David X

Humor INTRODUCTION ABOUT ME I fucked a Mexican, I fucked an Indian, I fucked a native Canadian Indian, I fucked !"ack, I fucked C#ine$e, I fucked %erman, Ru$$ian, I fucked ever& race' T#at (a$ one of m& )oa"$ t#at I #ad to accom*"i$# !efore I (ou"d $ett"e do(n' I even fucked an E$kimo t#at #ad no teet#' +#at a !"o(,o!I u$ed to )o to t#e !ar, *ick u* a )ir", !rin) #er #ome, fuck #er, and t#en I (ou"d )o !ack to t#e !ar and *ick u* anot#er one' I did t#at con$tant"&' At t#at time, I (a$ on"& $ati$fied if I #ad t(o (omen ever& ni)#t' After fuckin) t#e fir$t one, I (ou"d )o to t#e !ar and te"" t#e next )ir" (#at I #ad done' I.d $a& $omet#in) "ike, /0ou kno(, toni)#t I met a rea""& nice )ir", #er name (a$ Nanc&' And t#e rea$on I.m $ti"" #ere i$ !ecau$e $#e didn.t $ati$f& me'1 I "ived on $ex' And after I )ot tired of fuckin) an& *articu"ar (oman, I.d $a&, /M& friend Bruno i$ comin) over, and I (ant &ou to )ive #im $ome #ead toda&'1 +#& do &ou t#ink (omen are (it# *im*$2 T#ink a!out it- A *im* make$ #er fuck ton$ of )u&$ and $#e i$ (i""in) to do a"mo$t an&t#in) for #im' No(, I don.t con$ider *im*$ to !e mode" citi3en$, !ut t#e& do under$tand $omet#in) a!out (omen' And not on"& i$ $#e fuckin) for #im, $#e i$ !rin)in) #im t#e mone&- %u&$ (ou"dn.t do t#at for a (oman' A$ #orn& a$ (e are, mo$t of u$ (ou"dn.t do t#at, and if (e did, (e $ure a$ #e"" (ou"dn.t )ive #er t#e mone&- But t#e& do it for $ecurit&' Decide (#at &ou (ant and )o )et it' 4ome!od& recent"& a$ked me (#at I (ant for m& c#i"dren' I (ant m& kid$ to #ave enou)# confidence to do (#at t#e& (ant (it# t#eir "ive$, and to !e #a**&' I$n.t t#at (#at &ou (ant2 I.m on t#e road of "ife, and I kno( (#ere I.m )oin)' If $#e (ant$ to come (it# me, t#en $#e i$ (e"come' I.m not )oin) do(n #er road, I.m )oin) do(n m& road' +#en I.m ta"kin) to a (oman, $#e i$ in m& re$taurant, "ookin) at m& menu' And t#e menu i$n.t )oin) to c#an)e, un"e$$ I (ant it to c#an)e' C#a*ter 56 Bad Bo&$ I "ived in Texa$ for t(o &ear$ and (#en I came !ack to Montrea" I ca""ed u* t#i$ (oman t#at I u$ed to )o out (it#' And $#e (a$ extreme"& *i$$ed off at me for ,u$t )ettin) u* and "eavin) (it#out te""in) #er )ood!&e' I $aid, /0ou (ere t#e fir$t one I ca""ed' I.m "ookin) at m& "i$t and &ou came in (it# t#e

#i)#e$t ratin)' No( i$ t#ere a c#ance for me to come over or not2 I.m too #orn& to ar)ue'1 4#e $aid, /Come over'1 4o I (ent over and fucked #er' After I fini$#ed, $#e $7ua(ked for anot#er t(o #our$' I "et #er com*"ain 8(#o care$ (#at t#e& $a&9 (#i"e I (ent to $"ee*' In t#e mornin) $#e made me !reakfa$t and $7ua(ked for anot#er t(o #our$' :ina""& I a$ked, /Ho( "on) do I #ave to take &our com*"ainin) for2 Ho( muc# $7ua(kin) i$ t(o &ear$ in Texa$ (ort#21 And $#e $aid, /I.m a"mo$t done'1 Ho( muc# i$ t(o &ear$ in Texa$ (ort#2 0e$ I didn.t ca""' 0ea#, I fucked ton$ of ot#er (omen' No, I (a$n.t t#inkin) a!out &ou' 0ea#, &ea#, &ea#' 0ou.re $o ri)#t #one&Ok, fine, $#e.$ ri)#t' I.m a terri!"e man' But t#e& "ike !ad !o&$' Remem!er t#at 4einfe"d e*i$ode (#en %eor)e (a$ t#e !ad !o&2 He decided to do t#e com*"ete o**o$ite of (#at #e #ad a"(a&$ done, and a"" of a $udden #e #ad more (omen t#an ever- It.$ a fact t#at (omen "ike !ad !o&$' A "ot of t#em even admit it' /I ;O<E 0OU-1 No(, ever& once in a (#i"e, and e$*ecia""& a$ &ou "earn to deve"o* t#i$ attitude, a (oman (i"" te"" &ou t#at $#e "ove$ &ou' If &ou $a&, /I "ove &ou too=, t#en &ou>re fucked- 0ou mi)#t a$ (e"" c#o* off &our dick and #and it to #er' He (#o "ove$ "ea$t contro"$ t#e re"ation$#i*' If &ou (ant to contro" t#e re"ation$#i*, don>t fa"" in "ove (it# #er $o 7uick"&- Don>t to$$ t#e !a"" in t#eir court, contro" t#e !a"" at a"" time$' And &ou>ve )ot to !e re"ent"e$$ &ou can>t afford to !e "a3&' Remem!er, t#e *er$on (#o "ove$ t#e "ea$t contro"$ t#e re"ation$#i*' I #ave on"& $aid, /I "ove &ou= to t(o (omen in m& "ife' I married t#em !ot#' I te"" t#em, /+#en I te"" a (oman t#at I "ove #er, it>$ !ecau$e I>m a"$o *uttin) a rin) on #er fin)er'= +#en &ou $et a *recedent &ou #ave to $tick to &our )un$' If &ou te"" #er no, t#en "ater on for (#atever rea$on &ou a""o( #er, $#e (i"" vie( &ou a$ (eak' %ive t#em an inc# and t#e& (i"" take a mi"e' 4to* makin) excu$e$ and $to* makin) exce*tion$' +#en &ou $et a *recedent &ou can>t )o !ack' One of t#e !i) di$ea$e$ t#at #a**en$ to men t#at are in a re"ation$#i* i$ "a3ine$$' 0ou #ave to do (#at 0OU (ant re"ent"e$$"&' 0ou cannot )ive in ever' T#e& (ant t#e $tren)t# and t#e& (i"" "ove &ou for it' 0ou a"(a&$ #ave to !e on to* of t#e $ituation' +#at #a**en$ to mo$t )u&$ i$ t#at once t#e& fuck #er, t#e& do3e off' T#e& )et "a3&' It>$ t#e $ame t#in) (it# meetin) t#em' T#e fo""o( t#rou)# i$ im*ortant' No(, (#en $#e $teer$ t#e conver$ation to(ard $ex for exam*"e, I>"" $a& $omet#in) "ike, =0ou $eem to #ave $ex on &our mind more t#an I do'= Or I."" $a&, =I don>t (ant to ta"k a!out $ex ri)#t no('= +#en $#e a$k$ (#&, I."" $a&, =Becau$e I on"& "ike ta"kin) a!out $ex (#en I kno( I>m

)oin) to !e )ettin) $ome'= No( (#en $#e !rin)$ u* $ex a)ain I kno( I>ve )ot #er- 0ou a"(a&$ (ant to "ead t#e conver$ation ri)#t from t#e !e)innin)' I "ike to te"" t#em t#at ma&!e (e (on>t )et t#at far 8$ex9' Becau$e after I )et to kno( #er, I ma& not (ant $ex from #er' I te"" (omen t#at I>m not $ure if I (ant to $"ee* (it# t#em &et, I te"" t#em, =+e>"" $ee "et me )et to kno( &ou fir$t'= Don>t t#e& do t#at to u$2 I>m ,u$t doin) (#at t#e& do' +#en &ou te"" a (oman t#at &ou don>t kno( if &ou (ant to $"ee* (it# #er, $#e (i"" "ove &our confidence' +omen (ant a confident )u& (#o kno($ (#at #e (ant$' +#en &ou #ave $ta!"e$, (#en &ou #ave ? or @ )ir"friend$ at once, <a"entine.$ Da& can !e a rea" !itc# !ecau$e t#e& a"" (ant to !e (it# &ou on <a"entine$ Da&' I u$ed to )ive t#em a"" t#e $ame card' I (ent out and !ou)#t a !ox of <a"entine.$ Da& card$ and t#e& (ere a"" exact"& a"ike' And if I (a$ $ti"" (it# a (oman t#e next &ear, I )ave #er t#e exact $ame card a)ain' 4ometime$ t#e& (ou"d com*"ain and I.d $a&, /Can &ou ima)ine #o( #ard I "ooked to find t#e exact $ame card, !ecau$e it.$ t#e on"& card t#at can ade7uate"& ex*re$$ #o( I fee" a!out &ou'1 He&, I.m a romantic )u&- I.m not "&in)' I $aid, /Can &ou ima)ine21 I don.t "ie, !ut I don.t revea" ever&t#in) eit#er' A I )ive t#em t#e menu, and t#e& can c#oo$e from t#e menu' I.m not )oin) to c#an)e m& menu for an&one' It.$ m& menu' If I.m offerin) &ou meat, don.t a$k me for a *a$tr&' %o to t#e *a$tr& c#ef if t#at.$ (#at &ou (ant' He.$ cuteHe can.t )ive &ou (#at I can )ive &ou, !ut #e.$ cute' I t#ink t#ere.$ a "ot more (omen out t#ere (#o (ant (#at.$ on m& menu' T#ere.$ a "ot of di$#e$ on m& menu t#at a "ot of )u&$ don.t #ave' DEA;IN% +ITH BARENT4 +#en a (oman i$ $ti"" contro""ed !& #er *arent$, I te"" #er ri)#t a(a& t#at #er *arent$ (on.t "ike me and t#at I don.t (ant to )ive #er a #ard time' Not on"& am I !ein) #one$t !& te""in) #er t#i$, !ut it turn$ t#em on' If I $a&, /0our *arent$ (on.t "ike me1, ri)#t a(a& t#e& t#ink I.m a !ad !o&, and t#e& a"" (ant t#e !ad !o&' I don.t "ike to "ie to t#e *arent$ eit#er' I te"" t#em t#at I.m a$ !ad a$ t#e& t#ink I am' /I.m a$ !ad a$ &ou t#ink I am'1 +#en I (ant (omen to do t#in)$ for me, (#et#er it !e $exua" or an&t#in) at a"", I don.t a$k t#em, I te"" t#em' But I do it in a ver& c#armin) (a&' I don.t $a&, /Ma& I *"ea$e !u& &ou a drink21 I $a&, /+#at are &ou drinkin)21 I don.t a$k #er out on a date' I $a& $omet#in) "ike, /I (ant &ou to #ave dinner (it# me toni)#t'1 %et it2 I.m not a$kin) and I.m not demandin)' I.m te""in) t#em (#at I (ant in a confident and re$*ectfu" manner' I.m $#o(in) t#em (#at.$ on t#e menu'

/BUT 4HE.4 4OC1 0ou can.t treat a #ot one "ike $#e.$ a #ot one, and &ou can.t treat #er "ike &ou.re not tr&in) to treat #er "ike $#e.$ a #ot one and ma&!e $#e kno($ t#at &ou kno(' Read t#at a)ain, ,u$t to make $ure it $ink$ in' Becau$e if &ou do t#at &ou.re i)norin) #er !ecau$e $#e.$ #ot' Treat t#em a"" t#e $ame, no matter (#at t#e& "ook "ike' And remem!er t#at (#i"e &ou t#ink $#e.$ #ot, I ma& t#ink $#e.$ u)"&' +#at.$ t#e difference in #o( &ou treat a ten ver$u$ a one2 De*end$ on #o( #orn& &ou are' Next 7ue$tion' Ho( do &ou treat an D ver$u$ a five2 De*end$' Am I #orn&2 +#at a!out &oun) ver$u$ o"d2 Treat t#em a"" t#e $ame' 0oun) to me i$ *ro!a!"& o"d to &ou' I.m @A &ear$ o"d' 0ou #ave to $to* t#inkin) a!out t#em and in$tead t#ink of &ou' After a"", &ou are t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in t#e re"ation$#i*' /But $#e i$ ,u$t $oC1 :or)et it' T#e (#o"e orientation of $eduction *$&c#o"o)& i$ (ron), !& t#e (a&' It ,u$t train$ &ou to !e over ana"&tica" and cau$e$ &ou to for)et t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in t#e re"ation$#i*, &ou' 0ou can.t !e t#inkin) for #er' ;et #er do t#at' T#ink for &ou' In$tead of t#inkin), 1+#at doe$ $#e (ant21 t#ink a!out (#at &ou (ant and on"& &ou' Do it #one$t"& and com*"ete"&' +#at (i"" #a**en i$ it (i"" teac# &ou $omet#in) more va"ua!"e t#an mone& and more va"ua!"e t#an tec#ni7ue' It (i"" teac# &ou #one$t&' ? C#a*ter 5E Contro" +omen are con$tant"& te$tin) u$' I rea""& !e"ieve t#at' C#i"dren te$t &ou to $ee #o( far t#e& can )o, and (omen are t#e $ame' Bein) (it# c#i"dren can teac# &ou a "ot a!out #o( &ou $#ou"d !e (it# a (oman' A$ $oon a$ &ou )ive in, &ou "o$e' 0ou.ve fai"ed t#e te$t' An& *$&c#iatri$t (i"" te"" &ou t#at' Becau$e if &ou.re (i""in) to )ive in no(, t#en &ou.ve ,u$t demon$trated t#at &ou."" a"$o )ive in "ater' Once &ou.ve $et an exam*"e of $omet#in), it.$ too "ate' If &ou )ive in no( &ou.re makin) &our "ife more difficu"t "ater on' I>m tou)# (it# kid$, !ut t#e& "ove me' M& $on$ friend$ "ove me, I.m "ike t#e Bied Bi*er' +#&2 Becau$e t#e ru"e$ aren.t #ard to fo""o( (#en I "ive !& t#em a"$o' +#en I (anted m& $on to "earn #o( to $kate, I "earned $katin) too' T#at.$ (#& I can.t under$tand it (#en I $ee ot#er *arent$ &e""in) at t#eir kid$ and forcin) t#em to "earn #o( to $kate (#en t#e&.re not even (i""in) to "earn it t#em$e"ve$' I $ee t#at a"" t#e time no( t#at I #ave kid$' I)norant *arent$ t#at *u$# t#eir c#i"dren to $ucceed at t#in)$ and aren.t even (i""in) to )et on t#at ice and fa"" on t#eir o(n a$$e$' T#o$e !rui$e$ kee* me from !ein) a #&*ocrite'

0ou need to !e in contro" !ut not contro""in)' +#en I (a$ $ti"" datin), $ometime$ (omen (ou"d $tart to #ave a #i$$& fit, $a&in) t#in)$ "ike, /It.$ a"(a&$ &our (a&-1 and I (ou"d $a&, /I.m )"ad &ou remem!er t#e ru"e$'1 It.$ m& direction in "ife and I don.t care (#at t#e& $a&' I kno( (#at I (ant in m& "ife, and I kno( m&$e"f !etter t#an t#e& do' M& "ife i$ not a democrac&' 0OU.<E BEEN CONDITIONED TO BE A BU440 M& mot#er to"d me t#at I #ave to a$k for ever&t#in) *o"ite"&' /Can I *"ea$e fuck &ou toni)#t21 0our momm& meant (e"", !ut tr& to for)et #er advice, !ecau$e $#e "eft out t#e im*ortant $tuff' 0our momm& didn.t te"" &ou, /Treat a "ad& "ike a (#ore and treat a (#ore "ike a "ad&'1 0our momm& for)ot to mention, /+#o care$ (#at t#e& t#ink'1 4#e never to"d &ou t#at t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in t#e re"ation$#i* i$ &ou' And t#at.$ !ecau$e it.$ &our "ife' +omen don.t kno( (#at.$ )ood for &ou, &our mom doe$n.t kno( (#at.$ )ood for &ou, and I don.t kno( (#at.$ )ood for &ou' I.m not $a&in) t#at &our mot#er did an&t#in) (ron)' 0ou.re *ro!a!"& a ver& nice *er$on' But &ou.re not nice to &our$e"f, &ou.re nice to ot#er *eo*"e' 0ou.ve !een conditioned to !e a *u$$&' /4a& *"ea$e'1 /Be nice'1 /4#are &our to&$'1 /4a& t#ank &ou for t#at cookie'1 But in t#i$ (or"d toda&, (e.re findin) out t#at !ein) nice to certain *eo*"e i$ dan)erou$' +#en &ou )o out to meet (omen, &ou.re on dan)erou$ )round$' +#o kno($ (#at t#e$e (omen are "ike' 4ome of t#em #ave AID4, $ome of t#em are *ro$titute$, coke (#ore$, mani*u"ative cunt$, t#ieve$, murderer$, "iar$, t#e "i$t of fucked u* (omen )oe$ on and on' I.ve #ad (omen ri* me off (#i"e I (a$ takin) a *i$$' T#e& (ent into m& (a""et and took m& mone&' And t#e&."" c#eat on &ou )iven #a"f t#e c#ance' Do &ou #one$t"& !e"ieve t#at &our )ir"friend (ou"dn.t fuck %eor)e C"oone& !e#ind &our !ack2 +#at if Brad Bitt $#o(ed u* in #er "ife2 +ou"d $#e $tick around for &ou2 0ou.ve )ot to !e nice to &ou fir$t' /;ET.4 FU4T BE :RIEND41 +#at if $#e ,u$t (ant$ to !e friend$2 +#at if $#e.$ not Gover. #er ex2 0ou eit#er fuck #er or &ou don.t' It.$ !"ack or (#ite' T#ere can.t !e an& !ro(n, )ra&, or !"ue' 0ou.re not immorta"' If $#e.$ not Gread&., it u$ua""& mean$, /4tick around for no( unti" I find $omet#in) !etter'1 If #er favorite rock $tar a$ked #er out, do &ou t#ink $#e (ou"d $a&, /I.m (a$#in) m& #air toni)#t12 4#e (ou"d *ro!a!"& make time for #im- If $#e.$ not makin) time for &ou, t#at.$ ok' 4ome!od& e"$e (i""' T#ere.$ H !i""ion *eo*"e on t#e *"anet, and #a"f of t#em are "one"& (omen' And a funn& t#in) #a**en$ (#en &ou ,u$t $a& Gok. and (a"k a(a& effort"e$$"&' 4udden"& $#e ma& c#an)e #er mind' If

