KUMARMAHI

Stress Coping Skills

No matter
how hard the past,
you can always begin
again. – Buddha
Kumarmahi

Stress Coping Skills

Content
1. Thinking, feeling and action
2. Three step coping process
3. Top three coping method
4. Attitude and stress
5. Stress coping skills training - An overview
6. Mind set for coping with stress
7. Relaxation and stress
8. Assessing stress -checklist for you
9. Problem solving and stress
10. Strategies to improve your learning and performance

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“People are not disturbed by things but by the views which they take of them” (Epictetus).

1. Thinking, feeling and action

Life today is becoming increasingly complex; stress is an inevitable part of life.

It is thought that yyoung
oung people today are under more and different types of stress,
compared with people from previous generations such as; increased pressure,
competition, decreased resources for family support, increased access to means of self
self-
harm, violence in the media aand
nd increased use of alcohol, drugs. When coping
resources are inadequate stressful events may give rise to unhealthy outcomes. Stress
or lack of coping resources may be one factor of many that contribute to suicide.

To successfully coping with life challenges

challenges the following are more important;

● Become more knowledgeable about stress

● Understand the process and effects of stress
● Identify your major sources of stress – situations, people, etc.
● Anticipate stressful periods and plan for them
● Develop successful stress management techniques and
and practice them
Thinking and feeling process occurs always in our mind in the background.
Most of the time it is habitual and automatic, and we are not aware of it. Our actions
(behaviour) are only output. Particular set of believes, purpose and meaning cr
create
eate
particular perspective to our thinking, feeling, and action, which in turn it will give its
own outcome or result.

If you change your purpose, meaning or perspective, your thinking, feeling and action
will change. You will get different outcome.

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You can
can get what you want by change your perspective, purpose or meaning of the
stressful situation.

You need little training and discipline. But you can do it!

“You can not always control circumstances. But you can control your
thoughts”.- Charles Poplestone
thoughts”.-

Thinking, feeling and acting are reciprocal in nature. Each one influences and
influenced by other two.

1. Our usual thinking will be;

• Inference about the event
• Imagination
• Fantasy thinking
• Solution about the problem etc…
• Slow in nature
This in turn will produce situation specific emotions

Consider this example

You are ideally sitting in your room. No one is around you.

What will be of your thinking and feeling?

Feel boring, imagine something

When we encounter stressful situation, if the situat

situation
ion is uncertain,

Speed up our thought

Negative in nature

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Thought will produce mixture of emotions.

What we are doing with our life situation. Where you are now and where you want to
go. Either you are using or loosing our life energy. You can check it now. See the four
squares yellow, green, red, and blue.

The colour yellow, green, and red represent the traffic signal

Passive – waiting for something to happen (chance

chance)
chance

Active – make something to happen (choice

choice)
choice

Confused – obstacle or lack of clear plan or goal (confuse

confuse)
confuse

Withdraw – give up, avoidance (cut

cut down)
down

You can stay temporarily if you are in yellow,

You can go if you are in green because you have learn to use your stress

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You must stop if you are in red.

red. You have to check your goal, value, believes,
attitude… it is necessary to correct yourself before you proceed.

If you are in blue you may need assistance, help, advice from others

" half of the problems in life are because, we act without thinking and the
rest half is because we keep thinking without acting"

Ask 4 questions

1. When?

Source: Thinking makes it so

Life events: How you take it,

Something happens to you and you think it is,

• Unwanted
• Undesirable
• Unacceptable
• Unpredictable
• Uncontrollable
• Unexpected
• Uncertain
2. How?

Distress: how do you feel?

Your thinking generate feelings

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Primary emotions
• Anger
• Fear
• Worry
Secondary emotions
• Guilt
• Shame
• Envy etc..
3. Why?

Cause: what you make it

Our personal resources is very important to handle our thinking and feelings

What is lacking in you? Each one is important to handle life events

1. Knowledge
2. Skills
3. Objectives- purpose, meaning
4. Practice
5. Social support
4. What?

Effects: what happen to you if you do not handle properly of your life events?

