The Main Thread

The Main Thread
Handbook on sexuality and personal relationships among young people
The Main Thread

Handbook on sexuality and personal relationships among young people
Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme
Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu
Edited by: Anna-Karin Asp, Lafa Anna ChuChu Schindele, Lafa Translation: Sin Marlow, SprkCentrum AB Design: Ester Stockholm Advertising Agency Year of publication: 2004, Stockholm, Sweden LAFA
This information may be used freely when teaching young people about sex and personal relationships. To use this information for printing or in more wideranging continuation training for adults or at conferences and suchlike, please contact Lafa, the Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu.
Foreword 3
Foreword
Here it is at last The Main Thread in English! A book which can help teachers and youth leaders to answer all the questions on sexuality and personal relationships that might be asked by young people. This is a handbook that sheds light on many of the Hows: How should I go about this? How should I start off a good discussion? How do I get young people to realise that sexuality is a positive, pleasurable thing while also getting the message across about HIV, sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy? If you want to talk about HIV, you have to talk about sexuality. Learning ways of talking about sex is hardly ever part of basic teacher training. This is why special courses, seminars and support for adults are needed so that proper sexuality education can be given. Specific handbooks containing methods tried and tested by others and then evaluated are also required. The Main Thread is one of these.
The Main Thread includes lots of practical methods, tips and ideas to help you with your work on sex and personal relationships, and you can use these to initiate thoughtprovoking discussions on attitudes and values. It also includes a number of theory sections which aim to give you a greater insight into certain areas and to enhance your knowledge. The Main Thread is produced by governmental organisation Lafa, the Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme; a regional knowledge and method centre working in the field of health and sexuality. The Main Thread is just one Lafa initiative: other activities include courses, access to assistance and service in the form of libraries, a magazine, an information centre, a video bank and websites.
HIV has meant that more and more leaders and organisations in an ever increasing number of countries have realised just how vital it is for young people to receive education on sexuality and personal relationships, either at school or as part of other youth activities. A number of UN organisations including UNESCO, WHO and UNAIDS have compiled a list of factors important to good sexuality education. Here is a summary.
4 Foreword
This education should:

I I
Start before young people become sexually active (before the age of 15). Be a recurrent theme throughout the school years and adapted to suit the ages and personal situations of students. Be based on open communication on sexuality. Provide students with a basic factual knowledge of sexuality and how they can protect themselves against HIV, other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancy. Give students more of a sense of self-esteem so that they can make their own choices which will benefit their sexual and reproductive health.
I I
Students should:
I
Learn how to use condoms and other contraceptives and be made aware of where to find advice on and access to protection against infection and pregnancy. Practise ways of talking openly about sex with their partners and learn how to discuss measures leading to safer sex. In turn, this demands that sexuality education should counter stereotypical gender roles which make both boys and girls more vulnerable to the adverse consequences of their sexuality.
The teaching methods:

I
These must encourage students to take an active interest in the subject and be interactive. Role plays, group discussions and value clarification exercises are all good ways of influencing attitudes, standards and values regarding sexuality and practising communication skills. Sexuality education should be based on active student input into planning and implementation. It is important to ensure that this education is based on students own questions and thoughts and that it helps build their self-esteem.
Foreword 5
The methods referred to in The Main Thread have all been developed and evaluated in Sweden, a country where education on sexuality and personal relationships has been compulsory in schools since 1955. Of course, the content of this education has altered and developed since it was initiated. Today, it may be stated that most of the factors above, as listed by the various UN bodies, are included in the Swedish model for education on sexuality and personal relationships.
The Main Thread has been compiled for anyone wishing to work with sexuality education for young people aged 13 19. Copies are available at lower and upper secondary schools, at youth clinics in the county of Stockholm, and at many youth centres, churches and other organisations that discuss personal relationship issues with young people.
A survey on The Main Thread was carried out in 2001, and the results showed that 87 per cent of users regarded the handbook as having helped to develop sexuality education, 75 per cent had used one or more of the methods outlined in the book, and at least 35 per cent of respondents were using value clarification methods more than they used to. Authorities, organisations and individuals from all over the world not least from countries in Africa and Asia have been on study visits to Lafa; and as a result of this, together with our own project work in St Petersburg in Russia, we have noticed that many people need to learn how to talk to young people about sexuality in a focused and fun way. This was why we decided to translate the methods referred to in The Main Thread into English. The examples and methods cited are still taken in a Swedish context, but they can still provide examples of successful ways of promoting and sustaining work in the field of sexuality education. We hope that The Main Thread will inspire more people to have the courage to talk to young people about HIV and sexuality, and that this book will form an important part of your preventive work. Anna-Karin Asp
Director of Lafa, the Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme We would be delighted to hear from anyone using The MainThread. Please let us have your views, plus any of your own tips or ideas. Feel free to contact us at themainthread@lafa.nu
6 Contents
Contents
Foreword 1. Introduction
The most exciting thing of all 13 3
2. Planning
Planning work relating to sexuality and personal relationships Planning models: Theme week at Alby School a planning model Youth, health, love at Hovsj School an example Learning for Life at Rudbeck School Learning about Life at Tibble High School Sexuality and personal relationships Year 9 studies at Fittja School Henriksdal Youth Club Love Week Man in Focus KSF High School 29 31 33 34 36 38 40 19
3. Self-esteem
Self-esteem To love is to grow Methods: Feeling excluded Writing exercise Being seen through photography using photos and videos in groups of girls 51 49 50 45
4. Relationships
Infatuation, couples and sexuality 55
Contents 7
Methods: Write about someone you admire Advice columns Contact ads Talking about gender roles Discussions in small groups on friendship, sex and love Value clarification exercise gender roles Guys and girls ask one another questions Time for discussion at Vilunda Vocational College Group of guys at Brnnsgrden in Norrtlje Peepshow craft, art, interaction 59 60 62 63 64 67 69 70 71 72
5. Sexuality and contraceptives

A look at adolescent sexuality Contraceptives actually used are the best kind Methods: Sexuality deciding on what words to use Talking about gender roles and the use of condoms Using fiction in work on sexuality and personal relationships Making a condom poster Value clarification exercise on the use of condoms four-corner exercise Value clarification exercise on the use of condoms standing in a line Talking to young women about sexuality and personal relationships Talking to young men about sexuality and personal relationships Value clarification exercise pornography An overall view of people 90 91 98 103 104 89 83 85 87 88 77 80
8 Contents
Sexuality and society Creating a magazine about sexuality and personal relationships Words to use What if my mate working with homosexuality in schools Value clarification exercise homosexuality
107 109 111 113 118
6. Ethics
Ethics Methods: Ethical issues Value clarification exercise infidelity HIV-positive student at school two value clarification exercises Value clarification exercise YES or NO? Noticeboard 123 125 126 128 131 121
7. The downside of sexuality

HIV and other sexually transmitted infections from the perspective of sexuality and personal relationships Abortion Methods: Prejudices with regard to HIV Value clarification exercise HIV Value clarification exercise unwanted pregnancy Letterbox 139 141 142 143 135 137
8. Value clarification exercises

Working with self-confidence, attitudes and group development using value clarification exercises 147
Contents 9
Value clarification exercises: The Hot Seat Yes No Maybe Four-corner exercise Dilemma Standing in a Line Ranking exercise Listing exercise Unfinished sentences The public interview What to do when leading value clarification exercises 149 151 153 155 157 158 159 161 162
9. Texts for in-depth study

About homosexuality and bisexuality Groups of girls The importance of men as regards work on sexuality and personal relationships Working with sexuality and personal relationships among young people from ethnic minorities Freedom or oppression? Various views on pornography Sexual abuse 184 193 197 181 169 176
10. About Lafa

Methodology and knowledge centre Services offered by Lafa 203 203 205
Abbreviations
10 Contents
Introduction
Introduction 13
The most exciting thing of all

When I was nine years old and in my third year at primary school, we had a teacher called Margaret whod only just started teaching. We were her first class. This was a long time ago, before teaching about sexuality and personal relationships was made compulsory in Swedish schools. Margaret was a newlywed and madly in love with her husband. They lived in their own little palace on the outskirts of town. The love she felt, combined with the teaching skills shed just learnt, filled our little classroom every day with an energy and playfulness that made our schoolwork both pleasurable and appealing. One day, Margaret said she was going to tell us about how babies were made. Im not sure whether I knew anything about the subject. My mother had never told me anything about it, and Id never asked her anything. Sure, Id heard my mates talking about fucking and rubbers, but I thought rubbers had something to do with valve rubbers and I had no idea what that had to do with fucking! Margaret took a mental run up. She was emotional, her face flushed. She looked happy and told us something that opened up a completely new world for us. The whole thing was brilliantly timed, because we were at our most receptive at that age. We sat there, amazed. She drew simple, stylised pictures of the sex organs, so straightforward that we children could then copy them on paper, on the blackboard, on the walls of buildings. Now we knew what was what. Another piece of the great jigsaw puzzle of life had fallen into place. Of course I remember other lessons led by Miss Margaret, but this was the most exciting, the most radical. It was also the only real sexuality education I received in all my years at school. When I started at lower secondary school, none of the strict teachers there talked to us about sexuality. Everything we knew, we found out from our biology books. In our final year at high school, the female head of sports called all the girls together for a girly chat. We had high hopes for this, but all we talked about was intimate hygiene. She said we ought to change our knickers every day. Margaret had aroused my interest, and a couple of years later Elise Ottesen Jensen, the founder of the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education, came to the community centre in our little town to lecture on sexuality and contraceptives. My sister
14 Introduction
and I went along. The hall was full, and we realised straightaway that this was something big and that wed be able to benefit from what she was talking about with such enthusiasm. Both Margaret and Elise talked about sexuality from the point of view of reproduction. Margaret told us about how babies are made, while Elise Ottesen Jensen lectured on how to protect against unwanted pregnancy. That was all I got from the adult world. The rest I had to find out for myself, and each new piece of the puzzle was as exciting as the last. Reproductive health is one of three themes which can be used to structure the topic of sexuality from a public health perspective. The others are HIV/sexually transmitted infections and the more subjective topic of sexual wellbeing. It goes without saying that young people dont define sexuality in this way. They have other concerns: Am I good enough? Will anyone ever love me? Will I ever be the most important person in someone elses life? Nowadays, we know that teaching on sexuality and personal relationships in schools is very different. Teachers integrate sexuality and personal relationships into other subjects, and they work on the basis that sexuality is an opportunity, a positive force in the lives of young people. This teaching also aims to promote good health: students arent just given biological facts, they also have the opportunity to chat amongst themselves and reflect on issues relating to sexuality and identity. More and more schools are also realising that teaching on sexuality and personal relationships is an important way of creating good relationships between teachers and students. Of course, the same is also true for youth clubs, which work with issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships in an open, inspiring manner. I remember the few adults who dared to tell me the facts of life. And I know things are no different today. Young people will always remember the teachers and other adults who dared to talk with respect about the most exciting aspect of their lives sexuality. Take, for example, Ivar (23), who was interviewed in Insight, the Lafa magazine. He said that the teaching on sexuality and personal relationships that he received in
Introduction 15
Year 3 of high school was one of the best things that had ever happened to him at school. He said his life had been shaped by important adults; from his parents and nursery carers to his teachers at high school. Now he reckons he feels secure in his sexuality and is of the opinion that his sexuality forms the foundation for his entire view on society. The most exciting thing about sexuality is that it changes and is recreated by constant interaction between individuals, groups of people and society as a whole. Consequently, societys norms, values and preconceptions on sexuality and sexual acts change and are transformed over time. This is also what makes it meaningful to try to influence the ways in which people think with regard to sexuality and to influence these thoughts with regard to the use of condoms and views on homosexuality, for example. Well thought out teaching on sexuality and personal relationships can help young people to understand and interpret signals and values and to make necessary choices as regards their sexuality. All of us are faced with a number of unpredictable choices in our adult lives. To be able to handle these, we have to develop an inner compass made up of values, self-esteem and identity. This kind of inner compass will help us to differentiate between whats good and whats bad for us. Well thought out teaching on sexuality and personal relationships, along with adults whose own inner compasses are well developed, will allow us to work together to pave the way for young people to experience both excitement and continuity in their lives. With The Main Thread, almost anyone can be a Margaret, someone who young people will go on remembering for years after finishing school or giving up youth club.
Anna-Karin Asp
Director of Lafa, the Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme
16 Introduction
Planning
Planning 19
Planning work relating to sexuality and personal relationships

That was exactly what I wanted to know although I didnt know it at the time!
When I was thirteen and just starting my seventh year at school, I ended up in the same group for French as a girl called Sophie. She was exactly the kind of girl whod study French; at least in my imagination. She had wavy blonde hair that tumbled down to her shoulders, fantastic clothes and a self-assured, intelligent look in her eyes. She was just like a film star, worldly wise despite being a farmers daughter, one of the students who travelled in to school from five kilometres away and lived in a plain brick house. In my romantic dreams, I pictured myself cycling in the dark autumn evenings, cycling over the fields separating town and country, cycling to be at her side. Because Id realised that romance and love could be just like that. And she was just as devious as any film star. One day, we were both a bit slow leaving French. Everybody else had already gone to lunch and we were alone in the long corridor, making small talk with one another. Then suddenly she looked intensely at me. She held her books close to her chest and walked up to me. She smiled, coming so close to me that our shoulders touched just lightly, but she knew exactly what she was doing. Youre in love with me, arent you? she said. She smiled mischievously, not that I knew that was the precise word for it. I blushed. She moistened her index finger with her lips, then stroked her finger across my cheek. Thats cute, she said, still smiling. Not in a superior way, but with self-assurance and what Id now call crushing selfawarenesscrushing for me, at least! Then she winked, turned on her heel and left, and I realised shed never want me. One of my best friends got me to call round all the girls he liked, because I had the nerve to do that and was blessed with the gift of the gab. I was one who had to make sure we met up with them yes indeed, I did mean them, because they did tend to go round in pairs (practical!), which made things much easier. But hard work it wasnt.
20 Planning
I didnt make many calls: in fact, there were depressingly few of them. His self-confidence diminished with every spot that reared its ugly head on his face, eventually covering his cheeks, forehead and shoulders. Hed never been cool, and now he felt unattractive to boot. Or just plain ugly, as wed have put it when we were fourteen or fifteen. Nobody had said anything to him, I dont even think anybody thought that of him. It was just how he perceived himself. Id dared do that for others, but I didnt have the nerve to do it for myself. Sophie, my film star, was really just a romantic dream, a desire to do what was expected of me. No: instead I was relieved she wasnt interested in me, other than as a mate. In my real dreams my hidden desires I longed to kiss Alexander, I longed to laugh his laugh. I wanted to be him. But all I could think about was how hed react if I plucked up my courage and declared my love for him. A love that I never spoke of other than in my solitude, in my fantasies, in my dreams. I never told any of my mates or members of my family, and I certainly never told any of the boys I fell in love with over the next few years. But one of my teachers at high school found out. And what goes around, comes around. I was talking the other day to a nineteen-yearold guy from Turkey whod choose his family if it came to a choice between his family and living openly as a homosexual. He leads two separate lives: one with his homosexual friends and guys he meets, and one with his family and his old friends. He dreams about having a boyfriend, a steady relationship. And now my thirteen-year-old stepson has problems. Hes spent two years hoping for the girl he loves to notice him. Shes interested in the older guys, he sighs, and she can do so many things and knows such a lot about peace and the environment and what have you. He makes do with being just good mates with her. I have to stop being so childish, he says. You can use your own teenage years as a starting point for planning your work on sexuality and personal relationships, taking your own experiences and those of your friends as a basis. Think back and consider these questions:
I I I
What were your thoughts on life during your childhood and teenage years? What were your thoughts on your body, love and sexuality? What would you have liked to know more about?
Planning 21
I I
What did you hope for, dream about? What kind of relationships did you have with your friends, your boyfriends/girl friends and parents? Who did you talk to?
Think about these questions and talk to your colleagues about your teenage years, and discuss your perceptions of how life must be for the teenagers of today. What kind of things do you think its important to tell teenagers about sexuality, desire, pleasure and love? What messages do you want to pass on to them? What facts do you want them to take with them into their adult lives, and what needs do you think they have? Joint discussions among members of the staff team are important. We often find a kind of false consensus among staff teams as regards what we should say about sexuality. False, because team members often havent discussed their own values. And yet they assume they share an adult view of sexuality that they should pass on to young people. But people have different views on different topics and that really doesnt matter. We dont all have to have the same opinions because our experiences are all different; but its good to clarify these. If we dont, discussing and agreeing on our intentions and methods becomes an uphill struggle.
Sexuality and identity

Issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships are essentially all about identity. Its all about fairly simple but existential basic questions. Am I good enough? Who am I? Am I normal? Will I ever find anyone to love, or anyone to love me? These questions can be even more relevant to children and young people with disabilities. Here, the sense of not knowing whether youre good enough, not being attractive enough or sexually interesting can be almost tangible. This feeling can be underlined even more during the teenage years when young people are extending their boundaries both physically and mentally. We need to include all young people in our work. Were all different, and our identities are a combination of many factors. For some people, being homosexual overshadows everything else; for others, coming from a different country is the dominant factor; and
22 Planning
for others, gender or religious beliefs are the main driving force. Most of us probably perceive ourselves as being a combination of all kinds of things, so how we use words is important. For example, its important to remember to use the word partner, instead of assuming that guys meet girls and girls meet guys, and to avoid saying we know, dont we, what guys/girls are like because when it comes down to it, what do we really know? If we regard teaching on sexuality and personal relationships as an identity issue, it takes on a new meaning. Knowing about sexuality and personal relationships and reflecting on these is all part of finding your own identity. These days, when adolescence goes on over a period of time, sexuality and the gathering of sexual experience are all part of becoming an adult. Sexuality, love and personal relationships are one of a number of arenas in which self-analysis takes place. As sexuality is a means by which young people form their identities, its important, when teaching, to let them know theyre normal, to individualise. To acknowledge, to challenge. By letting young people know theyre normal, we can show them that theyre not alone with their thoughts and feelings. We can show them there are other people who share my thoughts and feelings. Individualising allows us to underline the unique traits of individuals. Young people recognise themselves in other peopleboth male and female but they realise theyre not exactly the same: Im a completely unique combination of features is the message we want to put forward. We acknowledge them by showing them that theyre good enough, that theyre just like lots of other people, even as regards their failings. We can challenge young people by asking questions and sometimes even by questioning so that we help them to find their own inner compass to guide them through life, help them to find their own yesses, nos and dont knows. The fact that the basic existential issues differ at various phases of life means that discussions on sexuality and personal relationships for high school students differ in some respects to those for fourteen and fifteen-year-olds. If fourteen-year-olds wonder how to get off with people, eighteen-year-olds might wonder how they can live together with the person they love. But many aspects are the same because young people start to wonder about different things, and their viewpoints and responses alter as they get older and gain more experience and knowledge. If you ask what is love?, youll get different answers from a seven-year-old, an eleven-
Planning 23
year-old, a fifteen-year-old and an eighteen-year-old and from a 45-year-old too, for that matter. The answers will probably also vary depending on whether the person you ask has ever been involved in a relationship. If you ask people whove just fallen in love or whove recently ended a relationship, that experience also colours the answers. In other words, you get different answers to the same questions. This is why its important for sexuality education to be provided at regular intervals and over relatively long periods. Whats more, you could also sayputting it rather simply that people in their early teens are more in need of facts, while people in their late teens need reflection more. In any case, discussions are what form the basis for all work on sexuality and personal relationships for all age groups.
A planning model starting points and perspectives

Using the following simple model is one way of planning and analysing your work on sexuality and personal relationships. This model includes a number of perspectives on the work which can serve to broaden discussions.
Promotion
Criteria
Reflection
Organisation
Purpose and theory
Sexuality and personal relationships
Skills development Content
Gender
Method
Adulthood/ adolescence
24 Planning
Starting points
Criteria Look at the criteria in the workplace which permit well thought out work on sexuality and personal relationships: support, money, materials and skills. For example, the following questions may form the basis of a discussion on the criteria for work on sexuality and personal relationships:
I
How do the school head and management support work on sexuality and personal relationships? Has money been set aside in the budget? What skills do staff in the workplace have to allow them to do this work, and which skills are lacking?
I I
Organisation This involves looking at how the school or youth club organises its teaching on sexuality and personal relationships. Discuss the following questions before starting to organise activities.
I I I
Is there a team to do the work in the workplace, and who exactly will do the work? How many hours are available, and how will these be used? How will the work be assessed?
Purpose and theory Theres no such thing as practice without theory; its more or less (un)conscious or formulated. The purpose hasnt been discussed in some workplaces, and work there isnt based on theories or ideas on sexuality. Its good for the working team to discuss issues such as the following in order to provide a foundation on which to work:
I I I
What do we want, and whats the purpose of this work? What are our objectives, and how can we attain them? What message do we want to put across?
Planning 25
Content Sexuality and personal relationships are something young people could talk about for ages if they only had the opportunity. We have to choose just a few of all possible topics and questions, and this selection will vary from school to school and from youth club to youth club. Here, we can discuss issues such as:
I I I
What content should we include? In what way does this work cover entire topics? What kind of balance is achieved between facts and reflection?
Method The methods you opt to work with depend on the one hand on the purpose of the teaching/the work in its entirety, and on the other on the lesson or session. The choice of methods is also linked with the perspectives outlined below. Here, you can ask questions such as:
I I I
What methods should we work with? How do we give young people the opportunity to reflect? What topics should be discussed in large and small groups?
Skills development To work with sexuality and personal relationships, you also need constant skills development as regards facts, methods and your own thoughts. For example, you may need to learn more about group discussions or value clarification exercises, how to gather facts or perhaps look at conceptual historical views on sexuality. Here, you can ask questions such as:
I I I
What do we need to or want to learn more about? How do we go about creating a good skills profile within the working group? Does the group have the opportunity to exchange experiences and provide guidance?
26 Planning
Perspectives on work with sexuality and personal relationships

Id like to add to these starting points a few perspectives on which opinions need to be made and forms need to be found. The perspectives I have selected are as follows: promotional, reflection/consideration, equal rights/gender and adult/adolescent.
Promotional Adopting a promotional perspective involves working on the basis of positive aspects and reinforcing the good things in the young peoples lives. Its better to use affirmative messages in preference to cautionary, negative ones. Reflection and consideration Its important to give young people the opportunity to reflect on and consider their thoughts, attitudes and standards as regards sexuality and personal relationships. This may take place in the form of chats, value clarification exercises and discussions. Young people appreciate having the opportunity to find out what other people both adults and their own peers think about sexuality and personal relationships. Equal rights and gender perspective To put it simply, gender is all about the social roles expected of men and women on account of our biological gender. We all have to adopt attitudes towards these preconceptions of men and women and sexuality. How does the content illustrate these preconceptions? What messages are guys and girls being given regarding views of men, women and sexuality? As adults, we should be careful not to maintain or consolidate stereotypical gender patterns. Adult and adolescent perspective All too often, youll find an adult trend to teaching, covering questions which adults think young people should discuss. Moreover, the correct view is obvious fairly often. Adults may perhaps think young people are more experienced than they actually are, that adult sexuality and adolescent sexuality are similar and that young people would prefer to talk about contraceptives rather than desire and pleasure. Sometimes, adults also make incorrect assumptions about young peoples sexuality:
Planning 27
they may believe, for example, that most young people lose their virginity against their will or under the influence of alcohol. To maintain an adolescent perspective, it may be a good idea to look at the preconceptions of the staff team. However, its necessary to shed light upon areas which young people perhaps dont mention theyre interested in, such as homosexuality and gender roles. As one teenage boy put it: It was exactly what I needed to know although I didnt know it at the time!
Work planning and the working team