$#e doe$, )reat' ;et #er c#a$e after &ou for a (#i"e' 0ou #ave to rea"i3e t#at t#eir cunt$ aren.t more va"ua!"e t#an our cock$' +e>re !ot# after t#e $ame t#in) eac# ot#er' @ T#e ea$ie$t t#in) &ou can do i$ (a"k a(a& from a (oman' 0ou (on.t )et to fuck #er, !ut at "ea$t &ou (on.t #ave to *ut u* (it# #er indeci$ivene$$' 0ou (on.t #ave to !rin) #er a f"o(er, or an& of t#at $#it' Fu$t (a"k a(a&, en,o& &our freedom (#i"e it "a$t$' /+#at i$ it2 0our $ex i$ (ort# $o muc#2 %o )ive it to $ome!od& e"$e, I don.t (ant it'1 U$ua""& (#at #a**en$ (#en &ou fina""& do )et to ta$te t#e one.$ t#at )ive &ou $uc# a #ard time i$ &ou di$cover t#e&.re no )ood an&(a&' T#e& )ive u$ $uc# a #ard time in t#e !e)innin)' But (#at t#e&>re doin) i$ t#e&.re te$tin) &ou to $ee if &ou.ve )ot (#at it take$ to take )ood care of #er' T#e& don.t (ant a *u$$&' If &ou.re readin) t#i$, I t#ink t#at &ou need an a(akenin), &ou need a )ood kick in t#e a$$' I.m not te""in) &ou to u$e *attern$ and formu"a$ and #&*no$i$ and $u!"imina" me$$a)e$ and *#eromone$ and fanc& $*ort$ car$' I.m not a$kin) &ou to divide IH@ mu"ti*"ied !& t#e $7uare root of 6I minu$ 5'D *"u$ HD to t#e *o(er of $evenI.m te""in) &ou, /Jno( (#at &ou (ant, and te"" #er'1 I don.t (ant &ou to fo""o( m& G$&$tem.' I (ant &ou to fo""o( &our$' 0ou don.t #ave t#e confidence to te"" #er (#at &ou (ant2 T#en ma&!e &ou.re not #orn& enou)#, ma&!e &ou don.t (ant it !ad"& enou)#' Tr& !ein) a fa))ot' I don.t kno( (#at to te"" &ou' Make u* &our mind' 0ou don.t Ga"mo$t. fuck t#em' Eit#er &ou do t#em or &ou don.t' I #ad a ru"e, if I didn.t fuck t#em !& t#e t#ird date, t#e& (ere )one' T#ere (a$ no fourt#, fift#, or $eventeent# date (it# me' T#ere.$ on"& t#ree $trike$ in !a$e!a""' And I te"" t#em' I )ive ever& (oman ,u$t enou)# ro*e to #an) #er$e"f (it#' 4#e.$ t#e one (orr&in) a!out me' 0ou )u&$ are a"(a&$ (orried a!out t#em' But (#at if t#e& #ad to (orr& a!out "o$in) &ou2 0ou need to rea"i3e t#at &ou are a commodit&' 0ou )u&$ are $ittin) around ,erkin) off (#en t#ere.$ mi""ion$ of (omen out t#ere *uttin) on t#eir makeu* ever& mornin) #o*in) to attract &ou' I.m over(ei)#t, I $(ear "ike a $ai"or, and I.m not )ood "ookin)' But I never cared !ecau$e (omen don.t "ook at t#at' T#e& (anted to *"ea$e me' T#e& !rou)#t me t#eir friend$ and I (ou"d fuck t#em a""' T#e& (ou"d "ick m& a$$#o"e (#i"e I fucked t#eir friend$' T#e& "et me do (#atever I (anted to do' I u$ed to te"" (omen to (ait in t#e !edroom (it# t#eir a$$e$ $tickin) out, and I.d $end in m& friend$ to )o fuck t#em' T#e& did it to *"ea$e me' T#ere (a$ never a (eekend t#at I $at around t#inkin), /O#, #o( am I )oin) to )et "aid toni)#t21

C#a*ter 5A M& +a& Or T#e Hi)#(a&

0ou #ave to !e in contro" of ever& interaction' It.$ m& (a& or t#e #i)#(a&' :or exam*"e, if a (oman a$k$ &ou a 7ue$tion t#at make$ &ou uncomforta!"e, don>t an$(er it' 0ou are under no o!"i)ation to do an&t#in) t#at &ou don>t (ant to do' Be a man, and $#e (i"" re$*ect &ou for it, even if $#e $eem$ a"" u*$et' Fu$t $a&,=I don>t (ant to an$(er t#at 7ue$tion'= +#en $#e a$k$ (#&, ,u$t turn it around and $a&, =&ou don>t #ave an& $ecret$ from me2= +#at if $#e $a&$, =O# I can>t te"" &ou=2 :ine' T#at mean$ it (ork$ !ot# (a&$' If $#e doe$n>t (ant to te"" me $omet#in), I>m not )onna !e) #er to te"" me' 4ee, (e a"" #ave t#e ri)#t to kee* $ecret$, and it (ork$ !ot# (a&$' T#e (a& I $ee it, if $#e doe$n>t (ant to te"" me $omet#in), t#at ,u$t make$ it ea$ier for me to #o"d $ecret$' 4#e can #ave a"" t#e $ecret$ $#e (ant$' 0ou #ave to !e in contro" !ut not contro""in)' T#at mean$ !ein) in contro" of &our$e"f' If &ou freak out on #er !ecau$e $#e>$ (it##o"din) information, t#en &ou>re e$$entia""& te""in) #er t#at &ou o(n t#e ri)#t$ to #er t#ou)#t$' I $ee a"" t#e$e dum! )u&$ ar)uin) (it# t#eir (omen' I don>t ar)ue (it# t#em' 4#e can do (#atever $#e (ant$ and $o can I' 0ou $ee, if &ou ar)ue (it# t#em t#en &ou>re a *u$$&' It>$ m& (a& or t#e #i)#(a&' +#en &ou ar)ue, &ou are te""in) #er t#at &ou need #er to act in a certain (a& or $ee $omet#in) from &our *oint of vie( in order for &ou to !e #a**&' If &ou "ove $omeone $et t#em free' M& (omen kno( (#at t#e ru"e$ are and t#e& kno( t#at I>m *erfect"& (i""in) to (a"k if t#e& don>t o!e& t#e ru"e$' 0ou need to "earn to !e $tron) and deci$ive' Ru"e num!er oneK +#o care$ (#at t#e& t#ink' Becau$e (#at t#e& t#ink i$ irre"evant' %u&$ are con$tant"& a$kin) me #o( to #and"e a (oman (#o i$ a !itc#' +#o need$ #er2 If &ou (ant #er ,u$t for t#e $ex, fine' But I find t#at &ou (i"" !e muc# !etter off $"ee*in) (it# a *ro$titute t#at i$ ,u$t a$ )ood "ookin) an&(a&' Becau$e t#e *ro$titute (on>t )ive &ou an& #a$$"e, $#e (on>t (a$te &our time, and $#e (i"" *ro!a!"& !e a !etter fuck an&(a&- And $#e (i"" on"& co$t &ou a!out L6@5, (#erea$ t#e !itc# (i"" drain &ou emotiona""& and financia""&' Un"e$$ &ou>re me, of cour$e, and &ou "earn #o( to )et over &our fear$ of re,ection and t#ink out "oud' +#& (ou"d &ou (ant a !itc#2 4o $#e can t(i$t &ou around in knot$2 If &ou $ti"" (ant #er, t#en &ou fir$t need to remem!er t#e )o"den ru"eK Treat a "ad& "ike a (#ore, and treat a (#ore "ike a "ad&' If a (oman i$ $o )ood "ookin), (it# #er tit$ #an)in) out, $#e i$ actin) "ike a (#ore' 4o treat #er "ike t#e (#ore t#at $#e i$' Remem!er, ever& (oman i$ a (#ore exce*t for t(o of t#emK 0our mot#er and &our $i$ter'

Fu$t (atc# t#e ama3in) tran$formation t#at (i"" occur in a (oman (#en &ou treat #er t#i$ (a&' 4#e i$ )or)eou$, (ear$ red "i*$tick, ti)#t *ant$ $o &ou can $ee #er crotc#, and "et>$ #er tit$ #an) out for ever&one to $ee' No( (atc# (#at #a**en$ (#en $omeone "ike me (a"k$ u* and $a&$, =0ou>re $o fuckin> )ood "ookin), (#at do &ou c#ar)e a man to $"ee* (it# &ou2= And $#e>"" )et u*$et and $a&, =I>m no *ro$titute-= To t#at I re*"&, =+e"" &ou $ure foo"ed me0ou $ure act "ike one-= I am te""in) &ou )u&$, (#en &ou #it t#o$e !itc#e$ (it# a "ine "ike t#at, t#e& are $*eec#"e$$' 0ou>re t#e on"& )u& t#at came u* and ca""ed #er a (#ore' T#e re$t of t#em a"" t#ou)#t it, !ut (ere too afraid to $a& it' No( I kno( (#at &ou>re t#inkin)' 0ou>re afraid to $a& t#e$e kind of t#in)$ to (omen' T#ere &ou )o, &ou>re tr&in) to t#ink for HER a)ain' =But (#at (i"" $#e t#ink2= +#o care$' 4to* (orr&in) a!out )ettin) re,ected' Be rut#"e$$' Have t#e !a""$ to $a& and do (#atever t#e fuck &ou (ant to $a& and do' I

Bitc#e$
If &ou (ant to )o after t#e !i))e$t !itc#e$ in t#e (or"d, t#en I (i"" $#o( &ou #o(' But it (on>t !e ea$& in t#e !e)innin)' 4o $tart $ma"" and !ui"d' 0ou #ave to "earn to f"& a $ma"" air*"ane !efore t#e& (i"" "et &ou f"& t#e !i) I?I>$' 0ou need to t#ro( t#e$e !itc#e$ off !a"ance a "itt"e !it, and t#e (a& to do it i$ to ,u$t !e #one$t (it# t#em' Te"" #er t#e trut#' Te"" #er t#at &ou don>t care if $#e>$ )ood "ookin)' Te"" #er &ou>d rat#er !e a"one' Te"" #er $#e i$ "uck& to #ave t#o$e "ook$ !ecau$e no!od& (ou"d ta"k to #er ot#er(i$e' And $#e>$ "uck& t#at 0OU are ta"kin) to #er !ecau$e $#e i$ actin) "ike $uc# a !itc#' Te"" #er t#at if it (eren>t for t#at c#e$t, *eo*"e (ou"d ,u$t i)nore #er !ecau$e $#e>$ )ot $uc# a !ad attitude' T#ink out "oud' 0ou>re ,u$t !ein) trut#fu"' Ho( #ard cou"d it !e2 Te"" #er t#at $#e need$ a )u& "ike &ou to make *eo*"e t#ink t#at $#e i$ a *er$on of (ort#' Once &ou fina""& )et a (oman "ike t#at, $ex& and !itc#&, fuck #er and dum* #er' T#en "et #er c#a$e after &ou for a cou*"e of &ear$' Havin) #er c#a$e &ou and !e) &ou to make "ove to #er i$ )oin) to $ati$f& &ou a "ot more t#an an& or)a$m $#e can *o$$i!"& )ive &ou' +#en I $ee a (oman "ike t#at (#o i$ )rove"in), it make$ me $mi"e' +#& doe$ a )u& (ant a #ot c#ick2 Becau$e $#e !ecome$ #i$ tro*#&, and #e can $#o( #er off to #i$ !uddie$' ;et>$ face it, $#e mi)#t !e nice to "ook at, !ut (#en t#e "i)#t$ )o out and ni)#t and &ou are fuckin) #er, t#at *rett& face doe$n>t mean $#it' Her mout# mi)#t mean $omet#in), and #o( nice #er "i*$ are around &our dick, !ut t#e (a& $#e "ook$ i$ irre"evant at t#i$ *oint' T#e

on"& t#in) t#at matter$ (#en &ou>re in !ed i$ #o( )ood $#e make$ &ou fee", t#e (a& $#e move$, t#e (a& $#e $ound$, and t#e (a& $#e ta$te$' JEEBIN% THEM No(, )ettin) (omen i$ one t#in)' %ettin) t#em i$ ea$&' Jee*in) t#em i$ a (#o"e different $tor&' No( t#at i$ (#ere t#e #ard (ork come$ in' It>$ m& kind of attitude t#at kee*$ t#em !e))in) for more' 0ou )u&$ can>t afford to !e "a3& in a re"ation$#i*' 0ou #ave to kee* t#i$ attitude )oin) at a"" time$' And it>$ )oin) to take a "ot of #ard (ork to ac#ieve m& "eve" of confidence, "et>$ face it' 4tart $ma"" and !ui"d' 0ou>"" )et t#ere $oon enou)#' +#en I fir$t $tarted out, I "oved !i) tit$' I (a$ a Tit Man' T#en I !ecame an A$$ Man' T#en, I !e)an "ookin) fir$t at t#eir crotc#e$' Beaut& i$ in t#e e&e of t#e !e#o"der' +#at &ou "ike a!out a (oman I ma& not "ike' A "ot of it #a$ to do (it# t#e mood t#at &ou>re in a$ (e""' +#en &ou>re in a )ood, #a**& $tate, &ou ma& (ant a *rett& face to "ove' +#en &ou>re in a !ad mood, &ou ma& !e "ookin) for a nice !i) a$$ to fuck' T#ere (a$ a *eriod in m& "ife (#en I (a$ on"& doin) t#ree$ome$ and or)ie$' I cou"dn.t ,u$t fuck one )ir" an&more' Too !orin)I don>t c#a$e after (omen- I don>t !e), I don>t tr& to *"ea$e t#em' %u&$ are a"(a&$ (orried if t#e&>re )ood "ookin) enou)#' M& attitude i$ #e&, =M& dick i$ !etter t#an #i$ dick' Ta$te t#em !ot# &ou>"" $ee-= %u&$, ,u$t "et t#e (omen (orr& a!out t#eir o(n "ook$' T#e&>re )ood at it' ;ook$ mean not#in)' It>$ #o( &ou make a (oman :EE; t#at i$ im*ortant' And t#e& (ant a $tron) )u&' T#e& (ant a MAN, not a *u$$& t#at i$ (orried a!out #i$ "ook$' It>$ t#e "e$!ian$ t#at don>t (ant men' T#e& (ant *u$$ie$, t#e& (ant ma"e friend$ t#at are )a& and (on>t touc# t#em' ;e$!ian$ (ant a )u& to $a&, =0e$ dear' An&t#in) &ou (ant dear'= T#e& can a"" !e )ir"$ to)et#er' T#e& don>t (ant a manM t#e& (ant $omeone t#at t#e& can contro"' No(, t#e$e !road$ t#at (ant to "ead &ou around !& t#e no$e, a$ $oon a$ t#e& $tart to "ead &ou, a$ $oon a$ t#e& decide (#en and (#at, &ou>re )oin) to !e in trou!"e !ecau$e it>$ not #er ro"e' If &ou )ive t#e (oman in t#e re"ation$#i* a"" &our *o(er, if &ou )ive #er t#e $teerin) (#ee", &ou (i"" cra$#' %u&$ are a"(a&$ a$kin) me, =Ho( do &ou )et t#em !ack after a !reak u*2= Ea$&- Mo$t of &ou )u&$ are t#inkin) t#at (omen are com*"icated, !ut t#e&>re not' ;et me )ive &ou an exam*"e, to $#o( &ou #o( ea$& it rea""& i$' One time I (a$ doin) a con$u"tation (it# a )u&, and #e #ad t#i$ tendenc& to over com*"icate ever&t#in)' +#i"e (e (ere ta"kin), t#i$ (oman t#at I kne( ver& (e"" ca""ed me on t#e *#one' 4o after a minute of "i$tenin) to #er, I *ut do(n t#e *#one and continued on (it# t#e meetin)' 4#e (a$ ,u$t !"a!!in) a(a& ince$$ant"& a!out $omet#in) or ot#er'

And ever& cou*"e of minute$, I (ou"d *ick u* t#e *#one and )o,=UMHMM, UH#u#, 0ea#'= and *ut it do(n a)ain' After 6@ minute$ of t#i$, I *icked u* t#e *#one and to"d #er (#at I #ad done, I to"d #er #o( I #ad *ut t#e *#one do(n and i)nored #er for $o "on)' 4#e never !e"ieved it- +omen never !e"ieve (#at &ou te"" t#em' I don>t kno( (#&, !ut it>$ true' If &ou (ant to )et a )ir" !ack, tr& $a&in), =No matter #o( man& )ir"$ I>ve !een (it#, no matter #o( man& )ir"$ I meet, a"" I $ee i$ &our face in$tead of t#eir$' I need to $ee &ou a)ain'= T#at>$ it- Fu$t $a& t#at and $#e i$ &our$' Of cour$e, if &ou (ere a rea" a$$ to #er, if &ou treated #er "ike $#it, !eat #er u*, acted "ike a *u$$&, if $#e cau)#t &ou in !ed (it# a MAN, t#en &ou *ro!a!"& $#ou"d !e on t#e Ferr& 4*rin)er $#o(' Ot#er(i$e it>$ ea$&' Bein) romantic doe$n>t mean t#at &ou>re (eak' After &ou>ve )ot t#em, romance (i"" kee* t#em' 0ou #ave to !e #er fanta$&, #er kni)#t in $#inin) armor' T#at take$ #ard (ork' Anot#er (a& to )et #er !ack i$ to $end a $in)"e red ro$e to #er #ou$e, no name, no card' +ait a (eek, $end anot#er one' T#i$ time (it# a card, (it# no name, t#at $im*"& $a&$, =+#enever I $ee t#e$e f"o(er$, I t#ink of &ou, and I #ave to $end &ou one'= T#en &ou $end #er a t#ird f"o(er' +rite on t#e card, =No matter #o( man& )ir"$ I $ee, I on"& $ee &our face' Ca"" me' @@@ N5DI= 4#e (i"" ca"" &ou !ecau$e (omen "ove to #ear =I>m t#inkin) a!out &ou=' If &ou (ant a )ir" to tru$t &ou, it>$ ea$&' If &ou (ant #er to "ove &ou, it>$ ea$&' Fu$t te"" #er not to' +omen never !e"ieve (#at &ou te"" t#em' +#en I ta"k a!out #one$t&, tru$t, and re$*ect, I mi)#t $a& $omet#in) "ike, =But I don>t (ant &ou to tru$t me &et' Tru$t #a$ to !e earned' +#en &ou fee" &ou can tru$t me, &ou>"" "et me kno('= A$ $oon a$ &ou te"" #er t#at &ou don>t (ant #er to tru$t &ou, $#e (i""' %u&$ a$k me a"" t#e time, =Ho( do &ou )et a )ir" to $(a""o(2= Too ea$&' One t#in) &ou can tr& i$ to te"" #er t#at no (oman can make &ou cum (it# #er mout#' Te"" #er t#at "ot$ of (omen #ave tried, !ut none #ave ever $ucceeded' Te"" #er $omet#in) "ike t#at and $#e (i"" ri$e to t#e c#a""en)e' T#en, after $#e make$ &ou cum, &ou $a&, /+O+- 0ou>re ama3in)- No!od& #a$ E<ER !een a!"e to do t#at-= Becau$e if &ou te"" a (oman t#at &ou can>t cum from a !"o(,o!, $omet#in) in$ide #er (i"" )o,=OH 0EAH2= T#e& "ike t#e c#a""en)e' NEED INBUTK One of m& favorite ,oke$ i$ a ,oke t#at can te"" &ou a "ot a!out t#e (a& &ou #ave to "ook at t#in)$' T(o (omen meet in :"orida' One #a$ a married $on, t#e ot#er #a$ a dau)#ter t#at>$ married' 4o, t#e (omen !um* into eac# ot#er on t#e $treet, and one of t#em $a&$ to t#e ot#er, =He"en, #o( are &ou2 Ho(>$ t#e fami"&2= T#e ot#er (oman $aid, /M& dau)#ter ,u$t )ot married'''$#e cou"d #ave done !etter' He i$ nice to #er and

