Other Booklets in this series

Contact <scripturalfocus@gmail.com> for copies Biblical Truths on Quiet time with God(Eng Tel! The Bac"slider at heart (Eng Tel! #tudent in $issions (Eng Tel! Christ and %eaders Biblical truths on stewardship En&o'ing Bible in Groups

Secure and Sensible relationship (ll rights reser)ed* no part of this boo"let ma' be reproduced* stored in a retrie)al s'stem or transmitted in an' form without the prior permission of the cop'right owners. (n' part of this boo"let that is +uoted must bear reference to the title and author. The meticulous efforts of $s ,esl'ne ,e'ara& in re)iewing the language of the manuscript are ac"nowledged. Printed by: Campus Boo"s. -./-(
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0rice1 2s 34

Content
0reface555555..5555555. 555556 -ntroduction55555555555. 5.5.55.7 %o)ing 2elationships555555. 5555.58 Enduring relationships...........................39 :ealth' relationships5555555..........36 Belonging 2elationships555555555;9 :ea)enl' 2elationships555555555..;3

Conclusion5. 555555555555..555;6

0reface
- ha)e gone through this boo" which hass a message to students and 'oung graduates. (s the world is messing up relationships and hurting in the process* this boo" is will e<plain the biblical truths of concerning relations. - pra' that the reader of this boo" will understand the truth behind the health' relationships and God=s purpose for them. This boo" gi)es a clear picture of /ating and %i)e>in>relationships -t also spea"s about health' relationships>which God wants e)er' human to follow to be blessed and fruitful* There is a chapter on di)orce and remarriage too. ?inall' it gi)es steps to help people maintain health' relations and understanding Christ=s role in o)ercoming temptations and trails which are on our path. ( relationship is an emotional connection between people. That means 'ou
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can=t be the onl' one wanting the relationship. The )ital components that ma"e a relationship successful are respect* caring* commitment and treating marriage li"e a partnership instead of romantic fantas'. %o)e and respect are meant to be earned from our children* our spouses* our families and our friends. There is a sa'ing b' ?redric" .iet@sche>A-t=s not a lac" of lo)e* but a lac" of friendship that ma"es unhapp' marriagesB -t=s true that lac" of understanding between the partnerslead to brea" ups. 0urit' in heart and mind also helps to maintain and de)elop a health' relationship. Ce ha)e a choice to ma"e in this world.. to ha)e filth' or health' relationships. Campusboo"s are so gratified to 2e) , . $ano"aran for gi)ing permission to ta"e few chapters forms his boo" AChrist & families: strong families for global transformationB to include in this Boo". The first fi)e chapters of this boo" are b' Rev J !anokaran and last two chapters i.e.* :ea)enl' 2elationships and Conclusion are written b' Bro" # John $himothy. > D $ar'

( 'oung man is interested in a girl and fell in lo)e with her. But he is unable to communicate his feelings with her. :e shares his inner longings with his friend* who de)ises a wa' to bring her to him for a lunch. The bo' and girl are alone. E)ercome b' lust and passion and he rapes the girl. -n modern parlance it could be called F/ate rape=. Then he re&ects her and also hates her with the same intensit' of his Flo)e= for her. This is an adapted )ersion of -- #amuel 3G1 3> ;3. The )ictim of was Tamar and the rapist was (mnon. (mnon thought he was in lo)e with Tamar* but he was interested in her bod' not in her. :e had infatuation rather than true lo)e. #econd* :e did not ha)e respect or regard for her as a woman* but desired herher ph'sicall'. :e was not loo"ing for a
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-ntroduction

