Develop A Healthy Self-Concept

Everything begins and ends with you! Your self-concept is how you view yourself. How you view yourself, determines how you will experience life. If you see yourself in a positive and healthy light, your life experiences will be positive and healthy. It doesn't mean, of course, that your life will be free of challenges and adversity, just that you will have a healthier approach to dealing with them. If your opinion of yourself is shaky and fragile, you will find life's challenges overwhelming and at times, insurmountable. "Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control these three alone lead to power." Lord Alfred Tennyson

What is your self-concept?

It is the understanding and knowledge you have of your own existence and how you see yourself in relation to others and to your surroundings. In order to possess a positive or healthy self-concept you must:

Know yourself Love yourself Be True to yourself

Today we live in an increasingly complex and multifaceted world. In order to meet the challenges we now face, it is more important than ever to build a solid personal foundation. A foundation consisting of self-knowledge, self-love and self-confidence. To be sure, a healthy self-concept is more than having high selfesteem. While high self-esteem is important, the term itself can be misleading since self-esteem is largely based on your 'feelings' of selfworth and encompasses your 'beliefs' about being valuable and capable. It consists of your self-image, either positive or negative, at an emotional level. When based on emotion, self-esteem can be wavering and vulnerable to threats. Likewise, if it's obtained mostly from external factors, such as an attractive physical appearance, or being popular, you can feel on top of the world one day, and find yourself disillusioned or disappointed on the next. Therefore, a healthy self-concept must derive from within. Instead of being dependent upon validation from external sources, or the wavering opinions of others, self-esteem must result from selfreflection, self-analysis and self-acceptance.

What constitutes a healthy self-concept?

The ability to know yourself; to be able to assess your strengths, weaknesses, talents and potential.

The ability to love and accept yourself as you are, knowing that you can improve and develop any aspects of yourself that you choose.

The ability to be honest with yourself and be true to who you are and what you value.

The ability to take responsibility for your choices and actions.

Developing a healthy self-concept takes deliberate planning and concentrated effort. It takes acknowledging your intrinsic value as a human being, and then working to acquire the skills needed to confront the many challenges and adversities we encounter in life. When you posses a healthy self-concept, nothing can rattle you, or take you off your stride. You are confident, poised, and assured because you know you are equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

Related articles: How To Build Self-Confidence Love Yourself Know Yourself Be True To Yourself

How To Build Self-Confidence

When I was in my late teens a friend of mine, an elite athlete, gave me the most profound, yet simple advice that changed the way I would view myself forever. He told me: "If you don't think very highly of yourself, you can't expect anyone else to think it of you." Translation - It means that we alone are responsible for building selfconfidence. We cannot depend upon, or wait for anyone else's approval. We must see ourselves as worthy and capable of achieving anything we choose to achieve. Ultimately, how we see ourselves is more important than how anyone else sees us. If we don't work at loving and accepting ourselves, nothing anyone else thinks matters. In a similar vein, have you ever felt that you don't measure up to others overall? In that case, think about how many times you may have met a gorgeous man or woman and then afterwards forgot how good looking they were because they had nothing interesting to say or could add nothing of value to your perspective. I would think it happens more often than not! Consider that in an opinion poll done by Men's Health Magazine (1,000 American women ages 21 to 54 in two online polls) women rated traits relating to character and personality much higher than they scored those reflecting physical attractiveness. In other online questionnaires filled out by both men and women the number one quality found desirable in someone was 'self-confidence'. Physical attractiveness didn't even make the top 10! The bottom line is that what you think of, and how you project yourself, is more important than merely having good looks. Building self-confidence is not only a great way to attract others, but a great way to feel good about yourself! "Whether you think you can or think you can't you are right." Henry Ford

Filled with Effective Tips & Strategies!

Tips For Building Self-Confidence

Acknowledge Your Uniqueness. Believe in yourself and know that you are one of a kind. In the words of Walt Whitman know: "That you are here--that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse." There is no one else like you on this planet. No one looks like you, has the same talents, experiences, or perspective as you do. You are unique and are therefore here to make your unique contribution. If we each focus on what we bring into the world to share, there can be no comparisons, envy or regret. We are here to "contribute a verse".

Give it Your Best. When you do the best you can, with the best of what you've got, you can't help but feel good about yourself and that confidence comes through in everything that you do. Giving it your best makes you unafraid to take risks or step out of your comfort zone - both great confidence-builders.

Persevere. Everybody has setbacks and obstacles to contend with. Don't let them undermine your confidence. Treat them as opportunities to strengthen your resolve and then persevere.

Overcome adversity. Overcoming adversity builds and strengthens self-confidence. The greatest songs, works of art and literary pieces have been written by those who have experienced the depths of despair, loss and emptiness and overcame them. Experiencing sadness and loss, and then rising above them, gives rise to hope and triumph. It makes you stretch and become more than you were.

Accomplish something. Set goals for yourself and then push yourself to reach them. Selfconfidence soars when you know you can do what you put your mind to. It makes you feel unstoppable.

Likewise, achieve mastery. Mastery experiences are those in which you know you have worked hard and put in great effort to achieve success.

Separate Yourself From the Event. You are not what happens to you, nor how you believe others see you. In other words, you are not defined by what happens to you, nor are youdefined by how others see you. You are who you choose to be - a person of character, dignity and selfconfidence.

Confront your fears. There's nothing that destroys self-confidence more than succumbing to fear. Everyone feels fear at various times; we're human, however facing circumstances with courage and poise strengthens character and builds self-confidence. Put yourself out there! If you're afraid to meet new people, attend social events, etc. - don't stay home and fret. Doing builds confidence. Of course, you'll feel, and probably be awkward the first few times in new situations, however, the more you do it, the better you'll get, and therefore the better you'll feel about yourself.

Good looks do not equal self-confidence. Some of the most attractive people in the world are insecure and lack self-confidence. Marilyn Monroe was considered to be one of the sexiest, most beautiful people in the world, yet she lacked a positive self-image. She misguidedly allowed external factors, such as the approval of others, to determine her self worth. Good looks may help you feel good about yourself temporarily, but are by no means enough.

Take good care of yourself. When you are in fit, in good health, and make a point of looking your best, you can't help but feel confident. This is different, of course, from comparing your looks to others. It's about being comfortable with you. Everyone looks good when they're in good shape, well groomed, and healthy. You can't help but have a glow about you when you take good care of yourself.

Learn how to give yourself a pep talk.

We all have our down moments, moments of doubt, confusion and uncertainty. When that happens, we must learn how to restore self-confidence. One way is to understand that everyone goes through such moments. Another is to remember past successes, visualize the desired outcome, and keep at it! Practice makes perfect. Self-confidence is absolutely essential to achieving success in any endeavor. You acquire it by doing, learning, accomplishing, and persisting.

