IT CAN WAIT

MODULE ON PREMARITAL SEX AND

ABSTINENCE FOR TEENAGERS

Designed by
BIEN ELI NILLOS, MD
Doctor to the Barrio
Municipality of Candoni,
Negros Occidental
Department of Health

(This module was designed exclusively for the summer youth camp of the
young people of the municipality of Candoni, Negros Occidental. Any
similarities with other modules or retreats are purely coincidental and
unintentional)

Copyright © 2009
It Can Wait: Saying Yes to Life and No to
Premarital Sex
A Youth Camp Guide for Facilitators
Introduction

Sex is good. It is good because it is a God-given gift. It has its origins from God. The
Christian Bible tells us that on the day of Creation, God told His creatures to “go forth
and multiply and replenish the earth.” The same mandate was given to Adam and Eve,
when God presented Eve, the First Woman, to Adam, the First Man. “This is bone of my
bones and flesh of my flesh,” uttered Adam, and since then they consummated their union
as husband and wife.

Sex is a Divine gift and like every gift, it comes with a responsibility. Sex, in the first
place, was “invented” by God in order to increase the human species. Unlike lower forms
of animals, which have a crude way of multiplying, the human act of sexual intercourse
involves not only hormones which swell up into so-called instincts but also emotional
and rational actions, grounded on human experiences, values, and most of all, freewill.
Freewill, like sex, is another divine gift. And unlike lower creatures, only humans were
given freewill.

It is no surprise therefore that when God granted the gift of sex, he gave it within the
context of marriage, within the union of a man and woman. He must have therefore
desired that the act of sex must initiate not only the propagation of the species but also
the nurturing of the offspring. It is not enough therefore that humans get pregnant and
deliver babies. The responsibility does not end there. Once a baby is delivered into the
world, all attention is given towards the baby. The family provides for the baby’s physical
and even emotional needs. The end desire is to form a human being that is an effective
member of the human society.

Sex therefore demands from both man and woman the commitment to love one another,
in order to form a family, which would provide for the offspring, who will later become a
new responsible member of the larger human family. While sex is the ultimate expression
of love between a man and a woman, it is not the only reason for it.

Unfortunately, the contemporary world has somewhat distorted this original idea of sex.
Sex has been made almost too casual, too commercialized, that it becomes an act that
would only satisfy the “hormonal” and emotional needs of the persons involved. The idea
of it being a gift to us as “Co-creators” has been lost, amidst the distortion of sex. Sex has
become a commodity. It is therefore common to hear of terms such as “casual sex” or
“one-night stands”. We often hear in songs or movies lines such as, “I don’t love you; I
just want to make love with you.”

The victims of such distortions are becoming younger and younger. It is no surprise
therefore that present data would show that a large part of the Filipino youth is into
premarital sex. A few of them are into polygamous relationships. Some would even admit
that they had sex to satisfy curiosity or because of pressures to prove their “love” for one
another.

The result of such actions would lead to unwanted pregnancies. A few of these unwanted
pregnancies would lead to self-induced abortions. A large part of these self-induced
abortions would lead to complications such as bleeding or even infection. For those
young females who would keep their babies, complications such as preeclampsia or
cephalopelvic disproportions and other complications of pregnancy, would be the
common encounters.

The entry of contraceptive methods and accessibility to these artificial methods has only
answered the wrong problem. The problem is not that these young people are not safe
from the risks of unprotected sex. The problem is that these young people have imprinted
in their minds a distorted concept of sex. If left uncorrected, whether or not they practice
safe sex, these young people will not appreciate the value of responsibility and the
principle of delayed gratification and self-discipline. The rational aspect of our humanity
is left un-flexed, and will later atrophy and become non-existent. We become no more
than the lower forms of animals: instinct-based.

Objectives

Gathering the young people in a fertility awareness campaign aims to:

1. Increase the knowledge of the young people about their sexuality: the anatomy,
physiology and psychology of their human body, particularly the reproductive
system and the changes a young boy and a young girl would undergo especially
during puberty stage.
2. Increase the knowledge of the young people about the miracle of pregnancy: the
fetal development and the changes experienced by a pregnant woman during and
after her pregnancy.
3. Increase their openness to discuss about sex: their impressions, social issues
concerning about sex, the realities they see in relation to sex and the consequences
of sex.
4. Increase their understanding about the purpose of sex, the dynamics of
relationships and how a young gentleman and a young lady must act in order to
avoid the complications of non-sexual and sexual risk behaviors.
5. Encourage the young people to adapt a mentality that is pro-life, to say no to
abortion, and to wait for the right time and right reason to commit to do the sexual
act.