!rin)$ #er )rocerie$ and $tuff, !ut #e $ti"" make$ #er do t#i$ and t#at and t#e ot#er'''#e>$ not )ood enou)# for m& dau)#ter' And &ou'''#o( i$ &our $on2= =He )ot married too- He married a rea" !itc#'''$#e make$ #im )o to t#e )rocer& $tore, $#e make$ #im ,um*, $#e )ive$ #im $#it, T#ere>$ *"ent& for u$ out t#ere' +omen are ever&(#ere- Bu$e$, !ook$tore$, *"ane$, train$, ever&(#ere- But &ou need to !e t#e one drivin)' 0ou $a&, /FUMB-= and t#e& )o, /Ho( #i)#2= I am a )ent"eman, !ut I>m $ti"" a mac#o *rick (#o )re( u* in t#e I5>$ and D5>$' I>m a man, and $#e doe$ (#at I "ike' If $#e doe$n>t "ike it, t#en t#ere are ot#er (omen out t#ere' In m& #ou$e t#ere>$ a dictator$#i*, not a democrac&' T#e $ame i$ true for m& em*"o&ee$' M& em*"o&ee$ don>t )et to vote for (#at i$ ri)#t in M0 !u$ine$$' +#&2 Becau$e t#at>$ t#e (a& I (ant to run m& "ife' I kno( (#ere I am )oin) in m& "ifeM I kno( (#at I (ant for m&$e"f' It>$ ea$& to )et !ack t#e o"d one$, !ut I don>t "ike to do t#at' If &ou (ant to )et #er !ack, I can te"" &ou exact"& (#at &ou do, and if &ou fo""o( m& ex*"icit advice &ou>"" )et #er !ack' But mo$t of &ou $#ou"d ,u$t "et #er )o and move for(ard, !ecau$e (#en &ou )et #er !ack &ou>"" $udden"& remem!er (#& &ou !roke u* in t#e fir$t *"ace- I find t#at t#e main rea$on men (ant to move !ack(ard$ #a$ to do (it# *ride' Men #ave a"(a&$ #ad too muc# *ride an&(a&, $o kno( more' ;ife i$ a $erie$ of mi$take$, and t#e 7uicker &ou can "earn t#o$e tou)# "e$$on$ and move on''' I (a$ t#e fir$t )u& out of a"" m& friend$ to )et #i$ o(n a*artment' In t#o$e da&$, "ife (a$ a "itt"e too )ood' I>d come #ome from (ork and t#ere (ou"d !e A or ? )ir"$ t#ere' I>d (a"k in and $a&, /+#o.$ #orn&2= I>d fuck t#em !efore I even took a $#o(er' T#en a friend or t(o of mine (ou"d come over and I (ou"d a$k, /+#ic# one of &ou )ir"$ (ant$ to fuck #im, and (#ic# one (ant$ to fuck m& ot#er friend2= A"" of m& friend$ u$ed to )et "aid in m& a*artment' AHHH'''t#e )ood o"d da&$A$ a commodit&, men don>t "ook at t#e $tati$tic$' Men are more in demand t#an (omen are' T#e& make u$ t#ink it>$ t#e ot#er (a& around, !ut it>$ notBut (e>re $tu*id, (e t#ink (it# our *ecker$' 0ou $#ou"dn>t !e afraid to a$k for (#at &ou (ant' I "ike (omen (#o kno( #o( to cook, $o I a$k t#em if t#e& kno( #o( to cook' Have #er cook &ou a mea" or t(o to find out' I a"$o need to kno( #o( t#e& "ive' +#o i$ #er room mate2 Doe$ $#e kee* #er #ou$e c"ean2 I a"$o need to meet #er friend$, and t#at>$ ver& im*ortant if &ou>re "ookin) to #ave a re"ation$#i* (it# #er' 0ou are (#o &our friend$ are' If $#e #a$ a "ot of $in)"e friend$, &ou>re in trou!"e' 0ou>re fucked, !ecau$e #er $in)"e friend$ (i"" $a!ota)e t#e re"ation$#i* !ecau$e t#e& (ant #er to remain $in)"e'

No(, I don>t (ant &ou to !e me, I (ant &ou to !e 0OU' 4tart !& !ein) #one$t (it# &our$e"f' T#e& don>t (ant a )u& (#o i$ ea$&' 4ee, (e (ant a (oman t#at>$ ea$&, !ut not t#em- If &ou )o around $a&in), /Me too,= &ou (i"" "o$e t#em' T#e& (ant a $tron) )u& t#at make$ t#em fee" $ecure' B#&$ica" $tren)t# i$ irre"evant' 0ou need to !e menta""& $tron) and kno( (#at &ou (ant to do in "ife' 0ou need to !e deci$ive' I am t#e dictator of m& o(n "ife and m& re"ation$#i*$' 0ou can>t re"& on t#e (oman to take )ood care of &ou' 4#e (ant$ 0OU to !e t#e $tron) one to take t#e "ead' Not ever& (oman i$ )oin) to (ant to )o (#ere &ou (ant to )o' But &ou $#ou"d never #ave to com*romi$e &our$e"f for #er' 0ou $#ou"d kno( (#at &ou (ant out of "ife and not !e afraid to )o )et it' +omen find t#i$ ver& attractive' Read Co$mo*o"itan and &ou>"" $ee' T#e fir$t t#in) (omen (i"" $a& a!out a fai"in) re"ation$#i* i$, /+e ,u$t aren>t communicatin) an&more'= 4o make $ure &ou $a& ri)#t from t#e !e)innin) of t#e re"ation$#i* t#at &ou need a (oman t#at can communicate' Not on"& (i"" t#i$ attract #er initia""&, !ut t#i$ )ive$ &ou )reat "evera)e "ater on' %u&$ a$k me a"" t#e time #o( to dea" (it# a )ir"friend t#at f"irt$ (it# ot#er )u&$' U$ua""& (#at t#e& do i$ te"" #er to $to* it' T#at rare"& (ork$, !ecau$e $#e (i"" t#ink t#at &ou are too in$ecure' If &our )ir"friend i$ f"irtin) (it# ot#er men, t#en &ou $#ou"d !e *ickin) u* ot#er (omen' If $#e>$ #untin) t#en &ou $#ou"d !e #untin)' And if $#e com*"ain$, te"" #er to fuck off' Te"" #er t#at if $#e (ant$ to f"irt, t#en &ou are )oin) to f"irt' I>ve even )one a$ far a$ to "eave (it# anot#er (oman ri)#t in front of #er' +#& (ou"dn>t I2 It>$ t#e $mart t#in) to do' Man& &ear$ a)o, I (a$ drivin) in m& converti!"e (it# a (oman, and a"" t#e trucker$ (ere $tarin) at #er !ecau$e $#e ,u$t #a**ened to #ave no $#irt on4#e *ut #er !oo!$ on di$*"a& for ever&one to en,o&' 4o (e $to**ed at a )a$ $tation, and a$ I came out, t#i$ )or)eou$ (oman a$ked me if I #ad an& !oo$ter ca!"e$' 4#e $aid t#at $#e ,u$t (anted to )ive #er car !ack to #er ex !o&friend $o t#at $#e cou"d "eave for Hou$ton' 4o I to"d #er t#at I cou"d !rin) #er to Hou$ton, !oo$ted #er car and fo""o(ed #er to #er ex !o&friend.$ (#ere $#e "eft t#e car and #o**ed in (it# u$' 4o no( I #ad t(o (omen in m& car, and t#e& (ere !ot# )or)eou$' One t#e (a& to Hou$ton, (e $to**ed for dinner, ate, and c#ecked into a mote"' I a$ked t#e )u& at t#e mote", /Do &ou #ave a room (it# one !i) !ed2= T(o $ma"" !ed$ *u$#ed to)et#er (a$ t#e !e$t #e cou"d do' T#e )ir"$ (ere #e"*in) me *u$# t#e t(o !ed$ to)et#er- I didn>t a$k if t#e& fe"t comforta!"e (it# it, I ,u$t took t#e "ead and a$$umed t#at t#e& (ou"d !ot# !e $"ee*in) (it# me' And t#e& did'

No(, t#e (oman I *icked u* at t#e )a$ $tation (a$ T+ICE a$ )ood in !ed a$ t#e ot#er one, $o I to"d #er to (ait for me in t#e #ote" room' T#en I (ent do(n$tair$ and to"d t#e c"erk t#at it (ou"d take me ? #our$ to dro* off t#e ot#er )ir" and come !ack, and a$ked #im to "et #er $ta& in t#e room' He $aid OJ, $o I )ra!!ed t#e )ir" and off (e (ent' A$ I (a$ drivin) #er #ome, $#e a$ked me if I (a$ dum*in) #er and I $aid &e$' I $aid, /;ook, I>m $orr&, !ut t#i$ ne( )ir" i$ !etter in !ed'= 4#e $tarted cr&in) and !e))in) me to )ive #er anot#er c#ance' +#& did I do t#i$ to #er2 4#e )ot (#at $#e de$erved for takin) #er $#irt off in t#e !e)innin) and f"irtin) (it# a"" t#o$e truck driver$No(, "et>$ ta"k a "itt"e !it a!out a $*ecia" !reed of (omen t#at I ca"" C"in) on$' C"in) on$ are ,ea"ou$, in$ecure, and ver& *o$$e$$ive' T#e& never (ant &ou to "ook at ot#er (omen, t#e& (ant to !e (it# &ou a"" t#e time, and t#e& are ver& ea$i"& #urt' T#ere>$ t(o (a&$ &ou can #and"e a C"in) on' In t#e !e)innin) of t#e re"ation$#i*, I "ike to te"" C"in) on$ t#at I>m t#e kind of )u& t#at need$ to !e around (omen' I te"" t#em t#at (omen are "ike f"o(er$ to me, and t#at I need to !e in a f"ori$t $#o*' Can &ou #and"e me $"ee*in) (it# anot#er (oman2 I te"" #er t#at I #ave to $"ee* (it# ot#er (omen' If $#e )ive$ in and $a&$ &e$, t#en &ou>ve #and"ed #er !eautifu""&' If $#e $a&$ no, t#en &ou dum* #er' 0ou>re !etter off (it#out #er' I "ike to !e #one$t (it# t#em u*front to avoid an& #a$$"e$ "ater on' 0ou (i"" find t#at t#e C"in) on$ (i"" acce*t &ou $"ee*in) (it# ot#er (omen, if &ou TE;; THEM t#at &ou>re $"ee*in) (it# ot#er (omen' T#at>$ !ecau$e t#eir (or$t ni)#tmare i$ NOT t#at &ou $"ee* around (it# ot#er (omen, t#eir (or$t ni)#tmare i$ NOT JNO+IN% ABOUT IT' T#e& find it $o #orri!"e to NOT JNO+, t#at te""in) t#em t#e trut# in advance actua""& rea$$ure$ t#em' T#ere>$ a "ot of t#in)$ &ou can do to kee* t#em in "ine' I a"(a&$ "ove it (#en a (oman "ick$ m& a$$#o"e !ecau$e it )ive$ me incredi!"e "evera)e in t#e re"ation$#i*' :rom t#en on, an&time $#e $tart$ )ivin) me a #ard time, I ,u$t $a&, /A (oman (#o "ick$ m& a$$#o"e doe$n>t ta"k to me t#at (a&-= It>$ a "ot !etter t#an a *unc# in t#e no$e- +#at can $#e $a&2 T#at I>m a *i)2 He&, it (a$n>t M0 ton)ue do(n t#ereI (ant &ou to *icture a room t#at #a$ a $#ot)un, a mac#ete, a mac#ine )un, $ome d&namite, a fe( #and)un$, and t#e (ord Gfriend. in it' Becau$e t#e (ord Gfriend. i$ one of #er ma,or (ea*on$' It.$ t#e on"& (ea*on t#at can make &ou danceNo(, I kno( a "ot of )u&$ t#at are (i""in) to #an) out (it# (omen and *retend to !e t#eir friend and c#a$e after t#em and fo""o( t#em around to )o $#o**in)' I kne( a )u& (#o trave"ed #a"f (a& around t#e (or"d to !e a "ad&.$ friend- And #e (ou"d (atc# #er )et do""ed u* to )o out and $"ee* (it# ot#er )u&$ !ut cou"dn.t do an&t#in) !ecau$e t#e& (ere Gfriend$.' He

(a$, of cour$e, $ecret"& in G"ove. (it# #er, !ut (a$ afraid to !e #im$e"f I )ue$$' I.m )"ad t#at t#ere are a "ot of men "ike #im in t#e (or"d, !ecau$e it mean$ more (omen for meHere i$ a !i) *ro!"em t#at a "ot of &ou )u&$ #ave' 0ou ta"k a!out com*anion$#i*' 0ou ta"k a!out (antin) to #ave a re"ation$#i* (it# a (oman, and t#en &ou ta"k a!out #ot c#ick$, and #o( man& &ou can or can.t )et' +#ic# do &ou (ant22 0ou #ave to )o do(n Road Definite' 0ou #ave to !e con)ruent a!out (#atever it i$ t#at &ou (ant, e$*ecia""& (it# (omen' +#en I (a$ "ookin) for a (ife, I )ot m& (ife, I )ot m& kid$, and t#at.$ (#at I (anted' And (#en I (anted to !e $in)"e, I (a$n.t out t#ere "ookin) for M$' Berfect' I didn.t t#ink a!out an&t#in) ot#er t#an fuckin)' In fact, fuckin) (a$ m& #o!!&' Different !odie$, different $t&"e$, different (a&$' +#en I (a$ &oun), I #ad a recurrin) fanta$& a!out *ickin) u* a #itc##iker' 4o I did it' I *icked u* #itc##iker$' I (ou"d $a& to t#em, /I can.t !e"ieve t#i$- I (a$ ,u$t fanta$i3in) a!out t#i$ exact $ame $ituationEver&t#in) &ou.re $a&in) i$ exact"& (#at I (a$ fanta$i3in)- T#i$ i$ $o coo"-1 T#e& (ou"d $a&, /Rea""&2-1 T#e& (ere ama3edI )ot $o !ored, and it (a$ $o ea$& t#at I $tarted te""in) (omen t#at I (orked for t#e CIA' T#e dan)er turn$ t#em on' I u$ed to $a&, /Ca"" me from t#e *#one !oot#, and (#atever &ou do, do NOT ca"" me from &our #ou$e-1 I #ad one (oman (ait for me at a *#one !oot# for four $trai)#t #our$One time I #ad a date (it# a (oman (#o $eemed rea""& nice and $(eet on t#e *#one, !ut a$ $oon a$ $#e )ot in m& car, $#e *roceeded to te"" me #er $c#edu"e' 4#e #ad to )o to t#i$ re$taurant in t#i$ *art of to(n and #er friend$ (ere )onna !e t#ere and t#en (e (ere )onna drive !ack t#i$ (a& and )o to t#i$ #ote" and $ta& for t#i$ amount of time and t#en to t#i$ c"u! and on and on' 4o I $aid, /Did &ou fee" t#at21 And $#e $aid, /+#at21 I $aid, /I t#ink t#ere.$ $omet#in) unex*ected #a**enin) (it# m& car'1 4#e $aid,1Hu#21 4o I *u""ed over and $aid, /Ho* out and take a "ook at t#e !ack tire, and te"" me if it "ook$ f"at'1 4o $#e )et$ out of t#e car and $a&$, /It "ook$ fine to me'1 And I $aid, /Ma&!e to &ou it doe$-1 and rode off' Becau$e if I (ou"d #ave driven #er around a"" ni)#t "ike $#e (anted me to, I (ou"d #ave !een #er *u**& forever' I don.t (ear a "ea$# for an&!od&' +#en it come$ to (omen, never undere$timate t#e *o(er of denia"' He drink$, #e i$ an)r&, vio"ent, treat$ #er "ike $#it, and even after a"" t#at $#e can convince #er$e"f t#at #e "ove$ #er, and $#e $ta&$' +omen are actua""& (i""in) to "ie to t#em$e"ve$ a!out t#e men t#e& are (it#' %u&$ do it too, !ut (omen definite"& !eat u$ in t#at de*artment' 4#e $ta&$ for #i$ $tren)t#, for t#e $ecurit& $#e fee"$ (#en $#e.$ (it# #im' I (ou"d never dream of *#&$ica""& #urtin) a (oman, and I.ve never #it a (oman' I don.t need to' I #it t#em

(it# #one$t&, tru$t and re$*ect, and t#at (ork$ a "ot !etter t#an a *unc# in t#e no$e' If &ou offend a )ir" !& !ein) /too #one$t1 and &ou $en$e $#e i$ turned off t#en &ou (i"" need to #and"e it' One (a& i$ to $a&, /I.m kiddin)- I.m kiddin)-1 and $#e (i"" u$ua""& ca"m do(n and $a& $omet#in) "ike, /T#at (a$ *rett& rude1 and t#en I."" "o(er m& voice com*"ete"& and $a&, /+e"" I rea""& (a$n.t kiddin)1' 8;au)#ter9 0ou can te$t t#em "ike t#e& te$t &ou' /+anna fuck21 and if $#e re$*ond$ (e"" &ou take #er #ome and if $#e )et$ a"" *i$$& &ou te"" #er #o( &ou.re ,u$t kiddin)' Actua""&Cno' I.m not kiddin)- T#i$ i$ one t#at &ou can a"(a&$ come !ack to' Fu$t kiddin)Cno I.m not' 0ou a"(a&$ kee* contro" of t#e $ituation' Contro" i$ vita"' If $#e $a&$, /%et t#e fuck a(a& from me1, &ou "eave' 0ou."" find t#at )ettin) re,ected rare"& #a**en$ (#en &ou )et out t#ere and $tart !ein) #one$t to (omen' +omen are !rou)#t u* to *uni$# &ou (#en &ou.ve !een !ad' T#e& *uni$# !& !ein) !itc#& and !& (it##o"din) $ex' If t#e& tr& to *uni$# me I take contro" of t#e $ituation immediate"&' /0ou.re ri)#t, #one&, I.m a *i), a$$#o"e, cock $ucker, $"ime !a), $"ea3e !a"", *iece of $#it incon$iderate conceited ,erk1' B& encoura)in) #er G!ad. !e#avior &ou are takin) contro" of it' I don.t ar)ue (it# t#em, !ecau$e it.$ m& (a& or t#e #i)#(a&' If &ou )et defen$ive &ou.re actua""& )ivin) u* contro"' If t#e re"ation$#i* $tart$ to )et too fucked u*, i'e', t#e $ex i$n.t (ort# t#e #a$$"e, don.t (a$te &our time tr&in) to re*air t#e re"ation$#i*, ,u$t "eaveDon.t (a$te &our time' +#en &our car i$ )ivin) &ou too man& *ro!"em$ and &ou )et fed u* of fixin) it, do &ou ar)ue (it# t#e car for ei)#t more mont#$ ,u$t to $ee if it (i"" )et !etter (it# time2 0ou $to* inve$tin) &our time and mone& on t#at car and $tart *uttin) &our ener)& into findin) a !etter one' +e a"" #ave different to"erance "eve"$ for #o( muc# cra* (e are (i""in) to take in our re"ation$#i*$' I #ave a "o( to"erance for !u""$#it' I (ant (#at I (ant and I am una$#amed !& it'