Love Yourself or The Art of Self-Acceptance

To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It means to have self-respect, a positive self-image, and unconditional selfacceptance. Needless to say, it does not mean being arrogant, conceited or thinking that you are better than anyone else. It means having a healthy regard for yourself knowing that you are a worthy human being. It is important to remind ourselves that no one is perfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we certainly possess the resources to work on improving ourselves. Each of us is unique and has specific talents and abilities to offer. We are all here, in the words of Walt Whitman, "to contribute a verse". In order to appreciate yourself it is up to you to discover what makes you uniqueand to further develop those talents. We have a responsibility to ourselves to do so. You cannot sit around and wait for approval from others. Work on acceptingyourself. You are the only "you" that you have. It is in your best interests to be the best you can be. Until you love yourself, you will not be able to love anyone else. You can only love another to the degree that you do yourself. "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection". Buddah

How do you love yourself?

You do so by investing in and working on your personal growth and development. You work on being the best you. You understand that

you are human, but you acknowledge that you have the potential and spiritual capability to rise above whatever conditions and obstacles are put in your path. When you love yourself you endeavor to take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. You take care to look and feel your best by nurturing your body, mind and spirit. Conversely, if you don't love yourself enough, start taking care of your body, mind, and spirit. You will not only become more self-aware, you will generate feelings of worth and accomplishment.

Your Body
You take care of your body by eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest. There are many wonderful books available that can help you learn what types of food and exercise are good for you and your particular body type.

Your Mind
Your mind needs nourishment and exercise too. Don't take it for granted. Stimulate it by learning about new and interesting things. Keeping your mind active helps prevent certain old age diseases such as Alzheimer's and dementia. Keeping the neural connections of your mind active helps maintain memory and brain functionsat optimum levels.

Your Spirit
If you take care of your mind and body but neglect your spirit, you will lackbalance and feel that something is missing in your life. Taking care of your spirit rejuvenates you, and helps you deal with the daily stresses and challenges of everyday life. When you love yourself, you invest in your personal growth and development. You endeavor to be the best that you can be, and you strive to achieve yourpotential.

Know Yourself
To know yourself is your first priority.
How can you set goals, go about life, and have relationships if you don't know who you are or what you want? You really can't. To not know yourself leads to confusion and wasting much time in hit and miss situations. We tend to underestimate the importance of knowing ourselves. Many of us go through each day reacting to events and just getting by rather than making conscious choices based on who we are and what we want. When we don't know where we are headed it's hard to set goals, get motivated and determine the best course of action. Before we can do any of these things we must establish who we are. To know yourself: "It is wisdom to know others. It is enlightenment to know one's self." Lao-Tzu

"Know thyself". Socrates

Be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes Observe and be aware of your moods, reactions and responses to what is happening around you Become aware of how these moods and emotions affect your state of mind Examine how you interact with others Observe how your environment affects you

Knowing and understanding yourself better, in turn, leads to better decisionmaking, setting and reaching appropriate goals and altogether living more productively. There are many interesting personality tests and evaluations for selfdiscovery that can help you become more in tune to yourself and are fun to do. Two powerful tools I found exceptionally helpful are the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and The Enneagram. Not only do these tools help you understand yourself better and what drives some of your behaviors, they also help you understand and get along better with others. The MBTI is often used in employee training, marriage counseling and personal development.

Be True To Yourself!
To be true to yourself means to act in accordance with who you are and what you believe. If you know and love yourself you will find it effortless to be true to yourself. Just as you cannot love anyone else until you love yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else until you are true to yourself. Be who you are! Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are, not as as someone else thinks you should be. Do not take action or pretend to be someone else for the sake of gaining acceptance. Many young people believe that when they do things to please their peers, such as drink when they shouldn't, or behave and party in inappropriate ways, they will be popular and liked. They go against the advice of their parents or their own common sense only to find themselves in trouble and not accomplishing what they set out to do. When you do things that are not genuine or a reflection of the real you, you will not be happy with yourself and will end up confused. You'll be confused because you won't know whom to please, or how. Self-respect comes from being true to who you really are and from acting in accordance with your fundamental nature. When you respect yourself, others will respect you. They will sense that you are strong and capable of standing up for yourself and your beliefs. When you are true to yourself, you allow your individuality and uniqueness to shine through. You respect the opinions of others but do not conform to stereotypes or their expectations of you. To be true to yourself takes courage. It requires you to be introspective, sincere, open-minded and fair. It does not mean that you are inconsiderate or disrespectful of others. It means that you will not let others define you or makedecisions for you that you should make for yourself.
See the free offer that comes with it!

To live your bestlife a variety of skills are needed Essential Life Skills Now available as an E-book!

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself

Be true to the very best that is in you and live your life consistent with yourhighest values and aspirations. Those who are most successful in life have dared to creatively express themselves and in turn, broaden the experiences and perspectives of everyone else.

away." Raymond Hull

Tips On Being True to Yourself

Be who you are, be your genuine self Follow your own value system and common sense Listen to the advice of others, but make up your own mind Recognize, appreciate, and develop your unique talents Stand up for what you believe in and you will gain respect Know that being 'different' is a gift Understand that you are enriching others by being yourself

Related articles: Be True To Yourself Quotes Healthy Personal Boundaries How to Think for Yourself

Healthy Personal Boundaries & How to Establish Them

"Setting healthy personal boundaries is necessary for your mental and emotional health."

Learning to set healthy personal boundaries is necessary for maintaining a positive self-concept, or self-image. It is our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define us.

Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. They allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others. Their presence helps us express ourselves as the unique individuals we are, while we acknowledge the same in others. It would not be possible to enjoy healthyrelationships without the existence of personal boundaries, or without our willingness to communicate them directly and honestly with others. We must recognize that each of us is a unique individual with distinct emotions, needs and preferences. This is equally true for our spouses, children and friends. To set personal boundaries means to preserve your integrity, take responsibility for who you are, and to take control of your life.

How do we establish healthy personal boundaries?

Know that you have a right to personal boundaries. You not only have the right, but you must take responsibility for how you allow others to treat you. Your boundaries act as filters permitting what is acceptable in your life and what is not. If you don't have boundaries that protect and define you, as in a strong sense of identity, you tend to derive yoursense of worth from others. To avoid this situation, set clear and decisive limits so that others will respect them, then be willing to do whatever it takes to enforce them. Interestingly, it's been shown that those who have weak boundaries themselves tend to violate the boundaries of others.

Recognize that other people's needs and feelings are not more important than your own. Many women have traditionally thought that the needs of their husbands and children are more important than their own. This is not only untrue, but it can undermine the healthy functioning of the family dynamic. If a woman is worn out mentally and physically from putting everyone else first, she not only destroys her own health, she in turn deprives her family of being fully engaged in their lives. Instead, she should encourage every family member to contribute to the whole as well as take care of himself or herself. Putting themselves last is not something only women

do, but many men as well.