Participants

Participants involved in this one-day session are those aging 13-22 years old (high school
and college students), male or female, with any religious or ethnic background, coming
from any economic class of society.
What Should Facilitators Do?

The facilitator’s job is important. He or she must be fully aware of the objectives of this
activity and must also adhere to the same principles of this session. This is to ensure the
credibility of the facilitator.

Who can facilitate? What are the qualities of a good facilitator? A facilitator must be:
1. Open – throughout the activity, the facilitator must not be judgmental but rather
must be open, inviting trust from the participants to be truthful and open.
2. Sincere – throughout the activity, the facilitator must show empathy towards the
participants and must be authentic and honest about what they feel or think.
3. Interested – throughout the activity, the facilitator must show interest towards the
participants. Each participant has a story to tell or a question he or she might be
afraid to ask. A facilitator must show interest, maintaining eye contact always, in
order to elicit trust from the participants and allow them to freely share their
feelings and thoughts throughout the activity.
4. Leaders – throughout the activity, the facilitators must initiate the workshops and
discussions. Facilitators must also know how to take control especially when it
comes to time management and discipline among the participants. Good leaders
however are also good listeners, therefore, facilitators must be sensitive to the
needs of the participants and must also be keen on problems arising from the
sessions.

Pre-Youth Camp Facilitators’ Session

It is important that those who wish to volunteer as facilitators must undergo a pre-youth
camp facilitator’s session. During this pre-youth camp session, facilitators and organizers
discuss the objectives of the camp, the activities of the camp and would also simulate the
activities of the camp. It is also important that the facilitators themselves must also strip
themselves of their judgments and pre-conditions prior to the camp, in order for them to
effectively act as facilitators.

During the pre-youth camp session, data and facts are presented to the facilitators and
brief run-downs of the lectures are also shared with the facilitators. In this way, the
facilitators are also being equipped with the knowledge that they can easily share and
impart with their fellow youth.

Planning is also done during the pre-youth camp session, especially organizing the venue,
inviting the participants, and preparing for the materials and tapping people needed
during the entire camp.
Flow of Activities for the Youth Camp
Activities can be re-arranged depending on the choice of the organizers or
facilitators. Flexibility is the key in order to ensure the attention and interest
of the participants.

Time Activity Set-up

7:00 a.m. Start of Registration of Participants Camp site entrance

8:00 a.m. Youth Rally/Caravan Town plaza

9:00 a.m. Formal Opening Ceremonies Camp Site

10:00 a.m. Getting to Know You Camp Site

First Plenary Session
Activity: “The Human Bingo”

10:30 a.m. Setting up Camp Camp Site

Activity: “Founding The Camp”
Brief Orientation of Rules of Camp

11:30 a.m. Preparation for Lunch and Lunch Activities Camp site

12:00 noon Lunch Camp site

1:00 p.m. Instructions prior to Afternoon ActivitiesCamp site

1:30 p.m. Division of Camps (Boys and Girls) Classrooms/big tents

Lecture 1: “Puberty: Big Changes”
Open Forum

2:30 p.m. Lecture 2: “Pregnancy: Miracle of Life” Classrooms/big tents

Open Forum

3:30 p.m. Second Plenary Session Camp Site

Activity: “Games of the Genders”

5:00 p.m. Small group discussion Camp Site

Lecture 3: “Let’s Talk About Sex”

6:00 p.m. Preparation for Dinner and Dinner activities

7:00 p.m. Dinner

8:00 p.m. Bonfire Ceremony and Pledges Camp site

9:00 p.m. Social Night

-----
7:00 a.m. Send Off Ecumenical Prayer Service
Camp Rules
These rules are to be announced during the orientation of the participants.
Copies of the rules can also be distributed days before the camp.