C#a*ter 5? Hone$t&, Tru$t And Re$*ect

0ou.re a"$o entit"ed to c#an)e &our mind a!out t#in)$' +#at.$ a )ood deci$ion toda& (on.t nece$$ari"& !e )ood for &ou tomorro(' +#en I (anted to !e a *"a&!o&, I en,o&ed t#at "ife$t&"e' But eventua""& I t#ou)#t, 1He&- I.m ?@ and I (ant kid$'1 4o I )ot married a)ain and #ad $ome kid$' I don.t (ant to !e too o"d for t#em' And I (a$ read& at t#at $ta)e to $to* !ein) a *"a&er !ecau$e I.ve done it a""' I $ati$fied m& t#ir$t, and !o& (a$ I t#ir$t&And (#en it come$ to re$*ect, I re$*ect a (oman ver&, ver& muc#' And a"(a&$' If I *ut m& #and on #er t#i)#, and $#e $a&$ no, I remove it

immediate"&' 0ou don.t (ant m& #and on &our "e)2 :ine' I don.t tea$e &ou "ike &ou.re tea$in) me, !ut fine' If $#e $a&$, /I don.t (ant to !e (it# &ou1, I cea$e #ittin) on #er immediate"&, forever' +a"kin) a(a& from t#em i$ t#e ea$ie$t t#in) in t#e (or"d' A"" &ou #ave to do i$ *ut one foot in front of t#e ot#er unti" $#e.$ )one' Eit#er t#at or *retend t#at $#e.$ )one' +#o (ere (e ,u$t ta"kin) a!out2 A friend of mine #ad a ver!a" ar)ument (it# #i$ )ir"friend' And t#i$ i$ a true $tor&' 4#e ca""ed t#e co*$ on #im and #ad #im removed from #i$ o(n #ou$e, fi"ed a re$trainin) order on #im, and #e #ad to *a& t#ou$and$ of do""ar$ in "e)a" fee$ to )et #er to "eave t#e #ou$e' +omen #ave a "ot of *o(er, too' T#e& can $cream Gra*e. or an& $imi"ar (ord and it cou"d co$t &ou &our re*utation' And "et.$ face it, $ome (omen are cra3&' If &ou (ant to !e a *"a&!o& &ou.re )onna "earn t#at t#e #ard (a&' Hone$t& i$ t#e GTrue Nort# Brinci*"e. of $eduction and $eem$ to me to !e t#e #arde$t one to teac#' Beo*"e ,u$t )o, /Hone$t&' Ok, )ot itC Next-1 and t#en t#e& (ant to #ear t#e next *icku* "ine or $trate)&' T#e& don.t (ork at "earnin) #o( to inte)rate #one$t& into t#eir "ive$' But t#e 4out# Bo"e and t#e Nort# Bo"e don.t c#an)e, and neit#er do t#e main *rinci*"e$K /+#o care$ (#at $#e t#ink$1 and /I am t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in t#i$ re"ation$#i*'1 If &ou can "earn t#o$e t(o ru"e$, &ou.ve )ot it made and &ou (i"" never need an& out$ide #e"* a)ain' 0ou (i"" fina""& kno( exact"& (#at to $a& to t#em and #o( to act (it# t#em' T#e& "ove me !ecau$e I.m #one$t' I>m more #one$t (it# t#em t#an mo$t of &ou (i"" ever !e' I.m not te""in) &ou to !e "ike me' Becau$e m& #one$t& and &our #one$t& are t(o different anima"$' 0ou can.t !e me, &ou can.t !e Fame$ Bond, &ou can.t !e t#em $o (#& even tr&2 +#en &ou $tart to deve"o* more and more $e"f #one$t& in &our$e"f, &ou."" $tart to fee" !etter, and (#en &ou $tart fee"in) !etter, t#e (omen (i"" notice' 0ou (on.t !e"ieve t#e re$*on$e$ &ou."" )et from t#em- Hone$t& i$ a $car& t#in), and $ome of t#em can.t #and"e t#e trut#' Hone$t&' Tru$t' Re$*ect' It.$ one t#in) to demand t#em from #er, !ut can &ou ma$ter t#em &our$e"f2 ;et me a$k &ou anot#er 7ue$tion' Ho( can &ou !e afraid of $omet#in) t#at (i"" $et &ou free2 +e don.t rea"i3e #o( (e con$tant"& "ie to our$e"ve$ to *rotect our e)o' Hone$t&, tru$t and re$*ect are /True Nort#1 *rinci*"e$ t#at never c#an)e' T#e& are *art of t#e !a$ic fa!ric of "ife' Hone$t&, tru$t and re$*ect are natura" "a($ in t#e #uman dimen$ion t#at are ,u$t a$ rea" a$ )ravit& and $ea$on$ and t#e rotation of our *"anet around t#e $un' T#e& are unc#an)in) *rinci*"e$, no exce*tion$' And (#en &ou vio"ate t#e natura" "a($ of re"ation$#i*$, &ou create di$#armon&'

Do &ou #ave em*"o&ee$2 T#e )reate$t force t#at &ou can u$e to motivate $omeone (it# i$ tru$t' Tru$t !rin)$ out t#e ver& !e$t in *eo*"e' But it take$ time and *atience and it doe$n.t *rec"ude t#e nece$$it& to train and deve"o*' It>$ ver& #ard to train an em*"o&ee if #e or $#e doe$n>t tru$t &ou to $ome de)ree' And t#at.$ (#ere t#e #one$t& come$ in' +#en &ou.re #one$t (it# *eo*"e, t#e& !e)in to tru$t &ou at t#eir o(n rate and $*eed' T#e& a"" $a& t#e& (ant to meet a )u& (#o.$ #one$t, &et t#e& can.t #and"e #one$t&' It>$ ironic' I "ike t#at' It *ut$ me in t#e driver.$ $eat' 0ou.re *ro!a!"& not )ettin) t#em no(, $o #o( muc# "e$$ cou"d &ou !e )ettin) t#em2 Take a fuckin) c#ance' Tr& !ein) tota""& #one$t (it# (omen' I $to**ed countin) at @55' I #ad >$ta!"e$> 8!et(een A and I )ir"friend$ $imu"taneou$"&9 from 6ND? unti" 6NDN' Beo*"e a$k, =Did &ou te"" &our )ir"friend$ a!out eac# ot#er2= And t#at>$ a )ood 7ue$tion' No(, ear"& on in m& "ife I di$covered t#at (omen never !e"ieve (#at &ou te"" t#em an&(a&, $o &ou mi)#t a$ (e"" te"" t#em t#e trut#' 4ee, (omen are ma$ter$ of $e"f dece*tion' If t#e& a$k, =+#at did &ou do "a$t ni)#t2= and &ou re$*ond, =I (ent out (it# anot#er )ir"=, $#e."" ,u$t $a&, =0ea#, (#at did &ou rea""& do "a$t ni)#t2= T#e trut# $#a"" $et &ou free' I often ta"k a!out t#e t#ree mo$t im*ortant va"ue$ in a re"ation$#i*' In order, t#e& are #one$t&, tru$t, and re$*ect' I "ike to a$k (omen, =+#at do 0OU t#ink are t#e mo$t im*ortant va"ue$ in a re"ation$#i*2= And u$ua""& t#e& (i"" te"" me t#in)$ "ike communication, re$*ect, #umor, etc' +ron)' And it>$ not o*en for di$cu$$ion, eit#er' 4o I>"" $a&, =0ou>re a"mo$t ri)#t=, !ut if t#e& $a&, =Hone$t&, tru$t, and re$*ect= I>"" $a&, =+O+- 0ou>re t#e fir$t one to #it it ri)#t on-= Hone$t&, tru$t and re$*ect' Te"" #er t#at &ou en,o& !ein) o*en and $a&in) (#at>$ rea""& on &our mind' Te"" #er #o( muc# &ou en,o& t#inkin) out "oud, te"" #er t#at it>$ im*ortant to &ou to !e in a re"ation$#i* (it# $omeone t#at &ou can rea""& communicate (it#' Te"" #er t#at &ou>re not t#e kind of *er$on t#at #o"d$ !ack #i$ fee"in)$' And )ue$$ (#at2 T#i$ i$ exact"& t#e kind of t#in) t#at t#e& are "ookin) for' T#e& (ant a )u& t#at can communicate (it# t#em' One of t#eir !i))e$t com*"aint$ i$ t#at )u&$ don>t communicate (it# t#em' N5 *ercent of (#at t#era*i$t$ and divorce "a(&er$ #ear i$, =T#ere>$ no communication=' 4o, (#at>$ t#e $mart t#in) to $a& to (omen2 T#at &ou "ike to communicate' I (ent out (it# a )ir" (#o (a$ t#e former Mi$$ Montrea"' 4#e (a$ )or)eou$' +#en I u$ed to take #er out, a"" t#e ric# #ocke& *"a&er$ and rock $tar$ (ou"d turn t#eir #ead$ and $tare at #er' I ended u* fa""in) for #er $i$ter' 4#e (a$n>t a$ cute, !ut $#e (a$ t(ice a$ )ood in !ed' Actua""&, I (anted to fuck a"" t#e $i$ter$' One da& $#e a$ked me if I *"anned on fuckin) #er $i$ter$' Ho( do

&ou an$(er a 7ue$tion "ike t#at2 4im*"e' Be #one$t' I $aid, =0e$, !ut I>"" "eave &our undera)e $i$ter$ a"one'= If a (oman doe$n>t (ant &ou !ecau$e &ou>re a man, t#en $#e doe$n>t (ant &ou at a""' And if &ou>re afraid of !ein) an #one$t man, t#en &ou>re not read& to !e $ucce$$fu" (it# (omen' Bein) #one$t in t#e re"ation$#i* doe$ not mean t#at I #ave to revea" ever&t#in)' I revea" (#at I (ant to revea"' I #ave )iven m&$e"f fu"" *ermi$$ion to $a& and do (#atever I *"ea$e, and t#i$ inc"ude$ #avin) $ecret$' 0ou t#ink (omen don>t kee* $ecret$ from u$2 I cannot $tre$$ t#e im*ortance of !ein) #one$t and u*front (it# t#e (oman enou)#, e$*ecia""& in t#e !e)innin) of t#e re"ation$#i*' I "ike to te"" t#em a $tor& a!out a (oman I once dated (#o (oke me u* to te"" me $omet#in) ver& im*ortant' 4#e (a$ t#e fir$t (oman I dated after I )ot divorced' 4#e tau)#t me t#e im*ortance of )ivin) $ome!od& a fair c#ance' 4#e to"d me t#at $#e fe"t t#at I (a$n>t )ivin) #er a c"ean $"ate, meanin) t#at m& re$*on$e$ to #er (ere mixed !ecau$e of a"" t#e "eftover re$idue from m& *reviou$ marria)e' 4#e (a$ ri)#t- M& re$*on$e$ to #er (ere *o""uted (it# a"" t#e ,unk I #ad co""ected over t#e &ear$, and I (a$n>t !ein) fair to #er' 4#e tau)#t me t#e im*ortance of )ivin) ever&one a c"ean $"ate' It>$ im*ortant to )ive ever&!od& a fair c#ance in t#e !e)innin) of t#e re"ation$#i*' I te"" t#em ri)#t off t#e !at t#at I don>t *"a& )ame$ and t#at I (ant an o*en and #one$t re"ation$#i*' I a$k #er if $#e can #and"e t#at' If $#e #e$itate$, t#en I *ut #er on t#e defen$ive' I te"" #er t#at $#e $#ou"d kno( (#at $#e (ant$, and t#at *er#a*$ $#e $#ou"d t#ink it over and )et !ack to me' Ma&!e $#e $#ou"d make me a contract no( $o t#at t#ere are no #ard fee"in)$ and ar)ument$ "ater on' T#e& don>t (ant a *u$$&, t#e& (ant a man' It doe$n>t matter (#at $#e t#ink$, !ecau$e #one$t&, tru$t, and re$*ect are a"(a&$ )oin) to !e more im*ortant t#an an&t#in) e"$e t#at $#e $a&$ an&(a&' B& !ein) #one$t, &ou earn tru$t' And t#ere are on"& t(o kind$ of re$*ectK :ear and Admiration' I>"" take (#at I can )et'

T(o Ru"e$, Not T(o Hundred

I.m )ivin) &ou t(o ru"e$' Not t(o #undred' T+O' +#o care$ (#at $#e t#ink$, and &ou are t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in t#e re"ation$#i*' And at fir$t, t#e& $ound "ike t(o ver& $tu*id ru"e$' But ever& time &ou #ear t#em, t#e& 6?

$tart to make more and more $en$e to &ou' If &ou don.t care (#at $#e t#ink$, t#en &our fear$ are )one' And if &ou tru"& !e"ieve t#at &ou are t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in t#e re"ation$#i*, t#en &ou $tart to take re$*on$i!i"it& for &our o(n "ife' It force$ &ou to !e $tron), deci$ive, #one$t and con)ruent' +#at &ou decide i$ u* to &ou' I.m not te""in) &ou to !e me, I.m te""in) &ou to !e &ou' 0ou.re not !ein) rude to #er !& not carin) (#at $#e $a&$' T#ere.$ a faOade of non$en$e t#at *eo*"e *ut out, and &ou don.t kno( if t#e&.re *"a&in) )ame$ or fuckin) (it# &ou' T#e$e t(o ru"e$ are &our $#ie"d from a"" t#at $#it' T#e$e ru"e$ rea""& #ave a (a& of cuttin) t#rou)# a"" t#e cra*' Men are free unti" t#e& )et married, and (omen are free (#en t#e& )et married' Once I (a$ datin) t#i$ )ir" (#o $aid, /Eit#er (e #ave to )et married, or I (on.t $"ee* (it# &ou an&more'1 And I fe"t !ad' Here (a$ t#i$ (oman te""in) me t#at $#e "ove$ me, t#at $#e (ant$ to $*end t#e re$t of #er "ife (it# me' 4#e (anted a"" of me, and if I cou"dn.t )ive t#at to #er, t#en $#e (ou"d "eave me forever' A "ot of )u&$ actua""& )ot $tuck t#at (a&' T#e& fe"" for t#at "ine' But (#at (a$ t#i$ (oman rea""& $a&in) to me2 4#e (a$ rea""& $a&in), /Do (#at I $a&, *u**&- Marr& me $o t#at I can u$e $ex to contro" &ou for t#e re$t of &our "ife'1 No(, if &ou #ad a #arem of @ or H (omen, and a (oman $aid t#at to &ou, (#at (ou"d &ou $a&2 =%ood!&e-= A "ot of )u&$ are afraid to "ook at t#e (omen t#at attract t#em' T#e&>re afraid $#e mi)#t )et u*$et' If I.m (atc#in) a *orno movie, if I fee" "ike it, I mi)#t $tart ,erkin) off' Do I care (#at t#e T< t#ink$2 I don.t care (#at an&!od& t#ink$' Beriod' +#en I $a& G(#o care$., I "ive it' If $#e can.t #and"e me "ookin) at #er, (#at t#e fuck do I (ant #er for2 +#en &ou (ant $eafood, and &ou )o out to a re$taurant, and t#e& don.t #ave $eafood on t#e menu, &ou "eave' 4ame t#in)' If a $"ut doe$n.t #ave (#at I (ant on #er menu, I don.t tr& to accommodate #er' I don.t careTe"" me to fuck off an&time' Tr& me' I don.t care' If &ou don.t care, &ou can ,u$t "et )o and #ave a )ood time' +#at do I #ave to "o$e if t#e& )et >offended>2 I can on"& )ain' +#en &ou.re tr&in) to *ick u* a c#ick, no matter (#at &ou do, &ou can ON;0 %AIN' 0ou can.t #ave "e$$ t#an 3ero' If &ou care (#at t#e& t#ink of &ou, t#en &ou can.t )o furt#er' And if &ou can.t !e #one$t and $trai)#tfor(ard a!out (#at &ou (ant, &ou can.t $ucceed (it# (omen' T#i$ (#o"e !ook i$ ,u$t a (a& of ex*"ainin) t#e t(o ru"e$' It a"(a&$ come$ !ack to t#e t(o !a$ic ru"e$' If &ou can inte)rate t#o$e t(o ru"e$ into &our "ife, it free$ &ou from :ear Bri$on' I.m t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in m& re"ation$#i*$, m& ru"e$ ru"e' I don.t "ive !& &our ru"e$, I "ive !& m& ru"e$' If a (oman $tart$ te""in) me a"" t#e$e ru"e$ a!out #o( far $#e can )o on t#e fir$t date and t#e $econd date and on and on,

