"Nothing incites the fury and anger of any community like the discovery of a reported child molester.

Unfortunately no charge is easier to make against an innocent person and more difficult to disprove. The word of a child, whether mistaken, coached, or the result of a deliberate lie, is all that it takes to ruin lives." Stuckle and Ferguson (1) SAID - Sexual Allegations In Divorce Definition: Sexual Allegations In Divorce (SAID) is a common occurrence in disputed child custody cases in which one parent makes false or exaggerated claims about sexual abuse of a minor child at the hands of the other parent. Description: It is unfortunately rather common for those who are divorcing or separating from a person who suffers from a personality disorder to face allegations of sexual misconduct or sexual abuse. The Victims: The children. They are exposed at a tender age to a frightening, humiliating and confusing series of questions, interviews, and examinations at the hands of parents, relatives, teachers, counsellors, therapists, paediatricians and investigators - many of whom they do not know well. Young children often do not understand why the adults around them suddenly become so interested and invasive in their questioning and investigations. They are introduced to strangers who invade their privacy in the most frightening way. They watch their parents become defensive and intrusive. Their sense of security is put under tremendous duress. The Accused - typically one of the divorcing parents - is another victim. They are faced with the threat of losing their children, the public humiliation of being suspected as a molester, the financial consequences of defending themselves, the problem of how to explain to their hurting children what is going on and why they have to go through these dreadful interviews and examinations and the fear of the accusations being believed. The Accusers - commonly victims of their own accusations. This is because in most cases, accusations of sexual abuse of children in divorce cases are found to be unsubstantiated. Accusers typically are viewed very unfavourably by the courts and by the professionals involved after they play the SAID card. Many parents - who would otherwise share custody of the children, end up losing custody of the children because of SAID. The logic is this - if they are willing to expose the children to such a dreadful process in order to try to improve their own chances of winning custody of the children - it demonstrates that they are not willing to put the children's needs above their own desires and therefore are not recognized as having good parenting abilities. Source: Out of the Fog by Gary Walters. (2) DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME Some cases of chronic visitation interference go beyond attempts at alienating a child from a parent. Turkat (in press) has reported on cases where the divorcing wife has attempted to get her divorcing or divorced husband fired from work, investigated for (falsely alleged) sexual abuse, publicly ridiculed, or physically harmed. The disorder is characterized by the mother: (1) attempting to unjustifiably punish her divorcing husband; (2) interfering with the father's visitation and access to the child; and (3) engaging in a variety of malicious acts towards the husband, including lying and violations of law. Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome is a serious disorder. Turkat (in press) has noted that such individuals rarely see themselves as having a problem, are adept at manipulating

others in the campaign against the father, and are skilled fabricators. The classification, etiology, and treatment of such cases is unknown. Source: CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY REVIEW, VOL.14, by Ira Daniel Turkat, PhD (see full PDF: http://mcaf.ee/w8fl6)
Ross and Blush (1990) describe three personality patterns they observed.

1. The histrionic personality. According to the authors, this individual appears anxious, concerned, and nervous and presents herself as victimized by her estranged spouse. She describes herself as manipulated, coerced, and physically or psychologically abused by this spouse and perceives her child as now in danger of victimization from him. She may regularly examine her child's genitals, take the child for repeated medical exams, or interrogate the child about possible sexual activity. 2. The justified vindicator. This woman initially offers an intellectually organized, assertive, and justified agenda with many facts, figures, and opinions supporting her evidence. She presents herself as justifiably outraged and concerned by the behavior of her spouse. However, when clarification is sought concerning the details, she becomes hostile, resistant, and passive-aggressive. She will argue and counter even carefully framed questions, is likely to discontinue contact with the evaluator who challenges her statements, and may threaten to sue or make ethical complaints. 3. The borderline personality. By virtue of a basic histrionic propensity and the stress of the divorce, functions in a highly dysfunctional way and may lose contact with reality.
Sound familiar?

Other Resources: www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/rand01.htm www.ipt-forensics.com/library/saadcd.htm

Op SafeKids believe those vindictive grudge bearers who wield children as pawns and puppets in bitter divorce and custody battles, should be prosecuted to the fullest extent allowed by law! Anonymous - what lie's behind the m@sk is a he@rt. With much love and our upmost respect to I.M & M.M.