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dslcontents
Nexus Vol. 19, Issue 17 – Spring 2009
email: nexus@nexusnewspaper.com
Website: www.nexusnewspaper.com
Publisher: nexus Publishing society [a c t i v i s m] [ h u m o u r]
neXus PuBlisHinG sOciety
student BOArd memBers
4 Guerilla gardeners 17 spring is blooming
Jeff Baldry By Alan Piffer By shane scott-travis
Zan comerford instead of having garage Before celebrating
Andrea moir sales, these gardeners Bloomsday, you might
Jason motz turn junk into life. want to know the facts...
shane scott-travis
mAnAGinG editOr [a r t s]
Jason schreurs [o u t d o o r s]
student editOr 18 comic crazy
tessa cogman 6 spring Games ‘09 By shane scott-travis
By Brendan Kergin A look into the socially
cOPy editOr
Alan Piffer Okay, put down the books relevant world of comic books.
and take up some of these
lAyOut editOr outside activities.
laila Brown
stAff PHOtOGrAPHer [f o o d ]
courtney clarke
[ l i f e] 20 Good, cheap grub
AdvertisinG sAles By Jenna sedmak
Jason schreurs 10 sex trade the best spots in victoria for
250-370-3591 (local)
By Keltie larter tasty, inexpensive eating.
campus Plus
Would you like some oral with
1-800-265-5372 (national)
that? students who pay their
distriButiOn way through school as escorts. 21 look who’s eating too
Ashley moore By donald Kennedy and Guy
Adrian Binakaj Alaimo
cOntriButOrs: [s e x /a d v i c e] sans sombreros, our food
Guy Alaimo critics hit up Orale tacos.
Adrian Binakaj 12 A slice of variety
chris Burnett
By Keltie larter and Breanna [c o l u m n]
Breanna carey
carey
sarah dart
donald Kennedy some ground rules for 22 Giving it up
Brendan Kergin threesomes, and advice By Kelly marion
Keltie larter on kissing the same sex. Our columnist forgoes all
Kelly marion caffeine for two weeks and
Alan Piffer turns into ms. Hyde.
Jenna sedmak [f e a t u r e]
shane scott-travis
13 Weight loss
[c o m i c s]
empowerment
By chris Burnett 23 the best of Binakaj
the views and opinions expressed herein are those of the
A triumphant story of By Adrian Binakaj
authors, not of the nexus Publishing society. One copy of one student’s battle this comic artist has had us
discover student life (nexus magazine) is available per issue,
per person for free. nexus and discover student life are against the bulge. in awe from the very start. A
printed on recycled paper. Please recycle your copy. thanks!
collection of some of his work.

Spring 2009 3
Ac t i v ism

Guerilla gardeners reclaim the c

the philosophy of reclaiming our green
spaces.
“There’s two takes on it; one’s political—
making a statement to your community,
and to the government, on utilizing green
spaces,” says Graham. “There are so many
green spaces out there that are just barren,
and the city or community’s doing nothing
with them.”
As is implied by their name, Guerilla
Gardeners get out there and plant, regard-
less of the legalities.
“It’s not about getting permission; you
just do it,” explains Graham. “So you go
out, day or night, it depends on the people.
Some people like the day because they
like to interact with the community. Some
people like it at night; they just do it for
themselves. But you can leave signs saying
what it is.”
Graham says the other aim of guerilla
gardening is artistic expression.
“It’s making a statement, but in an
artistic way,” says Graham. “So just going
up and putting planters up on poles, and
leaving shoes with flowers around.”
Graham was introduced to guerilla gar-
dening through a book given to her as a gift,
and was intrigued by reading about making
“seed balls”—little balls of clay, mixed with
seeds and compost, with the ability to self-
germinate when placed in soil.
“I was given a book by a friend called
The Guerilla Art Kit. The whole idea of
making seed balls was in there, which is
part of guerilla gardening,” says Graham.
“It’s everything I love—political, artistic,
gardening. So I just started that, put up
flyers to get more people interested, and
it’s slowly building.”
Graham says Guerilla Gardening re-
quired a lot of research on her part, learning
about the proper plants to use, and to avoid
planting invasive species. She also explains
there are many ways in which to make your
surroundings greener, including planting
seeds in sidewalk cracks.
While a lot of this activity is technically
illegal, Graham explains the authorities
would be unlikely to crack down on such
behaviour, citing the example of the efforts
of two Fernwood ladies utilizing a city lawn
for gardening.
Alan Piffer nature is around us is a little sterile and “That green space there is technically
Staff Writer artificial. city property; the city knows they’re doing

I n Canada’s urban centres many people But there’s a movement afoot aiming it, they don’t really have permission, but the
feel a profound disconnect between to change all that. Sheena Graham, a local city’s letting them getting away with it.”
themselves and nature. And much of what “guerilla gardener,” is trying to promote But there is the potential for trouble;

 discover student life

e city
usually this would involve trespassing
rather than the actual act of clandestine
gardening.
“Say you go onto a vacant house prop-
erty, or there’s lots of buildings that are
vacant, and you started gardening on that
land, they probably won’t do anything,”
says Graham. “It’s just going to be a waste
of taxpayer money. It really depends on
where you live, too.”
Graham feels guerilla gardening is a vital
form of community activism.
“More people are putting a foot down
to their city and their community, saying,
‘Why aren’t we utilizing this space? There’s
people that are hungry; why not make
vegetable gardens?’ And it gets it out there,”
says Graham. “So even if somebody were
arrested, it would kind of be good. More
people would know about it.”
While Victoria’s guerilla gardening scene
isn’t as established as those of larger centres
like Vancouver, Victoria is an ideal candidate
Spring 2009
for the movement.
“There are so many “Here, people have heard about it, but I
don’t think anybody’s really taking action,”
says Graham. “Victoria’s the perfect area to
green spaces out do it, because of its green space—it’s just a
good environment to do it in. There’s a lot
there that are just of people who don’t have a lot of money to
buy vegetables and fruits that you need to
barren, and the be healthy.”
According to Graham, this, along with
city or other movements re-connecting society with
nature, is the way of the future.
“I feel like society’s becoming more bal-
community’s doing anced, in the way of, yes, there’s technology,
but we don’t have to rely on it, and we can
nothing with rely on ourselves and be more self-sustain-
able,” says Graham. “So guerilla gardening is
them.” kind of being more self-sustainable. It’s tak-
ing your health and food into your own hands
and going out and doing something about it.
Sheena Graham
Guerilla Gardener
I think it’s going to be a big thing.”
For more info, email urban_war_fare@
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 Ou t dOOr s