Work plan If you dont have a work plan, youll find it difficult to assess and develop your work. If you do have a work plan, new staff will also find it easier to get up to speed with work on sexuality and personal relationships in the workplace. The work plan should provide stimulation and stability for the work. Working on the work plan is also a dynamic process which emphasises the purpose, targets and message. This work can inspire discussions within the working team on sexuality and the starting points available within the work, and why. Theres no reason to include everything in a work plan as parts of the work involve a kind of tacit knowledge and experience. The work plan allows the working team to set a course and revise it along the way. Working team As far as work on sexuality and personal relationships is concerned, its important particularly in schools to have a working team that can plan and coordinate the work. This doesnt mean that the working team should provide all the teaching. The more people involved in the work, the better. Youth clubs often have few staff, and its natural for the entire staff team to take part. Some schools allow responsibility for teaching on sexuality and personal relationships to be switched between various working teams. Others involve all their staff in annual theme weeks. School heads, the management and the working team share responsibility for ensuring that people are made aware of targets, the purpose and method in the workplace and that work is assessed. Quality and variation Another reason for having a working team and work plan is that this allows you to ensure that all students at the school receive similar teaching. A review of teaching
28 Planning
on sexuality and personal relationships carried out by the Swedish National Agency for Education shows that quality varies widely; not a satisfactory situation. Certain students receive varied teaching of good quality, while others receive information oriented teaching. Whats the situation at your school?
Continuity and regularity Work on sexuality and personal relationships requires plenty of exposure. Occasional efforts have less effect than repeated work over time. Individual theme days are reasonably pointless unless theyre placed in context. The teaching or work should be spread out over a reasonably long period of time and be provided for students in all years. As they get older, children and young people need the opportunity to try out their experiences, values and knowledge over and over, as well as in new contexts. A lot of issues are emotional or relate to values, and so students need time to consider them. Another reason is that teenagers are all at such varying stages in their lives.
Hans Olsson
Teacher and author working with school issues at the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education.
Planning 29
PLANNING MODELS
Theme week at Alby School a planning model

Work on sexuality and personal relationships has been carried out at Alby School for more than 20 years now. The number of days allocated to sexuality and personal relationships has increased and the content has altered over the years. Some years have been better, others poorer. Twenty-five or so people that is to say, half the staff take part in the annual theme week for Year 9. Teachers, the school nurse, the counsellor and youth leaders all take part. About 70 per cent of students have an immigrant background. Planning begins in the autumn, when students are asked what the theme week should include. A responsibility and working team is formed at the start of the spring term. Only staff who wish to participate do so. A list is made of what every member of the team can contribute, and tasks are then allocated. These include gathering knowledge, booking lecturers and collecting material. Key topics for the sexuality and personal relationships week at Alby School are self-esteem and respect for yourself and others. The sexuality and personal relationships week starts off with form teachers presenting the targets and schedule. These teachers also chat to the students about what they expect from the week. The various elements are discussed in entire classes, half classes and smaller groups.
Examples of theme week elements

I
Value clarification exercises on sexuality, friendship and camaraderie. Three lessons. Discussions in half classes and small groups. Questions on friendship, love and sexuality. Two lessons.
30 Planning
Showing a video that deals with issues relating to contraceptives, sexuality and health and young people.
I I I I
Discussion on the content of porn magazines. Reading poems from a book. Discussions in half classes. Two lessons. Information and discussion on incest. Three lessons. Visit from a gay and lesbian organisation. All together in the assembly hall and then in each class. Questionnaire before and after the visit, asking about students attitudes towards homosexual people. Visit from the womens refuge. Boys and girls separately. Lecture on anabolic steroids. Work on texts dealing with ethics and philosophical issues. Four lessons. Information on sexually transmitted infections and handing out of condoms by a midwife from the youth clinic. Information on HIV/AIDS. Three lessons. Ethics and morals. This work is based on a presentation produced at the school. Two lessons. Information and discussion on prostitution half classes. Music and love. Dance lessons. Assessment by means of a show of hands: good quite good poor.
I I I I
I I
I I I I
Planning 31
PLANNING MODELS
Youth, health, love at Hovsj School an example

At Hovsj School the field of sexuality and personal relationships is dealt with in thematic form under the title Youth, health, love. Year 9 students devote around 20 hours to issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships. These hours are divided over a period of eight to nine weeks. Planning begins at the end of the autumn, when the staff concerned meet up and discuss wholl be taking part in the theme work for the year. Form teachers, the school nurse and /or school counsellor often take part. All in all, about 14 people are involved. One important issue at the planning stage is to discuss which values are to form the basis for the work. At the planning stage, various approaches to pornography are discussed, among other things. Students dont take part in planning. The school head supports the work.
Youth, health, love

I
Initially, students respond to a questionnaire containing questions on relationships, love and sexuality. This questionnaire is used later as a basis for discussion. Revision of basic knowledge, such as anatomy. Love and romance: how do you get together with someone? Who do you fall in love with? Can boys and girls ever be friends? Sexuality: am I normal? Pleasure, desire, making love. Relationships: being engaged, living together, being married, infidelity. Homosexuality: visit from a gay and lesbian organisation.
I I
I I I
32 Planning
The downside of sexuality: abortions, sexually transmitted infections, pornography. Gender roles. Love and creativity in the form of an exhibition including pictures, text and music. Finishing off with the opening of the exhibition and a cocktail party with alcoholfree cocktails!
I I I
Discussion is the central topic. Most of the work is carried out in groups of no more than 10 students and a discussion leader. The groups are made up of students from different classes, and sometimes there are girl-only and boy-only groups. The underlying message of the theme work is: look after yourself, and show consideration! If the theme of youth, health, love is to be repeated and undergo development, the following criteria have to be in place:
I
The discussion leaders must be able and willing to offer their personal experiences and have a positive attitude towards sexuality. Time and money have to be set aside. The discussion leaders will need to undergo constant training in the field of sexuality and personal relationships.
I I
Planning 33
PLANNING MODELS
Learning for Life at Rudbeck School

Rudbeck School is a high school with more than 1600 students. A course on health, sexuality and personal relationships going by the name of Learning for Life has been offered since 1995. This course is worth 50 study points, covering 30 hours (mainly in Year 1) and is compulsory for all students at the school. Grades have also been awarded for it since the 2000 autumn term. One aim of Learning for Life is to give young people the tools they need to be able to get to know themselves and thus to enhance their abilities to understand and look positively at themselves and others. Another aim is to give students a broader factual foundation with regard to the topics dealt with. The basic view is that body and soul are units of equivalent value. Work on Learning for Life is based on the needs and interests of both the group and individuals. Participation of the young people in this teaching is of fundamental importance. The following areas are dealt with:
I I I I I
Self-awareness. Physical welfare. Sexuality and personal relationships. Life and death. Relationships and conflicts.
The leaders and young people involved will determine how work on Learning for Life will be formulated. The course plan provides a framework allowing scope for various solutions with regard to both methodology and content. However, chats and discussions in full classes and half classes are included at all stages. Whats known as a mentometer, manufactured by two technology teachers at the school, is a source of much pleasure. This allows students responses to questions to be dealt with anonymously. Ten or so teachers and student welfare staff are working on Learning for Life. There are two leaders for certain elements of the course. Support from the school head has been clear and distinct from the outset. Learning for Life is regarded as a subject that provides support for other subjects.
34 Planning
PLANNING MODELS
Learning about Life at Tibble High School

Tibble High School has some 800 students. Since 1993, the Learning about Life course has been compulsory for Year 2 students and carries 30 study points. Teaching on sexuality and personal relationships has been offered at Tibble High School for almost 20 years now. The Learning about Life course is based on experiences gleaned over these years. Its overall objective is to give young people the keys to a richer life. Today, this course in theoretical terms is part of Science and Religious Education. Most of the course takes place over Year 2, but in terms of time the teaching doesnt necessarily have to take place in connection with science and RE teaching.
Learning about Life: objectives

I I I
Personality development and enhancement of understanding of key life issues. Enhanced understanding and respect for yourself and others. Enhanced self-awareness and self-esteem.
Once the course is complete, students should have:

I I I I
Taken part in discussions on ethical issues. Taken part in value clarification exercises on ethical issues. Taken part in value clarification exercises which reflect male and female sexuality. Taken part in discussions on homosexuality, friendship, love, abortions, alcohol and sexuality.
Planning 35
Received information on HIV, AIDS, sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy.
Learning about Life is based on the real lives of the students. Active participation is a key concept for this course. Discussions, value clarification exercises and debating games are integrated with brief reviews of facts using articles and films. Five people teachers, the counsellor and school nurse act as group leaders. Two of these people are male, three female. Students are kept in full classes for this work due to limited resources. The school heads have actively worked to implement this course.
36 Planning
PLANNING MODELS
Sexuality and personal relationships Year 9 studies at Fittja School

At Fittja School around 98 per cent of students have a non-Swedish cultural background. There are many nationalities at the school, which has developed methods for discussing personal relationships and learning to respect one anothers views. The school has been working on the topic of personal relationships for many years now, and this work has developed and altered according to the groups of students and the teachers providing the instruction. Here, a model consisting of two weeks of topic work is used for Year 9, often in the spring term. This course follows the regular timetable as far as possible, and all teachers who teach Year 9 take part. Any new teachers wholl be taking part complete the basic Lafa course Facts and perspectives on adolescence, sexuality and HIV/AIDS during the autumn term. The school also runs a number of joint conferences in plenty of time before starting work on the topic, describing the direction and objectives. After that, the teachers have to plan their own work. Throughout this period, students are given more time for crafts on the timetable. Then they have to do practical group work on a given topic such as black/red, love/hate, falling in love. (Find out more about this in the section entitled Peepshow craft, art, interaction.) In this way, the topic is based on as many discussion situations as possible, giving students the opportunity to bounce thoughts and ideas off adults and one another. The students have been pleased that their classes have been divided into separate groups of boys and girls on a number of occasions. The objective set by the school for the topic is to enhance students abilities to make independent decisions on issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships. As the emphasis is on discussion, the school makes sure that biological/medical issues, such as puberty and sexually transmitted infections, are dealt with early on, either during the preceding term or even earlier.
Planning 37
Elements
I I I I I I
Value clarification exercises. Discussion groups with the counsellor. Visit from a gay and lesbian organisation. Visit to a youth clinic. Visit to the theatre: a performance focused on youth and sexuality. Dance instruction.
Materials
I I I I I I
Youth literature. Magazines. Poetry. Music. Foreign youth magazines. Logbooks kept by the students throughout the period.
38 Planning
PLANNING MODELS
Henriksdal Youth Club Love Week

Henriksdal Youth Club was opened in the 1970s and is now visited by some 120 young people aged between 10 and 19. Sexuality and personal relationships have been a focus of work at the youth club for many years now. Almost half of the ten youth leaders have taken part in this work. One important objective is to encourage the young people to take an active part in youth club work. They have to develop their skills when it comes to putting their own needs and interests into words and attempting to turn them into reality. This is why there are groups of young people responsible for the cafeteria and for buying materials and equipment for the club, among other things, and why general meetings are held regularly. The working methods have varied. On one occasion, a Love Week was arranged which the young people helped to plan.
Love Week: content

I
Visit from the youth clinic and a gay and lesbian organisation. As well as providing information, there was time for questions and a discussion. Literature sessions led by a librarian. Love dinner. Magazine produced and published by the young people themselves. Film showings. A play on the topic of love, written and performed by the young people themselves.
I I I I I
Planning 39
For a number of years, work was done at Henriksdal Youth Club on monthly topics such as exercise, health, sexuality and personal relationships. The objective was to give young people the opportunity to discuss issues and topics of relevance to them. The basic intention behind open activities is to focus on spontaneous discussions and the needs of young people. Working groups made up of 4 5 young people and one leader were responsible for various topics. The role of the adults was to provide inspiration and support and to help the young people complete their task, from the basic concept to the finished result. Girls evenings and guys evenings are part of a third model adopted at Henriksdal Youth Club. This concept was suggested by the young people at a general meeting. The guys were responsible for the food and entertainment one evening, and the girls reciprocated at a later date.
40 Planning
PLANNING MODELS
Man in Focus KSF High School

The High School of the Stockholm Consumers Cooperative Society (KSF High School) is an independent school that takes students from all over Sweden and currently has just 200 students. The school strives to give students a rounded view of life, and at least 50 per cent of all teaching is subject-integrated. Traditional teaching in classes is often superseded by investigative, problem-based methods in project form. The school has been working actively with health, sexuality and personal relationships for five years now. In Year 1, all students create a personal health profile in which they discuss their own lifestyles, including information on diet, sleep, stress and so on. This work is followed up by theme days in which students hold discussions in smaller groups. In Year 2, attempts have been made to incorporate a coherent project period entitled Man in Focus, taking place over four weeks. Over this period, students work on the project 2.5 to 3 days a week, including at least one day on a weekend. Every week, the students are given new questions on ethics, morals, relationships and life in general to discuss, investigate and report on. Confidence-inspiring discussions in small groups of just students and of students and adults are important for this work.
Structure
The idea behind the project is to stimulate students and persuade them to think about their own situations. The teachers will perform small sketches on the topic of the week to provide inspiration.
Week 1: Handling stress Vera is a 17-year-old girl who simply cant keep up with the demands from her parents, boyfriend, friends, sports training, school and part-time job. What should she do?
Planning 41
Week 2: Alcohol, sexuality and personal relationships Anna goes off on a language course abroad and meets a guy she falls madly in love with. But she feels fat and doesnt dare let him see her naked. But one night they got very drunk, and she doesnt remember exactly what happened next Is it okay to get drunk enough to dare to bare all? Week 3: Quality of life and lifestyles Mr X has come from a different country, and all his friends are from that country. However, hes been seeing a girl from his new country in secret. What should he do? What would happen if he spilled the beans? This is a tough situation for him. What would be a good way for him to tell his mates all about her? Week 4: More details on any topic The students themselves can choose whatever topic they like this week. They can choose something that hasnt been discussed yet, or they can return to any of the topics already discussed for further discussion.
Methodology
I I
All five teachers for this year act as supervisors. External lecturers give lectures at the start of the period which could provide students with new knowledge and perspectives. All 65 students in the year attend these lectures. The three topics listed are presented in sketch form by the teachers. Reports on the investigative group work on the topic of the week are given at the end of the week. The groups are mixed: there are eight students and one supervisor in each group. The single-sex groups hold discussions which start off with hot topics on relationships, gender roles, the body, pornography and how to pull. Students health profiles are followed up by one-to-one chats about health.
I I
42 Planning
Its good to run a project that appeals to Year 2 students. This is the toughest high school year theyll ever face: the novelty of being at high school has worn off and doing their finals is a long way into the future. Students also think this is one of the best things theyve ever done. The school opted to link the project to its programme targets so that students can pick up study points for the work done here.
Self-esteem
Self-esteem 45
Self-esteem To love is to grow

Theres one thing Im quite sure of as far as self-esteem is concerned: its not something you get for free. Self-esteem is something you earn, fighting both with and for yourself. Gaining self-esteem is all about finding a balance between the conflicting parts of yourself. Between the desire to love and the pleasure of hating. Between tenderness and fear. Between apathy and passion. Between your personal life and your political life. Self-esteem, self-awareness, self-confidence these three terms are rather difficult to define. We educators commonly use them. We use them more or less every day. Jane is so quiet, shes got so little self-confidence, we say, or Joe has absolutely no self-awareness. We all agree that the most important thing of all is to enhance students self-esteem.
What is self-esteem?
We have an idea of how someone with plenty of self-esteem should behave. But what is self-esteem? Ive tried to think which of the people around me possess this imprecise, desirable trait. Indeed, do I possess it? Can you just have a bit of selfesteem or is your entire personality permeated by it? You can ask yourself:
I I I
What does self-esteem involve? How is it apparent? Why is self-esteem an important element of work on sexuality and personal relationships? How can we adults enhance young peoples self-esteem?
Fighting both with and for yourself, as I said above. But always in relation to others as well. Relationships allow people to develop their self-esteem and see how people perceive themselves and others; loving relationships or friendships, or relationships with former partners, work colleagues or your own children.
46 Self-esteem
Sexuality
Self-esteem can also develop in sexual relationships. Sexuality is something we all possess, and we seek it because we want it. Sometimes it involves love as well, but not always. Touching, kissing and gazing at one another confirms what we think. What could be more important than that during the teenage years? Understanding what you truly hope for that someone else finds you attractive or lovable. Body image is important: feeling at ease with your body helps to enhance self-esteem. Some people are constantly searching for confirmation of their sexuality but never find it. Probably even more common are the people whose self-esteem is rarely if ever bolstered by the touch of a hand or the glance from a loving eye. There are people who have to content themselves with admiring from a distance and longing for the touch of skin on skin, flesh on flesh, or the people whose self-esteem has already been crushed to such an extent that they dont dare to meet other people. And there are people whose love has no name: boys who like boys, and girls who like girls. Touch is the key to life.
To love is to grow
Poet Birgitta Hjelt once wrote: To love is to grow, and once you have love no one can weaken you. Self-esteem isnt all about just what you can achieve with the assistance of others, but also all about what you lose through being let down. Weve all been let down at some point its all part of life. Maybe it sounds strange, but I believe that the people closest to us do sometimes have to let us down so that we can grow into adulthood and cope with standing on our own two feet. But what happens if youre let down time and time again? To love is to grow, as I quoted from Birgitta Hjelt. But to be let down time after time is to be weakened. It undermines your self-esteem and sows the seeds of doubt. It makes you think youre good for nothing. When words are no more than words. When encouragement and support are never forthcoming. You stop trusting people. You dont dare relate to other people. You start to respond with mistrust.
Self-esteem 47
The ability to listen

Have you ever stopped to think how many crucial moments we experience each and every day in our encounters with others? There are a lot of factors which make the struggle for self-esteem much easier. One thing Id like to emphasise is the ability to listen. You dont have to spend hours listening, and you dont have to listen to any old thing. Sometimes just a couple of minutes is enough. Sometimes this is all you have to give, but those few minutes can be truly vital. And vice versa, what happens to people who dont have the ability to listen? Anyone who practises listening also learns to listen to themselves and to see right through empty words and manipulative listening.
A bucketful of self-esteem
While working on this text, Ive been asking colleagues and friends what self-esteem means to them. These questions have almost always led to long discussions on internal and external influences, on upbringing, on work situations, on fears and qualities. Weve been unable to agree on any one definition. The only thing weve managed to agree is that self-esteem is a positive trait. Virginia Satir, one of the primary figures of family therapy, compares self-esteem to a bucket full to different levels on different days and at different times, and the fill level also varies from person to person. For some people that bucket is often full to the brim, while for others theres just a splash of self-esteem at the bottom most of the time. When have you thats right, you reading this felt your self-esteem to be strong? Or, to use Satirs metaphor; when have you felt your bucket to be full? When has it started to feel empty, and when has it been topped up? What about the young people you know how is it for them? What about their buckets?
When I feel secure, I can let you do anything. Thats when longing is a beautiful thing. Thats when its wonderful to think about the moment when Ill ring your doorbell and get to see you again. Thats when I feel a calm spreading throughout my entire body, when I know that theres one person in this whole wide world whom I love. When all my fear of being rejected, unwanted, simply disappears thats when its easy to live, easy to love. Thats when the love comes from deep inside me, not like
48 Self-esteem
a spell to persuade other people to like me. Thats when its easy to show love. Im worth loving. But not just by anyone. Just by you. I just want to be loved by you. From a love letter
Hans Olsson
Self-esteem 49
METHODS
Feeling excluded
Pictures and words can provide a good starting point for discussions on how it feels to be excluded. You can use the following examples to get your discussion going, or you can pick your own words and pictures to suit your own particular group. Hand out the texts, show the picture you chose, and then discuss the examples on the basis of the young peoples own particular starting points.
I
Will is at a party being held at the home of a guy he doesnt know very well. He goes up to a group of guys and girls and tries to get in on the conversation, but he feels nobody is taking any notice of him.
How do you think Will feels? What you think he should do?
I
Emmas class is about to go a long coach trip. When Emma boards the coach all the girls pair up straight away, leaving Emma to sit on her own. When the girls sitting behind her start whispering and laughing, Emma thinks theyre talking about her.
Why is being the odd one out so difficult? What can the class do to make sure nobody feels excluded?
50 Self-esteem
METHODS
Writing exercise
This writing and discussion exercise can start off with the young people reading a poem which youve chosen, either on their own or in a group. Then start a discussion on the poem. The following questions are examples of starting points you might find useful:
I I
What kind of atmosphere is generated by the poem? What does the poem say to you?
An association exercise might be suitable for the second question. Encourage the young people to associate freely. Then give them the task of writing a dream letter. This letter should contain dreams and desires. They can address their letters to individual recipients, indicate who wrote the letter or remain entirely anonymous. Collect in the letters and then read them out one at a time. If any of the students asks for their letter not be read out, respect that. Start a discussion on the content of each letter once its been read out. The teacher leads the discussion. Its important to emphasise that no one dream or desire is worth more than any other. This exercise requires four full-class lessons. Everyones dreams and desires are different. They can be realistic or unrealistic. In our experience, the discussions on these letters are often interesting for students. They lead to questions on sexuality, ethics and life issues in a natural way.
Self-esteem 51
METHODS
Being seen through photography using photos and videos in groups of girls
Using photography and video filming allows girls to learn a trade, while at the same time taking on board knowledge which enhances their self-esteem and self-confidence. It puts them in a better position to assert themselves with boys and indicate where their boundaries lie. It makes their own needs evident.
I
The girls turn the camera on themselves and the world about them. Theyre allowed to experiment with both design and content in their photos.
The girls can photograph their surroundings and take self-portraits. These self-portraits, which ideally should be taken over a fairly long period of time, indicate change and development. The body is an important element in these photos. The girls can also photograph their families their parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters in order to provide a context. Girls need to see mothers and other women as examples. These photos will allow the girls to ask questions and look for answers about their bodies, sexuality, love and death. Who am I? is the universal question throughout this work.
52 Self-esteem
Relationships
Relationships 55
Infatuation, couples and sexuality

