The Special "Through the Looking Glass" Issue

In oUI large group, there are a lot of smart people.

People who are not fooled by appearances. People who
know when to have faith in their own judgement when
everybody around thinks differently. But there are also
already made judgement on. It is unfortunately true
. l people who have not settled issues that others have
a 5
that more often than not, people will come to believe
anything, if it is implied often enough. It is my belief
that a lot of people develop a warped sense of values
Honourary Editor
F
r me, and therefore, for at least a few others at
this school, the topic of engineering tradition is a
very large can of worms. I do not particularly
enjoy the smell of worms, but I do fccl that it is some-
what my right - my responsibility - to influence the
traditions of the engineering society, of which I am a
very proud member.
regarding alcohol at Waterloo, partly as the result of a
runaway engineering steam train that has been incor-
rectly been taken in under the "tradition" canopy.
I believe that any population has to take extreme care
in controlling who it makes into its heroes. When I think
of engineering traditions that have the potential to con-
fuse and mislead people, the ones involving alcohol are
leading the pack.
What worries me even more is that I think the extent
to which bad ideas are permitted to propagate through
our society is partly tl,e fault of certain people in charge
of organization: our leaders. The way in which our
engineering society promotes certain social events is, in
some ways,
extremely
" .. the general feeling is that the quickest drinkers
" to bram-
our heros. washing.
In the mind of at least one small person (me) at this
big school, a quick drinker is not someone to look up to.
In no way can the ability to drink ever help anyone. In
fact, I would even say tltat tl1e ability to drink is some-
thing any person is better off not having.
Having thought about the above ... The impressions I
am left with after participating in some (but not all)
engineering social events wornes me a little. Altl10ugh
nobody has stated it outright, I sense the general feeling
is that the quickest drinkers are our heroes. I feel that
this is both wrong and dangerous.
Any rep-
resentative of the people should have to show his or her
face in public on a regular basis. This is to give people
the opportunity to throw rotten fruit at their leader if
they feel so inclined. Or if necessary, storm the podiUIll,
wrap their leader in heavy linen, and bake him or her
inside the world's largest Christmas cake to reward him
or her for a job well done.
Every time a public figure appears, he or she is"out in
the open, up for judgement. People can see where the
power lies. The people are in controt as they should be.
Freedom of information is key in any democracy. With-
out it, things start to crumble very quickly.
I frown because I know that this freedom of infor-
mation is only half-present in the way business is
carried out in some engineering institutions. Certain
engineering events are never announced in my engi-
neering class without a failed "attempt" to keep
what is being announced a "secret".
I think that keeping things disguised on such a
large scale can be very dangerous. One (deliberate?)
result of all this pathetic secrecy is that nobody is ever
given the opportunity to publicly voice objection to
events that are advertised "in secret". After all, who
can oppose something that does not exist?
And IT SEEMS AS IF EVERYBODY SUPPOR1S
THESE ACTIVITlES, which I know is VERY FAR
FROM THE 1RUIH.
I strongly believe that every event should be
named, described, and presented as it really is. If this
were the case, people might be more inspired to
think about who and what they are supporting,
instead of being content to drift off with the rest of
their class, down a path they have not investigated.
Dishonesty grows like a cancer. A small deception
a small lie. And then a whole lot of little lies ...
a little "omission" on a budget record here and
there ... Soon big lies .. and who knows where we are
anymore. Next thing we know, we're all card-carrying
communists.
Where there are decisions to be made that affect large
groups of people, let us at least be allowed to see the
beast that threatens us. I think it is necessary to have a
good think about what we consider important, lest we
become just another herd of graduate engineering
sheep, hopelessly entangled in the barbed wire trap-
pings of complacency, slowly bleeding to death.
Hey!
The next deadline for
submissions to
the Iron Warrior is:

clJlillIID
Submit
Dammit!
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by tile academic C<)IIlmunily of die of W.ltl'loo. Views
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deems umllillble. 7)c Ir!II! Wqcnor Marta:ittc also rescms tile """ 10 edt! grIUl-
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1IIi.. Really.
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CPH 1321
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Cool fiction on page
Arts /I
In This Issue:
The Iron Warrior Magazine
Volume V Issue 2
June 12, 1995
Engineer/s Post Election Guide
Reaganomics will work. We have to be patient.
Closing the Loop 50 Years Later
Lest we forget.
My Life as a Squirrel """"""",8
And you thought Kafka was cool.
God Does Not Need my Prayers
It's reallv going in this time.
E, T. II,' This Time It/s Personal """" III
Just when you thought it was safe.
Misfits of Society
."".,"""""
Axel Takes on TV
We would like to start this article by conveying our
thanks for a joyous experience at the BOT. It was a
pleasure to join so many plummers in having a good
time and to see that the engineering spirit is quite alive
and well. It is our hope to continue some of the great
traditions of photo opportunities and fun, but please
remember: you may not touch THE TOOL until you
have received your ring at graduation.
On the topic of the BOT, we would like to address the
artide by Henry Murchland in the IRON WARRIOR. We
are glad to hear that Mr. Murchland believes that ''THE
TOOL is a wonderful mascot for engineering at
Waterloo" and is concemed for its security. However,
we are slightJy disappointed in his generalizations and
believe that some of his arguments are misguided. Mr.
Murchland writes about his concem of the BEARERS
being ''half in the bag." In reality, NONE of us had
consumed any alcoholic beverages prior to entering
POETS that evening. It is a rule, among the BEARERS,
that NO one may be intoxicated at an event such as this
one. (It should also be noted that the iridium-light
sensitive lenses of our sunglasses allow us to see 10
times more than conventional sunglasses, in dimly lit
areas.)
Mr. Murchland also expresses concem as we
"paraded right through the spirited crowd" and that some
plummers were "handled" as we advanced onto the new
patio (by the way, nice patio). It is undear as to what
Mr. Murchland is referring to by the term "handled", but
to our knowledge no plummer was "handled" the night of
the BOT. However, if you felt you were, please contact
the engineering society president, John Campbell and
tell him about the specifics of the incidence.
Mr. Murchland also "guesses that [embracing the
TOOL] is something reserved for people who have
received a RING". The tradition of a graduate tapping
herlhis iron ring on the tool, is as old as the tool itself.
Touching 1I1e TOOL has always been reserved for
graduating engineers (such as THE BEARERS) and
should be respected, as such.
Mr. Murchland also comments on past occurrences
and mentions cases where some individuals, who were
not members of the engineering society, were "astride
the TOOL." It is traditions like these which are best left in
the past. It is our hope that plummers enrolled at
Waterloo will focus on the more important traditions,
such as excellence in education and industry, engineer-
ing pride (not arrogance), and community aid, such as
food drives and the Bus Push.
Other issues conceming the security of the TOOL
were also raised. A comparison was drawn to the
University of Toronto Engineering Society and their
CENTRES OF CANADA, INC.
'double ring' of security, however it is important to note
that their mascot has been stolen a far greater number
of times then THE TOOL (approximately 10:1) and that
we do not find it necessary to carry Billy-sticks or create
a double ring of security, as the canon bearers do.
We are not trying to protect THE TOOL from Waterloo
Engineers, it is your mascot. With this said, we like to
think that we can walk through a crowd of "spirited"
plummers to reach the patio and enjoy the night air with
everyone else, without someone trying to steal THE
TOOL. Plus think if someone WOUld, not only would they
have to challenge THE BEARERS for it, but they would
also have to get through the "spirited crowdr' Everything
in life is "case specific', with specific parameters and in
this case we felt it was safe to go.
We wish to thank Mr. Murchland for expressing
his concems about THE TOOL and welcome
any other comments or concems. On that
topic, if they wish to write THE BEAR-
ERS or THE TOOL we will be
accepting letters through President
John Campbell . You can either e-
mail him at eng.prez@novice or give
him a hand written letter and we will do our
best to respond to you as soon as possible.
Any appropriate letters will be published in THE
IRON WARRIOR with our response under a new
section called ''TOOL TIME". We hope that through this
new section we can deal with any of your questions and
keep you up to date on what THE TOOL has been
doing. [We, the editors would like to take this opportunffy
to thank those individuals responsible for this letter. Not
only will they be deciding the content of this newspaper
without our consultation, they came up with as nifty a
name for it as 'tool time': Now if it had been up to me, I
might have named it 'tool stool': and just think of the
trouble that would have caused. Any further autocratic
presumptious orders from any secret society may be
delivered to us at the Iron Warrior office in CPH - ed. ps.
Newspapers do not print artides or letters second hand.
We are extremely liable. But thanks for thinkjng of us.]
In dosing, John Campbell has been mentioning, that
we are looking for someone to come up with an
engineering logo which incorporates a graphic of the
TOOL. As an added bonus, the winning plummer will
be given a photo opportunity with THE TOOL and THE
BEARERS (no, you will still NOT be allowed to touch
THE TOOL). Good Luck and make sure you submit
your designs to John by June 30th.
LONG LIVE THE TooL!!!!!!!
MAIL BOX RENTAL
FACSIMILE SERVICE
170 University Ave. W.
Suite 12
Waterloo,Ont.
N2L3E9
Tel: (519) 746-0202
Fax: (519) 746-8590
I have been hanging around these engineering walls
since the fall of 94, but not as an engineering student. I
started attending Waterloo as a student in the Faculty of
Science, and even though I was in Science I spent more
time in POETS than anywhere else. Through out this time,
I became introduced with many people that showed a lot of
spirit and enthusiasm
in events organized by fellow engineers. It became at
this moment that I realized how lucky engineers at Waterloo
were to have so many activities available to them to
participate in.