S pring Game

6 discover student life

mes ‘09: Getting active By Brendan Kergin
Photos: COurtney Clarke

Springtime is here. Flowers have bloomed. Birds are

chirping. Bees are making sweet, sweet
bee love. It’s a beautiful time, and probably quite bountiful for those in the
insect porn industry.
But if gardening isn’t your thing, if you equate bird-watching to watching
paint dry, and if you don’t enjoy watching invertebrates mate, then there are
plenty of other outdoor spring activities out there, many of them legal.
For those students looking for something a little different from endless
jogging or the odd game of tennis, but still want to do it in public, we’ve
come across a medley of urban or suburban pastimes. From the world’s
biggest scavenger hunt, to the “ultimate” in disc-based games. From a
super simple yet über-cool way to get from point A to point B, to schoolyard
games gone street. From . . . well, it’s just the four activities today, but there
are others out there.
Geocaching find the geocache.
Geocaching is the world’s biggest game, Then, once you’re successful in the wilds
bar none. It has to be. It uses the entire of, say, Mt. Doug, return home and log your
globe. Essentially orienteering mated with find on the geocache’s home page, alerting
a scavenger hunt, and using the Global the world that you are a truly amazing hu-
Positioning System (GPS) as a pirate map, man being for finding a lunch container in
participants hunt for booty wherever booty a local park.
may be hid. Geocaching can provide endless hours
Okay, it isn’t quite that haphazard, lists of hiking, searching, and exploring. With
of geocaches can be found on the internet. about 1,000 hidden locations in the Victoria
Checking out a website like geocaching.com area (including one at Camosun College’s
will give you the locations of hundreds of Lansdowne campus), the capital region is a
thousands of Tupperware containers around hotbed for this burgeoning activity.
the world. A wide variety of geocaches are out there
But, one hinge, the locations are listed for the absolute beginner, the super lazy non-
as coordinates. You could use a map, pen, outdoorsy type, and even the “Grizzly Adams
calculator, and a couple other analogue was a pussy compared to me.”
instruments, which would be difficult, time- The only costs associated are the GPS
consuming, and absolutely ludicrous. unit, batteries, and transportation.
Instead, geocachers use GPS receiv- To get started you can check out geo-
ers—small, cell phone-like devices that’ll tell caching.com, which is the main listing site,
you your location on Earth and which direction or vigps.com for local geocachers.
to go to get to another location.
If you have a GPS in your car, it’s similar, Parkour
but that one probably won’t work. The best One of the most buzz-worthy activities
bet for a cheap GPS unit is the internet. nowadays is parkour (or its flashy sibling,
eBay generally has second-hand units for free running).
under $50 US. After stints on the Bond flick Casino
Once you find the hidden containers, Royale and a Madonna music video, parkour
treasures are located inside them, usually has receded a little, back into athletics and
some McDonald’s toys or dollar store gifts. shoe company ads. Despite this, it’s still a
The idea is you trade an item of yours for an blast.
item you want and then sign the logbook. I know, right, something that’s still a blast
While it’s not necessary to trade an item every after it’s faded from the mainstream!
time, you are supposed to sign in once you This is a much more physically demand-
CONT. >>>