It will affect the three important domains,

Personal – how you feel about yourself in other words how you relate with yourself,
your confidence, motivation, self esteem etc..

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Inter personal – how you relate with others, withdraw, aggressive, abusive etc..

Work/ task – how you relate meaningfully with your task

Ask four questions

1. What you think when you upset ooff something?

2. How you feel when you think like that?
3. What you can do to reduce distress?
4. If not what will happen to you?

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow
where your thoughts take you." - James Allen

To become
become a survival of the fittest, we need to develop the following five skills. Lack of
these skills may create stress.

1. Critical thinking skill

Most of our day to day thinking is far from logical; we quite often jump to conclusions
based on irrational ide
ideas.
as. Believes and attitudes shapes our perception, which will
affect how we approach and cope with our life events. Critical thinking skills help us
to reduce the errors in our thinking.

2. Problem solving & decision making skill

Ineffective problem solv

solving
ing and hasty decision making are more likely leads to
emotional distress and stressful consequences. Systematic approach to complex
problems will help us to improve our quality of life.

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3. Communication skill

Most of our communication are partial we are poor listener. Appropriate

communication prevents us from much stress. For example aggressive people
dominate others; non assertive people avoid the issue.

4. Interpersonal skill

Family and friends are important in helping us to cope with stress. Developing and
maintaining satisfying relationship may be necessary during a period of stressful life
situation.

5. Self-regulation

We need to regulate our thinking, feeling and acting so that they are most
appropriate to the situation which prevent from stress.

These five skills are complementary to each other and are essential for us to become
preventive and proactive to our stressful life events.

Buddhist perspective - stressful life

Four noble truth

I. Life is suffering
II. Suffering has a cause, the cause can be known
III. Suffering can be brought to an end
IV. The path to end suffering has eight parts
1. right understanding
2. right mindfulness which together are wisdom
3. right speech

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4. right action
5. right living which together are morality
6. right effort
7. right attentiveness
8. right concentration which together are concentration
Stress coping - modern perspective

I. Stress is inevitable
II. Stress has a cause, the cause can be known
III. We can prevent, control and cope up with stress
IV. The way to cope up with stress
1. knowledge –Wisdom, Self – awareness- know about one’s strength and weakness,
Knowledge about one’s own stress and coping

2. skills

i. Critical thinking – clear thinking (minimum error and bias)

ii. Problem solving & decision making
iii. Communication – right speech
iv. Interpersonal
v. Self – regulation
3. objectives – values, plan, goal, purpose and meaning of your life

4. practice – right living, practicing meditation, relaxation, exercise and diet etc

5. social support – interdependence, giving receiving help

we are going to learn these five areas one by one in the following posts.

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"Although the world is full of suffering

suffering...it
...it is also full of overcoming it."--
it."--
Helen Keller

Stress is common to every one; however we differ in how we respond to our

stressors. When we are under or over aroused we can not performing our task at our
best. Peak performance is achieved when we are in a state of optimum arousal. In our
every day situation, if we are in control of our thinking, feeling and action we can
reduce the stress and increase our performance. We tend to think, feel and act in a
consistent ways in accordance with our own beliefs
beliefs and coping strategies. Most of us
habitually react to our life events without much awareness. If we learn to think, feel
and act in a helpful, flexible and realistic way we are not only reduce but also can
gain something out of our stressful life events
events.

fig 1. Events, our appraisal and its outcome

Optimum Goal
Challenge
arousal mastery

Event Person’s
appraisal

Threat Under Physical/

Harm /over Psychological

arousal

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fig 2. The link between thinking, feeling, action and its outcome

When a stress event occurs, first we have aware of our thoughts, feeling and
actions. Next check it is it helpful to deal with the situatio
situation,
n, and then we make a
change if necessary. We are all differing in how we perceive, express and manage
emotions. We need to understand and regulate our emotions so that they are most
appropriate to the task or situation at hand. Different emotions create ddifferent
ifferent
information processing vice versa. Coping with our own thoughts and emotions help us
to cope better.