Learn to say no. Many of us are people-pleasers and often put ourselves at a disadvantage by trying to accommodate everyone. We don't want to be selfish, so we put our personal needs on the back burner and agree to do things that may not be beneficial to our well-being. Actually, a certain amount of "selfishness" is necessary for having healthy personal boundaries. You do not do anyone any favors, least of all yourself, by trying to please others at your own expense.

Identify the actions and behaviors that you find unacceptable. Let others know when they've crossed the line, acted inappropriately, or disrespected you in any way. Do not be afraid to tell others when you need emotional and physical space. Allow yourself to be who you really are without pressure from others to be anything else. Know what actions you may need to take if your wishes aren't respected.

Trust and believe in yourself. You are the highest authority on you. Youknow yourself best. You know what you need, want, and value. Don't let anyone else make the decisions for you. Healthy boundaries make it possible for you to respect your strengths, abilities and individuality as well as those of others. An unhealthy imbalance occurs when you encourage neediness, or are needy; want to be rescued, or are the rescuer, or when you choose to play the victim.

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

Going against personal values or rights in order to please others. Giving as much as you can for the sake of giving. Taking as much as you can for the sake of taking. Letting others define you. Expecting others to fill your needs automatically. Feeling bad or guilty when you say no. Not speaking up when you are treated poorly. Falling apart so someone can take care of you. Falling "in love" with someone you barely know or who reaches out to you. Accepting advances, touching and sex that you don't want. Touching a person without asking.

When we possess healthy personal boundaries:

 We have improved self-confidence and a healthy self-concept. We are more in touch with reality. Are better able to communicate with others. Have better more fulfilling relationships. Have more stability and control over our lives.

It is never too late to work on establishing healthy personal boundaries. Related articles: 10 Tips For Maintaining Mental and Emotional Health 5 Tips For A Well Balanced Life

10 Tips For Maintaining Mental and Emotional Health

Mental and emotional health are often challenging to preserve in our modern-day, busy and hectic lives. To lessen the impact of stressful wear and tear, consider implementing some of these helpful strategies into your daily routine. Some of these tips have been also been touched upon in other articles, however this only underlines their importance. 1. Maintain good physical health. This point is so basic it's often overlooked. Our physical health affects our emotional health much more than we realize. Make sure to eat well, exercise and get plenty of sleep. As Virgil said: "The greatest wealth is health." 2. Learn to release anger and let go of grudges. Vent if you have to. Shake it off. Walk it off. Harboring anger or ill feelings builds emotional toxicity, which ultimately affects your overall health. "For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness". Anonymous 3. Be aware. "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver." Mahatma Gandhi

Look for the hidden message in negative or difficult situations. Learn from them. Experiencing adversity is meant to alert you to something or teach you a new skill. "Life deals you a lot of lessons, some people learn from them, some people don't." Brett Favre 4. Keep your brain active. Don't let complacency or boredom set in. In order to feel alive and vibrant we need to keep our minds active by learning new things and challenging ourselves. "If I had to live my life again I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week; for perhaps the parts of my brain now atrophied could thus have been kept active through use." Charles Darwin 5. Stimulate your senses. As well as keeping your mind active, enjoy beautiful art, listen to music that lifts your spirits or try a new gourmet dish. Our senses need to be reawakened every now and then too. "Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion of Soul discerned by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age."William Blake 6. Have fun and don't take yourself too seriously. Balance in life is important for maintaining emotional health. Too much emphasis on work causes stress as well as wear and tear on the body and mind. Take time off; go to the beach, the park or a movie to take your mind off your current quandaries. Chances are when you come back you will see things from a fresher, more productive perspective. "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." Jack Handey 7. Maintain supportive relationships. Maintain good relationships with friends and family for much needed feedback, a shoulder to lean on or a different perspective. Often we get so caught up in our own problems and misery we can't see the forest for the trees. Having an objective pair of eyes and ears can give you a whole new way of thinking. "Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings".Miles Franklin 8. Donate your old clothes, furniture or items you don't use anymore to your local Good Will, Salvation Army or charity of your choice. It will make you feel good, first by helping someone out and secondly by cleaning out your closets and basements of 'stuff' you haven't put to use in a long time. "For it is in the giving that we receive." St. Francis of Assisi 9. Take some yoga classes, learn to meditate or incorporate a relaxation technique into your routine. Besides having fun and not taking yourself too seriously, it's a good idea to integrate another relaxation strategy into your routine for those times when life gets somewhat

Maintain Emotional Health!

overwhelming. Having many methods to fall back on ensures emotional well-being. "If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun or relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it". Herodotus 10. Learn to savor and appreciate the moment. How many times have we heard that life is too short? We get so caught up in the whirlwind that we forget to live in the present moment. And in those times we're not caught up in the whirlwind, we're worrying about the future. It's time to slow down and enjoy the now! "Life is a memory except for the present moment that goes by so quickly you hardly catch it going." Tennessee Williams Take good care of your mental and emotional health. It can determine the quality and enjoyment of how you experience your everyday life.

related articles: Live In The Moment The Importance of Maintaining Balance

The Importance of Maintaining Balance

"Happiness is not We tend to underestimate how much maintaining balancecontributes to living life successfully and productively. As a sports enthusiast I appreciate how sports are a metaphor for or a microcosm of life so you will find me making many comparisons and analogies. Take the example of an Olympic athlete. To get optimum results he/she must train for the event in the most efficient and productive manner possible because the margin of error in a sporting event is miniscule. You could win or lose in an Olympic event by a hair or one 1/100th of a second. Not a chance you would want to take. When in training the athlete must have discipline and maintain a routine that includes the proper balance of sleep, good nutrition and exercise. He/she must also employ psychology to make sure that the necessary mindset or attitude is in place. Attitude and mindset are so a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony." Thomas Merton

important that they could make the difference between winning and losing. If any one of these components is missing or out of balance, the athlete will not perform well. So it is with living life to the fullest. We don't have to adhere to the strict regimen an Olympic athlete would, but in order to function at our best, we definitely need to balance taking care of ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually. Focusing too much on any one facet catches up with us and leads to health problems in the neglected area. For instance, if you were to exercise too much (hard to imagine) and not take time to rest and replenish, you would injure yourself. If you read or do too much mental work your body would lack proper circulation and fitness level. If you spend too much time meditating or relaxing, your brain waves slow down and you would lack mental agility. Whenever you overdo it in any aspect of your life you lose perspective and balance. As Aristotle said: "Everything in moderation". The Book "9 Essential Life Skills - A Guide for SelfRealization and Personal Development"

How do we maintain balance in our lives?

Know yourself and how much rest, food and exercise you need to function at your best. There are many good books and websites that give great advice on diet and exercise. Decide what works best for you and implement it into your routine.