companion or life partner* but a to' to pla' with. :e did not ha)e respect for Tamar=s feelings or desire or aspirations. :e selfishl' gratified himself. Thirdl'* he did not ha)e words to e<press his lo)e or appreciation for her. :e did not ha)e the con)iction or courage to communicate with her* as his lo)e was not genuine but with e)il intentions. ?our* he also operated with a mind>set that he could force his will upon an' person including Tamar. :e did not thin" lo)e as reciprocate or relationships needs mutual consent. ?i)e* also* he saw se< as casual acti)it'* without reference to marriage. Tamar on the other hand was naH)e and was not smart enough to smell the e)il intentions of (mnon. #he was totall' unprepared to confront a situation li"e this. -f she had been wise* she would ha)e discerned the e)il intention of (mnon* when he wanted her in his bedroom. -n that case* she would ha)e asserted herself and would ha)e refused to go to (mnon=s bedroom to pro)ide him food. %eveloping healthy relationships1 -t is essential to de)elop health' relationships with people of the opposite se<. 0urit' in relationships is )er' essential. Considering people of other se< as brother sister with purit' of mind is essential. -ntimate
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relationship is possible onl' within marriage and with one person onl'. That means se< is hol' within the conte<t of marriage and sin outside marriage.

%o)ing 2elationships
%efinition1 /ating is an' social acti)it' underta"en b' two people with the aim of each assessing the otherIs suitabilit' as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutuall' agreed upon social acti)it'. Traditional dating acti)ities include entertainment or a meal. %ating is not physical relationship 1 /ating is a social acti)it' and it is done generall' in public places li"e restaurants or
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par"s. -t does not happen in pri)ate rooms and homes. -t is the time to tal" with one another to understand the other person. -n the postmodern culture* dating has been degraded into ph'sical relationship* which is not good for 'oung people to rush into. %ating is to understand one another1 There are se)eral areas both should tr' to understand. ?oremost* one needs to "now the attitude of a person towards )arious aspects of life* which includes religious life* spiritualit'* career* mone' etc. (lso figure out the breadth and depth of the thin"ing of a person. -s the person narrow>minded or broad>mindedJ /oes s he ha)e pre&udices that ma' affect 'our relationshipJ -s the person is a prisoner of the past or future> orientedJ Chat are the li"es and disli"esK choices and preferencesK hobbies and habitsJ Chat is the communication st'leJ %ating is to determine the possibility of commitment1 Chen a person understands general aspects of another person* then s he could e<plore whether this relationship could ha)e long term commitment. Dnowing the other person=s strengths and wea"ness* li"e and disli"es* etc. 'ou can determine whether there could be commitment to one another. Can - trust this person with m' whole lifeJ
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%ating is to decide on marriage 1 -f 'ou are sure that 'ou could understand that person=s intentions* lifest'le* thin"ing pattern and attitude and determine to trust 'our life with him her* then 'ou can ta"e the ne<t step. The ne<t step is to thin" and commit for marriage.

Enduring relationships
-n the modern world* di)orces ha)e become common especiall' among the 'ounger generation. -t is )er' painful to see man' 'oung men and women go through this emotional suffering. ?ew are able to cope and start life fresh and man' ha)e permanent setbac"s in their li)es. There is an increase in
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the number of di)orces among Christians in the southern states* esp in the cities of Chennai* Tri)andrum* :'derabad and Bangalore. There are also reports from among .on> 2esident -ndians that di)orces are common. :ow should we respond to this situationJ E)en in -ndia Ftrial marriages= or Fli)e>in> relationship= are becoming common. Loung couples want to e<periment before getting married as the' see this is better than a di)orce in future. The $aharashtra Go)ernment is planning to ma"e this arrangement legal. Case study: :ere is a real incidentK a 'oung person who came to Christ from another faith was married with a girl from a so called Fspiritual church=. This marriage was solemni@ed b' two globall' popular pastors. Cithin twent' da's both families were in the police stationand later the' fought a bitter di)orce case in the famil' court. .ow at the age of G9 he is a di)orced man. Chat is the future of this bo'J #hould he remain single for the ne<t G9 'earsJ God does not want man to be alone. &bstain from marriage (celibac'! is an e<ception permitted b' the scriptures to a
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)er' few who ha)e the Fgift= to Fcontain= this burning* or perhaps are not pressed with the urge to marr'. The apostle 0aul claimed to ha)e this gift from God. ?rom )erse ;8* ;M of this chapter we can understand that the suggestions of abstinence found in 3 Cor N were gi)en onl' in the prospect of imminent tribulation and the time being short. #ince that situation changed 0aul writing later to Timoth' clearl' warns that forbidding to marr' in order to please Go* or to attain spiritual ob&ecti)es ma' be the doctrine of /e)ils (3 Timoth' 613>G! '(ive)in* relationship* a man and a woman li)ing together without marriage is sin before God. #uch relationships are based neither on a co)enant nor a legal commitmentK either partner being at libert' to discontinue their association at will and mo)e on. This results in illegitimate children* further compounded b' single or foster parenting* both of which seriousl' undermine God=s will (0ro)erbs 4134>38!. Pre)marital relationships are fornication* and children born out of such relationships are bastards* for the' are concei)ed out of wed loc" (:eb 3G16!.