1. All participants are to register during the registration time. A pre-registration form
has been handed out to sponsoring youth organizations days before the Youth
Camp. Upon registration, the participant will be given an I.D. card which he or
she must wear all throughout the activity. Only participants with I.D. will be
allowed to enter the camp.
2. No participants are allowed to leave the camp throughout the duration of the
activity. All participants are to eat and sleep within the premises of the camp. A
separate camp for boys and girls will be set up. No boys are allowed in the girl’s
camp and vice versa. Chaperones are appointed to strictly enforce this rule.
3. Each participant must bring the following: ballpen, handkerchief, beddings
(sleeping bag), personal necessities (toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, etc),
medications (if necessary), extra clothes, slippers, eating utensils, packed lunch,
snacks and canned goods. Each delegation must also bring the following: tent,
cooking utensils, food and water.
4. Each delegation must have an Officer-in-charge who shall take responsibility for
their delegates. The OIC shall also act as representative of the delegation during
meetings.
5. The following things are not to be brought inside the camp: alcohol, magazines,
cigarettes, drugs, TV, radio, computer, pets and other things that might distract the
participants.
6. We eat, sleep, play and learn together in the camp. All participants are required to
attend all lectures and activities of the camp.
7. A first-aid station will be set up in case some participants may not be feeling well.
Participants to the youth camp are to be assumed however that they are physically
and mentally fit for this activity.
8. Participants are discouraged from bringing and using cellphones, jewelries,
watches and large amounts of money and other valuables. Facilitators and
organizers of the camp are not to be held responsible for any losses or damages.
9. All participants must show respect; respect to property and to fellow participants
and facilitators. Any damage to property will be paid by those responsible.
10. All participants are encouraged to be open and honest. Confidentiality is assured
of every participant who wish to share his thoughts and feelings during the
discussions.
11. No smoking or drinking of alcohol inside the camp and all throughout the
duration of the activity.
12. Any participant who is found violating any of the rules will be removed from the
camp and will not be allowed to enter the camp and participate.
13. Any participant below 18 years old is required to bring a duly-signed parental
consent form.
14. Do not forget to have fun.
Group Activity: The Human Bingo
All participants must join this activity. It is included during the pre-orientation
activity of the Youth Camp.

Pre-activity Set-up: Participants are to be gathered in an open field where they can freely
roam. They are to be told that they must put their bags aside and must only bring with
them their pens. An appropriate music can be played during the start of the activity.

Instructions: Each participant is to be given a Human Bingo Sheet. In each box is a

description of a physical or behavioral characteristic. They must first write their name at
the back of the sheet. As soon as the signal is given, each participant must seek out a
fellow participant in the group and have them write their name on the box which
appropriately describes them. The participants must complete their human bingo within
the specified time. Fifteen minutes will be enough for the participants. Emphasize that
they must WRITE their names legibly and NOT SIGN it.

Special Instruction: The Human Bingo sheet must contain 25 different names. No two
boxes should have similar names. In other words, one person cannot sign in two or more
boxes on the same sheet. Human Bingo Sheets that violate this special rule will have
corresponding penalties.

Sample Human Bingo Sheet:

Gwapo (boy) Gwapa (girl) Taas ilong Laba buhok May bigote
(girl) (boy)
Alam (boy) Palabasa libro Hilig sa music Boyish (girl) Athletic (boy)
(girl)

Religious Hipuson (boy) Mysteriosa Corny mag Palakadlaw

(girl) jokes
Palaka-on Nami mag Palalagaw Naga-higugma Pisan
kanta (boy) na.
Born Leader Sagad mag luto Dako muscles Nami mata Good friend

Post activity: Facilitators are to collate the names for each box and report to the big group
in the latter part of the camp who has the most votes for each box, e.g. The Most
Religious, The Most Gwapo/Gwapa.
Group Activity: Setting Up Camp
All participants must join this activity. This is the first plenary activity, usually
conducted prior to lunch time or after the orientation.

Pre-activity Set-up: All participants are to be gathered in an open field. They are to be
told to bring with them their luggage (beddings, tents, mats, etc). Announce to the big
group that all boys must stay on one side and all girls to stay on the other side of the field.