Check your thinking, is it

Flexible or Rigid
Realistic or Unrealistic
Helpful or Unhelpful

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to
the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
difference.”- Serenity prayer

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Understanding our own stress is very difficult but it is also very important. To know
more about what is controllable and what is uncontrollable see the following table,

Think! What is your mild, moderate, and major stressor?

Type Example Duration Eliminate Need Goal

Traffic, Time Build
Mild Short time Possible
noise, waiting Effort resilience
Time, effort
Relationship/
Practice, Practice
Moderate Financial Long time Difficult
Social coping
problems
support
Physical
Acceptance,
disability
forgiveness, Minimize
Major Death, Life time Impossible
Social discomfort
incurable
support
illness

We have mild, moderate and major stressors in our life. some can be changeable some
can not change. Identify what is changeable and do it what is appropriate and
necessary. identify what is unchangeable and learn to accept it. we can change our
attitude and response to the event but we can not change our gender, parents etc..

Think about it today

what is changeable?
what you are going to do
what is unchangeable?
learn to accept it

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2. Three
Three step coping process

"Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal
rule" -Buddha
Buddha

Our personal experiences can influence our perception, appraisal of the

situation and coping strategies. Under stress we do not ha
have
ve much thoughtful to
processing information as when our lives are calm. Changing the relational meaning
of what is happening is a very powerful and widely employed device for regulating
stress and feelings. Self-
Self-regulation
regulation consists of learning to delay action,
action, being aware of
both what one is feeling and thinking as well as how one is presenting oneself. Our
responses to stressful events are the key to successful adaptation and personal growth.
The first step to coping with our life events is to aware of ou
ourr own habitual reaction to
the situation. The second step is to assume responsibility to engage our thinking in
helpful ways. Third step will be to choose our action in appropriate manner so that we
can cope with it more constructively.

3 'A'-Aware,
'A' Aware, Assume responsibility, Act

Check it What is lacking in you?

Each area is important to handle life events

1. Knowledge
Knowledge- gathers relevant information
2. Skills – acquire needed skills
3. Objectives
Objectives- take a new look, make new meaning, have clear goal and plan
4. Practice – do the daily routine such as regular exercise diet, relaxation and
carryout action towards the goal/plan
5. Social support – give receive help from others, talk to someone you trust

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3. Top three coping method

1. Proactive coping

You can do something before the stressful events occur!

One can cope before stressful events take place, while it is happening or afterwards.

We can anticipate, prevent, or seek challenges. We can increase or invest our

personal, social resources effectively. We can not wait for the things happened, we

can make the things happen by our active effort.

Example for proactive coping

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-preparing for an exam or an interview well in advance

-managing our time or relationship

-working out our plan or goal with commitment

Changing our attitude focusing the present or future events

2. Meaning making

You can do something even after the stressful events

Sometime changing the way we think, feel and act will help us to deal with our

stress. Reorganizing, reinterpreting, reframing, restructuring and looking for the

positive of stressful events are the ways to make meaning. many of the

psychotherapy aims at nothing but changing the way of thinking, feeling and

acting. Changing our self to fit into the unchangeable external reality is essential to

cope with it.

Example for the meaning making

We can take a new look make new meaning

Failure as a feedback

Change as a challenge

Obstacle as an opportunity

Changing our response to the past or present event

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3. Religious coping

You can do something even in extreme stress

All religions offer a framework for understanding, interpreting and accepting our

stressful life events. When we encounter uncontrollable circumstances the only thing

we can do to comfort ourselves is to surrender to God, the almighty. This will give at

least the illusion of control over the situation. Positive religious coping is the only

way if all the coping methods failed. this method can give us a sense of relief and

peace in extremely uncontrollable stressful circumstances.

Example

Think how one can cope with these following situations!

Death of loved one

Life threatening, incurable illness such as cancer

Violence, terrorism

Transforming oneself beyond their own limits,To gain strength and acceptance

Top three protecting shield, that helps us to deal with our stress.

1. Personal development

How we relate with ourselves

Personal attributes such as self-esteem, self-worth, self-determinism, optimism,

hope and self-efficacy directly related to our stress. Personal development is the first

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protecting shield from stress. We need to feel good about ourselves.