I mi)#t turn to #er and $a&, /Can I )et a co*& of a"" t#o$e ru"e$ no( *"ea$e, !ecau$e I.d "ike a $*ontaneou$ re"ation$#i*, and if &ou #ave a"" t#e$e ru"e$ t#at I can.t touc# &ou unti" a certain *eriod of time #a$ e"a*$ed, or $omet#in) e7ua""& ridicu"ou$, t#en I need to kno( (#at t#e& are no(, not in $ix mont#$ from no(' And (#i"e (e.re at it, $ince (e.re )ivin) out ru"e$, I.ve )ot a fe( of m& o(n'1 Don.t *"a& )ame$ (it# t#e$e (omen' One of t#e t#in)$ (omen #ave a"(a&$ to"d me t#at t#e& "ike a!out me i$ t#at I "i$ten to t#em' 4ee, mo$t )u&$ t#ink t#at t#e& "i$ten, !ut t#e& are not "i$tenin)' %u&$ are a"(a&$ interru*tin) t#em to )ive advice and #e"*, and )u&$ are con$tant"& )ettin) in t#eir (a&' A "ot of men tr& to take re$*on$i!i"it& for t#e (oman.$ *ro!"em$, and )ue$$ (#at2 T#at.$ im*o$$i!"e' +#o care$ (#at t#e& $a&' 0ou can "i$ten to t#em, !ut don>t ever )et cau)#t u* (it# (#atever t#e& are $a&in) to &ou' Fu$t "i$ten to t#em' T#e& (ant &ou to #ear t#em, t#at.$ a""' T#i$ i$ )reat ne($- :rom no( on &ou are free from #avin) to $o"ve a"" t#o$e $tu*id "itt"e *ro!"em$ t#at are freakin) t#em out' Fu$t "i$ten, and "et #er )et it a"" out' Don.t )et invo"ved in a"" of #er "itt"e drama$' One of t#e rea$on$ t#e& are "ookin) for a man i$ !ecau$e men are $u**o$ed to !e more emotiona""& $ta!"e t#an (omen' Men are a "ot more "o)ica" 8$ometime$9 and "e$$ emotiona" t#an (omen are' +e.re $u**o$ed to !e $tron) for t#em' T#e& don.t (ant a *u$$&, t#e& (ant a $tron) man' Not a mac#o man, not an a$$#o"e, t#e& (ant a $tron) )u&' Ho( do &ou make &our$e"f $tron)2 B& not carin) (#at t#e& t#ink' B& kno(in) t#at no matter (#at #a**en$, t#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on &ou need to "ook out for i$ &ou' +#en &ou rea""& $tart $ucceedin) (it# (omen, $ome of t#em are )oin) to tr& to )ive &ou a #ard time a!out it' But if &ou tru"& don.t care (#at t#e& $a& t#en &ou.re free from a"" t#at $#it' If a !road trie$ to )ive &ou a #ard time a!out an&t#in), t#e (or$t t#in) &ou can do i$ )et defen$ive and tr& to convince #er of &our $incerit&' I remem!er t#i$ one )ir" (#o $tarted in on me a!out m& re*utation a$ a >*"a&er>' I didn.t ar)ue, I to"d #er t#at ever&t#in) *eo*"e $a& a!out me i$ true' +#at can $#e $a&2 4#e i$ $tuck' I.m not )oin) to ar)ue (it# #er' In t#i$ cu"ture, (e $*end $o muc# time t#inkin) and ar)uin) (#en (e cou"d !e fuckin)' T#e mo$t im*ortant *er$on in t#e re"ation$#i* i$ &ou, !ut &ou $ti"" need to a$k (omen (#at t#eir ru"e$ are in a re"ation$#i*' 0ou>re !etter off findin) out (#at #er ru"e$ are no(, !ecau$e (omen #ave $ome $tran)e and "imitin) ru"e$' And don>t )et cau)#t u* in a !i) de!ate a!out t#e ru"e$ eit#er' It>$ m& (a& or t#e #i)#(a&' +#o care$ (#at t#e& t#ink2 If $#e doe$n.t (ant me, t#en ma&!e $#e kno($ $omeone t#at mi)#t and cou"d introduce me to #er'

4#e can>t fuck unti" after t#e It# date2 :ine- =Ma&!e &ou kno( $omeone (#o i$ a "itt"e "e$$ ri)id2= I te"" (omen t#at I #ave one ma,or ru"e' =M& (a&, or t#e #i)#(a&'= No #ard fee"in)$, it>$ ,u$t t#e (a& I "ike it' =If &ou can find a )u& t#at !etter $uit$ &our need$, t#en )o for it' Becau$e m& ru"e$ are not ne)otia!"e' I kno( (#at>$ !e$t for m&$e"f and I kno( (#at I (ant in a (oman' And if I am not !ein) rea$ona!"e, kno( t#at if &ou "eave me, at "ea$t &ou (i"" !e a!"e to te"" *eo*"e t#at I (a$n>t a rea$ona!"e man' I>"" even )ive &ou a "etter of recommendation $a&in) t#at I (a$n>t a rea$ona!"e man'= I don>t care a!out (#at an&!od& t#ink$ of me' I "ove t#e (a& I am' I "ike m&$e"f' I #ave evo"ved into t#e kind of *er$on t#at I "ike, and if I (ere a (oman, I (ou"d (ant to !e (it# me ver& muc#' 0ou #ave to "earn to make &our ru"e$ and $tick to t#em no matter (#at' If &ou )ive t#em an inc#, t#e&>"" take a mi"e' Be re"ent"e$$' Don>t make excu$e$, don>t )et "a3&, and don>t make exce*tion$' I once dated a )ir" (#o to"d me t#at $#e on"& "et$ #er !o&friend$ fuck #er 6E time$ a &ear' 4#e actua""& to"d me t#i$ $eriou$"&- 4#e $aid t#at if a )u& i$ $mart, #e (i"" fuck #er once a mont#, !ecau$e if #e u$e$ u* #i$ 6E fuck$ ri)#t a(a&, #e (i"" #ave to (ait unti" t#e next &ear to )et $ex a)ain- 4o, I fucked #er ? time$ a da& for t#ree da&$ and t#en I $aid )ood!&e' 4#e a$ked, =+#ere are &ou )oin)2= I to"d #er t#at $ince I #ad a"read& u$ed u* m& t(e"ve ticket$, t#en t#ere (a$ no *oint in $tickin) around an& "on)er' I to"d #er t#at it (a$ OJ, t#at I re$*ected #er ru"e$ and (a$n>t )oin) to a$k for anot#er fuck, and after a"", did $#e rea""& ex*ect me to !e)2 4#e ended u* c#a$in) me for t#e next five &ear$' +#&2 Becau$e I make t#e ru"e$, not t#em' I don>t care (#at t#e& t#ink' I>m not )ettin) into re"ation$#i*$ to make (omen #a**&, I do (#at I (ant on m& term$ ot#er(i$e it>$ )ood!&e' And t#e *aradox i$ t#at it>$ m& kind of attitude make$ t#em )o cra3& for &ou' T#e& (ant a $tron) man, t#e& don>t (ant a *u$$&' T#ink for &our$e"f' T#e& are te$tin) &ou and tr&in) to (ra* &ou around t#eir "itt"e fin)er$, and a$ $oon a$ &ou )et "a3&, a$ $oon a$ &ou $tart makin) exce*tion$ to &our o(n ru"e$, t#e& "o$e re$*ect for &ou' T#e (or$e t#in) &ou can $a& to a (oman i$ =Me too=' Me too i$ ca""ed a$$ ki$$in) (#ere I come from' Never ever ki$$ a (oman>$ a$$' 0ou )u&$ #ave it a"" (ron), !& t#e (a&' It>$ not t#e ,erk$ t#at are )ettin) a"" t#e (omen and t#e nice )u&$ t#at are )ettin) none' It>$ t#at t#e ,erk$ di$*"a& confidence and t#e nice )u&$ di$*"a& (eakne$$' I t#ink t#at a nice confident )u& can )et a"" t#e (omen #e need$' 0ou don>t #ave to de"i!erate"& act "ike a ,erk to )et (omen' It>$ $ad !ecau$e a "ot of )u&$ !e"ieve t#at' Of cour$e, it>$ de!ata!"e

t#at $ome (omen aren>t $ati$fied (it# a )u& un"e$$ #e a!u$e$ #er, !ut (#o (ou"d (ant #er2 Never te"" a (oman t#at one of #er friend$ i$ !etter "ookin) t#an #er' I te"" &ou to !e #one$t, not $tu*id' 4#e (i"" never for)et it and $#e (i"" *uni$# &ou for it' And (#at a!out t#e dreaded, =Do I "ook fat2= 7ue$tion2 Te"" #er t#e trut#' =Hone&, I>m not comforta!"e an$(erin) t#at 7ue$tion-= 4EDUCE +#at I am a!out to $#are (it# &ou no( i$ (ort# a "ot of mone&' +#en a (oman a$k$ me (#at m& dick.$ name i$, I te"" #er it.$ Better' Meet Better' A"mo$t ever& )ir" name$ #er tit$' 4o a$k t#em, /T#e&.re $o !eautifu", (#at are t#eir name$21 +#en $#e a$k$ me a!out m& dick, I $a& Better' +anna ki$$ Better2 Ho( a!out fuck Better2 Ho( a!out $uck Better2 Come and ta$te Better' Hu) Better' 4ometime$ it.$ Better- T#at.$ a!out a$ $u!"imina" a$ I ever )et' Mo$t )u&$ cou"dn.t care "e$$' T#e&.re $o !u$& tr&in) to im*re$$ #er t#at t#e& never take t#e time to find out (#o t#e&.re tr&in) to fuck' It.$ im*ortant t#at &ou !e )enuine"& curiou$ a!out #er' And &ou can.t fake t#at' I rea""& am )enuine"& curiou$ !ecau$e I (ant to find out no( if $#e.$ )ood for me' I.m an inve$ti)ator' +#i"e I ta"k to #er, $#e te""$ me ever&t#in) I need to kno( to G$educe. #er' I don.t "ike t#e (ord G$eduction., !& t#e (a&' I don.t "ike it !ecau$e it im*"ie$ tricker&, mani*u"ation, and deceit' M& ru"e$ are #one$t&, tru$t, and re$*ect' +#at do &ou do for fun2 +#at kind$ of t#in)$ did &ou do (#en &ou (ere a "itt"e )ir"2 +#o.$ &our !e$t friend2 +#& i$ $#eP#e &our !e$t friend2 +#o.$ &our favorite re"ative2 +#&2 +#at>$ &our )randmot#er>$ name2 +#at.$ t#e t#in) &ou are mo$t *roud of in &our "ife2 +#&2 Have &ou ever !een em!arra$$ed2 Do &ou #ave an& *et$2 +#at.$ #i$ name2 0ou.ve )ot to !e a!"e to make e&e contact, &ou.ve )ot to !e f"atterin), and it.$ !etter for #er to kno( t#at &ou.re makin) e&e contact and to kno( t#at &ou (ant #er' +#& fuck around2 A "ot of )u&$ (i"" "ook at a *rett& )ir" t#at t#e& "ike and turn a(a& (#en $#e notice$' 4#e.$ a"read& $cared #im, &et $#e #a$n.t done an&t#in) $car&' If &ou can.t even "ook at #er, #o( can &ou make #er intere$ted in &ou2 %ive t#e )ir" and &our$e"f a c#ance' It $#ou"d !e &ou intimidatin) t#em' +#at &ou do (it# &our e&e$ i$ extreme"& im*ortant' 0ou #ave to kno( #o( to u$e &our e&e$, and (omen can te"" a "ot a!out &ou !& "ookin) into &our e&e$' No(, t#e fir$t ru"e of e&e contact i$ "ook (#erever t#e fuck &ou (ant' If &ou (ant to "ook at #er tit$, t#en "ook at #er tit$' Doe$ $#e #ave a nice a$$M doe$ #er crotc# turn &ou on2 T#en "ook at it- 0ou can.t !e afraid of t#em'

T#e& don.t (ant a *u$$&' And if t#e& $ee &ou $tarin) and t#e& $tart to #ave a #i$$& fit, "et t#em' +#en a (oman te""$ me not to "ook at #er !rea$t$, I $tare #arder' I don.t care (#at $#e t#ink$' +#& did $#e *ut on t#o$e ti)#t c"ot#e$, $o t#at I (ou"dn.t "ook at #er2 I "ook at (#atever t#e fuck I (ant to $ee, and if $#e doe$n.t "ike it $#e can ki$$ m& a$$' I.m a man' I.m $u**o$ed to )et turned on !& !eautifu" (omen' NOT "ookin) at t#em i$ an in$u"tI "ike to trave" on t#e road of efficienc&' Rat#er t#an ta"kin), I (ant to !e fuckin)' <er& ear"& on in t#e conver$ation I "ike to a$k t#em if t#e& #ave t#eir o(n *"ace' If t#e& "ive (it# t#eir *arent$ or #ave roommate$, I a$k t#em if t#e&.ve ever )one to a mote" (it# a !o&friend' And if t#e& $a&, /O# no, never, I.m not t#at kind of )ir"1, I $a&, /4ee &a-1 I.m not )oin) to (a$te a"" of m& time and mone& on"& to #ave #er $a&, /I can.t )o to a mote"1' If t#e& $a& &e$, t#en I *re$ume t#at $ince $#e>$ done it !efore, $#e."" do it a)ain' I.m not $#& (#en it come$ to a$kin) 7ue$tion$, and if t#e& (ant to kno( (#& I.m a$kin), I.m not $#& to te"" t#em (#&' T#ere>$ not#in) (ron) (it# !ein) intere$ted in a (oman' A "ot of )u&$ a$k me #o( "on) t#e& $#ou"d (ait !efore t#e& ca"" #er (#en t#e& )et #er num!er' And t#e an$(er i$ a"(a&$ )oin) to !e, /+#enever &ou (ant1' 4ometime$ I ca"" t#em ri)#t a(a&, $ometime$ I never ca"" t#em' 4ometime$ I even ca"" #er t#e $ame ni)#t, un"e$$ I.m fuckin) $ome!od& e"$e' Or I ca"" #er (#en I.m (it# $ome!od& e"$e' If I.m fuckin) $ome!od& e"$e, !ut I.m t#inkin) a!out #er, and I (ant to ca"" #er, t#en I ca"" #er and te"" #er t#at I.m (it# $ome!od& e"$e and I.m t#inkin) a!out #er' I.m a trut#fu" )u&' +#& (ou"d I (ant to $tart a re"ation$#i* off (it# a (oman !& "&in) to #er2 And a (oman "ike$ to #ear t#at, !& t#e (a&' /I.m (it# $ome!od& e"$e and a"" I can $ee i$ &our face'1 It.$ romantic' T#e& "ove to #ear t#at &ou.re t#inkin) a!out t#em' Jee* in mind t#at u)"& (omen fuck !etter' T#ere.$ t#i$ $a&in), /If &ou (ant to !e #a**&, make an u)"& (oman &our (ife'1 A"$o, (#at t#e& drink revea"$ a "ot of information a!out (#at kind of *er$on t#e& are' If $#e.$ $ittin) at a !ar drinkin) (#i$ke&, t#en $#e."" *ro!a!"& fuck &ou' If t#e& on"& drink !eer, it.$ a )ood $i)n' After $ix !eer$, t#e&.re &our$' If $#e )oe$ out to a !ar and drink$ H !eer$, t#en $#e fuck$' And if $#e.$ *etite, t#en it.$ A !eer$' E$*ecia""& no(ada&$, !ecau$e t#e a"co#o" content in !eer i$ $o #i)# no(' +e didn.t #ave H'IQ (#en I (a$ )ro(in) u*' I$ it t#e #unt t#at &ou (ant, or do &ou (ant t#e *re&2 A "ot of )u&$ *refer t#e #unt, !ut I "ike to ca*ture' I "ike to tame t#em' I.m a co(!o& at #eart' +e.re a"" anima"$ an&(a&' Co(, #or$e, $nake, *i), (#a"e, fi$#, !ird, man, (oman' I$n.t man t#e dominant creature on t#i$ *"anet2 T#e& never $aid, /(o man1, did t#e&2 +e.re !orn to kno( t#i$, &et (e.re afraid of (omen' I remem!er

)oin) a(a& (it# a )ir" one (eekend and (e #ad $o muc# $ex t#at (e didn.t $"ee* for t#ree da&$' +#en I came !ack I #ad to $ta& in !ed a fu"" E? #our$ for t#at one' 4#e (a$ (i"d- T#e& don.t (ant u$ to fear t#em, t#e& (ant u$ to nurture t#em, take care of t#em, #unt for t#em, and *rotect t#em' T#e& (ant u$ to romance t#em and t#e& (ant u$ to fuck t#em' T#e& need to fee" t#at (e>re $tron)er t#an t#e& are, $o t#at t#e& can ,u$t "et )o and !"o$$om into t#e !eautifu" creature$ t#at t#e& (ere meant to !e' If I>m $ittin) in a !ar ta"kin) (it# a )ir", *ickin) #er u*, on"& to di$cover t#at #er !o&friend i$ around, I mi)#t $a& $omet#in) "ike t#i$ to #erK /Are &ou #ere doin) (#atever &ou (ant, tr&in) to tea$e me, or do I #ave a *o$$i!i"it& of "eavin) (it# &ou toni)#t21 I>m a $trai)#t $#ooter' I never (ant to )et in t#e midd"e of a cou*"e.$ fi)#t' Here.$ a $im*"e te$t for &ou to u$e on a (oman to find out if $#e rea""& (ant$ &ou or i$ ,u$t u$in) &ou to *i$$ off #er !o&friend and make #im ,ea"ou$' Fu$t a$k #er, /Are &ou $(in)er$2 Becau$e t#e (omen #e.$ "ookin) at and t#e )u&$ &ou.re "ookin) at made me (onder'1 No(, if $#e )oe$, /+#o i$ #e "ookin) at21 t#en &ou kno( t#e&.re ,u$t tea$in) eac# ot#er $o $to* (a$tin) &our time on #er' Don.t )et in t#e midd"e of t#at $#it' Don.t $*end a "ot of mone& unti" &ou.re committed to #er' It.$ a $i)n of (eakne$$ if &ou $*end too muc# on t#e fir$t date' If &ou didn.t kno( t#at t#en &ou rea""& do need to read t#i$ !ook- On"& $*end (#at &ou (ant to $*end' I "ike to a$k t#em (#ere t#e& (ant to )o, to )et a fee" of (#at t&*e of )ir" I am dea"in) (it#' If $#e (ant$ to )o to a c"a$$& re$taurant, I take #er to m& favorite !ur)er ,oint' If $#e com*"ain$, t#en no( I kno( a#ead of time t#at $#e i$n.t for me' Becau$e if $#e.$ a"read& (#inin) it (i"" on"& )et (or$e' I remem!er ta"kin) to t#i$ )or)eou$ (oman once and I a$ked #er (#at (a$ t#e nice$t t#in) $#e.$ ever done for a !o&friend' And $#e $aid t#at on #er ex !o&friend.$ !irt#da&, $#e !rou)#t a friend over and t#e& !ot# fucked #im' I $aid, 1M& !irt#da& i$ tomorro(1' T#e& aren.t "ookin) for t#e $ame t#in)$ in u$ t#at (e "ook for in t#em' T#e&.re not o!$e$$ed (it# "ook$ t#e (a& (e are' And t#e&.re )ivin) u$ "ot$ of $i)na"$ t#at (e don.t *ick u* on' I #ave a friend (#o met t#i$ )ir" in t#e !ar of a #ote"' He (a$ c#armin) and funn&' 4#e "iked #im and )ave #im #er room num!er and (a"ked u*$tair$' 4o (#at did #e do2 He ca""ed #er on t#e *#one, over and over, and $#e never an$(ered' 4#e (a$ *ro!a!"& "&in) in !ed naked, (onderin) (#en #e.$ )oin) to $#o( u*- 0ou #ave to *a& attention to a (oman.$ $i)na"$' If &ou.re too dum! to notice, t#en a$k #er' /Are &ou )ivin) me an& $i)na"$ t#at I.m too $tu*id to *ick u* on21 T#e& "ove t#e #one$t&' T#e&.re not ex*ectin) &ou to !e #one$t (it# t#em and a$ $oon a$ &ou are, t#e& fa"" a*art' T#e& "et )o of t#eir defen$e$ and !e)in to fa"" for &ou' If &ou.re ta"kin) to