Instructions: As soon as the big group has been divided according to gender, give the
participants 5 minutes to get to know the names of each member of the group. After five
minutes, tell the group that the activity is called setting up Camp. The camp will be
divided into two camps: Boys and Girls. Each camp will be given only 60 minutes to
accomplish a list of tasks:

Task List:
___ Set up Big Tent (tents) For the Group
___ Design and Put Up a Camp Flag Using the Cloth and Paints provided
___ Name your Camp (Put up the Name of your camp)
___ Prepare Camp Lunch
___ Elect A Camp Leader (Big Brother/Big Sister)
___ Prepare A Camp Song/Yell (To be performed During Lunch)

The group who gets their list done gets a prize for the camp. Facilitators will judge the
best Camp Song, best Flag and best Camp. Participants can only use the materials they
have brought with them. They could not utilize the materials or equipments or properties
which belong to the school/venue in order to augment their camp. They must be
resourceful and creative.

Special Task: Each camp will be given 6 colored flaglets (red for the boys, blue for the
girls). The special task is to “steal” all 6 flaglets from the opposing camp. The group who
stole the most flaglets after an hour and all the camps have been set up gets to be The
Boss. The Boss can get to order the opposing team whatever penalty they would want the
opposing team to do. After all the camps have been set, no boy is allowed to be in the
girl’s camp or vice versa.
Checklist for Facilitators
The checklist must be reviewed during the pre-youth camp orientation of all
facilitators and youth volunteers. A committee must also take charge of
making sure that all of the following are complete before the day of the
actual youth camp. Nevertheless, a facilitator must be resourceful and
creative. Preparations for the youth camp need not be expensive, although
an ample budget may help. It is suggested that corporate sponsorships can
also be solicited from local companies. A committee must also be formed
that would track down and receive all of these solicitations and make sure to
account and liquidate all the expenses to ensure transparency.

Materials Needed By Facilitators:

1. printed materials/lecture guides for participants
2. ballpens
3. TV sets (preferably two)
4. Computer or Laptop with Projector for visual aids
5. Sound system, which includes microphone
6. Appropriate music
7. Facilitator’s guide manual for each activity
8. Firewood, match, and bucket of water for bonfire ceremony
9. First aid kit
10. personal beddings/mattresses
11. personal necessities
12. registration table and chairs
13. registration forms and I.D. (if available; if unavailable, may use name tags)
14. vigil candles
15. flashlights
16. Streamers and banners to be posted within and outside the camp
17. personal food and water supply
18. pledge bracelets (if available)
19. Manila Papers and blackboard for graffiti wall.
20. Pentel Pens
21. Flaglets (6 reds and 6 blues)
22. Flour cloth, washable paints, paint brushes for camp flags
23. Extra bond papers

Should new activities be included other than those listed in the manual, facilitators must
be flexible enough to provide the needed materials or props associated with those said
activities.

Printed Materials will include:

1. Pre-camp and post-camp survey forms
2. Human Bingo Sheet
3. Lecture Guides
4. Camp Rules
5. Prayer Service Forms
Lecture One: Puberty – Big Changes
Boys and girls will have separate rooms and separate lecturers. Although
both lectures will be the same, the boys’ lecture will have emphasis on
Physical secondary sexual characteristics, particularly changes in the
genitalia. The girls’ lecture will have emphasis on the normal menstrual
cycle.

Needed Materials: Audiovisual Presentation of Lecture and lecture notes.

Time Duration: Lecture proper should strictly be 30 minutes the most. The succeeding 30
minutes must be spent for open forum.

Notes on Puberty:
Puberty is that period in human development wherein the person undergoes drastic
changes, both physically and even emotionally.

Puberty is controlled by hormones and it happens at varying age: Girls have their puberty
earlier than the boys.

During Puberty, both the boy and the girl experiences physical changes. Girls would
notice enlargement of their breasts and the onset of menstruation (“monthly period”).
Boys would notice also enlargement of their testicles and penis. At the same time, boys
would notice deepening in their voice and the enlargement of their Adam’s apple.

Both boys and girls would also notice sudden appearance of pubic hair, particularly in the
armpits and around the genitalia. Boys would also notice appearance of facial hair. Boys
would tend to grow muscles as well, their chest would broaden and arms become more
muscled. Girls would tend to become slimmer. Both sexes would experience a sudden
growth spurt, although the girls would tend to become tall at an earlier age than the boys.

On the not-so-good side, high activity of sweat glands would also tend to produce body
odor. Sometimes, over-activity of sebaceous glands, coupled with poor hygiene, can also
cause pimples, which can be irritating to the adolescent.

Puberty somehow prepares both the boy and the girl to be sexually capable, thus the
changes noticed are usually sexually associated.