At the beginning of this spring term, my transfer into the
Faculty of Engineering was approved and I became a
student of this faculty. Except for the fact that I would be in
school for a full year (12 months), I was glad to be a part
of what I enjoyed so much in my first eight months
here. It was not until the BOT pub in POETS that I
caught my first glimpse of the TOOL and the
Bearers. It was at this moment that I realized
that the TOOL is not an idol to be
worshipped, but a symbol of Waterloo
Engineering and its importance should be
upheld. It finally became clear (to me) that it
should not be just the Bearers responsibility to
protect the TOOL, but a responsibility of all
students in this Faculty to keep it safe. The fact the
TOOL comes out to many events, throughout the year,
shows that the TOOL is with us throughout our years of
study here at Waterloo, and not hidden in some dark comer
and only seen at the Iron Ring Stag.
So for everyone that discourages the presence of the
TOOL, please reconsider, because you don't realize how
valuable things like the TOOL are, until it is gone. I hope
that never happens, here at Waterloo, with the TOOL.
Mark Popik
CSME
1996 ASME NATIONAL STUDENT DESIGN
COMPETITION
Regional
1st Prize - $200, Trophy, + up to $1(0) travel allowance
to finals in Atlanta, Georgia
2nd Prize - $100 + plaque
3rd Prize - $50 + plaque
At the FInals
1st Prize - $3000 and $1(0) to student chapter
2nd Prize - $1(0) and $500 to student chapter
3rd Prize - $500 and $250 to student chapter
Many manufacturing processes involve the use of
hazardous liquids which require proper collection and
disposal after use. A company is interested in exploring
feasible concepts for transporting such material from a
factory collection point to a disposal collection point.
You: Design a system (mechanism) that will safely
transfer 8oz. water between two identical containers.
See Karine for rules and details- Many groups can
enter!!
1996 ASME Arthur L Williston Award Contest
This contest is open to all mechanical engineering stu-
dents and graduates. The contestant are asked to
address this year's topic, ''Environmental Quality: How
Clean is Oean?"
1st Prize is a certificate, bronze medal, $1000, and
expenses paid to the International Mechanical Engineer-
ingCongress. $200 will also be awarded to the chapter.
2nd Prize is $500 and a certificate.
3rd Prize is $250 and a certificate.
All authors of acceptable papers will receive a letter of
participation. (Looks good on a resume.) Paper (12
pages total) are to be postmarked February 15,1996.
SEE KARINE!DR MORE DErAIlS!
AN ENGINEER'S POST ELECTION GUIDE
(in case you never worked out what the parties stood for anyway).
Gordon Wilton Burrill
S
by the time this reaches your hands the election
will already have come and gone. You will proba-
ly be sick of the media bombardment concerning
the election so I have decided to write about what the
different parties have promised. What you don't like
builds character. In addition, you can now be an
informed citizen watching and checking whether or not
whoever wins does anything they said.
So this is the comerstone of our democracy put into
action, where the educated masses head to the poles to
have their voices resonate to the very centre of the
power structure. Or if you AREN'T on Prozac it is
where a simplistic view of the problems facing society
are used to judge which person we will put into office.
Leaving our sarcasm aside, and ignoring all the larger
questions of why Canadians aren't as interested in poli-
tics as our counterparts in Europe, let's continue.
WARNING:
I will shamelessly try and present a simplistic, biased
and probably only mildly accurate summary of the
political parties and their position on some of the issues
facing engineers and regular citizens without slide-
rules. Sony Family Coalition, I'm limited to 500 words.
By the way, yes I did write this before realizing that
the election would be over before anyone had a chance
to read it. So what, we all make misIakes. ....
EDUCATION:
The Liberals will implement a core program stress-
ing math, science and technology. Tuition fees increas-
es would be '1imited" and a new student-assistance
plan developed. In addition, part time study would be
made easier by making universities offer more evening
courses. I guess it looks a bit like what the federal liber-
als have also been proposing.
The Conservatives would also stress a core cunicu-
lum with standardized tests. Abolish Grade 13, but
there would be 5 exb'a days a year. Funding to colleges
and universities cut 400 million and fees partly deregu-
lated. A new student loan program to be created. Per-
haps the tax cuts he proposes will allow the alumni to
donate more and that way we won't realize that the 400
million was taken. Or maybe not.
The NDP have concentrated more on basic education
before university with destreaming and plans to get rid
of Grade 13.
ENVIRONMENT:
The Liberals would introduce mandatory velUcle
testing to get those damn mustangs that try and drag
my Tercel off the road. Big ugly plants with the phallic
symbols would be affected by updating air-pollution
regulations for industrial sources. Regions would not
have to look after their own garbage, maybe, depend-
ing on how much of a pain it is. Civils would work for
the Oean Water Agency and private -sector industries
to make sewage and water services more effective.
The Conservatives are saving paper by not writing
anything down that I could find.
The NDP would continue to force regions to look
after own garbage. No new nuclear plants. New pui<s
and other places for fuzzy animals and people sick of U
of W after exams.
EMPLOYMENT EQUITY:
With our little co-Op program employment equity
has become a reality for both men and Women that stu-
dents at non-co-op (0 schools are not exposed to as
directly. The Liberals have said that quotas would not
to be imposed. The Employment Equity law, howev-
er, would remain and they would try and reduce the
cost of implem ntation. They also have mentioned
improving access for foreign trained eJ.l1ployees, per-
haps as a result of the shortage of doctors in ruraI areas.
The Conservatives have gained pUblicity for saying
that the Employment Equity Act would go if they were
elected. TIley have also mentioned strengthening the
Human Rights Code to protect minorities.
TIle NOP has proposed no changes to the Employ-
ment Equity Act.
TIIETOOL:
The Liberals have been mute on the subject of the
Tool and the fact that it consumes some of the funding
of your Engineering Society dollars.
Due to Budget restraints the Conservatives have said
that the tool will have to start paying for itself through
advertising. BilIboaIds on the side is what is personally
recommended by Mike Harris.
In the spirit of co-operation during budget restraint,
the NDP proposes melting the tool with all the other
engineering mascots in the province (canons, etc. .. ) and
each school will then have a square block of the resul-
tant mix. No inequalities between schools that encour-
age aggression and conflict. Toolbearers would remain
in Older to move the block during engineering activities.
So stay informed, and I appreciate having the media
power from the advertising dollars of our sponsors to
write down and print thousands of copies of whatever
comes into my head. Go buy more stuff from them.
The Legal System: Beyond Its Time?
Stephen Kingsley-Jones

legal system has no connection to justice,

morality or logic This maxim applies to all coun-
tries and all systems currently in existence. Given
the above truth the question presents itself; what is law
and why does it maintain the pretense of justice?
To clear the air a bit, there are many kinds of law:
Common Law, Criminal Law, Tax Law, etc The funda-
mental principle is the 5an1e for all of thenl. All laws are
based upon the historical and existing culture of a soci-
ety and have no basis upon justice, morality or logic. A
few examples to start
1) TIle legal definition of marriage from the Olristian
concept of one father & one mother (though it is far
older than Christianity). Marriage and its accou-
trements are determined by economic circumstances (ie.
culture) and can take many fom'lS. Harems (usually of
women) are a symptom of extreme wealth where as
one man and all his brothers marrying one woman is a
sign of extreme poverty. I suppose 1:1 ratios are some-
where in between.
2) Indecent exposure laws are a perfect example of
how the law reflects the culture. In some times and
some places, it was forbidden for a man to remove his
shirt in public. Over time uch things change depend-
ing upon what is culturally acceptable.
3) Freedom of religion comes not by declaration but
from having a multitude of religions, each powerful
enough to delimit the others. Examples of "one reli-
gion" legal systems are obvious in many Islanuc cul-
tures.
As is quite visible the law is not based on some over-
riding morality, justice or logic. Now to some, this may
be "old news" at least in some ways, but many people
(particularly lawyers) present a "belief' in the law as if it
were ordained by some deity. For their information it is
NOT. It is a mixture (and quite a confusing mixture) of
religious, logistical and idealistic concepts.
How can any country which claims it is "free" have
laws which prohibit one from dressing (or undressing)
as you choose? Or prohibit polygamous, polyandrous
or 5an1e-sex marriages? Or restrict the age of consensual
sex? All these are examples of where the culture's
acceptance of freedom stops. Irrelevant of the principle
involved.
TIlC idea lh.\t this of religious, tmdilionru,
and rurrent cultural beliefs be repL1C'C(i by a fundamen-
tal d claration by whi h nil futur laws should be
judged is not ncw, i ' . the "Constitution" dnd our h.\I"-
ter of rights. Unfortunately th y ill'(' only em
to the old system. You might call it ,)n uPb>Tcldc on the
old version, but is certainly not a n w syst en: . It still c."\r-
ries alllhe old baggage that this English, Jud(.'O'Chrisl-
ian, rnale ori nted society always had.
It has been suggested that a truly logiml, scientific sys-
tem of law could b created, from which we
drive all laws as a result of a logical principle.
nately, whilc it might provide a more sensible
we haven't the cullure for it. ideas of individual
sanctity, or freedom of: cxpre sion, dress, marriage,
COl'lSlImption, etc., arc still too foreign to most. Until
majority can recognize a few fundament"l concepts
fonn a basis for U-us system of "logicl1 law" we'll .
have to muddle through with the prejudice, preconcep-
tions & injustices. I supposc that, for now, I'll have
keep my Speedo on.