Keep your mind alert and in shape. As mentioned in the 10 Positive Habits To Develop , try to learn a new piece of information each day, even if it's in conversation with your spouse and children at the dinner table.

Stay connected with family and friends. At the end of the day share with your spouse and children how the day went for each of you. We lead busy lives but we should never be too busy to connect with and make at least one phone call to a parent, sibling or friend during the day.

Do something spontaneous. Our lives can be too regimented at times so it's a good idea to do something out of the ordinary every now and then. During your lunch one day go for a pedicure or massage. Take a drive in the countryside one afternoon. On the weekend go to a concert (rock, opera or symphony)

Make time for yourself. At the end of each day take time to unwind. If that means leaving the dishes overnight, so be it. Take a nice bath, read from the book you started or listen to some soothing music.

We can take a valuable lesson from elite athletes who, by knowing how to balance their training routines, are able to function at optimum levels.

Related Articles: 5 Tips For a Well Balanced Life Balanced Life Quotes The Benefits of Regular Exercise

5 Tips For A Well Balanced Life

A well balanced life is essential for personal effectiveness, peace of mind and living well. Whether we work, go to school, are retired or not, we all have responsibilities. There is always someone, or something, to answer to. There are things we want to do and things we must do. The challenge is to balance what we must do with what we enjoy and want to do. This is not always easy. If, however, we are unable to reduce stress and manage a well balanced life there can be physical and/or emotional healthconsequences. "Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony." Thomas Merton

Tips for living a well balanced life:

1. Take care of and nurture yourself. You cannot accomplish anything if you're unhealthy. Get plenty of rest, exercise and eat properly. Many people think they can burn the candle at both ends, eat junk food, get very little exercise, and still function adequately. You may be able to get away with this for a while if you're quite young, however, at some point this type of life style will catch up with the best of us. Burnout is a real possibility. You may want to set aside time each day for an activity that you enjoy, such as walking, working out or listening to music. Or, allow yourself to unwind after a hectic day by reading, meditating or taking a nice hot bath. 2. Know what your priorities are. Balance doesn't mean do everything you can. Examine your values and decide what's important to you, then set your boundaries. You may be in the process of building a career, starting a family or going to school. Depending on what stage you're at in your life, your focus and energies will be different. Try not to become overwhelmed by juggling too many big projects in your life at once. Maybe planning a wedding is not a good idea when you're studying for the bar exam. Nor, is starting a family when you are unsure about your career direction, or relationship status. Not knowing what you want and trying to do everything at once can be a recipe for disaster instead of the road to leading a well balanced life. Try not to bite off more than you can chew.

3. Create an efficient mindset. Be organized and plan ahead. Take time at the beginning of each week to assess what needs to be done. Make a to-do list in a planner or calendar for upcoming appointments, exams to write or study for, or meetings to attend. Be sure to assign recreation and quality time for yourself and your family as well. Taking time to connect with family and friends will recharge your batteries and make you more efficient in the long run.

4. Expect the unexpected. Rather than get stressed and upset, allow yourself to roll with the punches when something you have no control over happens. You may get stuck in traffic, your computer could crash or your child could get sick with the chickenpox. Stuff happens. We've all experienced the unexpected. If youaccept that anything can happen at any time, it's less likely

it throw you off your stride when it does. Be able to adjust your game plan. Note also, that there are times when achieving balance may not be possible. For instance, you may have a family or career crisis that needs your immediate and undivided attention. It may require an exceptional amount of your time and resources. When that happens, do whatever it takes and when things go back to normal take time to refresh and rejuvenate yourself. 5. Maintain a positive mental attitude. Begin each day with the intention of making the best and most of it. It may not always go as planned, but it can go more smoothly if you put it inperspective. Part of living a wellbalanced life is learning how to deal with adversity, unforeseen events and uncertainty. If you practice not letting things get to you, you will not only learn to live a well balanced and less stressful life, you will learn to live in and savor the moment. Once you've done everything you can within your control, let your life unfold. Be prepared for the future, but don't worry about it. While we can't anticipate and plan for everything in our lives, we can decide how, where and when to concentrate our energies. This may require some critical thinking and problem solving, but in the end it will lead to much less stress and a well balanced life.

How To Think Critically and Problem Solve

The quote on the right by Jean De La Bruyere may seem a bit radical, however, according to the premise of cognitive psychology, what you think is what you feel. While many people believe that your feelings precede, or are independent of your thoughts, the truth is that your feelings are products of your thoughts. This revelation can be both daunting and liberating. "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think." La Bruyere

Daunting because it makes us responsible for our attitudes and liberating because we have the power to choose our perspective, mood and thoughts. When we are aware that we can choose and direct our thinking, we realize that we have the ability to better control the circumstances of our lives, improve ourdecision-making processes and generally live more productive lives. This in no way suggests that we need downplay the many feelings and emotions we as humans enjoy, it's a simply a way for us to manage and balance them with our cognitive abilities.

We are thinking critically and in a problem solving mindset when we:

Rely on reason rather than emotion Evaluate a broad range of viewpoints and perspectives Maintain an open mind to alternative interpretations Accept new evidence, explanations and findings Are willing to reassess information Can put aside personal prejudices and biases Consider all reasonable possibilities Avoid hasty judgments

Like any other skill, learning to think critically or problem-solve takes time, perseverance and practice. Knowing which steps to take and how to apply them helps us master the process.

Steps to Critical Thinking As It Relates To Problem Solving:

1. Identify the Problem. The first task is to determine if a problem exists. Sometimes when you think this point through, you may come to the conclusion that there really isn't a problem, just a misunderstanding. If that's the case, fine. If not, and you determine that there is indeed a problem, you need to identify exactly what it is. According to Barry Lubetkin, a New York clinical psychologist, how systematically someone weighs the pros and cons of a problem and how clearly the person can define and state it, is also an indication of highly developed intelligence. 2. Analyze the problem, look at it from different angles. Once you've determined the problem, analyze it by looking at it from a variety of perspectives. Is it solvable? Is it real or perceived? Can you solve it alone or do you need help? Sometimes by looking at it from many angles you can come up with a resolution right away. You may also reveal a bias or narrow point of view that needs to be broadened

3. Brainstorm and come up with a several possible solutions. Problems can be solved in many ways. Brainstorm a list of several possible solutions. Put down anything that comes to mind and then go over the list and narrow it down to the best possibilities. Having several viable options leads to obtaining the best results. 4. Decide which solution fits the situation best. Go over your list of possible solutions. Different situations call for different solutions. Quite often what works in one situation, may not work in a similar one. Take time to determine what will work best for the problem at hand. One solution usually does not fit all. 5. Take action. Implement your solution. Every problem has a solution; even if it may be to accept the situation, and move on.Instead of approaching problems and challenges as insurmountable obstacles, we can view them as opportunities to hone our critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Every problem we are able to resolve increases self-confidence and self-worth. Thinking critically not only helps us handle future challenges more skillfully, it also broadens our life experience and helps us gain perspective.

