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Volume LXXXII, Number 8, August, 2009

God calls us to All Saints’ Episcopal Church, the oldest Episcopal Church in Oakland County (est.
1837). Here, allwho seek the love of Christ are welcome. Here, we seek to deepen our spiritual lives
through a rich heritage of worship and music. Here, we seek to serve the wider community, as He calls
us to do, through ministry and service. Here, we look to our past for inspiration and to the future with
anticipation. Adopted by the Vestry on September 15, 2008
fails to elicit some intriguing responses.
We all need a good laughnow and again.
In case you're a little foggy on your biblical
From a book titled Little Wonder by Mary
history, let our junior church students help
Hollingsworth, enjoy this colorful
you with this complete overview of the
rendition of the Creation and Old and
Bible, compiled from their essays:
New Testament tales.
In the beginning, which occurred near the
start, there was nothing but God,
darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,
"The Lord thy God is one," but I think He
must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God
said, "Give me a light!" and someone did.
Then God made the world.

One of our favorite jobs has been leading

junior church. We try to do more than
baby-sit our church's beloved little ankle-
biters during their time in our special
junior church facility. We aim to give them
a solid background in biblical history. At
the end of each year, we give them pencils
and paper and ask them to chronicle what
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam
they have learned. This assignment never
and Eve were naked, but they weren't
embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been
invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God
by eating one bad apple, so they were
driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure
what they were driven in though, because
they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated

his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty
soon all of the early people died off,
except for Methuselah, who lived to be
like a million or something.
them His top ten
Commandments. These include don't lie,
cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your
neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad
word for bottom that I'm not supposed to
say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he
talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just
thought of one more: Humor they father
and they mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who

was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua
fought the battle of Geritol and the fence
One of the next important people was fell over on the town.
Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his
kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large After Joshua came David. He got to be king
boat and put his family and some animals by killing a giant with a slingshot.
on it. He asked some other people to join
him, but they said they would have to take
a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and

Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his
brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his
birthmark in exchange for some pot roast.
Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a
really loud sports coat.
He had a son
Another important Bible guy is Moses, named Solomon who had about 300 wives
whose real name was Charlton Heston. and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he
Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise
away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent to me. After Solomon there were a bunch
ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These of major league prophets. One of these
plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big
and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights whale and then barfed up on the shore.
every day with manicotti. Then He gave
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There were also some minor league
prophets, but I guess we don't have to
worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New
Testament. Jesus is the star of the New
Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a
barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn,
too, because my Mom is always saying to
me, "Close the door! Were you born in a
barn" It would be nice to say, "As a matter
of fact, I was.")
During His life,
Jesus had many arguments with sinners
like the Pharisees and the Republicans.
Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst
one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil
that they named a terrible vegetable after
him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many
leopards and even preached to some
Germans on the Mount. But the
Republicans and all those guys put Jesus
on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot
didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed
his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then
came back to life again. He went up to
Heaven but will be back at the end of the
Aluminum. His return is foretold in the
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book of Revolution.
Vestry Highlights
The Vestry met on July 13th. Highlights
include:
• Resolved that the awarding of live
animals or fish as prizes at parish
functions is banned.
• The phone in the elevator is now
operational and connects directly to
the Otis Elevator office
• A towing sign has been placed in the
parking lot advising that cars will be
towed at owner’s expense
A complete copy of the minutes for July
will be posted on the bulletin board after
they are accepted at the Vestry meeting in
August.
ALL SAINTS’ MEN’S CLUB
WHO WE ARE
 We are the men of All Saints’. All
male members of this congregation
are automatically members of the
club. How you choose to
participate is your individual choice.
WHAT WE ARE AND DO
 We are a group of men with many
skills. We will use these skills to
foster the spiritual and temporal
well being of our parish family, our
neighborhood and our community.
 We are a group of men with many
personalities. We will share these
personalities in a spirit of
camaraderie, good will and fun for
 the betterment of all whom we
encounter.
 We are a group of Christian men.
We will live our lives honoring that
and encompassing an ecumenical
spirit for all others.
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Two boys were walking home from
Sunday school after hearing a strong
sermon about the devil. One said to the
other, “What do out think about all this
Satan stuff?” The other boy replied,
“Well, you know how Santa Claus turned
out. It’s probably just your dad.”
August Celebrations
Happy Birthday!
1 – Richard Fitzgerald, Andy Wigent
8 –Ruth Brice, Robert Dawson, George
Hedgespeth
11 – Trinee James
15 – Jim Bowie
16 – Shannon Williams
18 – Catherine Craig, Ann Poole
19 – Mary Louise Pridmore
20 – Elaine Young
21 – Leord Wynn
24 – Dennis Daily, Mackenzie Fisher
26 – Shirley Knebel
 Bound Together
Summer Fun
Fifteen children enjoyed two weeks of
summer fun by attending Bound Together’s
summer camp program. In partnership with
the Creative Arts Center, the children were
instructed in the areas of art, music,
dance, and of course field trips were
included. The children had the opportunity
to visit the Cranbrook Science Center I-Max
theater to watch Star-Trek. They sat in
special chairs to simulate what it’s like to
be white water rafting and to feel how
powerful the rushing of the rapids can be.