Closing the Loop 50 Years Later
(revisiting a WWII concentration camp)
E
spring, 50 years after I had last seen the place,
I returned to the concentration camp in which I
had spent five years of my life during World War
n.
The camp in question is called Sachsenhausen. It is
located in the former East Germany, 35 kilometres
north of Berlin. I visited there April 22-24, remi.niscing,
attending ceremonial occasions tha t
marked the 50th anniversary of the
liberation of the camp, and sharing
memories with approximately 1,700
former prisoners who, like me, were
also there as guests of the govern-
ment of the Federal State of Branden-
burg.
Since former prisoners' families
were also invited the total number of
guests was around 4,500 ... about
2,000 family members came too.
Many German citizens attended the
ceremonies, so in all there were more
than 20,(0) on hand.
To this end, I was a little regretful that more of Sach-
senhausen has not been preserved, as a testament to his-
tory. Some of the most significant parts of the camp as
we knew it, including the crematoria and other execu-
tion sites have been partly replaced by memorials that
unfortunately do not begin to convey the significance of
the tragic events there. Still, some of the gallows where
I had witnessed hangings during those unhappy years,
are still to be seen, and some installations for quite
indicating that true world peace is not yet a reality.
In the concentration camps it had been important to
try to struggle against tyranny, even though the strug-
gle was one sided. Any effort we might be able to help
bring down the system was important, even though the
ultimate victory was still only a partial one. Still, it was
gratifying to hear a minister form the federal govern-
ment in Bonn admit, during one of the speeches, to the
"catastrophe" of Nazism.
From my experience, I can say that
what lead to this catastrophe was, to a
dlQ) phi oonsiderable extent, the concept that

k ... r '"" ._ today we have come to call "political
\v .... ___ '- correctness." I refer to the ability of
the people of Germany at that time to
accept whatever decisions their gov-
ernment made, without challenge.
, Thus to speak critically of the Hitler
government, of those days, was to
have no class, or status. There was
tremendous pressure to perform. The
political correctness, combined with a
strong sense of duty and obedience,
led to the disaster.
Those who did object were, by and
large isolated, though one of my early
experiences in the camp was of a
young girl who came up to the ditch
in which I was working (we were
digging a sewer system for the city of
Oranienburg) and gave us some
apples. We were so hungry at that
time we were barely able to stay alive.
In my case, I was joined on the trip
by my two sons - one alone since his
wife could not come, the other with
his fiance. My wife could not bring
herself to go, not wishing to experi-
ence the emotional turmoil of having
to relive those terrible days again,
after all these years. I certainly under-
stand her refusal but once there, I per-
sonally found the experience to be a
very moving one. It stirred up many
memories.
I was particularly pleased my sons
agreed to go because for the first time,
they began to understand what it had
meant to be a prisoner in the camp ...
the hen we went through during
those five wartime years. But we
emerged scarred but not broken -
we did not depart from our princi-
ples; we were fighters to the end.
D c=J 0 OGa nffD 8- rLr Irrn n=n 0 \
/r.1 . I . D[l,c;] CJ L-=:J L-=:.Jc::J \)
CJ @ uc:::J . " .'? 1 /I r If 0
She was a very small girl and I
tried, during my visit to contact her
through the local newspaper. I was
not successful but it would have been
nice to express our gratefulness to her
for her brave act.
CJ::D OGs 0 0""
0 c=J . lCJ_}
I was interested to learn that
despite our experiences there, the
concentration camp in Sachsen-
hausen had been permitted to contin-
ue after the war. Thus at one point,
between the end of World War n and
the early '50s, 60,(0) Germans contin-
ued to be imprisoned in Sachsen-
hausen. Some of them were former
Nazis, it is true. But others weren't;
they were imprisoned simply because
they were anti-communists. the
records show that of this number,
12,000 died. This is a rather small
number compared to the more than
100,(0) registered prisoners (and over
U 0 /' I fI' r', I. .. " \ \
q SS Officers' villas \: .
-=--) \ '\
_ \ \jl
r=1. - -- J 8
- J c=:-J -- ,', . ,.-\
... _ -I L.-l
','
. . .' .t, '. f ., ' I II f i . .. ! . '.' . i .
meals, and so forth - and ammged " 'I. '.' '. " " .: .', ' .. :',':, 0; 0': 0 [-J rjJ" r " '[
the ceremonial activities. Former --!.... ......... i...
Brandenburg paid all our expenses
- airfare, hotel accommodation,
prisoners from Canada, United States,
from many countries in Europe
including former iron curtain coun-
tries (Poland, Ukraine, Russia) attend-
ed.! was rather surprised that so
many were still able to make the trip,
when one considers how many failed
Ii Sachsenhausen had been engineered
deliberately, as a system for killing people."
to survived the camp in the first place, how poorly we
fared while we were there, and how many years have
since passed.
Staging the event was clearly a gesture of atonement
on the part of the German government. It must be said
that a number of very constructive things happened
during the occasion. This was because of the approach
organizers clearly took - that while the world must
never forget the horror of the camps, so that they
should be "places of memory" for all time - nothing
similar should ever be pennitted to happen again.
sophisticated killing. Certainly, there is enough to indi-
cate that the camp was deliberately designed as a set-
ting for mass mW"CIers.
The other former prisoners shared their experiences
of fIfty years ago and in general, we felt great warmth
for each other and joy in seeing how many of us were
still alive. We shared our happiness that the old Nazi
system had now been gone for so many years. Yet I
sensed a good deal of ooncem too over the present situ-
ation in the world. We had all been getting the news
reports from Bosnia, Rwanda and other trouble spots
100,000 non-registered) who died in
Sachsenhausen alone during the war years. Still, the
end of the war did not mean all the killing stopped.
I recall very clearly that during the very last days of
the war the Gestapo decided that Sachsenhau.sen's pris-
oners, and those in the nearby Ravensbrueck camp for
women, must be moved to the port city of Luebeck,
where they were to be drowned in merchant ships. We
were herded out of the camps to walk northwest, in
what truly became a "march of death." About 60,(0)
prisoners started the march; within ten days 6,000 of
them had died or been killed. We were weak to start
The Sandford Fleming Foundation
4306 Carl Pollock Hall, Uni.versity of Waterloo
Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1
Waterloo Campus Actiyities
(519) 888-4008
Thirteen silver medals were given to students from across the eight branches of engineering, at the May 1994 Convocation.

f4cat{emic ~ c e e n c e Co-Operative Proficiency
Terrence Koehler, Cfzemica[ 'Engineering
Timothy Lawson, Civil'EntJineering
De-Wei Yin, cfiemica'Engineering
Craig White, Computer 'Engineering
Jullien Ollivier, 'Eiectrica 'Engineering
Jeffrey Germaine, 9tfecfia.nicaf'Engineering
Elise Fear, Systems flJesign 'Engineering
Jane Alcott, yeofogicaf 'Engineering
Stanley Ma, :Management Sciences Option
Brian Wickenheiser, Civil 'Engineering
David Hansquine, Computer 'Engineering
Michael White, lJv{ecfwnfcal 'Engineering
Jason Alleman, Systems 'Design 'Engineering
with and we had to go without food for days. Anyone
who fell behind was shot. There were lots of shoot-
ings.
The atmosphere of revenge was gone. There was But in my view there ought to have been an ethical
I remember particularly the reactions of the Gennan
villagers as we marched past them along the road.
They simply didn't notice us! Of course, they were
surely afraid to do otherwise.
mourning. There was a strong resolve among every- component to professional education for the German
one I met that such a tragedy ought never be allowed engineers of the time that would have told them, back
to recur ... because one cannot build a future on destruc- at the start of the war or before, that to design such an
tive hate; instead, we must find ways to build bridges instnnnent was a misuse - a conuption - of their tal-
into the future. Certainly this is particularly appealing ents. Engineers need to concern themselves with
in an era of growing internationalism. moral issues, as do the members of all pro.fess.ions, and
This is why I have personally tried to do as much as as do all of us!
About halfway along the march we learned of the I could to foster relationships between students of my There needs to be an ethical constraint that becomes
plan to execute us all in Luebeck. So I decided to own university, Waterloo, and thnse in the University aa:eptedasthemajordesigncriterion.
escape. My friends organized a disturbance in the of Braunschweig, in Germany. I did this through orga- Summarizing my concentration camp experience I
yard behind a farmer's barn where we spent the night nizing the exchange programme for engineering stu- reach the conclusion that the most important societal
and, together with two friends, I slipped through the dents involving both UW and Braunschweig, which issues are strength of character and moral value sys-
yard fence and hid in a forest. Some other prisoners continues and is blooming at the present. My hope is terns, and that an education system that ignores these
followed us. Whether, had the war continued, we that these exchanges will encourage young people in leads to catastrophe. Thus the truth about concentra-
would have been caught and summarily executed I both countries to get to know each other, and to find tion camps must continue to be taught and learned. It
cannot say, but fortunately the war ended before they out how much we all have in common. is in that spirit that I am writing these U fragments of
caught us, and we were spared. Surely, we need to do more than this. We need to reports" of my experiences.