Related articles: Critical Thinking or To Reason How to Think for Yourself Increase Your Brainpower with Classics

Increase Your Brain Power with Classics

Consider reading and learning about Classics to increase your brain power,learning capability, and expand your cultural literacy. As a big believer in each of us developing our intellectual capabilities, I recommend classical studies as a way to broaden your knowledge base. Classics, or Classical Studies, deals with theliterature, art, history, philosophy, and culture of ancient Greece and Rome. Why the Classics? How could reading about classics possibly be of practical use in increasing brain power? Of course, I'm not advocating enrolling in an intense university program in Greek and Latin. I'm suggesting instead, that you consider incorporating more classical reading in your routine and

"In science, read by preference the newest works. In literature, read the oldest. The classics are always modern." Amy Lowell

Here's why:
1. Because it's fun and entertaining and provides a basis for the enjoyment of many movies, comic book heroes and video games that contain references to classical history and mythology e.g. Troy, Gladiator, O Brother Where Art Thou (movies), Hercules, The Fantastic Four (comic book heroes), and God of War (Playstation2), to name a few.

2. It feeds the imagination if you want to be a writer (or aspiring blogger). J.K. Rowling author of the Harry Potter books studied Classics and uses much classical terminology and references in her books. The first Harry Potter book has been translated into both Latin and ancient Greek.

3. It enriches and broadens our understanding of western culture, history and literature giving us an appreciation for where our language and customs originated, as well as a sense of connection to the past.

4. It helps us understand the human condition and ourselves. For instance, Greek mythology was then, and serves today as a study in human nature, the dynamics of the human mind, human behavior, and the forces that drive us. We learn about jealousy, love, grief, narcissism, good and evil. It's fast tracking for Life 101.

5. The skills and knowledge acquired through the study of Classics are highly transferable to other areas. For example, the ability to deal with precise details, to express yourself, problem solve, think critically and manage your life are all honed and sharpened by having studied Classics.

6. So much of our medical and scientific terminology is rooted in Classics that learning about the Greeks and Romans can facilitate the study of anatomy, astronomy and physics. Many of our modern sciences have Greek names because the ancient Greeks either invented them or made significant contributions to them.

7. Becoming familiar with classical literature gives us perspective and an understanding of European and English literary genres and their evolution. The Greco-Roman influence has had such an enduring effect on every aspect of Western culture including languages, history, philosophy,literature, science, technology and art.

Interesting facts about Classics and Classical Studies:

The first written record of Greece and the oldest form of Greek literature is Homer's Iliad (circa 1000- 900 B.C.) A book of maps gets its name from Atlas, the Titan who supported the heavens on his shoulders. The point of vulnerability is an Achilles' heel, because the mythological warrior Achilles had been magically protected in all but that part of his body. Our calendar goes back to the ancient Romans and the 7day-week was introduced by the ancient Hebrews. The statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. was inspired by the statue of the

Olympian Zeus by the Greek sculptor Pheidias. The designs on Lincoln's armrests are a Roman symbol for justice and republican government.

Law schools report that their top students come from math, the Classics, and literature rather than from political science, economics and legal studies as one might expect.

David W. Packard of Hewlett-Packard was a former professor of Greek and Latin, and Chris Martin from the band Coldplay studied The Classics.

E.D. Hirsch Jr. who is well known for coining the phrase 'cultural literacy' and for his theories on education states that "As a consequence of the fact that we learn most easily when we attach the new to the old, people who already know a lot tend to learn new things faster and more easily than people who do not know very much." In other words, the more knowledge and background we have of our world and its evolution in language, history, arts and sciences, as presented in Classics, the better a foundation we have for learning new and current information. What better way to cultivate and preserve our brainpower? Related Articles: How To Improve Your Memory How To Think Critically and Problem Solve Personal Development and Literature

How to Improve Your Memory

There are many ways in which you can improve your memory and the more you work at it, the better it becomes! Memory is the mechanism by which we are able to store, retain, and recall information. As simple as it may sound, the process is a complex one which involves many different parts of the brain and serves us in a wide variety of ways. As with so many of our other functions, the saying "use it or lose it" applies as aptly to the brain, as with anything else. The more you exercise your brain and nurture it with a good diet and healthy habits, the better you'll be able to process and remember information.

Before we get into how to improve your memory, it would be helpful to understand how it works. For example here are parts of the brain used for memory:

The hippocampus is the primitive structure deep in the brain that plays the single largest role in processing information as memory. The amygdala is an almond-shaped area near the hippocampus, which processes emotion and helps imprint memories that involve emotion. he cerebral cortex (the outer layer of the brain), depending on what kind of processing the information involves, such as language, sensory input or problem-solving, stores most long-term memory in its different zones. Memory also entails communication among the brain's network of neurons, which are the millions of cells activated by brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. Memory can be short-term or long-term. In short-term memory, your brain stores information for a few seconds or a few minutes. It is capable of holding, on average, about seven items at a time. Long-term memory involves the type of information that requires a conscious effort to retain, and then recall. This would include studying for tests, factual data, or personal events; such as the first time you were able to ride a bike, or recalling your favorite movie.

Another type of long-term memory is procedural memory, which involves skills and routines that you perform so frequently that they don't require conscious recall.

Tips on how to Improve Your Memory

1. Exercise your brain. The best way to exercise your brain is to engage in new experiences or expose it to varied sensory stimulation. When you break with routine or do something that is challenging, you create new brain pathways. An illustration of this would be writing, or dribbling a basketball with your non-dominant hand, or taking a totally different route to work. An example of sensory stimulation, would be smelling a particular fragrance while listening to a certain piece of music. To stir up brain activity in yet a different way, you can pick something usually done by rote, or on automatic pilot, and consciously change the way you go about it. It is also a well know fact that people who engage in activities that exercise the brain, such as reading, writing, and playing card games, can delay the rapid memory decline that occurs as we age. 2. Pay attention. It is very difficult to remember something if you've never learned it in the first place. It takes about eight seconds of intent focus to process a piece of information through the hippocampus and direct it to the proper memory center. If you do not concentrate, get distracted easily, or are doing several things at once, your chances of retrieving specific information will be non-existent. 3. Incorporate as many senses as possible. While there are many different learning styles, such as visual, auditory and kinesthetic (touch), no matter which type you are, you can incorporate all of them in the process of trying to remember something. If you're a visual learner you can read out loud, even recite rhythmically to remember better. If you're an auditory learner, create a mental image or look at pictures as you read out loud. Relating information to colors, textures, smells and tastes is also very helpful. 4. Organize Information. A good way to remember new things is to make associations and connect information to what you already know. Building on what you know helps you remember new material. Also, write important things down in notebooks, calendars and post-it notes, then reorganize the information in a comprehensive way in order to retain it. 5. Review frequently and over-learn. Go over what you've learned the same day you