Spring 2009 
Ou t door s
ing pastime. It requires some athletic ability,
good balance, and a willingness to fall down
a couple times.
A French invention, parkour has some
of its basis in the philosophy of movement
and strength. But to most beginners it just
looks fucking awesome to have abilities just
below the superheroes.
While free running is based more on free-
dom of movement and expressing oneself
through speed and agility, parkour is more
pragmatic. Participants (traceurs) liken it
more to a martial art, with no set rules or
competition.
So how is it different from a martial
art?
 discover student life
Instead of being combative, it’s transpor-
tation. If a gang attacks you in an alleyway,
someone trained in kung fu might try to fight.
A traceur will be able to run away, no matter
what, in any direction.
Originally, parkour developed out of the
idea of training oneself physically to enable
a person.
If the big earthquake ever does hit this
town, it’ll be the guys well versed in the art
of parkour who will be able to get around
the easiest.
It’s very much like regular training, but
with a creative edge.
Some basic moves are common, but
each traceur is free to try and develop their
own abilities in to new moves for different
situations.
For those interested in trying it out, it’s
super easy to get started. Plenty of videos
are on YouTube, including some instruc-
tional ones.
Once you see it a couple of times, it’s
much easier to grasp the concept of how
it’s done.
At full speed, it looks like the guy went
through the wall, or fell directly from the top
of the building, but after closer inspection
he slid his feet over the wall, or purposefully
bounced on a couple things on the way to
the ground.
Those with poor natural ability need not
fear; even the best traceurs out there didn’t
start out perfect. Balance and agility become
heightened with practice.
The only suggestion for parkour gear is
some good shoes. Grip and shock absorption
are important, so tuck away the Pumas or
Chuck Taylors and pull out something a little
more “gym class.”
“Jackasses need
not sign up; Sean
Avery would never
make it as an
Ultimate player.”
Ultimate Frisbee
Disc golf has long been popular on the
lower island, with courses on the UVic cam-
pus, in Colwood, and an awesome series of
baskets on Pender Island. But disc golf has a
bigger, friendlier cousin. It’s bigger because
it’s a bigger Frisbee. It’s friendlier because
it’s a team sport.
Ultimate Frisbee has had a slow burn
to popularity, though there are some small
leagues and even a world cup. And there is
an official set of rules, but the spirit of the
game is still super chill. It has to be. Frisbees
are inherently chill.
Therefore, no refs. Even in high-level
games between two real clubs, it’s all self-of-
ficiated. Which means the true spirit of sport
needs to be in all players. Jackasses need not
sign up; Sean Avery would never make it as
an Ultimate player.
The basics of the game are pretty simple,
and unless a league sprouts up in your
social group overnight, the basics are all
you need.
A cross between European handball and
football, the point is to get the Frisbee from
your zone to the other team’s end zone.
There’s to be no running with the disc. As
soon as it’s caught, you must make a valiant
effort to stop. Immediately!
Spring 2009
Once stopped, everyone starts count-
ing off 10 seconds. You must throw it before
people reach either zero or 10, depending on
which way people count.
Only one defender is allowed close to you,
so at best they can block half the field. They
aren’t allowed to touch you or the Frisbee.
Then simply throw the damn thing and
hope your team catches it. If it falls to the
ground or the other team gets it, your op-
ponents will get a shot at it.
Fouls are called when contact sufficient
to arouse the ire of the player fouled occurs.
That’s from the original rules, developed on
a college campus in the eastern US.
That’s right, it’s originally a college sport.
Students should be playing this! Club names
reflect quirky college humour, with teams
such as the Knights of Nee and GOAT.
An Ultimate Frisbee organization is
located in Victoria, so check out vups.bc.ca
for more info.
Or at least buy a Frisbee, get a few friends,
and try out the basic rules.
Schoolyard on the street
What games were popular in your ele-
mentary school? Capture the flag? Hide and
seek?
Now, do you want to relive your early
school days? No? Well, how about just the
good parts during recess?
Yeah, thought you might. Victoria has a
very active downtown core, and possibly more
so than many students might imagine.
Almost weekly manhunt games are going
on, and other groups organize open, random
games such as capture the flag and the odd
flash mob.
The manhunt is super easy to get involved
with. There’s a Facebook group and a blog at
manhuntvictoria.blogspot.com
These guys go out for a couple of hours
and play a version of tag, crossed with
some hide and seek tactics, using urban
green spaces as their general place of fun,
though some games have taken place in
indoor malls. it takes are the balls to go out and be active
Capture the flag is much more difficult instead of staying home, scared of a social
to discover. It’s somewhat similar to a flash group outside of your own.
mob, playing in public. Schoolyards are where people generally
Participants must be careful not to in- learn their basic social skills, so what better
terrupt the public’s daily routine, but at way to use those hopefully more developed
the same time the mere presence of adults skills than on a similar playing field?
playing games out in a the city can be cause The biggest issue for most of these par-
for pause. ticipatory team events is lack of those willing
Most people, especially tourists, don’t to be co-conspirators in random fun.
mind the strange distraction from the norm, Players should be aware of a few laws,
as long as people are enjoying themselves. mostly trespassing issues, which means
Semi-organized, free drop-in games can reading signs.
usually be found online if you look around (try The rest of the land downtown is public.
searching “Victoria, BC capture the flag”). Using it is our right, and using it in unique
Like the drop-in sports at Camosun, all and new ways is super fun!
photo: ChrisShier
l if e
Working in the sex trade
A former Camosun College student bares a
Keltie Larter
Contributing Writer
S he gets good grades, loves her dog,
plays guitar, and jogs for half an hour
every morning.
Ashley (not her real name) transferred
to UVic last fall after spending three years
at Camosun studying liberal arts. She looks
like an average student; a little tired around
the eyes, wearing jeans, and carrying a book
bag and coffee mug.
What her fellow students wouldn’t guess
about Ashley is that at the end of the school
day, when the rest of us go home to eat
dinner and cram for exams, she trades in
her binders and textbooks for stiletto high
heels, fake eyelashes, and sexy lingerie. As
a means to finance her journey through the
hallowed halls of the Young and Clearihue
buildings, Ashley works nights as a call girl
for a local escort agency.
Now 28, Ashley has been working as an
escort since she was 20. Before that, she
worked as a cashier in a retail store, but had a
hard time making ends meet. She heard trad-
ing sexual favours for money could be very
lucrative. She didn’t feel uncomfortable with
the idea, so she decided to check it out.
Ashley looked up escort agencies in
the phone book and set up interviews with
each one to find out how it all worked. Then
she chose the agency that best suited her
needs.
On her first day Ashley was extremely
nervous. “The first time [having sex with
a client] was scary,” she says. But her co-
workers helped to put her at ease. “The
people there were really nice to me; after
the first day it became pretty routine, like
a normal job.”
Ashley says her clients are respectful and
kind, and in eight years she has never found
herself in a position where she felt unsafe.
Although Ashley’s situation is not unusual
because she works indoors and not on the
street, the dangers associated with working
in the sex industry are very real.
According to Simon Fraser University
criminologist John Lowman, women working
as prostitutes are are at much greater risk
of violent crime than the mainstream public.
Also, the Public Health Agency of Canada
states that sex workers are especially vulner-
able to sexually transmitted infections.
10
But therapists who work closely with
women in the sex industry say emotional im-
pact and social stigma can also have a lasting
effect, even after exiting the profession.
“There are many things that can be
dangerous for workers,” says local therapist
Leah MacInnes. “It can affect how you feel
about yourself, but it’s different for different
women. There’s a lot of judgment in society
and hiding what they do can cause emotional
stress.”
Despite Ashley’s initial fears her first
time, the money was great.
“I’d never made so much money in such
a short period of time before, and I thought
it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go back again,”
she says.
Ashley has on
more than one
occasion provided
sexual services for
Camosun College
professors.
But not everyone agrees being an escort
is an ideal way to earn a living. Camosun
student Josh McKinnis feels it’s a degrading
way to make money. “I don’t think they should
do it,” says McKinnis. “I know it’s hard out
there to find jobs, for men and women, but
it’s something that is not appropriate.”
Fellow student Fletcher Evans agrees. “It
should be illegal. It’s unsafe and demoralizing
for a woman; she’s like an object. You pay
to rent a car; you pay to have sex with a girl.
You can try to justify the situation by paying
to go to school, but there must be a better
way to get money.”
Some women’s rights advocates, such as
the Camosun College Women’s Centre, take
a different stance on Ashley’s career choice,
saying each person has a right to make a
living how they choose, as long as they are
not harming anyone.
“It’s not a route I would choose, but if you
feel good in your body and you feel comfort-
able sharing it, then I don’t see any problem
with that,” says Natalie Schlogl, Women’s
Centre support staffer. “Of course, being safe
and using protection is important.”
Many wonder how escorts and escort
agencies manage to operate in Victoria
without having to answer to the strong arm of
the law. The answer is they operate within a
legal grey area. Technically, prostitution isn’t
illegal in Canada, and never has been. What
is illegal is for a sex worker or her client to
verbally discuss the exchange of sexual acts
for money or other material possessions.
So escorts can sell their bodies, but they
can’t solicit customers or set a price for their
services. It’s also illegal to operate a brothel
(an establishment dedicated to prostitution),
profit from someone else selling sexual ser-
vices (commonly known as pimping), or tell
someone where to find sex for money.
But here’s the loophole—escorts don’t
sell their bodies, they sell their time. And
what goes on between two adults during
that time is, well, nobody’s “business” but
their own.
As to what actually does go on between
an escort and her client behind closed doors,
there are different scenarios. The escort can
either go to the client (out-call), or can be
visited at their agency (in-call).
Some escorts will provide a GFE (girl-
friend experience), which means different
things for different people, but often includes
kissing on the lips, cuddling, or “dining at
the Y” (oral sex)—things usually done with
a more emotionally intimate partner. Some
escorts do duos with other escorts (a very
popular choice). There are also CBJs (condom
blowjobs), nude massages, fetish scenarios
(use your imagination, but it’ll cost more),
and Greek (anal sex).
And what about the “Johns” (the custom-
ers)? Who are the people whose hard-earned
dollars fuel the growing sex industry in North
America?
Lauren Casey is a former sex worker who
has been living in Victoria for the past five
years and is the former executive director of
the Prostitute Empowerment Education and
Resource Society (PEERS). Like Ashley, Casey
discover student life
es all
also put herself through school working as an
escort, earning a BA and later an MA.
In Casey’s experience, the men paying for
the services of escorts or other sex workers
are just normal guys, many of whom are
married and have families.
“They’re not little trenchcoat guys running
around Johnson Street, flashing people,”
says Casey.
Casey explains that because sex work
sees a lot of turnover, it’s hard to say exactly
how many workers are in the Victoria area.
She estimates at least five local escort agen-
cies and somewhere around 1,500 sex work-
ers working in agencies, as independents, or
on the street.
“Society tends to cast the whole net on
the workers and little attention is paid to
the fact that [the sex industry] is not going
to go away, because, well, there’s always the
buyer,” says Casey.
Speaking of the buyers, privacy is always
a concern for those working in the sex trade,
but Ashley is not really concerned with her
two worlds colliding. She protects her secret
well.
Occasionally, she crosses paths with one
of her clients in a public place. Usually it’s
understood that both parties behave very
discretely, but she admits there have been
unfortunate occasions where a client has
approached her in public.
Ashley says while she has never had a
fellow student as a client, she has on more
than one occasion provided sexual services
for Camosun College professors. She says,
although they weren’t her professors at the
time, they were aware she was a Camosun
student.
“I’ve had profs from Camosun come to the
agency to see me; if it’s awkward, I always
ask if they want to see someone else,” she
says, “but usually they’re more than willing
to hang out with me for that time.”
And Ashley’s situation is not uncommon.
She estimates about one-quarter of the girls
she has worked with over the past eight years
have been post-secondary students.
“Contrary to the image that society
portrays, most of the girls are pretty normal,
come from middle-class families, and choose
to be working in this industry,” says Ashley.
“We are not the victims that society makes
Photo: Courtney Clarke
us out to be.”
Spring 2009 11
se X & A dv ice
Inter-course
Three’s company
the most common sexual fantasy must
be the threesome. there’s just something so
tantalizing about throwing an extra person into
the mix. But threesomes aren’t like regular
sex, and if you plan on having one, or just
hope like hell you might one day, you need to
know what you’re getting into and following
some basic rules will help to make sure your
three-way is a success.
Rule #1: there are no rules! Just kidding.
you should definitely lay out some ground
rules if possible beforehand. Although spon-
taneity is a key factor in a good threesome,
everyone has different boundaries and needs.
this rule is especially important if two of you
are in a relationship. make sure you know
how far everyone is willing to go. Are you all
comfortable with penetration? Oral sex? Kiss-
. a little post-coital cuddling, but then go your
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12
ing? And if you’re in a two-men/one-woman
or two-women/one-man threesome, are the
two people of the same sex comfortable
with engaging sexually with each other, or
will they both focus on the member of the
opposite sex?
Rule #2: don’t fuck your friends! you can
bend this rule if all three participants are
single and very confident that the friendship
can handle it, but i strongly recommend if
you’re a couple looking for a third person,
find someone you don’t have to be around all
the time. seriously, it can get really messy, so
try to avoid it.
Rule #3: make sure no one feels left out.
remember that when there are three people
involved it’s less of a give and take situation
and more of a share and share alike. if you’re
having penetrative sex with one person, make
By Keltie lArter
sure to caress the other person, look them in
the eyes, and talk to them. if the two other
people are busy with each other, find a way
to be involved. Kiss them, caress their necks
or good bits, give oral sex to one person if the
positioning is right, or maybe just masturbate
while watching the other two go at it.
Rule #4: Be safe! make sure to use sep-
arate condoms when penetrating different
people and while giving a hummer. either
use one hand for each person and keep it that
way, or clean your hands with disinfecting gel
between partners. using a dental dam while
“dining at the y” is a good idea too. After all,
the only thing you want to take away from a
threesome is good memories!
Rule #5: don’t get wasted! While alcohol
is not a bad idea to loosen things up at first,
keep your consumption to a minimum. too
much booze will mess with your equipment
and your judgment.
Rule #6: spending the night is probably
not a great idea. Having a threesome is mostly
about fulfilling a fantasy, and waking up next
to each other in the morning can be awkward.
that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t indulge in
separate ways. this rule is especially import-
ant to follow if two of you are in a relationship.
chances are you’ll need some alone time
to process everything that’s happened and
reaffirm your connection to each other. make
sure to discuss this when laying down ground
rules so no one is left feeling rejected.
Ask anything
By BreAnnA cArey
Q: I’m probably not the only woman on the
planet who ever does this, but on more than
one occasion I have locked lips with one of my lovely
lady friends. Now I’m all confused about it and not
too sure if I want to keep playing it straight.
A: You have to love the college years, hey? It’s
when everyone gets their squirrelly behaviour
out of their system before they settle down, right?
You might be the type to accidentally fall into a
situation you never expected would go further
than a kiss. Ladies do this all the time for attention
and free drinks. It can be really hot for the guys to
see, and why not embrace your feminine power by
making out with other girls? A few kisses typically
aren’t enough to cause a switch, but it may chal-
lenge your demeanor. Be honest with what you
want and, if you like, discreetly play both sides. You
might surprise yourself or re-affirm your previous
thoughts. Talk to someone you trust (who won’t
think you’re hitting on them) and relax, you have
your entire life to decide who you want to be.
discover student life
 f e At ure