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There will be lot of biological changes in the bod' of a person during the age of 3G>;4 'ears of age. /uring this age urge for se< is normal and natural. This is the wa' God designed it. Girls lo)e to hear bo's and bo's lo)e to see girls. #o girls will spend most of their time o)er the phone to "ill the urge in their bod' and bo's spend their time watching pornograph' dreaming of se<.God=s purpose of "eeping urge for se< is not to in)ol)e in these "inds of things (flirting!. These feelings are not to "ill but to maintain the self>control* patience and long suffering. (t this stage we need to start thin"ing about choosing alife partner Se+ over Phone and Se+ Over chat: se<ting between a husband and his wife would not be a sin* still it is ill>ad)ised. Ce ne)er "now who might read our messages or )iew our pictures. -t=s possible that someone ma' happen to see nude photos of 'our spouse o)er 'our shoulder* and this ma' cause lust in that person as a result. (,ames 3136>34!.C'berse< and phone se< are sinful ()irtuall' fornication or adulter'! and fantasi@ing about a personis immoral and impure. The' lead a person into the trap of Ae)er>increasing wic"ednessB (2omans 713M!. Gi)en recent re)elations concerning go)ernment sur)eillance of cellular telephone
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and internet traffic* we should be careful in our use of phones and web>enabled de)ices. E)en if we=re not se<ting* we still face the problems of identit' theft and data pri)ac'. &gainst $heir nature: Coman against her nature1 OE)en their women e<changed natural relations for unnatural onesO (2omans 31;7>;N!.%esbianism is described as women e<changing natural relations (with men! for unnatural relations (with women!. -t is e)idence that Athe sinful desires of their hearts to se<ual impurit' for the degrading of their bodies with one anotherB (2omans 31;6!. ( ga' or lesbian who acti)el' perpetuall'* and unrepentantl' li)es an unnatural lifest'le is not trul' a Christian. :e lost his testimon'. :e won=t be suitable for public ministr'.

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:ealth' relationships
$he ,deal: A?or this reason a man will lea)e his father and mother and be united to his wife* and the' will become one flesh.B The ideal marriage is a lifelong co)enant relationship between a man and a woman based on lo)e* sacrifice and ser)ice. But* in the sinful world* an ideal marriage seems to be a mirage for man'. Though there are man' successful stories* there are failures and unhealth' relationships. Ce should be proacti)e to gi)e importance to 0re>marital counseling* instead of ha)ing to inter)ene with counseling and reconciliation when the marriage is under crisis. The importance of pre>marital counseling has been gra)el' underestimated or wrongl' addressed. -n pre>marital counseling we
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need to address )arious issuesK wh' should marr'J Dnowing GodIs will* how to choose a partnerJ * concerns o)erdowr' etc. $he Practice: -n the older generation* husband and wife li)ed together e)en though there were differences of opinion or conflicts. Ene of the reasons was the women did not wor" and were solel' dependent on the husband and di)orce was not an economic possibilit'. #econd* there was social stigma as the blame alwa's rested on the woman. The men could easil' get married again and not women. Third* women suffered and endured all humiliation for the sa"e of the children. But the 'ounger generation is different. The' are better educated* ha)e capacit' to ta"e bold decisions* and are well informed and aware of their constitutional rights. Generall'* girls li"e to be professionall' +ualified and establish a career e)en before marriage. #o* the' need not be economicall' dependent on husband* and are self>reliant. Cith globali@ation and urbani@ation the social stigma is urban areas is absent. #elf>reliant women are respected for their courage and ha)e managed to li)e as single woman or married again. The children also ha)e

