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PARENT

FPO - September
By Matt Sanders
PARENTS! I hope that this finds you all doing well. Compiled in this newsletter is a bunch of great, helpful info that we think will equip and educate you to influence your teenager! As alway, if there is anything that we can do to partner up with you in the process do not hesitate to let us know!

Hello Parents!
September 2013

Be a AAA Parent
Affection:

By Doug Fields

When Im asked about what parents can do everyday (besides praying) that can make a huge difference in their kids lives, I tell them three things that can make them AAA Parents.

Everyone needs affection to thrive, but kids want affection from their parents. Im convinced that one of reasons teenagers are so sexually promiscuous (especially girls) is because they lack affection from the significant male figure in their life. My parents were great, but they werent overly affectionate, so I chose to change the script in how I parented. I pour affection on my kids through hugs, back rubs, and snuggling during TV time.

Affirmation:
Mark Twain once said, I can live for two months on one good compliment. Unfortunately, many kids go two months without any genuine affirmation from their parents. Through their words parents yield so much power to shape their kids. Imagine your child has a bank account and each encouragement, affirmation, positive comment, intentional and personal word of kindness is a deposit of a penny to their account. Each negative comment is like withdrawing a quarter. How is your childs bank account doing?

Attention:
Simply stated, this means parents need to focus and engage on whats happening in their kids lives. Giving kids attention means more than popping by their bedroom and waving goodnight it means tucking them in. It means more than asking how their day went it means asking and really listening to the answer and then asking more questions. It means more than making sure they get homework done it means helping and coaching in a way that they feel confident and empowered. Kids need to feel that they matter to their parents! Parenting isnt easy. Intentional parenting is even more difficult, but the rewards your child will reap through affection, affirmation and attention are worth the difficulty it takes for parents to make these into daily habits!

By Jim Burns

How to Protect Your Kids From Burning Out

The pace of life in today's culture is hectic. It's tough enough for adults to maintain balance. Unfortunately, the danger of kids overdoing it is greater. A rising number of kids are 'burning out' because they are simply too busy. Generally, kids love to be involved in activities. But how much is too much? Wise parents need to be proactive in overseeing their kids activities, in order to help them learn how to make good decisions and to live balanced lives. Parents should walk alongside them, helping them get involved, while avoiding over commitment. Here are some ideas for helping kids maintain balance in this area.

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Evaluate your childs schedule. How busy is your kid now? School, homework, athletics, hobbies, and church activities all add up to a significant amount of your childs time. Consider what activities can be eliminated. If your children are already living busy lives, and they are motivated to take on even more, help them figure out what current activities and involvements can be cut back. Teach the lesson that no one can do everything. There are many involvements and activities worthy of commitment. Help your kids learn that there is such a thing as being overcommittedeven to worthy causes. Help kids to evaluate potential new activities. Teach them to evaluate whether new activities will help them grow as a person, how it might affect relationships with their family and friends, and to consider potential positive and negative outcomes from their involvement. Watch for signs of stress. Keep an eye on your kids for emerging signs of stress and if you see a pattern of stress emerging, help your son or daughter evaluate the source. If busyness is causing stress, its time to cut back. Leave room for other necessities. A healthy life requires balance and eating the right foods, finding time for relaxation, regular exercise, and getting a good nights sleep are all necessary for kids to avoid 'burning out.'

Teen Fighting Study

The Journal of Adolescent Health

Reveals Shocking Finding

Kids will be kids and occasional fighting between teens has been part of the adolescent landscape for generations. But results from a recent study on teen fighting from Florida State University which largely went underreported in most major news outlets revealed a shocking finding. Researchers found that adolescent boys who are hurt in just two physical fights suffer a loss in IQ that is roughly equivalent to missing an entire year of school. Girls experience a similar loss of IQ after only a single fighting-related injury. The findings are significant because decreases in IQ are associated with lower educational achievement and occupational performance, mental disorders, behavioral problems and even longevity. The research found boys experienced a higher number of injuries from fighting than girls; however, the consequences for girls were more severe, a fact the researchers attributed to physiological differences that give males an increased ability to withstand physical trauma. The finding of the loss of IQ is even more stunning due to the fact that the research took into account all fighting-related physical injuriesnot just head injuries. The findings were published in the Journal of Adolescent Health. While the study has a direct implication for parents to dialogue with their kids about fighting, it may also carry some implications where teens are involved in fighting sports particularly those where little [or no] protective gear is involved.

Social Media 101:

Teens and Information Sharing
By HomeWord.com

The Changing Landscape

Back in the days when social media was in its embryonic stage, the publics fear of online predatorswhere perverts stalked children and teenagers in chat roomsgave rise to a set of safety guidelines that included the nearly universal warning that kids should be taught to not share any personal information online. While that guideline still exists, as social media platforms have advanced, today it is advice largely ignored.

Social DNA
Todays social media is based upon the premise of sharing personal information: who you are, your interests, what you think, who you are with, where you are, and what you are doing. Social media technology and platforms are constructed with this in mind. Its part of social medias DNA. To avoid sharing any personal information literally means not using social media.

Teens Growing Comfortable

As the social media landscape has changed, teens have grown more comfortable in sharing personal information. According to Pew Internet & American Life Projects Report on Teens, Social Media, and Privacy, released in May 2013, since 2006, teens are more likely to share photos of themselves, school name, the city where they live, email address, and cell phone number via social media. While not measured in 2006, Pew found in 2012 that 92% of teens post their real name, 84% post their interests, 82% post their birth date, and 16% have their social media profile set to automatically include their location in posts.

Risk in Perspective

Stalkers and predators do exist (whether online or offline.) Identifying personal information is part of the predators DNA too. As such, social media use does include a measure of risk. But the notion that a stalker lurks behind every new friend or follow request has been sufficiently debunked. So the risk is fairly minimal and can be adequately managed.

Use Privacy Settings

Risk management means helping kids set adequate privacy settings on all social media platforms. Each social media provider will have a different method for privacy settings. The key is to guard against all profiles/posts being made accessible to the public. Kids should maintain a closed circle of friends/followers who cannot opt into their profile and posts without approval.

Now What? Reading Between the Lines

of Current Research
Teens and Digital Deception
Recent research from McAfee, McAfee Digital Deception Study 2013, finds that parents claim to regulate and monitor their childs online behavior, yet far fewer teens agree. Many parents ultimately admit that they are overwhelmed by technology, outsmarted by their children and dont have time to keep up with advancing technology. Teens use the limited tech acumen of their parents to find ways to hide their risky online activities and to keep their parents in the dark.

So What?
McAfee suggests the following implications for parents: Parents must realize that teens are aware of risks associated with risky online behavior, but will continue to engage in them.

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Implementing and monitoring parental controls are not enough as teens know how to bypass these controls. Parents should engage their kids in dialogue on safe online behaviors and the risks of unsafe online behaviors. Parents should begin these conversations early and often, first, in the tween years and then repeatedly throughout the teenage years. Parents should strive to become their kids online expert and confidant as they navigate the online world during the teen years.

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HomeWord.com