During my visit this spring I retravelied the "death foster the development of a sense of ethics, among Thinking back to my years in Sach.<;('11hausen, T reol-
march" route. This time, I noted, there Vl' I\(. W that at Lhl'
were signs all along the road indicat- tim or my impris
ing that it was the route along which " the most important societal issues are strength of OJlm nt, it w( uld
thousands of marchers had been shot 11 'vcr lit \I '0"( .S4.'<.:i
andalso,thankfully,signsthatindicate character and moral value systems, and that an education my mind that
the German people themselves and. " som day - 50
their government are saying "never system that tgnores these leads to catastrophe. years Jatl'r 1
again". I even found the barn in would bt' rcturtl-
which I had spent that last night. It is ing, and that I
still there. I stopped to talk to a man beside it. He said young professional people, that will make it impossi- would afterwards att mpt to report on my visit, as I
he had learned about our escape from his parents; he ble for them to take part in the kinds of things young now am doing. But it has happened! And what thQ
remembered them talking about us. engineers did during the Hitler era in Gennany. As a world must do now is try to make sure that indCt.xi, th
I found a great enjoyment in meeting and making young engineer myself at the time, I was readily able to phrase "never again" continues to be the inspiration of
friends with other former prisoners, from Poland, Rus- see that Sach.senhausen had been engineered deliber- citizens of all COWltries, for all time to com .
sia, Ukraine, even from Germany itself. Many of the ately, as a system for killing people. There can be no
people I met were Jewish survivors who are today liv- doubt that the engineers who designed the place knew
ing in New York, Chicago, Toronto, Montreal and exactly what it was going to be used for.
other North American cities and towns. They have One wonders then: What ought to have been
survived. or course there were also more than 1000 included in their educations that would have prevent-
Polish survivors. I saw a plaque at Sachsenhausen, in ed them from participating in such a monstrous
the underground walk to the execution place, in mem- scheme? Perhaps they had no choice because their
ory of a group of 33 Polish citizens who were executed characters were too weak to enable them to make the
there in the fall of 1940. At one point we all attended a proper decision - that it would be better to die than to
Jewish Kaddish ceremony for the dead. commit such an immoral act!
Bob Whitton in conversation with
Dr. Jerzy T. Pindera,
Professor Emeritus
Deptartment of Civil Engineering
My Life ... as a squirrel.
Gene Chae, 5 & m
other day, as r was standing outside
of the Math and Computers building
having my daily cigarette, an incident
a squirrel changed my life, in that it
latllrpn,"" me to the intricacies of human
nature while revealing to me the reason for
most, if not all, the world's problems.
Before this incident, I simply thought of
. as being very pitiful creatures; I had a
lA1nrV1r,n- theory that all squirrels lead very sad
and were thus suicidal. I came upon this
, .... after observing that squirrels when
rrn"",irl"'Streets, sit at the edge of the curb, wait
a car passes by and then proceed to
throw their pathetic little bodies in front of the
. I mean, either they're suicidal or really
stupid and nothing is that stupid (accept
people who ride their bike drunk, hit a
and break ... ahem).
Anyway, I was standing outside, minding
own business, when I noticed a squirrel
beside me on top of a garbage can
intently at something directly in front of it. Nor-
, I would not have noticed something as rommon
a squirrel, but what got me about this squirrel was
that it seemed so interested in something and gave its
undivided attention to it. This got me thinking, what
the hell could this damn little rodent be looking at? My
turned towards direction that the squirrel was fac-
ing, yet I didn't notice anything particularly interesting.
perplexed, I began a more intent examination of
surroundings and then it hit me - Squirrels' eyes are
the sides of their heads and that squirrel wasn't look-
ing in the direction that it was facing - it was looking
through the side of its head at me.
What stupid arrogance - I naturally assumed that
everyone (thing/ rodent/ ... whatever) is the same as me.
Sure I've heard it said many times that, "you can't truly
understand someone until you put yourself in his
shoes", and I actually thought that I was pretty good at
doing so, yet this incident was a reminder of peoples'
na tural instinct to assume
that everyone thinks in
the same way as them.
People, although they
may not realize it (or
choose not to realize it),
too often believe that their
way is the only way and
that if someone doesn't
act in a certain manner,
look the right way or
Come See The Stars
UW Observatory Staff
Cheryl Noll
Giseie Dagenais
Come out for some stellar sight seeing through the University of Waterloo
telescopes. W have a 12-inch telescope in the observatory on the roof of the
physics building, and various portable reflectors and refractors as welL See
Jupiter, Mars, the Moon, stars and more.
In general and weather permitting, the observatory is open to the public on
the first Wednesday of each month. During the winter months, tours begin at
about 7pm and during the summer, tours begin shortly after 9pm, or when it's
dark
Meet on the third floor of the physics building outside room 313.
For the Summer '95 term. the scheduled times are:
June7 - at 9:30 pm
July 5 - at approximately 9:30
August 2 - at approximately 9:00
Tours for individual groups can also be arranged in advance.
Check out our home page http://astro.uwaterloo.cafor last minute details, or
email usatobserve@astro.uwaterloo.ca
believe in the same things that they "should" believe in,
they must be wrong. Often, we don't even think of the
remote possibility that we may be wrong and that not
everyone is the same as us - or should they be. The
position of the squirrel's eyes is not 'wrong' in rompar-
OOn to that of a human, rather it is simply different. In
fact, they are probably better suited for what it needs
them for and squirrels probably would not function
too well with human-positioned eyes. If people kept a
more open mind, not being so quick to judge, and
actually accepted that not everyone should be a certain
way, many of the world's problems would be solved.
1his little incident uncovered a lot about who we are
as a race and the need for better understanding
amongst ourselves. After this incident, I have realized
the need not to see the world from a narrow perspec-
tive that so many people do and I no longer look at a
squirrel in quite the same way (it's a rather humbling
experience to have all your beliefs and values ques-
tioned by a rodent). Anyway, the next time you come
across a squirrel, or purposefully put one out of its mis-
ery with your brand new four-runner as part of some
sadistic (but fun) game, don't look and see another
stupid little animal; stop and look at the world through
a different perspective - through the eyes of a squirrel
King Rudolph Players
K
g Rudolph Players has been part of the Kitchener-Waterloo theatre since
April 1994. The company arose out of a need for self-employment. Its
oung founders realized that it was the most direct route for them to expe-
rience fully all the demands of the theatre profession, and more importantly, to
give them the freedom to shape their own involvement.
The inaugural production was John Guare's unusual comedy, the House ofBlue
Leaves, directed by Jennifer Epps and featuring a cast of 11. This play, a cross
between farce and serious social comment, was presented for two weeks in
August 1994 at the Waterloo Community Arts Centre, also known as the Button
Factory, and received favourable reviews by Robert Reid of the Kitchener-Water-
100 Record and by Rosemary Andeson of The Guelph Mercury. The company
was lucky enough to draw on a wide range of beginners, amateurs, and profer
sionals for cast and crew, including students and alumni from the University of
Waterloo and Wilfrid Laurier University.
King Rudolph Players supports and actively pursues a theatre of ideas. This
company wishes to explore the medium through relevant and challenging works.
All members are involved because of their love of the oaft and their belief in the
inunediacy of theatre as a fundamental, grass-roots power.
Anand Rajaram and Jennifer Epps are the artistic directors of the 1995 season.
The three productions for the summer of 1995 are: American Buffalo at the Water
Street Theatre by David Marnet, June 6-17, The Adding Machine by Elmer Rice,
July 11-15, and Cymbeline by William Shakespeare, Aug 10-20.
Mirage
Aili Maki
Jtnotlier cfesert,
Jtnotlier pac.ej
Jt aifferent moon{igfit
On myface,
'11ie seawina 6rings
Jt aream of rain:
'11iis Sana transformei
'To grassy prain.
'11ie sun sears iown
JlLna facfes tlie flowers.
:My 60ay acfies
'To feeC tfie showers.
'11ie crowis appear
'But 6ring no rain.
'11ie ary wina [ifts
'11ie santfs again.
The Stone Roses: What A Review
Marine rrermina{ 28 May
Stephanie and Aaron Christie
Chemvlcted
E
er once and a while, a band comes out of
now. here without warning, stops you in
our tracks and makes you reevaluate
everything. And The Stone Roses have d.one
it...1WICE. Their self-titled debut in 1989 rocked
the British charts and sent waves around the
globe. The appropriately named release "Second
Coming" has done it again.
It was not surprising after waiting six years for
a Stone Roses concert, to have to a wait anotl1er
few hours at Marine Tenninal 28. 90 minutes in
line outside ... 60 minutes crammed inside. After
such an exten ive sound check, one would
assume that all the problems would be reme-
died ... but then again ... maybe not.
The Roses opened with one of the favourites, ''1
Want To Be Adored', and the crowd immediate-
ly forgave the band for their tardiness. Soon
after, problems arose and lead vocalist Ian Brown
was evidently disturbed. Technical problems
with Brown's monitor caused him to bring
a tune to an abrupt stop for yet anotl1-
er sound check. In all honesty, we were
happy with the interruption, rather than hearing the
muffled version of a frustrated vocalist. It may not have
been the only option, but it certainly was the best one.
Brown's ego then shone through from that moment for-
ward. This should NOT have been a stuprise to Stone
Roses fans as the band is well known as "the cockiest,
self-fulfilling prophecy" in the music scene today.