#er for ten minute$ and &ou can.t fi)ure out #o( to )et #er into t#e !edroom, ,u$t $a&, /I.ve !een ta"kin) to &ou for ten minute$ and I.m tr&in) to fi)ure out #o( to )et &ou into t#e !edroom'1 T#e& a"" $a& t#e& (ant a $*ontaneou$ )u&, !ut if &ou.re $*ontaneou$ t#e& !ecome afraid of &ou' And t#ere are t(o kind$ of re$*ect fear and admiration' I."" take (#at I can )et' B& t#e (a&, don>t te"" #er t#at &ou (ant a re"ation$#i* too $oon un"e$$ &ou kno( for $ure t#at $#e (ant$ one too' ;et t#em (orr& a!out &ou' And if t#e& te"" &ou t#e&>re >not read&> for a re"ation$#i*, it>$ !u""$#it' If #er favorite actor (a"ked in $#e (ou"d make #er$e"f read&' If $#e te""$ &ou $#e>$ not read& for a re"ation$#i* )o to RRc#a*ter contro"RR +#en &ou>re (it# a ne( (oman in a car, don>t #o"d #er #and "ike ever& ot#er )u& doe$ and *"a& fin)er fuckin) (it# #er' In$tead, #o"d #er (ri$t )ent"&' T#e& "ike it' B"u$, &ou>re )oin) to u$e t#i$ "ater on (#en &ou>"" $a&, =I )ue$$ &ou "ike me'''1 And $#e (i"" $a&, =Ho( do &ou kno( I "ike &ou2= =+e"" I (a$ fee"in) &our *u"$e (#en (e (ere ta"kin) I did excite &ou a "itt"e !it'= And (#et#er or not $#e a)ree$ (it# &ou i$ irre"evant, !ecau$e in$ide $#e (i"" !e ama3ed' 0ou are !ein) $o $en$itive to #er fee"in)$' %u&$ often a$k me, =Ho( do &ou c"o$e t#e dea"2= But (#en I meet a )ir", I>m not t#inkin) a!out c"o$in) #er' Becau$e c"o$in) t#e dea" (it# #er and )ettin) #er to )o out (it# me i$ not t#e *ri3e' T#e *ri3e i$ me' 4ometime$ I te"" t#em t#at I>ve a"read& #ad t#e fanta$& of #avin) t#em in !ed (it# me, $o t#e& mi)#t a$ (e"" )o out (it# me' +#enever a man "ook$ at a (oman #e menta""& fuck$ #er' T#at i$ a fact' In order to find out if #e #a$ an attraction for #er #e #a$ to ,u$t !rief"& momentari"& menta""& fuck #er' 4ince &ou are a"read& menta""& fuckin) #er, t#en ,u$t te"" #er' Don>t $a&, =Ba!&, I am menta""& fuckin) &ou=, !ecau$e t#at>$ too cra$$' I can )et a(a& (it# ta"kin) "ike t#at, !ut if &ou>re ,u$t a rookie )ettin) $tarted &ou t#en &ou (on>t !e a!"e to #and"e t#e variou$ re$*on$e$ &ou>"" )et' U$e (ord$ "ike fanta$i3in), makin) "ove, en,o&in) &ou !e a )ent"eman a!out it' +omen "ike romance and t#e& "ike #umor, $o "et t#em #ave it' If &ou a$k a (oman out and $#e $a&$, =I>m $orr&, !ut I #ave a !o&friend=, ,u$t te"" #er, =I>m 4orr&, too'''$o "et>$ )et to)et#er and !e $orr& to)et#er'= Becau$e $#e i$ te""in) &ou t#at $#e i$ $orr& $#e #a$ a !o&friend' Take it "itera""&' It a"$o de*end$ on (#ere &ou meet t#em' If $#e i$ (a"kin) out of an a*artment !ui"din) (it# #er #air a"" me$$ed u* and $a&$, =4orr& !ut I #ave a !o&friend=, ma&!e $#e ,u$t )ot fucked $o &ou>re not )oin) to *ick #er u* toda&' But if $#e>$ at a !ar (it# #er )ir"friend$ and $a&$ t#at $#e #a$ a !o&friend'''' it.$ a !ar- Fu$t $a&, =;ook, I>m $orr&, !ut a )ir" "ike &ou, in a !ar, &ou>re $o )or)eou$ and #ot''' If I (a$ &our !o&friend, &ou (ou"dn>t !e out in t#i$ !ar a"" !& &our$e"f toni)#t=' Fu$t te"" #er (#at &ou>re t#inkin)'

I do en,o& $tarin) at (omen>$ !oo!$' Mo$t )u&$ are afraid to, !ut not me' I ,u$t dive ri)#t in t#ere' +#& do &ou t#ink t#e& dre$$ t#at (a&2 4o &ou (on>t "ook2 I "ove it (#en t#e& ca"" me on it, too' T#e& )o, /+#at are &ou $tarin) at2= and I $a&, =I>m )"ad &ou a$ked me t#at 7ue$tion, !ecau$e if &ou didn>t notice (#at I (a$ noticin), &ou>ve )ot to $ee m& e&e doctor'= +#& e"$e (ou"d t#e& (ear #i)# #ee"$ and "in)erie and *u$# u* !ra$2 I>m not !ein) rude, I>m ,u$t $#o(in) #er m& a**reciation' And if t#e& $tart to )ive me a #ard time a!out it, )ood' It ,u$t !ecome$ anot#er o**ortunit& for me to $#o( t#em #o( #one$t and $trai)#tfor(ard I am' 4ometime$ t#e& )o, =+e"", I didn>t *ut on makeu* for &ou-= and I )o, =I can !e"ieve t#at'= Becau$e it>$ o!viou$ t#at $#e didn>t *ut in on for me''' Tr& t#i$ "ine' T#i$ "ine (ork$ "ike a c#arm' After &ou>ve $tarted ki$$in) #er for t#e fir$t time, $a&, =I don>t (ant to #ave a meanin)"e$$ $exua" encounter' If I )o #ome (it# &ou, I (ant to (ake u* t#e next mornin) and make &ou !reakfa$t' If I can>t make &ou !reakfa$t, t#en I don>t (ant to )o (it# &ou'= :ir$t of a"", I>m te""in) #er (#at I (ant, and $econd, I>m te""in) #er t#at it>$ not )oin) to !e a one ni)#t $tand' I am not te""in) #er t#at I (ant a "on) term mono)amou$ re"ation$#i* eit#er' Fu$t !reakfa$t' It>$ ver& romantic' T#e (or$e t#in) t#at a (oman can a$k me i$, =+#at are &ou t#inkin) a!out2= Becau$e I te"" t#em, =I (a$ t#inkin) a!out doin) &ou and &our friend Nata$#a'= Ho( man& )u&$ do &ou kno( t#at te"" (omen t#e trut#2 Bractica""& none' I am free to t#ink (#at I (ant (#en I (ant to t#ink it' 4ometime$ (omen a$k me to te"" t#em a!out m&$e"f, and I te"" t#em I t#ink I>m t#e )reate$t )u& in t#e (or"d' I>m a nice )u&, I>m $mart, I>m funn&, I>m )reat in !ed, I kno( (#ere I>m )oin) in "ife, I "ike m& *er$ona"it&, and if I (a$ a (oman I (ou"d definite"& (ant me' And t#e& )o, /0ou.re $o conceited-= And I )o, =0ou a$ked me to te"" &ou a!out m&$e"f' +#& $#ou"d I )ive &ou a !ad recommendation2= If &ou>re )onna (rite a recommendation a!out &our$e"f, &ou>d !e cra3& not to (rite t#e !e$t recommendation in t#e (or"d' T#at>$ (#at I do' I te"" t#em t#at I t#ink I>m t#e )reate$t )u& in t#e (or"d' +#at, $#ou"d &ou te"" t#em t#at &ou>re kind of oka&2 :uck t#at' If a (oman (ant$ to kno( (#at &ou.re t#inkin), $#e.$ &our$' +#& e"$e (ou"d t#e& (ant to kno( (#at &ou.re t#inkin) a!out2 4ame t#in) if a (oman !"u$#e$' If &ou can make #er !"u$#, $#e.$ )oin) #ome (it# &ou toni)#t' A "ot of &ou are )ettin) *"ent& of $i)na"$ from (omen t#at &ou.re not noticin)' /David, (#at are &ou t#inkin) a!out21 /I (a$ ,u$t tr&in) to remem!er (#at I #ave in t#e frid)e !ecau$e if &ou came #ome (it# me toni)#t I.d "ike to cook &ou a nice !reakfa$t in t#e mornin)'1 /I (a$ t#inkin) of (#at it (ou"d !e "ike to )ive &ou an or)a$m'1 /I (a$ ,u$t t#inkin) a!out #o( different &our voice (ou"d $ound if (e (ere cudd"ed u* in front of t#e

fire*"ace'1 /I (a$ ,u$t ima)inin) #o( nice it (ou"d !e to take a $#o(er (it# &ou'1 +#atever-

+#at +omen +ant

+omen don.t "ook at u$ t#e $ame (a& t#at (e "ook at t#em' Men are *rimari"& into "ook$, and (omen (ant u$ to !e confident' 4o it $#ou"d !e ea$ier for u$ to )et "aid t#an it i$ for t#em' Becau$e if a (oman i$ u)"&, $#e )et$ t#e !ottom of t#e !arre"' If a man i$ u)"&, #e )et$ t#e !ottom of t#e !arre" un"e$$ #e #a$ confidence' If #e #a$ confidence, #e can *ick and c#oo$e' +omen don.t "ook at u$ t#e $ame (a& t#at (e "ook at t#em' Men are *rimari"& into "ook$, and (omen (ant u$ to !e confident' 4o it $#ou"d !e ea$ier for u$ to )et "aid t#an it i$ for t#em' Becau$e if a (oman i$ u)"&, $#e )et$ t#e !ottom of t#e !arre"' If a man i$ u)"&, #e )et$ t#e !ottom of t#e !arre" UN;E44 #e #a$ confidence' If #e #a$ confidence, #e can *ick and c#oo$e' +#at I.m doin) (it# (omen i$ more #one$t t#an (#at an& of t#e$e ot#er )u&$ are doin)' If, !& c#ance, &ou meet $ome!od& t#at &ou fa"" in "ove (it#, $omeone &ou.d "ike to $*end a "ot of time (it#, or (#atever (oman fit$ &our *erce*tion of (#at &ou (ant, a"" t#e more *o(er to &ou' I.m not !onkin) #er on t#e #ead and dra))in) #er in off t#e $treet' 0ou #ave to !e #one$t (it# *eo*"e, t#at.$ a""' And if &ou can do t#at, &ou.ve )ot it made' Not ever& c#ick i$ )oin) to (ant &ou' 4ome c#ick$ are fixated on ta"" men, and if &ou.re not H foot @, $#e (on.t even con$ider )oin) out (it# &ou' 4ome (omen on"& (ant a )u& if #e.$ (ea"t#&' T#e& even )ive 4EMINAR4 on #o( to attract t#e ric#- 4ome (omen on"& "ike to date t#eir o(n kind, $o if &ou.re not Fe(i$# or (#ite or Au$tra"ian or (#atever, t#e& (ant not#in) to do (it# &ou' Can &ou turn #er around2 +it# enou)# effort &ou mi)#t !e a!"e to, !ut (#& (ou"d &ou (ant #er2 I #ave a friend t#at on"& "ike$ fat u)"& (omen' T#at.$ (#at #e "ike$- He.$ #ad more t#an #i$ fair $#are of offer$ from !eautifu" (omen, !ut #e doe$n.t "ike t#em' +#at #e find$ !eautifu" i$ ver& different from (#at &ou or I (ou"d find !eautifu"' I.m )"ad t#ere are *eo*"e "ike #im in t#i$ (or"d, !ecau$e t#at mean$ t#at t#ere rea""& i$ $ome!od& for ever&!od&' Ho( muc# time $#ou"d &ou $*end (it# &our )ir"friend8$92 I da&$ a (eek2 6 da& a (eek2 It a"" de*end$ on #o( muc# &ou fee" "ike !ein) (it# #er' If &ou on"& $ee #er once a (eek, c#ance$ are t#at &ou (i"" "o$e #er' 0ou can.t !e "a3&' 0ou rea* (#at &ou $o(' 0ou #ave to kno( #o( muc# $#e (ant$ to $ee &ou, and t#en )ive #er a !it "e$$' 0ou can.t *ut t#em on t#e once a (eek *"an !ecau$e if &ou take t#em for )ranted &ou (i"" !e doin) (#at ever& ot#er

)u& doe$' One of t#e to* com*"aint$ (omen #ave a)ain$t men i$ "a3ine$$' He u$ed to do a"" kind$ of "itt"e romantic t#in)$ for #er and no( #e $to**ed' 0ou #ave to !e different t#an t#o$e ot#er )u&$ out t#ere' 0ou #ave to !e &ou' If &ou can.t fuck #er more t#an once a (eek, "eave #er for $ome!od& e"$e' +#& do (e "ook at dirt& *icture$2 +#& do (e ca"" t#em dirt& *icture$2 I #ad $o muc# *orn on m& #ard drive t#at I #ad to )et a CD !urner- I "ove *orn, it.$ one of m& #o!!ie$' I on"& $ave t#e *icture if I can $ee t#e cunt and t#e tit$' If t#e (oman in t#e *icture i$ turned a(a&, I de"ete it' I #ave to $ee t#e (#o"e *acka)e' I u$ed to #ave an Ita"ian friend (#o "oved fuckin) fat c#ick$' T#e !i))er t#e !etter' I #ad anot#er friend (#o )ot off on *re)nant (omenI.d fee" "ike I (a$ fuckin) t#e *oor kid in t#e face' Did &ou ever fuck a (oman (#en $#e i$ #avin) #er *eriod2 Of cour$e toda& &ou can.t even t#ink a!out doin) t#at an&more- T#e 4TD.$ are too dead"& no(ada&$' And (#at a!out a"" of t#i$ anima" *orn2 Ca"" me cra3&, !ut I.m *ro!a!"& never )oin) to )et in !ed (it# a (oman (#o.$ ,u$t !een fucked !& a %erman $#e*#erd' I $a( a movie c"i* of a c#ick $uckin) on a #or$e.$ cock' T#e #or$e came in !ucket$ a"" over #er' I don.t t#ink I (ant to ki$$ #er t#at da&, or ever a)ainHo( a!out 4SM2 I don.t rea""& (ant to $ee a )u& cuttin) a (oman.$ ni**"e$ off' It doe$n.t do it for me' +#at t#e #e"" do (omen +ANT, an&(a&2 :unn&, t#e& a"" $eem to read Co$mo*o"itan, $o I did' It i$ $o $im*"e' :ir$t, t#e& (ant a $en$e of #umor' And it>$ funn& !ecau$e a"" t#e )u&$ t#at I #ave met t#at (ant to "earn from me a!out #o( to *ick u* (omen mu$t a"read& #ave a )reat $en$e of #umor' T#at>$ (#& I can>t under$tand (#& t#e& aren>t out t#ere $ucceedin)- A"" &ou )u&$ o!viou$"& #ave a )reat $en$e of #umor, !ecau$e &ou are a"" $o u$ed to "au)#in) at 0OUR4E;<E4 to !e a!"e to "ive (it# re,ection-

Humor
Humor i$ t#e num!er one ke& to )ettin) "aid' And !ein) funn& i$ $o ea$&' A"" #umor #a$ $ome form of exa))eration in it' It>$ not t#e ,oke t#at>$ crudeM it>$ (#at t#e exa))eration i$' 0ou $#ou"d !e a!"e to "au)# at an&t#in)' Num!er t(o2 T#e& (ant a MAN' T#e& do not (ant a *u$$&, ok2 ;et>$ "ook at t#e o"d caveman da&$' In t#o$e da&$ t#e& (anted a man to "ead t#em, #unt for t#em, and *rotect t#em' +e"", )ue$$ (#at2 T#e& 4TI;; DO- T#at (i"" never c#an)e' T#e& don>t (ant to !e a!u$ed, and t#e& don>t (ant to !e *#&$ica""& #urt' And !e carefu" )u&$, !ecau$e t#o$e i$$ue$ are common in t#eir mind$ toda&' Notice t#at I don>t A4J (omen (#at t#e& "ike and t#en tr& to fu"fi"" it' I te"" t#em' And t#e& a"(a&$ )o, =0ea#, &ou>re ri)#t' Me too'= Actua""&, t#e (or$t

t#in) &ou can $a& to a (oman i$ =Me too'= +#ere I come from, t#at i$ ca""ed a$$ ki$$in)' And (omen don>t (ant an a$$ ki$$er' +omen are $oooo ,ea"ou$ of eac# ot#er' If &ou are $een (it# a !eautifu" (oman, &ou (i"" #ave in$tant *o*u"arit& (it# a"" t#e ot#er (omen' If &ou !rin) a rare !eaut& #ome (it# &ou on"& to di$cover t#at $#e $tink$ in !ed, u$e #er a$ !ait' Anot#er t#in) t#at (omen "ove are )u&$ t#at are $*ontaneou$' 4o, a$ I am ta"kin) to t#em I $a&, =0ou kno(, I #ave to te"" &ou $omet#in)' After m& "a$t re"ation$#i* (ent $our, a friend of mine took me to $ee a *$&c#ic' I don>t rea""& !e"ieve in t#at $#it, !ut m& friend ke*t on in$i$tin) $o I (ent' And t#e *$&c#ic to"d me t#at m& next re"ation$#i* i$ )onna $tart off !ein) com*"ete"& $exua", and t#at over time it (i"" *ro!a!"& turn out to !e a fa!u"ou$ re"ation$#i*' But I #ave to find a (oman (#o i$ $*ontaneou$ enou)# and #a$ t#e )ut$ to )o t#rou)# (it# it'= 0ou>re )oin) to en,o& t#e outcome of te""in) t#em t#at, !o&, "et me te"" &ou' Becau$e t#e c#a""en)e intri)ue$ t#em to no end' T&*ica""& I (i"" t#en add, =But I kno( t#at (e>ve ,u$t met, and I don>t kno( if &ou>re t#e kind of *er$on t#at (ou"d !e intere$ted in $omet#in) "ike t#at'= Beo*"e t&*ica""& re$*ond (e"" to c#a""en)e$, and (omen are *eo*"e' I #ave a friend t#at married a )or)eou$ (oman, (#o I con$ider to !e a $o"id N' 0ou (on>t #ear me $a& t#at ver& often !ut $#e (a$ ver& a**ea"in)' B"ond #air, !"ue e&e$, nice face, ki""er !od&, $#e (a$ HOT- An&(a&, after t#e& #ad !een married for a (#i"e, t#e& o!viou$"& (ere $tartin) to drift a*art, and I kne( it !ecau$e $#e $tarted $*endin) more and more time (it# $ome of #er divorcT friend$' 4o I to"d m& friend to ex*ect to )et divorced ver& $oon' He $aid, /+#at are &ou ta"kin) a!out2= and I $aid, /;i$ten' 4#e i$ #an)in) around (it# a"" t#e$e $in)"e !road$'= 4ee, (omen don>t (i$# for )ood t#in)$ to #a**en to ot#er (omen' Men are t#e o**o$ite' If I introduce a (oman to a !udd& of mine and #e )et$ "aid a$ a re$u"t, I fee" )ood- I fee" "ike a fat#er (#o ,u$t #e"*ed #i$ $on' +omen are "ike cat$' =4#e>$ )ot a man'''I (ant #im-= =I>m divorced and un#a**& $o I (ant #er to !e divorced and un#a**&-= %ir"$ are a"mo$t a"(a&$ com*etin) (it# eac# ot#er, and &ou don>t need to !e a $#rink to fi)ure t#at out' A "ot of &ou #ave !een to"d t#at &ou $#ou"d never com*"iment a (oman on #er "ook$' Ho( $tu*id- Becau$e if &ou don>t te"" #er t#at &ou find #er a**ea"in) &ou are "&in)' I don>t "ie' I don>t te"" t#em ever&t#in), !ut I don>t out and out te"" t#em a "ie' 4#e kno($ t#at &ou (ant to fuck #er' And &ou (ant #er to kno( t#i$ ri)#t from t#e !e)innin)' 4#e kno($ (#& &ou.re ta"kin) to #er' +omen often $a&, /Men are on"& intere$ted in one t#in)-=

