Institution: Chu Hai College Department: Englsih Department Course: Freshman English Lecturer: Professor Chan Student name:

Chu Chi Fung, Francis Student ID: 201212234H What is Negotiation and how can we become a better negotiator

In all human interaction, at some point in time, differences will inevitably arise (If you need evidence, consider spending a day with the kids in the kindergarten.) and consequently we need to find ways to settle them. Of course, there are tons of ways to settle disagreementsa duel used to be a popular way to settle arguments back in the days of the cowboys (ever watched a cowboy movie by Clint Eastwood?). It looks good on the paper; I admit that, but if any disagreements were to be solved in this way, then even the best dueler in the world would have a hard time living long enough to see their grandkids. The next best way (and a much less violent way) would be to negotiate. But what exactly is negotiation in the first place? Negotiation is a mean to settle differences by reaching agreements while avoiding arguments. Negotiation is not to be confused with confrontation. In Negotiation, a win/win situation is the ultimate goalboth parties may not achieve maximum gain, but they do achieve optimal gain such that it ensures both parties have gained something in the process and do not walk away empty-handed. In confrontation, on the other hand, there is a winner and a loser i.e. win/lose. It is an all-or-none situationyou either win or lose, just like the outcome of a duelyou either kill your opponent, or you get killed by your opponent. Negotiation can take a wide variety of forms, from a formal negotiation between different organizations in a formal setting, to an informal negotiation between friends. Negotiation theorists generally distinguish between two types of negotiation, namely Distributive negotiation and integrative negotiation. Distributive negotiation, sometimes called positional or hard-bargaining negotiation, tends to approach negotiation on the model of haggling in a market. In this type of negotiation, each side often adopts an extreme position, knowing that is will not be accepted. Each side then employs a series of guile, bluffing and brinksmanship so as

to cede as little as possible before reaching a deal. The term distributive means that there is a fixed amount of the thing being distributed or divided among the people involved. Therefore, this type of negotiation is also sometimes referred to as the distribution of a fixed pie. Integrative negotiation, sometimes called interest-based or principled negotiation, is a set of techniques that strives to improve the quality and the odds of negotiated agreement by providing an alternative to traditional distributive negotiation techniques. It differs from distributive negotiation in that it often attempts to create value during the course of the negotiation, whereas it is assumed that a fixed amount of value is to be divided between the parties in distributive negotiation. The term integrative implies some cooperation, so this type of negotiation often involves a higher degree of trust and the forming of a relationship. Now that we know what negotiation is, let us shift gear and talk about how to become a better negotiator. But first, we need to understand that everything is negotiable. In our daily lives, we are presented with situations that discourage us from negotiating for our own benefit by portraying us as rude or troublesome for negotiating. Our world is literally filled with signs that say Negotiators Not Welcome, and they appear in the form of statements like XXX Company is not responsible for How many times have we accepted a table near the door just because we are afraid of asking for a more desirable spot? When was the last time you ask for compensation when you found out that the exact accommodation that you have reserved in the hotel were unavailable? We have all been conditioned by the society to not negotiate but to accept the status quo. That is exactly the opposite of what an aspiring negotiator should do. To become a successful negotiator, we must develop the everything is negotiable mindset. Only by developing this mindset can we actually see that there are plenty of opportunities for us to negotiate, and we have all heard the saying practice makes perfect . So how can we improve our negotiation skill? First, we have to learn to get around the rules. As I have mentioned before, we are conditioned by the society to just obey and not question, like when we are at schools.

This conditioning process leads us to accept rules without question, even when the rules are sometimes non-sense. So to be a successful negotiator, we have got to question those rules or regulations or policies that we find unreasonable. No one may have questioned them before, but it does not matter. Second, we have to go straight to the top. That means when we negotiate, we want to negotiate with someone that has authoritysomeone that can make things happen, like the manager in a shop; instead of talking to someone who cannot make things happen, like the cashier at the cash register. I think the reason is quite self-evidentno matter how brilliant your negotiation skills are, you still will not get what you want if you are talking to someone who cannot get things done. Third, we have to keep our cool during the negotiation. Of course we know the reason why we have to negotiate is because there is disagreement between us and them. And it is understandable that we may be outraged by how the other party treats us. However, for the sake of a successful negotiation, try to keep your cool and focus on getting them to act. After all, negotiation is a mean for us to settle differences by reaching agreements that are beneficial to both parties. This is already a complicated process in itself, so if the decision maker that you are negotiating with has to deal with both your anger and the negotiation, how can you expect him/her to make rational decision(s)? That is not to say you cant have emotion, but learn to control it, at least during the negotiation. Finally, we should never negotiate in the crowd. In a successful negotiation, concession is essential. However, no one wants to do this in front of the public. Also, if you do get what you want by negotiating in front of the crowd, then the crowd will demand the same thing too. Needless to say, it creates tremendous pressure to the decision maker. Thus your odds of getting what you want from the negotiation will be slim. Negotiation is something that we do not learn from the school, yet is so vital to all of us. To become better at negotiation, we have to negotiate more. In the end, we may find out just how awesome a negotiator we can be!