In their concern for children and young people, adults often worry about the sexual behaviour of young people and are anxious about them embarking on sexuality too early, before theyre mature enough to handle it. But what do the sensual and sexual experiences of adolescence mean to the young people themselves? What significance do those early first experiences of sexuality have as regards entering adulthood, aiming for personal maturity? How do these affect the development of identity and the ability to relate to a partner? To gain an insight into these kinds of questions, we can use the theories on psychosexual development in adolescence which Charlotte Bhler, who later became Professor of Psychology in Vienna, began formulating more than 50 years ago. Patterns of sexual behaviour have altered since then, but her descriptions of the psychological and social mechanisms in the sexual socialisation process of adolescence are worth noting even now. The strength in her findings lies in the fact that theyre based on analyses of diaries written by young people at the stage of life she was studying. Diaries are confidantes whove been entrusted with innermost thoughts and secret confessions. They bear witness to longings, desire and sensuality, as well as confusion, self-contempt and loneliness. Bhler concurs with an age-old tradition and is of the opinion that every individual has an inherent need for completion. This need for completion instilled in us by nature leads to a longing for someone else when we reach adolescence. This longing is a distinctive feature of adolescence. It doesnt involve any sexual need that has to be met, nor does it have anything to do with finding a special person. Rather, young girls or boys look forward to what they dont have. Longing is an unavoidable part of growing up. Bhler herself discusses the issue in heterosexual terms, but her thoughts as regards longing for something thats missing doesnt mean that this longing for completion cant relate to someone of the same sex. In the diaries, Bhler distinguishes between two essentially different lines of development that run throughout the years of adolescence: the emotional and the practical side of the process of achieving psychosexual maturity. On the one hand, young people practise their own abilities as regards romantic sensuality and feelings of love. On the other hand, they try out sexual practice and relating their sexuality to
56 Relationships
another person. The emotional line of development includes infatuation and intimate advances, while the practical line includes flirtation and sexual experiences involving the genitals. The infatuation allows young people to practise being in love on their own without being interrupted by the intrusion of reality. Infatuation is fuelled by distance. If the focus of these romantic feelings comes too close, things fizzle out quickly. The young peoples own feelings are the significant feature here; theyre trying out their own abilities to experience love for another person, rather than their abilities to relate to another individual. One typical feature of infatuation is that the feelings gradually fade without fuss. Loving, steady relationships offer opportunities for young people to practise being part of a couple, to learn how to adapt to fit in with another person. Flirting differs from infatuation in one crucial way. Young people who flirt aim to approach the person they admire, and their own feelings are determined by the reactions of that person. Flirting is how young people learn how other people react, how to show interest. This indicates how they should behave in order to establish contact. Sexual practice involving the genitals, such as intercourse, is also part of this line of development. The personality of the individual undergoes development as part of the tension arising between the emotional and the practical lines of development. This tension is essentially the driving force for an intensive inner life which, in adolescence, is manifested in inner anxiety, longing and pondering on existential issues. If one line of development is allowed scope at the expense of the other, this tension is broken and personal development of the individual is inhibited. If practical experiences overshadow emotional experiences, sexual interests involving the genitals will dominate the life of the individual. If, on the other hand, the young person in question puts off experiencing sexual practice for too long, this will also have a negative impact on their cultural and personal identity. With Bhlers outlook, therefore, sexual experiences coming both too early and too late could jeopardise the overall personality development of individuals. Infatuation and feelings of love are no substitute for intercourse. Sexual practice is no substitute for hugs and feelings of love. Both types of experience are needed during the development process of adolescence. As Bhler puts it, its necessary to find the happy medium between too early (hostile to cultural development) and too late (hostile to personality development).
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Using Bhlers theoretical development model as a framework for the interpretation of relevant Swedish data on sexual behaviour, we can detect a pattern indicating how young people integrate sexuality into their lives. They gradually gather different types of experience of sexuality, from steady relationships to petting, necking and intercourse to stimulation to orgasm without intercourse. From this perspective, intercourse is one of a number of experiences of sexuality which is of significance to the process of maturing during adolescence. There are two types of steady relationship, one romantic and another, more mature type. In romantic relationships, young people can ask each other out, start going out together and be an item for a few days, but prefer not to meet up on their own. Mature steady relationships are different; here, being alone with one another is precisely whats required. They practise the roles and expectations of being part of a couple. Petting and necking include touching the genitals, while young people typically lose their virginity having vaginal intercourse in the missionary position, with the girl on her back and the guy on top. Young people have those first early experiences of intercourse for their own sake, rather than to promote their relationships. All theyre interested in is their own experiences of how intercourse feels. Once theyve found that out and start to familiarise themselves with the experience, intercourse can gradually start to become a mutual act which aims to promote the relationship. The more advanced type of petting, which involves stimulating and being stimulated to orgasm without intercourse, sometimes known as mutual masturbation, is for young people an act which leaves them more vulnerable than intercourse in the missionary position. This solely involves desire and pleasure. While this gradual gathering of practical experience is taking place, the no less important development on the emotional plane is also under way. This involves young people increasingly allowing their bodies to be touched and caressed, daring to take off more of their clothes. Then gradually, they also dare to share their thoughts and express their feelings. Thats when they have the courage to talk to their partner about what they think, what they feel about what theyre doing or would like to do together sexually.
58 Relationships
When individuals feel theyre familiar with a new experience of sexuality and know how their own bodies and souls feel, they then feel mature enough to move on to the next step on the typical ideal pathway of development and experience. This is the customary pattern of the sexual socialisation process of young people. Thats not to say that this dominant pattern is true of each and every individual. A nonconforming minority group, more boys than girls, characterised by an extensive sex life with frequent intercourse and lots of sexual partners, is a recurring finding in studies of adolescent sexuality. But for adults who meet young people every day as part of their jobs, Bhlers approach to knowledge can provide assistance and support when it comes to acting as a sounding board for young girls or boys. It can help enhance understanding of the role of sexuality in the process of maturing during adolescence. Young people are hardly unconventional in their behaviour when approaching sexuality. They admire, fall in love and become sexually active as is expected of them. But once theyve had their first early experiences of sensuality and sexuality which tie in with both the emotional and the practical line of development, thats when theyre mature enough to start experimenting with their sexuality, to try out sexual variations and new things such as oral and anal sex. As far as education is concerned, the importance of mixing theory with practice is emphasised. This is also how sexuality is incorporated in the lives of young people. Together with friends at the same development phase, they test standards, values and knowledge which theyve gleaned from the adult world against their own personal reality. When developing towards adulthood and their own personal and sexual identities, they constantly reinterpret knowledge and experiences and arrange them into new structures of understanding. Teaching on sexuality and personal relationships offers golden opportunities to support young people in their attempts to learn how to handle their own sexuality as a means of promoting both their own wellbeing and enriching one-to-one relationships.
Gisela Helmius
Midwife, PhD, Sociology
Relationships 59
METHODS
Write about someone you admire

This method is ideal for use in language classes. Set the young people the task of writing about a woman they admire, followed by writing about a man they admire. These texts will give rise to a lot of thought and discussions. While the young people choose the men and women they admire, their values as regards whats seen as masculine and feminine will be revealed. End the exercise with a discussion. Here are some examples of issues to discuss:
I I
Do the men and women in the texts have anything in common? Is there any difference in the people admired by the guys and the girls?
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METHODS
Advice columns
Newspapers and magazines include material which can stimulate a lot of discussion on issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships. Weve selected two such letters by way of example.
Hi, Im a 17-year-old girl and Im wondering what to do about jealousy. Im incredibly jealous. When my boyfriend looks at other girls, I either get really annoyed or sulk for the rest of the day. Theres no reason for me to sulk, but I do anyway. Hope youve got some advice for me, because all my boyfriends think this is a right pain and end up finishing with me. Im engaged now and want my relationship to last. Looking for advice Could I have chlamydia? My girlfriends been unfaithful and told me all about it. Shes always honest and she told me the bloke used a condom. How much of a risk is there of her getting chlamydia if that bloke had slept with somebody who was infected? Im also wondering how much time you should leave between actually having sex and getting tested so as to be sure of an accurate result. Worried 20-year-old
Common core questions and problems in advice columns

I I I I
How do I show my feelings? What should I do to make my relationship last? Needing to be with someone but being afraid of intimacy. The fear of being dumped or dumping someone else.
Relationships 61
I I I I
Poor self-confidence. How do you finish with someone nicely? Fear of rejection, getting your fingers burned. What should I do to make sure Im good enough?
The three-step method

Step 1: Ask the young people to choose a number of advice letters from various newspapers and magazines. Step 2: Get the young people to write their own answers to the letters. Step 3: Discussion based on the answers.
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METHODS
Contact ads
A lot of newspapers and magazines run contact ads. Ask the young people to collect a range of the contact ads from various newspapers, magazines and the Internet. Examples of questions:
I I I I
What adjectives are commonly used? How are ads commonly worded? What dont they mention? Which ads do you think people will reply to and which ones will be ignored? Why?
Discussions often arise once the young people have answered the questions verbally or in writing. At the end of the discussion, ending with the following questions can be a productive exercise:
I I
Do you think the contact ads are a good way of meeting people? What other ways are there of meeting a partner?
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METHODS
Talking about gender roles

Guys and girls can live on entirely different planets. They read different newspapers and magazines. They rarely share leisure interests. Their language and upbringing can differ. All of this means a greater risk of them failing to understand one another, but it can also form the starting point for interesting discussions. Some of the following questions can be used to get a discussion going.
Questions for discussion

I I I I I I I I I
What do guys do when theyre with male friends? What do girls do when theyre with female friends? How are guys and girls brought up? What things are considered to be masculine and feminine? How should guys and girls look and behave in order to be attractive? Do guys and girls want different things out of life? How are guys and girls brought up to express their sexuality? How do guys and girls go about picking someone up? Whats it like to be rejected?
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METHODS
Discussions in small groups on friendship, sex and love

Some of the following questions have been used at Alby School in order to inspire discussions in small groups on sexuality and personal relationships.
Instructions for participants

Sit in small groups of three or four people. Get someone to make notes so that you can tell everyone else about your findings. Think about your answers for a moment first. Look at one question at a time. Let everyone have their say, but speak one at a time. Give reasons for your answers. You need to say more than just yes or no! Remember there are no right or wrong answers. 1. What is friendship? 2. How should a good friend behave? 3. What is love? 4. Are there different kinds of love? Give examples. 5. Compare love and friendship. Whats the same, and whats different? 6. Describe what being in love feels like. 7. Do you think being in love is different for teenagers and pensioners, for example? What differences do you think there are? 8. Do you think homosexual and heterosexual people fall in love in the same way? 9. How should a person behave to make you want to start seeing him or her?
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10. How do you become an item with somebody? 11. Is it okay to be an item with somebody youre not in love with? 12. What makes a good relationship? What should you do to make it good? How should you make up when youve had a row? 13. How do you finish with somebody nicely? 14. Nowadays, a lot of people live together without being married or registering a partnership. Do you think theres any difference between being married or just living with someone, and if so, what differences are there? 15. A lot of people get divorced nowadays. Why do you think that is? 16. Why do people have sex? Whats the best thing about sex? 17. Is it okay to have sex without love? 18. Is it okay to have love without sex? 19. Who should instigate sex? 20. Whos responsible for making sure that contraceptives such as condoms and the Pill are used when you sleep with someone? 21. Do you think sex and relationships are different for homosexuals? 22. Do girls have as high a sex drive as guys? 23. Some people girls as well as guys boast about their sexual experiences or say theyve done things they havent. Why is that? 24. Do you think people stop having sex when they get to a certain age? If so, when? Why? 25. What is infidelity? 26. Why do you think people are unfaithful? 27. Imagine finding out that your boyfriend or girlfriend had been unfaithful. How would it feel, and what would you do?
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28. Would you ever tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that youd been unfaithful? Why, or why not? 29. Try to imagine what itd be like to be 30 and to have children, and then to find out that your partner had been unfaithful. Would you behave differently to now, when youre young and dont have children?
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METHODS
Value clarification exercise gender roles

Divide the group into a group of girls and a group of guys. Ask the girls to leave the room. Describe the various different answers, using the four corners of the room to represent these. Ask the guys to go and stand in the corner that ties in most accurately with their views, and then ask them to go back to the middle of the room. Ask the girls to come back in, then read out the question and the various answers. Then ask the girls to go and stand in the corners they think the guys chose, saying why they chose those particular corners. Then swap round ask the guys to leave the room. End the exercise with a discussion involving both guys and girls.
Suggested question for the guys

Youre out walking with a girl you like when suddenly this big dog comes running up to you. Youre terrified, so you leg it. But when you turn round, you see the girl standing and patting the dog. What do think shes thinking? 1. What a wimp scared of a dog! 2. I can see why he was scared. Hes probably not as used to dogs as I am. 3. Why didnt he stay and protect me if he thought the dog was dangerous? 4. Its nice to see he didnt feel he had to come over all macho.
Suggested question for the girls

Youre sitting at home, relaxing in your trackie bottoms, you havent washed your hair and you havent bothered to put any make-up on. Then suddenly the doorbell rings, and, peering out, you see your new boyfriend standing there. What do you do?
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1. I answer the door, of course. If he wants me, he has to take me as I am. 2. Im afraid he might think Im ugly, but I answer the door anyway and pretend nothings wrong. 3. I pretend Im out and dont answer the door. 4. I answer the door, but then I rush into the bathroom and tidy myself up.
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METHODS
Guys and girls ask one another questions

This is a good method thats often used in work on sexuality and personal relationships. This is how you use it. 1. Ask the guys to anonymously come up with some questions for the girls, and vice versa, relating to anything they want to know about the opposite sex. Ask them to write down their questions on a piece of paper. 2. The groups then swap questions with one another and prepare their answers together in their respective groups. 3. Then the two groups get together and discuss the guys and girls answers. Its best if the leader stays relatively passive and doesnt interrupt the discussion. On the other hand, it may be useful for him/her to get involved in the discussion in order to progress it.
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METHODS
Time for discussion at Vilunda Vocational College

This method has been used at Vilunda Vocational College as part of a course dominated by boys. The teacher has set aside a time for discussion once a week. At the start of the year, students can discuss leisure interests and what they did over the weekend. Later on, they can discuss any conflicts arising within the group and how to resolve these in the best way possible. A lot of the time is spent discussing topics such as sexuality, homosexuality and pornography.
The intention behind this discussion period is

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To create a sense of security within the working group. To give students practice on giving and taking criticism and standing up for their views. To teach the boys to listen to one another.
In the teachers experience, it can take up to six months to create a sense of security within a group. Its also important to agree with the group that anything discussed there must go no further. Everyone has a right to have their say, and everything said is of equal importance. This discussion period has helped students with their studies as a whole. Its made students more creative and independent, and encouraged them to take more responsibility. Students appreciate having some time to chat to an adult. In their view, tensions within the group are relaxed and it becomes easier to do their schoolwork.
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METHODS
Group of guys at Brnnsgrden in Norrtlje

The guys at Brnnsgrden formed a group together with a youth recreation leader. They themselves came up with a name for the group and defined what it should do. Ten boys aged between 15 and 18 meet up once a week to talk about sex, girls, partying and other issues relevant to them at the time. They started off by laying down some ground rules:
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To be a member of the group, you have to be recommended by someone else within the group. Youre not allowed to join the group, then leave, and then rejoin. Its important to maintain confidentiality. If you disobey this rule, you have to pay a fine and invite the person affected to a trip to a restaurant and spend 20 Euro (quite a lot of money for a young person) on them. Everyone should be allowed to have their say without being interrupted. Girls are allowed to come along on occasion, but only if everyone in the group agrees.
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These meetings have become really popular among the guys and are important to them, as demonstrated by the fact that theyve asked to be allowed to meet up and chat more than once a week, for instance. The youth recreation leader takes part as an ordinary group member and puts forward his own views and values, but teaching and instructing arent part of his remit. That said, he does sometimes help guide the discussion.
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METHODS
Peepshow craft, art, interaction

Two theme weeks on sexuality and personal relationships are held each year at Fittja School. All teachers teaching Year 9 that year are involved in these theme weeks. Students have to make peepshows as part of a project involving craft, art and language lessons.
Objective
For students to come up with abstract words and thoughts to do with sexuality and personal relationships using a specific practical working method.
Youll need
Wood, fabric, paper, plaster, paint, newspapers, string and suchlike.
Time
Two 120-minute sessions, plus some time to write a text.
This is what you do

The students are given a brief description on how to work with sexuality and personal relationships in their craft lessons. They themselves then choose working groups: they can work in pairs or in groups of no more than three students. These groups then work with different words or topics such as love, relationships and jealousy, based on their collective experience of a particular book. This work is then displayed in the form of peepshow which may be freestanding or hung up. This peepshow can be made using a cardboard box, a simple wooden box or a cardboard tube 30 cm in diameter. This peepshow then depicts the topic using figures and pictures.
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In their language classes, the students then write explanations for their peepshows, describing why they chose their particular topic and what their peepshows represent. The students work independently with their selected topics. The teachers are there to provide guidance and shouldnt influence how the students represent their word or topic. Once the peepshows are finished, the teachers and students chat about them, discuss the texts and describe how the group work went.
Rounding off
The students can round off their work by creating an exhibition for other students at the school. The scenes depicted in the peepshows vary in terms of detail and content. Scenes of love and sex are common. These peepshows may consist of one more scenes. The words or topics which the students work on vary from year to year.
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Sexuality and contraceptives
Sexuality and contraceptives 77
A look at adolescent sexuality

Young people all over the world have one thing in common their interest in sex. Its no exaggeration to say that sexuality is the main focus of young peoples thoughts and notions. Their senses are crammed with questions and fantasies on sexuality, feelings of curiosity, temptations and fascination mixed with fear. And perhaps a little terror and dread also. Its impossible to avoid it. When the secondary sexual characteristics start to develop when girls develop breasts and start their periods and boys find their voices breaking and grow bum fluff on their chins young people start to be treated differently by the people around them. Theyre no longer regarded as sexual innocents, but as sexual beings and potential sexual partners. Adults react differently to young children proposing marriage and giving one another big, sloppy kisses in the playground than they do to young people necking in public places. The external physical changes, obvious to other people, that take place during adolescence mean that sexual interests and capacities are assigned to both girls and boys in their dealings with others. This is new and revolutionary for young people. Sexuality really cant be played down for young people. How sexuality feels, both mentally and physically, is a central issue during adolescence.
Types of sexuality
There are actually lots of different types of sexuality. A quick glance at the world shows that sexual attitudes, standards and values vary from culture to culture. Individuals sex lives are their own private affair, but sexuality is also a social phenomenon. The sexualisation process that takes place during adolescence is a social affair. Every culture deals with adolescent sexuality in a way that suits its own sexual views and society. Some cultures keep the two sexes apart by means of statutory decrees on dress codes, or by prescribing strictly segregated tasks and social arenas. In others, girls are married off at an early age, so avoiding undesirable premarital sexuality. One thing which sets apart the Nordic tradition is its verbal frankness as regards sexuality. In the Nordic Region, sexual information and services are being intensified by means of institutions such as youth clinics and compulsory courses in school on sexuality and personal relationships.
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Cultures
A range of different outlooks, both cultural and sexual, are combined in multicultural environments. They sometimes meet openly, but other times they confront one another without thinking. Differences in culinary traditions and dress codes are much easier to perceive and discuss than differences in sexual outlook. One way of initiating discussions on sexuality may involve working on the basis of the rich variety of types of sexuality before coming down to more personal views and experiences. What variations in sexual concepts and attitudes can be found in anthropological or historical literature, for example? How would you behave if you fell in love with a person whose views on sexuality and love were completely alien to you? Awareness of language skills in discussion groups and mutual understanding of the language used as regards sexuality and personal relationships pave the way for creative discussions. Using expressions such as your partner instead of your boyfriend or your girlfriend is also a wise strategy in order to give people permission to describe sexual and sensual feelings regardless of their sexual orientation.
Feelings and practice

Adolescent sexuality isnt the same as adult sexuality. Young people are just about to start gathering sexual experience. The standards and ideals theyve been brought up with have to be tested in everyday life. Longing, infatuation and love from afar, touching, hugging, intercourse and steady relationships, fantasies, kisses and masturbation are all elements of this process. On the one hand, its important for young people to practise experiencing feelings of love on their own, but on the other its also important for them to practice being part of a couple and what to do in sexual encounters. Allowing them to decide whether they want to agree to or refuse sex and having the courage to justify their decisions to themselves are all important parts of becoming an adult. Even now, girls and boys are brought up differently in our society as regards sexuality. Girls are taught to romanticise their sexuality and desires, while boys are taught to sexualise their feelings of love and tenderness. No one approach is more correct than the other, but awareness of these differences can inspire the adult world to offer sexual enlightenment that transcends boundaries.
Sexuality as a resource
Sexuality is a potential resource in our lives, and its worth learning to deal with it and protecting ourselves against sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. One important aspect of work with sexuality and personal relationships involves emphasising the positive sides of sexuality; the desire, the pleasure, the closeness, the tenderness, being part of couple. When it comes down to it, your job is to give young people a basic knowledge of sexuality and to strengthen their self-esteem so that they can give sexuality the scope and expression they themselves want, when they want, and together with whoever they want. Sexual information for young people should cover what they should be careful about, rather than what they should be afraid of.
Gisela Helmius
Contraceptives actually used are the best kind

Whenever you provide information on contraceptives, its important to adapt your advice to suit the person or couple you see at the clinic. People attending the clinic have different needs. Some people want to know how to protect themselves against unwanted pregnancy, while others want to protect themselves against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections as well, so requiring a means of protection against both. At the moment, men can opt for condoms, which help prevent unwanted fatherhood and provide protection against sexually transmitted infections. Sterilisation is also an option, although this protection against unwanted fatherhood cant be reversed. One challenge facing anyone working with issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships involves talking about sexuality as a health factor, while at the same time indicating the downsides and risks involved with sexuality.
Using contraceptives
Its sometimes said that young people arent very good at using contraceptives, even though fairly cheap, safe contraceptives and good service in the form of youth clinics are available in Sweden. According to the survey entitled Sex in Sweden, young people are the most likely to use recommended contraceptives to avoid pregnancy. The Pill and condoms are the contraceptives most commonly used by young people. According to the survey entitled The sexual habits of young women (C Rogala and T Tydn, 1999), young people most commonly use condoms when losing their virginity, while the Pill was the most common type of contraceptive used the last time they had sex before the survey. Sexuality isnt a well-planned activity. Safety isnt the first thing on peoples minds, no matter whether theyre young or old, heterosexual or homosexual. Most of us dream of being able to throw caution to the winds when it comes to pleasure and freedom from responsibility. Being in love is probably one of the most dangerous
factors when it comes to taking sexual risks. The inclination to use contraceptives is also reduced if people take risks in life in general, or if their self-esteem is low. Alcohol and drugs are another factor affecting the use of contraceptives. Its good to give young people the opportunity to talk about the difficulties and the risk situations they themselves perceive in order to find out why they personally dont use contraceptives. Its also important to do this in a context in which the basic tone is set by opportunities and pleasure, not by problems and hazards. Giving young people time to consider their own attitudes and values by means of value clarification exercises, for example is one method thats proven to be useful. An obvious basis for these discussions is formed by knowledge on how the body works, STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) and contraceptives. Work on sexuality and personal relationships at many schools involves working together with the nearest youth clinic. Young people are also invited to the clinic on study visits. Access to good, inexpensive contraceptives is also a crucial factor in ensuring that theyre used. Many county councils in Sweden subsidise the cost of the Pill and condoms, and in some places young people are given these contraceptives completely free of charge.
Condoms
Since 1988, Lafa has been handing out free condoms to schools, youth clubs and youth clinics in the county of Stockholm. The idea with readily available condoms is to encourage young people to practise with them and use them regularly. The Youth Barometer, a Swedish survey constantly gauging the use of condoms among young people, has shown that young people aged 16 to 19 are better at using condoms than people aged 20 to 25. Condoms are the only contraceptives men can use (apart from sterilisation), and they provide the only way for young men to control when they become fathers. Condoms are also one of the few contraceptives without side-effects. However, there are certain problems with using condoms. Not only do young people have to have condoms to hand when required, but also they have to feel relatively secure when it comes to sex; they have to dare to take out a condom, dare to put it on and then adjust it to make sure it stays on and doesnt split. One good piece of advice
we can give is to encourage young men to practise putting on condoms themselves so that they feel more comfortable with how to use them.
The Pill
In 1994, Stockholm County Council introduced subsidies for the Pill for young people aged up to 23, keeping prices very low. A number of studies have indicated that theres a link between the Pill being provided at subsidised prices and a reduction in the abortion rate. There are lots of different kinds of Pill. In Sweden, young women have to get a prescription from a midwife or gynaecologist. Some women are dubious about taking the Pill due to concerns about side-effects. There are certain medical contraindications, so some women shouldnt take the Pill: there are a number of alternative contraceptives available to them. However, for many women the Pill is a good, safe contraceptive free of side-effects. A good advisory discussion, providing factual information on the advantages and disadvantages of the Pill, possible side-effects and specific advice, is a must if young women are to be happy with their choice of contraception.
The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill must be taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex; the earlier the better, but definitely within 72 hours if pregnancy is to be prevented.
Marta Hansson Bocangel

Midwife, Lafa
METHODS
Sexuality deciding on what words to use

Objective
To agree on what words to use for discussions on sexuality.
Youll need
Chairs arranged in a circle, felt-tip pens and large sheets of paper. If you like, you can divide the group into boys and girls. Ask the participants what they want to do.
Time
15 to 30 minutes, depending on the size of the group.
This is what you do

1. Split the participants into groups of five or six people. Every group then has to choose one person to make notes. 2. Give each group a large piece of paper, writing the title Sex on it. 3. Every group then has to note down words and phrases that have to do with sex. They can choose any words they like, anything they can think of. Give them five minutes to do this. 4. General discussion on how using these words feels. 5. The participants then work together to choose the words they want to use. 6. Create a new, combined list of words and phrases.