Take personal responsibility

2. Social development

How we relate with others

Our communication, relationships, giving receiving help and managing conflict

all requires honesty, genuineness, and mutual trust. We need other persons help and

support to cope with stress. This will be the second protecting shield that protects us
from stress.

Take social responsibility

3. Work or task

How we relate with our task or work

Only through our meaningful contribution or achievement we can believe

our ability, meaningful contribution and our achievements make us feel worthy,

boost our esteem. We may gain new friends others may appreciate accept and

respect us. We need to achieve, learn or contribute something. This is the third

protecting shield that helps us from stress.

Contribute something meaningfully

These three domains in our life serve as protecting shields which make a

difference in our life. If we learn to respond instead of reacting to our life events

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we can gain something which will help us to transform our life greatly.

4. Attitude and stress

To change your circumstances, first start thinking differently. —Norman

—Norman
Vincent Peale

Attitudes are important because they shape our percepti

perceptions
ons of the beliefs about events,
situations, and people which influence our behaviors. Attitude is our mental filter
through which we experience the world. They are formed gradually though
experiences and learning. Attitude can increase stress and negatively
negatively impact your
physical and emotional well
well-being.
-being.
being. Some of our attitude creates stress such as,

"1 must always please people and live up to everyone's expectations."

"I am basically defective and inferior to other people."
"I must always be perfect."
“Others
“Others must accept me”
“No one understand me”
“No one respect me”
“I must do it myself”
“My life is running me”
“I must not fail”
“I cannot say no to someone or something”
“Other people exploit me”
By changing our attitude, perception and reactions to stress we can reduce
stress this will positively impact your health and well-being.
well being. Be flexible with our rigid
well-

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attitudes. We need to check our attitudes very often because we may not aware of it.
The good news is if we aware, it is very easy to change. Negative thoughts drain you.
Positive thoughts energize you. And you have a choice. Only you are responsible for
your experiences of life.

Emotion and stress

"Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself" - James
Allen

Mostly nnot
ot the event itself but our distressing emotions such as anger, fear, worry or
shame/guilt make us feel worst and cause ineffective handling of the situations.
Primarily stress coping attempt to coping with our own distressing emotions. There is
an inverse relationship between our rational thinking and distressing emotions. When
we are stressful our thinking will be very narrow.

For example

Feel about “love” - passionately

Think about “love” – rationally

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You can feel the difference between the two

Ou
Ourr appraisal plays a major role that determines our emotional experiences.
Reappraisal decreases negative emotions. Under stress there is a overlap between
positive and negative emotion which in turn we confused about our feelings and
problems. We can see iinn our every day lives, If someone under stress, is confused the
other person help him/her to take decision but the other person have such type of
problem he also turn others to help to take decision. This is because present and
absents of distressing emoti
emotions.
ons.

Person who are emotionally intelligent will perceive and appraise their emotional
states and know how and when to express their feelings. These competencies help him
to cope up successfully with his stress.

Emotional intelligence/ competence/ maturity is nothing but

Understand, manage and control our own emotions

Understand, manage and control others emotion

The good news is we can learn to control our emotions. The bad news is our innate
fighting urge and unconscious impulsive reactions prevent us from
from controlling our
emotions.

Relationship, communication and stress

Do more than exist - live

Do more than touch – feel
Do more than look – observe
Do more than read – absorb

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Do more than hear – listen

Do more than listen – understand
- John.H.Rhoade

Relationship can be a common source of stress and also important resource for
combating stress. Relationships provide us

Love,
Intimacy,
Reassurance of worth,
Tangible assistance,
Guidance
Informational support and
Emotional support.
Building strong relationship is very essential to cope up with stress. High quality
social relationships involves being aware of our thinking, feeling and then
communicating those ideas. Maintain relationship involves recognizing difficulties
early and dealing with our own hidden agenda, mind reading and negative
assumptions etc. The ability to communicate care and concern is essential to maintain
a good relationship. Effective communication in our interaction with others can be a
significant way of lowering our own stress levels even in unpleasant situations; we can
feel good about our own skillful responses. Learning to communicate better will get us
involved with others and help us express our needs more clearly and calmly. We need
to learn to understand and regulate emotions of other people to cheer them up when
they are down, to engage them when we want them to listen to us.