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become pawns in the conflict and ha)e to cope with the new unusual situation. #od -ates %ivorce and ot Remarriage: God hates di)orce but the Bible does not sa' that God hates remarriage. But God allowed $oses to gi)e a statute pro)iding di)orce* due to hardness of the hearts of people. The %aw is hol'* but human beings are sinful. God is :ol'*understands human fragilit' and is generall' merciful. -n the %aw* the punishment for adulter' was death. (t the same time* /euteronom' ;61 3> 6 mentions remarriage after a di)orce* does not call it adulter'* and does not demand the death penalt' for the remarried spouse. &reas of Conflicts: There are certain instances in which di)orce and remarriage are permitted without the remarriage being considered adulter'. These instances would include unrepentant adulter'* ph'sical abuse of spouse or children* and abandonment of a belie)ing spouse b' an unbelie)ing spouse. :a)ing an affair or ph'sical relationship outside marriage is adulter'. Being abusi)e P )erbal* mental* ph'sical and )iolence to spouse or children puts the health and ph'sical safet' of spouse or children at high ris". (bandoning and not caring for the
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spouse and famil' is also considered breach of one bod' principle. Reconciliation: 2econciliation is a process that could be ta"en up b' the spouses themsel)es. -f there is an attitude of repentance and humilit'* one can as" forgi)eness from theother and the spouse can graciousl'forgi)e and forget. 2epeatedl' ma"ing the mista"e and as"ing for forgi)eness will brea" an' relationship. 2econciliation fails if one person is adamant* stubborn or ego>centric. :usband belie)e in -ndian culture rather than scripture and the' do not see the need for see"ing forgi)eness from the wife. The attitude is1 :usband is alwa's right and the wife is alwa's to be blamed. -f reconciliation between the couple does not wor"* the' could call the elders in the famil' to help them. $ature elderl' relati)es* who are concerned about the couple=s welfare could inter)ene and facilitate the process of reconciliation. But* if elders ta"e a partial stand then it would worsen the situation* as both would harden their positions. #ometimes a professional counselor or pastor could be in)ited to help. This is possible in big cities where Christian counselors are
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a)ailable. E)en .on 2esident -ndians also ha)e this option in Cestern countries. Trained pastors ha)e s"ills in counseling and could be in)ited to help. -t is also possible to in)ite the elders in the church to spea" and bring about reconciliation. -t helps to bring the collecti)e wisdom of church leadership to help in the reconciliation process. -f all these steps fail* then the person has to be treated li"e a FGentileB or FQnbelie)er= or F0agan=. #ince the person does not come under Church discipline* that person cannot be treated as God fearing* God honoring Christian. That means reconciliation option is o)er and there is room onl' of legal action. Constitutional rights protect a person when moral rights are not in operation. #o* it is essential for e)er'one to be aware of constitutional rights. ?or e<ample* husband=s famil' tortures a girl for insufficient dowr'* what should the girl doJ -f she were aware of constitutional rights* she would see" &ustice. %ivorce: :ow can a person be treated as an Qnbelie)er=J -t means to treat the person according to the law of the land. Getting a legal di)orce would be the onl' option. God has called us to li)e in peace not under
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constant tension of fear* doubt* suspicion* an<iet' and abuse. :ome that has to pro)ide safet'* peace and &o' becomes a nightmare* see"ing the best wa' out is wisdom. Chen all options are e<hausted* then di)orce ma' be initiated. .ictim or &ggressor There is a misconception that one who files or initiates the di)orce is the aggressor and the other is the )ictim. #ometimes a )ictim of abusi)e relationship ma' file di)orce petition to protect his her life. That is done in self> defense rather than as aggressi)e act. The di)orce proceedings could be initiated as aggressi)e act or as self>protection act. #ometimes di)orce could be obtained b' mutual consent. Both at least agrees to end this incompatible relationship and file for di)orce. /i)orcees and Cidows ers Those who ha)e di)orced or lost their spouse ha)e an option to remain single or get married again. 0aul suggests that remaining single is a good option. But he does not disallow remarriage. ?or the sa"e of companionship* rising up children* d'namic social life and e)en ministr'* marr'ing again would be preferable.