Let's not forget that Ian Brown isn't the only member
of this foursome. The unexpected omission of the
drummer Rem sent waves of disbelief throughout the
audience. His replacement did not rise to the occasion
but did as well as could be expected. Bassist Mani
made up for Ian's lack of enthusiasm with a vibrant
stage presence and then there was guitarist John
1995
Squire.A show stopper with his smoky curl of psyche-
delic guitar riffs that made the rusty warehouse seem
like Carnegie Hall
Fans may have been disappointed with the lack of
"Fool's Gold" and "Sally Cinnamon", however,
shattering songs like "She Bangs The Drums"
and ''1 Am The Resurrection" definitely made up
for the other Famous tunes like "10
Story Love Song" were surprisingly met with a
crowd chanting each and every word. Also,
unexpectedly, the band sat down for an out-
standing acoustic set of ''Your Star Will Shine"
and "Good Times". Ian's vocal ability could by
no means be questioned after that exceptional
perfonnance. So, does this sound disappointing?
Definitely Perhaps there was a poorly cho-
sen venue, a lack of an encore and an emotion-
less, unresponsive lead vocalist; that can not be
ignored ... but for the die hard Stone Roses fans, it
was all worth the wait.
For those fans who were shocked and disap-
pointed with The Roses ... it must be understood
that the performance was an exact display of
everything they've ever represented. We must
remember that The Stone Roses' gained momen-
tum and paved the way for bands such as
RI.D.E., Charlatans, Blur and the now popular
Oasis. For those who missed the show, you missed yet
another exciting chapter in The Stone Roses mysterious
journey. And for those who made it...We'll see you all
again in another six years!
E.T. II: This Time It's Personal
by the Brothers Dum
E
was a beautiful summer evening in the Australian
outback. The aboriginal warnor reclined against a
calyptus tree, scratched absently, and gazed lazily
into the sky. Time seems to stop at that instant as day
fades to night, and the world turns into a mystical more
magical place. Peripherally, something caught the war-
rior's attention. He turned his head and saw what
seemed to be a shooting star. This, is a bad omen,
thought the warnor, an evil god is coming to earth in
his chariot of fire. Instinctively the warnor crouched
and prepared himself for battle. The shooting star grew
larger and larger, until it seemed to fill the entire sky
with its blazing glory. As brave as the warnor was this
fury of the gods was too terrifying for any man, even a
wanior such as he. He crouched in the bushes.
The star came closer and closer, growing in bril-
liance until the warnor had to avert his eyes. Suddenly
there was complete darkness, and by the light of the
moon he could see the silvery shining outline of a
round pod-shaped rock sitting not a hundred feet away
from him. Paralysed by fear, the man stayed crouched
behind the bushes not making a sound. Suddenly the
rock cracked open, and the shadowy outline of a
strange spindly creature was framed by a dull light
emanating from the depths of the inside of the rock.
The man could stand no more, most men would be
maddened by the visions he had withstood that night.
That fateful fearful night. The sky grew dim and
swirled around him as the warnor passed out with a
crash in the bushes. When next he opened them he saw
a weird squashy little guy with a head shaped like an
eggplant and a glowing red figure crouched over him
ET had come home.
Fade to present. ET is perched behind a giant podi-
um in front of the adulating gaze of millions of giant
mutated kangaroo faces.
"Too long have the humans held sway over this
world. They have raped. and pillaged the entire planet.
They have destroyed and enslaved all the other races
including my own. Oh the humans are diabolical
indeed. They drugged me and planted the seeds of my
races destruction within me. For many long years I
have lived with this addiction that I passed on to the
rest of my race. This maddening craving that fills the
entire core of my being, this desire overwhelms me
until I can stand it no more. I must have them, even
now I can resist the temptation no more."
The mob below him gave an adoring sigh as ET
shovelled handfuls of brightly coloured candy coated
chocolate Reese's Pieces into his mouth.
"And look! The humans even lied about this!
They do melt in your hands." Ef held his hands up for
the creatures to behold. The mob was l'6:l.ching a fever-
ish pitch.
'1t was to teach these humans that I created you,
my beloved Cl'6:l.tures, my Dracaroos. You are the mas-
ter race! You have been genetically enhanced in order
to punish these naked apes. I took the two greatest
species on earth, the blood sucking bat and the kanga-
roo and made them into you the DRACARcx)s'. "
At this point the giant screens that had laid dor-
mant behind him came to life and a stirring patriotic
music filled the giant hall. Images of savagely mutilat-
ed kangaroos killed only for the sport that they provid-
ed. The cries of the crowd grew louder and louder until
it drowned out even the stirring patriotic music.
ET. held up his hand and instantly an unholy
silence swept over the crowd. The winged dracaroo
warnors licked their fangs in anticipation. ow was
not the time for talk, it was the time for action. Unfortu-
nately E.T. was not all that great at understanding the
mood of the crowd so he just kept on talking.
"We will destroy tIle will power of the entire
human race. We will enslave them and make the entire
world into a massive factory for the utopian production
of Reese's Pieces. And you my faitllful followers will be
the gwps and filloters." The stupid but strong Draca-
roos did not now what these things were but assumed
that they must be good as their leader fully endorsed
them. Shouts of ascension rang out as the Dracaroos
nodded violently to each other.
"Now go forth and conquer, my children! Destroy
and enslave the evil S.o.B.'s."
And on that note, they arose in a giant cloud and
flew to the four comers of the globe. The war was over
in a matter of days. The humans were no contest for the
fury unleashed by these bastions of hell. The remaining
humans were gathered and put to work in giant Reese's
Pieces camps. The humans had
not surrendered completely,
there was an underground
movement, led by the brilliant
and virile Doctor James Burke.
Connecting the invention of the
Reese's Pieces to the evolution of
the peanut, he managed to
extract an enzyme that would
hasten the evolutionary process
and give consciousness to the
candy coated peanut butter
treats. These once defenceless
candies would now tower over
even the highest of skyscrapers,
run faster than a goat on acid,
bend Huck tl1ings very easily, and
recite Homer's lliyad i.n original
greek.
After a short period of dor-
mancy, the new improved
Reese's Pieces were hatched and
at work. Shortly after, the draca-
roos were completely obliterated
in horrible and discusting ways.
E.T. managed to survive by
dressing in drag, and hiding in a
trailer park in Alabama. TIlere
he sat drinking beer, eating
Reese's Pieces and lamenting his
lost once great empire, and
appeared on talk shows such as
Gera1do and Sally Jesse. James
Burke was automatically elected
world leader and obliterated disease, hunger, famine,
the common cold, and bad hair days. The Reese's
Pieces created a giant spacecraft from an
orange, two paperclips, and a swiss
knife CMacGuyver helped) and flew off to help
save the rest ofE. T.'s race.
Memory of Non-Life: A
Study of the Reality
Check
Prndtep ']I{pir
'l1ie man 7vaff(rd dowlI tlie runway
'To see
'But fittre d1d lie K..IWW
'11ra t fie
'Being callglit up in tli.;
'llftraviofet 'Dream
Jituf nothing hili liis sour feft
'To redeelll
Pennu lie nad done
'By'lJay X' _. from Z througli 1
J/ruf stiff Milld
Jie saw tne pilot fly witfwut a prane
Over and over ana over;
9\&ver un.der
Jfe feft fr is si{ent worM torn
JlI.sundr
his master up am! fie ceased to
rprice

Dr. StrangeApocalypse
(How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the End of the World)
8ellabarba STRESSED "60-61" Club
, a whole month without spending every
weekday on campus. I don't know how
much more of this I can take! By the time this
published, we'll probably be under a new govern-
I know I can't wait until whoever wins the elec-
to start keeping all their campaign promises, espe-
Iy the Conservative leader, Mike Harris. He
nYrII'Y'l""""" that if he breaks any of his promises, he will
. Am I the only person who sees the Catch-22
I don't know which of his promises he'll break
.... """, but I can guess what t he second one will be.
back to the Apocalypse ...
-Full House has been cancelled!!! You might
think that this i.s in fact a joyous occasion, a victory
evil, and no reason to fear the coming of the
__ ",nf)(">'Il\Jn<:P The problem is, they made enough
""""'IleJ:>1SOoes to last decades in syndication. Had the
. _I .,h,n,,, been nipped
in the bud after the pilot, we could have been
from further atrocities.
-The makers of Krazy Glue now have a product
,_ .... '-GU,l<:;u Krazy Glue Skin Guard, the purpose of
seems to be to protect the incompetent
themselves. Now, when some chowder
_.u"""u pours Krazy Glue all over their hands, face,
and any other exposed body parts, they will have
30 seconds in which to wash it off before every-
thing starts to stick to them. How are kids today
supposed to learn anything any more? Krazy
Glue Skin Guard, crayons that wash off walls
with a little soap and water, Barney; just what
kind of a .future are we preparing for the younger
generation?
-As I was wandering by one of the dozens of
coffee machines strategically located around my
office, I took the time to read one of t he coffee
pouches as I waited for the pot to finish brewing.
The back of the pouch had a blurb that read,
"Steps in Making Good Coffee." Here, I thought,
would be some little known secrets about the
finer points of making of a good cup of Java. 111c
steps were a follows: 1) Place filter in brew bas-
ket, 2) Empty coffee pouch in filter, 3) Slide basket into
place,4) Add water in lOp of machine. Somewhere, out
there, Juan Valdez just felt a Slabbing pain in his heart.
The pouch should have read, "If you don't know what
to do with this individual sized packet of coffee
grounds, then just call the Coffee Board, and we'll send
someone over to beat the crap out of you with a tack
hammer because you are too stupid to be allowed to
reproduce."