Other than the physical changes, emotional and behavioral changes are also noticed. Boys
tend to identify themselves with other boys and girls would tend to associated themselves
with their fellow females. Puberty coincides with that stage of personality development
defined by psychologists as the struggle between Identity and Role Confusion. Peer
pressure also sets in, fuelling the teenager’s desire to be “in” or part of the group.

During Puberty, because of the surge of hormones (testosterone for the boys, estrogen and
progesterone for the girls), both sexes would experience a heightened sexual arousal.
Thus, boys would sometimes experience erection.
Because of these physical and emotional changes, adolescents must know how to care
them of themselves properly, maintain a healthy lifestyle and adhere to proper hygiene.

Group Discussion:

Before you start the lecture, you might want to ask:

For Girls:
1. Who has already started experiencing menstruation in the group? At what age?
What was your reaction during your first menstruation?
2. What where the questions going through your mind when you started having
those menstruations? Who were the sources of information/answers to your
questions?
3. What did you feel when you started noticing the enlargement of your breasts?
Was it comfortable for you? Was it embarrassing?
4. Have you been conscious about your breast size, especially among fellow girls or
in the presence of boys?
5. What were the other changes you noticed about yourself since you started having
your menstruations?

For Boys:
1. At what age did you notice the growth of your pubic hairs?
2. At what age did you notice the increase in size of your genitals?
3. When did you notice the change in your voice?
4. What were the other physical changes you noticed since you started growing your
pubic hairs?
5. Have you ever experienced a “wet dream?” What was your first reaction?

It is important that the facilitator must ensure that the atmosphere is conducive for open
forum, that participants are comfortable enough to talk about themselves, especially
about the things that have happened to them or are happening to them during their
puberty.

Facilitator/lecturer must remind the group that confidentiality is important and that they
need not fear. If participants are shy, they can write their answers privately on a piece of
paper which the facilitator will then collect and will read the answers without even
mentioning the names of the participants who wrote those answers.

Processing: End the lecture with the following notes:

1. These physical and emotional changes are NORMAL. They are neither bad nor
good. They are essential for our human development.
2. Some persons would experience abnormalities in their growth. Others will have
very early onset of puberty. Others will have a very late onset of puberty.
3. It is important that each adolescent must be ready how to tackle the changes
happening to them during puberty. They must therefore be open to their parents
about what they see or feel. If they are not comfortable, they can ask questions
 about these physical changes from their church leaders, counselors or medical
professionals.

Lecture Two: Pregnancy – Big Miracle

Boys and Girls will have separate lectures. Although the lecture will be
relatively the same, the boys’ lecture will have emphasis on the participation
of the male gender during conception. The girls’ lecture will have emphasis
on the role of the female gender during conception and fetal development.

Needed materials: Audiovisual presentation and lecture guide

Time Duration: Strictly 30 minutes are to be allotted for lecture proper and 30 minutes
will be spent for open forum.

Notes on Pregnancy:
Pregnancy is the consequence of the meeting of two gametes, the sperm from the male
and the egg from the female. Through the act of sexual intercourse, the sperms of the
male is introduced into the female’s vagina, where they search for the egg released by the
ovary of the female, way up the uterus and into the fallopian tube. The fallopian tube is
the site of fertilization.

If the fertilization is successful, the female stops producing eggs and the uterus, whose
linings have thickened days earlier in preparation for a possible fertilization, readies itself
for the implantation of the fertilized egg.

Once implanted, the fertilized egg begins it development, from embryo to fetus to full
human being.

During the first 3 months, the developing embryo begins its formation of the essential
and vital organs of the human body. The heart would start beating as early as 8-10 weeks
of intra-uterine life. By the end of the 3rd month, all organs must have been completed.

The remaining 6 months are spent for the growth of these organs, increasing in size
capable to function normally once the baby is delivered by the mother.

When the baby is matured enough to live outside of the womb, the mother experiences
labor pains and begins the stages of labor which ends in the delivery of the baby and
other products of conception (placenta).

As soon as the umbilical cord is cut, the baby now breathes on his own, however, he is
still dependent on the care of the mother and the father. In order to survive, babies are
dependent on their parents for food, clothing and shelter. It is a huge responsibility
therefore to take care of a newborn.

