The writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.

Review Quiz #1 Hacker Chapter 16 Wordy Sentences Hacker Chapter 17 Appropriate Language Hacker Chapter 18 Exact Words

 Watch the video clip

How are the rules for wordy sentences,

appropriate language, and exact words broken?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V97c_Vx-NFo

11. Which of the following sentences applies all rules of capitalization? A. Assistant dean Shirin Ahmadi recommended offering more world language courses. B. Assistant Dean Shirin Ahmadi recommended offering more World Language Courses. C. Assistant Dean Shirin Ahmadi recommended offering more world language courses. D. None of the above. C. Assistant Dean Shirin Ahmadi recommended offering more world language courses.

12. Which of the following sentences applies all rules of capitalization? A. Kalinai has an ambitious semester, studying differential calculus, classical Hebrew, brochure design, and Greek literature. B. Kalinai has an ambitious semester, studying Differential Calculus, Classical Hebrew, Brochure Design, and Greek Literature. C. Kalinai has an ambitious semester, studying differential calculus, classical Hebrew, brochure design, and greek literature. D. None of the above. A. Kalinai has an ambitious semester, studying differential calculus, classical Hebrew, brochure design, and Greek literature.

13. One way to correct a run-on sentence is to A. add a semicolon. B. create a fused sentence. C. add a comma. D. None of the above.

A. add a semicolon.

14. Which of the following is NOT a run-on sentence? A. The city had one public swimming pool, it stayed packed with children all summer long. B. The building is being renovated, therefore at times we have no heat, water, or electricity. C. All those gnarled equations looked like toxic insects; maybe I was going to have to rethink my major. D. None of the above. C. All those gnarled equations looked like toxic insects; maybe I was going to have to rethink my major.

15. Which of the following IS a run-on sentence? A. The view was not what the travel agent had described. Where were the rolling hills and the shimmering rivers? B. City officials had good reason to fear a major earthquake, most of the business district was built on landfill. C. Wind power for the home is a supplementary source of energy: it can be combined with electricity, gas, or solar energy. D. None of the above. B. City officials had good reason to fear a major earthquake, most of the business district was built on landfill.

16. Adding what is missing and attaching it to the sentence before or after it are two ways to correct A. capitalization errors. B. a sentence fragment. C. a run-on sentence D. None of the above. B. a sentence fragment.

17. Which of the following does NOT contain a sentence fragment? A. Listening to the CD her sister had sent, Mia was overcome with a mix of emotions such as happiness, homesickness, and nostalgia. B. Cortes and his soldiers were astonished when they looked down from the mountains and saw Tenochtitlan. The magnificent capital of the Aztecs. C. Although my spoken Spanish is not very good. I can read the language with ease. D. None of the above. A. Listening to the CD her sister had sent, Mia was overcome with a mix of emotions such as happiness, homesickness, and nostalgia.

18. Which of the following DOES contain a sentence fragment? A. There are several reasons for not eating meat. One reason is due to the dangerous chemicals that are used throughout the various stages of meat production. B. To learn how to sculpt beauty from everyday life. This is my intention in studying art and archaeology. C. Digital technology has revolutionized information delivery. It has forever blurred the lines between information and entertainment. D. None of the above. B. To learn how to sculpt beauty from everyday life. This is my intention in studying art and archaeology.

19. Choose the correct statement. A. MLA requires a title page. B. MLA requires a heading containing your name, instructors name, course title, and due date. C. MLA requires a half-inch margin on all sides. D. None of the above. B. MLA requires a heading containing your name, instructors name, course title, and due date.

20. The writing process consists of A. prewriting, drafting, revising, and publishing. B. planning, drafting, revising, and publishing. C. prewriting, planning, drafting, revising, and publishing. D. None of the above. C. prewriting, planning, drafting, revising, and publishing.

 Eliminate redundancies

Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist. Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist. Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin. Sylvia scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin.

 Avoid unnecessary repetition of words

Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient. Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill. The best teachers help each student become a better student both academically and emotionally. The best teachers help each student grow both academically and emotionally.