l osing the baggage

One student’s story of dropping 120 pounds and starting life over

i
By chriS BUrnett
PHOtOs: cOurtney clArKe

looked up the definition of the word “fat”

the other day. it was defined as “the ester
of glycerol” and “one, two, or three fatty
acids.” that’s not what fat really means.
fat means being teased. it means you’re
tired all the time. it means you wear enough
clothes to cover up the “fatty acids” clinging
to your body.
it means you’re ashamed of what you’ve
done to your body, and the realization you
can’t do anything about it—you’re too far-
gone. you’re going to be a “fat-ass” for the
rest of your life. no romantic relationships,
no swimming with your shirt off. Pass the
burger and fries; it’s game over.
that was my thinking about two years
ago. it was march of 2006, and i held three
tickets in my hand to a stars on ice figure
skating show at the save-on-foods memorial
Arena.
my grandmother was visiting from nova
scotia, and my brother and i decided it would
be a great idea to take her to the show. i put
on my usual t-shirt with a flannel shirt on
top, along with a hoodie and a puffy vest. i
was a fashion nightmare.
As my brother and grandmother took
their seats, i discovered something that
horrified me. i couldn’t fit into the seat. my
“love handles” wedged themselves against
the chair’s side arms and my 283-pound body
was suspended in mid-air. this, needless to
say, was fucking embarrassing.
luckily, my brother was occupied trying
to explain something to my grandma and
never saw my cirque de soleil handles-of-
love seat trick. i forced myself into the seat
and sat there, bleeding on both sides for
two and a half hours.
there i was, in agonizing pain, watching
men in spandex pants flying through the air.
“it’s for Grammie,” i told myself, so i endured.
i made it back home, went up to my room,
and cried myself to sleep.
i was a reasonably healthy kid in the first
few years of my life. i started playing sports
with my brothers and began playing in a
soccer league. Around the age of six, i used
to wake up really early every weekend and
watch morning cartoons and sports. it was
one of those weekends where it all began.
i began to travel down a path i wouldn’t
escape from for the next 15 years. i crawled
up on top of the kitchen counter and grabbed

CONT. >>>

Spring 2008 13
F e at ure
six cookies from the cookie tin on the top shelf.
Why six? Because cookies are delicious, that’s
why. So every weekend I ate my cookies and
lived the life.
I steadily gained more and more pounds
as I grew older, and by high school I was
classified as being a “morbidly obese” teen-
ager. When you’re fat and in high school, you
generally have a rough go of it.
It was there I began covering myself up
with clothes, trying to hide my very public
secret. In gym class, when everyone was
in shorts and a t-shirt, I was in shorts and
a hoodie.
I loved sports; I loved scoring goals and
smacking a ball with a bat as hard as I could.
But when it came to running around the bases,
or trying to get open for a pass, my weight
quickly became an issue.
I was always completely out of breath
before reaching first base. I couldn’t get past
the halfway line of the soccer field without
wanting to drop dead of exhaustion. Everyone
noticed my struggles and no one would pass
me the soccer ball. And no matter how far I
could hit a baseball, I couldn’t get past second
base. My body wouldn’t allow it.
My high school had a 2400-metre run
once a month so students could show off their
fitness to their teacher. Fuck. The first person
would finish in eight minutes. My average
throughout high school was 40 minutes.
Was I embarrassed? You bet, but people
weren’t expecting anything different from
me. Think about it—how could someone
that large run for a long distance without
lagging behind? I ended up dreading going
to my favourite class and it made high school
almost impossible to deal with.
When it came to the end of high school,
I was labelled a fat, insecure redhead with
seemingly no chance of a fair life without the
excess pounds.
As you might have guessed, I didn’t have
a date to the school prom. I did ask one girl

Tips for shedding those extra pounds

Here are a few helpful tips for losing weight that I’ve discovered along the way.
Music
Music was the key to my success
and wanting to go out to exercise.
Bands like Muse, Linkin Park, Cold-
play, and Radiohead kept me going
and rose my confidence while exer-
cising. Music is also important for the
gym. When you put in your ear-buds
and turn up the music, it puts you
into your own little world. You forget
about everything and everyone. It’s
just you and the beats.
A program you enjoy
Finding a form of exercise you enjoy
is essential for successful weight
loss. For me, it was hiking. When
you find the right type of exercise,
there’s no stopping you. The same
goes for food. I’ve discovered a love
for healthy foods; bananas, oranges,
dried apricots, and raisins, to name a
few. If I don’t feel like fruit, I’ll have a
piece of 12-grain bread with a small
amount of peanut butter and a thin
slice of cheese on top. It’s a great
mixture of complex carbohydrates
and protein.
Old pictures and video
This is a great motivator. What I did
halfway through my weight-loss
program was print up a few pictures
when I was at my heaviest. I put the
pictures all around my room so I
would see them. I would tape one to
my door, on top of my alarm clock,
beside my desk . . . It served as a
reminder to me; if I decided to stop
exercising and eating well, I would
end up looking like the pictures.
Injuries
What I found out the hard way was
there’s a very fine line between
pushing yourself and pushing your-
self too hard. There’s no better killer
of a diet and exercise program than
an injury. Work hard and make sure
you end up in a sweat, but don’t go
as far as feeling dizzy or nauseous.
It never ends well.