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Some tips to improve your communication and relationships

We share our inner feelings only with Dear/ Near one, because they use their Ear
(listen).

Did you notice ear denote that

Empathy
Acceptance
Respect
Do you know what listening means?

Learn to wait before you speak

Initiate someone to share their feelings
Silently observe
Test your understanding by using paraphrase, reflect back
Empathize
Need your acceptance and understanding but not your premature advice
Do you know the importance of empathy?

To Listen to some One Value Empathy

To Love some One Value Empathy

To Lead Others Value Empathy

To Link with some One life Value Empathy

Empathy is nothing a pure form of love. Regardless of others fault, behaviour learn to
love. This is a way to live. Don’t be sources of stress to others; learn to give emotional
support to others.

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5. Stress coping
coping skills training - An overview

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the
world ... as in being able to remake ourselves. - Mahatma Gandhi

Be familiar with training which enhances your stress coping skills. So that you can
choose according to your specific needs.

1. Psycho educational programme

Objectives – to know more about stress

To learn more about what is stress, source, sign and symptoms of stress, impact of
stress on health, performance and well
well-being.
well-being.

Training iinvolves
nvolves usually lecture, may include psychometric measures and relaxation.

2. Stress inoculation training (SIT)

Objectives – build resilience and tolerance

SIT focuses multiple coping responses to resolve current problems as well as to

‘inoculate’ the pers
person
on or group against future stress. Since maladaptive coping is often
related to lack of preparation and surprise. SIT exposes individuals to milder stressors
as a way to enhance their ability to cope with more severe life situations.

Training involves theo

theoretical
retical explanation, active (variety of) skill acquisition,
application in real life and follow
follow-up.
follow-up.

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3. Cognitive behavioural training (CBT)

Objectives – minimize faulty, distorted thinking, attitude and behaviour

There is a reciprocal relationship between thinking (cognition), feeling (affective) and

action (behaviour). CBT emphasizes the importance of changing our thinking, feeling
and behaviour as a way to reducing symptoms and improving functioning and our
well being.

Training involves identifying and modifying biased or distorted thought process,

attitude and behaviour by using self- monitoring and cognitive restructuring etc.

4. Mindfulness training

Objectives – experience new relationship with mind-body instead of same old pattern

To teach people how to manage every day stress by observes the moment by moment
sensation, cognition and emotions without judging whether they are bad or good. The
core principle is non-judging, patience, trust, non-striving beginners mind, acceptance
and letting go.

Training involves mindful breathing, body scan, mindful walking, mindful meditation
and mindfulness of everyday activities.

5. Behavioural rehearsal

Objectives – teach specific skills

Specific procedure that aims at replaces deficient or inadequate responses by efficient

and effective behavioural patterns.

Training involves modeling, role-playing, etc.

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6. Anger management

Objectives – reduce impulsive unwanted anger

Aims at minimize anger frequency, intensity, duration and moderate anger

expressions. Training involves understand and modifying cognition (thinking), arousal
(feelings), behaviour (its outcome).

7. Anxiety management

Objectives – reduces discomfort and improve performance

To minimize anxiety, unwanted physiological arousal which result of faulty perception

or learning.

Training involves relaxation, guided imagery, home work assignment and real life
practice.

8. Communication skills training

Objectives – improving relationship and reduce conflict

To reduce inappropriate communication, conflict and maximize effective interpersonal

communication, relationships.

Training focuses listening skill, assertiveness, and empathy skill etc.

9. Relaxation training

Objectives – minimize physical, physiological impact of stress

To reduce physiological manifestation of stress by teaching the person to become

aware of muscle tension and to release that tension.

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Progressive muscle relaxation

relaxation-- for example involves tensing and releasing various
muscle groups until a deep relaxation state can be accomplished.

There are number of

of relaxation techniques such as autogenic, stretching, biofeedback,
guided imagery, and meditation etc.

10. Modifying life

life-style
style

Objectives – mind – body and work life balance

Modification is necessary, if our present life style is not balanced and stressful.
stressful. For
example some of the followings are essential for everyone but many of us don’t do it
at all.