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Do guys and girls use sexual words to the same extent? Why is everyday language relating to sex often derogatory as far as women are concerned? Why are so many words referring to sex used as terms of abuse?
Reference AIDS: Working with young people Avert, 1994
METHODS
Talking about gender roles and the use of condoms

Objective
To increase awareness of the fact that how people talk about condoms varies depending on whether theyre male or female.
Youll need
A chalkboard or flipchart, paper and pens.
Time
45 minutes.
This is what you do

1. Ask the participants to split up into small groups of four or five people. These can be mixed groups or groups of just girls or boys. Give each group paper and pens. 2. Ask the girls to work with the title Reasons why girls find it difficult to talk about using condoms and instigate the use of condoms. The boys should work with the title Reasons why boys find it difficult to talk about using condoms and instigate the use of condoms. 3. The groups make lists of all the reasons they can think of. 4. Collect in all the papers and ask the groups to describe what they discussed. Write all the reasons they come up with on the chalkboard or flipchart.
5. Discuss the similarities and differences between the views of the boys and the girls. Also, encourage discussion on the chances of overcoming what they see as obstacles to using condoms and instigating the use of condoms.
Results
This gives participants the opportunity to think about why its sometimes difficult to say you want to use a condom. Both boys and girls will be made aware of the obstacles presented by traditional gender roles and the obstacles that both boys and girls have in common.
METHODS
Using fiction in work on sexuality and personal relationships

Literature on love and sexuality can provide a good starting point for discussion and debate. This model has been used by high school language teacher Elisabeth Svensson: she reads selections from novels and plays. Students then have to describe the type of love and sexuality dealt with in the texts.
Examples of questions for students

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Is the text about heterosexuality or homosexuality? Is the writer male or female? Was the text written by a young person, or an old one? Is this a modern text, or a classic? Was any contraception used? If so, what kind?
METHODS
Making a condom poster

Objective
To provide information about condoms and their use.
Youll need
Chairs arranged in a circle, a packet of condoms, a paper and felt-tip pens.
Time
60 minutes.
This is what you do

1. Explain to the students that they have to create a poster for young people, showing them how to use condoms. 2. Hand out paper and pens. 3. Demonstrate how to use a condom. 4. Every participant, either individually or in groups of three or four people, then has to design a poster for young people, showing them how to use condoms. 5. Put the posters on the wall, then discuss them.
METHODS
Value clarification exercise on the use of condoms four-corner exercise

Four-corner exercise
Read out the question and statements. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand in the corner that best fits in with their views. Ask each group of students assembled in the same corner to discuss the issue for a few minutes, and then anyone who wants to can justify their views. The aim isnt to come up with the right answer, but to show that there can be a lot of different views on the matter.
Question 1
You fall in love. You know all about the risks of sexually transmitted infections, but now you want to have sex. What do you do? 1. I buy some condoms. 2. I hope my partners got some condoms. 3. I ask whether my partners been tested for HIV. 4. Open corner.
Question 2
I reckon girls who refuse to have sex unless the bloke is wearing a condom are being: 1. Overcautious. 2. Completely unrealistic. 3. Brave. 4. Open corner.
METHODS
Value clarification exercise on the use of condoms standing in a line

Standing in a line
Read out the statements. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand at some point along an imaginary line where one end indicates that you agree and the other indicates that you dont. Then anyone who wants to can argue in favour of their views.
Suggested statements
1. Young people use condoms when they have sex. 2. As a rule, young people are too shy to talk about condoms. 3. The guy should be responsible for making sure he uses a condom. Also, give participants the opportunity to come up with statements of their own to be getting on with.
METHODS
Talking to young women about sexuality and personal relationships

There are a lot of potential topics to be discussed with girls and young women. Here, well give you a few examples of topics we think are important. But first, a few general thoughts. When working with girls, its important to respect their integrity. This means you have to try to be aware of what kinds of questions may be raised at a particular time. Furthermore, you mustnt entice girls to talk about certain topics if they dont want to. You have to feel your way forward. Its important to work out what you yourself think of these questions. It can also be a good idea to consider which questions may feel uncomfortable or alien to discuss with girls. You may need more knowledge, perhaps. You need to find out what views and perceptions exist. Its also good idea to have a forum in which you can talk to other people about how to approach various topics. Discussions with colleagues can result in new thoughts and methods and ideas for good books to try. Over the last two decades, women have been given more and more opportunities to affirm their sexuality. Because they have access to contraceptives and abortion, women in many countries can choose who they want to have sex with, who they want children with and who they want to live with. Sexual practice has changed more for women than for men. Its interesting to see how these changes have influenced views on womens sexuality. Will womens sexual experiences be regarded as being of value? Are there any words for sexually active women that have a positive connotation? Will young women be proud of themselves, their bodies and their sex organs? Girlie chat and working in groups of girls can be one way of persuading young women to see themselves as strong-willed and to get them to understand that its
worth looking after themselves, that they can influence their own lives. By creating a climate in which girls feel that their views are worth listening to, in which they can express their views and receive respect regardless of their social, cultural or religious background, sexual orientation, experiences, clothes and appearance the power of these girls can be liberated. Girls talk about love, boys talk about sex and both mean more or less the same thing. Feelings of infatuation and love, as well as feelings of lust and randiness, must be given room for manoeuvre. The same is also true of basic knowledge on issues such as anatomy, physiology and practical action. One good starting point when it comes to working with girls on sexuality and personal relationships is to view sexuality as an opportunity in their lives. They need knowledge, they need opportunities to talk to others to allow them to deal with their sexuality and develop it into something which enriches their lives.
Words
Girls dont need many words or terms for the physical sensations and sexual reactions of the female body. As providers of information on sexuality, what words do we use for the female sex organs? What do we call these organs in their entirety, or the individual parts? What words do the girls themselves use, and what values are implied by the various words? Maybe other terms could be used instead. One challenge faced by those of us working with sexuality and personal relationships is that we ourselves have to pay attention to what we say, we have to consider how we say things and reflect on the messages were putting forward, be it covertly or overtly. We should take a good look at ourselves and find out whether what were actually saying ties in with what we want to pass on to girls and young women as they make the transition into adulthood.
The body
The design of the body is absolutely ingenious, and it reflects our feelings. Knowing about the body and sex organs can make girls more aware of what feels good and what doesnt. For young women, being aware of the reactions of their own bodies
and not just those of their partners may help them learn what they want and dont want. Lafa publication A secret? is a book all about the female sex organs. It provides a good starting point for discussions on what the female sex organs look like and how they work. Adopting a positive view of the female sex organs, particularly their own, can help girls enhance their self-esteem. Great self-esteem can, in turn, lead to young women making sure that they protect themselves against sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy.
Periods
Talking to girls about periods provides an excellent opportunity to convey fascination and pride with regard to this physiological mechanism specific to women. Theres not so much secrecy surrounding periods nowadays, and yet girls may have questions and wonder about certain facts and feelings relating to them. Can periods be painful and embarrassing? Can you have sex when youve got your period? Why does the consistency of period blood change? Do different cultures have different views of periods? Ovulation is at the very heart of the menstrual cycle. Two weeks after ovulation, the period starts unless the egg has been fertilised. Falling pregnant isnt as easy once ovulation has taken place and before the bleeding starts. Vaginal discharge varies throughout the menstrual cycle, changing its smell, colour and consistency. This discharge is clear when ovulation is about to take place. Women can learn to recognise the patterns of their menstrual cycles by observing this discharge, although this isnt a particularly easy thing to do.
The hymen
A lot of girls wonder about the hymen, and misconceptions are common. Some girls worry about losing their virginity, while others wonder whether other people can tell if theyre virgins or not. The hymen is a section of mucous membrane located at the back of the entrance to the vagina. Its appearance varies. Its quite tight in some girls, while in others it stretches easily and is barely noticeable. Young women themselves can use a finger or two to feel for themselves what its like and stretch it if they like.
It may be particularly important to tell girls that the appearance of the hymen can vary greatly. They have to remember that you cant tell for sure whether a girl has had sex or not merely by looking at the hymen.
Sexuality
Sexuality can be manifested in many different ways, and there are actually lots of different kind of sexuality, both homosexual and heterosexual. Girls need to know how to control their fertility and where to go if they have any questions. Focusing merely on pregnancy and birth control automatically excludes lesbians. Therefore, lesbian girls often remain more invisible and receive less acknowledgement than homosexual boys. However, all people have one thing in common: were all born with the physiological manifestations of sexual desire and sexual expression lubrication, erection and orgasm. Values and meanings are then attached to these physiological mechanisms. One way of talking about sexuality with various cultures without having to know the viewpoint of each individual culture on sexuality involves emphasising this fundamental physiological similarity and working on the basis of this to encourage curiosity and a sense of wonderment that sexuality and views of female sexuality can vary so widely. Talking about sexuality and how its expressed can do away with majority misconceptions and so give girls additional strength. A study of sexual habits in Sweden carried out in 1996 found that the median age for losing virginity was 16.5 for women aged between 18 and 24. This means that at the age of 16.5, half the women in this age group have had experience of sexual intercourse. Thus it can be said that at the point where compulsory schooling ends and high school starts, about half of all girls have had sex and the other half havent. Losing your virginity and starting to have sex arent the same thing. Before actually losing your virginity, you can start to have sex by experiencing kissing, fondling, masturbation or oral sex. In encounters with adolescent girls, its valuable if adult women can conveybesides hard facts on sexuality the pleasure and delight thats all part and parcel of female sexuality. Girls need support to help them work out when to agree to sex. Its only
when theyve worked out how to agree to sex that theyll find out when they should refuse. Young women agree to sex on different terms depending on the standards, ideals and values theyve grown up with. And perhaps its as important to discuss and clarify the standards and ideas girls themselves have with regard to female sexuality as it is to discuss how girls see boys.
Protection against infection

Viruses and bacteria are easily transmitted between two people when they have sex. Condoms provide a protective barrier and reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections. You can also buy whats known as the Femidom, a kind of vaginal condom for women. Being in love, knowing one another well, being faithful or not having many sexual partners doesnt protect against sexually transmitted infections. These are avoided by using condoms. To persuade young women to use or demand the use of condoms when having sex, you need to talk about sexuality and also about feelings and thoughts relating to condoms. What are the advantages and disadvantages of condoms? Are these the same for girls and boys? What do people think of girls who carry condoms around with them? These are all examples of questions that may arise.
Protection against pregnancy

The Pill is the most common contraceptive used by young women. Modern variants of the Pill contain low doses of hormones. As things stand at present, hormonal contraceptives are available to women only. Does having access to a safe contraceptive that they themselves control give girls and women freedom, or does it gives them additional responsibility? Perhaps it just gives guys freedom? The Morning After Pill is a hormonal preparation that can be taken if the contraceptive method used has failed. It prevents pregnancy when taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex, although its most effective when started within 24 hours of unprotected sex.
Abortion
In Sweden, women are legally entitled to decide whether or not to terminate an unwanted pregnancy before the 18th week of pregnancy. Pregnancy tests are carried out free of charge at youth clinics, contraception centres and antenatal clinics. Pregnancy testing kits are available from pharmacies and other places where sanitary protection is available, and these give results in just a few minutes. The common test methods can tell you whether youre pregnant just a few days after the first missed period. Find out more about abortion in chapter 6, Ethics, under the Ethical issues method. This is one of many examples as to how you can proceed.
Masturbation and fantasy

Statistically, girls start to masturbate once theyve had experience of sex. Masturbation is one way for girls to get to know their bodies and their bodies sexual reactions. They can practise their ability to reach orgasm by getting to know their bodies and desires. There are lots of different ways to masturbate: using the fingers to fondle the clitoris and external sex organs, or inserting them in the vagina. Orgasm can be achieved using a pillow or vibrator there are lots of options. Sometimes just stimulating the nipples or having sexual fantasies is enough. When fantasising, young women can try out and investigate different kinds of feelings without risk to themselves, and imagine things that appeal to them but that they wouldnt want to do in reality. Most people masturbate throughout their lives, even when they have a partner. Granting girls permission to masturbate is one way of helping young women to become aware of themselves as sexual beings.
Pornography
Pornography is available to most people nowadays. We see it on TV and in video stores. But no matter what you think of pornography, its a fact of life for lots of young women nowadays. If youre going to talk to young women about pornography, you should watch a few of these films first. Its best to watch them on your own and try to reflect on your reactions without prejudice. We dont recommend that you show
porn films to groups of young people with a view to initiating a discussion. However, if you want to help promote an open discussion on pornography, you could always discuss the content at a factual level. Is there a storyline underlying the action? Who takes the initiative? Are these films any different to the stories you find in magazines for girls, and if so, how? Discussion will also give you the opportunity to talk about how people protect themselves in the films, what kinds of sex they go in for, and the risks involved in having vaginal and anal sex without a condom. Is the content of porn films anything like reality? Is it okay for girls to like pornography? These are a couple of other questions you could discuss.
Lena Mobrandt
BA, Lafa
Gisela Helmius
METHODS
Talking to young men about sexuality and personal relationships

All of us working with young men in their teens know that theyre loud, noisy and really make their presence felt in public. The same is true in school. Many studies show that boys are also given the most attention in the classroom, and that theyre viewed and listened to in completely different ways to girls. But when it comes to the intimate issues in life, sexuality and personal relationships, thats when young men go quiet. Of course the jokes come thick and fast among young men when they discuss issues relating to sexuality, but these discussions rarely or never focus on the anxiety and all the questions young men might have regarding their own sex and their gathering of sexual experience. Young men place these kinds of questions in a secret little compartment in their hearts and put the lid on them. Then on this lid they put a little note saying to be opened by my first serious love. Young men have lots of questions that they never ask. Our job as teachers and providers of information on sexuality is to answer the questions they have but refuse to ask. Here is a discussion model including a number of topics relating to sexuality and personal relationships that should be included when talking to young men.
Majority misconceptions
A lot of young people think theyre the only ones with no sexual experience: everybody else has had sex, and Im the only one who hasnt. To start off with, it may be a good idea to comment on this typical majority misconception. If, for example, youre talking to a group of boys aged 15 to 16, you can say with statistical certainty that most of you have never had sex: even if thats not true in this particular case, Ive found in my experience that it calms the group down and helps to blow any new majority misconceptions out of the water. Nobody has to pretend to be more experienced than his mates. Ive seen many times how adopting this kind of attitude has allowed young men to breathe a sigh of relief and relax.
Choose a word!
An effective, fun way to kick off discussions on sexuality and personal relationships is to take a few sexual words and then ask the group to decide which words they want to use. Write the words penis vagina sex masturbation on the board, then ask the students to make their own associations and suggest synonyms for these words. Youll probably see the words cock cunt fuck wank appear on the board. These straight-talking sexual words are often used by young men and are generally regarded as vulgar in society. At one time they were in popular use, but then they ended up being frowned upon when sophisticated Latin-based words became more commonplace. If possible, explain the specific origins of the words that come up. Ideally, you can then follow this exercise with a discussion on how, where and when its appropriate to use these words and, of course, when they shouldnt be used.
The male sex organ

Fantasies, thoughts and anxieties regarding lopsided erections and penis size, or what kind of pimples and spots have just broken out down below are of significant concern for young men, so you have to leave plenty of time for these. Little boys receive positive affirmation of their sex in lots of different ways in our culture. We use cute little words such as willy or winkie, allowing little boys to feel proud of their sex. However, as they mature sexually, a peculiar silence ensues. This is all because sperm is a sexually charged body fluid. Sometimes we can treat the onset of girls sexual maturity and periods as a hygiene issue, with all the information that requires, but we often find a confusing silence arising with regard to boys sexual maturity. Working on the basis of anatomical facts regarding the male sex, we can formulate a discussion which provides knowledge, affirms and permits identification options. This is a superb topic to deal with in a successful lesson on sexuality and personal relationships, or a series of them. Questions relating to the male sex arent just biological; theyre also very much linked to identity, desire and masculinity issues.
Masturbation
As far as young men are concerned, work on sexuality and personal relationships should actually focus on sexuality and isolation. Their experiences of sex are generally restricted to sex with themselves, or masturbation. Its important to talk about masturbation as a kind of sexuality in itself, with a value all of its own, and not as sexuality in anticipation of true sexuality. Most but not all young men have experience of masturbating, and its important to point this out too. We mustnt create new majority misconceptions. Some of the perspectives relating to the issue of masturbation involve talking about masturbation as a way of getting to know your own body and its sexual signals, and as an opportunity to get to know your fantasies. If you hold discussions on this issue, you ought to know that there still are a lot of myths and taboos surrounding it. You have to treat these ideas with respect by describing how weve progressed through a number of different stages over the years as regards our view of masturbation, from viewing it with guilt and shame to descriptions of masturbation as the greatest threat to young peoples health and wellbeing.
Homosexuality
Compared with how things were even say ten years ago, the issue of homosexuality has now become a lot easier to bring up, both in the population as a whole and also when talking to young men. More and more openly homosexual people, both celebrities and just ordinary people, have helped bring about a greater tolerance. Of course, some people, particularly certain young men, may still find this subject rather provocative, and so particular attention may need to be devoted to this. One approach involves allowing young men to freely discuss what they associate with the word homosexuality. You have to expect a few crude expressions to come up, together with strong feelings and prejudices. Its important, though, not to put the lid on the whole issue, but instead to allow even the most ridiculous ideas to surface. You could even mention a number of prejudices that you might have had yourself when you were young, but you also have to describe what it was that changed your mind. If, indeed, you have. I reckon its extremely important for adults to have carefully considered their own values and feelings regarding homosexuality.
This could well be achieved by discussing the issue with colleagues also working on sexuality and personal relationships. As regards methods of and options for discussing homosexuality, please see the section on homosexuality in chapter 9.
Using condoms
Young men are very aware that condoms are the obvious choice of contraceptive for men, and indeed the only choice to date. Teenage boys are the most prolific users of condoms thats a fact. In Sweden you rarely hear nowadays that using condoms is the same as eating sweets with the paper on or picking your nose wearing boxing gloves. In other words, young men basically have a positive view of condoms. Even so, its still a good idea to devote some time to discussing myths, fallacies and techniques, as well as how to talk about using condoms during casual sexual encounters.
Discussing condoms with young men may involve:

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Underpinning their self-esteem by telling them theyre the most prolific users of condoms. Listing various aspects of condom use, such as purchasing, how and where to best store condoms, the fear of losing your erection when putting a condom on, and how and when to bring up the subject of condoms in a new relationship or prior to a casual sexual encounter. Referring to condoms as the only way men can control their own fertility. Mentioning the fact that condoms are the only contraceptive to provide protection against sexually transmitted infections. Actually demonstrating condoms, opening the pack and using a dildo to show what putting a condom on is like.
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Talking about pornography

Talking about pornography with young men something which I feel has to be done requires an effective method; a method which doesnt bundle the discussion into
neat little packages of views, but which paves the way for a discussion which may form the basis for reinforcing the inner compass of young men. In spite of everything, this inner compass is the thing which is going to guide the young men and create the boundaries which may be required to counter the extreme manifestations of pornography. For instance, theres not a single ban anywhere in the world thatll ever stop pornography on the Internet. Dividing the issue into three parts provides one possible model you can use:
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Looking at pornography How, where, why, when and with whom you look at pornography is the first part. I think its important not to define just looking at pornography as something shameful: if you do that, the young men will clam up and thatll be the end of your discussion. What you have to do is make it clear that people, mostly men, do actually look at pornography quite a bit. Content What do people actually look at? What different kinds of pornography are there? How are male and female sexuality depicted in the films or pornography the boys have seen? You can use the content heading to enter into a more indepth discussion on how pornographic pictures of male and female sexuality are structured. Do they provide a representative, true view, for example, or are they just one-sided and stereotypical? Here, you can also start discussions on whether people are offended by and degraded in pornography, and if so, how. Production Do you reckon pornography bearing a hallmark of quality could ever be produced? Would it be totally impossible to come up with a form of production that takes into account the welfare of the actors involved? Under this heading, you can try to describe how pornographic pictures are produced. Whats the difference between a film made by the porn industry and a film shot in an ordinary couples bedroom?
Olle Waller
Sexual educator, Lafa
METHODS
Value clarification exercise pornography

Its sometimes hard to see where the boundary lies between eroticism and pornography. Surveys have shown that most young people, particularly boys, watch a lot of pornographic films. Its important to discuss this topic in an unprejudiced and unbiased way.
Standing in a line
Read out a statement. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand at some point along an imaginary line where one end indicates that you agree and the other indicates that you dont. Then ask each person to argue in favour of their views.
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Pornography should be banned completely. Pornography is a good way of getting information about sex. Pornography is degrading. Only guys look at pornography. Pornography gives young people the wrong idea about sexuality. Pornography is a turn-on. Its easy to differentiate between erotic and pornographic pictures.
Also, give participants the opportunity to come up with statements of their own to be getting on with.
METHODS
An overall view of people

This method is one way of introducing and discussing the topic of man, sexuality and society. Below are a background text and an exercise. All societies have their attitudes towards sexuality. There are ideas and concepts regarding sexuality, rules, standards and even laws on sexuality in all societies. Sexuality can mean a lot of things and involve different meanings for different people, groups and societies. Varying perceptions may be due to age, sex, culture and knowledge and the experiences of each and every individual. You cant take it for granted that everyone in a specific culture or society will share the same views on sexuality. Differences of opinion, standards and values can cut through different societies and cultures in an extremely complex pattern. But what is society, really? In purely general terms, it can be stated that society is a term relating to a number of different parts which together form a wholewhat we call society. Dividing society up into various levels is one way of working with the topic of man, sexuality and society.
Individuals
At individual level, you have individuals unique people with their own personal identities, people who have their own memories, experiences, ideas and values.
Groups
People dont live their lives alone: they interact with others friends, parents, work colleagues. Were all part of various kinds of groups, meeting up with different people and developing relationships with them. We affect and are affected in our relationships with others as regards standards and values, for example. We listen, and we
tell others. Groups may be both formal and more informal. School classes or groups of colleagues in a workplace are examples of formal groups. These are formal because they havent been formed voluntarily and fairly spontaneously: instead, an institution has gathered these people together in this precise location because they have a specific target to meet. Informal groups are made up of people whove more spontaneously got together, or groups of people who live together with no formal rules or clear objectives, such as groups of friends. The family is another significant group formation in society: this is both a formal and an informal group at one and the same time. The family is a more formalised group in the sense that its controlled in part by more formal rules and society. At informal group level, which rules are applicable and what standards and values exist may be fairly unclear. People outside of the group find them particularly unclear. It can be difficult to know what actually applies, but at the same time such rules are self-evident to group members. Rules and values are often unseen, but that doesnt mean theyre any the less important or obvious. Quite the reverse, in fact; they have a great part to play in society. The unseen rules and values of society may perhaps be the most important ones of all, the ones that exert the most control.
Institutions and organisations

These are kinds of groups too, but theyre also places where people have organised themselves, working with different objectives in various ways and in a more formal manner. Examples of institutions in society include schools, banks, Parliament and nursing and healthcare. At institution level, whats right or wrong, dangerous or safe, good or bad is quite obvious and rules are often drawn up specifying what you can and cant do, what you should and shouldnt do.
Society
Society is the common platform for all these levels. If we look at society as a whole, we see shared standards and values; theres a general, more universally moral
foundation in society thats more or less generally accepted. Many of these rules are laid down in law. Theyre surrounded by a legal system, and penalties can be expected if you breach them. It could be said that laws are societys most formal way of expressing its values. But here, too, we also find the standards and values that are more unseen because they havent been written down. However, we do observe these rules and often but by no means always accept them.
Ann-Sofie Bakshi
PhD, Communication Science/Sociology, Lafa.
For an exercise, see Sexuality and society on the next page.
METHODS
Sexuality and society

Objective
To make people aware of what it is about society that affects our perception of sexuality.
Youll need
Flipchart sheets and pens.
Time
Approx. 1.5 hours.
This is what you do

1. Prepare the exercise. Every group should have two flipchart sheets. Divide the first sheet into four sections headed HOME, SCHOOL, RELIGION / CHURCH and FRIENDS, and then divide the second sheet into sections headed FILMS and TV, NEWSPAPERS, ADVERTISING and LAWS. 2. Ask the participants to split up into groups of five or six people. 3. The groups then have to write down in each box what messages and standards relating to sexuality are suggested by the headings. (See the example on the next page.) 4. Then pin the flipchart sheets up on the wall so that everyone can read them. 5. Participants should then go back to their small groups and discuss whether theres anything theyd like to add to or remove from the boxes. Each of the small groups then talks about the various messages and standards. Point out
that all participants should speak in favour of their own views and not reject other peoples views. 6. Returning to the large group, discuss whether there are any similarities and differences between the perceptions of the small groups. Arriving at a common perception isnt necessary.