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Belonging Relationships
(fter di)orce or separation or death of a partner we ma' be planning to enter into a new relationship. &ccept: #elf>acceptance as God created us in :is image and died on the cross of Cal)ar' is an important step in the process of entering a new relationship. 2ight self>mage* trustand honest' are needed for an' health' relationship. &ccept forgiveness: (s"ing forgi)eness from the %ord and forgi)ing oneself is the ne<t step. Though M9R of blame ma' rest on the other spouse* see"ing forgi)eness from the %ord would be a good* health' and spiritual e<ercise. This relationship should be based on transformation that has happened through %ord ,esus Christ i.e e/ Creation. Be Pragmatic (lso* it would be wise to be pragmatic in e<ecuting this new relationship. 3. :andling pre)ious memories sentiments ;. :andling children G. :andling finances and
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assets. -n these areas there should be clear written understanding. Remarriage: #ome /enominations ha)e a strict discipline that remarriages cannot be solemni@ed while some are open to the idea. There is a great need for the leaders to thin" and wor" out a creati)e solution. -t need not be according to traditions or trends but creati)e scriptural solution. Creative solution: 0irst* ac"nowledge the fact there is a problem in the families. $an' Christians den' that the famil' is under attac". Secondly1 find biblical principles for famil'. $ost follow the dominant culture practices. :ow man' would declare that the' would not solemni@e marriage if there is dowr' transactionJ :ow man' would proacti)el' interfere if there is domestic )iolenceJ :ow man' teach 'oung men that their priorit' is wife not motherJ #cripture teaches for bo' to emotionall' detach from famil' and &oins his wife. But culture teaches girl to forget her home and &oin the husband=s famil'. :ow man' teach the truth concerning marriage and the will of GodJ

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$hirdly1 begin pre>marital counseling for couples to be married and bible teaching for mothers>in>law* fathers>in>law* sisters>in>law and brothers>in>law. 0ourthly* strengthen counseling ministries for couples and seminars for families ma' be conducted so that families find safet' in the arms of the %ord and do not come under #atan=s attac". 0ifth1 we should not permit Fforced marriage= in the name of Farranged marriage=.

-eavenly Relationships
AChrist is entered into hea)en itself now to appear in the presence of God for usB (:eb M1;6!. 3! (s our great :igh priest ma"es intercession for us ;! (s an ad)ocate :e restores us. :ebrews 813>GK M1;6>;8K 3 ,ohn ;13 #in was righteousl' dealt with at the cross (:eb M1;6>;8!. #o that he ne)er needs to die again as there remains A.o more sacrifice for sinsB. Christ was not a priest on earth after the %e)itical order* and ne)er entered the
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:ol' 0lace or :ol' of :olies in the Temple* for :e was of the "ingl' tribe ,udah. But now he is a priest after a better "ind* The AErder of $elchisede"B not one of a succession of d'ing men as (aron was* but an e)er li)ing priest (:eb ;13NK 6136K 71;9K N13N!.

Our great -igh priest makes intercession for us( priest is one who
goes into God=s presence for others and ministers the blessings of the co)enant to :is people. Ce need no other priestK our case is safe in :is hands. :e is the one who "eeps us b' intercession (:eb N1;6>;8! and help. Ce need e)er' da' AGrace to helpB and this :E gi)es us from the throne of Grace (:eb 6136> 37!. The following ten points can be learnt b' heart so that we can en&o' the wor" of the Christ as 0riest. 3! :is priest hood is to "eep the belie)er from falling (:eb N1;4! ;! :is priest hood is for a time of period > our temptations and infirmities (:eb 6134>37! G! :is intercession as a priest is that we might beha)e well ( %u"e ;;1G;! 6! :e is priest
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with God (:eb ;13NK N1;4! 4! (s a priest he s'mpathi@es in our wea"nesses and infirmities (:eb ;13N>38K :eb 6134>37! 7! (s a priest it is :is life on high that sa)es the belie)er from falling into sin (2omans 4139K:eb N1;4! N! -n connection with his priest hood :is ser)ice is called O?aithful and mercifulO (:eb ;13N! 8! :is wor" as :igh priest interceding for us is continuous. O:e e)er li)eth to ma"e intercession for usO (:eb N1;4!. M! in time of temptations and trial* the belie)er goes to :im as :is :igh priest to find help (:eb N1;4! 39! Because of :is wor" as a :igh priest* the belie)er can come boldl' to the throne of grace to find merc' and grace to :elp (:eb 6134>37

