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Kristin McNulty Professor Laughton English Writing 102 10/7/2013 1,549 words An Educated Woman The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living, differ from the dead. Education is particularly important in determining the quality of our lives. At birth a human being is nothing but a vacant slate accompanied by a hierarchy of needs. As intricate and complex as the psychological need and the will to survive are these alone are not sufficient enough to keep us alive. The blank slate must be written upon through education to give us the knowledge we need to thrive and survive. It allows us to have a much greater quality of life and sense of self. Education is what prepares the doctor to deliver the baby, the mother to care for her child, and the father to care for his family. While some people think that rewarding students to excel in their education is inappropriate, humans (in general), will not do anything without being rewarded, and just as the alcoholic drinks to feel the effects produced by alcohol or the somnolent traveler stops to rest, I believe that many students will work harder to attain impeccable grades when there is an incentive, monetary or otherwise, that is more instantaneous than a high school diploma four years in the making. My experience with education was not one with a carrot dangling from the end of string. I did not get paid to get good grades. My family was a low income one and we struggled to make ends meet. There was no extra money to pay five children to get

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good grades. Additionally, my parents are old school folks and traditionally oldfashioned people believe that earning good grades is to be expected. In an article titled As School Starts, Parents Pay for Good Grades published by The Fiscal Times in September of 2012 it is written When it comes to getting good marks in school, the traditional reward is an old-fashioned pat on the back. . . Coincidentally, my experience was that excellent grades were my responsibility as a young adult and aside from laundry duty for a family of seven, it was my only job. My reward for fine grades was a parental pat on the back along with a Job well done honey!, and although it helped me to feel good, the reward did not seem to be large enough. The payout was not worth all of the hard work. However, I must admit that had I received a monetary gift or a real paycheck for the hours and hours of effort I would have worked even harder, and a loving That a girl, from my parents or teachers would have been a pleasant bonus. Unfortunately, when I was younger I neither understood nor did I care much about getting a first-rate education; it was not one of those things that topped the priority list. I did not truly know what it meant to be uneducated and believed I was already smart enough. Unbelievably, I was raised in a good home and my parents were loving and inspirational. Additionally, I had lots of siblings, and although my parents worked hard to provide for us five children, doing the best they could to teach us good manners, excellent values, and even better morals, I did not quite turn out as they planned. I fought them at every turn, and that includes acting out in school. I partied with my friends whenever I wanted; sometimes sneaking out of the house to do it, and more often than not my homework went uncompleted. In 1983 at age seventeen I was

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pregnant and married. It was a struggle to finish out my senior year of school. I missed sixty-four days of school that year. The principle called me to the office and said to me Kristin, if you miss one more day of school you will not be allowed to graduate. My response to him was You are lucky I am even here. I have a baby to bring to daycare every day. Despite my attitude, I left the principals office that day and did not miss another minute of school that year. In 1984 I graduated at the bottom of my class (an uneducated woman walking), with little to no self esteem, and no hope for the future. In retrospect, I have come to realize that life is but a sequence of actions with corresponding consequences. For every action there is a reaction and for every single choice that is made there is a reward. The prize may or may not be incidental or monetary but there is most definitely a reward. At the same time there may also be a negative consequence to my actions. For example, when I am hungry I eat food and the reward is a stomach that doesnt hurt. When I work hard at my job all week the reward is a hefty paycheck on payday. Furthermore, if I help a friend I get a warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that I did a good deed. When I forgave the cheating husband, taking him back one more time, the reward was not having to feel alone or not feeling like a failure. When I partied at school with the cool kids, I felt like I belonged. When I did not do my homework I had more time to spend with my baby. Each of the aforementioned choices had a reward. I am a Homosapien, and like most humans do, I weigh the pros and cons of every decision (this may take but a millisecond). I take into account what the reward will be, how long will it take to acquire it, and I almost always make the decision to go with the option that provides the greater reward (based on my perception at the time); additionally, it has been my experience that I prefer the instant gratification.

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Moreover, as a young adult it was hard for me to understand the long term consequences of my actions. I could not fathom what the negative consequences would be and much like an alcoholic I preferred instant gratification to waiting for greater payoff at the end. In the book Alcoholics Anonymous William D. Silkworth, M.D. states, Men and woman drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit that it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the truth from the false. As a young adult I loved the effect produced by feeling accepted by my peers. I liked the effect produced by feeling like I finally belonged, and enjoyed the effect produced by feeling like a cool kid. Truthfully, in the deepest crevices of my mind I knew that failing my classes would harm me, but being cool and accepted was far more important (and instant) than any education would ever be. Today I realize that could not have been any further from reality. Today I wish that I had made better choices. Today I wish that the truth would not have been so elusive. Today I wish that the incentive to get better grades in high school would have been greater than the incentive to feel as though I belonged, was loved and accepted. Finally, I have paid dearly for embracing the idea of instant gratification versus waiting for the long term payout. I have had many relationship troubles, and two failed marriages. I have spent a lifetime masking my feelings, and running from truth. I have spent many years in dead end jobs, and struggling financially. In lieu of that, I have recently (for the past six and a half years) begun to make changes. By working with a spiritual adviser, on the many aspects of my life, I have finally begun to see the truth. I can see the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and that the instant gratification of taking the cheating husband back was a lie. I can see the importance of

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facing my feelings head on and that masking them only delays the inevitable. I can see the importance of a really good education and that the good feelings I gained by being accepted was not the most important thing in my life. Being accepted is important to me, but I do not measure my self-worth by it any longer. My life experience has made me what I am today, and I am rather grateful for the struggles and the successes. The School of Hard Knocks has given me the desire to change, an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, and the desire to earn a superb education. Additionally, I can admit that the road to a better life has been a lot of hard work and that although I have gained the ability to see beyond today (and to wait for the delayed gratification), I do still require some instant gratification or rewards for the hard work that I do. It makes the journey more bearable. At the moment, I am not paid to go to school and get better than passing grades, but if I did it would make it a more pleasurable experience. If I were paid to get outstanding grades I would not have to wait so long for a gigantic payoff or work so hard at a job earning a modest paycheck, and I could spend more quality time on my studies, however, I do enjoy my usual occupation and I really love school; but most importantly I have finally begun to walk among the living as an educated woman.