learned it, and review it frequently. When you review and over-learn information, it becomes embedded in your memory and therefore, so much easier to recall. It is also much more effective than trying to cram. 6. Use Mnemonics. Mnemonics are a memory tool or technique used for remembering difficult information. They are clues of any kind that help us remember something, usually by associating it with a visual image, a sentence, or a word. For example, "30 days hath September, April, June and November" is a rhyme for remembering the number of days in each calendar month. Another example of mnemonics would be to "chunk" information. Chunking is when you arrange a long list into smaller units or categories that are easier to remember. To remember a long number, you could chunk it into groups of 2, 3 or 4 for easier retention. You can also code and structure information by using vivid mental images. When you make the images colorful or even unusual, they are much easier to recall when you need them. 7. Practice good health habits. Exercise regularly. It increases oxygen to your brain and reduces the risk for disorders, such as diabetes and heart disease. Poor health, of any kind, contributes to memory loss. Likewise, get plenty of sleep and eat properly. Sleep is necessary for concentration and clear thinking, while good eating habits supply the nutrients needed to nourish your brain. 8. Stay motivated and maintain a positive attitude.When you are positive about learning and experiencing new things, you automatically improve your memory. On the other hand, if you tell yourself you have a bad memory, you will actually impede your brain's ability to remember. Maintaining a positive attitude sets up expectation of success. By incorporating the above tips and strategies into your routine, you will be able improve your memory significantly. Not only will you learn and retain more in school and at work, you will achieve more satisfaction in your personal and business relationships.

Critical Thinking or To Reason Critical thinking is the mental process of analyzing or evaluating information. 'To reason' is the capacity for rational thought, or to think logically. Once you have established a solid foundation or a healthy selfconcept, it is important to be able to think critically, or to reason. Everyone thinks; however, much of our thinking is reactive, biased, uninformed and often prejudiced.
"Many people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do." Bertrand Russell

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking that created them." Albert Einstein

More often than not, it is also haphazard and undisciplined. Why do we need to think critically? In order to assess our role in, and the consequences of any actions we take, we must be able to evaluate and determine what is taking place in a given situation. This requires us to organize our thinking, integrate the information at hand, distinguish between what is fact and what is opinion, and then weigh potential outcomes. By thinking critically, instead of reacting emotionally to a problem, we employ strategies which:

Help us learn from an experience Help prevent it from occurring again Result in a reasonable, effective solution

The quality of life we experience is in direct proportion to the quality of our thinking. Critical thinking is self-disciplined, self-monitored and problem solving

thinking. It promotes openmindedness, putting things in perspective, and a positive attitude. When we don't reason or think critically we subject ourselves to fleeting, erratic or unpredictable emotions. Of course, this does not mean we should deny or suppress our emotions, for indeed, they are a vital and significant element of who we are. Instead, we must learn how to make them work for us, not against us. Critical thinking helps us balance our emotions, which in turn leads to good judgment and making informed, good decisions. For the most part, critical thinking does not come naturally. It takes effort, training and practice. As A. E. Mander wrote in his book Logic For the Millions: "Thinking is skilled work. It is not true that we are naturally endowed with the ability to think clearly and logically - without learning how, or without practicing. People with untrained minds should no more expect to think clearly and logically than people who have never learned and never practiced can expect to find themselves good carpenters, golfers, bridge players, or pianists."

Tips On Improving Critical Thinking

Play strategy games, sudoku and solve crossword puzzles. Read more. Reading improves focus, imagination and vocabulary which results in heightened thinking skills. Engage in healthy debates in class or with your friends. Argue both sides of an argument. As Edward De Bono, the lateral thinking psychologist suggests, use the GBI technique, in which you list the good, bad and interesting points of a position.

Look at a problem from as many viewpoints as possible.

Related Articles: How to Think Critically and Problem Solve How to Think For Yourself Keys to Making a Good Decision

Live In The Moment

To live in the moment, or now, means being conscious, aware and in the present with all of your senses. It means not dwelling on the past, nor being anxious or worrying about the future. When we concentrate our attention on the present we focus on the task at hand. We give our full attention to what we are doing and we let go of outcomes. Seizing each moment in life allows us to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. Rather than seeking quantity of time, when welive in the moment we enjoy and savor every minute. We don't sacrifice quality for quantity. Of course, this doesn't mean we don't need to plan, set goals or prepare for the future. We can do all of these things and still enjoy each moment as it unfolds. For instance, if we have set a goal to exercise each day, we would carry on with it while enjoying the actual process, or moment, of exercising (or at least be in the moment of it). When we train ourselves to live in each moment, we immerse ourselves in it and begin to discover its beauty and wonder. We learn focus and how to manage our energy. Professional athletes understand and employ this kind of focus very well. They know that accomplishment and success are a result of the skillful management and balancing of energy. To make every moment count we must embrace it. Everything we do and every person we come in contact with deserves our full attention. Even when resting we should savor the moment. It gives us the opportunity to recharge, renew and gain clarity. Quite often we put huge expectations on ourselves and our lives. We rush to do this, hurry up with that, without actually enjoying the process. What's the rush? Where do we think we're going? If we don't stop and think about where we're at, we're probably missing the point. Instead, when we appreciate each moment and garner the lessons from it, we live consciously, purposefully and responsibly. "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." Buddah

Likewise, when we live in the past and don't let go of painful experiences, perceived wrongs, or difficult times, we condemn ourselves to a present and future of the same. We cannot change the past. We can, however, come to terms with it, know that it's over, and move on. Living in the moment means letting go of the past and trusting in the future. When we are positiveand optimistic in the present, we open the possibility of a positive and promising future. We owe it to ourselves to make every moment count - now!

Tips for Living in The Moment

Train your mind to focus on the current activity. Engage in, and feel what you are doing. Enjoy the process. Learn relaxation techniques in order to be present in each moment. Take notice of your surroundings - sights, sounds, smells, ambiance. Listen attentively to the conversation of others, music, even silence. Savor your food and drink. Taste each morsel.

Benefits of Living in The Moment

You become more connected with your thoughts and feelings Are more connected to others Feel more gratitude and enjoyment of life If you live in the moment, it won't pass you by Feel more focused, peaceful and alive Feel less anxious and fearful

Like all skills, training yourself to enjoy and live in the moment takes time and practice. Begin now and see life from a fresh, new perspective. Carpe diem!