4ometime$ I>"" re*"&, =0ea#, mo$t"&-= And $#e>"" a$k, /+#at are t#e ot#er t#in)$2= M& re*"&2 =Doin) &ou and &our friend-= No(, mo$t of &ou are "au)#in), and *ro!a!"& &ou (ou"dn>t #ave t#e )ut$ to $a& $omet#in) "ike t#at' But I>"" te"" &ou, (omen do not (ant a $#& )u&' T#e& don>t' If t#e& did, &ou (ou"dn>t #ave !ou)#t m& !ook' T#e& (ant a man (#o can care for and *rotect t#em' +e>re !orn to kno( t#i$' 0ou $#ou"d $ee (#at I do to m& friend$. $ecretarie$' Actua""&, t#ere>$ one in *articu"ar t#at rea""& $trike$ m& fanc&' 4#e>$ )ot !i) tit$, nice Ita"ian )ir", cute' 4o I>"" "ook at #er (it# a #u)e )rin on m& face' 4#e>"" )o, =+#& are &ou $mi"in)2= I $a&, =I>m ,u$t fini$#in) fuckin) &ou can &ou #o"d on a minute *"ea$e2= 0ou $#ou"d $ee t#em !"u$# (#en &ou t#ro( t#em a "ine "ike t#at' I $a& $tuff "ike t#at to #er a"" t#e time' 4o a$ $#e (a$ !"u$#in), m& (ife (a"ked in, $o I $aid, =Hone&, t#i$ i$ t#e one I (a$ te""in) &ou a!out, t#e one t#at a"(a&$ make$ *a$$e$ at me'= I te"" #er, =If I cou"d convince m& (ife, I>d do &ou !ot# to)et#er'= T#at>$ t#e kind of $tuff I $a& to (omen' I $a& t#e trut# and I>m re"ent"e$$ a!out t#e trut#' Beo*"e kno( exact"& (#at I>m t#inkin)' M& friend$ are a"(a&$ a$kin) me, =+#at do &ou do to m& $ecretarie$2 +#enever &ou $#o( u*, it "i)#t$ u* t#eir (#o"e da&-= 4ometime$ t#e (omen )o, =But David, &ou>re married-= I )o, /+#at, &ou don>t t#ink I can #and"e t(o (omen2= T#ere are t#ree )u&$ t#at t#e (omen )o for fir$t' Mi""ionaire$, rock $tar$, and actor$' And t#e& a"" #ave one t#in) in common'''"ot$ of mone&' 0ou cou"d !e a mi""ionaire (#o i$ not#in) !ut a $tu*id, u)"&, di$#one$t, a"co#o"ic, a!u$ive, unfait#fu", $me""&, di$ea$ed *iece of $#it t#at #a$ a!$o"ute"& no $en$e of #umor and $ti"" )et "ot$ of (omen' T#e re$t of u$ #ave to take (#at>$ "eft' T#e )ood ne($ i$ t#at t#ere aren>t ver& man& mi""ionaire$, rock $tar$, and actor$' Mo$t men (ou"d !e $cre(ed if t#ere (ere' T#i$ de$ire for mone& $tem$ from a natura" need for $afet& and $ecurit&' In t#i$ cu"ture (e tend to e7uate $afet& and $ecurit& (it# mone& in$tead of derivin) t#o$e fee"in)$ from our a!i"itie$' +e for)et t#at it>$ not mone& t#at make$ t#e (or"d turn' If &ou #ave a dau)#ter, &ou *ro!a!"& (ant #er to end u* (it# $omeone t#at can take care of #er and kee* #er $afe financia""&' Ever read a romance nove"2 A"" (omen #ave a fanta$& in t#eir mind$ a!out t#e kind of man t#e& (ant to !e (it#' A "ot of t#o$e fanta$ie$ )o unfu"fi""ed for t#e mo$t *art' Fu$t $tart doin) "itt"e cute romantic t#in)$ for #er ever& once and a (#i"e' %o to t#e do""ar $tore and )et a tedd& !ear ke& c#ain, for exam*"e' %ive it to #er and te"" #er t#at (#en &ou $a( it, &ou #ad to !u& it !ecau$e it made &ou t#ink a!out #er' +omen "ove to #ear, =I (a$ t#inkin) a!out &ou'=

T#e& a"" (ant a $tron) man, $omeone (#o kno($ (#at #e (ant$' 0ou can #ave (#at &ou>ve a"(a&$ (anted in a (oman, !ut &ou #ave to !e $tron), and &ou need to $to* !ein) $o afraid to )o for (#at &ou (ant' 0ou can>t care a!out (#at t#e& t#ink' T#i$ i$ $o im*ortant' It #a$ not#in) to do (it# !ein) an a$$#o"e' It #a$ to do (it# doin) (#at &ou (ant' Mo$t men #ave no idea #o( muc# t#e& #ide t#eir rea" $e"ve$ from (omen' T#e& don>t $a& (#at>$ rea""& on t#eir mind, and t#e& end u* !e#avin) $tu*id"& around (omen to make u* for it' T#e& are t#e one$ #onkin) #orn$ a$ t#e& drive !& or $tarin) at t#e (omen in$tead of ta"kin) to t#em' +omen com*"ain a"" t#e time t#at men can>t !e #one$t, t#e& can>t communicate, and t#e& aren>t romantic enou)#' +#en I "ived in Texa$, I (ent to a *$&c#iatri$t for t(o &ear$, !ecau$e at t#e time, I cou"dn>t under$tand (#& a"" t#e$e (omen (anted to marr& me' In Texa$, t#e men out t#ere are mac#o, !eer )u33"in) a$$#o"e$, and t#e (omen out t#ere are $tarved for romance' T#o$e )u&$ (ou"d rat#er eat t#eir meat, drink t#eir !eer and fart a"" ni)#t' Not me' I>d rat#er !e (it# a !eautifu" (oman' +omen can $me"" it (#en &ou>re fuckin) $ome!od& e"$e' I don>t kno( #o( t#e& kno( !ut t#e& a"(a&$ kno(' And t#at>$ ok !ecau$e (omen are )ood at !ein) in denia"' And I a"(a&$ te"" t#em t#at I )o (it# ot#er (omen' T#e& never !e"ieve (#at &ou $a& an&(a&' Even if t#e& !e"ieve me t#e& a"(a&$ a**reciate t#e #one$t&' %o out and read a fe( romance nove"$' It>$ *uni$#ment, it>$ torture, !ut do it an&(a&T#e& (i"" teac# &ou a "ot a!out (omen and romance' 4omet#in) (i"" c"ick and &ou (i"" #ave a (#o"e ne( under$tandin) of (omen' M& (ife doe$n>t under$tand (#& I "ove to (atc# 4tar Trek' I "ove 4tar Trek' I can (atc# t#e T#ree 4too)e$ and en,o& m&$e"f, !ut (omen don>t "ike t#e t#ree $too)e$' It>$ not t#eir t#in)' C#eck out a fe( c#ick f"ick$, (atc# a $oa* o*era, and read a romance nove" or t(o' It (i"" #e"* &ou' T#e$e !ook$ are (ritten !& (omen for (omen' It (i"" teac# &ou a!out t#e i""u$ion, t#e romantic movie t#at (omen (ant &ou to act out' T#e& are not "ookin) for t#e !ook !ecau$e it>$ a"read& firm"& in$ta""ed in t#eir mind$' +#at t#e& need i$ an actor'

C#a*ter 5H T#inkin) Out ;oud

It.$ ver& im*ortant for &ou )u&$ to make u* &our mind a!out (#at &ou (ant in "ife and !e con)ruent a!out *ur$uin) it' T#at a"one i$ enou)# to )et (omen to $tart noticin) &ou' If &ou need a *icku* truck, &ou don.t "ook at $*ort$ car$' And if &ou need a $*ort$ car, &ou don.t )o "ookin) at van$- ;ife i$ a !unc# of c#oice$, and if &ou.re out t#ere $a&in) to t#e !road, 1He&,

"i$ten, I.m a (u$$, I can.t make u* m& mind, and I #ave no idea (#at I (ant for m&$e"fCand I.m tr&in) to *ick &ou u* to ma&!e $ee if &ou.re (#at I (ant'1 0et t#i$ i$ exact"& (#at a "ot of &ou )u&$ are doin)- If &ou #ad to !e a (ord, (ou"d &ou c#oo$e to !e t#e (ord G&e$. or t#e (ord Gma&!e.2 A "ot of &ou )u&$ are (a"kin) Gma&!e$., and it.$ co$tin) &ou t#e (omen of &our dream$' +#en I ta"k to a (oman t#at I.m attracted to, I ta"k a!out $ex' And (#atever re$*on$e $#e )ive$ me, I tr& to turn t#e conver$ation ri)#t !ack on track !& u$in) #er re$*on$e' +#en I (a$ intere$ted in #avin) $ex, I (ent $trai)#t to(ard$ t#e (omen I (anted to #ave $ex (it# and ta"ked a!out $ex (it# t#em' Ever& $tor& I te"" t#em #a$ $ex in it $ome(#ere- It.$ $im*"e' I am )ettin) #er mind to a$$ociate $ex (it# me' Becau$e a"" I (ant from #er I4 4EX- And (#et#er t#e& "ike me or not, t#e&.re )onna (ant to fuck me' I a"$o te"" t#em #o( muc# I "ike m&$e"f' I."" $a& $omet#in) "ike,10ou kno(, I #ave a )reat $en$e of #umor, m& attitude i$ incredi!"e, I.m $mart, c#armin), and I.m a"$o d&namite in ot#er area$, !ut I don.t (ant to di$cu$$ t#em no('1 And t#e ver& act of TE;;IN% #er t#at i$ #umourou$, it $#o($ t#at &ou #ave a )ood attitude, t#at &ou.re $mart, c#armin), and (#atever e"$e' T#i$ i$ not conceited- +#& (ou"dn.t &ou )ive &our$e"f a )ood recommendation2 +#en &ou )o to a ,o! intervie(, do &ou (a"k in and $a&, /HI- I.m an a$$#o"e, I.m di$#one$t, I.m "a3&, and I u$ua""& $cre( ever&t#in) u*-1 Com*etence !reed$ confidence' T#ere.$ a "ot of *eo*"e tr&in) to u$e tec#ni7ue$ in order to fee" more confident, !ut it (on.t (ork un"e$$ &ou deve"o* &our com*etence $imu"taneou$"&' And &ou (on.t #ave m& kind of confidence after &ou *ut do(n t#i$ !ook' 0ou (i"" on"& )et confidence a$ &ou u$e (#at I.m teac#in) &ou, a$ &ou )et re$u"t$ in an& $"o( (a& &ou (i$#' I (i$# I cou"d ,u$t )ive it to &ou, !ut &ou.re )oin) to #ave to earn it t#e o"d fa$#ioned (a&' Anot#er (a& to #e"* increa$e &our com*etence i$ to )o out and read a fe( !ook$' 4tud& t#e cunt' I kno( more a!out t#eir cunt$ t#an t#e& do- +#en I di$cu$$ $ex (it# a (oman, I come to t#e ta!"e (it# kno("ed)e' I kno( ever&t#in) a!out #er !od&, #er $exua"it&' 0ou can even $tart &our conver$ation (it# #er !& $a&in) $omet#in) "ike, /I kno( $o muc# a!out t#e c"itori$, &ou.d never !e"ieve #o( muc# I kno( a!out $ex- %o a#ead and a$k me AN0 7ue$tion' A$k me $omet#in) &ou t#ink on"& (omen (ou"d kno('1 4tart off a conver$ation "ike t#at, and if &ou.re not fuckin) #er !& t#e end of t#e ni)#t, t#en it.$ $afe to $a& &ou.re an idiotI #ave a friend t#at u$e$ t#i$ "ine' /Um, excu$e me, I $eem to #ave "o$t m& num!er' Can I )et &our$21 T#i$ i$ t#e $tu*id $#it t#at )u&$ are actua""&

$a&in) to (omen- I.m )"ad, !ecau$e it make$ m& "ife a "ot ea$ier' If I cou"d actua""& *ick u* a dum! !road (it# a $tu*id "ine "ike t#at, t#en ever&!od& i$ a"read& fuckin) #er' 4#e.$ $o dum!, $#e.d fuck card!oard, ok2 U$in) a dum! *icku* "ine "ike t#at i$n.t c#armin), it.$ ,u$t $tu*id' T#e fir$t t#ou)#t t#at enter$ a (oman.$ mind (#en &ou u$e a "ine "ike t#at i$, /T#i$ )u& i$ a "o$er'1 0ou mi)#t a$ (e"" cut &our *eni$ off and #and it to #er, !ecau$e &ou (on.t !e needin) itI don.t *"a& )ame$' M& card$ are out on t#e ta!"e of "ife' T#ere.$ no $u!"imina" me$$a)e$ (it# me' +omen )o out !ecau$e t#e& (ant to meet a )u&' Have t#at conver$ation (it# #er' A$k #er (#& $#e.$ out' It.$ not to !e (it# #er friend$, it.$ not to *"a& *oo", it.$ not to make )u&$ !u& #er a drink' 4#e.$ out t#ere "ookin) for a man' T#e kind of man t#at."" make #er fee" )ood, make #er fee" $afe, $*ecia", (anted' 4#e.$ (aitin) for &ou' I.m not te""in) &ou to do an&t#in) !ri""iant- 0ou ,u$t #ave to #ave t#e !a""$ to $a&, /I kno( (#at I (ant-1 U$e t#at to $tart a conver$ation' Fu$t (a"k u* and $a&, /I kno( (#at I (ant' Do &ou kno( (#at &ou (ant21 If $#e $a&$ &e$, &ou $a&, /M& name i$ UUUUUUUUU'1 Here.$ one t#at (i"" a"(a&$ (ork' +a"k u* to #er and a$k, /Do &ou "ike $tu*id idiot$ t#at #ave no direction in "ife and are afraid to take ri$k$21 Of cour$e, $#e."" $a& no- T#en &ou $a&, /T#at.$ )ood, !ecau$e I.m t#e o**o$ite of a"" t#at-1 Ho( man& do &ou (ant2 Am I )onna #ave to (rite a fuckin. !ook on *icku* "ine$2 It.$ $o ea$&- Fu$t $a& (#at &ou.re t#inkin), $a& t#e trut#, and *ut a "itt"e effort into it, t#at.$ a""' +#en &ou "earn to !e true to &our$e"f, &ou."" never need to read anot#er G*ick u* c#ick$. !ook a)ain' 4ome men #ave actua""& "ooked me $trai)#t in t#e e&e and to"d me t#at t#e rea$on t#e& can.t )et (omen i$ !ecau$e t#e& don.t "ike t#em$e"ve$' Do &ou ,erk off2 T#ere.$ t(o kind$ of *eo*"e in t#i$ (or"d' T#o$e (#o ,erk off, and "iar$- And even if t#e&.re te""in) &ou t#e trut#, &ou )otta t#ink t#at t#ere.$ $omet#in) (ron) (it# t#em if t#e& can.t ,erk off- No(, (#en &ou ma$tur!ate, &ou are )ivin) &our$e"f *"ea$ure (it# &our o(n #and- Of cour$e &ou "ove &our$e"f- T#ere.$ anot#er "ine &ou can u$e- /T#e on"& ot#er *er$on t#at I (ant touc#in) m& dick, !e$ide$ me, i$ &ou-1 0ou a"(a&$ need to direct (#ere t#e conver$ation )oe$, and &ou can.t )et "a3&' Don.t !e $#& to a$k #er a mi""ion 7ue$tion$' +#ere do &ou "ive2 Do &ou #ave roommate$2 +#at are t#e& "ike2 Do &ou )et a"on) (it# &our *arent$2 An& !rot#er$2 An& $i$ter$2 Ho( o"d i$ &our $i$ter2 I (ant to kno( a$ muc# a$ I can a!out #er a$ $oon a$ I can' ;ife i$ $#ort, and I don.t #ave time to fuck around' And if $#e a$k$ (#& I a$k $o man& 7ue$tion$, I te"" #er' I kno( $o muc# a!out t#em $o $oon t#at t#e& fee" "ike I.ve kno(n t#em

forever' /+#at food do &ou "ike to eat2 Can &ou cook2 I a"(a&$ dreamed of #avin) a )or)eou$ )ir" "ike &ou cook for me-1 If $#e $moke$, $#e fuck$' And if $#e *"a&$ (it# #er $tra( a "ot, $#e )ive$ )ood #ead' T#o$e t(o t#eorie$ #ave never fai"ed me' 4ometime$ I u$ed to (a"k u* to (omen t#at (ere $mokin) a ci)arette and $a&, /Hi' I ,u$t #ave to a$k &ou a 7ue$tion, !ecau$e I #ave t#i$ t#eor& a!out (omen, do &ou #ave a !o&friend21 /0e$'1 /T#en (#at are &ou doin) #ere, !ecau$e t#e (a& &ou $moke, &ou $#ou"d !e )ood in !ed'1 No(, if I.m ri)#t, and $#e rea""& I4 )ood in !ed and kno($ it, t#at u$ua""& )et$ me into !ed (it# t#em' And if $#e.d $a&, /No, I don.t #ave a !o&friend1, I.d $a&, /+e"", I #ave t#i$ t#eor& t#at if a (oman $moke$, $#e fuck$, and $#e.$ ver& )ood at it too-1 If &ou.re c#armin), &ou can )et a(a& (it# a"mo$t an&t#in)' +#at i$ $#e )onna $a&2 T#at I.m crude2 /0ou.re ri)#t, I am crude, !ut I "ike to )et to t#e *oint' I don.t (ant &ou to t#ink I.m !eatin) around t#e !u$#' A "ot of (omen can.t #and"e #one$t&'1 T#e !e$t defen$e i$ an attack' I never defend, I never $te* !ack' I attack, I *ut THEM on t#e defen$ive' /OH- 0ou t#ink I.m a crude *i)- 0ea#- 0ou.re ri)#t a!out t#at, I a)ree (it# &ou- 0ou.re $o *erce*tive- 0ou.re a rea""& nice (oman' I (ou"dn.t in$u"t 0OU, !ecau$e I.m too muc# of a )ent"eman-1 I (a$ ,u$t !ein) #one$t (it# #er' I didn.t $a&, /I (ant to fuck &ou1' I.m $o #one$t (it# t#em and I u$e ever&t#in) t#e& $a& and *rett& $oon t#e& a*o"o)i3e to me' Or t#e& (a"k a(a&' It doe$n.t matter to me- Becau$e I.m read& for an&t#in)' +#en I )o out, I don.t care a!out an&!od& !ut m&$e"f' +#en &ou )o out, do &ou $a& to &our$e"f, /I.m )oin) to )o out and )ive $ome!od& a (onderfu" time' It doe$n.t matter if I #ave a )ood time or not, !ut $ome!od& e"$e i$ )oin) to #ave a )ood time'1 Or do &ou t#ink, /I.m )oin) out to #ave a )ood time12 +#o t#e fuck care$ if Gt#e&. #ave a )ood time2 0ou."" *ro!a!"& never $ee t#em a)ain- He""o22 +#o.$ )oin) out of t#e #ou$e to #ave a )ood time2 0ou or t#em2 4a& t#i$K I.m )oin) out of t#e #ou$e to #ave a )ood time' Me' M&$e"f' I can on"& !e re$*on$i!"e for m&$e"f+e.re $o afraid of t#e (ord G$e"fi$#.' I.m not $e""in) an& fi$#' +e.re afraid to admit to our$e"ve$ t#at (e are a""o(ed and rea""& DO de$erve to #ave a )ood time' 4ome of m& $tudent$ actua""& "ook at a *rett& )ir" and t#ink, /I don.t (ant to ruin #er time1' 4#e doe$n.t )o out t#inkin) t#at &ou.re )oin) to #ave a )ood time and not #er' 0ou )u&$ #ave t#e (ron) *erce*tion' 0ou.re $o (orried of (#at $#e.$ )oin) to t#ink of &ou, t#at $#e (on.t "ike &ou, and it.$ (ron) to t#ink t#at (a&' 0ou.re t#inkin) a!out (#at $ome!od& t#at &ou #aven.t met !efore i$ t#inkin)' T#ink a!out t#at- 0ou.re (orried a!out $omeone t#at &ou #aven.t met &et'