-Having a lot of time to kill during exams, I tumed to
early morning 1V, and its daily parade of White Trash,
to keep my mind off the courses I hadn't cracked books
for yet. On one call for the dregs of humanity, Sally
invited people who have friends who are pregnant and
having affairs to call in and get on the program. Just
how dense would a guy have to be to have an
affair with a pregnant woman. I can see him
down at the pub with his buddies: "Yeah, I met
this real honey of a woman, but I think she's got a bit
of a weight problem" Or, better still, "Guys, I think the
girl I'm dating might be married. Do you think I shoUld
ask her?"
-On the roof of El, there is a door that has a sign on it
reading "Authorized Personnel Only - No Entry." I can
only assume that the sign is there for those dim enough
to think that it's perfectly fine to be traipsing around on
the roof of the engineering complex to start with.
-A number of high school teachers in Toronto were
recently reprimanded for the role they played in help-
ing some teachers of vocational studies to "pass" their
OACs. It seems that the school board pays you more if
you have your OAC credits, so some teachers agree to
give their friends a free ride. I think I speak for all those
interested in higher education when I say that these
actions are reprehensible, they are a black mark on our
fine educational system, and that those teachers
i.nvolved should immediately be hired by the Depart-
ment of Civil Engineering to teach all 400 level courses
(at least until May, 1996).
-Two parishioners in a Pennsylvania church were
barred from the premi.ses and taken away by local
police officers. What could these two ladies have done
to deserve this? WelL after repeatedly being told not to
do so, they insisted on praying too loudly and disturb-
ing the pious slumber of the other church-geers. After
spending Sunday after Sunday being hauled to church
by my parents (who, in all fairness, were trying to
ensure that I didn't tum out a cynical, bitter individual),
I can only say that I wish I had thought of this 15 years
ago. If I thought praying too loudly would have gotten
me a free ride out of going to church, I would have been
the most religious kid you ever set eyes on. I'll have to
remember to pass on this advice to my Godson.
-Ex-president Bush has rejected. his honorary lifetime
membership to the National Rifle Association. It seems
that he was offended by a statement in a fund-raising
letter in which the NRA referred to the FBI as, " ... a
bunch of jack-booted thugs ... " Considering the large
number of well balanced, level headed and extremely
intelligent people who have memberships in the NRA,
I'm rather surprised that they would use such a tactic.
Seriously, though, can you believe a statement like that
so soon after the Oklahoma bombing? Talk about tar-
geting the most psychotic elements of our society to
help fund your organization.
-Tragedy struck in a Denver hospital last week when
a baby was bom with amnesia.
-A French company, in an effort to combat France's
runaway unemployment, has joined with a wine bottler
and started placing resumes on wine bottles. It's always
appeared to me that the selection process many
employers go through when deciding who to interview
mus t surely be based on heavy alcohol consmnp-
tion, so having CV's on wine bottles seems like a
I perfectly logical metl10d of cutting out the mid-
dleman; in this case, Co-Op. Of course, wine bot-
tles wouldn't be the most effective medium in this
country, but I think if we get in touch with Mol-
son or Segrarns, we'll be in business .
;:)
-A Time/CNN poll conducted in mid-May
came to the astounding conclusion that the aver-
age American would like to see taxes cut and the
deficit reduced, AT THE SAME TIME! Imagine
that! How much time, effort and money do you
figure was wasted to come up with thi.s startling
revelation? How much of a pus-brained lower
primate would you have to be to even think to
ask thi.s question? I guess a good follow-up ques-
tion would be, "Do you favour lower murder
rates, less drug trafficking, or both?"
-Some of the guys down at the office were fool-
ish enough to pick a significant number of
Nordique players for the office playoff pool.
When will people such as these realize the self-
evident truth that Canadiens fans have known
since 1972: the Nords ALWAYS choke when
things look good for them (see 1994 playoffs ver-
sus Montreal, hehehehehehehehe). As an aside,
the Nords no longer exist, and all Montreal fans
are breathing a sigh of relief that the focus of hock-
ey in Quebec can finally be redirected to where it
has always belonged, without any distractions
from the north.
-While visiting my sister a while back, I flipped
on the preview channel to see if anything interesting
was coming up. Like the preview channel here, the
screen is split between program 1i.stings and advertis-
ing. One of the ads that came on was a plea to encour-
age people to read more books. I've always considered
1V to be a useless medium for encouraging anyone
past their Sesame Street years to read. By the time some-
one has stationed themselves in front of the magic talk-
ing box to see if any of the 70 channels offered has any-
thing good on, thi.s person is too far gone to think about
reading.
-On May 26, the Casper movie opened. First of all,
when are they gonna make Speed Racer into a movie?
Second of all, on the day it opened, Casper was playing
on 4 screens across K-W (three at Fairway and one at
Waterloo Cinema) for a total of 8 shows daily, not
counting matinees. Can you say "overkill"? I've never
heard of a movie getting that kind of release. Leave it to
marketing companies to fully exploit the fact that mil-
lions of kids will be pestering their parents to go to see
this "classic."
-A maximum security prison in the US has been hav-
ing problems with prisoners who expose thernseIves to
female guards. The solution? Force them to wear pink
prison uniforms, thus exposing them to ridicule from
their peers. I think this is a pretty good idea, but it has
one minor flaw. it relies on prisoners to care whether or
not you've exposed yourself to a female guard lately. I
really can 't see someone in a maximum security prison .
talking to his buddies during their 20 minute exercise
period and saying, "Look at Jones over there wearing
the pink unifOIm. We may be rapists, murderers and
child molesters, but at least we draw the line at exp0s-
ing ourselves."
-You can now purchase a CD of music inspired by
The Lion King. Can you see the marketing process
here? 1) release popular movie. 2) release popular
movie soundtrack. 3) As soon as sales begjn to taper off,
offer another CD that has the words "The Lion King" in
the title so that people who bought the first one will
buy this one too. Note that '''The Making of The Lion
Cookie
Terry Stewart
%ere is meaning in a COO{(iei
In the choas of its shape,
In the taste of tfie cfr.ocoCate
Of the coo{(ie I just ate.
On!.y, I guess I can't remem6er
now tfie cookje had its taste,
On that caU'Decem6er morning'
Or the foofc.upon fier face
'Wfien I fQt.ew tfiat it was over'
that time had run its pace.
'But tfie thing that reafCy scares me
Is the pain I {(now I've caused
In tfie fieart 6eat of tfie person
(I1iat I tfiin{(tfiat I might fiave Cost.
'We fiatfn' t in common,
I remem6er p{ain and sure,
5tt the time we needed Covel
Our fiearts were dean and pure.
'N9w, I do not {(now fier thoughts
(I'm atftficted to her strength)
'But it seems that we are parting
(5fie toU me tfiis at fengtfi).
50 now I thin{(a6out it,
Of tfie times that we have fiad;
%inkjng ma{(es me see
%at I thin{( that we 60tti are g{atf
%at tfiere 's meaning in a coo{(iej
In trie cfr.oas of its shape,
In the taste of trie cfiocoCate
Of trie coo{(ie I just ate ...
King" fits nicely into this little fom1ula as "vell. Lion
King lunch boxes, bike bags, cereal, chocolate bars.
Where ,vi.ll it end? lion King Geri.tol?
I guess that's about it for this edition. 'There \"\-'as one
item I didn't mention because, when I saw it, I knew
that I had the exact d ate and time of the end of th
world, and I was a little afraid to share it \-'lith you.
What the helL you'll find out soon enough: 0 n the 30th
of June, 1995, the world as we know it will aumble to
dust immediately following the release of the Power
Rangers movie; a movie which will w1doubtedly be
dumped on by critics, parents and anyone who an
think above a 5th grade level, but which will nonethe-
less make almost as much as Jurassic Park Until then:
June 12 -Jim Nabors' (Gomer Pyle) Birthday June 13-
The Ford Folmdation launches a study to raise the cul-
turallevel of TV shows, 1951 June 14 - Mr Ed Premiers,
1951
June 15 -fun Belushi's Birthday, 1954
June 16 - The first baseball game is played, 1846
(August, 1994 - The last baseball game,...'<iS played)
June 17 - The musical "0h! Calcutta!" opens, using
fue naked lxxiy for the fIrst time as a stage costume,
1996
June21-CBSintroducesthe LP, 1948
June 22 - The day Disco officially died, lr;9
June 23 - The day Disco should have died, 1974
June 24 - "0 Canada" is perfonned for the first time
in public on St Jean Baptiste Day in Quebec Gty (ain't
irony grand?), 1880
Writlm flf/; Slm,l\Ji
Drmw By DrIWlkltdlo
I
INTERNATIONAL
OPPORTUNITIES
SURVEY
Canada Day
Amber Wallace
The Student Affairs Office is currently working on a three phase
project to improve the accessibility of information regarding
international opportunities for University of Waterloo students.
Studying, working, volunteering, courses, athletics or any other
program which takes students abroad defines an "international
opportunity" .
111e first, and now completed, phase involved researching the
international opportunities at UW. Within the next year, a detailed
list of all of theses opportunities will be available on UWinfo and at
the Career Resource Centre.
The second and third phases will detennine which international
opportunities students are interested in and the most effective way
to make this infonnation available to students. A survey targeting
three groups has been developed. They are: 1) Students who have
participated in an international opportunity; 2) Students who are
interested in international opportunities; 3) Students who are not
aware of international opportunities
Students can fill out these surveys over the next two weeks at
the Engineering Society office and the Turnkey Desk and on June
12 (10:30-12:30) and June 13 (2:304:30) on the second floor of new
Student Life Centre <beside the elevator).