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What factors have the greatest and least influence on our perception of sexuality? How do the messages in the various boxes affect how we view couples or homosexuality, for example? Do the messages vary in different cultures? Are the messages in the HOME box, for example, different from different individuals? Which messages are aimed at everyone or aimed at just a few of us? How have the messages changed over time? What were the messages 50 or 100 years ago?
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Examples
Home
Youre too young Dont do that Use a condom
Films and TV
Sex provides love and happiness Sex is fun Sex is dangerous Youll be unhappy without a partner
Religion
No sex before marriage Be faithful
METHODS
Creating a magazine about sexuality and personal relationships

Students in Years 8 and 9 at a couple of schools in the Stockholm suburbs have put together magazines on the topic of sexuality and personal relationships. The following method is based on experience gained from Eriksdal School in Stockholm.
Objective
Students have to work on the basis of their own thoughts, questions and experience to investigate an area in the field of sexuality and personal relationships and report on their conclusions on the basis of their own situations. Another objective is for students to gain an insight into how a magazine is produced and how such work is planned. A magazine for young people will be the end result.
Preparations
Two classes work together with a group of teachers. The teachers discuss in advance how the work is to be organised and how information should be exchanged between the teachers. The students are divided into groups; small groups of three work best. Every class has a folder in which activities and study visits are entered, and messages and articles which the students may find useful can also be left here.
How the work is done

Different subjects can help out with work on the magazine; biology, arts, social studies, language and literature, RE. Both classes should be present when working on the magazine so that its obvious that theyre working together. The students are given a work schedule and divided into groups. The teachers review the various areas and make sure the end result is printable.
The students get together and work on their various areas, while the teachers act as group supervisors. The students work on the basis of the questions What should we be investigating? and What does the group want to find out about?. 12 to 15 hours a week are spent working on the magazine over a five-week period. The groups get together occasionally for collective activities and reviews of interview technique, layout and headlining. A professional journalist is invited to come and tell the students about his or her work, and various organisations such as a gay and lesbian organisation, other organisations in the same field or the youth clinic come to the school to tell the students about what they do and answer questions. Other collective activities may include watching and discussing a play or film, running value clarification exercises to find out about peoples viewpoints and discussing various topics. The small groups plan and carry out their own study visits and interviews independently.
Assessment
The assessment is important and you need to leave enough time for it. Assessment can be carried out in half-class groups. The groups then have to describe how they worked, explain what theyve learned and report on what can be done better next time. The teachers also need to get together to assess their work.
Result
The magazine can be printed and distributed to students own school friends, as well as to other schools and youth clinics.
METHODS
Words to use
This exercise aims to express feelings in words and thoughts, and to discuss these words with others.
This is what you do

1. Ask the participants to write down four words that spring to mind on a certain topic. Suggested topics are:
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Sex. Love. Condoms/use of condoms. Genitals (NB: ask the boys to write about the male sex organs, and the girls to write about the female sex organs). Compliments that you can give a friend or someone else.
2. Ask the participants to split up into pairs. They have to tell one another what words they chose. 3. After a short time, ask the participants to share their words with one another, so each person has eight words. If they chose the same words, they should write these down anyway or put a dash by their own. This will allow everyone to see which words are common when it comes to love and sex. 4. Repeat this procedure once or twice, depending on the mood. This means that every participant will have 16 or 32 words on their sheets. Of course, you can let them switch partners more than once if theyre having fun, or if the topic is suitable.
5. There are various ways to end the exercise:

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The participants can form groups of three or four people to jointly discuss the words theyve come up with, e.g. which words have positive or negative connotations. You can end the exercise by asking the participants to write a short story, a poem or lyrics to a song using the words chosen. Alternatively, you could ask them to create a collage made up of pictures and the words chosen. You can ask the group to determine word frequency; which words are the most common, have the girls and the boys chosen different words, which words are the most popular? Once the group discussions are over, you can end the exercise with a reflective discussion with the entire group of participants.
METHODS
What if my mate working with homosexuality in schools

Working with homosexuality in schools
In assessments of education on sexuality and personal relationships provided by the Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights, a lot of young people emphasise the value of being able to meet homosexual people and ask them questions. It was good we could ask them questions, and the ones we met here were nice people and I thought it was really interesting to meet a lesbian. You only ever hear about gays were just a couple of views put forward. Meeting up with people from a gay and lesbian organisation is a good way of playing down feelings and thoughts on homosexuality: quite a few of the comments in the assessments bear witness to that, such as I used to think gays wore make-up and womens clothes. My minds been set at rest. Meeting homosexual people is better if the class is prepared beforehand. Teachers, student welfare staff and other people students know can play down the topic of homosexuality by discussing it in a relaxed fashion. Teachers and student welfare staff often report that boys in particular react fiercely when the topic is brought up. This is yet another argument in favour of discussing and airing the topic of homosexuality. Its a hard topic for many people to discuss and requires lengthy exposure. Some students may have particular difficulty discussing sexuality and personal relationships, and homosexuality in particular. Its also important to allow the most vociferous of the boys to shout as much as they need to. Their disparaging views on gays is mostly a signal to other members of the group, particularly the boys, indicating at least Im not a fucking poof. Talking about homosexuality can be easier once theyve been allowed to make this clear.
A potential model on the topic of homosexuality, lengthy exposure

1. Preparation of a meeting with people from a gay and lesbian organisation. A number of films are currently available. 2. Information visit. A couple of young homosexual people, ideally one male and one female, come to talk to the class. Alternatively, the class can pay a visit to the organisation. 3. Follow-up, assessment. 4. Ongoing inclusion of discussions on homosexuality in various subjects.
1. Preparation
a) You can easily prepare the way by reading the group a section from a novel. Its important to choose one text about women and one text about men. The students will react to these and want to ask questions and hold discussions. Ideally, start off by discussing the issue in pairs or small groups. b) Another method involves handing out a letter like this one:
Hi! Ive been meaning to talk to you about something for a long time now, but its hard to know where to start. You might not want to be my friend anymore. I dont know whether Im normal or whether Im a lesbian. I feel as though Im different somehow, and Ive never been in love with a guy for real. I feel so confused, and theres nobody I can talk to. Dont say anything to anyone, and make sure you destroy this lettter. What should I do? Sara
Hand out two versions of this letter. In the second version, change a lesbian to gay and guy to girl, then change the name at the bottom of letter to Toby instead of Sara. Then ask the students to pretend they received this letter from a close friend and give them the task of writing a reply. They can reply to version one or two, regardless of whether theyre male or female. All the answers, all types of answers, should then be read out in class and discussed. You can also create a written list of the replies in class.
c) Another method involves handing out a few statements on homosexuality such as the ones below. Ask the students to discuss the statements and make up their minds about them in pairs or small groups. 1. I dont know any homosexual people personally. 2. The number of homosexual people seems to be on the increase nowadays. 3. There are more gays than lesbians. 4. A lot of homosexual people have got children. 5. In homosexual relationships, one partner tries to play the masculine role while the other plays the feminine. 6. There are no homosexuals in the world of sport. 7. Gays generally practise anal sex.
8. Over the last few years, some countries have introduced legislation allowing homosexual marriages. 9. Given the reactions of other people, its easier for two women to live together in a homosexual relationship than its ever been for two men. 10. As a group, gays have been hardest hit by HIV and AIDS in our country. 11. There are still countries in the world that prohibit homosexual contact by law. The following questions may also be useful to consider:
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Is this statement true, partly true or completely wrong? Is this what I think? Have I heard other people sharing this opinion? Where does this opinion come from?
A group of students can also prepare questions in advance for the homosexuals wholl be coming to talk to the class. If the questions are combined, the group can discuss whether there are any values implicit in them, and if so, which ones.
Another idea involves getting hold of a free magazine for gays, lesbians and bisexual people and letting the students read it in advance, giving them the opportunity to react to and discuss it.
2. Meeting homosexuals If you have a number of parallel groups requiring information, it may be practical to ask the peer educators from a gay and lesbian organisation to present a brief introduction to everyone, lasting 15 to 20 minutes. These officers can then spend 40 to 60 minutes with every class.
The class can be divided in two, making it easier to get the discussion under way and ask questions. Half the group should spend time with the male officer, and the other half with the female. A lot of people think the students should be divided into boys and girls, while others prefer mixed groups.
3. Follow-up Its important for teachers and student welfare staff whove helped to provide information on homosexuality to also follow this up with students. Written assessment is a simple way of doing this. If all the assessments are compiled into a single report, everyone can see what their friends thought and the findings can be discussed in class. A lot of the suggestions for preparations could also be used at this stage. Students can be given the task of looking for articles on homosexuals and bisexual people in newspapers and magazines and cutting them out to stick on the wall. 4. Ongoing inclusion of discussions on homosexuality in various subjects Here, I want to point out that its essential to draw young peoples attention to references to homosexuality, no matter where theyre made. Homosexuality can be discussed in a lot of subject areas; language classes (literature and authors), history, philosophy, psychology, religion, social studies and why not? social studies in various languages. They could look at the concentration of homosexual culture in certain parts of the USA such as New York and California, or take a look at the presence of large homosexual communities in Berlin and Madrid.
Discussing homosexuality doesnt require lengthy comment as soon as the topic is brought up in some context or other. Its often sufficient to just mention homosexuality
and show that you perceive it to be a natural part of life. One objective for this information is for adults to include, not exclude, homosexuality and bisexuality. Perhaps this could be expressed in reverse, meaning that no one should ever assume that everyone is heterosexual. This is important, not least for students who are pondering their own homosexuality and need support when it comes to accepting themselves.
Kjell Rindar
Teacher
METHODS
Value clarification exercise homosexuality

Standing in a line
Read out a statement. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand at some point along an imaginary line where one end indicates that you agree and the other indicates that you dont. Then ask each person to argue in favour of their views.
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A Civil Partnership Act for homosexual people is a good thing. Homosexual people fall in love just like heterosexual people do. Homosexuality is just about sex. As many girls as boys are homosexual. Homosexual people should be allowed to adopt.
Also, give participants the opportunity to come up with statements of their own to be getting on with.
Ethics
Ethics 121
Ethics
What are ethics?
Ethics are all about whats right or wrong, whats good or bad, and about how we should act as human beings. The sort of person you are and want to be also determines which values are important. Ethics as a subject is studied within a branch of philosophy known as moral philosophy. Moral is a Latin word with the same meaning in terms of content as the Greek-derived word ethic.
Whats important about ethics?

Being willing and able to make up your mind on things by critically reflecting on your own actions, and both your values and those of others is necessary if were to develop and mature as people. Socrates (470 399 BC) expounded the critical approach. He claimed that its impossible to uncritically take over the values of another person. You have to make your own mind up about things. Its important for us to be controlled by an inner compass. But we also have to be prepared to review our opinions as ethics arent simply determined once and for all, with no modifications. New knowledge, technologies and methods influence us as our society changes. Its pleasing to note an increasing interest in ethical issues, as demonstrated by the fact that more and more people are studying and discussing such issues. This is surely on account of a sense that something is missing. Old value systems havent yet been replaced by new ones; technological development has progressed at a phenomenal rate, injustices in the world are clear for everyone to see, and the conditions that govern the lives of humans and animals are under serious threat. Even though we have differing religious backgrounds, involvement in ethical issues can become a uniting force which aids and brings us together in our collective attempt to bring about a fair, humanistic and democratic society based on respect for human beings and nature.
122 Ethics
Facts and values

Arriving at an ethical standpoint means we have to have factual information before we express our views. This is easier said than done, though. We express our views every single day, but we dont always base these statements on how things actually are. Its easier to just say what we think rather than finding out the actual facts of the matter. Homosexuals are the only ones spreading the HIV virus is a statement which is hardly founded on fact but expresses a clear view. Women use abortion as a form of contraception is another statement not based on fact. Life starts at the time of conception is a statement encompassing a number of different facts, depending on how you look at it. We have a duty to find out the facts of the matter in order to sort out the subjective opinions of ourselves and others. On the other hand, its not true that youll always know what should be done if you have the facts to hand. This situation presupposes that views are shared, and thats not really possible until theyve been put into words and made visible. Views need to be emphasised and discussed so that each and every one of us can come up with tenable ethical opinions on specific issues. In turn, we can then respect other people even though theyve arrived at opinions which differ from our own. Communication is the tool of ethics. Unfortunately, we start moralising far too easily; that is to say, expressing disparaging views of people whose views differ from our own. This doesnt lead to ethical majority; instead, it consolidates prejudices and reinforces misconceptions.
Ethics in work on sexuality and personal relationships

Ethical issues have a natural place in work on sexuality and personal relationships. For example, issues such as infidelity and love, consideration for other people, attitudes towards abortion, contraceptives, sexually transmitted infections and HIV/AIDS should all be dealt with.
Barbro Gustafsson
RN, DipNEd, BA
The method outlined on the next page shows one way of approaching ethical issues.
Ethics 123
METHODS
Ethical issues
A few questions can provide a good starting point for a discussion on ethics. The following questions are examples of ethical issues that may be interesting to discuss.
Suggested questions
Question 1 Most of us have opinions on abortion. This is a sensitive issue as it deals with life and death. Most people can agree that abortion has a profound effect on any woman and her unborn baby. But abortion also affects other people. Who might these be? Could the views of these people carry sufficient weight to persuade a woman to continue a pregnancy even though she personally doesnt want the child? An abortion would be the best solution for her. Can the views of others lead to the woman undergoing an abortion even though all she wants to do is keep the baby? Question 2 In your view, is there any kind of being that its always wrong to kill? If so, what are the characteristics of this being? What are your views on unborn babies in this context? Question 3 Charlie is 20 years old and HIV-positive. Now Charlies met a new partner, but hes terrified hell lose that partner if he reveals the truth. At the same time, Charlie has been on his own for long time and hes in love. What you think Charlie should do? Question 4 Jenny, aged 18, is on her first trip abroad. She knew before she left that she had no intention of falling in love or having sex with anyone because shes got a boyfriend at home. Even so, Jenny met a charming man and fell for him. They had sex once. Jenny was on the Pill, but the guy didnt use a condom. Now Jennys back home and her
124 Ethics
holiday adventure seems a long way off, but now shes worried that she might have contracted a sexually transmitted infection. It stings when she pees. She doesnt want to tell her boyfriend what happened on the trip, and she doesnt want to talk to her parents either because she thinks theyll worry and get annoyed. What should Jenny do?
Barbro Gustafsson
RN, DipNEd, BA
Ethics 125
METHODS
Value clarification exercise infidelity

Suggested question What would you do if your partner had been unfaithful to you?
1. Finish with him/her. 2. Forgive him/her. 3. Be unfaithful myself. 4. Open corner. Read out the question. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand in the corner that fits in with their views. Anybody with different views should go and stand in the fourth corner. Ask everyone assembled in the same corner to discuss the issue for a few minutes, and then justify their views and argue in favour of them. The aim of this value clarification exercise isnt to come up with the right answers, but to show that there are a lot of different views on the matter.
126 Ethics
METHODS
HIV-positive student at school two value clarification exercises

Background
Theres a rumour going round among parents and staff at school that a student at the school is HIV-positive. Nobody knows for certain, but rumour has it that the person in question is a boy called Simon. Simon himself seems unaware of the rumour. Simon has lots of friends and has never particularly stood out from the crowd. Simon was ill for quite a long time of the start of the school year, and it seems this is what gave rise to the rumour. Simon is quite good at sports and plays football in his free time.
Provide some background and ask the question. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand in the corner that best fits in with their views. Students assembled in the same corner should discuss the issue for a few minutes, and then anyone who wants to can justify their views and argue in favour of the them. The aim isnt to come up with the right answer, but to show that there can be a lot of different views on the matter.
Question 1 The parent of a friend asks you to find out whether Simon, whos in your class, is HIV-positive. What do you do?
1. Not bother. 2. Try to find out whether its true. 3. Tell the parent that its none of his/her business. 4. Open corner.
Ethics 127
Question 2 It turns out the rumour is true. Simon is HIV-positive. What should you do at school?
1. Carry on as normal. 2. Tell everybody at school that Simon has HIV. 3. Make sure that Simon doesnt have to keep going to school, and arrange instead for him to be taught at home. 4. Open corner.

I
Should the school governors try to find out whether Simon is HIV-positive once the rumours reach their ears? Why should they do that, and for whom? How would you react to this kind of rumour? How would your friends react?
I I I
Information for the supervisor

How was Simon infected with HIV? The students may be wondering how this came about. Discuss how people can be infected with HIV. Whats the most likely reason as to why Simon was infected? Think about who Simon is, and ask the class to work together to come up with a picture of him. Where does he come from? Whats happened to him previously?
128 Ethics
METHODS
Value clarification exercise YES or NO?

In this exercise, participants should make up their minds about an issue and answer yes or no to a problem. This is then followed by a discussion.
This is what you do

I I
Give all participants a piece of paper. Tell them youll be asking them a question in a minute that they have to answer yes or no to, and that these answers will remain anonymous. Point out that their answers should be completely honest. Give them the problem. The students should write yes or no on their pieces of paper. Collect in the pieces of paper. Count the number of yes and no answers. Ask the group to guess how many yes and no answers were noted. Is there any difference between the guesses and the actual results? What do the students think this is down to? Discussion. At this point, you can elaborate on the answers and allow further aspects of the problem to emerge.
I I I I I
This exercise usually works best if you ask the participants to decide on their views on a number of problems and discuss them all at once. However, you must discuss one problem at a time.
Ethics 129
Examples of problems
Jacob and Matt are best friends. Jacob is seeing Sara, but Matts been in love with her in secret for a long time now. Matt realises after a while that Sara is quite keen on him. One day, she walks home with Matt after school. When they get to Matts house, he invites her in and they chat and drink tea. They have a really good time together and the atmosphere becomes charged. After a while Sara asks Matt if she can kiss him. What should Matts answer be: YES or NO?
Alternative () the atmosphere becomes charged. They kiss passionately and intensely. Jacob starts to suspect that somethings happened between Matt and Sara. He asks Matt whether he and Sara have been seeing each other. Should Matt tell the truth? YES or NO?
Imagine youre in a relationship. Your boyfriend/girlfriend has been unfaithful, but youre unaware of this. Would you prefer to know? YES or NO? A close friend of yours is in a relationship. You know his/her partner has been unfaithful. Would you tell your friend? YES or NO? Youre in love with a guy/girl. One evening, when youre out with your friends, they start saying nasty things about him/her. Do you protest and tell them you dont agree? YES or NO? Youre sitting and chatting with your friends. They start to say nasty things about a guy/girl. The day before, that particular guy/girl asked you out and you agreed to go. Do you tell your friends youre seeing him/her? YES or NO? A friend tells you in confidence that he/shes homosexual. Youre standing round chatting with a group of your mates at breaktime and they start to say nasty things about homosexual people. When you join in with a negative comment of your own, you see your homosexual friend walking past and realise that he/shes heard what you said. What do you do? Do you talk to him/her afterwards? YES or NO?
130 Ethics
A friend tells you in confidence that he/shes homosexual. Youre standing round with your mates at breaktime when the conversation turns to homosexuality. The leaders of the group start to say nasty things about homosexual people, and they gain the support of the others. Your homosexual friend says nothing. Do you disagree with the others? YES or NO?
Reference Strmmar Libris,1994
Ethics 131
METHODS
Noticeboard
Noticeboard is a method for visually and generally discussing an issue or problem. This method allows everyone to express their views.
Advantages
I I I I I I
Everyone is allowed to have their say by means of written notes. This is a creative way of working. Indicates frequency, views and groupings. Allows participants to regroup. The words arent rubbed out and can be left on the board for some time. Provides ideas for further work.
This is what you do