14 discover student life

out (via e-mail, of course), and she ended this behaviour wasn’t normal. But for me, it late, timbits, and candy. Any food with more
up making the excuse she was going to be was. my mind began to turn on me. than 100 calories in a bite would be digesting
in seattle that day. i ended up going with my then my friend came to visit me from in my stomach in a matter of seconds.
parents (i was so cool) and only stayed for his own trip in england. it was during this in a year and a half i strengthened the
the free food. visit when he realized something was wrong main weapon of my depression—my weight.
When the dancing started, i booked it out with me. Anytime i would feel a little good about my-
of there faster than a fat kid on a smartie. While he was entertaining my friends self, my inner voice would show up and take
there was no way i was going to embarrass in the kitchen, i was sulking in the comfort me down. it would remind me i was wearing
myself on the dance floor; i’d rather go home of the dark in my room. in the pitch black, i size 54 shorts. this was the way i was and it
and have some Ben and Jerry’s. couldn’t see where i was and what i looked would never change, i thought.
And that was the end of high school. no like. i was alone with my negative thoughts. One of the later stages of my depression
more judging the fat kid, no more 40-minute i had a serious case of clinical depression involved me having extreme mood swings.
runs, and no more embarrassing moments and needed help. One minute i would be happy and on top of
with friends at sports events. the world, the next i would be bombarded by a
i knew i couldn’t go straight to univer- dark cloud with nothing to look forward to.
sity; i needed a break from the education it was during one of these episodes where
system. i decided to sign up for a trip to
work abroad.
I took away the i began having a discussion with myself. i
was sick of feeling sorry for myself. i was
i was assigned to work in an American
international school in Genoa, italy. i was
power the sick of being fat.
so i gave myself an ultimatum—keep
thrown together with five others my age from
all around Bc who were handpicked for this depression had eating and living the way i was and end up
in the morgue after a fatal heart attack, or
trip. it was the first year the program was start working hard to shed the pounds and
working in italy, so we all felt special and
unique. this would be great, i thought. i’d be
over me by see what the rest of my years would be like
as a healthy person.
going to a country where no one would know
me, and the only person i knew in europe lived
destroying its i knew i didn’t want to die a fat, depressed
20-year-old who never gave himself a chance.
in england. this would be my chance to fix
things and become a better, mature person. i foundation. it was time to change for good.
i set a date to start my own diet and
was supposed to be there for 11 months. But exercise program. i immediately cut out all
i didn’t last nearly that long. the junk food and started eating healthy. it
Genoa itself was a beautiful place to was difficult, and my body began craving the
live; palm trees, the calming waves of the i flew home early in december after being calorie-heavy foods i was so accustomed to.
mediterranean, and the food are things i still in italy for only three months and began my But the change of food was nothing compared
crave to this day. long road to recovery. it was during this time to the exercise. exercise hurt.
it was the middle of October when i felt that the weight really started to pile on. the i started walking on a trail by my house
something inside me start to change. i was feeling i had during the worst months of my for 20 minutes every other day. i would be so
stressed from the work, becoming upset and depression was the feeling of being com- out of breath at the beginning, middle, and
irritated at very minor things, and my overall pletely and utterly numb. i couldn’t laugh, cry, end that i felt like if i fell over i wouldn’t be
mood took a serious turn for the worse. be happy, or show any emotion. i was numb able to get back up.
After a long day at work, i would stop by to everyone and everything around me. my lungs would hurt, my legs would burn,
the bakery, grab two pieces of cheese foccacia, eating food was the only comfort i had in and my stomach turned into a sea of nausea.
and head up to my apartment. i would shut life. i ate the foods that had the best taste so i had to remind myself every minute i was sick
my door and close the curtains and windows i could get some enjoyment out of something. of being my depression’s bitch. this needed
so it was pitch black. looking back at it now, those foods ended up being fast food, choco- to be done; i had to win.
during this excruciating work, i had a
Try and try again mental image of what i wanted to look like
when i was finished. i knew i had to push
This article would not be on another I tore a ligament in my let alone exercise. through the pain to accomplish that image. i
complete without mentioning foot. I would lose all interest by No exercise plus foccacia, gel- took it week by week and began shedding the
my failed attempts at losing the time I was better, and before ato, and pizza equals a fat Chris. pounds. eventually, the trail wasn’t enough
weight. I knew it I was memorizing the It took exactly one-and-a-half
dollar menu at McDonalds.
of a challenge for me; i was becoming fitter
The first time I really tried was months to gain back the weight
in Grade . I started running My best attempt came in the I’d worked so hard to lose. and faster.
around my neighbourhood for a summer after Grade 12. I had Chalk it up as another failed throughout my program i discovered i
few weeks and ended up losing received numerous tips from attempt. loved hiking, so i began climbing mt. doug.
1 pounds. my PE teacher and really went It’s important to understand i climbed it every week as much as i could.
I figured that was enough; I hard at losing weight during the that my latest attempt wasn’t i loved the challenge and that i could see
thought I could keep it off for a summer. my only one. I’ve had eight years how high i climbed when i reached the aerial
while. That “while” lasted one By the time I took off for a trip of failure to get to where I am at the top. Weeks turned into months and i
month. That’s how long it took to Italy, I had lost 0 pounds. I today.
me to gain it all back. was giddy with pride. continued to lose weight.
The important thing is to perse-
All other attempts to lose But, a few days into my trip, I vere, to never give up on what
in January of 2008 i did something i
weight ended prematurely. contracted a serious infection on you know you can do. I’m living never thought i would ever do. i joined a
On one try I pulled a hamstring; my big toes. I could barely walk, proof of this idea. CONT. >>>