Results of the survey will be published in the Imprint and the
Iron Warrior at the end of the semester.
If you have any questions or would like to receive a survey via
E-mail, contact Amber Wallace at a2wallac@artscourse.
"The GL4r- evil 1)r-
II Cress is
-(::0 out
fo ...
Eric Sutherland and Sarah van den
Enden
The annual tradition continues. Kitchener-
Waterloo Canada Day is happening once again
on the fields beside Colwnbia Lake. And once
again, the Engineering Society is giving their
biggest helping hand by organizing the Chil-
dren's Olympics.
This day is one of the largest community
events in south-western Ontario, with over
50,(0) people in attendance. It gives an opportu-
nity to the students of UW to reach out and give
thanks to the community for welcoming us into
their city and homes.
All manner of events are planned on the big
day; activities for children of all ages, a packed
concession stand, a stage featuring local perform-
ers, and the largest fireworks display aroW1d. To
run an event of this size requires a lot of dedicat-
ed individuals. We need more than 300 volun-
teers to help with the operations of Canada Day
from June 30th through July 2nd. These volun-
teers would be helping with set-up, take-<iown,
assisting with the children's olympics, stage help,
cooking and serving food, ambassadorship, and
.. G\ -rqlUi",l'j c.vi\
h ha.l\s-\orlll\ J""eJty t"e
Circus j.,io q
"ltMQt'\ -
Is
Q :l0oe{
or
ct l",td

security.
As a thank you to the many volunteers, a party
is held after the final cle3l1-UP session on July 1st
This party is of epic proportions. hl addition,
every volW1teer that igns up in advance will
receive a Canada Day t-shirt, to identify them for
the day, and to keep as a momento. Volunteers
will also get some food and drink throughout the
day, to take a break for a few minutes.
So, if you know that you're going to be in YV
aroW1d Canada Day, take some time out to give
a helping hand. It could be for 3 hours, or for 18.
Whatever time you can afford is time that is
needed.
For more information please contact Claire
Lewis or Trevor Baine in the Engineering Society
Office, or Eric Sutherland at
esutherland@jeeves.uwaterJoo.ca. You will be
contacted ASAP. Alternatively, go to the UW
Federation of Students or the Engineering Society
office and pick up a volunteer sign form; it has all
the information you need. Finally be sure to
attend the volunteers "training" session June 27th
at 4:30 in DC1350.
If.'s q ,ood
'i tUe -
ib q ,0,,0\ 1"'il'\:).
Misfits of Society
E
the last few years, the fast development of commu-
nication technologies have given us the opportunity
o become part of events as they occur. The media
has been responsible for taking us to the other side.
And thanks to them, we have become sterile. Sterile to
the facts hat the media exposed to us. But the big ques-
tion is, how far are they taking us? The media has
become a commercial estate that has affected our cul-
ture. Their main concern has become not to inform us
of "current affairs", but to get us involved in some of
others' personal affairs.
It is great that we have become more aware of our
surroundings, and have becOme involved in matters of
public concern. It is also great to know that it is our
choice to live enclosed in a box or to be pro-active in
social, global, and local endeavours.
On the other hand, it is just sad to know that we
spend our lives and social resources in events that
should not turn our eyes. For example, the over-
exposed face of a pale and depressed OJ has made the
American and International media go nuts spending
resources that could been spent in more relevant "cur-
rent affairs". This celebrity has caused more turbulence
in the air frequencies than the thousands of people bru-
tally murdered in Rwanda.
The same issue can be exposed in the Bernardo case.
Do we have the right to overpass the doors of privacy of
entire families that have fallen in disgrace? Do we have
the right to know how these families live? And more
importantly, does the media have the right to disrespect
the feeling and petitions of these hurting families? Is
justice just? The media has crossed the line. The line of
respect that as human beings we all deserve. But, we
have fallen in their trap. We have lost track of what's
really important and what's not. The media has exploit-
ed basic human emotions as cheap propaganda in
which the lowest common denominator of our society
has been trapped.
These are perfect examples of media surplus. The
superficial world that the media controls has created a
world market that does not care for the most affected. It
has become a perturber of the general public. This mar-
ket truly believes that the more shocked we are, the
more we will turn our dials and the more money we
will pay for their garbage. And it is just blowing the
minds of our communities away.
This is the chance of the younger generation to take
back the control of the media. To take back what
belongs to the community, and to give back what
everybody deserves, information, respect, and self-
esteem.
We have the right to empower and change a world of
dirty politics that makes everything go around money
and power. The sense of community has to govern
again The intolerable media's gossip machine will be
dissipated as we become more aware of our human
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graeme skinner
Well, midterms are here and I
think this could be the shortest
spew in the history of the IW,
with the exception of a dry heave
or two. You would think that I
would write long spews since I
tend to have verbal diarrhea usu-
ally. Anyway, this spring term
seems to be going by very fast,
3a honours dance midterms already here and 'soon
it will be the end of term and
unemployment. I once heard a great saying, "Don't let school stand in the
way of your education!" but that's another story.
I've been hearing from a couple of people that they haven't seen me around
this term and so people in my class are actually concerned for me because they
haven't 'heard' me in a while. Thank-you for your concern; I'm OK and NOT
seeking any medical help, well not any more than last year. This tenn is pretty
hectic for my class and its suppose to get worse after midterms; I'm not trying
to complain, but I am putting a little more effort into school (the darkness has
overcome me!).
Thanks to Beth Duncan for a great job during Eng-Week and to everyone
who ran and participated in events. For those of you who witnessed the
Dunk-Tank on the beautiful Thursday afternoon, I would like to thank big
Vlad in 18 Oasys for giving me the big bath.
Up coming events:
Canada's Wonderland - tickets go on sale Monday, June 5th for $24, the cost
of the bus and a days pass. Buses leave at 8:00am on June 23rd and we will be
back by 8:00pm (hopefully). A great excuse to miss class on a Friday.
Tal-Eng - At the Bomber on Thursday June 22 (yes, the day before CW).
Come out to see the great performances from your friends and family in engi-
neering.
Come one, come all to the Mid Term Pub is on June 16th at P.o.E. T S ..
There will be more information on other events as we move closer to the
dates, check your blotters and go be a knucklehead somewhere soon (recom-
mended destination - Rockwood COnseIVation Area just east of Guelph)!!
Guess What!
A selection of over 40
Computer Magazines
including Wired, Byte &
PC Magazine are now
available in the
University Bookstore.
Special Orders welcome.
HOOKSTORE&
UW SIIOP
Derek
Haukenfreres
dhaukenf@bg 1
x.5440
.... ~ . : ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hello!
New Stuff
This month I said that I would tell you about
some of the new stuff that is being done this semester.
Well, two areas of WEEF are being improved. The
Employer Matching Contribution is being organized,
and WEEF on the WWW is being implemented. By
the time you get this, you should be able to access the
WEEF WWW page like this: from the default home-
page, go to Student organi.zc'\tions, and then choose
Engineering Society and you should find tl1e WWW
site there. The constitution, mandate, the purchases
that have been made up till now, and other relevant
information should be available (hopefully!). Start up
Netscape and Check It Out! More news on this next
spew.
Rehmds and Partial Refunds
This semester, approximately 70% of us donated
to the WEEF nmd. Obviously, 30% of the engineering
student body requested refunds of their donation.
WEEF needs the support of the entire engineering
student body. 11lcJSe of us who did contribute should
Hello again everyone, I hope your
summer is going well. Have you ever
read Engineering Dimensions? We have
a few copies avaibale in the Orifice, so
come on by and pick one up.
CO GRA TUlATIOl S
I'd like to take this opportunity to say
John Campbell 4A Honours Dance congratulations to Elaine Thorne in the
Dean's Office whohas worked at the
University of Waterloo now for twenty-five years. It puts the five years that I've
spent here in perspective. So good luck with your years to come and a sincere
thank-you on behalf of the Engineering Society for all your help.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRmSM
I set up a new email address for anyone who has an ideas, suggestions or com-
ments. I encourage any thoughts you may have about things we do (in general) or
specific cases. I would also like to see thoughts about the Engineering Society mas-
cot, the TOOL. The address is eng.prez@novice. All messages will be forwarded to
my personal account. I investigated anonymous comments, but it is a University
policy not to have anonymous mail. However, it is the job of the President to hold
certain information in confidence, as I as a member of the Examinations and Promo-
tions Committee. So, if you wish to send a message, but you do not want your name
disclosed, please indicate tl1is in your message. At the end of this term, I 'will have
completed my term as President, and this account will be forwarded to Brian Vidler,
President of B Soc. This is something new, but the plan is to have this account pass
from President to President between terms. So please send me ail, I'd like to hear
from you.
ELECTIONS
We have a Chief Returning Officer, Ryan Chen-Wing (2B Mech), for the upcom-
ing Engineering Society election. Positions available are President, VP External, VP
FInance, VP Internal, and WEEF Director. Nominations will open the week of June
13. Nomination forms will be available in the Orifice and will be open for one week.
The third issue of the Iron Warrior will be available on July 4th, and elections will
mostly likely be held t11at day. So keep an eye out for a special election issue of the
Iron Warrior.