You describe an issue and then ask participants to write down their views in brief, clearly and in large letters on for example three Post-it type note sheets. If you give everybody similar felt-tip pens, you can keep the exercise anonymous. These Post-it notes are then put up on a wall or noticeboard. You then help the participants to group the notes into subject areas and then analyse and discuss these.
Examples of issues
1. Your best friend tells you shes pregnant but she doesnt want to keep the baby. What do you do? 2. Your mate tells you his partners HIV-positive, and now hes worried hell have been infected himself. What can he do?
132 Ethics
The downside of sexuality
The downside of sexuality 135
HIV and other sexually transmitted infections from the perspective of sexuality and personal relationships
Talking about sexually transmitted infections
Integrating the subject of sexually transmitted infections into discussions on sexuality and personal relationships involves selecting a starting point and identifying the focus of work in this field. Viewing sexuality as one of the strongest human driving forces and as a potential positive resource in all our lives should be the starting point chosen. This approach is based on an essentially positive view of sexuality and its forms of expression. This discussion should concentrate on the issues which young people think are important. Its important to give people the facts about HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, and to make it quite clear that condoms are the only way of protecting yourself. If youd like up-to-date facts and information, ask an expert. Find out also where young people can go to if they need advice, testing and treatment. Below are some descriptions of the most common sexually transmitted infections.
Chlamydia
Chlamydia is caused by bacteria, and the infection is passed on by various kinds of unprotected sex, both vaginal (where the penis is inserted in the vagina) and anal. If left untreated, chlamydia is particularly dangerous for girls as it can cause inflammation in the Fallopian tubes, which can lead to sterility girls affected may not be able to have children. Chlamydia in males can cause inflammation of the epididymis, which can also lead to sterility in certain cases. Chlamydia can be difficult to detect as it often doesnt cause any symptoms.
136 The downside of sexuality
Gonorrhoea
Gonorrhoea is caused by bacteria known as gonococci. Gonorrhoea is passed on in the same way as chlamydia, i.e. by various kinds of sex (vaginal, anal and oral). Gonorrhoea can cause inflammation of the Fallopian tubes in women and inflammation of the epididymis in men, both of which carry a possible risk of sterility. Typical symptoms are a copious, yellowish-white or greeny-yellow discharge from the urethra (or the rectum after anal sex) and stinging when you pass water. As with chlamydia, you can also get an eye infection. A lot of people have absolutely no symptoms when they have gonorrhoea, but of course they can still pass on the infection to others.
Syphilis
Syphilis is caused by bacteria. The infection is mainly passed on during unprotected sex, but it can also be passed on during other intimate contact. Syphilis can be passed on from mother to baby during pregnancy. In a worst-case scenario, syphilis can lead to heart and brain damage if left untreated. This is why its very important to get tested straight away if you think you might have caught syphilis. A small sore often forms a few weeks after infection with syphilis at the site where the bacteria entered, such as under the foreskin, on the labia or in the vagina.
HIV
HIV is a serious, incurable infection. It slowly breaks down the bodys immune system until the sufferer has so little resistance to infection that they fall prey to a range of serious diseases. HIV is the actual virus that attacks the white blood cells. AIDS is the term for the diseases that break out once the immune system has been greatly weakened. HIV is passed on in the blood, sperm and vaginal secretions. Drug addicts can contract the virus by sharing needles this is an example of infection via the blood. HIV can also be passed on from mother to baby during delivery. However, HIV is most commonly spread by unprotected sex, both vaginal and anal. People infected with HIV sometimes suffer an illness two to four weeks after being infected. In this instance, the symptoms may include fever, a sore throat and tender, swollen lymph nodes in the throat or armpits.
Abortion
Women have always terminated pregnancies and undergone abortion, no matter where they are in the world. Abortions can be carried out at the patients own request as in Sweden or be regarded as a criminal act depending on the legislation in force in the country in question. But regardless of legal decisions, religion or political power, abortion has been one birth control method. In other words: abortion is part of the lives and experience of women.
Abortion worldwide
Views on abortion and opinions of women who want abortions differ in various parts of the world. In Europe, its now possible to legally terminate a pregnancy on certain conditions except in Ireland, where abortion is still banned. Abortion is a criminal act in most Latin American countries and certain countries in Africa, which means that both the woman in question and the person who carried out the abortion can be charged with a crime. Its estimated that 25 per cent of all women in the world live in countries where abortion is banned. Possible exceptions may be made to save the life of a woman or if pregnancy occurred following a rape. On the other hand, in Far Asia, China and Vietnam, abortion is a social obligation in order to meet these countries targets for reduced population growth. Abortion continues to be a highly contentious issue in the international arena. 100 000 women die each year due to complications after risky abortions, and 99 per cent of these deaths occur in poor countries.
Contraception
Contraceptive advice services underwent major expansion within the scope of the maternity healthcare system when the Abortion Act was passed by the Swedish Parliament. In addition, special youth clinics were set up to give teenagers access to contraceptives and professional advice. Teaching on sexuality and personal relationships was intensified in schools, and study visits to youth clinics became a key feature of this work. The basic idea was, and continues to be, that abortion must be viewed as an emergency solution to a difficult situation, that children born
must be made welcome, and that society should assume responsibility for ensuring that contraceptives are available. Preventing unwanted pregnancy is considered to be an important social task. It is also important to make sure that any woman seeking an abortion is treated with dignity by healthcare staff.
Barbro Gustafsson
RN, DipNEd, BA
METHODS
Prejudices with regard to HIV

Objective
To discuss prejudices with regard to HIV.
Youll need
Felt-tip pens and some large sheets of paper.
Time
40 minutes.
This is what you do

1. The participants split up into groups of four or five people. Hand out a large piece of paper and a few felt-tip pens to every group. 2. Half of the groups then write Prejudices on their sheets, while the others write HIV/AIDS. 3. The groups then come up with associations on the basis of their headings and write down as many words as possible. 4. Get all the participants back together again. Ask the groups given the Prejudices heading to run through the words they wrote down so that everyone can see them. Then the groups given the HIV/AIDS heading do the same. 5. Encourage the participants to look for similarities and differences between the two lists.
Appropriate questions for discussion

I I I I I
When you hear the term HIV/AIDS, what you think about? What prejudices are there against various minority groups? How are prejudices influenced by the media? Which groups run the greatest risk of being affected by prejudices? What should you do to counter prejudices against vulnerable groups?
METHODS
Value clarification exercise HIV

Read out the statements. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand in the corner that fits in with their views. The students then have to argue in favour of their views. The open corner is available to anybody who doesnt want to express a view on any of the statements or who has a different view.
1. I can protect myself against HIV. 2. HIV isnt my problem. 3. HIV only affects certain groups of people. 4. Open corner.
METHODS
Value clarification exercise unwanted pregnancy

Read out the statements. Then ask the students to think for a short time and go and stand in the corner that fits in with their views. The students then have to argue in favour of their views. The open corner is available to anybody who doesnt want to express a view on any of the statements or who has a different view.
1. I can protect myself and my partner against unwanted pregnancy. 2. Condoms are the only safe way of protecting against unwanted pregnancy. 3. The Pill and condoms are a good combination for protecting against unwanted pregnancy. 4. Open corner.
METHODS
Letterbox
This is a simple method for working with issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships and is used at a number of youth clubs . A letterbox for questions is set up in which the young people can anonymously place their questions on sexuality and personal relationships. These questions will then be answered at a meeting once a week, for example. This can be done in various ways: 1. One or two leaders, ideally one male and one female, run through the questions in advance and answer them verbally one by one at the meeting. 2. The midwife from the youth clinic visits and answers questions. 3. A couple of the older teenagers are given the task of looking for answers to questions and then answering them. All the questions must be treated seriously and answered seriously, including the ones that were obviously written to provoke. After a couple of sessions, youll usually find that more or less all of the questions in the letterbox are serious and the initial silliness will stop.
Value clarification exercises
10
148 Value clarification exercises
I I I
Justify their opinions. Listen to others and be listened to. Reflect on and revise their attitudes.
Value clarification exercises are all about life and the choices and conflicts we all encounter. Participants are faced with questions that they might never have discussed in a group context before. Each and every one of them is made aware of their own thoughts and feelings and is made part to the thoughts and feelings of others. These exercises also give participants the opportunity to revise their attitudes and values and ensure greater compatibility between words and deeds. Participants will get to know new sides of one another, and the changes in discussion outlines will allow the group to develop positively, becoming more democratic.
Additional advantages of the method

I I I
It involves everyone straight away. It provides practical training on how to stand up for your views. Students often enjoy it.
Dr John Steinberg introduced value clarification methodology which originally came from the USA to Sweden in the 1970s. Here is a presentation of the seven most common value clarification exercises.
Value clarification exercises 149
VALUE CLARIFICATION EXERCISES
The Hot Seat

Objective
I
To give participants the opportunity to start practising how to stand up for their views. To focus concentration and inspire interest in the topic you intend to discuss.
The participants sit on chairs arranged in a circle. The reader has prepared six or seven statements on a relevant topic, with a few harmless introductory statements: A life without computers would be naff; Itd be fun to study abroad for a year; Id like to learn how to snowboard. The leader reads out one statement at a time. Dont use any more than six or seven statements in each session. Anybody who agrees with the statement stands up, walks across the room and switches chairs with somebody else who obviously shares this view. Anybody who doesnt agree with the statement stays sitting, as does anybody who cant make up their mind. After each statement, two or three people are asked to say why they stood up or stayed sitting when the statement was read out. No explanation has to be given for the introductory, more fun statements. The leader gives everyone a chance to have their say. The session shouldnt turn into a discussion between two people as everyone else will get fed up with it. The leader remains neutral and attempts to put forward as many different aspects of the problem as possible. Remember that there are no set answers when it comes to value clarification exercises: opinions and attitudes are what count.
Examples of statements
I I I I
Theres less and less love in the world. Its better to be unhappy in love than not to be in love at all. You can be in love with an idol. Having a bad reputation among girls is worse than having a bad reputation among boys. Finishing with somebody is harder than asking them out in the first place. Jealousy is a sign of love. Sex between friends is okay. The Pill should be free. Most guys respect girls. Its easier to sleep with someone when youve had a few.
I I I I I I
Reflection
The leader reads out the same statements once again and asks the members of the group to have a brief discussion two or three minutes long with the person next to them, saying whether theyve been influenced by the exercise and whether they think differently now. This shouldnt be done within the group as a whole as theres a great risk of a discussion arising in which participants try to get their friends to change their views.
Yes No Maybe
To vary things a little, the statements from the Hot Seat exercise can be used in a Yes No Maybe exercise instead. Three sheets of paper bearing the words Yes, No and Maybe are placed on the floor. Participants are encouraged to go over to the sheet of paper that ties in with their views and to chat for a short time with two or three of the people who share their opinions before the reader asks a few people from all three groups to explain their standpoints to everyone else in the group. The leader should make sure that as many people as possible are given the opportunity to have their say. The members of the group should leave their sheets of paper and walk around the room between statements, otherwise theres a tendency for people to stay with the same sheet. The Yes No Maybe exercise pushes all the members of the group to talk to one another, which is something the Hot Seat exercise doesnt do.
Examples of statements
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Girls are more interested in relationships than guys are. Its easier to be a lesbian than a gay bloke in groups of young people. Its important for your parents to like the person youre seeing. If youre in a relationship at the age of 15, you should be allowed to sleep together at one anothers homes. Its good that girls carry their own condoms. If a guy hits his girlfriend, she should finish with him straight away. Porn films can provide good information on sex. Schools provide good sex education.
I I I I
I I I I
Homosexuals are oppressed. You should wait until youre 18 before having sex. Im worried about HIV/AIDS. Its best to have a relationship with a guy/girl from the same culture as yourself.
Reflection
The leader reads out the same statements once again and asks the members of the group to have a brief discussio n two or three minutes long with the person next to them, saying whether theyve been influenced by the exercise and whether they think differently now. This shouldnt be done within the group as a whole as theres a great risk of a discussion arising in which participants try to get their friends to change their views.
Four-corner exercise Dilemma

Four-corner exercises are based on an issue or dilemma which participants are asked to adopt a standpoint on. These should be written in the third person so as to protect the integrity of participants. The answers are represented by the four corners of the room, and the fourth corner should always be left open for individual suggestions. The reader reads out a question to the group, e.g.: Josh has had unprotected sex with a number of people when holidaying with his mate Adam. Josh has a partner at home. Josh has no intention of confessing to his partner, even though Adam tries to persuade him to. What do you think Adam should do? 1. Tell Josh that hell spill the beans to his partner unless Josh confesses off his own bat. 2. Tell all to Joshs partner. 3. Avoid Josh. Spend time with other people. 4. Open corner for individual suggestions. The leader gives an account of each view by walking over to each corner him/herself and describing it. The leader must be able to speak warmly in support of each corner. There mustnt be a dunces corner. Once again, remaining neutral in respect of the various alternatives is important. Repeat the answers once more, then give the participants time to think. Then ask them to go and stand in the corner that ties in with their own views. Point out that you know theres not much time for thinking, but that they can change their minds once theyve listened to other peoples arguments. There are two ways of leading the exercise once everyones made their way over to the corner that ties in with their views.
1. First of all, the people in each corner should chat in smaller groups of two or three people before presenting their explanations to the entire group. This is good as it allows participants to practise arguing with their peers in small groups. 2. The leader starts asking questions straight away by asking a few representatives from the respective corners to explain their views. This method is best used in groups lacking in concentration, as it guarantees more organisation. If anyone is left standing alone in a corner, the leader should go over and lead the exercise from that corner. Attention should also be called to that person, saying that he or she has been really brave in going over to a corner on their own. This is a very vulnerable position. Its important for the rest of the group to listen when the representatives of the respective corners present their views. The idea is for participants to argue in favour of the views expressed in their own particular corners, not to attack others because their views differ. The fourth, open corner is often home to lots of different ideas. Let everyone who wants to have their say.
Reflection
Once the corners have been presented, everyone goes and sits down again and you can round off with a closing discussion on the issue. The idea isnt to get everyone to agree on one view as the best solution, but to show them that they have to keep an open mind and realise that we all have different views. You could also implement the reflection element of the Hot Seat exercise: The leader reads out the same statements once again and asks the members of the group to have a brief discussion two or three minutes long with the person next to them, saying whether theyve been influenced by the exercise and whether they think differently now. This shouldnt be done within the group as a whole as theres a great risk of a discussion arising in which participants try to get their friends to change their views.
Standing in a Line
We can polarise issues dramatically in Standing in a Line exercises. Such exercises can persuade participants to think along new lines.
I
The law making prostitution illegal is
Completely right
1 2 3 4
Completely wrong
5 6
The leader sets out sheets of paper bearing the numbers 1 to 6 in a long line on the floor, leaving about 40 centimetres between them. The participants are asked to think about their views for a short time, and then theyre asked to position themselves somewhere along the line. Anyone standing at 1, 2 or 3 reckons that the law is essentially a good thing, but the people standing at 2 and 3 have certain reservations. On the other hand, anyone standing at 4, 5 or 6 is of the opinion that the negative aspects of the law outweigh the positive sides. The participants should then chat to the person nearest to them for a few minutes, and then a few people representing each number should present their views. Occasionally, some people are persuaded by the arguments of others to change their views and move over to a new number. Encourage this. Point out that you know theres not much time for thinking, but that this can be a hard question to answer. Show understanding if anyones not sure or changes their mind.
Reflection
The leader reads out the same statements once again and asks the members of the group to have a brief discussion two or three minutes long with the person next to them, saying whether theyve been influenced by the exercise and whether they think differently now. This shouldnt be done within the group as a whole as theres a great risk of a discussion arising in which participants try to get their friends to change their views.
Value clarification exercises
147
Working with self-confidence, attitudes and group development using value clarification exercises
Self-confidence
How do you persuade young people to talk openly on self-confidence, love and sexuality? What do you do when only the bravest of them dare to speak in other words, the ones who already have plenty of self-confidence and are thus in a better position to make contact with other people? This section describes the value clarification exercises method, which will enable you to hold discussions with 25 to 30 people on sensitive, intimate issues when teaching about personal relationships. Self-confidence is crucial if people are to be able to say yes and no at the right times throughout their lives, to be seen and understood when interacting with others, to know their own value and brush off insults. The physical elements of value clarification exercises actually getting on your feet and literally standing up for your views give many people the strength to dare to say something. Being treated with respect when putting your views into words has a positive effect on self-confidence. The reader is responsible for making sure that the value clarification exercises are taken seriously and carried out in a respectful, non-judgmental atmosphere.
Attitudes and group development

In value clarification work, the leaders should take responsibility for ensuring that all participants are given the opportunity to:
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Pause for thought and make up their minds. Express their views.
Ranking exercise
The participants are given paper and pens and initially work independently. The leader asks the group a question, such as Whats the best way to show someone youre interested in him / her?, and the answers are then ranked in order of priority. In your capacity as leader, you can write down a few possible suggestions, such as:
I I I
Ask a friend to tell him / her. Write a letter send an e-mail. Give him/her a present.
However, do explain to the group that these are just suggestions that they dont have to follow. They can all write down their own suggestions, and these then have to be placed in order of priority. They should write a 1 for the method they think is best, a 2 for second-best, and so on. They all work independently for five minutes, and then they get together in groups of three or four people. One person at a time reads out their list and the others mustnt interrupt: all they can do is listen and nod. Then each small group can hold a brief free discussion. Finally, a discussion can be held on whether the order of priority listed by the boys and the order of priority listed by the girls differ in any way.
Listing exercise
In a listing exercise, the first thing you do is sit and do some paper-and-pen work. The leader gives the participants a question or association task with a lot of potential answers. These should then be written down in a long list. One example of a question is:
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Where do most young people get the best sex education?
The leader writes down a few possible suggestions here, too, but also encourages the participants to come up with their own personal lists.
I I I I
Parents. Films. Friends. School.
Then the participants sit together in small groups and discuss their answers as per the model given for the Ranking exercises. Each group then has to describe some of the things they discussed.
Unfinished sentences
The leader formulates unfinished sentences relating to issues that may be of interest to the participants. The participants sit on chairs arranged in a circle as usual. The leader then turns to the first person in the group and reads out an unfinished sentence, such as When youre in love. This person then has to reply quickly, saying the first thing that comes into his/her head and finishing the sentence. If that person doesnt want to answer, all they have to do is shake their head to pass the sentence on to the next person in the group. As soon as that sentence has been completed, a new sentence is read out. Some sentences may crop up over and over again. After going round the group two or three times, depending on how big the group is, each and every participant is given the opportunity to comment on some of their answers, perhaps to explain something or change something. You can also allow the participants to ask one another questions if anything seems unclear. If you want the participants to practise thinking in peace and quiet, you can hand out sheets of paper to them containing unfinished sentences. Initially, they all work independently with their sentences, then they sit together in small groups and read out their answers to one another. The groups can finish off by discussing any sentence on which they all have very different views.
Examples of unfinished sentences

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My favourite colour is When people are in love Teaching on sexuality and personal relationships at school should include more
I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
The best thing about being a girl/guy is The worst thing about being a girl/guy is Girls are often good at Guys are often good at Sex without love is When I think about HIV/AIDS, I feel Being gay and belonging to a group of teenagers Condoms are Having a long relationship can be If I were five years older, Id Girls who fight are Becoming a parent when youre 16 Pornography can be If I were a Member of Parliament, Id propose a law on A lot of guys/girls are If I were a parent, Id Going out with somebody from a different culture can be Being in love with somebody whos a lot older Guys who are seeing a lot of girls Girls who are seeing a lot of guys Adults should be more
The public interview

This is an exercise that you should hold off with until the participants have got to know one another and feel secure in you as a leader and with the rest of the group. One person at a time volunteers to go and sit on a special chair at the front of the room. The rest of the group is then allowed to ask that person questions. The person being asked always has the right to reply no comment to any questions they dont want to answer. The person asking the question is only allowed to ask one question at a time and there must be no follow-up questions. Its best for the leader to start off with a few questions so as to identify an appropriate level (displaying respect for the integrity of the person answering the questions), such as:
I I I I I I
What do you like doing in your free time? Have you got any brothers or sisters? Do you believe in God? What do you value most in a friend? Whats your favourite place? How would you furnish the room of your dreams?
You can also agree on a few questions which are then written up on the board. Tell the participants before the exercise starts that only four or five people at a time can be interviewed. In the long run, its quite tiring to have to come up with questions, and its rarely possible to take an interest in more than five people at a time. Make sure that this exercise is repeated so that everyone who wants to be interviewed can be.
What to do when leading value clarification exercises

What we do and how we do it are equally important. Value clarification exercises are very widely used nowadays, and quite frequently with no training. In this instance, the serious aspects of the method are often overlooked. A reflection element is included as a means of quality assurance after each exercise to give participants the opportunity to really consider their attitudes. Work involving value clarification exercises should be characterised by involvement, fun and respect. There should be an atmosphere free of lecturing and prejudice, and participants should feel free to say what they think even if their views differ from those of the leaders or the more high-profile young people. Reinforcing self-confidence is the key theme for all of this work, and young people should be given plenty of opportunities to grow as individuals.
Ask for participants views, not their experiences

When coming up with value clarification exercises of your own, such as questions for the Hot Seat, you should avoid statements which allow participants to describe their experiences; Ive had a relationship, for example. Instead, ask for their opinions; having a relationship reinforces self-confidence, for example. Anybody who wants to talk about their own experiences at that point can do so, but nobodys forced to talk about anything they might prefer to keep to themselves. To protect the integrity of participants as far as possible, the various dilemmas in the four-corner exercises should be worded in the third person. Provide scope for everyone to describe their own concepts of love by wording exercises so that gays and lesbians can also have a say: instead of guy/girl, say partner or the person he/shes in love with.
Value clarification exercises should never be used as a means of controlling young people or for charting young peoples habits with regard to sexuality and alcohol, for example. If such information would be of interest to you, you should use anonymous questionnaires.
Cut out the comments!

Some people have the unpleasant habit of constantly passing comment on the views and actions of others. Ask everyone to consider just how difficult it actually is to come up with a comment when a nasty, ironic remark has been made, and make sure people know that making negative comments about one another is banned. Also, it goes without saying that anybody who doesnt want to take part in an exercise doesnt have to do so.
Highlight positive factors, but dont express personal subjective opinions!

Some groups may have acquired a negative collective identity. We can boost the collective ego and help the group towards a new identity by highlighting positive factors within the group in question, that is to say praising the members of the group for all the good and constructive things they do, e.g. youre really good at listening to one another or people can really say what they think here. Tell the group that there are no right or wrong answers in the value clarification exercises, and make sure you yourself adopt this approach, even when participants in your view come up with some really sensible ideas. In other words, dont give praise along lines of well said, Marie or thats very good point you just made, Dan: instead, encourage everyone to say what they think.
Active listening from the leader

Always be mentally alert when someones talking. Have empathy and get involved. Ask follow-up questions if you or anyone else in the group doesnt really understand what someone means. Dont try to use sarcastic questions along the lines of have you really understood the consequences of your views? and run people
down when they express opinions that you yourself dont share: instead, ask calm, clarifying questions so that the person in question is given the opportunity to reflect and justify their viewpoints. If you do this, youll sometimes find that the view put forward hasnt actually been thought out properly and is actually more of a rapidly expressed prejudice. Dont ask anyone to change their views just because they arent able to justify them: theres often far too much prestige involved. However, you may well have given the person in question, and not least the rest of the group as well, something to think about. Use process questions such as what do you think, then? and when do you think this is the case?, and avoid asking why as this word often blocks conversation and creates a defensive atmosphere. In all value clarification work, its important to clarify our own objectives with these exercises. If your objective is to get the young people to express views which tie in with your own, then discovering the wide variety of ideas that the participants have can be a real trial.
Take responsibility for your leadership!