I "ike to te"" t#e !itc#& one$, /I$n.t it !etter to tr& me !efore &ou ,u$t t#ro( me a(a&21 I never *ut m& #ead in t#e $and' Not#in) *u$#e$ me !ack, and I don.t retreat' Becau$e (#et#er $#e (ant$ me or not, I can a"(a&$ ,erk off' If t#e& $a& no, t#en it.$ no' I never #arm t#em, and I never t#reaten t#em' If I can.t )et #er intere$ted in me (it# m& c#arm and m& #one$t&, t#en I don.t (ant #er' I on"& (ant to !e (it# (omen (#o (ant me' It.$ m& (a& or t#e #i)#(a&' A**roac#in) )rou*$ of (omen i$ ea$&' I "ike to com*"iment a"" of t#em at t#e $ame time' I."" $a& $omet#in) "ike, /0ou kno(, it.$ ama3in)' Beautifu" )ir"$ a"" $tick to)et#er' B"ea$e, ,u$t "et me *retend for a moment t#at t#i$ i$ m& #arem'1 T#en I."" c"o$e m& e&e$, $mi"e, and $in), /Hea ven- I.m in #ea ven-1 I tr& to do $omet#in) cute "ike t#at' If &ou "ike one *articu"ar (oman in t#e )rou*, t#en &ou need to arm &our$e"f (it# )reat ammunition' And t#e ammunition &ou need i$ #er friend$' If #er friend$ "ike &ou, &ou.re in' If t#e& #ate &ou, &ou.re out' If t#e& "ike &ou, t#e&."" encoura)e #er to )o out (it# &ou' And t#at.$ if t#e& don.t tr& to $tea" &ou a(a& for t#em$e"ve$- No(, if &ou on"& ta"k to #er and tr& to i)nore #er friend$, t#en &ou en"i$t t#em to !e a)ain$t &ou' Rat#er t#an vie(in) &ou a$ a va"ua!"e addition to t#e )rou*, t#e& (i"" vie( &ou a$ ,u$t anot#er #orn& a$$#o"e tr&in) to $tea" a(a& t#eir friend' At t#i$ *oint, even if $#e doe$ "ike &ou, t#e&."" tr& to ta"k #er out of it' Be rea""& nice to t#e (or$t !itc# in t#e )rou*' Be nicer to #er' It )oe$ !ack to t#e !a$ic ru"e, treat a (#ore "ike a "ad& and a "ad& "ike a (#ore' If $#e.$ a rea" #ard a$$ !itc#, t#en $#e.$ a (#ore, $o &ou !etter treat #er "ike a "ad&' +it# t#e one.$ t#at are $(eet, treat t#em "ike (#ore$' Fu$t remem!er to $ta& c#armin) (#en &ou do itIf &ou )o to a c"u! and meet a (oman t#at.$ a co"d !itc#, ca"" #er on it' /Are &ou ,u$t a co"d !itc# to me, or do &ou treat ever&!od& t#i$ (a&21 Don.t !e $#&' 4#e certain"& i$n.t- But #er on t#e $*ot, *ut #er on t#e defen$ive' T#e !e$t defen$e i$ an attack- If &ou #ate $ome!od&, (#& (ou"d &ou (ant to fuck t#em2 If $#e.$ in a !ar, t#en (#at i$ $#e doin) t#ere if $#e doe$n.t (ant to !e a**roac#ed !& men2 /;et me )ive &ou a ti*' 4ta& #ome' 0ou.re not )oin) to meet an&!od& t#at.$ )oin) to "ike &ou'1 If t#at doe$n.t turn #er around, (#at do &ou care2 +#en I.m fir$t )ettin) to kno( a (oman, I tr& to $ta& a(a& from $u!,ect$ t#at I.m ver& *a$$ionate a!out' +#&2 Becau$e I mi)#t )et $o invo"ved in t#e conver$ation t#at I for)et m& ori)ina" a)enda' +#en I )o out to meet (omen, I.m not )oin) t#ere to ta"k a!out *o"itic$' If I.m t#ere to fuck, t#en I tr& to kee* t#e conver$ation centered on #er, or on u$, or on $ex' +#at.$ a (oman )oin) to $a& to &ou if &ou $a&, /I don.t (ant to ta"k a!out t#at ri)#t

no(, I (ant to ta"k a!out &ou'1 +#at.$ $#e )oin) to $a&2 No22 Ok, )ood!&eI "ike to cut to t#e c#a$e' +e.re not immorta"%u&$ are a"(a&$ a$kin) me a!out t#e G$u*er #ot one$. and t#at can mean on"& t(o t#in)$' Eit#er I t#ink $#e.$ #ot !& m& $tandard$ or #e t#ink$ $#e.$ #ot !& #i$ $tandard$' 0ou #ave to treat t#em a"" t#e $ame !ecau$e t#e& rea""& are a"" t#e $ame' T#at.$ (#at &ou fina""& rea"i3e after #avin) $"e*t (it# a "ot of (omen' 4ince t#e&.re a"" t#e $ame, &ou don.t #ave to (orr&' A "ot of (omen "ike to u$e t#eir !od& to taunt men' I remem!er t#i$ one (oman t#at u$ed to mani*u"ate men ri)#t, "eft, and center' Ever& time I $a( #er $#e (a$ tea$in) $ome *oor ,erk (#o #ad a rea""& $tu*id confu$ed "ook on #i$ face- +#en $#e did it to me I $im*"& $aid, /If &ou (ant to tea$e me, t#at.$ ok, !ut I #ave a ru"e' 0ou #ave to "ook me $trai)#t in t#e e&e (#en &ou do it'1 T#e "ook on #er face (a$ *rice"e$$C"u! tec#ni7ue$' Mo$t )u&$ are (orried t#at $ince t#e& aren.t a!"e to ta"k in a noi$& c"u! t#at t#e& can.t *ick u* )ir"$' Fu$t (a"k in and !e friend"&, !e nice' If $#e offer$ &ou #er #and, ki$$ it "ike in t#e o"d da&$' Ma&!e $mi"e and ru! #er c#eek, or ru! &our "e)$ a)ain$t #er$ tea$in)"& a$ &ou $*end time (it# #er' I u$ed to )o in, *ick u* a )ir", !rin) #er #ome, fuck #er, t#en I.d )o !ack to t#e c"u! to *ick u* anot#er one' It.$ t#at ea$&' I "ike $it do(n *"ace$ !etter' If t#ere.$ a )ir" $ittin) t#ere and an em*t& $too" $ittin) !e$ide #er, t#en it.$ ea$& a$ #e"" to *ick #er u*' But if t#e !ar i$ too noi$&, take #er !& t#e #and and )et #er $ome(#ere more *eacefu"' T#i$ i$ t#e *art a!out $#o(in) intere$t' If &ou (ant to ta"k to #er in a 7uieter *"ace t#en ,u$t do it' If $#e $a&$ no, &ou $a& ok and move on' +#en I u$ed to *ick u* t(o )ir"$ on t#e $ame ni)#t I u$ed to te"" t#e $econd )ir" exact"& (#at I (a$ doin)' /I met $omeone a"read& toni)#t, (e )ot undre$$edCa"" I kno( i$ I.m !ack #ere no('1 Te"" t#em an&t#in) &ou (ant' And $ome (omen (on.t )o #ome (it# &ou if t#e& kno( &ou (ere ,u$t in !ed (it# $ome!od& e"$e' T#at.$ ok too' E$*ecia""& no( t#at $ex can ki"" (e need to !e carefu"' Di$ea$e$ are ram*ant' If $#e dre$$e$ $"utt& &ou $#ou"dn.t i)nore it' Don.t !e "ike ever& ot#er idiot and tr& to *retend &ou didn.t notice' If &ou.re afraid, )et rid of t#e fear and &our *ro!"em$ (it# (omen di$a**ear' A (oman i$ a ver& funn& kind of *er$on' 0ou.re not a mi""ionaire, &ou.re not a rock $tar, and &ou.re not a movie $tar' If &ou are, t#en &ou can #ave ,u$t a!out an& (oman &ou (ant' Man& &ear$ a)o, I #ad a friend (#o #ad t#i$ cra3& t#eor&, and t#e o"der I )ot, t#e more #i$ t#eor& $tarted makin) $en$e to me' T#i$ )u& never (anted to )o out (it# re)u"ar (omen' T#e on"& (omen #e (anted to date (ere #ooker$' He $a&$ t#at (omen are a"" #ooker$ an&(a&, !ecau$e t#e& a"" (ant $omet#in) from a )u&, u$ua""& mone&' He

$a&$ t#at it.$ c#ea*er to )o out (it# *ro$titute$ t#an it i$ to #ave a )ir"friend or a (ife' And #e.$ 655Q ri)#t' But &ou $ee, mo$t of u$ (ere !rou)#t u* to (ant more t#at ,u$t fuckin)- +e (ant to )et to kno( t#e )ir", and (e deve"o* romantic fee"in)$ for #er' +e (ant to #ave a "itt"e !it of a #ard time once in a (#i"e' 0ou can a"(a&$ te"" (#at a (oman t#ink$ #er !e$t $exua" feature i$' :or exam*"e, if $#e t#ink$ t#at #er a$$ i$ #er !e$t feature, durin) #er conver$ation (it# &ou $#e (i"" *ro!a!"& turn around or do $omet#in) to )et &ou to notice #er a$$' 4ome of t#e$e (omen (ear *ant$ t#at are $o ti)#t &ou can actua""& $ee t#e "i*$ on #er cunt' No(, if t#at doe$n.t te"" &ou t#at $#e (ant$ to !e noticed, not#in) (i""' +#enever I $ee a (oman dre$$ed $o $"utt& (it# #er tit$ #an)in) out it ama3e$ me to $ee a"" of t#e$e )u&$ $tandin) around #er *retendin) not to notice- It !ecome$ "ike t#e e"e*#ant on t#e $ofa' 0ou t#ro( a *art& and a"" of &our friend$ are t#ere and t#ere.$ t#i$ e"e*#ant on t#e couc# and no!od& $a&$ an&t#in) a!out it' If &ou don.t #ave t#e coura)e to !e #one$t (it# &our$e"f and (it# (omen, t#en &ou are a din)"e!err&' 0ou kno( (#at a din)"e!err& i$2 It.$ t#at "itt"e *iece of $#it t#at $tick$ to t#e #air of &our a$$' A din)"e!err& i$ $o c"o$e to t#e *u$$& !ut never make$ it a"" t#e (a& to t#e front' 4o if &ou (ant to !e a din)"e!err& for t#e re$t of &our "ife and make excu$e$ for (#& &ou can.t )et (omen, continue' But if &ou decide to take a fuckin. c#ance and !e #one$t, &ou (on.t !e"ieve t#e tran$formation in t#e (a& (omen (i"" "ook at &ou' I don.t t#ink t#ere.$ an& rea$on (#& &ou can.t "ook at $ome!od& and ,u$t $im*"& te"" t#em (#atever fear i$ )oin) t#rou)# &our mind' If &ou #ave a ,o!, t#e& didn.t come over to &our *arent$. #ou$e and dra) &ou to t#e ,o! and make &ou (ork for t#em' 0ou #ave to )o out t#ere and )et it' I (a$n.t !orn t#i$ (a&' I u$ed to !e $#& (#en I (a$ &oun)er' :ocu$ on (#at &ou (ant, and !e #one$t (it# &our$e"f' If I $ee a (oman and I t#ink, /I.d rea""& "ike to fuck #er on t#e #ood of m& car1, t#at.$ a"" I.m t#inkin) a!out' I.m a $im*"e man' If &ou.re $#& it.$ !ecau$e &ou are t#inkin) too muc#' Fu$t "ook at t#e$e !i), dum! ,ock$ and $ee #o( t#e& *ick u* (omen' T#e& ma& !e dum! a$$e$, !ut t#e&.re kee*in) it $im*"e' +e.re $o !u$& makin) excu$e$ in order to ,u$tif& our $#&ne$$' But t#e fact of t#e matter i$ &ou create $#&ne$$' 0ou #ave to actua""& $it t#ere and ima)ine )ettin) re,ected or em!arra$$ed' I don.t care if &ou (ere a!u$ed a$ a c#i"d !ecau$e t#at.$ over no(' 4ometime$ I (i$# m& *arent$ #ad a!u$ed me (#en I (a$ a c#i"d !ecau$e it mi)#t #ave )otten me on O*ra#' +#en a (oman a$k$ me to te"" #er a!out m&$e"f, I $a&, /I.m a fa!u"ou$ )u&-1 and t#e& a"mo$t a"(a&$ $a&, /Bo&, &ou $ure t#ink #i)#"& of &our$e"f-1 and I re*"&, /0ou ,u$t a$ked me to te"" &ou a!out m&$e"f, and if I didn.t )ive

m&$e"f a #i)# recommendation t#en t#at (ou"d make me a *rett& dum! *rick, don.t &ou t#ink21 +#o.$ a !etter ex*ert a!out &ou t#an &our$e"f2 Don.t !e afraid to te"" t#em t#at &ou t#ink &ou.re a )reat )u&' I )ive m&$e"f t#e #i)#e$t *o$$i!"e recommendation- +#at am I )oin) to $a&2 /U#, #e""o, I.m a rea" "o$er (it# "o( $e"f e$teem and even if I did #ave a !i) dick I (ou"dn.t kno( (#at to do (it# it-1 +#en &ou rea""& $tart $ucceedin) (it# (omen, $ome of t#em are )oin) to tr& to )ive &ou a #ard time a!out it' But if &ou tru"& don.t care (#at t#e& $a& t#en &ou.re free from a"" t#at $#it' If a !road trie$ to )ive &ou a #ard time a!out an&t#in), t#e (or$e t#in) &ou can do i$ )et defen$ive and tr& to convince #er of &our $incerit&' I remem!er t#i$ one )ir" (#o $tarted in on me a!out m& re*utation a$ a *"a&er' I didn.t ar)ue, I to"d #er t#at ever&t#in) *eo*"e $a& a!out me i$ true' +#at can $#e $a&2 4#e i$ $tuck' I.m not )oin) to ar)ue (it# #er' In t#i$ cu"ture, (e $*end too muc# time t#inkin) and ar)uin) (#en (e cou"d $im*"& !e fuckin)' M& re"ation$#i* i$ not a democrac&' It.$ a dictator$#i*' If &ou.ve ever !een married and divorced t#en &ou kno( #o( democracie$ (ork- I #ave a !eautifu" re"ation$#i* (it# m& (ife and kid$' I don.t #ave to a$k m& (ife for *ermi$$ion to )o out (it# m& friend$' I don.t #ave to a$k for an&t#in) in m& "ife' If &ou !u& $ome!od& a *re$ent, )ive it to t#em' T#ere.$ too man& )ift$ f"oatin) around t#at #ave $trin)$ attac#ed to t#em' If I !u& a mea" for a (oman, I don.t care (#at $#e doe$ (it# it' I !ou)#t #er a mea" !ecau$e I fe"t "ike it' If &ou )o over to a )ir".$ #ou$e and $#e make$ &ou a mea" &ou don.t "ike, don.t *retend t#at &ou "ike it !ecau$e $#e mi)#t cook it a)ain- If a (oman !u&$ &ou a )ift, &ou mi)#t (ant to a$k #er if t#ere are an& $trin)$ attac#ed to t#e )ift' A "ot of time$ t#ere (i"" !e' 4ometime$ t#e $trin)$ are tou)#er to cut off t#an ot#er$' I kno( (#at.$ )oin) t#rou)# &our mind$' /I.m not )ood "ookin) enou)# for #er'1 /I.m not ta"" enou)#'1 /I.m not ric# enou)#'1 /I.m not funn& enou)#1 /I.m not $"im enou)#'1 /I.m not !i) enou)#'1 /M& dick i$ too $ma""'1 And m& a"" time favoriteK /I #ave "o( $e"f e$teem-1 +ant to kno( (#at t#e&.re t#inkin)2 T#e&.re t#inkin), /+#at kind of $tu*id "ine i$ t#i$ *rick )oin) to tr& on me21 8In fact, t#at.$ a )reat *icku* "ine- T#e !e$t "ine$ ,u$t #a**en to !e t#e #one$t trut# of (#at &ou are t#inkin) at an& moment'9