Spring 2009 1
f e At ure
gym. i hated gyms because i always felt like
everyone was watching my sad attempts at
losing weight. But i had lost 50 pounds and
knew if i wanted to lose more the gym would
be the best place to do it. i worked on all the
machines my body would allow and dropped
the weight even faster.
After 115 climbs up mt. doug, i discovered
it wasn’t enough of a challenge, so i thought
bigger. i started climbing mt. finlayson.
to this day i climb “the fin” and love
being in and around nature. it’s come to the
point where i actually miss doing exercise if
i don’t do it. i get a high off of it.
i never thought i’d like exercising, but i
know if i’m down and feeling stressed i’ll go
for a hike or row a couple thousand meters at
the gym. it’s amazing how different you feel
after the endorphins do their thing.
i took away the power the depression
had over me by destroying its foundation. i
changed my life and the way i live. All it took
was a hunk of willpower and a lot of hard
16
work and dedication.
When all is said and done, i’ve dropped
120 pounds. i’ve gone from a size 54 waist
to a size 32. i can wear any kind of clothes i
want and have the freedom to play well and
hard at any sport.
While i’m only 21 years old and am by no
means out of the woods yet, i have the con-
fidence and support around me to continue
this lifestyle for the rest of my life. When i set
out to lose the weight, i wanted to be thin
for the sake of looking thin. i wanted to fit in
with everyone.
What i’ve come to realize is my image is
only a small portion of the good that came
out of this experience. the fact i can move
more freely is the most important thing to
me now.
i can get up off the floor with one hand.
i can do push-ups. i can do sit-ups. i can
jump like i’ve never jumped before! i’ve taken
control of my life and my body.
Game on.
Helpful tips
for keeping
in shape
Andy roBertS
cOntriButinG Writer
Looking to drop some extra pounds this
summer? In 2000, I went from 20 pounds to a
much leaner 160 pounds. Here’s a few tips I’d like
to share with you.
First, exercise is key. I made space in my
schedule to visit the gym six days a week, with
Sundays off. My average gym session was around
30–0 minutes, and I made each repetition count.
As my trainer told me, if you’re going to blitz
halfheartedly through a set of reps, you might
as well not bother.
Second, eat a balanced diet. I avoided fads,
like protein excesses and carb restrictions. Instead
I focused on the effects my favourite foods had
on me.
Soup became a staple, as it’s filling and low
in fat. Sandwiches were also a godsend; more
often than not, sandwich fillings tend to be pretty
healthy. Above all else, I didn’t want a diet designed
to help me lose weight—I wanted a balanced diet
I could enjoy for the rest of my life.
Third, drink plenty of water. Every hour, make
sure you try and have at least one small glass of
water, and always drink water after caffeine. If
you get hunger pains, drinking water is a good
idea as well; the body often confuses dehydra-
tion with hunger.
Next, try the “good day/bad day” technique.
Each week, assign yourself one “bad day” where
you can eat anything you like.
For example, on Monday you assign Sunday as
your bad day, so you have to be good for the whole
week. If you accidentally eat something bad on
Wednesday, that becomes your bad day, and you
must be good for the remainder of the week.
As a psychological mechanism, this teaches
you to control your cravings. By the time my
bad day arrived, I often forgot about the things
I was craving.
Also, be deliberate and build up slowly. I
gave myself 30 days to break my bad habits but,
generally, a habit can be shrugged off within just
a couple of weeks. If I fell off the wagon—the
moment where most people tend to give up—I
simply got right back on.
You’ll want to avoid scales like the plague.
Body weight fluctuates hourly, and there’s no
bigger de-motivator than an increase in poundage.
Instead, pick a size of clothing (within sensible
limits) you want to aim for.
Finally, encourage others. During the eight
months it took to shed my weight, I began to learn
more about diet, exercise, and habits, and was able
to help others with their battle of the flab.
discover student life
humour
Hand it to Joyce this Bloomsday
Shane Scott-Travis
Contributing Writer
E ach June, as the soft breath of summer
readies its warm embrace, the honeyed
words of James Joyce can be heard the world
over. For June 16th is Bloomsday, named
for Leopold Bloom, one of many characters
in Joyce’s playful and plucky masterpiece,
Ulysses.
Bloomsday may just be the most secretly
subversive fete of them all, with a punchline
so sublime it makes Joyce Ireland’s premier
prankster. His final jest is a real knee-slapper
and, at the very least, deserving of a big
“hand.”
day?
So why did Joyce pick this particular
When Joyce was a young lad, he and Nora
Barnacle (whom he would later marry) had
their first sexual encounter on June 16, 1904.
Joyce and Barnacle’s passionate escapades
and their erotic letters to each other are both
immortal and immoral.
And to a very Catholic and rather prud-
ish country such as Ireland, the less made
of this the better.
“[Barnacle] gave him a handjob. And,
for Joyce, the handjob is the ultimate sexual
experience,” says David Peacock, owner of
The James Joyce Bistro in Victoria.
Peacock is a passionate admirer of Joyce
and his establishment is an enamored shrine
to him. “I deeply love Joyce and am incredibly
moved by him,” he says. “I was in Dublin in
2004 for the centennial on Bloomsday, and
the celebrations were wonderful.”
Ulysses juts out, enormous, pulsing,
and unashamedly aroused as Joyce’s chef-
d’oeuvre. When it was finally published, many
thought it to be smut; after all, it was the first
novel to ever print the word “cunt.”
Also thought by many to be the first
relativistic novel, Ulysses stands proudly
on a shortlist of the twentieth century’s
greatest works.
And the ol’ handjob is certainly a motif
that reoccurs throughout Joyce’s work. But
don’t tell Ireland that! Bloomsday, for Ireland,
is a growth industry, great for tourism, but
better to leave the masturbation aspect
out of it.
Vancouver-based actress Erica Carrol
(Supernatural, The 4400) spent a year in
Dublin, retracing her Irish heritage. “Joyce
is well celebrated there, obviously. But I
found the Irish to be complex and confusing.
They can entertain you while simultaneously
tearing a sarcastic strip off you, without you
Spring 2009
Canadian actress Erica Carrol beside “The Prick
with a Stick” statue of James Joyce in Dublin,
Ireland.
Graphic: Shane Scott-Travis
even noticing,” says Carrol.
“In Dublin I noticed how puritanical
they still are,” says Carrol. “I’d be surprised
if they acknowledged the handjob. It’s like
acknowledging the fact that you won’t go
blind if you masturbate.”
For what it’s worth, Joyce underwent
many eye operations and eventually suc-
cumbed to blindness. Surely his fondness
for handjobs was merely coincidental?
Ulysses juts out,
enormous, pulsing,
and unashamedly
aroused as James
Joyce’s chef-
d’oeuvre
That such a stuffy and prudish country
can unknowingly celebrate annually the
legacy of a handjob only heightens the
humour and joyfulness that were so much
a part of Joyce.
“Joyce himself thought Ireland was
important because of him,” says Peacock.
Exactly 20 years after he’d finished Ulys-
ses, on June 16, 1924, it had still not found
a publisher. Joyce was distraught and sad-
dened. “He even questioned, ‘Will anyone
remember this date?’“ says Peacock with a
satisfied smirk.
This June 16 in Victoria you will find a lot
of Bloomsday events going down, but those
at The James Joyce Bistro will be amongst the
most bona fide. You can expect readings,
games, songs, Guinness Extra Stout, and,
of course, laughter. And though Peacock
and company won’t be encouraging any
handjobs, it’s part and parcel of the Joycean
mythos.
“Why not?” laughs Carrol. “Handjobs
for everyone! Throw them out like confetti
at a wedding!”
17
A rt s

Considering the cutting edge of c

ShAne Scott-trAviS
cOntriButinG Writer

O ut of the scarred and barren earth of

the dust Bowl of 1930s America came
a unique and decidedly different type of art
form—the comic book. depression-born and
distinctly American (though later Britain and
Japan would muscle in on the scene), comic
books have often been regarded as absurd
escapism, but they’ve been a part of our
social strata for close to a century.
many attest that comic books (often now
referred to as graphic novels) are socially
relevant artifacts. there’s a vibrant culture
built around them, and a fan base growing
stronger all the time.
“Well, the great artwork has always had
its appeal,” says mike rooth, a comic book
illustrator currently working for rubicon Pub-
lishing. Based out of Oakville, Ontario, rooth
creates graphic novels and mini-comics for
the educational market. He’s been collecting
comics since he was 10 years old.
“i guess i’m a big kid at heart, because i
still love comics, but more so these days for
the great storytelling,” says rooth.
Pia Guerra, co-creator of dc comics’
award-winning series Y: The Last Man, has
also held a fascination with comics since her
early childhood.
“i’ve been reading them since i was 10,”
enthuses Guerra. “my cousin left an issue of
PHO X-Men at our house and i was hooked.”
tO:
s HAn local comic book scribe and illustrator
e sc
Ott
-t Gareth Gaudin has been subverting the
rAv
is masses with his Magic Teeth Dailies since
1993. Gaudin also began collecting comics
as a youngster. “i bought my first comic in
October 1978; it was Godzilla #17 by Herb
farm.”
Gaudin speaks with great reverence of
the sensory experience of comic books.
“i love covers; they are the most import-
ant part of the book,” says Gaudin. “i also
like the old pulp paper they used to use. i
love the smell of them; they give me such a
great feeling.”
nostalgia certainly plays a part in what
makes comics so appealing to fans and cre-
ators, but comics have also moved with the
times and become far-reaching.
“i love what you can do with the medium,”
says Guerra. “storytelling is all about creat-
ing a reality; if that created reality can help
visualize a better actual reality, then it can
help change preset attitudes, misconceptions,
Gareth Gaudin at his local shop, Legends Comics (top); artwork by Mike Rooth (left) and Gareth and ignorance.”
Gaudin (right). Gaudin agrees, particularly when consid-