Getting adequate sleep

Eat balanced diet regularly
Allot time for exercise and relaxation
Manage your goal, time effectively
Delegate duties
Spend time wit
withh your family, friends often
Give time, space for yourself alone every day
Two or more of the above stress coping skill training combination will be effective.
Identify your source and specific needs then select your programme accordingly.

Understand why yyour

our stress level is so high

“Self actualizing individuals have "superior awareness of their own

“Self-
“Self-actualizing
impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions in general.” - Abraham Maslow

Check the followings to understand why your stress level is so high

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Example

• Your temperament- impulsive

• Your personality - type A
• Your information processing style – irrational
• Your current mood – irritation
• Your dominant emotion – anger
• Your communication style – non assertive
• Your physical condition – lake of sleep
• Your health – illness
• Your body chemistry – alcohol, drugs
• Your work load - too much to do
• Your role model – form your parent
• Your financial condition – sudden change
• Your social support – emotional support
• Your ability believe – confidence
• Your perception of the event – point of view
• Your conflict – interpersonal problems
• Your preoccupation – unresolved issues

All the above items makes you vulnerable and rise your stress level, if it is temporary,
nothing to worry, but if it exist over a period of time you need to get necessary help
from appropriate person.

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Stress? – learn to give receive help

"What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long
achievements is a definite set of emo
emotional
tional skills - your EQ - not just purely cognitive
abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests." --Daniel
--Daniel Goleman,

Interpersonal relationship is an important factor for the interpersonal stress process.

Everyday stress involving frustration, con
conflict
flict and demand may be more likely to
produce physical or psychological fatigue. Daily interpersonal stressors that persist
over several days without resolution may lead to increasing mood disturbance.
Interpersonal relationship directly affects the help seeking behaviour. Pleasant social
relationships increases the likelihood of seek help and decreases loneliness, whereas
unpleasant social relationships reduces likelihood of get help and increased
loneliness. Both the quality of social support and willingness
willingness to get help is very
essential for our wellbeing. For example the following stages of our life need specific
support that is essential for our healthy development and wellbeing.

Child – supportive communication from parents and teachers

Adolescents – ppeer
eer acceptance and family support
Adult – assurance of worth and emotional support from significant others
Employees – support from supervisor and team members
Victims – support group such as PTSD support group
Communication is a key to give and receive he
help.
lp. The quality of our communication
depends on the following skills,

Active listening

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Empathetic understanding
Assertiveness
How many of you willing to give and receive help? Asking help is a courageous act

Be willing and learn to give and receive help. We can make this world more
comfortable place to live!

6. Mind set for coping with stress

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” - Stephen Covey

Coping with stress not merely depends on the events or persons ability but also a
matter of mind set. The following mind set will be helpful to dealing with stress. I
hope this will help you.

1. Self-
Self- confidence

Person with good feelings about oneself tend to cope better and view their situations
as challenge rather than threat.

2. Personal respo
responsibility
nsibility

Events may be external but how we interpret, appraise and handle with them purely
within our hand. Assuming personal responsibility increases control believe which
enhance our coping ability.

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3. Think positively, have faith

Cultivate a positive attitude to life and its challenges and replace negative or irrational
thoughts with realistic positive affirmations routes and have motivation to face your
problems.

4. Clear goal and plan

Our goal need to be well defined, realistic and must re-evaluate often otherwise leads
to failure or disappointment. It is wise to plan for each day be flexible and make
change if necessary.

5. Effective communication

The ways we communicate improve our relationship. If you are overwhelmed with
your feelings such as anger you can not think of an appropriate expression or
communication. Improve your communication skills which will help you to clearly
state what you feel and want.

6. Be creative and courage

Present world repeatedly challenge us with new complex problems. We need to be

creative and courage to deal with them. Successful coping may increase our self-
confident, improve our relationship and help us to learn new skills.

7. Taking care of physical health

Good physical health helps you to meet life’s challenges. We need to gain knowledge
about health related issues and get adequate sleep, exercise, sleep and leisure time
for yourself.