&s an &dvocate restores us

-e

-e is our &dvocate (3 ,ohn ;13>;! Chen his people sin :e pleads for them that on the ground of :is finished wor" sin shall not be laid to their charge. The' ha)e the :ea)enl' father=s forgi)eness for :is name=s sa"e (3 ,ohn 31MK Eph 61G;!.
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The following ten points can be learnt b' heartto en&o' the wor" of the Christ as (d)ocate. 3! :is (d)ocac' is to restore the belie)er if he fails (%u"e ;;173! ;! :is (d)ocac' is for a time of failure and sin (3 ,ohn ;13>;! G! :is intercession as an (d)ocate begins when the belie)er doesn=t beha)e well (3 ,ohn ;13>;! 6! :e is an ad)ocate with the father* -f sin entered into belie)er relationship is still as father (3 ,ohn ;13>;! 4! (s an ad)ocate :e grie)es o)er our sin (%u"e ;;173! 7! (s an (d)ocate he stands before the father on the grounds of 0ropitiation he made once and fore)er (3 ,ohn ;13>;! N! -n regard to (d)ocac'* God is O,ust and ?aithfulO* God wont demand again a price again as Christ alread' paid for it (3 ,ohn ;13>;! 8! :is wor" as (d)ocate is intermittent* it starts with the fall of sin to the confession of sin (3 ,ohn ;13>;K 3 ,ohn 31M! M! -n case of a belie)er sinning* :e cannot go on his Ewn* Christ ad)ocac' ma"es him to 2eco)er ( %u"e ;;173! 39! Because of ChristIs ad)ocac' * a belie)er comes bac" and repents (3 ,ohn 31M
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Conclusion
Source of temptations: Temptations originate from 3! with in us (,ames 3136! %ust drawn awa' b' the e)il desires of our own hearts* or in)ited b' the /e)il to do wic"edl'. The flesh is the lusting of our own bodil' desires called often Abesetting sinB* the in)itation to gratif' the bod' rather than control and use it right (3 Cor M1;N! ;! ( /a'* where we are li)ing is e)il Ephesians 4137. The' do not come from God* ,ames 313G. God allowed #atan to tempt ,ob (,ob 318K 3 peter 418* M!. The world allures us to li)e for passing things in the indulgence of self and neglecting of the will of God (3 ,ohn ;134>3N! $emptation in both senses is the common lot of every man (3 Cor 3913G!. Enl' ,esus was e<empt from an' lust* for Ain :im was no sinB. Both are of ser)ice of us. God tries or tests our faith* for untried things are of little )alue* and the conflict with sin within and without will continue as part of the
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disciple of life until we die or are ta"en to be with the %ord. -t is an opportunit' of +uitting li"e men in battle. $emptations /ill never be too strong for the child of #od /alking spiritually (3 Cor 3913G! :e ma' alwa's sa' 2, can3 and ne)er sa' 2, Can*t3 ?or God has promised that :is grace is sufficient. $emptations must be resisted in the thought and not merely in the act" Thin"ing e)il is li"e soa"ing rags in gasoline* the first spar" of temptation sets them abla@e. The A%ustB begins in the mind and if indulged brings forth sin (,ames 3134! therefore mortif' ("ill! the motions of sin in the bod' and bring e)er' thought into obedience into Christ (-- Cor 3914K 2omans 813G!. $o resist temptation one must be strong in the (ord" To neglect Bible reading* pra'er and other means of grace and strength is to become wea" and open to attac" and to be easil' defeated. Therefore* gi)e importance pra'er and Bible 2eading.