During pregnancy, the female undergoes physical changes, some of which can be very
dangerous for her, such as increase in the volume of blood, which can lead to possible
increase in blood pressure. Increased blood pressure is dangerous to a pregnant woman
and her baby, and may result to seizures and even death of both the mother and the baby.
It is important therefore that a pregnant mother must immediately start prenatal check ups
in order to ensure a healthy pregnancy.
Group Discussion:
Before you start, you may want to ask the following questions:
For Both Boys and Girls
1. Do you know of friends who have been pregnant?
2. Have you observed your mother being pregnant with your siblings? What have
you observed?

It is important that the facilitator must ensure that the atmosphere is conducive for open
forum, that participants are comfortable enough to talk about themselves, especially
about the things that are happening when one gets pregnant.

Facilitator/lecturer must remind the group that confidentiality is important and that they
need not fear. If participants are shy, they can write their answers privately on a piece of
paper which the facilitator will then collect and will read the answers without even
mentioning the names of the participants who wrote those answers.

Processing: End the lecture with the following notes

1. Pregnancy is the usual outcome when a male and a female have sexual
intercourse, especially if both are fertile. It is the result of fertilization and it
usually lasts for 9 months.
2. At the moment of union of the sperm and egg, the union of two sets of DNA (one
set from the male and one set from the female), human life begins and the start of
fetal development ensues.
3. During pregnancy, the female undergoes certain physical changes, changes which
can be detrimental to the pregnant woman’s life.
4. It is the responsibility of both mother and father to take care of the newborn.
Group Activity: Let’s Talk About Sex
It is important that this forum be discussed in a small group. Prior to this
activity, each facilitator must ensure that confidentiality must be assured to
each participant.

Pre-activity set up: Big groups must be divided into smaller groups of ten participants the
most. Boys will form their own exclusive small groups, the same with the girls. Only
male facilitators will handle the boys’ group and only female facilitators will handle the
girls’ group. Instruct the participants to bring their blindfold and ballpens with them.

Instructions: Tell the big group to find their small groups of ten. As soon as they have
their small groups, tell them to follow their designated facilitator. Each participant must
have his or her own blindfold and ballpen. Each small group will find an area in the open
field or classrooms and form their small circle. Once they have settled, ask the
participants to blindfold themselves. Once they have blindfold themselves tell them that
they need to be very open and very honest. You will be reading statements about sex and
ask the group if they agree to the statement, they only need to raise their hand quietly. No
one is allowed to talk or make any noise. Be sure that they are seated not too close to
each other.

The following are the list of statements the facilitator must read:
For Both Gender Groups:
1. I am below 18 years old
2. I smoke.
3. I drink alcohol whether socially or occasionally.
4. I have read or watch pornography at least once
5. I usually talk about sex with my friends.
6. I have experienced dating.
7. I have experienced fantasizing about sex.
8. I have experienced masterbating.
9. I feel guilty thinking about sex.
10. I am comfortable about my body.
11. I have experienced kissing the opposite sex
12. I have experienced sex.
13. I have experienced sex more than once.
14. I have once used contraception.
15. I think of sex as something bad and wrong.

For Boys:
1. I have experienced at least once “wet dreams”.
2. I am comfortable talking about sex and changes in my body with my parents
3. I am comfortable talking about sex and changes in my body with friends.
 4. I once entertained being curious with having sex or masterbating with other boys.
5. I find these statements comfortable and I have honestly answered these
statements.

For Girls:
1. I am comfortable talking about my body with other girls.
2. I have once had or am currently in a sexually active relationship.
3. I talk about my boyfriends with my parents.
4. I once entertained the thought of kissing another girl.
5. I am comfortable being physical with another boy.
6. I find these statements comfortable and I have honestly answered those
statements.

For every statement, try to count how many have raised their hands. After all the
statements have been read, ask the participants to remove their blindfolds. For each
statement, tell them how many in the group have raised their hands.

Notes:
Inform of them of the data about sex and let them give their feedback for each detail or
data.

End the small group discussion by asking them if they have questions and answer as
truthfully as possible. It will also be helpful if you allow them to share their opinion first
before giving your own answer.

End also the small group discussion by emphasizing the value of sex within the context
of marriage and its importance, especially the value of waiting for the right time.