Live In The Moment Quotes The Benefits of Practicing Mindfulness Back to Personal Development Articles

The Benefits of Practicing Mindfulness

Mindfulness was originally developed in the Buddhist traditions of Asia, but today is used as a technique in which a person becomes intentionally and non-judgmentally aware of their thoughts and actions in the present mom ent. It is the practice of being aware of ourselves without getting caught up in thinking about the past or worrying about the future. One of the big challenges we face in this fast-paced, ever changing world is to be present in our own lives. We tend to get so caught up in the frenzy of what's going on around us that we often overlook what's happening in the moment. Why is this a problem? It's a problem because on a dayto-day basis it causes us stress and strain, wear and tear and becomes detrimental to our physical and emotional health. Likewise, left unchecked the mind can wander and unleash all kinds of negative thoughts and emotions including anger, cravings, jealousy, depression and countless others. However, practicing being mindful can harness and manage those thoughts and promote self-awareness and inner calm. Researchers who have studied the effects of those who practice mindfulness found that the subjects generally experience less negative emotions, are more happy andoptimistic, and have more even left-right brain activity. Click image to Learn more One of the big challenges we face in this fast-paced, ever changing world is to be present in our own lives."

How to Put Mindfulness To Practice:

1. Start by making the effort. Make a commitment to change the habits of rushing, functioning haphazardly and not paying attention. Notice areas where you are not being mindful.

2. Slow down. Take a deep breath before beginning an activity, no matter what it is, and focus on the process. 3. Observe yourself. If the present moment involves stress, observe your thoughts and emotions and how they affect your body. Notice when your thoughts are distracting you from the present moment.

4. Practice. Get practice being mindful by performing a task you usually do impatiently or unconsciously, such as brushing your teeth, and do it mindfully.

The Benefits

Helps you stay focused on what's happening in the present. Helps reduce fear/anxiety and promotes feelings of being in control.

Helps prevent binge eating by your making healthier food choices when you pay attention to what you eat.

Helps you more fully experience and enjoy what you are doing. Helps you make better decisions since you are

more present and have the opportunity to assess.

Bolsters your immune system by allowing you to be more relaxed and deliberate.

Reduces stress since you're in tune with your thoughts and your body. Helps you enhance your social and communication skills by becoming a better, more empathetic listener.

Being mindful doesn't mean you'll never be in a hurry, have upsetting thoughts and emotions, or not be able to do more than one thing at once. It merely means that you'll be doing them all more consciously. You will have more insight and awareness of your choices and your ability to make better ones will be enhanced. To have a calmer, more enjoyable existence, make the commitment today to be more mindful and aware of everything you do.

Good Communication Skills Key to Any Success

Good communication skills are key to success in life, work and relationships. Without effective communication, a message can turn into error, misunderstanding, frustration, or even disaster by being misinterpreted or poorly delivered. Communication is the process by which we exchange information between individuals or groups of people. It is a process where we try as clearly and accurately as we can, to convey our thoughts, intentions and objectives. Communication is successful only when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information. In today's highly informational and technological environment it has become increasingly important to have good communication skills.

While many individuals still continue to struggle, the inability to communicate effectively will hold them back not only in their care social and personal relationships.

Important steps for acquiring good communication skills:

1. Know what you want to say and why.

Understand clearly the purpose and intent of your message. Know to whom you are communicating and why. Consider an

you may encounter such as cultural differences or situational circumstances (gender, age, or economic biases). Ask yours outcome you want to achieve and the impression you want to leave. 2. How will you say it?

We're all aware by now, that it's not always what you say, but how you say it that counts. Begin by making eye contact. Y trust and confidence when you look a person in the eyes when you speak. Second, be aware of your body language since

much, or more, than your words. By standing with arms easily at your side you tell others that you are approachable and hearing what they have to say. If instead, your arms are crossed and shoulders hunched, it suggests disinterest or unwilli

communicate. Good posture and an approachable stance help make even difficult communication flow more smoothly. Ma speak in a cooperative, non-adversarial tone. Be nonjudgmental. 3. Listen.

Communication is a two way street. After you've said what you have to say, stop, listen, and look for feedback and clues comprehension. While the person is responding avoid any impulses to cut them off or listen only for the end of the senten

you can blurt out more ideas or thoughts that come to your mind. Respectfully give them your full attention. When they a to ensure that your message has been clearly and correctly understood, ask open questions and encourage discussion. Fin message if necessary. 4. Reach understanding, agreement or consensus. Once you have had to opportunity to discuss your message and the feedback to it, re-visit the purpose of the interchange. Have you reached common ground, solved a problem, or clarified your position? If the purpose was to teach or instruct, have you accomplished your goal? To communicate well is to understand and be understood. Make sure that your message has been received as intended and that any questions or concerns have been alleviated. You can even agree to disagree. There are no guarantees that your communication efforts will be meet with total compliance and agreement. As long as you understand each other, are cordial and respectful, you can still have a successful exchange.

More Tips for Developing Good Communication Skills

To obtain a better command of the English language (or any other language), expand your vocabulary by reading

writing more. Look up words you're not familiar with. The better you are able to express yourself, the better your a to communicate.

Practice your listening skills. Be considerate of other speakers by waiting until they are done before stating your vi Process what has being said before responding.

Learn to understand and appreciate opposing points of view by being open-minded and making an effort to see thi

from another's perspective. It will in turn, gain you more cooperation and understanding.

Avoid trying to communicate when in an emotional state. You lose objectivity and may say something inappropriat regrettable. Take time to think your position through before speaking.

Join an organization such as Toastmasters that encourages you to develop a variety of communication skills as we allowing you the opportunity to meet new and interesting people.

When you take the time to acquire and hone good communication skills you open yourself up to better relationships, more career opportunities, and increased self-confidence. Moreover, you reach higher levels of mutual understanding and cooperation while su attaining your goals.

All new skills take time to refine, however, with effort and practice you can develop good, even exceptional, communication skills.

The Art of Conversation or Improve Your Conversation Skills

The ar t of conver sation like any art is a skill of elegan ce, nuanc e and creativ e execution. I happen to believe that there is an art to everything we do and why not? Without flair and panache most things become drudgery. Why settle for drudgery when you can have art? When it comes to the art of conversation we've all met people who seem to have knack for it. They can talk to anybody about anything and they seem to do it with complete ease. And while it's true that there are those who are born "Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood." William Shakespeare

with the gift of gab, luckily for the rest of us, conversation skills can be developed and mastered. In my article Good Communication Skills - Key to Any Success, I talk about the importance of being a good communicator and I give tips on how to convey ideas and information successfully. Many of the same tips hold true for developing good conversational skills. Have a look at the article for added tips which I won't be repeating here. Conversation is a form of communication; however, it is usually more spontaneous and less formal. We enter conversations for purposes of pleasant engagement, in order to meet new people, to find out information, and to enjoy social interactions. As far as types of conversation, they vary anywhere from intellectual conversations and information exchanges to friendly debate and witty banter. While there is more to having good conversation skills than being a comedian, dramatic actor, or a great story teller, it is not necessary to become more gregarious, animated, or outgoing. Instead, you can develop the ability to listen attentively, ask fitting questions, and pay attention to the answers - all qualities essential to the art of conversation. With diligent practice and several good pointers, anyone can improve their conversation skills.