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$o resist besetting sin one must /alk by the Spirit" This is the AsecretB of o)ercoming sin. AThis - sa' then* wal" b' the spirit and 'e shall not fulfill the lusts of the fleshB (Galatians 4137! &bstaining from sin is the great remedy" .o half measure will do. (n' e<ceptionswea"ens the whole warfare. Therefore A#in notB (3 ,ohn ;13! $o resist the $emptations one must "now will of god ($athew 613>33! P A/e)il %eft :imB. The de)il see"s to undermine our confidence in Christ and :is word. :e is the (rch %iar and murders men b' e)il suggestion. :e is o)ercome b' the word of God. A-t is writtenB was the weapon ,esus used to defeat. ATransformed b' renewing of mindB (2omans 3;13>;!* A#word of the spirit* which is the word of GodB (Ephesians 713N!* A#et 'our mind on proper thingsB (Colossians G1;!* ADeep watching and pra'ingB ($athew ;7163!* A/o not mimic the wa' the world doesB (0ro)erbs 6136>34!* ATa"e a drastic measureB ($athew 41;M!. (nother area where we can control is our thoughts* tongue
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and temper. The fruit of the spirit is self> control (Galatians 41;;>;G!. #elf>control is the mar" of a true man. 4e are bidden Be renewed in the spirit of your mind (Ephod 61;G!. That is in the disposition or temper. The temper pro)o"es thin"ing and mo)es the tongue. -t should* therefore* be controlled b' grace. The correct spirit of the mind is A%o)eB. Ce are to "eep oursel)es in the lo)e of God. %o)e does not lose temper* or thin" e)il* or slash and bite with the tongue. -t is "ind and beareth all things. $emper is a good thingK it is the spirit of man. Enl' when it is malicious and e)il it becomes cruel and awful. A#et on fire of :ellB (,ames G17! and murderer (3 ,ohn G134!. -f one habituall' wal"s with God the temper is sweet* lo)ing* strong and manl' womanl'. This is the meaning of the word AThe fruit of the spirit is 5 self>controlB $houghts must not be allo/ed to /ander uncontrolled As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (pro)erbs ;G1N! (man who thin"s e)il is an e)il man. Thin"ing is
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character building* so beware of thin"ing wrongl'. #uggestions coming to the mind cannot be pre)ented* but we can control our thin"ing and actions. Therefore put awa' e)il thoughts and refuse to harbor and indulge them. $houghts must be healthily fed A?oodB for thought should be well selected. 0assionate no)els* unclean &o"es b' word or loo"* unbelie)ing* fooling con)ersations* gossips are poison to the mind. ?eed 'our thoughts b' good things (0hil 616>8!. $ongue is a mighty /eapon for good and bad %ife and death are in the power of the tongue (0ro)erbs 381;3!. -t can be AfireB* Aa world of ini+uit'B* A?ull of deadl' poisonB* A/efiling the whole bod'B and set on fire of hellB (,ames G14>8! or a Awell of lifeB * A?eeding man'B and as a choice sil)er (0ro)erbs 39133* ;9*;3! ( perfect man is one who does not offend in word (,ames G1;! Enl' one ne)er did. :e was ,esus Christ. ,f thoughts1 tongue and temper are right1 the man is right
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Chat a man is* is important K the actions and words follow naturall' from his state. ( good tree brings forth good fruit. (et your heart delight itself in the (ord and occupied with hol' thingsK be the companion of good men* and the thoughts* tongue and temper will learn the secrets of God and be under the grace of :is spirit. Ce ha)e man' e<amples of foll' of passion. Ce ha)e stories of .aomi who left -srael and went to $oab* a lost sheep and a 0rodigal son. (mong "ings we ha)e 0haraoh* #aul* (hab* Belsha@@ar* .ebuchadne@@ar and :ere* all of them lost self>control and acted madl' and wic"edl'. Ce ha)e good e<amples li"e ,oseph* ,oshua* ,ob* /aniel* Christ* Cornelius* #tephen and man' others. Belie)e in %ord ,esus Christ he will ma"e 'our life beautiful.

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(bout the boo" The boo" A#ecure and #ensible 2elationshipB is based on Biblical principles of relationships. -t helps people to understand health' and unhealth' relationships. -t spea"s finding Biblical principles in dating* marriage* di)orce and re>marriage. -t answeres Questions li"e.. -s /ating EDJ* Chat about re>marriageJ .

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