Emphasize to the participants that what they are feeling are NORMAL: it is normal to
think and feel about those things, especially while they are at a stage where they are
trying to find their identity as a male and female. It is the ACTION that matters. We
might not be able to control how we feel (and feelings are neither bad nor good) but we
can control our ACTIONS. It is important therefore to talk about your feelings and
thoughts, with your parents or your trusted counselor. By talking about your feelings and
thoughts, you can be able to reconsider your future actions and probably avoid doing
things which you will regret at the end.
Bonfire Pledge Ceremony
Facilitators are to gather the big group in a circle around a huge pile of wood.
Each participant must have his or her own vigil candle and a copy of the
Pledge Ceremony Service.

After Dinner, gather all the boys in one room and all the girls in one room. Tell them that
this is now their initiation night into adulthood. All must then wear their blindfolds and
will have to line up. Facilitators are then to lead them to the site of the bonfire. They are
not to remove their blindfolds until further instruction.

Leader: Welcome participants to your pledging ceremony. A few minutes ago, all of you
have been through what we call the Fear Walk. The adolescent stage can be a frightening
experience for all of you. It is that stage wherein you are trying to find yourself, trying to
be true to yourself and trying to find your way through the darkness of ignorance, of
misinformation and even peer pressure. It is important therefore that in order to keep
yourself intact, you must seek the light, the light of wisdom and understanding.
(At this point, facilitators are to light the bonfire)

Please remove your blindfolds.

(All participants are to remove their blindfolds and must remain silent)

Throughout the day, we have learned a lot about ourselves, our body and our feelings. We
have learned that we are human beings and we have dignity and reason.

The fire before you symbolizes the light of knowledge, of guidance and wisdom. It serves
as a reminder of what you have learned today and what you promise to do after the
learning you have received. The process of learning does not end here. In fact, you are
challenged to sustain the curiosity, to ask questions, to seek help and to be open about
your feelings and thoughts. The flame also represents your commitment to wait, to wait
for the right time, for the right person, for the right reason.

(Play appropriate music…)

Pledge Ceremony:
(One person lights his candle from the flame and goes back to his/her seat, then the
person seated beside him/her will light his/her candle, until everyone has their candles
lit)

One representative from the boys will say their pledge. One representative from the girls
will say their pledge.

Leader: I now invite everyone to stand up and turn around, facing outside the circle.
Making a commitment is a serious action, one which you just can take lightly. Once you
make that commitment, you promise to be faithful to that commitment. Therefore, those
who are ready to commit, to make that pledge to wait, he or she must turn around and
face the fire, take two steps towards the fire and wait.
(Facilitators then go to those participants who are facing the bonfire and take their
lighted vigil candle and press the flame of the candle on their palm)

Instructions for the Facilitators:

End the Pledge with an appropriate music or song learned during the camp. An official
camp song or theme song either chosen beforehand by the facilitators or by the
participants themselves is highly suggested. After the Pledge, facilitators may give
instructions with regards to the following day’s activity which is the Send-Off Morning
Prayer.

Facilitators may also take this opportunity to thank the participants for their active
participation. It can also be an opportunity for participants to give their own feedback
with regards to their experiences and learning throughout the activity.
Modified Module: It Can Wait Classroom Series
This module was originally designed for a youth camp setting but can also be
conducted in a classroom or school setting whether in small groups or big
groups. The following are suggested modifications in the schedule so it can fit
an either one-day activity or two-day activity.

SEQUENCE OF ACTIVITIES:

Time Activity Venue

8:00 a.m. Registration Registration Table/Classroom

8:30 a.m. Orientation/Introduction Classroom or Quadrangle

9:00 a.m. Human Bingo Activity Quadrangle or Classroom

9:30 a.m. Dividing the Group Quadrangle or Classroom

Boys versus Girls

10:30 a.m. Taking the Baseline Quadrangle or Classroom

Boys and Girls
Facilitators ask baseline questions such as their impression about
sex, what they heard about it, what they think about it, and what
they are expecting from this session and from the others. It will be
basically an open forum about the participants first impressions
about sex.

11:30 a.m Lunch Break

12:30 p.m. Lecture No. 1: Puberty Classrooms

1:30 p.m. Lecture No. 2: Pregnancy Classrooms

2:30 p.m. Ice Breakers (suggested: Ameoba Race or River Crossing)

3:30 p.m. Let’s Talk About Sex: Small Group Discussion

5:00 p.m. Pledging Ceremony

6:30 p.m. End of Session