Be positive and committed. Plan each session carefully. Put forward your plan as a suggestion. Be receptive to ideas from participants. Ideally, allow the young people to suggest the topic for the next meeting. Make sure you dont have any particular favourites. Dont talk about any participants who arent present. Give everybody chance to speak. Interrupt the most talkative participants, both adults and young people. Give everyone the opportunity to have their say when running value clarification exercises at every meeting. If anybody misunderstands an instruction, take responsibility for this yourself: sorry, I didnt make myself very clear there. Stop discussions. Value clarification exercises arent discussion exercises. This is an opportunity for people to justify their own viewpoints and listen to others viewpoints in peace and quiet without being attacked. Dont take part in the exercises yourself, but answer honestly if the participants ask you what your views are on any particular issue. Feel free to briefly describe any
failings during your own adolescence which are linked to what youre talking about, but dont make the group a forum for your own problems. Having someone to supervise you personally is valuable when it comes to working on processes within the groups and gaining a perspective of your leadership. Dont hand over leadership of the exercises to the young people. If you do, this can degenerate into superficial discussions and silliness because the exercises do include an element of fun. On the other hand, if you want to allow older teenagers to act as leaders for younger teenagers, you should set aside some time for leadership training and help them to come up with meaningful value clarification exercises. This can really boost their self-confidence.
Katrin Byrus
Drama teacher
Texts for in-depth study
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About homosexuality and bisexuality

History
Views on homosexuality and bisexuality and homosexual or bisexual people have varied over time and from society to society. In Europe, homosexual acts were viewed as sinful on account of the influence of the Christian church. The 19th century saw the emergence of the natural sciences, and their authority gained force. The discipline of sexology was established as a part of medical science. The human body and sexuality were medicalised. It was assumed that normal sexuality was the kind of sexuality experienced between a man and a woman within a marriage. Homosexuality was viewed as abnormal; a disease, defect or disorder. Homosexuality was no longer a sin or a crime that had to be punished; instead, it was an illness that had to be cured. In the post-war period, homosexuality has been increasingly regarded as a sexual variation. The turning point for the homosexual movement came in 1969, when whats known as the Stonewall Revolt took place in the USA. Homosexual and bisexual people who met up at the Stonewall Inn in New York defended themselves against repeated police raids. They asserted their right to meet and be what they were. This event marked the starting point for a radicalised, more active homosexual movement, not least in Scandinavia, with more public political activities in the 1970s and 1980s. Demands began to be made for reforms and amendments to legislation with a view to improving conditions for homosexual people in society. The pink triangle, which homosexual men had been forced to wear in German concentration camps, now became a symbol for homosexual liberation in the Western world. Homosexual people didnt want to be tolerated any more; they wanted to be accepted fully. In 1973, the Swedish Parliament decreed that personal relationships between homosexual couples was a fully acceptable form of relationship in the eyes of society. In 1978, the Swedish Parliament decided to set the minimum age limit for sex to 15, regardless of the type of relationship; be it between two men, two women or a man and a woman. The classification of homosexuality as an illness was abandoned by
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Swedens National Board of Health and Welfare in 1979. In 1994, the Swedish Parliament decided to introduce the concept of registered (civil) partnership as of 1995.
Coming out
Coming out is the term used to describe the process whereby people accept their homosexuality or bisexuality and reveal it to family and friends. The ins and outs of this process and how long it takes to complete do vary from person to person. At the same time, this is a lifelong process; new challenges arise when people change jobs, get to know new people or visit health clinics. Speculation on and/or awareness of sexual preference frequently emerge in the teenage years, when people become more aware of love, emotions and sexuality by means of relationships and fantasies. People also become more aware of precisely which people they have feelings for. The coming-out process is slightly different for boys and girls. Girls frequently spend a lot of time in pairs, enjoying very close friendships with female friends. Girls link sexuality with love to a greater extent. Boys and men learn to express their sexuality earlier in words and deeds. This means that many lesbians discover their love later than gays, and so they come out later. The deep feelings a girl may have for another girl can be interpreted as unusually close friendship, and not as the love affair homosexual men would experience. More often than boys, girls feel they lack heterosexual feelings, and so believe they could never love another person. It comes as a great relief to realise eventually whats going on: I realised there was nothing wrong with me, Id just been looking in the wrong place, as one girl put it. More young people than adults refer to themselves as bisexual. For some young people, identifying themselves as bisexual is a step towards accepting their homosexuality; while for others, being bisexual provides them with a lifelong identity. The teenage years are a turbulent time. The images young people have in their minds no longer match their external experiences. This is even more pronounced as far as homosexual or bisexual teenagers are concerned. The positive force we normally refer to as love becomes a threat to these people, rather than a source of pleasure, mainly on account of two factors: homosexuality is invisible, its taboo, and everyone
assumes that all young people are heterosexual. Furthermore, there are few role models to identify with. Young people dont think they know anybody whos homosexual or bisexual. You cant often tell whos homosexual in an everyday sense, which prevents homosexual or bisexual teenagers from accepting their feelings and revealing them to others. This invisibility and lack of role models mean that the isolation experienced by many teenagers is intensified for most lesbians, gays and bisexual teenagers. They feel alienated because their feelings arent the same as their friends. The loneliness they feel is more emotional than social. They have friends, but nobody they can share their innermost feelings with they dont dare to. For many young people, the opportunity to read about homosexuality and bisexuality and chat to other young people on the Internet has been very significant. They can remain anonymous and yet still reinforce their identities. Surprisingly many young people are aware of their homosexuality or bisexuality and accept it. They dont regard themselves as abnormal. However, most of them are worried about what their friends and family will think. In Sweden, this is particularly true of immigrant youths, whose original cultures frequently express intense prejudice against homosexuality. Immigrant teenagers often believe, with some justification, that theyll be excluded from their families. In other words, its their environment that causes problems, not their sexuality per se. However, homosexual people who come out are aware that things go well on the whole. Their friends accept them, as do their families, even though this may take a little time. Adverse reactions are unusual. Nevertheless, to be able to come out you have to have positive self-awareness and come to terms with your own prejudices on homosexuality and bisexuality. Meeting others in the same situation is important, because this alone allows you to perceive the reality behind the stereotypes and share your experiences with others, find support and role models and gain a future. A number of studies have shown that young homosexual, bisexual and transsexual people are more likely to suffer from mental problems than their heterosexual peers. Thus the stigma associated with homosexuality in our culture seems to result in poorer health among young homosexual, bisexual and transsexual people. For example, research findings show that young people in this group are much more likely to contemplate suicide. In spite of this, most young homosexual, bisexual and transsexual people enjoy their lives, although the proportion of depressed people in this group is greater than in the population in general.
Churches and Christian communities

Debates on homosexuality are in progress within churches and Christian communities. The basis for these discussions is that homosexuality is considered to conflict with the Creation, and that sexual acts between people of the same sex are condemned in both the Old and New Testaments. However, the evangelists dont raise the subject anywhere. How confirmed Christians view homosexual people is largely dependent on how they interpret the Bible. The people with positive attitudes towards homosexual people giving full expression to their love have a historically critical way of looking at things. They place evidence of sexual acts between people of the same sex in their historical, cultural and religious contexts. Opponents generally accept nowadays that people may have homosexual preferences but oppose sexual acts between people of the same sex. This leads them to adopt negative attitudes towards the affirmation of homosexual love and relationships, as this generally includes sexual acts. Opponents refuse under any circumstances to place the formation of homosexual and heterosexual couples on an equal footing, and can seldom view homosexuality as love. The negative approach, which is particularly common in nonconformist churches, can create profound problems for homosexual and bisexual people within churches and Christian communities. They have problems when it comes to being accepted and accepting themselves as human beings and as Christians. This negative attitude also leads to many homosexual Christians being forced to conceal their homosexuality. Theres opposition to homosexuality and bisexuality in Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism as well. However, it should be pointed out that religious interpretations vary widely. Its not uncommon for such opposition to be strongly linked with tradition, and so it doesnt always have a basis in the religion itself. Instead, the religion is a medium via which such opposition is demonstrated.
How many homosexual and bisexual people are there?

Surveys aiming to identify numbers of homosexual people generally focus on sexual acts, not emotions. However, most people who regard themselves as homosexual have never dared to or been able to affirm their desires. Consequently, theyve never had any sexual experience with anyone of the same sex and so arent included in the statistics. Anyone surveying numbers of homosexual or bisexual people will also notice that different people understand different things by these terms. Some people think sexual practice carries the most weight, while others think self-image (identification) is most important, and still others think sexual and/or emotional preference should be the main criterion. In the field of sexology, however, its traditional for all three of these aspects (practice, identity and preference) to be taken into account in order to determine sexual preference. Consequently, determining the number of homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual people in the population is a complex issue. An extensive survey of sexual habits in the USA, known as The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior, published in 1993, showed that 4 per cent of men and 4 per cent of professional women identified themselves as homosexual, while 5 per cent of men and 5 per cent of professional women identified themselves as bisexual *. At the time the survey was carried out, 9 per cent of men and 5 per cent of women said they were having an ongoing homosexual relationship or frequently had such contact.
Reasons for homosexuality and bisexuality

Theres been a lot of interest in the reasons for homosexuality over the last century, and biological, psychological and sociological research has been carried out on the subject. Over the years, a broad range of theories and facts have emerged relating to how people become homosexual and about how homosexual people behave. These explanations have been very sensitive to changing trends. For example, the emergence of psychoanalysis meant that theories about dominating mother and father figures made a breakthrough. In the same way, the recent focus on assaults on children has led to theories in which homosexuality is viewed by some people as a result of sexual abuse. Other common explanations are that homosexuality could be the result of seduction in early youth, or that its just a behaviour thats learned.
* The figures were lower for non-professional women.
Of course, its difficult to carry out representative research with regard to homosexual people. Any group of people in which the majority of members conceal their homosexuality from the rest of the world is difficult to access. Consequently, building a profile of homosexuality has proven to be problematic and biased, as much of the research carried out previously involved clinical material, that is to say homosexual people who sought assistance for various reasons. Moreover, most studies deal only with men, and theres hardly any research on the reasons for bisexuality at all. Healthy homosexual men and lesbians are very much conspicuous by their absence as regards research. No theory as to why certain people are homosexual has been able to provide unequivocal answers, and nowadays people are of the opinion that homosexuality is all down to the interplay of a range of factors which vary from person to person.
The situation worldwide

Sexual acts between people of the same sex are criminal offences in many countries. In other countries where such acts arent expressly criminal offences, people can expect harassment and discrimination if their homosexuality or bisexuality is revealed. Legislation often only covers sex between men, but this doesnt mean that lesbians encounter better situations in these countries. Legislators have often regarded women as naturally innocent creatures, meaning that their sexuality can only exist in relation to men. As a result, legislation against sex between women has been regarded as unnecessary. Sweden is one of the few countries in Europe in which male and female homosexuality has always been treated equally in law. Its not possible to gain an overall view of the situation for homosexual and bisexual people worldwide, as many countries make it difficult to access such information. The official view in many countries is that homosexuality doesnt exist. Furthermore, homosexuality and bisexuality are often taboo, and this does, of course, influence the official approach. There are varying kinds of legislation against homosexual relationships. According to a survey posted on the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA) website (www.ilga.org), some 80 countries have a total ban on homosexuality, nine of which impose the death penalty for offenders.
Age limits for homosexual relations are commonly higher than for heterosexual relations. In some countries, homosexual people are banned from establishing associations and entering professions such as the armed forces or the police. Certain countries also impose an incitement ban, which means that putting forward positive information on homosexuality that is to say, information that fails to paint homosexuality as a negative or undesirable feature is banned.
Parenthood
Homosexual men and women have always had children. So the question isnt whether homosexual or bisexual people should be allowed to have children or whether theyre suitable as parents. Theyre already parents. Most of the children of homosexual people were born of previous heterosexual relationships. Nowadays, its becoming more and more common for homosexual and bisexual people e.g. a lesbian couple and a gay couple to have children together. Anna Mohr
The Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights
Hans Olsson
Teacher and author, the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education
Robert Karlsson Svrd

The Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights
Groups of girls
Groups of girls take part in activities at youth clubs, schools and associations in Sweden. The content of these can vary, depending on who arranges the groups. The intention is often to highlight the presence of girls, acknowledge their interests and support their development into adults. Groups of girls are based on small groups and focus on discussion, giving girls themselves the opportunity to influence the content.
Why have groups of girls?

Work with groups of girls has been developed for various reasons, influencing both form and content. At youth clubs, it was noted that staff were better at dealing with disruptive boys than girls. At youth clubs run in the traditional way, there are more boys than girls and boys dominate the activities. There arent many activities for girls, and they consider these to be passive. But what girls perceive as passive is really just another form of activity, i.e. discussion: chats about relationships with boys, friends and parents. Girls sometimes find it difficult to put their interests and needs into words. Groups of girls at youth clubs have developed with a view to meeting these requirements, supporting girls and identifying leisure activities based on their interests. Other types of groups of girls have emerged due to the fact that field workers, counsellors and school nurses have found a certain category of girls to be problematic, involving destructive behaviour such as introversion, anorexia, promiscuity or rowdiness. Thus the content of group activities has centred on these problems. One thing groups of girls have in common, regardless of what they concentrate on, is that theres been a desire to give girls a free zone in which they have the opportunity to discuss important and sensitive issues without having to keep up appearances in front of the boys.
Which girls do you want to get through to?

If youre thinking of setting up a group of girls, its important to consider which girls or which target group you want to get through to. This must guide the planning and
setup of the work. You have to run through the most important issues before starting. Should everybody be part of the group of girls, or should it focus on a particular direction? Do you want to get through to girls who are active in various associations, or girls who dont go to the club? Or perhaps problem girls, younger girls, or girls with foreign backgrounds? Other important questions to think through include: What are the distinguishing features of the group youre aiming to get through to? What strong sides and opportunities do these girls have? What problems and obstacles might you face? What do the girls need in order to strengthen them and allow them to develop?
What objectives should you have with groups of girls?

Its important for you, in your capacity as leader, to consider what participants should get out of the group as regards the questions above and your own aims and objectives. Then you should ask the girls what they want. Once youve done that, its a good idea to work together to formulate the objectives for your particular group of girls.
Examples of objectives
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To give girls the opportunity to talk about important matters without being disturbed. To highlight and confirm girls interests. To persuade girls to discover new opportunities. To provide interesting activities based on the girls terms. To make girls aware of their situation. To train girls to take the initiative and get involved. To strengthen girls self-confidence.
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How do you get the girls involved?

One interesting question is how to recruit members for your group of girls. Experience from various youth clubs has shown that you have to work on establishing personal relationships with girls if youre going to persuade them to participate. This is particularly true of girls with the greatest needs. Look for them where they can be found; in school, for example. Invite them verbally to your group, and feel free to follow up with personal letters. You could also try roping in friends or other people they trust to help. Ideally, start off with a taster evening or information evening in which girls can find out more without having to commit themselves. Make sure you guarantee therell be no disruption and no boys present. This is particularly important if you want to work on issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships. Its also important to meet all the girls and welcome them nicely every time you get together. Some people might find it intimidating to commit to a group over an entire school term. You might also wonder whether the group structure is right. In such cases, you can use the Try three times and then decide how to go on model.
What do you do at girls meetings?

Consider which form and content are best for your particular group of girls. Discussion sandwiched with activities will form the foundation for your group. The girls determine the content of the meetings. There are lots of ways of getting a discussion started and teaching participants to stand up for their views. You can start with pictures and photos, This is how it feels today, or hold discussions where everyone is allowed to express an opinion. Value clarification exercises such as the Hot Seat or four-corner exercises are other methods you can use. The leader has to pave the way for a good atmosphere within the group. Whats said within the group mustnt be passed on. Sometimes, you can confirm this by getting the participants to sign a contract. Try to persuade group participants to agree on what should be done and what topics should be discussed. Initially, you can help out with examples in your capacity as leader if so required.
Examples of topics
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What does being best friends involve? What would you do if your friend let you down? Whats it like to be in love? What makes a good relationship? How do contraceptives work? What should you be prepared to give in a relationship? What do you do when your parents are crazy?
Although discussion forms the basis for activities in groups of girls, girls like to actually do things together in amongst all the talking. You might like to try out some kind of leisure activity, enjoy some coffee, cook, invite an exciting guest to join you or go on study visits. Youth leaders are of the opinion that you should deal with serious and important topics, but that you should avoid focusing too much on misery and problems. A lot of girls who really need to be part of a group are depressed and dejected. They need to find out that they can have fun with other people. Many leaders think its good to separate girls into their various age groups. There may be major differences between what 13-year-olds and 15-year-olds want to do and talk about, particularly when discussing issues relating to personal relationships.
Consider your own role

Your task as group leader is to ensure that everybody is seen, gets a chance to talk and is able to adopt a position within the group. You may also need to help make sure that any conflicts or bullying are brought up and dealt with constructively. Your most important task is to ensure that a democratic framework is put in position and that a good atmosphere is maintained within the group. You can make suggestions at the beginning of each session to get a discussion going, if so required. Then you can try to get the participants themselves to assume greater responsibility for suggestions, as well as planning and implementing the groups meetings.
As the girls gradually take more initiative themselves, you can tone down your own role. You have a major responsibility; to help the group resolve conflicts if the girls cant do this themselves. On the other hand, your job as youth leader doesnt involve acting as a therapist or counsellor. If contact with such professionals is required, its better for you to help the girl in question to contact a counsellor, social worker or psychologist. Experienced leaders of groups of girls recommend that two leaders should be present. This makes it easier to work on development of the group. If this is impossible, you should at least have a support person from outside the group who you can discuss matters with and who can act as a sounding board. The group should know this person. Your role as leader makes you an important role model. You should reflect on your own opinions on various issues and be aware that the girls are influenced not only by what you say, but also by what you do and how you do it, if youre secure in yourself and dont behave critically. You have to be genuinely interested in the girls and their situations, but also willing to give your best. Be personal but not private. You should also be aware that having a group of girls isnt the only solution to problems arising due to activities being marred by inequality or injustice to the detriment of the girls. Such problems can only be resolved by consciously promoting equality, working on the attitudes and outlooks of all the leaders involved. You also have to work on the basis of this perspective and consider the layout and use of the premises, the range of activities on offer and ways of recruiting girls.
Diana Pettersson Svenneke

Teacher of youth club leaders
The importance of men as regards work on sexuality and personal relationships

Mostly women working on sexuality and personal relationships
Work on sexuality and personal relationships has been dominated and supported by women, and the same is also true of teaching on sexuality and personal relationships in schools. This is linked with the tradition originating from the emergence of sex education in the late 19th century, which at that time was aimed mainly at girls. Since then, the emphasis has been on concern for the girls, for understandable reasons. Girls were the ones who bore children and had to take the social and medical consequences of this. Male sexuality, on the other hand, wasnt to be aroused; on the contrary, it needed to be punished. People were also of the opinion that boys had higher sex drives than girls. There was silence on the sexuality of boys, while at the same time it wasnt a problem as far as boys were concerned. However, this has been made into a problem in relation to girls, but not with regard to the development of boys own personal identities.
The delights and dangers of sexuality

When people talk about the sexuality of men, problems are frequently referred to, often involving sexual violence. In turn, this adverse creation of problems is due to the restrictive sexual attitudes which prevail in Sweden. Our apparently open approach to sexuality is obscured by ambivalent attitudes; sure, sexuality is okay and a source of passion and pleasure, but oh, what dangers come hot on its heels! How quick we are to talk about the pleasures of sex, but in our very next breath we issue warnings on its consequences. Researcher Gisela Helmius characterises our sexual attitudes and sexuality as permitted but only under certain conditions. Sexuality is essentially accepted, but also feared because of the problems it may give rise to. Girls have to learn to say no, and boys have to control their desires. This ambivalent
attitude, according to Helmius, is also reflected in public debate where, for example, abortion problems, sexual abuse and prostitution attract plenty of attention, while as she says health keeps quiet. This debate exposes rather one-dimensional views on male sexuality. These create a maze in which boys can easily lose their way. The sexuality of boys becomes a sexual rubbish tip containing all the things we want to avoid.
More men in the arena

This is why its necessary to bring men into the arena. Work on sexuality and personal relationships can never be completed as far as either boys or girls are concerned if there are no men involved. How men and women view their sexuality has altered over the years, and the experiences of men and women are showing a tendency to resemble one another. In relative terms, the sexual behaviour of women has changed more than that of men in the post-war period. For example, the age at which women first try masturbation fell between the two surveys of sexual habits conducted in Sweden in 1967 and 1996, whereas its remained more or less the same for men. The age at which people lost their virginity has also fallen, but more so for women than for men. Between the two surveys, theres been a considerable increase in the number of sexual partners women have had. However, this idea that male and female sexuality are two very different things lives on. The sexuality of boys is still regarded as being separate, an instinctive form of satisfaction that has nothing to do with identity. We would like to state that women often adopt a stereotyped attitude towards the sexuality of boys and men; that men just have sex for the sake of it. This may be true in the sense that it appears that men find it easier to have sex that doesnt involve love (although this does seem to be becoming more common among women as well). Or, as sociologist Bo Eneroth put it: Mens lust for lust. But its dangerous to draw from this the conclusion that this is sexuality devoid of emotion. The sexuality of men also involves expressions of acknowledgment, needs for closeness and intimacy, dreams and becoming one with a partner. And yet theres still this dominant idea that men are irresponsible, like potential perpetrators, and that they think more with their pricks than their heads!
Reinforce the male identity

The self-esteem of boys is undermined by having women, and women alone, as sexual educators. Its as though boys can never be really sure that all these women arent actually double agents, acting with treacherous good intentions as the mouthpiece of girls and women. Perhaps its never actually possible to completely trust women until men have revealed their concept of manhood? What do terms such as manliness, the mans role and masculinity actually mean? These are just popular words that are often used without defining them. Its impossible to reinforce the male identity unless youre prepared at the same time to make it into a problem. And this is where men fall down: they too are firmly entrenched in the masculine concept of what a man should be.
Olle Waller
Sexual educator, Lafa
Hans Olsson
Teacher and author, the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education
Working with sexuality and personal relationships among young people from ethnic minorities
National characteristics
To distinguish between people and other people or, rather, between man and beast we unconsciously use what ethnologists call distinction clichs. These almost always involve emotions; regarding control or the lack of it, being cold or emotional. Distinction clichs provide us with contrasts and views of the national characteristics of ourselves and others: We Brits arent as passionate or hot-tempered as the French or Spanish, but were more efficient and reliable; on the other hand, were not as inflexible and boring as the Germans. There are always people in our society who are lazier, more stupid, more deceitful than ourselves. People may sometimes be different in a positive way. For example, we Swedes think Danes are friendlier and more continental than we are. How you go about acquiring a national identity is similar no matter where you come from. Not even Swedish envy is unique to Sweden. Envy is a trait found in many nationalities.
Immigrants or a minority
We frequently talk about immigrants as if they were part of a homogeneous group. Weve coined a number of phrases using the word immigrant: immigrant culture, immigrant policy, immigration board, immigrant women, immigrant problems, immigrant issues. However, there are a few basic problems with these terms. They often give rise to problems and say nothing about individuals or small groups of people. The word immigrant does possibly function as a statistically descriptive term this is how we use the term in this text but its meaning isnt entirely clear even in this context. Which people are regarded as immigrants? For how long?
To be referred to as an immigrant by a society, no matter what the context, is to be robbed of your personal identity.
Cultural competence?
When we meet people from other countries or cultures, were quite keen to find out what theyre actually like. Wed like some kind of catalogue or reference manual where we can look at information on how they behave and why; not unlike what animals do. We could look up a species and read all about it by following a number of headings: mating (sexuality), diet (eating habits), behaviour (manners and customs) and dress (clothing). But people are culture, not nature. Prevailing sexual attitudes are a result of the society we live in at a particular point in time; in Sweden, just as in Uganda or Thailand. The opportunity for sexuality has a biological foundation, but its expression is determined by culture. Cultural competence is a common expression in this kind of context. The meaning of the term isnt entirely clear, but it probably means that officials in this country have to know enough about a culture to allow them to understand it and thus be able to work well enough to please everybody: the officials themselves, the students or clients and society in general. This expression is misleading. In the case of teachers who work with students of 20 or 30 different nationalities, with countless cultural variations, its impossible to demand that they take on as much cultural competence as is required to be able to meet the needs of all their students. Terms such as immigrant and cultural competence invite generalisations and overinterpretation. Not all Muslims and Christians or Europeans and Africans behave, act, feel and think in the same way. Its easy to get bogged down in discussions on culture and sexuality, or religion and sexuality, and to explain everything on the basis of these. Each culture has a lot of shared characteristics. But each and every individual has the freedom to act independently within their culture. Nor is culture always the best way of explaining actions and viewpoints. Just as frequently, cultural terms conceal differences relating to class or gender; but blaming culture is so much easier. This then ascribes responsibility to the individual instead of finding out whether its actually the social structure thats the cause of the problem. In
other cases, the opposite is true. Responsibility is taken away from the individual and ascribed to their culture instead. Its quite possible that well-educated, secularised men and women from various big cities share more similar views of equality than they do with their orthodox religious compatriots. Its quite likely that the experiences encountered by women in certain instances, such as the fear of unwanted pregnancy, eclipse cultural differences. Thus the differences in attitudes towards sexuality and personal relationships may sometimes be more readily described as attributable to class or gender. Cultural competence can easily become a superficial, fragmented kind of knowledge thats not exactly wrong but isnt relevant either. Theres a risk that it could be more of a hindrance than a help. After all, who am I meeting? Is it an Arab, or is it Ahmed? Is it a Turkish girl, or is it Turkish working class girl Nalin? It could even be Kurdish working class girl Nalin from Turkey standing in front of me in the classroom or at the youth club. General knowledge frequently leads us astray as it can make us view immigrant culture as something static. However, culture is in constant motion; it changes, its created, its recreated. Of course, knowledge is never wrong the more you learn, the better but it doesnt automatically provide the solution as regards encountering individuals. Moreover, its difficult to define in advance precisely what kind of knowledge you need. This is why its valuable to talk about attitudes rather than cultural competence. You have to be sensitive and humble. To listen to and see the human being. To create dialogue and conversation. You mustnt take away from other people in advance the ability, willingness and need to discuss sexuality just because they have different origins.
Central and peripheral values