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8. Mutual help

Healthy relationships are very important in helping us to cope with stress. We need to
learn to give and receive help from others. Learn to respond to the feeling and needs
of others, communicate effectively, cultivate positive attitude towards others. Adaptive
social skills will improve our quality of life.

7. Relaxation and stress

Relaxation methods help us to deal with many kinds of stress. Since we respond to
stress in a different way, we need to find our own way to relax. Stress create tension,
arousal and distress, relaxation involves just the opposite, reducing tension, arousal
and distress.

Relaxation involves

-increase awareness of muscle tension

-ability to control that tension
-control autonomic activity such as breathing, heart rate etc..
-ability to control cognitive activity
Relaxation training – An overview

1. Progressive or deep muscle relaxation

Helps you to let go of unnecessary muscle tension

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2. Stretching or yoga

Helps your body to become more flexible and relax

3. Breathing exercises

Helps to quiet your mind and relax your body

4. Autogenic training

Focus on suggestion or image that may directed towards relaxation

5. Guided imagery

Entertain a fantasy may evokes positive feelings and relaxation

6. Meditation and mindfulness

With certain type of awareness, we fully attend our thoughts, feelings without
judgment

All the above methods are very effective and require training

7. Other common methods – may not require training

Sleeping – perhaps the simplest and natural way to relax you

Having sex – refresh you
Listen to music, songs etc..
Reading, watching T.V, go for a walk
Talk to someone, socialization
Take a warm bath or shower etc..
Enjoy nature

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Negative way of relaxation

You may think the following methods relaxing you but it creates opposite of relaxation
and has their own negative consequences. Be aware of it!

-Smoking
-Alcohol, drugs etc
-Pornography, engage in sexual talk etc..
-coffee or some of the soft drinks
Relaxation techniques will be effective if
-Taught by trained professionals
-suitable to your needs and capability
-when practice become our part of everyday routine
Now find out your suitable method and relax yourself!

8. Assessing stress -checklist for you

Handling stress is not always easy, hence there is a complex interrelated issues
involved in it. We must pay attention to the following areas of individual to help them
more effectively. Otherwise, you may handle only superficial problems.

I. General factors

1. Physical – health, nutrition, specific symptom etc..

2. Psychological – coping style, self-esteem, personal characteristics etc..

3. Social - family, interpersonal, conflict, separation, attachment etc.

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4. Academic – failure, demand, unfamiliar environment etc..

5. Work related – overload, harassment, conflict etc.

6. Environmental – violence, unfair policy, culture etc..

II. Specific personal factors

1. Cognition – distortion, rigidity, negative attribution etc.

2. Emotion – depression, anxiety, anger etc.

3. Behaviour – substance abuse, risk taking, withdrawal/isolation

III. Temporal factors

1. Duration
2. Frequency
3. Perceived or real problem
4. Perceived controllability
5. Perceived efficacy believe
6. Perceived social support
7. Predictable outcome – hope
IV. Other important factors

1. Need for medical treatment – life-threatening illness

2. Major life decision - separation, leaving job, school or college

3. Suicide ideation – unspoken area

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9. Problem solving-essential for stress management

Problem solving involves finding our way towards a goal. The object of problem
solving is usually a solution, answer or conclusion. The capacity to solve problems
successfully in the real world is a crucial component for one's well-being. Learning
these skills helps us to improve our ability to cope with stress. Problem solving,

• Forms part of thinking.

• Most complex of all intellectual functions
• Higher-order cognitive process
• Fundamental skills
Common steps in problem solving

1. Problem orientation
2. Problem definition and formulation
3. Generation of solutions
4. Decision-making
5. Solution implementation and verification.
But the traditional information- processing model defined problem solving as a series
of cognitive skills in problem identification, goal setting, finding suitable solutions and
evaluating problem-solving outcomes, but largely ignored the motivational, affective
and behavioural aspects of problem solving.

Ineffective problem solving and hasty decision making are more likely leads to
emotional distress and stressful pay off. We need to develop systematic approach when
we are dealing with complex real life problems.