Tips on How to Improve Your Conversation Skills

Show interest and be curious. People who are genuinely interested in others are usually interesting themselves. Why? Because they are more open to learning about and understanding new things. Showing interest also encourages the other person to be relaxed and share information more freely. Display attentiveness by keeping good eye contact and listening actively. If you happen to be shy and need time to warm up before you share your own views, you can ask open-ended questions or encourage the other person to elaborate on their insights. This kick-starts the conversation and before you

know it you are engaged in a good conversational flow. Ensure there is a balance of give and take. A conversation can get boring quickly if one person is doing all the talking while the other is trying to get a word in edgewise. When that happens whoever is not talking begins to tune out and there is no conversation! There can be many reasons for a lack of give and take. Sometimes nervousness can get in the way and you ramble on without realizing it. Or, nervousness can make you freeze and you don't know what to say next. If you find yourself freezing up, take a deep breath and do your best to focus; smile, and then reflect on what you want to say. If the other person is the rambler and you've tried several times to interject but haven't been able to, then excuse yourself politely and move on. If later on you realize that you were the rambler (heaven forbid), then at least you will have made the most important step towards improvement which is - awareness. Determine whether your tendency to dominate a conversatio n is due to nervousnes s or selfinvolvement . Either way, review the conversatio n in your head. Look for spots where you could have paused and allowed the other person to talk. For future conversations a good rule of thumb is after you make a point, pause for either agreement or an alternative point of view. Observe body language for cues whether to stop or continue. For example, is the person glossy-eyed and therefore bored? Are they moving towards you to speak and you just keep on talking? Are they looking elsewhere (for an escape) while you are carrying on? In a good conversation each person needs to express themselves or it is no longer a conversation but a monologue. Be interesting and have something to say. While you don't have to be a comedian,

entertainer, or brilliant raconteur, you do need to be interestingotherwise what would you say? If you are not well informed, tend not to read much, or have very few interests, you will have very little to talk about except yourself. Unfortunately, no one wants to hear about your latest troubles, conquests, or daily routine. Yet so many dull conversationalists believe that's what people want to hear from them. Who hasn't been stuck with someone at a social event who blathers away about their family history, latest job interview, or the like? To avoid being that person, become knowledgeable about world events, people in the news, or what's going on locally. Take time to keep up with the latestmusic, new technological discoveries, or recent best sellers. No one can know everything, so if you can enlighten someone during the course of a conversation, you'll be a hit! By the same token, you can learn something new as well. Of course, not all conversations are knowledge sharing gatherings or discussions of global import. Many, especially at social functions, consist of light-hearted and cheerful banter. In such cases, be aware of the tone and mood of the conversation and go with the flow. If you are not particularly good at one-liners, or much of a jokester, you can always listen, smile and enjoy the humor. Never act like you feel out of place or ill at ease. Be relaxed, be yourself. If you are on edge, or trying to be someone you're not, it will show and therefore doom a conversation to failure before it starts. Admittedly, if you are not relaxed it's hard to appear as if you are. Slow down and take a deep breath. If you don't do your best to relax, you will end up saying something silly, unintelligible, or unrelated to the conversation. Also smile warmly; it will make you appear pleasant and therefore more approachable. Worth noting: if you are trying to hard to be something you're not, you will come across as a fake or a wannabe.

To start a conversation, go up to someone and introduce yourself. It is both polite and necessary to start things off smoothly. If the occasion calls for it, you can offer a handshake and then smile and make eye contact. Being friendly puts the other person at ease and opens the door for them to introduce themselves. If, for whatever reason, your attempt is not well-received and you notice the other person is cool or standoffish, bow out gracefully and move on. Do not take it as a rejection; merely consider that the person has their reasons for not reciprocating. Perhaps they are not feeling well, have had a bad day, or are not in the mood for conversation. To improve, practice and then practice some more. The art of conversation, like any skill, takes practice. Do not expect to be adept after your first few attempts. It will take practice as well as exposure to many different social situations. A good way to get practice before you venture out to an event is with family membersand people you are comfortable with. They can give you helpful and supportive feedback, which in turn gives you something to work on. You can never have too much practice!

Quick-Tips for The Art of Conversation

Do not dominate a conversation or make it all about you. A monologue is not conversation. Show interest and curiosity in others. Strive for a balance of give and take. Be an active listener by maintaining good eye contact and asking pertinent questions.

Train yourself to relax by using visualization, meditation, or other relaxation methods. Being relaxed is vital for good conversation.

Do not interrupt and cut in with your

own ideas before the other person is finished speaking.

Maintain an open mind; everyone has a right to express themselves even if you don't agree with what they are saying.

Although this is clich, try to avoid topics such as sex, religion and politics. You would be surprised at how many people get trapped by them and end up in verbal battle, not conversation.

Be prepared by staying on top of the latest news, developments and world events. Be approachable by staying relaxed, smiling and maintaining a friendly attitude.

Possessing the art of conversation improves personal, social and work relationships. It gives you the opportunity to meet interesting new people and introduces you to various new topics and subject matter. With practice and application anyone can improve their conversation skills. Quotes on Conversation Good Communication Skills Be An Interesting Person

We all come in different SHAPES and

SIZES

We all have

STRENGTHS and weaknesses.

What's right for one person may not be right for another. There are things that are important to me, that you don't care about at all! And sometimes your behavior doesn't make any sense to me. But I want for us to understand each other, and communicate well, because we live together in the same world.

I know I can't expect you to want the same things that I want. We are not the same person, so we will not always see things the same way.

I have my own Thoughts and my own Ideas, that may or may not fit into your vision of who I should be. By learning more about my own Personality, and about other Personality Types, I can come to a better understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. I can improve my interpersonal relationships, realign my expectations towards others, and gain a better self-knowledge that will help me define and achieve goals.

Learn instant self hypnosis today

There are times when you may need to access instant states of hypnosis, relaxation and resource. For example, maybe you'll need to instantly hypnotically prepare before an unexpected speech or some other unforeseen situation where you need to perform at your best. Maybe there will be a time when you have to control pain or anxiety levels very quickly at short notice. Those who master instant self-hypnosis master many of their own physical processes. When you begin to experience hypnotic phenomena such as the ability to self-hypnotize instantly suddenly all kinds of other things in your life start to feel possible. The more you experience anything the quicker and easier it becomes. Learning instant hypnosis is like clearing a path through a forest. The more you go down that path the easier and quicker it is to travel it.

A shortcut to trance and deep relaxation

This session is going to train your mind to be able to access deep hypnosis extremely quickly. Learn Instant Self Hypnosis will take you into a deep trance state, then teach you a simple short cut to that deep trance state. You will gain the confidence that deep focus and relaxation is available to you at a moment's notice. Download Learn Instant Self Hypnosis now and start unlocking your own hypnotic potential.