Aloha CASAs!

Below you will find an article on providing support and safety for lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT) children in families. Although the article itself is written for parents, the information is vitally important to our work as CASAs. As a CASA, you will work with many different types of youth, all of which have their own unique personalities, hopes, dreams and challenges. LGBT youth face risks that all CASAs, and all caregivers, should be aware of. These risks include: discrimination, bullying and harassment, family rejection, suicide, and more. Its important to know what the protective factors are so that you can support your youth, and educate their caregivers about the most effective ways to support and care for them. Please spend some time reviewing this article carefully and thoughtfully. If you find that you have questions when youre finished, please take some time to talk with your CASA Program Social Worker and other experts. The more you know, the better you can advocate for your youth! Mahalo! ______________________________________________________________________

PARENTING TIPS ON HOW TO PROVIDE SUPPORT AND SAFETY for LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, and/or TRANSGENDER (LGBT) CHILDREN IN OUR FAMILIES By Jo Chang of Da Moms The following parenting tips are for all parents, grandparents, and foster parents too, as anyone may have an LGBT child in their family. Basically, parenting an LGBT child is no different than how we would approach parenting any other child: with a commitment to love them, to protect them, and to assist and support them through any difficulties and challenges they may face. Parental love and support is essential for LGBT children, as they are likely to face many challenges, due to a lack of understanding about LGBT people, and the prejudice and discrimination against them that is still so widespread today.

Tips for Parents of an LGBT Child Love and Acceptance is Most Important: Like all other children, an LGBT child wants to loved and accepted for who he or she is, especially by his or her parents. Having their parents love and support can help an LGBT child to be healthy in spite of ongoing discrimination. A Positive View of Your Child is Essential: Your positive view and outlook for your child can help give your child a positive outlook and self image despite the negative views they face in the world around them. Help your child to see himself/herself as a whole person, and to focus on developing his/her assets, interests, and dreams. With support, confidence and hope, LGBT children can thrive and lead happy and successful lives. Learning about Sexual Orientation & Gender is Necessary to Understand Your Child: Briefly, sexual orientation and gender identity are two natural parts of a persons sexual identity. The terms lesbian and gay (attracted to the same sex, or homosexual), bisexual (attracted to both sexes), and straight (attracted to the opposite sex, or heterosexual) refer to a persons sexual orientation or romantic attraction. Gender identity refers to a persons sense of self as a male or female, somewhere in- between, or neither. Transgender refers to those who see themselves as male or female when their anatomical sex suggests the other gender. A transgender persons sexual orientation may be gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight. Children that express themselves differently from societys gender rules (what boys should do, what girls should do) may or may not be transgender. Understand the Internal Stresses: Lesbian, gay and bisexual people are a small part of the population and transgender persons are even less. LGBT children often do not know others like themselves, may feel alone, anxious, and fearful (even of their own parents who are likely straight), believe the negative things they hear about LGBT people, and feel ashamed and hopeless. Learn how to help build self-esteem and resiliency in your child. Understand the External Risks and Dangers for an LGBT Child: An LGBT child, or child who appears to be different in sexual orientation or gender expression, is likely to face discrimination in school, such as name calling, ridicule, bullying, harassment, rejection, isolation, threats and actual physical assault. Work with your childs school to help them understand your child, provide a supportive school environment, and address any signs of distress in your child, such as not fitting in or getting along, lack of friends, reluctance to go to school, being afraid of others, depression, etc. Keep Communication Lines Open: Be interested in the little and the big happenings in your LGBT childs life to keep up with how they are feeling, the difficulties they are encountering, how they are coping, and their needs. Be a

good listener, do not criticize and/or blame your child for his/her difficulties, and build a safe place for your child, especially when they are with you. Build Family Support: Educate family members about the risks, dangers, and harms that an LGBT child faces, and the need for the familys love and support. Involve the family in building a safe home where name calling, gay joke s and putdowns are not allowed. Help them to learn that negative myths and stereotypes about LGBT people are not true, result in prejudice and a hostile environment for all children who appear to be homosexual or gender different, and could be harmful to your own child. Build a Support Network Outside of the Family for Your Child: Seek information and support for your child from your childs doctor, teacher, counselor and/or a mental health practitioner, a social group of other LGBT children/youth, such as a GSA (Gay, Straight Alliance) at school, support organizations for LGBT youth through the internet, and others. Make sure that the people you select have a positive and affirming view of LGBT people, are experienced and knowledgeable about LGBT children, and that internet resources and other resources are checked out by you and accessed with your guidance. Your child needs to understand herself or himself, know that she or he is ok, is not alone, and has strong support to understand and respond to his or her own challenges. Build a Support Network for Yourself: Parents also feel stress from the prejudice and discrimination towards LGBT people, may also fear disapproval, conflict with spiritual or cultural beliefs, and feel overwhelmed, confused, uncertain, and alone. Parents may find assistance from a supportive medical doctor, counselor or therapist, other parents or LGBT support group in your community or online, and other resources such as books, DVDs, and informational websites. An open and loving heart and mind, and a willingness to be flexible and/or change for the sake of your child will help you to find a healthy path for your child and yourself. Unique Challenges Face Transgender and Gender Different Children: In addition to the parenting tips above, parents and their transgender child or gender different child may face even greater confusion, emotional challenges, and discrimination, as people generally know less about transgender and gender different people, and are less accepting of them. And there may be a greater need for parents to help themselves learn about and understand their child, and to advocate for their childs needs, as there are fewer doctors, mental health practitioners, school personnel, and community resources that are knowledgeable and experienced as to the needs of transgender and gender different children. Parental and family support is even more essential for transgender and gender different children to have a healthy and happy life. REMEMBER: ALL CHILDREN ARE WONDERFUL GIFTS!