The second field trip took them to the

Children’s Hands On Museum in Flint. At
the museum, the children spent the day
working on their own experiments and
observing experiments from instructors.
How excited everyone was when they
observed what happens when you mix pop
and Mementos together. The end result….
how high could the pop shoot up?
Thank you, Carol, and the staff at the
Creative Arts Center for another year of
summer camp fun.
Tuesday, August 4, 5:00-8:00 p.m.
Hispanic Outreach Services
76 Williams Street
Bring your family for an evening of fun as
we celebrate our new location with music
and refreshments
RSVP to hughesb@cssoc.org
Didya know?
Abby Brandenburg attends Michigan State
Univesity and just completed her freshman
year. Hooray! She is studying horticulture.
Over the winter holiday she visited the
local florist and garden center, Goldner-
Walsh. Then before summer vacation she
wrote them, offering to work without pay!
They accepted her generous offer and
liked her work so much that she now has a
paid position. Good plan and good work,
Abby!

Another addition to the service members

for whom we pray is Major Brett King, the

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son-in-law of Meg and Byron Love. Brett
and Heather have two children and live in
Colorado Springs. Brett flies C-17 cargo
planes and flew many overseas missions.
He now teaches at the Air Force Academy.

When the
lovely morning glory vines began their
climb, we discovered Michael Boron was
superman scaling the sides of tall
buildings! We asked Michael to describe his
secret method: he tied a loop on the end
of the rope and using his 15-foot tree pole
pruner, reached out from the platform
We welcome Alicia Williams, our new atop the outside staircase and hooked the
nursery attendant. end to the eavestrough bracket. He said it
was “just a matter of gravity”. Seems a
whole lot more to us, we’ll stock to the
Superman story! Thanks, Michael!

News, Please! Call Ann Poole

Alicia lives here
in Pontiac, having moved from Detroit four
years ago. She has worked at Crofoot
At a Glance
School and with Bound Together. This Congregational Life
summer she is employed by the Pontiac
Creative Arts Center, our next block
neighbor. Since Crofoot School has closed
and the students there will attend
Jefferson School, Alicia is hoping to work
there as well. We are glad she is here.

What did YOU think when the orange ropes

appeared on the parking lot side of the
Church? We heard several interesting PRAYER SHAWL
guesses; among them: preparation for The Prayer Shawl Ministry first met in the
hanging a large banner announcing winter of 2006. A group of interested
something. . .pig roast??? or something knitters gathered to knit shawls for those
else, repairs to the roof??? in physical, emotional or spiritual need
and to have fellowship together. Meetings
start with prayer as wool and needles are
plied in a contemplative setting. The

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shawls are prayed over as they are knit,
sometimes with intention for the known
recipient and sometimes with hope for the
unknown recipient. As shawls are
completed, they are gathered and
dedicated to God’s glory before being
given away. This group meets at 7:00 p.m.
the second Wednesday of each month Call
Carolyn Simpson for further details (248)
854-9136
CAREER NETWORKING GROUP
All Saints’ has established a career
networking group which will meet monthly.
If you are currently employed,
unemployed, looking for a new
opportunity, or can share your knowledge,
your input is valuable. For additional
information call Tony Skillman at 248-922-
0375.
MEN’S GROUP
All Saints’ men’s group meets the second
Monday of each month. Any questions
should be directed to John Meyer (335-
9194) jpmeyer9194@comcast.net.
like to receive a visit? This program is for
those who are home-bound, in hospital, or
residing in assisted living or nursing
facilities. This ministry of volunteers,
under the supervision of the Rev. Roger
Derby, provides this gift on an "as-needed"
basis. To schedule a visit, or if you are
interested in becoming a LEV, please
contact Roger Derby or the Rector.
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of
others cannot keep it from themselves.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for
whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he
also reap. Galatians 6:7
Meetings
AA AND NA MEETINGS
Mondays, 7 p.m., Westside AA

Our Lay Eucharistic Visitors (LEVs) are
trained and ready to offer Holy Eucharist
or to pray with those who are unable to
attend worship. Do you know someone who
is unable to come to church, but would
Mondays, 8:30 p.m., Keep Coming Back NA
Fridays, 11 a.m., Pike & Williams AA
Fridays, 7 p.m., Big Book AA

ALL SAINTS’ EPISCOPAL CHURCH

A warm and inclusive Christian community
in an accessible building
We are located on 171 West Pike St. at Williams St. in Pontiac. Services are held at 8 and
9:30 a.m. on Sundays and 12:10 p.m. on Wednesdays. The office is closed on Friday.

BULLETIN STAFF:
Rector: Rev. Karen Johanns
Parish Administrator: Norma Warner
Didya Know?: Ann Poole

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CONTACT US
Call: 248/334-4571
Write: P.O. Box 430357, Pontiac MI 48343
Visit our web site: www.allsaintspontiac.org
Email the church office:
allsaints@allsaintspontiac.org