LOOK TO THE FUTURE
Corning up we have:
Tal-Eng June 22
Canada Day July 1
Joint Council July 9
feel proud t11at we are part of a program t11at is larger
than anyone of us, a program t11at will benefit us and
those who come after us many years (ad infinitum!)
into the future. Those who didnJ . .I ask now for your
support in the future. Your contribution to the
Endowment Fund is needed and missed. I would like
to see the percentage of people that contribute to
WEEF at 90+% to ensure that WEEF continues to
grow, and so that everyone who benefits (all of us!)
are part of the Endowment program. This program
will benefit us right now (it already has and continues
to .. ), and also in the future. When we leave Waterloo
and say t11at we are a graduate of UW, people will
only care if they know of the reputation of UW. Right
now, Waterloo is respected as one of the best engi-
neering chools in Canada and the world. WEEF
helps to ensure that Waterloo_s standing doesn_t tar-
nish with time. This is only possible with all of us
working together. Please remember this!
People not familiar with what WEEF is, and
what WEEF has done haVe asked me things like
'Where does the contribution go? What does it get
used for?" .. A complete desoiption of these kinds of
details is or will be available on-line for reference at
any time through the WWW page. Of course, (for
those of you that don_t know) the contribution goes
into an investment fund t11at is nul by the University
of Waterloo, and the interest is spent by the students,
for the students, to improve the academic quality of
undergraduate engineering. So far, for example,
WEEF has spent over $75,(XX) dollars on W A TST AR
alone! The other $3OO,(XX)+ t11at has been spent has
gone to lab equipment, teaching equipment, student
projects etc. Almost $4OO,(XX) spent on things t11at you
and your classmates (through your WEEF Class Rep)
have deemed most important to improving under-
graduate engineering.
I would like to think t11at everyone would take
pride in UW _s engineering program, and also in
WEEF, the one method available t11at lets you have a
monetary say in how things are improved around
here on an ongoing basis. Please put in a proposal for
W A TST AR, new equipment, a student project, or
anything else that you can think of t11at falls within
the mandate of WEEF.
Proposal Due Dates
Propooals are due on Thursday June 22, and you
can put them in the orifice, or under the WEEF office
door. Proposal forms are available outside of the
WEEF office, and also in the orifire.
If you have any questions or concerns, please con-
tact me at 888-4893 or
endowmenthelix.uwaterloo.ca.
Mark Waschkowski
Hey There!
Darrell O'Donnell
4A Honours Dance
Well, I received quite a few applications to
represent us at the ESSCO AGM (Engineer-
ing Student Societies Council of Ontario
Annual General Meeting - what a mouthful).
I selected 2 frosh and two 3rd year students
to go. Skinner and Casey are going to raise
some hell while Sarah and Nina try to keep
them in check. Rumour has it that some
Waterloo students may be running for
ESSCO executive positions, but how much
faith do we place in rumours anyway.
On the WWW home page front, we are up
and running. The URLishttp://csc1ub.uwa-
terloo.ca/dubs/engsoc/indexa.htm so load
up Netscape or some other browser and
come check us out. Mike Kresin and I mcxl.i-
fied the existing page, and added an 'A' Soc
section, from which you can access the Con-
stitution, the Resource Manual, the Iron War-
rior on-line edition, and information on a
load of other topics. The page is not finished,
but it is looking a hell of a lot better than it
did. We have induded direct email access to
induding a special account
set up for the prez to compile opinions on the
TOOL and related issues. If you want to
acx:ess it directly, just email eng.p:rez@novice.
From the 'A' Soc home page, go to the tool
section and click the email address. John-boy
swears confidentiality, so go ahead and say
what you want.
The Internal Relations Committee has
rome up with a survey to try and figure out
what the general student population wants
from EngSoc. Please try and fill one of the
surveys out, they are short and will provide
us with an idea of what you think Engineer-
ingSociety should do in the future.
ow that we have a ao (at press time, I
didn't know the nanle) the election looms on
the horizon. If you want to run for one of the
positions, come and talk to us. Different pe0-
ple seem to suit different tasks, so if you
aren't too sure what you want to run for,
please talk to one of us. The jobs are all
rewarding and you willleam a hell of a lot
from doing them.
I would like to clarify one thing regarding
the EngSoc meetings and whose invited. TIle
meetings are held for every student who
paid their $14 this term. If you paid the $14, I
want to invite you to the next meeting. If you
can't make the meeting, come out to Milk
and Cookies afterwards to meet some new
people. A lot of people think that EngSoc is a
clique, but it really isn't. I was a bit scared to
approach EngSoc back in lA but the people
in it really got me going on a buncli of stuff
and I haven't looked back since.
So, come on out to the next meeting and
get involved with EngSoc. I'll see you there.
Cheers,
Bull [deodonne@civil]
DON'T FORGET DAD
Father's Day Package Draw
NOON FRIDAY JUNE 16th
Come in for 'DetaiLs
Campus Shop
-----
Check out the Rest of our
University Fashions
Custom Orders for Your Group
Warm-up Jackets with Custom
Lettering.
Campus Shop - Another Federation of Students Service
Will Teron 4A Honours Dance
It's hard to believe that May i
gone and mid-tern1S are upon u .
Where is our summer going? We
have been trying to promote brevity
so here goes a quick spew!
THE BUDGET - By the time this
issue of the IW is published, the bud-
get will have been approved a hope)
for this term. A copy of which i
included below. As can be seen, we
are running a very tight budget and
therefore each directorship will be
held strictly to their amounts
approved. Please get all of your
expense form in ASAP so that we
can keep the accounting up to date.
REQUEST R)R FUNDS - A mun-
her of groups will have done their
pitch for funds at the EngSoc last
week. Their is $1000 available
term and I would imagine that all
it was distributed. I will publish
fundin.g decisions in the next copy
theIW.
C&O - Mary is doing a t",nt",,,tl(,
job in the C&O. Already it is
ning more efficiently and
better food than in the past. The

out very well. ll1a1lk you to all!
ELECTro s -The EngSoc elec-
tions are fast upon us. The ao has
been selected and more . .
will be made shortly. If you
any questions about any of the posi-
tions, please fell free to talk to any
the curr nt exec. From the in
' pressed already, it looks like
will actually have an lection
term. Congratulations, this
will nSltre the ongoing success
EngSoc in the future years.
Good luck and take care!
Will VPF
wgteron@::ivil.watstar.uwaterloo
Engineering Society "A" Summer 1995 Budget
Account Revenue Ex.penses
Student Fees$18. 760 $378
Academic $25
Arts $1,000
Athletics $400
$t,SOO
Capital Expenses $0
Charitie $500
Class Reps $0
Communications $0
Conferences $1,100
Course Critiques $0 $25
CRO $0 $100
Donations $0 $1,000
Enginewsletter $0 $480
Exchange $0 $25
Executive: Disc $0 $1.500
Executive: Pres $0 $100
Executive: VPF $() $IO()
Executive: VPl $() l(K)
Executive: VPX $() Ion
Grad, Comm. $0 $50
Iron Warrior $1,500 $.1,750
Novelties $6,OO() ",5,000
Off Tcnn $0 .25
Orifice: Office $0 $500
Orifice; Copies$2.500 $2,500 $0
Orifice: Salaries $0 $IO,(K)(I
P**5 $0 $500
Photography $150 $200
POETS $0 $I,()(X)
Public Relations $0 $50
Puhlicity $0 $25
Recycling $0 $150
SAC $0 $25
Semi Fomlal $2,5()() $2.750
Speaker $0 $1,400
Special Events $0 $250
Spirit $0 $150
TOOL $0 $500
TSN $0 $140
Watpubs $0 $)00
TOTAL
$36.760 $38,743
till
$18,382
($25)
($1,000)
($150)
$0
($1,000)
$0
($330)
($125)
$760
($25)
t$lOO)
($1.000)
($480)
($25)
($1,500)
($100)
($1 (0)
( 100)
($100)
($5(1)
( 250)
$1,000
($25)
($5001
($10,000)
($SOO)
($50)
($1,000)
($50)
($25)
($150)
($25)
( 250)
($1,400)
($250)
($150)
($500)
($140)
($100)
($1,983)
GRAPHIC
We offer complete

serVIces In
DESIGN
TYPESETIING
FINE PRINTING
& COPYING
AND
PHOTOGRAPHY
Our professional staff can help you
with all types of printing - from
business cards to four colour work.
Give us a call, or drop by, to discuss
your printing (ext. 5176),
design (ext. 3540), and
photographic (ext. 3253) needs.
Graphic Services
General Services Complex
,
Copy Centre
Locations
Graphics Express
South Campus Hall
SCH 126, ext. 5740; Fax (519) 746-2698
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 10:00 pm
Saturday: 10:00 am - 4:00 pm
Sunday: 12:00 noon - 4:00 pm
Dana Porter Library
LIB 218, ext. 2956; Fax (519) 746-3590
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 8:30 pm
Engineering
E2 2353, ext. 2334; Fax (519) 888-6197
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 4:30 pm
Davis Centre Library - - - - ' - ' - . . . . . . ; ; . . ~ ~ ~ .
DC 1501, ext. 3878; Fax (519) 746-3153
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 10:00 pm
Saturday: 1 :00 pm - 6:00 pm
Math Centre
MC 5182, ext. 2335; Fax (519) 746-6530
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 4:30 pm
Arts Centre
HH 370, ext. 2336; Fax (519) 884-8995
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 4:30 pn1
Environmental Studies Centre
ES2 277, ext. 3003; Fax (519) 746-6435
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 8:00 pm
Saturday and Sunday: 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Main Facility
General Services Complex
GSC, Area B, ext. 3451
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 4:30 pm