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Why some problems are complex

1. Conflicting motives
2. Uncertain, ambiguous situation
3. Risk involved
4. Different perspectives/ point of views
5. Many people involved
6. Different solution
Barriers

1. Lack of knowledge / skills

2. Personal / social factors- values, attitudes, emotion, expectation, pressure
3. Cognitive errors –rigid, impulsive thinking pattern
4. Poor emotional regulation –mood swing, aggression
5. Lack of social perception
6. Lack of motivation
7. Poor self regulation
Social Problems

Any situation that brings forth feelings of discomfort such as conflict, stress, anxiety
etc. resulting from interaction or relationships with others. Social Problems including,

Impersonal problems such as-financial problems

Personal problems such as – emotional, behavioural problems

Interpersonal problems such as – marital, family conflict, Social problems such as –

violence, racial discrimination

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Social problem solving

The self-directed cognitive-behavioural-affective processes by which a person attempts

to identify or discover effective or adaptive solutions for specific problems
encountered in everyday living.

The interpersonal cognitive problem-solving

Ability to generate a number of alternative solutions to a conflict

Ability to choose and implement an appropriate solution to a conflict

Understanding and consideration of the social consequences of one’s actions for

oneself and others.

The ways we approach our problems

Social problem solving becomes ineffective when it is dominated by a negative attitude

towards problem solving, impulsiveness and acting out behaviour, or extreme delay
and avoidance.

(1) Positive Problem Orientation - an optimistic attitude to tackling problems;

(2) Negative Problem Orientation -a pessimistic attitude to solving problems

(3) Rational Problem Solving -a systematic approach to solving problems, including

problem definition, problem analysis, and generation of alternative solutions

(4) Impulsive/Careless Style -an ill-thought-out and hurried approach to solving

problems

(5) Avoidance Style -a tendency to procrastinate, blame others, or depend on others to

solve one’s problems.

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Kumarmahi

Problem
Problem--solving
solving therapy

Training individuals to become better problem solvers in order to facilitate their

ability to cope with stressful situations has been referred to in the psychotherapy
psychotherapy and
counseling literature as social problem solving therapy in order to highlight the social
and interpersonal context in which real-
real-life
life problem solving occurs. Teaching social
problem solving skills has become a common feature of programs desig
designed
ned to prevent
and remediate discipline problems. Therapy concentrates on counteracting
impulsivity, defining problems, generating solutions, encouraging consequential
thinking and developing means
means–end
end action planning.

10. Strategies to improve your learning aand

nd performance

Excellence can be attained if you….

Care more than others think wise!
Risk more than others think safe!
Dream more than others think is practical!
Expect more than others think is possible!
- Unknown Author

Strategies to improve your learning and performance

There is just a thin line between your performance and stress. Same task or situation
can be viewed as stress or opportunity for learning. The following strategies you need
to check to improve your learning and performance.

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1. Avoidance

If you feel incompetent you probably seek to escape from it. Avoidance will prevent
you from learning new skills. Learning require active effort, it is natural we feel
incompetent before mastering any task or skills. To master a task or skill first you take
it as challenge and focus your mind on the process but not the end result.

2. Believe

Success or failure mostly result of our attitude but not depends on our ability. You
know we have unlimited potential. Our belief becomes our attitude, feelings and our
action. Identify your self created limiting believes and challenge them.

3. Comparison

Every one is unique. Comparison creates negative impact on your learning and
performance. You can compare yourself with your own progress, it will motivate you.
But don’t compare yourself with others negatively.

4. Distraction

Our worries, anxiety and external events distract us. Distraction decreases our
concentration and focus. Identify your distraction and minimize it.

5. Effort

If you are willing to spare your time and energy you can reach your goal. Set priority,
keep your focus, do it with commitment and motivate yourself.

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Kumarmahi

6. Feel it and Fix it

Knowing is not enough to achieve something. You must feel the importance
importance of what
you are doing, create meaning, and contemplate mindfully. Aware of your own
chronic mistakes and failures find out the reason and challenge them.

About me

Kumarmahi - Research scholar-

scholar-Psychology
Psychology in the area of stress coping.

Director of an organization working for suicide prevention.

Please visit me for more resources often…

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