1 discover student life

f comics
ering comics outside of the mainstream. “With
underground comics there are no censors,”
says Gaudin. “it is just the artist directly relat-
ing to the audience, which doesn’t happen in
too many mediums.”
“With underground
comics there are
Gaudin, who also owns legends, one of
victoria’s finest comic book shops, notes these
movies benefit comic book sales. “When a
movie comes out like Batman or Spider-Man
there has never been a spike in sales like
you’d expect; but with Hellboy or Sin City—the
ones nobody knows about—they sell through
the roof!”
rooth feels a sense of childlike glee about
the recent glut of comic book film adaptations
hitting the box office.
“Personally, i think this is a great time to
wonder it’s restricted!”
Grins and guffaws aside, the ability of
comic books to entertain, educate, and subvert
aren’t just avant-garde.
they possess a unique communicative
character, blending words with pictures in
ways unable to be expressed in any other
art form.
And that alone makes them a valuable com-
modity worthy of celebration and praise.
“i honestly don’t know who or where i’d be
if i didn’t have comics in my life,” says rooth in

no censors; it is be alive!” roars rooth. “We’ve been battered

by a tsunami of comic book movies for nearly
a decade now, and it’s great to see.”
just the artist the recent blockbuster Watchmen has
many sharing in rooth’s justifiable joy. “Watch-
directly relating to men is in the collective unconscious,” says
Gaudin. “i can’t wait to see the imAX version;
the audience, dr. manhattan’s 15-foot blue penis . . . no
earnest. “i feel very privileged and fulfilled to
be able to play a part in making them.”
His love for comics is shared by millions
of enthusiasts, and the potentialities of the
medium are wondrous.
According to Guerra, “you can’t change
things for the better without imagining them
first.”

which doesn’t Best of the bunch: Comic book confidential

Maybe comic books can’t change
happen in too the entire world, but they can
at least change your world! For
Transmetropolitan by Warren
Ellis and Darick Robertson
Ellis and Robertson are the Vladi-
Promethea by Alan Moore and JH
Williams III
Your typical metaphysical

many mediums.” proof, look no further than the

GAreth GAUdin
lOcAl cOmic creAtOr
rooth feels comics can draw strength from
their appeal to a general audience.
“[comics] can cover limitless topics and
appeal to pretty well every social group, so
there’s a little something for everyone,” reflects
rooth. “the thrust of my work, for example,
tackles the very real and pressing problem
of illiteracy.”
Guerra’s biggest success to date, Y: The
Last Man, will soon be making the leap to
the silver screen, but while movies can be
an exciting medium, she doesn’t feel it’s an
absolute improvement over the comic book
experience.
“comics work in a very different system
from movies,” says Guerra. “film is great, but
even with all the special effects in the world
there are still limits to what you can do; limits
that comics don’t have.”
the recent rush of Hollywood films based
off of popular comics is a trend no one in the in-
dustry can ignore. “i don’t mind them myself,”
says Guerra. “some are very well done, some
not, but in the end it brings people to the book
and that’s a good thing for comics.”
books on this list. A word of cau-
tion—reading these books will
forever alter perceptions of the
medium. You’ve been warned!
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
by Alison Bechdel
Set in a funeral home, this sexy,
gothic memoir is funny, sad, and
unforgettable.
Louis Riel by Chester Brown
This biography of Riel and the
Métis Rebellion should be taught
in our public schools. A tour de
force from Brown—not to be
missed.
Criminal by Ed Brubaker and Sean
Phillips
A compendium of crime clichés
that somehow transcends the
genre.
mir and Estragon of the post-
cyberpunk milieu. If you don’t
psychedelic superhero book that
knocks down the fourth wall so
know what that means, you will completely you have to ask, was
soon enough. it ever really there?
Love and Rockets by Gilbert and All Star Superman by Grant Mor-
Jaime Hernandez rison and Frank Quitely
Maggie, Hopie, and the other Mainstream comics will probably
denizens of Palomar inhabit one never be as subversive, superla-
of the most realized comic book tive, or as well drawn as this
cosmologies ever conceived. award-winning mindfuck.
Super-F*ckers by James Kol- The Invisibles by Grant Morrison
chaka Morrison cares about comics so
These crass, crime-fighting cru- much, he’ll dissect them and
saders are sadistically singular elevate them to a form of art
and a devilish delight. so pure nothing can touch it. It
Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi doesn’t get better than this.
Maus by Art Spiegelman
This memoir brought Satrapi
worldwide acclaim for good rea- This WWII fable has the Nazis as
son. Her history lesson, recently cats, the Jews as mice, and show-
made into a film, is shattering and cases what only comic books can.
uplifting in equal measure. It even won a Pulitzer.
Brazilian Waxing Specialist
new client special $30
Krista at 250-661-1562
Iaso Bodyworks, downtown near Fort and Cook

