Without the
language or the community yet to examine their unhappiness and restlessness in a world
of growing prosperity to which they were now privileged, Lucy Ricardo was a paragon for
these women. Although she always ended up back where she began in the home Lucy
Ricardo acted out a fantasy for housewives across the United States through her harebrained
schemes to break into show business and to create her own narrative outside of her modest
New York City apartment. Lucy could have her escapades and engage in outlandish plots
because she was fctional and always returned to the safety of her home. Additionally,
female audiences could be entertained by her mishaps without feeling guilty. Enjoying and
joining Lucy in her adventures, the female viewer could take comfort in knowing that in
the last act of the episode the protagonist would revert to the world that both character and
spectator knew best. Even if they still retained a desire to explore the world independent of
their families, their individual confnement to their homes also bound them to one another.
Lucys relationship with Ethel mimics that between her and her viewers. While she
fnds herself controlled in her marriage, with Ethel, Lucy has unconditional support. In
considering Lucy Ricardo as a proto-feminist fgure, her bond with Ethel is paramount to
the discussion. Rickys authoritative position over her creates insurmountable obstacles in
Lucys relentless quests to pursue her goals and dreams. As her best friend and a similarly
discontented housewife, Ethel joins Lucy`s rebellion. Her identities as friend, confdant and
19
Unrealistic
Wishlist
By Carolyn Keogh
A cuddle machine.
Six thousand pork buns.
A chocolate chip cookie-dispensing robot.
A eld full of daisies that will t in my
pocket.
A sh that talks in life-afrming limericks.
Stainless-steel, bulletproof clogs.
A miniature pony dressed in drag.
A hologram of Lil Bub.
A bottle of Crystal infused with dinosaur
DNA.
Endless beef empanadas.
A canoe thats equipped for space travel.
A t-shirt made from Fruit Rollups with a
Journey logo on it.
Magnetic Incan costume jewelry.
Glittery sebaceous glands.
A crab that walks forward and with a whole
lot of sass.
Bubblegum Buddha statues.
Pink pleather carpets.
The ability to transcend space, time, and
logic in a sensible pair of pumps.
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About the Cover
Olivia OHalloran
The relationship I had with my grandfather was something that I can
never replace. He may be gone but the impact that he has made on
my life will never change. He was an untrained, raw artist. My work
is based on his memory and the familys. The series from which the
cover image is taken is about life, love, and death. Each piece is a
scanned letter or something physical to hold onto the far and few
moments that we take the time to put pen to paper.
The image of the two drawn cartoon people is something that
my grandfather would write on letters. He would say it is my
grandmother and him. Its the little things that we can look back on
and smile about.
Matthew Van Asselt
Matthew Van Asselt is a printmaker living
and working in New York. His multi-layer
silkscreen prints play with an underlying
utopian drive, examining value systems
through the interaction of built and
natural environment. He can be found at
matthewvanasselt.com.
Sebastian Castillo
Sebastian Castillo lives in Mount Vernon,
NY. He can be found here: twitter.com/
bartleby_taco.
Amy Eisenberg
For a good time, call Amy: 1-800 GET
LOST.
John Graziosa
John Graziosa is from the Bronx. You can
fnd some of his drawings here: redgraz.
tumblr.com.
Kim Harrison
Kim Harrison is a musician and music
teacher living in New Paltz, NY. In
addition to music she enjoys hiking,
crocheting, embroidering, and writing.
Carolyn Keogh
Carolyn Keogh is an art history addict and
sometimes-writer.
Brianna Leone
Brianna Leone loves television and
movies and sometimes helps make them.
In the meantime she teaches teenagers
grammar and how to not be so surly all the
time. If you would like to give her a craft
beer recommendation or talk about your
love of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler you
will regret it because she will never leave
you alone about any of those topics ever
again.
Michelle Longo
Michelle Longo is a New York-based
photographer and graphic designer who
rolled her eyes at that clich just as
much as you did. She can be found at
michellelongo.com.
Karolina Manko
Karolina Manko is the patron saint of
naps. When shes not writing poems, shes
obsessively watching The Food Network.
Follow her on Twitter: @k_manks.
Nina Mulewski
Nina Mulewski is just a girl who grew up
in the burbs trying to make something
with her life that people will remember
her by or get them to think. The greatest
muse she has is her family; without them
she wouldnt be who she is or where she
is today. She is currently completing her
senior year at The School of Visual Arts in
New York and trying to live everyday to
its fullest!
Olivia OHalloran
Olivia OHalloran is a twenty-two-year
old daughter, friend, photographer, beach
bum, boater, Long Islander, and one
big smiling face. She can be found at
oliviaohalloran.com and
@OliviaOHalloran.
Antonio Pulgarin
Antonio Pulgarin is a Colombian born
artist based in New York City. He can be
found at antoniopulgarin.com
Ducky Rumplatz
Adandy, a drinkerDucky can be found
at the local bar, tavern, or taproom.
Lauren Sumida
Lauren Sumida is a Washingtonian-New
Yorker based in Abu Dhabi, UAE. She
naps a lot and sleeps a lot and dozes a lot.
Her last name translates as 'feld of ink
in Japanese, so good thing she draws with
pens a lotto use upall that ink
Joanna C. Valente
Joanna C. Valente is an MFAcandidate in
Poetry Writing at Sarah Lawrence College,
where she is also a part-time mermaid. She
founded and currently edits Yes, Poetry.
She can be found at joannavalente.com.
Caroline Weber
Caroline graduated from The School of
Visual Arts. She is interested in what
other people call junk and will continue to
photograph, sculpt, and paint it wherever
she ends up.
Contributors