 Cut empty or inflated phrases

Pg. 157-158

 Simplify the structure especially by avoiding be

verbs and there is, are, was, were Investigators were involved in studying the effect of classical music on unborn babies. Investigators studied the effect of classical music on unborn babies. All too often, athletes with marginal academic skills have been recruited by our coaches. All too often, our coaches have recruited athletes with marginal academic skills.

 Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single

words We took a side trip to Monticello, which was the home of Thomas Jefferson. We took a side trip to Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson.

 Stay away from jargon (list pg 162)

We outsourced the work to an outfit in Ohio because we didnt have the bandwidth to tackle it in-house. We hired a company in Ohio because we had too few employees to do the work. The CEO should dialogue with investors about partnering with clients to purchase land in economically deprived zones. The CEO should talk with investors about working with clients to buy land in poor neighborhoods.

 Avoid pretentious language

Taylors employment of multihued means of expression draws back the curtains and lets slip the nostalgic vantage point from which she observes American society as well as her lack of comprehension of economic realities. Taylors use of colorful language reveals that she has a nostalgic view of American society and does not understand economic realities.

 Avoid most euphemisms

Nice-sounding words or phrases substituted for words

thought to sound harsh or ugly Pg. 163

Avoid doublespeak
Deliberately evasive or deceptive language Downsizing = firing employees

 Avoid sexist language

Pg. 168 Rather than use too many he/she his/her, use plural Best to rewrite sentence to avoid problem completely

 Revise language that may offend groups of people

Many Oriental immigrants have recently settled in our town. Many Asian immigrants have recently settled in our town.

1. We learned that the mayor had been engaging in a creative transfer of city employees pension funds. engaging in a creative transfer Embezzling money

2. After a cursory examination of brand-new research findings on textiles, Patricia and the members of her team made the decision to engage in a series of visits to fashion manufacturers in the local vicinity. Cursory examination Quick look Brand-new research findings New research Patricia and the members of her team Patricia and her team Made the decision to engage in a series of visits Decided to visit Fashion manufacturers in the local vicinity Local clothing manufacturers

2. After a cursory examination of brand-new research findings on textiles, Patricia and the members of her team made the decision to engage in a series of visits to fashion manufacturers in the local vicinity. After a quick look at new research on textiles, Patricias team decided to visit local clothing manufacturers.

3. In the governors race, Lena Weiss, a defense lawyer and mother of two, easily defeated Harvey Tower, an architect. In the governors race, Lena Weiss, a defense lawyer, easily defeated Harvey Tower, an architect. 4. Recent military history has shown that lady combat helicopter pilots are as skilled, reliable, and resourceful as men. Recent military history has shown that women and men are equally skilled, reliable, and resourceful as combat helicopter pilots.

 Select words with appropriate connotations

When American soldiers returned home after World War II, many women abandoned their jobs in favor of marriage. When American soldiers returned home after World War II, many women left their jobs in favor of marriage.

 Prefer specific concrete nouns Thing, area, aspect, factor, individual, etc.

The senator spoke about the challenges of the future: the environment and world peace. The senator spoke about the challenges of the future: pollution, dwindling resources, and terrorism.

 Do not misuse words

These days the training required for a ballet dancer is all-absorbent. These days the training required for a ballet dancer is all-absorbing.

 Use Standard Idioms

Speech forms that follow no easily specified rules Pg 174

 Do not rely heavily on clichs

Pg. 176

Use figures of speech with care

Similes & metaphors

Because Anny Tyler often writes about family loyalties, her illusions to King Lear are not surprising. Illusions allusions
1.

2. Designers of handheld devices understand that changes in ambience temperatures can damage the tiny circuit boards. Ambience ambient

3. The wildeness guide seemed capable to show us where the trail of petroglyphs was capable. The wilderness guide seemed capable of showing us where the trail of petroglyphs was located. 4. In Evans cautious mind, packing his own parachute seemed preferable to letting an indifferent teenager fold all that silk and cord into a small pack. correct

4. Too many cooks are spoiling the broth at corporate headquarters. Are spoiling the broth are causing chaos 5. Juanita told Kyle that keeping skeletons in the closet would be playing with fire. skeletons in the closet secrets Playing with fire dangerous

 How are the rules for wordy sentences,

appropriate language, and exact words broken?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V97c_Vx-NFo

 Hacker Excercise 8-1 (active/passive verbs) and

Exercise 13-4 (shifts)