Spring 2009 19
Food
Cheap eats for broke students
Bubby Rose’s is so good, it’s located
twice on Cook Street, one in the village
and one near Fort Street.
Jenna Sedmak
Contributing Writer
You’ve just paid your rent and money’s
tight. Groceries are already expensive, but
eating out in the city can be outrageously
priced for students. Never fear—some great
restaurants offer a wide variety of filling,
tasty, and healthy food at a low cost. Could
you ask for anything more? The following
eateries offer great bang for the buck, leaving
you wanting more. Even if you’re full.
Bubby Rose’s
Not just a bakery, a variety of foods are
available here that are quick, delicious, fresh,
and not too expensive. They offer an array
of sandwiches, lasagnas, pizza, quiches,
baked goods, and, of course, coffee and
tea. Vegetarian and wheat-free options are
available as well. Grab a slice of lasagna, a
fresh-baked cookie, and a cup of tea for about
10 bucks. And on Mondays they offer great
deals on their day-old, homemade bread.
Bubby Rose’s is so good, it’s located twice
on Cook Street, one in the village and one
near Fort Street.
20
Lotus Pond
A friend told me about this place and
called it delicious vegan junk food. If you’re
a fan of Asian cuisine, definitely check out
Lotus Pond. Although everything is vegan, a
variety of mock meat dishes will satisfy most
tastes (minus the MSG and excess grease).
Different combo options are available, as well
as a pay-by-weight buffet. Cheaper menu
items are available after 2 pm on weekdays.
Lotus Pond is located at 617 Johnson Street
(near Johnson and Broad).
Shiki Sushi
Here’s a place where students can afford
a great sushi meal. Shiki Sushi, located on
Fort near Blanshard, has daily lunch bento
box specials for under $7, as well as fairly
priced sushi rolls and other options. Every-
thing is super fresh, and the service is quick.
You can have a miso soup, garden salad, rice
with peanut sauce, and a roll of your choice
(with non-stop tea) for under $12.
Little Thai Place
Conveniently located near Camosun
College’s Lansdowne campus on Shelbourne
Street (they also have Cook Street and
Photo: Sarah Dart
Langford locations), Little Thai place offers
a delicious menu to suit vegans, vegetarians,
and meat eaters. The portions are large,
scrumptious, and inexpensive. A favourite
of mine, Pad Thai, is $12 for a traditional
and delicious, sweet and savoury meal. The
serving is big enough to share or to have
leftovers for another meal. Also, they have
lunch specials for under $10.
Hernandez
The real deal! Authentic Latin American
food, fresh as it comes. Hernandez is locally
owned and operated, and the food is made
from scratch with fresh (and sometimes
local) ingredients. The menu has lots of
variety and everything’s affordable. The staff
speaks Spanish and meals come served on
brown paper. The best dish is five tacos for
five dollars. Add a bowl of rice and a side
of hot sauce and you’ve got a full meal for
about eight bucks. Great for carnivores and
herbivores alike. You may not have encoun-
tered this hidden gem, as it’s tucked away
in a small mall on Yates Street right across
from the Odeon Theatre. Also, check out
their new second location in Fernwood at
the corner of Bay and Shakespeare.
discover student life
Look who’s eating too
Orale Taco Restaurant
1002 Johnson, 250–590–3370
Tacos, Quesadillas, Nachos, Pas-
tel de Tres Leches, Mexican Pop
Donald: Allow me to paint you a picture. A
young, would-be restaurant revolutionary
is toiling away in a taquiera somewhere in
Mexico. Dreaming of a life that allows simple
pleasures like getting amped on counting
flowers and bitching about the homeless, he
spirits away to Victoria. Whilst working his last
shift at the taquiera he manages to abscond
with its recipes as dreams of opening his own
restaurant flutter through his head. Alright, so
I’ve taken a few liberties with the Orale story,
but that’s basically the gist of it. Man is working
at taquiera in Mexico, man moves to Victoria
in hopes of replicating the menu in a small
restaurant on Johnson Street. In general, Orale
does a pretty good job of providing authentic
Mexican cuisine. If the nachos were any better
I’d probably be off falling in love with a revo-
lutionary somewhere while the roof of Orale
is engulfed in the flames of forbidden love (a
la the plotline of Like Water for Chocolate).
As far as my tastebuds can tell, these tasty
triangles are pretty much the pinnacle of the
tortilla chip world. Follow the nachos with a
bowl of Pastel de Tres Leches cake and you’ll
end up in a pretty jim-dandy mood. Unfortu-
nately, the tacos here aren’t nearly as good
as the nachos or dessert. The only taco filling
that truly wowed me was the Nopal—a mix of
cactus paddles, tomato, and sweet chili that
is easily one of the more unique food items
you’ll find in Victoria. That being said, I could
Spring 2009
easily get hooked on apple soda and nachos
and find myself starting to resemble Pancho
Villa after a few more Orale trips.
Guy: I like Mexican food about as much as I
like Chicano rap. I’ll occasionally rock my head
to a few seconds of “Insane in the Membrane”
and I’ll rarely hit up Pluto’s for all-you-can-
eat-tacos. There’s just something about the
Mexican culture that hasn’t allowed me to
embrace it as much as I embrace the Chinese
or the Japanese. As much as I’d like to attribute
this fact to racism, the hard reality is I’ve never
eaten at a Mexican buffet that I would ever
consider returning to. It’s also hard for me to
shell out the Benjamins for flour tortillas, hot
spice, refried beans, and ground meat. But
after visiting Orale my opinion has changed.
Alright, my theory on tacos was only solidified
Mexican
Tacos
Tamales
Beer




















8 typical Mexican taco llings
Try any 3 for just $5
low low student prices every day
1002 Johnson St.
(at Vancouver)
Fo rg et g ro u n d b e ef. . .we p u l l o u r m e at !
By Donald Kennedy AND GUY ALAIMO
further as they were tiny, mostly dry, and not
even close to being satisfying (except for the
corn tacos, they were excellent), but the que-
sadillas were filled with different combinations
of meat, and the cheese was fantastic. I don’t
know what kind of cheese Orale uses, but it
has left an indent in my memory as one of the
best cheese moments I have ever experienced.
They use that same cheese on the Nachos,
which were delectable, along with homemade
guacamole. And if you like to experiment
with soft drinks, Orale is like going for a walk
on Jupiter without any protection to shield
you from its intense atmospheric pressure.
I had strawberry soda along with something
that tasted like apple juice and Coke mixed
together. To cap it all off, I finished with the
mega-highlight of the meal—angel food cake
soaked and solidified in three different types
of milk. When I come back to Orale, it’s going
to be a nachos, out-of-this-world soda pops,
and milk dessert free-for-all. If Orale starts
playing Chicano rap, I might not be able to
handle myself.
Price: Tacos, three for $5 plus tax; Que-
sadillas, three for $5 plus tax; Nachos,
$5 plus tax.
Verdict: The milky cake and handcrafted
nachos at Orale may just capture the elu-
sive government worker/drug addict/pre-
teen private school market yet.
Hey, check out our Victoria buffet and burger
blogs at vicbuffet.com (Guy) and vicburgers.
blogspot.com (Donald).
Visit us today at
www.orale.ca
21
column

Giving it up By Kelly Marion

Caffeine
The challenge
Forego all forms of caffeine for two
weeks. This includes coffee, tea, pop, and
energy drinks.
The research
Research shows as little as one cup of
coffee per day can cause an addiction. Con-
sidering over 63 percent of adult Canadians
drink coffee on a daily basis, that makes for
a lot of addicts.
The reason
I am fully a caffeine addict. I love the
taste and I need my fix. It’s time to break
this dependency. Unfortunately, withdrawal
from caffeine causes physical symptoms and
a disruption in daily life so severe that it’s
considered a psychiatric disorder. As I begin
my challenge, I hope my symptoms will be
a little milder.

The trial
Day 1: I wake up, stretch my legs, and
head straight for the coffee pot before real-
izing, “Shit! No coffee allowed.” No worries;
I can do this. The day creeps by and I’m
tempted (a lot) to sneak in some caffeine,
but I restrain myself. The day ends a success!
Only 13 more to go.
Day 3: Ughhh. I can’t even get my lazy
sod of a butt out of bed. Just knowing what’s
scribbled in my agenda and having to do it
sans caffeine kills me. How do people find
the energy?
Day 5: I’m shockingly still caffeine-free.
My head fucking throbs and my mom just
called me a bitch, but I’m sticking to it.
Day 9: The sweet aroma of fresh coffee
brewing still gets to me, and that can of Coke
chilling in the fridge is calling my name, but
I’m nine days caffeine-free. Ain’t nothing
gonna break my stride. I’ve found a loophole
though—they make caffeine-free Coke! If you
can’t indulge your cravings, trick them!
Day 14: Two hours and 14 minutes to
go. That’s right, I’m counting down the min-
utes until I can order myself an Americano.
I spent the last 14 days in sloth mode and
I’ve had enough. I’m irritable enough as it Photo: Courtney Clarke
is, and I thought these bloody withdrawal
symptoms would pass, but to my despair,
they haven’t. The result not as effective as a crisp Full Throttle or a
steaming mug of Columbian.
Day 15: The sweet, brown liquid called Caffeine is a part of who I am. I need it...
coffee effortlessly slides down my throat and it needs me. Or so I’d like to think. A breath Next issue
a goofy grin spreads across my face. of fresh air can be invigorating, but it’s just See ya, iPod. I’m giving up music.

22 photo: Chris Shier discover student life

 Comic s

The Best of Binakaj by Adrian Binakaj www.eatmyguts.com

Domestic Deer

A Puzzling Orgy

Eraserhead

What Came First

Spring 2009 23
nexus returns to
our blue boxes
on Wednesday,
sept. 9 with a
new issue every
two weeks
For more info on Nexus,
or to volunteer for your
student newspaper, email
nexus@ nexusnewspaper.com
or call 250-370-3591

CAMOSUN’S STUDENT VOICE SINCE 1990

2 discover student life