When peoples identities are threatened or questionedsuch as when in exile they hang on more tightly to their values than would otherwise be the case; values covering everything from traditions and dress styles to sexuality and bringing up children. However, some values are more important than others.
Gillis Herlitz, an ethnologist whos worked with the Swedish International Development Agency (SIDA), divides our values into central and peripheral values. Central values are rooted deep down inside, and we feel uncertain and confused if theyre altered in any way. Our central values, together with our language, create our identity. This is why its particularly difficult to accept changes to them. Central values are usually the focal point of cultural clashes. Central values are often invisible, not put into words. Theyre just there, like a beating heart. Were made aware of their presence only when the rhythm changes if then, even. Because we feel them more than we think about them. We get pains in the chest, but the root of the pain is difficult to work out. Peripheral values can be altered without the whole thing crashing down around our ears. Its easier to change things that are less important, such as hair and dress styles, than things of vital importance, such as the right to determine when you reproduce or whether to have your daughter circumcised.
Sexuality: part of the foundation of society

Sexuality and the standards that control it are central values. This is why sexuality is often used as a distinction clich. Sexuality is accompanied by a range of other issues: attitudes towards man woman relationships and parent child relationships, towards love, marriage, nakedness, physical contact, heterosexuality and homosexuality. We could say that society is based on sexuality and the standards surrounding it. How sexuality is organised affects society as a whole. This is why being familiar with a few of the overall models relating to views on sexuality and personal relationships which can be found in certain parts of the world can be a good thing. This is more a way of thinking about and relating to these issues rather than having a knowledge of what people are like.
Ideals and practice

We have to remember that these are general explanations. When two different value systems i.e. cultures come together, we confront one anothers practice with our own ideals. Many prejudices are attributable to this.
We all know that ideals and practice can be two different things. We think one thing but do another. We handle official ethics practically. Homosexuality is one example, both in Sweden and elsewhere. Even though imams and priests condemn homosexuality, other people dont always do so. Many countries accept homosexual acts as long as they take place in private, while having a public homosexual identity is inconceivable. Another example is the use of condoms. Although the Pope condemns their use, most Catholics believe condoms offer necessary protection against HIV. In many cultures, having sexual experience before marriage is of value. For many people from Arab cultures, be they Christians or Muslims, its important for girls to be virgins. But for all that, this doesnt mean all Arab girls are virgins when they marry.
Exile and identity

Exile is an experience which all immigrants share, regardless of their origins. Immigrants are also emigrants. Most of them leave their homelands against their will. Theyre fleeing from conditions at home, not from their cultures. Theres little chance of them ever returning due to political or social reasons. Exile can lead to a sense of loss of identity. New values prevail; your close family and other relatives arent there and you miss them; you have to learn a new language; personal experience is of little importance; and you end up in an historical vacuum. How this should be handled is linked with the opportunities you have to become part of society, and these in turn depend on your level of education, the social network available, whether you get a job and what language skills you possess.
Hot topics
How, then, can you carry out work on sexuality and personal relationships with such a multitude of different attitudes towards sexuality, gender roles and family? There are no easy answers. However, in our experience weve found that the difficulties are less pronounced than people would generally imagine. People see too many problems and worry too much. The similarities outnumber the differences. The issues are much the same.
If we regard discussions on sexuality and personal relationships as a problem area from the word go, its easy for us to adopt stances that unconsciously reject the original culture and its values. This in turn undermines the identity and self-esteem of young people. Were probably so afraid of teaching on sexuality and personal relationships giving rise to conflicts that wed rather avoid the subject altogether. A lot of people say theyre afraid of hurting someones feelings or treading on someones toes. Its good to be aware of this; schools and other institutions express the values of the majority in society, and theres always the risk of an abuse of power with regard to minorities. But theres also an element of arrogance if this caution is taken too far. Its as if immigrants they have no discrimination or cant say no, or as if they dont want to listen or understand. As far as teaching on sexuality and personal relationships is concerned, there are a number of topics that are viewed as being particularly sensitive and bring deepseated emotions to the fore. These may include masturbation, homosexuality, female circumcision, prescribing the Pill to teenage girls, gender roles, abortion or the significance of virginity.
Key factors
Weve already mentioned a couple of general topics, such as working with selfesteem and identity. There are a few other key factors that should be considered.
1. Lengthy exposure Many young immigrants arent used to talking about sexuality. Their collective value foundation and knowledge base are likely to be more variable when a large proportion of the group is made up of minorities. Many people are also unaware of which values prevail in society and what underlies these values: misconceptions are commonplace. You need time for this, and you need to return to this topic repeatedly. 2. Reasonable level of ambition All groups have prejudices regarding other people or points at issue. Its easy to make stringent demands of yourself as a provider of education, and it feels as though
youve failed in your duty if such prejudices remain intact. In a worst-case scenario, you may feel that what youre doing is futile and just give up. But it takes time to deal with and alter prejudices. For this reason, its important to deal with hot topics over and over again, even if theyre fraught with conflict.
3. Give feedback Use feedback as a method: listen and ask questions. Encourage people to think on their own instead of providing all the answers yourself. A lot of people claim its hard to know where the boundaries of a particular topic lie. If you leave some of the initiative to the group by pointing out a leader and allowing the members to compile the questions or by allowing the leader to use value clarification exercises, the group will automatically set the relevant boundaries. Indeed, most of the competence is staring us in the face in the form of the young people themselves! 4. Anatomy Many young people from other cultures dont know much about anatomy. Tell them how the body works. Tell them the terms they need to describe the body and sex organs as well as for other sexual concepts, as many of them arent able to understand the subtleties of the language. 5. Language and expressions Language is emotion. Language is also identity. Language difficulties mean that adults often read too much into certain things, particularly the poor, coarse vocabulary and expressions boys sometimes use. Cock, cunt and fuck may be the only words they know. There are also expressions used as swearwords and derogatory comments in their homeland, such as son of a whore or Ill fuck your mother. But we dont always have words with which to express our values either, particular as far as sexuality is concerned. This is true of everyone. Quite simply, we think or feel in a certain way. Schools and youth clubs have a very important part to play as places where young people can pick up language which can be used to refer to sexuality. Expressing your emotions and values in words makes you aware of them. You can then make up your mind about certain issues as well, and respect the views of others more readily. Reacting, arguing, chatting, sharing your own experiences and listening to the experiences of others are all ways of developing words to describe your emotions and values.
Emotions in the working group

In addition to the points noted above, there will of course be specialist knowledge that youll think either you yourself or the group youre working with will need. Its important to discuss this with your colleagues. Outsiders wouldnt be able to define these requirements. What specialist knowledge do we need? Its also valuable and rewarding to chat about and discuss your own emotions and values. How do I react when students yell fucking queer? How do I react when my colleagues express prejudices? What do we think is difficult? What provokes us? Is there anything wed prefer to avoid working with because it arouses such incredible emotions in us? What resources in the form of other people and institutions can be used in work on sexuality and personal relationships and provide us with information and expertise?
Relating to young people

One of the purposes of education on sexuality and personal relationships is to provide young people with factual knowledge, put their values to the test and enhance their self-esteem and ability to find themselves. In view of this, such work has to take place in an atmosphere of respect, curiosity, tolerance. But this doesnt mean that you have to accept everything in the belief that youre showing respect. One recurring issue is whether you should inform parents of impending teaching on sexuality and personal relationships. This question isnt all that easy to answer. A number of people are affected: parents, students and staff. Some people believe, in an atmosphere of respect, that immigrant parents in particular should be notified so as to gain their confidence and because theyre entitled to know whats happening in school. Others are of the opposite view: that theres a risk of doing more harm than good, not least as far as students are concerned. Whats best? Theres no answer to that. This is something you have to discuss with your colleagues.
Immigrant problems?
Don Kulick, an anthropologist at Stockholm University, wrote: Of course, you do not have to accept what happens in other cultures at a personal level. For instance,
all the anthropologists I know condemn female circumcision as a dreadful thing to do. But people from other cultures are not idiots. It is not a question of them being uninformed and misunderstanding everything. People from other cultures who deal with sexuality and the human body differently to ourselves have, just like us, very deeply rooted explanations and feelings for what they do. And instead of just dismissing what these people think and do, it can be extremely rewarding to attempt to understand why they do what they do and think what they think, and then to use this knowledge to consider why we do what we do and think as we do. Its generally no more difficult to work with young people from minority cultures on the topic of sexuality and personal relationships. Theres nothing we need to avoid. Probably the most difficult aspect for any teacher is to put up with the differences and realise that achieving complete agreement isnt possible, or indeed desirable. Not everyone wants to be integrated bur everyone does truly want to be included. We all want to count.
Hans Olsson
Freedom or oppression? Various views on pornography

Few topics, if any, are as emotionally charged and arouse such strong reactions as pornography; everything from disgust and revulsion to excitement. But what is pornography, how can we understand it, and what are the arguments for and against it? The pornography discussed here is the type aimed at a heterosexual audience.
What is pornography?
Although pornography has been in mass circulation for 150 years now, its not easy to define and categorise. Studies on the topic have come to the conclusion that pornographic material should include two elements: it should have a sexual theme, and it should be sexually exciting. As we can all see, these arent simple, easy criteria to meet: instead, theyre very much dependent on personal values and opinions. Nor is pornography a specific entity. Instead, it takes on different guises depending on the format and medium in which its created: books, magazines, films or on the Internet. Whats considered to be pornography at one point in time isnt necessarily considered as such at other times. In both debates and research, opinions vary widely as regards views on pornography what it shows and what function it serves and this is particularly true as regards female sexuality. This is a minefield in many respects, and discussions always seem to end up with people being divided into two opposing camps. Youre either for or against pornography; there doesnt seem to be any middle ground. Some people view pornography as clear oppression in which women are the victims and men are the dominant ones, exerting power by means of their sexuality. Pornography is viewed as a way of expressing a kind of male sexuality that degrades women. In contrast, others believe that its one of the few areas in which female desires are expressed and focused on personal satisfaction. According to this way of looking at things, pornography is an arena in which the two sexes meet as equals in a jungle of desires.
To understand these completely opposing views, you first have to look at what characterises pornography, what makes it attractive and what arouses opposition. First of all, we have to distinguish between soft porn and hardcore porn. The most common form of soft porn involves showing someone in a sensual or erotic pose. This is something that can now be seen in a lot of advertising (and almost always involving young women). Such pictures arent considered to be pornographic in common parlance and with regard to general values, despite the fact that they represent a sexual theme. So is it the intended purpose that makes such pictures non-pornographic? Because the desires to be aroused involve consumption, and not masturbation or some other form of sexual gratification? However, if soft porn photos could hardly be said to raise objections, hardcore porn certainly does! Hardcore porn shows scenes of intercourse or suchlike involving two or more people, along with erect male organs. Claims that whats being shown is real are also made. Using various realistic forms of expression, the audience is meant to be convinced that what they see is actually whats happened or is happening, i.e. that the people shown are actually having sex. One of the ways in which this is achieved involves showing visible evidence of the mans orgasm (known as a cum shot); almost all photos and scenes in films end with this display of semen. However, unlike this visible evidence, female passion isnt quite as easy to prove. Facial expressions, body positions and verbal or text confessions are used to achieve this. While hardcore porn claims to be realistic, its meant to function by stimulating the imaginations of the people viewing it. This combination of realism and fantasy is probably what makes it attractive, but this is also what creates a divide between the pros and the antis. While the antis view it as degrading, particularly for women, because real people are hiring out their bodies for the gratification of the people viewing, the pros are of the opinion that pornography should be regarded as an imaginary experience, and as such aimed as much at women as at men. In the first case, this leads to pornography being called into question because these are real people acting out or rather being involved in the events unfolding in front of our very eyes. In the second, this leads to defence of peoples right to enjoy fantasies, whatever they may involve. The impact on the audience is considered to lie in the claims to realism: particularly among young men, who get to see what women want.
One of the reasons for the imbalance that pornography is considered to illustrate is that its created by men, used by men, but acted by women. However, this isnt entirely the case with either soft or hardcore porn. Soft porn photos are currently aimed just as much (if not more) at an intended audience of women as well as men, while men take part in hardcore porn alongside women. But even though women buy, rent and read pornographic material, pornography is still discussed as if it were a male domain. And so the question arises: whats male about pornography? Looking at pornography in its current form, or rather the audience at which its targeted, the answer may seem obvious. Pornography is a genre aimed primarily at men and created by men. However, more and more pornographic material is being both created and used by women (albeit still a fairly small proportion). Looking at sexual arousal, the intended effect of pornography, the same obvious dividing line is simply not there. What is it about material aimed at exciting the viewer/reader that makes it specifically male? Another argument is that women want a different type of sexual material, focusing more on relationships and not just sex. This is why attempts are made to differentiate between erotic and pornographic material. But this has also proven to be virtually impossible: what determines whether its one thing or the other, if the objective in both cases is sexual arousal? As men have always been entitled to do, women should use both sexual fantasies and materials for their own pleasure. Of course, the arguments which suggest that only certain types of sexual acts are normal and that women always demand love are antiquated now. However, the problem for people in favour of pornography lies in their unwillingness to discuss its realism how its produced as at least a potential problem. Or in any case, as being considerably more problematic than written text, which differs distinctly from the metaphor for reality portrayed in films or magazine photographs. This is why its claimed just as categorically that its all about just fantasies, disregarding the questions that any realistic genre may raise. These questions relate to the willingness of the actors, whether the demand for just about any acts should always be met simply because someone wants to see them. Also, it mustnt be forgotten that the image of sexuality portrayed by a lot of pornography is itself permeated
by conventions. Rather than being a phenomenon which does away with taboos, as it often portrays itself, pornography often follows strict rules as to what should and shouldnt be shown: men should always be able to perform amazingly, women should always be willing, and so on. Sex in all its forms is full of ideas of what sexuality is or should be and how men and women are, and pornography is no exception in this respect. So even though its not always easy to talk about pornography, its important to attempt to understand what it is about it thats enticing and what gives offence. In addition, talking about it also dispels some of the mystique that pornography is only too willing to surround itself with.
Anja Hirdman
PhD, Journalism, Media and Communication
Sexual abuse
What is sexual abuse of children?
Sexual abuse of children may be defined as actions or situations with a sexual content in which an adult or young person abuses a minor to satisfy their own sexual or other needs. The people who sexually abuse children are often adults, but older children or children of the same age may also commit such abuse. Children may also be forced to have sex with one another in order to stimulate adult fantasies or to take part in documentation; in other words, child pornography. Abuse involves the perpetrator abusing the childs position of dependence and violating his or her integrity. Children cant understand abusive acts, theyre not mature enough for them and they dont have enough information on them to be able to give their consent. Sexual abuse is always based on the needs of the perpetrator. Abuse may involve touching a childs sex organs or persuading the child to touch the perpetrators sex organs or breasts, having oral sex or penetrating or attempting to penetrate the childs vagina or anus. However, abuse may also include forcing the child to show his or her sex organs or look at the perpetrators sex organs, or forcing the child to look at pornography. Abuse can take place on isolated occasions or continue for many years. Sexual abuse of children may cover many types of actions which can constitute a range of different crimes. Examples include rape, sexual compulsion, sexual abuse of a minor, sexual molestation and child pornography.
How common is sexual abuse of children?

Sexual abuse of children and adolescents has probably always existed. However, its only in recent years that the issue has come to be discussed. As silence and secrecy are part of the problem, we may have cause to believe that such abuse is rare. Unfortunately this isnt the case.
In Sweden, between one and two suspected cases of sexual abuse per 1000 children under the age of 15 are reported to the police each year. Swedish studies show that some 78 per cent of women and 13 per cent of men have been victims of sexual abuse at some point during their formative years. Complaints made to police and court verdicts are used as a gauge for estimating the overall frequency of sexual abuse of children in the population. However, theres a lot to indicate that the number of unrecorded cases sexual assaults on children that arent reported is substantial. Victims may experience considerable repression and trauma, and a large proportion of cases of abuse arent reported. Furthermore, few complaints made to the police lead to prosecution.
A vicious circle
Children and adolescents whove been victims of sexual abuse face severe difficulties. They may at some point have tried to signal their secret indirectly or symbolically in the hope that someone might venture to understand, listen and help. Someone in the family may be involved. Feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, betrayal and self-loathing can cause the child to say nothing if nobody understands the signals. Often the perpetrator is the only person who sees and cares about the child. These conflicting feelings in the child create confusion and can result in extreme damage. Without help, without working through these terrible incidents, theres a risk that the victim will fail to recognise boundaries as an adult, so perpetrating a vicious circle. Many child molesters have themselves been physically, mentally or sexually abused.
Consequences of sexual abuse

The consequences of sexual abuse of children and adolescents are being studied and documented to an ever greater extent. Betrayal by adults can lead to children being unable to trust anyone, as well as greater vulnerability in close relationships. Children may also feel a sense of powerlessness and feel incapable of protecting themselves and stopping the abuse. They may also find it difficult to persuade others to believe what they say. This can lead to nightmares, depression and aggressive behaviour. More long-term effects may include more anti-social behaviour,
addiction, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts and self-harming, post-traumatic stress disorder and sexual problems. Children whove been the victims of sexual abuse look for various survival strategies. How children protect themselves depends on their age and psychosexual development. The type of abuse and how long its gone on for also have a part to play. Sexualisation is one way of transforming feelings of shame and powerlessness. Some children whove been sexually abused become sexually active early on in life.
Dare to ask and be capable of listening

Children need the love, care and attention of adults. Theyre totally dependent on their parents and would do anything to avoid losing their love. Adolescence may be a time when its possible to work through whats happened. This is the time when questions on emotions, boundaries and integrity are brought to the fore with the onset of puberty. Talking about sexual abuse gives children an opportunity to find assistance, and so shame and self-loathing may be lessened. Low self-esteem, problems with body image, difficulties in setting boundaries and acting out sexual behaviour can lead to high-risk sexual behaviour. Sexual abuse and incest may arouse strong feelings in people who discover that a child or young person is being or has been abused. Reactions of anger, mistrust, despondency and powerlessness arent uncommon. In spite of this, there are things we can do to support children or young people who talk about abuse. Anyone whos been a victim needs support and help to allow them to break the vicious circle.
Accept the confidence shown in you

Nowadays, theres a considerable body of knowledge about sexual abuse, although a lot still remains to be studied. Acquiring knowledge is a good place to start. If you recognise various symptoms that may be related to sexual abuse, you can learn to spot other signals and dare to ask questions. If children in Sweden need to be protected, youre obliged to report the situation to the social welfare service, which has the expertise to know which measures are required and is
responsible for implementing these. If a child or young person approaches you and describes sexual abuse to you, accept the confidence shown in you and show that youre ready to hear more. You werent chosen purely by chance. These children have been betrayed and need adults they can depend on. By asking questions, were demonstrating that the problem exists. This gives us the opportunity to say: If youve been a victim of abuse, help is available to you.
Acquire knowledge
I I
Reinforce the self-esteem of children and young people. Make children and young people aware of their rights. Children are entitled to keep their bodies private; theyre entitled to refuse physical contact; they have the right to rely on their feelings and intuition and to tell someone when adults threaten their integrity. Provide adequate sexuality education. Make children aware of what adults can and cant demand of a child. Provide information on the UN Convention and Childrens Rights. Provide children with information as to where they can seek help.
I I I I
Lena Mobrandt
BA, Lafa
About Lafa
10
About Lafa 203
About Lafa
Methodology and knowledge centre
Lafa (the Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme) is part of the Stockholm County Council public health department. Lafas main concerns are the prevention of HIV, sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. Its primary target groups are young people, men who have sex with other men, immigrants and refugees and primary healthcare patients. Lafa works to promote sexual health in the broadest sense. This can essentially be defined as freedom from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. However, good sexual health also means allowing individuals to express their sexuality in a fulfilling way, and recognising that sexuality is a part of our lives that gives us a sense of both physical and mental wellbeing. Consequently, sexual wellbeing and health can be promoted through safer sex, as well as through broader knowledge and greater awareness of sexual issues. Lafa provides a methodology and knowledge base for people working with issues relating to sexuality and personal relationships at schools, youth clubs and youth clinics within the area covered by the County of Stockholm. Lafa also works directly with target groups by means of special projects, advertising, campaigns and websites. Lafa carries out its own research and constant development work in the field of sexuality and personal relationships to allow it to provide information on effective methods and the very latest facts.
Services offered by Lafa include:

I I
An educational programme offering courses and seminars.
The Main Thread and other methodology materials on sexuality and personal relationships.
204 About Lafa
Mentoring and support to people working with sexuality and personal relationships.
I I
Insight magazine on HIV, sexual health, sexuality education, etc.

An information centre where you can borrow books, periodicals and videos and view exhibitions. Brochures and information. Reports and documentation. Statistics on births, abortions, sterilisations, HIV and STIs. Free condoms for young people.
I I I I
Find out more about Lafa and safer sex on the Internet at:
www.lafa.nu www.kondom.nu www.p-piller.nu
Abbreviations 205
Abbreviations
AIDS HIV LAFA STI UNAIDS Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome Human Immunodeficiency Virus The Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme Sexually Transmitted Infection The Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS
UNESCO The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization WHO The World Health Organization
Compulsory education in Sweden covers nine school years (Years 1 9). Upper secondary school (high school) in Sweden consists of three-year programmes that provide a broad general education and eligibility to study at university or post-secondary level.
Many thanks to AVERT, which allowed us to use some of their methods in The Main Thread. To find out more about AVERT, please visit www.avert.org
Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme Postal Address Box 175 33, SE-118 91 Stockholm, Sweden Telephone + 46 8 517 781 00 Fax + 46 8 517 780 90 Internet www.lafa.nu | www.kondom.nu | www.p-piller.nu
Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme Postal Address Box 175 33, SE-118 91 Stockholm, Sweden Telephone + 46 8 517 781 00 Fax + 46 8 517 780 90 Internet www.lafa.nu | www.kondom.nu | www.p-piller.nu

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Handbook on sexuality and personal relationships among young people

The Main Thread

Stockholm County AIDS Prevention Programme

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

This education should:

The teaching methods:

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

5. Sexuality and contraceptives

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

107 109 111 113 118

7. The downside of sexuality

8. Value clarification exercises

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

9. Texts for in-depth study

10. About Lafa

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

The most exciting thing of all

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Planning work relating to sexuality and personal relationships

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Sexuality and identity

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

A planning model starting points and perspectives

Purpose and theory

Sexuality and personal relationships

Skills development Content

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Perspectives on work with sexuality and personal relationships

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Work planning and the working team

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Theme week at Alby School a planning model

Examples of theme week elements

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Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Youth, health, love at Hovsj School an example

Youth, health, love

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Learning for Life at Rudbeck School

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Learning about Life at Tibble High School

Learning about Life: objectives

Once the course is complete, students should have:

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Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu

Sexuality and personal relationships Year 9 studies at Fittja School

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Lafa The Stockholm County Aids Prevention Programme, www.lafa.nu